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pesterloglog · 3 months

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Roxy Lalonde, Jade Harley, Calliope, Aradia Megido, Sollux Captor, Karkat Vantas, John Egbert, Gamzee Makara, Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde, Kanaya Maryam, Jane Crocker, Jake English

Candy, page 21

ROXY: thx everyone for joining us today

ROXY: we are gathered here to honor the memory of alternate universe jade

ROXY: alas we hardly knew her

ROXY: by which i mean we didnt know her at all

ROXY: cuz she fell out of the sky like a week ago and was already dead

ROXY: but i think that based on our long acquaintanceship with alive jade we can safely assume that she was totally rad

JADE: (ugh)

ROXY: so were all here to contemplate the vast cruelness of the universe that such radness was plucked in its prime

ROXY: psst callie the roses

CALLIOPE: oh, of coUrse!

CALLIOPE: pUrple roses traditionally represent love at first sight, however these roses are actUally red roses that we prepared Using a blUe dye.

CALLIOPE: the blUe rose is the most elUsive and mysterioUs of all flowers.

CALLIOPE: the combination of red and blUe in this context is meant to evoke the dUal natUre of death, in that there is nothing more mysterioUs and impossible to comprehend than the vast void of the afterlife, bUt also there is nothing that makes Us appreciate the life and and love that we already have than the mystery of death.

CALLIOPE: while death is terrifying, there is always joy to be foUnd among the sorrow. each time we witness death, we fall in love with the important people in oUr lives all over again.

ROXY: woah callie thats a beautiful metaphor

CALLIOPE: aw, thank yoU roxy. u_u

ROXY: dont sound so humble it is v v deep

CALLIOPE: i jUst can’t take credit for external inspiration.

ROXY: lmao cmon callie youre the literal muse

CALLIOPE: yes, bUt yoU’re...

ARADIA: oh no did we miss the entire corpse party

ARADIA: i hope not

SOLLUX: yes that w0uld be *such* a tragedy.

ARADIA: oh shush you

ARADIA: the tragedy is what i dont want to miss!

KARKAT: ARADIA?

KARKAT: HOLY SHIT... SOLLUX?!

SOLLUX: hey l0ser. it’s been a l0ng time.

KARKAT: IT’S BEEN A...

KARKAT: IT’S BEEN A “LONG TIME”?!

KARKAT: IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY TO ME?! IT’S BEEN MORE THAN A FUCKING HUMAN DECADE!

KARKAT: I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE DEAD.

ARADIA: no i wasnt dead

KARKAT: NO, I MEAN LIKE

KARKAT: “GONE FOREVER”??

KARKAT: I THOUGHT THAT YOU TWO LITERALLY DIDN’T EXIST ANYMORE!

KARKAT: OR AT THE VERY LEAST WERE TRAPPED IN A DEAD UNIVERSE PERPETUALLY COLLAPSING INTO ITS OWN ASSHOLE.

SOLLUX: 0h. n0pe.

KARKAT: FINE!

KARKAT: WALTZ IN HERE WITH NO EXPLANATION WHATSOEVER. SOUNDS ABOUT FUCKING RIGHT.

KARKAT: IT’S NOT LIKE YOUR SUDDEN AND UNEXPLAINED PRESENCE IS ANY LESS OF A JOKE THAN THIS “FUNERAL” WE’RE HAVING.

KARKAT: I MEAN, WHY STOP AT SOLLUX AND ARADIA?

KARKAT: MAYBE FUCKING NEPETA IS ABOUT TO POUNCE FROM BEHIND THAT GROTESQUE STATUE OF THE HUMAN SUFFERER T-POSING OVER THERE.

KARKAT: NEPETA, ARE YOU THERE? COME ON OUT! THE CORPSE PARTY WOULDN’T BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU!

ROXY: SHOOSH everyone!

ROXY: there will be a reception with cake n candy after the service

ROXY: u all can have ur poignant reunions then

ROXY: before we unite in tearful togetherness we gotta unite in tearful loss

JOHN: wait... there’s more?

JOHN: i thought that nice speech callie made was, like...

JOHN: pretty much the funeral.

ROXY: lol no

ROXY: callie and i were just gettin started

JADE: oh my god...

ROXY: anyway where was i?

CALLIOPE: how the infinite mystery of death makes Us appreciate the love we have!

ROXY: right

ARADIA: so i see you managed to get out of the fridge

GAMZEE: i DiDn’T jUsT gEt OuT oF tHe FrIdGe, I wAs SeT fReE sIsTeR!

ARADIA: i see

GAMZEE: wHeN tHe DoOr Of ThAt FrIdGe pOpPeD oPeN iT wAs LikE i Be AlL sEeIn ThE lIgHt AnD sHiT.

SOLLUX: well yeah

SOLLUX: that’s what happens when s0me0ne 0pens a d00r t0 a t0tally dark encl0sure.

SOLLUX: fuck, i can’t believe y0u’re still this stupid.

SOLLUX: 0h wait i can.

GAMZEE: nO bRoThEr, It’S a MoThErFuCkIn MeTaPhOr.

GAMZEE: A mEtApHoR fOr ThE mIrAcLe Of rEdEmPtIoN!

