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#Constantly updating so please check back
kakusu-shipping · 8 months
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Emile Hides - He/She
Agender - Gendercute - Fray/Panromantic - Asexual - Polyam
24 years old
Autistic - OCD - URAD - Anxiety
Age Regressor - Permakid - Age Locked
Proship - Self Ship - Fudanshi
Art Tag: Emile’s Arts
Writing Tag: Emile’s Writing
Edit Tag: Emile's Edits
This is my Ship and Let Ship blog where I post about ships I like, Self Ship as loudly as possible, write X Readers curated to me and me alone, and ramble about my F/Os in the tags of other people’s posts.
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Full F/O list under the cut (Very Long)
Romantic F/Os
Koro-Sensei - Assassination Classroom
Toshinori Yagi (All Might) - My Hero Academia
Nezu - My Hero Academia
Mashirao Ojiro + Neito Monoma + Hitoshi Shinso - My Hero Academia
Taishiro Toyomitsu (Fatgum) + Kendo Rappa - My Hero Academia
Atsuhiro Sako (Mr. Compress) + Jin Bubaigawa (Twice) - My Hero Academia
All For One - My Hero Academia
Makarov Dreyar - Fairy Tail
Toma E. Fiore + Mako - Fairy Tail
Jackpot - Fairy Tail/OC
Zanoba Shirone - Jobless Reincarnation
Leuvis - The Promised Neverland
Kyube - Madoka Magica
Isaac - Castlevania
Ginko - Mushishi
Takashi Morinozuka - Ouran Highschool Host Club
Tetsuo Takahashi - Interviews with Monster Girls
Kometani Chushaku + Naruse Shisuto - Komi Can't Communicate
Shouko Kirishima + Yuuji Sakamoto - Baka and Test
Masato Hanzawa - Sasaki and Miyano/Hirano and Kagiura
Gonzaburo Taishiro - Sasaki and Miyano/Hirano and Kagiura
Franky Franklin - Spy X Family
Riri - Romantic Killer
Junta Hayami - Romantic Killer
Harunobu Nikaidou - March comes in like a Lion
Otsu + Minegishi - Manly Appetites
Muta - The Cat Returns
Scorpia - She-Ra
Bismuth + Peridot + Lapis - Steven Universe
Eda Clawthorn + Raine Whispers - The Owl House
Hieronymus Bump - The Owl House
Phillip Wittebane - The Owl House
Good Billions + Bad Billions - Kipo and the age of the Wonderbeasts
Tad Mullholand - Kipo and the age of the Wonderbeasts
Alfur - Hilda
Big Macintosh - My Little Pony
Ruby Gloom + Skull Boy - Ruby Gloom
The Snork - Moominvalley 2019
Lynn Angel + Nick Hoult - All Saints Street
Teddy - Bob's Burgers
Sisu - Raya and the Last Dragon
Zack Binspin - Moshi Monsters
Allhands - Drawga
Gyorik Rogdul + Grendan Highforge + Rosé - Drawtectives
James - Pokemon Anime
N - Pokemon Black/White
Drayden - Pokemon Black/White
Lillie - Pokemon Sun/Moon
Molayne + Sophocles - Pokemon Sun/Moon
Guzma - Pokemon Masters
Milo + Gordie - Pokemon Sword/Shield
Clavell - Pokemon Scarlet/Violet
Jacq + Saguaro + Salvatore + Hassel - Pokemon Scarlet/Violet
Kieran + Drayton - Pokemon Scarlet/Violet
Hydreigon - Pokemon Black/White2
Chesnaught - Pokemon XY
Inteleon - Pokemon Sword/Shield
Armarouge (Charlos) - Pokemon Scarlet/Violet
Bloodmoon Ursaluna - Pokemon Scarlet/Violet
Heracross - Monster Mind
Smeargle + Kecleon - Monster Mind
Mario + Luigi - Super Mario
C.Q. Cumber - Splatoon 2
Mr. Grizz - Splatoon 3
Jel La Fleur - Splatoon 3
Isabelle + Tom Nook + Redd + Brewster - Animal Crossing
Papyrus - Undertale
Vulkin - Undertale
Spamton - Deltarune
Swatchlings - Deltarune
Viktor Humphries - Slime Rancher
Dick Gumshoe - Ace Attorney
Raymond Sheilds - Ace Attorney
Phineas Flilch - Ace Attorney
Hifumi Yamada + Celestia Ludenburgh - Danganronpa 1
Teruteru Hanamura - Danganronpa 2
Toko Fukawa + Genocide Jack - Danganronpa UDG
Ryoma Hoshi + Gonta Gokuhara - Danganronpa V3
Monokuma - Danganronpa series
Shirokuma - Danganronpa series
Kyle Klim (K) + Luna - Virtue's Last Reward
GTM-CM-G-OLM - Virtue's Last Reward
Kazuaki Nanaki + Hitori Uzune - Hatoful Boyfriend
The King - Hatoful Boyfriend
Zenyatta - Overwatch
Ramattra - Overwatch
B.O.B. + Bars - Overwatch
Maximillien - Overwatch
Lynx17 - Overwatch
Iggy - Overwatch
Toy Freddy + Funtime Freddy - Five Nights at Freddy's AU
Nightmare Fredbear - Five Nights at Freddy's 4
Sun - Five Nights at Freddy's Security Breach
Leshy - Inscryption
Magnificus - Inscryption
Theodore DaCabe (The New Prince) - Chzo Mythos
Anna (The Huntress) - Dead by Daylight
Al-An - Subnautica Below Zero
Mae Borowski - Night in the Woods
Candyman - Lethal League
Gabocha - Suikoden 2
Richmond - Suikoden 2
Neclord - Suikoden 2
Luca Blight - Suikoden 2
Andras - Hell's Library
Jill Wolcott - Wayward Children
Reed + Leigh - Middlegame
Queerplatonics/Metamours
Aguri Yukimura - Assassination Classroom - Queerplatonic
Mei Hatsume - My Hero Academia - Queerplatonic
Rikiya Yostubashi (ReDestro) - My Hero Academia - Queerplatonic
Reedus Jonah - Fairy Tail - Queerplatonic
Pantherlily - Fairy Tail - Queerplatonic
Peridot - Steven Universe - Queerplatonic
Nemona - Pokemon Scarlet/Violet - Queerplatonic
Raifort - Pokemon Scarlet/Violet - Queerplatonic
Bowser - Super Mario - Queerplatonic
Cobb - Animal Crossing - Queerplatonic
Genocider Syo (Genocide Jack/Jill) - Danganronpa UDG - Queerplatonic
Winston - Overwatch - Queerplatonic
Goobert - Inscryption - Queerplatonic
Neito Monoma + Hitoshi Shinso - My Hero Academia - Metamours
Naruse Shisuto - Komi Can't Communicate - Metamour
Minegishi - Manly Appetites - Metamour
Baron Humbert Gon Gikkingen - The Cat Returns - Metamour
Lapis Lazuli - Steven Universe - Metamour
Nick Hoult - All Saints Street - Metamour
Brassius - Pokemon Scarlet/Violet - Metamour
Princess Peach + Princess Daisy + Prince Peasely - Super Mario - Metamours
Shuu Iwamine - Hatoful Boyfriend - Metamour
Abra - Monster Mind - Friends with Benefits
Grovyle - Monster Mind - Friends with Benefits
Buizel - Monster Mind - Friends with Benefits
Rhydon - Monster Mind - Friends with Benefits
Sandslash - Monster Mind - Friends with Benefits
Lucario - Monster Mind - Friends with Benefits
Drayden - Pokemon Black/White - Trainer
Wilkstrom - Pokemon X/Y - Trainer
Salvatore - Pokemon Scarlet/Violet - Trainer
Shiintonic - Pokemon Anime - Partner
Stoutland (Rusty) - Pokemon Black/White2 - Partner
Mincinno (Nezu) - Pokemon Sword/Shield - Partner
Armarouge (Charlos) - Pokemon Scarlet/Violet - Partner
Koraidon - Pokemon Scarlet - Partner
Ogerpon (Clementine) - Pokemon Scarlet/Violet - Partner
Weavile - Pokemon - Partner
Familials
Heatran + Entei - Pokemon - Parents
Marlo + Dora - Animal Crossing - Parents
Ginko + Adashino - Mushishi - Parents
Tony Mario - Mario Movie - Father
Mr. Grizz - Splatoon 3 - Father
William Afton - FNaF Series - Father
Ridley Wizen - Suikoden 2 - Father
Frank Columbo - Columbo - Father
Opal - Pokemon Sword/Shield - Mother
Briar - Pokemon Scarlet/Violet - Mother
Beware - Pokemon Anime - Mother
Toriel - Undertale - Mother
Reaper Leviathan - Subnautica - Mother
Alder - Pokemon Black/White - Parental Figure
Toadsworth - Super Mario - Parental Figure
Mondatta - Overwatch - Parental Figure
Nezu - My Hero Academia - Parental Figure
Clavell - Pokemon Scarlet/Violet - Grandfather
Rizzo - Animal Crossing - Grandfather
Craig Cuttlefish - Splatoon - Grandfather
Kaoru Toudou - Baka and Test - Grandmother
Elvin Gadd - Super Mario - Uncle
Drayden - Pokemon Black/White - Uncle
Petri - Animal Crossing - Aunt
Elizabeth Afton - FNaF Series - Big Sister
Mitsuki Bakugo - My Hero Academia - Big Sister
Sekijiro Kan - My Hero Academia - Big Brother
Boris Wizen - Suikoden 2 - Big Brother
Micheal Afton - FNaF Series - Big Brother
Molayne - Pokemon Sun/Moon - Big Brother
Jelonzo - Splatoon - Big Brother
James Ratari - The Promised Neverland - Big Brother
Peter Ratari - The Promised Neverland - Little Brother
Victini - Pokemon Black/White - Little Brother
Arven - Pokemon Scarlet/Violet - Little Brother
Mirai Sasaki (Sir Nighteye) - My Hero Academia - Twin Brother
Kyoya Ootori - Ouran Highschool Host Club - Found Sibling
Cyrus - Pokemon Platinum - Found Sibling
Genji Shimada - Overwatch - Found Sibling
Ramattra - Overwatch - Found Sibling
Micheal Bleak - Wayward Children - Found Sibling
Mario + Luigi - Super Mario - Cousins
Ingo + Emmet - Pokemon Black/White - Cousins
Callie + Marie - Splatoon - Cousins
Sophocles - Pokemon Sun/Moon - Cousin
Samson - Animal Crossing - Cousin
Ira Blood - All Saints Street - Cousin
Cosmog (Nebby) - Pokemon Sun/Moon - Daughter
Amy Rose - Sonic Series - Daughter
Berdly - Deltarune - Daughter
Akito Sohma - Fruits Basket - Daughter
Julie - Jobless Reincarnation - Daughter
Jack + Jill Wolcott - Wayward Children - Daughters
Bede + Allister - Pokemon Sword/Shield - Sons
Pecharunt (Momotaro) - Pokemon Scarlet/Violet - Son
Rabbid Luigi (Louis) - Mario + Rabbids - Son
Espio - Sonic Series - Son
Neito Monoma - My Hero Academia - Son
Inasa Yoarashi - My Hero Academia - Son
Ichiban Natsuno - Mix; Meisei Story - Son
Black Hat - Villainous - Son
The Collector - The Owl House - Son
Hastur - The Baby in Yellow - Son
Sam - Trick R' Treat - Child
Luz + King + Hunter - Kids
