ourdidspace

[ourdidspace]

So a lot of our social alters have been struggling with severe social anxiety, or are just straight up dormant/we have no idea where they are. And a lot of the alters in charge of planning and keeping us functional have also gone MIA most days, unless there's something really big happening.

Our strongest persecutors are hanging in the front room more often and commenting on everything, one in particular says truly awful stuff about others and makes us feel terrible. We've really lost control of our headspace

[ourdidspace]

tag the headmate who likes to drink tea

#Charlotte #100%

[ourdidspace]

I'm not ok, and I don't know if being able to keep a level head makes me more or less ok. But I don't have an identity at all, and it's really hit me recently because for the first time we are in such a safe space with a large and accepting group of friends.

Friends who can look at their phone and see what they were doing and how much they've changed since they were 14, and friends who have so many detailed memories and stories about their own lives. Friends who have struggled, rebelled, built themselves from nothing and found what makes them happy.

I was hit with the realisation that I don't have that. I wasn't the host until 2018, but we didn't know I existed until 2021. Almost my entire life has been coping and masking, the other alters stepped in constantly and masked too but once we found out about the system they were able to stop. I don't know anything else, the only memories I have are shared ones or from after 2022. I turn 21 next month and have less than 2 years of memories.

On top of that, my family sees me so differently to our friends. I stop masking around friends now and just end up constantly dissociating. But my family still see me as the same little girl I always was, even though I'm a boy who can't even look at himself in the mirror.

#tw vent

[ourdidspace]

Sometimes part of healing is recognising that there's nothing wrong with a certain action or behaviour. It's so easy for people with a mountain of diagnosis and labels to feel like we need to explain and justify every action we do, especially if it isn't something we see others doing.

Things we do to cope or behaviours that might be considered weird and cringe might have very obvious psychological roots and purposes, but if it doesn't hurt anyone it doesn't matter. We don't have to justify the way we organise our pantry, or the way we learn new songs, because these are things for us.

We're allowed to live without being ashamed, and we're allowed to live without feeling the need to justify everything with a diagnosis. We are just people.

#dissociative identity disorder #mental health #mentalheathawareness #alters #did system

[ourdidspace]

First off, I completely agree with everything these people have said. When young people are questioning their identity they have the right to be respected and change their minds as many times. Identity is fluid and while some people can figure themselves out quickly, other people might be questioning for years or just decide not to use labels entirely.

What I want to add is that it's damaging to push people into labels before they're ready, regardless of what that label is. My youngest sister was a child when my older siblings started questioning and loudly celebrating their own sexualities. Because my little sister was a child, when they asked how she felt about boys and girls she said she wasn't interested in either and she felt pressured to take on the label aroace. Now she's grown up and is struggling with her bisexuality.

Obviously, as if it needs to be said, aroace or any gender/sexuality is not the issue. But if we're talking about children and young people figuring out their own identities, we need to be aware of what makes kids vulnerable. It's important to know where they are in their mental development and if any issues are going on for them

Unpopular (?) opinion:

When I was young and wondering why I hadn't experienced a crush yet, the internet said I was probably just a late bloomer. They urged me not to identify as aroace because I could change my mind later on.

And looking back, like… so?

If I had been a late bloomer, who cares?

I was 13. I felt comfort in the aroace community. I didn’t feel like a weirdo for once in my life, surrounded by people who were like me. But I was urged to not join these communities until I became an adult in case I changed my mind about being ace. So I didn’t. And I paid for that.

Who cares? If you’re young and feel like you’re aroace, then you’re aroace. If you “change your mind” later, it’s okay. No one is going to be born and know themselves 100%. I genuinely thought I was alloromantic once, but now know I’m not.

Speaking from experience, I would rather have kids be “wrong” about their sexuality than feel like they have no place of belonging.

We shouldn’t gatekeep aroace folk because of their age. It hurts. It makes kids feel like they are the freaks society tells them they are.

[ourdidspace]

source

[ourdidspace]

The worst part about art advice is when people say "trust the process" without actually explaining what that means. The process isn't real!!!

There are guides and general steps and techniques to take but because art is individual, every artist's process will be different. For professional artists, their process is easy to trust because they've spent so long mastering it, they know what they're looking for next and what to tackle first.

Trusting the process for beginners and amateurs doesn't mean to follow along and whatever you make will be amazing, it means that you have to choose when to be patient and when to be bold with your art. Trust the process means that if it looks like shit, you learnt what works for you and what doesn't.

#ffs I'm autistic #art #rant post #personal rant #the process sucks ass #you can't trust it until you tame the wild beast

[ourdidspace]

Hey, does anyone have advice on dating as someone in a system?? Everything I see is advice for the other person who is dating an alter in a system, but I've never seen anything that really applies to my situation.

I started dating my partner and we made it official relatively recently. They suspect they have a type of osdd or something but there's a lot going on that it's not the time to figure it out. They're one of our whole system's closest friends and we literally just finished getting a house and moving in with them.

The issue is I am a sexual alter with a lot of trauma and I don't come out very often, and I feel like shit for it. They're always really understanding and supportive but I feel like I'm not around enough, and I'm embarrassed to admit but I'm shy. I find it hard to make the first move when I do come out because I'm convinced that they won't want to talk to me, even though I know it's not true.

