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elephant-in-the-pride-parade · 2 months

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20 Fic Writer Quesions

First, thank you @singeart and @mytardisisparked for tagging me!. I did a set of these last year and it was fun to see how my answers have changed since then!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

1.6 million and counting!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Trek Voyager

Star Trek Prodigy

Sailor Moon

Harry Potter

Madam Secretary

Ive debated writing SwanQueen for a long time but by the time I had the energy and time to write, I'd lost interest in the show. I might rewatch and come back to it one day...

I have thought about writing Wynonna Earp or Tamora Pierce universe fanfiction but have yet to get an idea that grabs me. I like to find things i want to fix and it's hard when the source material is perfection.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Parent Trap (305)

Sailor Moon H Order of the Phoenix (289)

Sailor Moon H Half Blood Prince (222)

Eden's Deception (167)

Out of Reach (150)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! although if I'm busy or feeling down it can take me a while. Sometimes I forget.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I still think What Even is 3 Minutes takes the cake. Or I'll be Your First if You'll be my Last

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I Heard the Comm on Christmas Morn and Parent Trap

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Unfortunately I've gotten hate on fics since I started writing them... and it's become just something I expect to happen. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it confuses me. Sometimes it makes me sad. It really depends...

The memorable haters:

There was the delightful Fanfiction.net reviewer who got pissed i was "making everybody gay" (that was funny actually). I forget if they were the same person who flamed me when Mcgonagall and Hooch kissed under some mistletoe. I digress. They thought queering up the canon was like sinful or whatever. I was delighted to disagree and make the story even queerer.

Another person cussed me out for magically restraining Sailor Plutos time travel powers so my plot would work and for making her have feelings about it. aparently mad the senshi were not all powerful deus exmachinas who never feel feelings... That one stung. That was the reason I left FFN.

Hate because in Sailor Moon H, Harry Potter was not the main character.

Hate that I made a magic bio baby for the magical lesbians. (I can't have a biobaby with my wife irl, can't I at least let the fantasy girlies have one!)

Hate for including C/7 in a story

...I wouldn't call it hate for the fic but I have had an uncomfortable amount of commenters who hate on Chakotay any time I have him involved with Seven / don't have him grovel to Kathryn / really any time I let him advocate for how he's been hurt... at first comments like this stressed me out because i worried i had not written the character sufficiently sympathetic. But then Parent Trap breached containment and I got enough comments to be able to see I had definitely written the character fine... it was just that some people were always just rooting for a "Chakotay falls over himself to apologize to Janeway for not immediately dating her" storyline that... I'm not sorry 😅 I'm never going to write that. The older I get the more I feel like both of J/C just need therapy! They've been through so much trauma. Their feelings are valid (yes, even for other people).

Parent Trap breaching containment also meant that when I hit an irl rut and couldnt get in the writing headspace for a bit, a bunch of - sincerely, well meaning - fans got into their heads to start a commenting campaign to get me to update. I heard about it and panicked (i had bad experiences that year of getting people who only commented "update soon" and those conversely stressed me out and made me not want to write - I love fic writing for the conversations and community... so it made me feel like readers thought i was just a content vending machine). so just the thought of potentially getting an avalanche of guests, well meaning or not, begging me to update made me lock commenting until the fic was done. I wound up deciding after that that since "update soon" requests were becoming a lot more frequent that I'd consider before posting whether getting them would hurt my ability to finish. So most of the time now if I know a fic is going to reach a bigger potential community, I don't start posting it until it's almost done. That has had some upsides! (Im less dependent on positive feedback for motivation now!) and some downsides (no one comments on my fics with their theories anymore) but on a whole, a good decision.

Immediately after finishing Parent Trap I wrote Fever and got this amazing guest comment from someone who said (paraphrasing cuz i'm too busy to go find it) "Youre better than this. how dare you write this filth. J/C are better than this" that one had me laughing for days. But the comment did prompt me to create a second account later when I wrote a tentacle fic. At the time I worried i'd get a ton of similar flame comments from people who were subscribed to my main for other types of fic... but I am even feeling like that's unnecessary now. I write what I write! Yes, some of it is really dirty, weird smut. I'm not sorry.

Currently any time I post a Threshold AU fic an anon drops into my comments section in order to call me "Sick" and "Deranged"... they make me so sad I don't even make a quippy reply. I just delete them. I write that universe for my own wish fulfillment... Someday (soon, hopefully) I'm gonna have kids. And I am going to have to have conversations with them about who their biological dad is. Why they look like one mom and not the other, whether their non bio family love them even if theyre not blood related. I might have a kid who feels different from everyone else because they're queer or they're neurodivergent or they're some new alienating feeling I am totally unprepared for. and I'll need to help them navigate that.. Writing about hybrid salamander kids getting raised in a blended family is FUN. But more importantly... it helps me practice those situations. It comforts me to know that if the characters can figure this out in the AU then I can figure this out in real life! What the hell is sick and deranged about that!?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I write all sorts of smut. I post the stuff that doesn't totally mortify me once i've gotten out of whatever mood had me writing the smut in the first place.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have exactly two crossovers to my name: Sailor Delta and Sailor Moon H. I think on the basis of word count alone Sailor Moon H (>500,000) is definitely the craziest.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I consider the unlicensed use of the AO3 archive for ChatGPT and similar LLMs theft. (and there are several court cases pending that are also seeking to address whether it is legally theft as it pertains to published fiction and newspapers). The canon creators of the fandoms I write for aren't allowed to make money by using uncredited ideas pulled from my fanfiction (just like I am not allowed to make money from writing fic with their copyrighted settings and characters) and i continue to be apalled that ChatGPT and other LLMs think they can get away with using others copyrighted ideas without permission. Especially that they can take advantage of people who cant profit off their own work.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but i would be open to it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Once with @magdalenejaneway, once with @jellybeansarecool and once with @trekflower and all three were fantastic!

Most of what I write for Threshold AU is also increasingly collaborated on a great deal by the AU creators and a few other folks. It's been going for over 2 years now and doing that more and more has enabled us all to drop more references to previous fics and to create a more cohesive body of fic for the AU. in general its just been so fun and fulfilling to make these stories with other people who are as invested in the characters as me and it just fills me with joy. I'm really grateful for you guys.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

On the one hand J/C have inspired over 50 fics, But on the other I have also been loving Sailor Moon and those ships since before I knew what fandom or shipping were. And really the only reason J/C inspire more fic is that all the sailor moon characters got a happy ending.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I never want to give up on a WIP...

but I am in knots about what all to do with Out of Reach.

Out of Reach is a St:Prodigy S1 AU where Chakotay has amnesia and doesn't remember anything from his time on Voyager, all the while he and Kathryn are in a situationship with a baby.

There's two questions I never figured out how to answer: 1. Does he get his memories back. If so, how much and what enables it. and 2: Do he and Kathryn stay together?

On the memories front. saying he never recovers seems unfair to the character. But saying he magically does thanks to 24th century science feels cheap and disrespectful - to the reality of real memory loss and to the plot that built up so much tension around this. Saying he gets back some or more over time is more realistic, but left me uncertain of where exactly to end the story. Tying his retrieval of memories to Kathryn also tied me up in knots. On the one hand they're in love and thats romantic. on the other hand the optics of his recovery totally dependent on one person is icky.

I also found the baby really annoying to have there by the end - I still think he's cuteeee i really do!!! - it's just... he makes the "we should stay together and try to figure this out" answer a bit too convenient 😅. and he complicates Kathryns reluctance to restart their relationship. The more she resists, the more callous she seems (deliberately not trying to patch things up with her kid's father) when i really just want to focus on her fears that Chakotay would be happier without her and that even if they restart their romance, she might lose him again on a future mission. It's ironic because i originally created the baby to ensure she wouldnt just run away from her fears. And now hes contributing to my difficulty ending the fic...

Actually the more I think on it, my real problem is I could write my way out of this, but I cant do it in only one or two chapters and that makes me feel tired. i was sorta hoping to wrap that fic up. 😅🙈

16. What are your writing strengths?

Imagery has always been a strength for me. But i think I'm also getting really good at action scenes too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oneshots.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Only if it was information i wanted the reader to understand but not the POV character.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

W.I.T.C.H way back when I was 15.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Universe to Mend - I even have a few sequel or companion novel ideas to come after it.

This has gone on a while... 😅 - thank you for tagging me and letting me ramble! i'll tag anyone else who wants to answer! have at it.

#writing asks #elephantwrites

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steadust · 2 months

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Hi.

This is my first post on here.

I’ve decided I needed to put my thoughts somewhere and I feel like this is the safest place to do it.

I want to write about my self loathing, my struggle with weight, all that stuff.

About two years ago, I was living in a dorm and suddenly got a bed bug infestation. I decided I had to leave to escape it. I was “homeless” for six months, so I had to live with my best friend who lived far away from my university. I have a very intense fear of trains because of social anxiety and the general fear of men and being attacked, so I completely stopped going to university for an entire semester. Her and I both struggle with going out, so we survived off of ordering food. It was both incredibly costly, thus making me waste almost all my savings on food, and also a huge issue for my weight. After I finally got a studio, I continued putting on the weight. In total, I put on around 10 kgs. I am about 167 cm tall (around 5’6-7) and weigh 79kgs. I am overweight.

Since then, it has been completely impossible for me to lose the weight for multiple reasons:

- I struggled with finding a way to eat balanced meals as I really don’t enjoy cooking.

- As I mentioned before, I struggle with going out because of social anxiety and other fears, so getting groceries and fresh produce regularly is impossible for me, and ordering groceries is not an option because it’s very expensive.

- I tried fasting, and I will continue to try because it seems like the only option, but it’s a slow process.

- Calorie counting proved to be incredibly anxiety inducing and restrictive, so I kind of gave up after two weeks, it was very difficult to keep up.

- Now, my biggest issue. I DESPISE working out. I cannot, physically, make myself to do. It induces such an indescribably violent rage in me and I don’t know what to do about it. It is the most unpleasant, downright painful, infuriating activity. I want to go to the gym to just walk on the treadmill but I simply cannot because of the previously mentioned issues. There is basically nobody I can go with either, so I am very lost. Walking outside it out of the question, again, same issues, but I also live in a very dangerous city so it makes it a billion times worse.

At this point, I don’t know if this is an issue I need to resolve in therapy, because I don’t go so I wouldn’t know.

I am completely hopeless. It’s unbearable to be this overweight and not know what to do. I feel powerless. It feels completely impossible. It’s simply not going to happen, and I don’t know if I should just accept I will never lose this weight.

It’s all I think about. Every waking second I think about how much I hate the way I look. Every time I see anyone whether online or in person, my immediate reaction is to look at their body and compare it to mine. It’s like a biological response. I don’t think to do it, it just happens unprompted. I’m conditioned to do that. All I think about is food, whether because I’m hungry or because I don’t know what to eat next that won’t make me gain weight. Food is my biggest enemy, I despise it with every fiber of my being. I wish so badly I didn’t need to eat at all, I can’t stand it. It’s the worse thing about this stupid life. I desperately want to get rid of it.

I don’t care if anyone read this, I just needed to write my thoughts somewhere. But if you did, thank you. I truly appreciate it.

If you feel the same, well, I wish you all the best. Maybe we can do something about this. I don’t know.

#weight loss #i wanna lose weight #i need to lose this weight #tw weight #weight #gaining fat #hopelessness #i don’t know what to do #desperate #blogging #blog #my diary #dear diary #tumblr diary

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zukkaoru · 7 months

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20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @starrynightarchive and @feralshadowdemon, ty for the tag!! putting most of this under a cut since it's long lol

tagging (with no pressure): @that-was-anticlimactic @backhurtyy @rejectscanon

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

167 linked to my main ao3 account. maybe some others floating around that have been made anonymous or orphaned or something. who knows

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

965,845 - okay wow i did not realize i was that close to 1mil. huh

3. what fandoms do you write for?

well right now the bsd brainrot has taken hold of me and i cannot think of much else. but i do have a handful of zine fics for other fandoms that are in progress / will be posted eventually. i have a very long list of fandoms i have written for in the past; however, i would not recommend reading anything posted before 2021

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

plum blossom

you clutched my brain and eased my ailing

my calamitous love & insurmountable grief

five times ryan came out (and one time he couldn't)

(just wanna be) somebody i'm proud of

my disclaimer here is that these are absolutely nowhere even close to being by best fics and i kind of resent them being my top five

5. do you respond to comments

i'm trying🫠 i let like 600+ pile up in my inbox over the course of a year and a half (or more) and so i recently went through and just marked everything as read instead of actually responding. BUT (almost) all comments on fics posted since ~august 2023 will get responses. exceptions are if i literally don't know what to say bc i'm bad at talking to people sorry

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

you don't even want to know the horrors that showed up in my google docs this weekend. but also either if one of us dies or may we stay lost on our way home

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i'll go with this ultraviolet morning light just bc it's probably the greatest payoff since it takes longest to get to the happy ending

8. do you get hate on fics?

not typically but there have been a few mean comments over the years. actually i got one bookmark on a fic that's in a series for a fanweek that says "ignore the others in this series but this one is good" and honest to god it just made me laugh. like.. you do realize i can see that, right?

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i can barely write kiss scenes

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

i don't usually BUT when i was in middle school my friend and i created The Megacrossover, which consisted of us putting a bunch of different book characters into a hunger games arena. and we just kept adding more fandoms, and having new characters be transported into the arena. it was a good time. this was also entirely handwritten as all fanfiction should be when you're 10-12 years old

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge. definitely found one fic that was like. heavily influenced by mine back in my ouat days though

12. what's the longest you've spent working on a fic? and the shortest?

longest: over a year, at least shortest: a couple hours (not including editing)

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

not technically since the megacrossover but corey and i co-come up with ideas like. at least once a week

14. what's your all-time favorite ship? from all fandoms?

outlaw queen has to be my answer to this forever and always. never forgive never forget 🏹🍎

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

too many to answer. probably the biggest one is the azula-centric sequel to tuvml that i simply do not have the attention to write bc the hyperfixations have travelled elsewhere :( there are many many others though. i have an endless amount of ideas and not enough time

16. what are your writing strengths?

people often tell me i'm good at characterization and tbh i do pride myself on knowing characters better than 97% of the rest of the fandom. not all of the characters. but most of them.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

short attention span </3

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

do whatever you want forever. but like.. respectfully

19. first fandom you wrote for?

probably percy jackson when i was like 10. no you cannot find that anywhere online because i, like an idiot, deleted it without saving a backup copy

20. favorite fic you've written?

definitely (i am) the whisper of a memory. i love a lot of my fics, but that is one i am especially proud of because i tried new things with the formatting and i think it worked really really well

#can't remember if i've done this one before or not but if i have it has been a While #tag game #idk what else to say here. i'm tired

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festival-of-pudding · 3 years

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writer check-in question set

as tagged by @thuriweaver 🥰

1.How many works do you have on AO3?

that seems small? but I tend to aggregate ficlets into collections, and I kept a lot of my old lotrips stuff off AO3 for various reasons.

2. What is your total AO3 word count?

216,612

(if I did that right)

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

on AO3:

Rhett & Link (17)

Lord of the Rings RPF (6)

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (4)

Lost (2)

Moonlight (TV) (2)

Dark Shadows (1991) (1)

David Bowie (1)

The Hollow Crown (1)

Lord of the Rings: All Media Types (1)

Mythbusters RPF (1)

NCIS (1)

Pushing Daisies (1)

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (1)

Thor Movie (1)

Not on AO3? Oh dang. Hmm. Star Trek TOS, Star Trek TNG, nu!Trek, Babylon 5, Star Wars, X-Men, The X-Files, Forever Knight, (hell let’s go all the way back to middle school) The Crow, Dracula, Highlander, Flatliners, New Kids on the Block (heck yeah they hired a 12-year-old girl as their new manager that was me I was the manager), as a little kid it was Doctor Who and The Jungle Book and Greek Mythology, I’m way too old to remember it all x__x

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Aerodynautical (283)

Made for You (167)

Simmer Dim (104)

Aromatherapy (103)

Subroutine (97)

and to think I was scared to post my fetish fic, I love you freaks <3

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

LiveJournal etiquette trained me to reply to every comment. The past few years, though, I’ve often been too socially withdrawn to reply. It feels dumb to go back and do it now. But I wish I had replied to everyone.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

There’s one I posted to LJ back in the day that had a downer ending: Billy kept calling Dom to check on him, and Dom was kinda spiraling, you could tell he was in love with Billy (who was just married) and it ended with everything unsaid. (I left that one off AO3 lol) I don’t do downbeat endings in general. I prefer to beat my characters to hell and back, emphasis on “and back”.

