maxxsio18

[maxxsio18]

Ace dating sites?

Can anyone help, I've looked for ace dating sites but nothing sticks out, what's people's experiences like with main dating sites (like Tinder or bumble etc) I want to know if they're ace friendly or just pointless in joining

#asexuality #asexual #asexual struggles #pride #ace pride #ace problems #blogging #pride stuff #mental health struggles #ace ring #ace space #acespec #aseuxal #asexual representation #asexual rights

[maxxsio18]

"It's nothing to do with your asexuality"

...

How do you not blame your asexuality when there's phrases like this coming out? Because I'm struggling

#asexuality #asexual #asexual struggles #pride #ace pride #ace problems #blogging #pride stuff #mental health struggles

[maxxsio18]

Hi all,

I just wanted to ask my fellow aces out there about how did you find out your discomforts. Did you have to actually try and do it? Or did you brain just think nope that's grossing me out so I'm not trying it. I'm just trying to find out what I feel uncomfortable with and just struggling on ways to find it out.

Have a good weekend and easter!

🖤🩶🤍💜

#asexuality #asexual #asexual struggles #pride #ace pride #ace problems #blogging #pride stuff #mental health struggles

[maxxsio18]

#asexual #asexuality #asexual struggles #pride #ace pride #ace problems #blogging #pride stuff #heartstopper

[maxxsio18]

Sexual Orientation

Sexual orientation describes how you experience sexual attraction, but also can refer to the feeling of sexual desire. Different asexuals experience sexual orientation as we shall look into in this post.

Asexual

Asexual people don't feel any sexual attraction to anyone, however they still might experience a sexual desire while some asexuals might not experience any sexual desires.

Greysexual

Greysexuals who also refer to as Grey-A or GreyAce experience limited sexual attraction and may enjoy sexual behaviour under certain circumstances or rare occasions.

Demisexual

Demisexual will only experience sexual attraction when they have a strong relationship/emotional connection to someone else. Demisexual people are more likely to engage with sex more than what an Asexual or Greysexual would do.

But when speaking about asexual people we have to remember that everyone doesn't have the same experiences with sex or romance. Everybody in the ace community has their own story and we aren't all the same!

Have a good day all!

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#asexuality #asexual #asexual struggles #pride #ace pride #ace problems #blogging #pride stuff #mental health struggles #heartstopper

[maxxsio18]

The History Of Asexuality

Asexuality was first sort of mentioned in 1869 by a Hungarian doctor called Karl-Maria Kertbeny where he created and published pamphlets against a sodomy law in Germany against the criticism of different sexual orientations. In these pamphlets he mentioned different sexual orientations which one of them was "monosexual" which in todays time means when someone feels romantic or sexual attraction to only one gender, but in kertbendy's pamphlets his view of the word "monosexual" meant people who only masturbate.

The first definition of asexuality was in Germany in 1897 when a German sexual reformist called Emma Trosse in which she mentioned asexuality as well as same sex attractions in her work trying to get the state to get their rights instead of disagreeing with those people.

A photograph where asexuality was mentioned was during the 1970s San Francisco Gay freedom Day Parade and Festival in the photo (which was taken by Crawford Barton in 1973) it is two people holding a sign which says "Gay, Straight, Bisexual, Asexual: All God's Children Need Love."

Then in 2001 David Jay founded Aven which was a organization for asexuals from everywhere in the world. They wanted to create a safe space for asexuals and for the people who wanted to understand or ask questions about asexuals. This was one of their aims to get the acceptance from non-asexuals and to create a safe place for asexuals.

But this was only a small amount of history I quickly went through, there is so much history on asexuality that I could go through if people wanted to hear about it. So tell me if you would like more history on asexuality!

Have a good day!

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#asexuality #asexual #asexual struggles #pride #ace pride #ace problems #blogging #pride stuff #mental health struggles #heartstopper #asexual rights #asexual representation

[maxxsio18]

The Ace Spectrum

Not every asexual is the same, the ace spectrum is a way to see that all Aces aren't the same. All asexuals have different views, some might want love, some might want a family whilst some might not want any of that. This is why asexuality is on a spectrum as there are so many different types of asexual people. Let's have a look at the asexual spectrum from sex-negative to sex-positive.

