iamkeepingmysmile-blog

[iamkeepingmysmile-blog]

“But how do you find the right people-how do you love without smothering them? How do you not suffocate them with all the love you’ve built up in their absence?” - Simon Van Booy, Everything Beautiful Began After

[iamkeepingmysmile-blog]

On and off

at one time, you gave me butterflies and made me smile..but as soon as you did that, you left me with confusion and un-loved.

what are you doing exactly?

[iamkeepingmysmile-blog]

You often look for me when i started to look away

JM

#unwanted

[iamkeepingmysmile-blog]

Without you

Reality hits. Beautiful things end. Creating future without you and facing it all alone and wanting to be strong. Silence and the sense of being one and alone becoming surreal as reality check, I am standing on my own. An effort to try and just a feeling of an emptiness opens the door for the weak. To be strong is important as keeping it real. I will not let myself drown. Just letting a simple cycle of life flows where in order to get happiness, a sadness will come through.

#positivevibes

[iamkeepingmysmile-blog]

Rejected

The feeling that you gave me. 

For every conversation that i started, for every jokes i told, for every care gesture i gave.. you shut me down. The feeling of unwanted person grew inside of me. As much as myself trying to denied it, it became obvious that i was the unwanted chaser. It does deeply cut me emotionally.

Begin to question my value to you.

#value #emotions #wound

[iamkeepingmysmile-blog]

Yeah, me too

JM

Worst reply for ‘ I love you ‘

[iamkeepingmysmile-blog]

Thanking

For a while, forever seems very sure for both of us. A precise plan of building a family, supporting each other career, committed in making it happen.. but now, forever stops here. I am happy to be involved with you for years. I am glad that you made it into my life. The memories will be cherish.. The lesson will be learned.. The love will never be forgotten. 

Thanking you for all the love you poured and shared with me. 

#loved

[iamkeepingmysmile-blog]

Not here

Is it just me or your feeling is no longer there? What’s worst is when two people decided to work things out but one of them actually loses their feelings towards another. 

Stay to see where this will go to and carving my own cuts in my heart or should i just tell?

#heartbreak

[iamkeepingmysmile-blog]

We will still be together but it won't be the same as before

JM

#twisted #twosides #happy or not

[iamkeepingmysmile-blog]

Air

Do not settle for someone who always make you as their option. Why settle for someone who constantly making you as their seconds? As a backup plan? Do not let them have that kind of control in your own life. You matter. As important as the air that everyone breathe in. 

#prioritiseyourself

[iamkeepingmysmile-blog]

Picture

Trying to make a perfect picture with the brightest smile ever.. doesn’t work. A smile may hide all the sadness. Tears, can get rid all of that. Cry your sadness out until you tell yourself, I CAN ONLY CRY FOR HAPPINESS after this.

#tears

[iamkeepingmysmile-blog]

How to make it normal when what we had before just beyond special to treat it normal?

JM

#love

[iamkeepingmysmile-blog]

Those days.. 

“Her heart had not spoken…When it does - too late - the pain of it. I ought to have felt like this - often, often. With whom I have been happiest? No one in particular. It’s a pale, silent day: I would like to be walking in a wood, far away.” - Katherine Mansfield, The Journal of Katherine Mansfield

[iamkeepingmysmile-blog]

Makes me wonder of the term Forever

“Every time I feel good, I think it'll last forever, but it doesn't.” - Euphoria (2019 - )

[iamkeepingmysmile-blog]

First, to forgive your own self for the rough time

JM

#self love #loveyourself

[iamkeepingmysmile-blog]

Trying

To move on and act nothing is tough. Those who can do this deserves a respect and a smile for bearing it. Those who can’t..this will be the luggage that they need to bring for every ride. The luggage that will burden the weight on your shoulder sooner or later. It may sound simple but in reality, to forgive is one tougher decision and the only solution for one to move on.

currently trying to do it..

#forgive #we never learn

[iamkeepingmysmile-blog]

heart or mind, which one to follow?

JM