lilapplesheadcannons

[lilapplesheadcannons]

You know, his silly drunk antiques are what actually sealed the deal for Wei Wuxian. You can crush on Lan Wangji. You can be awed by the Hanguang-Jun. But he fell in love with the man playing tag round and round the screen.

Love isn't complete without a pinch of pity.

"lan wangji is so scary and intimidating"

lan wangji goes blurp blurp with the water of his bath.

[lilapplesheadcannons]

Wei Wuxian: I always wanted to be in a horror movie!

Madam Jiang: Is this family not good enough for you?

[lilapplesheadcannons]

Jin ZiXuan: I feel my siblings intentionally chose the scariest people they could find just to mess with me. Nie MingJue looks like he would start benchpressing me at the drop of a hat. Wen Qing has got plans for my liver and not all of them involve Fava beans and Chianti. I'd say the delinquent is the least scary of them all. He is just like those neurotic chihuahuas trying to bite your ankle.

.

.

.A-Qing: That would be 82.90. Would you like extra napkins?

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #mdzs crack #mdzs headcanons #the grandmaster of diabolism #the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #the untamed #cql #incorrect mdzs #incorrect cql #mxtx #mxtx mdzs #jin zixuan #a qing #nie mingjue #wen qing #xue chengmei #nieyao #mo xuanyu x xue yang #xue yang #xueyu #qin su x wen qing

[lilapplesheadcannons]

Then he might as well exonerate poor Miyuki!

More reasons why Zuko being the Firelord is objectively the funniest thing on earth:

HES SEVENTEEN

He hasn’t been civilised in 4 years, his entire teenage experience consists of living on a boat and sleeping rough. The most stable bed he has was probably in Ba Sing Se he probably will just nap anywhere.

He has customer service experience which means he probably uses his customer service voice on his minsters.

Additionally he probably just wanders into to kitchen to get his own snacks and tea because he forgets what servants do.

He probably has no idea why he can’t just chase after an assassin he used to hunt the avatar for Agnis sake why is the captain of the guard demanding he stay in his room he’ll find the guy first (he’s probably right)

Katara probably has a free pass on Eco terrorism because what’s he going to do challenge her, she’ll beat his ass.

If he saw a minster doing something shady he will either invite lady Beifong to detect their BS or commit B&E and look for evidence himself.

He somehow found a baby dragon and raises it.

He will be far to willing to give Kyoshi island anything they want cause he feels bad and Suki scares him.

He randomly insisted on giving some earth kingdom village 100 ostrich horses.

The Avatar will just show up call him Hotman and demand the go on adventures and the Firelord will just dip because he’s been confined to long and has the Zoomies.

He takes far to much advice from Sokka and will genuinely believe if someone doesn’t get Sokkas plans they must be an idiot because Sokka is 16.

Sokka and Zuko also get into a lot of teenage rebellion phases by accident.

Toph just walks in breaks a wall of his palace and demands a field trip that always involves the Firelord having to explain himself to the cops.

He somehow knows every dangerous teen in the world and they all come for tea uninvited.

He has broken into both the NWT and Ba Sing Se.

He has a really well documented facial scar and official portraits but still disappears to be Lee the tea guy like no one knows.

HES SEVENTEEN.

#not mdzs #atla #zuko

[lilapplesheadcannons]

Lan Sizhui didn't understand, for the longest time, why.

Why he felt the way he did.

Why he reacted to certain things differently than others.

Why he would flinch away from the golden robes of visiting cultivators.

Why the sound of the Jiang river-bell made him sad.

Why the feeling of being called: good made him squirm.

The ghosts of shadows wrapped around his shoulders whisper to pay it no mind. To keep certain behaviors tucked away.

"...It's okay....~

~...Forgive, forget.... most importantly...

HIDE!"

Always a comfort, but always strange.

Who or what were these shadows?

Where did they come from?

Why did they watch over him?

Why so familiar?

[lilapplesheadcannons]

They never find his body; they suppose that was their first mistake.

