#A/N: why does Aziraphale get no love in my asks

[raz-writes-the-thing]

Bentley Shenanigans (Good Omens)

Crowley x Fem!Reader 18+ ONLY / requests are open and encouraged

Summary: Crowley needs to relieve some frustrations after that shitshow of a birthday party.

CW: vaginal sex, fingering, dirty talk, car sex, vague degradation/humiliation

Good Omens tag list: @coffee-and-red-lipstick @quickslvxrr @clarina04 @motionlessindoubt (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

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This was possibly one of the most shocking things you had ever seen. Crowley was wearing white. You’d never seen him in anything other than black and when he’d first come to pick you up after the birthday party, you had known something was different, but couldn’t pick what it was. It had actually taken you at least two solid minutes to realise that it was because he was wearing white. 

“What the fuck- you’re- what are you wearing?” 

Crowley glances at you as he pulls into the parking spot at the lookout trail and turns the car off. Sometimes the two of you came out here just to get away. 

“What- this old thing?” He chuckles, tossing his sunglasses onto the dash before sighing defeatedly. Oh dear, it wasn’t a good sign if he could barely keep his sultry demeanour going.

“I think,” he trailed off. “It is safe to say… that did not go as well as I hoped it would.”

You’re not really sure what to make of that, given that the balance of the world as you knew it hung squarely on Crowley and Aziraphale’s shoulders. Sitting quietly, you wait for Crowley to continue. 

“I mean, really- you wouldn’t have thought it would be that hard, would you? Fucking nuns, Pet. Useless, the lot of them.” 

Crowley pinches his nose and turns toward you, eyeing you up and down. Your dress has ridden up your thighs and you do not fail to notice the way he eyes you appreciatively. 

“Fancy a quick fuck?” He asks casually. You splutter on a response for a moment. Here you were, discussing how the end of the world was fast approaching in less than a week, and Crowley wanted to shag? You blinked at him. That wasn’t to say you weren’t interested, either, mind you. You definitely were, but, it was just a bit out of the blue was all. What did that say about you, you wondered… In the face of the end of the world, you’re thinking about getting fucked one more time. Hmm. On second thoughts, you think it might just mean that you appreciate the fun things in life. 

“Sure,” you say, cheeks pinking at the thought of him in that white coat bending you over and taking out his frustrations on you. “One condition, though.” Crowley’s brow arches, a sultry smirk appearing on his face. “The coat stays.” 

“Your wish is my command, love,” he replied. “Back seat, then?” 

You nod, shocked at the casual nature of this exchange. It wasn’t something you were necessarily unused to, but there was usually a little more pent-up energy and flirting beforehand. However, getting straight to it wasn’t a bad thing either. It was kind of refreshing, actually. 

You get out of the car and go around to the driver's side. Crowley opens the back door for you and promptly bends you over into the back of the car. You gasp, your hands reaching out to steady you on the leather seats. 

Crowley slides his hand up your sundress, exposing your black panties to him. He groans, gripping at your ass before letting go and giving it a rough slap. You jolt forward with the shock. Crowley tuts and grips you by the hips to drag you back towards him. 

His hips ground against your ass roughly, his cock hardening beneath his pants. You bit your lip, enjoying the roughness of his clothes against your almost bare skin. Crowley laughed, reaching down to rip your panties off you. You let out a sound of protest, though Crowley shushed you. 

“Fix ‘em later, promise,” he assured you before tossing the ripped remains of your underwear over your head and into the other door. Any further protests died before they even formed thought as his fingers slid down over the curve of your ass and sunk themselves into your tight, wet heat. 

You moaned, thighs twitching as he fingered you open. If you weren’t wet before, you definitely were now. 

Crowley removed the fingers once he thought you were wet enough and presented them to you to clean off. You did so without complaint or question, sucking his fingers into your mouth, tongue swirling over the digits to clean them of your slick. 

Crowley grunted, the other hand undoing his pants and removing his cock from its confines. Once he was free, he pulled his fingers from your mouth, giving your cheek a little pat. The feel of the saliva cooling on your skin- the dirtiness of it- had you clenching. 

“Look at that,” he groaned, pressing his head against your entrance. “Sopping for me, aren’t you? Filthy thing, you are, Pet.” 

You nodded, pressing back against him. His head slipped inside, causing you both to groan. You with impatience, and he with pleasure. Crowley’s fingers gripped at your hips harshly as he slowly sunk inside you. Once he was finally inside you, you were finally able to relax. Feeling so full up on his cock felt like your version of Heaven. 

God, Crowley made you so cock-drunk that it was ridiculous.

Then, your Demon started to move, hips snapping back and forth with fervour. It wasn’t long before Crowley was bent over you, yanking your hips into his own with every thrust. You were scrabbling at the leather, cheek sticking to the seat with the sweat. Loud moans and sharp grunts could be heard coming from the car, and you hoped that no one was on this particular walking trail today. 

Then again, maybe you’d like an audience. The thought had you biting your lip to stifle the groan, and you clenched around the Demon, who straightened up and wrapped a hand into your hair. 

“Fuck, that’s it-” he growled, fucking into you harder. “Reach down there and play with that pretty clit for me, Pet. Mm- like that.” 

Your fingers reached your clit, rubbing tight circles. You could feel the push and pull of his cock from within you, could feel as your slick creamed around him. You cried out in sharp pleasure as he slapped your ass cheek again. 

“Are you going to cum already, Pet? Huh?” 

You nodded, the motion pulling at your hair just that little bit more. Crowley laughed loudly, fucking into you harder. 

“Better do it then,” he warned. “Come on, cum for me, Pet.” 

Your fingers were lightning quick on your clit. Your thighs were twitching and struggling to keep yourself up from Crowley’s punishing thrusts. With a loud drawn-out moan, you came. 

Crashing waves of chaotic pleasure roiled inside you. Your fingers crushed themselves into the leather as you felt your release roll through your muscles. Your clit felt like it was on fire as you forced yourself to concentrate hard enough to rub yourself through it, contracting around Crowley hard enough to make him cum. 

He grunted from above you, hips stuttering- and then you felt it. His release coating your walls. You whined, grinding yourself back against him as he started to slow. Crowley gave your hip a warning squeeze, but you ground yourself back on him, pressing him in as far as you could to make sure not a drop of his seed escaped you. 

You sighed with relief, fingers slowing to a stop on your clit. Crowley was hunched over you, panting with exertion. 

You laughed, the endorphins starting to kick in. Crowley chuckled breathily against your back and pressed a kiss to the fabric of your dress. 

“That was fun,” you said, unsticking your cheek from the seat. 

“Mm-” Crowley grunted in response. “Aziraphale will be jealous.” 

You don’t think you’re wrong in thinking he doesn’t seem all that upset about making the Angel jealous. 

“I think you’re right,” you pant back, slowly starting to catch your breath now. 

“Alright, come on,” he says, picking himself up and slowly pulling out of you, shushing you comfortingly when you whimper at the loss. “I know, Pet. Come on, let’s get you back to the Shop, eh? The Angel will be missing us by now.” 

You groan and force yourself to stand up. Your walls clench to keep Crowley’s seed inside. 

“Don’t miracle it away,” you say, knowing that Crowley was planning to do so for your ease of comfort. “You know how Zira likes his seconds.” 

Crowley tutted at you, a smirk playing across his lips. 

“Naughty thing, you are. Whatever are we going to do with you?” 

You hop into the passenger side again, your muscles thanking you for the relief. 

“Guess we’ll have to find out, won’t we?” 

“Guess so, love.”

#good omens #gomens #crowley #crowley x reader #crowley good omens #one shot #aziraphale #smut #lemon #anthony j crowley #good omens fanfiction #fanfiction #crowley x reader smut #crowley smut #david tennant #crowley gomens #crowley x y/n #crowley x you #A/N: why does Aziraphale get no love in my asks #ya'll are Crol obsessed #i say as if im not one of you

[weirdmorefics]

How Are Hands Attractive? (crowleyxreader)

Pronouns-She/Her

Word Count- 1,078

Summary- Reader is a witch and close friends with Aziraphale and works at the bookshop restoring books. Aziraphale asks Y/n for romantic advice for Nina and Maggie which leads to interesting covo about Crowley hands.

The day was stormy there was hardly anybody out on the street because of the terrible thunder and lightning. I was peacefully sipping her cold coffee and restoring an old spellbook that Aziraphale found. The sound of the rain was very soothing and I did not have to worry about Jim short for Gabriel bothering me because Aziraphale told him bookstores are closed on Wednesdays. Aziraphale on the other hand kept interrupting my work so he could get my opinion on most romantic situations for Nina and Maggie.

"Y/n what do you think is the most romantic thing?" Aziraphale asks.

" I don't know. Hmmm maybe leaving me alone so I can finish restoring this book in peace," I respond.

"Seriously, Y/n the book can wait! This matter is of life and death! You are sort of human so you should know more about these things than I." He says looking me very seriously in the eyes.

I sigh and very gently move the book to the side. I take a deep breath " I have personally always found hands very attractive-"

Aziraphale interrupted "How can hands be attractive? They are just helpful tools. Books always say it's the eyes that are the windows to the soul."

"Don't get me wrong eyes are pretty as well but I have always enjoyed hands they help us create they help us hold on to each other. Why did you even ask me anyway if you're just going to think I am wrong. Also, I think we both know I lack any experience or knowledge on romance." I respond annoyed.

Aziraphale smiles at Y/n, "I guess I was just curious." Then his eyes light up like something just clicked in his mind. I think if he was a cartoon a light bulb would have appeared above his head.

"Y/n!" He gasps and I give him an inquisitive look. "You are always staring at Crowley's hands so does that mean!!!"

I quickly crossed my arms across my chest denying the accusation profusely.

Crowley enters the bookshop closing a soaked umbrella, "Who is always staring at my hands."

Y/n's heart nearly pounds out of her chest and she nearly knocks over her coffee.

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed-" I quickly cut Aziraphale off

I come out from behind the desk I was working at and take the umbrella from Crowley, "Don't tell me that you were outside in this weather with an umbrella you could have got struck by lightning."

Crowley lifts his glasses down to look ME in the eyes "Are you serious? A demon struck by lightning would do nothing compared to the heat of Hell."

"How should I know I've never been to Hell," I whine.

Crowley kisses the top of my head and says "And you never will."

Aziraphale smiles a plotting a smile that scares me for what he is planning. He cups his chin with both hands and tilts his head "Crowley what do you find most romantic? Y/n has been telling me what she finds most romantic to help Nina and Maggie. I can see she has quite the type. I think we might even know the guy."

Crowley's face seems to turn sour at Aziraphale probably at the notion of discussing romance so I try to assure him it is unneeded to chime in. "Please ignore him he has been like this all day. He has not let me get a single thing done today."

Instead, he completely ignores me and walks up to Aziraphale, "So what does this man that Y/n fancies have for qualities that make her swoon."

"No, I can't say that would be betraying her trust," Aziraphale puts a hand on his chest and makes a big show of it like he didn't just start this whole mess.

"Come on Angel we are all friends here! Right Y/n? What can you tell the Angel that you can't tell me," he pouts.

"You bring up a great point, Crowley! Y/n can certainly tell you about the man she fancies I don't see a reason she could not! Let me start off I know she loves this man's hands she is always staring at them it is so obvious." Aziraphael smiles brightly and if my glare back could kill he would be dead.

Crowley circles me like prey as if my answer could cure him from hunger. "I've never noticed our little sorceress staring at hands that's very impolite to stare you know."

He calls me a nickname he uses for me frequently as he knows it annoys me. "You know what's impolite to spill others secrets Aziraphale" I glare.

Aziraphale straightens his bowtie, "You never said it was a secret if you had I would not have said a peep. I am very good at secrets you know"

"The thing is I just don't understand why there is anything to hide from your good old pals!" Crowley interrupts. "Unless this guy is someone unworthy of our sorceress's heart. Then in that case Aziraphale would have a duty to tell me."

"Do not be concerned this man I have known longer than anyone. No one could compete with him he is very kind." He quickly assures Crowley.

Crowley started to look like that time when Aziraphale took Gabriel under his protection, "So he is an angel... those are the only beings you have known for the longest. I swear to Hell if it's Gabriel he is not kind Aziraphael you have no idea what he said to me when I was you! I can not believe you let him stay here! He is worse than any demon!"

I quickly put my hand on Crowley's shoulder, "It is not Gabriel I would never do that to you."

Crowley's eyes softened as he looked into your eyes but only for a second before they turned into confusion, "What other angel do you even know on a personal level!"

I saw no choice but to come clean, "It's you! You idiot!"

I took a deep breath to prepare myself for the heartbreak because I am no celestial being who will be around forever. I am just a witch I am really not that different from an ordinary human. But the heartbreak never came instead he held my face and kissed me deeply.

I was stunned speechless and he smirked "So you think my hands are romantic you say."

Bonus-

Aziraphael- Now both of you thank me! I also accept books as thank-yous Y/n has a list of the books of that I am on the hunt for! I also made photocopies of the list so you can carry the list with you at all times as a reminder.

Y/n- Shut up, Angel!

Crowley- Thank you, Angel

#crowley x reader #crowley x y/n #crowley good omens #good omens fic #good omens fanfiction #good omens imagine #good omens drabble #aziraphale x reader #aziraphale imagine #fanfic blog #good omens crowley

[novthewolf]

Two’s company, three’s a family - Part five

Summary : As a cupid, an angel of love, your mission was to make sure everyone was paired up with the right person. Yet you couldn’t get your two most ancient clients to finally end up together. And despite the 6,000 years spent on the case, you couldn’t bring yourself to give them up, oblivious to the reason…

Pairing : Aziraphale x Crowley / GN!Reader x Crowley / GN!Reader x Aziraphale (polyamorous relationship).

Parts : First - Previous - Next

Masterlist : Here

Warnings : foul language, mild nudity (chest), mention of s3x, drug mention, gun use, mild violence slow burn, english isn’t my first language.

Words : 4,4k 

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"Mmh... are... you sleeping ?" A very confused voice asked

"Nnh ?!" You shot up on your bed, feeling the blanket shuffle down on your legs. You tried to open your eyes in a panic before hissing when sunlight punched your irises. The curtains. You forgot the damn curtains.

"You guys gotta stop doing that... I have a door, you know." You rubbed your eyes.

It was Mihael. How nice of her to wait over night to scold you for your behaviour. You weren't naive; you knew Adriel would go complain to his friend. But you were smart enough to know she wouldn't say anything about it. It's been centuries since she learned you could actually feel. Yet she never said a word about it to Chamuel or Jophiel. You did not fully trust her, but she was okay.

"What is it like to sleep ?" Mihael was always curious, but she lacked the bravery to try. Whether it was food, walking, sex, or, in that case, sleep, to satisfy her hunger for knowledge and experimentation, she came to you.

