#‘no worries!’ oh fuck off

[mycological-mariner]

My brother’s just left. Not feeling great bout it, perla because yes he’s my brother and I’ve missed the fucker, mainly because he’s just left with an infected leg.

Couple of days ago he had to change the dressings on it. And I’m thinking it’s a cut or a nasty scrape like he’d said. So, as Im cutting squares of bandage (already kinda sus for a cut), he rolls up his pant leg and There. There is a chunk of flesh missing. Boy had a hole in his flesh and was like “Just a cut that got a little infected, no worries!” YES WORRIES. I HAVE MANY WORRIES WHY IS YOUR FLESH GONE, WHITE BOY????

#it has to be a family thing #’oh don’t worry it’s just grievous bodily harm!’ #- every person on my mother’s side (including myself) #like BOY. you are missing FLESH. that is a hole I can stick my finger into! #and I’ve got a strong stomach I’ve been chopped up plenty times myself #but. when it’s your little sibling. and it’s clearly not been treated or allowed to drain #he’s training to be a medic and a part of me was like ‘you better learn from this son’ #chriiissssssst #he refused to take any of my pain meds and I finally got him to take a bottle in the end #it’s 100% some sort of family thing #dad’s side of the family stubs their toe and they languish in bed for a week like a sick victorian #‘no worries!’ oh fuck off #it’s looking better now at least #but still.

[inkskinned]

something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.

not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.

you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.

but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.

you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.

but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.

you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.

you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?

you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.

you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!

you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"

#this is very obviously about my battle with #ptsd #but i think it's also like a pretty apt metaphor for a lot of things like setting boundaries or going to therapy or choosing recovery #i was thinking about the 'comes back wrong' trope and i was like. oh no i have feelings about this bc i have mental illness #and once i stopped masking - i was WRONG. i was different #here's the good news: i am now INNUNDATED with love. fucking swimming in it. excelling at it. the people who stayed #learned my new self. my new different body and how i am different but i am trying. they have held me so tightly #and my life no longer feels quiet. it is not based in my suffering. it feels like i have been growing a tree in my chest #and now it is flowering. #it is so lovely to be surrounded by people who have said - oh! you cut off so many branches i was worried you weren't the same. but now... #... this is just a new you. and i love you. and i love that you're different and happy. #(but yeah also im nb so i was absolutely influenced by Trans things)

[mintaikcorpse]

Blitzø's face when Mammom was insulting Fizz was everyone's face while watching this scene

#and he made it seem like “he was just worried #oh fuck off with that shit #thats some abusive crap right there if ive ever seen it #blitzo #blitz #blitzø #fizzarolli #mammon #helluva boss

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

it just struck me how my queerness is essentially just me going "hmmm... nah <3"

#gender? nah <3 #romantic orientation? nah <3 #sexuality? nah <3 #someone hands me a form that asks what i am and i just fill in 'n/a' #i simply couldnt be fucked! with literally any of it! #honestly the somewhat recent aroace realization has been So freeing #i didnt know how much stress the constant performance caused... #and also now that i KNOW it was a performance? oh boy looking back is so fucking funny #absolutely unprompted #damn sorry past me... they really didnt know... #they were out there trying so hard to conform lmfaoooo #pretending to pine while genuinely thinking they were pining.... #trying to want a relationship while being So fucking stressed out and put off by the concept... #i may have been. somewhat of an idiot <3 #nah jk i wasnt! thats just how it is growing up in a romance oriented world #now all i have to worry about it making friends!!! #no more trying to flirt with cute cashiers! no more feeling Unnecessary Pressure! #im free....

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

hii 📓

Okay so the thing is that I wanted a “the Zenin raised Megumi instead of Gojo” fic but the thing is that I’m absolutely convinced that if the Zenin were the ones that took Megumi they wouldn’t actually take tsumiki too. The fandom consensus I’ve personally seen has been that she would have been taken and mistreated by zenin for being a female non sorcerer but I personally think they would have just straight up left her behind.

They only bought Megumi. They keep non sorcerers and women as servants in their compound but all of them are Zenin themselves. Tsumiki isn’t related and I couldn’t really see any reason why they’d want her. Which turned this into a fic where Tsumiki loses her brother, but she’s trying to find him again, she swears. I think of it as my “siblings doomed by the narrative desperately try to write a new one where they can be together” fic.

The thing is that Tsumikis mom was one of those people who thought love and consumption were synonymous. She had a habit of getting caught up with assholes and just… having both of them chew on each other for a while until it turns into this horrible fucking bloodbath.

Tojis just another loser her mom got caught up in, but he’s Tsumiki’s favorite out of all the losers, because he gave her her brother. Her mom marries this random guy she barley knows and Tsumikis pretty sure she does it so they can both ditch their kids twice as much, secure in the knowledge that there’s supposedly another person checking in. It works out great for them, because they both stop coming entirely. It’s fine, because Tsumiki has Megumi and Megumi has Tsumiki and they don’t need anything else.

It’s one of those things where they were in really unhealthy circumstances and it made their relationship a little bit unhealthy but not necessarily bad. They both had to grow up way too fast and deal with way too much too soon and become codependent on each other because they are, in the most literal way possible, dependent on one another. Neither of them know how to love in a way that doesn’t involve sacrificing themselves for their sibling, mostly because they don’t have a way that doesn’t involve that.

They’re in a sinking ship and tsumiki knows it. Their parents aren’t coming back. The money is going to run out sooner or later. Their problems are stacking up.