Perhaps the next was assuming the one with the power of death and souls at his fingertips would remain dead.

Yiling longs to know whether their child, their patriarch, died that night.

Or if he simply slipped off into the night.

Either way, he still shows up.

Years later.

Changed.

A little smaller.

A little brighter.

Less haunted, less sad.

A white-clad enemy in tow.

Stoic, sensible, and irrevocably in love.

And the villagers think: "At last, our little Yiling boy, has a home and a family. No more cold nights, no more hunger, and no more dogs."

Now the threat of that family being ripped to shreds, is all but likely.

Safe, because of their reputation.

Because of their power.

Something Yiling wished the remnants had had, once upon a time.

[lilapplesheadcannons]

Introducing the MXTX tops-

1) pathetic crybayby puppy yandere who will feed you his blood

2)preverted beast who must be restrained with 5000 rules and also a forehead ribbon leash

3) S I M P

#svsss #mdzs #tgcf #mxtx #(sagely nodding my head): True!

[lilapplesheadcannons]

Hey buddy, why don't you try crushing on a dead guy for 13 years and then having him come back to life, climb on top of your chest and fall asleep, huh?

'Chill'! Forsooth!!

another thing about my boy Lan Wangji is that he has no chill. zero chill. negative chill. he is the black hole where chill goes to die.

when Wei Ying asks what he thinks of him, drunk Lan Zhan says “Mine.” but “Mine” means “i will protect you from harm by any means necessary. i will catch you when you faint or fall, even if i know you’re faking it. i will defend you from vicious beasts and cute puppies alike. i will buy you anything your heart desires. i will cradle your head in my lap so your neck doesn’t hurt when you wake up. i will trust you. i will do whatever it takes to keep you happy, including drinking with you. i will die of jealousy every time someone else touches you but i will not show it.”

Wei Wuxian keeps describing him as icy or cold or indifferent but that’s such bull. my boy has built a snow colored fortress to hide the inferno inside because if a single lick of his fire comes out, it will swallow the world whole.

a complete absence of chill.

#mdzs #mo dao su zhi #grandmaster of demonic arts #the grandmaster of diabolism #grand master of demonic cultivation #the untamed #cql #lan wangji #lan zhan #hanguang jun

[lilapplesheadcannons]

Let us suppose that the "average" horse would have equal proportions of all these parts. The degree to which each part in this poll deviates from the "average" size (20% of total) will determine how large or small that part of our horse will be (i.e a horse with only 10% in Legs will have legs half the size of the average horse).

I will draw a picture of the horse we make!

#let's build a vaguely quadruped mass of hair!!!

[lilapplesheadcannons]

We might need camping gear!

I can't go to museums alone or I'll get lost and be late to places I need to go to. So:

I need someone to just follow me around at a museum so I'm not getting lost/remind me to leave, listen to me ramble and read the history notes together.

[lilapplesheadcannons]

Sounds awesome! Do you have a generally okayish sense of direction, though?

I can't go to museums alone or I'll get lost and be late to places I need to go to. So:

I need someone to just follow me around at a museum so I'm not getting lost/remind me to leave, listen to me ramble and read the history notes together.

[lilapplesheadcannons]

How about me? I get too distracted, and my eyesight is too bad to read the little cards they have on displays. I'd love to hear someone talk about displays rather than have to Google them.

I can't go to museums alone or I'll get lost and be late to places I need to go to. So:

I need someone to just follow me around at a museum so I'm not getting lost/remind me to leave, listen to me ramble and read the history notes together.

[lilapplesheadcannons]

"Wei Wuxian, stop texting with your boyfriend!"📸

[lilapplesheadcannons]

[lilapplesheadcannons]

fuck it homebrew boop button. reblog this post to boop the person you reblogged from.

[lilapplesheadcannons]

#a fisherman's hat

[lilapplesheadcannons]

I voted Xiao Xingchen because he fits all the criteria.

For everyone voting Lan Wangji, you do know what goes in that boy's mind 24/7, right?

#mdzs #mo dao su zhi #polls #xiao xingchen