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lifeofkaze · 3 years

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Chapter 19 - Change the Stars

HPHM Rockstar AU

A/N:

General Warning: This whole fic has a general warning of being NSFW / 18+. We will give specific warnings for every chapter in itself, but several adult themes will be more or less present in every chapter, may it be explicitly or in mention. These include sexual topics, drug abuse, (ab)use of alcohol, smoking and a whole lot of cursing.

Specific Warning: Allusions to Childhood Trauma

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Find the masterpost here, the previous chapter here and the next one here. The songs featured before every chapter can be found on this pretty badass playlist here.

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This work is a collaboration with @the-al-chemist

Taglist: @slytherindisaster @night-rhea @carewyncromwell @thatravenpuffwitch

Would you do it with me

Heal the scars and change the stars

Would you do it for me

Turn loose the heaven within

~ Nightwish - Ever Dream ~

As soon as all the children had left the building, a visible sigh of relief went through the people assembled on stage. All of them were glad that their first assignment of the day was done and they would be able to get some rest before returning for their second show in a few hours’ time.

Lizzie and Skye were chatting about the meet & greet when the sound of subdued voices drew their attention. Merula and Orion were standing close together at the exit of the stage; Merula was frowning, her whole body language defensive, while the signs of tension Lizzie had noticed on Orion previously were rapidly breaking through as he spoke. When Merula hissed something to him, Orion gave a frustrated sigh, turned on his heels and marched off stage.

Merula’s whole demeanour changed instantly; she seemed to be sorry for whatever she had said. But when she saw Lizzie and Skye looking, she straightened her shoulders and raised her chin, before walking away into the opposite direction.

“What a fun little trip down memory lane,” Everett said with a dry chuckle as he came to stand beside them. He rested his elbow on Lizzie’s shoulder but she shook it off again.

“Don’t be a dick, Ev,” she frowned, “you know it’s hard for them.”

“Whatever,” he shrugged, “it’s a show, just like anything else in this fucking business. They should be used to it by now. Ladies,” he tipped two of his fingers against his temple and left them standing.

Skye looked after him, shaking her head. “When exactly did Ev turn into such a dick?”

“Ask me something easier,” Lizzie muttered in return.

They didn’t speak much on their way back to the hotel, at least not to each other. Skye was rambling on about the new additions Celtic Glasgow had made to its roster, but Lizzie was only half listening.

The thought about Orion disappearing so abruptly wouldn’t leave her mind. These kinds of events stirred up memories in Merula and him, but usually, it was only Merula who openly showed signs of her distress; Lizzie had never before seen them getting into an argument afterwards.

“Jameson? Are you even listening?”

“Sorry, what?” Lizzie looked at her friend remorsefully; she had no idea what Skye had been talking about, let alone if they still were on the topic of football.

“I was saying we’re going to slay it this year in the Champions’ League. No comment on this from a misguided Reds fan?”

“In your dreams, Parkin. You’ll be lucky if you make it through the preliminary rounds,” Lizzie said half-heartedly. Usually, she would never pass on an argument about football, but today her mind was elsewhere.

“You know what, I’m more tired than I thought,” Lizzie said when they had arrived at their hotel, “I think I’ll catch some sleep before heading back.”

Skye made an indignant sound. “I thought we wanted to grab something to eat.”

“Sorry about that, but I really need to get some rest,” Lizzie said evasively, not meeting Skye’s eyes. “Maybe Ev is around somewhere, you could spend some time with him.”

Skye snorted. “As if. See you later, Jameson.”

Lizzie waited until Skye was out of sight before climbing the stairs to the floor where they had their rooms. But instead of entering her own room, she walked straight past it until she came to Orion’s door. Hesitating for a moment, she knocked tentatively against the dark, lacquered wood.

She waited a little before she knocked again, but no sound was coming from behind the door. Lizzie wondered for a moment if she had misjudged Orion and he wasn’t in there after all.

“Orion?” she called quietly. “Are you there?”

After a moment, she could hear movement from the inside of the hotel room. She stepped back when the door opened, revealing Orion standing in the doorframe. He looked at her questioningly.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” he said with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, “what can I do for you?”

“I wanted to see how you’re doing,” Lizzie said. His clothes were creased and his hair even more tousled than usual. “Have you been sleeping? Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Orion shook his head. “I tried to, but to no avail. My mind won’t let me rest.”

Lizzie hummed in response. “I thought so. You seemed upset before you left.” She offered him a warm smile. “Do you want some distraction?”

A flicker of irritation crossed Orion’s face before the thoughtful expression from before returned. “I appreciate both your concern and your offer, but I’m not in the mood, sorry.”

Realising how her words must have sounded, Lizzie felt the heat rising to her face. “That’s not… No. Sorry, that came across all wrong. I just want to know if you’re okay. You never are after shows like this.”

Orion inclined his head. “That is true. Memories are a fickle thing; they can lie dormant so long you almost forget them, but once stirred, there is no running from them anymore.” He sighed, the sadness on his face tugging at Lizzie’s heartstrings. “To answer your question: No, I am not okay.”

Lizzie felt the overwhelming need to wrap her arms around him, just to give him the comfort he so obviously needed. But she was still standing in the hallway, somebody could step out of their room at any time.

“Can I come in?” she asked instead.

Orion looked her up and down, a curious look in his eyes. “Events like the one today have always brought back the ghosts of my past. Usually, you let me be; this is the first time you have come to me. Why?”

Lizzie contemplated his question, but didn’t know the answer. Orion liked to come to terms with anything that was bothering him on his own, she knew that. She had never felt the need to check on him before.

Instead of answering his question, she shrugged, the smile on her lips more uncertain than before. “I can leave if you want me to.”

She was relieved when Orion immediately shook his head and stepped away from the door. “No, your company is always welcome. I was just curious.”

Lizzie walked past him into the room that was looking exactly like hers, maybe a little less messy. Orion had drawn the curtains and turned on the lights, shutting out the bright blue sky outside. The sheets of the bed were creased, speaking of his failed attempt to escape from his thoughts by means of sleep.

Several of the notebooks containing his sacred ideas lay strewn around the room; Lizzie picked one of them up. She was itching to have a look inside but knew Orion wouldn’t appreciate it; he often shared his unfinished works with her, but always in his own time. And sure enough, he gently but firmly took the notebook from her hands and placed it in a neat stack on the desk alongside the others.

“Have you been able to get any work done?” she wanted to know.

Orion sighed again; it sounded like it came from the bottom of his heart. “Unfortunately not. My thoughts are running wild. Every time I focus on one thing, they break away and return to places I do not want them to go.” He motioned to the book lying upside down on his bed. “I can’t even read one sentence without them wandering off. I’d usually let them roam freely, but not today.”

He sat down on the bed, his dark hair falling into his face as he dropped his eyes to the floor. “I’m not a pleasant company at this moment, I’m afraid, so I would understand if you want to spend your time with someone a little more uplifting.”

Lizzie was concerned at the level of distress Orion was displaying. She had known something was off with him but not that he was as affected so badly.

She kneeled down next to Orion on the bed, reaching out and gently touching his forearm. Orion tensed momentarily but his muscles relaxed once his eyes found hers. She gave him a reassuring smile.

“If you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

She let her hand drop when Orion shook his head. “I’m not sure I want to.”

“Do you want me to go?” she offered a second time. It was plain to see that Orion was bothered but Lizzie didn’t know how to comfort him. She hated this feeling of helplessness.

But Orion shook his head again. “I’d be glad if you stayed.”

Lizzie’s eyes grew soft. “That’s why I’m here.”

She reached out again and drew Orion into a hug. The ends of his dark hair tickled her neck as he buried his face against her shoulder. His arms wrapped around her as he held on to her tightly. Lizzie felt his chest rise and fall as he took deep and deliberate breaths, shaky at first, but calmer by the minute; the tension in his shoulders started lessening ever so slowly.

She loosened her arms around his shoulders after a while, but Orion made no move to do the same. If anything, he pulled her even closer.

“You can let go now,” she chuckled against his hair.

“I don’t want to.”

The vibration of his words against her collarbone made Lizzie laugh softly. She leaned her head against his, her fingers gently grazing the skin on his neck.

They sat like that for a while, not speaking a single word, until Lizzie felt the muscles in her shoulders starting to tense. She leaned back ever so carefully until her back made contact with the headboard of the bed. Orion adjusted his position alongside her, his head coming to rest in her lap. His lips curved into a smile which was now reaching his eyes again.

“Do you feel better now?”

He closed his eyes, enjoying the way her fingers were gently stroking his hair. “I do. You have gathered my thoughts from the past and firmly grounded them in this moment again.”

Lizzie smiled. “That’s good.” She didn’t stop brushing her fingers through his hair, however. Orion wasn’t the only one who was feeling considerably calmer than before.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Orion said suddenly, “I wouldn’t have expected it, but thank you.”

Frowning slightly, Lizzie tilted her head. “You said so before. Why is it so strange that I would want to know if you’re okay?”

Orion averted his eyes, looking at the ceiling instead. He was turning the pendant of his necklace between his fingers. “We never spend time together like this.”

A trace of hurt flickered across Lizzie’s face and she pulled her hand away. “You make this sound as if I don’t care for you except for a good shag,” she said a little more sharply than she had meant to. It stung that Orion seemed to be thinking that way. “We’re friends after all, I hope you haven’t forgotten that.”

He didn’t look at her, seemingly lost in thought. “I haven’t.”

He turned his head slightly. “I didn’t mean to upset you; of course we are friends. I meant that I usually keep to myself when my emotions run wild and until today, you’ve always left me alone. Why did you come today?” he repeated his question from earlier.

Lizzie hesitated. “You seemed different.”

Orion hummed in confirmation, his face darkening again. “Today was different.”

His voice sounded so defeated, Lizzie had never heard him speak like this before. She picked up stroking his hair again. “Why?”

This time, Orion didn’t deny her the explanation. “It was something Merula said after the show was over,” he said quietly. “Being confronted by the demons of our past always gets to her, much more so than it does to me. Our experiences are the same but also so different. She is angry with Ethan, she thinks he’s exploiting stories better left alone for the sake of publicity. Which I can’t really disagree with,” Orion added sadly. “To him it’s not about making those children happy but about pitching our sales.”

“But that’s something we’ve known all along,” Lizzie pointed out. “He’s never kept his attitude a secret.”

“True, but Merula thinks we’re giving these kids false perspectives. And I think she’s right.”

He closed his eyes as if the thought was paining him. “The determination in our hearts can take us places unimaginable. But even so, the universe has a plan for all of us. Not everyone can end up being a superhero, astronaut or rockstar,” he smiled wryly at the last one. “All those kids today were looking at me with this utmost trust that one days their dreams will come true. It breaks my heart knowing that they will have to face the truth eventually. Most of them won’t be as lucky as Merula and I were.”

Lizzie listened to his words, feeling her heart break a little at the pain in Orion’s voice. She could tell how much he was hurting for these children; her throat felt constricted at the thought of how Orion himself must have felt all those years ago.

“Maybe they won’t,” Lizzie said quietly, “but that’s a lesson we all had to learn eventually.” She caught his gaze and held it. “Something you like to tell us right before we go on stage is how everything that matters is the present. To not dwell on songs that are done and not about which one is coming next. Just to focus on what is now, that’s the only way to truly live the moment.”

Her hand went from his hair to his face, the backs of her fingers caressing his cheek. She felt the scratch of his beard against the back of her hand; even though she was familiar with how it bit into her skin, this moment shared between them felt incredibly intimate.

Maybe it was the way Orion was looking at her; his eyes caught hers as he listened, his complete focus bound on what she had to say.

“These kids today,” she continued, “they are living in the here and now, just like you always try to teach us. In their minds, they are living their dreams, even if it’s only for a little while. You are their proof that it's worth hanging onto them, and that is something so precious. Without dreams, there’s no reason to chase after what we truly want. No one can achieve anything great without a goal in mind. You’re right, not all of them will become what they dream of now, but you have shown them that with a bit of luck and dedication, it can happen. Anyone can find happiness, no matter who they are.

Orion let her words sink in. “You really think so?” he asked eventually, his voice so low it was barely a whisper.

A smile stole onto Lizzie’s face. “I’m sure of it.”

The corners of Orion’s mouth twitched into a slight smirk. “I wasn’t the only one they adored, though. I saw how they were looking at you.” His smirk widened into a grin. “You seemed to have gained a personal fan.”

Lizzie remembered the little girl and her burning enthusiasm all too well. “I did,” she laughed, “she told me she wants to become a drummer, just like me.”

“That’s a wonderful goal to have,” Orion said. “The world needs more people like you. Was that what you two talked about at the end?”

“No,” Lizzie chuckled, “she asked me about the dreamcatcher.”

Orion had closed his eyes again, enjoying the feel of Lizzie’s fingers entangled in his hair. She watched his face relaxing before she casually added “And she wanted to know if you’re my boyfriend.”

“Did she now?” he mumbled drowsily.

“I believe she is very in love with you. She told me she’s going to marry you once she’s older,” Lizzie giggled, “Just so you are prepared.”

“And what did you tell her?” Orion smirked.

“I said that you are a very lucky man,” she laughed, brushing a rogue strand of hair from his face.

Lizzie was glad to see that the sparkle in his eyes had returned when Orion looked at her; his gaze was as captivating again as it had always been.

“I guess I am.”

The unreadable expression on his face was gone before Lizzie could think on it any further. The trace of his smile was still playing around his lips as Orion let himself get carried away by her gentle touch.

After a few more minutes, his body relaxed completely and his head fell slightly to the side; he had finally fallen asleep.

Lizzie studied his face; her eyes wandered over his black hair messed up by her fingers, then down his forehead, lingering on his long lashes that almost seemed to touch his skin. She saw the shallow lines around his eyes, edged into his skin from the many moments he spent laughing with his friends. Her eyes followed the bridge of his nose and swept over the dark stubble on his cheeks before they came to rest on the curve of his lips. They were slightly parted, and for one second, she almost gave in to the urge to kiss him; just like that, one simple, innocent kiss.

Lizzie shook her head to clear her thoughts. What was she even thinking? That wasn’t how she did things; Orion wasn’t her boyfriend, and that was exactly how she wanted it to stay. She had no place stealing a kiss from him while he was asleep.

Trying her best not to move too much lest he might wake up again, she reached over to Orion’s book. Perhaps some reading would distract her from her unruly thoughts; with his head still resting on her lap, it wasn’t like she could do much else anyway.

She placed the feather Orion was using as a bookmark between the pages and flicked through the book until she found her own bookmark. She had started reading it some time ago, when she had waited for him to be done showering; by the time he had been done, she had already been thoroughly invested in the story.

Before she picked up where she had left off, she glanced down at Orion’s peaceful face. She felt a touch of sadness as she thought back on their conversation.

How could Orion genuinely not know what he meant to the people around him?

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #harry potter hogwarts mystery #rockstar au #orion amari #lizzie jameson #when stars ignite #wsi #besties collaborate

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let-me-write-shit · 4 years

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Like We Used To: 5

A/N: I loved writing this chapter! Let me know what you think! Remember, this story is being written if there is demand for it, so feel free to message me! I’ve loved hearing some of your theories and wishes for the characters as the story develops. It definitely helps give me some inspiration! Enjoy!

[ONE] [TWO] [THREE] [FOUR]

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CHAPTER FIVE

Because they had such an early dinner, it was only 6 PM by the time everyone had finished eating, cleaning up their dishes, and taken showers. Kate and Elizabeth chatted in Elizabeth’s room for a bit before they decided to go downstairs. When they entered the parlor room most of their friends were already there. Harry, Matt, and Jimmy stood near the fire, talking with beers in hand, while Daisy and Celeste sat on opposite couches, shuffling the ‘Spill It’ cards. Elizabeth and Kate each took the empty armchairs when Lewis and Edward cautiously walked in carrying four large glasses each, all filled with alcohol.

“Eight drinks? But there’s nine of us playing,” Celeste noticed, grabbing the boys’ attention.

They all took a seat except for Jimmy who shook his head and slowly started making his way out of the room, “No, I’m not playing. Every time we play this game either a fight breaks out from that one damn card, or there’s some weird sexual tension. And since my girlfriend isn’t here to help me with either of those scenarios, if you know what I mean,” he wiggled his eyebrows indicatively, “I’m just gonna watch a movie with Heather and Owen.”

