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#ALL HEADERS BY ME ! DON'T REPOST !!
kazeofthemagun · 3 months
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🤔
[I know technically reposting art with proper credit and links is considered alright in the art community, but also I'm too shy to contact the Japanese artists for permission and don't know their stance on the subject ... ahh woe... Whaddya guys think]
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slowestlap · 11 months
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https://twitter.com/maxvcalloway/status/1668682963926523905?s=46&t=PINlVH0L42_07Xq8O1bbtA
someone is using your gif on twitter with no credit, just thought i’ll let you know because i know others on here are really annoyed by these certain accounts doing this
Hiya anon 👋🏻
Thank you for letting me know. This gif has now been reposted on twitter AND on tumblr, any other social medias some of yall would like to post it to? 👉🏻👈🏻
Anyways it's a bit of an "it is what it is" situation with twitter. Annoying but happens rather often so i try not to be bothered 😫 if i wanted my gifs on twitter, i'd post them there myself. And since i only have a personal account i haven't used in 8 years, there's not really a way for me to contact the people who do this. And i don't necessarily want others to contact them on my behalf either as i'm not sure msgs like that would be well received.
So yeah, really wish reposting AND cross-platform-posting would happen less but tbf it seems like it's more and more often and kiddos out there also be thinking "source: pinterest" is a valid way to source. Just in general this fandom (this generation?) has a problem with sourcing anything they post 😮‍💨 it's tough out here unforch 😑
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zalayni · 10 months
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⁶ ₆ HER WAY 𓏲࣪ . 𓂃 🌷
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𖦹 pairing: earth42! miles morales x reader
𖦹 summary: when you're not hanging out with the one and only miles morales then you're busy texting him instead.
𖦹 author's note: first post sorry if it's bad 😭😭
𖦹 next part
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scenarios without images ↓ (I reached my limit on images LMAOO)
he only has snapchat to text his friends, uncle aaron, and you.
if you guys have snapstreak best believe he's gonna send you random snaps throughout the day.
got mad when you accidentally lost your guys 200+ snapstreak. don't worry though you two soon regained the streak and surpassed it.
he also has instagram so he can like your posts.
if you have something written in the notes section he'll always find someway to reply to it even if it's just a song.
you tag him and only him in your Instagram posts and pin his comment.
he has one post and it was about you.
@ milesmorales commented on your post
“my girl 🫶🏿”
he sends you videos on tiktok because he finds clicking on links too much work.
you forced him to do the lipstick trend where you leave kiss marks all over his face.
if he's not sending you a tiktok he'll tag you in the comment section
don't get me started on this man and winning against you in iMessage games 😭
ESPECIALLY THE BASKETBALL ONE. he swears he's better than all the NBA players.
he'll send you voicenotes if he's too lazy to type. sometimes you can't listen to them because you're out in public so you make him type it out (he'll complain but would still do it for you)
FaceTimes you whenever. don't expect a warning from him once you hear your phone ringing you better pick up.
he'll text you as soon as he's off his prowler business
if he ever gets grounded he'll ever just show up at your home or he'll text you on his laptop.
one time he lost his laptop and had to text you through his tv. it took me 5 minutes to type down one sentence
miles 💋
inaminit
yourcontactname
it took you 5 mins to type that
.⋅. .⋅. .⋅. .⋅. .⋅. .⋅. .⋅. .⋅. .⋅. .⋅. .⋅. .⋅. .⋅. .⋅..⋅. .⋅. .⋅. .⋅. .⋅. .⋅. .⋅.
ıllıllı please do not steal, translate or repost my work on other apps.
art work in header made by koscribbls on instagram.
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kookslastbutton · 3 months
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Guilty Pleasures ༓ jjk, kth (m) | Series M.list
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✒ Summary: Three years of being Seoul's power couple earns you nothing but a big fat divorce settlement and your face plaster on every gossip column around town. You're angry, hurt, and desperately want to move on, but worst of all? You're still in love with the man who started the whole mess, even though the most he can ever see you as is a friend. The renowned actor you've hired to be your company's new endorser seems to have a soft spot for you though. He's easy on the eyes, you'll admit, but who actually wants a divorcee like yourself? It's unrealistic really.
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pairing: ex-husband ceo!jungkook x ceo!reader, actor!taehyung x ceo!reader (not poly!)
genre/AU: angst, smut, fluff, loverstoexesto ?, coworkers2?, unrequited love
word count: tbd
Warnings: oc and jk are both 30, Taehyung is 32, swearing, alcohol consumption, sexism in the media and business world, morally grey characters, toxic relationships, mentions of therapy, abandonment issues, and explicit sexual content (specified per chapter)
playing: Unkiss Me, Apologize, Hate That I Love You, etc.
a/n: ik what you're thinking! This header is low effort but it's what i got for now 😫 forgive me pls! Also yeah its another fricken taekook love triangle-ish bc I can't let this scenario go. Was supposed to be a oneshot but here we are...i hope you enjoy! 🌹❤
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Chapters
༓ chapter i —
"I lie to my heart 'cause I thought you felt it" [3.3k]
༓ chapter ii —
"You can't light a fire, if the candle's melted" [4.5k]
༓ chapter iii —
"No you don't have to love me"
༓ chapter iv —
"Don't act like I mean nothing"
༓ chapter v —
"Untake this heart"
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no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton
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vagabond-umlaut · 2 months
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hey, where is the pomegranate tree?
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unstoppable force, aka kore, aka gojo, meets immovable object, aka hades, aka you— nothing can ever go wrong from this collision, trust me— n-o-t-h-i-n-g.
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▸ gojo satoru x fem!reader; hades and persephone retelling [with a twist ;))]; 1.2k wc; stubbornly persuasive gojo; the reader is js so tired and annoyed [and tired]; enemies to lovers vibes[??]; talks of marriage and children; gojo thinks you are a fool, he is the real clown here
▸ pls don't glare at me if there is more than one inaccuracy here, haha. anyways, the header is from pinterest, the divider is by @benkeibear and the characters used ain't mine. pls don't plagiarize, translate or repost this. enjoy reading! ❤️
▸ update: this fic is now part of a series!!! wreaths of asphodel 😊😊
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"you shall spend the rest of your days in tears."
you're foolish; woefully so, gojo thinks, carefully observing you from his place on the chaise lounge, smiling while you continue seething, "and there will be no one who can save you. neither a hero nor a god. neither demeter nor zeus. no. one."
"but why do you think i will need saving, my rose?" the endearment rolls off his tongue like honey, the taste sweetening at the way your pretty lips dip into a deeper frown, "you're not a monster, are you?"
"no!" the defensive reply comes in less than a beat. though the words following it sound a tad less bold; it seems as if you're trying to make yourself believe and not scare him.
"i'm someone far fiercer— hades. the goddess of the dead. the queen of the underworld— and the cause for your misery should you choose to vex me any further."
"aw, no," gojo cries, decidedly making a show by slapping a hand over his eyes and faking a sniffle, "why must the only woman i want as my wife see me as an annoyance?"
then lets his hand drop down to the cushion, willing his eyes to well over with pitiful moisture. "as the god of life, i've only ever given and given– be it grains or fruits or vegetables or flowers– without asking anything in return— yet the first and only time i ask..."
he doesn't bother finishing his sentence, choosing to sob to add to the tragic atmosphere— though that doesn't mean he doesn't note the war of emotions on your face:
pity, confusion, anger, again confusion— you're so easy to read, to steer. very foolish, really.
"you'll not like living here," you eventually break the silence hanging within the room. your voice is much softer now; the god wonders if you sing. if you do, the muses will certainly be put to shame... "your days will be spent in utter boredom and gloom and tears–"
"– and no one can come to my aid then: yes, thank you," he interrupts you, more than a little tired, "you've driven the points too well into my head– so much so that i'm surprised there isn't a gaping hole in there, oozing blood and my brains. but why must you think i'll need rescue, huh??"
if a smidge of force escapes into his words, gojo decides not to pay it any mind— though only until he notices the small flinch you give– his insides twist and torment, quite inexplicably, thereafter.
"okay, look," he says, getting up from his slouch to move near you, but stops on catching the warning glint in your eyes.
"first of all, i'm not some damsel in distress being whisked away in a chariot here– i came here by own volition. and i'm offering my mind, body, heart, soul– the special package that i am, in fewer words– to you, by my own volition. why shall i want anyone to rescue me then?"
"besides," he proceeds to add, allowing an easy smirk to form on his face, "you're just the cute little goddess of the dead– not at all scary like your brother used to be; though i guess you try to imitate him in your glares, don't you? sukuna was quite notori—"
"don't you dare utter my brother's name, foul olympian," a quiet growl slashes gojo's comment, sending it plummetting to the ground— and making him understand why you, the inconspicuous, sheltered sister of the vicious former holder of the name 'hades', was given the crown, in the aftermath of your brother's banishment– instead of the several more well-known candidates...
"i apologise," gojo offers in the very next instant, making it as genuine as he can, "i never meant to upset or offend you. i'm sorry if i did."
you just stare at him for a beat, gojo watches, before your shoulders lift then fall in a sigh. the fire burning in your aura abates by a pinch.
sighing once more, you finally break your silence, "It's okay, and um– suppose i too should apologise. you might be an olympian but you're not as foul as them, no. please forgive me for calling you so."
"no problem, my rose," the god is quick to accept your words with a wave of his hand and a beam, further widening when he notices the sliver of smile on your countenance, "but does this mean i appeal to your tastes? i mean, you called me 'not as foul as them', didn't you?? did you just accept my hand in marriage, then???"
"no, i didn't..." your subtle smile disappears swifter than it appeared. a half of gojo's floral crown, quite inexplicably, wilts on the table before. he watches your eyes fall to it, then snap up to meet his.
"do you love me?"
not yet, but he thinks he can. you might be an idiot but you certainly aren't an unlovable idiot— and one voice in his mind murmurs, those precious, innocent looks of yours aren't even the main reasons why...
the god shoots back a languid smile. "if you want to see me in love with you, so be it."
"that's neither 'yes' nor 'no'," you point out, frowning, before vaulting your second query of the evening, "if we get married, do you want to have children?"
it won't be very unfavourable, if you both do... with the vivid colour of your eyes, or the adorable shape of your nose, or the radiance of your skin, or the— "if you want, i shall be happy to assist," he ekes out with a meaningful wink, albeit he doubts how much of it reaches you.
you're very foolish, after all... and no– it's not because of the awkward way he says it– no! not in the slightest! he wasn't fumbling at all!
you wrap the shawl tighter around your shoulders but don't move any further away, gojo notes. the same way he does the slight tint in your cheeks when you roll your eyes with a scoff.
"you're unbelievable, kore. truly, terribly unbelievable." you press the pads of your thumbs over your forehead before releasing it, gaze an unprecedented mark of sharp when it settles on his face.
"is there nothing you want from our union, eh? i refuse to believe you wish to marry me without any demands, as if on a mere whim– but if it is so, i ought to warn you, kore: my answer is and will always be one firm 'no'."
your words mustn't ignite this odd restlessness in him. they certainly mustn't— still, gojo finds his chest tight and the air heavy as he grins back and says, "i only want to be your husband, your majesty... but if that is too much for you right now–"
the stretch on his lips simmers down to something smaller. yet truer.
"i want you to call me by my name. my real name. can you do that, my rose?"
you don't say anything in response for a long while. so long, in fact, it makes the god wonder if you are ever going to reply to his request.
perhaps not, he thinks quite a bit down-spirited when you suddenly turn on your heel and with a swish of your long shawl, stride out the rooms– o-oh.
you stop just as abruptly at the threshold. a complicated grin shining on your face as you twist to look at him over your shoulder then say:
"good night, gojo satoru. pray the ghosts prowling these halls don't eat you up ere dawn."
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you're gone not even few feet away from the door, before gojo falls face-first into the bed, the entire room suddenly erupting into thousands of roses in all colors ever seen. [lolol, he is such a loser for you! xD]
▸ masterlist
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faexoxoxoxo · 3 months
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⋆.ೃ*:・ 𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄 ⭒๋࣭ ⭑ .ᐟ ᡣ𐭩 𝓌𝑒 𝒸𝒶𝓃'𝓉 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒, 𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝓂𝒾𝓈𝑒𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓌, 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝓌𝑒, 𝒷𝒶𝒷𝑒? 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝓂𝑒 𝒶 𝒹𝓇𝒾𝓃𝓀 ...
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ᰔ pairing : bartender! gojo satoru + fem! reader
✎⁠ Inspired by taylor swift's song delicate. been debating on if I should make this a one shot or series ultimately one shot seemed too rushed so here we are. updates will be slow. the fics can be read as standalones when I post them. some minor plot points might change because I'm a moody writer lol.
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ᵐʸ ʳᵉᵖᵘᵗᵃᵗⁱᵒⁿ'ˢ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵇᵉᵉⁿ ʷᵒʳˢᵉ...
scandal ridden, and heartbroken after your break-up with costar Naoya Zenin, you decide to drink away your sorrows at a newly opened club in Tokyo...
ᵖʰᵒⁿᵉ ˡⁱᵍʰᵗˢ ᵘᵖ ᵐʸ ⁿⁱᵍʰᵗˢᵗᵃⁿᵈ ⁱⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇˡᵃᶜᵏ...
getting a call at 3 am from your very handsome blue eyed hookup telling you to open the door, was a surprise; after all, you never gave him your number or address...
ⁱˢ ⁱᵗ ᵗᵒᵒ ˢᵒᵒⁿ ᵗᵒ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰⁱˢ ʸᵉᵗ... ?
things are moving too fast, and catching feelings was never part of the deal, so you do what you always do, run away. too bad Satoru's not a fan of being ignored...
ˢᵗᵃʸ ʰᵉʳᵉ, ʰᵒⁿᵉʸ, ᴵ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ʷᵃⁿⁿᵃ ˢʰᵃʳᵉ...
Satoru hates it when you have to shoot romantic scenes with your male costars, so he comes up with a new way to keep you in bed...
ᴵ ᵖʳᵉᵗᵉⁿᵈ ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ᵐⁱⁿᵉ ᵃˡˡ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵃᵐⁿ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ...
turns out Satoru's always been a fan of yours, even when you didn't really know he existed...
ᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ ᴵ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ⁱᵗ'ˢ ᵈᵉˡⁱᶜᵃᵗᵉ...
Satoru's been acting weird, like you might break if he holds you too tight. Finally, having had enough you ask him what the deal is...
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✎⁠ my inbox is always open if anyone has any ideas, random thoughts or anything really ♡
⚠ do not steal copy or repost any of my ideas and fics. this header is made by me so don't copy it. the dividers are by @chachachannah
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tizeline · 4 months
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All the Cool Kids have these introduction posts on their blogs so I’m gonna get one too!
Tizeline - She/Her - Digital Artist
Mostly fanart with some original art sprinkled in here and there
Pr*ship & Tc*st go awayyy
Tag navigation, FAQ and AU info under cut 👇
Tags
#tizel art - Art tag
#tizel talk - Me rambling about random stuff
#Tiz Sep AU - My dumb RotTMNT AU
FAQ
Can I repost your art? No! Please don't!
Can I use your art as a profile picture / header? Yes, I am fine with that! Preferably with credit
What do you use to create art? I mostly draw in Procreate on an iPad
What brushes do you use? This is something that changes as I like to switch things up sometimes, but lately I've mostly been using the Shale Brush in Procreate
What canvas sizes do you usually work with? Depends, on the drawing, but usually either A4 format (2480 x 3508 pixels) or a square canvas (ca 2000x2000 pixels). As a rule of thumb, I rarely go lower than 1000 pixels on either side. I always use 300 dpi.
What's Tiz Sep AU?
A seperated RotTMNT AU where Raph, Leo and Mikey were raised by Draxum and Donnie were raised by Splinter, check out the tag for more info!
Some highlights of the Tiz Sep AU
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(there's more to find under the hashtag, but if you don't wanna scroll through it all, here are some of the more important/interesting posts)
(ALSO! These are not in chronological order, they're in the order that I posted them, so they jump back and forth in the story quite a bit)
First Post (original concept)
Turtle Hands
Powerhouse Mikey
Donnie's complicated relationship to his brothers
Leo Fanboy Moment
Everyone sucks at names (including me)
Shelldon!
Leo-Brooding-In-A-Pizzeria Arc
- Run of the Mill encounters
- Jealousy
- Leo AND Donnie Fanboy moment
Overprotective Big Bro
Unusual Team Up
Raph + Casey Friendship Moment
Leo is a Poor Winner
Raph + Casey Friendship Moment PART 2!
Cell Talk - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
Little Bro...?
Separation anxiety and it's consequences - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
Gearing Up (Follow up to Cell Talk) - Part 1
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sharkfinn · 10 months
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MASTA POST YEEAAAAHHHHHH
this is how the cool tumblr kids do it right
a few things i like/you might see me post about:
tmnt, danny phantom, adventure time, final space, outer wilds, tf2, zelda, mlp:fim and other schtuff :3c
- you have permission to use my art for profile pictures or headers or whatever, as long as you credit me
- please do not repost my art elsewhere or use it to train ai.
TAG LIST
#sharkfinnarts - all my drawings (excluding little brother comic pages)
#sharkfinnfanart - other arts people have made
#little brother au - everything little brother au
You can multi-tag search!!!!!!!!!
for example - for my danny phantom art: "#danny phantom, #sharkfinnarts" or all the little brother fanart: "#little brother au, #sharkfinnfanart"!!!
2k dtiys
reference sheet for my sona! kachow!!
newer version
Little Brother
a rottmnt oc au fancomic by sharkfinn
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just a small warning beforehand, this comic contains a faaaiiir bit of angst and violence, i will balance it out with some more lighthearted stuff don't you worry
any helpful criticism or feedback is very welcome 💙
trying to update whenever i can!!
i hope you enjoy !!!!! :]
page 1
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1, 2, 3, 4, cover 2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, cover 3, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, cover 4, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28,
when is the next update? (info)
spots reference sheet
turtles name list
how old is spots?
voice claim
story related drawings???:
someone you didnt mention
is it okay to talk about it yet?
pre-rat king family doodles
big plans for you
missed you too
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pandoraslxna · 1 year
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✩ Masterlist | request guidelines | about me | my ao3 ✩
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⋆。° ✮ Before you continue:
✩ Minors dni ‼️🔞
✩ All characters that you will find here are either already of age or aged up! You will also find dark and mostly nsfw content on my blog. If any of that makes you uncomfortable, please just leave and block me. You have been warned.
✩ I will not tolerate hate, bullying, rude or disrespect behavior, racism or homophobia in any form. This is a safe and peaceful place for everyone.
✩ I don't give permission for any of my works to be copied, translated or reposted in any kind of way and to any other website! The same goes for my layout, headers and dividers– please don’t copy or steal them.
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❝ The most dangerous thing about Pandora is, that you may grow to love her too much. ❞ –J.S
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© PandorasLxna 2023
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hexonthepeach · 3 months
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perfume - k.dy
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pairing: f4!nct doyoung x fem!reader (past johnny x reader mentions)
genre: hana yori dango/boys over flowers/meteor garden/f4 thailand reverse harem au (mild allusions and characterization only)
warnings:
bully-to-friends-to-lovers, established relationship, polyamory, dom!doyoung, glucose father adjacent, scent kink, control over food consumption/bathing (for scent kink purposes only), gratuitous use of the l-word by anti-romantics, angst/feelings, flashbacks and history
🔞 edging, cockwarming, orgasm denial, oral (m/f receiving), passionate sex, rough sex, spanking, creampie, bukkake, consensual negotiated kink (degradation, somnophilia), anal play (f receiving)
wordcount: 20k
author's note: this is a doyoung-centered continuation of my ongoing F4 au. it can stand on it's own but i recommend reading Dive for more context. Doyoung's role in the F4 is Sojirou Nishikado/So Yijung/Ximen/Kavin (playboy control freak) so this fic incorporates elements of his secondary romance within the original/adaptations, now with y/n.
read on AO3
fic headers / dividers credit to @ saradika + please do not repost
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Freshman year, Kocher International. 
Head down in your books at lunch, trying so hard to escape scrutiny from above, you pretend to be no one. 
It shouldn't be hard to be nobody, otherwise ignored and immune to whatever social contract deliberates your life. In a better world you'd be invisible. It's a superpower you'd wish for much more over the usual playground answers of super speed or control of the weather. 
Let me be unobserved, you'd thought. Let me open a door and not worry about a bucket full of dirty mop water falling on my head or the inevitable posting of a grainy video of it, posted in a Telegram channel to fulfill some checklist made up by bored, rich monsters. 
Your four-generation-behind phone with its cracked screen proved useful in some regards; you never heard about these public pillories until some kind stranger sent you a screenshot of them, usually in the context of whatever plans they'd made to torture you again.
Every notification is already a pain, driving splintered glass into the pads of your fingers. Just now you're reading a text message from your father asking you to pick up more cheap instant noodles from the convenience store on your walk home to round out whatever scraps he's picked up from the local restaurant your mother bussed tables and cleaned dishes at when she needed extra money.
"Why is Saint Kim watching you?" your friend asks across the table. She's been looking up at the room this entire time, unable to give you even a moment of her attention or assistance to finish the English homework you'd been working on. You'd been rushing all day to finish it before afternoon class, after a late morning of delivery driving for your family's drycleaning business.
"Are you sure it's not the Devil?" you ask, parsing through the lines of a book you'd bought secondhand, trying to match verse for verse.
"No," she says, shaking her head when you finally look up. "Don't react. He's coming this way."
"Shit," you say under your breath, eyes flicking to your untouched lunch. "I need you to leave now. Take these trays and dump them and I'll meet you outside of 4th. If I make it."
You don't look up from your book as you mutter, but you follow her path and her hesitancy as she internally debates whether to heed your warning or watch from a safe distance.
Your handwriting becomes a scrawl of nonsense you have to cross out in sharp lines. You begin the verse again, holding your breath as you will your entire body and mind back to a manufactured calm. 
If you can't be invisible, you can at least play your role. You're copacetic by the time you see the tips of polished black wingtips beside you, before you hear the Saint clear his throat.
“Y/N.”
He drops a familiar, school-mandated clear cosmetics bag next to your ratty backpack. The already embarrassing stash of tampons and old chapstick has a new bounty including a "used" pregnancy test stick with a second line drawn in with pink gel pen jumbled into its contents.
"You left this . . ." he says, not finishing the sentence to indicate where he'd found it. You immediately hear a titter. Your flock of spectators is growing by the second and the useful idiot at its center seems wholly unconcerned.
"Thanks," you say, not bothering to look up or to even hide the bag. You keep writing, blindly, the English words just rounded shapes flowing from your shaking hand. 
Their kind fed off attention, your only defense is to starve them of it.
The Saint clears his throat, again. Apparently he’s not just unconcerned, he’s also unwilling to leave.
"Aren't you grateful Doie found it before someone else did?" You don’t have to look up to know it's Miranda who’s asked, glimpsing her manicure as she picks up your bag, green gems shining on perfectly-tipped nails. 
"Oh this must not be hers. I didn't think she could afford this."
You think she might be diving into the stash for one of the Lilies' pointed additions but no–you watch in horror as she plucks out the bottle of perfume you'd been carrying with you since your parents had gifted you a single, tiny box last Christmas. 
"Chanel?" she says, laughing. "No wonder you smell like my grandma."
"Probably a knock-off," another of the Lilies says. Ginger, by the sound of her grating voice. Her handwriting on the board in homeroom listing out your abortions is as familiar as the pink gel pen script on the extra large foil condom with xoxo slut written on it staring at you through the plastic.
"Definitely a knock-off. You have a nose, don't you, Doie?"
You look up, finally, at Saint Kim. He's alone for once–the other one, the Devil Kim that shadows him is still up on the second level, leaning on the railing over his shoulder. You watch the Saint’s small mouth turn into a moue of distaste, nose wrinkling at the proffered bottle.
"Authentic," he says, capping it before offering it back to you. Your field of vision is obstructed by that veined, pale hand–fingernails as perfectly groomed as the rich girls who surround him.
You reach up to take your most prized possession back only to find he doesn't let go, holding tight when you try to pluck it from his fingers.
"You should know . . . " he says, sniffing slightly.
You look up at him with alarm blazing in your eyes. Every word Kim Doyoung says to you writes your next damnation. You should ignore him, run, anything–but you can't look away once you've met his assessing gaze, his tall frame limned in the fluorescent cafeteria lights like he's carrying his own personal halo. 
Even seeing him at a distance every day can't depreciate how ethereally handsome he is. You know better than to swoon at that elegant face, night-black hair pushed away from his forehead. Beneath his family’s charities and his PR-scripted concern you know he’s just another ungodly creation birthed of nepotism and curated genes.
He leans in, carefully, musical voice a whisper. 
"You should know it doesn't suit you."
The laughter that follows is deafening.
No, you think. He's just as soulless as the rest of them.
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“What do you mean actually sleep?" you ask, coyly, unbuttoning your romper. "Like after we . . . ?"
"I've managed 6 hours of sleep in 36 hours, y/n–” Doyoung seems to hesitate, dark eyebrows raising, hand pushing his hair back from his pale forehead. He snaps his laptop closed, at last, shoving it to the farthest edge of the bedside table.
No–you think–not hesitation. 
Frustration.
You've seen this man before. 
All work and no play made Saint Kim into a Prince of Hell. He'd spent the first 8 hours of your date day half-present–the other in the 4 hours of sleep he's gotten since some crisis at his family’s headquarters in London that usurped your vacation. 
A whole 2 days in which he hasn't held you at all. His rules, his chance, but you can't help but wonder what has him so clenched that he's barely even touched you since your date began at 6 am Bangkok time.
You'd taken two extra strength melatonin and slept like the dead, anticipating his early-riser schedule. Only you and God had to know you'd fallen asleep next to your day tour fit ready to be fucked in it. 
You’d made yourself so pretty only to find him in the kitchen hunched over his phone, laptop softly pinging with notifications. Doyoung had still been dressed in the clothes you'd seen him in the night before, ending his conference call to laser in on you hovering in the kitchen.
"Are you upset?" Doyoung asked.
"No," you'd lied, pushing the piece of paper he'd left the staff on the counter, his English handwriting crisp and formal. "What’s this?" 
"We have a few dietary restrictions today," he’d said. 
"Are you saying I am what I eat?" You’d asked, taking a bite of a plump strawberry. "Is this some kind of prep?"
"It's for the date," he'd said, resigned. "Just be patient with me."
Then he'd smiled, disarming you with a casualness you hadn’t seen on him in a long time, rubbing his eyes blearily under his thick glasses. 
"Can we go back to sleep?"
And so you'd settled into his grasp on your made bed, scrolling Insta and waiting for the inevitable alarm–which turned out just to be Jungwoo delivering two iced Americanos in some gambit of checking your progress.
"Missed the floating market opening?" Jungwoo asked, eyebrows raised at the sight of Doyoung face first in a pillow.
You'd silently mouthed your thanks, leaving the drinks to sweat on the bedside table as you changed into your second outfit of the day, occasionally drifting in to check on your sleeping beauty.
It was a rare delight to have him so vulnerable beside you, blanket rucked up beneath his chin and his white teeth visible past the sweet curves of his mouth. Without consciousness your partner for the day is just Kim Doyoung, the gentler side of the same creature who you knew would often choose a couch to watch serial television with you over a day trip if you wanted it. 
But this was different.
Now instead of using his precious time to fulfill what you'd felt promised in his casual brushes against your back when you'd finally traveled out, or the way he'd stroked your leg at brunch under the table (every bite chosen by him, of course), you're being railroaded into lying still while he sleeps. 
Again.
You continue undressing, letting him drink in the sight of the lingerie set he’d left in your room. You knew it was custom made by the way it lifted each curve he’d already had access to, tailored for you as if every millimeter of your body was to account for.
Doyoung's cheeks are hollowed, lip chewed. He pulls his glasses down and regards you even more as you continue to undress yourself.
"You do know what the word 'nap' means, don't you?"
"I'm not the one who hasn't slept," you say. "At least let me get comfortable."
His stare pierces into you as you turn around, stripping for utility rather than give him a show he clearly hasn’t earned. You check yourself in the floor-length mirror beside the bathroom, viewing yourself through his eyes as you pluck the lace over your curves to sit just right. 
“Do you like it?” you ask.
You may as well be speaking to the floor when you turn around, finding him buried in the pillows only by the dark fall of his hair.
“You can’t be that tired,” you say. 
You're used to taking a late afternoon siesta in peak summer but you're far too excited to even consider sleep right now. For one, it's sweltering–windows open to allow the noises of hawkers and traffic not far off to drift in.
Second, you've never been more turned on in your life. 
You can still feel the tingling in your toes from when he’d slipped his hand up under the hem of your shorts, teasing at the velvety smooth skin on your inner thigh as you tried not to choke on your mimosa.
You make your way to the bed languidly, crawling up the thick white duvet with a teasing smile.
"Just stay on your side of the bed, please," Doyoung says.
"Oh," you say, collapsing on top of the covers beside him. "Well you're no fun." 
"And you're impatient and uncouth," he retorts in a way that makes you wonder if he really means it. 
"Will you at least hold onto me?"
"Too hot." He rolls on his back, flapping his half-buttoned shirt in the breeze from the fans. You sigh dramatically, collapsing into the pillows in the middle of the bed. 
