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smutdefender · 7 months

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Welcome to Night Court

A fanfic by ArielWasReal

Summary:

(hey, remember the hit tv show Night Court from the ‘80s? This entire thing is a pun off that title. It’s court, but at ~night~)

Elain has taken a job at Velaris Co. Courthouse as their newest night shift court reporter. The perks are great, the hours mean that she can go to school during the day, and the bailiff isn’t half bad on the eyes. Unfortunately she’s got a not-so-secret admirer, and a brother-in-law hell bent on calling everyone to order - even if he can rarely have it in his court room.

A fun little romp with some heart and eventual steam.

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“It’s the least I can do to for someone on their first day. Here,” he said, pulling a pen from his pocket and grabbing a napkin from the dispenser to scrawl on “is my phone number. Just in case you need anything.” He held out the paper to her as she neatly plucked it from his hands. With her head still ducked, Azriel made his way to the exit.

“Thank you!” Elain called to him as he left. He turned on his heel to throw a small smile back at her.

“Of course. Welcome to the Night Court, Elain.”

Chapter 1 - invisible string

The break room was silent - apart from the constant hum of the fridge, clack of heels, clicking of keyboards, and distance toilet flushes that made up the symphony of the administration wing. It was supposed to be silent. A place to think ones thoughts and numb your brain with stale coffee and chips. Only now instead of just one person and his thoughts, two people stood awkwardly facing each other as they entered from doors on either side of the room. Their eyes clashed together with the mortification of taking a state-mandated 15 minute break at the same time. Blushing, Azriel quickly ducked his head, cleared his throat, and executed an evasive maneuver to the staff vending machine that he had perfected over the past ten years of working in the courthouse.

He knew everyone and everything in it. Was used to the steely tones of the state public defender reaming the solicitor general out while Rhys called for order. Was accustomed to seeing his chief clerk - and wife to the judge - Feyre running around with pencils sticking out of her hair at odd angles, keeping law school clerks and interns in line. Hell, even walking the support magistrate, Mor, to her car just in case some angry deadbeat decided to take his bad decisions out on her had gotten stale.

What he wasn’t used to was the girl now sitting at the linoleum table, awkwardly clutching a pre-mixed salad. It didn’t take someone with a military background and ten years as a bailiff to clock the way her eyes darted every few seconds to the utensil dispenser behind him, psyching herself up to grab around him but then deciding against it. He couldn’t blame her. Through the corner of his eyes he took in her petite frame. She’d barely come up to his chin - and god her arms - he could probably fit her thin bicep within his thumb and ring finger. He needed to stop staring. He needed to break this unending silence. He needed to not be so fucking awkward and make conversation with the pretty new girl so she wasn’t scared.

Suddenly a quiet voice squeaked out “I’m so sorry to bother you but I need to grab a fork.”

Azriel started - totally unaware that the little mouse of a girl had somehow snuck up behind him and gathered her courage to take on the big bad brute hogging her space. He forced a soft smile onto his face and let her pass by to grab her utensils. Now within a breath’s distance he could finally get a good look at her as she gave him a bemused smile of thanks.

“My name is Elain, by the way...”

For the first time he truly looked into her honey brown eyes and felt something shift in the world. Not monumentally, but in his chest he felt less… tired. “Hello, Elain” he breathed. “What’s yours?” She asked, politely sitting down and nervously stabbing her innocent lettuce.

“My?”

“Your name. I tried to study the staff directory as best I could but I didn’t have any pictures to place names to faces.” She scrunched her nose, and seemed almost embarrassed. He smiled, thinking of her studying for her first day like an exam. He opened his mouth to give her his name when she interrupted -

“Wait no - let me guess. I think I can figure it out” snapping his mouth shut, he dutifully gestured for her to continue. “Full disclosure, I do know a few people here from the outside world, so it might be cheating. Mor and Amren I just met. So you’re either Nuala, Cerridwen, Cassian or Azriel.” At the sound of his name he felt his temples ache from unused smile lines starting to re-form. “Cassian’s job is to liaise with the community so he wouldn’t be in a uniform - and you don’t look like a clerk to me.”

Azriel cocked his head “What does a clerk look like?”

“More pencils, less handcuffs.” Elain deadpanned “So my guess is that it’s a pleasure to meet you, Azriel.” At his small nod, she broke out into a full smile, returning to her reign of terror over the salad. Returning her smile, he moved to sit across from her “So, what brought you here? Not many people want to work in court, let alone at night.”

As he asked, he tried to figure out how the woman sitting across from him in her relaxed pantsuit and floral headband got suckered into taking such a dreary shift. The frightening cases, the workload, the irritable people, and the fact that he rarely got to see daylight seemed so foreign to the ray of sunshine sitting across from him.

“I’m living with my sister who works second shift and I have quick fingers - so court reporter fit nicely.” She gave a playful wiggle of her fingers “it seemed good to be useful if she was going to wake me up at all odd hours anyways”

“Idle hands, and all that?” He felt himself sink into his chair, his stiff back unlocking as he let the adrenaline of a first introduction recede.