"Mmh, peaceful.. I guess-" You looked down at your chest and decided you had enough that people kept catching you half naked. So you snatched up your tank top and got up.

"Just peaceful ? That's it ?" She jumped on through the window on your bed, shoes on. Ugh.

"Yeah, yeah, and... energised too. Listen, Mihael, why don't you tell me what you want ?"

Yes, you were a bit rude, but you just didn't have time; you needed to get to Aziraphale to discuss where the boy might be. And if you wonder, you never went to Crowley's flat. Risking being caught by unexpected visitors was enough of a reason to not visit.

"Right, right ! So..." She looked down, gloomy. "It's time, Y/N; we're going to unfold the Bound soon." She confessed with a sad smile.

You shuddered. Fuck. You forgot about that.

"You know, the four horsmen are being summoned, and we need to lay off the Love so War can fully step in."

"Yeah, I can't come into my full power..."

"Really ? Me too !" She chirped, delighted that you shared her point of view. You scoffed but smiled anyway. It's really a shame she'll never get to experience human life.

"So, now we must turn off the flow of love and go back to heaven to prepare for war."

You ruffled your hair and grabbed a drink of water. Mihael's piercing eyes were etched on the glass, and you handed it to her with a sigh. She looked so happy, you almost wanted to laugh. How selfless of you...

She didn't quite know how to drink, however, but you decided to let her test the water, so to speak. Mihael coughed a bit.

"Does that mean hate demons will rise too ?" You interrogated, your tone genuinely dull.

"Oh, they better not ! They'll have to wait for the battle to start, those worthless rascals..."

The cupid suddenly gasped and looked at you with guilt. You know she didn't mean to insult him. Your lip twitched, but you sent her a reassuring smile. Still, she couldn't shake the regret out of her scent.

"You know, maybe he didn't turn into a hate demon..." Her sweet voice faltered as she went on.

"It's fine, Mihael. You should go; I'm sure Adriel is waiting for you." You cajoled her while leading her to the door. Yes, you have a door.

"About that..." She stopped and turned around. Her dark pink eyes just scanned yours to convey what she meant. Not that she had to; you could smell the snowy nights from miles away. "Just be careful, Y/N."

Her advice kind of fell on deaf ears. You were always cautious, but you didn't live in fear of what they'd do to you if they found out you were out of line. Yet, they dread the simple thought of what you could be. You sloped against your wooden door. What a good way to start the day...

Calling off all Love so War can enter the picture. It just felt so contradictory. You were a being of love and peace; how could you be excited to see humans kill each other and fight in a war, possibly going against Crowley or... well, you knew who. You will not let this world be torn to smithereens. It's your safe place, your heaven. Your home.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

You strolled through the busy London streets, eager to get to Aziraphale as quickly as possible. A few people bumped your shoulders, stomped on your toes, and cursed at you. The withdrawal of love was already happening. Unsettled in an unwelcoming environment made you skittish, and you picked up the speed.

As you reached the bookshop, you stopped to analyse its not-so-familiar presence. The energy was angelic, yes, but it was so powerful...

Shit.

Archangels. And they were just leaving.

"Whoop- !" You activated your spell hastily. The chime rang, and the two entities simply walked off.

"No war, without war. Ah ! That's quite the line !" Grabriel almost yodeled. Right. You stayed there with heavy breathing.

Subconsciously, you called off the spell. Or maybe you didn't cast it in the first place. In any case, you didn't expect to feel the pressure of someone's hand on your shoulder.

"AH !"

Adding to the fact that your heart was about to explode just a second ago' the speed of your twirl did nothing to help you stay steady on your feet. Luckily for you, Aziraphale was alert enough to come to your rescue. He pressed his hand against your scapula and held you against his torso. You felt the side of your mouth twitch.

"I'm sorry, dear. I didn't realise how nervous you were." He jived, his cheekbones showing. But the smell of grapefruit told you you were not the only one nervous here.

"What did they want ?" You asked, feeling the ground with your own two feet again.

"Oh, they were just checking the status of the Antichrist." He opened the door for you and followed your lead.

"Why ? Did they suspect anything ?"

"Surprisingly, no. Not a thing." He shrugged in disbelief. You liked the scent of disbelief m: custard. Yes, just custard. Kinda hard to believe, heh ?

"Mh, Crowley's right... Heaven's not very bright, heh ?" You snickered. You sat on the couch and happily watched him chuckle.

"It seems so. It kind of makes me wonder if we are too." He took his place next to you.

"Oh no, we're bright." You started, glancing at him while pretending to reflect. "But we're also walking disasters.." You snorted.

"We can say the same about Crowley, then." He laughed and slid his right leg underneath his left thigh. You giggled and took a big breath of the new smell. Ah, freesia and blueberry pie; there's nothing better.

"Absolutely." You leaned back on the seat, literally comforted by the scent. "I just don't understand... What happened during the baby swap ?"

A few minutes pass. Minutes later, you just stared at each other. Before finally realising what might be the source of the problem.

"I think... I'm going to call Crowley reel quick-"

The ringtone of the bookshop's phone rang, interrupting you. Aziraphale quickly got up, with the help of his hand on your knee.

"Maybe it's him." He muttered while picking it up. "Hello, Fell's Bookshop, what can I do for you ?"

You waited for him. For a few seconds. Then you got bored. You left Eden at home, so you didn't have any company. So you decided to roam around the library.

"The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter ?"

The sculpture of a prancing horse proudly sat on a small table. You always had a lot of fun drawing the details with your fingers since the day he created his bookshop, which was also the first day you ate chocolate, if you remember correctly. You blew away the little dust that settled on his back, and flew right at you, making you cough.

"But there are..." He stopped to see what you were doing. You smiled, charming him up. His nose simply twitched before resuming. "There are no copies of her book available."

You stepped away from the horse and instead looked through Aziraphale's prophecy books. It has always amused me how humans try so helplessly to predict what the future holds. You were no stranger to the thought; you had your fair share of doubts about your own future. However, you learned what happens when you ask too many questions.

"I don't have it. Nobody has-" The sudden silence pushed you to study the angel's face. Apparently, the correspondent wasn't the most polite boy. His mouth was set in a hard line, and he stuck his nose in the air. He was so outraged that he reeked of watermelon and curry. You would agree that it's not a nice combination. Also, you hadn't noticed, but his glasses were quite fancy on him. You shook the thought away.

"Well, there really is no need for that kind of language." He hung up and put down his glasses. You couldn't help but stare for a moment. His bright, white hair caught the sun in its lock, giving him a glow to his already stunning face. Oh, stop already, will you ?

When you finally gawked back at the shelves, a huge brown spider welcomed you.

"Fuck- !" You yelled and fell back down with a loud thud, knocking a few books on your way. Azirphale gasped and sprinted by your side.

"Are you okay ?" He was very anxious. You were just embarrassed out of your mind.

"I'm fine... Let's just call Crowley already."

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"Hey, this is Anthony Crowley. You know what to do. Do it with style."

No, it wasn't the demon answering machine. It was just you mocking him. Which he didn't seem to enjoy.

"Haha, keep laughing, and I'll bring back the spider to your face." He growled. "Why are you afraid of spiders anyway? Aren't you supposed to love all animals?"

Aziraphale was such a snitch ! Right after he got Crowley on the phone, he told him about your fall. You very distinctly heard his laugh after that.

"Stop your bickering, you two! And watch the road." He sighed, not comfortable at all. He didn't like speed that much. Nonetheless, for his best, Crowley should be the one to drive. You might give him a heart attack if you were the one behind the wheel.

"You've lost the boy."

"We've lost him." He corrected.

"A child has been lost. But you still know his age." He started to point.

"We know." He once again corrected

"We get it: you don't want to be the only one responsible." You rolled your eyes. Congratulations! You earned yourself a growl.

"We know his birthday. He's 11." Aziraphale was trying his best to keep your attention.

"You make it sound easy."

"Well, it can't be that hard..."

"At least it reduces the search area." You flapped your hand. You were still frustrated, and you felt his discouragement slowly becoming yours. Your heart filter wasn't doing very well. We only have to find his birth record."

"And then what ?"

"Well, then we find the child." Azirphale smiled. At least you could feel his hope too.

"And then what ?"

Aziraphale didn't know what to say. He simply stared at Crowley. Until a car honk cut short his attempt to find a solution.

"Watch out for that pedestrian !" The angel bawled with alacrity.

"Woah- !" You shouted. The movement had you flying on the left side of the back seat. You've never so close to the goddamn door.

"She's on the street; she knows the risk she's taking." He dissmissed. "And I'm sure it would help you two stop breathing down my neck."

You scoffed.

Oh, I'll give you 'breathing down your neck.

You scooted over to the right seat and leaned behind Crowley. Your mouth grazed his ear, and you felt the tiniest tilt of his head, like he forced himself not to move. So prideful, you joked to yourself.

"Just watch the road." You breathed down his neck. You grinned as you watched gooey bumps form on his skin. He really hated it. You laughed and pulled back. You patted his shoulders and repeated yourself. "Watch the road."

Your laughter died out as you saw Aziraphale gulp. You took back your place in the middle, almost guilty.

"Sorry, I forgot about personal space again."

Crowley's sunglasses blocked your view of his eyes; you couldn't tell if you had overstepped. We can all thank Aziraphale for his help in easing the tension.

Where is this hospital, anyway? He asked. He rubbed his sweaty palm on his trousers in an attempt to calm his nerves. Crowley coughed.

"Mh, a village near Oxford: Tadfield. His neck was still tensed. You really strung a string, huh?

"Crowley, you can't do 90 miles per hour in central London !"

"Why not ?"

"You'll get us killed! Well, inconveniently disincorporated. He granted.

"Oh God, no, not the paperwork..." You got disincorporated once, and it took you two years to finally get a new one. Still, you're sure it had been improperly delayed.

"Music ! Why don't I put on a little music...?" He hummed quizzically and looked over at you. "Do you know the Velvet Underground?"

"You wouldn't like it." Crowley interjected.

"Well, it kind of feels like you've been high the whole time."

"Oh, bepop!" He recognised you. You eyed him in disbelief before nodding.

"... Right-"

"Yah !" Aziraphale yelped. Crowley did a swerve to the right, flying you away in that direction.

"Brute !"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

The air was stuffy. Like on a deeply hot day. It was overwhelming, too. As you left the car, you scanned around you, discretely sniffing the wind. It was not held in a constant flow of emotion; it permeated the air. But it felt good. It wasn't threatening in its presence; it just existed and belonged.

"Y/N ?" Crowley called out, standing in front of the manor gates next to Aziraphale. You studied the ark, made of bricks and white stone. The whole building was surrounded by metal fences, where you could at least see the central courtyard. Which seemed cluttered with a bunch of stuff.

"You're sure this is the right place? You wondered, doubtful.

You went to them, attempting to filter that particular emotion.

"It doesn't really look like a hospital." Aziraphale agreed with you when you got to their level.

But then it hit you. You gasped, like you'd been punched in the stomach. You grabbed the angel's arm to not collapse. That was so strong. You haven't felt such things in a long, long time.

"What is it ?" Crowley asked. You chuckled.

"It feels so loved." You gazed up. Aziraphale straightened your arm while he searched for it too. You pressed your hand to your chest. Your heart filter was giving you trouble, yes, but you sure as hell wouldn't complain about it.

"No, it's definitely the place. Crowley spoke, his tone faint.

"They're right..." He smiled at you, thrilled by the fulfilling sensation of love.

"Uh-hu... Sure, can we go see the nuns now ?" He led the way.

You scoffed. "Grumpy pants..." You followed in second.

Despite that, you looked at Aziraphale and giggled. You were glad to finally be able to share your joy without risking destruction for it. Immediately after, you three got shot by something.

"Argh !" For once, the three of you simultaneously exclaimed.

Crowley got hit inside his vest, right above the heart. In your case, the sharp pain was localised to your right hip. As for Aziraphale, the "bullet" struck his calf, making him hop on one foot for a second.

"What..."

You touched where the impact occurred and saw it was just... paint ?

"Blue ?" Aziraphale asked, ever-so-confused.

"Heh, yellow." You snorted. Oh, you've got red. You noticed Crowley's chest was covered with red paint. "One more, and we're Power Rangers.."

"Hey !" A nasal voice hollered. Crowley took one step forward in front of you and Aziraphale. The man in army clothing scoffed. What... are they doing out there? You saw the angel shuffle to see the state of his pants. "You've all been hit! I don't know what you think you're playing at-"

Crowley abruptly roared as his demon self and the whiny player fainted. "Well, that was fun." He smirked.

"Well, yes, fun for you. Look at the state of those trousers !" Aziraphale pivoted his leg for you to see. "I've kept them in tip-top condition for over 180 years now." Crowley started to circle around the both of you. "Oh, I'll never get this stain out."

"You could just miracle it away." You shuddered, saddened by his concern.

"Mmh, yes, but... Well, I would always know the stain was there." He explained, his tone brittle. You pouted with a smile. Ah, such pleading eyes ! How could you say no ? You twirled your wrist around, waving the paint away.

"Oh, thank you." You smiled and enjoyed the whiff of old books. The smell of thankfulness, if you wondered. You spotted the strange gun on the ground and picked it up.

"What a weird piece of hardware..." You enjoyed the design of it, actually. Might copy it, too. Replace the paintball stocking compartment with a crossbow flight groove and riser...

"Expert in the field ?" Crowley snorted before taking the gun away. "Don't your lot disapprove of guns ?" He asked and pretended to aim your way.

"Unless they're in the right hands," Aziraphale said, confiscating the weapon. "Then they give weight to a moral argument." His explanation seemed to amuse the demon, who had a big grin plastered on his face.

"A moral argument ? Really ?" He bugged the two of you. You were just thankful. Aziraphale took the subject into his own hands and just shrugged. He laughed a bit before walking towards the building.

"Come on."

Inside, a few posters and a board were displayed that showed the rules of "the paintball game". The reception seemed to also stock a few guns and helmets. Soon, they won't have to just play war... You heard the commotion through the window, plus a kindhearted "Fuck off" too.

"Charming..." Aziraphale mumbled to your right.

"Wonder where the nuns went ?" Crowley took a brochure from the little table on your left and inspected it.

"Any information about the former satanic maternity in that little paper of yours?" You teased. The demon forced a laugh before throwing the brochure away.

On your way, you encountered a young woman running your way.

"Oh, Millie from Accounts caught me on the elbow." She groaned. You ended up stopping diagonally. The angel bent slightly in front of her to check for a possible wound at her elbow. "Who's winning?"

"You're all going to lose." Crowley announced, since he was closer to her. He snapped his fingers, obviously operating a miracle. In an instant, the splashy sound of the bullets started to sound more like a machine gun than a fairly hurtful but still non-lethal weapon. The woman ran off.

"Huh..."

What the hell did you just do? Aziraphale snapped with frantic movements.

"Well, they wanted real guns, so I gave them what they wanted, he mused, visibly proud of himself. You followed right behind him. You couldn't help your incredulity and stared at him, mouth agape.

