maybe iâll try talking some more now, but itâs almost as if i am being too loud.
scaramouche x fem!reader
warnings: suicidal thoughts, very very self indulgent, reader is chubby/plus size, eating disorder, depression, bullying, sh and probably other warning worthy things :( if you are sensitive about this kind of topics please donât read!
you lay back on your seat in the school bus, listening to some songs. you didnât want this road that you watch to end, you didnât want to go to school.
high school was brutal. it was like hell, especially for people like you. ugly and obese, not funny and smartâŠ
while you were drowning in your thoughts, the bus stopped and everyone started to get out one by one.
you sighed, another day to survive without killing myself.
when you get off the bus, you tried to hide your face with your hair.
again, i am looking down.
âisnât that our lovely y/n?â you heard a boy say.
âI thought you would change at summer but you still look like a fucking whale!â
âcâmon guys, stop!â one of the girls between them said while trying not to laugh.
âyou are too nice, nana, you should be more strict with those kind of creatures.â
âyeah, they need to be tames so they donât cross their lines.â they said while laughing and pointing at you. your eyes were watery and hands were shaky. you tried not to snap. you knew what could happen if you do.
âlook at her, she is trying so hard!â
you looked down, again. grabbing your long and baggy sweatshirt tightly, again. you started to walk faster and went to your class.
5 more minutes.
âdid you see the new series?â
âyes, i saw it! it was so good i canât wait for the new episode!â
4 more minutes.
âeveryone, go sit at your desks. teacher will be here in a few minutes!â
3 more minutes.
âare you new?â
âno, she was here last year but she never talks, normal for you to forget.â
2 more minutes.
âi hate the two person desks, like why would i want to share it with someone?â
1 more minutes.
âi heard someone new will attend our class!â
âis it a boy?â
âi donât know but if it is, i hope he is handsome!â
and the class starts.
âfriends, we have a new student!â your teacher said and pointed at the boy. âintroduce yourself to your new classmates.â
âraiden scaramouche.â he said with a blank expression.
âhe is so handsome!â
âhis eyes are so pretty!â
they are at it again, you thought.
âi-is that all?â the teacher asked in disbelief.
âyeah, i donât need them to know more about me.â
âo-okayâŠthen sit somewhere you like.â she said and cleared her throat.
you were looking outside from the window, too into it that you didnât even notice he sat beside you.
âdid he really sit next to her?â you heard them whisper.
you looked at him for a moment. but the few seconds you looked into his eyes, it was like eternity. his eyes were purple like his hair.
he is really handsome, you thought.
âwhat are you looking at?â he asked, not even looking at your side.
ân-nothingâŠâ you mumbled and turned your head to the window again.
after a long lesson, the bell ringed. you stood up quickly and left the classroom and went to the bathroom. you went into the last cabinet. sat down onto the toilet cover. you crunched your nose with disgust, it was were you really belong to.
you sat down there for the whole break and didnât even think anything while staring at the ceiling.
the bell ringed again. ah, itâs p.e, i guess i will be here for a bit longer.
after the class ended you quietly went back to the classroom, trying not to get attention and go to the principals office for not attending the classes.
you walked to your desk and opened your book. it was a pretty book which was about a writer who lost her memories.
i wish i lost mine tooâŠ
âyou werenât there.â a voice said.
âhm?â you looked up and tried to process it because no one ever talked to you at school out of nowhere.
âat class, you werenât there.â it was the purple eyed boy. what was his name? raiden?
âyeah,â you said and tried to wrap the conversation up.
âwhy?â but he didnât let it go.
âwhat âwhyâ?â
âplaying dumb, arenât we?â
âi just donât understand the question.â
âhuh,â he sighed. âwhy are they acting like you murmured their family?â
âbecause i did.â
âhuh?â
âsorry,â you muttered and played with your fingers. âi was trying to make a joke.â
âand it was funny.â he said.
âwell,â you said. âyou donât seem like you laughed.â
âdo i look like i am someone who laughs like a idiot?â
ânot really,â
âexactly. soâŠwhy?â
âwhy are you curious?â you asked suspiciously.
âi was just wondering, you are the only person in this class that doesnât seem dumb.â
âiâd like to be, to be honest.â you sighed.
âhey, scara!â one of the girls came to your desk to talk with few of her friends. you cringed at the nickname.
âwhat?â scaramouche said.
âohh, come on, donât be so cold!â she said and put her hand over his shoulder and leaned onto him.
âdonât come close to me.â
âyou are so funny!â
âno, i am not, and i have a girlfriend.â
âyou are lying!â the girl said out of embarrassment.
âno i am not, and she is here.â he said and pointed at you.
âhuh!? her? out of everyone?â she asked in disbelief.
âyeah, is there a problem?â
âwell, she is a fucking ugly, duh.â
ânot uglier than you.â he said with a smirk.
âh-how dare you!?â she squeaked.
âand donât you have a boyfriend? he looks like he is angry.â he said and looked behind her.
âb-baby! i can explain!â she said and ran behind him.
âwhy the hell did you said that?â you asked for an explanation.
âsaid what?â he answered like he was innocent.
âwhy did you say i was your girlfriend!?â
âshe didnât leave my side since morning and she tried to shove her tits onto my face on p.e.â
âthat doesnât explain why!â you protested.
