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zukotheartist · 5 months

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LONG tbosas (book, mostly) post ahead, about Reaper Ash specifically

A lot of people, rightfully, point out when Reaper cuts Panem's flag and throws it on the dead kids but something that gets to me as well (that I think is a really nice touch and should be talked about more) is his other uses of the flag (in the book, anyway).

The first time he cuts the flag, it's to bargain with Lamina.

Yes, he's doing it for himself because his mentor* won't send him food (or water) unless he puts on a good show (aka killing or at least attacking another tribute), which he isn't doing, and it's been days so he needs to eat (if I remember correctly, he had been able to get a few of Lucy Gray/Jessup's extra/leftover water bottles). But he was strong and big enough to hunt down another tribute and then steal their food. Not Lamina, probably, I don't think a big guy would be able to climb a pole that well? (I feel like that'd be easier for a smaller-skinnier person like Coral but idk, i dont climb lol). Regardless, he couldve hunted any of the tributes that were on the ground.

Instead, he notices that Lamina is heavily sunburned (enough for the skin on her nose to be chipping away) and tells her that he'll get her a blanket (piece of flag) to cover herself with, in exchange for some food.

Then he cuts another piece of the flag to cover his dead peers (and ofc that's the main use of it and the most important one).

But then he also cuts a piece of the flag... for HIMSELF. Not to use as a shield from the sun or to wrap a wound or any other "logical" or "useful" reason.

He drapes the cloth on his back and wraps it around his neck.

He makes a CAPE.

And what does he do, right after?

He twirls around and tries to look back at the cape as he's twirling. Then he runs up and down a bit, with his arms out-stretched, letting the cape fly behind him.

And the next time we see him? He's still wearing the cape.

That moment speaks VOLUMES imo.

A lot of people have pointed out that Suzanne Collins does the complete opposite of the usual tropes placed upon black characters: the girls aren't the caretakers, they're the ones being taken care of by other characters (Katniss and Rue + Tresh and Rue + Reaper and Dill) and the boys aren't treated as agressive fully grown men ready to attack, they're depicted as kind and righteous boys who don't wanna cause harm > the way they show it with Reaper (tho we also see it with Tresh) is soo so... idk, I don't have the words for it.

Not only does he apologise, before the game starts, to all the tributes for having to kill them and also promises them that he'll fight the Capitol and avenge them, to then refusing to murder them during the game.

Not only does he respect his peer's dead bodies when he absolutely had no necessity to and would even get repercussions for doing it (cutting the flag = defying the Capitol = no chance of him winning aka surviving).

He's also shown to be just a kid himself.

He's in an awful situation and trying to stay kind and safe and what's a little something that he does for Himself (the ONE thing he does for himself, basically his entire time in the arena he's doing things for others, even when the thing is just refusing to murder) to cheer up? He makes himself a makeshift cape and runs and twirls around a bit.

i have... so many feelings and thoughts on his character... Suzanne Collins' pen is definition of on fire. That's all.

*btw, something that also makes me incredibly sad is how he's taking care of everyone/not harming anyone but his own mentor still won't send him food or water :( and it's especially sad when you remember that Clemensia was one of the only mentors and Capitol people shown to be Actually against the Hunger Games, at first.

She wasn't bored by them (like it can be said for Festus or Arachne) and she wasn't simply disgusted from a gore/imagery perspective (like Snow and Livia too, if I remember well).

She was actually disgusted at them from a human perspective (not nearly as much as Sejanus but still) and even asked if "the Districts hadn't suffered enough" and "why couldn't they stop now that the war was over". Meaning, she was probably gonna be a good mentor (or as good as a mentor can be) before the snakes bit her and messed her up... it's all one big tragedy🥲

EDIT: wait, she Does send food by the end! But the point stands because she sends it after she's healed more and her brain's clearer.

#reaper ash #clemensia dovecote #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #thg series #thg #the hunger games #al's post

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striving-artist · 9 months

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Hi. I do agree with a lot of what you wrote--there absolutely is a problem of white cisgays pulling up the ladder behind them, no debate on that. But where you're starting to lose me is when you're saying that the 'respectable' gays are the ones who erased their identities to get crumbs from the establishment cake, thereby implying that they're only playacting 24/7 for the small chance of getting at least tolerated. You talk a lot about tone policing and not letting them divide us, but aren't you kind of doing the same thing just in reverse? Because there really are gays who truly want the office job, the suburban home, the marriage. You may find that boring (which is fine), but it doesn't mean they are betraying their 'true' identities or that they are traitors to the larger queer community.