Oh and there’s a Lost fic I never posted to AO3 that had an angsty ending, but it was a Charlie prequel so :\

7. Do you ever write crossovers?

Yes! The Pushing Daisies fic above is a Rhett & Link crossover, and the David Bowie one is a lotrips crossover. (don’t do drugs kids)

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not on AO3. On LJ I did a few times, but nothing terrible. LJ anons preferred to leave their hate in your inbox, not on your fics :p

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! I’m not sure what kind? I prefer to describe physical reactions rather than body parts, if that’s what you mean, but you definitely know what body parts are being used :p

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know. I’ve been around long enough that it’s possible, but it’s never been brought to my attention. I google my novels sometimes to see if anyone has scraped them, but not my fics. It’s nice to be obscure :D

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! In lotrips we used to call it tigging. (lotrips peeps y’all know) Those were generally done spontaneously in LJ comment threads, and they were FUN AS HELL. I have a few of those archived. And I participated in some RPGs too, also on LJ. Good times :)

12. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

oh lordt. I cannot choose. I’ll just go back to basics and say Kirk/Spock. (Which, you may be surprised to know, I have never written. I’m too intimidated, it’s like trying to add to the holy scriptures)

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Publicly? Lotrips. Privately? I think Doctor Who would be the first thing that counts as a “fandom”, though I had no concept of that back then. If Greek Mythology is a fandom, it was definitely that. :D

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Oh man. For a long time it was my Zinefic from 2004, but now it would be really hard to choose. Not counting WIPs, for technical merit I might go with Renovatio, for artistic interpretation maybe my Moonlight prequel ? Don’t make me choose!! I love them all okay I LOVE ALL MY WEIRD GAY FICS

15. BONUS QUESTION: Do you have a WIP that haunts you?

all my WIPs will haunt me eternally, constantly yelling at me at inappropriate times like the ghosts in Heart & Souls

let’s tag @finduilasclln, @alittleoblivion, @bocere, @rileyrooin, @rubynye (and anybody else lol)

#writingtag

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fire-lady-ilah · 3 years

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Thank you to @theboyfrommakapu for the tag! Post under the read more.

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

26 total (although I think I have 2 or 3 that I either orphaned or deleted, can’t remember) on uhmeduh.

Oh, and 2 on another account I made specifically for my bad 10 year old me’s fanfics. No, you don’t get that one.

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

126 862. Which is, frankly, more than I thought. I think it’s grown quite a bit in 2021, to be fair.

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

7, according to AO3. One is an original work, so I guess 6? Except Far Cry 4 and 5 are considered different by AO3, as are Persona 2 and 5. I personally consider it like 4 or 5 fandoms.

A:TLA— 20 fics

Persona 2 & 5— 1 fic (crossover between the two)

Far Cry 4 & 5— 1 fic (crossover between the two)

PJO and related fandoms— 3 fics

Original Work— 1 fic

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Silence is a Virtue — 191 kudos

2. sometimes you’re born evil (sometimes you’re not) — 149 kudos

3. In Which Ajay Just Wants a Vacation — 91 kudos

4. musings of a common man — 75 kudos

5. Lost. [tied with] undercurrent — 37 kudos each

Silence is a Virtue and IWAJWAV are both multi chapter fics at 23.6k and 19.2k, respectively. sybe (syn), moacm, and undercurrent are all part of the same series of short fics and range from 4.4k (unfinished) to 7k. Lost. is a theoretical first chapter of a multi chapter fic. 4/6 fics are ATLA, 1 is Far Cry, 1 is PJO.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yeah! I used to not because I’m incredibly awkward about it, but when I started commenting on fics myself and realized how nice it is when the author replies, I started doing it myself. I really enjoy recognizing regular commenters. I just need to stop talking so much about worldbuilding and hinting at stuff in my replies, I think ^^’.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hm. Probably either what is a legacy to a dead man (it is worth far more to those still living) or Shattered Porcelain. The former is most likely more angsty to readers, but the latter holds a special place in my mind because I know my OCs intimately well.

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Most of them, to be honest. I am, at my core, a fluff writer, even if I also enjoy throwing in sprinkles of angst every so often. The entire the dragon king series is going to end pretty happy if it goes according to plan. If I had to pick a finished fic then probably Apricot Blossoms— it’s just sweet kids in love, you barely notice the darkness on the horizon.

8) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Kinda? Sorta? Not really? Two of my published fics are crossovers but they’re like, crossovers within the same extended fandom.

Oh, wait, that one fic I wrote and published when I was 11 was a weird Harry Potter and mild Avengers crossover. So yeah, I guess.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really, no. I occupy a pretty niche area in all the fandoms I write in, so you kind of have to search out the content I make. I’m also not popular at all in the grand scheme of things, which I’m mildly thankful for. I have some popular fic writers as friends and I see some of their commenters sometimes.

10) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I guess? It’s not something I make a habit of, I just in general am not that horny, but I have one published smutfic on AO3 and a ficlet on Tumblr that, if it isn’t really classified as smutc definitely is close. The smut I write is pretty soft and loving and is exclusively LuZhao so far.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. If someone wants to I’m all for it, and theoretically I could translate my own fics into two other languages, but if there isn’t a demand there wouldn’t be much purpose other than me practicing. Who knows though, maybe one of my fics on my account will show up translated into French or Norwegian by me. Or maybe Russian, but that would be an effort. My Russian... isn’t great.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Currently (kinda, fixing my laptop has made it take a hot second) co-writing an OC centric fic with @theboyfrommakapu. I also betaread two of @izzymrdb’s fics, and she called me their coauthor in a comment once so... I guess that counts? I also had plans to make a massive crossover with my own fic and two of my friends but then I fell out of PJO and into ATLA pretty hard.

14) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

LuZhao, definitely. I’ve just created enough stuff around it to make it my favourite. I’m also quite fond of Jastavian in the realm of PJO.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I fully intend to finish my two main multichapter fics eventually, but I doubt I’ll ever finish Butterfly Kisses. Especially to the extent I have it in my mind.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Uh... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Maybe worldbuilding within an established world? I actually prefer AUs to canon compliance, but when I want something to be canon compliant then I will make sure that it is as fully canon compliant as possible (or, to the extent that canon doesn’t contradict itself). For example, at the moment all of my OCs are completely canon compliant. If I somehow were asked to publish them, they would not contradict any existing work. I put a lot of work into my OCs and worldbuilding and it definitely shows.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

If you asked my girlfriend? My paragraphs are too long and I don’t know how to use commas. She’s right about that, of course.

If you asked me? I’d probably say something a little more vague. I’m bad at the whole “communicating just enough” aspect of writing (and of life). I tend to get absorbed by my worldbuilding and want to tell everyone every little detail, which makes no sense because you don’t need to know it for the fic’s promises.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

So long as a translation is provided, I see no issue if it’s accurate. One of my first fandoms was Hetalia so... yeah.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I’m not sure if it was Harry Potter, Sherlock, or Hetalia. But it was definitely one of those three and I was about 10 when I wrote it.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Surprisingly I haven’t mentioned it so far, but solntse moye / luna moya. Azulon and Ilah have a relationship I really like, and they both have such distinct inner voices.

Tagging:

@percabeth4life @izzymrdb @crookedmouth-mountainbones @ohmygodtheywereparabatai (I know you write on Tumblr so this would be hard, but consider it another request for you to post your stuff on AO3 ❤️) @thetruecthulhu9 @ariya-167

#tag game #my writing #angie writes

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psychvamp25 · 4 years

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Fic Author Tag

Tagged by @kelleesioverhere (thanks for the tag!)

AO3 name: psychvamp

Fandoms: Gendrya, currently, but I have written for Klaroline, Bellarke, and Peter/Olivia (Fringe)

Tropes: there are many but my tops are Soulmates, Enemies to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, and Only One Bed

Number of fics: 45 (between those on AO3 and FFnet)

Fic I spent the most time on: Right Place, Wrong Time ... took me almost 2 years per the publish to latest update dates on ffnet, which would make sense because i was also in college at the time i wrote it

Fic I spent the least time on: there are a lot wrote in a single day, but i’ll go with Out For a Walk

Longest fic: Right Place, Wrong Time (167, 888)

Shortest fic: How the Light Tell a Tale (826)

Most hits: The Lost Prince (31,174)

Most kudos: The Lost Prince (1208)

Most comment threads: The Lost Prince (968)

Most bookmarks: The Lost Prince (192)

Total word count: from just the stories on AO3; 507,717

Favorite fic I wrote: The Lost Prince, which from the numbers, a lot of others liked it too :D

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: Wolf Moon. I really liked the premise and I will be expanding on it once I have some time.

Share a bit of a wip or a story idea you’re planning on: Here is a bit from the Hogwarts AU for the Gendrya month prompts;

She first sees him at the faculty dinner, which is two days before the students are set to arrive. It gives her time to set up her personal room, her office, and her classroom. The first thing she noticed about him was his height, he was easily 6’3 while she barely topped 5’4. The second was his eyes they were a shade of blue that captivated you in the deeps. The third was how those seemed to glaring at her, as if she was something that bothered him. She ignored it as Professor Arryn introduced her to everyone, learning that he was Gendry Waters the Transfiguration professor. He only seemed a few years older than her, she wondered why she didn’t remember him from when they were at school. It had been over a decade since she had been a student but she liked to think her memory was better than that.

tagging: @sneetchstar @chasingforeverandaday @safaiagem and whoever feels like joining in

#author tags #my stuff

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chibivesicle · 5 years

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Golden Kamuy 209: Cikapasi and Ryu come home.

Hello all, my summary for 209 will be a bit less than normal, I’ve had a fair bit of work and personal travel (which resulted in me trapped in Houston at 1am earlier this week in an attempt to get back to El Paso to then drive another hour to my current location) and I came back to work getting really busy while being travel sleep deprived. Oh and I had a painful dentist appointment as well . . . It will take me about a week or two, to get my new schedule sorted out.

When chapter 209 came out many readers responded very emotionally to the events of the chapter; crying, really feeling for what happened in this chapter.

I will immediately come clean and state that I did not cry nor feel very emotional about this chapter. I breathed a sigh of relief that what I had anticipated and hoped would happen actually happened. That sigh of relief came from as soon as I saw the title page here; Cikapasi and Enonoka walking through the snow holding hands together.

The additional text stating that their encounter was “fated/miracle” made it even better for me personally - that they were going to be connected in some way and likely in a stable and permanent fashion.

As Sugimoto is driving the dogsled, it shows that Ryu has been promoted to being a lead dog. This refers back to the whiteout in chapter 166 and 167. Ryu tried to pull out of the line to follow Tsukishima and Koito’s sled with Enonoka and her grandfather but the lead dog got lost with Sugimoto, Tanigaki and Cikapasi. Recall that when dog sleds were first introduced that headgear indicated a lead dog’s status in the group and Ryu is sparkling. Asirpa pets Ryu as he lays on his belly and Shiraishi comments that Ryu can really fit in with the sled dogs and that he’s found his home as the panel ends on Cikapasi looking on.

The group then bids their farewells to Ryu at the top of the following page. This is a very heartfelt panel as many hands reach out to pet Ryu as they thank him for all of his help on the journey. Sugimoto is behind him with both hands on his head, Cikapasi and Asirpa reach out with their right hands as well as Shiraishi. There is a last hand, wearing a white coat. It could be Tsukishima or Koito but, since the hand is the same skin tone was the rest of the hands, it must be Tsukishima. Koito’s skin tone is more tan and in a few pages it is obvious when he shakes Enonoka’s hand. Interestingly, Tanigaki doesn’t pet Ryu and his winter coat and uniform are both dark blue and he’s currently wearing the brown vest only over his chest and his regular military jacket.

Tsukishima then talks to a man with a horse drawn sled heading back to Odomari and got them a ride back. I’m guessing since Tsukishima talked to him, the man may be one of the resident Russians. He tells them that they will need to say good back to Enonoka and her grandfather here.

Tsukishima looks so down here. He really doesn’t seem to want to head back, he’s downcast and his face is shaded a bit. We still don’t know how the conversation between Sugimoto and Asirpa ended but this is clearly the next day or something close to that. I can’t help but feel like he’s dreading their reunion with Tsurumi.

Enonoka cries as she receives the payment from Koito for all of their services. She counts the bills as Koito hands them over. Sugimoto remarks that she is a mature kid but it comes off as a bit rhetorical since she is weeping and trying to hold back those tears, but perhaps he’s been spending too much time with Asirpa . . . Once they are done they shake hands with the most serious faces that both can manage. Can I mention how I love how serious Koito takes this business transaction - I still have some harsh words occasionally for our bon-bon but I do really love how when Koito wants to be professional he really delivers. I really think his straight face is in part keeping it professional to not upset Enonoka more.

Cikapasi follows her to talk to her and Sugimoto tells him that they will wait for him to say a proper good bye. Tanigaki looks on as he has nothing to say but looks distressed. I find it interesting that Sugimoto is the one who gives Cikapasi “permission” to say good-bye to Enonoka, not his adopted big brother Tanigaki.

Enonoka tells him that she won’t say good-bye as she hides behind a tree and that he can’t lose the hohchiri (bead triangle of Karafuto Ainu tradition) and to lastly not forget about her.

Cikapasi holds back tears as he promises that he won’t forget her. Koito then yells out for everyone to get going as they are getting on the sled, Cikapasi sweats nervously while Enonoka continues to cry.

As the sled moves away, Sugimoto says good-bye and waves while everyone else looks on. Cikapasi looks back and sees only Enonoka’s hand on her grandfather’s waist, she’s unable to watch him leave but then she pops out and cries his name out. He quickly turns around and tells her that he’ll wait for her - and promptly rolls off of the moving sled.

After he falls off Tanigaki yells at the man to stop the sled. I guess the driver is Japanese or knows Japanese at least enough to stop? The driver is wearing an ushanka . . .

Cikapasi gets up and brushes himself off as Tanigaki asks if he’s okay. The framing on the next panel is interesting, Tanigaki’s eyes are too high and Shiraishi looks annoyed as he tells him to hurry up. I think Shiraishi has a right to be a bit annoyed - I think he feels the further he gets away from Russia and the border and where Kiro died, he’ll feel better. Everyone keeps forgetting that Shiraishi and Asirpa went though some very tough times and since they really don’t get time to psychologically face them, the next best thing is to heal by sheer distance.

I very much like the design of the next few panels - Cikapasi’s face in the foreground shaded a bit grey, the others on the sled way behind and Enonoka and her grandfather before him. He thinks of the film they made with Asirpa and having a family with them.

The next page has him standing in place, literally stuck. It is only then that Shiraishi notices that something is wrong, going from mildly irritated to concerned, because at heart, Shiraishi is a pretty decent guy and he really does worry about others. It is then that Tanigaki stares in absolute realization of what is happening. Tanigaki tells everyone to wait as he gets up and approaches Cikapasi, who finds it hard to face him. The entire time, the viewer cannot see Tanigaki’s face for good reason, it is building up to the next panel.

When he finally looks up to say “Tanigaki-nispa” Tanigaki’s tears fall onto his face, which are brought about by Tanigaki thinking of his travels and memories with Cikapasi and Inkarmat. Only when faced with losing someone of his own free will and decision does Tanigaki realize what he was a part of.

It is quite clear that the large bird of prey on the title page and now here in the upper left of Tanigaki’s head is in reference to the Ainu folk tale where Tanigaki played the bird kamuy that helped Cikapasi to find the man and his daughters.

Tanigaki cries, more than that, Tanigaki weeps at the fact that he tells him that he must stay in Karafuto. Tanigaki is weeping likely for so many other things.

On the next page, Cikapasi with just a little tear, says ok and tells him that he must go form a family with Inkarmat. Tanigaki then begins to blush more as he removes his Murata rifle from his back. He states that he will finally give it to him and that he is to use the rifle to give back to Enonoka and her grandfather. But that he should not use it until he is ready to and that Tanigaki will not be there to help him use it like when they shot the wolverine together. Tanigaki is blushing heavily the entire time, he gives Cikapasi he knowledge that the person who gave him this gun saved his life and that it is important to him.

And with this exchange Cikapasi looks the most mature he’s been to date, and this is totally in line with his character development. He respects this gift and he will use it with care. Tanigaki appears soft in response to it first with his eyes closed and a soft smile. He nods in response and there is a sparkle of sunlight reflected in Cikapasi’s rifle.

Yes, Tanigaki is very soft here, but there is a sense of sadness and heaviness to this scene. His next response is to look as adult and commanding as possible as he confirms what Cikapasi had just said.

Maybe it is just me, but I really feel that in this conversation, Cikapasi comes off as more mature than Tanigaki. He seems so self assured while Tanigaki seems to have to dig deep to tell him that, yes, it is a boner. I really feel that Cikapasi knew what he needed to do and he was just looking for Tanigaki’s confirmation which I personally don’t think he necessarily needed - most of Cikapasi’s personal growth has been driven by his interactions with Enonoka on Karafuto, not Tanigaki. Yes, Tanigaki helped him fire the rifle but Tanigaki really saw him as being useful while traveling but not someone he cared about quite the same way that Enonoka cared about him.

Cikapasi tells Tanigaki to take care of Asirpa and Huci as well and we can see that Tanigaki has handed Cikapasi’s bag over to him.

A very soft looking Tanigaki says that he will take care of them as he has almost a sparkly eye and he looks positive and friendly.

The rest of the group on the sled then bid him farewell. Shiraishi tells him good-bye and Asirpa tells him to stay healthy and take care of himself.