âhuh,â he scoffed. âbecause they will let me breathe and they wonât be making fun of you, win-win situation if you ask.â
âyou could at least ask me, you know.â
âyeah, sorry bout that.â he said shrugged his shoulders.
days and days passed after that conversation and you both didnât talk since then. it was like it didnât even happen. while thinking about it. you were reading on your desk while everyone else was eating their meals with their friends. you just looked and looked with your hungry stomach. it was hard to resist, it really was. so you decided to eat something.
after buying some snacks, you came back to the class.
âare you eating again, little whale?â it was him, again. âmaybe you should hold your throat.â
maybe i should, you thought.
âhahaha,â you heard someone laugh before recognising the owner. scaramouche.
it was the limitâŠyou started to cry. you stood up and ran away to the schools rooftop, which was closed to the students.
you cried and cried. you threw up all the things you ate and didnât left anything in your stomach. the taste was disgusting.
and then you cried again.
i canât bear anymore of thisâŠmaybe i shouldnât eat anything. maybe then people will love meâŠ.maybe.
that day you stayed at the roof until everyone left. you get back to the classroom and pick up your bag.
you put your earphones on, cutting your bond with the world.
you walked home alone.
while laying down on your bed, you ignored your moms calls that says you should come and eat dinner.
the day after when you go to school, you felt everyones eyes on your back.
you hide from people and didnât ate anything that day. and the day after. and the day after.
you started to lose weight quickly. your weight went down every single day until you couldnât walk anymore because of hunger.
itâs for the best.
itâsâŠforâŠtheâŠbestâŠ.
you opened your eyes at the emergency room of the school, someone was holding your hand.
it was scaramouche.
you tried to pull your hand from his grasp but you failed. you felt the cold medicine running down through your veins.
âdo you remember what happened?â the doctor asked.
ânoâŠâ you said with a raspy voice.
âit looks like your body was tired. did you overworked?â
âno. i didnâtâŠâ you cleared your throat.
âthen you didnât eat for a long time?â
you couldnât say anything, you were scared that they would make fun of you for trying to be pretty.
âhow many days since you last ate?â
âi thinkâŠit was 5 days agoâŠâ
âoh myâŠâ the nurse behind you, that you didnât notice, said with pity.
âi will give you some vitamins and call your parents. they should bring you to hospital for better treatment.â
âokayâŠthank you.â
when the nurse and the doctor left the room, you were left alone with scaramouche.
âwhy are you doing this to yourself?â he asked.
âyou wonât understand.â you answered.
âhow do you know?â
because you were never ugly! you wanted to scream, but stayed silent.
you stayed silent, again.
like you always do.
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KIRAâS MASTERLIST
pottery date with your boyfriend scaramouche x reader
MEN WHO WOULD⊠various characters
growing up with scaramouche
the middle of an adventure is such a perfect place to start. scaramouche x reader
instagram stories of boyfriend! scaramouche pt. 1 & 2
stop the world cause i wanna get off with you, scara.
i wish this moment would last forever. various characters.
you remind me of black cats, scara.
ice skating with pro skater!scaramouche
little daily vlogs from boyfriend!scaramouche
everyone were looking at your overly handsome husband, various characters.
only if you apply it with your lips, scara.
he answered, still half asleep, scara.
it shouldâve been a small relaxing session, scara.
arenât you weirded out by a boy who crochets like a grandma, scara.
i know how you feel, scara.
tsundere scara.
no, we wonât have another child, scara.
i donât even want nail polish! various characters.
artist!scara
ây/n i swear to god-â scaramouche.
until they see him. various characters
even satan used to be an angel. various characters
bf!scaramouche
classmate!scara
voicemails from him. scaramouche.
attractive things that crush!scara does. scaramouche.
a little tour in scara and y/nâs camera roll.
your boyfriend thinks you are just insecure. various characters.
boyfriend!kazuha.
rockstar!ajax and rockstar!scara.
anti romantic bff!scara
idol!scara x fem!idol!reader
grumpy classmate!scaramouche
bff!xiao
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art @ oyunoinu
you took glances at him while walking with your boyfriend. he was cute. his nose and cheeks were red because of cold, his long and black scarf wrapped around his neck and covering his mouth.
âwhat are you looking at?â he said, you felt the grin even though you couldnât see his lips.
âyou look cute.â you said without hesitation, voice cracking and shivering because of the cold.
âare you cold?â he asked and ignored your compliment.
âkind ofâŠâ you said while rubbing your hands together.
âcome here,â he reached for your hand and pulled you closer.
you two were extremely close and you couldnât hide the extra warmth on your cheeks and ears.
he unwrapped the scarf and put one side on your shoulders and then the other one to his.
you couldnât say anything because of the embarrassment, he couldnât say anything because he was scared to ruin the moment he was craving for his life.
you two walked in snow slowly and quietly with your shoulders and hands on one another.
you both thought the same thing,
i wish this moment would last forever.
scaramouche/wanderer, xiao (genshin impact), kyo sohma (fruits basket), megumi (jjk), kageyama, suna, kenma (hq), eren (aot), chuuya, akutagawa (bsd), mikey, kazutora, chifuyu, baji (tr), +any of your faves!!
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