Bowser Jr. + Koopalings - Super Mario - Kids
The Lab Kids - Animal Crossing - Kids
Boss Salmonids - Splatoon 3 - Kids
Warriors of Hope - Danganronpa UDG - Kids
The Monokubs - Danganronpa V3 - Kids
Rosalina - Super Mario - Niece
Sonic + Tails - Sonic Series - Nephews
Jelfonzo - Splatoon - Nephew
Katsuki Bakugo - My Hero Academia - Nephew
Snufkin - Moominvalley 2019 - Nephew
Laxus Dreyar - Fairy Tail - Grandson
505 - Villainous - Grandson
Zanoba Shirone - Jobless Reincarnation - Student
The Squidbeak Splatoon - Splatoon - Family
Danganronpa V3 Cast - Danganronpa UDG - Family
The Fairy Tail Guild - Fairy Tail - Family
Class 3-E - Assassination Classroom - Family
Fatfam - My Hero Academia - Family
League of Villains - My Hero Academia - Family
The Sohmas - Fruits Basket - Family
The Evil Slasher Orphanage - Various - Family
Besties
Toshimitsu Kubo - Baka and Test
Irina Jelavic + Tadaomi Karasuma - Assassination Classroom
UA Teachers - My Hero Academia
Lucy's Celestial Spirits - Fairy Tail
Samuel - Fairy Tail
Yuuko Ichihara + Kimihiro Watanuki + Shizuka Domeki - XXXHolic
The Host Club - Ouran Highschool Host Club
Ritsu Sohma - Fruits Basket
Makoto Katai - Komi Can't Communicate
Miyano Yoshikazu + Sasaki Shuumei - Sasaki and Miyano
Hanazawa Masato - Sasaki and Miyano
Entrapta + Hordak - She-Ra
Grime + Sasha - Amphibia
Iris + Misery + Frank and Len - Ruby Gloom
The Joxter - Moominvalley
Flug Syls - Villainous
Jessie + Meowth + Wobbuffet - Pokemon Anime
Cheren + Bianca - Pokemon Black/White
Hau + Gladion - Pokemon Sun/Moon
Dendra + Miriam - Pokemon Scarlet/Violet
Team Star - Pokemon Scarlet/Violet
The Leauge Club - Pokemon Scarlet/Violet
Grimer - Monster Mind
Elvin Gadd - Super Mario
Metal Mario + Gooigi - Super Mario AU
Doctor Mario + Mr. L - Super Mario AU
Pearl + Marina - Splatoon
Spyke - Splatoon
The Mad Scientist Team - Animal Crossing
Chara - Undertale
Kris - Deltarune
Chihiro Fujisaki + Kiyotaka Ishimaru + Mondo Owada - Danganronpa 1
Kazuichi Soda - Danganropa 2
Ultimate Imposter + Ryoma Mitarai - Danganronpa 3
Hiroko Hagakura + Yuta Asahina + Taichi Fujisaki - Danganronpa UDG
The Nightmare Animatronics - Five Nights at Freddy's 4
Bonbon - Five Nights at Freddy's; Sister Location
Moon - Five Nights at Freddy's; Security Breach
Helpi - Five Nights at Freddy's; Security Breach RUIN
Huggy Wuggy + Mommy Long Legs - Poppy Playtime
Jamison Fawks (Junkrat) + Mako Rutledge (Roadhog) - Overwatch
Younster Squad (All heroes in their early 20's) - Overwatch
Team Talon - Overwatch
Gregg Lee + Angus Delaney - Night in the Woods
Nina - Suikoden 2
Klaus Windmier + Sierra Mikain - Suikoden 2
Claire + Brevity + Hero + Ramiel - Hell's Library
Thankyou very much for Reading
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Crush List - Fictonal Foe List - Agere List - Ship Lists - Kin List - Koro-Sensei's F/O List
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jojissalsa · 6 months
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husband!leon drabble
hear me out, cause i have an idea :3 (yes this is a drabble but also kinda long...)
cw: housewife kink, very slight condescension, praise, oral, breeding kink, ya get the gist. (minors do not interact, go touch grass.)
i cannot get my mind off husband!leon, like... at all, i feel like he'd love to pamper you. you need your hair trimmed? when and where. going somewhere special? he'll immediately take you shopping. his favorite is when you wanna get your nails done, he'll just hand you that sleek black credit card. i mean, it's not like he doesn't have the money. he has to deal with the worst horrors this shitty world could conjure up, so all he wants at the end of the day is to see your pretty smile.
it's all he can think about at work. everyone notices how distracted he seems, constantly checking his phone for possible pictures or any kind of update. he's so glad he doesn't have much work to do that day, so he can be home before you. and when you finally unlock the door he has to stop himself from running to you like an excited dog happy to see his owner.
and you know he's excited, as much as he tries to hide it as you walk over to the couch where he's sitting, plopping down right next to him and nuzzling into his side. "you like 'em?" you hold out your hand, a smug smirk on your face as he takes your hand. "it's pretty.." he whispers in awe, a loving expression on your face. usually he's the type to wanna lay on your chest, having your nails graze his scalp so he can finally relax. he knows you love it too, like he's a big lap dog you can watch movies with.
he feels a lil different tonight though, maybe he's just pent up, but all he can think about is your pretty, delicate hand wrapped around his cock, your lipstick smeared around your mouth and making rings on the length of his cock. and you know he's thinking about something, because he moves his hand up yours before grabbing your wrist and pressing your palm against his cock.
"feel that? that's what you do to me, so damn sweet. you and that needy cunt is all i can think about. c'mere, wanna see those pretty hands jerk me off." you don't waste any time moving your head into his lap as he pulls down his sweats, your hands finding their place at the base of his cock and cupping his balls, your tongue already lapping at his tip, savoring the taste of his pre-cum. he looks so fucking hot like this, legs spread, arm resting on the back of the couch while his hand moves down your back and under your leggings, determined to feel more of you. you're always such a good girl when you sink your mouth lower on his cock, tip hitting the back of your throat which makes his hips buck and his head tilt back as he groans.
"i got so lucky, pretty wife that knows how to suck dick. so eager for me to touch you, huh? need my fingers to fill up that tight pussy, don't you, honey? can't answer with a mouthful of cock, can you?" leon can never help himself, he has to be a little smug, because he landed such a hot piece of ass and he's more than confident about you belonging to him completely. how you stop everything you're doing to please him. how can he not pay back the favor? he pulls your leggings down to your thighs along with your panties, coating his fingers in your slick before slipping his fingers inside your welcoming pussy. you clench around his thick fingers when you feel the cold metal of his wedding band, and it only makes him smile wider.
like i said, he really does love to pamper you. make you feel pretty all the time, because you are. you may not think you are all the time, but he sure as shit does. pretty enough to carry his baby, too. "such a pretty girl, you'd look even more beautiful with my baby inside you." you whimper around his cock, pulling your head up to stroke him so you can catch your breath. "like that one, hmm? you always walk around looking like a fucking milf, so damn sexy with those tight jeans and cute heels i buy for you." you knew he was a family man, wanted at least two kids, but damn he did not have to make the idea sound that fucking hot.
and you let him, he could give you a whole bloodline and you'd do it with a smile. letting him fuck his huge load of cum into your tight cunt, those pretty nails digging into his back as your legs keep him pumping his cum inside you. "atta girl, can't wait to see that pregnancy test. gonna keep you here and take good care of you, promise." he lets you come back down to reality as he leans up, getting a good view of your blissed out smile, humming contently as you look up at him. "you won't have to lift a single finger with me around, trust me."
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sunsetsimon · 7 months
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a couple of dad!simon headcanons ♡
- hello! i'm sun, and this is my new writing account! i haven't written properly in years, so please go easy on me!
simon “ghost” riley x fem!reader
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☼ simon never imagined having a family of his own. even after the first few years of being together, the thought never crossed his mind. until your best friend had a baby...
your best friend was visiting with her newborn and seeing you holding the baby flipped a switch in his head. you smiled and cooed at him, causing the baby to flash a toothless smile. there was a twinkle in your eye that he hadn’t noticed before and he pictured you glowing so beautifully as you held your own daughter, a mini version of you and him all in one. he didn’t bring it up for weeks as he thought it through himself. was having a family even possible for him? was he just being selfish?
☼ it comes up one day after you notice he’d been unusually quiet while spending time together. he wasn’t the most talkative, but he enjoyed conversations with you, even joking here and there.