Sugimoto seems happy and Tanigaki is smiling almost beaming. In the background Koito has a very sweet look on his face as he smiles. We as readers now know that Koito despite being a bon-bon, was for some time a very lonely child and longed to fit in. He likely saw a part of himself in Cikapasi even if he’d never actually admit it, so I think Koito feels pleased that he found a place to belong.

The only character who seems unhappy is Tsukishima who looks at Tanigaki very sternly or concerned. I don’t see that as a soft smile from Tsukishima, I see a man torn and he looks like he’s looking more at Tanigaki than at Cikapasi.

I wonder if Tsukishima is concerned since Tanigaki just gave up his rifle and broke his ties to Cikapasi? Tanigaki is unarmed now and the only thing he has left is Inkarmat - does Tsukishima know more about her status than the rest?

What do I think that? Just by looking at the end of 209 here:

The fact that Cikapasi literally fades away in the background as Tanigaki sternly looks forward with a slight glimmer of tears in his eyes . . . The final panel shows the large bird in the sky flying away from Cikapasi and Enonoka and Ryu running towards him.

Tanigaki’s facial expression is somewhat similar to this one during his sniper battle with Ogata. This seems to be his very serious expression when he’s focusing on something. Yes, the situation is completely different, he’s no longer fighting for his life, but he’s setting himself up to mental prepare himself for battle.

I see these two as similar as he has a pretty consistent furrowed brow look. He’s angry at Ogata . . .

I think here in 209, he’s angry at himself. Tanigaki frequently shows his emotions and his eyebrows and eyes are a great indicator. He’s clearly shifting his thoughts away from Cikapasi as he fades and he thinks about what is ahead - likely Inkarmat.

Okay, crazy hypothesis time and some summaries:

1.) Cikapasi found the home he was looking for.

Yay! I’m so happy he decided to stay in Karafuto and live with Enonoka and her grandfather. She was great for his character development and I find it interesting that she was a parallel to Wilk but in a nice way. Enonoka put the bead triangle on his hair just like Wilk (a Karafuto Ainu) did for Asirpa (a Hokkaido Ainu). I think in both cases they are to symbolize both Asirpa and Cikapasi coming into their own - going from being children to being more responsible young adults.

2.) Did Tanigaki just wave a death flag? Or is he realizing he’s doomed to be miserable for the rest of his life?

So we all know that Tanigaki has inherited the curse of killing the tiger, no one will argue that. My first instinct is that Tanigaki has waved his death flag. He was saved by having Nihei’s rifle during his sniper battle with Ogata; without that he was as good as dead - Ogata would have gotten him. That Murata rifle has been the item that has kept him going even though he was been very irresponsible with it; getting stolen, being used by Kiro as a trigger for explosives etc. By giving it away, Tanigaki has lost any protective qualities that it may have afforded him. In some ways I feel like he is “passing the buck along” to Cikapasi. I think deep down, he knows Cikapasi will be a better inheritor of the rifle than he was - Cikapasi will use it to help Enonoka and her grandfather but what has he used it for? He’s protected himself and Inkarmat (back in Yubari) but for the most part but he hasn’t used it for hunting which is what Nihei intended him to do with it. By leaving the rifle with Cikapasi, it also keeps Ryu with him since he is still tied to it. In a way, the Murata and Ryu are a pair and I’m not sure if they were a pair that Tanigaki deserved since he never went home like how Nihei wanted him to.

So now, Tanigaki has no weapon and he’s heading back with the rest of the group. He got his revenge for Inkarmat but there is no way that Tsurumi won’t continue to use him. I wonder with Tsukishima’s potential glance at Tanigaki it means that if Inkarmat is not going to make it, what is holding Tanigaki to this world? I can see him using this as an excuse to be reckless and throw everything away b/c what else can he lose?

He was not in Yubari for the “last supper” scene so his fate is much more unclear in the series. He always seemed to be someone who was running away from heading home - now that he’s lost Cikapasi he realizes in hindsight how much he meant to him but he really never gave Cikapasi the love and attention he really wanted. Does he weep because he feels guilty for not doing more for Cikapasi? Does he weep since he hurt his own family and now he’s hurting others? He may have tolerated Cikapasi and came to care for him but he was very bad at expressing any of this. The fact that Cikapasi needs to be nudged to say good-bye to Enonoka by Sugimoto and not Tanigaki speaks volumes. He clearly started to see the relationship between them growing while watching the film, yet when it came to addressing it, he didn’t until he absolutely had to.

If this isn’t a death flag for his part, it is a likely as sign of things to come - Tanigaki being unable to appreciate what he has when he has it and then mourns the loss of things as he loses it time and time again.

Is this a cold and harsh read on his future? Hell yes. Do I think this is a strong possibility? Totally.

Unlike many of the other veteran characters, he has shown less change and character development. Nihei told him to go home. Ogata told him to go home. He didn’t need to go to Karafuto, he used the lame excuse that Asirpa would trust him but really he’s never engaged or connected with her, he just used bringing her back to Huci as an excuse to not head home to Ani.

What I find even more striking is that he has returned to wearing the same clothing that he had at the start of the manga. Not only that, in this chapter even though we see both of his hands we never see him wearing the tenkupe that Osoma made for him.

Recall she gave it to him in chapter 76 - Kane Mochi here:

This was how Tanigaki was tied to Huci and Osoma.

We see him still wearing it when they first head to Karafuto here, in chapter 140.

He’s got his vest on over his uniform, in part indicating that his cold tolerance is much better than the rest of the group as the rest are all wearing long coats.

But by time they reach the drift ice, it is no longer on his right hand here in 184. Yes, this is based on a Japanese meme but still, Noda could have drawn the tenkupe on his right hand but he’s missing it.

This can mean several things, he’s lost it, he no longer wishes to return to Huci and Osoma to get the matching set, or he has realized that he wants a set associated with Inkarmat etc. I just went back through the manga quickly and I can’t pin down when he stopped wearing it, but it is clear that by 184, and before he kills Kiro that he was not wearing it anymore.

Is he no longer wearing it b/c he killed Kiro a person who is tied to the Ainu? Is he no longer wearing it b/c he has figured out his relationship with Inkarmat? Is he no longer wearing it b/c he has no reason to return to Huci and Osoma?

Whatever it is - I think it is a bad sign that he’s not wearing it anymore.

3.) Koito and Shiraishi show their soft sides this chapter. Sugimoto and Asirpa seem a bit more contemplative.

Let’s take a minute to appreciate that Koito and Shiraishi both show their soft sides. Both start off a bit whiny about Cikapasi holding them up but in the end they both seem the most revealed and happy that he found a home. I like this part.

Sugimoto and Asirpa are a bit harder to read, both of them are less connected to Cikapasi and it shows - I wonder if they see that their own relationship may split again? Tanigaki and CIkapasi were a Japanese-Ainu pair - that certainly seems to mean something to the Asirpa-Sugimoto unequal partnership.

My gut keeps telling me that Sugimoto and Asirpa are going to be torn apart by a real force and that Ogata and Asirpa will have to rescue Sugimoto. We are still missing so much backstory from Sugimoto and I don’t think we will get than until he’s in dire straits.

But that is enough for now.

#golden kamuy #golden kamuy meta #cikapasi #enonoka #tanigaki genjirou #Shiraishi Yoshitake #koito otonoshin #tsukishima hajime #asirpa #sugimoto saichi #inkarmat #nihei tetsuzou

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ladycibia · 6 years

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Tagged by @lordazazel23 („ᵕᴗᵕ„) ♥︎♥︎♥︎ thanks hon!

Answer 30 questions and tag 10 people you want to know better

Alright, alright, I won’t be a lazy ass this time (kinda)! I’m tagging @milich96 (sorry girl), @marythacake, @kappaskulljoke, @dodgisshipper, @lord-pirate-and-gentleman, @a-kthelittlefairystransformed and ok listen I can’t tag people and I was about to go to bed, so you know the drill: you’re reading this> you want to do it> consider yourself tagged. (◡̈ )

Nickname(s): Cibia & its variants (Chibi/Cibi, Cibs, ecc). Sometimes my boyfriend comes up with the weirdest nicknames, but he’s not very constant with them anyway

Gender: female

Sign : taurus

Height : 167 cm

Current time : 0.40

Favourite band(s): I don’t really have one...

Favourite Solo artist(s): same here...ok, it’s probably Fabrizio De André, but I gotta admit that Giorgio Vanni is the only one who can get me uncontrollably excited and so we have to give him credit for that

Song stuck in my head : at the moment? Well, I’m currently replaying TLoZ: Ocarina of Time and Saria’s Song/Lost Woods gets me everytime :’) I don’t know if it counts though, since it has no lyrics nor vocals

Last movie I saw : Professor Marston and the Wonder Women (finally) and I LOVED it

Last serie I watched : I’m rewatching F.R.I.E.N.D.S and the nostalgia oh god it hurts but it’s beautiful

When I created my blog : April 2012 (woah)

What do I post: mostly my stupid doodles

Last thing I googled : “short horror stories” lol

Do I have any other blog : nope

Do I get ask: rarely :( but I’d love to get more to compensate for the fact that irl I basically talk to 4 people in total

Why did I choose my url: Cibia’s been my nickname since forever, I just added “lady” because reasons

Following : *eye-rolling*

Followed by : *extreme eye-rolling*

Average hours of sleep : I think 7/8 hours a night or something

Instrument: only in my imagination

What I’m wearing: my jammies. There’s a pig and a little bird on it; I’ve called them Napoleon and Moses :’)

Dream job: next question please

Fav food; oh, that’s better! Bigoli with speck (a type of ham) and mushrooms, with lots of parmigiano cheese on top

Last book: Fahrenheit 451, for my last exam (even if I had already read it during high school)

Top 3 universe I want to join : let me think...oh, 1) pokémon universe; 2) pokémon universe; 3) p O k E’ m O N u N i V e R s E

#good night everyone #tag game #gne

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myneighborhood-thelake · 3 years

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Davis Double Century, May 2001

The short of it:

Two hundred miles is a really, really long way to ride a bike.

Ride: Davis Double Century (http://www.davisbikeclub.org/ddc/2001/index.htm)

When: Saturday, May 19, 2001.

Route: Loop course from Davis, through Napa, Solano, Lake and Colusa counties, back to Davis

Distance: 197.6 miles (by my computer)

Time: 16 hours 34 minutes total clock time, 12 hours 35 minutes bike time

Average Speed: 15.7 MPH

Max Speed: 46.5 MPH

Weight Loss: 14 pounds (195 pre ride, 181 post ride)

This was my first double century, and it was a great and incredibly tough experience. The Davis Bike Club puts on a great ride. It’s very well supported and well marked. Compared to other California doubles, the Davis Double has less climbing and more frequent rest stops which makes it a great first time double, so they say.

That said, it was still 200 miles in the saddle on a very hot day.

Lesson Lived: Slow and steady.

Lesson ‘I would like to’ Learn: I need to train for these things. With only 157 road miles under my belt in 2001 and about 50 in 2000, this was a big jump in miles.

I started in the dark at 4:50am and finished in the dark at 9:34pm. I always knew that ultra-cyclists were a tough breed, but this gave me some new respect. There is a series in California called the Triple Crown where you have to finish three double centuries in one year. Per the Triple Crown website Davis is listed as a good beginners double century “with only three moderate hills.” If those hills are moderate, then I don’t want to see anything tougher! I salute anyone who has accomplished the Triple Crown. One 200 miler was tough enough for me. Three or more in one year is amazing.

About the course: the first 45 miles are flat, the next 90 are hilly with three tough climbs and the last 65 are supposedly downhill. By the time I hit mile 135 I needed much more than a 1% downgrade to help me along. My cadence had slowed dramatically, and everything was focused on staying hydrated and fueled in order to have the energy to finish. At that point it all felt like an uphill to me. I was very glad that it was downhill, but it just didn’t feel like it.

For the most part I only thought about 2 minutes ahead at all times. I focused on the here and now, and that really helped. The hills were going to come no matter what, so why worry about them?

I only got worried once, around mile 167, when I saw a line of hills in the distance. I could only think, “please, don’t make me try and climb those hills. I won’t make it.” Luckily I was able to forget about the hills because at mile 167 I had the attention span of a gnat. By the time I started worrying I forgot about what was causing me grief. And the road turned before we had to do any severe climbing

The day was very, very hot. The forecast high was for 90deg, but there had to be a couple of sections on the course that got close to triple digits. By the end of the ride both my jersey and shorts had a coating of white on them from all of the salt that I had sweated out. The fluids on the course were Gatorade and water, and I took one Thermotab per hour. I don’t know if the salt tablets actually help or not, but I tend to do much better when I use them.

I did my best to stay within myself and hold a pace that I knew I could handle. I rode the first 100 miles in about 7 hours and 10 minutes and the second 100 in 9 hours and 24 minutes. I took naps at rest stops 5, Lunch (6.5) and 9, and I pulled of the road and took a break several times during the ride.

The only “low” point came at mile 170 when I wanted to keep riding but my legs had absolutely nothing left in them. I took a break by the side of the road, watched a bunch of people go by, ate some Gu, drank a bunch of water and recovered for a while. Other than that I just kept plugging along. It wasn’t pretty, but it was fairly steady, and I got the job done.

The weirdest part of the ride came at Rest Stop #7, mile 133, the top of Resurrection which is the toughest hill on the course. I was sitting on the ground and I noticed that my calves were moving. Both calf muscles were pulsing and twitching all by themselves. They almost looked like a heart pumping away. I have no idea what it meant as I never cramped and they pulsated for the next 4 rest stops and 67 miles, but I made damn sure to keep my fluids and electrolytes intake up. If anyone knows why muscles just start pulsating at will, I would love to hear the answer. It was very disturbing to watch.

After Rest Stop #10, mile 178, I got a bit barn sour and pushed pretty hard to get to the finish line. I just wanted to get it over with. This is probably where I did the most damage to myself as I forgot to drink for almost an hour. For most of the ride I could eat and drink, but at the end I could not even stomach solid food which for me is a major sign of dehydration. The post-ride shower felt incredible even if it was hard to stand up for more than 5 minutes at a time.

I knew that I couldn’t make it home that night, so I found a hotel and passed out cold. I think that the waitress at IHOP was a little shocked when I asked for extra sour cream with my omelet, but I deserved it!! What’s a few grams of fat when you have just lost 14 pounds……..

The long of it:

Goals: - complete as much of the ride as possible - stay within a manageable pace - don’t bonk, or at least don’t bonk hard

I have thought about the Davis Double Century (DDC) for several years now. For some reason it sounded like a good challenge, and after last weekends incredible century, the I Care Classic, I chose to take the plunge. My road miles over the last two years totaled 157 pre-DDC, and my MTB miles probably ran about 100 or so. I had to reset my computer, so I lost count of my annual total. Basically, by completing the DDC I almost doubled my total mileage for the year.

NOTE: undertraining for a double century is not cool.

I left work at about 4:30pm on Friday to drive up to Davis. I figured that it would take me about 2 hours, but with SF Bay Area traffic I was on the road for 3 solid hours arriving at the check-in at 7:30pm. I had planned well for the drive and did my best to eat and hydrate. The forecasted high for Saturday was 92deg F, and I knew that I would need to be well hydrated.

Check-in took all of about 15 seconds. The Davis Bike Club is extremely well organized. After picking up my registration envelope I drove out to my hotel, checked in, unloaded my gear and turned on the room air-conditioner. It was about 8:15pm and even though the sun was setting it was still very warm. Tomorrow was going to be a challenge.

Time for dinner, and where else to eat but Denny’s? For some reason I was looking forward to the processed hamburger that they call chicken fried steak. My pre-race meal was deep fried battered chicken fried steak and instant mashed potatoes smothered in gravy and a side of peas (soaking in butter). It may not sound like the best choice, but I was going to need the salt and calories in the morning. Plus it tasted pretty darn good.

Saturday morning.

The alarm went off at 3:30am. According to the literature the ride starts from 5:15am to 5:45am, and I want to be there right when we can start. I knew that it was going to be a long, hot day, so I wanted to get a few miles in before the sun comes up. I grabbed a cup of coffee at Denny’s, ate a banana and a Gu, packed up the car and drove the 9 miles to the starting line.

I arrived at the ride HQ, Davis Senior High School, at about 4:35am, and there were people already heading out. It turns that ride morning registration is open from 5:15am to 5:45am, but if you check in the night before you can head out anytime you want. On the course I met a tandem couple who had started out at 4:15am, and after the ride I talked to a volunteer who said that people were riding as early as 3:00am. You can start anytime that you want just make sure to bring lights and remember that the first rest stop (22.9 miles) opens at 5:30am.

Clothing had been a big concern for me. What should I wear? How much extra should I bring? The sun was not even up yet, and I was very comfortable in my sleeveless bike jersey (read: already warm).

Oh man, it’s gonna be hot today, so I chose to go with my sleeveless jersey. I put a pair of arm warmers into a jersey pocket just in case. That would be “just in case” I wanted to carry some extra weight around the course because I wasn’t going to need any cool weather gear today. I hustled to pump up my tires and clip on my lights, and I was rolling at 4:50am.