You say we must stand together, and I agree 100%. But that also means including the boring ones among us who just want to work 9 to 5 and have their Big Gay Wedding.

Yeah, I can see where I wasn't clear enough. Thank you for pointing it out. In advance, I'm using Gay as a catchall here bc its what we would have said twenty years ago.

I do not care if a person wants to be delightfully boring. If their dream is to have a white picket fence and a dog and be imperceptibly gay, I will fight like hell for their right to have that. And lots of people who have that and want that, continue to support the fight. Love that for them. Maybe they don't want to be in marches and protests, but they can throw money around, and have conversations with conservatives who would never listen to people like my GNC friends. They're still in it, they were never playacting, I love them. I am also deeply boring, just a different variety.

What upsets me, and what then muddied what I was saying is several pieces, which is probably why it got muddy.

First: the gays who have that life, want that life, and as soon as they got the things they wanted, which were early on the checklist of things to fight for, they dipped. I am a big fan of unions and unity. If you're standing with the group, and they fought for you, you have to fight for them. Even if you won the thing you wanted yesterday, you still show up tomorrow. This wasn't everyone, but I knew at least a dozen first hand who did some form of this. In my head, they are the equivalent to scabs, and fuck scabs.

Second. The ones who wanted the whole community to play act being respectable. The ones who, whether they were or not, want us to all act like we're Neil Patrick Harris, and want to shove the wild side of the community into a corner so they won't embarrass us. I can't even say that they were strategically wrong to take that approach back then. It worked. We got marriage rights. But it also created this facade where if you want to be taken seriously as a leader, even now, you have to be the same kind of boring and respectable. It's why someone in heavy drag has a hard time making any argument without it being treated as joke, or an oddity. Even today, anyone outside of respectable gets framed as a bit of sideshow in media and society. It frustrates the hell out of me, and anyone pushing that crap now is on my list to fight. I get why it happened then, but never again.

Third, the people who really do hide who they are in order to get crumbs. I'm not mad at them, I'm mad for them. They shouldn't have to playact just to feel safe in their own home, but bc of point two, thats the only way they feel safe. And it makes me so mad that it spills over into my general tone.

As a fun(?) bonus. And this is not judgement or attack, just an observation. You're very close to falling into the paradox of tolerance trap here. Anytime someone talks about reverse bias, it throws a flag to stop and read closer because it commonly shows up together. Paradox of Tolerance is about the bullshit idea that a Tolerant Society (or person) is tolerant of everyone, including those who are intolerant.

That is false. A Tolerant Society is in a social contract with each other. I will tolerate your love of weird music genre 3, you will tolerate my love of weird hobby 4. As soon as someone enters who insists that their Intolerance be tolerated, they have broken that social contract, and the rest of us are no longer bound to tolerate them.

In practice for what you brought up: The foundation of the queer community is that we have each others backs, even if we're not into what you're into. I'm not Ace, I'll fight for them. My friend isn't a lesbian, they'll still show up to fight for their rights. I have no patience for, and I will never tolerate, someone who claims to stand under the queer umbrella while trying to shove others out, or define what Correct is. They broke the contract when they stopped supporting the entire group, they're no longer part of the group.

#queer community #I'm sorry I'm so wordy it's a problem #terfs use this a lot #the idea that we have to include them in queer stuff even though they hate whole bunches of us #no; you broke the contract so you can't sit with us until you rejoin the contract #it is a paradox and it is easy to trip yourself on it #please dont' let it #we don't tolerate the intolerant #hands down full stop go directly to jail

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steadytrashpastacash · 3 years

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Illena character analysis

The unrighteousness of the Hierarchy took Illena's fragile state of mind and twisted her into a monster. And while we can understand her cruel actions and such she should still be held accountae as she is deserving of the consequences. Narratively, She is not a sympathetic character but instead a pitiful character due to how she is presented in the story

But to provide some background, the high rankers dictating the lives of people beneath them reinforced the idea that power is everything to the mid tiers and that if you have it you're better than anyone who is weaker than you and are allowed to do what you want to them basically, that's part of the why the mid tiers bully the low rankers so much, because that sort of thing is justifiable in their world due to the hierachy.

