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sam calling dean butch is life changing

#op i think about this line daily #whether in regards to bi dean interps or transmasc headcanons. makes me go <3 #especially for the latter in regards to that being something he was probably called often before he was Out #and now is being used in a diff content to refer to him trying to “pass” as masc enough/man enough and overshooting the mark #sam is in that special “you knew me then but if anyone else said that id punch them in the face. still might.” category #early 20s dean committing credit card fraud to get top surgery my beloved #this is just a rant now. I cutely end #dean winchester #early seasons

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somehow it's my first time catching the line "i mean, i don't like getting singled out at birthday parties, much less by god" from dean in 4x02. it's interesting to hear him openly admit that he dislikes being the center of attention in mundane ways in addition to the supernatural ones

#supernatural #spnrewatch #dean winchester #early seasons #4x02 #are you there god? it's me dean winchester

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somehow i had completely forgotten that john casually claws his way out of hell in the season two finale to help get azazel's ass. i feel like i should've remembered that

#supernatural #spnrewatch #john winchester #early seasons #he popped up and i was like HUH??? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?? #twas a good look on jdm though

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Supernatural 2.19 Folsom Prison Blues (2/?)

#dean should be manhandled as much as he is here in every episode methinks #2x19 #dean winchester #season two #early seasons

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Supernatural 2.19 Folsom Prison Blues(1/?)

#folsom prison blues was a good look on both of them #spn 2x19 #2x19 #season two #early seasons #sam winchester

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in roadkill (2x16), we're making a return to sam being characterized as the "empathetic, good at handling people person," and dean being the "rough around the edges, 'regular' people get in the way" person... interesting the different approaches the writers have with the boys episode to episode, and in what situations each of their very different sets of people skills shine.

#supernatural #dean winchester #spnrewatch #sam winchester #early seasons #2x16 #sam tends to connect to people with a thread of darkness in them or an unavoidable destiny #in this episode that's empathizing with greeley because 'he was a good person' but 'something happened to him' #and empathizing with molly because she's a person trapped in an impossible situation #dean tends to connect with people who've been mistreated and often specifically children #i imagine somewhat due to the older brother instinct but also more compellingly to me its the desire to save someone from the life he lived #dean also reaches for toxic connections like w/ gordon. he feels comfort and safety in the abuse/praise cycle. thrashed around emotionally #then theres sams priority being kindness vs. deans priority being protection #sam doesn't care if the pursuit of kindness is dangerous #and dean doesnt care if the pursuit of protecting someone makes him do things that are Unkind #hmm... I will think about this some more

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oh FUCK yeah houses of the holy, time to watch dean aggressively not believe in angels for 40 minutes knowing full well what's about to happen to him 2 seasons later

#i will definitely have words about this later #spnrewatch

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absoluuuutely, he's constantly being put on the wrong path or in a position to be "saved" by other characters—usually dean—and it totally undermines his autonomy in the story, so he's just kind of left to become a tool of the plot instead of a fully defined, whole character.

where i'm at rewatching season two right now, sam's main mantras are "something inside of me is inherently evil and driving me towards an unavoidably grim destiny" and "i have to believe i can be saved, so any chance at redemption i have to jump for immediately", which lends to him being a very desperate, sometimes wildly irrational character, and that's a pretty fun concoction of brain worms to give a guy for a while, but... it has its limits, you know? at a point it just pigeonholes him into some kind of misguided damsel in distress role, and demeans that they seem to want us to read him as the book smart guy, the take it slow and ask questions guy, as compared to dean.

there's an argument to be made about it being part of his characterization as a younger sibling, but sometimes it feels like they sacrificed sam's character at the altar of preserving the "brothers" dynamic—and dean too, at times, but it can really be felt with sam.

hmm... night shifter (2x12) is another example of dean being really quick to connect to other characters, always forming a strong relationship, whether positive or negative (in this case, with ronald, who trusts him easily because dean chooses not to lie to him in an effort to befriend him).

on the other end, it's another example of sam's lacking people skills and how he's perpetually isolated in episodes in contrast to how dean's character is handled—sam chooses the tough guy route this ep (dean's even slightly off-put by how well he plays a fed in reprimanding ronald and confiscating his copies of the security footage), losing ronald's trust and making a poor impression on the other hostages almost immediately.