A few people called after him, wanting him to stay, but he was gone from sight. He definitely wasn’t wrong. There were over one hundred cards in the deck that had been added in over the years, so it wasn’t often that they played the whole deck. There were a lot of cards in there that got pretty crude. Most of them were just silly, but there was one card in particular that everyone hated to get. It wasn’t even that crazy of a dare card, but it somehow always managed to bring on absolutely insane fights when played. They always talked about just getting rid of that card, but never got around to it.

Everyone did their best to explain the game to Harry. There was a shuffled deck of cards with five categories throughout. In a clockwise rotation, starting with the youngest person, one player at a time picks up the top card. Depending on the category, either the player will answer the question or the entire group will. The amount of sips of alcohol each player has to take is on the card. The person who drinks the least wins. Harry got the gist and would figure it out as they went along.

Since Daisy was the youngest, she would start first and would continue to Matt, then Elizabeth, Kate, Lewis, Celeste, Edward, and Harry last before it was Daisy’s turn again.

“Hold on! Before we start,” Edward interjected, “Just to be clear: The bet we had earlier is not being paused while we play this game. Any hookups during this counts.”

Everyone mumbled in agreement. Elizabeth caught Harry’s eyes, wiggling her eyebrows as if to say ‘let the fun begin’, which made Harry blow air out of his nose in a muffled laugh and smile broadly.

Daisy reached for the first card and said, “Oh we’re starting off with a boring one. The category is WHOEVER,” she informed and said, “Whoever had the longest relationship takes one sip.”

Everyone’s eyes shot to Kate and Lewis, grinning, who both laughed and took a sip from their drinks.

Matt was next. He picked a card and said, “NEVER HAVE I EVER. - So everyone participates in this,” he informed Harry and read aloud, “Never have I ever had sexual desires that I would not discuss with my partner. Take one sip.”

Laughter ensued when they all looked around the room. Everyone except Matt, Lewis, and Daisy had taken a sip. Lewis looked at his bride in disbelief, “What? You have?...We’ll discuss later,” he flirted, making Kate giggle.

Daisy interjected, “If it’s a threesome I’ll join!”

“Of course you will,” Celeste teased.

Elizabeth giggled and read her card, “TRUTH - When did you have your first kiss? Describe it and take one sip. If the person you had your first kiss with is playing, take two sips and SPILL.”

Kate, Matt, Harry, and Celeste burst into tears, crying, “I remember this!”

Elizabeth took one sip and tried to explain to her college friends as the rest of them tried not to lose it, “Okay, well firstly he’s not here, unfortunately. His name was Tom. He was a very sweet boy. I was fourteen and we were at a party that Jimmy threw when his parents weren’t home. It was my first game of spin the bottle and we’ll just say that it was a very….memorable kiss.”

“Yeah because he shoved his tongue halfway down your throat! You choked on it!” Kate roared with laughter, “You almost died!”

Harry flicked a tear that was rolling down his cheek as he managed to get out, “I have never seen so much spit in my entire life! The amount of spit on that red shirt you wore looked like you had poured your drink all down the front!” which just made everyone laugh more.

Once everyone calmed down they continued playing. Kate’s card was ‘MOST LIKELY TO - Choose chicken nuggets over sex’. They all agreed on Edward to drink. Lewis also pulled a MOST LIKELY TO card, reading ‘have an affair with a married man/woman’, which Daisy drank to. Celeste was dared to venmo her EX $1.00 for “being a fucking loser” which everyone found quite entertaining as she went on a rant about how it was very fitting because he happened to be a fucking loser, and she had to take two sips. Edward’s card was a dare to whisper the naughtiest things he could think of into the player to his right’s ear for thirty seconds, which happened to be Harry. He had to take one sip, but if he managed to make Harry blush, Harry had to take a sip as well.

Harry’s facial expressions changed wildly throughout the thirty seconds as Edward whispered between cackles. Sure enough, a bright shade of red flushed Harry’s cheeks.

“Bloody hell, Edward,” Harry laughed, fanning himself, “Take me on a date first, will ya?” Harry took a sip of his drink and reached for a card while everyone laughed. He cleared his throat, “Alright, let’s see. My card says, TRUTH - Have you ever had a crush on someone in this room? If so, take one sip for every person mentioned. Spill it.” Harry put his card down and looked vaguely around the room at everyone before staring at Lewis and holding eye contact.

“Go on, man,” Lewis smirked, knowingly, as everyone looked between both Lewis and Harry, unsure of what was going on.

“Shit,” Harry smiled nervously, shaking his head and taking one sip of his drink, half the room taken aback.

“Who?” Celeste demanded, eager eyes staring at him and darting around the room.

Elizabeth’s heart started to thump in her chest. Before this moment, she never would have guessed it was coming, but for some reason she knew. Maybe Kate’s years of nagging her about Harry had finally sunk in. It was rare that her best friend was wrong, after all. Elizabeth’s eyes practically bore holes into Harry’s face, trying to see if she could manage to grab his attention before he spoke. But he never looked up at her. He kept his gaze low, avoiding eye contact with everyone.

“Alright, alright,” he still had his nervous smile, “I might have had a tiny crush on Lizzy back in the day.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened slightly, thinking ‘dammit, Kate was right the whole time’, when Lewis scoffed, “You talked about her every day, bro!”

To which Kate gasped and smacked her husband, “You never told me that! Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“Bro code, babe,” Lewis whispered back.

“Okay, so….a big crush,” Harry admitted, cheeks getting more red and still holding his uncomfortable smile as everyone started to look in between him and Elizabeth. “It’s fine! We’re all adults now! Let’s carry on with the game.” He finished, sitting back in his chair.

Elizabeth looked over at Kate who shot her a quick ‘I told you so’ face, before turning her attention back to Harry, waiting for him to look up at her. Okay, so he used to like her. No big deal. Harry was right, they’re adults now. A lot of time has passed. There’s no reason to fuss over it now. Although, the realization that Harry had a crush on her in school somehow made her feel more comforted. She always wondered why the relationship they had when they were teenagers was so strong. They had such a wild connection back then. Now it made sense; it was because they both had a crush on each other.

Harry finally caught her eye and he stared at her, waiting for some kind of facial response. Elizabeth’s expression softened, and to lighten the tension between them she shook her head, imitating disbelief, and mouthed ‘unbelievable’. Harry relaxed, smirking at her and shrugging his shoulders.

Daisy’s next card was a dare to kiss everyone in the room and to take two sips of her drink. Matt and Edward started cackling, realizing that this meant she would basically lose the bet. Although she seemed annoyed at first, it didn’t take long for a smile to be plastered on her face as she went around the room and planted kisses on everyone’s lips, lingering on Harry a little longer than she had with anyone else, to the point where Kate had to cough to get her to back off. She sat back down, looking pleased with herself. Elizabeth felt a slight pang of annoyance until she felt Kate’s reassuring hand on hers.

It was Matt’s turn. “MOST LIKELY TO - Accidentally kill someone. Well, that’s me, innit?” He chuckled to himself, taking a sip.

Elizabeth took her turn next and read, “TRUTH - What’s the worst lie you ever told your parents? One sip.” After a minute of thought she took a sip and said, “Probably when I told them I was sleeping over Kate’s house when Kate, Lewis, Harry and I stole Mrs. Hamilton’s car to go to the beach.” The other three sat up, remembering what happened as she continued, starting to giggle at the memory, “We were hours away from home when it broke down on the side of the road and only 30 minutes from the beach, so instead of calling one of our parents or roadside assistance, we used the rest of the money we had to take a bus to the beach and then hitch-hiked home all before any of our parents noticed. We told our parents that we didn’t know what happened to Lewis’ mom’s car and that it must have just been stolen.”

“Holy shit!” Lewis snickered, “My mom was pissed. I’m pretty sure she knew we stole it when they found it the next day on the side of the road filled with crisps and candy. That whole experience was easily the most terrified I have been in my entire life.”

“Yeah, do you remember the man that gave us a lift home? He was scary,” Harry shuttered at the thought.

Kate read her card. “It’s a Never Have I Ever, so we’ll go around the room,” she informed, “NEVER HAVE I EVER - Had sexual fantasies about anyone in the room. Spill and take one sip for every person you mention.”

Eager muttering ensued and just as Kate was about to speak, Daisy voiced, “Ok, can us ladies just agree that we’ve all had at least one sexual fantasy about Harry at one point or another? I mean, come on!” she gestured towards him, making him blush behind a smile again.

Kate rolled her eyes and shrugged, admitting, “Okay, yeah. Harry, I guess. And obviously Lewis,” and she took two sips.

Lewis feigned surprise and shook a joking finger at Harry, “Listen, man. She’s a married woman now!” Which made Harry throw his hands up, jokingly defeated. Lewis laughed in response and said, “Honestly the only person I’ve ever fantasized about in this room is my wife,” he took one sip of his drink, earning a kiss from Kate.

Celeste took two sips and rolled her eyes, “Harry and Edward.”

Edward winked at her before thinking and taking three sips, “Celeste, Daisy, and Elizabeth.”

Harry took one sip and said, “Lizzy.” When he saw Elizabeth’s slightly stunned expression he shot back, teasingly, “Don’t act so surprised! I just admitted that I used to like you! I was a horny teenager!”

Everyone laughed as Elizabeth pursed her lips and nodded, “True.”

“I’ve fantasized about everyone here,” Daisy confessed, taking seven sips from her drink.

“Let me think…” Matt said, tapping his chin, “Daisy and, well, obviously Elizabeth. Especially after that kiss,” he added and winked tauntingly at her, taking two sips.

Elizabeth snorted, “That’s funny, because I fantasized about you until we had that kiss.”

“What? What was wrong with my kiss?” Edward snapped in her direction.

Elizabeth laughed and continued, “Yeah, Matt and Harry,” she said matter-of-factly before taking two sips of her drinks. When she saw the look of shock on Harry’s face she mocked him and said, “Don’t act surprised! I was a horny teenager.”

While Lewis, Celeste, and Edward took their turn, Harry and Elizabeth kept stealing glances at each other. Harry mimicked her, mouthing ‘unbelievable’ while shaking his head and winking at her.

It was finally Harry’s turn again. He picked up the card and read in his deep voice, “DARE - Let the player to your left pick one person to quarantine with for the remainder of the night with no other human contact. During this time you must each divulge a secret that you’ve been hiding from the other person. You must start now. If you make it, you win the game! Spend your time wisely. Three sips each.”

Everyone gasped as he read the card. Groans among the group sounded, “I can’t believe he picked that card on his first time playing this game!” and “I thought that card was gone for good. I haven’t seen it picked in forever!”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows in confusion while everyone turned their attention to Edward, who was in charge of picking someone to go with him, shouting out suggestions on who to choose.

“Dude, pick Lizzy!” Lewis shouted.

“He can’t pick Lizzy, that’s a cursed card! What if they have a huge fight or something?” cried Kate

Matt scoffed, “It’s a card! The only reason it always ended badly was because the person who drew the card was always a piece of shit. Besides, so what if the card is cursed and they fight? They’ve gone nearly ten years without speaking already, what difference does it make now? I think it’d be more entertaining if it were Daisy to go with him.”

Kate shot him dagger eyes as Daisy piped up, “I’ll take one for the team!” winking at Harry.

Elizabeth was stunned by what Matt said and she immediately turned her head towards Harry to see the look of disappointment on his face before being replaced with a forced smile at Daisy. Elizabeth definitely didn’t want Harry to be trapped in a room with Daisy all night; she knew what would go down if they did. She was suddenly aware that she was feeling jealous at the idea of Harry with someone else, and that scared her. Elizabeth did not want to crush on Harry Styles again; it turned out poorly the last time she did. Still, she thought that what Matt had said was quite harsh. She and Harry had just started getting close again, and Matt knew how Elizabeth felt the last time that ended. Why would he want Elizabeth to lose her friend again?

“Can’t he just pick another card?” Elizabeth asked before being shot down by Edward.

Celeste spoke, “Okay, but I think I should also mention that if you do pick Lizzy, her and Harry are forced to stay in a room together for hours, meaning there’s a good chance that they both would lose the bet.”

“Mhmm...Good point,” Edward nodded, sitting up straight.

“Um, excuse me? Nowhere on that card does it say we have to kiss!” Elizabeth pointed out.

“Sorry, Elizabeth,” Edward said, “It’s a risk I’m willing to take. I choose you!”

Lewis reminded them of what the card meant, “To be clear, your time ends at midnight. You have to stay together at all times; that means the bathroom, too. You must have no contact with another person. No phones, either. One good secret needs to be shared by the two of you. If you fail to finish your isolation, or we find out that you don’t share a secret, then you both lose the game and owe the group a months-worth of drinks, which I will remind you that we drink a lot! May the odds be ever in your favor,” He finished, giving them a joking salute while everyone else held up their drinks.

“Is it really still until midnight?” Elizabeth asked, “We usually play this game so much later in the evening. The card is only meant to be for two hours tops. Harry and I will be more than double that.” Elizabeth was waved off with shouts of, ‘it’s the rule!’

Harry grinned over at Elizabeth, raising his eyebrows, shrugging his shoulders, and standing up with a hand outstretched for her, “Alright, shall we?”

Elizabeth let out an exasperated sigh, amused by everyone’s reactions, and slightly relieved that she was picked over Daisy. Taking Harry’s hand, she stood up. “Alright. It’s you and me for the rest of the night, but let’s go outside for now, so no one can listen in.”

“Kinky,” Celeste snickered, “But just remember when you come back inside you have to go straight to a room. We can’t see you.”

Harry placed a guiding hand on the small of Elizabeth’s back, leading her out of the room and towards the patio.

“Don’t forget to use protection!” Edward called after them.

Harry looked down at her and laughed as she yelled back, “Shut the fuck up!”

Four hours alone with Harry? And they each had to share a secret with each other? Elizabeth didn’t even know if she had a secret that she’d been keeping from Harry. At first Elizabeth was excited at the idea of spending four hours alone with Harry. But, honestly, the further down the lawn they went the more nervous Elizabeth got. That card did have a dark history. She couldn’t think of a single friendship that went unscathed by the end of it. Half of the people that pulled that card broke before the time was up and gave each other the silent treatment for days or weeks at a time. The other half stopped talking for good. Even if what Matt said was true, there’s a lot of bad things associated with this card now. Is it possible that the card really was cursed?

KEEP READING

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letterboxd · 5 years

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Emma Tammi Q&A.

“To be able to really see her for who she really is when she’s by herself is such a powerful thing since it turns out that she’s a real badass.”

Caitlin Gerard as Lizzy Macklin in Emma Tammi’s ‘The Wind’.

Of the many possible source materials for a feature film, never overlook the short. Jim Cummings’ Thunder Road, Gillian Robespierre’s Obvious Child, Damien Chazelle’s Whiplash, Andrés Muschietti’s Mama, and Sean Ellis’s Cashback all began life as short films. And more: the Saw films. District 9. Dee Rees’ Pariah. Jennifer Kent’s Monster (which she expanded into The Babadook).

After a start in documentaries, director Emma Tammi makes her feature debut with The Wind, a lengthened version of a short film called The Winter, adapted by its writer Teresa Sutherland. The supernatural Western horror revolves around Lizzy Macklin (Caitlin Gerard, Insidious: The Last Key, The Social Network), a woman left alone in a lob cabin on the plains, who is fighting to not lose her mind.

Letterboxd contributor Jack Moulton chatted with Tammi about her narrative debut, the cultural references infused in this haunting feminist chiller, and Westerns in the #MeToo era.

Letterboxd: Let’s start with your take on the origins of this project and how you were brought on board to direct The Wind? Emma Tammi: The screenwriter Teresa Sutherland was a film student at Florida State University and she made a short film called The Winter, which was loosely based on the same themes as The Wind. Our producer Christopher Alender, who is also alumni of FSU, saw the short and encouraged her to expand it into a feature. So Teresa had written this script prior to me coming on board.

Chris and I worked together on another documentary project and he thought I might be a good fit to direct, so I read the script and I loved it. I then met Teresa and I think we shared the same visions for what the film could ultimately be. We did a couple of polished passes together and then we were shooting later that year. It all came together organically based on prior relationships and all of us believing in the story.

What did you connect to the most about the script? I loved that it was a Western and that it was focusing on a female character, which was not something that I felt like we’d seen much before. I also loved that Teresa was inspired by these actual accounts of women who were homesteading at that time, since I was fascinated with the American West as a teenager and had actually picked up some of the books that she used as original research.