But they aren't just doing it because they believe that they deserve it, it's deeper than that. The mid tiers want to be respected and or atleast acknowledged/taken seriously for the strength that they possess, just like the high tiers. And with that being said, there are things that the mid tiers cannot do in society because they're simply not strong enough, and because of they're forced to conform to what the high rankers tell them. The mid tiers quite literally hate that they have to listen to the high rankers because they will suffer the consequences and get beat up if they dont. Point is, they're just picking on the lower tiers to feel good about themselves and vent their frustrations in a system where power is everything. Illena is no exception

But she practically sees a former god tier acting all high and mighty/condescending when they've literally been rendered powerless, and notice that they are now attempting to take the moral high ground since that they're the one being discriminated against after losing everything. High tiers wanted mid tiers to know their place but cannot accept their own if they're not in a position of power, that is what Illena learns here.

think about it, all of a sudden they neglect the entire structure of the system and consider beating up low tiers as an injustice when they did not care about what happened to them at all when they were on top of the food chain where she perpetuated the same caste system because it was once beneficial for her. And that seriously pisses off Illena because to her this must mean that Sera still thinks that she's better than them even without any abilities because she decides to fight back/retaliate, perceiving the mid tiers as week (protecting other low tiers in the process and more importantly acting as if she still owns them by telling them what to do and getting into their business, as Illena has said)

And Illena doesnt just kidnap Sera to get back at her specifically, but all of the high tiers in a sense, their arrogance entitlement, etc etc only using Seraphina as an outlet for all of their pent up frustration and hurt. She didn't even see them as an individual, but just another high tier, as we see when Illena addresses Sera using words such as "you guys" "her kind" "them".

Illena basically just wanted to hammer in notion that the high tiers were nothing without their powers to get rid of that same high tier like mindset ingrained in Sera's head to establish her place in the hierarchy as the most worthless and incompetent student in Wellston. All she wanted was for Seraphina to learn her place and act her rank accordingly. Because as a cripple she's worthless, and she should act/be treated as such. For in this society power is everything, and high tiers were the ones who ebstablised this with their Hierachy. Seeing Seraphina acting like she was better than them was unacceptable after everything the high tiers perpetuated

Which we can see here

In this instance, Illena wanted Sera to admit that they were better than her and that she was beneath them

And so, when she refuses. Illena gets pissed off because of her stubbornness, this is when the others step up and tell her that what she's doing is excessive.

Here Krolik implies that they should let Sera go, and this isn't what he tjinks but everyone else present too, as seen as other mid tiers stand by his side. But I am not saying that they felt remorse for Sera necessarily, but felt that torturing her was unnecessary and that if they kept her hostage/continued abusing her they would be severely punished once they're eventually caught, and that just isn't worth it to them as they know that beating her up will ultimately change nothing in the long run, anyway. They just wanted to get back at her for what she did... But not like this

Basically, they want Illena to accept that they don't need confirmation to know that they're better than her, it's a given seeing as Sera's a cripple, having no value/worth. She should just give up...

But she's refuses.....out of pride, insecurity. Needing reassurance, a sense of superiority above someone that was better than them for so long as she is offended by their hypocrisy and double standards

..Anyways when Arlo catches them and calls them disgusting, Illena calls him out for valuing a cripple above the rest of them when they were stronger than her, as following the structure of his hierarchy he shouldn't even care. Usually he would just ignore them anyway. And while it is debateble on whether or not Arlo would do anything if it was someone he didnt know the fact that Illena genuinely believed that he wouldn't step in only reinforces how bad the system really is where no one expects a high tiers to help someone beneath them when they're in trouble. She also said that the high tiers dictate the lives of the people beneath them because they were born gifted and get specials privilege because of it, just because they are stronger than everyone else. And Illena is frustrated that they have to listen to the high tiers, because they're punished if they don't comply, to her it's unfair. The high tiers did whatever they wanted with the mid tiers because they were above them, so the mid tiers should be able to do whatever they want with Sera as she is beneath *them*.

But Arlo just ignores her, and this reinforces her belief that the royals dont care about the feelings/opinions of anyone beneath them since it doesn't matter what lower tiers think because the high tankers will always be stronger, meaing they dont have to listen to shit(The lions do not concern themselves with the opinions of the sheep). And that pisses her off. In that moment, she disregards his rank. Pushing past her fear and trying to sucker punch that bitch. As the only way to get your point across in this world is through violence….but the realization that she can't do shit begins to sink in once she receives reflective damage from his barrier, serving as a reminder that no matter what they really can't do anything, because they're not strong enough. Turns out her little stunt was nothing but a meaningless attempt to change the status quo, this hits Illena hard. And she just accepts that she will probably be expelled

And with all of that said Illena might've been a hypocrital bitch but she still had a valid point.And if anything her being a hypocrite only reinforced how bad the system is at hand as well. Simply put, Illena represents the struggles of being a mid tier and sheds light on their mentality and what they deem jusifiable as a result of their system. She also provides insight on the damaging us vs them mentality and actually had a point in her rant to the high tiers. She had actual depth to her actions other than just being an asshole and had something of importance to say

I like her as a character study. I think her motivations are pretty realistic in context of the world she lives in. She's an product of her environment that shaped her into becoming this bully who resents the higher ups because of their privellege.