Once you got to a window, you and Aziraphale pressed against the window and saw barrels exploding, sparks, and dust everywhere.

"Crowley !" You stressed, running up to him.

"There are people out there shooting at each other. "The guardian lamented by your side.

"Well, it lends weight to their moral argument." He kicked a door, shattering glass in the process. Aziraphale joined his hands and fidgeted with his fingers.

"Everyone has free will, including the right to murder. Just think of it as a microcosm of the universe."

"Oh, don't try to lecture us, buddy !

"They're murdering each other." Aziraphale stood before Crowley, stopping him in his tracks. You joined him.

You saw Crowley roll his eyes, despite his glasses. "No, they aren't. No one's killing anyone; they're all having miraculous escapes. It wouldn't be any fun otherwise. He explained it before our pleading eyes.

You scoffed. You shared a knowing smile with Aziraphale. Sometimes, you forget that Crowley is actually a good person and are worried that he might harm humans. But he never did. Deep down, he really loved humankind. In a teasing mood, the two of you started to walk away in front of Crowley, discussing his case.

"Aah, what a softie." It was a real claim. One thing that the demon didn't particularly appreciate was that you felt him boil in your back. Aziraphale nodded.

"Of course. I've always said that, deep down, he really is a nice guy. He began, but gasped instead.

Well, both of you did.

Crowley had suddenly roared and seized you by your collars. He roughly pulled back, colliding both of your bodies against his. You stumbled back; your head clued his upper chest. You grabbed on to his waist to not fall. Aziraphale had landed a bit higher, at neck level, and was able to meet his gaze. He also stood approximately straight, while you were quite curled up against Crowley.

"Shut it ! I'm a demon; I'm not nice! You felt his voice rumble in his chest. You gulped. You weren't scared by any means, just... mh, troubled? "I'm never 'nice'. Nice is a four-letter word. I will not have-"

"Excuse me, gentlemen ?"

The pair both turned their heads towards the professional voice. All you could do was try to nuzzle your way up Crowley's arm to peek over the black vest.

"Sorry to break up an intimate moment. Can I help you? She slowed down, and Crowley had time to recognise her. You gazed up at him but couldn't quite make out his expression. Nor his smell.

"You." His grip loosened. You helped yourself back up with the help of your stretched-out arm. You saw Aziraphale analyse Crowley's expression.

"Saints and demons preserve us; it's Master Crowley-" The woman with short hair stepped back. She didn't have time to flee, however, as the demon snapped her in place.

"You didn't have to do that; you could have just asked her. Aziraphale scolded him while fixing his suit. Crowley opened his mouth wide and made an offended sound. Alright, let's not discuss what just happened, then... You felt the angel's hand dust your shoulder swiftly.

"Of course, of course ! No. Yeah. 'Excuse me, ma'am, we're three supernatural entities just looking for the notorious Son of Satan. I wonder if you might help us with our inquiries." He spat and flashed his teeth in a scornful manner.

"Of course, of course ! No. Yeah. 'Excuse me, ma'am, we're three supernatural entities just looking for the notorious Son of Satan. Wonder if you might help us with our inquiries ?'" He spat and flashed his teeth in a scornful manner. You shot him a disapproving look but didn't say anything.

You walked up to her and let Aziraphale do the questioning.

"Mh..." He coughed, unsure. "Look... hello." His smile was always so sweet. You breathed a laugh and shook your head at your proximity. "You weren't, by any chance, a nun here at this convent 11 years ago, were you ?"

"I was." She acquiesced, completely transfixed.

"Mmh, luck of the devil." Eyebrow raised, you looked at Aziraphale, who had quite the cocky little smile on his face. You glanced at Crowley and held yourself back from snorting at the sight of your shared experience.

"What happened to the baby that was given to you ?" You asked.

"I swapped him with the son of the American ambassador. Such a nice man." You caught the smell of sun-soaked sand. You couldn't help but smile when you felt how fond she was of the memory. "He used to be the ambassador of Swindon." She added.

Honestly, you were relieved you found as much confusion on their faces as you felt. Crowley shrugged and shook his head, showing that he had no clue what the fuck she was talking about.

"Then Sister Theresa Garrulous came and took the other baby away."

"This American ambassador—what was his name ? Where did he come from ? And what did he do with the baby ?" The demon snarled, his red hair flying everywhere.

"I don't know."

"Records." Aziraphale insisted. "There must have been records." He gestured for her to continue.

"Yes. There were lots of records. We were very good at keeping records."

"Good; so where can we find them?" You questioned.

"They were unfortunately burned in the fire."

Crowley groaned and threw it back in pure annoyance. "Hastur !"

Aziraphale queried again.

"Is there anything you remember about the baby?"

"He had lovely little toesies-woesies." Her response brought a smile to your face, matching Aziraphale's. Crowley obviously had enough and took off.

"Let's go."

"You will wake, having had a lovely dream about whatever you like best. He miracled. You added a good memory orb discreetly for good measure.

"Oi." Crowley called.

As you approached outside, the sirens overtook all sound, and you saw dozens of policemen evacuating the players and taking their rigged weapons.

"You'd think he'd show up, wouldn't you ? You'd think we could detect him in some way." Aziraphale notified. He waved away a bit of smoke.

"He won't show up. Not to us. Protective camouflage." Crowley reached behind your back and pulled on Aziraphale's arm firmly, dragging you along. A bullet zoomed to your right.

"He won't even know it, but his powers will keep him hidden from prying occult forces."

You were nearing the exit, and the air felt heavy in your lungs. The stress you felt was really increasing as the trail of the investigation plummeted. Plus, the fact that love was slowly disappearing was freaking you out of your mind. You felt a constant pull trying to get you back to heaven, where all the love was stored away. Everything was just too nerve-wrecking for your dysfunctional little heart.

"Occult forces ?" You heard Aziraphale's question.

"Well, you know, us."

You watched the angel's features contort into perplexity.

"We're not occult." Crowley sighed at his objection. "Angels aren't occultists; we're ethereal."

You didn't know what it was. Maybe it was the pressure of it all, or just the fact that Aziraphale still at to make such shallow precision, but you giggled quietly at first. The more it grew, the more it alerted the two entities. It was apparently communicative since they also started laughing softly. You continued to joke on your way to the car. You took you regular seat back, and smiled foundly as the two in the front.

Yeah, Armaggedon was bad. But at least you didn't have to face it on your own.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Hard day for Y/N, I hope you won't get any bruises ! ;)

If you have any question about your character (yourself in a sense), I'll do my best to answer without spoilers ^^

Hope you enjoyed it ! Bye !

Parts : First - Previous - Next

Tag list : @legendary-maddie @kpop-athena @drugs-for-memes @emo-queer-boi @cunning-girl @mochikofi @brain-has-left @cup-of-tee007 @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek @somekale08 @liyacreate @msyolocat-blog @scoliobean @notahappystan @nebulagoddess @ray-rook @brain-has-left @mxxny-lupin @bluebear19 @yvonneeeee  @kniselle @dmitrytherat @lookingforlifeoutthere @neenieweenie @lunalixya

#crowley x reader x aziraphale #good omens #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale x reader #crowley x reader #david tennant #micheal sheen #neil gaiman #ineffable husbands #good omens s2 #twoscompanythreesafamily #lgbtq

[ticklishfiend]

A Plan Fit for an Angel (Good Omens)

(Lee! Aziraphale/Ler!Crowley) (brief lee!crowley/ler!aziraphale)

Summary : Crowley’s dignity was positively shattered being tickled by Aziraphale two weeks ago. Well, only one way to fix that: getting revenge. [see part one here! this is a sequel]

a/n : i lobe them sm

Word Count : 3626

hope u enjoy! :)

. . .

There are two types of demons: Those that like to strike as soon as they see their target, and those that plan their evil-doings methodically, thinking out every angle so they can strike their prey when they least expect it.

It might shock some to find that Crowley tends to lean more towards the latter.

It had been two weeks since Aziraphale had pestered Crowley with those god-awful jokes, relishing in his demon’s irritation. Two weeks since Crowley had been tickled into the couch cushions so Aziraphale could win an argument.

So for two weeks, Crowley has been planning.

And planning for Crowley doesn’t mean he just thought real long and hard about how he’d make his move. No, planning requires research. Lots and lots of research.

Tickling isn’t something Crowley would call a regular occurance between the two of them. Yes, it happens, has happened, but if you were to ask for something defining that they do together, tickling would be quite low on his list, if it made it there at all.

So maybe, before he strikes, he’ll need something of a…refresher.

Aziraphale stood in the bookshop’s tiny kitchen, making himself a cup of tea. Crowley stood at the doorway, wondering if his angel knew he was there.

“I know you’re there, yknow?”

Ah. So he does.

Doesn’t matter. He knows Aziraphale will continue to read through his book on the counter, waiting for his water to heat in the kettle like Crowley wasn’t even there. He was too comfortable in Crowley’s presence…making him far easier to attack.

So Crowley sauntered behind Aziraphale, miracling up a feather from his wing. He heard a page being flipped.

“Whatcha readin’?” Crowley asked, before placing the feather under Aziraphale’s shirt without having to move a finger. Real magic truly was the best thing since sliced bread (trust him, he was there when it happened, sliced bread was quite the invention for the time).

“Oh it’s a lovely book, I’ve read it many times but somehow I keep coming back to it. Georgette Heyer’s ‘The Black Moth.’ Quite a page turner; it takes place in 1751, during the—AH-!” Aziraphale flinched, his right arm gluing itself to his side.

Crowley smirked behind Aziraphale, still looking over his shoulder at the book. His finger waggled near Aziraphale’s coat, a magic tether traveling from it to the feather. “What was that, angel?”

“Er, nothing I just—well I think there may be something in my shirt. I do hope it’s not a bug,” Aziraphale said, before snapping his fingers. A feather floated down onto the pages of his book. A black feather, to be precise.

Aziraphale clicked his tongue. “I see.”

“How peculiar,” Crowley grinned. “Wonder how that got in there?” He walked right out of the room to avoid further accusations, all of which would probably be correct.

Stage one: complete.

Now onto stage two. Snake time, baby.

Crowley very rarely switched to his snake form these days. Really no need, plus any time he did he was usually beaten within an inch of discorporation by a horrified human. So no, he doesn’t typically take his snake form anymore.

But occasionally, when he’s feeling rather…well, one might use the word clingy (Crowley detests such accusations), he’ll be a snake for a few hours just for the excuse to curl up on Aziraphale’s lap while he reads.

This usually embarrasses Crowley, not exactly one open to admitting his love of cuddles and pets and head scratches. Which is why he’s especially excited about snake time today, since he’s getting to embarrass Aziraphale this time and not the other way around.

He’d taken his form around 20 minutes ago, giving himself time to adjust to the change and alert Aziraphale of his body today. When he heard, Aziraphale went and made a cozy spot for himself on the couch, beginning to read his book. It was a silent code to Crowley that Aziraphale was ready for cuddles whenever he was.

It was no surprise when Crowley slithered his way onto the couch, his now curled body finding purchase on Aziraphale’s lap. The angel got to petting, resting his book along the serpent’s scaled back. He scritched softly at Crowley’s head, running his hand down the length of his now much longer body.

Crowley almost got lost in the comfy-ness of it all when he felt Aziraphale stray too close to his underside, a sensitive area on both of his bodies. Ohohoh, the plan, yes right, I’ll get on that now.

With the sneakiness only a serpent could possess, he slowly moved his tail around until he found the area buttons can’t close up on Aziraphale’s shirt, and slithered his way in. Bingo.

He only allowed himself about an inch’s worth of entry, can’t get too confident now. He waited a few moments, listening for Aziraphale to stir or speak up. He didn’t move, though, so that’s a good sign. Now he can strike.

Crowley fluttered his tail back and forth, like a rattlesnake in slow motion. Aziraphale huffed.

“Is that you down there?” He asked, voice a little wobbly like trying to hold something back. Got ‘em.

“Is what me?” Crowley said in his tired, I’m-far-too-comfortable-to-care voice.

“It is you!” Aziraphale let out a giggle through his words, moving Crowley around in his lap to stop the incessant tickling that was still taking place on his lower belly. “Aha-! Crowley, stop!”

“I really don’t know what you mean,” Crowley yawned. “And stop moving me, m’comfortable.”

“I will not!” Finally, Aziraphale found the end of Crowley’s tail, pulling it out of his shirt and readjusting Crowley in his lap. “Now you stop that or I will be putting you off to the side.”

Crowley huffed, his body adjusting under his head in a way that almost looked like his head was laying in his arms. “Whatever. Didn’t even do it anyways. Punishing me for something I didn’t do? Now that’s just cruel.”

Aziraphale rolled his eyes, going back to petting Crowley while fixing his gaze back on his book.

Well, he really didn’t wanna risk ending this. Might as well enjoy it and plan for the next stage in his great scheme.

Which, as it happened, took place the very next day, snake Crowley no more.

Aziraphale sat on his favorite chair, listening to a record he recently bought at Maggie’s shop. He was the picture of content.

Crowley was bouncing on his heels ready to ruffle the angel’s feathers.

“Mmyes, some good ole’ Stravinsky. Rather liked that guy, with the whole y’know, riot debacle,” Crowley made his way around Aziraphale’s chair, leaning against its back. “Great fun that was.”

“Yes, that was a rather difficult event. I was there, you know, but I truly was only there to see the show,” said Aziraphale.

Crowley hummed, having heard the story before. He looked at Aziraphale’s ear below him, giving a puzzled look.

“What’s that in your ear?”

Aziraphale furrowed. “My ear?”

“Yes yes, there’s something in your ear.”

Aziraphale’s hand shot up to feel around his ear, “Where?”

“No you—you’re missing it, it’s nothing but a piece of fuzz, I think. Here, let me-“ He shooed Aziraphale’s hand away, before using his pointer to gently prod and scrape along the shell of his ear.

Aziraphale’s shoulder shot up. “Aha, wait, wait—there’s really no neheheed-“ He batted at Crowley’s hand, but couldn’t dissuade him.

“No seriously, I can get it if you just give me a moment-“ he wiggled the finger, and this time Aziraphale shot out of his chair with a quick giggle before turning and giving Crowley a pointed look.

“You’re messing with me,” Aziraphale straightened his coat before giving his ear a quick scratch. There was a smile small on the corner of his lips.

“Now why would I do that?”

Aziraphale shot him a look, “I’m not sure, but I know that’s what you were doing.”

Crowley walked toward Aziraphale until they were eye to eye. “I wouldn’t dream of it,” he said, before walking out.

Stage three: complete, but Aziraphale was definitely onto him now. Time to set the real plan in motion.

Like it started, Crowley’s plan took place in the back room, wine in each of their hands as they talked and bickered and laughed with each other.

