loveandscience

[loveandscience]

Was thinking about why my Shockwave fic means so much to me

and it's because I definitely saw myself as a horrible unforgivable person when I was a kid. Objectively, I never did anything that bad, looking back I was actually a fairly nice kid, but I saw myself as evil and bad and believed I didn't deserve a scrap of love.

I tried so hard to be emotionless and completely logical all the time, on the outside, because emotional expression was punished.

I was only valuable inasmuch as I produced good work, and it parallels with the Functionists altering Shockwave, stealing who he was, and then Shockwave taking on that identity so much and relishing in being the perfect logical scientist.

God, I tried so hard to be that.

And I used to feel so threatened by kindness, while simultaneously feeling desperate for it. I remember feeling that anger as a child, when people were kind, because I didn't think I deserved it and I thought it was a trick. Because, it usually was in the early years.

So many of the thoughts Shockwave has are similar to what I thought. And there was the 'hopeless' part of me, like Cosmos, that went toward anyone who showed the slightest kindness and immediately attached. Although, I like to think I was more self-aware than he was, in this story, lol.

It was a long time of my therapist de-programming me, and Rung does that for Shockwave.

I remember finally settling in to kindness others gave. Finally accepting I was not a monster that deserved eternal suffering. Finally being able to be kind, and not just sacrificing.

The emotions and thoughts it brings up are so familiar, and it makes me think, 'here's how gentle and kind you could have been treated when you were feeling this way and believing these things. here's how loved you should have been from the start, and maybe it could have avoided all that.'

#personal #ramblings

[loveandscience]

how to find literally any post on a blog in seconds (on desktop)

there are so many posts about ~tumblr is so broken, you can’t find any post on your own blog, it’s impossible, bluhrblub~

I am here to tell you otherwise! it is in fact INCREDIBLY easy to find a post on a blog if you’re on desktop/browser and you know what you’re doing:

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant. every single post, every single time. in chronological order starting with the most recent post. note: it will not find #croissants or that time you made the typo #croidnssants. for a tag with multiple words, it’s just /tagged/my-croissant and it will show you everything with the exact phrase #my croissant

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant/chrono will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the exact phrase #croissant, but it will show them in reverse order with the oldest first 

url.tumblr.com/search/croissant isn’t as perfect at finding everything, but it’s generally loads better than the search on mobile. it will find a good array of posts that have the word croissant in them somewhere. could be in the body of the post (op captioned it “look at my croissant”) or in the tags (#man I want a croissant). it won’t necessarily find EVERYTHING like /tagged/ does, but I find it’s still more reliable than search on mobile. you can sometimes even find posts by a specific user by searching their url. also, unlike whatever random assortment tumblr mobile pulls up, it will still show them in a more logically chronological order

url.tumblr.com/day/2020/11/05 will show you every post on the blog from november 5th, 2020, in case you’re taking a break from croissants to look for destiel election memes 

url.tumblr.com/archive/ is search paradise. easily go to a particular month and see all posts as thumbnails! search by post type! search by tags but as thumbnails now

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio will show you every audio post on your blog (you can also filter by other post types). sometimes a little imperfect if you’re looking for a video when the op embedded the video in a text post instead of posting as a video post, etc

url.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/croissant will show you EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant, but it will show you them in the archive thumbnail view divided by months. very useful if you’re looking for a specific picture of a croissant that was reblogged 6 months ago and want to be able to scan for it quickly 

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio/tagged/croissant will show you every audio post tagged with the specific phrase #croissant (you can also filter by photo or text instead, because I don’t know why you have audio posts tagged croissant) 

the tag system on desktop tumblr is GENUINELY amazing for searching within a specific blog! 

caveat: this assumes a person HAS a desktop theme (or “custom theme”) enabled. a “custom theme” is url.tumblr.com, as opposed to tumblr.com/url. I’ve heard you have to opt-into the former now, when it used to be the default, so not everyone HAS a custom theme where you can use all those neat url tricks. 

if the person doesn’t have a “custom theme” enabled, you’re beholden to the search bar. still, I’ve found the search bar on tumblr.com/url is WAY more reliable than search on mobile. for starters, it tends to bring posts up in a sensible order, instead of dredging up random posts from 2013 before anything else

if you’re on mobile, I’m sorry. godspeed and good luck finding anything. (my one tip is that if you’re able to click ON a tag rather than go through the search bar, you’ll have better luck. if your mutual has recently reblogged a post tagged #croissant, you can click #croissant and it’ll bring up everything tagged #croissant just like /tagged/croissant. but if there’s no readily available tag to click on, you have to rely on the mobile search bar and its weird bizarre whims) 

#how to #tumblr

[loveandscience]

this is assuming its on art you normally wouldn't jump to reblog. i myself only rb stuff i really really like so .

The 'rude/demanding' tone would be stuff along the lines of "if you like but don't reblog I'll [threat]" which i see surprisingly often, both serious and more silly

[loveandscience]

PresAux, during That Scene: Please just come out of the bathroom and talk with us. 🥺

Secunit: *comes out of the bathroom, has a hissy fit, starts a verbal slap fight with the menacing (at the time) transport that abducted them*

PresAux: 😬 Do you...do you maybe wanna go back in the bathroom for a minute?

#murderbot

[loveandscience]

Saw this meme for Hannibal and thought of Murderbot…

#murderbot

[loveandscience]

I dislike how clumsy it is to share Twitter threads but here is a portion from a guy I follow (for his trans porn and monster fucking content at that) echoing a sentiment that aces, traumatized people, people with low libido, etc. can fully relate to. The rest is here and it’s absolutely worth the read.

#sex mention cw

[loveandscience]

#transphobia

[loveandscience]

Megatron petting Predaking, too! And calling him "my pet!"

#megatron #predaking #transformers #tfp #Instagram

[loveandscience]

Trying to work myself up to go to this beach event kiddo has. The beach is my own personal natural sensory hell.

#beach haters unite #i like the heat and humidity in Florida but not the beaches go figure

[loveandscience]

Shockwave petting Predaking is everything

#transformers #shockwave #predaking #tfp #Shockwave always needs a little pet to have #As a treat #Instagram

[loveandscience]

Watching Transformers G1 Part 646

How long has he had that

Weird ass secret unicorn horn

#megatron #g1 #transformers

[loveandscience]

the brain: a pool of slag

the body: functional pain

me:

#I just found this post in my drafts idk how long it's been here #but mood former self #absolute mood #it must have been in drafts bc i didn't have anything to put for the last line after me: #but the nothingness is very fitting

[loveandscience]

Soundwave from Transformers Prime - Aluminum Foil Sculpture

#soundwave #transformers #tfp

[loveandscience]

It’s funny to think that Knock Out doesn’t have a medical license but it’s even funnier to assume he does. Like, he attended the Cybertron version of medical school, did all the exams, got the diploma, and he’s still like that. It’s not that he’s a bad doctor, he just doesn’t give a shit. 

#knock out #knockout #transformers #tfp

[loveandscience]

I laughed so fucking hard at this

[loveandscience]

[loveandscience]

mesothulas casually saying something suggesting the possibility he fucked shockwave once and prowl immediately bluescreens and is torn between 'dont ask dont ask DONT encourage him' and the fact that not knowing will haunt him to his grave

#if one had the chance to fuck shockwave #would they not? #sex mention cw #taraprowl #tarantulas #transformers #i know i know my thing for shockwave getting laid is not universal