4:50am – the beginning:

Miles 0 to 2

The first mile or two is through town, and I was grouped up with about 5 other riders. This was OK because they were holding a decent pace, and they had better lights than my cheap Cateye. I don’t like riding in pacelines with people I don’t know, but I relaxed my rule for a little while. Soon we were out into the farmlands.

Miles 2 to 23

The first few turns are well marked and there are volunteers out (even at 5:00am) to waive you in the right direction. I carried a course map with me, but that was more for general info and knowledge of upcoming terrain because I never looked at it for directions.

After about 8 miles I chose to peel off of the paceline, and they dropped me in short order. The sky was getting lighter and the course is really well marked, with volunteers at most of the morning intersections, so I was fine alone.

I did hear talk on the course that there was a major crash (possibly a fatality) in the early morning before rest stop #1. It’s very dark, the pacelines are moving fast and there are some heavily trafficked roads. If you do choose to do this ride, please exercise some caution.

I soon learned the ‘secret’ of the DDC. After several pacelines screamed by me, I started noticing a trend. Very few of the pacelines were led by single riders. At the DDC if you want to make time – get behind a tandem. Over the course of the morning I must have seen 10 or 15 tandems pulling about 30 riders each. By the afternoon, the course hits the hills and the pack break up.

Right at about mile 20 I was cruising along peacefully and it dawned on me that the hardcore folks doing IM California hadn’t even hit the water yet. I made a mental note to watch the time and when 7:00am hit, send out a mental “Good Luck” to everybody pulling a full IronMan today.

Other than that little epiphany, I was content to motor along in my little chainring until rest stop #1.

Rest Stop #1 (which also doubles as Rest Stop #10, but we’ll get to that later…)

I stopped only long enough to pull on my sunglasses. As soon as I started rolling again a semi-truck blew by me. Actually it was a paceline being led out by 4 tandems. Speaking with some riders later it turns out that the lead tandem was hoping to break 9 1/2 hours on the course. I cannot even imagine averaging over 20 MPH on a double century. Wow!

Miles 26 to 40

Rest stop #2 was 19 miles of gradual downhill and 3 miles of climbing ahead. A nice portion of the first 19 miles was on a newly paved farm road with wide shoulders. I was riding South and the sun was just coming up which made for some great roadside shadows. I was able to use the shadows to critique my bike positioning, and I have to say that I didn’t look too bad with a flat back and extended legs. I was looking quite good!

Then again, it was only mile 30…… and speaking of mile 30, it was right around here that the clock hit 7:00am. I sent out my mental “Good Luck” and hoped that it would reach down to San Diego. As silly as it sounds I was more concerned about the people doing IM Cali, especially the Iron-Virgins, than I was about myself. Granted I only had 157 road miles under me in the last two years, but my mental state was already dialed in.

- I had 200 miles to ride (now only 170). - It was going to get very, very hot. - I was totally under-trained.

And, most importantly, there was NOTHING that I could do to change any of those facts!!!

Just ride baby, ‘cause there’s nothing else to do today.

Cruising along a creek just before the climb into rest stop #2 brought a nice chill to the air and more than a few pickups pulling boats out to Lake Berryessa. The road was packed with cyclists, but there didn’t seem to be much of that “pickup versus cyclist” animosity, and that was nice to observe.

The climb into rest stop #2 was a good wakeup. I geared down and pedaled on up mainly because there wasn’t much else to do. It was really early in the ride, and I had no desire to push my pace.

Rest Stop #2, Mile 40

Rest stop #2 was packed. I find it amusing that where the riders are grouped up the most (early morning) there are the fewest porta-potties. The line was easily 50 riders long for the one or two units that were available. I didn’t need the facilities, so I filled my water bottles, grabbed a couple slices of nut bread and headed out. I had a handlebar bag full of Gu which I was planning on eating at least hourly, but for an event of this length I needed some solid food too. I also took a Thermotab (salt tablet).

It may have been early in the day, but I was already sweating profusely.

Miles 40 to 58

The ride from rest stop 2 to rest stop 3 has a big climb called Cardiac Hill. As I pedaled my way to the top I was passed by a couple of guys who wanted to know what my race schedule is for the year. I wish that they had asked that question because I was going so darned fast but it was because my Km40 tri-bike stood out like a sore thumb in the 99.95% roadie crowd. The 0.05% was me…. ;-)

My unscientific study showed only one 650c wheeled bike doing the DDC – mine!

Overall I think that I did fine on my steep-angle frame, but I can’t help but wonder if it would be better to take on distance rides with a more traditional geometry. One of these days perhaps.

Other than that there isn’t much to report for this 18 mile stretch. I just kept those pedals turnin’, drank a bunch of water and ate a Gu. Slow and steady.

Of course I couldn’t miss the fact that the sun was now up, and the temps were rising fast!

Rest stop #3, Mile 58

It’s already getting warm.

Scratch that. It was warm at 5:00am.

It is now starting to get hot!

I grab a couple more slices of nut bread and fill my water bottles. I am feeling a bit tired, but I don’t have any desire to hang out in the rest stop so I move on.

Miles 58 to 75

As I rolled along I looked at my watch and saw that is was about 8:50am. I’ve been riding for about 4 hours now, but more importantly the swim leg of Ironman California is reaching its cutoff time. I again sent out a silent “good luck” to everybody who I hoped would be well onto the bike leg by now.

The ride from rest stop 3 to rest stop 4 is actually pretty fun. There are no major obstacles, and we are rolling along through some great foothills. The only major problem for now is my hands. With my TT bars, there are not too many hand positions to switch around to. I hadn’t felt the fingers on my left hand for most of the morning, so I road right-handed for a while and shook my left hand vigorously. After several minutes I finally get some blood flow back into my left hand.

Fingers are good to have, and I would like to keep mine.

Rest Stop #4, Mile 75

Can you say “hot”?

Can you say “no shade”?

Rest Stop #4 is at the Pope Valley Grange Hall, and it’s rural California at it’s finest – a dirt parking lot with very few trees around. At this point riders are starting to get serious about the heat. Almost everybody is filling water bottles and soaking their heads with the hoses. The water will evaporate quickly, but it sure feels nice for a couple of minutes.

Again I fill up my water bottles, but I don’t grab any solid food at this stop. It’s Gu from rest stop 3 to rest stop 5. I don’t feel like hanging out in the rest stop for long with the lack of shade, so after a minute or two I start riding again.

Miles 75 to 95

There is one hill between rest stop 4 and 5. I make it up OK, but it takes a bit out of me. Somewhere near the 90 mile mark, just past the Guenoc winery, I pull off and down a Gu. I am breathing way too hard to eat, and I am starting to feel weak, so I take a break on the side of the road. I drink, eat the Gu, catch my breath and start rolling again.

It does dawn on me that I have ridden over 90 miles, and I’m still not even to the halfway point of the ride.

Slow and steady. Slow and steady. I just keep making sure that my pedals keep going round and round.

Rest stop #5, Mile 95, Middletown High School

It is almost amusing how different rides can be so completely opposite. On my century last weekend I was hammering at mile 95. Today I can barely feel my legs, and I still have another 100+ to go.

In addition, I am craving solid food, but I know that I cannot eat and ride immediately afterwards. The temperature is way up there, so I decide to make this a long stop.

I eat one and a half peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and three Oreo cookies. I usually try to avoid cookies because of the sugar high, but they looked really good. They tasted good too. After I ate I laid out on a concrete bench for a power nap. I give myself 15 minutes to relax, digest the food and just rest my legs.

It was a bit of an odd scene at the rest stop/high school. There was an “invasion” of multi-colored, lycra clad cyclists eating, drinking and sleeping, and in the school’s gym there was some sort of dance rehearsal going on. There was a constant stream of girls running back and forth from the gym to the coke machine and payphone and back to the gym. All of the young ladies were wearing dancing dresses, complete with sequins, tiaras, etc. I am not sure who looked weirder to whom.

My 15 minute power-nap was most refreshing, but getting my legs back would be tough.

Miles 95 to 105

Although it is only 10 miles between Rest Stop 5 and 6, it is a very tough 10 miles.

OK, in all honesty, it was tough for the first mile as my legs got used to riding again. Then it was fun for the next 6 miles, and then it was Hell for the next 3 miles.

No wind. No shade and a monster climb up through Big Canyon. By now it was full-blown hot! This section was easily pushing the 100degF mark.

The 10 miles still took me about an hour to cover.

For some odd reason, I could not guess the average speed at which I was traveling, but I could precisely estimate the time at which I would arrive at the next rest stop. From rest stop 3 all the way through the end of the ride I would roll out of a rest stop knowing how far I had to ride before my next break. I would then say, “I’ll be there at 2:40pm” and I would arrive exactly on the mark. For some I rode straight through, and for some I stopped several times on the way, but I would always arrive exactly at the mark that I had set.

Big Canyon is the second hardest hill on the course. It would probably be the hardest hill on the course as it is the longest climb, but the hill at mile 125 is much tougher – mainly because nobody wants to climb a hill at mile 125.

….. and now back to Big Canyon.

The entrance into Big Canyon is a deceptive downhill. As I coasted along, getting my cycling legs back, one of my water bottles fell out, or so someone told me later. I had started off with three bottles, and I thought that I could get by with two given the frequency of the rest stops. Also, that bottle had fallen out about three times by now. I was tired of turning around to pick it up, so I let it be.

Had I been aware of the bottle falling I would have stopped. This was my favorite water bottle, a big blue QR bottle that I picked up at the ½ Vineman in 1998, but I was already down the road a ways. There was no way that I was going to backtrack in this heat.

Somewhere along the way I crossed the halfway point. 100 miles down and 100 more to go.

Up I climb into the canyon. It’s hot, and I am moving slowly. I do have my climbing cassette, a 13x26, installed today, but I did not swap out my chainrings. I am riding with a 56/42 front end, and at 7MPH I am grinding out at a cadence of less than 60 RPM’s.

Slow and steady. Slow and steady. Normally, that would have been my mantra, but on a hill like this with my current gearing it’s more like “Grind baby, Grind.”

Did I mention that it is really hot?

Actually it is getting to the “brutally hot” stage as “hot” and “very hot” are no longer adequate adjectives for this temperature.

Surprisingly I was able to catch and pass several people on the climb up Big Canyon. No matter how slow you are there is usually someone who is even slower.

By this time, full strength Gatorade is almost unpalatable, so I stick with water. I drink as the road curves left, and I drink as the road curves right. It’s incredibly hot, and I do not want to get dehydrated. I wish that I could bring in some drama to make this story more interesting, but, in truth, it was a grind, a long grind, a really long and really hot grind.

Almost at the top of Big Canyon I started feeling dizzy, and I had a hard time collecting my thoughts. Luckily there are a few trees around, so I pulled of to the left to take a break, slam a Thermotab and drink some more. An older couple pulls up on a Seven tandem to enjoy a bit of shade. Wow, what a sweet bike! A custom made titanium tandem. We chat for a couple of seconds then I mount up and head off to rest stop #6.

Rest Stop #6

It turns out that #6 was only about 1/4 mile away, just around a blind right corner. I could have been resting where there was fresh water instead of just on the side of the road, but it didn’t really matter. I really needed that roadside break.

It had only been 10 miles since the last rest stop and I was feeling hammered. Luckily this rest stop had a new food item – watermelon. Sweet and juicy watermelon is as good as it gets. I wolfed down 3 slices, filled up my water bottles, sucked down a Gu and started riding again.

Miles 105 to 114

Did I mention that Rest Stop 6 is NOT at the top of Big Canyon?

Nooooo, there’s still another 2+ miles of uphill to go! Luckily I feel better with my new found love of watermelon and I actually have cool water in my water bottles, so I am content to sit and grind my way to the top.

The next rest stop is the lunch stop, and it is only 9 miles away. On the way up I chat with a guy who is a nursing student and a father and he also rides the Davis Bike Club Brevet series. I am not too sure where he finds the time to get all of that done. A couple of years back he qualified for Paris-Brest-Paris which is way out of my league. My first 200-miler is the only goal for the day. The 750 miles of PBP is not even on my horizon. It is more than a little amusing that he feels compelled to tell me how little he has been able to train this year, only 100 miles per week on average. I chose not to clue him in that having just ONE 100 mile week would have been great for me.

We chatted about components and life until we hit the downhill that comes just after the Top of the DC right at mile 110 or so. I picked up some well earned speed and left him behind.

The downhills in the Davis Double Century are really nice. Good, non-technical turns that you can carry some nice speed through. My Km40 handles like a pig, but I am not even on my brakes once.

The last time that I rode this far was at Ironman Canada in 1998. It’s been three years since I have ridden 112 miles, and I cruise through mile 112 today with a smile on my face!

Rest stop #7, Mile 114 LUNCH!!!!

As I wait in line to make myself a sandwich I start talking with the guy in front of me. It is almost comforting to know that no matter how insane your non-athlete friends may think you are you can always bump into someone who is far more mentally unbalanced than yourself at an event like this.

Last weekend I rode a century – 100 miles. Last weekend the guy in front of me road a double century, and today he is riding another double century. That’s two double centuries in two weekends. Compared to him I feel relatively normal.

Sandwich and Sprite in hand I find some shade underneath a big tree, pull off my shoes and take on whole bite. My stomach rebels at the solid food.

I manage to pack in a couple of bites, but there will be very little solid food for me at this stop. I just can’t eat, so I sip my Sprite and lie down for a little while. The conversations drone on around me:

“How many Death Ride’s have you done?” “This will be my third Triple Crown” (at least 3 200-milers in one year). “Where are riding at next weekend?”

It’s mile 114, and there are people contemplating their next ride. I’m just contemplating some sleep. I pop up at my appointed time, gear up and start riding again. It has not cooled off any over the last 30 minutes or so that I was at the lunch stop.

In fact it has probably gotten just a bit hotter.

86 miles to go.

Miles 114 to 133

The course turns left and crosses over a stream leading into clear lake. Normally one can hope for some cool air near a stream.

Yes, one can hope, but it is not going to happen today.

Mile 115.4, take a left at the entrance to Wal-Mart. How nice, Wal-Mart has invaded the rural town of Clear Lake too.

The hill called Resurrection starts at mile 126, and I wind up pulling a paceline halfway there.

This is ludicrous! I am probably the least trained rider on the course, and people are stupid enough to suck my wheel. Do these guys know anything about me? Why do they trust me so much? No offense intended, but I think that it is pretty stupid to get that close to someone you don’t know. It’s almost worse than tailgating in a car.

I swerve left to let them by and they won’t budge. I swerve right and they follow blindly. Finally I give up and ignore their existence. If they take me down due to stupid riding I am going to be really pissed off. At the base of a short uphill they finally pull away.

POINT OF ETIQUETTE: If you draft off of someone for 5 miles, at least say “Thank You.” It’s not that hard to do considering that someone else has just helped you along – not that I’m bitter…..

And now back to the ride……

This is a monumental point for me. I have never ridden more than 120 miles.

At the base of another exposed, treeless hill I switch my computer from speed to distance to see when I break my personal distance record.

120 MILES !!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, we are now entering uncharted waters. Only these waters are hot and steep not dark and deep. I slowly make my way to the top of the hill. The downhill onto Resurrection is a blast. I max out at 46.3 MPH without even trying, but that all comes to an end at the base of Resurrection.

From the elevation chart it looks like Resurrection climbs about 1000 feet in about 4 miles which only averages out to a 5% grade. In spots it is probably steeper, but let’s take a little quiz.

What is more fun than climbing a 5% grade? Climbing a 5% grade that comes at mile 125!

What’s better than that? Throw in temps that are well above 95degF and probably pushing 100degF.

What’s even better than that? Why yes, a headwind is just the thing!

I would like to say that I felt miserable, but I wasn’t feeling very much at all. I couldn’t feel my left hand, and my legs were just plain tired. I keep promising myself that if I saw a shade tree then I was going to stop and rest. After I pass a couple of trees I finally stop where another guy has taken refuge.

Soon a sag wagon comes along. It turns out that the other guy is toast – he’s heading in. I get some cold water from the sag and sit down for a break. A couple more riders pull in too. Soon I am back on the road, going uphill. After a few minutes my water bottles have been sun baked and I’m drinking warm water again.

Has anyone noticed that “uphill” is a common theme here?

I stop again a few miles down the road. Only this time I stop next to the guy who is riding the beach cruiser. That’s not too good for the ego – here I am on my multi-thousand dollar ultra light racing bike, and lo and behold, some guy on a beach cruiser is keeping pace with me. Ouch.

In all honesty, it didn’t really bother me at all. We were both out here for our own reasons, and it was incredibly impressive to see this guy hammering along on a 35+ pound 5-speed.

Rest Stop #7, Mile 133, almost the top of Resurrection

I dropped my bike, grabbed my water bottles and lined up for a refill. The line was at least 25 riders deep, and I was not looking forward to the wait. One of the young volunteers is asking each person if they would like her to fill their bottles for them and most declined.

I may be insane, but I am not stupid.

“Yes please, one bottle with water and one with ½ Gatorade, ½ water.”

If she is willing to let me sit down while she fills my bottles then I am more than willing to let her. I grab some watermelon and a coke while my water bottles are filled for me. That’s really nice!!!