After having made Aziraphale laugh at one of his favorite stories to tell, Crowley smiled and remembered. Admittedly he had gotten a bit tipsy and nearly forgot about the whole thing until he saw his angel folding over in laughter just moments ago. Made him remember what this was all for.

He glanced over at the desk, noting Aziraphale’s current book having a very familiar bookmark peeking out of its pages. He had actually noticed this days ago, but was waiting until now to bring it up. Clever demon, he thought.

“What’s that there in your book?” He gestured lazily at it, sitting up like it was of great intrigue to him.

“Oh that’s…” Aziraphale looked at the book, like it was the first time he’d noticed it there. “Well, it’s my bookmark, of course.”

“Mmyes obviously it’s your bookmark. I meant what is it, exactly? Cause I don't know if I recognize this one.”

Aziraphale looked a bit flustered. “Erm, well it’s…it’s a feather, actually. But it works just as nicely as a bookmark.”

Crowley hummed. “Aren’t your feathers white, angel?”

Aziraphale looked without words for a moment (oh how Crowley just loved flustering his angel), before straightening his back with newfound confidence. “Well I didn’t say it was my feather, did I?”

“No, you’re right, you didn’t,” Crowley said, resting his chin in his palm as he relaxed over the arm of the sofa. Sometimes he likes letting Aziraphale think he’s won before pulling the rug out from underneath him. “Is it mine?”

Aziraphale was definitely blushing now, but he stayed on guard. “Yes, it is. You…put that blasted thing in my shirt the other day when I wasn’t looking. When it fell into my book I…well, I didn’t have a bookmark before and then I did. It’s really as simple as that.” He smiled at Crowley all clever, taking a sip from his wine.

Crowley gave Aziraphale a puzzled look. “You think I put that in there?”

Aziraphale blinked. “Well obviously. You’ve been messing with me for days.”

Crowley smirked. “Have I now?”

Aziraphale glared at him. His eyes were a bit squinted, very suspicious. “What are you doing?”

“I’m not doing anything. You’re accusing me of something I have no recollection of. I’m just asking how you think I was messing with you,” said Crowley, thinking ‘that’s right, lure him in.’

Aziraphale hesitated, like treading over thin ice. “…you’ve been teasing me, and you know it. You—you’re doing it now!”

Crowley couldn’t hold back his grin anymore. “I mean, can you blame me?” said Crowley before standing abruptly. He took a swig from the bottle, wiped his mouth with his sleeve, and sat it hard against the table. “You messed with a demon angel. You never mess with a demon.”

Aziraphale’s eyes widened. He set himself back further into his chair, hands holding onto the arms.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Ohh, don't act all innocent now. You were quite the tease a couple weeks ago, as I remember,” Crowley pointed a finger at Aziraphale, who actually started…grinning.

“You’re still worked up over that, aren’t you?” Aziraphale asked, a clever smile taking him.

“No—no, that’s not what I mean-“

“Oh I’m sure. But you can’t really deny that apparently, you’ve been thinking about this quite a lot,” Aziraphale looked as smug as ever.

Crowley was admittedly a little stuck for words at the moment. His mouth formed around rebuttals but they never made it past his throat.

He growled before rushing over and grabbing Aziraphale by the lapels.



“Maybe so—but only because I needed to plan out exactly how I was going to get you back,” Crowley growled, grip tight on Aziraphale’s coat. He liked how nervous the angel suddenly looked. “Like I said, angel. You don’t tease a demon.”

Crowley let go of him, walking back and almost pacing in thought. He waggled a finger in the air, “But I can’t do it now. No, no you’re expecting it now. I’ve gotta get you when you’re totally off your guard,” He plopped himself back down on the couch, pointedly not looking at Aziraphale.

“So…you’re not tickling me now?” Aziraphale raised a brow his way, taking a slow sip.

“No, I’m not.”

Aziraphale shrugged, placing his glass on the table. “I’d let you.”

Crowley paused. He looked at Aziraphale like the angel had grown an extra arm. “You’d let me?”

“Well, yes. I don’t actually hate being tickled. You just keep doing it when I’m in the middle of something, or I’m trying to relax,” he said, which was the last thing Crowley was expecting. “If you just asked I’d be happy to oblige.”

Crowley was near seething. He wasn’t actually mad, just utterly irritated by how nonchalant Aziraphale could be about the whole thing. Crowley was beyond embarrassed when Aziraphale tickled him the other week. How could someone not be embarrassed by it?

Crowley shook his head, “It’s the principle of the thing. You tickled me when I wasn’t ready, I’ve got to do the same back,” Crowley took a much needed swig. “S’how revenge works, angel.”

“Be my guest then. I’m happy to wait,” Aziraphale grinned, so pleased with how quickly things had turned in his favor. Sure, he was still going to get tickled eventually. But now he knows the real context.

Crowley was still so flustered over his little tickle attack the other week, that he had been meticulously planning on how to get Aziraphale back just to regain his dignity. He couldn’t deny how adorable that much effort and thought was.

Crowley grumbled, throwing his head against the back of the couch. “Grrrrbut it’s not as fun now,” he slumped. “Now you know it’s gonna happen. Shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Yes, maybe you shouldn’t have,” Aziraphale said. “Because now, once you do tickle me, I’ll have no choice but to tickle you back immediately after.”

Crowley gaped at him, actually letting out a low chuckle. “Oh really? Well that’s not fair, is it? Supposed to be tit-for-tat, don’t you think?”

“No, no I don’t think so. See, it doesn’t affect me nearly as much as it does you. That’s the fun in it.”

“It does not affect me. S’just not right for a demon to have such a weakness. Makes sense when you’re an angel, s’why you don’t give a shit.”

“I’ll have you know it’s perfectly normal for a demon to be ticklish. I tease you for it because it’s fun, but it’s not like you can help it. It’s your vessel, dear. And it’s a vessel I think you should take much more pride in than you’re giving it right now.”

Crowley just grumbled again, not really having a good response. He knows he can’t help it, but it’s still so…weird. It’s not just because he’s a ticklish demon. It’s that he’s a ticklish demon who actually finds it a little bit fun when his angel is the one tickling him. That’s the part that’s got him all screwy.

But it’s not like he could just say that.

So he stewed for a bit, thankful for Aziraphale allowing him his stew time in peace. The angel sat contentedly, sipping on his wine and basking in the lovely tension their bookshop always seemed to hold.

Crowley stewed and stewed. Pinching his lips together, sipping on the wine, reaching over and filling Aziraphale’s glass when he realized it had gone empty. But he had to say something eventually, because obviously Aziraphale wasn’t going to speak first.

And also because he kind of still wanted this to happen. Just a little.

“Fine.”

Aziraphale looked up. “Fine?”

“Yes, fine, whatever, just get over here and let me get my fffffucking revenge already.”

Aziraphale grinned, already beginning to stand. “I thought you said I couldn’t expect it when you get your revenge?”

“Oh that’s still gonna happen,” He smiled as Aziraphale sat next to him, the demon already crawling into his space.

“You do remember I’m getting you back as soon as you’re done, right?” Aziraphale said with a nervous titter in his voice, backing up towards the arm of the couch.

“Yeah I know. Guess that just means I’ve gotta make this count,” Crowley said as he fully closed in on Aziraphale, cornering him into the couch. He just hovered, for a moment, his hands floating over Aziraphale without touching him.

Aziraphale swallowed. “Well…?”

Crowley grinned. “Well, what?” He wiggled his fingers, and Aziraphale tittered anxiously.

“Are you going to…?”

“Can’t say it now?” Crowley’s eyes were devilish as he smirked. “Is someone getting nervous now that I’ve got him cornered?”

Aziraphale rolled his eyes, a meek attempt at confidence over the situation. His slight squirming and tight lipped smile gave him away. “No.”

“No?” Crowley asked, before jerking his hand down near Aziraphale’s side, laughing at Aziraphale’s flinch. “I haven’t even touched you!”

“But you’re going to!” Aziraphale practically whined, a ghost of a giggle lacing his voice. “Just get on with it, I’m not sure I can take this.”

Crowley smiled genuinely. “Oh alright. But just because it’s you.”

Finally, after waiting oh so patiently for this moment the past two weeks, Crowley struck. He went straight for Aziraphale’s sides, thankfully unguarded since the angel had taken his vest off hours ago. Aziraphale yipped, trying to hold in his laughs for a brief moment before falling into those angelic cackles Crowley could eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

“AH! Ahaha—Crohowley!” he laughed, sliding down unconsciously and only stretching his body out more for Crowley. “Wahahait!”

“Oh no, I’ve done plenty of waiting recently,” Crowley said, delivering sporadic pokes up and down Aziraphale’s torso, the angel’s cackles shooting up as he did so. “See, s’not so fun when it’s you getting tickled, huh?”

“It’s fuhuhun! Just—“ he was cut off by his own loud laughter as Crowley shot his hands into his armpits. Arms slammed against his sides, twisting and turning every which way because it was just too much. “—tihihickles!”

Crowley chuckled, ecstatic. “Bet it does,” he said, pulling one hand out from its trapped state in Aziraphale’s underarm to reach up and give his ear gentle scratches. Aziraphale squeaked, a hand shooting up to protect the ear. Seeing the opportunity, Crowley shot his hand right back under his arm, and Aziraphale shook his head through his laughter and shock.

“Nohot fahahair!” Aziraphale blushed, unsure of what to do with his hands. He opted to batting them around uselessly.

“You’re playing with a demon, angel, what did you expect?” Crowley said, before taking both hands out to squeeze, pinch, poke, prod and scribble all over Aziraphale’s tummy.

Aziraphale’s laughter was all over the place now. It was like he couldn’t decide whether to give deep, belly laughs or squeals and giggles fit for his angelic persona. The tips of Crowley’s ears grew warm at the sound.

“This is hysterical, by the way,” Crowley laughed, pinching Aziraphale’s hips and watching as he barked a laugh, twisting and gripping onto Crowley’s wrists. “I mean I knew you were ticklish, but this is priceless.”

“You’ve made your point!” Aziraphale giggled out helplessly. “I gehehet it! It’s bahahad! It’s sohoho baahahad—!” He fell into a giggle fit that made it impossible to hold a conversation, wheezing pitifully.

“I could keep going, yknow. Show you actual demonic torture,” Crowley grinned when Aziraphale shook his head, cheeks plump and pink from mirth. “Say you’re sorry and I’ll consider it.”

Aziraphale slapped Crowley’s arm playfully. Crowley poked softly but quickly over Aziraphale’s torso, easing up on the tickling just enough for him to get some words out. Aziraphale panted a bit, giggles lacing every breath.

“Okay okhahay! I’m sohohorry!” Aziraphale giggle, pushing Crowley’s hands away from him. Crowley let his hands be moved for just a moment, before giving one last quick squeeze to Aziraphale’s hips just to make him yip.

Crowley smiled down at his angel, watching him catch his breath and try to will away that blush from his cheeks. Aziraphale looked up at Crowley with a pointed expression, “Wily serpent.”

Crowley laughed, “You asked me to!”

“I did not ask you to. You obviously wanted to do it so I…obliged,” Aziraphale shrugged, the lie plain as day on his face. Crowley couldn’t help but snicker.

“Yes, of course. Obliging the temptation of a demon really is your forte, after all,” Crowley teased, laying his front down on Aziraphale’s, making himself comfy. “Had your fun?”

Aziraphale sighed through a smile, rubbing a soothing hand up and down Crowley’s back. “Well…not quite.”

Crowley’s face puzzled before feeling Aziraphale’s grip tighten around his torso. His snake eyes grew twice their size, “C’mon angel, play fair.”

“This is fair. I told you what I’d do if you tickled me,” Aziraphale kissed Crowley’s forehead, not giving him a moment to think about that shit before digging his fingers into the backs of Crowley’s ribs.

“FuhuAHK-!” Crowley jolted, falling into helpless laughter on top of his angel. He squirmed and giggled and held onto Aziraphale’s body even tighter just so he could resist throwing himself off.

“‘Demonic cackle’ my behind,” Aziraphale teased. “You’re far too sweet for that, my dear.”

Crowley blushed, hiding that and his smile in Aziraphale’s neck, not missing the way the angel giggled whenever his nose brushed the skin.

The plan ended up being much more than successful. It was everything Crowley could’ve ever hoped for.

. . .

a/n : hope u enjoyed! consider reblogging if u liked it <3

#tickle community #tickling #tickle fic #good omens #good omens tickling #lee!aziraphale #ler!crowley #lee!crowley #ler!aziraphale #ticklish aziraphale #ticklish crowley

[just-1other-nerd]

Good Omens live blog ep. 12

Once again, did not totally forget this one in my drafts, I don't know why you're saying that...

He doesn't have real candles anymore, after the incident

How did he know from which class Muriel was?

I like the way he contrasts heaven so much, it just looks so weirdly pretty. Also, he's just got the gayest walk

Oh no, not the angel outfit

Maggie, love, now is the wrong time to awake your inner badass. Aaand just minutes later we've got an I told you so situation

The circle is such a nice callback and clever as well

The Muriel Crowley combo is one of the best things in this season

Crowley was high up in the heavenly ranking? I just know that there will be so many fan theories

Gabriel, or shall I say Jim, is just enjoying the chaos

Did Gabriel just say "Nah", like for real? He's such a bitch

Why is Saraqael so chill right now?

I'll do myself one better: Why was Gabriel so chill about going to hell? Very sus

So that was the institutional problem, a bit unspectacular if you ask me

Not the BOOKS!!! As a fellow bookseller, this season really hurts me as much as the last one. Why do they keep doing this?

So halos are weapons? Cool. Idk how to explain it, but he throws it in such a gay way. Are they dead? Discorporated? Unconscious?

Love how Crowley just keeps giving orders, and they just follow them like he isn't a demon

So we got the high-ranking angels there, Lord Beelzebub and this seemingly high-ranking demon, but wtf is Furfur doing there?

Crowley just keeps insisting that there is no war and weirdly everyone listens?!

Saraqael has got the sass

I knew something was up with the fly! But I thought it was a false lead or to spy on them, not a container of Gabriel's memories!

Beelzebub is strangely nice and gentle

INEFFABLE BUREAUCRACY IS CANON?! I thought of this more as a fun crackship, and I thought it was so silly that this would never become canon, so I didn't expect the fly to be connected to Beelzebub in a good way.

When he shows them the statue, they just make an "okay weird" face and move on, I think that's hilarious

How his love for Beelzebub not only makes him do a miracle but also appreciate earthly things

But that montage convinced me that they deserve a happy ending somewhere where they can't hurt anyone. The way they look at each other. Damn Beelzebub has a pretty smile

Today everyone seems to forget Saraqael's name

Crowley's got such a fun dynamic with so many people

Oh, that one guy is still alive

Maggie makes some moves, you go girl!

The way Crowley proudly watches when Aziraphale becomes bossy

Alpha Centauri is back, I can't cope!!!

