nemosopenletters-blog

[nemosopenletters-blog]

And do you know what it's like to have your trauma be THE trauma you can *never* speak on? Because others may feel "uncomfortable"? As if it should be a topic anyone finds comfortable. Imagine how uncomfortable I was living in it.

i cannot possibly overstate the psychological damage of growing up being abused in a way that is considered so disgusting as to be literally unspeakable and treated as such.

[nemosopenletters-blog]

𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫

[nemosopenletters-blog]

It finally clicked in my brain, that the reason you don't treat me like you treat others in your life, is because you love the others in your life. You love having them in your life. I've simply become the obligation you can't untangle yourself from.

#actually bpd #borderline personality disorder #being borderline #borderline blog #black and white #living with borderline #borderline personality traits #bpd life #borderline things #bpd shit #bpd splitting #bpd awareness #bpd stuff #bpd vent #bpd blog #bpd favorite person #bpd feels #bpd fp #bpd mood #bpd problems #bpd rage #bpd tag #bpd thoughts #bpd safe #bpd #borderline pd #borderline thoughts #actually borderline #borderline problems #borderline

[nemosopenletters-blog]

[nemosopenletters-blog]

You only realize you've been treated poorly your whole life when someone doing something simple to help you out without asking immediately flusters you so badly you can barely look them in the eye or speak

[nemosopenletters-blog]

Goddammit why is killing yourself so hard to do? Why the hesitation... it should be so much easier to let go

#actually bpd #borderline personality disorder #being borderline #borderline blog #black and white #bpd shit #living with borderline #borderline personality traits #bpd life #borderline things #bpd splitting #bpd awareness #bpd stuff #bpd thoughts #bpd blog #bpd favorite person #bpd feels #bpd fp #bpd mood #bpd problems #bpd rage #bpd tag #bpd vent #bpd safe #bpd #borderline pd #borderline thoughts #actually borderline #borderline problems #borderline

[nemosopenletters-blog]

when I was in high school my dad was speeding like crazy because I was running late to my job at the cemetery. and the cop who pulled him over gave him three whole tickets because who the hell goes 95 in a 25??? but then, when my dad went to court the cop didn’t show, and so the judge looked over at the charges and just couldn’t believe it. he thought the cop must’ve been so racist that he made it up because who the hell goes 95 in a 25? so my dad got all 3 tickets dismissed bc of racism. that he didn’t even experience because he was in fact going 95 in a 25.

[nemosopenletters-blog]

“When I think about you in huge doses, I drown in despair, in longing, in guilt. I learned to think of you in tiny rations like meals delivered to my plate, three times a day. Each time enough to nourish me, to make me hope, to keep my heart alive.”

— Dawn Lanuza

[nemosopenletters-blog]

Imagine how much information about you the people you love miss out on too, when you aren't yourself. Also how unfair it actually is to assume people don't want to hear about it because of the damage caused by others. Let them know you. Let them.

drew a constant mood on the mind

[nemosopenletters-blog]

And when you don't find me in them, you'll celebrate. ���️

“You will search for me in another person, I promise.”

— Unknown

[nemosopenletters-blog]

[nemosopenletters-blog]

“Never allow loneliness to drive you into the arms of someone you know you don’t belong with.”

— Unknown

[nemosopenletters-blog]

He used to kiss them. Now he thinks I'm ugly and disgusting.

“And love is when someone who even knows your scars, stays to kiss them.”

— Benjamin Griss

#bpd meme #bpd awareness #bpd stuff #bpd #actually bpd #bpd blog #bpd favorite person #bpd feels #bpd fp #bpd life #bpd mood #bpd problems #bpd rage #bpd shit #bpd splitting #bpd thoughts #bpd vent #bpd tag #borderline personality traits #borderline thoughts #being borderline #borderline personality disorder #actually borderline #borderline blog #borderline pd #borderline problems #borderline splitting #borderline #borderline things #living with borderline

[nemosopenletters-blog]

I miss when you were my best friend and I was your equal.

#actually bpd #borderline personality disorder #being borderline #borderline blog #black and white #bpd shit #living with borderline #borderline personality traits #bpd life #borderline things #bpd awareness #bpd stuff #bpd #bpd blog #bpd favorite person #bpd feels #bpd fp #bpd mood #bpd problems #bpd rage #bpd splitting #bpd tag #bpd thoughts #bpd vent #bpd support #bpd meme #borderline thoughts #borderline pd #actually borderline #borderline problems

[nemosopenletters-blog]

If you could turn back time, would you still choose me? After all we've been through, and all we've become, would you still choose me? If you could go back in time, and could choose me forever, to try again... or choose to forget me entirely... would you choose obliviation?

#actually bpd #borderline personality disorder #being borderline #borderline blog #black and white #bpd shit #living with borderline #borderline personality traits #bpd life #borderline things #bpd awareness #bpd stuff #bpd #bpd blog #bpd favorite person #bpd feels #actually borderline #bpd fp #bpd splitting #bpd mood #borderline thoughts #bpd problems #bpd tag #bpd thoughts #bpd meme #bpd vent #borderline pd #borderline problems #borderline splitting #borderline

[nemosopenletters-blog]

I'm always so lonely with you.

#actually bpd #borderline personality disorder #being borderline #black and white #borderline blog #bpd shit #living with borderline #borderline personality traits #bpd life #borderline things #bpd splitting #bpd awareness #bpd stuff #bpd #bpd blog #bpd favorite person #bpd feels #bpd fp #bpd mood #bpd problems #bpd tag #bpd thoughts #bpd vent #borderline pd #borderline thoughts #actually borderline #borderline problems #borderline splitting #quiet borderline #borderline

[nemosopenletters-blog]

Some friendly reminders to...

Take your medication if you haven't already.

Drink a glass or two of water.

Release the pressure in your jaw. It has to be hurting by now.

Refill your pets' water/food bowls, clean out their litter, etc.

Check for upcoming appointments. I forget about mine far too often.

Take a shower if you're having sensory issues but can't figure out why. Sometimes that's all you need to get rid of those bad feelings.

Put on that load of washing that's been piling up for days. It's only going to feel more overwhelming the more you let it pile up.

Same goes for the dishes you've got sitting around the place!

Take a nap if you're feeling tired. It's better (and more productive!) to rest for an hour or two and be able to function for the rest of the day than to spend the entire day unable to do anything because you're too tired.

Show some appreciation to someone you're close to. Tell them you love them, give them a hug or just go sit with them for a while to let them know you're there.

Put that important thing in a safe space. Don't leave it where it is currently sitting because you think you'll remember where it is. You'll kick yourself for it if you do.

Go fiddle with some stuff that you haven't touched in a while. Grab that board game out and just read the rules, take a look at that book you've been meaning to read for months, or just. sit with a belonging that's not familiar to you. Maybe you'll find something that you quite enjoy.

move that fragile object from the side of the surface. IT IS NOT SAFE THERE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE CATS.

Take a two minute walk. You could even just step outside the front door and count three things you see. Fresh air is good (but i completely understand not wanting to, i've been procrastinating too)

Do something with that meal that's about to expire in the fridge. Eat it, toss it, whatever. Just don't let it sit there until it's moldy or you'll be even less inclined to do something about it.

Book an appointment if you're concerned about something that's appeared or changed about yourself, physically or mentally. I know it often feels like we're overreacting, and maybe we are, but it's worth it even just to put your mind at ease.

If you've got a streak of some kind going, remember to do that before it expires.

Happy living 💞