I thought it was fun how Teresa was starting with something rooted in reality and taking it to a horror and supernatural place. But the thing that really I think hooked me after I read it was that I thought the protagonist Lizzy was so well developed, and I thought all the character arcs were really strong. I felt that the horror was coming from the dramatic strengths of the characters’ relationships and their own personal struggles. It felt like really strong ground.

‘The Wind’ director Emma Tammi.

You had more of a background in documentary filmmaking before this—what compelled you to make a start in fictional narratives? Do you feel being an ‘outsider’ to the genre aided your vision of the film? That’s an interesting question. I had been working in documentary films for many years and I feel that was great preparation for making a narrative film despite the differences. Both my parents were actors so I had grown up around theater and fiction filmmakers my whole life. So I think that it felt like something I had always wanted to eventually get to.

I’m so fascinated with our world that I think documentary is such an interesting lens to explore things that are happening. But to then be able to step into a fictional realm I think you can explore the human experience to an even greater extreme. Once we started shooting, the process of working with the actors was even more enriching and incredible than I ever could have anticipated.

What were your film influences for The Wind—especially the specific horrors and Westerns that inspired the look and the feel? I think that one of the things that [director of photography] Lyn Moncrief and I really wanted to do was pay homage to some of the frames from Westerns that have become such big cultural references in our lives. But we wanted to find ways that we could have a fresh take with that [and] subvert it to give a new perspective to the landscape, since we were telling this from a female unreliable narrator and I think that both of those things in Westerns are pretty hard to come by. So, in that sense, I liked how we basically turned the camera 90 degrees and held on the women as the men rode off to town. I was really inspired by The Searchers (1956), for example.

In terms of the horror I feel that there is a comparison to The Shining (1980) in the sense of how it’s a slow burn where the environment is coming in on our lead character. Pacing-wise, in building up the tension, I was really inspired by that. I thought Carrie (1976) was also a really interesting reference in terms of the horror. The first horror scene is simply Sissy Spacek getting her period in a girls locker room and it’s completely terrifying.

I thought so many of the things that women experience in this time were horrific and yet they were just coming out of the mundane day-to-day life events of trying to live and sustain in such an inhospitable land at that time. I love that The Wind was taking the horror cues from the everyday things that we all experience.

Caitlin Gerard’s performance is truly terrific. She anchors the film brilliantly as it jumps from its time periods. What drew you to her in the casting process and did she bring anything new to what had already been set in the script? During auditions I kept asking for more people because I really didn’t feel like we found our Lizzy yet. Caitlin was one of the last ones and was so balls-to-walls, showing such range in three different scenes. We just wouldn’t be able to fully enter this world without hanging our hat on a lead actress who didn’t have that level of grit. So that was incredible.

One of the most important things that she brought to the table was the fact that she had a German background, which we didn’t consider before in terms of Lizzy. I had initially been talking to Teresa about Lizzy’s background, thinking that it would make sense for her to be an immigrant, which was very common of that period. To implement that in the script would really add to the isolation that she might be feeling on the land, in this country, and also between her and Isaac [her husband, played by Ashley Zukerman].

We wrote that into the script days before shooting and then were continuing to work on it throughout the shoot. I thought that was such a nice brush stroke and dimension that Caitlin was able to add because she speaks German and it was fabulous.

What motivated the nonlinear structure of the film? Did you have to adjust anything in the edit to make a particular section work better from how it was laid out in the script? Teresa had already tapped into establishing the nonlinear structure of the film beforehand in a way that would reflect the mental fractured-ness of Lizzy’s headspace. I think it really helps us feel the unreliable narrator so strongly. But we did have to juggle some of the order in post so the edit is different from the order of the script, but I think we were able to find the essence of the script at the end of the day. Those were decisions based on logistics like the performances and the coverage, or the sound and special effects. You just need to recalibrate to keep the pacing in the edit.

Were there any notable challenges on set, such as dealing with the period setting or shooting in such a remote location? We really lucked out in the sense that we got a really strong and dedicated team. I think that everyone was so committed and so talented that we were pretty flexible when challenges would come up. The remoteness really added to the production because we were all able to immerse ourselves in that time period and in that world and not be as connected to the outside and technology.

I’m sure our producers would have a different story to tell because not being able to access your email onset is a nightmare. Basically none of our cellphones worked in these locations. Despite the problems, there were great benefits in shooting in the middle of nowhere.

Through the film, you use the realities of settler life for horror and tension, such as the wild animals, the lack of medical care and, obviously, the weather. How did you negotiate the balance between the realities and the supernatural, especially since you often leave questions unanswered with the latter? We really wanted to start in a way that let you experience the environment as it was, and then start to get in a place where you experience the environment through Lizzy’s point of view, letting it really rev up into something that was ultimately quite terrorizing. I think we were trying to push the natural elements into a more hyper-realized place so it was close to a supernatural place. It’s like playing a piece of music where it flows from the peaks and the valleys.

Can you describe the decision-making process around how you kept the ‘monster’ hidden as much as possible? It’s very effective, but also lends itself to questions on the specifics. How the haunting element would be both seen and heard was something we were talking about even in the script rewriting stages, and I think we wanted to really lean into all of this being an extension of the torment that Lizzy was feeling internally. So questioning whether or not there was actually a “boogeyman” out there was more interesting and more true to the character than actually seeing the “boogeyman”.

But the other element of it was that since this was set in the late 1800s I think we really wanted to show and hear hints of it that were coming from the natural world, so “the wind” and how that transformed was really the scary element of the sound design. In terms of the visuals, we were leaning into shadows and elements of fire and dust and things that were of that environment. I wanted to do something that felt practical even when it wasn’t.

I’d like to ask you how you feel the film operates as a period piece to reflect current times. I felt that the way Lizzy is constantly wielding her shotgun is an empowering and feminist subversion of the masculine individualist gunslinger from classic Westerns. Were you consciously revising frontier myth in that cinematic sense? I think we were consciously doing that but I don’t think it was the overt intention of the script, which is what I really liked about it. I felt that all of those things were coming out so naturally and they weren’t forced. What’s so interesting with Lizzy is that we spend so much time with her while she’s by herself, but she’s constantly trying to put on a brave face for her husband, or for her neighbors, and for the outside world, which I think we can all relate to.

And then to be able to see her for who she really is when she’s by herself is such a powerful thing since it turns out that she’s a real badass. She’s wielding the gun, she’s doing all that stuff that she needs to do out of necessity, but it’s also without any pretense and without having to be a certain thing to any certain person because she’s ultimately there being herself and trying to survive.

I feel it resonates in the #MeToo era in the way she’s threatened by powerful forces and then the man in her life doesn’t believe her. Yeah, I think it does and I love that about it. If we’d made it five years ago it still would have resonated. It’s also a very human experience that she’s going through and our current times are shedding light on it in different ways and that’s so cool. I think the horror genre is able to put a mirror up to ourselves in such a powerful way.

‘The Wind’ opens in US cinemas on limited release 5 April 2019.

#emma tammi #the wind #Female directors #directed by women #metoo #interview #letterboxd #director

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purplesurveys · 5 years

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448

What is in the back seat of your car right now? Nothing, because all the mess is otherwise shoved in the trunk lol. What was the last thing you threw up? Alcohol and falafel.

Menthol or regular cigarettes? Nope. What is your favorite episode of Friends? Oh nooooo I have so many favorites. I have the apartment bet quiz/Phoebe’s uterus episode, the one where they make all the New Year’s resolutions, and the one where Phoebe breaks Chandler trying to get him to admit his relationship with Monica. Does anyone have any blackmail on you? It’s possible.

If you could marry any celebrity today who would it be? Kristen Stewart. Have you been to a strip club? Never been. I probably should stop by one in the near future just to say I’ve entered one. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Yes, my phone case. Are you wearing socks right now? No, I don’t wear socks around the house since it’s just gonna get dirty being exposed to the floor. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water. What are you wearing right now? I’m wearing a crop top and house shorts. Last food you ate? Bacon with fried rice. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? Nah. The last time was a month ago. What’s the last sporting event you watched? I watched a UP vs Ateneo volleyball game, but it was like 2 months ago. Last person’s house you were in? Haven’t been to anyone’s house other than mine in a while. It would probably be at Gabie’s when I made the impromptu decision to sleep over there since I was too drunk and exhausted to drive home. Last movie you saw? I just watched Revolutionary Road earlier tonight and it crushed me as much as it did the first time. One of the realer movies I’ve seen. Who is the last person you sent a message to on Facebook? It was for a group chat for an org matter. We were deliberating on something, and I messaged my two cents over there. Ever go to camp? Nope. Were you an honor roll student in school? We didn’t have honor rolls in my old school because they didn’t want to breed competition to the point that it became unhealthy. I super agree with it and I’m thankful they didn’t have a system like it; my grades ended up much better that way. If we wanted to know our ranking in the batch, we had to go to the guidance office because that’s where they kept our standings. Do you like sushi? Ugh YES I will eat any type of sushi, any time, any day. Do you have a tan? I’m already naturally tan. How old do you want to be when you have kids? I don’t know; I’m not in a rush. Anywhere between 27 and 35 is fine. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw? I don’t drink soda but I’ve seen people do this. What is your age? 21. Are you someone’s best friend? [continued from last night] I’d like to think so. What are your siblings’ middle names? Beatrice and Edgardo. Where is your dad right now? My dad is in a cruise ship where he works, somewhere in the middle of the Southeast Asian seas/oceans. What was the last thing you said? Something along the lines of “I didn’t ask him to buy me food anymore because I was shy.” What color is your watch? I don't have one. What do you think of when you think of Australia? The Sydney Opera House. Ever ridden on a roller coaster? I’ve been on what was meant to be a beginner’s roller coaster, but it was still too wild for me and I had a headache for the rest of the day. Favorite gemstone? My own, diamond. I can’t really...~relate with the rest since I’ve always identified with diamond. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Drive-thru. Fast food places are nasty. Do you have a roommate? I live with my family. Do you have any bad habits? Sure. What is your favorite number? 4 and 23. Do you know anyone named Lori? Other than Rick Grimes’ dead wife on The Walking Dead, nope. What color is your mom’s hair? Black. Do you have a dog? Yup. What happened to you in 1993? Probably living my past life in some other alternate universe. Does your first memory involve your dad? No. My first memory was ‘camping’ indoors. My mom got us a Winnie the Pooh tent and all we did to spice it up was sleep on the floor of our bedroom. Do you remember singing any songs as kids? Yes. My favorites were I Am But A Small Voice (since we had to sing it in a kindergarten recitation) and This is What Dreams Are Made Of from The Lizzie McGuire movie. When was the last time you went swimming? Last March, when we went to the beach. Has your luggage ever gotten lost? Nope. Biggest annoyance in your life right this minute? My milk tea craving wasn’t satisfied today -_____- Have you ever thought it would be cool to smash a guitar? No, I always just saw it as a waste of money. Do you like watching a bonfire? Sure. Are you allergic to anything? No. My skin can get sensitive to the air though, especially if the atmosphere is humid and dew-y. What is one thing you miss about your past? Being happier. Do you ever get flu shots? I don’t. Favorite shoes that you wear all the time? Either my Onitsuka Tiger or Puma sneakers. What is one thing you’ve learned about life recently? An hour ago my uncle taught me how to properly position my wheels should I ever park somewhere downhill. Are you jealous of anyone? Anyone who’s already successfully settled in - a house to live in, stable job, kids - and is already past the whole young adult angst and building their future up from scratch parts. Is anyone jealous of you? I dunno.

#survey #surveys

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elizabethecholls-blog · 6 years

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Memento Mori || au

BINGO SPOT → Horror, Action IN COLLABERATION WITH → Ella, Miki, Britt, Brookelynn, Alison WORD COUNT → 9,438 MENTIONS → Veronique Dumont, Emily Echolls, Elisha Echolls (NPC), Braydon Stewart, Iva Zotrova, Julian Lowell, Lana Fitzgerald, Ian Wilde, Natasha Ryley SUMMARY → When eight friends are trapped on a remote mountain retreat and things quickly turn sinister, they start to suspect they aren’t alone. Gripped by fear and with tensions in the group running high, they’re forced to make snap decisions that could mean life or death for everyone involved. Every choice they make in their terrifying search for answers – even the seemingly trivial ones – will decide who stays alive until dawn. TRIGGER WARNINGS → Violence, Death, Gore

CHAPTER ONE-- TEN HOURS UNTIL DAWN

Coming back to Blackwood Mountain was a mistake. The Echolls’ Lodge, nestled deep within the Canadian wilderness and perched at the very top of Blackwood Mountain --miles and miles away from the tiny, shit town at the bottom of the summit-- had always been the winter-time destination for Elizabeth and her friends, but...after what happened last year…

The white, powdery snow fell in buckets, but the ten occupants of the Echolls’ vacation lodge paid no attention to the chill outside the giant, wooden structure. Instead, the bustle of things inside kept their mind off the slight chill that slipped through the cracks despite the roaring fire in the enormous, open living room. Emily Echolls and Julian Lowell sat at the bar in the kitchen, surrounded by empty bottles, their heads dropped to the counter as they snored through their drunken slumbers. Natasha Ryley, Ian Wilde, and Lana Fitzgerald tiptoed around upstairs, ready to put their prank into play. It was sloppily put together --just a little bit of a jump scare to frighten the most gullible person in their group of friends-- but nonetheless, they were prepped and ready to go.

“This is stupid, guys. Leave Veronique alone.”

Ian shook his head. The lot of them were all good and drunk by now, but nevertheless, Braydon Stewart remained the voice of reason, fixing an exasperated gaze on his determined friend.

“Really--what’s the point? You’re just going to freak her out and she’s going to swear at you in French for ten minutes and sulk for the rest of the trip. You really want to deal with a sulking Ronnie?”

“I don’t.” Elizabeth Echolls spoke up firmly from Braydon’s side, her arms crossed over her chest. “You guys are so childish. Ian, I expect it from, but--”

Lana shrugged at Natasha’s side when Elizabeth’s eyes fixed on her. She was drunk enough that she was merely following along with whatever was suggested.

“Relax, Lizzie. Who cares what they do?” Iva Zotrova interjected from where she was sprawled out atop Veronique’s bed, her eye line not lifting from where she was meticulously inspecting her manicured nails. She let out a purposeful yawn, soft and sort of dainty as if to really push the fact that her friends were boring her to tears. “V will play little mouse for an hour or so, but at least we’ll be entertained for a few minutes. I’m dying out here without cell service--let us live a little.”

Elizabeth groaned and Braydon dropped a supportive hand on her shoulder, squeezing her with little force. “Whatever. I’m going to find Elisha. Maybe she can stop you guys from being complete idiots.”

“Probably not,” Natasha offered back with a snort, copying the mock salute that Ian offered their friends that weren’t participating in the harmless prank. Listening to Elizabeth’s grumble of annoyance and watching as Braydon followed the blonde out of the room, she placed the wavy blonde wig that they’d found in the basement (among other various props and costumes from the movies that Edgar Echolls either directed or starred in) on her head, fixing it with minor adjustment.

“We need to make you...whiter. You’re too tan,” Ian commented with pursed lips, his attention pulling from Natasha when Iva spoke from the bed again.

“Try Elisha’s bathroom. That пастообразная сука doesn’t know how to pick foundation.”

“I’m...going to assume that was something not nice,” Lana commented towards the girl and Iva flashed her a toothy, white smile.

“You assumed correctly.”

While Lana trudged over to the side of the bed to chat mindlessly with Iva, Ian took to dragging Natasha out of the room and into Elisha’s, where they found concealer that was about six shades too light for Natasha’s sun-kissed skin.

“Man--you look mad scary, mamacita.” Ian whistled at the girl when they’d finished making her up, trailing behind a scoffing Nat back into the room they’d just departed, where the four of the occupants in the confined space sat in silence, listening for the creak of floorboards and soft, melodic humming that meant Veronique was on her way in. When they heard what they were waiting for they scrambled into their positions, only Iva moving slowly and gracefully to perch herself atop the closed toilet seat with the bathroom door open only a crack so that she’d be able to see Veronique, but not the French girl her.

As soon as the door swung open, Natasha began speaking, her voice brought up a couple octaves to play on a sort of ghostly coo.