"You should get naked, then.” You say. “Don't be modest on my account."
He opens one eye to glare at you, finding you relaxed and inviting beside him. His throat bobs, gaze flicking to the ceiling.
"That year of celibacy really took a toll on you, didn't it? Two hours. Indulge me."
"Please, sir," you whisper. "I've been such a good girl."
It had been a stipulation of the F4’s latest deal–24 hours for you to recover from your first night before the gauntlet began. Doyoung had been more than strict about the terms, leaving you your own set of instructions including–not surprisingly–not touching yourself.
Under normal circumstances you wouldn’t think about masturbation constantly, at all hours of the day. He may as well have told you to try not to think about a white bear for how powerful the intrusive thought had taken over since then.
"You'll get your reward. Later," he says. He's an impassable wall, stretched out beside you, so you content yourself with staring at his profile. Even under these oppressive circumstances you appreciate the light dusting of freckles on his cheek brought out by the sun, the dark lashes dusting his cheeks over the slight bluish marks of sleep deprivation.
"Yes, sir."
It only takes a few minutes for him to snap at you again.
"Stop that," 
"Stop what?" 
"Getting so handsy."
You hadn’t even realized your hand had drifted over the plane of his belly under his white shirt, too absorbed with watching the muscles in his cheek spasm as you inched nearer. 
"Can I help it when you're right there?" you ask. "I thought this was your–"
Doyoung rolls you before you can slither any closer, pressing your back into the sheets with his hands on your wrists, knees digging into your thighs. 
If the intention was to get you to stop being uncomfortably turned on it has the opposite effect: you let out a moan of pleasure, legs twisting together for friction. He slams them shut between his own, groin pressed into yours.
He's as hard as you hoped, and you lift up into him to let him know you know it.
"If you don't behave I'll have to cancel this," he warns directly in your ear, sounding as choked as you feel. "I thought you were already trained." 
"Trained to fight back," you correct, pressing against him with your own strength.
"That's not trained," he says, lifting up. "I'll blame your lack of experience and experienced partners. Nothing we can't work on. Until then you'll follow my rules or I pull you from the game. Understood?" 
You let a few beats pass, accepting there's no way out and you don't have anything to throw back at him.
"Yes, sir," you pout.
"Now that's a good girl," he says.
Just as quickly as you were taken down you're let go, inhaling deeply now that you're not being pressed into the soft bed. 
"You really don't want to play with me before you sleep?" you ask, brushing your lips against his chin as he crouches over you. You’d be a liar if you didn’t say you enjoyed the way his nostrils flare a bit, working his pink bottom lip between his teeth. Whatever arbitrary rules he’d set for your time together you can tell he’s at least regretting it right now, stiff length brushing against your bare leg as you lift your knee to test it. 
“Are you trying to make me punish you?” he asks, voice husky. 
"I thought you liked it when I was a brat," you say, cocking your head. 
Doyoung sighs, eyes half-lidded. "I do. But not when you're using it to avoid intimacy."
Your throat clenches, a hard knot forming in it you can't seem to swallow as your face gets even hotter.
“What are you talking about?” you ask. 
“I think you know what I mean,” he continues. “It’s not like we both don’t have a habit of using sex as a distraction from anything emotionally challenging.”
You gape up at him in disbelief. 
Of course you’d never been able to hide that aspect of your last relationship with him when he’d often been right outside the door. All of the F4 knew how many times your arguments with he-who-should-not-be-named-especially-not-while-in-bed-with-his-best-friend had ended in you shutting him up by any means necessary. Not that you didn’t enjoy it at the time–but rather you understood it wasn’t the most healthy template for a relationship. 
"I thought this wasn't going to be about feelings," you blurt out.
“Proving my point.”
Doyoung tsks, tapping your cheek with his fingers–nowhere near a slap but just as effective, soothing the spot with his thumb. Soon he’s brushing your tears away when they inevitably spring up and you have to turn to hide their seep into the mass of pillows.
"If I wanted therapy I wouldn't be here, Kim Doyoung," you say, trying to bury your face in the piles of soft down. 
“Shh, silly girl,” He gently pulls you out from hiding, soothing you with a warm kiss against your forehead when you stop struggling and let him hold you, releasing that surge of emotion and writing it off to hormones and the sting of rejection.
“You know I’m speaking to myself here, too,” he states softly. “Bear with me, I’m learning.” 
"Do you even really like me?" you ask, face pressed into his chest. 
It’s horrible to admit this specific insecurity but you can’t help it. Being abandoned multiple times in your life when you’d finally, finally let your walls down would damage anyone’s trust. You’d hoped this day with him would be easy and carefree and light, not dimmed by the shadows of your anti-romantic histories. 
"I adore you, actually." He settles partially on top of you, leg wrapped over yours as he props himself up on his elbow. "Which is why I want to start this right. You wanted the F4 boyfriend experience. This is mine."
"Last I checked you’ve never seriously dated anyone," you groan, sniffling. 
"Last I checked, neither have you." 
Well, that connects. You swallow your fears, relaxing into the cage of his embrace, retreating a little from the vulnerability of being exposed.
"What kind of girlfriend experience were you expecting, then?"
A lazy smile gusts across his features. You can't help but find it a bit sinister after being handled so indelicately. 
“I don’t always know what’s going on in that empty little head of yours." He accompanies his statement with a brush of his thumb across your flushed cheek, tracing your semi-parted lips in a way that sends sparks down to your core. 
"I’d like to stop guessing and actually get you to let me treat you the way you want to be treated. Have you ever asked yourself what you want?"
You panic a little, considering his words. Living with disappointment had made this question a hard one to even consider. 
"I just want a good time. Isn't that what you want, too?"
Doyoung seems to ignore your ask, drifting into a relaxed state against the pillows. His hand traces the hairline at your temple. "You know I worry about you. All the time, actually.” 
His voice is lower, a little wistful, and it’s doing just as much as the slight brushes of his fingertips to make you throb all over again. A lack of sleep must have made him delusional, you think. This is not the Kim Doyoung you know.
“You’re always thinking of how to take care of the people around you, I think you’ve forgotten how to relax and let other people take care of you.”
"Is that why you're always involving yourself in my business?" you ask, matching his tone in how breathless you are. You expect a quip, not the sincerity written on his face when he swoops in to press a gentle kiss against your lips, too fleeting to be anything but sweet and sincere. 
“What do you think I’ve been trying to do all this time? It certainly wasn’t just to get into your pants. I want you. All of you.” 
You're taken aback by his honesty. You'd always suspected his constant meddling in your affairs came from a place of interest but you'd never wanted to give him too much of a response–maybe a little afraid his fickle nature and fear of commitment would mean he’d give up on your friendship, too. 
Another thing you knew about Saint Kim: he had a tendency to run like a frightened rabbit at the first sign of emotional neediness in his partners. You'd never given him reason to believe you expected anything from him, but you'd also stopped fighting him on giving you what he desired to give.
It wasn’t just presents or expensive experiences, of course. He’d found out quickly those weren’t welcome without some cajoling. No–his art was in knowing what you needed even before you realized it, nudging it across your path. 
You’d figured out his deviousness after the umpteenth time someone was charitable at your little florist shop part time job, offering to fix your scooter in exchange for a nice arrangement for a proposal. As soon as you’d seen the fully restored bike outside and the customer didn’t return your texts you’d called Doyoung, completely unsurprised to find he was at the coffee shop next door, waiting to pick up his flowers.
“Stop being so nice to me,” you’d said. “It makes me uncomfortable.”
“What makes you think I’m giving you charity,” he’d responded, dropping a department store bag and your own custom coffee order on the counter. “You’ll wear this when I come to pick you up tonight at closing, including the jewelry and perfume. I need you to play your part again. The flowers are a consolation for the heart we’re breaking.”
He’d enlisted you as his defacto “new girlfriend” for the more difficult separations, and though you’d gotten your share of a glass of expensive wine thrown in your face more often than he ever experienced it (his type always went after the easier target) it wasn’t like he didn’t have a replacement dress ready and a nice dinner waiting after you’d cleaned off the Chateau Lafitte Rothschild. 
You have to face the fact that no matter how many times he’d treated you like his girlfriend, you’d never actually expected him to want you to be one. 
“I’ve waited a very long time for this, Y/N. Which is why I want our first time together–alone," he adds quickly. "–To be special."
It's difficult to believe him but you're spellbound all the same, watching pink dust his cheeks and his ears turn a shade darker as he most likely realizes how ridiculous it is considering him fucking you senseless the other night with the help of two other men. 
But you can empathize with his anxiety. Yesterday's Thai massage he'd arranged had helped you work out the flight or fight of anticipating being alone with him. It’s back now, but different. The way he's looking at you makes you feel infinitely naked, infinitely unlocked.
"What do you mean special?" you ask, wary, hoping to see some glimmer of uncertainty or falsehood in his gaze. You want to believe it's a lie or just some artful prank, trying to ignore your heart flip-flopping in your chest. 
It’s a mistake to let him see you squirm considering it’s Doyoung’s drug of choice–his lips twist into another menacing grin as he plays with the charm on your necklace. Another of his little gifts.
"Do you think you can handle it?" Doyoung asks, dripping self-satisfaction. “Or are you going to chicken out on me?”
You turn over so he can't see your expression, realizing he’s throwing your own words from the night before right back at you.
"I haven’t decided if I want to date you, yet,” you say. 
"Maybe not," he says. "But you'll have to pardon me for wanting to show you this good time you supposedly want while also treating you decently. Unless we're no longer friends?"
"We are," you say, biting your lip, "even if you enjoy torturing me."
"Torture?" He laughs, breathy. 
"Metaphorically speaking."
"You have no idea, do you?" You can feel the edge of his glasses as he bites the place where your clavicle connects to your shoulder, his hand snaking around your bare middle.
"You could show me," you invite, mid-gasp, as your body responds to his long-awaited touch. His fingers are almost cool in contrast to the heat in the room, tracing circles in your skin that have you squirming. 
"Is that a challenge?" he asks.
Why not?
"We don't have to have sex," you offer. "Maybe you could just–"
"Shh," he says, fingers skimming lower. "My terms. Are you going to stay quiet for me?"
You nod into the comforter, breath hitching as he touches you through the thin layer of your underwear, veined hand flexing as he molds the damp fabric to your body. It's such a delicate pressure but he's already memorized your shape, index finger sinking into your folds, gently rubbing a ring around your throbbing clit.
You're sticky and swelling with each pass, entranced by how good he is at teasing you, cherishing the way he sucks in his breath when he pushes into the indent of your hole.
“Doie,” you whine, leaning back into him, trying to get him to kiss you as he laughs into your hair. 
“Quiet,” he reminds you, kissing your cheek and teasing the seat of your underwear where they're soaked the most. "You want to take these off?" 
You shake your head, sensing it would be too easy of you to give in.
"That wasn't a question," he says, tugging down the band, leaving them trapped tight around your thighs. "I don't want you to wear them until I tell you that you can." 
You feel your core clench at the way his voice cracks, his fingers sliding back up to slowly and delicately draw a thread of moisture from your bared slit. You whine a little when he stops touching you, bringing his fingertip to your lips.
"Taste it." 
You let your mouth fall open, let him run it over your tongue, beginning from the middle and swirling over it. 
"Describe it," he murmurs. "If I like your answer, maybe I'll indulge you more." 
"Salt," you say, immediately. 
He tugs your hair, making you meet his eyes. 
"Have I taught you anything? I want specific notes. Flavors." 
You're transported back to the time he'd taken you to your first (and last) wine tasting. Spitting into a bucket and being lectured about body and tannins and soil conditions was the last thing you'd wanted to do after an hours-long trip to a vineyard but you'd indulged him, allowed one glass of what he considered the only drinkable wine on the premises. 
An unrefined palette, he'd called you. 
"Fruity and floral," you make up. "A nice lingering finish. Want a taste?" 
He looks down at you behind his glasses, equal parts amused and unimpressed. "Did you use the soap I asked you to?" 
Your brain glitches at that. Had you? You'd been in such a rush to go out–
You gasp when he palms your breast, squeezing the meat of it through the breathable fabric of your matching bra.
"I'll take that as a no," he says. "I guess you're not ready." 
He rolls off of you, leaving you in a lurch as you realize your legs are locked together by your underwear. You move to remove them, taking off your bra as well to avoid the awkwardness of being partially dressed.
By the time you're done you realize he's on his back, the hand that had been stroking you buried in his loose khakis. 
"What are you doing?" you ask, more than a little pissed off at the sight of him masturbating as if you aren't ready and willing to assist beside him. 
"Getting ready for our date. You can watch. No touching." He cracks an eye to look at you before closing it again. "Either of us."
"Are you edging me, Kim Doyoung?" Your menacing tone is entirely natural.
He hums a bit, working himself at a more punishing pace, knuckles peeking out from under his boxer briefs with each full pass over his length.
"Can't even look at me? Afraid you'll lose control?" You sidle down on the bed, beside his tensed thigh. You can smell a bit of the ozone on him from a morning in the sun, your knees knocking into his calves when you move over him.
"I don't trust you," he says, voice deeper than you've ever heard it.
"Is it touching if you finish on my face?" you ask when he finally blinks up at your presence, hovering over him with your breasts dangerously close to his clothed thighs.
"Absolutely not."
"Not touching–"
"Just. Watch," he orders.
He pulls himself free from his pants, surprising you with how dark and weeping his tip is as his thumb encircles it. Pools of white precum spatter on his lean, pale belly, your head dipping dangerously close–
"I said watch." He grabs at your hair, denied when you bend up again, showing him your dirty tongue.
He groans, fingers clenching air. "You were put on this earth to test me, weren't you?"
Still, he doesn't break his attention on the way you roll the drops you'd licked from his clean skin in your mouth, swallowing once you've fully enjoyed the taste.
"A little sweet you say," teasing him. "Drinking pineapple juice?"
"Brat," Doyoung says, but he's almost gone–eyes dark with desire, gently gripping your skull as you continue to ease in.
You're a master at following his lead, blowing a breath over the spot you'd licked, and then his length until his movements slow, cherishing the way you hold your mouth over his cock.
"If you can't give me what I want, then at least give me a taste," you say, sticking out your tongue in offering. You love the way he responds to the sight, needy and losing it when you hold eye contact, drilling into him.
"No," he echoes, weakly. He's too smart to push into your open mouth, instead driving his hips up to fuck his fist as you watch his glasses slide down his nose, eyes clenching shut. 
"You're no fun," you say. "Just a little swallow can't hurt?"
"No. Don't want to ruin it," he says cryptically, making a choked noise as you brush his fingers with your nose and he has to pull you away.
"I promise you it . . . It will be worth it," he manages. His jaw clenches as his movements relax, finally in control of you both.
"It better be," you say. 
You lower your lashes as your eyes flick between his cock and his face, stretching out your tongue to the point that drool begins to drip down your chin, splashing on his whitened knuckles and the tight stretch of his balls peeking out from his underwear. He bites his lip, breath holding as he starts to spiral.
The first thick rope of white rockets up his half-bared chest. Soon he's spurting even more, cum reaching his rucked up shirt, a little getting on his glasses. 
He's so out of it he doesn't fight as you wrest out of his limp hold. You clean up the sticky mess on his skin with your tongue, his abdominal muscles twitching under the light flicks and drags. 
"Want to give me some notes?" you ask, straddling him without resting any weight down, taking off his glasses. This time when you move to kiss him he rises weakly to meet you, lips parting to accept what you haven't swallowed. 
In truth, he tastes wonderful. Coffee, a little menthol from toothpaste and a hint of the watermelon you'd shared earlier mix beneath the coat of his spend.
He licks into your mouth until you moan, your body throbbing with unfulfilled pleasure. You follow him as he sinks back into the pillows, enjoying having him at your disposal, your core leaving wet trails on his thigh when you brush against the fabric.
"I'm going to wait until you're asleep and use you if you don't help me get off," you threaten, pressing soft kisses to his slack face. It’s no use. Doyoung has passed out again, lower teeth visible as he snores softly, forehead sheened with drying sweat.
Fuck it, you think. 
You ooze off of him to take your second cold shower of the day, and maybe get acquainted with one of the fancy showerheads in his massive walk-in while you use his special soap. 
It's not–technically–touching yourself.
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Your mystery destination isn't an unknown–it's in every tourist booklet and blog you'd skimmed before your trip, thinking you'd be on your own to find a good spot to traverse to. But it still takes your breath away the moment the car door opens in the sprawl of motorbikes and delivery trucks and Doyoung takes your hand to pull you into Paradise.
Pak Khlong Talat is a bustle of energy well after dark, the time you know its treasures are delivered fresh and unbloomed, wrapped in newspaper and steeped in crushed ice. For as far as you can see the market sprawls along Chak Phet road, but even more overwhelming than the sights and sounds is the scent. 
Jasmine, roses, lavender. Thousands upon thousands of blooms strung up and tended to by night owl vendors, delicate arrangements hand-sewed by artisans streetside into garlands so well-crafted Doyoung has to tug you to keep you moving, onwards to some other unspoken destination. 
"I was worried you might hate flowers after working with them for so long. I take it you like it?" he asks, indulging you when you ask if you can take his picture at a particularly lovely hang of garlands, the purple-blue light perfect for the film you'd loaded into your father's old camera. Photography had never been your craft, but after your dad had passed you'd made an effort to capture more of your memories, cherishing what you'd taken for granted before.
“It’s perfect,” you say, admiring him through the viewfinder. "But can you look like you're having fun?" 
Your model is stiff, mouth a moue as he checks the street for other observers or a possible collision with a laden handcart. 
"Fun?" Doyoung asks, and you snap his picture on the offbeat, enjoying his look of surprise. 
“Like you've taken your date to one of the most romantic places on earth, after buttering her up with a night cruise of Chao Praya and finally letting her eat real food." 
He sniffs at a fall of marigolds, a smug look on his face that you commit to film, right before he sneezes. 
"For the record, we're eating after this. Som tam hardly counts as a meal, I just didn’t want that drink going to your head." 
You're shepherded through the vast warehouse of the main market, to an adjacent street, and into a non-descript building painted in a funereal white.
"Are we even allowed to be here?" you ask, once the key code is entered and you enter the strange business. 
"I called in a favor," he says, taking your hand, leading you up a metal staircase past a simple storefront of dried blooms and shelves laden with boxes and bottles alike.
An apothecary? An alchemist's shop? The purpose of the space eludes you.
"An atelier," Doyoung explains. "One of the most sought out in the world."
There's the distant hum of the city outside and a central air you're unused to in this climate but the upstairs is quiet–by all accounts either an office or a laboratory, or a mixture of both. The central working area is a chaotic but organized space filled with tables of glassware and dried floral arrangements contrasting potted orchids, small beakers of coffee beans littered amidst rows of labeled brown bottles.
"So this is how they make perfume," you say, inspecting a stoppered bottle labeled "Gerianol 10%".
"Not just any perfume. The best. Here." Doyoung leads you to a much less cluttered workstation, the desk arranged with the lights still on, a note detailing some instruction you can barely read before he slips it into the pocket of his slim-tailored pants. Beneath it is a notebook, scrawled with a perfect cursive English you recognize from the cards he’d included in boxes or bags whenever he’d bothered to claim their contents. 
"Sit," he instructs. You think he means the comfortable chair but before you can sit down he presses you to the desk, caging you in. 
"Sit," he repeats, hands on your hips through your slinky skirt, lifting you to the bench. You scoot back, carefully, the white blooms of some exotic flower brushing against your cheek until he can move the vase a careful distance. 
"Do you understand what we’re doing here?"
You can't possibly know what he means, eye level with the graceful column of his neck and his exposed collarbone beneath his translucent button-down, drowning in the melange of scents but most especially his clean, neutral cologne. 
"No," you say, honestly, heart beating fast. 
He picks up a corked flask from some kind of metal scale, dipping a thin thread of paper into it to waft it a fair distance from your nose.
"Before we came here--before you even agreed to this trip–I sent instructions to my friend for a specialty blend of their creation. It took quite a bit of back-and-forth–I even visited here last month to take a private class and make sure we prepared the base and middle to your standards."
"For me?" 
You feel dizzy, reaching out to take the sample and smell it again, his hand capturing your own before you can bring it too close to your nose. He wafts it for you, expectant as you absorb the details.
Indeed, it smells divine–exactly the kind of warm, bright notes that make your heart feel at ease. There’s something floral and citrus worked in, not too heavy, the finish leaving you with an impression of a lazy summer afternoon. 
“It’s beautiful,” you say. “Did you make this to match what you knew I liked?”
"Yes.” Doyoung exhales, looking almost sheepish. "I had some references. That cheap shampoo you never stop buying, the Lush exfoliator with the orange blossom, even–" he shudders a bit– "that awful Chanel you doused yourself in, in high-school."
"Coco Mademoiselle," you say. "It's been years since I–"
"It didn't suit you," he says, standing up to sample another bottle from the neat row. 
Something dawns on you, a distant memory locking into place.
"It was you," you gasp in realization. "You're the one who got rid of it. I should have known when you tried to give me that bottle of Jo Malone–"
“It had already turned. You need to store your scents away from direct light.”
“It was a keepsake!” There were very few possessions from your youth that you’d been able to hold onto–not only because your parents had been barely able to afford your school uniforms, much less gifts. What little you’d had was lost when your house was destroyed by the men your father owed money to, this small thing neglected in the destruction.
“It didn't suit you because it wasn't made for you," he continues. "You wore it because you thought it would make you fit in, when you should have made what you wore wear you–"
"Please, stop."
You have to bite your lip to the point of pain, remembering how excited you'd been to unwrap that tiny bit of luxury your parents had saved up to buy you, your mother sure the brand name would save you from another day of humiliation. You didn’t have the heart to tell them that the cutout ad from the magazine on your wall was for the model, not the actual perfume, but you felt loved by the gesture all the same.
Hundreds of thousands of won an ounce for it to only turn on your skin, well before afternoons spent on the basketball court under the thankless sun. That memento had aged from pink to a sickly rose unused on your cosmetic shelf, a totem from a time when you imagined yourself belonging. Before it had disappeared, like so many other things.
You can't remember the last time you'd worn anything, had never even gone near that section of a department store after the humiliation of being made fun of for smelling cheap.
“My dad skipped lunches and my mom worked double shifts to get that for Christmas my first year in Kocher,” you say. “Mira was the brand ambassador for that campaign, you know.”
Mira had been your idol even before you won the scholarship she’d established to attend Kocher. Perfect, beautiful, but most of all the first girl in their sphere to show you genuine kindness.
"It must be so easy for you," you say, wiping your face. You rarely cried these days but that memory was particularly painful, a reminder of how often you’d assumed Doyoung found you just as offensive. Not just your scent, you thought, but you.
Something to be tolerated. Below his regard. 
"Whatever you want, you can have. Whatever you don't like, you can get rid of. I'm sorry, I don't live in your world. I can’t just throw something away when it’s not useful."
"No," he says, quietly, abandoning his explanation. "That was thoughtless of me. I can replace it–"
“Can you?” You glare up at him. “Is this what you really want? To dress me up like your perfect doll and feed me from your hand so I’m more able to suit you?
Doyoung looks like he's going to be ill, every design in his head unraveling before your eyes. You’d feel sorry for him if you didn't know this was a lesson worth imparting.
"Don't ever offer to replace what you don’t know the true value of," you say, voice trembling.
There's a weighted silence as he considers his next words. You still haven't slipped away from him, choosing to hold your ground. How many times had you been forced to be the antagonist in some fruitless class warfare, unresolved? But then you also had a habit of finding battles in peacetime. 
You pluck the newest scent strip from his frozen hand and waft it between you, at the designated distance.
“Thank god this smells nothing like it,” you murmur. You offer him a wry smile, anger fading. “I couldn’t stand it.”
You feel Doyoung’s relief as he collapses against you, forehead against your hair as his arms wrap tight around your middle. You relax after a bit, cheek pressed to his collarbone as you breathe in his unique scent–a little like fresh laundry left out in the sun.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “All these promises and plans and stupid details and at the end of the day I really . . . Don't know what I'm doing."
"I really don’t know what you’re doing, either," you say. "But I like that you try.”
"You do?" The hope in his voice makes your iciness melt a bit. You let your hands twine around his neck, feeling the tension in his shoulders ease with the gesture.
“I know it’s not easy for me to admit but I do appreciate everything you do for me, Doie,” you say. 
He doesn’t respond in words but you savor the shift in his demeanor, like a weight has been lifted from him. You think even he didn’t know it was there. You ignore the glassiness in his eyes when he pulls back, choosing to look at his notes instead.
“Are these all the ingredients?” you ask, working out a few of the more familiar words. “What’s op–?”
“First things first,” he says, rolling up his sleeves.  "Did you touch yourself?" 
"No," you say, surprised by the shift. "I followed your instructions. No products with scents. No underwear."
You spread your thighs to make your point. His hands hike your skirt up, over the breadth of skin to your hips and then to the curl of your belly, his breath hitching as he finds you already glossy.
It had been a bit of a gambit considering your riverside excursion but he'd allowed you a lemongrass-based repellent–the scent of which is still clinging to your bare skin as he kneels down to press a kiss to where his fingers had traced earlier.
You jerk a bit, conscientious of the workspace as he spreads you, just that light touch making your nipples harden beneath your thin shirt and bra.  
“Are we allowed to–”
“Shh. Relax and try not to spill anything,” he interrupts, breath cooling your wetness. “I just need some inspiration.”
“What?” 
"You’re so good already," he says into your sex, spreading you so he can lightly tongue at your skin. “Perfect little flower just for me.”
After waiting so long, you're torn between begging and shoving his teasing licks away, hand threading through his raven hair as the notebook slips from your hand.
"Kim Doyoung–” you gasp as he spears his tongue through your upper folds, nose nudging the sensitive bud. “–if this is another round of teasing I will murd–”  
You yelp as he hunches down to wrap your legs around his shoulders, hands re-occupied by exposing you as you try to stay upright. 
“Don’t worry. You can come like this. I want to know if you taste different after.”
You don't know what he means until his mouth closes over your clit, sucking just right. You jolt, pinched on the meat of your thigh until you can relax again, making little mewls as he rolls his thumbs alongside the point of contact.
“I want you inside of me,” you beg, feeling that fluttering sensation that heralds a build-up. “I wanted to come with you inside me.” 
“Soon. Just need to be good while I sample you.” 
“Sample?” Your hand sinks into his hair in panic, tugging, but Doyoung is too lost alternating between suckling at your sex and palpating you with a circling thumb, his beautiful hands gripping your thighs to keep you spread.
“Drip for me, first.” 
“I don't think I can–”
“You giving up already?” Doyoung scoffs, smirking up at you with reddened lips, tongue-tip darting against your clit. Every brush of soft muscle makes you spasm a bit, belly tightening unfulfilled.
You shake your head, panting. “I just . . . Doie I want you inside me.” 
“You can relax and take it,” he says, tongue wrapping around your labia, sucking slightly. Your head is buzzing, every stray thought removed by his exploration of you.
“Relax. If you don't I'll just have to try until you're begging for me to stop.” 
“No, please, Doie. I'll be good,” you plead. “Just . . . need something inside. Hurts so bad being empty.”
“Hand me a pipette.”
“What?”
“The one that looks like an eyedropper,” he says, hand open to accept like he’s performing surgery. You fight to find the right glassware with his mouth still on you, efforts more focused and intense as your legs tense with each hit. You find the rubber-stoppered glass cylinder, stomach dropping. 
“Is this safe?” You ask, gripping his mussed hair tighter when he pulls away for a moment.
“If you hold still, yes,” he taunts. You seize when you first feel the tip slip inside you. The glass is cool but warms to your body heat quickly, too slim to feel anything.
“Good girl,” he says. “You’re even pushing this out, you must be so tight.”
“I am. Too tight,” you groan. “Please don’t tease me anymore.”
He ignores you, focusing on his work, pulling the instrument free when he’s satisfied.
“Not bad,” he says, dropping it on the desk beside you before he’s back on his knees with his nose buried in your cunt. “Bet you can do better than that.”
“No, please, I need you–”
“Then drip for me,” he laughs into your leg, tracing the wetness down the crease in your thigh. You tense your hold on the desk’s edge when you feel his tongue prod at your entrance, muscle breaching your hole to lick into you. He makes a satisfied noise in the back of his throat that has you plummeting just as he resumes stroking your clit through the slippery coat of your arousal. 
Finally, you think, feeling the advent of tears for how wound tight you are, how desperate you are to feel him give you just one more point of contact with the ache inside.
“Oh god, don’t stop, please don’t stop,” you repeat, the noises obscene as he drinks you in, other hand on your hip to hold you against his face. It’s not even the stimulation that makes you begin to come but the audible groan he releases as he feels you quake against his mouth, heels snagging on his shirt when the first wave breaks and those little tics inside you turn into powerful contractions around his tongue-tip taking everything you can give him. 
He keeps licking you even when you’re begging for him to stop, nose tracing down to catch a stray drop from the back of your knee with a playful dart of his tongue. 
“Was it worth it?” you ask, folding over him as he wipes his mouth clean in your drenched skirt. You know it’s just the start but you already feel wrung out and feather-light, wicking away the sweat that’s beaded on your own face despite the cool, dry air of the room. 