even further, with this being another appearance of henriksen, he only ever speaks to dean, and treats sam almost as... an accessory to him? it's weird on another watch through, after so many years, how clear it becomes that sam is almost never given any opportunity to connect, except for with antagonists. i almost wish they'd let him go fully darksided for a bit—he plays evil really well, and i feel like it would've helped him feel more complete and complex, whereas leaving him without connections for the first two seasons sort of put him on an island, and it makes him harder to enjoy. i understand better why i (and others) often gravitated towards dean—it feels like the writers did too, a lot of the time, and neglected sam's relationships often.

#supernatural #2x13 #early seasons #sam winchester #also yes i know im doing the 'engaging with what the source media could have been rather than what it is' deal #i do enjoy the show and have fun watching it as it is esp early seasons #i just also like reminiscing about the version of it that could have existed if it had been executed more cleanly

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#2x13 #supernatural #houses of the holy #sam winchester #dean winchester #this episode especially in the context of born under a bad sign being the IMMEDIATE followup #foreshadowing bestie #also these SSs are beautiful op im kissing you on the forehead

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Supernatural (2005 - 2020)

Houses of the Holy 2x13

#2x13 #houses of the holy #supernatural #the early seasons aesthetics were so good

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man i REMEMBER listening to renegade - styx play at the end of night shifter (2x12) as sam and dean escaped the bank robbery when i was a kid watching spn for the first time, and it put just as much of a smile on my face rewatching it now as it did back then

#supernatural #spnrewatch

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hmm... night shifter (2x12) is another example of dean being really quick to connect to other characters, always forming a strong relationship, whether positive or negative (in this case, with ronald, who trusts him easily because dean chooses not to lie to him in an effort to befriend him).

on the other end, it's another example of sam's lacking people skills and how he's perpetually isolated in episodes in contrast to how dean's character is handled—sam chooses the tough guy route this ep (dean's even slightly off-put by how well he plays a fed in reprimanding ronald and confiscating his copies of the security footage), losing ronald's trust and making a poor impression on the other hostages almost immediately.

even further, with this being another appearance of henriksen, he only ever speaks to dean, and treats sam almost as... an accessory to him? it's weird on another watch through, after so many years, how clear it becomes that sam is almost never given any opportunity to connect, except for with antagonists. i almost wish they'd let him go fully darksided for a bit—he plays evil really well, and i feel like it would've helped him feel more complete and complex, whereas leaving him without connections for the first two seasons sort of put him on an island, and it makes him harder to enjoy. i understand better why i (and others) often gravitated towards dean—it feels like the writers did too, a lot of the time, and neglected sam's relationships often.

#dean winchester #supernatural #spnrewatch #sam winchester #season two #early seasons #yk what i mean though right? he feels really pushed aside in a lot of these eps. lots of focus on dean and his natural charisma #it just feels weird esp with the framing of sam as the main character? knowing how the show ends and all #that they seem to have neglected to build his character relationships and place in the show except for his rship to dean #but even then a lot of the sam and dean moment feel more about dean's feelings and struggles or how he's handling sam's feelings #and less about sam. if that makes sense. #maybe its the classic older sibling steamroll? maybe the writers got distracted playing w jensens ability to have chemistry w a brick wall? #dont know. but sam has felt very Background to me in this rewatch which is weird because like! he's the MC!

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hunted (2x10) is so much sadder in retrospect... dean really almost got out of hunting, what with that whole "i don't believe in destiny" streak when he was trying to convince himself sam wasn't gonna go dark side. weirdly, it was sam that kept him hunting, telling him he'd hunt even if dean left the life, and that dean should come with him. i'm so used to that dynamic being swapped that i forgot it was ever any other way.