ARADIA: redemption

GAMZEE: yEaH cHeCk It ThE fUcK oUt.

GAMZEE: i DiD My MoThErFuCkInG rEdEmPtIoN aRc. :o)

ARADIA: is that so

GAMZEE: i BeEn DoInG aLl KiNdS oF gOoD dEeDs At ThE lOsT mOtHeRfUcKeRs.

GAMZEE: pReAcHiNg ThE hOlY wOrD. mAkInG oUt WiTh OrPhAns.

ARADIA: oh hmm

SOLLUX: isn’t it “kissing 0rphans”?

ARADIA: let him talk sollux

GAMZEE: i EvEn GoT a HeAlThY mUtUaLlY fUlLfIlLiNg kIsMeSiS gOiN oN wItH tHaT fOxY hUmAn BrOaD uP fRoNt.

ARADIA: its so nice that you believe all that gamzee

ARADIA: i think i can honestly say

ARADIA: im reasonably happy for you?

ROXY: omg quiet in the back already!

ROXY: were tryin to have a beautiful and solemn proceeding up here

ARADIA: oh im sorry

ARADIA: i do agree that its a beautiful corpse party

ARADIA: but i think it would be even MORE beautiful if we could you know

ARADIA: actually see the corpse?

KARKAT: OH MY GOD ARADIA, WHY ARE YOU STILL LIKE THIS?

ROXY: oh lol ur right i cant believe that slipped my mind

ROXY: hey jake a lil help?

ROXY: im like hella pregnant here and shouldnt be doing any heavy lifting

JADE: ughhh...

DAVE: yo babe its ok

JADE: easy for you to say! youve got practice with this kind of thing!

DAVE: just remember its not actually your corpse

DAVE: i mean technically it is

DAVE: it both is and isnt your corpse at the same time

DAVE: which yeah the longer you think about it like that the more fucked up it gets

DAVE: but also when you objectively think about it the combined multiverse is a huge tangle of interrelated but totally random events and its only chance that this specific life is the one you ended up living

DAVE: you and that corpse could have just as easily switched places

DAVE: but also that would never actually happen because its not how paradox space works

DAVE: anyway my point is that nothing really matters so chill out

JADE: um, i love you with all my heart dave but youre REALLY not helping right now

ARADIA: now this is more like it

JADE: i cant look...

DAVE: oh

DAVE: here

JADE: uhh... what... are you doing??

DAVE: emotional support yo

ROSE: Dave.

DAVE: what

DAVE: id like to see you do better

KANAYA: Me Too Actually

ROSE: I’m sorry, but I’m not the one whose questionable consolation tactics are on trial here.

CALLIOPE: this isn’t a trial! it’s a fUneral!

JOHN: haha, they’ve got a point rose, you gotta admit.

ROSE: A point about what?

JOHN: um...

JOHN: you’re not great at consolation? just saying.

KANAYA: Oh You Dont Know The Half Of It

ROSE: Excuse all of you, but I’m an excellent advice giver.

JADE: umm nobody said anything about advice giving rose...

JOHN: oh yeah, the advice is top notch.

JOHN: but you’re kind of a weird person to like... cry in front of?

JOHN: no offense.

ROSE: What??

JOHN: the first time i ever got upset in front of rose irl, she put her arms around me and it was so awkward that i had to ask her if she was hugging me or reaching for something on the shelf behind me.

CALLIOPE: everyone, we’re getting rather off track...

ROSE: I was doing both for your information.

DAVE: the first time rose hugged me it was such a disaster we didnt make eye contact for like a week after

KANAYA: Jade Come Here I Shall Hold You In My Arms

JADE: thank you kanaya at least ONE of you knows how to treat a lady in distress!

JANE: Agreed. I’ve always felt that Kanaya has done an exemplary job of providing a model for compassionate, empathetic behavior, which others of her kind would do well to follow.

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?

JANE: I’m sorry, Mr. Vantas. Do you have another unsolicited political opinion you’d like to share with everyone?

KARKAT: CONSIDERING THE SHIT GEYSER THAT JUST SHOT OUT OF YOUR IGNORANCE CANNON, I’D SAY MY OPINION IS PRETTY FUCKING SOLICITED RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

CALLIOPE: EVERYONE!

CALLIOPE: be qUiet!!!!!

CALLIOPE: please. roxy gathered yoU all here for a reason.

CALLIOPE: at least listen Until the end.

CALLIOPE: after that yoU can argUe all you want.

ROXY: look everyone im not dumb ok even tho i act like it sometimes

ROXY: i know whats goin on here

ROXY: that were all drifting apart

ROXY: and i know thats just a normal part of growing up and making new families

ROXY: and i guess learning that some people have unbridgeable divides on political stuff

ROXY: i can accept that things arent gonna always be the same as when we first met

ROXY: specially with dirk gone

ROXY: damn...

ROXY: even though its been more than a year i still feel it like he died yesterday

ROXY: what callie said earlier about death being mysterious and full of love is true

ROXY: i dont know if i ever would have gotten up the courage to marry john if dirk hadnt died

ROXY: sometimes i think about what it would have been like if he was still here

ROXY: i think we can all agree that if dirk didnt kill himself there would be some big differences in the lives of people here in this room

ROXY: i cant say if theyd be good or bad

ROXY: maybe when it comes to this kind of thing... like

ROXY: infinite probability and multiple universes and shit

ROXY: good and bad dont matter

ROXY: theres no better or worse just different

ROXY: even with dead jade here whos to say that the world she came from was actually worse than ours?