Sex-negative asexuals don't believe that sex is wrong but in fact just feel uncomfortable, put off or disgusted with the idea of sex.

Sex-neutral asexuals, are in the middle of the spectrum where they don't have any negative or positive feelings about sex.

Sex-positive asexuals, may choose to have sex due to many reasons so being, it can seem healthy for their life, for pleasure, to start a family. There are many other reasons to add, but they won't experience sexual attraction whilst being sex-positive.

But as this is a spectrum every asexual isn't going to just be either one or the other they could be inbetween sex-negative and sex-neutral. There is many different places that asexuals can put themselves on the spectrum and where they feel is more comfortable for them on the ace spectrum.

Have a good day!

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#asexuality #asexual #asexual struggles #pride #ace pride #ace problems #blogging #pride stuff #mental health struggles #heartstopper

[maxxsio18]

"Just a phase"

One of the most hateful phrase against being an asexual is "It's just a phase", this can be hurtful to anybody within the LGBTQ+ and by so many people getting this phrase thrown at them as soon as it comes out, it can affect them. It's showing you that the person you're coming out to is not believing that this is you, that your making it up and just having a moment, but you know yourself best and you know that it's not a phase.

I feel mostly it is an age phrase where someone believes you are too young to deicide, which to some extent sexuality is fluid, it may change when you're growing up as you're trying out new things, but when this phase is said more towards when people have figured out their sexuality that's when it hurts.

It's probably why I haven't came out yet, I've came out to friends, but I haven't came out to anyone in my family because either I think they won't understand it or they will say "It's just a phase" because I haven't had a partner. I feel like it would be less of an age thing because I knew I was ace when I was 15 and I've grown up and that hasn't changed, but because I've never had a partner I feel like the phrase would be thrown in as I've never experience what it is like to have a partner.

Just wish that there was more accepting people out there within our family and friend groups, and if you're out and got accepted, I'm happy for you all! But if people didn't get accepted, you're always be accepted here in our safe space in the corner of Tumblr on this page. Also just know my Dms are always open for anyone, if you just want to chat, if you need some advice, or if you just want to share your story, I'll always respond... unless I'm sleeping, sorry I value my sleep.

Anyways, hope you all are having a lovely day, and remember if you ever need a chat, I'm here!

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#asexuality #asexual #asexual struggles #pride #ace pride #ace problems #blogging #pride stuff #mental health struggles

[maxxsio18]

Georgia Warr

Let's talk about an Aromantic Asexual character from the book called Loveless written by Alice Oseman.

Georgia is just about to go to university, during this transitioning she realised that she hasn't actually kissed anyone or has done any teenager things that a "normal" teenager would do. So during Uni she wants to try and fall in love, expect throughout this time she soon realises that she is aroace when she tries to force a love on her friend called Jason.

Georgia at first feels a bit of hate towards herself being aroace as she has planned her whole life to be like a romantic book yet later discovers it wouldn't go to the way she plans.

In the book Georgia quotes "I had spent my whole life believing that romantic love was waiting for me. That one day I'd find it and I would be totally, finally happy. But now I had to accept that it would never happen. None of it. No romance. No marriage. No sex..."

This book was an amazing read to discover Georgia finding out about herself whilst going to university, and it shows her finally accepting the fact that she is aroace and it is heartwarming to read. I recommend Loveless by Alice Oseman because it just shows that not everyone has a great time realising who they are, but they can soon realise how to accept themselves, even if it's not the way they planned their life to turn out.

Have a great week, and have you read this book? Or are you going to?

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#asexuality #asexual #asexual struggles #pride #ace pride #ace problems #blogging #pride stuff #mental health struggles #heartstopper #loveless #alice oseman #lovelessbook

[maxxsio18]

Asexual TikTok

I was scrolling away on TikTok just escaping my mind, and then an asexual video popped up, so I had a watch of it. 

It first spoke about a report saying how 75% of asexuals aren't open with family or friends because of the lack of understanding and medical history around being asexual. 

The lack of understanding about asexual is huge, I mean, just from this video, I managed to merge all the hate comments into one. 