Megumi has confessed to her that he sees things that no one else does. When she asks him how he knows no one else sees them, he explains that they’d say something if they did and won’t say anything else. And she doesn’t know what to believe but she refuses to call him crazy. He tells her that monsters cling to her back and he fights them off for her. She patches up his bruises and cuts and tells him he’s brave and tries to figure out if she’s just imagining that her back feels lighter after. He tells her that there are dogs that only he can see that have started following him around, and she tells him she believes him and can never remember, later, if she meant it or was just saying it.

The last time Toji came by, he left them more money than tsumikis ever seen in her life, took them to ice cream, told them that he was sorry he was so shit at this and that the money was Megumi’s share in a payment. It was for something he was going to help daddy with later. Tsumiki and him were to use it to take care of themselves and be healthy, because Megumi couldn’t help him later if he wasn’t. And tsumiki was always afraid of what he meant by that, but in the end, she let it slip her mind. After all, Toji hadn’t been by in ages. He probably wouldn’t come by at all.

And he didn’t. But others did. Two men she’s never met before are waiting outside their building one day, and when they see Megumi, they laugh. But the thing that Tsumiki can never get out of her mind later is that she swears they weren’t looking at Megumi directly. They were looking at his dogs.

Tsumiki basically tries to get Megumi and powerwalk past them, but they’re a lot bigger and a lot stronger and there’s nothing she can do, really. They have a brief conversation about whether they should take her too, before one decides that Toji only sold him his kid and to leave the other behind. This makes both of them try to run, but there’s nothing either of them can do to overpower the men, and the men say that “Naobito would go ballistic if they left the ten shadows behind” so they take Megumi and leave her.

They put Megumi in a car and shove Tsumiki to the curb outside of it, and she tried to hold onto his hand, she swears. She grabbed at the car door even when the car started moving, and she banged on the windows, and she watched as Megumi kicked and punched and screamed inside, until one of them hit him and he went still. She ends up falling and hitting her head when the car picks up speed, and when she wakes up again, the cars gone and she has no idea where it went.

And it becomes a foundational moment for who she is. I think she was just intensely lonely before Megumi and poured a lot of herself into this idea of a family together. Tsumikis never able to shake the moment of her being outside the car and Megumi being on the inside, and not being able to get into him. She can never again get what she felt in that moment out of her head.

She goes to the police and tells them that it’s her little brother, his dad sold him but she wants him back, and they’re like “…”. The issue is that apparently her mom can pick up the damn phone if the police call and she shows up, spins some lie about how her and the stepdad split up and he took the kid with him, they never adopted each others kids so it was within his rights, Tsumiki was taking the separation hard and acting out. She lies, basically, because toji hadn’t kept up his end of the deal and dropped in to check in (neither had she) and his kid wasn’t her responsibility, he could do what he wanted with him. She doesn’t want the police poking around the way she lives. Just let the kid go because he’s probably dead and not her real brother anyway.

Tsumiki refuses to give up on him. They were both kids who no one cared about but they cared about each other and that had to be enough. But she’s seven with no support and zero idea on how to find him. She starts skipping school to look for him in random streets, puts up flyers, can’t go outside without looking for him. She gets held back a year in school because of how much she skips and she can’t bring herself to care. She buys him gifts on every birthday and writes him letters she can’t post because she’s going to find her brother and she’s going to prove to him that she never once stopped looking for him. She just. She needs him to know that she never stopped looking for him. She needs to find him and be able to honestly tell him she never stopped trying.

One day her mom comes back in clothes she can’t afford and comes with movers they shouldn’t be able to afford and announces a move they definitely can’t afford. Tsumikis absolutely opposed to going because if her brother comes to look for her, she needs to be in their old apartment so he can find her. She doesn’t have much of a choice in the matter. They have mysterious new benefactors who are setting up a trust to take care of tsumiki with a very generous stipend for her mom but they have to move to Sendai as a stipulation of getting the money.

It’s not until the attorney who’s managing her trust hands her a set of glittery blue butterfly hairpins that tsumiki realizes her mom sold her brother a second time.

The thing is that tsumiki had this one cheap set of butterfly hairpins she’d always stopped to look at in the store when she took Megumi to go grocery shopping. Shed never buy them, because they couldn’t afford it, but it was the thing she wanted most openly in front of him. She was always secretly really insecure about her hair, because they were the kind of poor where bar soap was a luxury they could only sometimes afford and kids at school made fun of how her hair was dirty and frayed. Megumi was the only one who ever saw how badly she wanted those stupid hair clips. If they had to give her a set of butterfly hair clips, it’s because he demanded that they did.

It’s basically implied that the Zenin are the ones paying for her care and upkeep due to an unspecified deal they cut with Megumi, but when they approached her mom with it, they added the caveat that Tsumiki had to be moved to a new city entirely and there could be no forwarding address left anywhere.

The zenins stance on tsumiki is, effectively, that she’s a weakness Megumi needs to be weaned off of. They honestly assumed he’d just like, forget she ever existed and he. Did not do that. He actually pitched a total bitch fit. Tried to scale the compound walls. Bit multiple people including the clan leader. But he’s got the ten shadows, he’s heir to the clan, and he can’t be caught up on some random non sorcerer who isn’t even a Zenin. They end up agreeing to pay for her to live very comfortably if he starts cooperating more but they want to make sure that he can’t ever find her again if he does ever succeed in running away.

Tsumiki is at once full of hope and hopeless, because on one hand, the butterfly clips prove that Megumi still loves her and remembers her, at least in her mind. But at the same time, she’s being moved to Sendai and doesn’t know how they’ll ever find each other again. She doesn’t honestly know if they’d recognize each other if they saw each other again. She wears the butterfly clips every day, even when she gets too old for the style, because she’s more confident about her brother recognizing them than her.