“Hmm?” he hums a bit, disentangling to stand up and hold your face in his hands. His pupils are blown, sweat beading on his temples, but he looks as satisfied as you hoped he would be, your arousal drying on his slender features.
“All the prep,” you say. “Isn’t that why–do I taste as good as you expected after all that?”
Doyoung looks down on you, amused. Already you feel like you’re heating up again, with how his dark eyes flit to your mouth and back up again. 
“You think I prefer you prepped?” he asks, angling his head down besides yours to whisper in your ear. “The next time I eat that perfect little pussy of yours I want it to be filthy.” 
He traces the lobe with his teeth for good measure, pulling another moan out of you. “I’ll even make sure to wait until the other two have a go at you, first.”
You feel your heartbeat stutter as he presses his lips to your pulse point, tongue darting past his lips to dab at the sweat there.
“No, precious, I wanted to make sure the perfume we make tonight matches all of you.” Doyoung’s nose brushes your ear as he breathes in your scent. “Every time I wear it I’m going to remember the way you sounded when you first came for me and me only.”
The promise of it has you feeling a different kind of heat, dizzying for how much you want it to last past this night. 
“Fuck,” you whisper explosively, eyes clenched shut to stay fixed upright, fisting the thin material of his collar as he pulls you from the countertop and against the hard planes of his body. “I need you. Now. Please.”
“I like hearing you say that,” he chuckles a bit. “But I’m going to make you earn it. You can wait a little longer. You made me wait years, after all.”
You let him guide you into his lap, in the chair, pushed into the desk as he opens the notebook to another page. And another, until you take over and explore it for yourself. In the dim golden light from the street outside you catch glimpses of colors and drawings, notes written of impressions and memories you’d all but forgotten in your haze of grief these past few years. 
There’s even photographs taped to some of the pages–ones you know well by the fact that they’d been taken on your camera. Doyoung didn’t have Jaehyun’s artistic training but he did have an eye for capturing candid moments.
November, your first year of college. You’re standing in the first snow of the season, catching flakes on your tongue. You can still feel the burn of them, hear the murmur of the city dulled in a fresh blanket of white and taste the roasted yam you’d eaten, tossing it in your mittened hands until it was cool enough to peel. 
Doyoung’s shoulder is off-kilter beside yours, unable to capture himself in the frame for all his long reach. The peek of the striped scarf you’d knitted for him in gray and blue is all that’s visible of him under his peacoat, the mismatched weave of it captured even in this poor exposure.
“Base note: cedarwood,” you read, carefully, eyes hazing a bit with emotion. Evergreen.
“I still have it, you know,” he murmurs against your temple. “I only stopped wearing it because it started unraveling.”
“I’d make you another but I quit knitting after making three scarves,” you say, wryly. “Well two and a half, actually, I ran out of yarn on Jungwoo’s and made him a hat instead.”
“I thought you were just trying to get him to hide that ridiculous military haircut,” Doyoung muses. “Keep going or we’ll be here all night.”
“Now you’re impatient?” you ask, cementing your flirtation by shifting in his lap. You can’t ignore the feeling of his erection folded against the curve of your ass, or the way he grunts when you find a better seat with it nestled between your thighs.
“Sometimes I forget you were put on this planet to vex me,” he says. You’re lifted up by the waist, a hand on your lower back the moment you’ve found the desk for support, face above the book. 
“Why don’t you try reading until I’m satisfied you know exactly what you’re getting?”
You don’t fight him, elbows bent as he rucks up your skirt. You feel your face grow warm with blood as you find yourself exposed to him again, locked in by his legs and his groping touch reaching up beneath your shirt. 
"Base notes: amber and–" you have to fight to keep your voice steady as he swats your exposed curves, hard enough to sting. 
"Ambergris,” he corrects, voice fried with delight.
“Ambergris,” you repeat. “And white musk."
"Good. And?"
"Bisabol–" you begin, corrected with another slap on your ass that hits, hard, glass jingling on the table.
"Did you jump ahead?" He asks, knowing full well your eyes are swimming with tears. 
"No sir," you say. “I didn’t think that was a real word.”
"Opoponax." He says, reaching over you to grab a bottle, dropping a thick oil on you and rubbing it into your bruising skin. "Also known as sweet myrrh. Go ahead. Keep reading."
"Source: distilled from resin from ancient groves in Somalia, bought in Mogadishu from a local orchard, all profits to fund schools and clinics for women displaced by civil war." 
"Do you believe this to be a charitable effort?" He asks, hand spreading over your buttocks. You think he might be referring more to your arrangement than whatever is written on the page.
"No," you say. Your history and political know-how might be lacking but you've seen the wrong side of kindness. "It sounds like what people write to make themselves feel better about exploitation."
"Clever girl," he answers. You feel his nose brush against your skin, testing the mingling of scent with it. "Keep going."
You turn the page, swallowing back your protests. This spread is rich with text and color, a veritable garden bursting from the page. You fix on the first entry in the upper corner, bracing yourself for another faux pas.
"Heart notes: Turkish rose," you say. "What is this, poetry?"
"Aren’t you familiar with it?"
You shake your head, lips pursed in delight at the scrawl of English. “No.”
You let out a gasp as he bites the flesh nearer your back, the sting of it surely leaving a mark by the way the pain lingers.  
"Read it," he says, dipping over you for another bottle. “You’ll remember.”
"I know a bank where the wild thyme blows, where oxlips and the nodding violet grows," you dictate, stumbling over every word and yet never punished for it. Instead Doyoung lets a steady drip of the bottle fall down the back of your leg to your knee, his fingers bringing up the rest to mix what he's already poured on you.
"Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine, with sweet musk-roses and with eglantine." 
You end your recitation in a whisper, leather binding and paper gripped in your fingers as he massages the oil gently into your tingling skin, careful to avoid where your legs are locked together in arousal. You're heady with scent and sensation, awaiting some reminder that this isn't just a strange dream you’ve wandered into.
"There sleeps Titania sometime of the night, lulled in these flowers with dances and delight," he finishes for you as he paints the rest up your spine beneath your shirt. You let him ministrate on your body as the words settle, as time recedes and you face a version of your youth you’re not sure isn’t just fiction. 
That book beside you, the first time he’d spoken to, long forgotten.
“Midsummer’s Night Dream,” you say, turning to face him again, settling between his thighs as he fails to meet your gaze. You lift his face with your fingers, cheeks indented by your gentle hold. “You remembered that, too?”
“It was the first time you ever looked at me,” he says. “And it felt like you saw right through me.”
No, you’re not dreaming. You’re the architect of this moment just as much as he’ll claim to be a cursory observer if confronted on it. 
You take in his mismatched eyes–one folding a little more than the other when he smiles at you ruefully. Those freckles you’d never really spent time examining, a happy accident of the time he’d spent with you in the sun. His fingers catching yours for a moment when you weren’t paying attention.
But most of all, the haunted cast where he’d lost sleep managing someone else’s problems. When he’d still been worrying about yours.
“You’re always thinking of how to take care of the people around you, I think you’ve forgotten how to relax and let other people take care of you.”
“No,” you say, shaking your head. “I don’t think I ever really saw you until now.”
“What didn’t you see?” he asks, expectantly.
Six years of his careful distance from you, that coldness and disinterest just another mask for someone who was as raw and vulnerable and real as you if you managed to pry open their shell. His tendency towards control, towards the knife’s slice of cutting you so cleanly from his life no one would know your name unless he spoke it aloud.
There wasn’t another human being in their right mind who’d last that test, your only grace being that he’d thought you were untouchable. His best friend’s girlfriend, of course. But beyond that, one of his best friends. 
No, one of his only friends.
“What didn’t you see?”
It wouldn’t require money or taste or a family name to bring Saint Kim down to earth. Just time and small acts of resistance, like the beautiful shell remnants you’d spilled into his hands on that last trip to Maui together, when it had still been the five of you. Each ground down to a small disc with a perfect spiral at its center, a reminder of the beauty remaining in broken things.
You place the notebook in his hands, curling your fingers around his. The pages it’s opened to are sparsely constructed, besides the photographs nestled between. Only you two know what’s there, buried in black sands and blue waters. You can see his handwriting falter where he’s written the notes for this moment in your shared history, sketches of those shells, and flowers.
A single photograph of you watching the others playing in the surf, his shadow cutting across the stretch of your legs.
Top notes: Jasmine for sensuality. 
Orange Blossom for innocence. 
Plumeria, for admiration. a new beginning . . .
You recognize the creamy yellow-white flower he’d tucked behind your left ear when you’d fallen asleep beside him. A non-native plant to the island, you’d learned, worn to indicate one was taken. A weed, like you, now prized as a treasure.
“What didn’t you see?”
You pull back to look at him, giving him yourself without reservation. 
“That I think you love me . . .” you say. “. . . Like I think I love you, too.” 
He looks up at you, astounded, the chair beneath him creaking as he collapses. 
For once you regret being beside him when you’d heard the same words spoken to him by other people, pulled into their lives without you ever remembering their names. The difference between you, you once believed, was that they didn’t mean it. 
Now, you understand, they just never knew the true cost of losing him. 
You watch him collect himself, running a hand back through his hair and curling into his seat, memories forgotten in his lap, bedamned. You’re sure the engines of Hell are running hot for the way he can’t even look at you right now. 
He needs a way out, you think. You’d rather be drowned in other women’s wine poured over your head than be on the receiving end of his disregard again, the script already constructed in your mind before you’d found you had the nerve to sleep with him.
"You can be honest with me,” you say. “Tell me it's been fun but you're not interested in a relationship.”
“What?” Doyoung is just as confused as when you’d told him you loved him, as honest as you’ve been in both sentiments. 
“Your family will never approve of me. I’m just another fling you happened to take a more lasting interest in. It’s better this way. Cut me off, forget about me and move on.”
It's his turn to balk. You expect his pre-programmed response. Saint Kim's gospel for turning down the interested but uninteresting party: deflect, dissuade, detach. 
“No,” he says, face draining of color.
“It’s okay,” you say. “I can handle it. Really. We can still be friends.” 
“No,” he repeats, more forcefully.
“What do you mean, no?” you ask. “Isn’t that how this always ends?”
“You stupid girl,” he says, grabbing your face in his hands so you can’t escape, making you look into his warm gaze. 
"Don’t you get it? This was always about feelings.”
When his lips crush against yours you don't have to speak to respond, catching his head so you’re not suffocated by the raw emotion you can feel in every movement. You return each kiss until the breath is out of your lungs, until you're drowning in his scent as he forces you back onto the desk.
You’re impatient to feel him, everywhere, aware you’re ripping buttons as you open his shirt to gain access to his smooth chest, trailing kisses as far down as you can go, still unable to escape his tongue sliding over yours.  
“I wasn’t going to do this here, like this, but fuck it,” he says once he’s free, fumbling with his belt as he holds you to pepper your face and neck in a steady reminder of his affection. “I need you.”
“I need you, too,” you echo wholeheartedly, helping free him out of his clothing, pulling his length to where you’re still slick with oils and cum and ready for him. God, you think you’ve never been more ready to break around him, to show him what he’s brought out of you with this game.
“Please don’t make me wait anymore,” you whisper. 
You watch his face, breath held and heart stuttering as he sinks into you slowly, both of you gasping at the way your heat resists each measure of his continuous thrust. It feels like he’s barely in you when he stops, making you moan in dismay.
“Doie, please,” you say, trying and failing to wrap your legs around his slender hips to capture him deeper. You’re half out of your mind with that burning weight inside you remaining still.
“Say it,” he says, taking off your shirt to have access to your skin. He pulls down your bra, nipples tugged between his fingers as he assaults your neck with his tongue and teeth.
“It’s special,” you choke out. “Thank you, please–”
“Say it,” he corrects, twitching inside you but not moving an inch more. He curls down to nip at your breast above the lace, sucking a mark into the softest part. “Without the ‘I think’.” 
“No,” you resist, realizing what he’s asking too late. Your nails sink into his half-bared shoulder, head rolling against his. “You don’t get to torture me for that.”
“Don’t chicken out on me now.” Doyoung laughs against your cheek, hand splaying around your hip to still your squirming. “I can do this as long as it takes.”
He thrusts, just a little more, making you cry out in desperation as the contents of the desk tinkle behind you. 
“Fuck,” you breathe. “You think I love you?”
“So, so close.” He pulls out, rocking into you again to feel the seize of your entire body when you anticipate just how far he’ll go before denying you. A little more, at least, and you can feel how much it’s taking for him, see the strain in his body as he holds back.
“You love me,” you tease, this time not a question, no you think. “Saint Kim loves me.”
He sheathes himself in you fully, gripping your nape to kiss you as you clench involuntarily around him, protests in the back of your throat muffled by his tongue sliding across yours. He tugs at your bottom lip when he breaks free, fully smiling now like he isn’t buried completely in your cunt just warming himself instead of chasing his own bliss.
“What did you call me?” he asks, leaning over you to retrieve something. 
You take advantage of his distraction to snake a hand between you, slipping beneath your skirt before it’s grabbed, tight, and brought up to his lips. 
“Don’t cheat,” he says, wrapping your fingers around the cap of a bottle. 
“You never heard anyone call you that?” you murmur, opening it. 
You smell spring flowers and delicate citrus before it’s taken away, set aside when you nibble and suck at his sensitive ear to make him twitch, hands drifting across his ticklish belly down to his hipbones. He reads your intent again, stopping whatever silly task he’s doing beside you to lift your wrists to his shoulders. 
“The name is a little ironic, isn’t it?” you say, squeezing him experimentally with your thighs as you stroke his nape with your nails. You flex other muscles too–earning the grunt he makes as he feels you squeeze around his girth. 
He angles your head, pressing something wet and soft to where your pulse flutters in your neck. You’re immediately permeated with a light, airy, sweetness, the different scents revealed like a melody that ends in that richer, warmer scent from earlier. 
“Is that my perfume?” you ask. 
“An anointment,” he says, blowing across your skin to dry it and sending a shiver down your spine to where your bodies are locked together, that fullness and muted pleasure of him radiating down to your toes.
“I do seem to have a demon inside of me,” you sigh into his neck as you rest your head against his shoulder. “Do they do that in exorcisms?”
“Blessings,” he corrects, adjusting with another grunt. “We’ll find out if it worked in about an hour.”
“An hour?” you grumble. “You think you can keep torturing me that long?”
“I think I gave you the key to your own cage,” he says, checking his watch. “About five minutes ago. Does it feel like longer?”
You mumble something into his rumpled collar, making him laugh beneath you. Even just that tiny movement has you involuntarily gripping him, abdomen clenched. 
“What’s that?”
“I’llsayitifyoumakemecome,” you repeat, embarrassed enough to hide your face in the crook of his neck again. 
“You think this is a negotiation, Y/N?” Doyoung’s hands are back on your breasts, thumbing the areola in slow circles that are very much a reminder of his touch earlier on your throbbing clit. You whimper, trying to stay still so he doesn’t figure out that if he continues to do that you might have a chance–
“You trying to make me come squeezing me like that?” he asks, breath ragged. “That seems like a quick way to end this.”
“You . . . you could just fuck me,” you wheeze, feeling the way he teases your pebbled, hard nipple with lighter brushes, his mouth quirked where it’s pressed to your forehead. 
“What if I want to make love to you, instead?” he asks. He inhales sharply at your body’s response. 
“Fuck, you liked me saying that, didn’t you?”
You nod, unable to speak, holding onto him in desperation as the combination of his words and soft strokes make you melt into the pleasure of every small motion of him inside you. You realize he’s unconsciously pushing into you, too, unable to keep his hips from pressing into yours. 
Overstimulation is making you hyperaware of the scratch of his unzipped jeans against your burning thighs, the random brush of his open belt against your belly. Time seems to disappear as he holds you quietly, letting you soak up the fragrant, radiating warm reality of him.
“I can wait all night for it,” he threatens, even just his lower register making you quiver a little around him. “Count every time you twitch and moan on me until you break.”
You’d felt him flag a little while he worked but now he’s fuller inside you, stretching you wide as he twitches to life. It’s even hotter than all of this build-up, you think, knowing he can act a menace but that the idea of you surrendering to him is what’s really getting him off.
Of course, you think, mentally steeling yourself like you’re preparing for war. In a way this is something like it, up against as formidable a foe as he is. 
“Doie,” you whisper, threading your hands in his hair as you nuzzle for his lips, kissing him softly and intimately, like it’s your first time. “When did you know?”
“What?” He goes a little rigid against you, unable to hide his rapid heartbeat with how close you’re pressed to him. You blink up at him, expectantly. 
“When did you first know you loved me? Really?”
He smiles, shyly, but you see the hint of anxiety on his features beneath his arousal. There it is, you think, having to hide your own satisfaction. 
“Is this a trick question?” he asks, warily, eyelashes half-lowered.
“Not if I know the answer,” you say, smoothing his kiss-swollen lips with a touch. “I don’t think it’s in that book, either.”
“Really?” He’s intrigued, a tentative rock of his hips against you making you dizzy. “Tell me.”
You shake your head, just as playful. 
“I’ll tell you later,” you say. “After.”
He sighs explosively, nose wrinkling. “You don’t know.”
“Want to bet?” you ask. It’s always a little thrilling seeing Doyoung presented with an opportunity he can’t resist. He fumbles for the notebook beside you, almost slipping out of you when he has to reach even farther for a pen.
“Write it down,” he says, smug as a cat who’s caught something small and easily toyed with. 
“Only if you do, too,” you say.
His answer is a pained sound of agreement, adjusting himself against the desk. 
“No peeking,” you say, flipping to a page in the back. 
“Wait,” he says, grabbing the book before the nib of the nice pen touches the creamy paper. “What are the terms?”
You ponder for a moment, feeling a grin slide onto your lips. “Doesn’t our perfume need a name? Whoever is right, gets to name it.”
You can practically taste his delight as he leans in to kiss you, forcing you to pull your page closer to you. You make him wait, filling the blank space as best you can with detail as he fidgets between your legs, sending small shocks of pleasure through you both. 
“Thank you,” he says in earnest once you’ve handed him it open to a new leaf, his hand and the notebook shaking a little as he tries to write mid-air, finally resting it awkwardly atop your head in order to scrawl out his own answer.
“My eyes are closed, Kim Doyoung.” 
“You’re a cheat,” he says, shushing you with an added thrust of his hips. 
You settle back on your elbows, already enjoying your victory as you feel the tiny pressure of his handwriting, hear the scratches of his sketch. You're more emboldened than ever when the leather binding snaps shut.
“Now tell me,” you say, looking up at him coyly. 
“Can’t I just show you–”
You snatch the book from him, turning to your entry. Then, to his horror, you rip your page free and fold it shut, tucking it into the pocket of his open shirt.
“Tomorrow morning,” you say. “You had 24 hours, right? I’ll give you my answer tomorrow morning.”
Doyoung looks as if he’s tasted something sour. “You won’t tell me.”
“I’ll tell you that you won,” you say, looking down at his page. You trace the fresh ink with care, admiring his tight script and explanation. “February to April? How could I have guessed an entire season?” 
“Did you at least guess the year?” he asks, looking a little better for your affirmation of his win. 
You nod, finally feeling the discomfort of your position and resting your head against his warm chest. There’s nothing awkward about being wrapped around him like this, the late hour and strange, still space making it easier to forget the world outside.
“Hard to forget,” you say. “I thought for sure I’d never see you again after that winter holiday.”
Another break with Johnny, of course–but this one had been your choice. You’d finally felt the crushing weight of two years of contempt from the people around him, the Suh family matriarch at the center of it all, doing everything in her power to crush not only you but the people you loved. 
And then, when you’d needed him the most, Kim Doyoung had walked away from you, too. 
“I didn’t think I’d see you, either,” he sighs. “It was the first time in a long time you weren’t with us. With me. And it was my fault for pushing you away when you were just trying to–”
“It’s in the past now,” you cut him short with a finger pressed to his lips. 
The memory is painful, still–and you don’t want to sully this moment with it. You appreciate that even in his roundabout admission there’s a clear understanding for all you’d been through. You’d hoped he remembered that time from the past, when you’d first peered between the cracks in his carefully-manufactured facade.
Now you could be sure of what it meant to him. You feel like your own walls are crumbling, the light shining through. 
“So you chose the period of time when we didn’t speak to one another, at all?” you muse. “Not just one day?”
“You know what they say. Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” he says. “You were on my mind every minute and every hour of those three and a half months.”
He pauses, sigh warm against your brow. “I couldn’t tell you when I knew, for sure. I certainly couldn’t admit it, then, even to myself. But sometime then, I realized I cared more about you than a friend.”
You’d never doubted he was capable of it, never doubted it might be true. But hearing him admit it, now you know why he wants to hear it from you, too.
“Say it,” you say.
He finally looks at you again, tired but alight with amusement.
“You first,” he says.
“Who knew three simple words would be so difficult for Saint Kim?” you tease him.
“Alright. Come here,” he motions, slipping out of you with a shared groan. He pulls you to a couch under the shuttered window, settling down and forcing you to straddle him. In this position he can’t stop you from immediately taking all of him, his eyelids fluttering when you bottom out.
“You feel like heaven,” he murmurs. 
“You’re not going to last,” you laugh, delighted by the way his nose scrunches when you clench around him. 
“Says the girl who’s sucking me in like you never want me to leave.” He grabs on to your hips to roll them against his own, fingers tightening when you wriggle against him. “You’re gonna say it first even if I have to fuck it out of you.”
“Whoever comes first, then?” you offer.
“I can live with that,” he sighs, head resting back on the couch. 
You rock on your knees slowly, satisfaction warming you throughout as you force him all the way inside you. You let him hear how he makes you feel, pleading sounds and whispers every time he hits that place in your upper walls, curved inside of you perfectly. It doesn’t matter if you're in control you can’t help but hunt down that lovely rush of pleasure in your belly, twining your arms around his shoulders to steady yourself. 
“Good girl,” Doyoung praises, watching you in awe through half-lidded eyes. “You’re so beautiful. I always wanted to know what it would look like when you lost yourself with me.”
His words make you shiver, brushing his lips until he holds you against his mouth to show you how he likes it, less exploratory and more confident. It’s maddening how good he is at this, making you feel every single sweep of his tongue across yours, hand on your neck keeping you from escaping. 
“Don’t you want to–” you protest as he helps you to lay flat on your back across the length of the wide loveseat, settling between your thighs. 
“Oh god, Doie,” you whimper when he takes over, finally, finally, beginning to fuck you. It’s just as slow but at least he penetrates you fully before pulling out almost all the way, shoulders quaking as he holds himself up. 
“Promise me you'll let me dote on you for the rest of your life,” he says, not waiting for your response before driving into you again. His movements are barely controlled, grunts escaping the back of his throat when his hips snap into yours again.  
“I promise,” you hold onto him, back arching off the cushion to meet him, blissed out in the relief of each, careful stroke against your fluttering walls. That crescendo is happening whether you want it to or not, every overworked knot of muscle threatening to snap loose. 
“Promise me that no matter who you fuck you’ll always let me treat you right,” he says, voice breaking. “You’ll let me show you how I feel even when I can’t say it.”
“Yes, Doie. Yes.” You pull down on his shoulders, trying to move for you both, kissing his jaw and throat.
“Stop fighting me and take it,” he says, moving more easily with the thick coat of your cum, establishing a gentle rhythm. 
His voice has always made it hard for you to pay attention to anything else but he abuses that power now, murmuring guidance into your neck that has you tightening around him as he fucks you deep and slow. 
“That’s my girl,” he praises. “You’re taking me so well. Take all of me.”
You feel shivers up and down your body, nipples hardening tight as they brush against his chest, his hair tickling your forehead as he blindly kisses and licks at your mouth and chin. 
You’d thought he’d be concentrating on something else in his head to keep from losing himself but instead it’s you who's floating, breath captured in your lungs when he adjusts on top of you to pin your hips down, pressing your leg wide to bury himself to the hilt.
“You feel so perfect. I could really do this all night, you know,” he smirks down at you from where he’s supported on his elbow. “Is that what you want?”
“No, fuck, please,” you whine. There’s no thoughts in your head besides just how much you want that ache inside of your cunt to melt into real pleasure. 
“You want me to stop?” he asks, feeling how you begin to pulse around him as he swirls his hips up into that most sensitive part of you, his flat belly grinding into your clit. You gasp, leg locking around his, helping him work you apart.
“No no no,” you beg, face hot. “Just . . . just kiss me through it, please.”
Doyoung’s smile grows wider. “Say what you already told me.”
You twist your head against the cushion, earning his hand on your jaw as he makes you look at him while you break, kissing you between panting breaths. His confidence is written in the cocksure grin remaining on his mouth, more cruel when he bites at your bottom lip, hard, before licking the pain away. 
“Say it,” he breathes, slowing down on purpose. 
“I . . . ah,” you cry out, “I love . . . please don’t stop.” 
“What’s that?” he asks, pace punishingly slow. Your legs lose feeling, vibrations starting in the back of your thighs and tremoring down to your feet. 
“Oh god, oh god, oh god,” you repeat, nearly tipping off the edge, “I’m coming, I’m finally–”
He slows down right as you hit that crest, making you cry out in frustration. 
“Doie, I’ll kill you–”
“Say it,” he says into your lips, pulling out–too far–
“Iloveyou,” you exhale, seizing around him in time to your wildly beating heart.
“Louder.” He slams into you again, merciless.
“I love you, you stupid bastard,” you say, hanging on to his shoulders. “I love you!”
“Good enough,” he says, drilling into you until he can feel you break, orgasm sustained through the painful pressure of him losing himself in your throbbing heat, finding your mouth again, finally, to silence the repeated mantra on your tongue.
You kiss him fiercely, unloading everything words aren’t enough for, legs tied around his waist to keep him locked inside you until he’s fighting back, fucking you so hard the sound of it fills the quiet room. 
“I love you,” you repeat a final time for him, just to watch the way it makes him break, jaw slackening when he loses control, finally. 
He stutters into his own orgasm, teeth scraping against your locked lips, forehead pressed into yours as he empties inside you for what feels like forever, finally collapsing on top of you with a whimper when his arms give out and he’s as limp as his cock inside you. 
You scrape your nails across his scalp, soothing him. You don’t mind his weight, or the way you’re still pressed together with sweat and your combined spend. 
“Wasn’t so hard, was it?” he rasps, eyes dazed as he looks up at you. 
“No,” you say, shaking your head tightly. “Not for me, at least.”
“You’re not mad?” 
You know he means his inability to say the magic words but you crack a smile, just as pleased with yourself. 
“About the bet?” you ask. “No.”
Oh, it’s delicious seeing realization dawn on his face, little glimmers of surprise and horror bubbling up from his afterglow. 
“Fuck,” he says. You’re grateful he doesn’t deny it, rolling to the side in defeat. 
“Who told you? ‘Woo?”
You laugh softly, rolling over to pin him down with your leg, trapping him against the back of the couch. 
“You did, right now,” you say, relishing having him where you want him. “I had a hunch. And I know you, you’d never beg for someone to say something during sex–”
“I didn’t beg,” he corrects, grimacing.
“What was it? The first one to get me to say it? Bonus points if it’s on your cock?”
“Ah, well,” he says, perking up despite the fist pressed to his forehead in embarrassment. “Then you don’t know.”
“I’ll find out soon enough, Jaehyun wouldn’t–”
“You’re really not mad?” he asks, painfully reticent as you pull his hand away from his face and twine your fingers together.
“Not if it means I can use it as leverage,” you say, kissing his knuckles.
That doesn’t seem to surprise him, at all. 
“Good girl,” he says. “What do you want?”
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A few years ago, give or take 
You’re a little too happy, an awful fact considering how much he'd missed seeing you this way.
Lately you’ve been sleepwalking through your life, all those tiny fractures and bruises finally having the time to mend–but healing is a painful process in itself. Doyoung had returned from his family’s formal Chuseok gathering in Singapore, eager to check in on you after receiving sparing responses from you via text.
You didn’t have a friend he could check in with instead any longer–not after that one girl had fled the country, the other ghosting you after their father was mysteriously laid off from a company he well knew did business with Suh International. 
He’s worried about you long before that, terrified that one last straw would break you even if by all indications you were strong enough to take it. After you’d had Johnny arrested and solicited a no-contact order you’d cut your ex off completely, moving to a tiny apartment far from where you’d grown up, changing your number. 
Only Jungwoo knew about it, and it was he who’d reluctantly offered your whereabouts to him after a few glasses of whiskey in their usual club. 
“She asked me to keep her info on lockdown. Got that hacker kid, what’s his name–Haechan? Wiped her socials off the map, so he can’t find her. He did good but you know Suh.”
Doyoung nods. They hadn’t seen him in a few weeks, probably because the idiot was combing through every civic office and apartment building in the city. Hell, he’d probably driven around until he found her by sight alone, knowing that animal wouldn’t rest until he knew her whereabouts, as stubborn about chasing her down as he was about refusing the F4’s help. 
“His mother called me to ask if the place he bought in cash was for her,” Doyoung says, knocking back his drink as he receives a text, heart sinking that it's not you. “Did you help him buy it for her?”
Jungwoo sighs. “No. I just got her rent halved with some coercion, you know? But then he goes and buys a unit in the same building with whatever stash he thought the Old Tiger didn’t know about.” 