There are no trees at this highway pullout, so I find a spot underneath an umbrella and sit my butt down. At this point I took a look at my legs. My calves had taken on a life of their own. I was not moving, but my calves were. They were pulsing and twitching almost like a heart muscle. I wasn’t cramping and they were not in pain, but that was the first time that I have ever seen any of my muscles moving of their own accord.

After a few short minutes I realized that it was too hot to get much relief, so I saddled up and hit the road, pulsating calf muscles and all.

Miles 133 to 147

After a miniscule rise to the top of Resurrection, it’s all downhill to Rest Stop #8.

That’s not totally true.

From the profile map, it looks like it’s completely downhill, but there are a couple of flat sections thrown in. After climbing Resurrection and Big Canyon it’s really nice to get in a gravity assisted ride.

I was basically alone for this 14 miles, and it was awesome. I was actually able to catch one other rider, but other than that it was just me on a two-lane country road. I was able to hit my big chainring for a few miles of what one could almost call “hammering” (if you wish to be charitable). I wasn’t riding fast, but I felt pretty good. And it is awfully nice to feel just a little good when one is over 130 miles into a ride.

Unfortunately this feeling didn’t last too long. About a mile away from Rest Stop #8 I could feel the energy draining from my legs. I hadn’t overtaxed myself in the last few miles even though I had been riding a bit faster than before. Then again, this was mile 147, and I had been out here for over 12 hours by now. Loosing a little bit of steam was just to be expected. I often find it amazing that the highs and lows during a long event came occur almost simultaneously. One second I was feeling like a million bucks, and the next second I was struggling to keep the pedals turning.

Mile 147 Rest Stop #8

By this time I was sitting down at every rest stop, if only for a few minutes. This one even had chairs and the shade of a big old oak tree.

I loaded up on Gatorade and water and a few cookies, took a few minutes rest and got back on the road. My mental state was incredible. I was tired, I had over 50 miles to go, it was still very hot and I could have easily sagged it home, but that wasn’t even a consideration. There was riding to do, and I needed to get it done.

Miles 147 to 165

Fatigue was really pushing me down in this section. While it is slightly downhill it still took some pushing on the pedals to keep the wheels turning. Mentally I was feeling really good. I knew that I was tired and my legs had almost no energy left in them, but I also knew what I had to do.

I kept to my plan which was to drink as much as possible, eat often, take a salt tab or ibuprofen as needed and keep those pedals turning round and round.

By my standards this was a beautiful section of the course, and that helped a lot. I grew up in a rural section of California in the foothills, and this section was exactly that. True, the few trees that were around were oaks and not pine, but the effect was similar – a two lane country road cruising through the foothills under a wide open sky. I was in a good frame of mind.

Also the sun had reached its zenith some time ago and was heading down. It was still hot, but relief was in site. I was hoping to be back at the start/finish by the time it got dark, but I wasn’t too sure that was going to happen. In the past the knowledge that I had would not meet a goal – being done before dark – would have frustrated me to no end. But not today. There was nothing I could change about where I was, how far I still had to ride and how much energy I had to get it all done, so why waste energy on negative thoughts?

Although it wasn’t as hot, the air was incredibly dry. I had to drink constantly to keep my mouth from feeling like a dust storm. This was a good thing as it forced me to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.

Rest Stop #9, Mile 165, what used to be a one room schoolhouse

Since I was fatigued I knew that this was going to be a long stop.

I laid my bike down and walked over to the food line. Yet again the spread was amazing. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, salted potatoes, cookies of all sorts and a new treat – Cup o’ Noodles soup!!! Normally I would avoid Cup o’ Noodles because the sodium content is high enough to kill a Clydesdale (the horse, not the triathlete), but today was definitely NOT normal. Noodles submerged in salt broth sounded like just the ticket.

I gathered up my food just as the perfect resting spot came open, one of those folding beach lounge chairs. I plopped my butt down and started to feast.

I had been holding pretty much to myself for most of the ride, but the crowd here was very engaging. One rider was a double century junky with the Terrible Two (16,000 feet of climbing) and the Devil Mountain Double (18,000 feet of climbing) to his credit. After chatting for a bit I nodded off for some needed rest.

Have I mentioned that doing a double without training is very taxing on the body????

I woke up later and one rider was making his decision to pull out of the ride. He’d had enough. I found it most comical to listen to him.

“Two years ago, I spent 45 minutes in this very rest stop and then continued on. I ain’t going to do that again.”

Cool, I had only been here for 35 minutes – I had another 10 minutes to go…. ;-)

Soon those 10 minutes were up, and it was time to hit the road again.

Miles165 to 178

It took me a couple of miles before my legs felt like pedaling again, and shortly thereafter they didn’t want to pedal at all. I did what I had to do. I stopped, pulled off the side of the road and sat down for a few minutes. Two sag wagons came by, but I waived them off. This was just a tough spell. I knew that I could finish. I was pretty sure that I wouldn’t make it home before dark, so I just listened to my body and took a needed break.

One water bottle and one Gu later and it was back to the bike.

At one point the two lane country road widened and improved considerably. There was now a real bike lane and the pavement was great. A couple of miles later the local casino came into view. If you want people to gamble I would guess that you better have some good roads for them to drive on. Yes, the casino’s parking lot was full.

There was one little rise in this section, and it really hurt to ascend what could only have been about one hundred feet. Mentally I was doing great. I was setting the appropriate expectations, but they were very, very low expectations. What at one time in my life might have been “let’s try to break 20MPH” became “let’s try to pedal this bike.”

Slow and steady. Just get the job done.

Finally we were back in the farmlands and it was time to make some right and left turns. After being on essentially the same road for about 60 miles it was great to have to pay attention to the course markings again.

Rest Stop #10, Mile 178

I know this place!!!

Well, OK Rest Stop #1 doubles as Rest Stop #10, and I had been there once before in my life some 15 hours ago.

By now you probably know the drill – fill water bottles, grab a bit of food (this time a banana), sit for a spell and then get back on the road. Yet again the volunteers were awesome, arranging chairs, delivering food, checking on general well-being. This ride is a class act.

I only had 22 miles to go, and I knew that I would make it. It gave my ego a bit of a boost to see someone who had dropped out drive out to the rest stop to meet some friends who were still riding. I was sitting near them, and I listened to him describe how tough it had been for him with today’s conditions. This was not a competition by any means, but it felt good to know that I had done a great job of listening to my body and pacing myself. Coming into this event undertrained could have been a disaster, but I was doing great and only had 22 miles to go.

22 dark miles as the sun was now gone, but at least it was cooling off.

Miles 178 to 193

Since we were now back into the farmlands we had the added benefit of evaporative cooling from the irrigation canals. It was starting to feel quite pleasant other than the fact that I couldn’t feel the fingers in my left hand and my legs were hoping to jump ship to a new body.

Through the fields.

Earlier in the day I had enjoyed my shadow as it revealed a very nice aero-position. Now, the sun was down, so I didn’t have to see my shadow in what had to be a less than stellar hunchback impersonation.

Surprisingly I made a pretty big mistake once the weather cooled off. With the cooler temps and moisture in the air from the irrigation canals I forgot about drinking. In the last 20 miles of a 200 mile ride, I let myself get dehydrated because I quit thinking about one of the most important aspects of ultra-events – Hydration. The air was cool. I felt OK. Why drink?

Luckily it was no big deal this time, but I cannot forget this lesson in the future (especially when I try to ride more than 200 miles).

Rest Stop #11, Mile 193 or Where I Really Didn’t Want to Stop but Had no Choice

The Davis Double is well supported, well marked and has very few rules. One of those rules is, in my opinion, a good idea.

- After dark, riders must leave rest stops in groups of 5.

This increases the cyclists chance of being seen by motorists on the unlit two-lane farm roads that surround Davis. OK, this sounds like a great rule, at least logically, until you are the one who just wants to get the hell back to town and get off of your bike!!!

At the Plainfield Fire Station I was waived in by a volunteer and told to wait for 4 more riders. Two came in shortly after me, and they were raring to get back on the road, but since we had to wait for two more one of them decided to use the rest room. Soon two more riders came in and we had our five-some. As is usual in any cat-herding situation the second two-some decided to use the rest room because we had to wait for the first guy. After they left, the woman from the first two-some decided that it was finally a good time to hit the facilities.

During this interlude the volunteer in charge of headlight enforcement took a break to deal with some medical issues that were occurring on the course, and a tandem and a lone cyclist were able to cruise by without stopping.

Aaaaaargh, can we just get going now?

Miles 193 to 200

Not being a good team player I dropped the hammer when we hit the road again. It wasn’t much of a hammer, but I could see the lights of Davis and I was ready to be done.

I have no idea how fast I was riding because it was pitch black by now, and I could not see my computer except when the occasional big truck went by and shared his bright headlights with me. Who cares how fast I was going? To me it felt like I was flying!

I caught the tandem and the lone cyclist and left them in my wake, or so I thought. As usual they jumped onto my wheel for a free ride. I gotta look back more often.

I backed off the pace about 2 miles outside of town. Soon I started seeing streetlights. Civilization and the end of the ride coming up! A few left and right turns and there stood the Davis Senior High School.

SWEET!!!!

Home Sweet Home.

I parked my bike, checked in and rode the two blocks down to my car where I called my wife to let her know that I had finished the ride safe and sound. I love cell phones for calls like that.

After packing up my bike I drove back to the high school for a well-deserved shower. I just wanted to go to sleep, but I held myself up long enough to wash off a serious layer of salt deposits. Both my jersey and my shorts were well coated with a white layer of sweated salts.

I tried to eat some of the post-ride Mexican food, but due to dehydration my stomach could not tolerate any of it.

So I drove off into the night……. only to call my wife minutes later to tell her that I was going to find a hotel room for the night. There was no way that I could make it the two hours back to home without falling asleep at the wheel.

I drove around a bit and found a Budget Inn or Comfort Inn or Beside the Freeway Here’s a Bed Inn that had a vacancy. I further validated my choice to find a place the crash when I fell asleep while resting my head on the counter at the check-in desk. I was one tired puppy.

I was also one very satisfied puppy!

200 miles in one day. That feels pretty good.

On a down note, it took me about 5 weeks to recover. Losing 14 pounds in 16 hours is not a recommended diet for anyone. While I usually never get sick, I caught the flu a couple of weeks later that had me laid out for several days.

I’m pretty sure that better preparation (read: training) would have resulted in a much shorter recovery period, but then again……

that was one of the coolest things that I have ever done!

A double century without training.

Epic! Truly epic!

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jolie-in-the-underground · 6 years

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F.A.Q

GENERAL FAQ

So what's up with this blog?

This is @joliemariella's undertale specific sideblog! Here I reblog neat Undertale related content I've seen, post Undertale content of my own in the form of fanart and fanfics, and also answer asks for both myself and the main characters from any of my UT fics. Q is the most popular of course, but you can read more about him further down.

(Rest under the cut)

Where can we read your fanfics?

Over here on my Ao3 is generally the best bet! I do recommend following me here as well, though! Not only will I post when I update, but sometimes I'll also do sneak peeks, or even tumblr exclusive stuff!

Where can we see your fanart?

Well I have a gallery over on DA, but here on tumblr is a good place too. I tend to only post finished product over on DA, but if you check the jolie arts tag here on my tumblr, you can see my sketches and various silly drawings I don't post anywhere else.

Who all can we send in asks for?

Myself, obviously, but also any of the main characters from any of my fanfics! Just don't expect reaction images for all of them, lol. Any interactions you have with these characters (and the fact that they're answering asks at all) are not canon, but any information they give you IS. Unless they're lying, which some of them are more prone to than others, heh. I'll drop a hint that they're not being entirely truthful if that is the case, though.

The only exception here is my monstersona, Jo! If you're looking to send her an ask, please send it to @ask-sfhaven instead of here!

You have a Monstersona?

I do! You can see here here, or also check out my sister @nighttimepixels's and I's sideblog @swapfell-haven where we write journals and short stories for them as they live their lives in the Underground in the swapfell AU. The skelebros will be making a debut soon ;)

Are we allowed to send in... 'naughty' asks?

Have at it, man XD If it's TOO raunchy I might stick it under a cut just to save my followers who aren't super into explicit content.

I sent in an ask but you haven’t answered it, what’s up?!

My ask count for this blog tends to hover right around 100 no matter how many I answer, and I’m generally pretty good about doing at least a handful every day. That said, I will not answer every ask sent in. I definitely pare them down for the sake of my sanity. Sometimes they’re just silly and not really worth the time. Sometimes they’re boring and/or Q’s already received that exact question a bunch already. Other times they were only really pertinent in the wake of another ask that got answered, and if I wasn’t able to get to it in a timely manner then I’m not going to because the context is now lost. I’ll also sometimes save some asks for later because they just require a little more thought to answer than I’m up to putting into it at the moment. Also, if you send in several around the same time, then I’m not going to just sit and answer all yours in a row, I’ll spread them out over days or weeks.

Side note, questions about the actual mechanics of how Q or his world work are almost guaranteed to get answered eventually because that was kinda the entire point of opening asks for him in the first place, heh.

Do you take prompts, suggestions, or requests?

Nope! If you want to share your headcanons or something that's cool, and I might weigh in on them, but that's as far as I'll go.

Can we do fanart of Q (or any of your other AUs/Fics)?

I freaking love fanart okay, so yeah, have at it, man! Just make sure to tag me or send me a link and I’ll totally reblog it! If you don’t see me reblog it or at least comment on it within 24 hours try sending a link directly to me via chat because I probably just missed your tag or Tumblr straight up ate it.

Can we write fanfic about/involving Q (or any of your other AUs/Fics)?

Please do NOT do this. While I appreciate the gesture, fanfic of my fics/characters is not something that I enjoy receiving from strangers. There are a couple of people on my extremely short list of individuals I’m ok with writing Q or my other AUs, and trust me, I’ll have straight up told you if you’re on that list.

Q FAQ

Who the hell is this 'Q' and why is he such a goddamn troll?

Q is Quarantine Sans from my Undertale AU, Machinatale, which in turn is the foundation for my fanfic 'Skeleton ex Machina'. SeM is a sister fic to @tyranttortoise amazing fic, "Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady". The very brief backstory for him can be read here. As for why he's a troll, well, lets just say life and the happenings there in have left him a bit salty with a low tolerance for bullshit.

Who else is in this world of Q's?

Everyone that made an appearance in the Undertale game with the exception of Frisk and Chara (For the why of that, read here)! There are a total of 167 souls in Q's world.

Why only 167?

As far as he's been able to discover, that was the total number of characters and killable enemies within the original game. Unfortunately, whatever happened that gave them all life has not given them the ability to create life in turn, or age. It's a phenomenon that Q is investing a great deal of time in hopes of one day giving his people the ability to procreate, and their few existing children the ability to grow up, but it's a puzzle he's yet to crack.

Just how much control does Q have over his world?

It's nigh infinite as far as he can tell, beyond his inability to create new sentience. He's the only system admin so he's able to change anything about the system. There are facets of the citizens souls that he is not able to change, however, no matter how hard he tries. Papyrus still can't cook well, for one, no matter how many cooking programs he installs. Any of the main 'sprited' characters also have trouble maintaining any sort of shift in their appearance they adopt. Unless they pay close attention to it, the programming likes to shift back to their default appearance. Any of the citizens that came from 'random encounter enemies', on the other hand, are able to maintain such changes indefinitely.

Do the monsters in Q's world have souls?

They do! They're not exactly like regular monster souls, however, since they don't technically have magic in Q's world. Read his explanation on it here, or in chapter 5 of ‘Skeleton ex Machina’!

What happened to the seven human souls?

They still exist within Q's world! Read his explanation here.

What happened to the Amalgamates?

They also still exist! A few of them have actually been saved and returned to 'normal', though the bulk of them still exist as they appeared in game. You can read more about them in chapter 2 of ‘Skeleton ex Machina’.

Wait, so why does Q talk like he's already with the Landlady when answering some asks, and like he's still pursuing her in others?

Due to the nature of this blog, Q is answering most of them from the 'present', e.g. from whatever the latest point in ‘Skeleton ex Machina’ and ‘Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady’ is. Sometimes, however, depending on the ask, he's answering from the 'future', e.g. from after the end of Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady in the timeline where he's the one that ends up with the Landlady. (For those of you that don't know, Tyrant_Tortoise is planning to write an ending for each of the main skelebros where they're the one that ends up with Lady, Q included. That way all the readers wind up happy XD).

So who's Grim?

ONLY HIS BFF BRO. Grim was created by my sister, @nighttimepixels, and you can find out more about him over on @skeletonsgrim! He's the kinkiestsweetest skeleton you'll ever meet! He and Q meet in the 'future' after Q's already settled down with the Landlady and put a ring on it cuz he liked it so much and they quickly became best friends because Q is literally one of the only people on the entire planet who can actually see Grim. For all the particulars on THAT, check out @skeletonsgrim, lol. They're best bros and work together on crazy science projects in Q's private lab.

(If you guys can think of anything else particularly pertinent that should be added to this, drop a comment or ask and let me know!)