They're singing their song, that's so cute

Shax and Furfur being besties, like slay

Is that the Metatron? What is he doing here? I sense something bad coming

The way Crowley recognises him before everyone else is so funny

The Ritz, oh my God, the Ritz! And alone time?! Like a date?!

Crowley is putting everything back to where it was, that's husband behaviour

Nina and Maggie speaking the truth! And Nina called her angel! Best advice, 10/10. Is this really happening? Will the ineffable husbands really become canon? So excited!

The romantic music from the Blitz!

No, Aziraphale, don't interrupt him now!

Please, don't let that go to where I think it's going!

FUCK IT IS!!!

Aziraphale, I know you really believe what you're saying, but I'm with Crowley on this one!

We get a love confession anyways? I think I might be dying. The way he looks up trying not to cry, like same.

So many daggers are being put directly into my heart right now!

The sunglasses, NOOOOOO!

He really does understand it better than you, but he needs to explain it! There is so much more to say!

No nightingales. Really?! Neil knows the fandom to well, he knows exactly where to hit us, so that it really hurts. I love and despise him for this

Oh my God, it's happening, everybody stay calm, stay fucking calm! They really just kissed! It's canon y'all! But also: not like this! NOT THIS DESPERATELY AND NOT THIS DEVASTATINGLY! I'M IN AGONY!

Not the "I forgive you"! Aziraphale, you idiot, I can't even express why that line and Crowley's answer are so damn emotional and full of meaning. The parallels! I can't cope! I literally rolled off the couch, and now I'm lying on the carpet crying!

Not the lip touch!

I don't think Muriel will do any harm to the shop, but they'll probably make lots of mistakes...

He doesn't take anything with him because Crowley was the only thing that really mattered!

Crowley judgingly and sadly looking at Aziraphale and the Metatron makes the pieces of my heart break again! And the dramatic strings in the background aren't helping!

The second coming?! We're in for a wild ride in season 3, not only emotionally and characterwise but also plotwise! I literally can't wait!

I can't help but hope that he won't step into this elevator until the last second, but somewhere inside me, I know that he just isn't there yet in his character development

Crowley looks so heartbroken, he finally sees their relationship for what it is and now he's lost it! He's shutting down the nightinggales song and drives away expressionless

WHAT KIND OF AN ENDING IS THIS?! WHAT THE FUCK, NEIL, WHAT THE FUCK! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO US! ONLY SEASON 3 MIGHT BE ABLE TO HEAL US, BUT IT'LL TAKE FOREVER TIL IT'S OUT!

Loved this season, but damn do I feel an emotional overload and I have a love/hate relationship with that ending because as an aspiring writer, I would have done the same, it's brilliant, but it hurts so much!

#good omens #still crying on the carpet btw #GOS2Spoilers #ineffable bureaucracy #ineffable bureaucrats #ineffable husbands #crowley #anthony j crowley #aziraphale #nina #maggie #lord beelzebub #beelzebub #archangel gabriel #saraqael #archangel uriel #archangel michael #shax #furfur #muriel #the metatron #wow #this post got longer than I expected #good omens live blog

[ineffablydelighted]

[Cute Omens #4]

[Also called: Crowley gets j-e-a-l-o-u-ssss]

Right before Aziraphale leaves for Edimburg, ready to get inside the Bentley

Maggie: Oh, Mister Fell, wait! *runs towards him*

Aziraphale: Yes, Maggie? Hello?

Maggie: I just wanted to tell you again how grateful I am for... You know... *awkward shoulder balancing and smile* Not collecting the rent.

Aziraphale: *soft smile of an Angel* My pleasure, Maggie! No need to thank me everyday 😊

Maggie: You... You don't get it, do you?

Aziraphale: I... I'm not sure, now?

Maggie: Nobody does that anymore... People like you, I mean. They do no exist anymore. People are more like... your... *unsure but tries* boyfriend.

Aziraphale: Crowley? Oh, no, Maggie, you've got the wrong idea, Crowley is a very nice... *very long pause* friend... of mine? *shy smile*

Maggie: F-friend of yours? Oh, oh my, I am so sorry, I've... got the wrong idea, um... It's just that... I see him with you so often, and you are- and I just figured- Nevermind.

Aziraphale: *his smile starts to display some hints of regret without him realizing*

Maggie: Listen, Mister Fell, it is most probably not my place, but... In case you wanted to... You know, live something less... "friendly", I might know someone who might be... interested?

Aziraphale: *sudden flashes of Maggie's grandmother hitting on him* O-Oh? You do?

Maggie: You... Remember Mister Brown?

Aziraphale: Oh, yes, I saw him yesterday, he asked me to organize the next Monthly Meeting!

Maggie: Didn't he ask... Anything else?

Aziraphale: Not anything of substance I can remember of. Are you... implying he would have wanted to... hum... ask something else to me? *is never comfortable about these things*

Maggie: I think he likes you very much. And... I am sorry to say, again, certainly not my place, but... he might be a... better fit than your... friend.

Aziraphale: *embarrassed laugh* Maggie, truly, you've got the wrong idea about Crowley! He's the nicest person I've ever met *in over 6000 years which is saying something* and the best...*always marks a pause there for some reason* friend I could ever wish for!

Maggie: I understand, really, it's just that you seem... lonely, sometimes?

Aziraphale: Do I?

Maggie: Trust me, I know the feeling!

Aziraphale: *sympathetic smile* Nothing from... Nina?

Maggie: I'd rather not talk about it, it's... painful. Anyway, um... If you wanted to... Talk some more with Mister Brown, I'm pretty sure he would be very pleased!

Aziraphale: Well, I-

Maggie: *runs without warning* Oh, I-I really have to go, have a good trip, Mister Fell!

Aziraphale: *awkward wave**gets in the car* Oh, hello, there. I'm sure we're gonna get along just perfectly! *taps the steering wheel amicably*

Bentley: *activates a random song the second Aziraphale is seated and ready to go*

Oh, how wrong can you be?

Oh, to fall in love was my very first mistake,

How was I to know,

I was far too much in love to see oh

Jealousy,

Look at me now...

The next morning, the Bookshop's bell rings

Mr Brown: Mister Fell? Hello?

Jim: Hello, I'm Jim, Mister Fell's assistant! How can I help you not buying a book?

Mr Brown: Actually, I was hoping I could see Mister Fell himself, if that is...

Crowley: *arrives in style* Mister Fell is not here, who's ask- *stops and looks at him from afar* Oh. You, again? *is unsure why this last word came out of his mouth but still did*

Mr Brown: *startled* Ah, it is... you... Mister...?

Crowley: *reaches his glasses and puts them on**smirks and walks towards him* Crowley. Hello.

Mr Brown: I-I forgot to ask yesterday, you are...?

Crowley: *raises an eyebrow* I... am...?

Mr Brown: *tries to express himself with just the eyes*

Crowley: *does not get it**at all**makes some waves with his chin to signify he needs more details*

Mr Brown: Maybe... that was a mistake...

Crowley: *clueless Demon* A... mistake? What? The monthly meeting?

Mr Brown: N-no! Nothing to do with the monthly meeting! I...

Crowley: You wanted to see Mister Fell about... Not the meeting? Why?

Mr Brown: I... This is... *sighs* Can we, please, stop beating around the bush?

Crowley: *thinks he somewhat starts to get it but remains unsure* Uhhh... Sure...

Mr Brown: Is Mister Fell in a... relationship at the moment?

Crowley: *hesitates for much longer than he expected* Not... that I know of? And, well, I certainly... would know?

Mr Brown: Wait... You're not his... On-and-off partner?

Crowley: *feels something unexpected growing besides astonishment**is it... anger?* I am most certainly not.

Mr Brown: Oh... OH! G-good! I mean, okay! Are you his... cousin or something?

Crowley: *laughs* Hell no! *is tempted to remove his glasses for some reason*

Mr Brown: Business partner?

Crowley: Sort... of... speak?

Mr Brown: Oh, okay, hum... Can you please not tell Mister Fell about our encounter? I feel like I need to ask him out myself, you see?

Crowley: *finally totally gets it* Sorry. Ask him out? As in... Ask him for a date? *chuckles* Oh, no! Angel doesn't date, ever! *has heard the joke of the next three centuries*

Mr Brown: *gets offended**and cold**well, at least he tries* I-I'm sorry to say but that is not on you to decide, is it?

Crowley: *stops laughing out of nowhere and feels the anger taking the lead**approaches him menacingly* Or maybe, just maybe... it is?

Mr Brown: B-but, you said-

Crowley: *even colder voice* I know what I said, I just don't believe you heard me, so let me clarify... *takes him by the collar*

Mr Brown: *gasps*

Crowley: Mister Fell... doesn't... date. *ends up with a creepy smile*

Mr Brown: *muster some courage**looks at Crowley's hands on his vest**looks back at Crowley's glasses* What if he wants to?

Crowley: *gritted teeth* I assure you: he doesn't.

Mr Brown: How would you know that?!

Crowley: I just do.

Jim: *is back or maybe has never left, nobody knows* Uhhhh... Do you need... assistance in anything?

Crowley: *releases Mr Brown with the heaviest, most threatening smirk**turns at Jim* Can you show Mister Brown the exit? We're done here.

Mr Brown: But I...

Crowley: *turns back at him**accidently nose-on-nose* Ou-T.

Mr Brown: *recoils**frowns his brows**but remains intimidated* I guess you have some unfinished business to attend to, Mister Crowley.

Crowley: *looks at his nails* Yeahhh, I most certainly do. Taking care of Mister Fell's things takes such a long time indeed!

Mr Brown: *to Jim* I know the exit, thank you. Good... *to both* Have a... good day.

Crowley: *indifferent* Oh, I will. Taking care of...

Mr Brown: Mister Fell's things. Yes, I caught that.

Jim: Have a good day! *waves enthusiastically*

[The door closes]

Mr Brown: God, these two really need to talk!

***

Navigation time!

[While needing you to consider that, most of the time, the scenes are randomized and do no necessarily follow one another at all]

Previous - Beginning - Next

#Cute Omens #Good Omens #Good Omens minific #Good Omens fanfic #Good Omens fanfiction #Ineffable Husbands #Aziracrow #Aziraphale #Crowley #Featuring Mr Brown #Not-his-cousin Crowley #Jealous Crowley #Taking care of Mister Fell's things indeed #Angel doesn't date #Bentley knows her classics

[theonevoice]

Rumination n. 1 - Why we don’t need the coffee theory (or any other theory)

Disclaimer: this is, of course, my personal reading of Good Omens season 2; it’s mostly a way for me to cope with the heartbreak, and does not intend to deny the validity of any other interpretation that you may prefer.

As we all collectively trudge through the five stages of grief after Good Omens season 2 finale, many theories are coming to life to make sense of the protagonists’ breakup. One of the most shared is the so called “coffee theory”, which formulates the hypothesis that the Metatron could have spiked the infamous coffee with a brainwashing miracle in order to convince Aziraphale to follow him back to Heaven. An interesting variant of the same theory speculates instead that the coffee itself could be not spiked per se, but metaphorically spiked, so to speak, in that it functions as a “coded message" based on the name of Nina’s shop, Give me coffee or give me death. According to this variant theory, the Metatron (who was conveniently commenting on the name of the establishment just before the scene in question) has not put any miracle on the coffee, but is using the gesture of offering the coffee as a way to implicitly threaten Aziraphale: so when he offers the cup and asks him “Are you going to take it?”, the underlying message would be “I can give you this coffee or I can give you death” (death potentially meaning not just his death, but also – or rather – Crowley’s death, or Crowley’s existence removed from the Book of Life). Other theories propose that the two didn’t actually fight, but that either Aziraphale was lying to Crowley or both of them were staging a false fight because they have guessed that the Metatron is up to no good and they intend to thwart his plans. The one that I personally find the wildest even goes as far as imagining that the Metatron rewrote entire parts of the protagonists’ past, messing with the Book of Life (even if we are never told if this is how the Book works – meaning if it is a precise record of all history from which one could erase or modify individual bits, or rather it’s just an index that lists the existence of every living being) in order to bring them to the final point.

Now, I am all for fan theories, and I strongly believe that the capacity to inspire such intellectual and emotional involvement in a story is the ultimate demonstration of how amazingly well made (and how deeply loved) this show is, so I am not trying to bring down the effort of any fan who is proposing or supporting these theories. On the contrary, I wholeheartedly admire the unbelievable eye for details, the analytical skills, the time, and the genuine creativity that many fans are showing in formulating such theories. I just don’t think that we necessarily need them.

First, I find that putting a factor of external pressure on that ending would undermine the agency of both characters and the deep emotional construction of the scene. But mainly, I don’t think that the story, analysed from a strictly “narrative balance” point of view, needs a theory to explain how we get to the finale, which is, in my opinion, perfectly understandable as the resolution of a totally psychological and emotional struggle. That masterful confrontation in the bookshop is the surprising but inevitable culmination of a minor, yet lethal, misalignment of Crowley’s and Aziraphale’s positions. A misalignment that they never made the effort to correct, because they were too caught up in their respective fears. I believe that the Job minisode, especially the final dialogue, is already more than enough to set up the "cracks" that, centuries later, will bring about the ep 6 breakup. What does this dialogue show us?

On one side, the minisode shows us that Crowley is afraid of being alone in his “independent agent” chosen path: his very attempt to initially deny it, in the cellar scene, sounds to me as evidence that he is not comfortable with that scenario of complete loneliness (he’s not saying “yes, it is lonely, but who cares”). So, as soon as he spots Aziraphale’s hesitation, he immediately convinces himself (and tries to convince him) that he has found a companion that would share his “third party” option, and begins to refer to Aziraphale – sometimes indirectly, but always clearly, in my opinion – as a sort of twin figure: “That’s how it started for me” (reading as “after all, we are the same”), and “You are just an angel who goes along with Heaven as far as he can” (which is the exact label that he has previously used to describe himself). His deepest fear is to be alone and his deepest need is to find someone “like him” who would turn his lonely “my own side” into a shared “our side”, as we’ve seen him long for since season 1. This led him to ignore the main struggle that consumes Aziraphale for the entire length of their relationship, which is his fear of facing his feelings, and by refusing to acknowledge this fear (which would undermine his need to convince himself that they are just the same in every respect) he opens a first subtle crack in their relationship.

