literatstudies

[literatstudies]

oh fuck *falls back into old habits* *screen fades to black* *level loading* TIP: your belief that you are incapable of changing for the better will become a self fulfilling prophecy if left unchallenged

[literatstudies]

horrible news: my therapist said I have to be vulnerable

#aby speaks into the void

[literatstudies]

yes, I’m always doom scrolling. if I stop to think, I’ll crumble into dust.

#aby speaks into the void #literatstudies #doom scrolling

[literatstudies]

The Worst Part of Losing a Loved One

I think the worst about losing a loved one, be it a family member, a friend, a partner, is that all those memories you made together only exist in your mind now. With other people, you can get together and remember adventures, sorrows, even fights, and laugh about it. You can be happy about your past. A shared memory is meaningful.

But when the other half of that memory dies, something breaks along with it. It’s up to you to remember the details, the moments, everything. That time was your time, and now you can’t forget anything, because if you forget, who’s gonna be there to help you remember?

I can’t ask my dad what he used to say every night he’d tucked me into bed, and now I can’t remember. That little ritual between us remains in my heart, in my feelings, in the smile I have whenever I think about the good things. But the details are gone. They’re blurry, messy, inconsistent, and he’s no longer here to help me find the words.

The jokes we used to share are in a book in my brain; jokes that I only tell as a way to keep him alive. It’s my way to do that, and no one else’s.

My father lives in the silly little dad jokes I tell once in a while. In the warmth of my bed whenever I need comfort. He lives in those grand memories. But I wish he’d still live in the details.

Maybe I just want him back.

#aby speaks into the void #literatstudies #original poem #abywrites #sometimes! #studyblr #english is not my first language #sorry! #please let me know if there are any mistakes #poetry #literature

[literatstudies]

you can start learning anything you always wanted at any point in your life. & how nice it is to remember that

[literatstudies]

small talk? it was quite big to me. i love you

[literatstudies]

why is love so hard?! I just want to make my friends absolutely happy all the time WITHOUT having to think about the romantic aspects of it. I love my friends!!! they deserve the world and I wanna give it to them!!!

#I don’t understand relationships #do I want to be with my bff or just give her the world? #i can’t tell #aby speaks into the void

[literatstudies]

there are so many possible career paths and I have to choose ONE?! a horrifying thought to be honest

#to be confined to one job for the rest of my life #sounds like hell #I wanna be an astronaut #and a lit teacher #and an engineer #pilot #and SO MUCH MORE #literatstudies #aby speaks into the void

[literatstudies]

the guy I like likes my best friend (and she likes him back) – this is my cliché romance book era

#but in a sad way #i will NEVER tell her that i liked him first #aby speaks into the void

[literatstudies]

every day i get my heart ripped out & every day i simply just continue

[literatstudies]

I’m so tired of capitalism and forced consumerism!!!!! I hate that AI is now in everything!!!! we are slowly becoming every single thing dystopian movies/books warned us about and nobody! is! listening!

#do we really need a hundred different streaming services? #I miss old movie stores #nobody was forcing you to buy anything you didn’t want to #nowadays everything is just buy buy buy! #and I don’t like it #at all #I just want to use tumblr to write silly little poems #who cares about the verification badge! #it doesn’t even mean anything! #give me back the 2000s internet vibe please and thank you #aby speaks into the void

[literatstudies]

I need to stop overthinking every text I send

my voice disappears – I will never catch it. but my written words stain my hands with the sins of my past

#like my mom is not gonna judge me #nor will my friends #but still #my anxiety wins again #aby speaks into the void

[literatstudies]

The intimacy of being listened to with full attention and the intent to understand your soul; without judgement.

[literatstudies]

for some unknown reason

I have the unwavering urge to

sit in front of her

knees touching

face to face

and tenderly

softly

put her hair behind her ears in a gesture so intimate

so pure

sex starts to feel meaningless

and love is all I can give to you

#poetry #romantic academia #light academia #poem #original art #literatstudies #lesbian wednesday #publishing one of my silly little poems in honor of my bday #aby speaks into the void

[literatstudies]

(literature girl summer) we're back to finishing a book in two days

[literatstudies]

why do all the words sound heavier in my native language? scratch that. why did I choose to seek refuge in a language of another instead of training my tongue to bear the heaviness of my own?

[literatstudies]

someone please turn me into a poem or a painting, I’m tired of being human