#Blog FAQ #Q FAQ #important information #machinatale #quarantine sans

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libraryleopard · 6 years

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2017 reading wrap-up

I don’t normally do this, but I figured that since this year was the first year I kept track of the books I read and also set a specific goal (1/3 books by authors of color), I thought it could be interesting to see what I read in 2017. And yeah, this is a little late but I didn’t have laptop over Christmas break so *shrug*.

I read 186 books total, with 73 being by authors of color. (That’s actually 11 more books than I needed to read, so yay for being an overachiever.) I think having a specific number to aim for helped me to diversify my reading and push me to read things I wouldn’t normally have read and I want to continue doing that. Of those 186 books, 108 had a person of color as a pov character and 61 had a LGBTQIAP+ main character. I think I’ll try to focus on reading more books with good disability representation next year because I only read 23 books with a disabled main character (not counting thrillers that used mental health as an an unreliable narrator plot twist because ugh).

I read mostly the same number of books (between 9-20) each month during school or summer, which surprised me since I normally think of myself as reading more during vacations. Also, I read 9 books when I should have been doing NaNoWriMo, which might explain why I didn’t finish..

Anyway, here’s the whole list below the cut if anyone wants to see!

*=reread

January

1/ Vicarious by Paula Stokes

2/ Run by Kody Keplinger

3/ Pantomime by Laura Lam

4/ Girl Mans Up by M-E Girard

5/ Don’t Fail Me Now by Una LaMarche

6/ The Force Awakens novelization by Alan Dean Foster

7/ The Forbidden Wish by Jessica Khoury*

8/ Timekeeper by Tara Sim

9/ Tattoo Atlas by Tim Floreen

10/ Labyrinth Lost by Zoraida Córdova*

11/ Life in Motion by Misty Copeland

12/ Wonders of the Invisible World by Christopher Barzak

13/ Peas and Carrots by Tanita S. Davis

14/ This Is Our Story by Ashley Elston

15/ The Impostor Queen by Sarah Fine*

16/ The Cursed Queen by Sarah Fine

February

17/ See No Color by Shannon Gibney

18/ This Side of Home by Renée Watson

19/ I’m Not Your Manic Pixie Dream Girl by Gretchen McNeil

20/ Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

21/ Rogue One novelization by Alexander Freed

22/ Railhead by Philip Reeve

23/ When the Moon was Ours by Anna-Marie McLemore*

24/ Truthwitch by Susan Dennard*

25/ Our Own Private Universe by Robin Talley

26/ The Girl From Everywhere by Heidi Heilig*

27/ Here We Are: Feminism For the Real World edited by Kelly Jensen

28/ We Are Okay by Nina LaCour

29/ City of Saints and Thieves by Natalie C. Anderson

30/ Empress of a Thousand Skies by Rhoda Belleza

31/ A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab*

32/ The Young Elites by Marie Lu*

March

33/ A Gathering of Shadows by V.E. Schwab*

34/ A Study In Charlotte by Brittany Cavallaro

35/ History Is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera

36/ The Rose Society by Marie Lu*

37/ The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden

38/ Windwitch by Susan Dennard

39/ American Street by Ibi Zoboi

40/ The Rest of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness

41/ The Midnight star by Marie Lu

42/ Heist Society by Ally Carter

43/ Pasadena by Sherri L. Smith

44/ A Good Idea by Cristina Moracho

45/ Camp So-and-So by Mary McCoy

46/ Piecing Me Together by Renée Watson

47/ Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde

48/ Not Otherwise Specified by Hannah Moskowitz*

49/ The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

50/ Norse Mythology by Neil Gaiman

51/ The Last of August Brittany Cavallaro

April

52/ Wintersong by S. Jae-Jones

53/ Every Breath by Ellie Marney*

54/ Scrappy Little Nobody by Anna Kendrick

55/ Dramarama by E. Lockhart

56/ Every Word by Ellie Marney*

57/ The Secret of a Heart Note by Stacey Lee

58/ Lucky Few by Kathryn Ormsbee

59/ The Bone Witch by Rin Chupeco

60/ Caraval by Stephanie Garber

61/ Radio Silence by Alice Oseman

62/ Yaqui Delgado Wants To Kick Your Ass by Meg Medina

63/ Every Move by Ellie Marney

64/ Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor

65/ These Vicious Masks by Tarun Shanker and Kelly Zekas*

66/ A Conjuring of Light by V.E. Schwab

67/ Fear the Drowning Deep by Sarah Glenn Marsh

68/ The Valiant by Lesley Livingston

69/ 37 Things I Love (In No Particular Order) by Kekla Magoon

70/ The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli

71/ The Ship Beyond Time by Heidi Heilig

72/ Alex, Approximately by Jenn Bennett

73/ Kissing the Witch by Emma Donoghue

74/ Allegedly by Tiffany D. Jackson

May

75/ The Creeping Shadow by Jonathan Stroud

76/ Hunted by Meagan Spooner

77/ The Mystery of Hollow Places by Rebecca Podos*

78/ A Crown of Wishes by Roshani Chokshi

79/ Girl Out of Water by Laura Silverman

80/ How To Make a Wish by Ashley Herring Blake

81/ To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han

82/ P.S. I Still Love You by Jenny Han

83/ P.S. I Still Love You by Jenny Han

84/ Highly Illogical Behavior by John Corey Whaley

85/ You’re Welcome, Universe by Whitney Gardner

86/ The Pearl Thief by Elizabeth Wein

87/ The Weight of Stars by Tessa Gratton*

June

88/ Does My Head Look Big In This? By Randa Abdel-Fattah

89/ Diverse Energies edited by Tobias S. Buckell and Joe Monti

90/ The Abyss Surrounds Us by Emily Skrutskie*

91/ The Lines We Cross by Randa Abdel-Fattah

92/ The Edge of the Abyss by Emily Skrutskie

93/ Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia

94/ Cat Girl’s Day Off by Kimberly Pauley

95/ Rook by Sharon Cameron*

96/ York by Laura Ruby

97/ Saints and Misfits by S.K. Ali

98/ Down Among the Sticks and Bones by Seanan McGuire

99/ False Hearts by Laura Lam*

100/ Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

101/ The Names They Gave Us by Emery Lord

102/ Tash Hearts Tolstoy by Kathryn Ormsbee

103 That Thing We Call A Heart by Sheba Karim

104/ In A Perfect World by Trish Doller

July

105/ Defy the Stars by Claudia Gray

106/ Want by Cindy Pon

107/ Behold the Bones by Natalie C. Parker

108/ The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee

109/ When Dimple Met Rishi by Sandhya Menon

110/ The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

111/ This Savage Song by Victoria Schwab*

112/ Shadowshaper by Daniel José Older*

113/ Our Dark Duet by Victoria Schwab

114/ If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio

115/ Because You Love To Hate Me edited by Ameriie

116/ Wildlife by Fiona Wood

117/ Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson*

118/ The Diviners by Libba Bray*

119/ Another Brooklyn by Jacqueline Woodson

120/ Skunk Girl by Sheba Karim

121/ The Girls at the Kingfisher Club by Genevieve Valentine

122/ Lair of Dreams by Libba Bray*

123/ Flying Lessons and Other Stories edited by Ellen Oh

124/ Amberlough by Lara Elena Donelly

August

125/ The Girl at Midnight by Melissa Gray*

126/ The Next Together by Lauren James

127/ Past Perfect by Leila Sales

128/ The Library of Fates by Aditi Khorana

129/ Once and For All by Sarah Dessen

130/ Daughter of the Burning City by Amanda Foody

131/ Burn For Burn by Jenny Han and Siobhan Vivian

132/ Radio Silence by Alice Oseman*

133/ The Great American Whatever by Time Federle

134/ Miles Morales by Jason Reynolds

135/ Heartstone by Elle Katharine White

136/ Saving Francesca by Melina Marchetta

137/ Solo by Kwame Alexander

September

138/ The Savage Dawn by Melissa Gray

139/ Boyfriends With Girlfriends by Alex Sanchez

140/ Brooklyn, Burning by Steve Brezenoff

141/ Dove Arising by Karen Bao

142/ Girls Made of Snow and Glass by Melissa Bashardoust

143/ Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

144/ Little and Lion by Brandy Colbert

145/ Genuine Fraud by E. Lockhart

146/ Mechanica by Betsy Cornwell

147/ Warcross by Marie Lu

148/ Spinning by Tillie Walden

149/ Release by Patrick Ness

150/ Here Lies Daniel Tate by Cristin Terrill

October

151/ Binti by Nnedi Okorafor

152/ Wonder Woman: Warbringer by Leigh Bardugo

153/ Dress Codes For Small Towns by Courtney Stevens

154/ Shadowhouse Fall by Daniel José Older

155/ Moxie by Jennifer Mathieu

156/ Venturess by Betsy Cornwell

157/ Night of Cakes and Puppets by Laini Taylor

158/ An Enchantment of Ravens by Margaret Rogerson

159/ When I Am Through With You by Stephanie Kuehn

160/ Wild Beauty by Anna-Marie McLemore

161/ Romantic Outlaws by Charlotte Gordon

November

162/ Speak Easy, Speak Love by McKelle George

163/ The Language of Thorns by Leigh Bardugo

164/ You Bring the Distant Near by Mitali Perkins

165/ Long Way Down by Jason Reynolds

166/ In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan

167/ A Line in the Dark by Malinda Lo

168/ Beasts Made of Night by Tochi Onyebuchi

169/ Echo After Echo by Amy Rose Capetta

170/ Geekerella by Ashley Poston

December

171/ You Don’t Know Me But I Know You by Rebecca Barrow

172/ Like Water by Rebecca Podos

173/ Last Leaves Falling by Fox Benwell

174/ Black Boy, White School by Brian F. Walker

175/ Song of the Current by Sarah Tolcser

176/ They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera

177/ The Wicker King by K. Ancrum

178/ If I Ever Get Out of Here by Eric Gansworth

179/ Empress of a Thousand Lanterns by Julie C. Dao

180/ King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table by Anne Berthelot

181/ Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant

182/ Life On Mars by Tracy K. Smith

183/ Grendel’s Guide to Love and War by A.E. Kaplan

184/ The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

185/ The City of Brass by S.A. Chakraborty

186/ You Don’t Know Me But I Know You by Lilly Anderson

#lulu speaks #lulu reads

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stereksecretsanta · 6 years

Text

Merry Christmas, @substanceofmysoul!

It had been a long time since he was last in Beacon Hills, too long, not long enough. If you were to ask Stiles Stilinski how long he’s been gone he'd probably say something along the lines of 3 years and 167 days, but who was counting? Why not go back before you would say? If you miss something so much you’re counting the time then just go back, well it’s a little more complicated than that. This can be a little confusing so let’s go back to 3 years and 168 days ago, the day everything went to shit. It was Stiles high school graduation as well as his 18th birthday, and finally, after 3 years of constant battles with the supernatural and late night essay writing, and FINALLY Stiles could blow this popsicle stand. There's’ really nothing keeping him here. Hi dad has finally conceded to taking care of himself if it meant Stiles would leave this Hell mouth of a town. Most of his friends are leaving, and those who aren’t he isn’t really worried about. It’s not like there are any handsome, brooding, sad werewolves that need him to stay at all. That means Stiles has no reason to stay, he can leave without a care in the world.

No.

Stiles wishes he wasn’t so stubborn that he couldn’t talk himself out of doing something so stupid, because maybe then he could talk himself out of breaking his own heart. Unfortunately he isn’t that strong which brings us back to June 23rd 2016, standing in front of the beaten down crummy loft that Derek Hale calls a house. Knocking on a door he probably shouldn’t be knocking on, but for some bizarre reason he can’t seem to talk himself down and before he knows it the door is open. Before even stepping into the loft the words come spilling out of his mouth like an uncontrollable river of marbles spilling down the world’s tallest mountain…

“Hey I’ve kind of been obsessed with you since I first saw you in the woods and I need you to tell me if there is any hope because if there is I will stay right here and we will figure this out together, I just really need to know because I can feel that something is here and I kinda think you might be my soulmate but you haven’t said anything because of my age and I totally get it dude cause my dad’s the Sheriff but I’m eighteen today but I don’t want to push you to do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing but if you could stop me from talking that would be great because I sort of lost control of my own brain after admitting that I’m so crazy in lov-”

“STILES!”

“What?”

“Shut up and let me talk.”

Stiles nods in acknowledgement, makes a zipper motion over his lips and waits with bated breath and hope for once since here, waiting for the answer he wants and so desperately needs.

“You’re not my soulmate.”

“I knew...Wait, what?”

Derek didn’t meet Stiles gaze as he said the words that shred his heart to pieces “If you were my soulmate your name would have appeared on my arm the day I met you 3 years ago seeing as I was already 21. Besides do you really think I’d want you to stick around? You’re such a spastic brat I’d end up cutting off my own arm just to cut off the bond.”

Stiles could feel his eyes fill with tears but he cleared his throat and decided to get the hell out of dodge before he embarrasses himself even more. Before he turns, realizing he never actually went in, he says

“You could’ve just said no” and turned and walked away without even looking at Derek.

Two days later his bags were packed in the back of his jeep and he was driving out of Beacon hills for what he thought then would be forever.

He’d been travelling all across North America and ended up in Salem of all places only 170 days into his travels when his magic first manifested. At first he thought ok, so I’m a witch, that explains why I’m being stalked by the Supernatural across the country.

Sadly being a witch would’ve been a good thing in comparison to what he actually was.

He found out he was a Spark, he is quite literally a walking talking endless supply of untapped magic, and that isn’t even the tip of the iceberg to what he can do. Somewhere around Vancouver he learns that he is the source of magic in Beacon Hills, He puts the Beacon in Beacon hills. His magic attracts all sorts of creatures some looking for protection others looking for a power bar, causing him to have quite an interesting trip around the world.

That’s not the story for today though kiddos, that one is for another day.

Today is June 25th 2020 and he is standing breathless and the beginning of the preserve heaving like a mad man, bags in his car, and fury in his eyes. He is standing there with the name DEREK HALE printed on his left wrist in big, bold, black letters. He was going to maim the stupid asshole, and after he maims him he's going to kill him. Derek Hale has some explaining to do. Which is why Stiles dragged his ass from Poland on an overnight flight and is stomping through the forest like a demon of hell himself only stopping shortly when he sees the fully remodeled Hale house, but quickly resumes on his path screaming out as he walked.

“DEREK HALE GET YOUR FURRY LITTLE WEREWOLF ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!!!”

He could hear a lot of scrambling coming from inside the house when out came the man of the hour himself looking as sheepish as a misbehaved dog and scrambling like he had been thrown out of the house.

He looked up at Stiles through his lashes and said “Happy Birthday?”

“ Are you fucking kidding me Derek?” Thunder roared up above them and clouds rolled in.

“We should go inside Stiles, it looks like it’s going to rain”

“No, you and me we are going to talk right now, explain. Explain why you were so quick to break my heart.”

“Because I wasn’t...”

“Wasn’t what? Brave enough to love me? Man enough to wait for me? Because of what Derek?”

“BECAUSE I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!”

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME DEREK?! YOU BROKE MY HEART BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT YOU WEREN’T GOOD ENOUGH?!”

“I wasn’t, you were so good and had so much hope and so much going for your future that I thought that if I let you stay I would ruin you.”

At that confession the ground shook beneath them, and Derek looked so confused but at the same time looked ready to throw Stiles over his shoulder and race to safety and that lost look in his eyes is what made Stiles calm down and the ground stopped shaking.

“Continue” said Stiles, looking into Derek's eyes.

“When I found out you were my soulmate I was a little peeved and confused because I didn't really know you, but then I got to know you and you were the bravest, most selfless, compassionate young man I’ve ever met in my life, and suddenly I knew I couldn't keep you.”

“Keep me? I'm not a pet Derek”

“I know, I know, that’s not what I mean. I meant I couldn’t keep you for seeing the world, from exploring and getting out of here, so I kept quiet and let you think that I don’t love you when the reality is that I adore you more I should. Then you were 18 and so beautiful and willing to love me and all I wanted to do was say stay, stay now, stay forever, but I knew I couldn’t love you the way you deserved to be loved.”

“Who are you to decide that?”

“You deserve light Stiles, light, and love, and joy. I was half a man who couldn’t figure out a reason to stay alive and you didn't deserve that, didn’t deserve to put me together only to watch me fall apart. So when you came to me that day I decided to let you go, only for a little while so that I could work on becoming a person worthy of your love. I knew that my name would appear on your arm on your 21st, and I had to let you go with the hope that you would return.”

“And what if I didn’t, what if I decided that I couldn’t handle a second rejection and never returned?”

“Then I would have gone after you for as long as it took to find you, because now that I know that I deserve love, I will never, ever let you walk out of my life. So if you’re ready to have me and if you would still even want me I am here, a partially whole man missing just one piece to make him complete.”

“You’re an idiot.”

With those words there was a standoff that felt like a million years but in reality only lasted seconds, followed be an embrace and a kiss that would have put movies to shame.

The breeze was gentle, and the clouds rolled away and all that was left was hope for the future.