And that my friend, is why I like Illena as a character from a narrative standpoint

#unordinary #seraphina #analysis #illena #bullying #kidnapping tw

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imzadi-caskett-huddy · 4 years

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House, M.D. Fanfic (11/?)

Thank you to everyone who has taken time to leave a note on my story. I hope you continue to enjoy my kind of rewrite and/or additions to certain episodes! As always, I don't own House. If I did, Lisa Edelstein would have gotten the respect she deserved contact wise for a season 8.

As stated in previous chapters, the story follows the big picture laid out on the show, but with my own take on things. We have reached extremely bumpy road territory. Buckle up, folks. This one might sting a little.

Thanks to @love-hope-faith-feels-like-a-lie on Tumblr for reading my ideas and providing positive feedback! Anything in the way of feedback is always appreciated! I like to know how you like what I'm doing. Enjoy!

xxxxx

"How long have you been sleeping with Dr. House?" Tritter asked as he took a seat in her office.

Cuddy shook her head, shocked at the question. "Why would you think I'm sleeping with House?"

Tritter got that smug smirk he got when he thought he knew something. "Only reason a smart woman like you would keep a jerk like that around. You're way out of his league."

"The only reason a dean of medicine at a teaching hospital would keep a world renowned diagnostician around is because I'm sleeping with him?"

"You haven't denied it."

"I'm not sleeping with House," she crossed her arms.

"Dr. Cuddy. The guy is an ass. He treats patients like they aren't even human. How much has he cost your hospital over the years? How much has he cost you?" He asked. "I don't understand why you're protecting him."

"Dr. House saves lives... lives that other doctors can't save. If you were dying and no one else could figure out what was wrong with you, you'd want Dr. House to be the one on your case. I'm not sleeping with him. He's just that good," she stated a little more firmly, moving to open her office door to show him out. But his words had hit a nerve, asking what he'd cost her had hit a nerve. It stuck with her.

xxxxx

Later that night, House laid in her bed, one hand folded under his head, his fingers sliding over her bare back. "Heard Barnaby Jones came to talk to you today."

Cuddy breathed deeply, shifting so she could prop her head on her hand and look at him. "Detective Tritter came to accuse me of sleeping with you."

"You are sleeping with me." He turned his head to look at her.

"I lied to him. I told him I wasn't."

"Why?"

"Because sleeping with you would give him a reason to believe my judgement is compromised. It would imply that I'm hiding your drug problem. Or he would accuse me of enabling your habit."

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Has sleeping with me affected your ability to practice medicine?"

"No."

"Has it compromised your ability to make professional calls where my patients or myself are concerned?"

"No, but..."

"Has your judgement been compromised? Have you been writing me scripts? Have I stolen your prescription pad? Have you been enabling my habit?"

"No..."

"Then what's the problem?" He shrugged.

"I lied to the cops!"

"You lied about sleeping with me. We've been lying to everyone else about that for months. Why are you suddenly growing a conscience about it?"

"I don't know, House, maybe because this guy has it out for you! Normally when you piss someone off, they just sue you. This guy actually has the power to get your medical license revoked and send you to jail for a long time!"

"That what you're afraid of? Don't worry, I can still place a bun in your oven. Or are conjugal visits not on your list of approved baby making fantasies?"

She sighed and moved away, turning her back to him. "Whatever you want to tell yourself, House." She was tired of fighting with him.

"You're mad at me."

"Because you're being an ass!"

"No more than usual." He thought for a moment. "This is you being hormonal..."

"I'm not pregnant, House!"

"Did you take another test?"

She sat up and looked at him with tears in her eyes. "Yes! Yes, I took a damn test! I took a damn test every time you accused me of being pregnant, and guess what... still not pregnant! You weren't right!"

"This is you being upset that you're not pregnant..." he said slowly. "Look, it's only been a few months. It doesn't mean anything..."