The Devil Kim leans back, long legs akimbo as he gestures towards the server for a refill. “He’s waiting for her to go back to Chicago before he moves in. But you didn’t hear that from me.”
“I did not,” Doyoung affirms, turning away from the group of women at the bar sending looks towards their private table. “Let’s plan for when Madam Suh leaves. I can have her pull him into the London offices, considering he’s failing his courses.”
“Stone cold,” Jungwoo says, smirking. “Glad I’m not on your shit list.”
“Just don’t fuck with her,” Doyoung says. “Or fuck her.”
Jungwoo laughs into his glass. “Even I’m not that stupid.”
He’d thought he wasn’t, either. 
Not until you’d called a few days later, your speech a little slurred. He couldn’t have told you if what he was doing was important even if he was in a meeting, showing up to find you picking at a bowl of bar snacks in what he thought might be one of the nicer bars in your shitty part of town. Not as shitty as your old neighborhood, but it wasn’t a competition.
“Saint Kim,” you’d heralded him, raising an empty glass still smelling of watermelon and hibiscus. 
“You shouldn’t be drinking alone, here,” he’d said. 
You were dressed in one of your few nice outfits, a little on the revealing side for his tastes, but those had been Johnny’s you’d conformed to–animal print and thin straps, tastefully tasteless.
“I wasn’t,” you say, hiccuping. “Alone.”
For the first time in a long time fear spikes his blood pressure into overgear. Were you drugged? Was he going to have to fend off another predator who'd found you vulnerable?
You deserved the chance to move on but there was a real threat in what would happen to anyone who approached you without their permission. Johnny’s, yes, always, but the F4 had also agreed to look out for you well before your last incident at a club. 
“Who?”
“She left,” you say. He feels instant relief, reaching out to adjust the thin coverup slipping off your bare shoulder. 
“You make a new friend?”
You shake your head. “She’s nice. Met her in one of the ikebana classes work is paying for. Thought we were hitting it off but I must have said something dumb because she ran out of here, fast.”
You look up at him cautiously, too inebriated to realize he can recognize a set-up before it begins.
“You didn’t just talk about your ex, did you?” he asks, settling beside you at the bar. He orders something less ridiculous than whatever you'd been drinking, while you scroll through an Instagram feed, finger trembling over the screen. 
You look up at him, color-stained lips curving in an easy smile. “You want to see what we’re working on?”
Doyoung finds himself looking through a grid that is immediately obvious is not yours. His mouth goes dry, seeing rows of beautifully-staged floral centerpieces, the backgrounds as familiar as the back of his hand. You don’t seem to notice, going to the user’s story and tapping in vain to find the picture she’d posted.
“She deleted it already. Huh. Well, she texted me the picture–”
“Stop.” Doyoung places his hand over yours, his palm damp from the immediate flood of adrenaline. 
“So you do know Mona,” you say. You look up at him, expectantly, eyes glassy with the brand of hopefulness and naked curiosity he’s seen you charm everyone else around you with before. 
“She’s the one, isn’t she?”
Doyoung pulls cash from his pocket, not caring how much he puts down except that he’s sure it’s enough to cover the amount he’d like to drown himself in right now. Enough to go blind and burn out the phantom of that face he’d put behind him years ago. 
“Put your coat on,” he says. “I’m driving you home.”
“But I’m not–”
“Now,” Doyoung says, grabbing your wrist. He’s barely ever touched you in the years that you’ve been friends, and it sickens him when he feels you freeze in fear and confusion, that trauma response buried so deeply it's in your bones.
He wants to be kind, he wants to be patient with you. He just doesn’t have it in him to be anything to you right now.
“What’s wrong, Do–?”
“We’re leaving,” he says, dragging you out into the bitter cold evening, the streets slick with sleet, your heels catching on the pavement as you stumble in his wake.
“Stop,” you yell at his back, trying to yank your arm free from where he’s bruising your skin with whitened knuckles. “You’re hurting me–”
“You’ll live,” he says, pulling you to where he’s parked his car, the engine roaring to life the moment you manage to close your door. He can barely look at you, realizing too late that your crestfallen expression is making him more upset than the lightning strike of seeing her name again.
“You didn’t ask my address,” you say, quietly, met with his silence as he drives much more dangerously than the weather permits. He's forced to speak with you once he's slammed the brakes at an intersection, red light shading you through the windshield.
“Tell me one thing,” he says. “Did you try to set us up by having me come there?”
You’re petulantly silent now, an answer in itself.
“Answer me,” he orders, hands gripping the wheel.
“I thought you’d want to–”
“Do you think we have the kind of relationship where you can just do whatever you want and get away with it?” Doyoung’s voice is calm but he sees you flinch at his words and tone, your shoulders moving under your jacket as you begin to quietly cry. 
It drives him deeper into anger, hitting the gas with a roar of the engine the instant the light turns green. 
“You don’t get to feel sorry for yourself for this one, Y/N,” he says, already regretting every word tumbling out of his mouth. “You fucked up.”
“I just thought you could both have some closure after that–”
The car jerks as he brakes in the side lane of the service road, cars roaring past them honking their horns. Your sobs are barely audible over the idling engine and the blink of the hazards he turns on while he tries to find calm, your face turned away from him. 
“You thought that interfering in other people’s personal lives would make you feel better,” he says. “No wonder you don’t have any real friends.”
Out of the corner of his eye he can see your full body shakes still, can feel as that armor encasement you’d put together piece-by-piece over years of dealing with loveless reality falls back into place. And, years later–no, even hours later–he’ll remember how at the time he was stupid enough to think it was the right thing to say. 
You needed a reality check, he’d thought. A reminder that all the wishes and hopes in the world wouldn’t change the bleak architecture of it, uncaring by design and much easier to navigate without them. That moving on was the only path to this idiot’s dream of closure, something you knew nothing about for how often you’d let them pull you back into their world, blinded by sunk-cost and loneliness. 
All the things he wished he believed for himself, but without the benefit of your optimism.
“Fuck you, Kim Doyoung,” you say, opening the car door and slamming it shut without so much as a glance behind you. He’d waited to make sure you reached the nearest bus stop before driving off, calling Jungwoo to let him know you were here–crying in the cold. 
He'd seen you in passing.
His best friend knew a lie when he’d heard it, most especially from him. 
He wouldn't hear from you again until spring.
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Kim Doyoung can’t sleep. 
He’s not allowed to. 
He can’t move either, arm going numb beneath your curled body, your breathing finally easing for the dozenth time since his trial began. You have horrible sleep habits–kicking off the covers, stealing the pillows–but tonight you’ve passed out with that same bone-deep tiredness he’d felt earlier, face beatific in the slivers of light piercing through the slatted shades. 
It’s close to dawn, he thinks, the cacophony of insects and birds outside transitioning from a quiet chorus to a full orchestral suite. Soon it will be too loud to sleep deeply. 
“Y/N?” he whispers, tentatively, not daring to move.
You don’t respond, relief rushing through him. It’s not that he’s desperate to join you in slumber but that he’s waited for you to finally surrender to REM. He needed you down. 
And you needed it, too. 
He’d negotiated with Jaehyun when you’d been in the shower, earlier, sacrificing precious moments of shared time exploring your skin and the new taste of you under the water to supplicate himself to his best friend and worst enemy in this moment.
“It’s a charter,” Jaehyun said, blinking sleep from his eyes but awake enough to be angry. “You’re not finding another one short term.”
“I emailed you the tickets. Cattle car but first class, at least,” he says. “Jungwoo agreed to give you his day, he doesn’t want to take her out until after dark, anyway. You can sleep in tomorrow.”
“Fine.” Jaehyun had slammed the door shut in his face, but he hadn’t missed the budding smile on his friend’s face. At least one person was rooting for him.
That’s how he’d earned another morning with you. As always, making up for lost time.
You’re half out of the covers, one leg sprawled over the duvet as you sleep. You’d put on one of his softer button-downs, inhaling the smell of it after he tried to steal it back. 
“Please let me wear you,” you said. “I want to dream about you.”
Being around you like this is more comfortable than he imagined, as if you’re being slotted into a position he didn’t even know there was an existing space for. He’s woken up to women in his bed but you’re the first who’s ever asked him for this, particular experience.
“I used to have this fantasy, you know, whenever we crashed at your apartment.” He’d watched you go sheepish recalling, dates omitted for a reason. “Sometimes I’d lie there and touch myself thinking about you crawling into that guest bed–maybe a little drunk or you’d forget which room. Or maybe, you just wanted me to think that. I’d be awake but I’d pretend to be asleep while you . . . used me.” 
He experiments by tracing his fingertips up your bare leg, the peek of your lace underwear beneath the hem of his shirt maddening for how it curves into the crest of your ass, presented for him. A treat dangled before him, the command to partake only that you wanted him to make it slow–you wanted to wake to it.
He sucks a breath in, erection in his sweatpants hard against the band already from just watching his sleeping beauty. He finds every mark on your leg, every fine hair, thanking Heaven above you aren’t overly sensitive or ticklish like he is when his hand slips beneath his shirt to your belly. 
He slots himself against you, carefully, as if adjusting in his sleep. He has to wait for your breathing to even out again, slipping his free hand up to your breasts. 
“Used you? Did you not get off in this scenario?”
“I mean, yes. But it’s mostly about you. You wouldn’t say anything at all, you’d just fuck me full of your cum and then you’d leave me leaking it on your sheets and go back to your room. Or sometimes I’d crawl in your bed, if you were alone, and you’d cover my mouth so the others couldn’t hear it. And the next day it would be like nothing happened, you wouldn’t even bother to ask how I’d slept.” 
He loved how much of a slut you were, when you felt comfortable enough to share that side with someone. Johnny had certainly never appreciated the subtleties of your nature–too blinded by adoration to even consider degrading you on purpose. 
No, Doyoung had known for awhile you pushed the boundaries with him to see if he’d break.
Your nipples harden even though he’s barely handling them, discovering what shape your breasts make in repose as he tries desperately not to rut into the swell of your ass. Warming himself in you earlier had been one of the hardest challenges he’d faced but it had been worth it to learn you inside and out, to know how to make you grip his cock with that delicious little cunt of yours with just a kiss or a word that pleased you.  
You don’t wake but he knows he’s gotten through to that little lizard brain of yours when your legs rub together unconsciously, pushing back into him so his cock is settled between your buttocks. The friction from the lace is like the proverbial pea under a mattress–rubbing against his cock through the layers, catching on the veins and scraping the underside of his cockhead. 
It’s already a nice ache, one he ignores as he adjusts to better continue plucking and teasing at your body beneath your shirt, until you’re used to his touch enough to truly fall back under, once more.
You're so vulnerable, completely at his mercy as he brings his hand down to test the patch of moisture growing in the fabric, that lace sticky with your dreams of him. 
Use you, he thinks. You have no idea what he wants. 
Doyoung can play with the fantasy of you crawling into your boyfriend’s best friend’s bed while he’s passed out in the other room, determined to be punished for waking a sleeping monster . . . but it’s not what he's fantasizing about now. 
He takes time in stroking you, a single finger digging in between your lips through the fabric, listening intently for your breathing to change. You sigh, one of those full exhales one does in their deep sleep, but you arc back a little, into his touch, leg falling forward crooked so you’re a little more spread. 
Doyoung wishes he could move down there and use his nose to push you apart instead of his hand but that’s not your fantasy–not this time. You didn’t want him to spoil you anymore, completely underestimating his love for it. True, he didn’t often eat other girls out, too personal or just too much of a chore to figure out what they liked, but you weren’t ever going to be with him and not come from that first. 
Just the thought of tying you up so he can spend hours fucking you on his tongue is making his cock pulse, too hard to be ignored. He quietly pulls down the drawstring of his sleepwear, freeing himself so he can replace his finger with the much wider tip of his cock, biting back a groan as he rubs into that damp, soft lace he’d known would suit you the moment he’d touched it in the display box brought to his private buying room. 
You'd never know he’d already fucked himself with it before ever giving it to you, that errant fantasy of touching you finally realized as you whimper a little in your sleep at the soft push of him between your legs. He finds where your clit is getting just as swollen as the rest of you, bouncing against warmth and the promise of unspooling that need with his help, again.
Just his precious little cocksleeve, spoiled and worshiped, showing your gratitude by begging for it even when you’re unconscious. He tests the waters of the scenario by slowly pulling the seat of your underwear to the side, easing in between the fabric and your folds. 
You twitch against him, sheets rustling. He holds still, cock jumping and balls tightening with a little anxiety. 
He only has this one chance. 
Outside in the dark and quiet of the house sleeps the man everyone knows you’re really with, the one who doesn’t have to fight for an I love you to pass your lips. You’d never understood what it felt like watching you climb into Jaehyun’s lap whenever the whim took you, pretending you didn’t know what it did to him or the other two of them watching you.
Your breathing is shallow and your hand flexes a bit, against the pillow, but that’s it. Within a minute he’s grown more confident that you’re still asleep.
He reaches over you, pressing the pads of two fingers against the front of your underwear while he slips a little deeper between your legs, eyes almost rolling back in his head at the contrast between the satiny slide of you and the rougher cling of your panties. It’s a relief as he loses himself to it, rutting from the back while he applies constant pressure to your bud.
“Mmm.” You make a soft noise, but he doesn’t pull free, choosing instead to keep a hypnotizingly steady pace fucking against you. Your hips twitch against him, seeking out more contact, but he doesn’t rush–pressing his head against the back of yours and melding with you in the softness of the pillows and sheets. 
You’re so wet you’re soaking his pants, everything he collects tickling down to his balls pressed into your ass. He’s going to stuff your mouth with his fingers, when you finally open it, make you gag on them while he fills you full from behind. 
You moan now, voice syrupy with sleep. He doesn’t care if you’re still down, not with you gently pushing back, trying to get release.  
Not yet, you little harlot, he thinks, hips going still again. He’s burning at the wait, your cunt continuing to glide against him as you act out whatever is going on in your dreams, the movement making him insane for how closely it adheres to his desire to have taken you back when you were innocent, his little virgin weed learning what her body wanted, seeking it out in his bed.
“Treat me like one of the girls you don’t really like. Use me.”
Such an unending fantasy of yours that he never wanted you, almost sweet for how dumb you are–or just willfully ignorant. He’s always liked the second one better–your little game played out that you were one of them. Dressed in that school uniform, kicking your skinned knees, sucking on a piece of candy while four college-age idiots hid their bathing-suited boners under their robes, fighting or fucking around in front of you so you could keep up that precious little illusion of immunity. 
“Johnny,” you murmur in your sleep. 
It should make his blood run cold but as with all twisted-up and tangled desires it only makes him feel ignited, pulse pounding in his head. You’re still asleep and thinking of someone else, someone not even in this house, the guilt of it passing over him faster than a cloud on a breezy day. 
He rocks back into you, this time pulling out enough that he can find your soft hole, already tight again–the only part of your body not relaxed as he forces his way past the flutter of your opening, cockhead sensitive enough to sense the more textured g-spot where he knows you’ll come fast and easy if he fucks into it. 
“Shh,” he says, finally trailing his mouth against your jaw, pushing into you softly. “Go back to sleep, baby.”
“Mmhmm,”  you reply, nuzzling into the pillow, curling into him. He pushes a knee between your legs, folding you into the bed beneath him as he begins to fuck you, finally taking you for himself and himself alone. 
You’re so warm inside, body adjusting to take him easily for how boneless you are, kitten-like mewls muffled by the pillow. It turns him on hearing the edge of pain there, the way you struggle when he pulls your underwear up so tight it sticks between your folds, clit rubbing against it the way he’d stroked himself to completion with it tied tight around his cock.
“Stay quiet or I’ll stuff your mouth full instead,” he whispers against your shoulder, feeling as always a little stupid but losing that internal cringe when you choke on a moan.
“Is that what my little slut was dreaming about? Gagging to tears on another man’s cock?”
He feels you tense at a bit at the suggestion, letting him use you in spite of the rougher handling. 
“That’s right. You said another man’s name in your sleep. Do you think that's acceptable?”
You shake your head, whimpering. 
“Such a whore you can't keep track of who's dick is inside of you. Tell me, who's fucking you right now?” 
“Doie,” you say, music to his ears. He'd always hated the nickname until you started using it. You were the only one–you were always the only one who made his chest burn with unsated desire when you said his name.
“Who owns this tight little pussy?” 
“You do,” you gasp out. 
“Are you going to forget me? Maybe I need to fuck you so hard you only think of me when you spread your legs for another man.” 
Doyoung feels electric at how easily you begin to crumble with just a few words, squeezing his dick so tight when he says something you like, even more when he makes it hurt. 
“Sleepy baby going to let me stuff every one of your holes until I’ve had enough? Use you like my own little doll?”
You nod, no longer capable of speaking except in a plaintive moan when he leaves you to shuck off his pants and pull down your ruined panties, pillow pulled beneath your belly to force your ass up. In this position he can drill into you deeper, burying you into the mattress with each thrust. 
“That’s what you get for crawling in here,” he says, fingers digging bruises into your hips to hold you down. “Keep your mouth shut and take it.”
The pleading, almost scared noises you're making have him hard and pulsing, two steps away from coming himself but in no hurry to. He pulls your hair to bring your head back, shoving his fingers in your mouth. 
“You like that?” Your cunt can't hide it, sucking him in. “Get them wet for me.” 
You drool over his knuckles, gagging as he fucks your mouth with them in an awkward rhythm to his merciless rutting. He spits into his hand when he's satisfied, fingers swirling around the tight rim of your ass so quickly it makes you buck. 
“Don't scream,” he murmurs, giving you two fingers at once. You make a noise through the pillow you're biting, gripping him tight. He's gentler with this, slowing, letting you adjust to take him.
“This is my favorite, right here,” he groans. “Feeling my cock inside you with my fingers. I'd fuck this tight little ass again but I want to feel you come like this.” 
He begins to stroke you harder, deeper, wet and sticky when his balls slap against your abused cunt. He keeps his fingers buried in you, scissoring you open as you take it.
“Come for me, Y/N, grip me good so I can fill that pretty mouth of yours.” 
It's a beautiful feeling when you begin to throb, contractions in your ring of muscle letting him know when you hit your peak. He fights the tingling in his balls, the urge to come with you painful for how long he's been holding it back. 
He talks you through it, instead.
“Such a good little hole,” he says. “You're coming so hard, baby, can feel it so well.” 
You moan, loud, as you break, loosening almost immediately, flooding him with sweet, hot warmth. He makes sure the last of those tics is gone before pulling out.
“Roll over,” he says, straddling you with a hand on the headboard, delighted by the sight of your flushed face and starry eyes. You already know what to do, tongue lolling and uvula exposed as he guides himself into your mouth, soft tongue swirling around his tip. 
God help him he's been thinking about this since yesterday, pushing deep enough to gag but not choke, fucking your mouth and the hot tightness of your throat when he hits it. It’s the sight more than anything that drives him to spill hot white ropes of cum into your mouth, pulling out to milk the last few splashes on your parted lips and delighting at the sight of you licking them with your spend-covered tongue.
“You’re so perfect,” he says, dropping down and kissing you, finally, tongues stroking each other until you finally pull free to breathe, blinking up sleepily at him. 
“You do taste different,” you tease.
“I taste like you,” he says, pressing soft kisses all over your face. “My sweet, sweet girl.”
“Did you like that?” you murmur. 
“I loved–” he pauses, watching the smile spread on your wet lips. 
“I love you, you know,” he finishes. You reach around his neck, comforting him out of instinct, but he doesn’t need it. 
“I love you,” he repeats, testing the words on his tongue now that they've flown out so easily, the tightness in his chest easing as you rise up to kiss him. 
“It's beautiful to hear you say it,” you say. “But you're right, I know.”
“I think I even know the exact time and date,” you say, reaching between you into the pocket of your shirt to pull out that torn and folded art paper scrawled with your words and an amateurish sketch.
Tomorrow morning . . .
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[Unknown number] [Tomorrow morning April 13th dawn is at 6:17] [I have something to show you. Meet me on the roof of the East Wind Hotel]
Doyoung looks at the text message again, hand hanging over the railing of a dance floor, conversation with the woman by his side forgotten. With the blur of a late night and a trip to a different hotel room, with a different woman, he'd almost missed it.
Probably one of the innumerable flings he's had, Jungwoo recruiting him to get every last lick of enjoyment out of Seoul before he enlisted. His friend snatches the phone from his hand.
“No business,” Jungwoo slurs, eyes bloodshot as he focuses on the text. “I thought you weren't working hospitality anymore.” 
“It's not . . .” There's something nagging at him, like a bird pecking at his skull in time to the drone of the EM, the buzz of conversation. A sense of deja vu so strong he's forced to cycle on it. 
“Pfft. I know you don't bring girls back to your kingdom,” Jungwoo says. “Stop working and party.”
Doyoung doesn't know why he feels compelled to see the cryptic message through, doesn't know why he races across town at 5 am, reeking of whiskey and another woman’s perfume, doing his best to sober up as the designated driver talks about the change in weather, the cherry blossoms in full bloom outside the window.
The morning commute is already surging and the destination central to the city so by the time he makes it he's out of breath from running two blocks away from a jam, head pounding.
“ . . . restricted for non-guests,” someone is saying, voice recognizable as an intern he knows from his leadership program, still stuck on night front desk duty. 
“I just need a few minutes, please. I need to take a picture–” He'd recognize that voice in a hundred years if he hadn't heard it, not just a hundred days.
“What's going on here?” 
You freeze, shoulders stiffening as you turn to face him. Not much has changed–a new haircut, same ratty old sneakers–but you look different. No longer a ghost, but just as untouchable for the skittish way you hold when he approaches, only the barest relief on your beautiful features.
You don't smile, don't even say hello.
You're scared of him, again, just that thought making him spiral.
“You came,” you say, exhaling. “We need to hurry. We need to get to the roof.”
Doyoung turns to the staff. “Is the roof access still shut down?”
“Stair access only, sir.” 
Your eyes go wide at the interchange, something like embarrassment passing over your features as you begin to laugh. 
“Of course this is your hotel,” you state, smacking yourself on the forehead. “Of course, why didn't I think to check that. God, I'm an idiot.” 
“We didn’t change the name when we acquired the chain so it would be unlikely for you to have guessed that,” he says. “What are you doing here?” 
“There's no time and it's easier just to show you. We need to get to the roof, now,” you say, grabbing his wrist and tugging on it towards the stairs. 
“Y/N,” he says, holding you fixed and pointing at the elevator. “We can take it up as far as we need to.” 
You're still laughing maniacally twenty floors up. “I was going to cry if I had to go up another flight of stairs.” 
“Are you really taking pictures?” He asks, gesturing at your camera.
“No, but I started carrying it the first time someone called the police on me thinking I was going to jump,” you giggle, wiping away tears. He feels delirious from lack of sleep, so maybe you are, too, but it doesn't seem to be the case as you spring out the doors, forcing him to guide you when you're lost in the executive suite hallways.
“I managed to sneak in last time, otherwise I wouldn't have gotten this far. I'm glad you came just in time, I think they were going to kick me out.”
He's surprised at how easily things have snapped back into place between you, no mention of anything that's happened as you race up the stairwell to the roof access. 
“Will you tell me–”
“Oh thank god,” you say once your through the heavy doors and collapsed on the green helipad, growing impatient when he props the door open out of habit. He's been up here many times, nothing remarkable about the space besides the legacy sign on top, view crowded by other buildings at varying levels. 
“Stand here,” you say, pushing him into place, turning him by the arms. “Do you see it?”
“I don't even know what I'm looking for,” he says, beginning to grow annoyed. 
“Look over there, at the People's Bank. Relax your eyes, it will only take a minute.”
He feels increasingly foolish but he does what you ask, cool morning breeze clearing his muddled head. The sky is washed in a pink and blue haze, the sun cresting the more mountainous region of the city behind you to bathe the city in solid gold.
“There,” you breathe, letting out a little sigh.
“What?” All he can see is a few birds passing over the vista of crowded advertisements and neon. 
“Do you see the light?” you ask. 
“There's tons of lights–” he begins, cut short by the blinding catch of the sun's reflection on one of the characters, then another. He spells it out slowly, guided by your hand holding his to each one. 
The bank: Sa. 
The next building over, also burning brighter with the touch of the sun: Rang. 
Then an advertisement that has been up long enough most of the original message is lost. Hae.
“How did you find this?” he asks, knowing it would be impossible for him to have ever seen this without knowing the trick of the light. 
“I didn't find it. Well I did–I had to search some buildings for it.” 
Later he'll find out you climbed close to fifty flights of stairs in the last two months, had spent every waking moment not working or in school breaking into buildings before sunrise to find that exact spot, forever amused at the thought you hadn’t checked his family's flagship hotel first.
“You don't remember getting the same message from someone else?” you ask. “I was worried you wouldn't come, again.”
Again. Something tugs the memory up from the oubliette he'd locked it into, Mona teasing him about sleeping in and missing their appointment.
Mona. 
His stomach falls, checking back behind him at the door as if that particular ghost will return to haunt him.
“She's not here. I wasn't trying to set you up,” you say, recognizing the dismay he can't hide. “Honestly. And I know whatever closure you find is yours and yours alone. You were right about that, too, I'm sorry.”
You twist your hands in front of you, suddenly overwhelmed with anxiety. “I did this for me. Because I wanted to know what she tried to tell you, even if she couldn't say it aloud.”
You don't look at him, can't in order to continue. Doyoung feels like a live wire, exposed, two months of painful loneliness and a lifetime's worth of avoidance of this fact all surging through him in this moment. 
As much as he would prefer to leave he's not going to run like he did back then, when he'd ignored the hard parts to pretend like a friendship wasn't something more. Not with the stakes of losing this one.
“You once told me you were just friends, even if you couldn't be one anymore for her after you realized you loved her. How it broke you to be with someone you couldn't be with, who wanted something different.”
“Now you know. She didn't want to stay one, either,” you say. You look up at him nervously, regaining your confidence.
“I just wanted you to know that you were loved, Kim Doyoung. You still are.” 
You turn away towards the door, pretending not to have seen the tears dripping down his face under his glasses. He ignores them, too, not knowing what to say or do to make sure you never leave him again.
The spot never mattered to him, the word and it's confession forgotten in time. What changed that day was having you in front of him after so long, the way you were a reflection of him so many years ago, fighting to be by the side of someone who didn't know how to love you back, the right way.
He'd promised himself than that even if he couldn't say it, he'd show you.
“Thank you for coming. I'm sorry for interfering with your life, but that’s what friends do.”
You'd almost made it to the stairs when he'd wrapped around you from behind, the first ever time he'd held you in an embrace, unsurprised to find you shaking like a leaf as he rested a wet cheek against your hair. 
“I'm sorry,” he says. “Thank you.” 
You relax a little, squeezing his hand. In that small gesture everything is reset, everything is okay again. They won't talk about this for the next few years, even when Jungwoo asks how you'd come back into their lives so suddenly and without any indication that things had changed.
But they had. Deeply. 
“You can make it up to me by buying me breakfast,” you say, smiling up at him, wiping his cheek with your sleeve. “We have a lot to catch up on.” 
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“Did I win?” you ask. 
Doyoung can only laugh, giddy, as you burrow into his side to smother him in kisses and teasing. You were put on this earth to challenge him, after all–always right there to match him in stubbornness and competition.
He presses his nose to your neck, inhaling the remnants of the scent you'd made together, one bottle for each, though you didn't have to know his formula was just a bit different.
“‘Tomorrow Morning’ has a nice ring to it, I suppose. It lingers well.”
“It was my answer, actually. I needed to see if I could break Saint Kim's vow of romantic abstinence before I made up my mind,” you say, smug as you move to get up. “Glad you were able to find out before your time was–”
You shriek as he pulls you down again, pinning you to the bed. 
“I still have a few hours,” he says, voice dangerous. “I'd like to hear you say it again.”
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137 notes · View notes
tarotwithdanise · 1 year
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Your future spouse first impression of you (reposted and edited)
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1 - 2 - 3
4 - 5 - 6
SOURCE AND CREDITABLE : All of the pictures are collected and downloaded from pinterest , I don’t own any of them but credits goes to the rightful owners however edits goes and the reading itself belong to me. I use the editor tools canva and ibispaint for the header and divider. If saved/downloaded the divider use a proper credits and tag/mention along my acc @tarotwithdanise. Expect grammatical errors with this reading, bear with it because english isn't my mother tongue.
💌 check out my back-up account @danisetarot bio ; click the link, choose your favorite deals that you wanted to purchase and then send all of them to my email account ([email protected])
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PILE ONE
Right off the bat, you manifested this person to come on your way. I think this person won't approach you at first, it's look like they just gonna watch you from afar. I also sense here that this is your faith with them, a strong romantic soulmate connection will developed when they first met you. This is why they attached to you immediately when they first meet you. Their impression will be like "Ah this person looks like been through a rough life but able to shine" they will see this glow from you, the way you act and especially when you finally made an eye contact with them. Since you have the emperor card here, there's a high chances that maybe this person can be intimidated by you like maybe you have this cold pair of eyes or maybe you have this habit of rbf and probably you may have this very powerful aura and confident within yourself. You might have this stoic and stern impression or if not, you have this kind of million dollar smile. They probably view you as someone who is physically beautiful and someone who might be into glamour, someone who loves to spend money on their beauty and looks. This person think you are charming and breath taking when they first see you.