The end

#substanceofmysoul #stereksanta17 #*fic17 #*gifts17

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seriouslyhooked · 7 years

Text

Back to You (The CS Mixtape) Part 167/?

Series of CS oneshots inspired by music. Collection on FF Here.

A/N: Reader requested EF AU oneshot where Emma is a princess (duh), and Killian is a boy she fell in love with years ago. He’s gone away to sea for a long time, but they agreed that one day they’d find their way back to each other. This chapter shows a glimpse of that day and it goes with the song ‘Back To You’ by Twin Forks.

Rising with the sun had long ago been something Emma grew accustom to. It was a strange habit for a princess to be sure, especially when no one else in the castle would be up for some time yet, but for Emma the light of a new morning would dawn and she would rise each and every time. It was a part of her now, and it was a tribute of sorts to a man she loved who was always half a world away, carrying her heart in tow.

“But not today,” Emma whispered aloud as she smiled up to the ceiling of her bedchamber, her excitement growing more palpable by the minute. “Today he’s coming back to me.”

The realization was enough to prompt Emma out of bed and into a dizzying state of movement. There was so much to consider, but nothing big enough to ease her mind of the rushing sensation that something massive was just on the horizon. After years away, Killian Jones – her Killian - was finally going to come home. She’d waited what felt like a whole lifetime to have a real chance with him and finally today was to be that day. Killian’s service as a Lieutenant in the royal navy of another kingdom was up today, and with his word now lived up to, and his commitments achieved, Emma knew there was nothing that could keep her traveling sailor from coming home again.

These were the happy and anxious thoughts that clung to Emma as she milled around her room, choosing which dress she thought best or how exactly she wanted to look for Killian’s arrival. She had dreamed of this moment so many times, and she wanted it to be perfect, but as her tizzy of anticipation grew louder and louder, she was calmed by a familiar voice in the back of her mind, a voice she’d gone to for comfort more times than she could count over the past five years.

“Anything will be perfect, my love. There’s nothing the worlds over that could ever compare to my swan.”

Emma smiled at that, biting her lip to keep the full grin from spreading over her face, but she felt her hands still some and her worries ease away with the quiet comfort. Of course Killian wasn’t here yet, but time had done nothing to dull the memories Emma had of him, and the lilt of his voice mixed with that somehow silken gravel rang so clearly through her mind even all of these years later. She could recall almost every moment of the time they’d spent together during their childhood, including that fateful day he’d happened upon that unusual nickname. No one had ever called her anything but ‘Princess’ or ‘Emma,’ but that endearment of being his swan had come to mean so much to Emma. If that was how he saw her, as graceful, and beautiful, and magical, then she would gladly accept that. After all she loved him with all her heart and thought the world of him too. It seemed only fair that he should feel all of the same love that she did.

Eventually the waiting and pacing in her room had to give way to something else. The confines of her chambers could no longer hold Emma’s restless spirit and so she moved through the castle as quietly as could be, passing by some of the staff along the way and greeting them kindly but not stopping to chat. She had to get beyond the palace walls and breathe some fresh air. It would help, she knew, and she would feel better for it in the long run.

Finally she made her way into the palace gardens, a scenery where in years past late morning hours turned to afternoons and evenings almost all of which were spent by Killian’s side. They’d once been so young that the only thing they fancied were games of chase or hide and seek, but with more maturity came different perfect days. Many times Emma would come out here with a good book about pirates and heroes and get lost in a world totally different than her own. But she was never lost enough that she ever lost sight of Killian. For her whole living memory he had been her constant, until it was time for him to face his destiny, a destiny Emma couldn’t understand at first but that in time she’d come to accept.

“It’s not that I’d ever choose to leave you, Emma. Surely you know that,” Killian had said the first night he told her of his enlisting in the navy just as his elder brother Liam had. “But after all Liam has done for me, I have to try and repay him. Besides,” he’d said as he brushed a fallen tear from her cheek, looking like he was fending off his own onslaught of emotion. “I’ve every intention of becoming a man worthy of a woman like you, and this seems as good a way as anyway to make that happen.”

“You’re already enough for me,” Emma had whispered, holding onto his jacket with an unrelenting grasp, almost like she’d been afraid he would disappear into the night air without a trace.

“And you, swan, are everything to me. Which is why the very day that my service is up I’ll be here. The first place – the only place – I will come is back to you.”

“You promise?” Emma had asked, and without hesitation he’d given his word, promising so much more than just his return. He’d promised her forever that night, and then he’d offered the sweetest sentiment in parting that Emma held close all these years later.

“What’s five years when you have true love?”

The truth was it was everything and nothing all at once. The longing Emma fended off the past one thousand eight hundred and twenty five days was sharp and almost painful, but in that time Emma had done some growing of her own. She’d focused on her studies, both magical and practical, and she’d taken full advantage of the time Killian was away to watch her own mother and father in how they ruled the kingdom. Someday this place would be Emma’s to rule and protect, and she was ready for that responsibility now, but she’d feel even better about taking on such a task if the man that she loved was by her side. Luckily Emma had no need to worry about her parents’ reaction when Killian did return. They were both understanding and encouraging of Emma finding the magic and the love life had to offer, and there would never be a day when Snow White and Prince Charming stood in the way of true love. No, it would all work out in the end. All Emma and Killian needed was to finally be together and then life would become all Emma had dreamed and hopefully so much more.

Emma smiled at that as her hand reached for a pristinely pink rose in the center of the garden. She felt the softness of the petals, but at the contact she got more than the flash of a memory. Instead her vision filled with something current, something happening right now. A royal navy ship pulling into the harbor closest to the castle. The sea birds were calling, the waves were slow and sure, and the sounds of the docks were present and real as the ship moved closer, and then Emma was back in her garden once more, certain that the vision she’d just gotten was a sign. Killian was here! He was here and she had to go to him now, waiting just wouldn’t be enough.

With that Emma set off at an unladylike sprint through the grounds, rounding the corners of each grove in the castle grounds heading towards the stables. On the way though she ran right into her tutor and good friend Tinkerbelle, surprising the fully-grown fairy with the impact and the clear rush Emma was in.

“Princess?” Tinkerbelle called out before the alarm grew in her voice as Emma kept moving with barely a ‘Sorry Tink’ to spare. “Emma? Emma where are you going?!”

“Today’s the day!” Emma said as her only means of explanation as she saddled her horse and smiled even wider. Today was the day. Today was the day! Finally after a wait she couldn’t even believe she’d made it through.

“The day - Emma what are you … oh goodness, Emma, surely you don’t mean what I think you mean. Five years he’s been gone. Five years without a single word from that boy and you still believe he’s coming back here?”

A sharp pang hit Emma in the chest at the doubt she could hear in her friend’s voice, but underneath it Emma knew it came from a place of caring. Tink didn’t mean to be a skeptic after all, but she was protective of Emma as her magical charge, and despite all appearances Tinkerbelle was a scrappy one. She had a temper that flared when the people she cared about were threatened, and Emma had to appreciate that kind of loyalty even if the lack of faith in Killian made her heart hurt.

“He didn’t need to send word,” Emma said with all the patience she could muster, looking back at Tink as she spoke. “He was with me all the while. In every sunny day, in every falling star… he was here, Tink. He was always here.”

“Oh Emma,” Tink said, this time not with doubt but with a warmth Emma more readily expected from her friend. Now Tink’s eyes filled with understanding, and at the very least Emma knew Tink admired her propensity for hope. “Tell me you’ve at least told your parents about this escapade.”

Now Emma laughed aloud, shaking her head as she got on her horse and stroked the gentle beast’s neck with affection.

“There was no time,” Emma said with a gleeful smile. “Besides, you know how my Mom loves a good surprise.”

Emma heard the grumblings from Tink that said they both knew the opposite was actually true, but Emma didn’t dare to stall any longer. She wished Tink a fond goodbye, knowing it was only a matter of time before Tink reported the news to her parents. Her mother would of course be moved to a ‘state’ as they all liked to call it, but Emma knew her father would rise to the occasion, calming Queen Snow in that way only he could ever do, and by the time Emma and Killian were back the palace would be prepped and ready for his welcome. That, however, was hardly of concern to Emma, for the only thing that mattered was getting to the harbor swiftly and ending this long spell apart once and for all.

After a full out ride that was probably the fastest any person had ever made it from the palace to the sea in the history of the kingdom, Emma could see the outline of the town and the ocean before them. The docks were hidden from here, but a pulsing sense of energy moved through Emma, swirling within her system as she and her trusty steed galloped through the streets to her destination that they finally found without too much delay.

Jumping down from her horse, Emma felt a tingling sensation coursing through her. Her nerves were all right there at the surface, as if every feeling was sparking all at once. Years and years of missing Killian and convincing herself he’d be here were coming to the forefront but fear was nowhere to be found in the heady mix of all Emma’s emotions. Instead she closed her eyes, expelled a heavy breath, and let herself relax, grounding herself in the trust she’d always have in Killian.

“Swan.”

The voice could have been a figment of her imagination, but the tone was different than before. All of the previous boyish hints had faded, but none of the feeling had been lost, and none of the adoration had ebbed away in all this time. For a second Emma remained frozen, almost unable to believe that this could be really happening, but then she opened her eyes she saw Killian standing before her, looking at her like a man who was seeing sunlight for the first time in years.

“Killian,” Emma whispered, feeling so choked up with relief joy that she barely recognized herself. It didn’t matter though, for the smile that tugged at Killian’s lips turned into a full blown grin when she called out his name, and his cerulean eyes shone with enough raw emotion to tell Emma he hadn’t forgotten her in any way and that his love had grown through their too-long absence just as hers had.

The next thing she knew they were both in motion, coming together for an embrace so many years in the making. And when Emma was back in Killian’s arms once more, something that had been lost inside her clicked back into place. Finally she had the peace and exhilaration of loving and being loved in return that had been absent for years. Killian was back, and her heart was restored, making the whole world a brighter and more impossibly beautiful place. This was what it felt like when two souls that were meant to be together found their way again, and Emma swore silently to herself as she held onto Killian for dear life that she wouldn’t let such a separation come again. He was here and he was hers, and she was just as much his in return. So no matter what life may bring, Emma was sure they’d face it together side by side as they were always meant to.

The kiss they shared then out there in the street with no care of passing townspeople was just as passionate and heated as the ones Emma dreamed of every day since he had left. It was a testament on both their parts of love so pure it couldn’t be dulled, and it almost hurt to break away, but when they did, both of them trying to catch their breath, Emma took the utmost comfort in the molten cobalt color of his gaze, that took in all her features with an appreciation and admiration that spoke to the true and unyielding force of his feelings for her.

“Gods how I love you, Emma,” he said then, and Emma felt a blush creep over her cheeks even as she smiled. She could tell he hadn’t meant to say that so bluntly, and the way he moved to scratch behind his ear was a sure tell that he was slightly embarrassed by the outburst, but she couldn’t regret it in any way.

“Oh really?” Emma teased, running her hand over his chest lovingly as she tilted her head and arched a brow. “How much would you say?”

“More than a man can love anyone or anything in this life, Emma. You’re everything, as you well know, and I’ve every intention of proving that to you for the rest of our lives.”

Emma was about to make another witty comeback, but then Killian pulled something from his pocket and the next thing she knew he was kneeling before her right there, pouring out his heart and asking for the kind of commitment she’d been ready for for years. The ring he offered was beautiful too; an unbelievably clear and sparkling yellow diamond, but Emma wouldn’t have cared what it looked like. All that mattered was the love Killian was offering her, and the chance at happiness she’d always wanted with him since she was but a girl.

“I realize that you deserve far more than this moment, swan. I should have planned this in a way befitting a princess, but I can’t bear to wait a moment longer. Not after so much time apart. I love you, Emma, and I need you to know that my dream has always been to see you happy, and I know in my heart that together we’ll find that…”

“Yes!” she said then, completely ignoring that he hadn’t asked a question, but it mattered not to Killian who was back on his feet in a second, slipping the ring on her finger before pulling her into his arms and twirling her to the point where her feet came off the ground. Emma laughed in that moment, feeling lighter than air, and only after they’d kissed again, sealing this promise with passion and love did he smile at her, pushing back a wayward curl that had fallen from her golden braid just behind her ear.

“So you’ll marry me, love?”

“That’s a given, sailor,” Emma replied, running her hand along his jaw affectionately before kissing him once more and taking his hand in hers, leading him back home and to the life two such loving souls deserved to have together for now and always.

……………..

I was young so I forgot Which was my place and which was not Thought I had a good shot I took it right in my eye

Look ahead, look behind Take another, I don't mind I, oh, I, oh

Follow the signs right back to you Back to you, back to you I know they wind right back to you Back to you

So, put a posy in your hair Pretend you couldn't give a care Whistle past the graveyard Even the dead deserve a song

Let the moon do what she does She don't need to make a fuss She don't know she shines for us Something tells me that she does

Follow the signs right back to you Back to you, back to you I know they wind right back to you Back to you, back to you Time after time, I follow signs I know they wind right back to you

Love, lower your eyes Leave me a sign

Follow the signs right back to you Back to you, back to you I know they wind right back to you Back to you, back to you I trust the signs so I may find my way to you Back to you, back to you Follow the signs right back to you

Post Note: So first and foremost thank you to the reader who requested this trope. I know it took me forever to write it, but it was such a nice break from school and I am so grateful for that. Also want to thank all of you sweethearts who have been rereading this mixtape and my other stories in my absence. To all of you who have commented and reached out, and to those of you who are just so good at doing so when my new chapters finally do come out, you are great and I appreciate you! Hope all is well with each and every one of you and thanks again for reading!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9,Part 10,Part 11, Part 12,Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24,Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31,Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35, Part 36, Part 37, Part 38,Part 39,Part 40, Part 41, Part 42, Part 43, Part 44, Part 45,Part 46,Part 47, Part 48, Part 49, Part 50, Part 51, Part 52, Part 53,Part 54,Part 55, Part 56, Part 57, Part 58, Part 59, Part 60,Part 61,Part 62, Part 63, Part 64, Part 65, Part 66, Part 67, Part 68,Part 69,Part 70, Part 71, Part 72, Part 73, Part 74, Part 75,Part 76,Part 77, Part 78, Part 79, Part 80, Part 81, Part 82, Part 83,Part 84,Part 85, Part 86, Part 87, Part 88, Part 89, Part 90,Part 91,Part 92, Part 93, Part 94, Part 95, Part 96, Part 97, Part 98,Part 99,Part 100, Part 101, Part 102, Part 103,Part 104, Part 105,Part 106, Part 107,Part 108, Part 109, Part 110,Part 111, Part 112,Part 113, Part 114, Part 115,Part 116, Part 117, Part 118,Part 119,Part 120, Part 121, Part 122, Part 123,Part 124, Part 125,Part 126, Part 127, Part 128,Part 129,Part 130, Part 131,Part 132,Part 133, Part 134, Part 135, Part 136, Part 137, Part 138,Part 139,Part 140, Part 141, Part 142, Part 143, Part 144, Part 145,Part 146, Part 147, Part 148,Part 149, Part 150, Part 151,Part 152, Part 153, Part 154, Part 155, Part 156, Part 157, Part 158,Part 159, Part 160, Part 161, Part 162, Part 163, Part 164,Part 165, Part 166

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worstzombiehunter-ever-blog · 7 years

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[400 Things You Probably Never Wanted to Know About Kris]

1. Name: Kristoph Willhem Becket 2. Nickname(s): Kris 3. Birthday: August 13th, 1993 4. That makes you (age): 24 5. Where were you born (city): Funny story; my family lived in a different area of Florida at the time but mom was supposed to see a specialist in Miami before I was born, but I ended up being premature because she had me on the way there in the car, in traffic. Even back then I guess I had decided I wanted to be in the city, heh. 6. Location right now (planet ): Astoria, Oregon 7. Shoe size: 9 8. How many piercings?: Septum, left eyebrow, tongue, 5 in right ear, 4 in the left 9. Tattoos?: Twelve total; full left hand (skeletal/bone. Lilly), four on the same arm, (stars, skulls, human heart,music notes), right hip socket (solid black star), left ribcage (German text), back of the neck (black star), collarbone (stars}, right forearm (black cross), left forearm (Dates -his siblings birthdays, his parents’ anniversary, the date of the outbreak}, 10. When you wake up you're: Dead to the world, not a morning person 11. When you're about to sleep you're: Paranoid as hell 12. Zodiac sign: Leo 13. Chinese sign: Rooster 14. Righty or Lefty: Right 15. Innie or Outie:The former 16. School: College dropout

Section Two: Looks

17. Nationality: German/Finnish 18. Hair colour: Very blonde 20. Weight: 130lbs 21. Height: 6'0 22. Braces? Nope 23. Glasses? No

Section Three: Private Life

24. Do you have a boy/girlfriend? No 25. If so, who? 26. If not, do you have a crush on someone? Not at this point 27. Who has a crush on you? Nobody? 28. Ever cheated on your bf/gf? No 29. Who was your first kiss: Right out of high school, some guy at a club. Not overly memorable. 30. Who was your last kiss: Marcus 31. Are you a virgin? HA. no. 32. Ever had a threesome before? No; one person is enough to deal with generally. 33. NQ- Every been swarmed by ladybugs?: ...no? Is this some sex-related thing I don't know about? ...now I sort of want to know. 34. Have you ever been in love? Yes, very much so. 35. Broken any hearts? Probably; doesn't everybody? But I never meant to. 36. Got your heart broken? Yeah, a few times. The big one though, he didn't mean to. 37. Ever liked a friend? Yeah? 38. What happened? We nearly got married until the world went to hell.