"6 months, House. 6. It's not happening. It's not meant to happen."

"You're giving up?"

"Yes! I tried, and I failed to get pregnant. I'm done. I'm tired of trying and being disappointed. And this...arrangement..." she gestured between them, "isn't working anymore."

He stared at her for a moment. "You're ending this?"

She was quiet for a few moments. "I guess I am."

"Because I haven't gotten you pregnant? It takes most couples years to get pregnant, and you're giving up in 6 months?"

"Save it, House... you're just trying to protect your regular supply of free sex. Sorry, looks like it's back to hookers. I'm sure you've still got all their numbers."

"I don't care about the sex! I do care about you!" He was a little surprised those feelings had slipped out mid-argument. Judging by the look on her face, so was she. "Why are you so willing to give up on something that you've wanted for a long time just because it's a little hard getting there?"

She sighed softly. "Because you can't always get what you want."

"Yeah, quoting a song lyric... that's a real response," he countered. "And in case you forgot, it ends with 'You get what you need.'"

"Yeah...I'm not getting that either." She was quiet for another moment. "Goodnight, House."

xxxxx

House walked into his friend's office and sat down silently. "I've been sleeping with Cuddy," he said after several minutes.

The revelation caused Wilson to pause his reading, but he didn't look up, clearly not buying it. "House, hallucinations mean you've taken too much Vicodin."

House shook his head. "I'm not hallucinating. Cuddy and I have been having hot monkey sex."

Wilson just stared at him, trying to decide if it was true or not. "How... long has it been going on?"

"Several months. When she started fertility treatments before I was shot."

"Cuddy is taking fertility treatments?"

"Right... I didn't tell you about that either. Oops..." he stood and began to walk the office as he worked everything around in his head.

"You're trying to have a baby with Cuddy?"

He turned to look at Wilson then. "No. Cuddy is trying to have a baby with me. Weren't you listening?"

"It's the same result," Wilson leaned back in his chair then. "You've seriously been sleeping with Cuddy for months and haven't told me?"

"This isn't high school. Some of us keep our private lives private, Jimmy."

Wilson shook his head and stood up, walking over to him. "This isn't high school, but you are still in high school. If this was any other woman, you'd have bragged about it. The sheets were barely cold when you told me about Stacy. This is different. She's different." And then he realized, "You're protecting her."

"There was no protection. She wants a baby. Duh," he deflected with sarcasm.

"You're protecting her from you. You're first instinct would normally be to run and brag about sleeping with her. To use the fact that she's your boss to get your way here. And you haven't. You went against your first instinct in order to protect her. You care about her."

"I don't care about her. I'm only telling you now because it's over. She's giving up the fertility treatments. No fertility drugs, no hope for a baby, no need for the hot monkey sex," he spun his cane as he continued to think.

"You don't want it to be over. Because you care about her. She's probably the only other woman who can stand you, can handle you, and you don't want to lose her."

"Don't be ridiculous. I care about the sex. It's free... and really, really good."

Wilson studied him for a moment. "You fell in love with her, didn't you?" It was really more of a statement. His friend wouldn't be here now if all he cared about was having sex.

House stared out the window silently for several long minutes. "What do I do about it?" He turned to his friend then.

"Well, the obvious response is to tell her."

"I can't tell her I love her."

"Why not?"

"Because she doesn't love me."

"How do you know?"

"I just know!"

"Right, because when a woman wants a baby, her first instinct is to go to the man who's a complete jackass to her and ask him to sleep with her... for months. And you said it was going on before you were shot? So over five months."

"Six, actually," he corrected him. "What can I say, she's got it bad for my genes."

"She's got it bad for you, House." When he didn't respond, Wilson pushed on. "Did you only have sex when she was ovulating?"

"Yes." He answered quickly. Heaving a sigh a moment later, he continued. "At least in the beginning. Somewhere along the way the line blurred." House didn't even have to think about that. It had started that way, but the longer it went on, the more sex they had, whether or not it was time in her monthly cycle. And it wasn't just sex. There were nights when they literally slept together and nothing else.

"Then it's not just about a baby. She has feelings for you."

House sighed again. "She's the one who ended the arrangement."

"Probably because she thinks that's all you wanted and she's trying to keep herself from being hurt anymore than she already is."

"She should know that's not all it is."

"Why? Because you've told her?"

"Yes, okay?! Yes! I told her I didn't care about the sex, that I cared about her! And she still ended things!"

"When did you tell her?"