“is everything okay, si? you’ve been extra quiet today.”
“hmm, yeah. just been zoning off.” he shrugs, unsure how to approach the subject. he knows you would listen but he doesn’t know how he’d react if your answer was no.
deciding rejection is better than never knowing, he sharply inhales, “have you ever thought about having children?”
the question throws you off, certainly random for a guy who doesn’t speak much of the future. you sit for a second debating your answer, and simon’s chest clenches in anxious anticipation.
“i have a few times, nothing too serious though. it never seems like there’s a good time for us.”
he nods in agreement, “been thinking about it these days. maybe it’s something we can consider.”
☼ needless to say, you both decide after many conversations and more time, that expanding your family is something you’re open to. you stop your contraception soon after and begin trying. he becomes even more attentive, constantly checking in with you and doing plenty of research on how to make your pregnancy easy. he gets you anything you want - whenever you want. and back and foot massages become part of your everyday routine.
☼ recognizes that he won't always be around because of his extremely demanding work. he checks in whenever he can, even writing letters if he has to. it breaks his heart having to miss doctor appointments and weekly milestones with you, but you always know he tries his absolute best for you two.
☼ simon loves skin to skin contact for the first few months. he loves to lay with her against his chest and drift off to the tv while you take a quick shower. he finds himself just watching her a lot, trying to memorize every movement her tiny body makes.
☼ soooo protective. no kisses, no pets, no sick people, doesn’t allow anything that could be of risk near her. he always has the two of you in his sight, preferring to push the stroller as you walk on the side of him.
☼ he's not one to care for style, so you do the main planning for the nursery. he builds all of the furniture for you while you watch. he looks so hot in his grey sweats and a black t-shirt that you can't help but distract him a few times.
☼ it's a hard adjustment for him having to return for a mission after she's born. he spends his entire last day holding and watching her, a sad slouch in his shoulders.
"gonna miss you so much, darlin. i'll be back as soon as i can," he whispers, gently kissing her forehead before handing her back to you. simon's hands grip your waist, pulling you in close to kiss you deeply before resting his forehead against yours. "i need my girls to stay safe. ill update you when i can, dove."
whenever he can, he scrolls though his videos on his phone just to see her face. her eyes twinkle brighter than any star to him and a slight smile creeps under his mask.
☼ relieves you from baby care when he can tell you’re exhausted. sighing and pulling yourself out of bed when crying erupts through the baby monitor. he doesn’t get up at first, but when the crying continues for a minute, he comes to check on you. he pushes the door cracked door open, revealing you desperately hushing and bouncing her in your arms. your eyes are tired and heavy, wishing for a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.
“i got ‘er. go back to bed love,” simon says, taking his baby girl into his arms.
you give him a weak smile and a thankful squeeze at his arm, walking straight to bed without another peep. he holds her close to his chest as he sits down in the chair, propping her neck up as he stares down at her. her eye color matches his, but she resembles you more and more everyday. he’s enamored by her, his beautiful little girl that he created with the love of his life.
she quiets down shortly, falling back asleep in his arms as he rocks her slowly. his own eyes grow heavy, and he sets her down in her crib before returning back to bed. he climbs in behind you, pulling your back to his chest and planting a soft kiss on the side of your neck.
“if she wakes up again i’ll take care of it. you just sleep darling,” simon whispers, receiving a hum in response from you as you snuggle into him.
he takes care of his girls so well.
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januaryembrs · 2 months
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THERE'S NO SIGN OF LIFE | Spencer Reid x Prentiss!Reader [3]
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Description: The one where you grieve Emily together (+ the one where you kiss him)
word count: 7.9k
trigger warnings: okay so this chapter is exactly how it sounds, heavy in themes of grief, depression, anger, slight ideation of the world being better without bugsy (as if), DRUG USE (once and not addictively and not by Spencer!), mention of Spencer being horny, mention on blood and drinking.
authors note: this was just supposed to be a little filler chapter for the next one where the real juicy shit happens and long story short it became nearly 8k words of pure angst until the last minute when I decided to stop hurting you all. please don't hate me, promise a big boy chapter is coming up.
previous chpt | next chpt
'Doctor, look into my eyes.
I've been breathing air, but there's no sign of life.'
The team had fallen into chaos since Emily died. Hotch thought that just five little stages of grief weren’t quite enough to summarise what they were going through.
Morgan was pissed off by the smallest things, had flipped shit just that morning because the printer had jammed. He'd gone through two mugs and a keyboard in just two weeks in his tempers that had certainly seen better days.
Penelope’s eyes gleamed with unshed tears she was trying her hardest to choke down, to wipe away so fast she could pretend to still see her computer screen, but Hotch didn’t need to be a profiler to see the way her sleeves were smudged with mascara, sodden through 24/7. 
Rossi seemed resigned, tired, his breath smelled faintly of the strong whiskey he saved for special occasions, his hair unkempt, as though he hadn’t slept until the early hours, or if he had it had been unrestful. He took more frequent breaks, came back smelling like the cigars he kept in his desk drawer for the bad days, and he sighed as if the world beat down on his back, like he’d been asked to choose between stopping world hunger or saving the environment. His chest was heavy. His face was tired of losing so many friends he loved.  
Spencer was working himself to the bone, his desk piled with books (even more so than usual), his fingers twitching by his side more often, as if his brain cells had been dialled up to a thousand percent, which was saying something when it came to Reid. In fact the only thing out of ordinary was the fact he was constantly checking his phone, the sight of which had Pen dropping her coffee on the rough carpet, which she had promptly then excused herself with watery eyes over. Yes, he actually knew how to use technology, which he had been so vehemently against for years, until the team realised it was because one very important member of the team had been using her sick days for three weeks now. 
They knew he was looking after her, that he would bring her dinner and make sure the cats were fed, but they had no idea she had all but moved in with him, Niko and Sergio included. 
Yet he found himself checking the screen every twenty minutes or so for signs of an update, even just a thumbs up or a little sign that said seen under his good morning texts. He was scared he’d wandered too far into boyfriend territory, it certainly felt that way when he would come home to see her bundled on the couch, nose deep in one of the books he would leave out for her, how her eyes would light up just the tiniest amount to see him home. She rarely cooked, he knew she didn’t even touch the food in his fridge no matter how much he reminded her she needed to eat when he wasn’t there, to which she usually just nodded at him and buried her head in his arm to escape the scoldings. 
Things were different with her here. He knew she was vulnerable, lost, he saw it every time she came crawling into his bed from where he’d set her up in the spare room, or when Sergio made himself home on her lap and she squeezed the cat to her chest in quiet tears. Usually he would have squirmed out of her grip, he had always preferred Emily, but these days he just let her sob with a docile blink at where Spencer watched her from the other end of the couch, and pretended not to notice when his fur was sodden and messed up. 
Spencer had felt something for her before, the weeks, months even leading up to Emily dying, but with her here, needing him all the time, holding him tightly when he needed to grieve himself, making herself at home in his personal space, he was sure she knew it too. There was no way she didn’t know how he felt. 
But the topic was too heavy, too complex to bring up with her mourning her sister, it would rip the carpet out from beneath her feet, and no matter how heavily, besottedly, how deeply Spencer felt he loved her, he would never do that to her. He couldn’t. 
He had always loved mind games, but loving someone so much you couldn’t not tell them, only to not tell them because you loved them so much felt like a whole paradox even he couldn’t wrap his big brain around. 
So they stayed where they were. She had good days, though they usually looked like said reading on the sofa with nothing but a strong cup of coffee in her stomach. And then she had bad ones. And the bad ones made him scared, so scared he had no choice but to get help. 
Penelope came over the Friday evening with Spencer after work, kitted out entirely with nail polishes and gems, the box set of Barbie movies, a hot chocolate mix she swore by, three tubs of ice cream, face masks, Teen vogue with a Never have I ever section ‘Begging to be answered’ and of course, her Pièce de résistance, her makeup kit and joke fluffy handcuffs for them to tie down Reid and give him a makeover. 
“Hello my handsome gentlemen,” She greeted Niko and Sergio who rushed to the door on instinct, knowing Spencer always gave them each a big handful of treats upon arriving home, “Auntie Penny is here for a super girly evening, no boys allowed,” 
“Am I not invited?” Spencer asked, faux hurt flashing on his face as he shut the door behind them, though his eyes were quick to scan around his living room for any sign of her. There wasn’t, not even a single pillow was out of place, and he knew it had been another day of skipped lunch and breakfast.
“You are, of course you are, I just didn’t want them to get jealous,” She whispered, her brown eyes taking in the too perfect apartment and the lack of the Prentiss girl, “Is she sleeping?”
“No,” He said without checking, because he knew she rarely slept nowadays unless she was in his bed with him, “I’ll go get her,” 
“Okay,” Some of the joy died out of her tone when she heard his voice soften sadly as she set her bags down on the kitchen counter, “I’ll get the hot chocolates ready!” Penelope tried to recover in that perky tone she used to cover up when something hurt her. 
He just hoped this had been the right decision, that he wasn’t pushing her too hard. 
Knocking softly on her door, he let himself in when he heard a small murmur on the other side, and as he suspected, she was curled into a small ball under one of his blankets, her hair wet, her pyjamas in the laundry basket. She had one of his shirts on and some boxers he had noticed had gone missing, but he would never hold it against her. 
She had showered while he was gone at least, and her breath was minty fresh as he crept over the woolly rug and kneeled one leg on the bedside. 
“Hey,” He started softly, sweeter than honey, his cadence somewhat hopeful as he leaned over her and stroked her hair that was still damp. “You got up! Did you eat anything?” 
She looked up at him with tired eyes, but she reached out with both her arms to embrace him gently, like she’d been waiting all day to have him near again. 
“I had a couple biscuits and some coffee,” Her voice was raspy, and it was the first he’d heard her speak in a few days. “I’ll try better tomorrow, I just was a bit tired today-”
“No, no, that’s great,” He rushed to comfort her, to stop the apology that was coming his way whenever she didn’t take care of herself the way he wanted her to, “Penny’s here to see you. She’s here for a girl’s night, if that’s okay?”