“Veroniqueeee…Veroniqueeee…”

They barely heard the whisper of mama? before Veronique spun on her heels, a shriek of shock and terror parting her lips as she sprinted numbly down the stairs and out the front door into the cold night. Ian, Natasha, and Lana gaped after her. Even Iva stood from where she’d been seated, charging out the door and down the stairs, the rest of her friends following. The four of them made it to the porch before they were met by the stunned trio of Elizabeth, Braydon and Elisha.

“What the hell did you guys do?” Elisha yelled, listening to the frantic crunch of sticks under Veronique’s feet grow quieter and quieter as she departed further into the forest. “What the hell?” Urgently, the older Echolls sister darted back into the house to grab her coat, shoving her arms through it in panic before she started out into the snow. “Stay there!” She yelled back to Elizabeth and her friends. The group stood there in stunned silence for a moment before Ian spoke.

“Should we go after them?”

“I kind of think you’re the last person Veronique wants to see right now.” Elizabeth hissed back in return, frantically scanning the dark, winter blown forest line with her eyes. Looking for her friend. Her sister.

A moment later, they heard a shrill scream and a terrifying shriek. Veronique and Elisha were not seen again.

Elizabeth snapped out of her thoughts abruptly, peeling the side of her face from the chilly bus window with a soft sigh. The podcast she’d been listening to had died out into a soft buzzing noise to let her know that they’d entered the dead zone for cell phone service and reception of any kind. She, Emily and Elisha had inquired about twenty times with their father as to whether or not they’d ever put towers up on Blackwood Mountain and every time, Edgar responded with why would I spend a million dollars to get wifi for a place we’re at for six days out of the year maximum? and the girls would always counter with soft grumbles or the rolling of eyes.

When the bus came to a halt, Elizabeth stood, not quite ready to brave the cold again.

“You sure this is your stop, kid?” The driver asked when she’d made it to the stairs. The Lodge sitting at the very top of the mountain wasn’t a structure visited very often--especially since the...disappearances--and Elizabeth had to specifically tell the driver before she climbed aboard the bus that her stop was at Blackwood Pines or else he wouldn’t have stopped.

She nodded, hesitantly climbing down the stairs. The bus, after a few pointed turns, started it’s descent down the mountain, leaving her there to stare at the hanging Blackwood Pines sign all alone. Shifting her backpack on her back, she started forwards down the trail, knowing she’d want to reach the cable car station that would take her up to the very top of the mountain before the weather got any worse. She thought, for a moment that it might have been better to come up the day before when Emily did, but she couldn’t fathom the thought of how awkward the plane, bus ride, and walk up the mountain would have been with them sitting there in uncomfortable silence. Such had been the way with them for the past two years. The loss of their friend and their sister...The not knowing had torn them apart, rather than bringing them together. Elizabeth wondered whether Emily blamed herself for being blacked out during the prank or blamed her for not being able to stop their friends from being absolute idiots. Either way, they hadn’t done much in the way of speaking since that night...one year ago tonight…

Elizabeth remembered being mildly surprised when Emily had thought up the trip at all. And that she’d thought to invite her as well.

When she made it to the first gate, the cable car station sitting behind it, she rattled the gate before noticing a sheet of paper taped off to the side. Gates busted! Climb over! -Julian, the note read and Elizabeth groaned, turning it over to find a brief email conversation between the aforementioned man and her twin sister about directions to the Lodge. Fixing the note back in place, Elizabeth took a couple steps to the side, preparing herself to climb the snow dusted stone wall that ran around the property and opened only by the sole gate. Which was busted, as Julian had so graciously informed via note. She almost found herself irritated that Emily hadn’t let her know when she was on the way up, but remembered the absence of reception on the summit and sighed. She wondered how Emily had fared alone up there for a day on her own. Elizabeth couldn’t have done it. She’d always been uneasy about coming to the Lodge in the wintertime in the first place and had her friends not been accompanying her on their trips up, she certainly wouldn’t have gone on her own. It was too quiet, even with other people around. Almost sinister.

She scrambled over the wall quickly, brushing the snow off her hands after her feet hit the ground again. The trek up to the cable car station after that was quick and easy and she paused at the edge of the building to read a sign that she’d noticed a hundred times before but had never stopped to actually...look at.

Tribes who lived in these mountains believed that butterflies carried dreams and prophecies of possible futures. The color of the butterfly indicated the nature of the prophecy. Black butterflies prophesied the dreamer’s death. Red butterflies warned of dangerous events. Brown butterflies foretold of tragedies affecting friends. Yellow butterflies offered visions to help and guide. White butterflies brought dreams of luck and good fortune.

“Hm,” She hummed quietly, starting again towards the little wooden cabin that the cable car stopped and started at.

A slash of red caught her attention right when she was about to round the cabin to wait at the platform for her ride. In a thick, red substance that had been written over the glass that protected a map of the sprawling Blackwood grounds was written THE PAST IS BEYOND OUR CONTROL.

“Eugch,” She groaned, shivering. “I hope that wasn’t Emily being a fucking edge-lord.” But on second thought, if it wasn’t Emily or her friends, Elizabeth couldn’t quite imagine who would’ve done something like that. There’d only been one suspect in Elisha and Veronique’s disappearance, but that one had been enough considering the mountain was supposed to be abandoned most of the year. A squirrely guy named Victor Wantosana that her father had apparently fired off a movie after some sort of disagreement. Apparently, he’d threatened to burn all of Edgar’s properties to the ground afterwards, but the police never found the man to question him in the disappearances.

She was torn from her thoughts again by a loud buzzing noise, one that made her jump a tad. As she rounded the corner to the platform, she saw a backpack sitting on the bench there, buzzing wildly. Cautiously, she approached the pack and and saw a cellphone hanging half out of the bag. The name Iva Zotrova flashed across the screen and Elizabeth almost dropped the device right after she’d picked it up, startled by a voice from behind her.

“Hey, nosey.”

She spun around to find Julian standing there with a grin on his face, holding his hand out expectantly for his cellphone which had since then stopped vibrating in her palm. She handed the device over, feeling a little warmth flood her cheeks.

“I was trying to avoid an avalanche,” She shot back snarkily. “Why do you have your vibration set to the same strength that my eighty year old grandfather does?”

“Oh, how I’ve missed our little back and forths, Lizzie.” Julian chuckled, bringing a hand up to ruffle the hair on her head, which she straightened back down a second later with a crinkle of her nose directed at the man. Once a close confidant of hers, she hadn’t spoken to Julian for the better part of the last year--she hadn’t spoken to any of her friends, really, aside from Braydon. She remembered sending Julian a curt happy birthday! back in May, but that’d been about it. “C’mon,” he started again, gesturing over his shoulder. “Our ride’s coming. Should be here within the next hour,” He quipped.

“Mm, let’s get out of the cold.” She nodded, waiting for him to pick up his pack before she crossed the platform to the door of the little cabin there. “Oh, right.” She hissed after rattling the locked knob. She reached into the pocket of her winter coat, producing a little silver key after a second. “I totally forgot.”

“Why’s it locked?” Julian asked.

“Mom wanted us to keep it locked,” She shrugged. “I guess they found some people sleeping in here once.” Unlocking the door and ignoring Julian’s mutter of that’s creepy, she swung open the door to the cabin, holding an arm out. “After you.”

“A real gentleman.” Julian drawled and Elizabeth rolled her eyes, following him into the cabin.

“Ugh, I thought the car was closer.” Elizabeth groaned, looking out the small window at the descending cable car. “I guess we gotta wait.”

“It’s a big mountain.” Julian shrugged, eyeing a poster that promoted Blackwood Pines Hotel and Sanatorium uneasily. “And super creepy, too. I can’t believe your dad put a house up here. No matter how rich you guys are.”

“We’re not that rich.”

“Rich enough to buy a mountain,” Julian offered back noncommittally. Elizabeth didn’t respond to that comment, changing the topic with a purse of her lips.

“It’s so beautiful during the day, you know? And in the summer time. But now...It just feels menacing. Like a sleeping giant.”

“You gonna publish?” Julian asked.

“What?”

“Your pretty poem. The Sleeping Giant of Blackwood Pines.”

“Shut up,” She snorted, turning back to the window just as Julian moved to glance at a set of small video monitors, all of them showing static except one that showed the exterior of the Echolls’ Lodge from the front. After a second, Elizabeth spoke again. “Finally. You coming?”

“I mean, I was going to stay here. Catch some Zs,” Julians joked as they started back out to the platform, Elizabeth turning to relock the cabin’s door before they stepped into the cable car together. Both of them dropping down on the same bench, they were quiet as the cable car started with a violent lurch, Elizabeth breaking the silence first.

“I hope this was the right thing to do.”

“What?”

“You know...getting everyone together on the anniversary. Emily seemed really excited to get everyone together again, but she’s just been...A wreck since everything happened, you know?”

Julian paused before speaking. “And how have you been?”

“I mean, the same, but...I’m just holding on day by day...Waiting until they find...them.” She hadn’t said Elisha or Veronique’s names aloud in the year that had passed. It was too hard, she thought, but as hard as it’d been to lose--or to have her sister disappear--Emily had lost both her sister and her girlfriend on the same night. With no way to have stopped it from happening.

Julian nodded numbly. With his mother a police officer, he knew the chances of finding the missing girls had dropped dramatically after the first forty-eight hours of them missing, despite the Echolls’ media coverage and the police’s immediate response. After a year...Julian knew that if Veronique and Elisha were found...it’d be as bodies, more than likely. He’d never say that, though. Especially not to Elizabeth or Emily. He wasn’t a complete fucking asshole.

“You know how Emily and I met in the first place?” Julian finally spoke again, watching the blonde carefully as she turned to lift a brow at him.

“No...How?”

“Okay, so third grade, right?” Elizabeth nodded, thinking. Julian had certainly been around and in their lives a lot longer than most of the rest of their friends. “Em sat in the back of the room and I sat in the front. We didn’t even know each other existed but one day, the kid sitting next to Em started snapping the training bra of the girl in front of him so the teacher made him move to the front--where I was sitting.”

“So?”

“So I got moved to the back!”

“And…”

“And next to Em! That’s how we met and we’ve been friends to this day.”

“A match made in heaven…” Elizabeth cooed, following the words with a snort of amusement. She was glad Julian had been smart enough to change the topic.

“Listen--” Julian began again, waving the girl off. “If it hadn’t been for the fact that Aubrey Walsh hit puberty like three years early and on that day decided to wear a low cut shirt that showed off her training bra...I mean, who knows? You could be sitting in this cable car alone right now. Or talking to some other person entirely.” He paused for effect. “Boom--butterfly effect.”

Braydon sat on the platform of the cable car station rooted at the top of the moutain, watching the creaky metal box slowly climb in height as a couple of new passengers made their way up from the base of the little peak that the Echolls’ lodge rested on. He’d arrived a few hours earlier and in his time spent at the station, had already seen Lana, Ian, and Natasha arrive, which meant that only Elizabeth, Iva, and Julian were still on their way. When he’d greeted his friends earlier, Ian urged him to make the short hike up to the lodge with them, but Braydon declined, claiming he was going to wait behind for the rest of their friends to arrive. Or one, in particular.

A flash of blonde hair caught his eye as the cable car came to a violent halt and as he crossed the platform, he heard banging from inside the little box, his brow lifting as he saw petite hands slamming against the glass.

“Oh, Braydon! Thank god. Hey--We’re stuck in here, can you press that--”

Braydon shoved his finger into the green release button on the cable car’s door before she could finish her request, a smile finding its way onto his face as Elizabeth and Julian stepped out of the hanging box.

“I thought we were goners, man.” Julian joked, sucking in a deep breath. “Another ten minutes in there and I would’ve chewed off my own arm.”

“That’s sick, Julian.” Elizabeth groaned, shaking her head.

“Seriously. It would have been hard, too--I’m all muscle down here.”

Braydon snorted. “Good to see you, bro.”

“Let’s have this reunion next to a fire, yeah?” Elizabeth quipped weakly after Julian and Braydon shared quick hellos. “I’m freezing my buns off out here.”

“Can’t have that.” Julian retorted. “I can think of a few people that might miss those buns.”

Elizabeth shot him a playful glare, not missing a beat when Braydon draped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her in close to offer what additional warmth he could. “She’s right. It’s ridiculously cold. C’mon.”

“I’m gonna hang out here for a minute,” Julian responded, nodding his head a couple times when Braydon and Elizabeth both cocked a brow. “Gonna wait for Iva to come up so she doesn’t have to walk alone.”

CHAPTER TWO - NINE HOURS UNTIL DAWN

“Yo, yo, yo! It’s about time you got up here!”

Elizabeth heard her sister’s excited tone from inside the Lodge and looked up to see her twin hanging out of the upstairs window.

“Is Lowell still waiting for Iva?” Emily spoke up again, her voice carrying around the open space that seperated their yard and the forest. “I swear, he’s so fucking pussy whipped.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, slipping out from under Braydon’s arm to start inside. “I’m coming in, psycho.”

Strolling into the giant, wooden building brought a wave of nostalgia to flood over her, memories of her time spent there with friends (or just with her sisters when Edgar and Evelyn were looking for a vacation) springing up to remind her of the fact that they were two people short this time around. She tried not to let that thought pull a frown onto her expression, scanning the grand, open living room the second she stepped into it.

Lana and Nat were sprawled out on the couch together, still bundled in their coats and chattering about something that Elizabeth didn’t quite care to try and overhear. Ian was in the kitchen already, rifling through the fridge to see what Emily had brought up rations-wise the day before. She supposed it was good that he wasn’t in the liquor cabinet already, at least.

The three of them offered Elizabeth and Braydon scattered greetings as they noticed them, but didn’t do much to move from where they were. Elizabeth looked up just in time to see Emily strolling down the sprawling staircase in the middle of the room with a pep in her step--Lizzie wasn’t sure whether to be concerned or smile.

“What’s up, baby sis?”

Elizabeth snorted. Born less than a minute before her, Emily was always sure to quip about their age difference.

“Freezing. Did you turn on the heat yet or what?”

Emily shook her head. Elizabeth didn’t know why she was surprised.

“You’ve been here for like...a whole two days. How have you not frozen your ass off yet?” She asked, a brow raising curiously. It was a wonder Emily was alive, she thought bitterly, her own arms tightening around her middle more. Braydon’s hand went to the small of her back and she tried to un-tense.

Emily shrugged. “I’ve been busy setting some stuff up.” Elizabeth looked around, ready to ask what stuff, as the lodge looked the absolute same as it did the last time they...She didn’t. She didn’t want to get into that again.

“Furnace is in the basement. You know how to work it, little sis. Get goin’.”

“Lizzie’s turning the heat on?” Lana started from the couch, her eyes wide in excitement. Elizabeth rolled her eyes. She knew her other friends had been there long before she made the hike up the mountain, but getting Lana to do any physical-esque labor and pulling Natasha out of the same room as Ian was pretty much like pulling teeth, so she wasn’t surprised at all that none of them had already taken a stab at getting the furnace running already.

“How long do you think it’ll take you?” Nat asked and Elizabeth was interrupted by a joke from the kitchen.

“My bet’s on blankets for everyone.” Ian commented and Elizabeth grumbled, her arms uncrossing so that she could clutch Braydon’s hand and drag him in the direction of the basement. She certainly was not going down there alone. She heard her sister speak as she departed.

“Alright, peanut gallery. I have a job for you three. We’ve got a spirit board around here somewhere. Find it.”

CHAPTER THREE - EIGHT HOURS UNTIL DAWN

“So it says here: to communicate with the spirit world you must free your mind of all preconceptions, drop all inhibitions, and generally give yourself over entirely to the will of others, sublimating your every desire to the whims of the spirit-master, which is me--”

“It does not say that,” Natasha interrupted, rolling her eyes at Ian, who was reading from the inside of the box that the Ouija board had come in. Emily shook her head from the other side of the table.

“And all present will remove their garments at my sole discretion--” Ian started again, this time cut off by Emily, whose voice was stern.

“This is serious, Ian.”

“Oh, I’m deadly serious.”

“Let’s just try this,” Emily commented, placing her fingers on the counter between them. Ian and Natasha followed. Lana, who hadn’t even wanted to hunt for the board, had opted out of sitting in on the seance they were about to start into. Something about bad vibes and how her mother had done a movie at one point (directed by Edgar Echolls, conveniently) where a Ouija board had possessed the user to kill all of her friends, so she was so not about to get involved in that spooky stuff. Elizabeth, post she and Braydon’s mission to the basement that had come with a scare from Julian after he and Iva had finally made it up the mountain, had decided to sit the seance out as well, knowing her sister was likely up to no good. Instead, she said she saw a bath in her own crystal ball and was instructed by Emily to not fuck Braydon in her bed. Julian and Iva...Emily didn’t really care what they were up to, but they weren’t sitting in either.

