#ALSO MY BROTHER WROTE ON THE SKETCH TO COLOR IT AND I SWEAR I WAS NOT PUTTING MHSELD THROIGH THAT PAIN NO MATTER HOW MUCH I LOBED THAT PIEC | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dreaminpeaches · 3 years

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“Ladies, Gentlemen, Enbies...HER--I mean Him? Or them?-- whatever, anyways here's the first part of my daydream paracosm, Humble Pie. I was really happy I was able to come up with the first part in a somewhat cohort manner. Part 2 is also going to follow this sometime soon, but after that its probably just gonna be short shorts, text exchanges, and or drabbles, but that first part’s finally a thing! And that’s cool”

“Also just reminder that this paracosm is set in a mix timeline, like people have flip phones, cassette tapes, but still also have stuff like gamer chairs, and slang like sus/lit exist, so I hope that doesn’t bother you..oof”

“Also I wrote this from my Remarkable, then convert it to text, and did some proof reading, but my handwriting is still can only be read by chickens and my dyslexia ninja has sneak 100 accuracy so..yeah

Word count: 6,115

TW: mention of Bullying, DeadBeat dad, Smoking, Drinking, Swearing (only for comedy’s sake tho’), Dissociation, Guilt (but don’t worry there’s still A LOT of fluff in this piece, tho)

Link to Alternate version on my off-site daydream blog: Humble pie part 1

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"Okay, here we go" Beau said, taking one last drag of his cigarette, and taking in one last look at the panoramic view of the town below, Newbury, his hometown, he was away for a year because of college which he dropped out of. Well, "dropout" made it seemed like he had a choice, more like he flunked out, there were' 'reasons that 'made college impossible for Beau, reasons that he couldn't get into or more like reasons he didn't want to get into, these were the some reasons that turned what was suppose to be a 5 hour drive into an 8 hour one, making him stop ever so often to the nearest park, overlook, or clearing to get out, smoke and or take a short walk. These stops were so frequent by the time he reached his hometown’s overlook he was on his last stick, hard to believe he started the trip w/ a full box.

He dropped the last of the remains of the cig on the ground and stomped out the glow ember with his dark brown rounded toed boot, watching the embers glow go out made him feel similar in a way.

Beau took one more last look at the small town below blanketed by the dark, light sky. He looked around. the overlook, bring back memories of. late night make outs, sneak outs and general teenaged shenanigans.

Beau remembers once on a night he was really buzzed, a rare event for him, drinking with his buddies, rather it was the buzz from the beer, or he was just 'riding the 'high off scoring the winning goal for the team, or general teen hormones. He felt invincible, so invincible he stood up on the ledge and proclaimed himself as king of the world

A moment Beau looks back at and shakes his head as if to try to erase the memory from his mind like an etch n’ sketch, suddenly he got a bad taste in his mouth or maybe that's just the cigarettes "King of world….yeah, right" Beau said pulling up the collar of his jacket and shrugging his hands into his pockets, and headed back into the car.

It was getting late and there was no use in stalling any longer, might as well continue to the inevitable. Stalling may be that’s the feeling that's been following him the whole time, stalling the fact that he would have to return to his hometown a failure after being touted and praised for being a star athlete , and getting into a ivy league school, a feat his mom was really proud since she herself couldn't go to college because of having Beau at such a young age, and having to deal with a bunch of other “BS” as Beau would put it.

Beau really wanted to make her proud by becoming a famous football player and make tons of money so she wouldn't ever have to worry about bills n 'stuff and live in the malibu dream house she dreamed of living in since she was a kid, a dream she would talk about to her children like it was fairytale during when time got real tough.Even though she sounded upbeat over the phone about the news, Beau knew his mom was an expert when it came to masking her disappointment and skill that was pretty integral with dealing Beau's birth father. He just hopes she's not too disappointed

As the twilight sky grew more dark the street lights flickered on. Familiar and nostalgic landmarks and structures rolled by as Beau drove by with one hand gripping the wheel while the other hand hung casually out of the rolled down window. the nighttime breeze gentle, tossing his cart dirty blond hair mullet. The 'murmur of punk music lighty playing from the car's speaker, that was playing louder earlier but the volume's quickly depleted because blasting punk 'music at night in a small town is pretty serious offensive a risk, a younger Beau would play around with, but now being older he knows better.

Driving into his old neighborhood, seemingly not much has changed, but what do you expect from a small town? The old neighborhood consisted of typical signatures of most middle upper class .. neighborhoods, Christmas ' decorations long over due to be taken down, manicured lawns, next to slightly less manicured lawns. Some lawns adored w/ gnomes and flamingos, a step up from the lawns of homes in his childhood neighborhood whose homes had what one could consider a lawn but just barely, Beau and his brother were lucky enough to have a sizable back yard and a tree house.

His family's lawn had a bunch of outdoor toys laid about on their lawn: a nerf gun, a pink tricycle, a tiled dyed color bouncy ball and an empty container of mega bubble wand. Beau drove up in the driveway being careful to not accidentally run over any of the toys in the yard.

He eject the mixtape from the player and put it into his jacket chest pocket. Beau leaned over and rummaged through the glove compartment fishing out a small travel can of axe's body spray and another small spray can of mouthwash, he used both to cover the scent of cigarette smoke, a smell his mother was highly sensitive to. He popped in a stick of spearmint for extra measure before getting out of the car and going to the trunk to retrieve his suitcase. Beau only had one suitcase since all the stuff really needed and cared about conveniently fitted in one suitcase.

Beau propped up his suitcase as he closed the trunk, the car beeped and blinked as he pressed the lock button. He headed up the pathway to the front door, his heart beating louder and louder with each step leading up to the front door.

Beau took a deep breath, Pulling himself together. "Okay" He said under his breath as his hand slowly reach for the knob but before he could even get a good grip, the door swung open, Beau's eyes raced up to see the thinning hair of a middle aged man, Beau eyes lowered a bit more to see the mustached clad face of the man the hair belonged to. "Hey, Big Boss! '' the mustache man said with a grin. The man was Beau's stepfather, David.

"Hello, David, I-I mean Dad." Beau awkwardly greeted his stepdad, trying his best not to show discomfort at his step dad's “nickname" for him.

"Ha, ha that's okay, son!”David laughed, giving Beau a hefty pat on the back.

"Here, let me get your bags." David said, reaching for Beau's suitcase, looking behind Beau expecting more bags

“You only brought one bag?" he questioned, looking curiously.

'--I like to be efficient" Beau muttered with a shrug and a side glance. "HAHA you and me both, Big B" David chuckled playful elbowing Beau, who gave a half-smile and a small chuckle--well, more like a slight nose huff

"Hey, honey Big B is home!" David shouted as Beau closed the front door.

His mother came rushing from the bedroom in her rose pink robe w/a barbie in insignia on the front with matching fuzzy slippers, her sandy blond hair still damp from the shower.

"My little boy, oh!" she said, warping Beau in a tight motherly embrace. "Welcome home!" Beau's mother pulled back for a second, cupping her son's face in her hands “you’re still so handsome"

"Wait..." Beau gently removed his mom's hands from his face "Are you okay, mom?" He asked his considerate brown eyes searching his mother's teal eyes for any sign of distress.

"Of course, sweetie," his mom beamed. "I have all of my loved ones under one roof. What's more to ask?"

it's just that I didn't- Y-you know." Beau said with downcast eyes

"Oh, that" his mom said wide eyes and then shaking her head in dismissed

"Don't worry about not finishing college, I mean just look at me"

“But You just seemed so proud that I got in, I just didn't want to let you down"

“Sweetie, it's fine," his mom said, gently guiding his head up with her hand to look at him "I was not proud that-You were becoming the smart, sweet kind young man, I always knew you were, but now. I'm just happy that you’re here and I get to see you go. on the journey myself!" Beau chuckled tightly and blushed at his mom's admiration.

"Plus, Your mom's not the only one who is happy to have You home!” David said, gesturing towards the hallway. Beau looked to see a small figure peeking from the corner, the figure quickly disappeared followed by an overflow of giggles.

A smile slowly creeped across Beau's face, he slowly kneeled down. " "Gasp * Is that my little care bear?"

From the shadows totted out, a little girl dressed in a blue care bear patterned nightgown, her blonde hair tied up in pigtails, she grasped a love-a-lot bear in one arm while her other arm was open as she raced towards Beau, also with arms wide open for a hug "Bo-Bo"

"Hey, care bear!" Beau cooed as he picked up his little sister "Wow, You've gotten so big since the last time I saw you!

"Carrie's been asking when you were coming since you told us you were coming home "David stated

"Really?"

"Yep!'' Carrie nodded proudly "You still have the love-a lot bear I won at grad night". Beau vividly remembers winning Love A Lot and his friends making fun of him, but Carrie really appreciated it more than he thought.

"Yeah, she takes it with her everywhere!" mom emphasized “Thank god, the kindergarten has a security blanket policy!

"Aww..." Beau said fondly looking at Carrie, who had her head resting on his shoulder, still grasping love a lot.

Beau thought for a moment and looked around "wait, where Dev?"

"Oh" mom said putting her hand on her head with a semi sigh "He's been going through... things"

"Teenager things: David specified "He's the big one three now.. "

“Don't worry, I can talk to him!”Beau said, confidently, slowly nodding his head

. Carrie lets out a small yawn "Aw, you sleepy, care bear?" Beau asked as Carrie rubbed her eyes

"It's past her bedtime, but she really wanted to see you," Mom said, stroking Carrie's hair. "Is someone ready for the sleep shuttle'?" Beau asked Carrie, looking at her in her sleepy hazel eyes, she nodded in response

"Alright, Here we go!" Beau held Carrie in both hands placing his arms out in front of him, he kneeled down and started counting down. "3…..2...1. Blast off!"

Beau shot Carrie in the as he stood back up. As he moved towards Carrie's bedroom, he moved all around side to side, up and down while making spaceship sounds, Carrie was giggling all the way through.

"Incoming! "Beau shouted as he swooshed Carrie round a few more times before landing her swiftly on the bed.

"Huston, the eagle. has landed!." Beau said, holding his ear as if he had an earpiece "Not eagle! Bear!" Carrie stated holding up her care bear "correction, the "BEAR" has landed!" Beau correcting himself, bringing a huge smile to her face as she nuzzled her care bear

"Okay, night, right, care bear" Beau said patting carries head

"Wait!" Carrie said holding on to her brother's arm "Is Bo-Bo still gonna be here in the Morning?""Of course, I'm not going anywhere at least for a while.." "Beau said, kneeling down to Carrie's eye level.

"Okay, I like having Bo-Bo around:'' Carrie said "and I like being around" Beau said, "see you in the morning, care bear" Beau gives Carrie a good night kiss on the forehead.

She settles into bed as Beau closes the door. Beau grinned to himself, feeling lucky to have such a cute sister. He remembers when Devin was that little, speaking of Dev. Beau apphoraced Dev's bedroom door. The door was caution tape, Don't enter signs, with a please knock before entering sign.

At first Beau did think about knocking but then thought "I could be a respectful older brother respect the sign or I could have fun and be a little shit. He pondered about it for a minute then-"yeah, I'm gonna be a little shit.”

Beau took a card out his wallet and wedged it in between the door to jimmied the lock. He peeked through the door to see Dev playing a video game on the tv. "you little..." Beau said under his breath, before bombastically opening the door "Hey there, squirt!" Beau said, shoving the door open

"Didn't you read the sign?!" Dev said as he turned around in his gamer chair in both shock-and annoyance

"Wow, that's a pretty warm welcome to give your older brother you haven't seen in a year!" Beau snarked, pretending to look hurt'' "Nice to see you too!"

"Oh my god!" Dev said, rolling his eyes and turning his chair back to tv, bringing his attention back to the game.

"and here I thought you were working on a project or homework or some school shit!" Beau continued "but no, you're just sitting here playing one of your little nerd games"

"Oh my god, can't you just leave!" Dev groaned as he hunching closer to the tv.

"You couldn't at least say "Hi" " Beau said now standing right behind Dev gamer chair

Dev raised and waved his hand half-heartedly and flatly said "hi"

"Well, damn I feel loved," Beau said sarcastically. "aren't you at least gonna look at me?" shaking the gaming chair a bit to gain an ounce of his little brother’s attention.

“ I saw you "Kool aid man" into my room. Is that enough?" Dev said still focusing on the game Beau sighed, then got an idea "Dev! Dev! I think there's something wrong with my heart I think I gonna-ugh!" He said staggering forward a bit before falling in Dev's lap, knocking out the game controller out of Dev's hands.

"Come on! I was in the middle of battle!" Dev whined looking at his brother playing dead

"Get off of me!" Dev go armed as he tried to push beau off with no luck

"Come on, Beau!" He gored in frustration “I know you're not dead! I can still feel your heartbeat..."

Get up!" Beau remained still, Dev rolled his eyes; he knew the exact words to get his brother off his back or in this case lap.

"Big brother, can you please get off of me n Dev utter begrudgingly "Aw, you haven't call me ‘Big brother’ in years" Beau chimed with a smile, finally getting up "I'm still kind of hurt, that you cared about your gaming progress than the well being for your one and only big brother"

"You were still breathing, I could literally see you inhaling and exhaling." Dev clarified rubbing his forehead

"Touche, I guess" Beau said he then directed Dev's chair in front his bed," now that I have your attention"

"Okay, I guess I should say sorry since you couldn't and say "hi" to me because you were too busy saving some elf princess, or some anime chick with huge melons"

"I-H-Hey I don't even play those types of games!" Dev argued blushing

" .-sure you "don't'." Beau taunted with a wink, Dev goanned "Anyways, Anyways you don't have to say "hi",; but you could at least not talk to me"

Beau suggested, shrugging. "I guess" Dev mumbled kind of sinking into his chair "cool, so how's life?" Beau started, trying to start a diagoul "okay"

"How's school?"

"Okay"

"How’re your friends?"

"Okay"

"Got a girlfriend?"'

"NO”

"Got a boyfriend?"

N-NO"

"Got any crushes"

“….NO…..."

"joined any clubs or any other after school junk?"

" ..... NO..."

"Are you just gonna answer all my questions in one word?"