Bugsy attempted a smile, though she seemed hesitant, but he thought that was probably just the way her expression was these days, like everything hopeful had been sucked out of her. 
“I’ve missed Penny,” She said, and he knew she meant it. She nodded finally, and he leaned over her to give her a proper hug for putting on a brave face, feeling her nuzzle into his chest at the contact. She sniffed the air for a second, before whispering into his ear, “Is that chocolate?”
He chuckled, stroking down her back and pulling her up into a sit. He’d gotten used to her being pliant under his touch, and he only wished her being so receptive to his advances would be under other circumstances. 
The urge to grab her face and kiss every bit of hurt out of her was growing harder and harder to shove down with every day he saw her so soft and wounded. He wasn’t good at knowing what to say, but for her, he was trying to be. The only alternative was kissing her silly, until the pit she’d crawled into was warm, just warm all over, and she came back to him in one piece. 
“Yes, it’s chocolate. Now come on, before she starts the movie without us,” He breathed gently, helping her out of bed, pretending he didn’t hear the way her joints cracked with the first sign of movement in hours. “Wait a second, pants,” He reminded her, tossing her some sweatpants from the floor, which she shoved on blindly. He didn’t mind her walking around like that if it meant she were comfortable, but he didn’t want her to give Pen a scare. 
A ghost of a smile teased on her lips as he led her out the room with two hands on her shoulders, seeing the blonde woman light up like the fourth of July at the sound of the two of them approaching. 
“Bug!” Penelope called, mid way through distributing a hefty amount of whipped cream and marshmallows on top of three mugs. Spencer watched the second her eyes widened slightly as she took in the girl’s appearance, trying frantically to cover it with an even wider smile, rushing to hug her tightly. He saw the minute she realised she felt so different in her arms; lifeless, heavy, rooted to the spot, like any contact with someone other than the gentle Spencer-touches she was used to made her lock up. 
She looked sick, like she hadn’t known fresh air in weeks, or like she’d pulled three all nighters in a row, or like she would be able to watch a ten car pile up and not bat an eye. She looked dead. She felt dead in Penny’s arms. 
The thought of it made her squeeze her tighter, until she felt two arms cuddle her back firmly. 
“I see Spencer has been treating you well,” Pen said, because she was avoiding the subject of Emily, and the way Bugsy looked exhausted, and the way she saw how scared Spencer was when he’d come into ‘the bat cave’ that afternoon to ask for her help. 
Bugsy attempted another smile, nodding slightly as the blonde drew back from their hug, and she saw the worry she tried so desperately to hide as she took in her face. 
The girl’s skin was dull in a way they’d never seen her before, her expression tired, her bones creaky, like someone had reached down her gullet and plucked her soul right from out of her chest, snatched it there and then. Penelope saw why Spencer looked so worried. 
“He’s been great,” Bugsy replied simply, her eyes finding Spencer’s where he shadowed behind her, worried she would faint on the spot from all the movement. She’d not been eating anything other than what he encouraged down her throat, but he supposed a handful of biscuits were better than nothing. 
She felt the bottomless pit that used to be her heart rip open just that bit further, the way it had done slowly the past few days, eating away at her skin. She knew she could never ever repay Spencer for everything he was doing, knew the odd few times she’d managed to collect herself enough to be there for him when he cried could never amount to how he hovered over her every second he was home. 
But where she should have felt guilt, there was nothing, there was just nothing left of her. 
He seemed to notice the slip, the way he always did, and she never did tell him how perceptive he was as he stroked over the back of her hair, leading her with a warm hand on her upper back to the sofa where Pen had already laid out the movie selection, had already grabbed the hot chocolates that were quickly melting onto the coffee table, where Niko was waiting with an eager pink tongue to collect his share, where he settled her down and wrapped her in a blanket as if he was swaddling a baby, where he let her take the middle and him and Pen on either side as Fairytopia lit up his living room with hot pinks and rainbows and flowers and magic. 
And even though she had yet to crack a smile, a real one at least, she seemed content, not entirely uncomfortable with the evening as Penelope commandeered one of her hands to paint her nails a shiny blush colour  ‘to match the evening’. Spencer thought for a minute she might have just needed some girl time, something no matter how many cuddles and sweet words he whispered could never give her. Maybe that was all she’d needed. 
Maybe she would get through this without entirely crumbling.
It wasn’t until the next day when even showering was too big a feat for her, when she had only two mouthfuls of the blueberry pancakes he’d made her before she apologised with watery eyes that he realised how stupid he was for believing it. 
It wasn’t until she said she wanted to move back home by herself that he really started panicking. 
JJ took her out for a picnic in the park the following weekend. The guilt was eating her up alive about hiding Emily’s secret, and from what Pen had told her, she wasn’t doing good. She wasn’t even doing bad; she was barely hanging on by a thread. Hotch had said she would be a flight risk with her sister gone, had said they would need to keep an eye on her as much as they would the rest of the team, but for Emily’s safety she couldn’t tell her the truth. JJ could only stand back and watch as the girl they all knew crawled into something dark inside herself and barricaded the door closed. 
Spencer had taken the nice approach with her, never forcing her to do anything she didn’t want to or asking too directly, as had Penelope. They’d both tried letting her open up by herself, which had only resulted in the girl taking about five steps back and even starting to shut out Reid, something which they all saw tore him up even more than seeing her wasting away in his spare room. He spent more days at hers, crying harder than she had seen him even when he was struggling with opioids. Crying for Emily some of the time, but mostly crying for the fact he was entirely helpless now she had moved out, like the one thing that had held him upright until then had left in a guilty mess of ‘sorry’s and dead eyes.
So she instead took the approach of telling Bugsy she needed help. Because if there was one thing that had always been able to bend her will, it was someone else needing her. 
JJ thought about reminding Spencer that Bug would come back if he took the same route, if he just told her how badly he needed her instead of her feeling like she was simply a burden on his life. But she knew he wouldn’t hear it, he would only blame himself more. 
So she’d told Bug she was struggling with looking after Henry alone while Will was working away, that he’d been asking for her since she’d come to his second birthday party with the biggest stuffed whale toy he’d ever seen. It was a white lie, Will was home more days than she was, but Henry had been asking for ‘the bug lady’ every time he played with his teddy. And it worked like a charm. 
So they sat in the warm April breeze, Bugsy reading on her stomach as JJ carefully nudged a punnet of fat, red grapes her way, hoping she would take the hint and swallow a few. 
It wasn’t until Henry came diving over to them from where he was collecting snails by their shells that Bug even showed any sign of pulling herself out of the book. 
“Buggy!” The little boy called, his tongue struggling with the complexity of the ‘gsy’ sound, and she looked up at him with a tired smile on her face that JJ saw right through immediately. “Buggy, look,” 
She held out her hand, and he gently placed a common land snail in the palm of her hand, no bigger than a quarter, who happily slid over her fingertip with a squishy sensation. 
“Thankyou, Henry,” She replied, her eyes trailing over the shiny slime he left behind over her palm, his tiny antenna eyes googling up at her. “What should we call him?” 
“Sid’d’snail,” Henry replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world, crouching next to her to watch him crawling over her chipped pink fingernails.
“Hi Sid,” She chimed, and JJ watched her face drop into a completely emotionless expression the second Henry’s back was turned to find Sid a friend. 
She felt it clawing at her throat to come out, Emily’s alive, Emily’s alive, come back to us please, please come back to us because Emily’s still alive. JJ was watching her rot in front of her very eyes, and better yet she had the power to stop it with those very few words. 
She could put an end to all of this, she knew how badly it had hurt when Ros died, her older sister, her whole world ripped from her the way Emily’s ‘death’ was doing to Bugsy. She would have given anything for someone to have turned to her and said ‘Jennifer, your sister is still alive. Jennifer, it was all a trick, a hoax, a ploy to keep you safe. Jennifer, Ros is still here, alive and breathing and living her best life in Paris of all places.’
But she couldn’t. She couldn’t betray Emily like that, and knowing, no matter how much of a relief it would come, would put Bugsy in more danger with Ian Doyle and whatever other enemies her sister had made at interpol than she could have ever realised. 
So instead, JJ just ran a gentle hand over her hair that warmed in the sun, and started braiding parts of it absent-mindedly, like they were two girls in a playground waiting for hometime.
JJ stayed quiet, and watched Bugsy get worse. 
Aaron came over to her apartment at 8am sharp. He’d found JJ and Penny in floods of tears in the women’s bathroom when they were due to start the presentation of the latest case and they were nowhere to be seen. Spencer had become detached, quieter with every day that he checked his phone and saw no reply, but had mentioned he’d seen them go into the bathroom together as he got his morning coffee, only for their boss to see the two of them clinging to one another with wet cheeks and before he could even ask, Penelope splurged that Bugsy hadn’t messaged in four days and was refusing to open the door, and that even Spencer asking so sweetly, something that was usually her kryptonite, had failed to draw her out. 
Aaron was convinced if this didn’t work he was kicking down the door himself, even if it meant filing paperwork for a necessary home visit. 
Aaron Hotchner, surprising to no one, was soft on the youngest Prentiss girl. He’d watched her grow for four years straight, had come to her of all people in his hour of desperate need, and felt every second of her grief as if it was his own because he, like JJ, knew he had the power to stop it all but couldn’t. 
He called her name through the door first, her real name, loud yet anxious, along with a firm knock. When he heard nothing back, he rapped on the wood louder, “Bugsy, I know you’re in there. The team are worried about you, they’re worried you’re hurt,” 
Nothing. 
And it wasn’t just the team that was worried, it was him too, if his heavy fists banging even harder were anything to go off of. 
“Bugsy, if you don’t answer I’m sending for the SWAT team and asking them to ram this door down,” He said, with not a trace of a lie in his tone. Because he wasn’t lying, not by a long shot. 