On the other side, the minisode shows us also that Aziraphale is scared to death of loosing his angelic identity and not knowing what he is anymore. He is afraid that stepping away from Heaven would leave him without a well-defined moral framework and he would be overwhelmed by the uncertainty of the world, falling into a radical, utter existential crisis (in that respect, I personally find his characterization deeply human and as close to a universal feeling as a piece of fiction can go). This means that, as he realizes his affection for Crowley, he panics, because what would it mean for an angel to love someone who is “not good”? It would force him to question not just his allegiance to Heaven but his very identity, or at least the specific kind of clear and unambiguous identity that he needs to hold on to. A need confirmed by the many occasions in which, despite his fleeting conversion to "shades of grey", we see him consistently tied to his black-and-white mentality (from the very initial "We are hereditary enemies" to the last "Obviously you said no to Hell, you're the bad guys!"). So, in order to protect his heavenly self, he resorts to just denying Crowley’s identity instead: repeatedly telling him (almost as if he's trying to talk his wish into existence) that he is “a good person”, that he is still an angel who has only temporarily strolled away from the “right path”, waiting to be brought back to Heaven with the help of an undisputed angelic influence. This led him to take Crowley for granted (notice the "I knew you would come through for me, you always do", and the even more telling “Rescuing me makes him so happy”), and opens a parallel and equally dangerous crack in their relationship. His feelings for Crowley are a point of absolute internal conflict for him, and he reacts with fear and withdrawal every time that he feels their pull getting stronger, like during the conversation on the bandstand (by the way, known spot for proposal in Battersea Park, which means that Crowley unusually calling him there and asking him to “go off together” was quite literally a “will you marry me” moment). His “You go too fast for me, Crowley” perfectly represents this struggle, but further proofs of it are everywhere in his lines, in both seasons: think of “There is no our side. […] I don’t even like you!”, or “That’s what friends do”, or the reaction to Gabriel’s allusion of being comforted by the presence of someone special (“I have no idea what that feels like”), which, being pronounced in a scene where Crowley is not present, sounds to me as evidence that Aziraphale is not just acting shy specifically in front of him, but is in fact in full denial of their relationship.

This selective blindness of each other’s deepest needs and fears is, to me, perfectly sufficient to set up the finale without the need to have the Metatron pulling some unfathomable trick on them. Especially if we consider that season 2 is full of moments that bring up the pressure on this dangerously weak point of their situation.

The apparently minor and funny detail that Crowley has lost his flat to Shax and is living in the Bentley, for example, as much of a gag as it is, is also a throwback to the moment in season 1 where he had offered Aziraphale to stay at his place after the bookshop burned down, and Aziraphale had refused on the account of “his side not liking it very much”. I was surprised, at first, that Aziraphale would let him live in a car for – as I understand – a few years (!), but thinking back on that season 1 moment, the fact that they both let this happen is actually totally in line with what has been established: whether they didn’t talk about it and pretended that it wasn’t happening, or they joked about it in their classic not-serious way and then just left the conversation hanging, it’s a manifestation of the underlying tension that stops Aziraphale from committing and pushes Crowley in a place of sadness and grumpy uncertainty (where we find him in the first episode of season 2). On top of this, we have plenty of exacerbating factors building up. Nina making Crowley realize that his connection to Aziraphale is in fact love, and then her and Maggie’s final advice in the bookshop, push him to go even “faster” than ever before and ignoring how scary that would make Aziraphale. Aziraphale setting up the ball and then basically falling into his own emotional trap, and then witnessing the bravery (from his point of view) of Gabriel’s and Beelzebub's choice to leave everything behind and go off together, brings him on the verge of finally admitting his feelings, which is great but is also a point of extreme psychological exertion for him, that makes him vulnerable to the first “win-win option” who appears to literally drop from the sky and save him from this impasse.

In fact, I am inclined to believe that the timely appearance of the Metatron proves that Aziraphale was about to reach a conclusion that Heaven would not have liked, and that the Metatron himself was spying on the situation and decided to step in at the worst possible moment to take maximum advantage of his state of emotional confusion. Let’s add to all of this the fact that neither of the two has any “emotional education”, to quote Flaubert, and knows how to express feelings: they rely on popular romantic fiction to articulate their love, and the writing of the Nina-Maggie storyline is a very clear message about how unreliable these oversimplified scenarios are in real life.

(I feel the moral and academic obligation to note that Jane Austen’s plots are not oversimplified in any possible way, but, considering how he summarises them, I am under the impression that Aziraphale doesn’t really get the subtleties of her writing.)

That’s why, all considered, I don’t think that we need the coffee theory, or any other theory, to explain what happened. Because what happened is fully explained by what we have seen Crowley and Aziraphale do over the centuries, and by what season 2 explicitly tells us about how complicated love is.

Crowley and Aziraphale undoubtedly love each other very much, painfully even, but that is not enough to establish a mature relationship if you never make the effort to check both your and the other person’s deepest issues, to grow and learn how to process them, and to “say what you are really thinking”.

#good omens #good omens 2 spoilers #go 2 speculation #good omens thoughts #good omens theory

[aziraphales-library]

Hi, thank you for your hard work, this blog is amazing and my n.1 source when it comes to good fics!

I was wondering if you could recommend me some longish fics (around 10k-15k words, could be less, could be a bit more, I don't mind), sort of slow burn, with some pining, maybe a bit of oblivious Aziraphale, fluffy stuff. No explicit ones, please!

I've recently read Any Other Name by ignaz, all i need darling is a life in your shape by deadgreeks, and Something to do with these sacred words by Solshine, which were amazing and I highly recommend them, and I was looking for similar stuff.

Sorry if it's a bit of a hard request, I hope you can help me! Thank you <3

Hello! Here are some fluffy pining slow-ish burn non-explicit fics between 10-15k words...

No Picture Can Express by nutmeag83 (T)

Ezra Fell prefers books (and discretely watching the lovely florist down the street) to social media, but takes up the hobby at Madame Tracy's urging. Anthony Crowley has been pining after his neighbor for ages, happy to keep his distance until Ezra asks him to tutor him in using Instagram. They find they have more in common than just having shops on the same block in Soho.

Plant-Based Customs by junkshopdisco (T)

A Christmas Fiction. In Prose. Being a Story of Christmas & Why An Angel Should Learn More About Mistletoe Than Whether Or Not To Put It On Pizza.

Or: five times Crowley tried to get Aziraphale to kiss him under the mistletoe and one time he didn’t bother.

where the lights burn low and you're only mine by hopelessromantic549 (T)

For the most part, Aziraphale sees himself as a rational angel who follows a consistent moral code. That has been his identity for millennia, and it comforts him, gives him stability in an ever-changing universe.

What he feels for Crowley is decidedly not rational, and that's more terrifying than the Great Plan failing him.

(Or, Aziraphale and Crowley move into a cottage together after the world doesn't end, and Aziraphale tries to be brave.)

To Fools and Stars by NebulaEyes (T)

After a visit from Adam ends with an upgraded computer and a blogging profile, Aziraphale is soon talking with someone who seems to be in the same predicament his own heart is in. What will happen when he realizes just how much this person relates to his situation? What will be said? Will it all work out?

The Constancy of Stars by AppleSeeds (T)

Struggling with the fast pace of change in his life and seeking to connect with something more stable and constant, Aziraphale attends an event run by the Tadfield Astronomical Society to learn more about the stars. After meeting captivating astronomer Crowley, Aziraphale realises that the constancy he's been seeking in his life is more about wanting to have someone, rather than something, that he can rely on to always be there, but would it be too much to hope that Crowley might share his feelings?

the fact of his pulse by lexophile (NR)

The revelation of the angel’s face hovering over him—and his firelit, affectionate expression—is more than he can cope with right now. Crowley shuts his eyes again, although he does make an effort to relax his shoulders and curl his knees in towards his chest. He’s aware that lying in the fetal position with his head on an angel’s lap is just about the least demonic thing he’s ever done.

-

Or: five times Crowley successfully conceals his crush on Aziraphale and one time he fails.

And the three you mentioned...

Any Other Name by ignaz (T)

“It’s just,” he continued, “I’ve noticed that humans—some humans, anyway—they use that word, angel, as a…well, as a sort of…endearment.”

“Do they?” said Crowley, who had invented using the word as an endearment in the 13th century AD.

Something to do with these sacred words by Solshine (T)

Crowley confesses early, and Crowley confesses often. Aziraphale never knows quite what to say.

all i need, darling, is a life in your shape by deadgreeks (G)

After everything, Aziraphale and Crowley, by unspoken agreement, begin sharing their lives. --- Why? Aziraphale wanted to ask him, why millennia of the way things were, and now this?

But while Crowley seemed to have little issue upending every unspoken rule they’d ever written for themselves, Aziraphale was not so flexible, and they had spent thousands of years never quite addressing whatever it was this had stemmed from. Words, Aziraphale had always felt, were for bickering about where to eat for lunch, or hashing out ontological debates, or other trivial nonsense; there was no need to trifle with the imprecision of language, with phrasing and the possibility of being misconstrued, when it came to important matters if the other person simply understood, without needing it said. Six thousand years ago, when Aziraphale had met Crowley on the wall of Eden, watching the first two humans set out to begin the rest of history, something deep within him, more central even than his Grace, had thought, oh, it’s you, and that had been enough for him--for both of them, he assumed--for three millennia.

However much he wanted to ask, he didn’t know how. The words simply weren’t there.

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #slow burn #pining #fluff #mod d

[meow-face]

Another Good Omens season 3 thought I had:

If Aziraphale and/or Crowley get to talk with God in season 3, I realized there might be some really awesome potential for some 4th wall breakage. Let me explain:

So, say Aziraphale gets his chance to talk to God. He'll have tons of questions, and let's say he asks, "Why?" "Why do you put us through everything we've been through? Why the trials? Why so much suffering? Why?"

And God answers, "The audience." This only confuses the angel, so God elaborates: "The audience doesn’t have any control of the story of course, That's all my job. But I certainly wouldn't be playing out this story, your lives per se, if it weren't for the audience in the first place." They could go on to explain that yes, the audience is watching him right now.

And of course, that'll be the end of the discussion because God likes to be mysterious, leaving Aziraphale alone. Or so he thinks. After learning this, he might try to "communicate" with the audience. He might say "Hello?" "Is anybody watching? Is anyone there?" Causing us to absolutely scream at our screens.

This wouldn't serve much of a purpose other than a not-so-subtle "Thank you" to the audience for watching n' stuff, but I don't know, I just really really love subtle 4th wall breaks that actually make sense story-wise. I mean, God is narrating to us, many times explaining things to us in season 1, so she does seem to know about us at least.

I don't think I explained this in the best way but yeah, I just have lots of thoughts! So I spew them onto Tumblr. :D

#good omens #neil gaiman #aziraphale #crowley #good omens theory #this lowkey turned into a weird kind of fanfic almost? #this was fun to write though #anyways thanks for reading i guess!

[liberacesghost]

Day 7 -- Picnic

i know i'm super backlogged, but i am DETERMINED to do every single prompt even if it kills me!

anyway, i'm taking a brief detour from my CM fics and doing a GO fic b/c it's been a while and i still love them and the 2nd season is coming out this year so why not?!

warnings: cussing

pairings: crowley x aziraphale

word count: 675

a/n: haven't written for them in a while, but i had a good time doing this GO fandom where you at?? <33

He literally never thought this day would come. When the angel had said it all those years ago, it was almost like an afterthought. Some far-fetched idea that, though easy in theory, would never actually happen. 

So after the Apocalypse That Never Was™, when the demon Crowley finds himself sitting next to said angel on a tartan blanket, under the largest, shadiest tree in a park (that’s suspiciously devoid of people), large wicker basket in front of them, he’s at a loss for words.

They’ve known each other for thousands of years and yet he feels like he’s meeting Aziraphale for the first time.

It’s fucking nerve-wracking. 

He gulps unnecessarily for what has to be the 7th time in the past 15 minutes, running his fingers through his hair. 

Az sits there next to him, hands fluttering nervously on his lap, eyes scanning the park before him. He clears his throat.

Crowley turns his head toward him expectantly, eyebrows raised above his sunglasses.

“Well”, Aziraphale begins with a timid smile. Eyes momentarily meeting Crowley’s before looking back out to the park. “This is all very awkward isn’t it.”

Crowley just stares, his eyebrows raising impossibly higher. 

A beat. 

Then the air is filled with Crowley’s barking laughter. Head thrown back, hands clutching his stomach. 

There’s a brief moment of confusion before Az is laughing right along with Crowley.

After a while, they both start to calm down. Wiping tears from his eyes, Crowley leans over to place a hand on the angel’s shoulder. Looking into his eyes and still chuckling slightly he says, “I love you, angel.”

Aziraphale tenses. A soft gasp escaping his lips at Crowley’s words. 

The smile quickly leaves the demon’s face when he realizes what he just confessed. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

Yes it was true, but this is absolutely not the way he wanted to tell him.  “Real fucking smooth, Crowley. 6,000 years of this back and forth knowing you go too fast and push too hard. Knowing that Aziraphale needs time and space to get comfortable, to –”

Crowley’s spiraling thoughts are brought to an abrupt end as Aziraphale brings his hand to so, so gently touch Crowley’s cheek. Grounding the demon and bringing him back to the present. 

“Crowley, I -” the angel begins before suddenly stopping. Aziraphale begins to look unsure of himself, eyes darting down, before snapping back up to meet Crowley’s. “Did you mean it?”, he asks, voice barely above a whisper.

So taken aback is he by the angel touching him that at first Crowley has no idea what Aziraphale is talking about. 

“Mean it?” He murmurs, eyebrows slightly furrowing. “Mean wh- oh! Yes! Yes of course I mean it.”

Aziraphale smiles up at him, which just spurs Crowley on. 

“Been wanting to say it - been trying to say it for centuries now. Didn’t want to do it like that, but -”

Again, Crowley’s rambling is cut off. This time by Aziraphale’s lips on his.

Crowley stiffens at first, completely caught off guard. When his brain finally catches up with him, his body moves into hyperdrive. His other hand comes up to softly cup the angel - his angel’s cheek - his mind gleefully supplies, and his lips start to slowly move against Aziraphale’s. 

When they finally break apart, the exuberant look that Az is giving him could make Crowley fucking cry. The angel is practically glowing. Is actually glowing, he realizes and it makes him want to kiss him again. So he does, because he can. 

When they break apart for the second time, the demon Crowley rests his head against Aziraphale’s. Both of them savoring the moment, content to just be with each other. 

“I love you, too.” The angel finally says in the space between them, hands still on others cheeks, feeling the muscles beneath his hands move as he smiles. 

“Good”, Crowley says softly. “Or this could have got even more awkward. Awkwarder? Uh, worse.”

The angel smiles up at him adoringly before soundly shutting him up once again by covering his mouth with his.

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable dumbasses #ineffable boyfriends #ineffable partners #ineffable husbands #ineffable lovers #ineffable spouses #aziraphale x crowley #aziraphale fell #aziraphale good omens #crowley x aziraphale #crowley good omens #good omens fic #idiots in love #getting together #first kiss #fluff #fluffy february #cussing warning #tw cussing #doctor steths fluffy feb #doctorstethsfluffyfeb

[ask-but-beware-the-consequences]

Note: OK, first things first, I started drawing this while traveling on a bus, in an Easternish Europian country, so the roads were very bumpy and it was hard to write, so I'm going to write here the texts too. I hope you like this short story I came up with! ^^ (I'm obsessed with putting easter eggs into everything)

1: God: Today I unite you, God: And all shall witness.