He sighed, rubbing his thumb across his forehead. "Somewhere between her telling me I would have to go back to hookers for sex and quoting the Rolling Stones 'You Can't Always Get What You Want' to me."

He shook his head with a laugh. "House, you're an idiot! She probably thinks you just said it in the heat of the moment to protect your supply of free sex. You're an addict, you've proven you'll say anything to get what you want in the past," he explained. He paused for a moment before continuing. "House, you don't exactly give off the warm and fuzzy vibe. More like the annoying, jackass vibe. Cuddy may be able to handle your particular brand of charm... she may even like it. But she can't read your mind. And a woman like Cuddy isn't going to make that leap unless she knows you're there to catch her. You've got to talk to her."

"I don't know if I can."

"Do you know if you can lose her? Because that's what's at stake here. You either talk to her, or it's over."

House breathed deeply, thinking it over before he left.

#house #house m.d.#house md #house fanfic #huddy #house x cuddy #greg house #lisa cuddy

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willowlark369 · 6 years

Conversation

Competition Drama 02

Judge: ADD and ADHD are also not a mental illness, they are a Learning Difficulties. There is a difference. I understand that to those that don't work in that area, or deal with those with Learning Difficulties, it seems like the same thing, however, it isn't. People with Learning Difficulties have fought to be seen for who they are, and not to be treated like something to be fixed. Children with Autism, ADHD, Downs Syndrome, they were all born that way, it's who they are. When sites or people claim some of these are mental illnesses it's due to being part of the medical model of disbaility, which is out dated and doesn't consider the individuals. I'm going to stop myself from preaching, I have worked in this area all my working life, so it's something I feel very strongly about. If you want to understand the difference you can look at the MENCAP website.

Me: People are also born with bipolar disorder, OCD, and schizophrenia. When you preach that some neurodivergences aren't mental illnesses, you ignore the difficulties that they present for individuals with them. There's a significant difference between autism and Downs Syndrome. One is a mental illness and the other is a chromosomal disorder that affects the whole body. The fact that you lump them in together and claim to be a professional is very worrisome to me. I wouldn't want someone who would do that to work with either my kid or me.

------------------ Taken into PMs ---------------------

Judge: I didn't want to continue this on the forum. I don't want you to think that I am having a go, because I am not. What is being talked about it actually quite contravercial in the area caring for those with learning disabilities and Autism. You seem fairly bothered by what I am saying, so I won't continue and try to 'make you see things my way'. I will say that what I have been taught is based on what people with those sorts of disorders and conditions believe about themselves and wish other to see them as. It is also not medically correct to say that it is a mental illness and this group of people dislike that assumption.

I can tell that you care, and I hope you can tell that I care too. I think that is enough for us to get along?

Me: I'm sorry, but if you want to believe that a mental illness is not a mental illness when medical professionals and individuals with the condition understand that it is, I cannot believe that you are not "having a go" or that you care. This is not a topic where "agreeing to disagree" will work. You (and by extension, the Competition) are telling me and other autistics that we do not have a real mental illness and are just incapable of growing past a certain point. You are infantizing us. The fact that you feel that you cannot say this in public also says that you know that there's something wrong with it. I've had this discussing with the Admin as well: There should be no hidden discussions. If you want to make a ruling that is contrary to reality, fine, but own what you are doing and be consistent. If you cannot accept one mental illness as what it is, then you shouldn't accept any of them. If your reasoning is that a person is born with autism and that's why it doesn't count, then none of the conditions that people are born with (ADHD, OCD, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia) should count. But don't make a claim that is not true and frankly, insulting, and then get upset when people call you on it.

Judge: I am really sorry that I have upset you. I can assure you, I mean no disrespect at all, and I speak from my experiance as person that works in the united kingdom with a whole range of children with various difficulties. I have worked with those with Autism too, though I do not consider it to be a learning difficulty, though I can see where it looks as though I have 'lumped' them together. I just happen to be a care worker that works with children with a range of conditions.

I am wondering if actually this is more to do with the countries that we live in? I don't know where your from, but in Britain, it's seen as politically incorrect. Based on neurological conditions and psychiatric conditions. Mental illness is seen as psychiartirc condition whereas as far as I have been taught in my own professional capacity, that Autism is Neurologial. In britain it is most definately something I would actually get in trouble for stating in the work place - as children with autism do not have psychiatric condition. If you are still unhappy with my explanation of myself and my words I can only apologise and research this myself further, I would not want to offend or hurt anyone - it's really not in my nature. I can honestly say that I am very upset that I seem to have caused offense or hurt through what I have said. Having heard your point of view, I take it seriously, and I mean no offense - seriously. I can tell that I have upset you, and for that I am sincerly sorry.