The thing about tsumiki is that she doesn’t understand hate. She just doesn’t. Her mom and toji always got caught up in these perceived slights and revenge and never once let go of the past. They’d destroy themselves if it meant taking down the people they hated with them. She never wanted that. She wanted to live with the people she loved and she’d happily turn around and forget everything, all the pain, all the searching, if it just meant she could go back to being megumis sister.

This isn’t about hate. This is about that moment outside the car, where her brother was inside and she couldn’t get in to him. This is about how helpless and small she felt when they shoved her to the curb and ripped megumis hand out of hers. She needs to make sure that when she finds Megumi, she can take him home again. So she decides she needs to learn how to fight.

Itadori Yuuji has the constitution of an ox and the strength to match it, and he is known for getting in fights with bullies and trouncing them so thoroughly that it’s never a question of who wins when the fight starts. He’s insanely physically capable and can hold his own in a fight with ease. He’s also nice and kind and Tsumiki’s comfortable enough asking him to teach her how to throw a punch or two.

She is bad at it.

So fucking bad at it.

But she never gives up, and Itadori is nice enough to keep teaching her despite how embarrassingly horrible she is at it all. He always asks her why she wants to learn so bad, she doesn’t seem to like it all, and she never answers his question honestly.

In their last year of middle school, their class has a trip to Kyoto. She, Itadori, and the rest of their group walk into some random restaurant in the city and have barely sat down when someone comes inside, starts searching every booth in the restaurant while shouting Tsumikis name.

And oh. They could recognize each other after all.

She looked for Megumi in every crowd she was ever in, but she didn’t consider that he was doing the same. Or that he would see her first.

Her brother grew up without her seeing it. Hes older, dressed in strange, expensive clothes, has a slightly bruised up face and split lip, but his eyes are the same, and he looks like the brother she remembered.

But a lot more nervous than Megumi ever was. He was a tiny, stoic child who didn’t take any shit and never showed fear, even when there were monsters that only he could see. But he’s nervous when he tells her that she probably doesn’t recognize him or remember him, but when she was a lot younger, he—

Megumi. He’s her little brother. Of course she remembers him. She’s been looking for him everywhere.

Megumi didn’t smile much as a child, but he smiles at her then. He tells her he doesn’t have a lot of time and she tells him that they can leave out the back, and he never let her hold his hand as a child but he takes her hand so easily in that second. And just for a second, she’s his sister again, and it’s everything she wanted.

They never make it out the back.

Two men come in. Megumi calls one of them uncle, and he goes stiff and flat the second he sees him. His uncle apologizes for his nephew, tells everyone that he always makes scenes when they’re out in public, tells him to apologize to the nice people and leave. Megumi was mistaken.

Tsumiki tríes to keep ahold of his hand. Really, she does. She tries to tell people to call the police. But megumis “uncle” steps towards her and Megumi slams him into a table, and then suddenly Megumi’s the one insisting that they leave immediately. They can go. It’s fine. They’re leaving. She loses ahold of his hand.

She tries to follow, but the other man restrains her. She learns that she’s better at slamming plates into peoples heads than she is at punching, and at this point itadoris Friend In Danger Override has been triggered and he fucking tackles the dude, which gives tsumiki the clearing that she needs to chase outside after her brother. She gets out just in time to see him be pushed into a car, and she’s had years to think about the last time this happened and figure out what to do differently. She throws herself in front of the car and refuses to move.

See her entire stance is that she’ll sooner get run over and killed in the street than let them do this a second time, but she also can see Megumi trying to fucking punch the drivers head in from behind because he’s about to hit his sister. His uncles trying to restrain him, and just for a second, she sees his hands make the shape of the shadow puppets he used to show her as children. Something invisible slams her out of the way just as his uncle knocks him out.

She picks up a rock and tries to smash in the fucking window with it, and itadori has to pull her out of the way to keep her from getting her feet run over when the car finally tears out of the parking lot. She goes ballistic on him for stopping her because her brother was right there and she lost him again and she didn’t even get the license plate. He was right there.

The police basically do jack all again. There’s no license plate, no names they can follow up on, and they’re still half convinced this is a settled custody issue even though tsumiki insists her brother was sold by his dad and is very plainly getting hurt wherever he is. Itadori is now a devoted advocate of finding tsumikis brother and reuniting them, and both basically kind of end up becoming really close to the other? He’s taking care of himself and his grandpa alone, she’s alone while her moms awol again, and they both become the others support system.

At one point, there’s this random girl and boy who doesn’t speak who shows up to their school for indeterminate reasons. The girl is bored and twirling her glasses in one hand while the person in a suit that they’re with asks the principal questions, and when tsumikis eyes catch at the right angle, she sees an invisible monster clinging to a classmates back through them. She realizes it’s exactly what Megumi always talked about and still remembers that the people who took him could see his dogs. She corners the two others in a room and tries to demand information about the invisible monsters or see if they know her brother or the people who took him, and immediately gets blown off. The fight escalates until the girl tells him that actually, yeah. She knows tsumikis brother. He is a very special person to some very powerful people, and the only way she can ever help him is to tell him that she’s let go of him and that he needs to do the same to her. That’s the only message that the people who have him would ever let get through, and his life would get a lot better as soon as he got it.

The people who have him would give him anything in the world, except for her. He could be a lot happier and healthier than he is right now if he just agreed to stop trying to find tsumiki. If she really wants to help her brother, then she needs to let him go.

Tsumiki nails her in the back of the head with a milk carton when she tries to walk away. It sloshes out on her. Tsumiki did not intend this. She cannot admit that fact. There are some actions you just have to own when you do them. She tells the girl that he’s her brother and she’s never letting go of him. She’s going to find him. They can’t keep him from her forever. She doesn’t care how long it takes her.