“Okay then, let's see what happens. Nat, since you're a recent convert, why don't you be our medium for today?” Ian commented over to Natasha.

“Okay. Uhhh. Is anyone there...? Helloo...Pick up the phone...spirits...Spirit phone...Ummm...Abracadabra...?”

“Nat…” Emily warned.

“Umm...If you can hear my voice, give us a sign.”

“Yeah,” Ian said. “Like a peace sign. Or a stop sign or something.”

“Are you guys going to take this seriously or not?”

“Okay, okay…” Nat tried again. “Is anyone there? Wherever there is?”

The counter moved between them and Emily looked up from the board to her friends in shock before shooting her gaze back down to catch the letters the open circle was sliding over.

“What the fuck?” Emily gasped. “Help? What does that mean?”

“Are you doing this, Em?”

“No, Ian, I’m fucking not. Help who? What does--”

“War? Wha--It’s not moving fast enough.”

“Warning.” Nat murmured. “Oh, shit. Warning for what?”

“Elisha, is that you?”

“Ian!”

“No, let him!” Emily shuddered. “It’s moving again.”

“What?”

“Nat, shut up! It’s still going.”

“Killed. Fuck, oh--Fuck.”

“Em, we should stop.”

“No!” Emily gasped. “How did you die? Who killed you?”

“The library!” Nat exclaimed. “Maybe there’s something in there!”

“Proof! Proof in the library, we--”

Natasha was cut off at the spirit board started to shake and the counter flew off the table, causing the three of them to jump back. Emily stood from her seat angrily, shaking her head.

“No, you know what? This is bullshit. Fuck you guys. You’re not funny.”

There was a moment of silence in which Ian and Nat couldn’t do anything but stare at each other in shock before Emily stormed out and they hesitantly followed, finding the hallways empty by the time they pushed out of the empty room they’d been occupying. There was only one place they could think to go and that was unspoken between the two of them as they silently started towards the Echolls’ home library, the silence breaking when Ian finally spoke.

“Do you think that was really Elisha or was Emily joshing us?”

“I don’t know…” Nat started cautiously. “I don’t know if I want it to be Lish or not, but I don’t think Em was fucking with us. She looked pretty freaked out. Speaking of--”

She was cut off as they walked into the library, a few books to her right flying off the shelf to hit her in the shoulder.

“Ow! Fuck!” She bent down, looking at what had fallen. “Why am I being assaulted with Dickens?”

“Wait...Look. Check this out, Nat.” Ian spoke, his gaze fixed on something on the shelf the books had just flown off. “Why’s there a button there?”

“I, uh...I don’t know. Should I push it?”

“Mm, that’s what buttons are for, I guess.”

Natasha hesitantly pressed the little red button, watching in a mixture of shock and awe as the bookcase slid to the side to reveal a little room behind it.

“Panel opens.” Ian started. “Head explodes.”

“Are we, like...In a movie right now or something?” Nat asked in confusion, not daring to step into the room. “Leave it to Edgar Echolls to have secret passages in his vacation home.”

“If we are...I hope it’s a rom-com.” A pause. “Let’s check it out.”

“No, no, no.” Nat snorted. “You go right ahead.”

“Gee, thanks.” Ian grumbled, shaking his head as he started into the little room. “It’s super whack in here, I--” He stopped talking as his eyes landed on a photo of Emily, Elizabeth and Elisha standing together, big smiles on their faces as if they’d been laughing at some sort of joke when the photo was taken. Picking it up hesitantly, he turned it around to find ugly, red scrawl on the back.

I WILL TAKE THEM AND BLEED THEM LIKE PIGS AND RIP THEIR SOFT WHITE SKIN OFF! FUCKING 16 YEARS. 16 YEARS I WAITED FOR THE PRETTY LITTLE ECHOLLS SISTERS.

“What the fuck,” Ian grumbled aloud, and Natasha stepped into the room after him. Ian wasn’t one to swear much and when he did, it was evident to anyone around him that something was severely fucked up. “Look...Look at this.”

What the--Ian, what is that? We...Oh, god. We need to find Emily. Right now.”

CHAPTER FOUR - SEVEN HOURS UNTIL DAWN

Julian woke with a groan, an unignorable chill hitting him as soon as his senses were up and running again. A sharp pain shot through his skull and he tried to remember what he’d been doing before...Before…

As a matter of fact, he couldn’t remember how the fuck he’d ended up...He was outside. In the snow, directly in front of the old shed that he and Iva had passed on their walk up to the Lodge.

Iva. Oh, fuck, Iva. Julian bolted up, ignoring the fact that he was clad in nothing more than his jeans and the thin, long sleeved Henley he’d been wearing since before his flight up to Canada. Where was his jacket? He’d been wearing it before, at the Lodge. More importantly, where was Iva? She’d been with him when he was--when they were--attacked. By some crazy...masked asshole…

He didn’t remember exactly how it’d happened, only that he’d been walking through the house with Iva and in one misguided turn away from her, Iva’d been gone when he turned back around and seconds later, he’d been struck in the face and then...Well, now he was here.

“Iva? Iva?”

“Julian!”

Iva.

Her voice had him turning wildly towards the shed, eyes wide and terror coursing through his heart.

“Iva!”

“Julian, I’m here! Jules, I--Emily? Emily, О Боже, wake up!”

Julian darted into the shed with no concern of himself, following the sound of Iva’s voice into a room cutting off another with a wide, glass window that was dirtied by time and the elements. Behind the glass, he was met with the horrifying sight of Iva and Emily held up against the wall in restraints, a circular saw a few feet back from them at the end of a track that split into two different tracks leading right up to the both of them. He tried the door to his right once, twice, three times before trying to kick it down to no avail, all the while listening to the terrified sounds of his best friend and the woman he loved from behind the thick, impenetrable glass.

“Hello, everyone.”

A distorted voice cut through his attempts to physically knock down the sturdy metal door that separated him from two of the three most important women in his life, filtering through some sort of rigged speaker system that he only noticed upon looking up.

“Tonight we’re going to conduct a little experiment. A sort of test, some might say.”

“What the fuck is going on?” Julian shouted up at nothing, frantically looking back and forth between the two horrified women that were still fighting their bounds.

“Now, for this experiment, we’ll need the cooperation of our two test subjects...Emily and Iva..”

“Holy shit. What the fuck. Oh my god.” Emily was muttering in fear, her voice only high enough for Julian to barely hear it.

“What? What’s happening?” Iva countered with a break to her tone.

“But we’re going to need more than one brave participant…” The mysterious voice continued, “To help decide which subject will live...and which one will die.”

“No, no. О Боже, no! Julian, god, Julian get us the fuck out of here!”

“No! No, you can’t do this! Let us down from here, you fucking psycho!” Emily shouted in return, beginning to spew other swears before she was cut off by the doctored voice once more.

“Now, please...Everyone calm down...It’s all very simple...Julian, you will find a lever placed directly in front of you,” And as promised, Julian looked down to find a lever sicking straight up in front of him, a half circle setting at the bottom to signal that it only went two ways. Towards Iva or towards Emily. “All you have to do...Is choose who you’re going to save. Whoever you care for more...turn the lever in their direction.”

A strangled noise of fear came from Iva as the circular saw fired up, starting to drift slowly down towards the middle of the track. Julian’s own eyes widened in stunned horror and he looked from the lever to Iva and Emily, who were both franctically screaming different things.

“Julian! О Боже, Julian, you can’t let me die! Возлюбленная, please! Fuck, please!”

“Julian, dude...Let’s just--ah--Let’s think about this for a second, man.”

Julian was physically blanched, frozen in the spot. His hand hovered over the lever as he watched the saw continue forward with a deafening screech. What would happen if he did nothing?

“If you do nothing,” The voice spoke, as if reading his mind, “Both will perish.”

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, just...Just…” He tried to cut through the sound of the girls creaming behind the glass, his breathing hitching as he felt himself starting into a panic attack. “Just give me a second...I can’t think straight.”

“Bro, Julian, please,” Emily pleaded, the fear in her eyes like nothing Julian had ever seen on her before. “I don’t wanna go out like this man, and we’ve been through so much! Please!” She paused, only long enough for Iva to screech a what the fuck! out, continuing. “I know...I know we haven’t been the best of friends lately and that I’ve been all fucked up and everything, but I’m getting better, man! I swear!”

Julian’s heart clenched.

“Iva,” He whispered. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, I...I’m…” With a ragged sob flying from his lips, he gripped the lever in front of him tightly, tugging it in Emily’s direction. He loved Iva, he really did. He’d never felt for anyone the way he felt for her, but Emily was his best friend. The person that, until the last year, had been by his side since they were in the third grade. The choice was hard and horrible, but the answer was obvious.

“I see…” The voice spoke instantly, and Julian felt his entire body freeze over, the chill in his bones having nothing at all to do with the freezing temperature he stood in, provided by the ominous pounding of the blizzarding snow against the wooden side of the shed. “You have chosen to save Iva.”

“What? Julian, what the fuck!” Emily shouts drowned out his own mutters of what? What, no! I didn’t...I didn’t mean to…, the betrayal in her voice cutting through him like a knife. Iva was silent now, her gaze darting from Julian to Emily in sheer horror, watching as the saw crept closer and closer to Julian’s long time friend. “What the fuck, man! I thought we were friends! I Thought we--Oh my god, what did I do? What did I do, Julian, I--” She was cut off as the saw hit her in the mid-section, tearing at her flesh like it was tissue paper. Gurgled screams pushed past her lips and Iva’s screams mingled in, flooding Julian’s senses as the panic attack he’d been staving off hit him full force. All he could mutter was fuck, fuck, fuck...until Emily stopped screaming and the bottom half of her body fell to the ground below like a bag full of rocks, the saw still spinning into the wooden wall where Emily’s top half still hung above it.

“No, no, no…” He choked out, tears freely falling down his face. Iva had turned away from the carnage at Emily’s first scream and still had her eyes buried into her own shoulder, although she was wet now with the splattered blood of their friend from nearly head to toe. “Don’t look. Iva, don’t…”

With a sickening click, the door to his right swung upon on its own and Julian only hesitated for the shortest of beats while he was still panicking before he darted into the room, running straight for Iva while trying to avoid the sight of...what had moments ago been Emily. “I’m--I’m here, Z. I’ve got you. I’m gonna get you down, baby I--” He unstrapped her from the wall immediately, a huff escaping him when Iva fell into him, sobs wracking through her body as she buried her face into the thin shirt that separated him from the chill around them that he didn’t even feel due to the adrenaline coursing through his veins. “Ah, fuck, we gotta--we gotta get out of here--Shhh, Shh, We have to--” Julian brought his hand to the back of her head and gently pressed his palm against her hair to ensure she wouldn’t lift her head from his chest to see the bloody mess that Emily’s corpse was. Iva clung to him, her arms around his neck, him carrying her bridal style out of the shed as quickly as he could. When he thought nothing else could possibly worsen what had happened, he saw Emily in front of him--or Elizabeth, his mind finally rationalized after a second or two of staring at Lizzie’s plate sized eyes and horrified expression.

“What happened?” She asked, concern lacing her tone. Braydon jogged up a second later, his breathing coming out ragged and strained as if he’d been chasing Elizabeth through the sprint of woods from the Lodge to where Julian was holding a blood-soaked Iva.

“Blood?” Braydon asked and Elizabeth’s gaze snapped from Julian’s somber expression to Iva’s blood splattered body, fear gripping her like a vice.

“Blood?” She repeated. “Who’s blood is that? Who--”

“Em…” Julian choked out.

“Man, what?” Braydon pushed, a mild panic coursing through him as he watched Lizzie’s expression shift to one of genuine terror, the petrifying feeling in the air only intensified by the fact that Iva seemed to refuse to lift her head from Julian’s chest. “Julian…”

“Right in front of us, B...Right in...She’s…”

Elizabeth didn’t wait for him to finish, sprinting into the structure that Julian and Iva had just emerged from to find her sister’s severed body, Emily’s head dropped down limply towards the ground. A shrill scream tore through her throat and she dropped to the frozen floor of the shed, sobbing into her thighs. She didn’t hear the footfalls that meant Braydon or Julian or whoever had followed her in, nor did she register the muffled sounds of someone trying to comfort her or the feeling of cold hands on her back and her arms and her face. Nothing cut through the haze she was in now, images of her sister’s mutilated corpse flooding her thoughts to sit side by side with the assuming images of what might have happened to Elisha a year prior still fresh in her head.

CHAPTER FIVE - SIX HOURS UNTIL DAWN

“How did we end up getting the worst job ever?” Ian asked as they trudged through the snow, Natasha at his side and shivering in the cold. He thought about offering her his jacket but decided against it, assuming that it’d be certain death for him to face the cold with no coat. The snow was falling in buckets now and he knew by the time they reached the radio tower that they’d probably be in it up to their knees.

“Dude, come on…” Nat started, looking over to him with an incredulous expression. “Lizzie’s sister just got fucking killed.”

“Yeah, which is probably why none of us should be out here, bro.”

“You wanna sit up in that Lodge like sitting ducks, knowing that help isn’t coming?” Ian didn’t answer. “I don’t.”

“What about BStew, then? Julian? Iva?”

Natasha groaned over at the young man, seeing the radio tower looming in front of them now that they’d come into a clearing of sorts, the eerie woods at their backs. “Julian and Iva had to watch Emily get deli sliced. You think they’re not traumatized, man? And BStew knows Lizzie better than anyone. He’s gotta stay there with her.”

“Lana?” He tried finally, glancing over to Nat with a raised brow.

“Are you kidding?” She started. “Crazy killer running around in the woods? Lana would get butchered in seconds and we’re trying to keep our numbers up, bro. Stop being such a baby, at least we have a chance.”

“You have a chance,” He muttered as they came up to the base of the tower and were met with an elevator. He thought, ironically, of how much the radio tower reminded him of the Eiffel Tower. Not the real one, of course, but the fake one at King’s Island that he’d gone up once or twice while visiting his mother’s family in the Cincinnati area. This elevator, although, did not remind him of the beautiful glass elevator on the faux Eiffel Tower he knew and loved, but of something more sinister. It was the kind of elevator with the metal doors you had to pry apart and metal grating behind that in which you had to do the same. A steel box of death, he mused. “Dude...Let’s...not, maybe. The only time you see elevators like this is in trendy New York lofts and in horror movies where the sweet old granny you get stuck in the creepy elevator with was Satan all along.” He paused, swallowing. “Does this look like a gentrified Brooklyn loft to you?”

Nat scoffed, pulling apart the metal doors so that she could go to work on the grates alone, waiting until she was finally able to usher Ian inside the elevator to reverse what she’d done. When everything was secure, she stabbed at the button meant to take them up and pressed her hands to the wall next to her to steady herself when the box lurched upwards violently.

“Hail Mary, full of grace, the lord is with thee. Blessed are thou--”

“Ian, shut up,” Nat hissed.

After a few seconds of them holding their breaths and clutching what they could of the walls due to the lack of railing or any kind of support in general within the elevator, it came to a shaky stop and Natasha waited with bated breath for a second before freeing them.

“Ugh, it’s so dark,” She muttered, letting her eyes adjust to the change in the room. Windows all around the circular room let in slivers of white, but no real light shone through, just...snow. So much snow.

“Lights?” Ian questioned and Nat resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

“Don’t think so, Sherlock. Try something, though.”

Ian nodded, walking up to a printer and jabbing the power button a few times. “Nothin’.”

“Hm. There’s gotta be a fuse box around here somewhere.”

“Find it?”

“I’m going to punch you in the face, Ian.” Nat sighed after the threat, moving around the room with purpose until she finally found the item she was looking for. Opening the metal panel with a lightning bolt painted onto it, she flipped a switch and triumphantly, the lights flickered on and she heard the hum of the printer that Ian had been messing with previously as it started working. “What’s it printing?” She asked quizically, watching as Ian’s expression turned somber and he grabbed one of the papers from the printer’s tray.

“Lish…” He started and Natasha frowned, looking at Elisha’s black and white face with MISSING printed over it in big, bold letters.