ROXY: she probably died a heroic death doin something incredible

ROXY: we probably only have the great lives we do right now because of her sacrifice

ROXY: the universal odds of us all being alive and healthy and together like this are so infinitesimally low that its literally impossible for us to understand with our limited linear consciousness

ROXY: isnt that amazing??

ROXY: so even if this is the last time were all ever in the same room like this

ROXY: i think its just incredible we could be here in the first place

ROXY: out of a sempiternal number of possibilities we are the only incarnation of this exact specific moment in all of existence

ROXY: i think that we should all look around and be super grateful for what we

ROXY: wh... what we

ROXY: wh... wha...

ROXY: whoah fuck

CALLIOPE: roxy? are yoU okay?

ROXY: of course im not ok i just WENT INTO FREAKING LABOR

JOHN: oh my god!

JOHN: it’s happening, oh my god!!

JOHN: ...

JOHN: oh my GOD!!!

ROXY: omg john are you just gonna keep shouting oh my god or are you GONNA HELP YOUR WIFEY OUT

JOHN: OH MY GOD!!!!!

JOHN: doing ok there, sweetheart?

ROXY: ugh whyd i let you put this thing inside me

JOHN: don’t worry roxy! we’ll get it out as soon as we can!

JOHN: er, by “it,” i mean our child.

JOHN: we probably shouldn’t be talking about him in dehumanizing terms before he’s even born, huh?

JOHN: seems like kind of a bad omen?

ROXY: omg.......... john SHUT UP

ROXY: i need like six gallons of demerol STAT

ROXY: lets GOOO

JOHN: right! going!

CALLIOPE: wait! i...

CALLIOPE: i woUld like to be there as well!

JOHN: hurry up then!

JADE: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

JAKE: By jove!

DAVE: jesus fuck

CALLIOPE: jade! yoU...

CALLIOPE: yoU’re alive!

CALLIOPE: or, Um,

CALLIOPE: yoU’re not dead!

JADE: i am not jade.

CALLIOPE: then who...

CALLIOPE: who are yoU?

JADE: you know who i am, calliope.

JADE: we met once, years ago.

JADE: you were dead, and so was i.

KANAYA: This Certainly Is A Turn Of Events

ARADIA: ill say

ARADIA: at first i was underwhelmed with the proceedings i have to admit

ARADIA: but that was quite the twist

ARADIA: this may be one of the best death related celebrations ive ever seen :)

SOLLUX: t0p five at least.

JADE: you’re undoubtedly surprised.

JADE: but these events were not unpredictable at all.

JADE: this is exactly what i have been expecting to happen.

JADE: and while i cannot say the same thing for the rest of you,

JADE: i, at least, am exactly where i am meant to be.

JAKE: Hey uh.

JAKE: Not to come off as a total idiot here but...

JAKE: Who were you supposed to be again?

JADE: my name is calliope.

JADE: i am the muse of space.

JADE: and i have entered this body to protect your world.

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #roxy lalonde #jade harley #calliope #aradia medigo #sollux captor #karkat vantas #john egbert #gamzee makara #dave strider #rose lalonde #kanaya maryam #jane crocker #jake english #candy epilogue #page 21

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genderstealer2000 · 7 months

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0h n0.... my s0uth p4rk hyp3rf1×4t10n 1z b4ck....

. . .

"OH MY GOD- THEY KILLED KENNY"

#south park #south park hyperfixation #otherkin #alterhuman #therian #canine therian #dog theriotype #therianthropy #dog otherkin #wolf therian #canine kin #dogkin #kenny mccormick #i love him

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coughloop · 1 year

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0h my god i hVE TO PLAy stardew valley right now like its my job and im running late. sorry sir wont happen again sir (talking to my pet cat Tony)

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disco-elysium-via-polls · 2 months

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🎵Disco Elysium, Pt 2

2. "You were wrong. I do believe you."

ACELE - "*Why?*" She raises a brow.

"Seems too ludicrous for a lie."

"What would you stand to gain?"

"Strange things happen."

ACELE - "I guess so." She hesitates. "Anyway -- what else?"

+5 XP

2. "I'd like to know more about your associates."

ACELE - "My 'associates'?" She blows on her chilled fingers. "I haven't got much to say about them."

"Just answer the question, please."

"What do you mean? You must know *something* about them."

ACELE - "Of course I do. I just don't tell people about my friends and who they are and so on. I don't provide information on them."

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - To the cops.

"What about you? Tell me something about yourself."

"A-ha. Okay. Maybe I'll ask later about all this."

ACELE - "Me? I'm a silver bird."

+5 XP

Level up!

"A-ha. Okay. Maybe I'll ask later about all this."

ACELE - "Don't know what makes you think it'll be any different later, but..."

New task: Get Acele to talk about her associates

7. "Actually, that's it for now." [Leave.]

There's a small path North between the church and the boardwalk.

These rusty gears used to turn the whole machine.

The building before you housed the engine. Must have been a big one.