He heard footsteps then, and she appeared through a small crack in the doorway, not open enough for him to see the mess in her living room, but enough to see the way her entire face looked like a cadaver. 
He fought back against the guilt choking him from the inside out.  
“Stop yelling,” She murmured, almost bitterly, “You’re scaring the cats,” 
“You’re scaring us,” He countered back, in a tone that was a little too mean, but from what he heard, soft and gentle wasn’t working, “Please, just let us help you, stop pushing everyone away,”
“That’s a little pot calling the kettle black there, Hotch,” She said in an equally harsh tone, her face scrunching into a frown, and she nearly slammed the door on him right there and then. 
“Get your work out clothes on, we’re going for a run,” He ordered, and it was only then she notices his sport shorts and trainers. She scoffed in his face. He was quick to shove a foot in the door before she actually could swing it shut on him, ignoring the way he nearly yelped as it trapped between the wood, “I’m not asking,” 
“Fuck off,” She spat, and he bristled at her choice language, but he saw the way her eyes told him everything he needed to know. She was a roadkill on a sidewalk waiting to be put out of her misery; she didn’t want to be prodded and poked at and ordered around, she wanted out. 
She wanted to go quietly, without a fight. And it was for that reason, he put up more of a struggle. 
“You are coming outside with me, even if I have to drag you down the street myself because this is not how it ends for you.” Aaron barked back, forcing the door open with one of his large hands as if it was nothing.
“Of all people, I would have thought you would understand, Aaron,” It was like she had slapped him in the face, though he thinks maybe that would have hurt less, and it was only then he saw her eyes had welled up, and her bottom lip was quivering. It was a horrible sight, it twisted his guts like he’d been stabbed by Foyet all over again, but it was better than the nothingness that was there before. 
“Ofcourse, I understand,” His voice softened, his hands coming up to gently rest on her shoulder like she was breakable china beneath his palm, “You think I don’t know what it’s like to want to hide away and never face a world without Haley ever again? I can’t, even now, imagine the rest of my life with her gone,” His throat clogged with emotion he fought off, because he refused to have both of them crying in her living room when he was meant to be the one pulling her out of it, “But I do it because Jack needs me-”
“No body needs me,” She said emptily, ignoring the way Sergio wrapped his tail around her leg and meowed loudly as if to tell her otherwise. 
“Yes we do,” Hotch insisted, seriously, damn near ready to shake her on the spot to knock some sense into her, “We need you, and better yet we love you. You may have lost your sister, but you still have a family waiting for you, Bugsy,” 
And that was it, the single crack that broke the dam. Before he knew it she had launched herself into his arms in a fit of tears, clinging to him tighter than he thought she could for someone who looked so weak and perished. 
He just held her close, feeling his own stray tears drip down his nose as his shirt got wet through. In another life, maybe he and Haley would have had a daughter, and maybe she would have reminded him of Bugsy, maybe his heart would soften to putty just the same way it did with her. The same way it did for Jack. 
And eventually, when she dried her face, and quietened Sergio down, she went to put on her gym gear and one of Spencer's hoodies she’d stolen and felt too guilty to give back, and they went for a run.
If there was one thing Rossi knew better than his whiskeys, it was how to cook a good carbonara. And if there was one thing Bugsy needed more than anything at the moment it was a buttload of carbs and cheese. 
Aaron had been taking her running every morning since that day, and even she had to admit the fresh air and exercise did her good, made her feel stronger and less like the women they find in body bags at the beginning of a case, made her feel like maybe, just maybe, she could get through the rest of this. 
It wasn’t going away overnight, not by any means, but she looked healthier, and her exhaustion meant she got more sleep too, but what remained was a hunger that she was filling with cereal and instant noodles that Rossi knew he had to put a stop to immediately. Instant noodles should have been outlawed with crack and underaged drinking, he would proudly tell her. 
So he invited her over for a cooking lesson, or as he would put it, she could watch him cook and eat as much as she wanted at the end, if she promised to never buy those awful microwave ramen ever again. And she’d agreed, because she felt her appetite coming back every day (and she knew where he kept the good white wine).
“Now as entertaining as this is watching you drain my stash of Sémillon, why don’t you chop up that pork and I’ll get started on the sauce.” He handed her a sharpened butcher’s knife, and the thin slices of seasoned ham, turning to use the stove for just a few moments, “You’re gonna add the cream in until it becomes thick, like cough mixture running off your spoon,” 
“Thick and creamy, you got it,” She chimed in, her fingers slicing the meat into strips, “Did you want this as diced or Julian?”
“Do you mean julienne?” 
“That’s what I just said,” He chuckled into the pot, his chest warming to hear some of that old bratty teenaged sass returning to her tone. He bet she would have run rings around him if she was his kid. 
“Diced, if you would,” David said, using a wooden spoon to stir in the thick cream little by little until the container ran empty. 
“Yes, Chef,” She hummed in response, flipping the chopping board around to begin slicing them the other side, “So, I’m guessing if I asked to try some of that Sauvignon I saw in the fridge, your response would be- oh motherfucker-”
David frowned, “Maybe not so harsh on the tongue but-” He turned around when he heard a hiss, and he quickly understood why she’d thrown the expletive out there. 
Her hand ran red with thick blood, dripping quickly down her arm, ruining her shirt. He didnt even care that his hand carved indian wood chopping board was permanently stained, or that the meat was contaminated, or that the blood trickled a little too quick over his floor, only that her eyes seemed suddenly far away as she did nothing to stop the cut gaping. It had caught her in a trance, one she was not even aware she had been sucked into until he grabbed a towel and headed for her. 
“Emily, no! Emily please, I need medical in here, we have an agent down! Emily, please, please don’t, please- Someone get medical, she’s bleeding-”
David’s hands grabbed a hold of her bloodied palm, wrapping it tightly in the cloth, so harshly it knocked her out of the daze she was in, dragged her out from the last time there was blood all over her hand, when it had been Emily’s blood, when she could do nothing but freeze like she had now. 
“I’m fine,” She said on a reflex, even though he hadn’t asked, he had just acted, pulling her towards the cupboard where he kept the first aid kit, “David, I’m totally fine, it’s just a little scratch,”
“You have to let me go,” Emily had gasped. "Let me go, Bug,"
“David, I’m fine, stop worrying,” She said again when she saw him fussing, hoping he couldn't see the way she’d started shaking, and if he had, she wondered if she could play it off as the adrenaline rushing to fix the wound. 
She knew she was on thin ice with the lot of them after her talk with Aaron. Like he said, they were her family, and family’s took care of one another. She couldn’t live with herself if she kept burdening them so much, kept them from grieving their partner just as much as she was; she loved them too. 
Bugsy was trying to get better, she really was. Sometimes it was just a little difficult, like now when she could still see Emily’s butchered body infront of her as if she were little more than that joint of pork she’d been julienning. 
“It’s okay to get hurt sometimes, kid. You don’t have to lie and pretend it doesn’t hurt if it does,” David said, sitting her back on the breakfast table, holding the bloodied cloth up where he was unravelling a spool of bandage and some rubbing alcohol. 
She shut up then, and she wondered if she was really that see through or if David was just that good at his job. They stayed silent, except for the moan of pain she let out when he doused her hand in the solution, pulling the skin closed tightly and wrapping it taut enough for her to feel her heartbeat in her fingertips. 
“It’s okay if you need a little help once in a while,” He continued, his movements gentle and careful, worried he’d spook her with the first real conversation they’d had in a long time. Rossi had always been closer to Emily than he had her, and maybe it was the fact he lost the few chances he had to be a father, or just the fact she reminded him so much of her older sister, but being with her felt like part of the wound in his chest was the one being treated. “Rather than being afraid to ask for help, remember this: When you ask someone to help you, you are actually doing them a tremendous favour by giving them an opportunity to feel needed.” 
“Is that a David Rossi original, or did you get that from one of your self help books?” She sniffed, hoping he didn’t see the way her expression had fallen, or her throat caught with an apology, or how she hid it with a small smile. 
“Richard Carlson.” He replied, pinning the end of the bandage in tight enough it wouldn’t snag. He sighed, looking at the girl who started guiltily at her fingers, reaching behind her for the corkscrew, “I’ll go get the Sauvignon, you order us a pizza. Just please god, no pineapple, that’s just as bad as instant noodles in my books. That’s like asking Da Vinci about bitcoin, it’s madness,” 
And that was the first time she properly laughed in weeks. 
While Derek was more than equipped to schmoozing the ladies when he wanted a date with them, he had not been ready for this when he’d asked Bugsy to go to the club with him.
She had been doing better, Rossi had said. She had seemed stronger, that was what Hotch had told him. Spencer said they’d even gone for coffee together. He left out the part where it felt awkward and almost like they were seeing an ex, though that of course would be impossible, because they were never dating. At least as far as he knew anyway. 
It had been going fine, they’d gotten two rounds of drinks, had been chatting and she’d even been giggling the more the alcohol hit her. She was looking more like she used to, and it almost all felt like a horrible dream hearing from the rest of the team the state she was in. 
He’d turned his back for a second, for two damn seconds, and she’d been whisked away by some frat boy, and come back to him with a crazy happy look in her eye that he didn’t notice until an hour later. 
“Where did you go, kid?” He’d asked, and she’d shrugged like it was nothing. 
“Needed the bathroom,” She said, and he hadn’t even noticed it was a lie until the light struck her eye for more than a couple seconds and he saw just how dilated her pupils were, like the blackness swallowed her iris whole, and the way she buzzed on the spot with more energy than she’d had in months. 
She was supposed to be getting better, and she was trying, really she was. 
But she couldn’t stop seeing the blood on her hand, couldn’t stop seeing Emily’s face now she could actually sleep again. 
Spencer was half way through his fourth re-read of War and Peace, in its original Russian translation, when he got the knock on the door. 
It was 10pm, he muttered to himself, who was bothering him at this time. 
But of course, as luck would have it, it was the one person who he hadn’t stopped thinking about, the one person who he hadn’t stopped thinking about for the past three years. 