Dev fell quiet, and shifted his gaze from his brother

“Okay, that's it!" Beau huffed, he picked up Dev and hoasted him over his shoulder "Hey! put me down!" Dev-shouted , beating his fists on Beau's back "Not until you talk to me like an actual person, and one worded answers aren't gonna cut it, squirt!"

"MOM! Dad!"

"Mom and Dav-Dad are fast asleep, and you know they both sleep like rocks!" Beau stated'' the only person you'll wake up is Carrie, and You don't want to wake little care bear, now do YOU?"

Dev fell Quiet again, "You know I can hold you like this for hours, you aren't really that heavy, or you can just end this and talk to me" Beau suggested ending the suggestion with a sigh and started to stomp his foot impatiently..

Dev continued the silent treatment for a bit until letting out a meek "Okay...I'll try" .

Hey, three words, that's a start!" Beau cheekly commented,He sat Dev back down in his green gamer chair.

"Okay, do over!" Beau said casually sitting across from Dev and his bed. "so, how's school going?" "F-fine” Beau gave Dev a intense look, reminding Dev of his word count “N-no, I mean it's just weird" Dev stuttered choosing his words carefully, Dev fiddled with his hoodie sleeves.

"and it's weird because..." Beau initiated, gesturing his hand toward encouraging Dev to continue "It's weird because.... I don't know, Middle school is way different than 'elementary school, I mean I knew that from tv, but middle school isn't like tv."

"It's okay, nothing like tv, that thing lies” Beau softly chuckled to himself and continued “I remember thinking Pogo sticks were the SHIT-cuz 'of people and cartoons on tv made it look so easy"

"I finally got enough money for one-- you were like little you probably don’t remember this-- but I was SO HYPED, I wanted mom to watch me. I took one hop, fell on my ass, and never hopped on that bitch again. I was pissed, I think mom was trying to her best not to laugh but I was so pissed I think I didn’t notice until now. I chucked the pogo stick in the garage, and I never looked at that bitch again”

Dev let out a stiff laugh, the defensive wall Dev put was slowly breaking

"Oh WAIT WAIT!” Beau said taking a moment to correct himself “ That WASN’T the last time the last time I looked that bitch, I fished it out of garage years later, only cuz’ I need some money for Madden. So, I did look at that bitch one more time, but only to sell that bitch.”

Dev let out a more audible laugh, but quickly caught himself and recollected, returned to his disillusioned teenage state.

"Anyway, The teacher's are kind of weird, like a lot of them hate my guts already, except for the coaches who are super nice to me." Dev explained, kind of looking away from his brother

"Weird, why do you think that is?" Beau asked whole hearty

"Because I'm related to you, Numb skull!" Dev blunted , groaning putting his hand on his forehead

"Oh damn, I guess that's my fault." Beau realized, rubbing the back of his neck "My bad. that my awesomeness is just lengardy"

Dev shook his head and rolled his eyes "It's not awesome to live in YOUR shadow!" Dev sulked, sinking back into his chair, his hands covering his face.

"You don't have to follow in my awesomeness, I know I'm a hard act to follow." Beau boasted teastingly so"You just gotta make your own awesomeness."

"What does that even mean?" Dev questioned, moving his hands down, allowing his eyes to peek through his fingers, trying not to given the urge to roll his eyes

"It's like my awesomeness comes from my boyish charm and good looks..." Beau claimed, striking an award winning smile, The urge not to roll his eyes was becoming even hard for Dev, but he still had to try and respect Beau "But your awesomeness could come from being good at games, or computers shit or math or robots or something--I don't know something real nerdy"

"I guess, you're right" Dev mumbled and shrugged,lifting himself up back into a sitting position rather than almost spilling out of his chair.

"Its not a guess, its science!" Beau declared proudly, tapping his temple with his index finger

"No,that's not science!" Dev arguing his brother's stupidity, flatly shaking his head in disagreement

"See, there you go using your nerd awesomeness" Beau pointed out with a wink "Keep that up and you'll go from Beau's lil bro, to just ‘Dev’ in no time." Beau playful tousled Devs mop dirty blonde hair

"I mean.." Dev continued batting his brother's hand away, "I was also thinking of joining the video game club or the robotics club at school."

"There you go another nerdy thing that to add to your own awesomeness" Beau said

"Yeah...." Dev continued ignoring his brother's comment' “Some of my friends are thinking about joining, and it would be a nice place to go away from mom and dad."

"I had sick memories of hanging out with the team, we got into some wild shit." Beau said laughing to himself, fondly reminiscing "But I'm sure you and you geek squad could have "wild" times too, like making an anime robot 'weify." or whatever those called or finding a new math formula or something"

Dev fell quiet for another moment, Beau always seems like he’s in between being supportive and subtly roasting him, Dev then uttered "um... I think I kind of have a crush... on a girl..."

"AYE, let's go! "Beau exclaimed, clapping and shaking Dev's chair for a bit before bouncing back on the bed'' Come on, don't leave me hanging, what's her name? "Have you talked to her vet? Have you asked her out? Have-"

"Calm down!" Dev demanded "I said I had a crush, I didn't say we’re going out.'"

"Oh, so you haven’t talked to her, huh?”

"No, I-I don't even know her name" Dev huffed, he let his arms slip into his oversize sleeves and covered his sleeves with his face in frustration.

"You know you could just ask, not the chick, like just ask around"

"I can't do that because if I do, people will find out I like her and if she finds out, I would just have to stop going to school!”

"Okay, let’s just pretend you DO have the balls to talk to this girl, what's the worst that could happen?" Beau suggested

"She finds out that I like her, thinks I'm weird and never wants to talk to me again or even look at me!” Dev muffled through his sleeved covered face

"You really think she can sus that out all in one go!" Beau said "I mean she is a middle Schooler unless she's like a young nancy drew, she is not going to chew you up and spit out like that." Beau explained "speaking of which''

Beau paused for a moment to spit out his gum into the trash can "Score!"

"Anyways, have you done anything weird to her or around her?"

"No, I mean I look at her in the hallways before and in between class, but I don't like-- stalk her or anything too weird." Dev mumbled, moving his sleeves from his face, but his head was still targeted down at his fingers fiddling with a tag on his black shorts

"So, then what's the fear?" Beau inquired, resting his chin on the heel of his palm

Dev thought for a moment, his eyes shifting looking for an answer." I-I guess I just don't know how to talk to her."

"Well, fuck, that's easy" Beau chuckled “Just talk about school shit, or just say "hi"

"Is it really that easy?"

"Yeah, if you have the balls for it" Beau reiterated "Think about it like this, the dudes you play in your little nerd games have to fight a dragon, a demon or some anime witch with huge melons to talk to the girl they like and they er brave enough to do all of that wacky shit. But you’re lucky, you don't have a dragon for real in your way to keep you talking from your crush. The dragon's just in your head! If those hero dudes can fight dragons they actually can see, doesn't that mean you can fight a dragon you don't even see."

"That was a really lame and kind of confusing metaphor" Dev sassed " But I guess understand what your trying to say"

"Exactly" Beau said nodding confidentiality

"Can we talk about mom and dad?" Dev asked sheepishly, looking up at his brother, (well as much as he could with his shaggy bangs in the way), his fingers now toying with his hoodie strings

"Did something happen?"

"No, I mean yeah, I mean it's just weird" Dev said "Mom and dad are starting to get more annoying but I don't know if they were always like that or they like charged"

"No, parents don't really change-usually” Beau explained “It's just that being a teenager makes you hypersensitive to a bunch of shit and makes you wanna be alone more. Parents, the good ones like spending time with their kids and they actually want quality time n' shit and that's where they start to get annoying".

“"Oh okay,” Dev nodded.'' It's just weird because sometimes I feel like I hate them, but I don't want to. I think I just really want to be alone more like you said but I don't want to shut them out, I just want them to get that." Dev-fiddles with the strings of his green hoodie

"Yeah, I think they do in a weird old people kind of way. Believe it or not they were teenagers to even if that was back in the stone age n' shit" Beau joke"

Dev let out an actual laugh, a sign to Beau that he's little bro was being less of a moody teenager

"Anyway, even with that said mom and david-I mean dad aren't mind readers, it would be cool if you give them a heads up, you don't have to tell them all about what's going on in your little teen nerd brain but at least something simple like something weird or funny that happened at school, or asking for help on homework or a project for class or some shit like that, I'm pretty sure Dav-dad would love that.."

"I guess I could try". Dev said slightly nodding his head "But Carrie is kind of weird too!

"How can Carrie be weird, she's 5.” Beau scoffed "she doesn't do anything weird really"

Dev added" it's just sometimes she's regular cute and other times she's annoyingly cute if that makes sense"

"I mean like kind of get what you're saying but "Beau shrugged gesturing his hand toward prompting Dev to continue

"Like I still look out for her because she little, but because she's little that means I have to do dumb stuff like look for monsters under her bed or do that sleep shuttle thing you do, but I can't really do it because my arms give out halfway through and she's heavier than she looks."

"Well, little brothers and sisters are annoying, it's kind of their job, trust me I know from experience" Beau: put his hand on Dev's knee, Dev tried to Swat at it but Beau quickly put his hand back with a smirk.

"But like with mom and da-David just cuz she's annoying doesn't mean You can’t look out for her n stuff"

"I guess, its because lately, it seems like'' Dev paused 'for a beat, his hands hard gripping the strings of his hoodie, before continuing" I don't know mom and dad have been paying more attention to her than me"

A mischievous smile creeps across his face. "AW does someone miss being the baby?"'

"Oh, fuck! I knew you 'er gonna say that!" Dev blurted out, feeling really exposed, he pulled his hoodie strings allowing his head to be consumed by his hoodie, all but his nose.

"Hey! language,” Beau said, surprised at his little brother's reaction those harsh words coming out of the mouth of small boy sporting a Yoshi hoodie

"You cuss' all the time!" Dev huffed pulling his hoodie back down, then crossing his arm definitely

"Yeah, but I'm older than you, and if mom and David--DAD hear you curse they’er gonna know you got it from me and won't get off my ass about it!"

Dev stared at his brother, simmering in frustration in failing to coming up w/a good come back or a flaw in his brother's logic, He let out a heavy sigh and resumed "Anyways, it's NOT like I miss being the baby, I just miss being able to hold their attention without Carrie coming in and stealing them anyway, I don't know its weird"

"Wait, did you just say that you wanted to be alone and away from mom and David-fuck. I'm not even gonna try more-he's asleep anyways." giving up any attempt to make the word "Dad" same with the name "David"

"Yeah, I know that's what makes it weird!" Dev admitted, he sulked back deeper into his chair and let out a groan.

"You know Carrie's not awake all the time, maybe you can talk to mom and David, when she goes down for her nap, hell, I could just take her to the park for a day." Beau offered

"You'd really do that for me?" Dev peeped, quickly lifting himself up in a sitting position, surprised at his brother kind offer

"Yeah, anything to make you less of a weird angsty shut in, with a bunch of cringy keep out signs and keep out tape!" Beau gestured towards the door

"Actually, I got that caution tape from a real crime scene" Dev clarified, with a smug smile

"Really?" Beau taking a longer closer look at the door

"No, thick head, I found it in a dumpster next to party city!"

"You go dumpster diving?" Beau said, raising an eyebrow

"I have a life outside of YOU!" Dev stated proudly

"Okay, and on that... Weird garbage goblin flex, sibling bonding time is over." Beau said getting up from the bed and heading for the door

"Actually, one more thing..." Beau said quickly, turning around, rushing towards Dev, putting him into a headlock.

"Did ya miss me? Come on, tell me that you missed me!" Beau taunted as he gave his brother a long and through noogie "Ouch, Ow, Ow, Okay, okay, I missed You. Geez:" Dev pleaded trying to struggle out of his brother's grip

"That's what I wanted to hear!" Beau said with a smirk, letting 'Dev go.

"Ugh! my hair" Dev fumed , gawking at his even more messy mop of hair.

"Like you care about appearances" Beau chuckled" mop top nerd!"

"Mullet-hair metal meathead!"

"Ouch, that was pretty good" Beau teased pretending to look hurt "Garbage Goblin"

"You already-"Dev started but was cut off by Beau closing the door

"Too late, the door is closed, I can't hear you, which means I win!" Beau said through the door, laughing at his brother's muffled fury of frustration.

Beau grinned relishing in the absolute confusion of his younger brother, but that good vibe quickly faded once he arrived at the door to his old bedroom. He just stood there and stared at the door for a bit, he could feel the icky stew of the emotions from bubbling back up again.

He flexed his hand a few times as if this was the first time he's ever pored a door, Beau's hand reached for the door handle before retracted as if the knob was red hot.

Beau sheepishly looked around as if somebody was watching him, no one was but it sure did feel like it. He considered sleeping on the couch, but that would be weird, since it seemed like his step dad put his luggage in his room. so, eventually he would have to go into his room anyway.

Beau took a deep breath. "Come on, it's just a door, dude!" He told himself Beau's hand rested on the door knob, he took another deep, his hand gained a stronger grip, and he slowly pushed the door open, Beau carefully entered the room as he closed the door behind him. Looking around the room was plaster with posters of football players and a few pinups of doe-eye, sensual women in swimsuits and other scantily clad outfits.

Athletic medals, trophies and awards displayed proudly on his bookshelf that lacked any actual books, those trophies stood next to pictures of Beau with his teammates, all illuminated by the moon's dull pale blue light. These relics of what felt like a bygone era used to fill Beau with so much pride and joy but looking at them now just leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

He could barely even recognize himself in those photos. This whole room felt like a shrine or more like a tomb to someone who no longer exists.

Looking at all this stuff just made the icky feelings from before rise up to the back of his throat making the bad taste linger even longer.

Beau couldn't really pin what-these feelings were, so he shifted his focus on just getting some sleep

As he thought, Beau's step dad put his luggage on his bed. He opened his bag and quickly changed into a white tank top and some grey sweatpants. He fished out the mix tape from his jean jacket and put into the gray clucky music player on his nightstand. Beau turns the music up loud enough for him to hear but not loud enough for disturb anyone else. Heavy metal music (ironally) helped him sleep on hard nights.

Beau laid in bed focusing on the one spot in his room that wasn't decorated with high school memorabilia. Focusing on that spot was way better than focusing on the icky feelings from earlier. All he needed to was focus on sleep just sleep, Beau closed his eyes and tried to focus on just sleep.