For some, i'm getting they will see you as someone who is warm, very loving and kind-hearted. From their eyes you are totally 100% attractive, someone who is matured, who is quite possibly, curvy with a large full of figure regardless to gender. And oh, this person has a confident too, they knew from the start that you will like them when they approach you lol. Wait let me see more here, why the woman is looking far away from the sea? Oh i get it now, This person knows you are waiting for them, so you don't need to worry or hurry when it comes to love and this can indicate as well that you might need to focus more on self right now and probably you may need some growth experiences.
As well this is indicates a long distance relationship, they might frequently travel with your own home country or if not, you and them might be in the same country but might come from different cities. I also seeing here with this 3oW card, this indicates to me of "The one is waiting and the one are leaving then comes back" With the wild waves being presented here, this person might view you as someone who may have an unpredictable nature.
For the rest of this pile, their first impression of you is someone who is considerate, wise and thoughtful especially when you two get to know each other and have deep conversations. Overall, this person will think you are someone who is matured from the way you talk even though it's not really meeting your age line and there's a high possibility that they are someone who is older than you (age gap is here). This person will know you are not someone who is can be easily to manipulate with and someone who rarely lies (white lies). Because of this qualities of yours, they will fall much harder for you and they may see you as someone who can be with them in the future.
Someone who knows how to have fun and have playful personality, even though the way you think or view things are very matured, you also know how to joke around like you can be a clown like or you are very funny person. They will admire, adore and love you the first time they see you since they will know you are their other half. They are head over heels for you and would do anything for you. You will capture their heart at the very first time you two meet.
extra messages :
initials and numbers : T, A, R,O, 10-17-4-12-7-3.
Free Spirit, Long distance relationship, Henna Tattoos, Riding Motorbike, Rope, Tied The Knot, Bell, Purple Crystal, Organized, Rude, Medium To Black Skin Color, At The Back Yard, Helpful, Playful, Same Age, Older Man, Yellow Dress, Running, Football, Medium Hair Length , Manifesting, Hot Intimacy, Red Sneakers, Hoodies , Watch, Crown, Beach And Fishes.
zodiac signs - that play important roles on their chart.
aquarius, gemini and aries, water and earth signs.
surprise and leave a small tip to your favorite tarot reader here.
channeled song from playlist :
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PILE TWO
Their first impression is that they'll see you as someone who is heartbreaker that can potentially break their heart into pieces, someone who can leave them behind perhaps all of the love you have shown for them, they think you are type of individual who have a lot choices when it comes choosing a right partner for you. They probably thinking that you are someone who is creative too. Someone who can be an overthinker and cannot stand too long for a relationship. Someone who is observant maybe you are one of these people who is very quite, shy and likes to observe about what happenings on the surroundings and they might notice this when you first meet them. You are totally giving off the vibes of being a bad boy or bad girl like they probably view you as someone who is playing around and likes to entertain others without any hesitation. And somehow, you can be or might be manipulative when it comes in the relationship for example depending of what you really needs from your partner from a specific situation.
For some of you, I'm getting that their first impression will be — You came off to them as someone who is strong and looking for their soul. Someone who gives up and goes away when things get tough. However, this impression will changed when they know you deeply. Like their impression will be from disappointed to a very positive way so i can totally say that their first impression will not be good for you as you think. And maybe after this deep and serious conversation you will share with them. They will probably see you as someone who can build something successful with, someone whom they think can make a great foundation and union.
For the rest of this pile, their first impression to you will be like; This is someone who is exhausted and under alot emotional strain. You might meet this person through friends or social gathering and right off the bat they will see you immediately when you enter the room but they won't feel the what we so called "spark" at first sight, like they won't even have an idea that you will be their future spouse. They might see you as a trouble maker or if not, someone who might bring chaos or conflict. They will see and notice you at a very first moment but they don't have interest for you but it's like they won't make any actions because for them you seems unpredictable in some way and you may challenge their inner belief systems. It may refer to the way you entered their life or how you have changed them as an individual. That can effect on how they view you or see you. You will have a significant effect on their life that they will treasure for the rest of their life.
extra messages
Cold, Intelligent, Petite, Cute Couple, Small Height, Idiot, Heartbreaker, Spacing Out, Tears, "I Don't Fucking Care!", Cheerful Vibes, Bully, Away, Loss, Squirrel, Globe, Travel, Cottagecore, Sewing, Yellow, Fight, Jealous, Old, Brown, Uneven Teeth, Fun, Grey, Cocky, Hat/caps, "Don't forget to enjoy your journey while chasing your dreams" Owl Person, J, T , 6, 8, 10, 16, 2 and 7.
zodiac signs - that play important roles on their chart.
taurus, capricorn, scorpio and libra.
surprise and leave a small tip to your favorite tarot reader here.
channeled song from playlist :
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PILE THREE
With the three of cups here you might meet this person in a party or social gatherings. For some, i'm getting that you may meet them through social media platforms. If this is a out social gatherings - I see here that you dress beautifully where all of your curves showing with this clothing but for a short description you will or may already meet this person through your connection with others. They will turn on or it's a head turner dressing style. I think you already met this person, it's either one of you is waiting for the right time to approach the another person because this another person looks like they come from a heartbreak.
Their first impression of you is that they will see as you as someone who can do everything. This person is like those type of people who is patiently waiting without any sure assurance from the other one. Are you ambivert? It's like you are avoiding this person with your first encounter with them where they can say to themselves "Weird, why they kind of shy or elusive towards me?". And yes, you might come of as someone who isn't friendly for them at first encounter.
Furthermore, this person will notice your imperfections and how you get uncomfortable with the crowd. They will notice you kind of clumsy individual? You frequently make mistakes because of shyness. Perhaps, all of this. They will fall in love with you and with your imperfections, you are come off as a great person for them. Idk but you giving a vibes of person who usually quite yet danger when they get mad.
For some, they will see you as someone who is fair — libra traits. You might meet this person through school, university or work, and you seems nerd for them like someone who is studious person. If you are student now — seems like you are taking the courses like business, medical, law, science or arts related or creative works. You might be someone who is creative and likes to do arts e.g painting, journaling, crafting etc.. I honestly don't want to lie, don't expect this person to be that too good looking physically but they know how to dress and fashion themselves right. Alsolso they might appear as someone who is attractive for others but not for everyone. Cute, they will have a crush on you right away, it's like you will caught this person staring at you all the time and then they will be shy but still gonna stare at you anyway when you are not looking.
extra messages
2028 - 2030, B, M , Traveling, 18, Clumsy, "Hope for the best but prepare for the worst" , Possessive, Playing Golf, Black, Hair Clips, Summer, Vintage, Pink, Blonde Hair, Rushing Hours, Stairs, Violet/purple, Feminine, Bald, Blue, Hooded Eyes, City, Big, Alone, Busy And Blossom,
zodiac signs - that play important roles on their chart.
Air signs : Libra, Gemini, Aquarius. Earth signs : Taurus, Capricorn and Virgo.
surprise and leave a small tip to your favorite tarot reader here.
channeled song from playlist :
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PILE FOUR
This may sound cringe but this person first impression of you is that you are an angel came from heaven to save them. They think you are an angel at the first time you met them, you have this soft side for example your personality or the way you move or your face structure seems like very soft. This person might be into ballet dancing for years before you actually meet them or if not, they just simply had this dreams to be one otherwise this person have a flexible body. You are this type of individual who is usually go with the flow, someone who is easy going and probably someone who don't tend to think about their own problems rather you are a problem-solver individual and physically happy-go-lucky person for them. Perhaps, even though you were smiling it's hard for them to know whether if you are sad or not. You may come off as unpredictable individual through words and actions.
For some, I'm getting that they think you are someone who is very thoughtful, not too emotional and gets to be detached. Someone who wants nothing but to make their life live better. Also they view you as someone who can manage to soft at the same time, a person who can be hard as well. And I won't deny the fact that you are a very positive person, you screams positively to the point I'm seeing you as someone who is looking for the light and hope of something even the chances are small. Someone who is vivacious person and very sexy. You are someone who is the happiest person as always whether it's big or small, you know how to value things.
For the rest of this pile, i'm getting that this person see you as someone who is well respected from their community and from the people around them. In short, you are giving them a leader vibes. Someone who can do multi-tasking.
This person will like you without any hesitation. When time gets finally right, you two already together, this person probably gonna think you are out of their league. Also, you are someone who provides great insights and opinions about something, event, beliefs, animals, or even people. You two seems like mirroring each other. You share some similarities, interests and/or passions in life because somehow they notice this from you that you easily get triggered or get angry from a petty things. In addition, they knew from the start you do have tons of admirers but it seems like you are too blind to notice it.
extra messages :
Motorcycle, Love, Yellow, Jealous, Black, Scheduled, Movie, Green, Blue Eyes Color, Volleyball, Introvert, Possessive, Amber Eyes Color, Offer , 30, 33, 49, W, A, B, G, V, K And L.
zodiac signs - that play important roles on their chart.
The earth, water and fire signs is present on their birth chart especially on their big six such as moon in Leo. Capricorn and Cancer (sun, rising, venus, mercury and mars.)
surprise and leave a small tip to your favorite tarot reader here.
channeled song from playlist :
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PILE FIVE
This person first impression of you is that you are someone who knows how to protect themselves from harmful environment. You maybe meet this person in a garden or somewhere surrounded by nature where the stars shines brighter than they're. It can be from occasion or a party from a wide garden and/or house. When you actually meet them, they might asked you about (or vise versa) for a helpful advice even though you aren't really good with it they usually gonna appreciate your thoughtfulness and advises for them. They gonna think at that moment that you are a helpful and supportive person.
They gonna feel that it's time to open their heart and to share the half of it with you. When you used to get to know each other, they can guarantee that you are the one for them even there's a little doubt here. They will feel very committed to you. For some, i'm getting that when they first meet you. You made them drawn to you, where they can say to themselves when they're alone "Who really they're and why they keep bugging and ruining my mind 24/7?!". They probably gonna spend their whole day thinking about you, they just can't accept that they already fallen for you (yeah, in denial stage).
There's a lot of control issues might happen with them and their own ego. They need to stop what's is holding them back and start accepting things as they are. They should the Universe and Divine timing handling this connection. This connection is one of a kind, very special and unique to the point it cannot be defined through words.
extra messages :
Laces, Beaming Smile, White, Style, Billiard, Struggle, South America, South Korea, South Africa, South East Asia, Short Hair, Antarctica, School, Planner, I, S and X
zodiac signs - that play important roles on their chart.
Water sign : Scorpio, Cancer and Pisces as well the Libra
surprise and leave a small tip to your favorite tarot reader here.
channeled song from playlist :
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PILE SIX
You will meet this person something related to water such as beach, water park, in front/beside of a fountain, river, falls and etcetera. Their first impression to you is that you come off as an physically attractive individual for them. It's seems you are a blessings that they have seen on that day. There's a high chances that they will approach you first and start a conversation right away when they saw you. It's a first conversation and meeting? Yet you and them feel the connection that burning and tapping your own heart for the first time. This person wants to lavish you with their love, attention and affection.
This person love language is physical touch and words affirmation. I suddenly here this three powerful words "I love you" so they're already telling you these words even though you two haven't meet yet. It seems like they're wishing and hoping that you don't find and encounter someone who will able to hurt you or break your heart into pieces. This person is praying for your protection.
For some and for rest of this pile, they will knew when the first time you two meet that you are their true love. Someone who can turned their life upside down and someone who can be light when their dark days come. If this is a true love then this romance can be for lifetime! They view you as someone who can commit for a long time relationship but i see here there's stopping them to achieve this connection with you right now or vice versa and that's because of a family issue? If this is you or them you need to forgive your family especially your parents because somehow your family benefits your love life.
extra messages :
Headphones, Summer, Glasses, Stars, Flowers, Wallet, Juice, Violin, Gentle man, Hand Kisses, Dance, Get to know each other, Healing, Engagement Ring, Butterflies, 23, 7, Truth, Elevate your energy, T, Z , Y And D.
zodiac signs - that play important roles on their chart.
I mostly getting fire signs especially the Aries with little bit influence of Virgo and Venus.
surprise and leave a small tip to your favorite tarot reader here.
channeled song from playlist :
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Made with love, Danise.
© tarotwithdanise ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, alter, or repost my work in any other social media platforms with or without my explicit permission.
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630 notes · View notes
gamerwoman3d · 5 months
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Time to play big gif little gif. Little gifs above cut. Big gifs below cut to save scroller's bandwidth.
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deandoesthingstome · 1 year
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Holiday Angel
Pairing: CEO!August Walker x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 18K; Um. You’re welcome? Get some snacks and water.
@fvckinghenrycavill asked nicely, so I'm releasing this earlier than planned. Also, I think @mayloma might be waiting patiently?
Warnings: age difference (m 40′s, f 20′s; it’s your best friend’s dad for god’s sake), mention of cheating, mention of phone sex, masturbation (f), light!dom (m)/sub (f), praise kink, lingerie, oral sex (m and f receiving), fingering, p in v sex in various positions, protected sex, light bondage, spanking and ass play; if this doesn’t sound like something you’d be into, I won’t be offended if you scroll on by
A/N: Let's be clear: I've only seen MI:Fallout once. I really only know August from Tumblr. This is an AU, where he is not a traitorous anarchist. I also am not comfortable writing a strict dom, so please take a softer August than you may be used too. Additionally, you are a US college Junior in this story (21-ish). Don't worry, I'm not 21 either. Trust me. It's okay. This is a fantasy.
I've also been extremely self-indulgent here. You're gonna see some names you might recognize. You might wonder what college you go to, where in the US you are, or what year it is. I have taken many liberties. Please absolutely enjoy them. (And if anyone was following along with this post, you may notice a scene change. Trying out my inclusivity options.)
And I have a Spotify playlist I used for various scene inspiration if you're interested.
Disclaimer: I don’t own August Walker (could anyone really tie him down?), but I do own these words and this story. Do not repost as your own. Likes, Reblogs, and Comments are more than welcome. It’s how I get my nourishment.
Header by me. Dividers by the ever wonderful and giving @firefly-graphics.
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You dropped the Blue Book for your last final on Professor Marshall's desk and skipped out of the room with glee, suppressing the urge to turn back and grab one more mental image of the grumpy professor for the road.
Christmas break was officially on!
Gemma was waiting in the loading zone outside McKinney Hall, her brand new Audi packed with both your bags and ready for the five hour road trip home.
"Bitch, what took you so long?" she teased, knowing you were actually a little early. You had breezed through the test and ran back to the dorms to meet her. She handed you your favorite iced coffee indulgence, a special treat for making it through the week.
"Let's hit it!" you shouted, turning up the volume on the Spotify playlist Gemma had primed and ready to go.
You swapped driving duties halfway, stopping at a drive-thru to grab french fries to supplement the cut fruit and snacks you packed for the trip.
"God, I am craving salt right now!" Gemma exclaimed.
"Auntie on the way?" you sympathized.
"Yesss," Gemma groaned. "And Mikey wants to meet up first thing when he flies in on Sunday. God I hope she gets lost on the way!"
"How's that been going? Long distance and all."
You were glad you and Gemma had decided NOT to room together again after the fiascos of Freshman and Sophomore year. It was only through the saving grace of several grueling classes that kept you library or study group bound for a good portion of the time that you had been able to overcome the petty drama.
It was Gemma's father who had actually suggested she move off campus alone this year and you were pleased to find a lighter class load that allowed you to spend more quality time with your childhood best friend without wanting to rip her face off every five minutes. He was so wise, that Mr. Walker.
But living apart kept you from knowing every single detail of each other's lives, so the drive was a perfect time to catch up on the minutiae.
"It's been weird, honestly. I mean, hooking up last summer was totally unexpected. I can't believe he finally let Chelsea go, but what a fucking night that was!" Gemma squealed as you tamped down your jealousy.
Everyone in high school had the hots for Mike, and you were no exception. But Gemma caught his eye at the last hurrah before heading back to college this past September and, well, girl code. Even if your tastes in men hadn’t already started changing, he was off your list forever now. Especially because he had actually seemed hellbent on making a true go of it with her, promising nightly calls that unfortunately turned weekly as the semester dragged on.
"He's seemed a little distant lately. Distracted. That missed call on Halloween really had me questioning everything he said about giving us a shot. But he's been making it up to me. The phone sex..."
"Stop. Please. I don't want to hear about him slapping one out over the phone," you laughed.
"He sounds so sexy when he comes. Long distance or otherwise."
"Ugh, god. Stop!"
"What? Like you don't love it too! What's up with you and Charlie?"
"Fuck him,” you scoffed. “D'you know, I caught him with Brigette?"
"Your roommate Brigette?"
"Yup. Right before finals started. I need to find a new living situation for next semester, stat!"
"God, why didn't you say something??? Are you okay?"
"I'm surprisingly fine. Things hadn't been so hot lately and honestly, I just don't think he's for me."
"What, missionary all the way?"
You both laughed until the tears were running.
"You should've seen his face when I asked to be on top once. It was like I killed his dog or something."
"Jesus, yeah. You're better off. You need a real man," Gemma declared.
You laughed again, but it came out with a hitch in your throat. A real man was right.
"What was that?" Gemma asked.
"What was what?" you feigned innocence, and held your breath.
"You laughed like you're hiding something. You got a thing going with one of your professors?"
You exhaled as normally as possible. Easy enough to fib your way out of this one with an opening like that.
"God, nothing's going on. But have you seen Professor Marshall? I alternately congratulate and kick myself for choosing a criminal justice major. That man is so fine to look at," you let out a whistle. "It's distracting!"
"So I've heard. Think it's too late to switch majors?"
"Why would I?"
"Not you, silly! Me," Gemma laughed.
"Your father would be so disappointed if you didn't finish your business degree. Who's he gonna leave the company to?" You winked at her, knowing she wanted nothing to do with it. She was only playing along, hoping to find a college boyfriend that would be able to keep her in the lifestyle to which she was accustomed.
You didn't think Mikey was it, but hey. Neither your circus nor your monkeys. You chatted for a bit longer before Gemma dropped into a light sleep. Girl could never last in the car as a passenger on long drives. The hum of the road put her out if she wasn’t in charge of driving.
While she slept, you thought about Mr. Walker. 
When did this infatuation start? You’d met Gemma, and by extension Mr. Walker, in 5th grade after your parents had moved across town and into a new school district. Mrs. Walker had already passed and you don’t know why Gemma’s father never remarried, but you also never saw or heard about him bringing a woman home to meet her.
In high school, when you really started paying attention to boys, you began to notice how good looking Mr. Walker was. But the most you ever hoped for was to meet a boy who would grow up to be as handsome. It wasn’t until lately, when some of your college professors had piqued your interest, that you began to fantasize about him, too. This might be a long week.
You pulled up the scenic drive and parked in front of the Walker residence around 8pm. Gemma blinked her eyes opened and stretched before getting out of the car.
"You sure it's okay I stay here until my parents get back?" you leaned over the gear shift to call out the door. "I can't believe they scheduled a whole house reflooring right before Christmas and then skipped town on me to boot."
"It's totally fine. Dad's probably gonna be busy 24-7 at the office so we'll have the run of the house. And thank God for heated pools!"
You kept your mouth shut, knowing if you showed any interest at all in why Mr. Walker would be so busy this close to the end of the year your face would probably melt off from the heat you felt every time you thought about him lately. Let alone the image of him in swim trunks in the pool. Or not in swim trunks.
Gemma leaned back into the open passenger door and you snapped out of it.
"Coming?"
You turned your whole body to open the driver door, desperate to hide from her the wanton desire you were sure adorned your face. Coming, indeed.
You both grabbed your bags from the back seat and headed up the pristine sidewalk towards the stately mid-century modern mansion Gemma called a "house". The thing could host a Hollywood premiere party and was decorated with such understated glamor you wouldn't be surprised if it would play backdrop to such a party one day. Or maybe a movie set.
The tall, rich wooden door had a thin vertical metal handle stretching from a quarter of the way down the right side, stopping a quarter of the way up from the bottom. A warm glow streamed through the large panels of windows stretching across the front of the house and exposing the elegantly decorated Christmas tree in the front living room surrounded by sleek, minimal furniture.
When Gemma finally tapped in the key code and opened the door, you stepped into the flagstone entryway and smiled at the white lights nestled in the pine garland covering the banisters of the floating stairs leading up to the master bedroom and sitting area loft, then down to the basement holding several guest rooms, the fitness and media rooms, as well as Gemma's room.
Another couple guest room suites could be found on the main entry level along with the custom gourmet kitchen and pantry, dining area, mud and laundry rooms. You knew Mr. Walker's home office was somewhere on this level as well, though you'd never dared venture down the hall to find it. He’d always made it very clear it was off limits. 
You were dying to sink into the oversized conversation couch that surrounded the sunken floor of the family room in the back of the house and stare off into the fire or out the back windows onto the deck overlooking the pool but Gemma called for you to follow her downstairs first.
"I have to get out of these clothes and then we'll DoorDash."
"No need, sweetheart." Your heart stopped as you heard the deep voice call from upstairs. "I made dinner, it's just warming in the oven. I'll get plates ready for you both, so hurry settling in."
"Dad! I thought you'd still be at the office!" Gemma exclaimed, dropping her bags and heading to the landing to give her father a hug and turning her head away to accept his kiss on the cheek.
"Well, I couldn't let you two eat cold takeout. They can never keep it warm on the drive out here." He turned, letting go of Gemma and opening his arms to you in what should have been a normal welcoming gesture if you hadn’t just been fantasizing about him half the ride home. "Good to see you again."
You suppressed a flustered squeak and pressed your lips together to stifle the drool, thankful Gemma was now behind her father and couldn't see your face as you reached for the hug. But he could. Did. For sure. Fuck.
"Thank you so much, Mr. Walker. That's very kind of you," you managed to reply while trying not to inhale his scent too deep.
"It was nothing," he let go of you and stepped back, slipping his hands slowly into the pockets of his dress slacks.
Were you staring at his muscular forearms, visible below the line of his crisp, white rolled up sleeves? God, you were. Get a fucking grip.
"We'll be right back, Dad. Thanks."
Gemma led you downstairs and sent you off to your regular overnight room down the hall from hers. You were grateful both rooms had their own bathrooms so you didn't have to pass her on your way to splash cold water on your face.
How were you going to survive these next few days before your parents came back with your aunt, uncle, and cousin for Christmas? Gemma wasn't wrong about needing a real man. You'd put up with immature boys all through high school.
Once you started college, a series of gorgeous, educated older men led your lectures over the last few years and your desires had slowly shifted. It really was no problem that Charlie had cheated on you. Perfect opportunity to drop him and move on to something more meaningful. And hopefully someone more experienced.
Has Mr. Walker been in your sights all along? No. No way. But here he was now. It wasn't right to think about him this way, but fuck he looked good tonight, that fluffy curl hanging down and that porn 'stache. What else could you call it? He even had a little of the scruff you'd really enjoyed seeing on Professor Marshall. You wondered how it would feel between your... You heaved a sigh. This can not happen.
You splashed another round of cold water and then dried your face, swapped your jeans for light cotton joggers, and then climbed the stairs to join Gemma and her dad in the dining room.
"There you are," Mr. Walker announced, standing at the head of the table with a bottle in his hand. "We thought you'd gotten lost." He flashed what felt like a knowing smirk as you froze in your tracks.
"Dad, don't be daft. She knows her way around the house." She turned to you from her seat to the right of her father and motioned to your usual guest spot across the table from her, to the left of Mr. Walker.
"Oh, let me have my fun, Gemma. Would you girls like some wine?"
"'Girls', dad? Really?"
"What would you prefer?"
"Ladies?"
Mr. Walker chuckled as he picked up the bottle and poured two glasses of wine.
"Right then. There you go, ladies."
He tilted his head to the side and glanced at you as he split his arms and passed the glasses over by the stems. You did your best to grab the bowl, but his fingers shifted up slightly as he released your glass. You heated again as they brushed the back of your hand and you took a sip immediately, trying to cover the pleasure that had to be apparent on your face.
You set the glass down and picked up your knife and fork, preparing to dig into the plate of luscious looking food in front of you. You took a bite and tried to suppress it, but a groan slipped out of your mouth as your eyes rolled closed. You closed your lips and chewed the fork-tender meat, marveling at it melting away in your mouth. When you finished swallowing, you opened your eyes to find Gemma staring at you, mouth agape.
You turned your head to find Mr. Walker's piercing blue eyes trained on yours as he leaned casually against the arm of the oversized dining chair.
"Enjoying it?"
You blinked and remembered where you were, who you were with.
"Mr. Walker, these short ribs are divine!" you declared. 
"Jesus. You act like you never ate a home-cooked meal before," Gemma snapped.
"Sorry, I just," you shook your head to clear the fog. "I mean you’ve always been a great cook, I've just never tasted anything like this."
"It's good, right?" Mr. Walker asked. “I’ve been expanding my repertoire lately.”
"It really is. Oh my god I'm so embarrassed! Gemma, I'm sorry. That was..."
You stared at her across the table with a silent plea, your eyes begging her to say something, anything. You were about to give up completely when Gemma burst into laughter, tears streaming down her face.
"You absolute freak!" she laughed and you let out a breath and laughed with her.
You kept your shit together during the rest of the dinner for the most part. But Mr. Walker poured another few glasses of wine and you could feel yourself getting tipsy.
"I think I need to head to bed, but do you need any help in the kitchen, Mr. Walker?" you asked.
"No, but thank you for the offer. Be careful down those stairs." Did he wink at you?
"See you in the morning!" Gemma called, with a lightness that told you she had well and truly forgiven the awkwardness of just an hour or so ago.
You peeled off your thin sweater and discarded your bra, leaving just a lacy camisole and your joggers. You pulled back the thick pile of covers on the bed and were about to climb in, when a wave of thirst overtook you.
You opened the bedroom door and stepped softly into the hall. The Walkers always kept a mini-fridge stocked in the media room down here. You froze as you entered the doorway.
"Oh, Mr. Walker! I was just..."
"I thought you might want a bottle of water for your nightstand."
You exhaled a small laugh as you both spoke at the same time, but then froze again as you watched the way he held the bottle. Low, at his hips. One hand on the base, the other fiddling with the cap.
" Wh..where's Gemma?" you practically whispered, unable to get your voice to cooperate suddenly.
"She's finishing up the dishes. I’m sure she'll be right down," he replied with a firm, confident tone. "Did you want this?"
He gave a slight nod in the direction of his hands, where you saw he was now tipping the bottle back and forth, before finally offering it to you with an outstretched arm and hand gripped firm around the plastic form.
"Here. Take it."
You nodded and reached for the bottle, once again trying to avoid his touch. Once again finding your fingers brushing against his.
“There you go.” 
Your stomach dropped along with his voice as you realized what a terrible idea staying here was. There was no way you were going to be able to hide your desire from Gemma if her father was going to keep acting like this. Time stood still while you tried to move something, anything. Your eyes away from his. Your mouth to say thank you. Your feet to head back to your room.
"Let's get you back to bed," he stepped forward, turning you with a hand on your shoulder, then sliding that hand down your side to your waist and guiding you down the hall.
He stopped at the door frame, pressing you gently into the room. You almost moaned at the loss of his touch as you stepped out of his reach and sat on the edge of the bed, finally finding your voice.
"Thank you, Mr. Walker."
"Sweet dreams." He absolutely winked at you. Fuck.
He pulled the door shut, leaving you all alone with the crazy feelings stirring inside you. This is your best friend's father. You reclined back in the bed. Snap out of it. Girl code isn't just about boyfriends. Pulled the covers over you. Besides, he's like, twice your age, at least. Stared at the dark ceiling, while your fingers shifted under the covers and down your belly. But the way he looked at you tonight. Slipped a hand past the waistband of your pants. He wasn't just being polite. Tentatively touched the heat between your legs.
He was flirting, there was no denying it. Maybe you could have written off the hand brush at dinner, but he was showing off with the bottle of water. He wanted you to look.
You swirled a finger gently through your folds, gathering the slick and spreading it around. You thought about his mischievous grin, his tailored pants, and his strong hands before plunging two fingers deep inside, pulling them back out slowly to circle your clit.
"More," you whispered to yourself, then obliged with fingers deep again, arching your back for better positioning.
"Right there," you moaned quietly, letting the fantasy circle around your head. You pumped in and out, curling deep to find your sweet, spongy spot while you toyed with the idea of letting him touch you.
"Please," you begged, pressing a thumb against your clit, twitching with anticipation. You couldn't wait any longer.
You pulled your slick fingers from your clenching walls and focused all your attention on your clit, rubbing tenderly while you imagined his mouth on you.
"God, Mr. Walker!" you gasped, finally reaching your peak. "August," you whispered, rolling to your side and clasping the blanket close around you while you worked to slow your heart rate before drifting off to sleep.
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You woke late on Saturday. It was 10 am when you looked at the clock. The floor to ceiling blackout curtains had really done their job.
You skipped the shower, even though you craved one after the long drive and your private activity the night before. Instead, you just washed your face and wrapped a thin robe around yourself before heading up to find breakfast. Gemma was sitting at the kitchen counter typing away on her phone, empty cereal bowl in front of her.