I just really need some advice on getting myself used to being in a relationship. My partner means the world to me and I want to be able to show how much I love them

#did system #alters #dissociative identity disorder #relationship advice #small rant #please help

[ourdidspace]

reblog to give the prev a hot chocolate with (optional) whipped cream and marshmallows

[ourdidspace]

The wildest part about being a system and having known you are a system for a while (6+ years for us) HAS to be seeing people who are just figuring it out fall into holes that you've long left behind.

Like. Yeah. We also thought we needed to keep tabs on everyone to increase communication. In the end it became too unwieldy. Especially since DID evolves with what you experience all the time.

Microlabels are cool and I fully support anyone who uses them, but figuring out what to call every single structure in your system isn't for us anymore.

Another thing we notice is people who try their best to know who is fronting at all given times. A lot of that comes naturally to us nowadays, but it's also... OK not to know. Especially if you're not focusing on anything system related at the time.

I guess a lot of this boils down to, it's okay not to care. It's okay to go with the flow of things and figure out at your own pace. Identity is fluid, especially if you have a dissociative disorder. You don't HAVE to have everything figured out 100% of the time.

It's okay to take it slow. It's okay to not know. It's okay to just exist for a bit. It's okay to live and experience things beyond being a system.

To all the people who are just starting to comprehend this. You do not need to know and label exactly what is happening in your head all the time. Fuck, we sure don't. And we're happier for it.

It's okay to just be you.

[ourdidspace]

types of dissociation:

existing but a little to the left

am i crossing my eyes or is everything just blurry?

clipped right thru the floorboards

what the fuck is a “body”

i have too many bodies at once and they’re trying to start a fight club. how many arms are humans supposed to have again?

floam

sounds fake but ok

pick two: harsh noise, dial up tone, cantina theme [10 hour version]

360 no scope

the atmosphere is lighting me on fire very, very slowly.

someone: “wow! you handled that stressful situation so well! so cool and competent!” me, unaware that anything happened: “i what now”

*forgets to breathe for 5 hours*

feel free 2 add ur own

[ourdidspace]

Motherfuckers.

[ourdidspace]

Does anyone else have weird or specific biases because of people in the headspace?? Like, we don't know many lesbians, but because of the ones in our system we honestly believe that all lesbians hold grudges.

#did system #alters #dissociative identity disorder #lesbians

[ourdidspace]

Good news!! Our gatekeeper made dinner and he's a great cook!

Bad news!!! He used fresh chilli in it and none of us knew about it

Nightmare news!!!! Because we didn't know he used fresh chilli we ended up touching our face and had a hot shower and our soap has interacted with the chilli on our hands and it's fucking BURNING

#did system #dissociative identity disorder #pls help #it burns #ben i love you but never ever again

[ourdidspace]

Overhead in our head

A: It's called ✨✨self care ✨✨

B: bitch that's depression

#did system #dissociative identity disorder #alters

[ourdidspace]

We're going to hopefully get an official diagnosis in a few weeks, and we're excited but also so stressed. We need the diagnosis so we can get the right supports, but we have no idea what those supports are anymore. It feels so isolating because even when people accept us, no one understands that everything is a struggle.

We saw our doctor last week for the referral, and she wrote that we've been doing amazing and have really adjusted to life, but it's not true. Everything is a struggle, it has been for years. We're the most stable we've been with our mental health since we found out about the system, but everything is still hard. The things we need help with, the things we know will help, it isn't likely we'll get them.

The hardest part is explaining why things are hard. We're behind on our study, but there isn't a clear reason why. We look lazy to singlets, or we look completely fine and functioning. They will never know how hard it is to simply exist

#did system #alters #vent post #dissociative identity disorder

[ourdidspace]

Omfg yes!! We've had so many conversations with other systems about one persecutor in particular. We tell them that they can't talk to her right now because she's defensive and in attack mode. We try to explain that she becomes extremely manipulative and directly targets sensitive areas.

EVERY TIME they tell us that they want to talk to her, they take her as a challenge and ignore that there's something triggering/threatening for her. They think they can annoy her into submission, or they won't be hurt because they're emotionally stronger. That they will be the ones to fix her and save our system.

If you think you can fix and change a persecutor we want nothing to do with you. Because making them submit, whichever way you do it, only further traumatises them. Persecutors need a safe space and support network who love and accept them for who they are, they need and deserve the chance to heal just as much as any other alter. We NEVER want our persecutors to change themselves, especially not out of fear and guilt. The behaviour is what is harmful, and only they can choose to improve that.

We love you persecutors. We love the ones in our system. We love the ones in other systems. You don't deserve to be threatened, and you don't deserve to be told to change who you are. Your job is important, even if not everyone understands why.

can i just say, it’s really gross how so much of the plural community (as well as doctors, therapists, and friends of systems) sincerely recommends hurting persecutors in order to make them stop persecuting. the amount of stories i’ve seen where systems are bragging about how they beat their persecutor/s into submission is disgusting. persecutors deserve to heal and to love and to be loved just as much as anyone.

#this is a persecutor safe space #if you demonize persecutors block me rn #dissociative identity disorder #did system #osdd