[Crowley hides themselves with his wings] 2: A: It's alright, my darling. No needd to cover me. God: He is right, Crowley. You can't fight anyone's fate. God: For it has already been written. God: My sweet children, I have sent humanity for you to learn from. God: And you two were the first ones, who ever did. Crowley, my fallen archangel, Raphael, guardian demon of the tree, and aid of humanity…- A: What?! You're an archangel?

3: C: Does it matter now? A: N-no. God: Aziraphale, principality of the Eastern gate… my softest angel. Your worries may layed to rest, for from this day forward, you shan't leave one another. God: Take my gift, he will be the guardian of humanity. The fruit of your love will be Rathma. A, and C: What?! God: Demon, will you take my gift, and his hand? C: … I'd like to hear it from him first! God: Very well, angel? A: Crowley… I will.

4: C: Then, C: I will too… God: You may kiss your spouse.

5:

6: later, somewhere in London [wings flap, they are falling apart, from being untangled from their wings, finally falling back into cushions at the library] C: What- What just happened? A: I think… we just got married.

7: C: Angel. Did you really want this? C: I mean, them leaving us alone is nice and all, but… Isn't this going too fast for you? A: Crowley, dear. This was just a ceremony of spending our time together. I think we already did that for 6000 years. C: Did you not hear the part about Rathma?! A: Crowley, I will do no such thing until I know you can love me. C: Oh, so you mean to tell me, you also don't have free will. Beacuse angels can't have that.

8: C: You just heard Her. We are on our own side. C: You didn't say yes, just because you were forced, right? A: It's not as if we can't set our own pace. She didn't say any date. C: So you do lov- A: Ahah, would you like some wine? Let's get drunk! [alcohol appears]

9: C: …sure. I'd like to be summoned while I'm too drunk to care about the change of surroundings. If that happens again. [Bunch of alcohol later] C: My point is… Ducks! [A: again?] C: They have eggs. Real good parental defene… defenend… guardians! Put their heir in an egg! Kids fresh out the egg can run! See! Speak too! Snakes have eggs!

10: A: So you're suggesting we should also store them in an egg? C: I-I-I I mean, I don't suppose any of us want to carry them the way others do, right? A: Like humans? C: Imagine fish… A: Ugh… I'd rather not. A: Do we even carry them? How-… Do they?… How would we even get there? I don't think others have done it before.

11: A: How are angels born? C: Why ask me? You're the angel! A: You were an archangel! You should know more than I do! C: I-I don't know! C: God sorta just created them! In adult form. Or at least in a permanent state. C: …You don't think-. They will just show up anytime? A: She said they'll be born as the fruit of our love… A: wait. A: If we are good and evil. Then they will be good and evil. But humans are good and evil. What if they will be human? They grow so fast!!

12: C: I go for a longer nap and they might be old or dead! [Even more alcohol later…] A: I can't help it, I'm an 'Ngel! I'm made out of love. I can only love you. Even if you can't- [Drunk vision begins] C: No. Angel,

13: C: I'm sorry if you ever thought that. If you ever held back because of me. Of fear I'd hurt you. C: I can't ask you to believe me, I only earned distrust for my fall. But I have loved you since the moment we first met. Even if I hate to admit it. There's no other being I want to protect more than you. If not me, the nature of the animal I've been cursed with, can be believed.

14: A: Crowley… You just said that you love me! C: I-… I did? Aziraphale, barely can be heard: Dear, you're shaking! Are you alright? Oh don't fear, it is mutual, rea…

[Crowley's brain has stopped working] 15: [Reality check starts, drunk vision ends] C: OFC I LOVE YOU, ANGEL! PLEASE! IT'S BEEN 6000 YEARS! hic WHAT DO YOU MEAN I GO TOO FAST FOR YOU?!! HUMANS NEED LIKE ONE YEAR. Why do you think I slept so much?! "Devil don't sleep", Angel! I-… [reciting of the last words, showing they really were said]

[Time was spent, and now it's morning] 16: A: Mhm… C: Nothing's too fast for you now, is it? A: You're never going to let that go, will you? C: That's basic standard~ C: Angel. Will you marry me? A: But we're already married? C: I want it to be your decision. When you want it. When you're ready. A: Crowley~ You're the nicest being that I ever known, [C: That's a problem] A: Of course, I will!

17: [much later, in Raphael's church, with Raphael's painting showing him holding a snake. Others have been invited too.] C and A: I do. [A: Now that I think about it, it's kind of obvious]

18: It has been ages since they were on earth. [ominous humming] In their celestial star-shape. A star smelter, in the sky. A new star was believed to have occoured. And a new star was born. (A demigod).

19: And soon, delivered to Earth. Vanishing from the night sky. An Angel's egg. [later, at their cottage house] A: Crowley~ [Crowley is shown in snake form, holding a marker, indicating he drew on the egg the shades]

The end!

Thank you for reading!

#good omens #good omens s2 #ineffable husbands #Anthony J Crowley #Aziraphale #comic #short comic #David Tennant #Michael Sheen #Crowley was Raphael archangel in this fic #idea that he kept the count of the wings even after the fall he just hides them #so does Aziraphale #but only sometimes #the angel's egg inspired me again #also diablo 4

[soughtknowledge]

@gildedangel / con't:

——Once makes a good story. Heat slammed against Aziraphale’s skin, clogging up his nose with the stench of burning flesh and scorching down his throat. This had to be Hell. It had to be. Where else could such unbearable heat come from? ——Twice makes it look like there is some kind of institutional problem. He had to find Crowley. The thought chained his mind, dragging him onwards even though exhaustion tried to tempt him to stop. Angels could not be tempted. He carried on, with only one thought in mind: he had to find Crowley. ——God does not make mistakes. We simply fail Her. Prove unworthy of Her design. “Aziraphale! Please!” There! Aziraphale could hear him! All was not lost! He could find Crowley yet. The demon’s voice was muddied in his ears, but Aziraphale could tell he wasn’t far. His heart soared. He would find him! ——We make mistakes, Aziraphale. She has given us perfection, yet we still stumble and fall. “Crowley?” “A-angel...L-listen to me. Focus on m-my voice…” Everything was too bright. Hell’s infernal flames, no doubt, blinding him. Aziraphale tried not to let panic strike in his heart; now wasn’t the time. He had to find Crowley. “I...I am listening. I can hear you. Where are you?” ——No, God does not make mistakes, Aziraphale. But when we make mistakes, She makes...adjustments. He was so tired. So very tired. Aziraphale couldn’t recall when he’d stopped moving. Perhaps the heat had finally got to him. Ah, had he failed again? “C-Crowley…? I’m...I’m sorry...” ——Truth be told, I think this should have been done eons ago. Lucifer’s defiance ought to have been the first and last straw. But then again, God does so love second chances. Why was Crowley laughing? Why couldn’t Aziraphale see properly? A veil of bright, dazzling white allowed nothing but the dancing edges of shadows to move across his field of vision. Was that...was that Crowley? “It’s all right...Angel, it’s...it’s all right…” ——Oh, don’t look so surprised. You are an angel, Aziraphale. You were created to obey and carry out the will of God. We’ve simply made some adjustments to ensure angels do precisely that from now on. “N-n-n-no. No, I...I have to find you, Crowley! Why can’t I see…?” No. Questions. Asked. Cold fingers encircled Aziraphale’s hand, making him jump. “You...you did. You found me.” ——I am the Metatron. I am the voice of God. My words are Her orders. Cold fingers...wrapped around his hand...his hand...holding a sword… The heat...fire. Not hellfire. ——Find him, Aziraphale. Find him and smite him. Aziraphale’s senses slammed into the foreground too late. The blinding white light cleared from his eyes just long enough to see Crowley’s blood-smeared, smiling face. Not one inch of his expression held any trace of betrayal or accusation, despite the flaming sword piercing his torso. Aziraphale’s heart wilted under the stark, cold truth. His whole body grew numb, his very soul rejecting the sight before him. “N-no. No, no, no, no, no, Crowley? Crowley!” With a cry of despair, Aziraphale let go of the sword, catching Crowley just as the demon’s legs gave out beneath him. “Crowley!”

HE'D KNOWN the risks . of course he had . to become the duke of hell was to become the antithesis of his angel . supreme archangel . but she'd known , known that the only way to get aziraphale away from the claws of heaven , from the abuse they've caused him over and over AND OVER AND OVER . so if crowley couldn't make him see , she would take down the system that perpetuated it .

- - - while she'd known the risks , there were a few things she hadn't counted on . and while the war was as brutal as he'd anticipated , just as bloody , maybe even more so than the first one , it was AZIRAPHALE himself that he hadn't factored in . of all the things crowley has ever known , aziraphale was what he knows the most . and the violet - eyed angel of death was not him . there was no convincing , no pleading or shouting that could shake that look from the angel's eye . the fight was brutal , but only one of them was shooting to kill , and it wasn't crowley . she wouldn't , COULDN'T , especially when his angel wasn't in control . even right there , right up to the end , she thought it could work , thought she could get through . and she nearly thought she did . and then - - -

❝ angel . ❞

#convo #gildedangel #{ v. 5 } 𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖑 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖉𝖊𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖘 #long post #|| haha crying actually

[weirdmorefics]

Ineffable husbands x reader (platonic)! They've been noticing how much they've been on their phone lately, always smiling and giggling. Azira quickly assumes they're seeing someone and being the match maker he is at heart, he and Crowley manage to get the phone but the only thing on it is that Y/N is in a Facebook group about pretending to be ants in an ant colony (it's an actual thing).

A/n- This is so oddly specific and I love it! Kind of reminds me of when I was obsessed with Mystic Messenger which is just being in fake relationships with anime boys and girls... yeah I didn't have many friends in a high school LOL. Also, tell me why I am researching information about ants for a fanfiction!

Pronouns- (They/them)

Word Count- 930

Y/n's Ant Hill

Aziracrow x (Plantonic Reader)

Summary- The reader has been giggling at their phone non-stop recently Crowly is insistent that the reader has a significant other so he steals their phone.

Y/n is entranced by their phone having no idea about their surroundings.

Crowley throws his hands up in the air, "Okay that is the tenth time they giggled in five minutes!"

Aziraphale smiles at Crowley's outburst, "I am sure you are overexaggerating dear."

Crowley leans closer to Y/n to get a better look at their phone, "They have to be seeing someone!"

"Crowley, shh you are talking about Y/n as if they are not even there!" Aziraphale chastises him.

Crowley waves his hand dismissively, "They can't hear me they have no idea what's happening around them. Watch," he proceeds to clap directly in front of Y/n's face who does not even blink.

Aziraphale narrows his eyes, "That is actually quite impressive. I wonder what has Y/n so engrossed."

Crowley rolls his eyes, "Angel, I am telling you there is only one explanation they are seeing someone!"

"If they are they will tell us when they are ready," he places a comforting hand on Crowley's shoulder.

"Why would they be hiding it from us? We are their best friends we need to make sure we give their significant other a talking-to about the rules and what happens if they hurt Y/n! It can not wait," he cracks his knuckles.

"My dear maybe that's why their not telling you, " Aziraphale pats the shoulder his hand was already on and Crowley simply hisses in response.

Y/n abruptly stands, "I am really craving some hot cocoa, this weather is frigid. You want some?" Y/n asks the pair.

"I'd love some, thank you," Aziraphale smiles.

Crowley simply nods in response but as soon as Y/n leaves the room he jumps to the couch to where Y/n was just sitting.

"Ha! They left their phone," he smiles quickly typing the password.

"I am not even going to ask why you have their password memorized," Aziraphale frowns and Crowley looks up at him with a devilish grin.

Crowley's face quickly turns from devious to utter shock so much so that it concerns Aziraphale.

"What is that look is Y/n some sort of trouble?" He asks his parent mode instantly activated.

"They are fine physically not sure mentally though...," Crowley says full of pure confusion.

"What is it?" Aziraphale slides right up into Crowley's side.

"So much for you judging me for invading their privacy," he smirks at Aziraphale who shoots back a glare.

New messages appear from several different people one reads *foraging food for our queen* another reads *adding more tunnels for our queen* the last one they read says *Found a humongous picnic for our queen! Ants assemble!*

"What on God's earth is this!" Aziraphale surprisingly shouts and it just so happens that Y/n had just walked in with the three hot cocoas.

Y/n's face sours at them on her phone and accidentally drops one of the cups which breaks on impact with the floor.

Y/n quickly apologizes but then stops, "You know what I am not sorry that is a total invasion of my privacy! Crowley I expect this behavior from you but not you Aziraphale!""

Aziraphale quickly gets up, "I am so sorry Y/n! Let me clean the glass I don't want you to get hurt."

"Oh, so you don't want me to get hurt but hurting my feelings is fair game," Y/n glares.

"Y/n, be nice to the angel. It was my idea he got pulled in because of your weird group chat called Y/n's Ant Hill," Crowley says trying to calm them.

Y/n crosses their arms, embarrassment written clearly on their face, "You saw that? You still shouldn't have read the messages."

"We were concerned that you had a significant other and weren't sharing it. I assumed they were some heathen instead I see you roleplaying as an ant! It is far beyond anything any demon or angel could conjure in their mind." Crowley says with shock but also a weird sense of pride in humans.

Y/n tries to defend themself, "If you must know I am not any ant... I am their queen."

Aziraphale smiles and tries to hold back a laugh but at this point, Crowley is dying of laughter.

Y/n looks extremely bitter and Aziraphale tries to brighten their mood, "At least you hold a position of power."

Y/n's eyebrows furrow in anger, "Try it! I swear it is fun! If you don't like it you can make fun of me for it as long as you want if you do like it you can never say a bad word about it again!"

"You know I am always down for a little wager," Crowley smirks.

Y/n smiles, "Good! You Aziraphale?"

"It does sound very strange... but I will do anything for your forgiveness of your breach of privacy," Aziraphale says full of sorrow.

Y/n clasps their hands together, "Perfect!"

They spend the next hour huddled around Y/n's phone.

*I demand you find me the biggest feast an ant has ever feasted on* Crowley types.

Y/n tries to tug the phone away, "Stop they will overthrow me!"

"I'd like to see them try," Crowley wickedly smiles.

"Nooo," Y/n whines.

"For goodness sake why is my best friend and the love of my life the most insane begins I have ever met." Aziraphale sighs.

Safe to say Crowley gets Y/n overthrown and they have to start a whole new colony over together and Aziraphale can now never get them off the phone.

#crowly x aziraphale #good omens x reader #good omens fanfiction #good omens imagine #good omens fic #good omens drabble #crowley x reader #aziraphale x reader #aziraphale imagine

[raemanzu]

I posted 3,885 times in 2022

17 posts created (0%)

3,868 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tearlessrain

@propheticfire

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I tagged 1,659 of my posts in 2022

#the untamed - 153 posts

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Longest Tag: 139 characters

#this post came back to haunt me while we were driving home from a fruit stand and the watermelon and cantaloupe kept thumping around in the

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

ofc the day I finally get my top surgery date set is the first day in months that I feel utterly ambushed by Bad Brain for the first half of the day before getting the phone call lol. Anyway I’m initiating operation flatness at the end of January woop woop. 