“Oh, good. You’re up! And you didn’t shower already, perfect. Grab a bite and then let’s hang in the hot tub this morning. I have a kink in my neck from that car ride I need to work out!”
You poured yourself a bowl of cereal and mug of steaming coffee and took a seat in a low back leather barstool next to Gemma. She let you eat in silence while she finished her text conversation.
“Ugh,” she exclaimed, slamming the phone on the counter. “I can’t believe Mike got put on shift at the end of finals week.”
“That why he couldn’t get home already?”
“Yeah, says it’s like a right of passage for all new bartenders at the club. Business is light, but they schedule you with a threat that you’ll lose shifts the following semester if you don’t stay to serve the stragglers and the few locals who pop in the bar once the college crowd clears out for break.”
“But he’ll be home tomorrow, right?”
“Yep. You done?” She watched for your nod. “Well get changed and let’s hit the tub.”
You headed back downstairs to your room and fished your bikini out of your luggage. After changing, you threw the curtains aside and pulled open the sliding door leading to the heated pool deck. Gemma must have had her suit on under her robe because she was already soaking by the time you stepped outside.
You slipped into the bubbling water, immediately grateful for the suggestion. The warmth began to work on your own tension you hadn’t even realized you were holding and you let out a little moan.
“I hear you on that,” Gemma stated. “I hate long car rides! They fuck with my spinal alignment.”
“Yeah, this water feels so good.” You closed your eyes and tilted your head back against the side of the tub, sinking as deep as you could without dipping your face in the water. You snapped up when you heard the splash and blinked your eyes open to see a figure skimming under the water from the far deep end of the pool to the shallow end closer to where you sat in the hot tub.
When Mr. Walker popped his head above water and hung on the side of the pool to say good morning, you were ever so grateful for the steam hiding any lust in your eyes. 
“Hey dad.” Gemma turned from her spot to face him. 
“Are you ladies getting in the pool this morning?” he smirked.
“No, I think we’re just gonna soak and then go veg in front of the TV for a bit,” she replied, hanging off the side of the hot tub.
“Alright, well, I’m headed out to check on a few sites this afternoon. Should I plan on you for dinner or have you made other arrangements?” Mr. Walker asked.
“Dinner here sounds great, dad. Thanks.”
Gemma turned back to you as you watched Mr. Walker duck back into the water and begin a series of laps. You fluttered your eyes closed so she couldn’t see how blown your pupils were, watching him first speak with Gemma and then propel his body through the water. God, he was practically naked over there. You were practically naked over here. You leaned your head back again to pray for relief.
When you both felt loose and relaxed enough, you climbed out of the hot tub, grabbing an oversized towel from the lidded basket next to the pool to dry off. You were just bending over to reach your lower legs and feet when you heard the splash of footsteps on the pool stairs.
“Right then, that’s me done. And don’t you two load up on snacks while I’m gone. You’ll spoil your appetite.”
You held your breath as he leaned next to you to grab a towel, another mysterious smirk on his face as he rose to face you. You stood and pulled your towel up your body, pretending to wipe non-existent water from your face just to avoid any further eye contact. His body was amazing and his wet swim trunks were clinging to his thighs. If Gemma caught you staring, you were done for.
When it felt safe, you lowered the towel from your face and watched him pad up the staircase leading to the main level before entering the house. Your heart was beating a million miles per hour, but luckily Gemma was already heading inside herself.
You showered finally, then donned some comfy loungewear and joined Gemma in the media room where she’d already cued up Netflix.
“Ready to binge The Witcher?” she asked. “They just released the new season last night.”
“Ugh, that man could raw-dog me all day and night!” 
“Where is the lie???!!!???” she laughed with you.
You grabbed some water from the mini-fridge, doing your best to ignore the scene from last night that popped into your head as you settled into an oversized, reclining theater seat. Gemma paused the autoplay on the third episode and asked if you wanted some lunch. You were hungry, alright. But yeah, a sandwich sounded good.
There were still at least 3 more episodes of the season left, when Mr. Walker called down around 6.
“I’m starting dinner now. It’ll be ready shortly.”
“We’ll help,” Gemma called and flipped off the tv. You both headed upstairs to the kitchen. Gemma began to set the dining table, so you sat at the kitchen counter and asked what you could do.
“You could prep that basil for me,” Mr. Walker replied. “Here, like this.”
You watched rapt, as he proceeded to show you how he wanted you to tear the leaves gently into small pieces. When he was sure you had it right, he drizzled some olive oil in a large shallow saute pan and waited for it to warm before tossing in two packages of gnocchi. 
He stirred them around for a few minutes and when he was satisfied by their state, he ladeled them out into a serving bowl. He scooped out a few and offered them over the counter to you and Gemma. You each plucked a warm, crispy potato pillow from the spoon and you sighed when you popped it in your mouth, happy that Gemma was making the same noise and you wouldn’t be called out this time. Something about food with Mr. Walker was becoming increasingly sensual to you.
He added some more olive oil and then butter to the pan, waiting for it to melt before pouring in the heirloom cherry tomatoes he’d asked you to dry off from the colander in the deep sink. He sprinkled in some salt and gave them a quick stir, then turned to the open the fridge, pulling out a bottle of wine.
He poured three glasses set on the counter and pushed two towards you and Gemma with his fingers pressed on the base of the stems. Then he raised his own glass.
“I’m glad you’re home, sweetheart,” he tipped his glass to Gemma, and then toward you. “Both of you, of course.”
You took a small sip, watching over the rim as he did the same and you held your breath while your eyes trailed along his throat as he swallowed, hoping Gemma didn’t notice you staring. 
The three of you chatted amicably, while Mr. Walker stirred the tomatoes in the pan until they began to burst, at which point he dumped the crispy gnocchi back into the pan. You watched in awe as he lifted the heavy pan with one hand and gave it a good toss, shifting it back and forth with subtle little wrist flicks that nestled the gnocchi into the simple sauce. Then he stirred in some fresh mozzarella pearls and some of the hand-torn basil, giving you a wink of thanks, before popping the whole thing under the broiler. 
He asked Gemma to carry the salad and offered you the last pour of wine before sending you off to the dining room with a fresh bottle. Seated at your usual spot, you piled a moderate amount of the bubbly dish onto your plate, inhaling the heavenly scent of basil and tomato. Mr. Walker raised an eyebrow as he held a small bowl of shaved parmesan in your direction. When you nodded, he held the dish for you while you sprinkled the cheese over your plate, eyes watching you the whole time. The fact that he simply turned and handed the bowl to Gemma to let her hold it while she sprinkled her own cheese was not lost on you.
The white wine wasn’t affecting you the way the red had the night before, so once dinner was over, you and Gemma helped clean up and then headed downstairs to finish out the season before going to bed. 
You woke yourself up in the middle of the night with your hand down your pants again, teasing your slit while you recalled the dream. 
A rugged man with long silvery hair helped you down off his horse and led you to a blanket in a clearing near a steamy pool of water. From a small bowl, he plucked a tiny ripe tomato with his fingers and gently pressed it into your waiting mouth. You sighed as the tomato burst when you bit into it and shivered when he bent over to lick the juice running down your chin with the tip of his tongue before pressing you to your back and holding you down with a heavy kiss. You whispered his name into the night once again as you came. 
“August.”
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In the morning, you peeled the covers back and stretched your way out of bed. The pleasure of the mid-slumber release you gave yourself last night still tingled in your mind. You showered and dressed, then climbed the stairs again searching for Gemma and hopefully breakfast, missing that her door was still closed. You stopped short seeing Mr. Walker alone in the kitchen.
“Good morning. Did you sleep alright?” He spoke with a suspicious tone. It was like he knew. How could he know?
You swallowed and tried to find your voice. “I did. Thank you.”
“Coffee?” He held the french press up and grabbed a mug when you nodded. “I have a frittata here, too, if you’d like some.” 
“Yes, please. Smells amazing,” you inhaled and closed your eyes slowly, remembering the meals from the last few nights as well. “You’re a really good cook, Mr. Walker.” 
“I certainly try,” he winked at you. “So what do you two have going on today?”
“I don’t know. Mike gets in this afternoon and I think Gemma wants to meet up with him.”
“Will you be joining them?”
You blinked and swallowed. How do you tell a father that his daughter is probably going to be getting railed six ways to Sunday tonight, so no, you wouldn’t be joining them?
“Uh…”
“Morning!” Gemma’s cheery greeting broke the tension and you were thankful you didn’t have to tell Mr. Walker that the reunion tonight was for Gemma alone. She gave her father a peck on the cheek and poured herself a cup of coffee.
“Gemma, sweetheart, are you meeting Mike tonight?” Mr. Walker asked.
“I am!” she grinned.
“Alone?”
“Yeaahhhh…” she answered, just short of shy. “Sorry dad, I probably should have said something earlier. But you can handle a night without me, right?”
Mr. Walker stared at her for a moment and suddenly all the tension was back in the room. He had to know what was going to go on tonight. How could he not?
“I’m sure I can figure something out. But please, be safe.”
You pursed your lips and widened your eyes as you turned away from them. Was he saying what it sounded like he was saying? Did he have no illusions about the extracurricular activities of his one and only daughter? Sure, she was of age and he had to know what she got up to away from home, but still. If you had to tell your parents you were going to be skipping a night home with them to get it on with your boyfriend, you’d probably melt into the furniture.
“Always am,” Gemma exclaimed cheerfully. 
“Alright, well, I’m off. I have some work to finish up here and then a few more site visits to make today.”
“On a Sunday, dad, really?”
“We’re very close to closing this deal and it has to be done before the end of the year. I want to be sure the due diligence is correct so I don’t get stuck with a billion dollar dud when everything is said and done.”
“You’re obsessed.”
“About the things I care about, why wouldn’t I be? You two have fun today. Gemma, I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow?” He raised an eyebrow at her.
“Not before you get home, unless you’re not going into the office tomorrow?”
“To be determined.” He gave you both a short goodbye wave and headed out.
“Awk - ward…” you sing-songed, once you were sure he was out of range.
“Ugh, I know. He’s not stupid. I mean, he knows I’m active, but it’s still a little weird being so forthcoming with him about it.”
“Has he ever had anyone…” you asked before you could filter the thought.
“I mean, you’re here all the time when I’m home. Have you ever seen him bring a woman around? I know he’s dated over the years, but no one’s ever good enough for him. They never last so he never wants to introduce us. It’s a little sad, really.”
You nodded in agreement.
“Do you want to have a swim and sit in the hot tub for a bit again this morning? Mikey’s flight gets in at 3, so I was hoping you and I could head into town for lunch and maybe some shopping and then you could drop me at his place and drive my car back here. Unless you want to meet up with anyone, of course.”
“Sounds perfect. I’m honestly just looking forward to another veg fest tonight.”
You changed into your bathing suit and slipped a robe over top, then met Gemma on the heated pool deck. 
“I can’t get over how warm it is right now! Clearly no hope for a white Christmas.”
“I know! Air’s still a bit chilly, but yeah, sucks. I’d love snow for the holidays,” you replied, dropping your towel on a lounge chair and untying your robe. You slid the fabric off your shoulders, and stepped down the stairs into the warm, salt water pool. You let your body acclimate a bit before dipping your head completely under and pushing off the bottom to glide to the far side in one breath. When you surfaced, you grabbed a hold of the side of the pool and realized Mr. Walker was standing at his office windows, staring down at you.
He held your gaze for what felt like a moment too long, then turned away, presumably toward his desk, but impossible for you to see his face. Which, to be honest, was fine because for a minute it felt like he was going to burst through the windows and eat you up.
The splash as Gemma broke the surface next to you snapped you out of your reverie and she tugged you back from the side, urging you into an easy lap race. You swam back and forth the length of the pool about twenty times before stopping back at the shallow end.
“That all you got?” Gemma called, crawling away toward the deep end again. 
You stared after her, but let your gaze raise to the windows. His window. You could see nothing inside from this far away, the light tint blocking everything. But you knew he was there. Was he still sitting at his desk, typing a memo? On the phone, arranging an international meeting? Or was he back at the window, watching you with his hands in his pockets, struggling not to touch himself? Or fuck, maybe he was touching himself. You sank under the water before Gemma could reach you again.
“Hot tub?” she asked, when you bobbed to the surface.
“Hot tub,” you agreed.
You lounged in the even warmer, bubbling water for another 15 minutes or so, sending the last of your finals week jitters packing. This semester was over. Your relationship was over. There was nothing more you could do about your performance for either scenario. So you closed your eyes and let it all go with a sigh.
“There you are.”
“What?” you opened your eyes as Gemma spoke.
“You’ve been on edge. I know you said you didn’t care about Charlie, but something’s been bothering you. You just look so much more relaxed now. You good? Still okay about the plans for tonight? I don’t mean to leave you all alone, but…”
“I’m gonna be so good, Gem. Don’t worry about me. Let’s go. I want to see if that pop-up shop is still around. They have the cutest jewelry.”
“Yes!”
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You found the store you were looking for and bought a few new pairs of earrings. A long, thin drop chain pair and some geometric hoops, asking the clerk if you could wear the gold bar threaders out of the store. You also found a necklace for your mom and some jade bracelets for your aunt. Christmas shopping halfway done.
Gemma pulled you into a lingerie shop next. 
“I wanna get something sexy for tonight.” She tried on a few outfits and picked out a few for you to try on too.
“This is silly. I don’t have anyone to wear this stuff for anymore.”
“Oh, just wear it for yourself. Don’t you just feel luxurious in silk?”
You agreed and bought the dark blue, high cut silk romper with black lace trim and white flower print. It was maybe the sexiest thing you ever owned. And you were single. Awesome.
You and Gemma walked arm in arm to your favorite lunch spot, grabbing a table on the heated patio. You giggled conspiratorially together about how her evening with Mike would go, making sure you cut her off before she got too graphic. You did not want the details. Those were private, no matter how much Gemma liked to brag.
You hit a few more shops after lunch, nabbing a new sweater for your dad, a book from your uncle’s favorite author, and some art supplies for your cousin. You just had stocking stuffers left, so you hit up the candy shop after dropping Gemma at Mike’s.
You pulled Gemma’s car into the garage and let yourself into the basement to drop your bags down in your room, figuring you would just stay hidden and out of Mr. Walker’s way for the evening. But your stomach rumbled and you realized lunch had been hours ago. 
Before you could make it upstairs, you were distracted by the sounds of grunting and staccato smacks. You peered into the gym to find Mr. Walker throwing jabs and punches against a heavy bag. His back was to you and your mouth watered as you watched his shoulders and traps tense and ripple with each hit. From the amount of sweat dripping down his back and soaked into his tank and shorts, he’d clearly been at it for a while. He was shifting his feet back and forth in a little sparring dance and you were about to get caught out as he rotated around the bag. But you simply couldn’t move.
Mr. Walker had just pumped his arms preparing for the next hit as he rounded his target. He grabbed the bag to still it when he noticed you staring.
“Everything okay?” he asked, chest heaving.
You cleared your throat and suppressed the urge to turn and run.
“Everything’s, uh …just fine,” you smiled at him. “I was just on my way to grab a bite and heard the ruckus in here.”
“Sorry to sidetrack you.” He trained an intense stare on you, head tilting to the side. “But I was just about done anyway. If you don’t mind waiting, I can whip up something after I grab a shower?”
“That would be amazing, thank you Mr. Walker. Anything I can do to help get ready?”
He strode toward you now, grabbing a towel from the bench to wipe the sweat from his face. You watched rapt as a damp curl bounced back into place on his brow. 
“If you want to open a bottle of wine, feel free, but no need to do any heavy lifting in the kitchen. I’ve got it covered,” he winked at you with a devilish grin. Suddenly his hand was at your neck, fingers gently caressing the chain hanging from your ear. “Are these new?”
You swallowed and nodded, unable to respond.
“They’re pretty.”
“Thank you,” you practically whispered, trying not to sink to the floor before him.
You excused yourself and made your way back upstairs, wanting to simply escape his commanding presence and seek out a snack to tide you over. 
“Don’t spoil your dinner,” he called to you in the kitchen, his footsteps heavy on his way upstairs as well.
You sat with the banana you’d plucked from the fruit bowl and pondered the scene. 
Would he strip down in the bedroom or the bathroom? Would he stand under the rushing water for a bit and let the warm water loosen his muscles, hand against the wall, head hanging down? Did he touch himself? He had to touch himself, but did he use a bar or gel? Loofah? Washcloth? Or was he just running his hands all over his body now? How did he dry off? Towel over his head to shuffle those curls? Or bend over and get the legs, drying up the body first? Maybe he started with a swipe across his chest? Did he wrap that towel around his waist or just bare-ass it into the closet for a pair of sweats and a t-shirt? Barefoot? Slippers?
“Are you going to eat that?”
You jumped and dropped the banana that you hadn’t even taken one bite of to the counter.
“Oh, Mr. Walker, you startled me,” you gasped.
“You did seem rather in deep thought there. Anything I can help with?”
Why you expected him to be in a ratty pair of sweats and a t-shirt you’d never know. Mr. Walker had donned an elegant pair of loose linen pants and simple cashmere turtleneck sweater that did nothing to hide the muscles he’d been training just half an hour ago. He looked delicious.
“Here,” he reached for the as yet unpeeled banana, “let’s just put this away and get you something more substantial, okay?”
You made some light small talk about your recent semester and watched as he breezed around the kitchen, pulling out packages from the fridge and heating pans on the stove. In a mere matter of minutes he had turned a burner on to boil water and chopped asparagus, tomatoes, broccoli, and yellow peppers. When the water bubbled just right he tossed in a bag of fresh cavatelli. He asked about the rest of your Christmas plans while he sauted the vegetables in a fragrant lemon sauce. After draining the pasta, he tossed it in the pan along with a bit of pasta water, stirring to thicken up the sauce before adding some lemon zest and grated parm. Boyfriends? He asked as he ladled heaping portions into two wide flat bowls and set one down in front of you at the island.
“Thank you, Mr. Walker,” you said as you picked up your fork. “No, not anymore.”
“Please,” he rested his fists on the counter across from you.”I want you to call me August.’
“Okay. August,” you replied, as a jolt of pleasure raced through you straight to your cunt.
“Good girl.”
You closed your eyes and sighed, hoping it was masked as the enjoyment of the bite you took. August Walker wanted you as much as you wanted him. There was absolutely no doubt. When you opened your eyes, his icy blue stare greeted you while his mouth pulled into a sly smirk.
He lounged against the counter across from you, dish in hand, lifting bites of pasta to his mouth and chewing while he listened to you try to explain why it simply wasn’t working out with the men at college. It seemed to you that his breath got deeper with each failed relationship.
“I don’t know,” you sighed, licking an errant drop of sauce off the corner of your mouth. “It just feels like they aren’t really into it.”
“Into what?”
“Well, me. I guess. Into what I want.”
“And what do you want?”
“Something more…” you took a deep breath to stifle the jitters. You were about to proposition your best friend’s dad. “Passionate.”
His eyes widened ever so slightly, brow raised in surprise as if he did not expect that to be your answer. He set his plate down, abandoning the last bite, and slipped his hands in the pockets of his pants. And watched you watch. Yeah. He knew. Saw it the minute you walked in the house two days ago.
You dropped your fork to your plate and slid your chair back, standing to move around the island. 
“Can I help with the dishes?”
“Are dishes what you really want to be doing right now?” he quirked an eyebrow at you.
“Not really, no,” you stepped closer, heart pounding in your chest. “August.”
He pulled his hands from his pockets and placed them against your cheeks, fingers wrapping around the nape of your neck, but with no pressure at all.
“So, listen. I want you to be really sure about this,” his eyes darted back and forth as he searched yours for any hint of doubt, even as you nodded. When he found none, he bent to kiss you. It was gentle at first, a simple touch, then a swipe of the tongue to ease you open and slip in. The mustache tickled your nose and the scruff felt exactly how you imagined, how you wanted it. You let your mouth fall open and welcomed the gentle probing of his tongue.You whimpered when he pulled away.
He considered you then, for what felt like an eternity before he placed a thumb on your lips and tugged down to your chin then slid his digit into your mouth and pressed down on your tongue to gather whatever moisture was available. You closed your lips around his thumb and rolled your eyes back up to him, sucking slowly on his thumb and daring him to pull it out.
He huffed and sneered and pulled his thumb from your lips and tilted your mouth back up to meet his lips crashing down on yours again. When he released your mouth, he licked his lips and then turned you so he could guide you out of the kitchen, down the hall, and up the stairs to his bedroom. He sat you on the edge of the bed and you stared up into his ocean-deep eyes.
“My god you are an angel, aren’t you?”
You shivered and gasped, then released your breath slowly. He smirked again.
“You like that? When I call you an angel?”
“I really do,” you whispered.
“Good. Then whenever you’re with me, alone, you are my Angel. Is that okay with you?”
“It is.”
He smiled at you then and pulled his sweater over his head leaving him bare chested in front of you. You raised a hand as if to drift your fingers through the bed of fur covering his chest and tapering down to his stomach. But he stopped you. Grabbed your wrist with one hand and tilted your chin to him with the other, holding your gaze steady and peering deep into your soul to confirm his observation. It was written all over your face. You wanted him to tell you. You wanted him to give you permission. You wanted to hear him say yes. So you asked.
“Can I touch you August?”
“Yes, Angel. You can.” He released your hand and face and you proceeded to touch him. You slid your palm up his stomach to his chest, your fingers snaking through his hair. He heaved a sigh, then placed his hand on your wrist again and pulled you up to standing. You peered into his eyes, bit your lower lip and slid your palm back down, turning your hand so your fingertips hit his waistband first, sneaking under the fabric.
“You sure you’re ready for that right now?” he asked, placing his hand on your wrist for the third time this evening. “I think you might want to rethink that.” He put your hand over the bulge in his pants so you could feel not only how hard he was already but how large. He was silently asking you if you’d ever had a lover whose cock was as big as his and you paused for only a beat.
You knew exactly how you wanted to start. “I’m a thousand percent sure,” you grinned salaciously up at him.
His nod was practically imperceptible, so determined not to let you see how your eagerness was affecting him. How would it look if he were losing all control?
You licked your lips and brought both hands to the drawstring tie, loosening it slowly, then dragging the fabric carefully over his engorged cock. You sat back on the bed as you pushed his pants down his legs, never once letting your eyes leave his.
Not until you were ready to take him in hand did you drop your eyes to drink him in. It was the most glorious sight you could imagine. Long, thick, hard. Jumping slightly as you touched the underside with your fingertips, then settling the weight into the palm of your hands. He had not been wrong at all. No other man you’d been with could compare to his size. And you had absolutely no doubt he knew exactly how to wield it.
You were hypnotized. Even if you’d wanted to look back into his eyes to ask permission before you took him into your mouth, you simply could not tear your gaze away. Your hunger evolved into something more now, and you leaned forward, tucking your tongue under the head while your lips wrapped around him.
You knew there was no way you’d be able to take his full length inside your mouth, but you wanted to try. Wanted to show him you were willing. You gathered your spit and let it glide your mouth over his cock, past the bulbous head and as far down the veiny shaft as you could manage. With a hand firmly gripped around the base, you held him in place while you moved your mouth up and down, letting your tongue drag and circle. You could do this for hours. He might have let you. But the minute you let his tip hit the back of your throat, causing a small gag reflex and a few tears to well in your eyes, he pulled you off.
“Not yet. I’ll have you undone, but not yet.”
You blinked the tears of pleasure quickly away, confused. Charlie had always loved to come in your mouth, knowing an early release would allow him to last longer with you.
“Was it not alright?” you questioned, unsure now if all those boys had been lying when they said you were the best.
“Oh, Angel. It was divine. Do you see how fucking hard I am for you? And you’ll do that again for me. I’ll insist on it. But I want to drink you in myself, first.”
He asked you to undress. You were suddenly reminded of your spur of the moment purchase and would give anything to put yourself on display in it for him. He sensed your cautious excitement, but mistook it for hesitation.
“What is it, Angel? Are you having doubts?” he asked in a gentler tone than he’d been using since you arrived in the bedroom.
“No, August. Nothing like that. I just, well…”
He furrowed his brows at you and urged you to finish your confession.
“I mean, I want this, but I really wasn’t prepared for it to happen. And it’s embarrassing to say, but I have something I’d love to put on for you. Can I do that?”
His relief shifted to a wolfish grin, as he nodded and shifted out of your way. “Please don’t take too long.” He took himself in hand and began to slowly stroke. “I don’t want to take care of this myself.”
You nodded eagerly and rose to stand before him. It took every ounce of restraint not to sprint from the room in an effort to return to him as quickly as possible, but that didn’t feel dignified. You weren’t going to start acting like a schoolgirl in front of August Walker.
Your legs carried you purposefully through the house to your room where you undressed, put your hair up, and quickly showered. After drying off, you fished the romper out of the shopping bags on your bed, tore off the tag carefully, and stepped into the silky piece. Gemma was right, it felt so very luxurious. 
A shock of cold rushed through you. How would you ever face Gemma after tonight? It wasn’t as if you’d been scheming for this to happen. But you weren’t saying no, either. You wanted this so badly. Another deep breath. You’d just have to deal with the consequences later. There was no way you were stopping now.
You searched through your luggage for your long, white crochet cardigan with the front tie. You decided to brush your teeth quickly and took a few extra minutes to dab some of your favorite perfume along your neck and wrists. A makeup touch up seemed useless at this point, but you did fix your hair.
You took a final look at yourself in the mirror and blew out the breath you found yourself holding. This was happening.
You climbed the stairs with purpose, noting the low seductive music drifting from the top floor. You smiled at the thought that August liked to use sound to get into the mood as well. You stopped at the door to his bedroom, just as he was coming out of his own en suite, clothed now in a pair of dark blue silk pajama pants that did little to hide his ongoing erection.
“Oh Angel. I thought you’d gotten lost again,” he teased. “Come. Let me look at you.” 
He reached out his hands as he moved across the room toward you. He grasped one of your hands and raised it over your head, twirling you around once slowly then dropping your arm as you came back around to face him and tracing his hand down your throat and chest, toying with the bow at the front of your sweater.
“Is this what you wanted to show me?”
You nodded, wide-eyed, hoping he really loved it as much as he seemed to.
“Well, don’t you look good for me?. It’s a pity this won’t stay on long.” He pulled on the strings and slipped a hand inside the sweater, grazing your side as he wrapped his arm around your back and pulled you close for a withering kiss. He palmed a breast with the other hand, rubbing against the hard nub straining through the soft fabric. He pressed the small of your back and moved you inches closer to him, his stiff cock jutting against you.
As he released the kiss, he pushed the sweater off your shoulders and let it drop to the floor behind you, once again taking up your hand and pulling you with him as he moved back to the bed. This time, he sat, legs spread wide so you could step between them.
“This really is very pretty,” he toyed with the thin straps of the romper, sliding a finger under the lace and brushing his knuckle against the top of your breast. “Would you like to keep it on a little longer?”
“I would.”
“Very well then.”
He pulled the straps down your shoulders a few inches tempting you with a state of full undress, then replaced them and moved his hands to your hips, smoothing them around to cup your ass and squeeze. He kept one hand on your lower back, pulling the other back around to the front before pushing a hip just off-kilter. You were now on a slight diagonal to him and that allowed him to more easily slide his hand off your hip and down into the crease of your thigh before he slipped a finger under the silk to trace along your folds.
You watched his eyes darken as he discovered the moisture already accumulated, waiting for him. You bit your lip as he turned his gaze to your eyes. 
“You are already so wet, Angel. You’re hungry for this aren’t you?”
“Yes, August. I want you.”
He kept his eyes glued to yours as he dipped two fingers inside your core and you gasped.
“And I want you to fuck yourself on my hand. Will you do that for me Angel?”
Your whole body was buzzing now. No one had ever prioritized your pleasure like this. If you’d had your mouth on a boyfriend’s cock, that’s where it was staying until he came in your mouth or pulled out and slipped inside your pussy. But giving you control of your own orgasm? Exhilarating.
His fingers were curled inside you, stroking and stretching you, smoothing along your walls and seeking out the most delicate spaces as you began to shift your hips against his hand. The heat spread through your body, you relaxed and sank your weight into his hand, your cunt swallowing his fingers deeper. You swept a hand under the curve of your tit, squeezing gently at the hardened nipple while you grabbed a hold of his wrist with your other hand. Using the leverage of his grip, you rocked back and forth into his palm, tossing your head back when he graced you with another curl of his fingers. He had found your spot and was going to exploit that fact, teasing you with a gentle press before spreading his fingers wide inside you.
“Please, August,” you begged.
“Please what Angel?” he smirked. “This is all you.”
You hauled your head back to stare down at him while you undulated your hips, searching for a way to position his fingers where you needed them again.
“Would you put another finger in? Please August?”
He smiled and obliged and you shivered with pleasure, finally beginning to feel the fullness and pressure you needed to reach your peak. If you could just…You snaked your hand around his wrist, moving so you could drag your thumb down beside his and urge it up to the top of your clit. You pressed his thumb into you, guiding his motion and pulling away only when you were sure he would continue on his own.
With his thumb brushing over your pearl, you rocked harder on his fingers, shifting his hand so he had no choice but to curl up into your spot and you held his hand firm in position when he did, praying to all the gods you knew that he would remain right there for just this moment longer.