The next time Beau opened his eyes, he was back in the hallway of his highschool. Beau looked around confused why he was back here but before he could really sus out the situation, his thoughts were interrupted by a loud thud. He followed the sound of the thud that led to a scene of a bespectacled student being shoved up against the lockers. The student's face contorted by fear.

"P-please, d-don't hurt me. "the student uttered, the words quivering as it left his lips.

"Aww, look at him, guys." a familiar voice said, Beau couldn't see whom the voice belonged to. There was a strange mist in the hallway that obscured the person's face.-

"He's scared." the voice said mockly, the person nodded towards a group of people whose faces were also obscured by the mist, they laughed in response

“Don't worry, little buddy, I'm not gonna hurt ya:" the person taunted as he tightened his grip on the student and shoved his body up against the failing student. "As long as you don't squeal" .

"You squeal, and I'll fry you like the pig you are, got it. Swine?"

"I-I p-promise I W-won't. J-just please let me go!" the student begged

Beau was disturbed by scene happening before him, but along with the feel of disgust came a feeling of familiarity, like he's been there before

Just then the fog lift to reveal the face of a younger version of Beau dawned in his red “New Burny High school” letterman jacket. He was smirking relish in the fear he was inflicting on the poor student.

Older Beau slowly back up, almost stumbling as he was coming to the realization of the origin of all those icky feelings from before

"I don't know, do we trust him, guys?" Younger beau asked cocking his head back to his teammates, who shook their head in disagreement "The Boys and I don't seem very sure of that, I think I'm gonna have to test your loyalty !" Younger Beau winded up his arm for a punch, But before his fist could make an impact.

Beau found himself back in his room in a cold sweat, hyperventilating as quickly rose from his bed. His room, still illuminated by the moonlight, with the metal mix tape softly playing in the background. He looked at his hand as if they were lethal weapons. How could I do such a thing?

#daydream blog #daydream blogging #daydream dairy #paraportal #paracosm: humble pie #para: beau #para: devin #para: carrie #immersive daydreaming #paracosm

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lifesinterest · 7 years

Text

How to Start a Journal for Cheapos

I’ve always wanted to write this little (life changing) tip.

I’ve been looking at journals/bullet journals/planners on tumblr, instagram and pinterest for quite a while because they’re so aesthetically pleasing! I follow like 20+ blogs because they are sooo nice to look at. The color schemes, the handwriting, the stickers, the washi tape, their clean white backgrounds - it makes everyone so jealous. BUT AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!

Respect to those who make their journals/notes and their edits so pretty because they’re honestly eye candy. But their community is so small, you know? Not everyone can post pretty pics of their notes and actually have time for other important stuff (like actually study and not take 50 pics and spend 10+ minutes on each pic to edit, in addition to liking everything from other studyblrs).

That’s why I’m gonna give you some life hacks(?) for those who want to start a journal that's aesthetically pleasing without having to empty your wallet to buy the exact same materials they use. Please note, this is more of a Canadian hack because the US dollar is killing us.

The Book

The most important part of this hack is the book. Many people use the Happy Planner, Moleskine, Leuchtturm1917 (I had to Google the spelling), or any journal that’s dotted/grid. That’s too expensive for me ($20-30+) and other dotted journals are like…$15 CAD for 60 pages. Where’s the bargain there? I mean, sure dotted journals are cool but do you really need the dotted journal? I went down that route at first so I printed out my own dotted journal using my computer and printer. At first I was pretty excited, but when I started to write across the page, I just felt like the dots were confining me to where and how big I could write. I placed my dots so that it matched the measurements of any regular dotted notebook (so I could feel cool) but it didn’t work out like I wanted to. Keep in mind that there are days where my handwriting is excellent and others times where it just looks like my younger brother decided to scribble in it. You need small handwriting and if you write outside the dotted box, your inner perfectionist comes out and you just feel like your whole life is ruined because you couldn’t keep yourself inside the line dot.

I’ve made my own notebooks (which I still use) and bought a couple others to find which works for me. I find that a blank pages work best. I have two DIY notebooks and the one without the any lines/dots is basically at the end of its use. I can sketch, write notes - basically anything and it doesn’t look bad. The other one on the other hand, I have to keep myself inside the box and it just drives me crazy when one stroke goes over the line. I also bought a Muji 2017 planner at the end of December. It was ~$12 + tax and it was on sale. It was a smart buy for a simple weekly planner but you know what would be a smarter buy? The same planner layout from Dollarama for $4+tax. Why did I buy something from Muji you ask? Because the pens are cheapish and good quality and there was a sale on planners (duh). I think Muji stores have sales at the end of the year or around a large holiday where notebooks are on sale. I haven’t bought one so I can’t say for sure about the quality but I know for sure the quantity does not match with the expensive price (for Canadians). The planner I bought is not recycled paper and is of good quality.

(http://empfire.info/my-favourite-planner-from-muji/)

My other notebook is one I just bought and I’m in love. Guess where I bought it from? Dollarama! For $3.50 + tax. I’ve been eyeing it for a month and when I tried to look for it at a different Dollarama, it wasn’t there! I freaked out so I went back where I first saw it and there was only one left (phew)! It’s labeled as a sketchbook but I originally planned for it to be a journal. Also, if you do decide to buy a blank journal, I recommend sketchbooks because they come in different color, thickness and texture of paper; it all depends on what you want.

This is what it looks like. And obviously, I didn’t edit it because AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT (with my dusty ass table). I don’t know if the paper is recycled or not because it doesn’t say but it sure is recyclable! There’s no coils or anything, just a piece of fabric and a wad of glue that basically holds everything together. The cover is chipboard. And I love it! It’s got that recyclable paper look so I can be cool and say I’m saving the world. The paper quality is pretty thick. I tested the paper with a Sharpie and it didn’t bleed through though you could see it from the other side. I’m not too sure it will hold a watercolor portrait but it does feel like it won’t bleed through if you use it sparsely. So for those in Canada, I highly recommend this book as something on your To Buy list - good quality and quantity for a cheap price.

Writing Utensils

The second most important must have for a journal because what’s the point of a notebook if you can’t write in it? There are many out there that your favorite studyblrs use: Mildliners, Muji pens, Staedler Fineliners, Microns, etc… But hey, guess what? You don’t need any of those! Those are all just over hyped. You can totally go old school and use Crayola!. I recently bought a pack of 25 Crayola Supertips for $3 + tax. And that my friends, is a steal. They usually retail for ~$7. I once saw a pack of 50 for $3 in a flyer which is twice the deal. And honestly, with Mildliners, I don’t understand what the hype is all about except for the fact that everyone uses them…because everyone else uses them (y’know what I’m sayin’?). It’s basically a double ended marker retailing for $7-8 for a pack of 5. Where’s the bargain? As for Muji pens…I have no complaints. I’m lucky enough to discover it and live close to a Muji store. Their gel pens are the only ones that don’t stop writing in the middle of a word. Don’t you hate that? I only go for the dark blue color though because I feel like regular ballpoint pens do such an amazing job at…you know…writing! I go to college, and as all you college students know, there are free pens everywhere and some of them are really good with pigment and the smooth flow. ATM, I’m using a Paper Mate pen I got from Tylenol (I swear). The only complaint I have for Muji Pens is that it smudges real easily. I currently use a dark blue color in 0.7 if you were wondering. I feel like that smaller the size of the pen is, the more unstable my hand writing is. I write quite big.

I also see the Pilot erasable highlighter around in pastel. I was tricked into buying these suckers and honestly…I may or may not regret it. I regret it because they don’t function very well. I looked into reviews and everything and they all say they’re amazing with a 5 star rating but I would say so otherwise. I bought it for the functionality of it during school instead of just journal use. I highlight a sentence I wrote but then I go a bit too far and when I do this cool pen twirl thing to use the other end to erase it…the ink smudges. It freaking smudges and guess what? The ink is NOT erasable. The highlighter basically erases its pigment but leaves a nasty ink smudge on my paper. Why…did nobody talk about this? I’m pretty darn sure it’s not only me. The only reason I bought it was because I don’t like the neon colors (I also bought it because it looked cute). This highlighter didn’t work very well (it died on me the first month) so I started looking at other highlighters and found something called a gel highlighter usually sold and on sale by Sharpie. When I did some research though, I found that it had the exact same look as a pencil crayon or even a crayon. It was just a neon color. So, I pulled out my 64 pack of Crayola crayons I didn’t use since grade 5 and used it to highlight my notes and can I tell you how pretty it looks? Since your paper have different grains, the crayon looks different when drawn on the paper (how much white space is covered). So my recommendations are Crayola Supertips and crayons. I don’t have a recommendation for fineliners but there are many alternatives that do not cost $7-10.

Stickers and Washi Tape Decoration

Ohh the glory. Don’t they look so nice when they’re color coordinated? Well, honestly though, AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!!! How do you find the time in your schedule to sit down for an hour (or more?) and plan your week with stickers and washi tape? And I’ve seen videos of planners who “switch” to the bullet journal because they don’t have time to plan their life with stickers and washi tape anymore. I mean, for sure it’s nice to look at but do you really want to spend your time doing it? For you creative people out there, could you plan your week in one day and not touch your stickers again for the entire week? I don’t think so. I know I would be rearranging stickers, and adding additional ones throughout the week because my hands won’t sit still. Plus, the nice stickers are expensive (especially from Etsy). Sorry but I don’t have any sticker alternatives. If I did, I wouldn’t share them because I wouldn’t even use it anyway. I’m a sticker hoarder so there is no way I’m using any stickers in my books. As for washi tape, you can’t go wrong especially if you buy it on ebay. The only thing that can go wrong is being a washi tape hoarder. Some have drawers and drawers of washi tape and I’m like…really, girl? Really? I only have 2 tubes from Michaels because it was BOGO free and I feel that it’s plenty. So, as for decoration, I recommend you skip the stickers and just use the washi tape. The tape can go a long way and it has multiple creative uses.

The Cheapest Alternative

Almost everyone has a phone or tablet. Well, guess what? There are a bunch of free apps that allow you to write down journal entries. If you just want to look at a bunch studyblrs, studygrams and Pinterest posts like me, just write your entry on your phone before you decide whether or not you’ll actually be able to continuously write in your journal. Again, this is a beginner’s guide to journaling, planning, etc. So, there is no need to go expensive right away - you may never know if you like it or not and if you’ve found your own writing style. Just buy a cheap notebook first before heading out to buy a $30 notebook from Moleskine. You have all the time in the world, so be patient and find out what works for you!

#studyblr #journals #bullet journal #cheap monday #guide for cheapos #stationary review #journaling for beginners #mypost

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bangtanhmu · 7 years

Text

backstory

hi hi my friends ! i have finally compiled all of my backstory files & have decided to put them together for u in one giant post since some of u were interested ! i linked the texts where certain info is referenced for some things that u might have missed !!!! n also u don’t have 2 read this @ all like y/n is still YOU these are just like the mini fics i wrote 2 help me write the texts so they’re all unique 2 each individual boy n everyone has their own stories n personalities !

pls put ur reading glasses on 2 protect ur lil eyes bc we are abt to go on a luv~ journey

Y O O N G I: custard bread couple

how they met:

they met @ a clothing store !!! the stylists had finally caught on that yoongi had been taking home his ~work clothes because honestly he had been a lil too lazy to shop or dress himself lately and after he gave them back he was left w very little clean things and didn’t want to go through their communal laundry pile n figure out what was his so he decided to just shop instead. so he went out w the standard celebrity hat + mask disguise combo and tbh noticed y/n working in the shop right away bc she was in the darks section hidden between two racks of sweaters n secretly using her phone. and it was kinda cute n funny to him 1. bc she was slacking off during work and 2. bc she was dressed in white n pastel pink so she did more standing out than blending in. n so yoongi pretended to look thru a rack of black sweaters for a few mins before he cleared his throat n said “is playing hide and seek part of the job?” and y/n obvi jumped bc she didn’t even realize someone had been in that section and dropped her phone on the ground. so she was pouty and ready to kinda say something bratty back but as soon as she took one look @ yoongi n his hat + mask she bursted into laughter and said “you look like a walking police sketch” min yoongi pretty much lost to the demonic possession that is love @ that very moment

backstory: yoongi’s y/n

her parents run an art gallery in gangnam !!! they always gave her lots of freedom 2 pursue her own interests so when she was little she did everything from piano to taekwondo to dance to collecting dragon ball figurines but also rilakkumas. she never rly had 2 worry abt anything bc her parents are super supportive. and now……..because she’s always had so much freedom, she doesn’t exactly know what she wants to do w her life ??? because a lot of things interest her ?? and choosing one thing doesn’t seem like a decision she’s ready to make yet !?? so she got the job @ the clothing store bc she wanted some responsibility (even tho she breaks company policy n is on her phone half of her shift) and routine. n it made her feel a little less guilty abt being ~taken care of i guess ???? but tbh she doesn’t give herself enough credit bc she does a lot for other ppl ??? esp for her parents like she’s always helping out @ the gallery and running errands hmm other things. she has an older brother who studies film (her fam is generally v artistic) n he’s quite serious n like the definition of perfect child and she likes to tease him a lot but she takes care of him a bit too she’ll call him like “ i dropped off some candles n boxes of tea @ ur apartment bc yesterday you looked so stressed u kinda resembled goku abt to go super saiyan. that can’t be good for ur health !!! take care of urself ”!!!! um tbh when yoongi n y/n were getting to know each other like ~deeply she was kinda worried that he’d be put off by her upbringing bc tho they are not completely polar opposite, his is still very very different from hers and she was afraid that maybe he’d judge her for it but it wasn’t like that @ all !!!! yoongi was v happy & relived (?!!!) to hear this bc he knew that she had 3 pillars of support if he couldn’t be there for some reason and also it was so……….. relieving………. for his heart to know that she hadn’t been hardened by the world ??? and like y/n had been studying his reaction super closely totally prepared for some judgment but the only thought in yoongi’s head was “thank god thank god thank god” because y/n is like his own little heaven & that’s hella cheesy for him to think so it’s probably why he calls her demon instead. he likes that she has many interests because she always has something new to tell him and she knows a little abt everything so when they go out n she explains something to him he feels proud ???? and impressed and smitten ?? and not the usual annoyed bc she talks abt things a lot cuter and with less pretense than namjoon does when he’s being a know it all. but he doesn’t feel like y/n is a know it all. she’s just a sharer !!!! she wants to share everything w yoongi from random facts abt soccer or art or the extensive n complicated backstory of the band gorillaz & she gets excited about it and yoongi LOVES it !!!! he loves that when she’s excited the first thing she thinks abt is telling him so he can be excited too and he loves that he doesn’t have to guess what she’s thinking or feeling bc she tells him everything. she doesn’t hide from him and so he feels like he can’t hide from her and pushes himself to be more honest and open and it’s so relieving to finally be able to fully share himself w someone !!! the only thing that takes years off his life is that yoongi is like 90% of y/n’s impulse control (i think u could tell that in a few texts) lmao

custard bread couple things:

side characters - custard bread lady. y/n’s best friend sooyoung who has a very straightforward and ~jeongguk like personality.