“I’m sorry you’re still missing, Lish…” She whispered sadly.

“Yeah, but like...them missing is starting to make hella sense now. Like, I’m sure what happened to Emily ha--”

“Ian,” Nat hissed.

“My bad.”

Not offering the young man another word, Nat made her way over to the radio she’d noticed as soon as the lights went up, tuning it until she finally heard a voice.

“--Hello is someone trying to contact us? This is the park ranger service for Blackwood County. I'm not getting your signal very well. Please speak slowly and clearly, over.”

“Oh, shit! Yes! Yes!” Nat screeched into the little walkie attached to the radio, unable to hide her excitement. “Yes, please, we need help!”

“If you can hear this, please repeat your message as I am unable to understand what you are saying, over.”

Nat sighed in exasperation.

“We're on...Blackwood Mountain...by the ski lodge...there's a killer and he's after us and he's already killed one of our friends. Oh god, please help, you've got to help us!”

Just as Natasha spoke, the security lights at the bottom of the tower that had turned on when they approached the structure initially went on and Nat paused.

“Probably nothing, lil mama.” Ian tried to reassure, although he felt the fear bubbling in him as well. “Deer or something, probably. Tripped the sensor, ya’know?”

Nat didn’t have time to answer, her attention caught by the voice on the radio again.

“I read you, ma'am. Please do not leave your position. We will send out helicopters to get you as soon as the storm has subsided, over.”

“What? When? How long is that going to take?” Nat asked wildly.

“Dawn at the earliest. Not until dawn, over.”

Before Nat could protest, the entire tower lurched and they heard the sickening sound of one of the support beans being cut and all at once they were tossed to the side as the tower began to fall, Nat hitting one of the windows with such a force that it threw her neck to the side hard enough to break it and Ian, after watching Nat’s eyes roll upwards, lost his grip on the beam he’d been clinging to and fell as well, impaled by the fire safety ax he’d almost picked up when the lights turned on. After all, he would have felt safer with an ax.

As Julian woke again, he found himself recalling a particular piece of wisdom that his mother had dropped on him many years ago in the face of whatever sort of child-like struggle he was up against at the time.

When things are bad, they’re only going to get worse until you make them better yourself, niño. The bad keeps coming and coming and coming until you feel like there’s nothing you could possibly do to make things better and then--finalmente! You are stronger than ever in the end because you have faced nothing but struggle.

Basically, when shit knocked you down, shit kept kicking. And shit was kicking, he thought, coming out of the muddied haze from whatever drugs had been used to knock him out. He chided himself, although not as seriously as he should have for having been caught off guard not once, but twice that night. Now, as his vision came back fully and he saw Iva sitting across from him at a long, wooden table, he cursed himself for letting himself be taken by surprise because it meant that she was put in danger. Not once, but twice.

“Jules?” She mumbled weakly, lifting her head to squint over at him. A sickly purple and green ring circled her left eye and Julian shifted desperately where he sat in hopes of reaching her but noticed instead, for the first time, that he was strapped to the chair he was in at the waist and around his ankles.

“Oh, fuck, Iva...What did he do to you?”

“I...I think he hit me.” She whispered back in response and Julian struggled against his restraints more.

“Mierda,” He spat, his brows furrowing as he watched her fully come to. “I’m gonna murder his fucking face off. You hear that, gilipollas? Voy a matarte por lo que le hiciste a mi chica!” Whether he was talking about Emily or Iva at that point, he wasn’t quite sure himself, but he knew yelling wasn’t going to help. And he could see on Iva’s face that it was only scaring the shit out of her more.

“We’re going to die,” She said after a second, her breathing ragged and her eyes widened over at him. “Julian, we’re going to die this time. I’m not--I’m not ready to die, I have things I want to do and things I never said to you and--”

“Iva--baby, please--We’re not going to die, okay? We’re not. Breathe.”

“Julian, fuck off!” She screeched. “Look at us! Emily is fucking dead! Nat and Ian are out there--probably also dead. Elisha and V--It’s not hard to imagine what happened to them after this, I--We’re so fucked. We’re going to die, we’re going to die and it’s not fair because I don’t want to die with you, I...We’re going to die. We’re going to die and we wasted everything.”

“No,” Julian started again firmly, having already winced off her harsh words, entranced by the terrified ones. “No, no...We haven’t wasted anything, okay? Every second I spent with you was the only thing I ever wanted to do with my time, Iva. We’re not going to die and when we get out of here, I’m gonna--”

“Hello, my special little test subjects.”

Julian froze. The voice from before. The Psycho or whatever Braydon had dubbed it. The asshole that killed his best friend.

“Don’t be scared, amor. It’s fine, it’s--”

Before he could finish, their gazes snapped upwards, the sound of a saw starting above them and slowly lowering towards them diverting their attention from each other. Iva didn’t even scream, merely letting go a strangled noise of terror.

“Oh, but she should be scared. You should be scared, Iva, because here’s the twist: Julian’s already made one fatal choice today and now…”

“No,” Julian hissed, the pistol on the table in front of him making a lot more sense now. “No.”

“You must make another. Julian...you can take that gun in front of you and shoot Iva, or you can shoot yourself. Whoever is left, can live! The choice is yours.”

Julian picked the gun up immediately, raising it to shoot at the saw above them. The bullet ricocheted off the spinning blade and shot past them and he listened to the repulsive sound of their crazed attacker chuckling. “Don’t be an idiot, Julian.”

He looked up at the saw again. Looked around wildly. Looked from the gun in his hand up to Iva, who his gaze settled on. He remembered the words of the Psycho earlier, with Emily. If you do nothing, both will perish.

And then he raised the gun to his own head, ignoring Iva’s screams of no! and let his finger hover over the trigger.

CHAPTER SEVEN - FOUR HOURS UNTIL DAWN

“I can’t find Lana anywhere, Lizzie. She was upstairs and said she was going to take a nap, but when I went up to her room, the window was open and there were track marks in the snow on the roof. Like she slid down to the ground or something. She’s not outside, either, I--Lizzie? Are you listening?”

Elizabeth didn’t look up to Braydon. Didn’t shift her gaze from the framed photo she held of her once whole family at all. She’d been like that for an hour or so. Frozen in a state of unconsciousness, despite the fact that she was wide awake. Braydon had told her to follow Lana’s lead and lie down a little earlier, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep, either. Not with the image of her twin sister literally sawed in half still dancing around her head. She wasn’t a glutton for punishment and she didn’t want to be faced with those nightmares.

“Lizzie,” Braydon tried again gently, strolling over to the couch that Elizabeth sat on in the main room to drop down next to her, his hand moving to cover hers. She cringed away from him immediately, letting a second pass before her she finally looked up to him with a sort of apologetic expression.

“I’m sorry, Braydon, I--”

Three gunshots in a row cut her off and by instinct, both she and Braydon sprung off the couch, him looking down at her with wide, concerned eyes.

“The basement,” She hissed. “Came from the basement.”

And without listening to any of his protests that she should stay behind, she started towards the basement door, not bothering to think twice about the danger she was probably running into. And danger, she was right to assume, as the sight she was met with made her freeze in place. Iva and Julian, strapped down to chairs across from the long table she used to play poker with her dad and siblings at on vacation against their mother’s wishes, Julian’s arm raised with a gun in his hand, the sights leveled on a masked man who was looking down to his dungaree clad chest--which, if she was assuming correctly, Julian had just shot at. Braydon appeared behind her a second later, his hands wrapping around her arms from behind.

“What the fuck?” Julian hissed, eyes wide.

“What, Julian?” The distorted voice was stomach churning, filled with deep amusement. “You’ve never heard of blanks before?” The masked Psycho turned around and Elizabeth felt her heart stop. “Look at who decided to join the party. Almost have the whole gang here, don’t we? Aw, Little Lizzie, you look kind of...startled. You all look so...scared.” There was a pause before the masked man spoke again. “How does it feel? Do you enjoy feeling terrorized? Humiliated? I mean, panicked? All those emotions that my sister and my girlfriend got to feel once one year ago! Only guess what? They didn't get to laugh it off! No! Nope! No, no, no! They're gone!”

Wait.

“Oh come, come-come-come-come. Why the long faces? Come on! It's good to get the heart racing every now and then, right? And race they did, I mean, every one of you, just pitter-pat, pitter-pat! I hope you appreciated my little phantasmagorical spectacle!”

“What the fu--”

Elizabeth was cut off. Everyone had to have pieced it together at that point, right? Not just her?

“I mean, no detail too small! No opportunity missed! It was such a delight to play the puppet master to all of your Pavlovian panic! And all that gore? I mean, gore, there was gore galore! Fake bodies...I mean, god that shit was expensive! And no retakes! Nope, nope, nope, only double takes! You should have seen your faces. Hook, line and sinker for every little fuckin’ stinker!”

Fake bodies. Retakes. What. The. Fuck.

“What? Don’t gimme those faces. Come on, you guys are all going to thank me when you become internet sensations! Oh, and you better believe this little puppy is going viral ladies and germs. I mean, we got unrequited love. We got...we got blood! I don't think there's enough hard drives in China to count all the view we're gonna get, you guys.”

And just then, the distortion of the voice ceased and the mask lifted, long, brown hair tumbling down from where it’d been shoved inside.

“Emily?”

#bingo board au #sccu; taskthirteen #i have been working on this for 25 years i am so dead inside #also i wish that Christine was here with Callie when I started writing this bc Liz likes her much more than Lana #sorry Brookelynn

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tranquilitybasehotelcasino · 7 years

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honorable mentions: quotes that didnt make it into my recent "the signs as" post

but wAS THE DOCTOR NOrMAN BATES????? good evening, you dirty homestuck lmo i lunch what are you, a chump welcome to your tape i nominate cordy for bucket duty PENNSYLVANIAAAAAA you got me. i am a cute polyamorous fuck thats allergic to spice "Yahtzee" said Dave. "Oppan Gangnam Style," her brain said approvingly. "Bruh," said Terezi. 🐴esist "i ship it" bb said blankly. the score is now Cordy 826, Jacob Asshole. welcome to scenic Screwup City, population Allison Keith "fuck up", see under "shut the" at least we have memes to dull the pain of existence i once had a dream that the kid who played rico in hannah montana went to our school im allison, from gym class im karina, from hell imagine if all babies sounded like Cr1tikal i think i convinced my moms friend to name her son eridan gay love! bee communism, and robot communism for that matter, sleepless in seattle 2: electric boogaloo yknow i dont think nebraska exists ava and emma are pyromaniacs, more at 11 dont you >:3c at me young man how did you know chess the musical was a musical about chess i hate shakespeare but ive alrready sold my soul to the bard *someone sends me a video of a furry convention* this is cyberbullying okay ive wanted to do this for a while but guys i gotta come out to you im a communist and a lesbian but more importantly a communist "disgusting" beef cheek bernie will pierce me DIE COMMIE FUCKER kisses smorch is a valid fantroll name i sweater god sounds like something a daddy dom would say amelia have you ever heard of a wild concept called church and the redemption of sin my entire body is in tangible pain!!! n'y'all welcome to hellmurder island ill be your concierge LEEEEEEEEROY NJENKINS hatsune malfoy maybe the REAL horcruxes were the friends we made along the way *soccer mom voice* sorry marlene, you arent daddy material pumpkin party in sea hitler's water apocalypse: the real straight agenda I HAVE WEAK THUMBS, LIZZIE my name. is will SHAW. *accidentally flushed my pad down the toilet* well this has gone completely fucking pear shaped, looks like theres no other way outta it. youre going to have to decapitate m no but listen have you ever actually played russian roulette dave strider, hatsune miku, and vlad the impaler walk into a bar, brandon you chicken fried fuck chapter one; old man megido and the freezer of doom STEALING MY PHONE WONT CHANGE YOUR INCESTUOUS FEELINGS ANDREW *blasting metal crusher* fuck me mettaton hey cordy what happens if i snort pop rocks "you die" shit really fuck you and fuck your dog biscuits!! young man, are you suggesting we blackmail batman i identify as an anime character, i promise i am pikachu in my heart im a fucking winner! a winner!!!! oh shit its sans undertale OH SHIT ITS JOHN HOMESTUCK O H S H I T I T S D I P P E R G R A V I T Y F A L L S No Archive Warnings Apply: Aradia Megido/Aradia Megido fucking mc escher YOUVE MURDERED US BOTH, YOU SON OF A BITCH, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU *loudly humming megalovania* "please" sbear ov juddice shes fuckinh whispering the lyrics to funkytown in my ear *ievan polkka blasting* taste THIS rainbow! goddammit janet b-buddy? *dani california blasting* listen. have you ever seen 2001: a space odyssey? "no" okay watch it and tell me being in love with hal 9000 is wrong i warned you about the stairs bro, i told you dog IT JUST KEEPS HAPPENING ELLLLLLECTRIC LEMONNNNNNN *screaming* MARQUISE SPINNERET MINDFANG eat me, lizzie millican! mushroom dance, mushroom dance, whatever could it mean? "it means youve lived a life of sin" *loud and squeakily* aND EVERY TIME WE ToUC H— DOES ANYONE HAVE THE VIDEO OF ME SWALLOWING RUBBER "nah" ha! youre broke! why is beetlejuice mossy WRONG CHAT WRONG CHAT i am the left brain, i am the left brain work very hard till my inevitable death brain you got a job to do, you better do it right and the right way is with the left brains might I L I K E O R E O S A N D P U S S Y welcome to antisocials anonymous *angrily* tHIS is why youre nEVER GONNA BE STAGE MANAGER *someone sneezes* shut the fuck up your blood is like a venetian delicacy also send nudes DIDNT MEAN TO SEND THAT THOSE ARE MY MINECRAFT PANTIES YOU SON OF A BITCH we should all go to comic con as homeless people with aids "no, annick" ITS BETTER THAN UNDERTALE im so sorry mr strizzle "lance lance revolution" please watch less voltron im pretty sure thats called cystic fibrosis Annick DuChateau has changed her name to 4 Entire DQ Blizzards in a Trench Coat on the count of three everyone kinkshame karina thats gay charlotte!!!! thats gay!!!! "and his memes arent funny" HEY NOW babbay pullmd close rin the backerseart of yowizr rofetr WHERE ARE MY HEADPHONES IM GONNA TAKE BLEACH SHOTS i cant believe brandons a directioner "i cant believe jacks emo" cry me a table, linda *groping an undertale body pillow* kama sutra, siena *singing off key* oNE RinG to RULE THem aLL soak me in your finest milks daddy who is our messiah? ... mrs d'angelo (our science teacher) *brandishing a plastic horseshoe* take it back, fuckboy i hate the library. everyone hates the library. you know what? heres your three dollars. ill see you in hell every time you speak, i hear the sound it makes when pac-man dies rey picks up kylo and dunks him in the trash. fucking obliterated are you a parking ticket? the future terrifies me if you cant put an end to moffat's shit writing you cant put an end of my life cake. stick it in your hoo-hah POLICE PUT THE CUMMIES ON THE GROUND oh you love homestuck? name five of his albums your room has posters with the dead eyes of Cameron Diaz boring through the souls of all who enter--- sollux feels trapped in a hell of "Wheels on the Bus" holy shit is that kurt cobain "yahtzee" said dave "ahem. undertale" then im gonna pull out my dads bigass bowling ball like "this is 1/800 the mass of vy canis majoris" only dumbfucks play magic the gathering in his free time, reginald enjoys BODY SLAMMING CIVILIANS WITH HIS WHEELCHAIR YES EGGSY blondie screeches to a halt, another comrade fallen meggers preggers THE HOT WINGS AVA THE HOT WINGS lizzie dont name your kid onomatopoeia annick youre a running joke in my household i can cut fabric lady but if you wanna see a super special skill i can cut human flesh you kids with your understuck and hometale im extra homosexual, but im in love with him. god bless that man. his laugh is my text tone bellybutton fetish KARINA ITS FIVE AM

#im funny i swear #homestuck #turntechshitpost

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junaeneous · 7 years

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Ukiyo (fluff)

MEMBER/GROUP: Kim Jongin // EXO

GENRE: fluff, lots of fluff and ahem *cough slightly mature cough*

WORD COUNT: 3,522 words (goodness gracious)

INSPIRATION(S): “In My Blood” by The Veronicas, and “Crush U” by EXO-CBX, they’re both beautiful songs

AUTHOR’S NOTE: (it pained me to change this) happy belated birthday Lizzy! I apologise for my lack of time management and for this being late, I hope you’ll still like it the same.

but to focus on the positives, thank you for being such an amazing soul who saves my somewhat orderly sleep schedule and for listening to me ramble for hours on end. I hope you’re having a great day, and I wish you nothing but good luck for this year.