“Spencerrrrrrr!” She chirped, and immediately alarm bells were ringing in his head, her fingers linked with Morgan’s as if he’d all but pulled her to his apartment from the cab. 
She wasn’t stumbling, and she smelled a little like alcohol, but not so much that her inhibitions would be completely destroyed, so he knew it wasn’t that. And Derek looked guilty, a serious kind of guilty like he’d suggested they take a drive on a motorbike with no helmet, or go chasing unsubs unarmed. 
It wasn’t until she flung her arms over his shoulders, and he’d pulled her inside, Morgan following behind with a nervous clear of his throat that he realised what it was. 
“Spencerrrr, I missed you! I missed you so much, Spencer!” And usually he’d love the way she said his name, but this time it was tainted, too false, too electrified. It barely even sounded like her, he hated the way his heart still pounded out of his chest at the fact she pressed herself so close in that little clubbing top of hers, those tight jeans. 
“What did she take?” He ignored her little hums of a song he couldn’t hear, the way she pushed herself even further into his body in a way he knew too well felt like a warm hug throughout her entire being. “Morgan!” 
Spencer had never snapped at him, not since his own days on whatever it was he was doing, and Morgan ran a hand over his face as she nuzzled her nose into his neck. 
“I don’t know, I swear. I turned my back for two seconds to get us another drink, and next thing I know this senior is hitting on her and she’s shoving gum in her mouth and coming back towards the bar- I don’t know what it was, I swear I thought it was gum, man,” Derek rushed, hating the look of desperation in Spencer’s eyes as he yanked her away from him with a small mewl of protest from her mouth. 
“Hey, hey, sweetheart, look at me,” He murmured, and she did, and he saw almost immediately the way her pupils were the size of saucers when she stared at him, crazed and intoxicated, “Do you remember what you took? I need to know so I can keep you safe,”
“You always keep me safe, so safe with Spencer,” She giggled to herself, trying to pull him back to her, but he wouldn’t budge, not until he got a real answer, “Come on, I’m going to be fine, it was just a little Molly, nothing to worry about. Kid even gave me a half for like ten dollars because he said I was reeeeeal pretty. Do you think I’m pretty Spence? I think you’re pretty, I think you’re super pretty,”
They felt themselves sigh in relief, because while still a drug, half of one pill shouldn’t really do much, especially if it was the cheap stuff going around frat houses that the DEA was having a field day with. 
Morgan looked at Spencer, where he let her shove her face against him once more, wrapping his arms around her back and feeling her sigh in relief that she was back there under his warm touch, and they shared the same thought. 
This never happened. 
Because if it did, it meant opening a can of worms Spencer had tried for years to shut tight. It meant acknowledging that the reason Morgan came to him and no one else was because he knew Spencer would know how to handle her when she was coming down in an hour or so. It meant acknowledging why Spencer would know that, and why they hadn’t acknowledged it the first time around. It meant their jobs would be on the line, and so was hers, and as much as she was struggling at the moment, they knew she just slipped up, and that this wasn’t who she was. They knew she could be better, that Spencer would force her to get better, because if the only other option was having her turn into who he used to be, then he was handing in his notice first thing Monday morning. 
That wasn’t an option in Spencer’s books, nor was it in Morgan’s. 
So Morgan left with a little pat on the back of her head, claiming she was a little troublemaker, though he hadn’t quite sounded as teasing as he’d intended and more bitter, and leaving Spencer with her to minimise the damage. 
Bugsy let him lead her to the spare room that once was hers, but she didn’t quite care enough to say anything other than, “I missed you so much,” As she pushed her face into his neck more. 
He sighed, sitting her down on the bed, knowing where she’d left some of her makeup wipes in his bathroom. 
“Stay right here, I’ll be right back,” But she whined again, making a grab for his hand, which he quickly avoided, feeling mean for it the moment he saw her face scrunch in hurt. He stroked her hair behind her ear, watching her melt under his touch, and it almost felt like nothing had changed, like she had never moved out, and like she hadn’t just burst back into his life after popping a bit of molly and turning his evening upside down, “I missed you so much, too, Bug,”
And he wasn’t lying. Not even a little bit. 
She looked up at him with those dazed pupils, as big as dimes as they batted up at him dreamily, and some awful part of him always wanted her to be looking at him like that, like everything he ever did in his life was perfect and he was a god among men. Like she was seeing her favourite movie for the first time on the big screen, when in reality he was just wiping her makeup off her face and handing her spare clothes to change into so she could sleep off the come down. 
It wasn’t until he tried to leave again to go get her some water that she put up a real fight, one that couldn’t be fought off with a gentle touch (he tried), and she was quick to grab his wrist, tug him closer to her. 
“Bug, I’m getting you-”
“Come lay down with me, let’s talk. I love talking to you, why haven’t we talked in so long?” She said like every barrier she ever put up had come tumbling down and her mouth was a free for all for her every thought. 
Spencer smiled despite himself, his honeycomb eyes soft as he shuffled to lay beside her, and they stared at one another, heads against the same pillow, and she looked soft than an angel laying on his bed waiting for a response. She looked happy for the first time in a long time, and he hated how much it suited her. 
“You moved out, remember, bug? You said you wanted to go home and I didn’t want to stop you,” He said gently, like he didn’t want to upset her. But she just giggled and shook her head like he’d told her a joke. 
“Oh, yeah. But I didn’t really want to go home. I wanted to be with you. I want to be with you forever,” Bugsy giggled to herself, wiggling her toes inside her socks and running a finger up his arm gently as she lay on her side, “I missed you so much,”
His brow furrowed, “What do you mean you didn’t want to go home?” But she wasn’t listening, she was tracing over his face with her fingertip, running over his nose gently, past his full lips that quivered under her touch, “Bug,” 
“Hm?” 
“What do you mean you didn’t want to go home? Why did you leave?” He asked again, and she looked back up at him with a shrug, shuffling closer to him, so close he could feel her breath fan over his cheeks. 
“I thought here with you was my home. I wanted it to be.” She said, her fingers finding their way into his nightshirt, “But I felt too guilty being so sad all the time, like I was getting my sad all over you and you couldn’t do anything about it because I was the loser girl with the dead sister you had to look after,” 
His eyes burned with emotion, and he willed himself not to cry, because suddenly it made sense why she had pulled away so fast. She looked at him like he’d hung the damn cosmos in the sky; had he not even paid attention to the letter she’d written Emily. She felt like she was dragging him down, the way she felt about everyone in her life, and decided to cut herself free before she took him with her. And look where that had landed her. 
He felt like a fool. 
“No, no,” Spencer whispered, pulling her into his arms, because he was scared that come morning she would take a million steps back and up and leave him all over again, “That’s not true, that could never happen, you hear me? I liked taking care of you, I wanted to take care of you.” 
“Really?” She asked hopefully, her face soft and dream-like, “I liked taking care of you too, when you would let me,” 
It was true he had tried to push his own feelings on the back burner, besides the few times the dam had cracked and he wound up with his head in her lap receiving the brunt of the affection that evening. He didn’t know why he ever doubted she would have wanted to do that; when he had his migraines she had done nothing but love on him until he felt full to the brim of her warmth. 
He felt himself chuckle, and she shuffled entirely into his arms then squashing out any last molecule of space left between them, and his hand slid over the back of her head, fingers rubbing softly into the nape of her neck which only made her moan loudly, entirely unaware of how sensitive her skin was from the molly. 
“That feels nice, Spencer,” She hummed, her thighs straddling his own as she squished herself against him more, “You feel so nice, I love you so much.” 
He would be lying if he  said the sounds she was making didn’t shoot straight to his dick, and hoped more than anything that she couldn’t feel how it pressed against his stomach angrily. His heart beat rattled loudly, and he swore she had to be able to hear it.
“I love you too,” Spencer sighed, wishing he could have said this to her sober. Wishing she wouldn’t shut him out so easily, wishing he’d pushed her walls a little harder. 
Then she did something he wasn’t expecting. It took all of two seconds for him to close his eyes and hum in content, where her hands were playing with the soft of his waist, and his fingertips stroked her jaw gently, but in a quick movement she planted her lips on his in a soft, sweet peck that he barely had time to register was happening before he pulled away in shock. 
She kissed him. She had kissed him. 
And he wanted her so badly, wanted her in every way it was possible to have someone, wanted to kiss her so hard his face went blue and his lips went numb and his throat burned with lack of oxygen. But he would never dare do anything when she was like this; vulnerable, intoxicated, unaware that the pill she’d taken had acted like a truth serum.
“We’re so silly,” Bugsy giggled, and for a moment she looked twenty two again, like the girl that had answered the door to him in college in nothing but her boxers and a shirt, with her metal music playing so loud he could hear it ringing in his ears minutes after she’d switched it off. She looked like his Bugsy again. 
Spencer chuckled with her incredulously, feeling his face on fire from her action, feeling like a weight had been lifted off his chest that had been immovable for months, because as hard as her come down would hit her, things seemed different now, like they actually had a kicking chance of getting through the grief together. 
But before he could say anything else, her eyes had fluttered shut under the warmth of his palm, and she had drifted off to sleep. 
He guessed he’d have to tell her tomorrow. 
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gojoluvs · 1 month
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Forever yours.
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⤿ Satoru Gojo × reader
Summary, The only reason why you even agreed to marry him was for your father. Now you wish you could go back in time and reject the offer.
Warning/ tags; angst, profanity, smoking, cursing, smut, cheating, mean gojo,
Genre; angst, cheating, infidelity, jik, Gojou × reader
Notes: the tag-list is open if you'd like to be mentioned everytime i update just send me a message also sorry for the spelling errors I didn’t have time to edit :c
9.5k words
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Feeling the warmth of the sun peek through the window, you awoke with a sense of longing.