reoccurring themes: custard bread, stop saving his fansite pics, love is demonic possession lmfao, RILAKKUMA VS KUMAMON, this face ;(

nicknames: brat (he calls y/n this usually followed by ;( ) demon (they call each other this lmfao) yoongz (y/n calls him this) mim moomgi (y/n calls him this)

how they met custard bread lady:

it was predating. yoongi was walking y/n to work one morning (which….. he’d rather be sleeping but he wouldn’t be able to see her for a week after that so he decided to milk all the time he had) n they decided to stop @ custard bread lady’s shop bc it was open and on the route 2 y/n’s job so it seemed pretty convenient (they had never been there before) n the plan was to get yoongi’s black coffee & y/n’s hot chocolate n get out of there within 5mins which seems like a reasonable plan but little did they know a middle aged man from h e l l would be the customer ahead of them. & every time yoongi tells this story he swears this man must’ve had zero concept of the coffee making process bc he was like ridiculously offended that he’d have to wait a few minutes for his coffee n completely yelling @ custard bread lady for no reason which was……….delaying the production of his coffee even further. n y/n wanted to step in so bad yoongi could see it all over her face she wanted 2 straight falcon punch this middle aged dude all the way to whatever sad desk job he has for disrespecting the god they would come 2 know as custard bread lady. but he knows her. she’s too high maintence for prison. so yoongi rolls his eyes and very loudly says “just go buy a bottled coffee from f*cking starbucks if ur really in that much of a hurry” and the man turns around like what did u say u punk. who do u think you’re talking to. and yoongi has decided to just completely pretend like he didn’t say anything bc if u dont give demons like this attention they’ll eventually go away so he takes the opportunity 2 step up to the counter n is like “can we have a black coffee n hot chocolate pls we’re prepared 2 wait as long as u need” n custard bread lady is so confused bc the man is like still yelling @ yoongi (who is holding tightly onto y/n so she doesnt turn around like “HE SAIIIIIIIID JUST GO BUY A BOTTLED COFFEE FROM F*C—”) so custard bread lady prepares their order n the guy is yelling @ yoongi who is now scrolling through twitter on his phone & taking mental note of all the new curse words he’s learned from this man and eventually that dude leaves (not without threatening to find yoongi later) and custard bread lady is relieved that he’s gone & is thanking them like they’re some kind of heroes & they’re like we literally didnt do anything @ all. but she’s appreciative anyway n throws in free bread w/ their order and unknowingly changed their lives n taste buds 4ever 🍞

face claim:

gfriend eunha

(idk if these are technically face claims bc i rarely show their faces ! i just like 2 use the same girl for one member to keep the texts consistent & unique 2 them)

S E O K J I N - ajae couple

how they met:

they met @ uni !!! seokjin is hardly ever on campus (he’s a v busy man) so he was super super lost n confused trying to find a restroom one day. and while he was wandering through the halls he saw y/n carrying a 50 ft stack (an exaggeration) of coloring books (there’s a reason ehehheh) and even tho his bladder was abt 2 explode he ran over to help her bc it really looked like she’d fall over if a spec of dust landed on top of them. but being suddenly approached by a tall n broad (n handsome) guy startled y/n so s he fell over anyway. and seokjin laughed his rly rly loud goofy laugh as he picked up the coloring books surrounding her and made a rly cheesy "wow i didn’t think you’d fall for me this quickly" joke & @ first y/n was completely appalled but then she realized he wasn’t laughing at her he was laughing at his own joke lmao !!!! not everyone is as confident n open as seokjin he has no problem talking 2 ppl but it was kind of not the case for y/n she didn’t rly know what to say or do so he did abt 90% of the talking as he carried the coloring books (he didn’t ask abt them) to wherever they needed to go n y/n did abt 100% of the laughing bc seokjin held back a little not wanting 2 overwhelm her and because he rly liked hearing her laugh for some reason. so they get 2 where y/n needs to go n seokjin puts everything down n jokingly asks if there’s a 50ft stack of colored pencils that he also needs to bring in n she laughs again so he’s satisfied n decides to quit while he’s ahead. before he leaves he asks 4 her number and also directions to the nearest restroom !!!!!!!

backstory: seokjin’s y/n

she wants to be a teacher. a kindergarten or elementary school teacher❗️👩🏻‍🏫 she’s like a teaching assistant rn n she’s almoooooooost finished w school !!!! i think what she wants 2 do says a lot abt her personality. very patient very kind & gentle !!!!!! and will indulge in ~childish things like games the way seokjin does !!! but i don’t think she’s as outgoing as him she’s more introverted n shy !!!! she’s the oldest in her family n has 2-3 younger siblings so i think that’s part of the reason why she wants to work w kids so much bc she’s good w them and she loves interacting w them and she has more patience than others do so she’s rly good @ taking the time to understand them…………and seokjin lmao. she listens to him like genuinely listens & appreciates what he has to say and it rly means a lot to him bc there’s certain times when he feels under appreciated or like his voice doesn’t matter but she takes him 100% seriously. she encourages all the silly behavior he’s usually told to suppress bc that’s his charm !! and she thinks he’s sincerely funny and cute and interesting and smart. and tbh most people don’t rly remember that seokjin is his family’s maknae and being the oldest of 7 dudes was probably hard to adjust to !!! they talk abt cooking & baking !! it’s usually seokjin leading and y/n assisting but she’s the one who finds the recipes and stuff n gets so excited bc “omg seokjin is gonna LOVE this !!!!!” and tbh she’s so soft for seokjin he still flusters her a lot even tho they’ve been together for a while so whenever she calls him handsome or cute it’s not bc she knows he wants to hear it but bc she’s still like so in awe of him n probably won’t ever stop. family is so important to her & hers really ADORES seokjin like she mentioned how much her mom loves and brags abt him & that makes her so happy ! n it makes him happy too bc he fits right in & he feels like he belongs ! @ the beginning seokjin was rly worried about scaring her off bc she seemed so shy and stuff and he didn’t wanna overwhelm her but they both got comfortable super quickly bc seokjin is such an easy person to be around and once she started opening up he brought out his full personality. and it’s feels so nice to be himself and have someone w/ common interests and someone he can talk to without feeling like he’s whining. he loves her a lot like rly rly rly loves her n is willing to put aside his pride & admit that she might be the most beautiful person on this planet. he loves to take photos of her when they’re out eating n stuff n it makes her shy but he just like loves looking at her and probably spends most of the day remembering her face. but he also loves like how good she is !! like just a genuinely good person w a pure heart and he thinks it’s so cute that all the games she plays are like super mellow nintendo games like animal crossing !!! he probably bought the game too just so he could give her the fruit from his town and bury bells outside of her house. omg he probably screams when he shakes a tree and bees start chasing him and y/n thinks it’s so cute & funny to watch him panic n then complain abt his character’s visual being compromised bc of the stings. tbh they’d be THAT family that has like a yt account where seokjin uploads vids of him & his son’s mario maker map or snack reviews and u can hear y/n laughing in the background as she’s filming. good & pure.

ajae couple things:

reoccurring themes: cooking, food, video games.

face claim:

red velvet irene

J E O N G G U K - choke slam couple

how they met:

these 2 frogs met outside a convenience store lmao !!!! u know those claw game machines where u spend like a billion quarters just to fail @ winning a plushie 50 consecutive times ??? that’s what guk was doing. mingyu made the mistake of saying those things were impossible and of course guk had to prove him wrong. honestly @ the time he didn’t even know why he had so many quarters in his wallet but he’d later find out that it was one of taehyung’s weird pranks that he’ll forever be grateful for because y/n who was eating her convenience store ramen very very slowly had been watching him lose to the machine 7 times in a row and tbh it was so f*vkifng funny to her and watching the rly cute guy getting scammed by a machine had made her forget abt the mental breakdown she had bc of exams 1hr earlier. so she stuffed her snacks in her backpack n watched him fail just once more before sauntering over as he turned to complain to his friend. y/n smiled n said hey as she put 2 quarters into the machine & guk turned around v v v startled but his surprised rounded eyes soon filled w/ awe ? admiration ? worship ? as y/n managed to successfully capture a plushie within 4 seconds n then slid it into the large pocket of his hoodie after she pulled it out of the slot. but guk couldn’t do much 2 respond bc what tf a goddess was standing in front of him??! this divine and hot as hell supreme being who conquered the cursed claw machine in 1 shot. so y/n taught him the secret to beat the game and mingyu had excused himself after the pair had won two more plushies together and guk didn’t even feel bad that he had forgotten that his friend was there bc this really really interesting convenience store girl was leaning over his shoulder n coaching him as he went for the doramon plushie and her hair smelt like strawberries. when he walked her back to her dorm there were 3 plushies in the pocket of his hoodie, one in his actual hood, 3 in y/n’s backpack and one in her arms.

backstory: jeongguk’s y/n

a student !!! she’s a 1st yr university student. she kinda reflects where guk might be if he was a ~normal dude. i think that’s why the way they met is kinda important bc it was 2 ppl the same age @ the same place @ the same time but @ two completely diff places in life & feeling completely diff emotions. she grew up in a competitive environment bc her dad is a taekwondo instructor and her brother is a well decorated like student athlete type of thing in that sport. omg so she spent a lot of time there and idk why i gave her a tiny bit of sad story but she lived most of her life w/o her mom so it’s always been her & her dad & brother like eating take out n watching sports together @ home and that was more than enough 4 her. only her & yoongi’s y/n & hoseok’s y/n seem to be genuinely interested in idol groups and for her i think it’s bc she rly turned to girl group members for her female role models n stuff !!!!! she’s living away from her dad & brother for university & that’s probably why she was having a hard time that night they met. and bc guk knows she’s alone he gives her a lot of attention (in f2l texts he always wanted to talk on the phone or FaceTime even tho they weren’t together yet & he talked abt how he loves being w her even tho sometimes he’s just keeping her company while she studies) guk’s y/n is smart and witty and confident and guk really really really thinks she’s wonder woman or something. in his eyes she can do ANYTHING they joke a loooooot and roast each other a looooooooot but he truly believes she’s the most capable person in the world and he thinks super super super highly of her. she’s funny and dependable and ambitious and understanding and she respects the creative direction of his dubsmash vids lmao. bc they joke around so much guk always takes the time to let her know how much he cares abt her so she doesn’t miss understand. like in the christmas texts and valentine’s texts he’s one of the only members 2 rly pour out his feelings bc he makes sure to put in the effort during special days. y/n sometimes tells him that he doesn’t need to bc she knows without him having to say it and she doesn’t want him to feel pressured but he thinks it’s really important that she hears it from him. it’s a real concern for him he’s mentioned it a few times that his instinct is to show affection through teasing her & memes but that’s bc he was scared of the vulnerability @ first but now he’s a self proclaimed Emo™ and let’s her know that she’s loved by him. their personalities are really really similar so they understand each other easily but are different enough that they compliment each other well and are literally each other’s partner in crime (they talk abt how much trouble they get into). idk if any of u watch running man but there’s this episode when haha’s wife guest stars and they’re paired as a team and the dynamic is sooooooo guk & y/n bc even tho they’re competitive and she’s yelling @ him to endure just a little bit longer so they can win the challenge she’s still being like affectionate n like calling him pet names while coaching him and after he gets eliminated from another challenge and it’s her turn he does the same for her and they won the show that day by like playing to the other teams weaknesses and gassing each other up @ the same time omg & the last challenge was something romantic like they had to both pick a random floor of the building to meet on and if they chose the same one then they’d win and they both picked their anniversary and won & it was so funny & cute bc they were like screaming. and that’s how guk & y/n are. partners in crime but @ the end of the day Emos In Luv.

choke slam couple things:

reoccurring characters: wonwoo from seventeen. uyoo the dog. y/n’s best friend yerin. the napkin lady from the convenience store (who hates them very much).

reoccurring themes: kermit memes / frogs, RIPPED (as in everything he raises [kids…….or puppies] will be ripped like him), jeon jeongguk vs jeon wonwoo, getting banned from places, choke slams

nicknames: frog girl (he calls y/n this because he claims that she looks like a kermit the frog meme) babe (usually it’s hot babe lmfao and he never calls y/n this directly only when he’s talking abt her……..to her?)