Just a warning ⚠️ Ace phobia ⚠️ 

There's a lot of "you need therapy" comments, showing that most people think asexauls aren't stable human beings. I don't see why sexual attraction has to be such a huge part of being a human? Like some of these people, they probably only see asexual as not having sex, when that's incorrect as every asexual is different. 

It just annoys me how much hate there is to asexuals on TikTok and the lack of education about asexuals.

Anyways I hope you all have a good week. It's almost Christmas!

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 🖤🩶🤍💜

#asexuality #asexual #asexual struggles #pride #ace pride #ace problems #blogging #pride stuff #mental health struggles

[maxxsio18]

Ace Ring

When a black ring is worn on someone's right middle finger it is often showing they are identifying as someone on the asexual spectrum.

Ace rings don't always have to be fully black they can have spots of other colours and it doesn't have to be a plain ring it can have any design that you want.

Many people in the world/outside of the asexual community wouldn't know what an ace ring would me unless asked, so it is a way for other aces to identify each other in the world.

The idea of having an ace ring in the asexual community started on AVEN in 2005 and was a common symbol for asexuals.

I have four different aces rings, all are black but they all have different designs. My first ace ring I ever got was last year in 2022, this was my first ring that I ever got so I was a bit confused on ring sizes, but lucky it was a ring in the shape of a set of wings which I could easily adjust to my ring size.

The next ring I got was a pirate skull with bones as the ring, this one is cool because it has purple jewels in the eyes which purple is in the asexual flag and just fits in well.

Then the next two I got was more plain black but was design as a snake and a feather which they both look great!

Do you have a ace ring? What does yours look like if you do have one, I'm interested to know all the unique designs there are!

Have a good day all!

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🖤🩶🤍💜

#asexuality #asexual #asexual struggles #pride #ace pride #ace problems #blogging #pride stuff #ace speaks #ace price #ace space #acespec #ace ring #asexual representation #asexual rights

[maxxsio18]

Issac Henderson

Let's talk about an AroAce character from the series Heartstopper. Issac Henderson is played by Tobie Donovan, and is around the age of 15-16 in Heartstopper.

In the first season of Heartstopper we don't get much information about Issac, but we can tell he's a shy character who loves reading. However, in season two we start to learn more about Issac as he starts to discover his AroAce self, although in the series isn't not confirmed as of yet.

But during the series he starts to read more upon asexuality and it's just amazing to see that asexuals and aromantics are getting screen time to educated more people who are unaware of these terms.

Have you seen Heartstopper yet? What do you think about Issac's character? Is he your favourite character? Tell me what you think!

Have a good day!

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#asexuality #asexual #asexual struggles #pride #ace pride #ace problems #blogging #pride stuff #heartstopper #issac henderson #issac heartstopper #heartstopper series #heartstopper s2 #heartstopper show #heartstopper s1

[maxxsio18]

Aled Last

Let's speak about Aled Last in the book Radio Silence by Alice Oseman. In Radio Silence Aled is 17-18 and is portrayed as a quiet character who keeps themself to themself, being an introvert.

The books main focus is about Aled's podcast where he speaks about a character called Radio. There is a lot of twists and turns in this book where there are some great moments and some upsetting moments as well.

Towards the end of the book Aled is talking to Daniel, his best friend who has some benefits, in this moment Aled says " Asexuality means, uhm, someone who doesn't feel like sexually attracted to anyone... And some people just feel like they're like partly asexual so, they only feel sexually attracted to people they know really really well, people they have like an emotional connection with... some people call it demi-sexual"

Just having a book to represent an demi-sexual character is amazing as I feel like there is always a lack of characters that are Demi-Sexual.

But on a whole I loved this book, it was a great story, I cried and smiled whilst reading it, and I'm not much of a book person, but I recommend this book very much!

If you've read it tell me your thoughts, or if you are going to read it!

Have a good week!

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🖤🩶🤍💜

#asexuality #asexual #asexual struggles #pride #ace pride #ace problems #blogging #pride stuff #heartstopper #aled last #radio silence

[maxxsio18]

The asexual flag colours

The asexual flag has four colours, which is black, grey, white and purple, these four colours each have their own meaning.