(also you keep getting prettier each time I see you like GURL HOW)

DEDICATION: to all fluff lovers and yes, to you, Lizzy, thank you for letting me scream at you on chat 24/7 you’re a beauty <3

(i keep screwing myself over by switching between tenses good lord)

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“AM I REALLY SO HARD TO LOVE?”

Jongin frowns at you, watching as you down another shot glass full of some strong tequila he could not place a name to. “Stop, Y/N,” you barely catch him over the loud music and cheers, “you’ve had enough. I should get you home now, come on–”

“He didn’t even tell me in person,” you yell, allowing the alcohol to singe your throat as you pick up another glass. “Four years and he chooses to leave me over text. That fucking asshole.” You tear up, but quickly wipe your tears away before they spill. Jongin’s expression softens and he opens his mouth to speak, but you cut him off. “Don’t you dare attempt to console me right now, I don’t need that.”

He shrinks in defeat.

“However,” you manage to grin, “I would like to see you drunk. Here,” you hand him a shot glass, giggling when his nose wrinkles at the strong scent. “Drink up, buddy.”

“No,” he pushes your hand away gently, shaking his head. “I’m driving, I can’t drink.”

You roll your eyes. “We live in the era of Uber and taxis, silly,” you hold out the glass to him once again, “get drunk with me. You keep looking at me like I’m about to break any second and I hate that. You’re wild when you’re drunk. So,” you raise the glass to his lips, “drink.”

“Y/N, I don’t–”

“Even with the hangover, I’ll get the car back. I promise. Drink, Nini,” you smile at the nickname, “and give me one last night to miss him before I forget him for good.”

Jongin knows himself when he is too far gone with alcohol. He knows he becomes brave with his feelings, allowing no filter to stop him. You put it well, he is indeed, wild when drunk. But he is quick to submit to the plea in your eyes, allowing you to tilt his head back slightly as he swallows the fiery liquid, gasping as he staggers slightly at the hit. He watches you grin in approval, eyes glistening as you hand him another glass.

This repeats and Jongin feels himself losing control with every glass he accepts, laughing when you laugh, swaying to the beat with you. He feels his restraint leave him as he studies you, smudged makeup and messy hair, in a dress you would always find uncomfortable and heels that prick at your feet. Eyes so vulnerable and lips with a tint he was fighting to resist.

“Dance with me!” You yell, giving him no chance to protest as you drag him to the dance floor, smirking when he responds to the music immediately. Watching Jongin dance is an enticing feat, his body is under excellent control and professional ease, moving smoothly to the beat with no faults. His eyes fall shut as your body follows his rhythm, the background fading away as you enter a world no one else can.

Jongin finds it difficult to pinpoint what it is about you that makes you so irresistible. He knows his courage is fueled by the alcohol coursing through his veins, but he’s clueless as to why he wants to pull you closer to him. Maybe it’s your dress. Maybe it’s the love he forces himself to repress, knowing you love another. Maybe he’s just tired of fighting it.

So he stops. He pulls you to his body, ceasing the movements of his body as he leans down, dangerously close to say, “Do you trust me?”

Maybe it’s his cheeks with their little tints of red. Maybe it’s his lips, inviting and mouthing words you don’t comprehend well. Maybe it’s his shirt with the top buttons undone, teasing a little show of his beautiful, tan skin, shaping so temptingly over his prominent collarbones. Maybe it’s the comfort of being around him, something familiar and unchanging.

You nod.

Jongin does not waste time, gently placing his mouth atop yours, moving slowly, gently, despite the thumping music around you. His hands loosely hold your waist but you quickly encourage him to stop holding himself back, tugging at his shirt as his pace quickens. He tastes of chocolate and strong tequila and you do not miss the smile he wears against your lips.

You lean forward to pull him closer, but he pulls away, pupils wide and panting. “Home. Now.”

Nodding, you stumble after him, grabbing your purse and coat, stepping out into the winter night. You manage to hail a taxi and pay the driver extra to drive quicker. He assumes you are in a situation of urgency, but does not comment. The second Jongin spots your apartment complex, he pulls you out of the car, tugging you towards the elevator, not giving you a chance to greet the receptionist.

As the elevator rises to your floor, Jongin feels hesitation hold him back. Is he taking advantage of you like this? Drunk and vulnerable? Would this encourage you to use him as a rebound? He decides he does not want to be a rebound. So, as you stumble into your apartment and lock the door behind you, Jongin speaks.

“Are you sure? Is this what you want?”

“It’s past midnight,” you slur, desperately seeking his embrace, “I’m done missing him. Less talking, Jongin,” you lean up and press a chaste kiss to the space below his ear, not missing the hitch of his breath as you say, “and more doing.”

Jongin knows better. He really does. But you stand before him, willing to take the risk and he feels his heart beg. He wants this so bad, too bad to listen to his logical mind.

So he closes the distance once again, fingers trailing down the nape of your neck to the zipper of your dress, sliding down.

And there’s just no going back now.

“How many tests have you taken?”

“Three.”

“And they all tested positive?”

You nod, hands trembling in Kyungsoo’s as the smaller sighs. “How did this happen?”

“I forgot to take Plan B,” you reply, now physically shaking. “Fuck, I should have taken it before I fell asleep, damnit Kyungsoo, what am I going to do? I’m not in a good place right now, I don’t want this child to suffer because of me.”

“Hey, hey,” Kyungsoo is calm and even manages a small smile. “You’re going to be okay. You are hurting right now, yes, but you are still the same; loving, caring, passionate and genuine. Whether you choose to keep this child or not, that will never change about you.”

“I should tell him. He needs to make this decision with me.”

Kyungsoo nods. “That’s a good idea. How long have you known?”

“Two weeks.”

The smaller chokes on his coffee, eyes widening in shock. “You’ve known for two weeks and haven’t told anyone?” You are quick to defend yourself. “I was panicking, Soo. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t know what to do, I felt pathetic and irresponsible.”

“You are not pathetic, Y/N.” He sounds stern but affectionate. “Don’t beat yourself up over this. Yes, it was irresponsible, but this does not make you pathetic. Remember, this child belongs to the two of you. You have a right to make a choice based on what you feel would be best. So think this through.”

You sigh. “I’m scared, Soo. What if he doesn’t want this child?”

“It’s Jongin,” Kyungsoo smiles, “how could he not?”

Jongin arrives five minutes late. He enters your apartment with a sheepish expression, apologising immediately. However, he is quick to notice your mood and says, “What’s wrong?”

You find it difficult to maintain eye contact.

“Sit down.”

He obliges, taking up the space beside you as his palm falls flat on yours. “Is everything okay? Did he come back?” You shake your head, heart clenching at the thought of him. “No. No, it’s about what we did recently.”

His expression grows heavy. “Look, Y/N, I–”

“I’m pregnant, Jongin.”

He stops.

He stares.

“What?” He sputters, eyes brightening slowly. “What did you say?”

“I’m pregnant.” You repeat. “I tested positive three times.” Your best friend’s smile widens as he leaps to his feet, unable to control his expression as he says, “I’m–I’m going to be a father?”

You nod.

He’s embracing you, laughter and squeaks of surprise filling the heavy silence in the air as he lifts you and spins you around, repeating the same phrase over and over. Only once he calms down do you say, “How are we going to survive? I just quit my job so i wouldn’t have to see him again. What I have right now should suffice for a while, but what happens when we run out?”

“We won’t.” Jongin assures. “We’ll figure it out. You are not working. You have a tendency to stress and overwork yourself to an alarming extent, and I’m not going to let that happen. Second, I know you’re still in the process of moving on, you don’t forget someone you loved for four years in two weeks. So, even though this child is ours, I’ll be your friend. And when you’re ready, when you can consider it, we’ll talk about it, okay?”

You glance up at him with teary eyes. “You’re willing to wait? This is your child too, I–”

“I’m not going to force you to love me because of this, Y/N,” Jongin’s smile is soft. “Even if it means this child won’t know who the father is, I’ll wait. Take your time. Whenever you’re ready, okay?”

“I don’t deserve you.” You whisper, feeling a tear roll down your cheek. “I’m so sorry.”

He’s quick to embrace you once again.

“Don’t be. You’ll heal. I know you will. And when you do, I’ll still be here. I’m not leaving you, Y/N. Not now, not ever.”

“Y/N?”

“Here,” you answer weakly, voice raspy as you flush the toilet, grabbing hold of the mouthwash as you lean over the sink. Arms wrap around your waist, loosely over the bump as a soft kiss touches the skin on your neck. “Come on,” Jongin spins you around, smiling. “Get back in bed.”

He’s tired. His eyes are sunken, shadowed with dark circles. His lips are dry and it is evident that he’s fighting to keep his expression. Your heart aches as you caress his cheek. “You need to get in bed too. Have you eaten?” He nods. “A coworker caught on, didn’t let me leave until I’d finished everything.”

You chuckled. “I like this one.”

Jongin grins in response. “You go lie down, don’t tire yourself too much. I need to get out of these uncomfortable clothes and wear something loose again.” You laugh and Jongin loves the sound, a sound he’d never tire of.

Days pass by, with the occasional visit from Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, Sehun or Junmyeon. The others are yet to seize a chance to visit, but they compensate with FaceTime and an aggravatingly glitchy Skype.

Jongin keeps up with you with astounding accuracy. He talks on days where you don’t utter a word. He holds you when you cry out for him, the one who left you behind and whispers words of comfort. His hands are gentle when you are in need of a massage and it is his soft, raspy voice, with gentle vibrato and hums in between that lulls you back to sleep on nights where you wake up in cold sweat.

You only see him crack the slightest bit during ultrasound appointments with your doctor. She was a wonderful woman, cheery and bright, never looking at you two in judgement once. After all, she could empathise excellently. “My child wasn’t planned either,” you remember her grin. “But he was the hope I needed to get back up again.”

It is evident to you during these appointments, Jongin dearly loves this child. It is momentary, but you catch him, glistening eyes and a shaky smile as he keeps his eyes on the monitor, hands trembling. And it hurts you. You want to love him. How could you not? He is constantly putting his pain aside to take care of you; making so many sacrifices on a daily basis. He is patient and understanding, funny and adorable, empathetic and loving.

You sigh. “If I’d just been a little brave in high school,” you chuckle, “this baby might’ve been planned.”

Jongin is due to be home any minute. You smile at the thought. He’s off work for the next two days, Seokjin makes for a wonderful boss and friend, being fairly lenient and greatly understanding. As you get to your feet, your phone vibrates. You pick it up, heart sinking to an indescribable depth when you look at the ID.

I miss you.

At first, you want to cry. Four months of silence, of missing him and wanting him back, of wondering and driving yourself insane and now he’s back. Four years of inside jokes and coffee dates, of late mornings together and long, lazy days, four years of what you assume had been true love. And then, the anger hits. Unrestrained and pure. Four months of low self-esteem. Four months of hurting your best friend and sometimes wishing the child could call someone else the father. Four months of insecurity, pain and sadness and he misses you now. You frown at the screen. “Four months,” you whisper, “you miss me after four months.”

You are quick to type.

Fuck off.

The reply is instant.

Give me another chance, baby, please.

The door opens and Jongin enters the apartment, grinning. “I’m home!” You meet his eyes. They are light brown, reminding you of hot chocolate and warmth on cold winter mornings, of matching ugly scarves and stylish snow boots. They hold their own sunrise and sunset. They are beautiful.

And it is a lot easier to make your choice.

Fuck. Off.

“Can Rachel please just get over herself already? Is she serio–oh for fuck’s sake, fuck off!”

Jongin laughs, shaking his head at you. “Just a character, angel,” his eyes are glimmering in amusement. “She’s just a character.”

“But she’s so unbearably bitchy! I hate girls like her, it’s Kim Tan who’s attempting to get her, why the fuck is she taking it out on Eun Sang? What kind of sense does that make? That’s so stupid!”

“And,” you raise a finger, “if her fiancé is looking for someone else even with the engagement, then she must be a pain in the ass.”

He cannot contain it, Jongin bursts out laughing, having to pause the episode to avoid missing anything. You manage a small smile, but your irritation is still present.

“I’m sure you’ll forgive her in the end.” You narrow your eyes at Jongin, who gulps. “You better hope that isn’t a spoiler, buddy, you know how I feel about those.”

He nods quickly. “Let’s just resume the episode, yeah?” He clicks play once again, hand disappearing into the Cheetos packet to pull out a couple. You pout, but do not comment, knowing his response. You know his response already and you begrudgingly agree. Your child needs proper nutrition and care, you are eating for two now after all.

For the duration of the episode, you find yourself looking at Jongin often. You observe his eyelashes, the subtle movements of his lips as he follows the characters on screen, the raise of his eyebrow at random, the small smile he allows at the cute scenes and the little flecks of Cheetos at the corner of his mouth.

It’s a simple sight, but one that has you questioning why you hold it so dear to you. He looks carefree, happier. The fatigue seems to wash away, and the colour returns to his face.

“Jongin?”

He turns to face you with an innocent, “Hmm?”

You respond with a soft kiss, pulling away mere seconds later. Jongin squeaks, and you laugh, saying, “That was a thank you for being so patient and wonderful. I truly am grateful.”

You don’t mention the flutter of your heart.

“I’m not wasting my words on him, Jongin!”

“Come on,” he whines, “that’ll give him the message once and strongly too!” You shake your head. “I’ve said all that I’ve wanted to say. He’s going too far. He’s attempted to find this apartment and he’s been pestering Baekhyun for weeks now. If he keeps trying, I’m going to report his ass.”

You glance at your phone screen and roll your eyes. Five months later and he’s still full of determination. Every month, a new text. I miss you or Why won’t you see me? or I know you miss me too. This time, it is:

Come on, can’t you see that I regret my choice? Why won’t you see me? I’m going crazy without you.

And it hits you. Your eyes meet Jongin’s and he grins. “Oh, you savage little doll,” he claps excitedly, “tell him! Tell him!”

You want to know why I won’t see you?

The reply is alarmingly quick.

Yes!

You smirk.

Because I’m pregnant, asshole and no, not yours. Bye now.

You see the typing bubble appear and rush over to settings to block his number, officially and effectively cutting him off. Your chest feels lighter. You want to get to your feet and cheer. Jongin is grinning. Your heart is beating.

And that is when you leave your ex behind for good.

“Kiss me.”

Jongin’s eyes widen.

“What?”

“Kiss me, stupid, it’s what couples do when they’re celebrating and get lost in the moment.” You grin and Jongin’s expression turns into one of disbelief. “Couples?” He sputters, making you laugh.

“I love you.” You know you’re being relentless, this is too many hits for him to take. But you feel it, it’s strong and it’s present, a love you should have never forgotten.

He squeaks again, in shock and you giggle. Leaning onto your toes, you use the extra height to kiss him, receiving a response immediately. Jongin sighs against your mouth, gentle and hesitant and you are lost in the feeling of falling in love once again, flutters and falling, but trusting him to catch you.

And then you feel it.

“Honey,” you pull away, hesitating. “I think my water just broke.”

“It’s okay, Y/N,” Jongin is in panic, wincing as your hand tightens around his own, “just one more push.”

“YOU SAID THAT ONE HOUR AGO!”

The nurse muffles her laughter as Jongin jumps, quickly pressing a kiss to you forehead. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles, “I’m sorry, I know it’s painful, but it’s going to be okay. Just keep pushing. Come on baby, you can do this.”

“DAMN YOU AND THOSE DANCER HIPS!”

Jongin turns red as the nurse quickly turns her laugh into a cough, eyes wide in amusement. This is your ninth hour of labour and you are ready for this baby to come out and never get pregnant again.

“Alright, you’re nearly there!” Your doctor encourages, raising her head to smile at you. “One more push, darling, just one. Push.”

“So when she says it,” Jongin mumbles, “you don’t get mad.”

“She wasn’t the one who didn’t use a condom, darling.” The nurse is unable to hold her laughter back this time as she turns away and you manage a loving smile. “I’m only joking, it worked out in the end, didn’t it?”