face claim:

red velvet joy

J I M I N - snow couple

how they met:

they met…………@ the dmv hehehehehehh! jimin can’t drive yet but he really really wants to and in korea u gotta take one written test n two driving tests. mini is there for the first driving test n he’s sosososo nervous bc if he fails this he really won’t hear the end of it from the others……….especially jeon jeongguk. he’s gone over the procedure abt a thousand times in his head and he’s convinced that he’s ready but then the small waiting room door opens and in walks y/n dressed in all white & her hair in pretty bun (she looks like she has v important plans after this) and she’s reading the driving manual they gave him after his written test and jimin is surprised bc he for sure thought he’d get celeb privilege n take the test alone (plus its early morning who else would be here). y/n sits beside him and notices he’s not studying @ all so she’s like hey wanna share my book !!!! and omg shy jimin is like o….kay…….sure as she scoots closer to him. n jimin pretends to read the left page but rly he’s looking @ her through his peripheral n listening to her whisper the ~important things on the right page to herself and it’s kinda calming but also making him incredibly nervous. n when y/n notices he’s totally not reading she closes the book and introduces herself and jimin (v shyly) does the same n she tells him that she thinks she has a 3% chance of passing considering that her brother has been teaching her & it took him 3 tries to get his license n mini laughs @ this and says that he has a 5% chance of passing because bc he only studied last night and exactly 0 ppl have been teaching him how to drive. so they go out to take their tests and jimin cheers for y/n and she fails n y/n cheers for jimin & he fails but it’s ok and jimin’s like “it looked like u were playing v bad gta” n y/n’s like “well u looked like u were 8th place in mariokart” and while the instructor went to schedule another test for them they were talking abt the teasing they’d get from their friends n jimin was describing guk like an elementary school bully & y/n was like “ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ he’s probably just jealous bc ur more handsome than he is” & jimin was gooooooone

backstory: jimin’s y/n

wow a BIG CUTIE a real flower girl like if jimin was born a girl he might be the cute n small n secretly devilish y/n !!! i imagine her parents to be business people or at least someone mildly important bc she always maintains a clean appearance (like even when they met early in the morning @ the dmv jimin made note of how well put together she looked) and i think she likes that image and so does jimin bc he always feels like he’s meeting up w a princess (except on their secret shinee nights……..that’s strictly business) they can relate to each other in that sense bc even though they’re both very much themselves most of the time there’s still pressure to maintain a certain image in the back of their mind n i think that’s why they clicked right away when they met bc as soon as they stopped pretending to study and joked abt how unprepared they were it instantly became so comfortable. they can admit their faults & insecurities to each other w/o dwelling on it so it’s rly rly rly refreshing n jimin always feels like he’s floating on a cloud when he’s with y/n. she adores him really really adores him so much and i think it’s obvious (even tho she teases him bc his reactions are so cute) bc everything reminds her of him ! jimin has said that she thinks everything small and round looks like him but i really think it’s bc having tiny jimin’s around when she misses him gives her some comfort !!! i don’t think he’s caught on yet bc he still has a hard time comprehending that someone likes him that much & reciprocates his feelings & attachment 100%. she’s the most insecure abt her bf being around so many beautiful ppl !!! n it’s not even that bad like she only ever mentions one group and the only reason it makes her uncomfortable is bc jimin has talked abt them before and jimin is the best guy in the world 2 her so there’s small feelings of “ah am i good enough for him?” but she usually fights those thoughts off. they have so much fun together & they love meeting up outside bc being cooped up is not what they’re abt !!!! but omg jimin is so determined not to waste any opportunity to spend time w her that he sometimes meets up when he’s v exhausted and ends up falling asleep while they’re out (it’s happened twice in daily texts hehe) and y/n doesn’t mind bc she thinks he’s cute even tho it hurts her that he works himself so hard !!! but she’s okay w/ looking after him while he sleeps bc at least she knows for sure that he’s resting. jimin adores her just as much !!! he thinks she’s so funny & amazing & cute & smart and they’re always giggling abt something or talking abt something excitingly but even if they aren’t doing much like if he’s just resting on her lap before he has to leave for a schedule he still feels like he’s on a high. and nothing makes him happier than checking his phone after a super long day n seeing a bunch of goodnight selcas and msgs~ and he appreciates that she feels the need to take care of him bc she’s never really had to take care of anyone before (she's family maknae) and that must mean that he’s rly dear to her so holds that special feeling and takes it with him wherever he goes~

snow couple things:

reoccurring themes: snow app thirst traps, secret shinee thing, apeach, tiny………..park jimin………tears………..

nicknames: mini (y/n calls him this)

what is the secret shinee thing:

okay the secret shinee thing is a………….game? a competition? initially meant to be a stress reliever but it got way too competitive and complicated over time lmfao okay it’s like competitive noraebang + chubby bunny + other special rules !!!!! so the other person picks a shinee song (member solos are allowed too but usually saved for the final round) for you and u have to sing it with 2 marshmallows in your mouth and during a specific members part you have to dance too. and there’s a banned word that u can’t say & u get 5 points deducted from ur score every time u say it and every time u forget to dance. so u have to try to get a high score despite all the challenges and whoever has the highest combined score @ the end wins. okok for example if mini was choosing for you he’d say something like

ring ding dong

jonghyun

banned word: butterfly

and okay if ur score was like 89 but u said butterfly once and forgot to dance once during jjong’s part then ur score would be 79. & if u were picking for mini you’d say something like

taemin

danger

banned word: stay

and the loser has to do like a full game of chubby bunny (i’m imagining jimin rn and dyyyyying) + buy dinner + something embarrassing that the other person gets 2 chose :p

the reason they don’t want anyone to know abt it is because 1. it’s their special game n they’re worried their friends (taehyungandgukbutudidn’thearthatfromthem) might try to take it over 2. they rly look SO ridiculous while playing 3. jimin is actually friends w/ shinee (taemin) and if they found out abt this he’d be mortified 4. they take the competition too seriously heheh :p

face claim:

gfriend yerin

N A M J O O N - aesthetic couple

how they met:

omg they met on set !!!! namjoon is super super super super super super lucky that someone else was sick n y/n was sent to the photo shoot instead. longest photo shoot of his life honestly bc he was hung up on her as soon as she wheeled a rack of clothes past him w/o even looking his way. and he couldn’t help but stare as he was getting his hair done and his eyeliner applied and completely ignoring whatever yoongi was complaining about this time bc the peach tones of her outfit n make up n aura were too captivating & his mind couldn’t rly be bothered to focus elsewhere. and y/n totally knew that he had been staring @ her the entire time bc hello this is y/n she’s always 2 steps ahead of namjoon (which he loves bc he’s always been @ the top of whatever he does he’s never had 2 play catch up before) n so she continued to avoid his eyes as she smoothed out the collar of his shirt & joon was holding his breath bc her perfume that he recognized was really the icing on top of the cake. y/n smiled when he was finally styled to her liking and said “you know my sister likes bangtan. she talks abt jimin 24/7, but i’m more into rappers” joon finally woke up as she was walking away and he shouted out a v awkward “ur wearing chanel no5!!!” and y/n laughed @ his clumsy + cute attempt to impress her. n the fact that she was the smooth one during their first meeting still kills joon 2 this day.

backstory: namjoon’s y/n

she’s a stylist —but not all the way up there yet she mostly does styling for photo shoots n doesn’t have like a person or team she exclusively styles for at the moment but she’d rly like one. she’s interested in design & that would be like a dream come tru and namjoon fully believes in her bc she is so unique & brilliant & pretty much other worldly (in a good way) to him that he knows whatever she creates is gonna be good. she’s like namjoon in that she wants to be cultured ! and has probably studied like foreign language (they talked abt english lessons) or art history or some other interesting thing bc she’s always looking for inspiration. she has a younger sister who loves bangtan (her fave member is jimin) & hates namjoon bc of an incident that happened the first time she met him heheheh her dad is a professor n her mom works very hard to raise the family ! n they’re very well mannered n always had high standards for their daughters n even though they’re not authoritarian style parents y/n & her sister always felt like they had to maintain a certain image. so y/n carries herself w/ a lot of grace & namjoon loves it bc he’s (life threateningly) clumsy. @ the beginning he thought that he was way more into her than she was into him but i think we can all tell from the texts that she rly thinks namjoon is the hottest man alive lmao :p and tbh she finds him rly cute & charming especially the quirky way he dresses & the way he smiles w his entire face & the way he needs to fact check everything !!!!! & she really loves that he’s interested in fashion & supports her work bc she loves sharing each other’s opinions of clothes. they rly are the soulmate couple to me bc even their different interests are similar interests like. they go to record shops/cafes because namjoon likes to find weird english music and she likes to look @ the album art & they have this habit of turning two different things into one common thing. kinda like a puzzle. and that’s why i think they were meant for each other. she’s so openly into him like 24/7 and he pretends to be nonchalant but it flusters him & he loves it but he does his best to act ~smooth. it’s also super good & healthy bc he never feels insecure in the relationship and in return he tries his best to treat her like an actual goddess which she has fun w/ sometimes (the pic of him tying her shoes lmao) but they both receive back the love n attention they give ! it’s a rly good balance. y/n has also mentioned being close w/ namjoon’s mom a couple of times now and he loves it bc he’s such a momma’s boi but sometimes he feels like they just get together over tea and compare notes 📝 bc he’ll get calls from his mom like “you broke her sister’s arm !!!!!!!” or texts from y/n like “i can’t believe it took u 2 days 4hrs and 17 minutes to call your mom back, kim namjoon” lmao they just get each other and are so comfortable w/ each other namjoon can lay his head in her lap and talk abt alternate universes for 3 hours n she’ll let him get all of his thoughts out & he listens to her talk extensively abt the different shades of red. they’re each other’s best friend, personal photographer, #1 fan etc etc. just a good n healthy relationship

aesthetic couple things:

reoccurring characters: y/n’s sister who hates namjoon. y/n’s best friend seungwan.

reoccurring themes: selfie wars, when will y/n’s sister stop hating him?, ryan, mildly suggestive texts.

nicknames: baby (he calls y/n this)

why does y/n’s sister hate namjoon:

he broke her arm lmaoooooooooooo ! accidentally ofc ! it was the first time y/n was introducing her to him n she was very very worried bc her sister is a fan of bangtan n had high expectations that he’d be the person fans thought he was. so namjoon gave 2 of the tickets that are reserved for his friends & family to y/n and her sister and they were gonna meet for the first time after the show n probably eat w his parents or something. at least that was the plan. so everything is over and they’re backstage looking for namjoon & y/n goes to the restroom bc um…….their concerts are like 3hrs long friends. and while she’s waiting y/n’s sister spots namjoon n like naturally she gets v excited bc she’s a fan and stuff n she forgets that she’d recognize him even tho he probably wouldn’t recognize her and she reaches her arm out as he passes to say like “yo my sister is in here” bc he looks like he’s trying to call her on his phone but instead it comes out as a loud n excited HEY !!!! and namjoon looks up 2 see a teenage girl reaching towards him n shouting n wearing the tour merch so he jumps to a very bad conclusion n assumes she’s like a sasaeng or something n gets scared n freaks out lmfao he like pushes his arms out to keep her away n this catches her off guard and she stumbles back n loses her footing n falls v awkwardly n suddenly starts yelling y/n’s name (it all happened v fast they both didn’t have time to react) and namjoon finally recognizes the familiar features and puts 2 n 2 together and hes like oh……………………….shit… and y/n comes out of the restroom and sees her sister on the ground looking livid and namjoon standing in front of her looking like he just signed a deal w/ sweet death and she also says oh……………………shit…and after many bribes including getting jimin to sign her cast she still hates him.

face claim:

apink naeun

T A E H Y U N G - soft couple

how they met:

they met at noraebang late one night omg !!!! taehyung was there w jimin and we know tae doesn’t drink but y/n truly thought he was drunk outta his mind when she walked into the wrong room n found him singing (yelling) and dancing to gee by snsd. jimin was so embarrassed (even tho he wasn’t the one trying to hit taeyeon’s high notes) and just looked @ the doorway mortified but tae didn’t care n offered y/n the microphone as he continued to follow along to the choreography as best as he could. and of course he gained a duet partner bc y/n was smitten as soon as she saw the pure (non intoxicated heheheh) excitement in his eyes :b y/n forgot abt the friends she was supposed to meet there and stayed with the 95z until their hour was up. tae made jimin pretend to be hungry so he had an excuse to hang out w y/n some more and invited her to mcdonalds w them and he kept sneaking peaks at her as they walked the two blocks bc he honestly was convinced she was an angel n now that he wasn’t being filtered by the multicolored lights of the noraebang room he felt a lil shy and ofc jimin noticed this right away and would giggle whenever taehyung’s eyes would go wide when y/n spoke to him and when he stuttered out her order to the cashier !!!! so mini had his fun bc he knew that would be the last time he’d ever hang out w them n not feel like a third wheel

backstory: taehyung’s y/n

if u asked taehyung abt y/n he would tell you that she’s an angel. an angel that has been sent down from heaven to love n protect him. she’s everything an angel would be: kind and caring and sweet and open and loving. she let’s tae be tae and that’s a v important thing !!! often he gets kinda scolded for behaving too ~weirdly or they tell him not to act so freely when they’re on broadcast but that’s never the case w y/n. he’s never heard those things from her. she accepts everything he shares & treats everything so specially n like it’s the most brilliant idea in the world. whenever he’s super excited texting her abt things she never shuts him down or refuses to play along she always joins in just as excited & encourages him to express his creativity and so he always feels super good & confident & he’s never worried that she’ll think he’s strange. and tbh it’s not like she goes out of her way to baby taehyung, that’s just who she is as a person. like when they first met & she didn’t turn around and walk out the door but rather joined in on the fun he was having w/o missing a beat !!!!! she’s just naturally rly open & accepting & fun so he doesn’t feel like she puts up w/ him out of sympathy or whatever. he knows it’s genuine & that she TRULY does think his thoughts and opinions are smart & unique & interesting & she really does fully trust him. and that’s why he think she’s his angel and he’s always reiterating his appreciation for her n complimenting her n making sure that she never doubts the pure love he has for her. she’s an only child and bc of that she’s very sociable and has a lot of friends and obvi has no problems starting conversations w strangers heheh. and she’s also a student like guk’s y/n (i see her doing something w medicine like studying to be a pediatric nurse or something n i can already imagine taehyung shouting nurse wifey !!!!!! when he gets a paper cut) and i think she puts a lot of pressure on herself to succeed in school & worries a lot more than he does in general & she doesn’t rly have to talk about it for taehyung to recognize it so he’s ALWAYS alwaaaaays talking abt her positive qualities bc he never wants her feeling insecure & he mentions how he’ll always be there to love & support her no matter what’s going on in her life bc like he said he loves her when she’s sad happy hungry sleepy thirsty sneezy but especially SAD bc that’s when she needs him most. they’re rly soft and pure omg everything they do is so cute like the couple items? scream. most of it is taehyung’s idea bc he’s excited to be in love and he wants everyone to know !!!!! even though he technically can’t let anyone know & that’s part of why he dotes on her so much too. this is a 2 way angel street. he’s her angel too and she feels it all the time !!!! there’s always a happy guy around that brings out the best in her !!!! n she loves the spontaneity that taehyung brings into her life bc they try a lot of new things !!!!! but still keep some regular things like they’re always eating mcdonald’s lmao (pls help these kids) and they don’t feel the need to go out as often the way jimin’s couple does. they stay in a lot and cuddle up and that’s just as exciting to them bc they have big imaginations and a lot 2 talk abt. they don’t stay mad @ each other bc theyre bother very forgiving n understanding n bc their fights are never fights like they both are very thoughtful ppl they’d never do things like forget an anniversary or say something hurtful that they don’t mean. bc that’s not who they are as ppl (esp in the relationship) taehyung’s jealousy is very small n usually half serious ! bc everyone likes her (like everyone likes taehyung)! from grandmas they meet when they’re out to kids in her neighborhood to her professors to his members (especially guk but it’s only in a noona - dongsaeng way & he mostly just feeds her & the other gfs info on tae/the other boys) so he gets nervous but she always thinks it’s cute and reassures him !!! there’s lots of communication n support n gassing each other up !!!! as expected from angels !!!!!