He stood as soon as you came apart, catching you with an arm around your back as he slowly withdrew his fingers from your pulsing pussy.
“Absolutely gorgeous.” He kissed at the heat radiating from your cheeks, then sought your mouth and traced your lips with his tongue, opening you up to him and licking in deep. You moaned as you imagined him doing that again, lower.
“Yes, I know. You’ll get that too,” he declared, pulling away from the kiss. “What do you say, Angel? How do you feel about taking this off now that I’ve seen you so pretty in it?”
You smoothed your hands down your body, enjoying the sensual feel of the silk, still reeling from your orgasm. You nodded as he slipped the straps from your shoulders once more, this time pushing the elastic waistband over your hips and dropping the material to the floor.
August grabbed your ass then slid his hands to your thighs, urging you to wrap your legs around his waist as he turned to face the bed. His kiss was deep and hard as he climbed one knee and then the other onto the mattress, before easing you on your back. With your legs pinned around his waist, he ran his hands along your calves and up to the crease at the top of your thighs where he hooked his thumbs and pressed his fingertips into the flesh of your hips.
You were fully on display for him now. Nothing to stop his eyes from devouring every inch of your body, kindling the flames still licking at your skin. He eased his thumbs toward your apex, caressing your folds and massaging your slick along the edges. He let one thumb circle around your clit, pressing hard when you arched into it. He dipped the same thumb into your core, then withdrew and placed it in his mouth, licking you off his thumb like ice cream and you melted at the site of it.
You felt adored and basked in his worship, tossing your arms over your head and arching your back to press your chest out towards him. He slid his hands up your waist and over your belly to cup and knead your breasts. When he pinched, the pressure was just the other side of comfortable and you hissed with the pain. He eased up, rubbing gently for a moment before squeezing again, with the same intensity. The salacious leer on his side-cocked head sent a wave of pleasure along with the pain and you furrowed your brow and whimpered with content. Satisfied, he let you go and leaned down to kiss you again.
He unhooked your legs and directed you to the top of the bed. You eased back against the tall, plush gray velvet headboard, positioning yourself right in the middle of the California king bed.
“I’m going to eat that delicious pussy of yours now, Angel. And I don’t want you to touch me while I do. I want to try something I think you will enjoy. Will you let me?”
You furrowed your brow and nodded reluctantly, unsure what it would mean.
August climbed up to the head of the bed, knees straddling your waist as he reached behind the headboard. Your heart beat noticeably faster when you saw the thick strands of silk cord he pulled over the top. Holding them both in one hand by the plush lined leather cuffs at the ends of each, he peered down at you with a raised eyebrow.
“Have you ever been restrained, Angel?”
You swallowed the lump in your throat and shook your head slowly once, chin lowered with a shyness you hadn’t yet felt this evening. August grasped your jaw to tilt you towards him.
“Never be embarrassed, sweet thing. This isn’t for everyone. Believe me, I know.” He dropped one line and your chin at the same time, holding the second cuff in front of you and caressing the line. “You have options here. Let me explain. If you want, you could simply hold onto the rope. It’s soft and won’t burn or cut your hands when you squeeze tight. But the risk here is how easy it would be for you to drop it when you are unable to control yourself.”
You blinked with anticipation for the next option, then closed your eyes when he gave you a few more.
“You could always wrap the rope around your wrists or use the cuffs with a loose buckle as well, but still…” He unbuckled the cuff. “I think your best option, the one that will ensure you are able to enjoy every minute of my mouth on you, would be for you to let me tighten these around your wrists.”
He held the cuff wide for you and waited as you opened your eyes to give him an answer. With a wave of confidence surging through your body, you lifted your arm for him.
“Good girl.” He pulled the strap through the buckle and found the right fit with ease. Firm, not too tight, but certainly not loose at all. He tugged your arm down to demonstrate how little reach you had now and raised an eyebrow again with a last chance to beg off. You met his question with an unwavering gaze and he closed and opened his eyelids slowly with a smile before attaching a cuff to your other wrist.
You tested this one yourself with a tug and another thick swallow to calm your nerves and remind yourself you wanted this. So badly.
You could leave your arms winged back toward the headboard or bring your hands in front of your face, with elbows bent close by your side, but you’d never be able to touch him while he was tucked between your legs. As he began to retreat, you reached reflexively for him, even though you were unable to catch him as the rope went taut.
As if reading your mind, he bent then and allowed you to place your hands on either side of his face while he kissed first your brow, then your cheeks below each eye, the corners of your lips.  He finally slotted his mouth against yours and you leaned into it and kissed back hard.
You let out a soft whine when he finally pulled away, but he pressed a finger to your lips to quiet you, then held it there as he eased down your inflamed body, rotating soft kisses and sharp nips.
No high school boyfriend had ever gone down on you. And Charlie wasn’t the first in college, but he’d been the best so far. August blew him out of the water.
When he arrived at his destination, he pulled his hand down your throat and over your chest, fingertips skimming your belly and lifting away right before he reached your mound. 
He stared at first, eyes devouring the site before him. He tilted his head first one way then the other, as if trying to determine the perfect approach. He pushed your knees wide again when you began to tip them in, nervous about the scrutiny. When he finally eased closer, you closed your eyes in anticipation, but the warm wet sensation never came. You felt only his hands slipping under and around your bent legs, fingers digging into the tops of your thighs and holding you in place. You opened your eyes when you heard him inhale deeply and saw his own eyes flutter shut and open again. As he exhaled, the air drifted and teased, first warming and then cooling across your delicate skin.
He turned to nuzzle into the crook of your thigh, nipping and licking lightly on first one side and then the other. When his beard brushed your skin, you shuddered. It was an exquisite tickle, prickly and soft at once and everything you’d imagined. He pulled his arms from under you then, smoothing his hands along the insides of your thighs and pressing your knees wide and still he wouldn’t touch you where you ached for him.
“Please, August,” you pleaded, head straining toward him.
“Patience, little Angel.”
Only when you placed your head back against the headboard, did he dip low again, still nuzzling gently around the edges of your desire. You felt a brush of fingertips down your inner thigh and the back of a finger running up one side of your aching cunt and down the other. Then a finger along both sides, smoothing up then drifting down. At the bottom he captured your pussy lips between the knuckles of two fingers and squeezed, gently opening and closing and finally providing some of the friction you craved. But as soon as you tried to arch into it, he stopped and pulled his hand away.
“I know what you think you need, Angel. I’m here to tell you there’s more. We’ll get there. And I should have said something sooner. It would be better for you to hear this in a less vulnerable state, but if you want me to stop, at any time, I will. Do you understand?”
You nodded, not trusting yourself to articulate even the word yes properly, but he wanted to hear it.
“Say it.”
“I understand August,” you spoke softly, then cleared your throat and responded with more conviction. “If I want you to stop, I’ll tell you.”
He placed a hand on your belly now, heel of his palm pressing just above your clit and rocking back yet still avoiding the tender spot. Then he lifted his palm and swept his finger toward your thigh again, massaging the flesh gently between his fingers and thumb. He did the same on the other side and finally, finally, because you were being so good and laying still for him, he eased a knuckle into your slit and held it there.
And then he craned his neck closer, pulled his finger up through your folds, and let his tongue drag in the spot where his finger was. He pressed his thumb onto your clit and rubbed small circles while his tongue lapped at the slick already forming. When he pulled his mouth away, he slid his thumb down inside you, deep and then shallow as he returned to pressing at your clit.
All you wanted was to lift your hips up to meet his pressure, but you sighed out a low moan instead, trying to be good for him. As if to reward your self-control, he let the tip of his tongue meet his thumb at your sensitive nub and then pulled his hand away so he could close his mouth and suck. When he pulled his lips away, he tugged the kernel with him for a moment before letting it go, then rubbing it with his thumb again.
When his mouth met your pussy once more, it was to press his tongue wide and flat into your folds before curling the tip up and in. He repeated this a few more times, tipping deeper and deeper each time while his thumb still strummed along your button before he finally plunged the length of his tongue right into your core and just like that wrapped his lips around your clit to pull out and away.
You closed your eyes, so he couldn’t see them begging him to put his mouth back where you wanted it, but the anticipation was stoking a fire and you didn’t want to put it out just yet. You felt his fingers push up along the soaking path, tipping into the bud and then dragging back down, middle finger dipping in on the return now. He ran this finger up and down, in and out, circling, sliding, coaxing, and just when you thought you couldn’t take it anymore and you were about to break, he pressed his other hand low on your belly and held your hips in place, like he just knew you were about to shift and search for more friction.
When he could sense you would be good for him, he moved the hand from your belly to cup under your thigh before adding a second finger and rubbing them both furiously from side to side briefly, before splitting his fingers and spreading your labia wide. He dove in to kiss your lower lips, tracing the wide opening before licking in deep and you gasped your eyes open at the memory of his earlier kiss and promise.
As if on cue, any tension you’d been holding in your body at the thought of being tied up, forced to remain still, and eaten out while you couldn’t fully participate just vanished. You sank infinitesimally further into the bed, your arms dropped by fractions of millimeters, and your legs fell open even wider. 
August knew it. And he rewarded you for it. His mouth was on you in earnest now, kissing, sucking, nibbling, licking, lapping, prodding. His fingers were inside you and on you and around you. Two fingers twisted inside, pressing down and spreading you open. One tongue laved at your core, coaxing the heat and juice from you. When it came, you thought he would stop because this is when they stop and climb up your belly and slide their cocks inside you and grind into the wet wet heat, but he didn’t stop.
No he kept going. He kissed your quivering pussy and tongued along the folds, gathering up as much of your essence as he could. He spun those two fingers up now, caressing your walls and seeking out that most favorable spot. The one he already had you coming on earlier. The one he made you make yourself come on. God, what did it matter who was doing what? 
The fact of the matter was, August Walker was giving you your third orgasm of the night with nothing more than his mouth and hands and he still hadn’t let you touch him for very long with either your fingers or your mouth. And he certainly hadn’t placed in cock deep inside your aching cunt.
But what he was doing was continuing to worship at your altar. Well past the point that you could think straight. Was this now four or five? It was all a blur and all you knew was that if August didn’t stop, you might explode. Suddenly it was a problem that you couldn’t move your arms much past your shoulders. 
August was past caring about you thrashing your hips with one aftershock after another. Didn’t mind about having to hook his arms under your thighs and tug you back down the bed each time you tried to grasp the wrist cords and pull yourself off his face. He only wanted you to stop straining so he could show you how much better it could be. He wanted you to relax just like you had right before he’d really started in on you in earnest.
You felt his hand snake up your belly between your legs, creep over the swell of your breast, and rest against your collarbone. At first you resisted the weight, but then you welcomed it. Wondered if it might not be better if he just climbed his whole body right up on top of yours and crushed you into the mattress.
But he wasn’t going to do that, because instead he was going to ensure you came one more time while he scissored his fingers inside you and licked you into oblivion. When you screamed his name, he grinned a kiss against your thigh, crawled out from between your knees, and gently, ever so carefully, eased your legs together and unbent them. 
He traced his hand back up your heaving belly and chest, wrapped his fingers around your throat and tilted your neck towards him.
“So, so beautiful when you come, Angel. I wanted it to last forever for you.”
You tasted yourself on his lips and tongue and whimpered into his mouth because you suddenly realized you wanted that too and it was too late.
“Is it too late?” you whispered and he chuckled at you. 
“You should pace yourself.” He knelt beside you and unbuckled your wrists, kissing each one as he freed you from the cuffs, then dropping to his back beside you. “Thank you, for opening yourself to me.” 
“How in the world are you thanking me after that?” you laughed, still shaking from the explosions, but moving toward your next goal. “And also... Can I get back to this now?”
You began to scoot down between his legs, dragging his silky pants with you and tossing them to the floor. 
“If you’re sure you're ready.”
You trailed your fingers up his thighs as you moved back into position on your belly. He was still hard as rock when you reached for him. You licked your lips at the sight, then sent your eyes straight to his while your mouth wrapped around the tip of his cock with a smile. You worked him slow and methodically, tonguing along his length, tasting his warmth. You were salivating for this man, dribbling spit to help ease your tour of his member, and yet you knew you’d never reach the base. You let your hand twist around him, squeezing and grabbing while you worked your mouth down to meet it.  
“Your mouth feels so good on me, Angel. You like doing that, don’t you?”
You peered at him through your lashes and nodded, attempting another wide smile to agree. His hands smoothed up your arms, over your shoulders, and into your hair. You didn’t need him to hold your head against his cock, but he grunted and shifted his hips to press deeper into your mouth. You would have done this for him all night. Let him lay back and enjoy being worshiped the way he had worshiped you.
But with one hand on your nape and one right on top of your head, August helped himself to the pleasure you were offering without hesitation and began fucking your mouth in earnest. With each thrust, you felt him edge deeper until he finally found the back of your throat. 
“There you go,” he grunted. “That’s a good girl. Taking me so deep.”
You could do nothing more than open wide and let him drive, feeling the saliva drip from your mouth with no opportunity to swallow. He set a steady, punishing pace and while you were enjoying it, you also couldn’t help but imagine this must be what your aching pussy would feel like shortly. Your tears were flowing freely now, too, spurred on by the constant stimulation.
Suddenly, he pulled you off and you were confused for one brief, maddening moment until you heard him command you.
“Hands and knees.”
You pressed yourself up as he shifted to his knees as well before returning his hands to your head and dragging your mouth down his cock once again. You felt his grip on your hair at your neck tighten, his pace even faster than before. In just moments, with your watering eyes rolled up as far as they could go to watch him sneer down at you, you felt his release coat the back of your throat, hot and salty, as he came with a growl.
He hauled you up, shifting his knees forward to meet you, pressing his chest against you, arms wrapped around your back as he kissed the tears from your cheeks and praised you. He settled back against the headboard, taking you with him and scooping your legs over his, nestling your head against his chest and holding you close. You could feel his heart pounding, the intensity matched only by the speed at which yours beat. His fingers traced along your spine, caressing your shoulder and at the same time he held your hip on his lap and tortured you with tender touches along the flesh of your thighs and legs.
You trailed your fingers over his chest and angled your head to nip at his neck. 
“Was that okay?” he asked, uncharacteristically soft. You bit the urge to respond with sarcasm.
“I loved every second of it.” You punctuated your response with a kiss, cupping his cheek and tonguing his mouth open to lick into the softness.
He groaned and kissed you back for what felt like forever until you began to feel a nudge at your thigh. You reached down between your heated bodies to find him, wrapping your hands around his girth and stroking him to full erection. Without breaking the kiss you began to shift, sliding a leg to either side of his hips. Just as you had raised up, ready to slide him deep inside you, he gripped your shoulders tight and pulled away.
“Wait.”
“Why?”
Without answering, he easily lifted and deposited you on your back beside him, before rolling to the nightstand beside the bed. He pulled out a foil packet and bottle of lube.
“Because I care about you.” He tore the packet and pulled out the condom then squeezed a few drops of lube in before rolling it over his engorged length. He added a few more drops and pumped a few times, before dropping to his back again beside you.
“Now, where were we?” he grinned.
He slipped his arm underneath you and pulled you to him, guiding your leg over his hip again. On your knees, you took him in hand but before you could position his tip at your entrance, he pressed two fingers deep in your slit, massaging and stroking, scissoring you wide. You felt the heat building again and dropped your head back with a moan, still dragging your hand up and down his length. Your pussy was squelching with the juice he was coaxing and you felt his hand slip out then wrap around yours as you both directed him inside you.
With just the tip, you already felt fuller than you ever had and you sat with that feeling for a moment, hands still wrapped around the rest of his cock and keeping you from sliding all the way down.
Once you felt yourself relax around him, you nudged his hand away with your own and began to sink, slowly, deliberately, savoring the sensation. His hands gripped your hips all the while as he gazed in wonder and concern.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fucking fantastic,” you replied, rocking back slightly to view the point of his disappearance inside you.
“Do you remember what I told you before?’ he asked, a little more heat and darkness creeping into his voice.
“I can stop you at any time.”
“Yes. And if you can’t get the words out, pinch me.”
You were going to nod your understanding, but remembered he liked to hear it as much as you did. “Yes, August.”
“Good girl.”
August began a slow roll of his ups, nudging up into you and shifting you off balance for a moment. You caught yourself with your hands on his chest, then sat back up to start a slow grind of your own. For several long minutes it was just you riding him slowly, like an easy afternoon stroll, completely in sync with his movements.
When he began to pump faster, you braced your hands on his legs behind you trying to hold on for dear life. He gripped you by the hips and held you in place while bucked and then he ran his hands up your sides and hauled you down to his chest. He wrapped his arms around your back and held you so close, kissed you so hard, rocked even deeper into you than you ever thought possible and just when you thought it was about to hit you like a ton of bricks, he flipped you to your back.
He started a slower pace now, still holding you close, still ravishing your mouth. But when you wrapped a leg around his back, he lifted himself onto his arms and looked down between you then over to the leg at his side.  With a devilish grin, he reached back and under that leg, shifting it up over his shoulder. He picked up the pace, returning to the steady jackhammering you’d experienced while on top. And while you didn’t think deeper was possible, here he was, moving your limbs around to find more space. He pulled your other leg up now, no longer leaning forward, but up on his knees, holding you open before him while he pounded away.
This was more than you’d ever felt before. This was precision fucking at it finest and you were barely holding on. 
“You can let go, Angel. You can come around my cock, squeeze me hard. I won’t break,” he commended you, letting go of one leg and reaching down to massage your clit again with his thumb. That was all it took.
“Oh shit. Fuck. Fuck, August, Fuck!” 
“That’s it, Angel. I can feel you right now,” he growled. “Feel all the heat bursting inside you, feel your walls squeezing around me. Can you feel it?”
“Yes, yes, fuck yes. My god. Fuuuuuuuuuck! Fuck! Please,” you pleaded, panting and feeling like you were about to pass out. “Please.”
“Please what, Angel?”
“Please…” you didn’t exactly want him to stop but you weren’t sure how much more you could take either.
“Do you need me to stop?”
“I want you to come. Please August.”
He clenched his jaw and gave a few more hard thrusts before pulling out and flipping you one more time to your hands and knees. You could barely hold yourself up, sinking to your forearms, head into the mattress. But your ass was still in the air and your pussy was still on display for him and he took you one more time. He lined himself up again behind you, sheathed himself in one long simple stroke, holding still for one moment.
“You're still coming, I can feel it. God, you are amazing. You’re taking me so good.”
Incoherent babble is all he got in return. Even if you’d wanted him to stop, you could no longer form full words, let alone sentences. And how would you ever find the strength to reach back to even graze his skin, let alone pinch it? Whatever. You were riding a wave of the longest high you’d ever been on while August resumed his magnificent assault on you.
After a few more strokes, you felt him swell even larger than he already was, filling you up more fully than he already had. With one final animal roar, he released himself with a hand pressing against your lower back, slowing stilling as he filled the condom inside you. You shuddered with an aftershock and wanted to drop to your belly with him on top and never pull that blanket off.
After just a short moment, you felt his hand at your entrance, fingers drifting lightly through your folds before he gathered himself and the condom in hand and pulled all the way out for good. He pushed against you lightly to urge you flat. You vaguely registered words of praise coming from his mouth, but you were so spun off into oblivion you couldn’t be sure what they were.
From some far off place, you heard water running, then felt a dip beside you, and the wet warmth of a tender caress between your shaking legs. Somehow, you were maneuvered to your back to receive another gentle swipe, before you felt his lips press against your mouth, his tongue seeking your own.
It took everything you had to peel your eyes open and meet his gaze.
“Is that what you meant by passion?” he asked.
“It’s a start.”
August chuckled and gently eased himself to the side of the bed, swinging his legs off and standing. He tilted his head from side to side, loosening a few kinks before he strode with purpose into the bathroom. When he returned, he held out a blue silk robe and helped you into it once you stood from the bed. He tied the belt around your waist, then reached to the floor for his  matching pants. As he stood, he gathered you in his arms for another kiss before he took your hand and led you back downstairs.
Trailing behind him, you were pleasantly surprised to find yourself deposited on the deep plush conversation sofa. August flipped on the switch to the gas fireplace and leaned over to drop one more kiss on your lips, then told you to sit tight.
The warm glow of the fire mesmerized and hypnotized you, not that it was hard. You had been overstimulated and now the exhaustion was settling in. You felt high, completely spaced out. You had never felt so thoroughly and completely fucked in your entire short life. 
August returned a few moments later. Or was it hours? You had no idea. All you knew was that he placed a live edge wooden serving tray holding a few bottles of water, some fruit and cheese, a few small bowls of olives, almonds, and fig jam, some cut baguette, two champagne flutes, and a bottle of bubbly on the low ottoman in front of you, then eased himself onto the couch next to you.
“Let’s get you hydrated,” he leaned forward and grabbed a bottle from the tray.
“How did you know I’d want that?” you teased, harkening back to your first night home.
“You are a cheeky one, aren’t you?” August opened the bottle and pulled you close, tipping the cool, sweet water into your open mouth, eyes watching you closely to see when you’d had enough.
“Only for you,” you purred, reaching for the bottle so you could take another drink for yourself. When you pulled the bottle away from your lips, August bent to steal another kiss from you.
“A little dangerous, too.” He shifted a knuckle along your jaw, catching the soft indent in your chin to bring your face back to his. He kissed you for what felt like a millenia and you could have stayed that way all night. And then it hit you.
“Dangerous how?” you asked, when you pulled away reluctantly.
August closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, still leaning forward from the broken kiss. He sat up straighter when he exhaled and opened his eyes.
“My sweet Angel. I really didn’t mean to spoil our moment, but in a million years could you ever imagine this night could happen again?”
He held your gaze, and wouldn't let you turn away. You could see the anguish in his eyes. This wasn’t a lie. 
“But why would…?”
“You deserve to know the passion you crave. I wanted to help you learn about your desire. You are a strong, intelligent, thoughtful, and gorgeous woman. I wanted you to see you are capable of getting everything you want. You only need to be sure of it. And perhaps understand you can ask for more.”
“But I want you.”
August didn’t reply immediately and in the silence you knew he was thinking of exactly the same person you now were. If you were ever going to keep this night a secret from her, you’d have to make it a solitary event with no hope of a repeat. How were you ever going to deny your craving?
“Come here.” August set your bottle of water aside and drew you into his arms, leaning back against the sofa as you relaxed onto his chest. He kissed the top of your head and ran a hand slowly up and down your back.
“This isn’t fair,” you murmured.
“Life rarely is, Angel. Come on, let’s just enjoy the time we do have. What d’you say, hmm?”
You nodded and sniffed away the beginnings of your tears. August gently sat you up, then prepared small bites of food from the tray and brought them to your lips. You soaked in all the attention, certain you’d never feel so safe and loved again in your life.
With some energy back, you felt your mood lighten. August was right. You should make the most of what time you have left. You reached for the champagne bottle, peeled off the foil wrap, and untwisted the thin metal cage surrounding the cork. August chuckled as he watched you struggle with the cork, so you stuck out your tongue and handed the bottle to him.
“Please?” He popped the cork with ease and poured the golden liquid for you both.
“A toast?” He raised his glass to yours and watched closely as you mulled it over.
“To one night only.”
“One night only.” He smiled with a nod and watched as you took a sip, then stole a kiss before taking a drink from his own glass. He grabbed a strawberry from the tray and held it to your lips as you took a bite. “Now another drink.”
You almost squealed as the flavors exploded in your mouth. 
“When you try this on your own, be sure to get an extra-dry champagne,” August cautioned. “Moet brut won’t work with this flavor combination.”
“I’ll have to keep that in mind when I replenish my champagne cooler at school,” you teased. “What about this one?” You took another bite of strawberry and a sip of champagne, then leaned in for a kiss letting the flavors swirl in your mouth alongside his tongue. August continued the kiss, even as he set his glass aside and grabbed for yours to set it down as well.
He eased you to your back on the couch and slipped the tie loose from your robe before he finally broke the kiss.
“That’s also a good one. You’re quite the quick study.” He pushed the fabric aside, baring your chest and stomach, then appraised you for a moment before running his fingers over your breasts and down your belly, letting his mouth follow the trail.
You let out a soft moan and spread your legs involuntarily as he shifted to the floor and tugged your hips around so your ass was hanging off the sofa to give him better access. He let your legs rest over his shoulders and you sighed as he once again slipped his tongue and fingers through your folds, ravishing your core to bring another orgasm crashing over you. 
You barely had a moment to recover before you felt the belt of your robe sliding out from underneath you and in a swift heartbeat, August had you flipped over, urging you onto your knees on the cushions with your arms leaning on the back of the couch. You peered back at him, while he shifted the fabric of the robe over your back, letting it drape off to the side and leaving your bare ass and legs completely exposed to him. He watched you carefully as he rubbed a large hand over one cheek, then drew back and spanked you hard. He was already caressing the red mark before the shocked gasp left your lips. He quirked an eyebrow at you in a silent question. Again?
You pondered the feeling and decided that yes, August Walker could spank your ass. You turned your head to peer over the back of the couch and jutted your hips back towards him wordlessly asking for more, which he gladly gave. The sharp smacks were sometimes single, sometimes doubled up, but always tempered with a gentle caress before he dealt another blow.
You were dripping for him. When he dragged two fingers through your soft petals to gather the nectar, you glanced back to see him wrap his lips around his fingers and lick your taste off them. Then he reached his hand in the pockets of his pants and withdrew another foil square before dropping his pants altogether.
“You planned this,” you cried in feigned scandal.
“I hoped for it. Not the same thing,” he gently replied, rolling the condom over his swollen length. “But it’s always good to be prepared. Speaking of which…” 
August reached forward to grasp the silk belt he’d tossed aside, then drew one of your arms back behind you.
“May I have your other arm, Angel?”
You offered it without hesitation, shifting off the back of the couch so that all your weight was now on your knees. You felt him loop the belt around both wrists separately before he wrapped the tie a few more times around both. Holding the binds of your wrists in one hand, he used the other to guide his sheathed cock to your soaked pussy, gliding easily into your core. Once his hips met yours, he started a commanding pace, pumping in and out of you all the while holding you in place with your hands.
As if he could feel you losing control, unable to stay up straight any longer, August let the belt slips a few inches through his fingers before gripping tight again, giving you enough room to bend forward and rest your chest on the back of the couch while he continued to pump in and out of you with a devastating pace, the juice from you squelching around his cock.
“You fucking take me so good, Angel. Such a pretty pussy. Can you hear her talking to me? She says the sweetest things.”
He set a hand on your low back and pressed his against your stretched entrance, letting it drag along his cock as he moved back and forth and gathering some of your slick on the pad. You felt him ease his hand up, fingers pressing into the flesh of your asscheeks before he teased around your puckered rim with his thumb. When the moan escaped your mouth he knew he was on the right path and wasted no more time. He slipped his thumb right into your hole and held on while you bucked back against him.
“Fuck yeah, you like that, don’t you? Fucking my cock so good. Feels good, doesn’t it?”
“Yes. August, fuck yes.” You could barely form more words so moans of pleasure and squeals of delight were all he heard but they were enough to spur him on and lead him down the path of his own release just as soon as he felt yours.
With one practiced tug, he released you from the bind and eased himself out of your still pulsing pussy, then guided you to stand before him, pressing kisses along your shoulders and neck while he pulled the spent condom off his softening dick. He grabbed a napkin from the tray and wrapped it in a wad before spinning you to face him and kissing you hard.
“Let’s get cleaned up.”
He led you upstairs one last time, abandoning the snack platter and half-full champagne bottle. He took you through to his bathroom, turned on the warm spray jets of the tiled shower, then disrobed you completely. You stepped into the glass cabinet and turned to grab his arm to bring him with you.
Without prompting, he grabbed a bar of the same bright citrus scented soap you always found in your guest room and lathered you up. If you weren’t about to fall asleep on your feet, you’d succumb so easily to the way his fingers danced across your skin, caressing every nook and cranny like they knew the way by heart. He spun you into the water to rinse and set to cleaning himself.
And now you had your answer. It was body wash, with a woodsy, pine scent. He rubbed it all over his body with his bare hands. He watched you watching, mesmerized at the way his muscles moved and the carefree way he gathered his own package and lathered it with suds before shifting you gently out of the way and rinsing off under the cascading water. 
Yes, he leaned an arm against the wall, but that could be just because you were with him and he wanted to encase you while he kissed you, tongue probing gently and mouths moving in unison. He groaned as he pulled away.
“We’d better get some sleep.”
The fluffy towel he dried you with was heavenly against your skin. He toweled himself as well before leading you back to his bed. 
“Are you comfortable sleeping here with me tonight?” he asked. “If you’d rather wake up in your own bed, I’d understand.”
It was uncharacteristically sweet, the way August was now wondering how you would feel in the morning, knowing you could never have him again. 
“I’d like to stay with you for tonight, if that’s okay.”
“More than okay.” He pulled the covers back and slipped in, holding them up for you to join him. Wrapped in his arms, head against his chest, you found yourself drifting off faster than you would have liked. You loved pillow talk, but supposed you’d managed that with him before, during, and a little after downstairs by the fire. Besides, pillow talk was for lovers. Which you were now assured you were not.