For a second, tsumiki really thinks this girl is going to kick her ass, but she doesn’t. She wishes her luck and tells her she’ll need it, and it’s only later that tsumiki realizes she slipped the eyeglasses into her pocket.

And as it turns out, her brothers monsters were real all along.

There was a knife that toji left in the frame of his bed. Tsumiki confiscated it from Megumi as soon as he found it, and it was odd and strange and gave her bad feelings when she held it, and it can kill the things that gather on her back. When she follows Itadori to their local high school and joins the occult club in an attempt to find more people involved in this world of invisible monsters, she wears the eyeglasses and keeps the knife hidden in her bag.

It comes in handy when her senpais are trying to open this thing and suddenly there’s like a fucking portal opening and Actually Let’s Not Oh Too Late Let’s Run Let’s Fucking Run.

They run.

Meanwhile at the hospital Megumi found out in very quick succession that his sister has fucking sukunas finger and also that there’s a very over enthusiastic himbo who is the self appointed vice president of the Find Fushiguro Megumi And Bring Him Home Club who absolutely fucking refuses to leave his side. Sorry who are you. Why are you so enthusiastic about finding him. Megumi sort of was the one doing the finding there was a whole tracking situation and him waiting dramatically in the shadows like they just did it.

Anyway they run very very quickly to tsumikis school where she is dodging she is serpentining this is a fuckton of monsters oh holy fuck is that her brother?

The fight goes bad.

Tsumiki manages to follow itadori and her brother out at a much slower pace because she’s not a freak of nature like itadori and shows up just in time to see her brother shouting at itadori to not eat the fucking finger while itadori is absolutely trying to eat the fucking finger.

She chucks her shoe at him. The finger goes flying.

Then the monster eats it instead.

Tsumiki: :o

Yuuji: :o

Megumi: fuck

Now there’s a bigger monster and the fight goes even worse. There’s a lot of shouting. Itadori ends up with her knife. Then he ends up getting eaten and they’re down both a knife and itadori, who’s probably fucking dead. Then megumis insisting she run and she’s insisting he shut the fuck up because it’s sort of taken a decade to get this close to him again and she’s not fumbling the bag now because of a monster on the rampage. Have a sense of fucking priorities here.

Then itadori bursts out of the monsters stomach with the knife like the fucking Kool Aid Man and the fight is suddenly very over. Good job, team.

Gojo rolls up to his most stoic and eternally pissed off student having a dramatic and emotional reunion with his sister.

Yuuji, in a very bad whisper: no no so like she’s been looking for him for years but he saw her in the restaurant

Gojo: :o go on

Yuuji: and then he got caught by like, I don’t know, he said he was his uncle or something but the dude acted so weird and creepy and they put him in a car and Tsumiki tried to stop the car but they got away

Gojo: *gasp* what no

Yuuji: I know! Anyway then I start helping her look for him but we can’t find him anywhere until I’m at the hospital and he just walks up to me right?? And I’m like “dude I have been looking everywhere for you” and he’s like “I have no idea who you are, I’m here about that fucked up demon finger” and I’m like—

Megumi, really trying to have a moment here: we can both hear you

And megumis like “this is uh. My new teacher. I guess. I am his only student. And he is uh. Enthusiastic. Do not linger in conversation with him.”

Tsumiki is lingering. She needs fucking intel so he can’t disappear again. Where does he go to school and can she transfer there. It’s fucking wizard school? Will they take her even though she’s not a wizard? She cannot emphasize enough that she will study any fucking subject they want so that way she can be close with her brother again she does not care if it’s applicable to her education or life. She can throw things at people itadori tell the man tell him how enthusiastically she will throw things at monsters for their weird fucking wizard school.

Itadori: she hit me in the face with her shoe like five minutes ago

Tsumiki: see???

Megumi keeps trying to forbid her from wizard school but she’s technically the older sister so she has override rights. She will go to wizard school. How does she get wizard school to accept her.

And Gojos just really weird and off and keeps looking at Megumi and saying that he “didn’t know he had a sister.”

He really didn’t know that Megumi had a sister he wanted to stay with.

And then suddenly it’s like a switch is flipped and he’s back to his normal self telling them to leave everything to him, because he’ll make sure tsumiki can come back with them. And uh? Itadori? Weirdly physically capable kid who will apparently eat anything? Is he going to be good getting home after all this?

Itadori: actually if it’s not too much trouble can I go to wizard school too my grandpa sort of died half an hour ago and I don’t have plans for the rest of my life. Tsumikis kind of my best friend and I’d like to make sure she’s all good at wizard school. I’m a really good fighter and I stabbed the last monster so like can I come too because you know. Dead grandpa. No family or future to speak of. Haha.

Gojo:

Megumi:

Tsumiki, softly: dude

There’s more after they make it to jujutsu high but this is already really long so we leave it here

