hangingbymidnight

[hangingbymidnight]

Some days I feel okay, like I feel like I can function properly and keep myself from breaking down, I can keep up with my friends and actually enjoy myself.

But others I can’t. I try not to break down and cry like a baby.

#self destructive thoughts #self h@rm #bpd thoughts #su!cidal #tw depressing thoughts #tw self destructive behavior #tw s3lf harm #s3lfharmm #tw sui ideation

[hangingbymidnight]

Teehee. My FP is now on their way to my state and I’m stuck at work for the duration of his trip 😌 god I wanna fucking die.

#tw sh related #tw s3lf harm #tw sui ideation #tw self destructive behavior #tw self blame #tw depressing thoughts #self destructive thoughts #self h@rm #bpd thoughts #su!cidal #s3lfharmm #bpd favorite person #bpd feels #depression #depressing shit #sorry for being depressing

[hangingbymidnight]

I need to be fucking dead. I want to be in a fucking urn, I want to mangle my body in the most painful way possible, I want to slit my thighs and arms open as deep and hard as I can! I want to make everyone feel bad when I die, I want no sympathy from any fucking one of you assholes!!!!! I want to throw myself into fucking traffic

#tw sui ideation #tw self destructive behavior #self destructive thoughts #self h@rm #bpd thoughts #su!cidal #tw depressing thoughts #tw s3lf harm #s3lfharmm

[hangingbymidnight]

Love that my FP and my other friends are coming to my state for a small vacation and I can’t join because I have no transportation. Fuck this is going to be a long 4 days of them telling and showing me all they’ve done and I’m going to cry because i won’t be there 🙃 this is going to be painful

#fp bpd #favorite person #bpd favorite person #self destructive behavior #haha kill me #jealousy #self destructive thoughts #self h@rm #bpd thoughts #su!cidal #tw depressing thoughts #tw self destructive behavior #tw s3lf harm

[hangingbymidnight]

[hangingbymidnight]

She’s so tall and thin… why can’t I look like her?

Why can’t I be tall like she is?

Why can’t I be confident like she is?

Why can’t I be calm and collected like she is?

Why can’t I be not annoying like she is?

Why can’t I be kind like she is?

Why can’t I be talkative and energetic like she is?

Why can’t I be outspoken like she is?

Why can’t I be pretty like she is?

Why can’t I be smart like she is?

Why can’t everyone like me like she is?

Why can’t I be adored like she is?

Why can’t I be like she is?…

#self destructive thoughts #bpd thoughts #tw depressing thoughts #self h@rm #su!cidal #tw self destructive behavior #tw s3lf harm #s3lfharmm #bpd #bpd feels #bpd mood #bpd vent #vent #vent blog #personal vent #vent post

[hangingbymidnight]

Vent

You know what? I refuse to get better. I refuse to listen to anyone who gives me advice or telling me “sUiCiDe Is A pErMaNeNt SoLuTiOn To A tEmPoRaRy PrObLeM” or some “iT gEtS bEtTeR” bullshit. You fuckers only say that so you can gives yourselves a trophy or a pat on the back so you think you did something and helped someone (side note: you didn’t). If it supposedly gets better, when? When will I wake up every morning wishing I didn’t die in my sleep? When will I have a love for life like everyone else? When will I love myself for who I am and not hate everything about me? And honestly, if I wasn’t meant to be a toxic, selfish asshole all my life everything that’s happened from me being born up until now, it wouldn’t have happened at all, idk just a thought

#asp.txt #tw sui ideation #tw s3lf harm #self h@rm #tw self blame #tw self destructive behavior #tw depressing thoughts #bpd vent #vent post #vent page #self destructive thoughts #bpd thoughts #su!cidal #I wish I had killed myself

[hangingbymidnight]

I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly I’m ugly

#I’m genuinely the ugliest fucking troll to exist #please fucking kill me #self destructive thoughts #self h@rm #bpd thoughts #su!cidal #tw depressing thoughts #tw self destructive behavior #su!c!de #depression #tw sh related #tw s3lf harm #please let me fucking die

[hangingbymidnight]

TW// DARK THOUGHTS, SH-MENTION, SU!C!D3 MENTION UNDER THE CUT

I can’t shake the thoughts and fantasies of just wanting to SH in front of my coworkers/customers. It’s such a selfish thought to want to traumatize people who have wrong me even if they’re just strangers/people I see 3-5 days out of the week. I mess up at work a lot and the need to just hit something deep in my arms/legs in the moment gets hard to fucking ignore, my job is the fucking easiest thing to do in the world and yet I still find a way to screw up/do the wrong thing and make my department manager angry/annoyed with me.

#self destructive tendencies #tw self destructive behavior #self destructing post #tw s3lf harm #s3lfharmm #self destructive thoughts #self h@rm #bpd thoughts #su!cidal #tw depressing thoughts

[hangingbymidnight]

TW// SH// VENT:

Anyone else just get urges to SH at work in secret? Like my department foot traffic usually dies down around 5-6pm and I’ve had so many thoughts to just pull out my box cutter and just go to town in front of the security cameras-

#self destructive thoughts #self h@rm #bpd thoughts #su!cidal #tw depressing thoughts #tw self destructive behavior #tw sh related #tw sui ideation

[hangingbymidnight]

Nothing like being jealous because your friend is hanging out with a mutual and you weren’t even invited even tho if you were asked from the beginning you still would have said no anyways-

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

#self destructive thoughts #self h@rm #bpd thoughts #su!cidal #goddamn #if you don’t want to invite me next time just say so #fuck you #tw depressing thoughts #depression

[hangingbymidnight]

[hangingbymidnight]

sorry for short answers i don’t necessarily want to be alive right now

[hangingbymidnight]

wow i really feel like killing myself tonight

[hangingbymidnight]

[hangingbymidnight]

Nothing like ignoring your FP because they said they were gonna hang out with a friend and their partner. 🙃

I call it giving them space even tho they said they wanna hear from me today. I just don’t wanna bother them.

#bpd favorite person #bpd thoughts #bpd problems #bpd things #self destructive thoughts #I just don’t wanna bother them y’know? #they deserve the whole world #i love them sm

[hangingbymidnight]

I feel so fucking drained. Goddamn. But good news is I’ve lost 13lbs from not eating so that’s good :)

#self destructive thoughts #self h@rm #su!c!de #su!cidal #ed not ed sheeran