A ghost of a shadow passed over her face, almost too quick to catch “something like that - yeah. What about you? How long have you been nocturnal?”

Azriel glanced at the clock - he still had five minutes left - he wished he had five hours. His voice went flat as he answered “Almost a decade.” Elain blinked “But you don’t look much older than I am.”

“No, I’m probably not - I just turned 35. I went into the military right out of high school, and planned to stay in for a while” he cleared his throat, trying to make his next words as light and casual as possible “- but then my mom passed and I came home to see my brothers, and never left. I didn’t want them to be alone without her. She was the best part of our lives.” He had no clue why all of this had slipped out, unbidden. His normal answer of “high school drop-out” had tasted like ash when it tried to escape his mouth. He rarely talked about his family, much less the painful parts of his life - the failures that kept him stagnate. The people he had lost. He moved to get up - to walk away from this conversation that had spun wildly into the realm of intimacy.

But just as he tensed, Elain spoke. “She must have been wonderful. It sounds like you are making her proud.” Color bloomed high on his cheeks at the compliment. He let his lips quirk up into a rueful half smile, “Thank you.”

A moment of awkward silence passed between them as they breathed and sat, both in their uncomfortable chairs, and felt stillness ebb around them. Elain breathed in once - twice - and then leaned across the table to put her small hand on his larger one. It was an effort for Azriel to not pull away. He wasn’t used to being touched with care - and feared the scars on his hands would scare her. But she simply traced patterns on the back of his knuckles, eventually raising her eyes to his.

“I lost a parent - my dad - too. Maybe we should start a club”

“We can hold weekly meetings and commiserate with those 3 year old Milky Way bars” he said, jerking his chin back to the vending machine.

“You can take president, if I can take secretary”

“Done.” He turned his hand over and captured hers in a firm handshake. “I’ll see you at the worlds dullest gathering at 7:00pm sharp.”

Elain let her eyes crinkle, trying to maintain composure “I’ll bring refreshments. I hope you like baked goods because that is as close to catering as you’ll get.” Azriel’s smile reflected hers “Couldn’t dream of anything better.” In his mind he marveled at how quickly she had brought the conversation back to a place of comfort. This was a woman who could use her words like a lasso. He was more than happy to be pulled in.

Until, of course, his phone alarm started blaring - signaling the end of their break… and the beginning of 4 more hours of nothingness. Elain started at the sound of the phone, giving a small squeak of alarm before settling with her hand over her heart.

“God, I almost jumped out of my skin” she huffed out a laugh of relief, happy to feel her heart slow. Azriel gathered her trash and the corpse of her leftover salad from the table. As she started to protest, he simply shook his head and said “It’s the least I can do to for someone on their first day.”

“Here,” he said, pulling a pen from his pocket and grabbing a napkin from the dispenser to scrawl on “is my phone number. Just in case you need anything.” He held out the paper to her as she neatly plucked it from his hands and created a contact in her phone. With her head still ducked, Azriel made his way to the exit.

“Thank you!” Elain called to him as he left. He turned on his heel to throw a small smile back at her.

“Of course. Welcome to the Night Court, Elain.”

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smutdefender · 10 months

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Strangers by ethel cain meets ACOTAR in Schrödinger’s Ship Art

Alrighty- lets start off with this warning: I have no endorsement of any ship, and as a GayLain truther I personally hope she gets a lady love BUT that is not where the Spotify Playlist drew me today. I'm working through Preachers Daughter by Ethel Cain and started subconsciously mapping the idea of cannibalizing lovers onto our two very controversial characters.

I just got so interested in the idea of eating/being eaten the person you desire because you’re desperate for approval and touch. Az and Elain are both utterly consumed by their initial love interests - with Az burning for Mor for over 500 years, and Elain severely morning Greyson to the point of becoming a shell. SO I thought to myself "how interesting would it be to see that energy turned towards each other, and what kind of fireworks/dumpster fire would it result in?" The answer, dear reader (to me, inmyownpersonalopinion) is emotional cannibalism (and maybe some lightly implied literal cannibalism? Who knows! I don't even know and I drew the damn thing!)

Ethel sings "I tried to be good - am i no good? I just wanted to be yours - can i be yours? Just tell me I'm yours. With my memory restricted to a Polaroid in evidence" which to me resonated so much with both characters striving to be good and useful to others at the expense of their own happiness, which we see in ACOFAS with Feyre clocking Elain's hollow smiles, and Az's extra chapter of ACOSF attempting to feeling nothing.

So, my lovelies - is it a piece of ship art that answers the question "should these two should be together?" Nope! That's why it's Schrödingers ship art. There's all mixed emotions and readings galore, and ain't that just what we're here for on this here blog while we wait on the next book?

#elriel #idk man i just think they are a real fucked up couple and i love that for them #metaphorical cannibalism #is that a thing?#a court of thorns and roses #elain archeron #acotar #elain kingslayer #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #ethel cain #procreate #digital art #digitial painting

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