#ask games #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #continuing my streak of becoming obsessed with minor background characters #other highlights include itadori trying to platonically wingman for tsumiki with her brother (because it’s been like a decade and she knows #nothing about him and he knows nothing about her and she’s terrified he won’t like her once they get to know each other again) so that way #itadori can be the one asking the get to know you questions and tsumiki doesn’t have to admit out loud that she and her brother know nothing #about each other only the inherent problem is that her brother is actually unfairly pretty and has a sort of dry wit and is reserved but #when you get to know him he’s such a genuine dude and oh fuck oh no he’s in trouble this is his best friends long lost brother he has to be #violating some kind of code here. Kugisaki stop laughing at him this is a crisis. #gojo basically backed out of teenage fatherhood when he saw Megumi walking around with the divine dogs because it’s one thing to butt heads #with a major clan over an outcast member it’s another to do it for their most sacred technique #he thought that Megumi would be better taken care of than anyone else in the clan as the person with the ten shadows and that he’d probably #be better off than with an emotionally broken seventeen year old who works at least 28 days a month and has no idea how to raise a child #he never realized that Megumi had a sister he wanted to stay with who the Zenin separated him from #he tells himself he would have intervened if he had known because he’s been secretly worried and guilty about not taking in Megumi after all #since Maki showed up and said some worrying things about the clan heir and his standard of living and got the confirmation when he met #tsumiki and realized that he could have kept them together all those years ago and didnt. megumi and tsumiki kind of haunt him with lost #potential because not only could they have grown up a family but they could have grown up his family. megumi doesn’t know why satoru gojo #of all people is being so weirdly helpful and intense about about sponsoring tsumiki and keeping her close to him

[camellcat]

WTFFF I thought thirteen would be my new girl crush love of my life heart eyes wife you-came-after-twelve-you-must-be-better-than-they're-all-saying bbygirl and then I had to sit down and watch as she told a man who (if he were not a murderer, of course) literally every regeneration before her would've LOVED and FULLY SUPPORTED that "the systems aren't the problem. how people use and exploit the system, that's the problem. people like you" </33333 !?!?

#WHERE IS THAT POST THAT SAID NINE WOULD KILL THIRTEEN FOR BEING A CLASS TRAITOR #WHY WOULD YOU SAY “ERODE PEOPLE'S TRUST IN AUTOMATION” ALL WORRIED AND CONCERNED LIKE THAT??? #WHEN DID YOU START LIKING AUTOMATION OVER PEOPLE THINKING AND DOING THINGS FOR THEMSELVES??? #AND WHY ARE YOU TRAVELING WITH A COPPER??? WE HATE COPPERS?????? #did we FORGET into the dalek?? how about how he treated danny?? god there's so much more I can't even remember off the top of my head #(I understand soldiers are different from cops but c'mon don't even PRETEND twelve would've been any nicer if blue or danny were just COPS) #also a bit off topic bUT MAY I JUST TALK ABOUT ARACHNIDS IN THE UK FOR HALF A GODAMNED SECOND— #I know the companions are usually the ones to do the doctor's dirty work here but like #I just can't see the other doctors NOT having the business man lure the spider for being so fuckin annoying about it #like I was genuinely surprised when they had him do that whole song and dance about not doing it and then he actually just. didn't do it #the doctor LOVES fucking with evil rich business men this is PERFECT. plus why not get back at him for being awful to their companions? #absolutely gobsmacked thirteen let him act like that. I am wrong in thinking that the others would've shut his shit down a LOT quicker?? #anyways. I love jodie whittaker and it's just so upsetting to have her doctor do something so wildly off #THIRTEEN PLEASE I HAD SUCH FAITH IN YOUUU I WAS IGNORING THE HATERS AND FOR WHAT #I can SEE the other doctors in her still I can FEEL them they're there she's doing an AMAZING job but. oh my god. what did they make her do #I can't even say she feels ooc as a whole because jodie is bloody brilliant. it's just these... moments. that don't make ANY sense to me... #especially coming off of twelve?? I get the radical personality switch but that belief is a core part of the doctor. or at least I THOUGHT #thirteenth doctor #doctor who #I still love all of you who love her and reading ur posts/fics but I. will not be making any myself. I do not think.

[gumy-shark]

<- god's wettest most pathetic most stressed most anxious beast btw

#i have a flight in 2 days and i hate airports they stress me out so much too many people *vine boom* #i lost my driver's license last month so i'm gonna have to get through the tsa without legal photo ID *vine boom* #the flight takes off at 7am meaning im gonna have to wake up at like 4 to get there *vine boom* #it also means i need to stay the night tomorrow with some family friends i barely know *vine boom* #so i need to do laundry and email teachers and shit Tonight *vine boom* #my ride busted a tire and got stranded in the middle of nowhere so now i have to worry abt his safety and also find a new ride *vine boom* #AND I'VE GOT A FUCKING LAB DUE TOMORROW #so now im just doing homework and daily tasks and whatnot walking around all chill like i dont feel like the most stressed being alive #conclusion: oh shit the Creature is back

[dootplusone]

(OG post has Reblogs turned off. You can find it here!)

(OG post has Reblogs turned off. You can find it here!)

(If the OP would prefer this post not link back to the OG post or is otherwise is not okay w/ this post in reference to theirs, please let me know in some form so I can delete/edit it as needed.)

Thinking. Abt this but with Bones. Like. Post-Tholian Web? Post-Mirror Mirror?

For AOS, could be after Into Darkness and/or Beyond.

A Bones who's just. So anxious. So stressed. So overwhelmed that it starts taking a toll on his health. Maybe he doesn't even realise - or maybe he does and tries his best to push through it until it knocks him on his ass. Kind of in the vein of "You don't actually know how tired you are until you stop. And then you just physically cannot start again." It becomes his new baseline, a problem that just brews and storms in the distance.

And he just carries on. And keeps going and going and going until one day he realises that 'Oh fuck, I'm not okay' and has about 5 seconds of warning before he straight up collapses, doesn't matter if it's on the bridge, in the madbay, on a planet - he's going down. (Maybe a repeat of Tholian Web where he just straight up faints into Spock's arms? Full whammy, why not)

Maybe it's a high-tension situation getting resolved that does it. The pure relief of it reminds him of how tired he is. How tired he's been for a while. His body sees that momentary rest and goes "More of that, please. And I'm not asking."