#supernatural #dean winchester #spnrewatch #sam winchester #season 2

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Dean telling the little kid who’s helping them catch the shtriga “if you don’t wanna do it, it’s okay, I won’t be mad” in an episode where it’s revealed his dad screamed at Dean for not doing what he was told 😭

#!!!!!!!! #dean winchester #supernatural #early seasons dean did so much to illustrate how desperately he wanted to be different from john even when he was still terrified of him #john winchester #i know sam was supposed to be the rebellious black sheep cycle breaker so it sorta shoehorned dean into being The One Who Doesn't Change #but he wanted to be different so bad. he WAS different. and then he went to hell and he was scraped clean of all that gentleness #something something maybe the real hell was becoming your father

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Asylum (1x10) is the first time we see the mind control vs. love scenario play out in supernatural, and it's weird that this time, when it's something so trivial as a vengeful spirit, love doesn't win. sam pulls the trigger, and if dean hadn't guessed he would (ouch) and given him an unloaded gun, sam would've killed him.

there's a lot of reference to dean being lonely and unlovable—think back to Skin (1x06), where the shapeshifter is speaking to sam using dean's memories/thoughts:

"You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. ... You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too."

then this time from sam, from when he has a gun to dean in Asylum (1x10):

"’Cause you're following Dad's orders like a good little solider? Because you always do what he says without question? Are you that desperate for his approval? ... That's the difference between you and me. I have a mind of my own. I'm not pathetic, like you."

then dean, same scene:

"You hate me that much? ... Then go ahead. Pull the trigger."

sam pulling the trigger was some sort of confirmation for dean, feeding into that internal dialogue that nobody could ever genuinely care for him—not even his brother. he accepts it immediately as a part of his reality, regardless of the spirit influence involved. you know he does, too, because when sam brings it up and apologizes at the end of the episode, saying he didn't mean any of it, dean is surprised. i mean, he intended to just throw that memory onto his ever-growing pile of reasons to hate himself and sleep on it, and he says as much.

god, someone give season one dean a hug.

#thinking about this one again today

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2x08 (first introduction of hellhounds and demon deals) starts with dean not really feeling all that bad for people who cut deals with the devil. it's to the point where it's implied if he were alone, he wouldn't have even gone after the hounds because "they asked for it."

this changes after they meet evan, who sold his soul to cure his wife's terminal cancer. he then pities evan, but that's not all—he's angry, too. to him, evan's deal was just as selfish as all the others, and dean thinks this for two reasons: it's why he would (...will) do it, and it's why dad did do it.

the same way evan didn't do it for his wife, john didn't make his deal for dean—it was more selfish than that. john did it because he knew he wouldn't be able to cope with the loss of his son, so instead he forces dean to cope with the loss of him.

evan did the same thing, he just got more time with his wife before the hounds came. and as much as dean despises it, he knows he'd do the same thing too. he's a living, breathing product of that trade-off, after all. could say it's in his blood.

#supernatural #spnrewatch #dean winchester #2x08 #crossroad blues #john winchester #season two #it comes from that same self hatred that everything else does too. #'why does someone as horrible as me get to live when someone ive placed so far above me on their pedestal (sam) dies?' #he doesnt really value anything about himself except his ability to keep people safe #so when he fucks that up what does he have left? #zilch. nada. nothin'. #something-something the s10ish (dont remember) cain+abel storyline parallels #brothers keeper but keeper of every other motherfucker too. no wonder he feels like a failure all the time. no one can save the whole world

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dean, why is it that you recognize the smell of chloroform immediately but can't quite place it as chloroform until talking about h. h. holmes' crimes stirs up some memory, at which point you look like you've seen a ghost and get weirdly somber for the rest of the scene?¿

it was just a weird thing to draw attention to for something i know is never brought up again,.. like. look.

dean making a joke about the types of girls holmes went after, all's well and normal:

dean 2 seconds later, after bringing up chloroform (something holmes used) and realizing that was the smell:

dean after not talking for some time, trying to crack a joke about holmes that falls flat because he's making... this face:

#analyze that how you may #supernatural #dean winchester #2x06 #no exit #spnrewatch #i dont know if jensen was just like *shrug* lets act this realization a little too intensely #or if its supposed to be read into for deans character #but I am reading into it. and like. buddy. are you good? #did some poltergeist get sick of punting hunters into walls and instead opt for chloroformin' bitches? #that reaction certainly doesnt make it seem like this is information he acquired of his own volition