The chain trails off into the ocean -- to who knows where.

This barrel has been recently discarded. It still smells of fuel oil.

DOOR (UNOPENABLE) - An old door, worn by elements, guards the depot. The wind has blown a sand dune in front of it. The door hasn't been opened in a long while. You see a handle.

"What is this thing anyway?"

[Interfacing - Impossible 20] Open the door.

Walk away. [Leave.]

KIM KITSURAGI - "It's military -- a service depot of some sort."

"Used to service what?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "The washerwoman mentioned a depot up the coast." The lieutenant looks at the hunching, concrete toad in front of him. "She said it was for moving ammo and cargo across the bay -- this might be it."

2. [Interfacing - Impossible 20] Open the door.

This check will never, ever, get any easier.

DOOR (UNOPENABLE) - You rattle the handle a bit, then push on the door with all your weight -- it does not budge. Not only is it locked, it's also *jammed* shut.

"Huh, the door's shut tight. How can we get in there?"

"Whatever, door." [Leave.]

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant shrugs. "We don't get in there."

"What do you mean? We get into… like… everywhere."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Frankly, you're just going to have to accept the fact that you can't get in through every single door."

RHETORIC [Easy: Success] - No-no, we've gotten into every door thus far. That's what we do -- we open doors. We're cops, that's our perk. Even Evrart knew that's a part of our M.O.

"But that's who I am. Who *we* are."

"I'm not gonna accept this. The door could be part of the investigation."

"Okay. I can live with this." (Accept it.)

KIM KITSURAGI - "Yeah, I understand you, I like opening doors as much as the next guy, but this one is simply beyond repair and we don't have the resources needed to open it."

"Relax. No one's hiding in there. If we can't open it, others can't either -- and thus they can't get in." He looks at the door with a rueful smile.

+5 XP

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - At least you can *think* about opening it. About doors in general -- they are, after all, fundamental to your life. Perhaps something useful will come from this?

Thought gained: One More Door

2. Walk away. [Leave.]

Temporary research bonus: +1 Half-Light: What is behind it? Research time: 0h 45m

God dammit, it cannot be. A disgrace! That door on the coast... you remember the one, right? The one that leads to the abandoned supply depot? Why, in the name of all that's holy, does it not open? *Why*?! There *has* to be a way to get through that unopenable door. By gods, you're the police -- all doors are supposed to open before you. What will the others at the precinct think if you can't open a goddamn door? There must be a way.

WHITE POLO SHIRT

+1 Rhetoric: What's polo anyway? -1 Empathy: No, really, what the hell is polo?

This shirt looks worn and smells a bit. You can't help but wonder -- who would leave it stuffed in a tare container? What kind of man would even *wear* a polo shirt? This might be one of life's mysteries that will never be solved...

TRAP: LAND'S END - This trap's not too hard to spot -- once you know what to look for. Keeping it hidden has not been a priority for the cryptozoologist.

Look around.

Reach for the trap.

[Leave.]

TRAP: LAND'S END - The reeds sway in the coastal breeze. They seem to be waiting for something.

SHIVERS [Easy: Success] - The wind picks up here, near the cape's end, surrounding the narrow strip of land from three cardinal directions. It's cold for this time of year.

2. Reach for the trap.

TRAP: LAND'S END - Nothing but locusts in this trap as well. Definitely no cryptozoological monstrosity.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Empty as all of them..." he pants. "*One* more of these and we're done..." His face is red from the cold sea air. He crouches to catch his breath.

"Bummer it wasn't in here…"

"You getting tired?"

"I *must* stress that I did not expect a cryptozoological monstrosity to be in this trap."

Say nothing, just put the trap down.

KIM KITSURAGI - "No-no. I'm fine. I didn't mean to complain, it's just..." He's short-winded. The sentence ends there.

2. [Leave.]

Cigarette butts, cleaned away under a rock: brand Tioumoutiri.

You take a mental note: Tioumoutiri. Seems important somehow.

Someone's made a campfire here, a long time ago.

A rusted, broken control box for the radio relay tower.

This ladder is too rusty to climb. The sea air has eaten away at it.

SCENTED SCARF

+1 Shivers: Springtime cold -2 Physical Instrument: Allergies

This light springtime scarf smells like men's cologne mixed with cheap laundry detergent. Someone must have left it behind, probably from a date? Wear it if you want to delude yourself that spring has arrived.

Tiny inlets there -- off in the far distance, where the posts trail toward...

This is the northmost point of the coast. We have now explored the entire world map.

I *am* sorry to do this, but I'm going to take control here. There are a couple of time-sensitive tasks in Martinaise that we need to do before evening falls. That's at 8pm, so we still have plenty of time *now*, but I'm worried about running out of time if we get too far into the church questline.

On our way back through the fisherman's village, I note that the drunks are here again, so we can drop off Doom Spiral's jacket later.

We will stop on our way to check the last trap.

TRAP: CANAL - It takes you a moment, but finally you spot the last of Morell's traps. This one's partially obscured by the reeds...

Look around.

Reach for the trap.

[Leave.]

TRAP: CANAL - The reeds bend forlornly toward the sand. Some tufts have been crushed. Snow covers the broken stalks like a shroud. In the east, the city centre hums to you.