And he's so rendered by it that he doesn't grumble about being coddled like he normally would when he wakes up. He knows not to fuck with the medbay staff - they're just as firm as he is on recovery, and that's not by accident - and he knows that Spock and Kirk will be hovering, because they see any problem as something they, too, should shoulder the burden of.

...And because they're some of the most protective people in the damned universe. And that goes for pretty much all the people on board the Enterprise.

In some scenarios, it's just a case of letting his body and mind rest properly. In others, there's a lot more recovery involved than anyone initially expects. Luckily for him, he has a found family who are determined to be there with him at every step. It just takes a couple reminders, every once in a while.

#leonard bones mccoy #star trek tos #star trek aos #whump #back on my bullshit #aos bones fretting over Jim and Spock and their injuries; completely forgetting that hes also a little worse for wear #thinking back to dustykneed's post abt him being fucked up and grieving after ST:ID and. Lets just make it even more physical #After the issues they face from that; Spirk are more aware of Bones' tendency to brush things off. are more equipped to take care of him #when he needs it; just as he does for them. He's so stubbornly self sufficient and it worries them. But they're equally as stubborn and #loving. Unstoppable Force meets Immovable Object. I feel like post ST:ID is where they kind of Learn that Bones keeps shit on the down low #Because like. Bones will complain. Unless it's smth that's just affecting him. And then he suddenly keeps it to himself. When he complains #abt that whole fiasco he complains abt Jim dying. Abt Spock almost dying on that planet. About how they all almost died. But he doesn't tal #about how HE almost died from that fucking torpedo almost blowing up on him. Not a word. Jim forgot it had even happened until like. Carol #brings it up in passing. Maybe she has nightmares on the incident. But he realises Bones has just NEVER fucking mentioned it despite him #being the master complainer. That sets off the first alarm bells. And then maybe Uhura asks Jim how Bones is doing bc she knows that Bones #would just say he's fine. But Jim is like ??? Bc why wouldn't Bones be okay. And then she realises that HE HASN'T realised that Bones is th #kind of motherfucker to suffer in silence. and she's like Jim. Jim he literally ran himself to the ground trying to revive you. Jim. Are yo #kidding me have you NOT TALKED ABOUT THAT??? ANY OF IT??? Thus... Jim realises or maybe even Remembers what Bones is like #bc maybe at some point he DID know Bones well enough to know when he's fucking himself over. But all the Bullshit that theyve gone through #and the fact they work in entirely different parts of the ship kind of. Alienated them a bit. And suddenly hes like. Oh. Oh No. Oh FUCK. #because Jesus how the FUCK does he even approach this. But he manages it. And Spock gets in on it too as he slowly gets to know the doctor #And then post-beyond its like. Yeah. All three of them gang up on each other. That includes Spock and Kirk making sure Bones is as Fine as #he always says he is. #anyway. Yeah. I just think Bones probably stresses and overthinks too much but god forbid anyone comfort him. Self sacrificing bastard #wow this is a lot of alphabet soup im so sorry AHAHA

[fuckspn]

i have nothing funny or clever or insightful to say. cas told dean he loved him and then he died.

#the fuckspn rewatch #i'm so. #listen i am not in spn hyperfixation mode i have been kind of slogging through the last few weeks of this watch #and so i worried the love confession wasn't gonna hit the way i wanted it to #but folks let me tell you. it hit. my god did it hit. quite literally started tearing up towards the end #also fuck OFF that whole speech is so romantic actually?? it's one thing reading the words or hearing fragments in amvs #but actually watching the whole thing in context start to finish is like. oh my god cas is IN LOVE with dean. #people who think it's platonic are quite literally just stupid and not just because of the 'the one thing i want i can't have' thing #it's just start to finish so obviously achingly romantic and misha clearly played it that way #(side note: misha's acting is actually... really good in that scene?? like i'm kind of obsessed with his line deliveries) #(the speech could easily come across incredibly clunky but he made it sound very easy and natural) #'i have nothing to say' she says and then proceeds to write a fucking novel in the tags lmao

[wrongcaitlyn]

yk what just kinda frustrates me a bit? it’s that whenever someone hates on taylor swift, i need to defend her, not bc i think she can do no wrong ever, but because they always choose the wrong things to criticize.

like if someone tries to say shit abt the i hate it here 1830s lyric to me? i’m obligated to point out that uh no it’s not racist, literally look at the next fucking line, you idiot. she’s saying the exact opposite of what you’re implying. nostalgia is a mind’s trap.

and if someone tries to call her a climate terrorist, then i’m going to have to point out that yes, she uses a private plane a lot, but she’s not even in the top 30 of celebs with highest carbon emissions. if you really want to criticize a celebrity and not the huge factories/companies that are polluting the air, then focus on travis scott

but like?? you could literally choose any argument that doesn’t have to do with literal false information. or better yet, you don’t even need a reason! say you don’t vibe with her music and that is literally none of my business. good for you. enjoy whatever music you like. but don’t try and put yourself on this moral pedestal for hating on this musician who doesn’t even know you exist and let me listen to the grand theft auto lyric in peace.

#wrongcaitlyn #both of these have been told to me at school bc i’m like the resident swiftie #and it’s just?? so fucking frustrating??? #like honestly even if they criticized the charlie puth or golden retriever line like i would have no defense #those are silly lyrics and i can vibe with them but if you don’t it’s fine #but when they go for such stupid arguments?? like really?? can you not think of anything better?? #oh right. you can’t. bc there’s literally not a reason i know of to hate this woman SO vehemently that you have to include it in every #conversation #i never bring up taylor swift at school #just bc i’m worried of coming off as annoying and obsessed (which tbf i am but i keep it to myself and online) #and yet i still end up talking abt her like 3 times a day because PEOPLE bring her up to ME #so am i (the swiftie) really the one so obsessed with taylor swift here? #honestly this may be incoherent i’m half asleep rn #but like i’m just sick of having to repeat the same arguments and coming off as some crazed fan just bc i wanna wear a taylor sweatshirt

[whumpshaped]

.