Feeling the bed empty, you just sighed, realizing that Satoru was nowhere to be found and here you were, laying down on your honeymoon bed. Closing your eyes, all you could do was imagine how you used to wake up next to Toji, and how happy he looked to see you awake. You remembered how he used to caress you after you shared your good morning kiss, and tears began to well up in your eyes as you longed for those moments once again. But you also knew that those memories were in the past and that you had moved on.
"No, I swear to you," you could hear Satoru arguing with someone.
His voice was filled with frustration and desperation, as if he was trying to convince the person of something very important. His words were muffled, but his tone was unmistakable – he was pleading with them to believe him. Despite not knowing the context of the conversation, it was clear that Satoru was in a heated argument.
Confused, you got out of bed feeling a bit sore from last night's activities. As Satoru clenched his phone, you noticed him heading outside to talk to someone. You couldn't help but wonder who he was arguing with and what it could possibly be about.
As Gojo's friend spoke on the phone, he seemed to grow more and more agitated. "Listen Geto, please keep her distracted for now. I know how she gets when I'm out of town," he commanded, clearly worried about something.
"Don't worry, I've got it covered," replied Geto, Gojo's trusted friend and partner in crime. "I'll make sure to keep her entertained and away from her phone." Geto knew that Gojo's girlfriend was prone to constantly checking her phone, so he made a mental note to keep her busy with activities and conversations.
Noticing your presence, he began walking towards you, a look of desperation in his eyes. "Listen, I got to go. Just please do what I tell you," he pleaded before hanging up and letting out a heavy sigh.
"Who was that?" You questioned, watching as he walked past you and into the door. Rolling his eyes, you followed him inside. As he walked towards his desk, he replied, "Just another annoying colleague." You couldn't help but wonder why he seemed so irritated by this person's presence.
Right, you almost forgot that this man hated your guts. It was clear that he didn't want to be anything more than acquaintances, let alone friends. You couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment.
"We have a long day today, so wear your best outfit because I'm taking you out." Walking into the restroom, he closed the door.
As you stood there in awe, you couldn't help but wonder why he was suddenly taking you out. Did he have important business associates in town? Or was he trying to impress someone by showing off his new wife? The possibilities swirled through your mind as you anxiously waited for him to reveal the reason behind this unexpected outing.
Walking back outside you grabbed your phone hoping you could take a picture of the sunset and post it later.  Despite not being as famous and recognized as Satoru you did have a hefty amount of followers.
You quickly snapped a picture before heading back inside. Your heart dropped when you saw a notification, "Toji zen'in added to their story." Biting your lip, you clicked on the notification, taking you to his story. Your heart broke as you saw a photo of him and another woman.
To make matters worse, there was small writing in the photo that said, "Happy birthday to one of my greatest friends ever." It was clear that Toji was hanging out with other women now.
All you could do was feel disappointed that you were no longer in his life. Toji was your first love, your first best friend and your first everything. Letting him go now was possibly the worst thing you could ever do. With a longing sigh you walked back inside the house, deciding what you were going to wear for later.
As you stood in your closet, staring at your clothes, you couldn't help but feel a sense of emptiness. Toji was the one who always helped you pick out your outfits and now he was gone. You never thought you would have to make these decisions alone again. With a heavy heart, you chose an outfit and got ready for the evening ahead, trying your best to push away the thoughts of Toji and the pain that accompanied them.
"You would look better if you wore white, compliments your face." he said, snapping you back to reality. Raising an eyebrow, you couldn't help but question his statement.
"Does it really compliment my face more?" you asked, slightly skeptical. He simply shrugged in response, leaving you to ponder if his opinion was genuine or just a ploy to get you to wear white.
You could see his tall figure leaning on the door frame. He had some black pants on but his hair was still wet. As you tried to turn away, you couldn't help but feel flustered at the sight of his bare chest. Quickly turning back around to change, you tried to push the thoughts out of your head. 
Before you knew it, you were already inside a Rolls Royce that Satoru had rented. You were in the front seat, watching the clouds slowly move as you thought about your new life back home. You used to work for Toji's company, but now that you had split up with him, you had to figure out your next move.
Would you stay in the same industry or try something completely new? It was a daunting thought, but you were excited for the possibilities that lay ahead.
As you stared at the ground, lost in thoughts, you couldn't help but feel a pang of regret. If only you had followed through with your feelings for Toji, maybe you would have a different life now. But instead, you chose to marry Satoru, hoping for a better future. Yet here you were, still struggling and hoping for a job from your husband's family.
And as you thought about Satoru and his lover, you couldn't help but wonder why they hadn't taken the next step in their relationship after dating for so long. Perhaps things would have been different if you hadn't married him. But it was too late for what-ifs, as you were now stuck in a bittersweet limbo, unsure of what the future held for you.
The constant thoughts and questions about why your father chose the Gojo family continued to linger in your mind. You couldn't understand why he would choose them over all the other families in the neighborhood.
You couldn't recall ever being close to the Gojos, especially Satoru, who seemed to ignore you most of the time. The only time he ever showed any kindness towards you was when he gave you his umbrella on a rainy day in high school. But even then, you could sense his disdain towards you. You couldn't help but wonder why he never showed any interest in you, even though you knew you were not the most attractive girl, you were sure you were still worthy of someone's attention.
You still remembered the day your family got invited to one of their annual big parties. You had no friends there, only Satoru. Despite feeling like a lost puppy, you followed him around until he suddenly turned on you. He told you to leave him alone and that he didn't want to be associated with someone like you. To this day, you are still confused as to what you did wrong to get on his bad side.
"We're going to be meeting some of my friends who stay by here so please, be at your best." nodding your head all you could do was keep your head low.
You just wanted to go home. forget about this whole stupid marriage. However, as you follow along to meet your soon-to-be spouse's friends, you can't help but feel a sense of dread and sadness. You know that you're only going through with this marriage for the sake of your family's business and reputation, and not because of love.
Your heart aches as you remember your true love, who you had to leave behind for this arrangement. You can only hope that your true love is happy and that someday you can be together again.
You might've been married to Satoru but your heart only belonged to one man. The man who helped you throughout everything. He was your confidant, your best friend, and your soulmate. The one who knew you better than anyone else and loved you unconditionally.
Despite your marriage to Satoru, your heart never wavered and remained devoted to this man who had been there for you through thick and thin. No matter what obstacles you faced, he was always by your side, providing unwavering support and love. He was the true love of your life, and no amount of time or distance could ever change that.
Hopefully Toji would wait for you, because you knew deep down you wanted only him. This marriage meant absolutely nothing to you and you were going to keep it like that. You couldn't risk losing your true feelings for Satoru, no matter how strong they were, and you were determined to keep them buried deep inside.
You couldn't let yourself fall for him, because if you did, you were afraid of what might happen and how it would affect your life.
As you sat in the passenger seat, watching as the car passed by the city of Santorini, you couldn't shake off the feeling of anxiety. Meeting his friends for some reason made you feel scared and uncertain. Did they know that this marriage was fake? Did they believe his lies? You couldn't help but wonder what would happen if the truth came out.
You knew your sole purpose in this arranged marriage was to give birth to an heir to their company. You always wanted kids but you wanted to have them with the man you loved. However, you were forced into this marriage and knew that you couldn't do anything about it. Your heart broke knowing that you would never have the opportunity to have children with the person you truly loved.
Despite the challenges, you were determined to give this child the best life possible. You knew that their parents may not have loved each other, but you were committed to making sure their upbringing was not affected by it. You were determined to provide a loving and nurturing environment for them, and you were ready to face any obstacles that may come your way.
feeling the car arubtly stopped you raised your head. Seeing a beautiful beach house in front of you. Satoru rolled down the window pressing the small button to talk in the intercom in the gate.
"Its Satoru Gojo, im here for the party." he said. Greeting the guard and gave his name, waiting for the gate to open. As the car slowly made its way up the winding driveway, you couldn't help but admire the stunning architecture of the beach house.
The sleek design, the ocean view, and the lush landscaping all added to the allure of this luxurious property. You couldn't wait to explore and relax in this beautiful setting.
You quickly grabbed your purse and headed out to the car. As you closed the door behind you, the wind gushed and blew your hair gently. The chilly atmosphere sent shivers down your spine. Suddenly, you felt Satoru's arms wrap around your waist as he led you towards the entrance of the house.
Before you entered inside he stopped you, "wait, take out your phone and take a picture of us together. post it later." he said. Nodding you grabbed your phone out of your purse. Leaning your head towards satoru, you smiled.
Before you could even protest, he snatched your phone and stuffed it into his pocket. "You won't be needing this today. I'm keeping it until later," he stated sternly, giving you a piercing look.
The door opened and you were greeted with a tall man with blonde hair. "Satoru, nice to see you." He said hugging him before landing his gaze at you.  "I see you brought a guest, i'll tell shoko." he said smiling at you before motioning to come inside.
The man, whom Satoru introduced as his friend Kento Nanami, smiled brightly at you. "It's a pleasure to meet you," he said with a warm handshake. His blonde hair was neatly styled, and his tall frame exuded confidence.
The man's words were barely audible over the sound of the crashing waves. He gestured towards the door leading to the back, which opened up to a stunning view of the beach.
"Everyone's outside if you'd like to follow me," he repeated, beckoning the others to join him. "And feel free to come by anytime, the beach is always open for our guests." With a smile, he stepped outside.
There was a pleasant atmosphere, with everyone dressed in bright summery colors. Soft classical music played in the background, while the sound of people chatting filled the air.
The house was undoubtedly expensive, but its breathtaking view of the beach made it worth every penny. Its grand size and stunning surroundings left you feeling awestruck.
"Is that who I think it is?" said a woman with long brown hair, her slight eye bags only adding to her undeniable beauty. She seemed to be in deep thought, her gaze fixed on the figure walking towards her. As they got closer, she couldn't believe her eyes - it was her childhood best friend who she hadn't seen in years.
"Shoko," Satoru smiled before embracing the woman. "How have you been? It's been a while since we last saw each other."
Shoko smiled warmly and replied, "I've been good, thank you. How about you?"