SHIVERS [Easy: Success] - The constant, distant song. Louder on this part of the coast. Nearer somehow. And there's that cold again, always the cold...

2. Reach for the trap.

TRAP: CANAL - The trap feels light -- and silent -- as you pick it up. Something is different here...

Look closer.

TRAP: CANAL - No locusts!

LOGIC [Easy: Success] - No phasmid either -- but still...

(Immediately yell.) "It's empty!"

Look closer still.

TRAP: CANAL - Your voice echoes on the coast, carried by a gust of cold wind.

Look closer still.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant studies the trap with you. "Well, the bait worked on *something*. This doesn't mean it was a reed-monster, though. Unless you see one in there? I just see an empty trap..."

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Medium: Success] - The netting is a little untidy, messier than the others. Like someone or something picked up the trap and shook it before dropping it back down on the ground.

"I do get the feeling that someone or something may have messed with the trap..."

"But what if it *was* the phasmid? What if it ate them and got out?"

"Yeah, it probably *wasn't* the phasmid, but still. Morell needs to know."

"You're right. But I still need to tell the cryptozoologists about this."

"You're right. This crypto-research has been stupid."

KIM KITSURAGI - He purses his lips. "Perhaps our cryptozoologists have competition in the form of an actual entomologist? Or someone else is sabotaging them? I could present more theories, but then I would be taking this on as a case -- which I'm *not*."

"But what if it *was* the phasmid? What if it ate them and got out?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Right." It does not look like he thinks you're right. "Anyway, that's for the cryptozoologists to figure out now." He adds, for clarity: "*We're* not cryptozoologists -- we're cops."

We'll need to report this to Morell. To finish the task, if nothing else.

2. [Leave.]

🎵 Instrument of Surrender

The main reason we're back in Martinaise is so we can sniff out communists. We're going to do a couple of things on the way, though.

For starters, here's that hawthorne tree we heard about.

HAWTHORN TREE - The hawthorn tree on Rue de Saint-Ghislaine. Bronze-coloured ribbons of magnetic tape are caught in its branches, fluttering in the breeze.

SHIVERS [Medium: Success] - Just like promised... You've stood here for what seem like aeons, guzzling the sickly fumes of lorries and carriages.

"Piss off, nature!" (Punch the tree.)

"Good hawthorn." (Pat the tree.)

[Interfacing - Challenging 12] Disentangle the tape.

[Leave.]

HAWTHORN TREE - Patting the tree reveals a small sticker which has almost been worn to oblivion. It reads: "RCM Emergencies Desk No. 8-100-2". Underneath, a slogan: "Mankind, be vigilant!"

VISUAL CALCULUS [Medium: Success] - The bronze ribbon twists around and within the branches in an intricately natural pattern... but there's something...

What do I see?

Ignore thought.

VISUAL CALCULUS - There's a twisted logic in this mess... you see the ends of the ribbon, the way it flows, how it twists and turns... it's all starting to make sense. It'll be easier to remove now.

3. [Interfacing - Challenging 12] Disentangle the tape.

+1 Tape Release Calculations. +2 Karaoke superstar.

INTERFACING [Challenging: Success] - With slow and deliberate motions, pulling, bending and unravelling -- you manage to extricate the magnetic tape from the branches.

It curls up into a mess inside your pocket. If only you could find a way to re-spool it, so that you could hear what's on the tape...

LOGIC [Medium: Success] - Maybe Roy from the pawnshop can help you with this?

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant looks at the mess in your hands. Only after you've successfully cleaned up the branches does the curiosity get him: "What's the tape for?" he asks.

"It's for Egg Head. I promised to make his van Eyck's jam hit a bit harder. Maybe this tape can help."

"I'm too embarrassed to say."

KIM KITSURAGI - "How? It's broken and unspooled. Do you think your new buddy knows how to fix it?"

"He has to -- he's the Master of Ceremonies after all."

"I'd think at least one of the ravers would know how to fix a broken tape if they want to set up a nightclub."

"I'm not sure, but I'll find out. Maybe Egg Head can point me in the right direction."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Alright." Looks like the lieutenant doesn't really know what that means. "You could also get it fixed at the pawnshop across the street -- we shouldn't waste our time."

He looks at his wristwatch a little impatiently. "You know, since tape-spinning isn't really our day job. Solving murder investigations is."

INTERFACING [Medium: Success] - Good idea. He might have the tools -- the tape projector in the pawn shop uses similar tape...

3. [Leave.]

A BUNDLE OF MAGNETIC TAPE

The bronze-coloured tape was found in the branches of hawthorn tree on Rue de Saint-Ghislaine. It gleams whenever a ray of sun hits the surface.

Thanks to totally not bribing Noid, we have a lot of money. So the second thing we're going to do while we're here is buy stuff from Siileng.

SIILENG - "The shine on these sunglasses lasts a lifetime, officer! One hundred percent guaranteed!"

We're going to buy the Amphibian sports visor so we have a hat to give Acele next time we see her.

SIILENG - "Sporty *and* practical, officer! Good choice."