As for you thinking I am 'having a go' I assure you that I am not. I have spoken to you politely and respectfully, even if views differ. I can understand now that this is a senstive topic for you too, and I hope that you understanding where I am coming from with the term 'mental illness' and what it means where I am from, you can see that I don't mean to disrespect or belittle anyone. I only took the conversation of Forum as I thought it was senstive and I wanted to be respectful. That is my intention

Me: It might be a terminology issue. In the US, a mental illness is any condition which originates in the brain; affects the perceptions; and interferes with the ability to perform everyday activities (especially necessary social, work, or family activities). One would not assign a neurologist to the treatment team of an autistic, even though a neurologist may be brought in to rule out other potential causes of the symptoms. A psychiatrist would be, however, given that autism is often comorbid with other conditions which require medication and the autism often creates unique challenges in the individual being treated. A psychiatrist would also be the person giving the diagnosis of autism, which makes it a psychiatric condition, even if there aren't any other conditions diagnosed at the time of the initial diagnosis. A neurological condition would something like epilepsy or migraines. Basically, something which affects the way that nerves (including the ones in the brain) communicate with each other.

I apologize if I came across as too aggressive, but literally everything in my life has taught me that I cannot let things like this slide without speaking up. In order to get any kind of accommodation, one must be prepared to push against people dismissing the need for them, often by using the same language that you did. Years of advocacy work has also shown that a lot of people have misconceptions about what the real dangers surrounding individuals with various neurodivergences are. There is a negative connotation given to the term "mental illness", due to decades of villainization of psychiatric conditions. For that reason, a lot of people have pushed for use of the term "neurodivergence", "neurologically divergent", or "atypical neurology".

I really feel if you (and the competition as a whole) wanted to show sensitivity on the topic, then you would not have included it in the first place. There is a lot of discourse going on concerning how to respectfully handle representation in writing and there are entire blogs dedicated to how to handle that. I would love to see more encouragement to include accurate representation in writing, but what I do not wish to see is exclusion of smaller groups within a larger group on the basis that they aren't "really" a part of the larger group. That kind of gatekeeping is not helpful to anyone in need of that representation.

Judge: You should never apologise for taking these things and speaking up! I think it's great, and I have learnt something here, something I am greatful to have learnt. I would say you were defensive - in a good way! I would hate to make anyone feel like that they needed to defend themselves, or a group. Part of my job is pushing for things on the behalf of children, so I understand. I work specifially with children in the care system who don't have parents to fight for them. If you hadn't pushed, I wouldn't have learnt something that will change how I relate to people.

I can concour that the term 'mental illness' has negative conotations for people in the UK - in fact a lot of medical terms are deemed inappropriate. I think this is because culturally, people in this country have used many medical terms as insults and thus the meaning becomes intirely different. This isn't just in relation to Autism, many areas. I guess this could answer to why I was a little defensive also.

I do think that The Competition wanted to show sensitivity. I was not on board as Admin when the rounds were thought up, but as far as I am aware one of the Mods has experiance of this, and I can only assume that they would have wanted this to be used in a senstive and positive way. As I gather it's a subject of great importance to them too, from another angle.

If you have any ideas that you think would be beneficial for future rounds, something you think would be both positive and respectful, by all means mail them across. I am sorry if you feel that the competition didn't wish to be respectful. I cannot speak for everyone, but as for me, I respect you a lot, it takes courage to speak out in a public forum like that.

----------------------- Later ------------------------

Judges: [proceeds to extract revenge against the team as a whole for protesting]

Me: Yeah. "Courage" is needed alright.

Team: [proceeds to write submissions centered around their complaints with the judges] Suck on these lemons!

#Magi's Rants #Competition Work #Names Omitted Deliberately #Autism #Neurodiversity #No Editing of their words #Yeah That's Right #That's a Judge for a Writing Competition #TW: Ableism

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warlordess · 7 years

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your anons need to chill smh? First of all, you're a lovely person inside and out. Second, people literally get depressed and unhealthy without enough interaction and attention. Seeking it is healthy so don't use traits like that as an insult??? Besides which you aren't really an attention seeker from what I gather anyway, just open and opinionated. Lastly, if they really dislike you so much they need to just mute/block you and grow up. SMH I'm sorry you're havin to deal with this!