soft couple things:

reoccurring themes: uses dog pics to represent himself, this couple doodles a lot, tae uses bullet points / report style when he’s trying to make a point without being too serious (ex: missing person report when ur sad, recipe when he’s jealous), emojis, boyfriend daesang, soft memes

nicknames: wifey (he calls y/n this)

face claim:

red velvet seulgi

H O S E O K - best couple

how they met:

they met @ the hospital when hoseok was a handful of months old and y/n was a handful of hours! n there’s not much to say abt that initial encounter but their moms are best friends n they grew up together u know. hoseok would cry whenever he fell n scraped his knee & y/n would tell him she loved him n did her best to distract his thoughts as she placed a band aid over the wound. when her parents didn’t get her the doll castle she wanted for her bday hoseok ran home n gathered up all his legos to build one for her. n so they lived w that kind of dynamic (being each other’s knight in shining armor) for a long time n they loved it u know and they could admit that to themselves and to others but as they grew older they would never admit that they ~more than platonic~ loved each other bc “best friends don’t do that”. so hoseok would sit on the edge of y/n’s desk w his arms crossed n his tongue digging into the side of his cheek as another one of their classmates attempted a horribly thought out confession and instead of direct rejection y/n would ramble on abt what a perfect guy shinee’s taemin was. hoseok still instinctively scoffs whenever he hears replay. it wasn’t easy 4 y/n either bc her bff hoseokie whom she had to quickly change the channel for when horror movie ads came on was suddenly this handsome godly dancer n she had to wash her hands for an uncomfortable amount of time as she eavesdropped on the other girls in the restroom gushing over how hot her best friend was and struggled to deal w the fact that she thought the same.

backstory: hoseok’s y/n

we know a little bit abt y/n’s backstory bc hoseok & y/n mention their childhood a lot. like we know that he’s her best friend and that their moms are best friends and we know that she hasn’t loved anyone besides hoseok (except for shinee’s taemin) she’s basically hoseok sunshine but…………w/ a twist. hoseok is a capri sun & she’s lemonade. she’s rly rly sweet but wow if u even look @ hoseok the wrong way ur dead SO DEAD. but hoseok usually talks her out of being confrontational so u’ll probably just get hit w/ the double stink eye from them. to me she’s got an office job !!!! like she’s the mischievous graduate assistant n probably maknae of the office so she’s well loved but has to do things like run to the store n buy pringles for her coworkers when they’re working overtime and the stereotypic coffee run thing~ she brings a lot of joy to the older employees the way hoseok brings a lot of joy to his members & team so they never work her too hard. i think it’s a v comfortable job for y/n & it’s nice to have kind of a ~controlled environment. the beginning of their relationship was a mix of easy & awkward bc even tho it’s what they both wanted for a long time it was still like…….suddenly ur making out w/ ur best friend what the heck is going on. but after that it was so natural !!!! they know each other’s personalities so well that they’re never confused abt what the other needs !!!! tbh everyone was waiting for this to happen. like their moms have been dreaming abt a wedding for years and yoongi + guk had a bet going on and guk lost bc yoongi did some instigating hehehehh. y/n is so friendly & charming & they’ve known her for as long as they’ve known hoseok so they all like her for him bc she’s absolutely his #1 fan. y/n i think worries the least abt his schedule and not seeing him for a bit bc she’s already experienced it as his best friend and if anything it’s easier now bc she knows he’s ~hers. and if she is missing him he’s rly good @ making himself available to her so things get sorted out pretty quickly ! she rly rly rly cares abt him and wants to protect him bc he’s the best person she knows and so like that’s why she gets so worked up even if someone says they don’t like bngtn lmao & she rly cares abt his feelings like they mentioned that she was a fan of taemin when they were in school but ever since she found out it slightly bothered hoseok (f2l texts) she never mentions it (the way guk’s y/n does. not that she doesn’t care abt guk’s feelings. they’re just 2 v diff boys) !!!!!! she’s always giving him compliments and trying to make him feel good she doesn’t want him to feel insecure. hoseok rly loves her bc he truly feels like he has a person in this world who understands him 100% and he never feels like his personality is too much or too little when he’s with her. everything feels perfect & familiar & it’s like his heart’s home is w/ her and not w him.

best couple things:

reoccurring themes: my mom told ur mom to tell me to tell you / family events (basically all stuff implying that they were childhood bffs turned Best Couple), lee taemin

face claim:

red velvet wendy

#backstory #bonus #relationship details: custard bread couple #relationship details: soft couple #relationship details: best couple #relationship details: chokeslam couple #relationship details: aesthetic couple #relationship details: ajae couple #relationship details: snow couple

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blastingxff · 7 years

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Fate that Binds pt. 5

This part: Lunch with Jessebelle and James goes about as well as it can. Also, Jessie is the new Eugene because that’s my favorite fairy tale (like even before the Disney movie).

first part // previous part // next part Series: Pokemon Characters: Jessie, James, Meowth, Pikachu, Ash, Brock, May, Max, Jessebelle Ships: hints of rocketshipping if you read it that way, mostly just friendshipping though Summary: It had been a throwaway wish, something made out of the frustration of the moment- it wasn’t actually supposed to happen. But the magic of a well haunted by a pokemon’s spirit ended up altering reality. Now, Jessie, James, and Meowth aren’t in Team Rocket. They don’t even know each other. And it’s created far darker a world for the TRio than Ash could have ever imagined, and now he and his friends want nothing more than to change things back to how they were. Genre: Friendship, hurt/comfort, so much angst, all the angst, drama, butchered canon, Words: 1,904 / part 5 out of 16 Trigger Warnings (this part): swearing, abuse Notes: This popped into my head and didn’t get out until I wrote it down. It’s 16 chapters, and entirely written already in about three days. So that will explain a helluvalot. Like the bus-sized plotholes. I just wanted to be mean to my favorite characters, geeze, is that so bad? XP Also can be read on Ao3.

Chapter 5

One Week until the Wedding

This… this isn’t what he wanted.

Those words marqueed in her mind. Her blue eyes shooting towards her travelling companion who looked as though he had gotten little sleep. Did he still blame himself for this? No, Team Rocket had annoyed them all. It was only by sheer chance that she hadn’t wished upon that well herself. I want Team Rocket to just leave us alone. But this was… this…

This isn’t what he meant.

She tried to meet the eyes of the lavender-haired man across the table, his parents having excused themselves on account of business. Beside him a proper, haughty woman ate her lunch with elegance and poise. His manners were impeccable as well, but his shoulders, while back out of politeness, were heavy out of crushed spirit.

When she had managed to catch those green eyes during one of their brief ventures up from the safety of the plate in front of him, she almost wished she hadn’t. They were dull, faded, holding no sign of his vibrant personality in the sparkling emerald she had glared into on so many occasions, the corners of his lips showed no sign of ever engaging in that joyous laughter she had heard from him before, he had been tamed. Broken.

Ash’s puffy eyes that morning had told her he had been crying. Pikachu’s closeness to him confirmed the fact. And now she felt very much like doing the same.

What she wouldn’t give for this to be an elaborate set-up. For them to stand up right now, rip off the unnatural looking blue formal dress Jessie was wearing, the stiff suit James wore, Meowth disguised as the pretty Jessebelle using Wobbuffet to make himself taller, and start the motto. She realized in the moment she was actually wishing, desperately, for them to try to steal Pikachu.

Jessebelle had just finished telling a “hilarious” story about when their Vileplume accidentally got stun spore all over James’ clothes. May was starting to slowly be convinced of her theory of this being a set-up. That’s it. It had to be a trick. This was too messed up. It had to be. “Sounds like having a vileplume makes so you really need to prepare for trouble.”

Her partners caught on immediately to the last three words, and subsequently on some level realized what she was trying to do.

Jessie’s brow only raised a little, but she continued to eat- using the opportunity to get as full as she could. James remained unmoved, focused on his own food. He hadn’t even noticed.

May’s shoulders fell. No, it wasn’t a trick. Unless they decided to nix the motto in the past twenty-four hours, this was the new reality.

“So, James,” Jessie began to speak suddenly, May’s attention made sharp. It was the first word Jessie had said that day, and it was to him. She exchanged an anxious glance with her brother, “What do you do around here?”

“My fiancé here is a master pianist, he plays the most beautiful songs,” Jessebelle spoke before James even had the chance to register that someone was talking to him. His gaze had shifted from the plate to Jessie. For the first time, their eyes met.

Jessie didn’t back down, “I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to James.” Her words came sharp; Jessebelle looked affronted that someone would dare speak to her like that, and in her own home!

“Ah yes,” she recovered smoothly, “My darling is a man of few words. I know he doesn’t mind me speaking for him. It saves him the trouble.”

“Really? That’s it? Because you’ve been talking nonstop for the past, hm,” she glanced at her wrist as though it held a watch, “thirty minutes? Hour? Perhaps it’s because he’s a man of few words. Maybe it’s just because you’re a teensy bit conceited.”

May watched Jessebelle’s face start to change color, lips pursed. Before she could retort, however, a small scoff came from the lavender-haired man. A little, light laugh it seemed came from the beaten-down human before them. May realized then how relieved the sound made her feel. For a moment, things seemed almost normal.

“Sweetheart,” the words were anything but soothing, her hand reached out for his, gently caressing his knuckles. The touch made James stiffen unnaturally. His eyes widened, he swallowed. She could see the regret in his eyes.

That woman terrified him.

Satisfied, Jessebelle took back her hand. Jessie’s eyes only hardened as she looked from him to her and back. She looked like she wanted to say something, but a familiarity to the situation held her tongue. It’s the exact same. May realized, give or take a couple hundred grand.

The awkward silence filled the large dining room. Brock broke it, “Hey, so, Miss Jessebelle?”

Her attention was earned.

“Have you ever heard of any mysterious wells or the like?”

“Mysterious wells? How do you mean?” It seems James’ offense had been forgiven, but he had yet to relax. His eyes were fixated on the plate. He showed no sign of having heard anyone.

“We came across a beautifully decorated one. We’d like to know more about it,” Brock explained.

“It was a blueish color, with a purple roof and gold bricks at its mouth,” offered Max, getting out a notebook from his backpack to draw its shape, “the roof’s shingles had carvings on them of a Pokémon I think. Um… I don’t remember exactly….”

May thought back to the well, trying to imagine the top of it. She had looked at those carvings closely, their uniqueness drawing her in. The image took shape in her mind, “Oh! I remember!”

Max handed her the notebook and she sketched from her mind. Perhaps it would be a little different in reality, but the drawing was good enough she felt. She turned around the notebook so that the couple across from them could get a look.

James slowly glanced up, as though trying to make sure that Jessebelle didn’t see him examining the picture. He tilted his head, and May saw a glint in his eyes. He knows something. “I’ve never seen such an ugly thing in my life,” Jessebelle waved her hand, pushing the notebook away with a flick in the air, “Now put that away. It isn’t proper to draw at the table. If we’re done with our main course, I would love for you to join us in the parlor. My fiancé simply loves to play the piano for guests.”

She stood up, glancing over at Jessie, “Unfortunately, there’s only room for six in the parlor. You are dismissed.”

“Bitch,” she coughed, “I didn’t want to see you treat James like a fucking dancing mankey anyway.”

She grabbed a bread roll, giving the finger before turning, “I’ll get our shit together so when you come back from the circus we can split.”

May watched the woman leave, turning back to see that she wasn’t the only one. James’ face told her that he wanted every bit to go with her. To have the courage to talk to Jessebelle that same way.

“Sweetheart,” the name caused a tremor to shake through James’ body, “Please don’t make me ask you to get up again. Go play the piano, our guests expect the best.”

All he could do was nod, accepting her order. May felt heartbreak in her gut. His walk was too heavy. It looked as though he were an old, frail man- too weak to defend himself. Too beaten to know he was worth defending.

They had to fix this.

* * *

“Guys where’s Jessie?” the question came by the light of the campfire. They hadn’t gone far from the mansion, as per Jessie’s request. But as they settled down for the evening with the bare supplies they had managed, they realized she was missing.

Her few items, however, remained.

Instead of worry, the four decided to wait to see if she was there once more by morning.

Max realized, as he went through his backpack, his notebook was missing a page. The page with the drawing of the well.

* * *

“Knock knock, Rapunzel.”

The voice broke through the otherwise silent room in one of the four towers of the mansion. James found himself turning around quick, eyes wide as he saw a figure sitting in one of the two window sills, “Did they really lock these windows from the outside? Like what the fuck are you, some sort of animal? Geeze. Is that door locked too?”

James’ eyes went towards where Jessie was pointing, the only door in the room. He returned his look to her, and nodded.

“Fuck. And I thought I had it bad. What happens when you gotta piss? Got a pot in the corner or something? Damn,” she let her sneakered shoes touch the inside of the room, “So, wanna go get into some trouble? We can make it back here before they even notice you’re gone.”

He froze as he tried to register what she had just said. She stepped forward, waving her hand in front of his face, “Hey, James, Jimmy, Jim, come on, I’m breaking you out.”

Suddenly, realization seemed to hit. He backed away, shaking his head violently, his eyes went to the door as though terrified his ‘beloved fiancée’ would come through, terrified she’d see this, terrified she’d realize that he wasn’t alone.