"AMPHIBIAN" SPORTS VISOR

+1 Perception: Beady suspicious eyes

The malformed green frog of the visor seems to keep an eye on your surroundings. A beady suspicious eye. The lime-tinted cellophane appears to be poorly molded -- the imprint says Made in Safre.

FALN SNEAKERS ON A PEDESTAL OF SPEAKERS - The speakers below are banged up and worthless. The sneakers triumph over them. They're the star of the show here.

We're also going to get these so we can complete our collection of FALN gear. Just missing the jacket now.

SIILENG - "Super cool! Now the premium lifestyle is yours, officer."

FALN SNEAKERS ON A PEDESTAL OF SPEAKERS - The sneakers seem to vibrate in your hands with an almost mystical energy.

Since we got a boombox from Roy, we won't be needing those speakers. Even if they are only 50 centim.

FALN "ULTRA" SERIES SNEAKERS

+1 Reaction Speed: Limitless grip +1 Hand/Eye Coordination: Steady ground -1 Encyclopedia: Too fast for facts

The Ultra Series FALN sneakers put lightness and grip above all else. With grip-tape covered SpringBoard soles and ultralight synth-fabric technology you can exit every corner with the maximum traction of a gentleman's racer.

As we head back to Kim's Kineema, we find, uh...

PISSF****T - "That's one brutal motor carriage," says the young man with 'PISSF****T' written on his back.

FUCK THE WORLD - "If I were a real SKULL now, I'd jack it, paint it in palm tree livery, then bottom-light it neon-style!" His companion wears a simple yet elegant slogan: 'FUCK THE WORLD'.

PISSF****T - "A snazzy shit-ripped SKULL-mobile like this would make a fine trophy. We could, like, hang fucking shrunken heads from the side mirrors! Cops' heads... Scary tribal shit."

FUCK THE WORLD - "Yeah, tribal shit..." he agrees. "A cop-carriage like this would have proper SKULL value..."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Ahem." He steps in. "While I appreciate the interest you take in my *brutal motor carriage*, I have to stop you right there. The RCM takes threats directed at its property seriously."

PISSF****T - "I, uhm, it's just theoretical work, copper. No basis in reality." He turns to his companion: "Man, if we were certified SKULLS right now..."

AUTHORITY [Medium: Success] - Was it a good idea on the lieutenant's part to get into this? Don't even answer that, just leave. You can always come back later -- on your own terms.

"Who are you?"

"We don't have time for this. Let's go." [Leave.]

+5 XP

We're going to listen to Authority right now. This will *totally* give us a leg up on them when we come back in five minutes.

GASTON MARTIN - "It is such a pleasure to see you again, officer. How may I aid the Citizens Militia on this fine day?"

Gaston, you're a communist, right? ...No?

2. [Rhetoric - Legendary 14] Convince Gaston to relinquish his sandwich.

-1 Threw the *boule* into the sea.

Yeah, I think we're going to need to replace the *boule* before we can pass this.

RHETORIC - A man so principled about his sandwich calls for a principled approach. Time to get political.

3. I'm not so sure about this...

RHETORIC - Too late. Daddy's already fighting the bad fight. Make it stick.

"This city's going to shit. Sooner or later some foreign anarchist is gonna *steal* your sandwich. That's a fact."

"There really isn't *anything* else I could say?"

RHETORIC - No. You're gonna starve to death.

3. "Back to police-mode." (Smile and nod.) "I have some questions, Gaston."

+1 Boring Cop

GASTON MARTIN - "Alright." The jolly man smiles. "Let's hear them, officer."

I don't think Rene is a communist, but let's talk to him anyway.

RENÉ ARNOUX - "Vigilance, officer!" He salutes you. "What can this old carabineer do for you?"

"Do *May bells* mean anything to you, René?" (Show him the flower.)

"René, I found your guard booth."

RENÉ ARNOUX - He glances at it and frowns. "I prefer the old name -- Insulindian Lily. Girls brought them to young cadets when they entered service. Wearing them on your cap was supposed to bring good luck."

Secret task complete: Ask the petanque player about may bells

+10 XP

"Hold on, is this a *royalist* military tradition?"

"Did they bring you good luck?"

RENÉ ARNOUX - "It used to be," he says with a sigh. "But the communards were fond of them, too. Called them *revolutionary* flowers, bells of the Revolution..."

"Did they bring you good luck?"

RENÉ ARNOUX - "You know what..." He falls silent and the emerging smile withdraws. "No. They brought me misery, false hope, and disappointment. The *revolutionaries* sullied them."

+5 XP

SUGGESTION [Easy: Success] - You stirred up some bad memories there.

GASTON MARTIN - "But it wasn't the revolutionaries that *sullied* the idea for you, was it?" He looks at the old soldier almost gently. "She gave them to me too and your jealous little heart just couldn't accept it."

RENÉ ARNOUX - "Enough," he cuts in sharply. "I can go over these matters *in detail* with you, Gaston, but not while we have company. So officers...?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "May bells don't blossom yet, do they?" the lieutenant quickly asks.

RENÉ ARNOUX - "Maybe on some remote parts of the city they do." The old carabineer shrugs. "But I think you have to wait for at least a month."

2. "René, I found your guard booth."

RENÉ ARNOUX - "Yes, the Débardeurs' Union pays me to stand vigil during the nights." He looks down. "Not out of any *political* allegiance, mind you."