As Jongin nods, you use your last surge of energy to push and finally, the doctor retreats, holding the infant in her arms. There is momentary silence before cries chase it away, and you are in shock. Dr. Maya smiles. “A girl. And a beautiful one at that.”

You are unable to speak, choked up in sobs and emotion as you stare at your baby girl, eyes growing blurry. “Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?” Jongin nods, hands shaky as he accepts the scissors, following the instruction. “Stay with her,” Dr. Maya instructs, smiling. “We’ll be right back with your child. What do you want to name her?”

You nod at Jongin when he looks at you for approval. The name you have picked together. “Soomyn.” He answers. “Kim Soomyn.”

Until they bring her back, you fall in and out of sleep, drowsy but in Jongin’s embrace, mumbling incoherent nonsense as he hums softly, swaying gently. “She’s beautiful, Y/N.” His voice is shaky. “She has your eyes.”

“I’m glad she exists.” You look up at him, smiling sleepily. “And I’m glad she gets to call you her father.”

Jongin’s heart skips a beat. As he opens his mouth to speak, the nurse returns, handing Soomyn over to you as she speaks. “She’s going to be a beautiful girl when she grows up,” the woman’s smile widens. “She’s already so breathtaking.”

“Thank you.” You lower your head in response to her bow as she leaves the room, leaving you two, now parents, to admire your child.

“Marry me.”

You laugh, and despite the drowsiness, despite the fatigue and emotional rollercoaster you have been through, this is the easiest answer you have ever given.

“I would love to.”

this is me @ myself for being late:

I’M SO SO SORRY

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY

I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS

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josettessaltzman · 4 years

Note

hi ana! sorry to bother but i was wondering if i could enter the talk helps chat? i also wanna join the hosie chat but i'm very shy so i'm afraid i won't speak so much there like i did in a lizzie server i joined :c

Oh Mari is not a bother!! Ofc u can join the talk helps chat!! And i would be more than happy for you to join the hosie chat!! Trust me, everyone will welcome you there, i used to be shy too (i mean i am) but with hosies im wild lmao, i would love for u to join and slowly you will feel confortable trust me love!! Can i message you the links for both chats?

#mari #mutual #persephvne

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lifeofkaze · 3 years

Text

An Art of Balance #25

Orion Amari x MC

A/N: Julian Bennett belongs to the Queen of OCs @slytherindisaster, thank you for borrowing him!

Word Count: ~ 2.900

_______________________________________________

Chapter 25: Everybody Talks

By the time Lizzie was done tutoring the younger students, it was almost lunch time. She would have bet good money on the last two hours being the longest of her life; it had taken all the concentration she could muster to successfully transform her porcupine into a pincushion. The last thing she wanted was to make a fool out of herself in front of a few bored second-years, so she pushed the memory of how Orion’s lips had tasted like green tea aside for the time being.

She hadn’t really paid much attention to the futile transfiguration attempts of her students, rather letting them wave their wands about and chatting between themselves. Her own thoughts had constantly been returning to Orion’s words before he had left her.

Despite her emotional rollercoaster, Lizzie couldn’t help but huff thinking about them. He wanted her to ‘restore her balance’, of course he did. He made it sound like it was just about making up her mind, talking things out and all would be well.

As much as Lizzie wished he was right, she had a very distinct feeling that it wouldn’t be as easy to mend everything that had been broken.

She was so caught up in her thoughts, that she didn’t notice the raised eyebrows and sideways glances many people gave her on her way to the Great Hall, nor did she hear the quiet words and chuckles people were exchanging behind her back.

It was only when the crowd shuffling into the Great Hall thickened that Lizzie became aware of how the other students were looking at her. Some stopped talking when she passed them, expressions ranging from curious over amused to downright hostile, while some of her classmates clapped her on the back with a laugh.

At first she blushed furiously at the whispers of “Congratulations, it was about time,” and “I always knew there was more to you guys,” glumly contemplating how nothing in Hogwarts could stay a secret for long.

But when she was stopped by some grinning Ravenclaws with the words “Talking about keeping the enemy close, huh?” and “Getting Weasley’s mind off your next match seems as good a plan as any,” her embarrassment turned into bewilderment.

Thoroughly confused by now, she was almost glad none of her friends were anywhere to be seen. Rowan didn’t want to talk to her anyway and apparently she had claimed Penny as her confidante; Skye had probably gone back to bed and she knew Murphy took the day after a match to get his statistics updated. Lizzie had half hoped to find Orion at the head of the table, but knowing him, he was probably balancing on his broomstick out on the Quidditch pitch.

Not wanting to eat alone, she walked over to the Gryffindor table where Charlie sat with some of his teammates. A few of them started snickering as she approached, elbowing an exasperated Charlie into his sides.

Lizzie raised her eyebrows at their suggestive grins as she sat down with them. She knew most of them quite well; the lions were known for their speed in the air and she often went broom racing with them when there was no official practise.

As if on cue, all of them besides Charlie, who didn’t even look at her, got up, ready to leave the table. Julian Bennet, one of the Gryffindor Beaters and a good friend of Charlie and Lizzie both, bent down to his team captain and whispered something into his ear; as a result, Charlie’s freckled face went beet read and he shot Julian an angry glance.

Julian clapped Lizzie, who was totally at a loss of what was going on, on the shoulder before he followed his friends out of the Great Hall.

Blinking in confusion, Lizzie tilted her head in the direction of Charlie’s leaving teammates. “What was that about?”

Charlie only shrugged, however. “No idea, you tell me. People have been bugging me all day; apparently someone’s started the rumour we’re officially dating.”

Lizzie snorted at his words. “Well, that’s hardly something new, isn’t it?”

But Charlie didn’t seem as unfazed as she was; he looked more concerned than anything. “No, but the rumour of us making out at the Burrow and in front of your Common Room is.”

Lizzie’s laughter died in her throat and her eyes widened at Charlie’s response. “Can you repeat that?” she asked incredulously. “Who would spread such nonsense?”

“I don’t know where this is coming from either,” Charlie sighed, clearly unhappy with everyone believing their suspicions confirmed. His eyes fell to the surface of the table as he started playing with his napkin, studying her expression out of the corner of his eyes.

“There are other rumours going round as well, you know.”

“Really?” Lizzie didn’t look up as she poured herself a cup of pumpkin juice; her throat still felt as if she had swallowed a razor blade.

“Something about you and Amari?��

Lizzie should have expected the story going around sooner rather than later, but the jug she was holding almost slipped out of her hand anyway. “Oh,” was all she could answer.

Charlie raised an eyebrow. “So it’s true then?”

A grin formed on Charlie’s face as Lizzie’s cheeks reddened. “Come on, Snidget, spill the beans.”

She squirmed under his relentless gaze; she had never been good at keeping secrets from him. “We left the post-match party together and it just… happened somehow…” she answered him feebly.

A dirty grin tugged on Charlie’s lips at her words. “Don’t tell me you guys hooked up,” he laughed.

Lizzie nearly choked on her pumpkin juice. “Of course not,” she hissed at him through fits of coughing, “who do you take me for?”

“You could tell me, though, I wouldn’t judge,” Charlie teased her, only stopping when Lizzie smacked the back of his head with a warning glare.

He chuckled and rested his head on his hand as he watched her. “So, what now? Are you two a thing, or what?”

Much to his surprise, he saw the fire that had burned in Lizzie’s eyes just a moment ago flicker out. All of a sudden, she looked awfully lost and Charlie had to resist the urge to hug her; with the rumours running wild at the moment, he knew so much physical affection in front of everyone wouldn’t be something Lizzie would appreciate.

“I don’t know,” she sighed eventually. “Rowan caught us on her Prefect round. You can imagine how mad she was,” Lizzie put her hand onto her chest, absentmindedly running her hand over her hurting sternum. “She fired a jinx at me when I tried talking to her.”

Charlie’s hand dropped and he leaned forward inadvertently; he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “No way.”

She nodded sadly, looking so miserable that Charlie put his arm around her shoulder anyway; screw what the others were thinking.

“Oh Snidget,” he muttered. “I’m so sorry. That’s pretty much the worst that could have happened.”

Lizzie’s answer was interrupted when Andre slumped into a seat next to Charlie, mockingly fluttering his dark lashes at them.

“Aw, look at you little lovebirds,” he smirked; the grin was quickly wiped from his face, however as he saw the withering look coming from Lizzie.

As he felt her shoulders tense, Charlie immediately let go of her. “This has to stop,” he sighed. “We have to find out whoever is spreading this nonsense.”

The picture of Rowan emerging from the passage to their Common Room as Charlie had hugged her a few days ago suddenly flashed through Lizzie’s mind. Her jaws locked as she got up. “I might actually have an idea.”

Charlie looked up at her in confusion. “Where are you going?”

Lizzie straightened her shoulders, her bad conscience now overlaid with anger. “I’m going to set some things straight.”

She didn’t need to think twice where to look for Rowan. Their O.W.L.S were only three months away now – a thought Lizzie had gotten used to pushing away as far from her as possible – and Rowan had been stressing out about her workload for weeks.

Because of the beautiful day outside, the library was almost empty when Lizzie entered. The bright spring sun was filtering through the tall windows, flickers of dust dancing in the light. But the rays reached only so far as the first row of shelves, the dark wood and the dusty tomes swallowing it up, painting the vast room in a gentle twilight Lizzie found soothing.

She saw Rowan immediately; she was sitting at a desk at the far end of the room, surrounded by heaps of books. Thankfully, she had her back to the entrance, so she didn’t see Lizzie approach.

When Lizzie slipped wordlessly into the seat next to her, Rowan jumped in surprise. Her face fell as she recognised her, her arm quickly covering her parchment while she averted her eyes. But Lizzie had already seen the tears glistening in them, as well as the scroll in front of her still being empty.

Before she had the chance to say something, Rowan hastily snatched up her things and tried to leave but Lizzie caught her arm and pulled her down onto her chair again.

“Please Rowan, can we talk?” she asked silently. Lizzie flinched at the glare coming from Rowan but she held her eyes regardless.

“There is nothing we two have to talk about anymore,” Rowan answered; she had never heard her friend’s voice so acidic.

“Come on Ro,” she tried again more softly, “the longer we wait, the worse it’ll get.”

Something flickered in Rowan’s eyes at the use of her nickname; Lizzie was the only one to call her that, a subtle reminder of their friendship. But it was gone even more quickly than it had appeared.

Instead, Rowan’s attention shifted to someone approaching their desk behind Lizzie’s back. She turned around to find Madam Pince staring down at them disdainfully.

“I expected nothing else but unwelcome chatter of you, Miss Jameson,” Lizzie lowered her eyes in embarrassment, “but I’d have thought you would know better, Miss Khanna. Only because you spend all your free time in the library, you must not think the rules don’t apply to you. I was willing to overlook your snivelling,” Rowan flushed bright red, looking mortified, “but enough is enough. Out with you!”

Without allowing any room for protest, Madam Pince turned on the spot and strutted back to her desk.

Angry spots appeared on Rowan’s cheek as she rolled up her parchment and stalked towards the exit. Lizzie bit her lip as she hurried behind; it was the first time Rowan had been kicked out of her favourite place for something else than staying overtime.

Rowan put on a surprising speed and Lizzie felt faint when she caught up to her again; the last time she had properly eaten anything had been yesterday morning.

“Listen Rowan, you have to believe me, I’m so, so sorry about what happened.”

Lizzie was out of breath as she tried to keep up with Rowan, but the other girl didn’t spare her so much as a glance. Her eyes were fixed ahead as she clutched the book she had taken from library to her chest with white knuckles.

“Yeah, I could totally see how sorry you were last night,” she snarled without slowing down the slightest bit.

“I never meant for this to happen, it really wasn’t on purpose.” Lizzie knew she sounded desperate, the stinging in her sides not helping her find an even breathing; she felt horrible and not only because of her hangover.

“Sure,” Rowan snorted, but at least she was looking at her now, albeit only briefly.

Lizzie overtook her with some effort and moved in front of Rowan, effectively blocking her way. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, as much in defiance as to have something to hold on to.

“Come on, you hit me with spell; I think you owe me the chance to explain myself.”

“Owe you?” Rowan’s voice slipped, her eyes shooting daggers at Lizzie. Like always when she was agitated, she pushed her glasses up her nose; Lizzie noticed her hands were shaking. “I owe you nothing! You betrayed me! You’ve been lying to me for Merlin knows how long, you made me look like a lovesick little girl, gushing to you about someone you had wrapped around your little finger the whole time!”

Her face twisted into an angry grimace as tears started spilling out of Rowan’s eyes and while she still glared at Lizzie, Rowan’s whole frame was shaking from the sobs she tried her hardest to suppress.

Although Lizzie knew this was all her fault, seeing Rowan so distressed had her act on instinct. Like she had done so often before, she placed her hand on Rowan’s arm, but Rowan flinched from her touch as if she had burned herself.

Rowan took a step back, but she didn’t run anymore either; the empty, defeated expression on her face as she looked Lizzie up and down felt like an icicle being driven into Lizzie’s heart.

“Why him of all people, Liz?” she whispered, her nickname ringing hollow in Lizzie’s ears. “You could have had any guy you ever wanted; why did it have to be him?”

Hopeful their conversation might be getting anywhere after all, Lizzie’s face softened. “I don’t know; it just happened,” she tried to explain, “I didn’t plan for this either.”

“But you already have Charlie!” Rowan cried, anger rising again at what she thought was Lizzie excusing herself. “I saw you, remember, in front of our Common Room! Seems like you’re cheating people everywhere you go,” she added, her nostrils flaring with anger and disgust.

Surprised and more than a little bit hurt by her words, Lizzie was starting to get furious as well. “What you saw was Charlie comforting me after I had an emotional breakdown from all this mess,” she snapped back, “nothing more, nothing less. We’re just friends.”

Rowan rolled her eyes; she had heard Lizzie stress this point countless times and she had always believed her, but not anymore. “I don’t believe a word you say,” she jeered. “You didn’t tell me about snogging him the first time round, why admit to it a second time?”

“We didn’t snog, it was one single kiss! And we promised not to tell anyone,” Lizzie declared, frustrated at Rowan not believing her. “Funny you’d mention it, though. There are some awfully detailed rumours going around at the moment.”

Rowan straightened her spine. “Is that so?”

“Do you have anything to do with this, Rowan?”

Rowan’s eyes narrowed at the accusation. “I can’t believe you think I’d stoop so low as to spread stories about you and someone who was unfortunate enough to fall for your act.” Her voice had grown hard. “But perhaps it’s not undeserving to have everyone else see you for who you really are. I can’t believe it took me all those years to look behind your façade.”

She moved forward and pushed Lizzie out of the way. Struck by Rowan’s harsh words, it took Lizzie a moment to react; she contemplated just leaving her to her anger and be done with it. But while it would save her own pride, eventually, it would help neither of them.

So she took a deep breath, pushed the hurt away and followed Rowan to the Grand Staircase. She was waiting for one of the stairs to swing their way, giving Lizzie the chance to catch up with her.

“I’m sorry I suspected you, of course you didn’t start those rumours,” Lizzie sighed. “I just don’t know what to think anymore.”

“Great, at least we can agree in that,” Rowan answered coolly, her fingers impatiently tapping on the marble railing. The continuous sound made Lizzie nervous, but she tried not to concentrate on it.

“Is there any way I can make you believe that I didn’t mean to hurt you?”

The steady drumming of Rowan’s fingers stopped as she let Lizzie’s words sink in. She turned her head in a sharp motion, watching Lizzie’s expression closely. “There is.”

Relief flooded Lizzie at the prospect of cleaning the slate. “Anything.”

“If you really want to show me that our friendship is more than a bad joke to you, you can’t get into a relationship with Orion.”

The feeling of happiness disappeared in an instant as Lizzie blinked dumbfoundedly. A bucket of ice cold water in the face couldn’t have made her feel colder.

“What?” she croaked, her voice coming out more strangled than she had intended. “You can’t be serious.”

But Rowan’s expression didn’t even flinch. For maybe the first time since they’d known each other, it was Lizzie dropping her eyes from the determined gaze of her friend.

“I am, and there is no way around it.” Her head held high, Rowan stepped onto the stairs that had arrived; Lizzie was too stunned to follow her.

After a moment, Rowan turned around and looked down on her. “It’s either him or me; the decision is up to you.”

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #quidditch #orion amari #orion amari x mc #lizzie jameson #aob #art of balance #the quidditch squad

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