“Fine, then I’ll kidnap you. I’ll return you by morning. If they find out, I’ll hold you ransom, okay? It’ll all be because I’m a thug and you come out smelling like a rose. Deal?”

She held out her hand for him to shake. He hesitated longer, “What do you want?”

The words came from a voice that hadn’t been used in who knows how long. But she didn’t let him see the sorrow she held for that. Pity sucked, “Just for you to play by my rules.”

He paused, looking at her hand, then up to study her face. Find her bluff. Find the trick. Her deal was tempting to him; she could tell he had a deep desperation to get out of that building. How long had he been trapped in there? But fear was holding him back. After a moment she saw his eyes narrow with resolve. He had nothing to lose. With a deep breath he reached out, taking her hand, “Deal. How did you find me?”

Her grin was genuine this time. She went to the window, “Don’t ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies. Just follow my steps,” she was already halfway out, starting to let herself down. Before her head dipped below the sill, she looked at the man who seemed to still be caught in a little bit of inner turmoil, but the reasonable side of the turmoil appeared to be losing satisfactorily.

“If I’m the princess then, does that make you a prince?”

“Prince?” her nose scrunched, “Too many rules. How about I’m the handsome rogue? You okay with handsome rogues?”

He feigned thought on the matter before returning with a smile, “I think that’s okay.”

“He does smile!” She let herself return his faked thought with her own acted surprise. “Looks good on you. Now let’s get out of here. We got a lot to do and an itty bitty time to do it!”

#fatethatbinds #{my writings}#{rebloggable}#pokemon fanfiction #team rocket fanfiction #musashi #kojiro #team rocket #pokemon fanfic #((but really I do love Rapunzel like I have so many renditions of the fairy tale #old vhs and old books and such))

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revwinchester · 7 years

Text

Eyes That Know

Summary: The reader is a rock star with heavy addiction issues. Sam is a former rocker who has been to rehab and been sober for a number of years. When the two meet at a party sparks fly and they fall into a romance. After losing one girlfriend to addiction, Sam can’t do it again and makes the reader choose between him and her drugs.

Author: revwinchester

Pairing/Characters: Sam Winchester x Reader, Lucifer, Dean Winchester, Adam Milligan, Jimmy Novak, Ruby, Amelia Richardson

Word Count: 5697, including lyrics (which are italicized throughout)

Warnings: talk and use of soft and hard drugs, implied prostitution, cocaine overdose, major character deaths, mention of minor character death, mental illness - specifically addiction, anxiety, and depression, all the angst. Also, one of the character deaths could be read as suicide - though it’s not intended to be one - and the song lyrics mention the historical suicide of Vincent Van Gogh.

A/N: This ended up being for two challenges and it is the angstiest thing I have ever written. I cried while I wrote it. First, @nichelle-my-belle is hosting Nichelle’s 4K Angst Challenge and my prompt was “if you kill all my demons, my angels might die too.” I was looking for a song to frame the fic when @thing-you-do-with-that-thing announced the SPN Anti-Valentine’s Challenge and I saw one of the prompts was “Josh Groban - Starry Night,” which is a cover of Don McLean’s “Vincent,” a song I absolutely love. You can bet I snapped that one up real quick! Click on each of the links to head to youtube for two different versions of the song. They are so different but each are beautiful in their own right (though, if you’ve never heard it before, I recommend you start with the original).

Your name: submit What is this? // <![CDATA[ function replaceAll(find, replace, str) { return str.replace(new RegExp(find, 'g'), replace); } function myHandler() { var input = document.getElementById("inputTxt").value; document.body.innerHTML = replaceAll('Y/N', document.getElementById("inputTxt").value, document.body.innerHTML); } // ]]>

Eyes That Know -

Starry, starry night Paint your palette blue and gray Look out on a summer's day With eyes that know the darkness in my soul Shadows on the hills Sketch the trees and the daffodils Catch the breeze and the winter chills In colors on the snowy linen land

You spied him across the room at an industry party: Sam Winchester. You had always loved Vessel, the band he had played with, and had been disappointed when he had hung up his bass guitar and let his brothers replace him. You had heard the stories about why he had done all that, of course. How he had gotten addicted to cocaine, been convinced by his older brother to go to rehab, and ultimately decided that he needed to get out of the business if he was going to stay sober. He’d stayed in L.A. in order to be close to his brother, Dean, and his half brother, Adam Milligan, the other two original members of Vessel. If Sam was here, that probably meant his brothers were somewhere nearby, too.

You had just taken a hit and were feeling relaxed and confident as your eyes followed his movements through the room. Soon enough, he looked up, likely feeling someone watching him, and his gorgeous hazel eyes were locked with yours. He quickly finished the conversation in which he was engaged and made his way over to you.

“You’re Y/N,” he declared. “One of Lucifer’s clients?”

“And you’re Sam Winchester,” you replied coolly, despite the fact that you were fangirling inside now that he was standing right in front of you.

Sam tilted his glass toward you in ascent and the two of you fell into easy conversation, turning out the crowd for the rest of the evening. At one point, Sam noticed your hand shaking a bit and asked if you were alright.

“Oh, yeah. Just coming down,” you told him.

Sam’s face fell and you rushed to comfort him. “Nothing hard, I swear. Luc encouraged me to talk to someone about my anxiety and then he helped me get my meds without being spotted by the paparazzi.” It wasn’t a lie, not entirely anyway. You had talked to someone about anxiety, you didn’t do hard drugs, and Lucifer had provided you with what you had taken to deal with your anxiety tonight. You just didn’t mention that you were self medicating.

Sam smiled again. It didn’t quite reach his eyes but you could tell he wanted to believe you and that you’d be able to win him over again. “How about we get out of here and you take me to dinner?” you suggested.

Sam agreed and texted his brother, letting him know he’d be leaving. You tossed him your keys and he gave you a quizzical look. “If you’re taking me out, you’re driving,” you sassed, before turning to walk toward the door, knowing that Sam was following you like an overgrown puppy dog. You led him to your car with him still questioning how you knew he didn’t have a car at the party he needed to get home. “I figure you probably arrived with Dean and Adam since you had to tell one of them you’d be leaving.” You slid into the passenger seat of your Jaguar F-Type, unsure if Sam’s gigantic frame would actually fit now that you were at the car.

He managed to squeeze in, though. As soon as Sam started the convertible, you hit the button to open the top of the car, giving the man all the headroom in the world while he adjusted the seat to accommodate his long legs.

Sam drove you to a diner about 45 minutes outside of Hollywood. It was a bit of a trek but the food was good and the owner was a friend of Dean’s, he told you, so he trusted that there wouldn’t be any leak of your date and the two of you wouldn’t end up surrounded by cameras.

You were seated and ordered quickly before the conversation turned to their music. “So, you switched the music from your iPod to the radio pretty quickly in the car,” Sam began, making you blush.

You had been listening to one of Vessel’s earlier releases, from when Sam was still in the band, on your way to the party and had hoped you’d been quick enough and he hadn’t noticed. No such luck, apparently.

“Well, you knew I was one of Lucifer’s clients so, you’re allowed to know about my career but I can’t be a fan of yours?” You asked cheekily.

Sam laughed. “Of course you can, I just… that was “Family Business,” right? That album was 12 years ago. How old were you then, even?”

“Old enough,” you replied with a wink. And it was true, Sam wasn’t that much older than you but Lucifer had suggested playing up your youth and innocence in order to sell yourself and you had gone along with it. Now that you were about to come out with your third album it was time for your “sexual awakening” or, at least, the sexualization of your brand. You were grateful that you wouldn’t have to play the role of a virginal school girl anymore. While you weren’t quite as risque as Lucifer was pushing the brand, it definitely lined up more with your actual personality than the image you’d been portraying for the past three years. “God, I was so in love with you guys when I was a teenager,” you admitted.

“Oh yeah?” Sam asked, cocking an eyebrow. “Tell me more.”

“Well, I mean, what’s not to love? You’ve got Dean fronting the band with his obvious talent on guitar, that whiskey rough voice, and those entrancing green eyes, not to mention lips that were just made to be kissed. And Adam on drums, so young and innocent but those muscles… mmm… and always looking so serious about everything.” You were making him suffer a little for asking the question and you could see in Sam’s eyes that he knew it. “And then there was that bass player. Don’t get me wrong, Jimmy is great and the band sounds almost as good as ever but that original guy… kind of quiet and mysterious, like you’d expect from a bass player, with gorgeous hair that you just want to run your fingers through before you give it a good tug while he’s kissing his way down your body, and, oh, don’t get me started on those strong, agile fingers…”

Your teasing was definitely having an effect on Sam but just as he made to stand, probably to pull you out of the diner and into a bed, your food arrived. You scooped up your burger and took a bite, some of the juice dripping down your chin before you could wipe it away with a napkin. Sam resettled himself on his side of the table and tucked into his meal, too, the hungry look in his eyes fading slightly as the two of you ate and chatted about less sexually charged things.

When your meals were about half done, you decided to bring up a touchy subject. “So, you seemed pretty crestfallen back there when I mentioned my meds were wearing off,” you pressed gently. “Wanna tell me about that?”

“Oh, uh, that. Yeah,” Sam stuttered, trying to buy himself a little time.

“If you don’t want to, it’s ok, Sam,” you apologized. “I’m sorry I brought it up.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Sam was looking at the table instead of at you as he spoke and you thought he might need that buffer in order to get his story out. “I mean, if you know the band’s history, you know mine. Or, part of it, at least. I was using cocaine, almost killed myself because of it. My girlfriend at the time had introduced me to the stuff and, God, the rush that came along with it… Ruby was, well, she was something else, that’s for sure. Dean kept trying to tell me she was bad for me but I didn’t listen. I thought I was functioning at a level I’d never reached before. But then Ruby got killed in a drug deal gone bad,” Sam’s voice had shifted to a whisper and you reached a hand across the table to grab one of his hands. “Stabbed, actually, in an abandoned church. I was standing right there, saw the whole thing happen and there was nothing I could do to stop it. If Dean hadn’t followed us that night, if he hadn’t been hiding right outside the door and pulled me out of there, I don’t think I would have made it out alive, either.” Sam paused and took a shuddering breath.

“I’m so sorry, Sam. I didn’t realize all that,” you offered. You really hadn’t intended to dredge up memories quite like this.

“No, it’s good,” Sam assured you. “No one ever talks about this side of things, at least, not in specifics, and maybe we should. But, anyway, that’s when Dean finally got me to agree that I needed help. He dropped me off at a rehab program before I had a chance to change my mind. When I got out, I tried to get back into the music world, back on the stage and in the studio, but I realized that the lifestyle pulled me right back to the edge of using again. So, I left. I helped Dean and Adam find Jimmy and left most of that life behind. Obviously, I’m still tangentially connected to all of it but I’ve found a good balance.”

You squeezed his hand to reassure Sam you were still there.

“Thanks,” he said, finally looking up at you again. “Thanks.”

“No, thank you, Sam.” Your voice was sincere. His story had touched you. You weren’t going to end up like Ruby; you’d be smarter.

“Anyway,” Sam continued, “I write now. I wrote most of the music for Vessel before and I still write a lot of their stuff,” he told you. “You, uh, you’ve sung a few of my songs, too; ended up being some of my most popular pieces, recently. So, thanks for that.”

“No way,” you replied. “I’d remember if Sam Winchester had the writing credit on any of my songs.”

“Well, he doesn’t,” Sam laughed. “Only Vessel gets my real name on the credits. You’ve done songs by G. Adreel, though.”

A shy smile spread across Sam’s face as he watched your eyes go wide. “That’s you?” you gushed and he nodded. “You’ve written some of my favorite songs that I’ve recorded!”

The two of you talked about life, careers, and music. You shared some about your own history and Sam told you more about his family. Before either of you realized, it was nearly 4 AM and Sam’s phone dinged with a text alert.

“It’s Dean,” he explained. “He’s wondering if I’m ever coming home.”

It was so clear that Sam loved his brother fiercely and, from his stories, you knew that the sentiment was returned. They hadn’t grown up with Adam but, once they had learned about his existence, they had welcomed him into the fold with open arms. All of that only served to endear the younger Winchester to you even further.

Sam settled the bill and you both started the drive back to LA. Over the coming months, you continued to write and record, paying special attention to any songs that came across your radar that had been written by Mr. Adreel. All the while, your relationship with Sam was growing. You shared a few more weeks of dinners well outside of LA before finally releasing a statement through your publicist and taking your relationship public.

During these months, your manager continued to help you deal with your anxiety, upping the ante with various concoctions before finally convincing you to try cocaine. “It’s going to be like magic,” Lucifer had assured you and he had been right. Your confidence soared and your mind was rife with ideas. You started relying on other writers less and less, preferring to write your own music and, aside from two amazing pieces by G. Adreel that you couldn’t pass up, your third album was full of original songs you had written.

You promised yourself that you would be careful. You only took small amounts just before you sat down to write or backstage immediately before a performance. This wasn’t an addiction; you were in total control. You made the decision to start boosting your confidence before interviews and when the small amounts weren’t giving you the creative jumpstart you needed, you knew it was the right thing to up the dosage. You never used the magic in the hours before you saw Sam. Until once, when you misjudged how long the high would last. You couldn’t go out with him while you were coming down, he’d notice for sure so you made another line of the white powder. Just this once, you told yourself, just to get through this date without Sam finding out.

Now I understand What you tried to say to me How you suffered for your sanity How you tried to set them free They would not listen, They did not know how Perhaps they'll listen now

“You can’t keep doing this, Y/N. You can’t live like this,” Sam told her, tears forming in his eyes. “I can’t go down this road again and I can’t watch you kill yourself. Please go to rehab. I’ll take you; no one will know you’re there. You are such a light, Y/N. Don’t let this win. Please.” He knew he was begging but he didn’t care. He loved this woman but he couldn’t do this again. Not after Ruby. He wouldn’t go down this path again and he couldn’t watch Y/N destroy herself either.

“If you kill all my demons, my angels might die too,” Y/N replied fearfully.

