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[machine-with-heart]

I want to kill myself

Because everything I do is wrong. Again.

I can't do anything right apparently.

And I'm alone completely.

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The woman whom was always a fill in for extended family, courageous, independent, she was a second mother to me in so many ways. I admired her for so many qualities. I regret, for two days I thought that I should go visit her. That I should see her, spend some time with her. Justin said he'd spent the last few days with her after koltons death.

This woman passed away unexpectedly yesterday. I found out from her son. Her other son had passed away suddenly in a crash almost a week from today.

This hurts. I know she died in the most peaceful way possible. But I am so numb right now for you, attending the arrangements was the hardest thing I've done in a long time. Every day can be hard getting up and operating...that was the hardest thing I've done in a long time.

I miss you. This is grief.

#loss #death #grief

[machine-with-heart]

[machine-with-heart]

“You are not helpless. You are not heartless. And you have time.”

— Toni Morrison, The Source of Self-Regard (via queengreendown)

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The perfect night

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I’m slowly learning that some people aren’t good for me, no matter how much I love them.

WorkingWomen.com (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

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                        I kneel into a dream where I                 am good & loved. I am                        good. I am loved. My hands have made some good mistakes. They can always                                                                                make better ones. 

Natalie Wee, “Least of All,” Our Bodies & Other Fine Machines (Amazon / Goodreads)

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😂

I am not making this up.

[machine-with-heart]

[machine-with-heart]

Charles Bukowski, “The Bluebird”

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#art #creepy #odd #drawing #moth #Danaesart

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Road worn fender guitars and basses.

#adventure #musicbar #music #fender #guitars #bass

[machine-with-heart]

Ocala Springs, Florida. Where the water is bluer than the sky.

#ocala #rainbowsprings #florida #nature #water

[machine-with-heart]

If there are layers to 90 percent of the people I have met...they arent even aware of it themselves.

“People, I have discovered, are layers and layers of secrets. You believe you know them, that you understand them, but their motives are always hidden from you, buried in their own hearts. You will never know them.”

— Veronica Roth