#so im working on some disabled whumper stuff #bc i got many good prompts for it #and i keep thinking abt this one guy who i think highlights how “prosthetics can be useful but overall theyre clunky and bothersome” #i used to play tabletennis right #and this guy was missing a leg #so he'd wear the prosthetic leg when walking around bc it was easier #then take it off before he came to play #he was a MEAN fucking player bro i love him #i remember my doubles partner saying 'ive heard theres a rule for not dropping the ball right behind the net' #'bc wheelchair users cant reach it' #and he grinned and said 'oh dont worry abt it. hit the ball wherever u like' #him and his doubles partner OBLITERATED us😭😭 #to be very fair these were men in their 40s and we were like 12 #but like we have been competitively playing at that point for years and years and years #i lost soooo many matches to this man ok #AND I ALSO MUST HIGHLIGHT. DO U UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH MOVEMENT IS NEEDED WHEN U PLAY DOUBLES #U NOT ONLY HAVE TO REACH THE BALL #UR CONSTANTLY TRYING TO AVOID CRASHING INTO UR PARTNER #WHILE ALSO LETTING THEM REACH THE BALL #THAT MAN WAS NIMBLE #i think abt him a lot #also one time when i was like 9 we were sharing one changing room in the sports centre #and i didnt know that #(we were usually all afab so it wasnt unusual that the other changing room stayed locked when we had like one (1) man there) #(we'd just take turns it was no biggie) #(especially at like 8pm) #and i go into the room and theres a Leg #BRO I ALMOST SCREAMED AJSJDKSKSKSKSKSK #anyway..... back to writing. but i think abt him every time i question whether a disabled person would be able to do A Thing #irlshaped

[natjennie]

does anyone out here have a dad that isnt an asshole all the fucking time. like is it even possible.

#thinks we're ungrateful and incapable and lazy for lemme check. being disabled #and then when we rightfully call him out on his dick behavior he gets mad and slams things and mutters under his breath #and is like 'oh great so its MY FAULT' #and tries to push the narrative that now we've upset him and he's gonna feel like dogshit for the next two hours like. #congrats. that's how we live our whole fucking lives because of you. im always thinking about what he's gonna get pissed off at next #and how im not enough for him and how he's gonna be mad i couldnt do something #when he says shit like 'we need to teach them to sponge-wash the dishes' #like we're morons. like we dont know #we tried to LOAD the dishwasher and got so nauseous and yucked out we had to switch off every couple items #and both heaved over the trashcan #you think im not doing it specifically to make you upset? you think I CAN and im just choosing not to? #god he makes me so mad. and sad. and full of grief. #and worried for my sister #because she's bipolar and his provocation has a very real not unlikely chance at making her suicidal #it's such a mess #and its unfair for her and its unfair for me

[martyrbat]

so many of you talk about the cruel adults in your childhood that negatively effected you and caused lifelong insecurity yet you're still perfectly fine with being that mean stranger to any kid that has the misfortune of existing around you and thats just really gross !!!

#like i get kids can be overwhelming for a various amount of reasons but its not going to kill you to treat children with basic human decency #adults can be just as overwhelming or annoying—if not more. yet if you talked to an another adult the same way you do to a kid #then ppl would fucking hate you and not want to be around you because youre not being cool and witty—youre just mean!!! #everyone has experienced the frustration of being a kid being mistreated by an adult. some more than others #rather its ignoring your bodily autonomy (from sa and assault to hugging you when you don't want to be touched to not letting you #make your own harmless choices like a haircut or whatever). everyone has been talked down to or had their opinion treated like its nothing #or that their thoughts or input doesn't matter. everyone has a childhood experience with a mean or judgemental adult #yet over and over ppl are fine just repeating that cycle of abuse and hatred #like youre a young adult and youre still getting treated like shit by older ones. but youre able to have a drink or you graduated or smthn #so now you feel like you earned that right to be judgemental & angry & mean to a group of people that didnt fucking do anything to you #anyways. this is because im sick and had to go to the store to get groceries and meds #so its a 20 minute walk to the nearest store in 108 degrees bc i dont have gas money and then in the store im ofc using a face mask #like im sweaty and feel disgusting and like shit but this kid was SO fucking excited about his spiderman toy and wanted to talk and #his mom said ‘i told you no one wants to hear about that crap leave her alone’ and like?? no fuck off let a kid be happy?? hes not fucking #doing anything wrong?? so we talked and he showed me the little tiy that lights up and asked if i saw the new spiderverse movie #and i told him i havent! so he asked why so i explained i have photosensitivity and what that means and why i cant see it #(‘even though i heard its super cool!’) and HE WAS SO SWEET... like immediately hid the toy because oh! flashing lights can hurt me! #and then immediately said dont worry because he'll tell me about it so its like i saw it instead! #and like. guys imma be honest with you. i stilm got no fucking idea what this movie's plot is. #but you bet your fucking ass i was pretending like i was following along & was going ‘no way!’ ‘so it's a parallel universe...?’ ‘oh wow!’ #like yea its unnecessary. i felt oike i was gonna collapse and im still struggling to breathe at home now. but also i been the kid #who just wanted to talk about my interests and no one wanted to or was dismissing it. #i know it's not a end of the world deal but i also know that crushing feeling. you gotta be the kindness you want to see in the world yknow #anyways. be nice to kids or im not going to be nice to you. they're one of the most vulnerable members of our society and deserves kindness