"I'm an old man, don't sleep more than a few hours every night anyway and... money is tight," he adds with a slight sigh.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He feels like he has to justify himself for some reason.

"You must have seen *something* on the night of the murder. Your booth looks right into the yard."

"I... saw a picture in there. You were in it. You looked... happy. Who's the girl?"

"Got it, thanks." (Conclude.)

RENÉ ARNOUX - "Yes. It does." He nods. "Unfortunately I wasn't working that night. Been on a two-week leave since last Monday."

"Hold on, why are you on a leave?"

"So who was working your shift that night?"

RENÉ ARNOUX - "It's a private matter," he says with dignity. "Nothing to do with your investigation."

GASTON MARTIN - "You see, officer, René is the kind of man who'd rather die than admit he needs medical assistance or -- god forbid -- seek it. A real man's man. He's just gonna *ride it out*."

RENÉ ARNOUX - "I'm fine, goddamnit! Mind your own business!" The outburst makes him clutch his chest. "It's nothing, just got to cut back on coffee."

"So who was working your shift that night?"

RENÉ ARNOUX - "No one. The booth has been unmanned since last Monday." He looks suddenly very old and tired. "There's no other guard. It's just me."

KIM KITSURAGI - "No one has been guarding the container yard since last Monday?"

RENÉ ARNOUX - "Yes." He nods, before hesitantly continuing. "It's... it's not actually an issue. I mean..."

GASTON MARTIN - "Look, officers," his partner jumps in. "The container yard doesn't actually need a guardsman. Never had one before René. Mr. Claire had that booth built specially for him. It's mostly *decorative*."

"Mostly decorative?"

"So it doesn't matter, if you're there or not?"

RENÉ ARNOUX - "The *possibility* of someone being in there is enough to discourage any ill-minded individuals..." he tries to argue.

GASTON MARTIN - "Evrart *created* this job for René, because he knows the Royal Carabineer's pension of honour and PTSD isn't something a man can live off. 'A decorated kingsman collecting tare reflects bad on the whole neighbourhood.' -- his words."

+5 XP

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #acele berger #siileng #gaston martin #rene arnoux #harrier du bois

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octan-computer · 2 months

Note

Expand Kragle

-mini moments unlocked-

"y3s.... °f c0ur§3 .. Huh?... 0h... Y3s y3s I hav3 it und3r c0ntr0|.."

"computer.. there is someone trying to get into Octan through the front door, it's not Bad Cop. It's the same strange guy from before."

"R3ally...? The sam3 0ne...? VVhat is the n33d 0f that guy...? S0m3thing te3||s me πh4π if we k33p §c4ring h|m 4w4y, h3'll k33p c0ming b4ck."

"Computer maybe we can-"

"|t'§ 'Lord' n0t c°mputer... h°w m4ny π|m3s d0 I n33d t0 r3m|nd y0u...?"

"i'm sorry Lord Computer... but you literally have the face of-"

"JU��T L0RD."

"UGH, OKAY LORD at least let my system process it!!!"

"| w|ll r|p 0ut y0ur §y§tems 4nd h4ng th3m 0n my w4ll |f y0u d0n't pr0ces§ |t."

"of course, of course, As I said, we can use the Kragle to stop him from bothering us."

"Th4t...th4t's a g00d id34 4ctually...| l|ke |t, I d0."

[activating Kragle]

[Kragle activated]

[Kragle coming down from the roof]

"0k, KR4GLE, | h4v3 4 t4sk f0r y0u.."

{ nodding }

"0k4y, n0w, G0 G3T H|M."

{ entering in hatch... exit another one. }

{ leaving, detecting outside }

{ Detecting }

{ strange person graffitiing wall }

"uh..? WHAT, OH GOD-"

"|t's 4 sh4m3 w3 0nly h4v3 th3 s4mple Kr4gle, but th3 g00d th|ng |s th4t |t's r34lly cl3v3r.."

#The-Computer #The-Computer lore

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confused-kinnie · 5 months

Note

good news and bad news:

the good news: Jesus doesn’t hate queers.

The bad news: many people (wrongly) assume he does because certain things that are labeled queer do go against God’s word (not everything! I’ve seen the term applied to many things that are not wrong, and I don’t know what specifically you identify with). And some Christians do forget this, but Jesus calls us to love one another as he loved us.

The good news again: Jesus loves you. Not just in a general ‘0h, he created everyone so he kinda sorta has to care about you, no he loves YOU. He LOVES you. He created you on purpose and loved you enough to die for you! If he says no to something it’s because he wants what’s best for you. And being the creator of the universe means he knows what’s best for you in a unique way that no human can claim.

The bad news again: there’s no such thing as a pro queer Bible, it doesn’t exist because God has a different viewpoint about identities than we do. Again, not everything I’ve seen labeled as queer goes against God’s word, but some things are and God wants what’s best for us. Left to my own devices my sins would be the undoing of me. Jesus loves me as I am BUT he also loves me far too much to leave me to those sins.

I’m glad this guy knows the whole “love thy neighbor” thing also applies to queer people. But if God still believes some queer people are sinners, then that’s not a god we want to associate ourselves with.