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You woke later than you’d planned, your body still clearly recovering from the unexpected vigorous activity. August was not with you and though you knew the morning would not be a time to whisper sweet nothings, still you’d hoped to wake in his arms, just as you’d fallen asleep. The robe he’d lent you last night was draped across the foot of the bed and your lingerie was folded neatly on a chair nearby. 
You shrugged into the robe and grabbed your things, then headed downstairs where you could smell coffee already brewed but found no sign of August in the kitchen. You continued down to your room where you realized you’d left your phone all night. Shit.
When you picked it up, there were about ten messages from Gemma and you braced yourself as you opened the app to read them. Yes, in the end she wondered where the fuck you were and why you weren’t answering her but there was no urgent call to get her immediately. The night with Mike seemed like it had gone exactly as planned.
She only wanted to let you know Mike’s friends were throwing a New Year’s party and of course you were invited. Mike even had a university friend coming in from out of town for the party and Gemma wanted to set you up with him. The guy in the picture she sent looked cute enough. Apparently he sailed and had dark, wavy hair, a little shorter than Mike’s. His smile was amazing, but to your eyes, he was a boy. He would never compare, you were sure.
Just as you were contemplating how to let him down gently, your phone rang and Gemma’s number appeared. You took a deep breath and hoped nothing in your voice would betray you.
“Hey!” you answered brightly.
“Whoa, too much. Too loud. Calm down.” Gemma was hungover, for sure.
“Sorry,” you quieted. “Everything okay?”
“I think I drank a liquor store last night. Mike’s still passed out, but I need my bed. Can you come get me?”
“Now? Yeah. Of course. Let me just get my shoes on. See you in thirty?”
Gemma agreed, though she wished you’d ignore some of the speed signs along the way and you laughed, promising to grab a Vitamin Water from the fridge before you left.
You noticed another message come through just as you hung up with Gemma. August was in his office. He didn’t want you to think you’d been abandoned, but he had to get an early start for meetings and wanted to let you sleep in. You texted him you were off to get Gemma. Chat bubbles appeared and disappeared a few times before a solitary frowny face finally appeared.
With no idea how to respond and not a lot of time to spare hashing it out, you dressed quickly, grateful you’d already washed off last night’s extravagance. You grabbed the keys to Gemma’s car, grabbed a water from the gym, and headed back out to the garage.
Gemma was still too dazed to inquire much about why you were absent from your phone last night and you didn’t offer any conversation about it. The whole drive was pretty quiet except for the radio. August was gone when you got back and while Gemma couldn’t care less, you were a little let down. You’d hoped you’d be able to at least sit with him a bit while Gemma slept off the rest of her hangover, but that wasn’t to be.
He kept himself pretty scarce the rest of the week, too, texting Gemma he wouldn’t be home for dinner any of the nights until you were scheduled to head back home for Christmas Eve. Four long-suffering nights and days filled with late breakfasts by the pool and dinner and drinks in town with Mike and other friends. You barely got to say goodbye to August as he breezed off to one final meeting the morning of the 24th before Gemma came upstairs to grab coffee.
Christmas was low key with just the six of you at your parents. No other relatives were traveling in and no one else nearby had invited you over for anything special. Gemma always celebrated alone with her dad, too. Your aunt wanted to take you and your mom to the sales the day after Christmas and that was an all day, exhausting affair. You were in bed by 9.
Over the next five days, you visited with Gemma and Mike, old high school friends, and your parents a few times. But never August. Gemma said as wonderful as Christmas was with him, he was stressing about the deal and spending all his time at the office since the day after. He needed to get the deal signed by the 31st at the absolute latest. And his company’s New Year’s Eve gala was set for the Grand Hotel downtown. He’d offered you both tickets, but Gemma really wanted to hang out with Mike.
Will was nice enough, if a little on the arrogant side. He was a good kisser and you could kinda imagine what he might be able to do with that mouth placed somewhere else, but then you really thought about it and decided the missing facial hair would change the feel. Nevermind. He was at least gracious about the letdown.
The drive back to school was a little somber. You were still trying to figure out if there was any possibility of a roommate swap. Gemma offered to just put you up at her place for the semester, but you didn’t want to sleep on a couch fantasizing about her father while she was in the other room. Maybe Brigette would just spend all her time at Charlie’s, like you should have.
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A few days after the start of classes, a small package arrived for you in your mailbox. You’d grabbed it on the way to your Criminal Procedures lecture and stuck it in your backpack to open later. When you got back to your room after taking advantage of office hours to clear the theme for your research paper, you sat cross legged on your bed and opened the small, cardboard box. Inside, nestled in tiny, delicate packing peanuts, was an even smaller, embossed white paper sleeve surrounding a small, red velvety square box.
Inside was a thin, delicate gold chain, with a charm of black onyx arranged in the gold outline of an art deco wing. An angel's wing.
You searched the box for a card and finally found one buried under the packing material once you realized you’d opened the box upside down. There was a simple message to you.
'Angel. This belongs on the part of you I never got the chance to chain. Remember all you are worth and take it as you can. Yours for one night. - A’
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Taglist (if you are crossed out I can’t tag you)
Anything: @kittenofdoomage @sillyrabbit81 @kebabgirl67 @feelmyroarrrr @beck07990 @mysweetlittledesire @mollymal @summersong69  (Old times sake? @littlegreenplasticsoldier @sebbytrash @anotherwinchesterfangirl )
Holiday Angel: @angelcavill66 @lizzystuffsthings​ @plaidcat4815 @augustsprincess  @alexakeyloveloki @gofirityouguys
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starreo · 5 months
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drabbles !
(i don't know where the headers in the drabbles are from, but they're all so nice, credit to whoever made them, and if you ever find out, please let me know !!)
apathetic men.
he's your brother's best friend.
they enjoy seeing you cry.
they love how hot you look with your glasses
all you wanted was to drop off some christmas conventions, all he wanted, was you.
he's obsessed with you.
he gives you his all.
he's your boyfriend's best friend.
he's your best friend.
he just doesn't let you study.
he doesn't understand why you're dating his best friend.
he's soooo hot.
he always treats you like you're special.
you're still gonna call him sir tonight.
where does he like to cum the most?
hasn't it been past seven minutes anyway?
he's so confusing.
he's your roommate.
his best friend asks you why you're dating him.
shopping with him is crazy.
you're usually so put-together, which is why he loves when you make a mess.
you don't understand why he's dating your best friend.
he's your student's uncle, gojo satoru
he's your perverted roommate and he hates your stupid boyfriend.
jingle bell time is a swell time.
tipsy decisions weren't so bad after all, gojo satoru.
bestfriend! gojo
it's hard to fall in love with him. and it's even harder to not.
it's too fucked up.
gojo satoru is a fucking simp.
funny ideas they get while being intimate.
despite being your friend for over a year, he had never been inside of your room.
mean!bf
a guide to love, (by a homewrecker)
he was always flirting with you.
he probably doesn't even know your name.
if he could read your mind it would be really really bad.
he thinks he's so smart and cheeky.
maybe mornings weren't so bad after all, nagi seishiro.
he doesn't understand why you don't like your glasses.
he hates it when your ex-friends text you suddenly.
it feels too domestic.
you didn't ever want it to stop.
he got drunk around you a lot.
somehow he's in your room a lot.
every man gets his wish.
you had become his favourite flaw.
but he doesn't tell them...
tennis player! eren pt.2
this time there was a tiny change in your usual routine.
can they really blame him?
he's a little weird...
we never go out of style.
he'd want you regardless.
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© starreo 2023. do not copy, translate or repost .
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thefrogdalorian · 5 months
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Hello and welcome to my masterlist!
You can find most of my fics on my AO3, if you prefer to read over there, and I reblog all new fics on @thefrogdalorianfics if you want to be notified here on tumblr when I post something new!
Ongoing Works:
Modern AU!Din x F!Reader: The Best of Both Worlds
Newest Work:
The Bake Sale: When Grogu brings news of an upcoming Bake Sale hosted by the little school he attends between missions with the New Republic on Nevarro, his father enthusiastically throws himself into baking the the sweetest treats to impress his classmates. Even though Din's devotion to the task makes you feel like there is a third person in your marriage, you are charmed by his determination. While the fruits of his labour are delicious, but you discover that Din Djarin's love is the sweetest treat of them all...
Requests:
Currently open, here. No guarantees but if you have anything you'd like to see, feel free to let me know!
I write: Din x Reader, Din x Bo-Katan (but as long as it's Mando related I'm open to giving it a shot!)
I don't write: smut (on request) some ships (ask if unsure!)
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Note:
Most of my fics are for general audiences and GN!Reader
I tag my fics thoroughly, please look at the specific warnings for each fic before you read!
I do not own any of these characters (I wish I did). However, this writing is my work and I do not give permission for any part of it to be reposted without prior consent from me.
All headers/dividers are created by me, I do not give permission for them to be reused.
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The Best of Both Worlds [ongoing]
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ Mature ✯ 84k+ ✯
Modern!AU Din x Female Reader: To maintain his privacy and his son Grogu's well-being, Din Djarin agreed to the role of The Mandalorian on one condition: complete anonymity. He has never engaged with fans of the hit Star Wars show... until the day he visits a convention and crosses paths with you...
General:
Dincember 2023
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ General ✯ 54k ✯
Summary: Snapshots from your first chance-meeting with Din Djarin on your homeworld, to the life you are building together with Grogu in his cabin on Nevarro and ultimately your preparations to celebrate Life Day together for the first time, including a trip to a snowy mountain paradise.
The Bake Sale
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ General ✯ 3.8k✯
Summary: When Grogu brings news of an upcoming Bake Sale hosted by the little school he attends between missions with the New Republic on Nevarro, his father enthusiastically throws himself into baking the the sweetest treats to impress his classmates. Even though Din's devotion to the task makes you feel like there is a third person in your marriage, you are charmed by his determination. While the fruits of his labour are delicious, but you discover that Din Djarin's love is the sweetest treat of them all...
Hold You in My Arms
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ General ✯ 2k✯
Summary: Even with its outdated interior and the limitations that entails, The Razor Crest is your home. You find there is a certain charm about the old ship even if the bunk is a little uncomfortable. Though, it's even better when there is a Mandalorian to cuddle, armour and all.
Rest
✯ General ✯ 3.1k ✯
Summary: Despite how often you have pleaded with Din to stop and rest, your calls have gone unheeded. Your stubborn Mandalorian will not stop and take care of himself. So, when he arrives back from his latest job with the New Republic utterly exhausted, you take matters into your own hands and ensure he gets the rest he so desperately needs.
Sanctuary
✯ General ✯ 1.2k ✯
Summary: It's one of those days when your emotions threaten to overwhelm you. Despite the horrible day you're having, you try your best to keep it together. A feat you manage, until a certain Mandalorian arrives home and takes you into his arms.
Hold Me Close
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ General ✯ 3.4k ✯
Summary:  In the aftermath of Grogu's departure to be with his own kind, your riduur is nowhere to be found, with little indication - other than a message disk - as to his whereabouts. You anxiously await his return. Yet the man who eventually comes back to you is a broken, shadow of the man you fell in love with.
Always
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ General ✯ 1.5k ✯
Summary: You wake up from an incredibly distressing nightmare in which Din and Grogu had suddenly vanished from your life without a trace. Fortunately, Din is there to console you with his comforting embrace and soothing words. He leaves you feeling optimistic about the future, rather than dreading what lies ahead for the pair of you.
Such a Heavenly View
✯ General ✯ 2.3k ✯
Summary: For the past few months you've been babysitting the child of a mysterious Mandalorian who lives on Nevarro. One day, to your surprise, he wants to spend the day with you and hike to the top of a volcano. After an unfortunate mishap on the way, you discover that the man beneath the armour is surprisingly gentle and sentimental...
All The Nice Things In Life
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ General ✯ 2.5k ✯
Summary: During a weekly trip to your favourite Market on Nevarro, you get a little overwhelmed by all the crowds and noise. Fortunately, you have an exceptionally caring and attentive Mandalorian for a partner, who manages to calm you down and make you see that you are not a burden to him, despite your worries.
Even Your Worst Days
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ General ✯ 4.3k ✯
Summary: After returning from a recent job with the New Republic, Din finds you feeling overwhelmed and burnt out due to his absence. Din had not realised how much you were struggling and when he realises how upset you are he moves to reassure you, lifting your spirit and boosting your confidence in the way that only he is capable of. You realise that Din loves you unconditionally... even on your worst days.
From Now Until The End
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ General ✯ 5.4k ✯
Summary: After being away from you as part of his job with the New Republic, your partner Din surprises you with a trip to the Boonta Eve Classic on Tatooine to make up for it. But instead of the fun-filled day he had planned, you are overwhelmed by the many sights, sounds and noises. It leads you to finally share a part of yourself with Din that you had been hiding from him until now.
Teen:
Nowhere Else To Run
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ Teen ✯ 3.4k ✯
Summary: Despite the fact that sharing a cabin with you and Grogu on Nevarro has given him the peaceful life he was searching for, Din cannot escape the nightmares of his past which haunt him most nights. Although he feels unworthy of your love, the only time things make sense is when you take him in your arms and dutifully put his pieces back together. Even on nights when he feels he does not deserve it.
Ner Aliit
✯ Read on AO3✯ Teen ✯ 5k✯
Summary: Travelling through the galaxy in the Razor Crest with a formidable Mandalorian is a harsh, unforgiving life. The feelings you have developed for him as you soar through the stars together have mitigated the unpleasant aspects. Still, you know it can't last. After all, you and Din are from different worlds. He follows a strict Creed and you know that you do not have what it takes to be Mandalorian. Journeying with the best bounty hunter in the parsec has often brought you face to face with danger. It has never fazed you before. Until one day you come face to face with danger without Din's reassuring presence at your side, and everything changes.
A Crisis of Faith
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ Teen ✯ 6k ✯
Summary: Although travelling through the galaxy with a Mandalorian bounty hunter was a daunting prospect at first, you were pleasantly surprised by how swiftly the two of you bonded. However, despite your initial closeness, the man who you were thought enjoyed your presence in his life now seems disgusted by his every encounter with you. When you finally land on Nevarro after weeks of being confined to the Razor Crest together, you hope that perhaps, something might fix your fractured relationship...
A New Dawn
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ Teen ✯ 5.1k ✯
Summary: Travelling through the galaxy with a mysterious nameless and faceless Mandalorian with a reputation as the best bounty hunter in the parsec would probably terrify most people. Instead, over the months you have known Mando, you have discovered his gentler, more affectionate side. Living in such proximity to the man you have an enormous crush on threatens to suffocate you as you determine that he must never find out. But after a job seemingly goes badly wrong on a forest planet, the fear of losing him will perhaps finally be the tipping point for a new dawn in your relationship...
Pieces
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ Teen ✯ 3k ✯
Summary: Your worst fears are almost realised when Din returns from his latest job with the New Republic injured and distressed. Despite your emotions, you diligently tend to his wounds and put his pieces back together.
Mature:
Across The Stars
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ Mature 18+ ✯ 5.8k ✯
Summary:  Your riduur, Din Djarin, whisks you away to Naboo to enjoy the Festival of Love celebrations on the bountiful planet. While there, you reflect on just how much the formidable man, who chose you to be his, truly means to you.
Explicit:
The Arrangement
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ 18+ MDNI ✯ 7.1k ✯
Summary: You entered into an arrangement with Mando find some physical relief from the monotony of hyperspace as you travel through the galaxy together as a formidable team of bounty hunters. When you did so, there were three clear rules: that it would not impact your professional relationship, that there were no strings attached and most importantly of all: that Mando would never, ever remove his helmet. When you carelessly let your emotions get the better of you and undermine those rules, you fear you have lost the man who means everything to you and discover that you miss much more than merely the physical encounters…
Din Djarin Headcanons/Imagines
Din Djarin + Falling In Love
Flowers for My Mandalorian (Valentine's Day imagines)
Booping Din Djarin
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Only The Father You'll Be
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ General ✯ 1.7k ✯
Summary: As he sits on the porch of his new cabin, looking on proudly as Grogu entertains himself with frogs outside their new home on Nevarro, the moment awakens old memories in Din Djarin. He reflects back to a moment when he watched The Child playing with other children in the idyllic village on Sorgan. Back then, Din wanted something very different for him and The Child… it was an occasion when their fates could so easily have diverged from their destiny. But now Din has the one thing that had always eluded him, that he never imagined for himself: a family.
Welcome Home, Son
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ Teen ✯ 4.1k ✯
Summary: Din Djarin finds himself back on a mysterious planet that is strangely familiar to him, despite the years that have passed since he last stepped foot on it. A visit to the cabin he once shared with his family brings Din face-to-face with someone he never imagined he would again encounter for the rest of his days. Content Warnings: Grief, PTSD, survivor's guilt, grieving for parents.
Soon, I Will Be Back With You
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ Teen ✯ 1.2k ✯
Summary: Centuries after the last time he saw his buir, Grogu reflects on memories of the life they shared together until it ended in devastating circumstances. MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH.
You Are Eternal
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ Teen ✯ 1.4k ✯
Summary: When devastating news that High Magistrate Karga has become one with the Force reaches Din in his cabin on Nevarro, he reflects on the complicated nature of their relationship. Din pays his own tribute to the man who witnessed firsthand his shift from bounty hunter to father. MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH.
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Some of these fics are explicit so no minors, please.
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Carry Your Throne
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ Explicit ✯ 182k ✯
Summary: Set one year post-Mando season 3. Mand'alor Bo-Katan Kryze is struggling to contend with the pressure of living up to the Kryze name and her dark past, while also bearing the responsibility of leading her planet and overseeing its continued stability. Plagued with feelings of guilt and unworthiness - and a suspicion that not everyone supports her claim to the throne - she is haunted by nightmares as she relives her past mistakes. Those around her are concerned for her wellbeing, including Bo-Katan's loyal friend and advisor, Koska Reeves. News of Din Djarin and Grogu's return to Mandalore sets off a chain of events that will change both the course of Bo-Katan's reign and possibly her life, too.
With Every Atom of His Being
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ General ✯ 1.6k ✯
Summary: Din Djarin's increasing closeness to Bo-Katan Kryze causes an accidental slip of his tongue during a picnic the two share with Grogu during one of Bo-Katan's visits to Nevarro. Din's choice of language has profound consequences, not just for the two of them but also the child they love so much.
Written In The Stars
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ Mature✯ 11k ✯
Summary: Din Djarin hoped that by pledging to serve Bo-Katan Kryze until her song was written, he had clued her into the depths of his feelings for her. As the months pass after Din left to train his new apprentice with still no word from the Mand'alor, he begins to accept that his feelings are unrequited. Din wishes he could stop dwelling on his feelings, but at night visions of red hair and shimmering green eyes haunt him. His aversion to returning to Mandalore continues until one day, his son takes matters into his own tiny hands and forces Din to confront his fears...
To Being Together Again
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ Mature✯ 10k ✯
Summary: When Din Djarin returns to his cabin on Nevarro after some time away he finds something he would never have expected, that will change his life forever. It seems that the woman he pledged to serve until her song was written has finally acknowledged her feelings and found her way back home to him. He can't even be too angry that it cost him a bottle of expensive wine. Or: Peli Motto and Bo-Katan Kryze get wine drunk and overshare... fluff and smut ensues.
The Worm Conundrum
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ General✯ 2k ✯
Summary: When Mand'alor Bo-Katan Kryze hears about a recent conversation Koska Reeves had with her new girlfriend one night, instead of finding its premise cringeworthy, she instead finds that the ridiculous question will not leave her mind no matter how hard she tries. There is just one thought, turning in her mind, over and over...: Would Din Djarin still love her if she was a worm?
Red Hair, White Cake and Nite Owl Blue
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ General✯ 27k ✯
Summary: After retaking Mandalore, Din Djarin abruptly leaves the Mandalorian homeworld with his new apprentice and throws himself into his work with the New Republic in order to avoid dwelling on the nature of his relationship to Bo-Katan Kryze. But a job several months after Mandalore was retaken changes everything for him. When Din is sent to Plazir-15 to track down an old troublemaker, his return to the planet brings back fond memories of time spent with Bo-Katan and causes Din to reflect on his lingering feelings for the woman who he once shared such a special bond with. But before he has a chance to act, a surprise feast thrown in honour of Bo-Katan's recently-announced engagement destroys not only Din's heart but an extravagant white cake too. Has Din left it too late to claim the heart of the red-haired woman he loves? Or will the Mandalorian foundling and the Nite Owl finally find their way to each other?
A New Year on Mandalore
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ General ✯ 2.2k ✯
Summary: It's almost the start of a new year on Mandalore and Bo-Katan Kryze is feeling the absence of a certain Mandalorian, despite the elaborate celebrations that have been planned. The Mand'alor is feeling lonely... until Koska Reeves brings news that a familiar starship has landed at the spaceport.
Dinbo Week 2024
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ Teen ✯ 14k ✯
At The Water's Edge ✯ Teen ✯ 4k ✯
Take My Whole Life, Too ✯ Teen ✯ 2.7k ✯
A More Noble Calling ✯ Teen ✯ 2.4k✯
A Sense Of Belonging ✯ Teen ✯ 3k ✯
The Meiloorun Fiasco ✯ General ✯ 2.5k ✯
Dinbo Drabbles
✯ Read on AO3 ✯ General ✯ 0.4k ✯
Summary: Series of drabbles based on specfic episodes from Season three.
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Hello again!
Thanks so much if you made it this far, happy reading! I really hope you find enjoyment somewhere in something I've written.
I would love to know if you did, you can always come and chat to me about anything I've written, I would love to know your thoughts!
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vagabond-umlaut · 2 months
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meet you where the sky meets the earth
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to love is to listen to your heart, not your brain. to dream whilst in love, is to make your brain listen to your heart.
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▸ gojo satoru x fem!reader; former teacher x former student [gojo is six yrs older than reader]; bittersweet fluff; you're so in love w satoru, it shd hurt- but it doesn't because you've grown numb to the ache; one-sided feelings [are they really?]; few mentions of food; gojo calls you 'cookie'; this is way too tender even for me, istg; 1.5k wc
▸ belongs to the series 'you make my heart flutter and fibrillate' but can be read as a stand-alone fic if you wanna! 😊
▸ the header is from pinterest, the dividers are by @benkeibear, the characters used here aren't mine. pls don't plagiarise, translate or repost this. hope y'all enjoy reading this ❤️❤️
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the first time you think of marrying gojo, you're only twenty years old.
hardly the age to be dreaming of wedding bells at, right?
yeah, right. that's very, very right— still, your heart is your heart, just how your brain is your brain, the former easily swaying the latter by a few skipped beats— and you find your cheeks growing warm, laughs stumbling past your lips as you place the box of cornflakes into your shopping cart.
gojo sputters from beside you, eyes comically wide behind his shades as they dart from you to the elderly woman before.
you take a second to compose yourself before answering the ask that created this mess in the first place, a polite smile lining your face, "oh, no– not at all, ma'am! we're not married. i'm just an old friend helping him with the groceries, haha."
"oh," that's the only thing the woman says in reaction, kind smile now a tiny frown before it reappears. and she apologises, "i'm sorry, dears. just thought you two to be newlyweds from how giddy and loving you seemed to each other... time i went for an eye check-up, yes?"
"hey, please don't be sorry..." you start to say, but before you can get any further, the woman has already walked away with her shoppping basket.
you fall silent.
the same way the man next to you too has grown quiet, an awkward silence taking up the foot between you both. until you break it with a strained chuckle.
"we were acting giddy and loving to each other, eh?"
"were we?" comes the contemplative question to your comment. you look up to find gojo looking at you, the blue of his eyes weirdly bright in the dim lights of the supermarket as he repeats, "were we, cookie?"
yes. no. you don't really know—
yes, 'cause you know you love him.
not since forever, no, but close enough to it: your once-fascination for the supposed mortal deity of the jujutsu world, the mitochondrion on which the cellular structure of the society banks to survive; that grew into something made of wonder, respect and fondness, as you slowly came to know not only the icon but also the man behind it; that grew into something so profound, nestling deep within your existence– so much so that you feel the earth shifting on its axis everytime he calls you or grins at you or just looks in your direction—
no, 'cause you know you aren't loved back.
not the way you wish to be... not that you blame gojo for that, though!
you know he is way too busy to be thinking of such topics– what with being the strongest sorcerer ever, the head of the one-man gojo clan, the teacher to the first-years at tokyo high, the legal guardian– but in fact, the father figure to the two kids, 'gumi and 'miki– or maybe, just maybe, he is busy, alright, but not too busy— gojo simply doesn't see you that way; he sees you to be nothing but his former student— one he knows he can rely on to help with his children, or the groceries, or a variety of other menial daily tasks he can just hire help for—
you don't know.
yeah... you really, really don't know– and by now, you think you don't even want to know anymore. it's easy, it's safe, it's nice to remain not knowing. the word 'yes' comes with too many dreams– the word 'no' serves the perfect haven to nightmares.
the three words "i don't know" bear no such burden on their back– an untroubled answer you decide to offer, decide to escape using for the time being— until a slight knock on the head interrupts you, followed by an entertained set of chortles.
you peer up to find gojo beaming down at you, his eyes crinkled and cheeks dimpled. something twists in the middle of your chest, but it isn't painful; it's grounding. pleasant, even.
"it's too easy to get you worried, y'know? you're unbelievably easy to manipulate, heh."
"oh, am i now?" you retort, eyes narrowing into a cross glare– only to be betrayed by the fond smile grazing your lips not even a beat later. the man hums, grin simmering down to a knowing smile.
"mmhm," he says with that musical sway to his tone that never fails to make your fingers tingle, "you should have seen your face when i asked you the question– so pale and stiff– almost as if i was asking you to leave then and there, hearing that granny's comments—"
"you would have asked me to, if they were true– wouldn't you?"
gojo's smile vanishes in the blink of an eye. and you think the hand he has stretched out to the shelves of biscuits might fall too– but it does not, and you see him take a packet of your favourite bourbon biscuits followed by a packet of the digestives you've been forcing him to eat, and place them into the cart.
he checks the shopping list in your hand before he looks back at you.
before he smiles back at you: so soft, so solemn, so un-satoru— you instantly regret interrupting him with such a question.
but you do know how it is, don't you? what with a thudding heart and a thinking brain...
the handle of the cart digs deep indents into your palm as you press the weight of your worries into the cool metal and lean towards your companion on this grocery run, the same way a moth flies towards a flame, towards its doom–
"don't you ever dream of falling in love, gojo-san?" you let your voice drop to a murmur, audible only to you and the object of your desires, the subject of your worries, "do you not dream of a happily ever after with your 'one'– do you, gojo-san?"
"no," the response to your words comes in the very same instant. the man's shades slip a touch down the bridge of his nose as he pins his sharp gaze on you– though it can do nothing to hide the mild tremor in his grin from you when he says, "and i don't plan on dreaming ever. dreaming is only for fools with too much time to spare– do i look like a fool with too much time to spare, cookie?"
no. not at all. you don't. you look the farthest from it, in fact— is what you know you should say, and just drop the matter. for now. forever—
but you don't... just don't.
retorting instead, still a murmur but with the faint lick of a fire now, "and what do you suggest should be done to those fools, gojo-san? punished severely for their grievous crime of dreaming, hm?"
"oh, don't be too harsh," he tuts with a breezy chuckle, "what people do is honestly their business; one i've got no interest in interfering in— but..." his grin twists into something wry, a change you find tough to tear your gaze away from, "i don't think i would give such folks the time of my day– it's simply not worth it to talk with those whose feet are not on the solid ground, floating around meaninglessly in air–"
"why are you talking with me then?"
interrupted, gojo blinks. once, and twice, then thrice.
you watch your face crumple in the dark tint of his shades, withering and cracking in the dull light and stale air of this stupid supermarket; but definitely not as stupid as you:
messing things up when they're perfectly fine and alright, only 'cause you do not, rather cannot, keep your mouth shut, no matter what– all your inhibitions let gone of as your heart gains control over your brain and your stupid damned mouth—
you feel a tiny knock on your forehead, the second time this evening, followed by strands of hair being gently brushed away; too careful for your breath to not get stuck in your chest. you peer up at the man in front, teeth lightly gnawing the inside of your lower lip.
gojo's features shift into something between fond and worried– you just hope you aren't misreading him right now– the man tucks those strands of hair behind the shell of your ear.
his fingers still right above your jaw, touching yet not really touching, features finally, finally, settling into a smile– "maybe because i enjoy talking with you, cookie, no matter how foolish you are."
some people say, marriage is a holy act, a sacred institution, in and of itself— connecting hearts, binding souls– cementing the promises of staying together forever... whilst few see marriage to be meaningless— paltry affair of papers and signatures and people, none bearing any significance, 'cause nothing can, not when it comes to the matters of the hearts, neither in proving nor in disproving them–
no matter what people think, you think you will be okay, irrespective of whether you marry gojo or not, irrespective of whether gojo loves you or not– provided– and this is a weird, still important 'provided'—
you and he end up shopping together in the supermarket, feeling and seeming so happy and comfortable with each other— others mistake you for a pair of newlyweds, blissfully deep in love.
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tysm to my dearest andy [@andysdrafts], mimi [@avatarofstars] & dilay [@roseqzpd] for constantly motivating me while i was writing this. ilysm my darlings 😘😘😘
masterlist
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