Section Four: Past Relationships

39. How many relationships have you been in? Dated a lot? Actual relationships; a handful or so. 40. How many were serious enough to count: Two or three really 41. Who were those serious ones: Nick, Angelo, and Marcus; in that order. 42. NQ- Who used to be your best friend: ...Marcus 43. What made them different: Everything. Just everything. 44. What happened: He died and came back, I wasn't there. I still don't know if I would have wanted to be or not. 45. Best boy/girlfriend: Marcus 46. Worst boy/girlfriend: Angie was a jerk, but he was a hot jerk. 47. Ever been kissed: Yeah? 48. Who do you want back: ....a lot of people. Relationship-wise? Marc. 49. Who do you regret: Oh, I could give you a laundry list but...whatever. 50. Why?: I'm good at bad decisions.

Section Five: Favourites

51. Song: I love classical music; it's relaxing. 52. Movie: Donnie Darko amuses me way too much. 53. Food: God I miss really good veggie burgers - but being vegan doesn't work when you're starving. 54. Drink: Dr.Pepper...or any soda really; I need the caffeine. 55. Store: uh? hell if I know 56. Television show: ...I used to really like Twilight Zone..now it seems ironic somehow. 57. Holiday: Halloween 58. Book: Most anything by Neil Gaiman 59. Ice cream: I don't really like it 60. Sweets: Oreos...I would do so much for some Oreos 61. Crisps: Never ate much of those 62. Type of music: Classical 63. Artist: Salvador Dali 64. Word: 'Hell', usually used muttered under my breath, yeah 65. Time of day: Midday 66. Dressing: Like...the stuff you put on a salad? I don't use those. 67. Alcoholic drink: Anything sugary 68. Colour(s): Bright colors, specifically purple and blue. 69. Piece of clothing: These days my boots 70. Character: ?? I don't even know 71. Smell: The ocean 72. Shampoo: Any time I have shampoo and can wash my hair I don't even care what it is. 73. Soap: See the above answer. 74. Smiley: >_> 75. Board game: Battleship 76. Sport: ...not a sports person. 77. Number: 0 78. Quote: "No great artist ever see things as they are" - Edgar Degas 79. Animal: Dogs 80. Actor: I had a really bad crush on Ewan Mcgregor when I was younger 82. Vegetable: Anything; I'm not picky. 83. Fruit: Pineapple 84. Place to be: Anywhere safe 85. Thing in your room: My notebook 86. Gum: Minty stuff, doesn't matter what kind; the fruit flavored stuff is gross. 87. Shape: ? uh...stars? I have a few of them tattoed on me so I guess it counts 88. Country: Here, I guess; I never got to see Germany or Finnland. 89. Mall: Back home in Miami there were a few, wasn't ever much for wandering around them. 90. Car: I miss my car; it's dead now. 91. Boy's name: I like mine? 92. Girl's name: My mom's name is nice; Cammilla 93. Family member: Seriously? Uh...I guess I got along the best with my younger brother. 94. Restaurant: Trying to think about it just makes me hungry 95. Movie place: Don't like theaters 96. Person to go to the movies with: Marc 97. Noise: Crickets; they're so calming, or people breathing when they sleep. 98. Brand of shoe: I don't think I have one. 99. Brand of clothing: Again, no preference. 100. Body part of a chicken: ...their creepy little eyes? 101. Swear word: Fuck 102. Month: August 103. Possession: My notebook 104. Team: Not a sports person 105. Season: Summer 106. Radio station: Right now any of them that work 107. Magazine: Used to read the trashy tabloid ones 108. Favorite grade: I liked my first year in college, it went downhill from there. 109. Least favorite grade: 9th, that was a mess. 110. Teacher: My high school art teacher 111. Least favorite teacher: ...10th grade geometry; Ms. Allen. Urgh. 112. Subject: Art 113. Subject to talk about: People

Section Six: Family

114. Who's your mum?: Cammilla Becket; otherwise known as the ruler of the family. 115. Who's your dad?: Felix Becket; walking encyclopedia of every old story known to man 116. Any step-parents?: No 117. Any brothers?: Yes; Jorge, Andrew, and Fillip 118. Any Sisters?: Annalee 120. Coolest: Me, of course. 121. Loudest: Easily Jorge 122. Best relative: My aunt Lydia; she's hilarious and bakes cookies. 123. Worse relative: ...uncle Gustoph; that man is terrifying 124. Do you get along with your parents? I confused them a lot, I wish...things had been better. 125. With your siblings? With Jorge and Anna, yeah, my older brothers were disappointed in me I think. 126. Does anyone understand you? I don't even understand me sometimes 127. Do you have any pets?: Not anymore 128. If so, what kind and name? I used to have a cat named Chester 129. If not, what do you want as a pet?: I'd like to have a dog again; makes things less lonely.

Section Seven: School

131. Are you still in school? No 132. Did you drop out?: Yeah, from college 133. Your current GPA: ...don't have one. 134. Do you buy or bring lunch?: None of these apply. 135. ABC's?: What? I know what those are. 136. Favorite class: Art theory or art history was fun too. 137. Play any sports at school?: Nope 138. Are you popular? I was, I guess, I had friends. 139. Favorite memory: From school? It's all a blur. 140. Most humiliating moment: Most of my high school days. So many of them. 141. Most funniest moment: ....falling down the steps freshman year; it's hilarious now, was mortifying then. 142. Most scared moment: Nearly getting myself murdered by a really unpleasant guy on the football team.

Section Eight: What do you think of when you hear

145. Chicken: ....nothing? 146. Dog: Warm and fluffy. 147. Christina Aguilera: Radios played her music way too much. 148. Ricky Martin: Ahem. Well he did look really good in leather pants. 149. 50 cent: My neighbors were obsessed with blaring this all night. 150. Poop: ...those emoji things 151. Beach: I miss it so much. 152. Desert: What the world is turning into 153. Water: Necessity 154. Osama: A name? 155. Love: ...lonely. 156. Your little brother: I hope he's still around. 157. Butt: I don't have any overwhelming opinions here. 158. Clowns: Mildly scary. 159. Wonder: Better than giving up. 16o. Brown: Mom's eyes. 161. Banana: Food, or those gross smoothies back home. 162. Sex: Fun, but absent from my life anymore. 163. Parents: Regrets I wish I could change now. 164. Homosexuals: The subtext to my sexuality. 165. God: Gave up on things around here I'm pretty sure.

Section Nine: Do you believe in

166. God: Maybe, but I don't think they're around much anymore. 167. Heaven: I hope it's real, some people I've lost deserve to be there. 168. Devil: I guess you have to have that one around for the other to be real. 169. Hell: ...I've seen a few places that could almost count as that. 170: Boogy man: Things that creep around in the dark and attack you? Sounds too much like Walkers. 171. Closet Monsters: Those at least stopped bothering me in grade school. 172. Fortune tellings: Maybe, but I don't want to know the future. 173. Magic: Sure, why not. 174. Love at first sight: I want to. 175. Ghosts: I feel haunted a lot so, yeah, I do. 176. Voo-doo dolls: Never gave that one much thought, I guess? 177. Reincarnation: In this world? I almost hope not. 178. Yourself: ...at times.

Section Ten: Do you

179. Smoke: Yeah. 180. Do drugs: No 181. Drink alcohol: Used to, not much anymore. 182. Cuss: Far too much. 183. Sing in the shower: Showers are too quick for that now. 184. Like school: I didn't mind parts of it. 185. Want to get married: ....I did at one point. 186. Type with all of your fingers: Yeah 187. Think you're attractive: I have my good points. 188. Drink and drive: Nah 189. Snore: Probably 190. Sleep walk: No 191. Like watching sunrises and sunsets: I used to; sunsets make me uneasy now.

Section Eleven: Have you ever

192. Flashed someone: Maybe when I was drunk. 193. Gotten so drunk til you threw up everywhere: Oh yeah. 194. Told that person how you felt: What person? -That- person? Yeah. 195. Been arrested: No, surprisingly. 196. Gone to jail or juve: Nope. 197. Skateboarded: Too clumsy. 198. Skinny dipped: Yes 199. Rock climbed: I don't have a deathwish. 200. Killed someone: God no; I've never even killed one of the already dead ones. 201. Watched porn: ...who hasn't? 202. Gone on a road trip: A few. 203. Went out of the country: No 204. Talked back to an adult: Ha..yeah. 205. Broken a law: Sure, not any big ones though. 206. Got pulled over: A couple of times. 208: Cried to get out of trouble: ...that was my main go-to as a kid. 209. Let a friend cry on your shoulder: Yeah, sometimes it's all I knew to do. 210. Kissed a brother's or sister's friend: No 211. Kissed a friend's brother or sister: No 212. Dropped something on the floor and let someone eat it anyways: I would say gross but..things change; these days that doesn't even matter. 213. Moon someone: Maybe? Again, if it happened I was drunk. 214. Shop-lifted: No 215. Worked at McDonald's: No 216. Eaten a dog: No, but that's not to say that I wouldn't if I had to. 217. Give money to a homeless person: Yeah. 218. Glued your hand to yourself: Surprisingly no. 219. Kissed someone of the same sex: ...yes, on many occasions. 220. Had a one night stand: A few 221. Smoked: Yes 222. Done drugs: Not really. 223. Lose a friend because of your ex: Yeah, but they weren't worth keeping 224. Slap someone for being stupid: No, but I maybe should have. 225. Had cyber sex: I could have actual sex, so no. 226. Wish you were the opposite sex: ...ah...difficult one, since I don't consider myself one or the other when it comes to gender, or just one or the other, rather. 227. Caught someone doing something: I have a younger brother, so of course, 228. Played a game that removes clothing: Yes, and generally lost. 229. Cried during a movie: A few; damn Disney movies 230. Cried over someone: So many people 231. Wanted to hook up with a friend: On occasion 232. Hooked up with someone you barely met: I can't say I haven't. 233. Ran away from home: Nah, not until I was an adult. 234. Cheated on a test: I should have in a few classes.

Section Twelve: Would you

235. Bungee jump: I don't think there are any planes left around. 236. Sky dive: Again, above answer. 237. Swim with dolphins: I've done that before. 238. Steal a friend's bf or gf: Not on purpose. 239. Try to be the opposite sex: ....I mean; I go back and forth and in the gray between all the time. 240. Lie to the police: Probably. 241. Run from the police: Maybe. 242. Lie to your parents: I had on occasion. 243. Backstab a friend for your own well being: No 244. Be an exotic dancer: ...sure, why not. But I would blind people with how pale I am so I wouldn't make much. 245. NQ- Kill the president: Pretty sure he's already dead.

Section Thirteen: Are you

246. Shy: Only when I'm anxious. 247. Loud: When I'm upset 248. Nice: I like to think so 249: Outgoing: For the most part 250: Quiet: When I want to be left alone. 251. Mean: Nah 252. Emotional: God yes. 253. Sensitive: Very. 254. Gay: Yesss 255. Strong: Physically? Not so much. 256. Weak: I don't like to admit it if I am. 257. Caring: I try to be 258. Dangerous: Only when my brain is being weird. 259. Crazy: ...potentially. 260. Spontaneous: Yes. 261. Funny: I'm hilarious. 262. Sweet: Maybe? 263. Sharing: Yeah. 264. Responsible: Not so much. 265. Trustworthy: Of course. 266. Open-minded: Very. 267. Creative: Yes! 268. Cute: Well..I think I am. 269. Slick: Not by any means. 270. Smart: As much as anybody. 271. Dumb: I don't think so. 272. Evil: No? 273. Ghetto: No 274. Classy: Not really. 275. Photogenic: Ha, I don't even know. 276. Dependable: I try to be. 277. Greedy: Nah 278. Ugly: No 279. Messy: Basically, yes. 280. Neat: Not so great at that. 281. Perverted: No? 282. Silly: I have my moments. 283. A B****: Ha, probably at times. 284. A Good Listener: I like to listen, so hopefully? 285. A Fighter: ....no 286. A Party Animal: Used to be 287. A Game Freak: Nah 288. A Computer Freak: Not really.

Section Fourteen: Future

289. Dream job: ...before the world ended I wanted to work in comic books. 290. Dream house: I liked where I was in Miami. 291. Husband/Wife: ....they're gone now. 292. Kids: Nah. 293. Names: what? I like my name. 294. Pets: I still want a dog 295. Car: At this point, anything that runs 296. Age you would want to get married: ...I thought I already would be. 297. Best Man/Bride's Maid: My brothers 298. Honeymoon: Europe

Section Fifteen: Your friends

this is too depressing; I'm just going to not. do this one. 299. Best friend: 300. Known the longest: 301. Craziest: 302. Loudest: 303. Shyest: 304. Best hair: 305. Best eyes: 306. Best body: 307. Most Athletic: 308. Hot-Tempered: 309. Most impatient: 310. Shortest: 311. Tallest: 312. Skinniest: 313. Best singer: 314. Funniest: 315. Can always make you laugh: 316. Wish you talked to more: 317. Wish you saw more: 318. Who drives you insane after a while: 319. Who you can stay around forever and never get sick of: 320. Ever lose a friend because you took it to the 'next level': 321. Whose always been there when you need them: 322. Who is like your family: 323. How many friends do you have?: 324. How many are really close?

Section Sixteen: The last

325. Thing you ate: Yesterday. 326. Thing you drank: A few hours ago, water. 327. Thing you wore: Clothes I'm wearing now? 328. Thing you did: Walked back to town. 329. Place you went: The edge of town, was restless. 330. Thing you got pierced or tattooed: My right arm 331. Person you saw: Some guy working on a car that's busted. 332. Person you hugged: ...it's been a while. 333. Person you kissed: Been even longer on that one. 334. NQ- Person you beat to a juicy pulp: Yeah, I'm not so good at that. 335. Person you talked to online: The net has been dead for a long time. 336. Person you talked to on the phone: So have phones. 337. Song you heard: Months ago, some old gas station had a busted CD player with batteries but it didn't last long; some old 80s music. 338. Show you saw: I don't even remember. 339. Time you fought with your parents: ....before the outbreak, last time I saw them. 340. Time you fought with a friend: ...probably right before I left River Bend. 341. Words you said: 'Hn'

Section Seventeen: Now

343. What are you eating: Nothing 344. What are you drinking: Nothing 345. What are you thinking: The usual bouncy, weird thoughts. 346. What are you wearing: Clothes? 347. What are you doing: Nothing really, sitting here? I get nervous sleeping at night so I stay up a lot. 349. Hair: Is a fluffy mess. 350. Mood: Tired 351. Listening to: The wind outside. 352. Talking to anyone: No 353. Watching anything: No

Section Eighteen: Yes or No

354. Are you a vegetarian: Yes 355. Are you a carnivore: No 356. Are you heterosexual: No 357. Do you like penguins: Yes 358. Do you write poetry: No 359. Do you see stupid people: Yes 360. You + Me: No 361. Do you like the Osbournes: Yes 362. Can you see flying pigs: No 363. Do you sleep with stuffed animals on your bed: No 364. Are you from Afghanistan: No 365. Is Christina Aguilera ugly: No 366. Are you a zombie: NO 367. Am I annoying you: No 368. Do you bite your nails: Yes 369. Can you cross your eyes: Yes 370. Do you make your bed in the morning: No 371. Have you touched someone's private part: Yes

Section Nineteen: This or That

372. Winter or Summer: Summer 373. Spring or Autumn: Spring 374. Shakira or Britney: Shakira 375. MTV or VH1: VH1 376. Black or White: ? Black I guess? 377. Yellow or Pink: Yellow. 378. Football or Basketball: uhh...basketball. 379. Mobile Phone or Pager: Phone 380. Pen or Pencil: Pencil 381. Cold or Hot: Hot 382. Tattoos or Piercings: oh..hard one. Tattoos. 383. Inside or Outside: Inside. 384. Weed or Alcohol: Weed 385. Coke or Pepsi: Coke 386. Tape or Glue: Tape 387. McDonald's or In-n-Out: Neither, gross.

Section Twenty: Opinions

388. What do you think about classical music: Ha. I really like it. 389. About boy bands: Some of them were amusing. 390. About suicide: ...this world is bad but giving up? I couldn't do it. 391. About people who try to force their opinions on you: They're exhausting, and far too many of them exist. 392. About teen pregnancy: I don't personally have to worry about that, heh. But it's not my business if it's not my body. 393. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years: Alive I hope. 394. Who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: I should probably make some friends. 395. About gay men: I mean, obviously, I like them.

Section Twenty-One:

396. Do you have a website: No 397. Current weather right now: Hot as hell 398. Current time: It's late. Dark. 399. Any shout outs: no? 400. Last thoughts: ...'last thoughts' sounds so ominous.

#ooc #character development #EERIE:TASK

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