Again, I’m a flower of my word. I’ll read the stinkin’ Bible, but as the lead defender here, I’m not going to let anything happen beyond that point. I’ll read the Jesus book, make fun of some of the hypocrisies, and go back on my merry way.

#the crew answers #mod flowey #tw christianity #I am irate that my stupid joke post left its target audience

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southernbellegirlie · 4 months

Text

人 !Six Feet Under is my jam !!♡∠※。.:*:・'°☆

Yah. They are such dirtbags sometimes, but 0h my god.. Rico is my MAN. He is just so babelicious with his stature..dark hair and deep brown eyes (´ρ`) ♥︎!! His sweet look. I dunno🤭🥴 Ryan Ross a lil. . It is NOT so babe he supported a woman financially and THEN SOME though🤞 still my hot sexy man fr!! hehe !!

#girlblogging #sixfeetunder #girly stuff #radiohead #thefisherfamily #david fisher #natefisher #federico diaz #myman #my man my man my man #hehe :3 #floral #beetlebug #drivinggirlie #cupcake #edp445 #Spotify

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canyouhearme83 · 6 months

Note

What's your name:D

MY N4M3 1S—!

…

MY N4M3 1S…

0H G0D, 1… C4N’T S33M T0 R3M3MB3R…

S4Y, D1D Y0U H4V3 0N3 1N M1ND? 1 M4Y N33D 4 PL4C3H0LD3R…

————————————————————————

(“MY NAME IS—!

…

MY NAME IS…

OH GOD, I… CAN’T SEEM TO REMEMBER…

SAY, DID YOU HAVE ONE IN MIND? I MAY NEED A PLACEHOLDER…”)

#fnaf ask blog #fnaf au #can you hear me now?

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thewertsearch · 2 years

Text

He has tentatively named the game SGRUB, which is a word that is NOT TERRIBLY ELEGANT.

Honestly, it makes sense. It’s probably stored on a grub, after all.

It's not up to you to decide what you retrieve from your sylladex. It's up to the spirits.

Poor Aradia is being micromanaged so hard, she doesn’t even have control over her own inventory. That’s fucked up, man.

Looks like the spirits are being cooperative today, if a bit cryptic, as usual.

It spells ‘Bing’, but - thank god - they mean the Bing Crosby laptop, not the search engine.

You found this baffling artifact some time ago on one of your digs. The creature on its facade is completely mystifying. You have taken to using it as your primary computing device on account of its bizarre novelty, as well as convenient portability.

I’m not even going to ask why this thing was buried in Alternian soil - I’m sure we’ll learn later - but it is interesting that Aradia finds a human being completely unrecognizable.

I mean, from our perspective, they’re just trolls without grey skin or horns - and the laptop even has grey skin! Maybe trolls and humans look less alike than their comic depictions would have you believe.

GA: Hi Again Aradia AA: 0h n0000000 GA: So I Guess Tonight Is The Night You Blow Everything Up AA: 0_0 GA: Is There Nothing I Can Do To Change Your Mind

GA, as expected, knows exactly what’s going down tonight. The trolls are getting information from a wide variety of sources, so who knows where she’s getting her lore from.

She’s currently referencing an early Jade conversation - albeit from the opposite side - and she already has plenty of Jade vibes, so maybe, like Jade, she’s been putting her dream self to work.

AA: but y0u sh0uldnt pretend as if y0u believe this has anything t0 d0 with the state 0f my mind AA: 0r the decisi0ns it will make 0r has already made

They’ve talked about this before. GA knows about Aradia’s railroading, but unlike her nihilist friend, she’s still trying to change their fate.

She won’t succeed tonight, but I still think she’s got the right idea.

GA: I Thought Id Be Friendly Though GA: And Remind You That You Do In Fact Have A Hand In All The Terrible Things That Are About To Happen

I don’t have a comprehensive understanding of Sburb’s time mechanics - and I don’t know what happened to Aradia to convince her of all this - so I’m not going to judge her too harshly.

But she is making a choice here, whether she admits it or not.

See, she doesn’t have all the facts. The Voices aren’t telling her everything - they really only seem to be telling her what she needs to know - so she should at least be open to the possibility that she’s wrong about fate. What has she got to lose?

If Aradia was willing to listen, to try and figure out if there are any other options - like John is slowly convincing Karkat to do - then that might change everything. Maybe things are only inevitable because she’s making them so, acting as a pawn for the Voices.

If you already ‘know’ you’re locked into an unfavorable outcome, why not try and change things? Isn’t an unknown, but potentially non-zero chance of success better than the 0% chance you have if you don’t try and fight fate at all?

We don’t know, because Aradia has decided - maybe as a defense mechanism, to prevent herself from getting even more hurt - that she’s 0k with this outcome. Maybe, as a result of whatever happened to her, she just doesn’t have the strength to fight.

I’m not judging her. She’s a teenager being manipulated by shadowy forces, and that’s not an easy trap to get out of. It’s completely reasonable for her to shut down, when faced with this kind of existential despair.

But the fact remains - we won’t know if she can do anything to stop this, until she actually tries.

GA: Ill Be Here To Help GA: If You Need Me AA: 0k AA: thanks

And she still might.

#2134 #s9 #homestuck liveblog #full liveblog #act 5

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