Black represents asexuality

Grey represents Grey-Asexuality and Demi-sexual

White represents allies and non asexual partners

Purple represents the community.

A quick small post today, but it's always nice to understand why the colours was chosen for the Asexual flag!

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#asexuality #asexual #asexual struggles #pride #ace pride #ace problems #blogging #pride stuff

[maxxsio18]

History on the Asexual flag

The ace flag is only 13 years old! It was made in 2010, but what was the flag like before that?

There was many symbols Asexuals had to show themselves as ace before the flag, for example the ace on playing. cards. The AVEN traingle was a sort of flag which isn't used today as it doesn't accurately represent all ace identities, but it uses the three colours, this being black, grey and white which is now used in the asexual flag today.

However in 2010 two AVEN users created the asexual flag we use and see today. It was chosen by three poll stages and won it.

People loved the design both online and in the real world. Both demi-sexual and grey-asexual flags uses the colours on the asexual flag. There isn't much history on who or when these flags was created just that they use the ace flag colours.

But that's the history of the asexual flag! I was surprised on how new the design was for the flag, I just thought it has been around for ages but apparently not.

Anyways hope you liked learning a bit about the Asexual flag, hope you all are having a good day.

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#asexuality #asexual #asexual struggles #pride #ace pride #ace problems #blogging #pride stuff

[maxxsio18]

People vs Asexuality

Imagine the person who blamed your asexuality for messing up our friendship, they said they don't want to speak to you again. Want to just delete you like a save file on a video game. But then imagine, you're scrolling on social media, their story pops up, you then see that they posted all the stuff you gave them for their birthday over the seven years of knowing them telling their viewers how much they missed you.

When I saw this I wanted to shout, punch a few walls, I wanted to do something just to get rid of that annoyance because I hated the fact that they made their social media viewers feel sorry for them because of something they did.

It's not my fault I'm asexual, and even though I am aseuxal why should it bother another person? Why did they blame me coming out for ruining our friendship? It just never made sense to me.

Just seeing the old birthday cards on their story made me feel annoyed. They said they wanted to have nothing to do with me because when I came out as Ace, I apparently "changed".

Was I more comfortable with myself?

Yes

Was I different in any way physically or mentally?

No, maybe more happier due to being out and everyone knowing, but no I wasn't different.

Does it give them the rights to say You ruined our friendship because you're Ace?

No, nobody has the rights to say that About anyone.

This person has been nothing but a pain to me, when I think they left they come crawling back saying they miss me, but I just can't handle it anymore. I've blocked them on pretty much everything, expect from one social media which I hardly use so it's pointless just getting rid of them on their when I don't use it anyway.

But hey that's my week off to a great start, can't wait to see what the rest of the week holds for me.

Have a good one!

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#asexuality #asexual #asexual struggles #pride #ace pride #ace problems #blogging #pride stuff #mental health struggles

[maxxsio18]

Grief

How do you explain grief to someone who hasn't experience a lost of someone they love.

Well grief is different to everyone, nobody is ever going to experience the same grief someone else has. Some people hide their emotions while others share them.

I can only share my stories about grief because everyone's story is different. For me grief is hard, it is for everyone, but sometimes I just want to lock myself away yet I couldn't because if I did my parents would have questioned why and I never told them my feelings during that stage of my life. So I got myself up, I might have got out of bed around 2 in the afternoon, but I got up and moved straight to the sofa. When I say I did nothing, I mean I did nothing, I was in such a state I couldn't do anything, I couldn't even feel any joy. But that was back in 2016, I'm sure I can deal with grief easier now?

The thing is no matter who you're grieving over that pain is still going to be there no matter what. But I must admit I'm better at sharing my emotions with others now, whereas before I didn't talk to anyone, I probably share way to much now. There's still a few people I won't talk to as much as others, but I have those few people who I can just dump my emotions and just clear my head for a few hours.

I hope you all have someone to chat to, and if not my messages are always open. 💕

Have a good week.

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#mentalheathawareness #mental health struggles #mental health stuff #mental health #grieving #grief #dealing with grief