You know, when I was younger, a kid, I was bullied all the time, taken advantage by other young girls in the complex I used to live in who would like me one day when I had something to give them and hate me the next because I didn’t.

In high school, other kids turned this bullying physical. For instance, one guy that I had in an English class the year before spent our woodshop class the next year harassing me with his group of guy friends, talking about me. One time, the class had a project to make toy rockets and, while the teacher was outside testing some of them out, the guy came back inside and chucked a piece of wood at my back and then threw his rocket and hit me in the side of the head. This was because, in that English class from the year before, we had been assigned a project together. Now, this project was the first one I’d ever had that relied on out-of-class work/homework… The boy didn’t contribute more than a page of notes while I did my entire half, so we basically turned in half a project and received a D, and he blamed me for that. While I’d been telling my counselor at the school (and the teachers, and any adult who stood still long enough to hear me) that he had been bullying me, it wasn’t until this incident at the end of the year that they actually did anything about it.

I’ve had empty soda bottles chucked at my head, pencils, then there was the laughing, ridicule, harassment (not as bad but since it lasted longer/more consistently, it should be mentioned).

Bottom line, I spent most of my preteen/adolescent years being bullied and - fun fact - I’ve actually been a patient at the psychiatric hospital I now work at twice during my youth because of depression and anxiety disorders. I was also a patient at a childhood/adolescent psych facility for about a year.

The thing is, through all of that bullying, I didn’t know what to do so I shrunk in on myself, let it happen, let them all get to me. And again, when I got old enough to tell someone about it who should have been able to help, they didn’t bother pursuing a solution until the last week that it would have made any difference. And if there’s any reason not to tell someone that people are treating you this way, it’s because you’ve already tried and tried and failed since nobody listened to you before.

So as a young adult, I grew a sarcastic spine. I still have a lot of trouble asserting myself, but I’m getting a little better (and I’m going on 30 years old so… geez, took long enough). I have this thing where I don’t want to rock the boat, plus I can get emotional when it gets to a point and I don’t want that coming back to bite me in the ass. As the saying goes, if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all, right? And some people notice this. I have a tell where I’ll avert my eyes and, if I have a beverage, I’ll take a drink from it to occupy my mouth so nothing slips out in the meantime.

Now, while the internet is a terrible, god-awful place sometimes, the one thing I like about social media is that I have my own little corner where I can say what I want, feel what I want. And, if I think what I have to say is controversial/negative, I go out of my way to make sure it shouldn’t be seen by people who don’t want to see it. On tumblr, as I’ve said, I leave posts untagged and abbreviate/split common terms/words that get pulled up in a search. On Facebook, I only friend people I really know so what I post gets seen by the few I’ve screened beforehand. I believe that this is a lot more civil and respectful than a lot of people here. I think that everyone should care enough to do what I consider to be the minimum of social courtesy.

But then it comes down to what’s been happening over the past few days. People shouting at me to get over myself, I’m desperate, I’m an attention whore, I’m ugly, etc, etc. I’m surprised I haven’t received an actual open death threat recently (which has happened in the past, even as an adult). These people chase me down, come to my little pocket room of the internet, my safe space, where I should be allowed to say what I want (within reason, but I wouldn’t say any of the really terrible stuff anyway because I’m a decent human being, or so I think), and they attack me personally over it. So of course I fight back. I crack jokes, I respond in sarcastic GIFs, I give a logical debate as to why they’re wrong about this, that, or the other thing.

Like you said, it’s natural and healthy to seek some attention here and there. People thrive on people. People change people. And this is coming from an introvert.

So yes, when it comes to these kinds of people, I guess I do think I’m better than them. And the reason for that is because I don’t hide behind grayface to attack people personally - or to send asks/make posts at all. And, when I make a mistake - and I have - I pursue a solution or apologize. I’ve done it before a few times since joining Tumblr. (Hell, this happened recently between us but we both realized there was miscommunication, apologized, and moved on without consequence.)

I’ve found what I felt was the safest, most appropriate way to assert myself and state my opinions clearly and it’s taken me almost three decades to figure it out. And I refuse to let my voice and what little built up self-esteem I’ve accumulated over the course of my life be eaten away by these nameless, faceless people. At the very least, that’s one lesson I’ve learned that’s stuck with me. They’re meaningless.

They’re so scared to stand behind their own opinions that they won’t even attach a name to themselves. At least I have that going for me.

#asks #bullying #cyber bullying #anon hate #personal #long post #transboilink

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