3 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

#4

sometimes love is a quiet spoon

because metal scraped against ceramic

is painful to sensitive, half-sleeping ears

sometimes love is trusting

enough to say "hey, this hurts"

what to some might seem foolish or small

and love is listening

finding ways to live more gently

and to need more honestly

and to say

okay

I will try something new

so here is to compostable plastic spoons

kept from a trip to IKEA

they are now a tool of affection

just a small way for me to make life

a little easier to walk through

and every morning

a wordless prayer

over my cereal

sleep well

wake gently

know that you're safe here

4 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

#3

Good Omens Fanfic: The Gospel of Crowley (Chapter 13)

“I asked God about you.”

Crowley’s stomach plunged through the earth and he steeled himself. That is, he tried to steel himself, but could not find much steely within to summon.

“Eh?” he croaked. He cleared his throat. “That so.”

Jesus’ expression was complicated, brow furrowed, mouth twisted somewhere between a weak smile and a pensive frown.

“I’m still trying to figure out the answer. But here’s what I think it is.”

—–

An AU where Crowley and Aziraphale end up a bit more involved in Jesus’ life than they intended. Begins around the Nativity, hits upon various points in Jesus’ childhood and the rest of his life and death. Kids have always been easy for Crowley to interact with, but what about the literal son of God?

So, wow... it’s been ages. This chapter was sitting around waiting for edits for a while and now we can finally share it! It may be a while before the next update since the next chapter is only half written... but we do intend to continue. We love this story a lot.

Preview: 

           Rain fell heavily on the thirsty earth, and it was too dry to drink it. Huge stretches of rock and brush were submerged in pools of runoff, wide temporary rivers cutting new paths in the dust, and the desert became muted, colors blurred and softened under the dark grey sky.

           There was no pressing reason for Crowley to be out here, standing underneath his tree. It certainly didn’t need watering, and its roots were holding well. Still, an inner compass had pulled him ever closer in his restless wanderings along the washed-out road, and the scent of the fruit, gone bright in the rain, had done the rest.

           He sat in the lower branches now, listening to the loud patter of fat drops on glossy leaves. It was peaceful. He kept his eyes closed, or watched the movement of the muddy water below. He tried not to remember. At one point, his eyes tracked the crawling of a tiny bedraggled fig wasp, its wings too heavy for flight.

           Wet footsteps below brought him out of his trance.

           “What are you doing out here?” Crowley asked before he even saw Jesus.

Read it on AO3

5 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

#2

Did not anticipate just how much being trapped at home with covid in the early summer would make me want to be able to go shirtless all the time but it really does. Why do my nipples have to be female presenting.

5 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

We Don’t Talk About Vector

(Just after Nasch and Rio remember they’re barians, but before remembering that Vector killed them, they ask the other barians if they can trust Vector or not)

We don’t talk about Vector, no, no, no!

We don’t talk about Vector… but

(Gilag and Alito)

We were invading earth

[We were invading earth]

Just possessing humans and we thought things were goin’ just fine

[thought this was our time to shine]

Vector shows up in this middle school getup

[LITTLE PUNK]

You telling this story or am I?

[Sorry bro, my bad, go on.]

Vector tanned Alito’s hide

[that so-called Shingetsu Rei]

I swore I’d carry on his fight

[wish I’d seen it a mile away]

Vector got Yuma on his side

[what a surprise that tricky bastard LIED]

We don’t talk about Vector, no, no, no!

We don’t talk about Vector!

(Durbe)

We’ve gone centuries putting up with his audacity

His bragging and his brashness push our patience past capacity

But I must admit, that in your absence, he’s made plans….

Plans that while elaborate have proved that he’s intelligent

And whate’er his motive is the outcome’s to our benefit

But then again, he is a master at all sleight of hand

Do you understand?

(Mizael)

See the full post

45 notes - Posted April 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[noforkingclue]

Hi, I was wondering if you write for BBC Sherlock? If not, could I have (Good Omens) Crowley with a human!reader and they help Aziraphale with his bookshop?

Yay, a Good Omens request! Hope you like it!

No, I don't write for BBC Sherlock. I enjoyed S1 (even though BC isn't my favourite Sherlock) but it just went downhill from there. Why did they have to have a secret sister? Why did Mary have to be a super spy with a dark past? Why couldn't they explain how Sherlock survived? What the fuck did they do to Irene Adler????

Sorry anon, I won't be writing for it.

Title: Emotions

Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary, @imjustassaneasyou, @spngingerbread21

It was easy to understand why Aziraphale liked you so much and it was all to do with books. The way you looked at them, the way you handled them and, most importantly, the way you handled customers. Well, you could hardly call them customers as they hardly ever, if ever, bought anything. You had a very effective glare that caused people to put down their would-be purchases and hurriedly leave with the feeling that they were about to commit a grave mistake.

Crowley leant against a book shelf as he watched you stack books. He looked up down your body as you stood on your toes to try and reach up to a shelf. The shelf was just out of your reach and you scowled as you once again failed to reach it. You glared at the book as though somehow it was its fault.

“Let me.”

You jumped at Crowley’s voice and gave him a confused look as he took the book out of your hand. You raised your eyebrows as he easily put the book away.

“Since when were you so helpful?” you asked

Crowley wrinkled his nose at your words.

“Not helpful,” he muttered looking away from you, “I was just getting tired of seeing you struggle.”

“Getting tired of…” you trailed off and gave him a sharp look, “Where you spying on me?”

“No,” Crowley said a little too quickly, “Just… keeping an eye on you. Didn’t want any nasty customers coming in here and potentially hurting you. You get all sorts coming in here.”

“All sorts,” you gave him a teasing smile, “Does that include yourself?”

And maybe that was why Crowley liked you so much. While you did have a lot in common with Aziraphale, there was an underlying sharpness to you that Crowley liked. He wanted to see more of it. He craved your smile and the occasional touch you gave him.

“Me,” Crowley gave you a look of mock hurt, “I would have you know that I’m a sain-“ he stopped himself and coughed, “Not as bad as other demons.”

“Hmm,” you took a step closer, “Is that why you helped save the world.”

“Self-interest,” he said, “There are things you humans created that are impossible to find elsewhere.”

“Why you’re helping out here.”

You shoved some more books into Crowley’s arms and gestured towards the bookcases.

“Can’t stand Angel’s looks,” Crowley sighed, “You know those ones.”

“All too well,” you agreed, “Or why you’re spending your time talking to a human.”

“Well, you do happen to be here love.”

“Aww,” you looked over your shoulder at him, “I never knew you that you were so nic-“

In a flash Crowley had dropped the books a put a hand over your mouth. Your eyes widened in shock as he leant down and whispered,

“Or maybe I’m not as nice as you think I am.”

“Y/n. Is everything alright? I heard books falling. Do I need to remind you how valuable those books are?”

In a flash Crowley had jumped away from you. You gave him a confused look before Aziraphale turned the corner. He looked suspiciously at the two of you before looking down at the books at Crowley’s feet. He gave Crowley one of his Looks as the demon sheepishly picked up the books.

“Are you ok my dear?” he asked you

“Yes.”

Aziraphale beckoned you towards him and put an arm around you.

“Sit down,” he said as he ushered you away, “And I’ll make you some tea.”

As you walked away, Aziraphale turned back to Crowley and gave him a pointed look.

“No more funny business,” he said sternly, “At least not here.”

“Funny business,” Crowley said as he leant against a book shelf, “You calls it funny business. What does that even mean?”

“You know,” the angel waved a hand, “Whatever you’re doing to her.”

“She isn’t your human.”

“And she isn’t your either.”

Aziraphale turned on his heel and walked swiftly away. Crowley just rolled his eyes as he slouched further against the floor. Who knew that a human could pull such… emotions from him?

#fanfiction #good omens #reader insert #request #crowley #crowley x reader

[malereader-inserts]

Let Your Soul Breathe

Fandom: Good Omens Pairing: Aziraphale x Male!Reader x Crowley Summary: Life is suffocating, sometimes you just have to stop and relax yourself. Word Count: 1,355 Warning: Undertones of Blood, Injury, Depression, Self Harm.

The supernatural isn’t really limited just to demons and angels.

You would know all too well about them, from a young age you were an unfortunate son of one of the greatest hunters in Europe. Meaning, that you were to be trained under them. You hated your childhood because you didn’t get much of one. 

The moment you were able to know what was wrong and right, you were taught how to handle a blade and how to handle a gun. You were still in school because your mother fought your father that you should have a basic education. She expected the best from you, after all, you came from a very strict household and as an only child - your parents looked to you as continuing the great name. 

You excelled in school as well as your parents teaching you each supernatural. You could argue that you had a boring childhood other than the exposure of blood and murder at a young age. As you got to high school, most weekends your dad would take you to hunts to learn about the supernatural physically.

By the age of sixteen, as you were ending high school, you had already made a name for yourself in the supernatural side of life. The kid that was merciless, the kid that had no emotion. 

You weren’t shy to kill, you never show any fear if you were caught out in a bad hunt. God wished to hate you but you were one of her dearest creation because after all, God is the only one who really truly see behind close doors.

How you often hate yourself, how you cry to yourself, how you would harm yourself if you did bad that day and your father wasn’t there to give punishment. 

Creatures often hide among the shadows and hear how your father abuses you, shouting and smacking you. Even the evillest creature would flinch at the sound of contact and they fear you because of how you respond.

“Thank you sir for correcting me,” You had a dull tone. 

When your father died alongside your mother, under mysterious condition, the supernatural had celebrated not for themselves but for you. Because tales had spread that you stood in the woods, unable to move, and actually appreciating the beauty of the woods.

For once, they heard you laugh.

They gave you a break, any monster would hate to admit that they cared a little too much about you. 

You continued your education in peace, well, as much peace you could give yourself. 

After all, you were still in that mindset that you were a hunter. So, even after excelling in your high school and sixth form, even earning your degree - you were still a hunter at heart.

As you grew up as a lonely man, you stumbled across a demon and an angel - the first to show empathy, well at least from the angel. And from years since you met, they were there pestering you.

Forming a friendship and a bond, eventually, a loving relationship. 

They taught you many things, and that you don’t have to shoulder the world. It was almost as if God was giving you a present, forgiveness for the pain you had to endure.

“(Y/n), darling?”

Aziraphale walks into your apartment with Crowley right behind him, next thing he saw was one of your boots barrelling towards him. Crowley caught it effortlessly as Azirpahale had dodged impact. 

“Leave me alone.”

They see that you have just returned from a hunt, you were tired and obviously angry. Most hunts, nowadays, were just you sleeping them off with minor injuries. It looks like you managed to cope with a bigger injury you had sustained, but you were in no mood for company.

“Yeah, no,” Crowley responded, throwing the boot to the ground as he grabs Aziraphale’s wrist to follow you to the bedroom. 

“Clingy,” You shouted at them, slamming your bedroom door at their faces.

As they open the door, they managed to catch on to your slight muffled moan, telling them that you had jumped on your head as you lie down. Aziraphale sighs, shaking his head as he struts towards you.

“I’m cleaning you up, you cannot be in bed in these filthy clothes.”

“It’s had worst on here.”

“Like what?” Crowley asked.

“Like cu-”

“I think that’ll be enough,” Aziraphale interrupts as he lugs you up into a sitting position, “Crowley, my dear, fetch some clean clothes.”

“Sure thing, angel.”

You rolled your eyes, for a demon Crowley is surprisingly obedient, though you allowed Aziraphale to strip you down. He cringes at your wounds as he held his hand over your body, allowing his miracle to close them up for easy healing. 

Aziraphale does not mention the cuts upon your arms, nor he mentions wounds looking like they were self-inflicted upon the thighs, he silently heals them knowing that he wouldn’t be able to miracle away the scars that will be left behind.

Aziraphale hands you to Crowley, who is less gentle than the angel as he dresses you up. Though, he doesn’t miss the chance to give you a boop on the nose and a sweet peck upon your lips. 

“Bad hunt?” Crowley asked, getting himself comfy at your side.

“Bad day, bad week, bad month, bad lifetime,” You exclaimed, though there was no anger behind your words anymore, there wasn’t the venom that they were greeted moments before, “I cannot wait for the day I die.”

“Now, don’t be saying that-” Aziraphale scowls at you, but you merely waved him off.

“You often forget that I am just human, I will die eventually. And if not by my own hands than so be it rather a creature of the unnatural.”

“Sweetheart, that’s the depression talking-”

“Then let it talk, let it infest my mind and rot the insides. I rather be dead than live this shit life.”

Crowley gives Aziraphale a pointed look, “Listen, babe, angel doesn’t have the best of words on this situation, he might come off as patronising but he means well.”

You grumbled as you turn your head to not look at your boyfriends, Crowley looks at Aziraphale who motions him to continue to talk.

“But, you shouldn’t be wishing your life away, after all, what is life if not lived at it’s fullest?”

“I never had the opportunity to do so,” You reminded them as Aziraphale placed excited hands upon your knees, making you look at him.

“Then, start now! It’s never to late too allow your soul to breathe. Tomorrow is a new day and I’m sure that the vampires, werewolves, and whatnot can find a new hunter to fight.”

“I can piss them off, entertain them, you know? You should really invite me to your hunts, babe, we’ll have a real good laugh.”

“Crowley, not now!” Aziraphale snaps as you chuckled, “Why don’t you sleep, we’ll be awake to watch over you.”

You were going to argue but there was a look in Aziraphale’s eyes that you did not want to tick off. You sighed as you shuffled down in the bed to lie down. Aziraphale lets out a joyful noise, you now understand why your demon boyfriend can be so obedient because your angel boyfriend can be terrifying. 

They sit in silence, waiting to make sure you have drifted off to sleep as Aziraphale and Crowley lie on either side of you. Crowley messing with your hair as Aziraphale had a book on his lap.

“Crowley, dear, do you think he’ll be okay?”

“He’ll be fine, (Y/n) is a strong lad,” Crowley replies, “Plus, he has us two, who better than us to take care of our dearest boyfriend.”

Aziraphale gives the demon a suspicious look as Crowley lazily smiles him off. Aziraphale knows that Crowley is up to something and yet he was somewhat terrified to know what it was.

So, you and Aziraphale pretend that you don’t know why the vampires, werewolves and whatnot are scared of a certain red hair snake demon, though it does fill you with entertainment to Aziraphale’s dismay.

#Aziraphale #aziraphale imagine #crowley x male reader x aziraphale #aziraphale x male reader #anthony j crowley imagine #anthony j crowley x male reader #good omens #good omens imagine #good omens x male reader #x male reader