“No, baby, you don’t… You don’t need that crap. Not to perform, not to create. All that beauty is already in you,” Sam rasped, the tears spilling onto his cheeks. He had never seen Y/N this bad. He had known she was using, had helped her through some bad highs and offered to help her beat it. Sam had suggested rehab previously, but she’d always brushed him off, told him that she just needed to finish writing or recording or get through the next tour first and then she’d stop. The date had been continually pushed back and he’d been content to go along with her. But she’d been late for more and more dates and interviews and had recently begun standing him up and skipping jobs all together, sometimes disappearing for a few days at a time without any word or indication that she was alright. To say that Sam was worried about her would be a gross understatement.

“It’s in you, not in this stuff,” Sam insisted, a pit forming in his stomach as he felt his heart break.

“Sam, I…” Y/N began but he interrupted her.

“Please,” Sam begged. “Please.” Even to his own ears, Sam’s voice sounded so broken.

“I… I can’t Sam. I just can’t. Without this I’m nothing.”

The words cut deep. Sam had heard these words before. Hell, he’d said them before. To his brother after Ruby had gotten him hooked on the white powder, but hearing them directed at him, hearing that this relationship, his love for this woman meant nothing compared to the high… he knew it was the addiction talking but he was still gutted by her words.

Sam had been clean for about 8 years now but even so, the allure of the cocaine was there in the back of his mind. He knew he’d never touch the stuff again but he also knew the high, the feeling of power, of being invincible, that he was missing out on. But Y/N was beyond any of that right now. Sam looked at his strung out girlfriend and tried one more time. “Please, Y/N. Come with me; let me get you some help.”

“I don’t need help, Sam,” she snapped, “I need to write.” Her voice was barely a whisper and she was shaking so hard that Sam knew she wouldn’t be writing a thing.

Sam knew what he had to do, he just hoped she’d make it through all of this and get the help she needed. “I can’t do this, Y/N.” His voice was hard and he schooled his face into an expression to match his tone.

Y/N looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “Sammy, no…” she whispered.

He reached down and grabbed the plastic bag of powder that was sitting beside her. “It’s me or this shit, Y/N. You can’t have both.” He knew the ultimatum was harsh but he needed to be clear with her. He’d lost Ruby to this life and he couldn’t watch as Y/N, someone he actually loved, destroyed herself.

He stood for a moment as her eyes darted between his own hazel eyes and the bag of cocaine he had taken from her. Her silence spoke volumes. Sam threw the bag back to the floor in front of her, the cocaine spilling out in a white cloud, before turning on his heel, walking through the door and out of her life.

Starry, starry night Flaming flowers that brightly blaze Swirling clouds in violet haze Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue Colors changing hue Morning fields of amber grain Weathered faces lined in pain Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand

You sat on the floor in your apartment, your back pressed against the couch and tried to scoop up as much of the magic as you could. That’s what this stuff was, magic. Why couldn’t Sam see that? Why couldn’t he remember? Maybe if he’d just try some again, he’d remember… The songs you were able to write when you were filled with the feelings and images… there was no way you could do it without the magic.

You put the meager amount you had been able to collect from the carpet onto the table and picked out some of the longer fibers you had gathered along with it. Looking at the small pile you already knew it wouldn’t be enough. You crawled across the floor to where you had dumped your purse and dug out your cellphone before making your way back across to your spot in front of the couch.

You pulled up your manager’s contact information and pressed the button to dial him. While the phone rang you inhaled the powder you had gathered from the floor, breathing deeply through your nose.

After the third ring, you heard the familiar voice that always promised either a job or a high. “Hey babe, what can I do for you?”

“I need more, Luc,” you breathed into the phone.

“More? Already? I told you that I wouldn’t be able to get you any more for at least a week and that you needed make the magic last.” You could hear the smile in Lucifer’s voice but didn’t pay it any mind.

“Sam was here and…” you began but your manager cut you off.

“He was? Is he back in the fold?” he asked you eagerly. Lucifer had told you multiple times that it was his goal to get Sam back into Vessel. He had managed the band but when Sam left, Luc had been kicked to the curb as well and thought that if he could get Sam to rejoin the family band, he’d get the golden egg back. You had long since realized that, along with Ruby, Lucifer had been the one to supply Sam with cocaine and you suspected that he hoped the way back in was to get Sam hooked again. Until you had come along, Vessel had been his most profitable venture and losing them had been a major blow to his credibility.

“No,” you told your manager, “no. Sam is… Sam is gone.” The words felt wrong on your tongue but the new high was kicking in and you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. “He left. But I’m awesome and now I can fuck whoever I want. But there was… there was an accident, he surprised me and I dropped the bag and it spilled into the carpet. I need to write, Luc, I need it.”

Lucifer muttered something that you couldn’t quite make out but before you could ask about it, he spoke louder. “I think I can get you more but it’s not going to be cheap.”

“Whatever it costs, I can pay it,” you urged. You were one of the most popular musicians currently performing, money was not an issue and you told Lucifer as much.

“It’s not your money I want, Y/N. In fact, I’m positive I can get you more magic than ever before now that Sam isn’t a hangup,” he informed you. “If…” Lucifer trailed off, leaving you to anticipate his next words.

“‘If’ what,” you questioned.

“If you give me your body,” your manager revealed. “Think about it: all the magic you could ever want - all the creativity, the confidence, the power - no charge,” Lucifer teased. “All you have to do is say yes.”

You didn’t hesitate. It wasn’t even a question in your mind, you needed the magic, needed the high, needed to create. “Yes.”

For they could not love you But still your love was true And when no hope was left in sight On that starry, starry night You took your life as lovers often do But I could have told you Vincent This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you

Sam was driving through downtown Lawrence, Kansas, on his way home from work and flipping through the radio stations when a familiar voice caught his attention. It was Y/N’s latest single, a cover of Don McLean’s song “Vincent.” Sam had always loved this song and Y/N’s voice and interpretation definitely did it justice. He hadn’t seen Y/N in about a year. He still thought about her, though; still hoped she’d call him to tell him she’d gotten help. He still loved her, too, probably always would but he had done his best to move on. Even now, listening to her voice singing his favorite song through his car’s speakers, he was on his way to a date with a veterinarian he’d met by chance three months ago.

After he’d left Y/N, he realized that he needed to leave the music business and L.A. behind him completely if he ever truly wanted to get away from his past and his pain over losing her. He’d stopped writing altogether, moved to Kansas, to the city where he had been born, and picked up a job working at a record store while he debated going back to school.

The song ended and the radio show’s hosts began talking. “This was an interesting choice for a first single from her new album but Y/N did an amazing job with this song,” one of the hosts gushed. Sam had to agree with him.

His co-host interrupted him, her voice sad. “It’s also going to be her last single and her fourth record, which released late last month, will be her final album. We’re saddened to report the news that Y/N was found dead in her hotel room this morning, just 12 hours before she was set to kick off her latest tour at Madison Square Garden in New York City. The early reports are saying Y/N accidentally overdosed in her room and died sometime during the night.”

Sam slammed on the breaks, nearly causing an accident. He pulled his car onto the side of the road and frantically thrust the gear shift into park as he numbly listened to the rest of the news report.

“Though she allegedly had a number of recent flings, Y/N was most recently romantically linked to Sam Winchester, formerly of the band Vessel. The pair was reported to have split a year ago. She is, unfortunately, the latest member to join the likes of Jimi Hendrix, Amy Winehouse, and Kurt Cobain in the infamous 27 Club.” The female radio host’s voice was full of emotion as she read off the news bulletin. Though Y/N had likely never met this woman, her music had touched her and the reverence in her tone was clear.

“What is it with the age 27 and musicians?” The woman’s co-host asked. “I feel like 28th birthdays have to be a huge deal in the music world, right?”

Sam flipped off the radio, angry at the man’s flippant tone and knowing he wasn’t going to get any more information from these people. Tears pricked in his eyes unbidden and soon enough they were spilling onto Sam’s cheeks. Sam sat on the side of the road and cried for... he didn’t know how long.

He’d needed to leave, needed to get out of that situation for his own health but maybe he should have stayed a little longer, fought a little harder for Y/N. Maybe he should have dragged her away from that life. Maybe he hadn’t loved her enough. If he had, maybe she’d still be alive. Finally, the ringing of his phone pulled him out of his head. “Hello?” Sam answered, not looking at the caller id before he hit the answer button.

“Sam Winchester, where the hell are you?” It was Amelia and she sounded pissed. Sam couldn’t blame her when he noticed the time. He was an hour late for their date.

“I’m sorry,” Sam replied, trying to keep his voice steady. “I was on my way over and I, uh, got some bad news. Lost track of time.” The excuse was a weak version of the truth but how could he tell her more? He couldn’t tell Amelia that the woman he loved, the woman he’d probably love forever, with whom he had once pictured a future was gone. She knew he had some demons in his past but sharing this and the story that would have to go with it was too much.

“You’re going to need to do better than that, Winchester,” Amelia retorted.

“Someone I… an old friend died,” Sam told her, his voice breaking.

Luckily, Amelia took pity on him. “I’m so sorry, Sam. I’m still here if you still wanted to get dinner. Or I could get some takeout and meet you at your place,” she offered.

“I think I just need to be alone for a little bit, Amelia,” Sam replied truthfully. “Thank you, though.”

After a brief exchange of goodbyes and a promise to reschedule, Sam was back on the road, slowly making his way toward his apartment. He walked through the door and immediately made a beeline for his bedroom, collapsing on the bed fully clothed. Sam took a pillow and pressed it against his face to muffle any sound as he screamed until his throat was raw and his voice was hoarse.

When he finally pulled the pillow away, the clock on his bedside table read 10:00. It would only be 8:00 in LA and Dean would be finished with sound check for Vessel’s show at Purgatory, a club where they would often debut new music. When Sam had left the band, Dean and Adam had searched high and low for a replacement before stumbling across a man named Jimmy completely by accident. He played for all three of the brothers and then Sam listened as he played with Dean and Adam. Jimmy was a perfect fit and he was glad that Dean and Adam would get to continue doing what they loved so much.

Tonight, however, he resented it just a little bit. Sam needed to talk to his brother. Dean had been the one to help him through his own addictions and was the only one Sam trusted who had any idea of what he was going through. But Y/N had been Dean’s friend, too, and he didn’t want to bring his brother that far down right before he had to take the stage. Sam waited until he knew the show would have started and sent Dean a text.

To: Dean Winchester

Call me as soon as the show is over. Don’t care how late it is.

Sam knew sleep wasn’t going to come to him that night so he made his way to the living room, stopping in the kitchen to grab a few beers, and began flipping through the channel. TNT was showing a marathon of Y/N’s favorite show. Something about two brothers who killed the things that go bump in the night and, though he had never enjoyed the stories, Sam found himself getting sucked into the world Y/N had loved so much as tears began to leak from his eyes again.

Starry, starry night Portraits hung in empty halls Frameless heads on nameless walls With eyes that watch the world and can't forget Like the strangers that you've met The ragged men in ragged clothes The silver thorn of bloody rose Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

At Dean’s suggestion, Sam moved back to California. Sam was pretty sure it was because Dean and Adam wanted to be able to keep a closer eye on their brother. They knew he had still loved Y/N, despite having to leave her a year prior, and they were worried what her death might do to him or drive him to. Sam had gone along with the plan without much resistance. Once Amelia had seen him so broken up about an old girlfriend, she realized his heart would never be in their relationship, not fully, so there wasn’t much tying him to Lawrence.

He started writing music again here and there but put most of his focus into trying to end the stigma that surrounded rehab. “People should not be looked down upon for seeking help,” Sam insisted in interview after interview. “I went to rehab, I’m not ashamed of that, and I’m a better person for having gotten the help I needed.”

Inevitably, though, the interviews would then dwell on his own drug use, some hosts and journalists going so far as to insinuate that glorifying rehabilitation programs would glorify drug use. Those were the people that made Sam see red but he learned how to handle that line of thought with as much grace as he could muster. “That time in my life isn’t one that I look back on fondly. There are no happy memories associated with my addiction, if that’s what you’re implying.” Sam would subtly call out the interviewers for their intolerance.

Sam reached out to people in the entertainment business who he knew had struggled with addiction in the past, hoping to find allies for his cause. “More stories should end like mine, like yours,” he would tell them and, ultimately, they all agreed with that sentiment. None of them joined his crusade, though. For some, contracts and royalties were contingent on them not talking about their past drug use. For others, brands had been built around their innocence and one wrong word could send that crashing down. Sam was forced to sign more non-disclosure agreements than he could count to even get meetings with some of these people.

Sam was alone in this and, at first, he was undeterred. He had the support of his brothers, who were willing to speak to their part in Sam’s story, and that would have to be enough to get this campaign off the ground. Except, it wasn’t. Sam tried to push forward. He knew it could be successful if he could get even one person to talk about it… Eventually, however, he was just tired and beaten down.

Y/N had been gone for three years, now, and she was all but forgotten by the general population. Sure, some would remember her when one of her songs came on the radio but that was rare these days. Her death had been what spurred the conversation for the first few months but now, Sam was seen as “that former addict who quit music because he couldn’t handle the pressure and now he’s got a bone to pick with the industry,” or, that’s how the news outlets were starting to describe him, anyway.

So he stopped. He stopped talking, stopped advocating, and, ultimately, stopped feeling.

Now I think I know What you tried to say to me How you suffered for your sanity How you tried to set them free They did not listen they're not listening still Perhaps they never will

You watched Sam from above, watching as each person turned him away. Sure, they were grateful for the programs that had helped them, they would tell him, but the conversation always ended the same way: “but I can’t tell anyone that.” Though you didn’t expect anything different, it still broke your heart every time. But Sam was resilient and tenacious. Until he wasn’t.

You watched as his work slowly fizzled out and Sam sank into depression. You watched as he stopped sleeping and barely ate anything. You watched as Dean and Adam tried to convince him to eat and then tried to bully him into it; the same with sleep. But you could feel that Sam had no appetite and, despite his exhaustion, you could feel how sleep eluded him. He was hospitalized; you could see how his body was shutting down and you were worried for him.

Then one day, you couldn’t feel his hunger or his weariness anymore. Instead, there was a sense of peace and joy and those emotions comforted you. Then there was a hand on your shoulder and you turned from your vantage point, from where you had watched Sam from heaven.

“You’re early,” you told him through tears.

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