[newfeeling77]

i get so frustrated with ppl who wont just fucking help themselvessss. obviously theres a spectrum of pain and subsequent ability when it comes to mental illness but ive known so many people specifically gay people who let themselves live in squalor all while going to therapy taking medication and claiming to take care of themselves. thats the thing self care is NOT doing nothing, self care is actually doing the dishes sorry. its taking the trash out. calling the doctor and making an appointment. being an ADULT. i live with two people in their mid to late 20s who only do a chore once every few weeks and if i ever deign to bring it up i get either aggressive or apologetic responses about depression and struggle. as if im not constantly struggling. i force myself to do things bc they make me feel better… me and you are not all that different. ignoring your human life maintenance or outsourcing it to other ppl is the biggest form of self harm thats become normalized in certain communities

#btw if i go to your house n its a fucking mess it’s disrespectful sorry. to me #like again it’s so normalized in gay spaces from my experience. like oh don’t worry abt cleaning the bathroom its just friends from the bar #coming over. #like um no im sorry im not a fucking animallllll #sorry im angry abt chores today n that post set me off. #if everyone in my house did their fair share itd be incredible #its mostly my sister’s boyfriend but atp i cant tell if theyre really struggling or just stupid. its been 3 years living w them. #he straight up just throws his fast food trash on the floor all around him in his office doesnt give a fuck #i cant ask him to do anythinggggg he treats it like a personal attack #like if youre actually this incapable of taking care of yourself you need to go to the psych ward . #its the constant weed smoking like theres not one second of the day they arent high #and they dont shower enough either whole house stinks sometimes. id kill myself but good for them i guess

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

what the hell is happening on this site some asks are Completely gone from my desktop inbox, but on mobile they're there???? mf i just spent ten minutes trying to find asks i was SURE i had received

#it was like Oh Fuck Have I Already Answered These???? #starting to think that my memory is Worse than i thought #i still feel like one or two are missing... #i combed my archive and they arent there either #i Realized Something Was Off because some of them gave me the perfect set up for one of my favorite bits!! #now im very worried that some asks people have sent are just. gone. #maybe it was a reply...? i dont know.... #oh to have a brain that Functions #cant remember jack shit!! #absolutely unprompted #im trying to answer some non-art asks #since i'm not sure if i'll scribble much of anything tonight #too much happened! vaccumed! readjusted my room after the Cleaning! watched a show with a good friend! played with cats! killed a spider! #formulated a response to a response! ate a salad! showered! #see: too much happened and now its almost 4 am #plus i just dont know if im feelin scribbly tonight #which happens it Happens #if i spend too much energy i simply don't have it in me anymore #tomorrow! tomorrow i will doodle! #i will do more laughingstock and make some ask responses and also draw more greaser au for my Friend <3 #unless something happens and i run out of energy again. ill try to be careful about it

[suntails]

Hiya!

I saw your SilRuggie post and I feel you on the "Silver and his many boyfriends" part.

Idk what it is about Silver but he's so... Shippable?

Like I ship SilVil, KalimSil and JadeSil which are kinda popular. But it's also stuff like RidSil and LeoSil (oh so much brainrot currently about LeoSil,) Which aren't as popular.

He's probably my most shipped character like... EVER.

(I may have gotten some ship names wrong)

IT’S THE CHEMISTRY IT’S THE WAY HE HAS CHEMISTRY WITH SO SOSOSO MUCH OF THE CAST!!! he’s so deeply just…good, and he cares so earnestly, and he has examples of interactions with almost fuckgng everyone at this point. like i can understand why someone would ship just abt any silver ship, i GET it, bc theres so much potential. i think i have like…3? that im neutral on? maybe?

also hearing u associate silvil with the kinda popular ones, im fuckign weak at the knees. that is incorrect but im pretending ur right bc it makes me oh so happy

#ask #nervouslywaitingforlife #its the way i like all of em. i love him he deserves love #silvil i have a manifesto abt #silkali i think they are best friends in LOVE with each other but specifically as friends. not that they love each other tho. theyre IN LOVE #does that make sense. IN LOVE as FRIENDS. IN LOVE. theyre married #jadesil gives me ‘theyll take rugged nature walks together’ and jade is so refreshed to have someone so sincere and sweet in his life #someone u can read like a book someone who will earnestly appreciate u. silver will love jades dedication and isnt put off by him like most #bc he sees ppl for the good in them. wipes a tear #silrid i feel so strongly abt. i firmly believe theyd be very sweet and good to each other. horse girls. riddle picked sil specifically for #his master chef partner. he chose him intentionally. silver acknowledges and appreciated riddles dedication and work ethic and talks highly #of him. in book6 ch6 iirc thats when riddle gets taken by styx and the way silver SHOUTS in worried fear. he LOVES him #i do think theyd get divorced but not in a funnt leovil way in a sad ‘things just arent working despite us loving each other’ way. adult yk? #leosil should take naps together. those are my thoughts. i want ruggie and sebek to find them passed tf out in the gardens on a reg basis #and this only scratches the surface of dear catríonas thoughts on sil ships. u didnt even mention silsebe and thats his most popular ship #i like him w ruggie too and jack and jamil and and and and AGGHHH dies #ADDING TO MY TAGS. FORGOT TO MENTION SILIDIA TOO. OH MY GOD THE FUCKING POTENTIAL AAAAAAGGHHHH take me off the stage i could ramble forever #me violently pointinh to my conspiracy board and detailing his chemistry with every single person in the cast