"I've been good as well," he said, introducing you to his friend. As you shook her hand, you couldn't help but notice the warmth in her smile. "And this is my wife, Y/N," he continued.
"I see geto has been putting in the work," he said, placing a hand on the baby bump she had.
"Don't say that... It was unexpected, but yes, Geto is the father." She smiled, placing her hand over his.  "I never thought I would be doing this with him, but I couldn't be happier." They both looked down at the baby bump.
You couldn't help but feel a sense of betrayal at the mention of a baby, especially when Satoru had touched her belly with such adoration. It was a harsh reminder that he only wanted you for a child, nothing more. You looked at her with a mixture of sadness and longing, unable to find the words to express your feelings.
Satoru was casually talking to shoko, making comments about her pregnancy and how happy he was for her and geto. You stood there baffled that he had the audacity to act so kindly to them but never to you. Deep down you wondered how he'd be if you'd never married him.
Despite the amount of people at the party, you couldn't shake the feeling of shame and regret for being there. The sight of the other woman, who was most likely his true love, only added to your feelings of inadequacy.
You couldn't help but think that he never truly loved you, and never will, because of the arranged marriage your father forced upon you. You didn't want to show your tears in public, so you silently told yourself to "suck it up." But deep down, you couldn't ignore the fact that his lover must have had it worse than you, being in love with a man who only saw her as a pawn in a business deal. You couldn't help but feel envious of her freedom.
You couldn't help but feel a sense of resentment towards Satoru and Shoko. You knew you would have to live with him until you bore a child of his, but the thought of being left again made your heart ache. You longed for true companionship and love, but instead, you were forced to endure a loveless marriage for the sake of bearing an heir. The loneliness and emptiness you felt only grew stronger with each passing day, and you couldn't help but wonder if this was truly all life had in store for you.
Your silently closed your eyes, letting the smell of the beach fill your nose. Exhaling, trying to recompose yourself after almost crying. You licked your lips before putting on a smile and opening your eyes again. You couldn't help but feel grateful for the peaceful setting of the beach and the calming sound of the waves crashing against the shore. It was the perfect place to gather your thoughts and regain control of your emotions. As you took a deep breath, you felt a sense of relief wash over you, knowing that you were able to overcome your emotions and put on a brave face.
You walked towards satoru, your heels clicking with each step. You hooked your arm with his before engaging in the conversation he was having.
"So, will you be the godmother and godfather of my child?" She said scrunching her nose. You were taken aback by her request, unsure if you were ready for such a responsibility. Your husband's hesitant look mirrored your own thoughts. You
You took a deep breath before finally answering, "We would be honored." Shoko's smile widened as she thanked you both, and you couldn't help but feel excited for the journey ahead as godparents to her child.
As he walked away, you couldn't help but notice the look of concern on his face. You wondered what could be going on inside his mind and if everything was okay. Shoko's presence also made you feel a bit uneasy, as if she knew something that you didn't. You found yourself anxiously waiting for his return, hoping that he would come back and explain the sudden tension in the air. "It'll get better."
"What do you mean?" you asked, turning to face her with a confused expression. She tucked a strand of her long brown hair behind her ear as she looked at you with a pitiful expression.
"I know about everything, but please just give him a chance," she pleaded with a heavy sigh, placing her hand on her belly and starting to rub it. "I know it may seem like he hated you, but the truth is, he doesn't. He's just struggling to deal with his own emotions, Y/N." She looked at You with compassion, hoping to ease the tension between you and Satoru. "Please, give him a chance to make things right."
"I know it may be difficult for you to understand, but there were things that happened before you came into the picture," she explained with a sigh. "Him and Jiiyuu had a long history before you arrived, and it's not your fault that he's acting this way." As you stared at her, you couldn't help but feel baffled by her words. How could he blame you for something that happened before you even knew him?
You avoided her gaze, staring at the floor you just wanted to disappear. To never been seen again, maybe then you could feel loved. Despite not knowing Satoru as much and just being recently married your heart ached. You knew him for almost all your life and for him it was like you were a mere bug in his life, easy to be forgotten.
The pain of unrequited love consumed you as you stood there, unable to face the woman you had spoken to. You couldn't help but feel invisible, ignored and insignificant in the eyes of the one you loved. No matter how much time and effort you put into your relationship, it seemed like you were never enough for them. And as you stood there, longing for their love and attention, you couldn't help but wonder if it was worth it to continue chasing after someone who would never truly see you.
"I see," your voice barely audible. You felt the need to swallow, holding back your tears you continued to look at the ground.
"Just please," She grabbed your hands placing hers on top of yours. As her warm hands consumed yours, you felt the sudden feeling of coldness gone, even if just for that simple moment she stared at you. "Give him a chance," she pleaded, her eyes filled with sincerity and hope.
In that moment, you couldn't help but feel a glimmer of doubt and hesitation fade away as you considered her words. Maybe, just maybe, she was right and you should give him a chance. You had to remember he lost someone he loved too.
You smiled kindly at her, thanking her before going off to find your husband. You bit your lips trying to spot your white haired husband but it didn't take you long. You spotted him speaking animatedly with Kento and another man wearing glasses.
You debated on walking towards him, what if you were a nuisance? Or what if he just didn't want to try in this marriage as you did. These thoughts swirled in your head as you stood at a distance, unsure of what to do. You didn't want to bother him or make things more difficult, but you also couldn't help but feel hurt and frustrated by his lack of effort in the marriage. You were torn between approaching him and confronting him, or simply walking away and accepting that things may never change.
Your thoughts were abruptly disturbed when you saw a man with pinkish hair approaching you. He stood tall and had two small tattoo markings on his face. As he got closer, you noticed a mischievous glint in his eyes and your heart began to race.
"What's a pretty lady doing out here alone, huh?" he said, grinning as he stuck out his hand in a polite manner. You kindly smiled back, unaware of who the man was. You didn't mind the company and thought it would be nice to have some conversation.
"Oh please, you must have me confused. I'm no pretty lady," you giggled, correcting the stranger. You then introduced yourself and accepted his hand, shaking it firmly before he introduced himself in return.
"I'm Ryomen Sukuna," he introduced himself, a mischievous grin on his face as he stuck his hands into his pant pockets. Despite his playful demeanor, it was clear that he was a handsome man. "Nice to meet you, Y/N Gojo."
"So tell me, are you here alone or with someone?" Tilting your head to where your husband stood you sighed.
"Im with my husband, you might know him actually." He raised one eyebrow, pouting his lips he looked at the crowd trying to guess which one was it.
"Hm, is it that ugly fella with the black hair?" You giggled, rolling your eyes at him. You shook your head in denial. "No, that's actually some random person I don't know," You replied with a smile. "But nice try."
"Try again." You said, shaking your head as you grabbed a pastry from the pastry table. You couldn't resist indulging in one before heading back to your seat. You had made your way over to the table without even realizing it, too absorbed in the conversation with a certain man.
"Oh I see, you're talking about Gojo," he said, pausing to point his finger directly at where your husband was sitting. "That albino looking guy," he added with a smirk.
Before you could even engage in an actual conversation, you were pulled away from the man, your husband standing in front of you defensively. "Don't talk to my wife," he said, his tone filled with jealousy and possessiveness. It was clear that he didn't trust you and didn't want anyone else to have a chance to get close to you.
Sukuna raised an eyebrow, a sly grin forming on his lips. He had always found Satoru's rigid attitude towards relationships amusing. But now, as he leaned in closer to Gojo, he couldn't resist teasing him about his own love life. "Oh please, funny coming from someone with..." he paused dramatically, enjoying the way Satoru's expression shifted. "with a lover."
"I can't believe you would choose that disgusting excuse for a person over a mature, respectable woman like her." He said, with a hint of bitterness in his voice. He then quickly composed himself and found his way back to his seat. Satoru grabbed onto your arm, pulling you along with him to your seat as well.
You could feel the tension in the air as you avoided his gaze, knowing that he was fuming with anger. He was visibly biting the inside of his cheek in an attempt to control himself, his anger only intensifying at the mention of his lover and the insult Sukuna had thrown his way. Despite the fact that you were the one wearing the ring, it was clear that he did not care about you at all, and it was painfully evident in that moment.
You gripped the fabric of your white dress, feeling the soft material between your fingers. As you ran your hands over the delicate fabric, you couldn't help but admire the intricate stitching and the way the dress hugged your curves perfectly. The softness of the fabric against your skin made you feel elegant and confident, something you hadn't been feeling in a while.
Shoko smiled as she addressed the guests, her voice projecting through the microphone. "Thank you all for coming, we'll be having games soon as per every baby shower has one. These games are a fun way for everyone to participate and celebrate the new arrival. We hope you enjoy them and have a great time!"
Truth be told, you wanted to run and escape from this form of everyone's expectations. You longed to return to your old life, free from the pressure and obligations that came with being the chosen one for an arranged marriage. You felt sorry for yourself for being so naive, thinking that Satoru would just accept the situation without any objections. In all honesty, who would want to be in your position?
However, you couldn't help but feel envious of the vastness and freedom that the sea represents. You longed to be able to travel and explore without any responsibilities or worries holding you back. As you gazed at the sea, you couldn't help but compare your stagnant and unfulfilling marriage to the endless possibilities that the sea seemed to offer.
You stayed staring at the sea, lost in thought about your miserable life. You wondered if maybe being with Toji, your best friend and lover, could be like the sea - a source of solace and escape from your troubles. The rhythmic crashing of the waves and vast expanse of the ocean seemed to offer a sense of peace and possibility that you longed for in your daily life.
The wind gushed over you, a few of your hairs falling out of place. Bringing up your hand to fix it you tucked your hair behind one ear. You longed to be loved, to be someones everything again. Maybe it was regret you were filling, or maybe you just felt like you deserved absolutely nothing. As you sat there, the emptiness inside you grew, and you couldn't help but wonder if anyone would ever see you for who you truly are and love you unconditionally. The loneliness and longing for a deep connection weighed heavily on your heart, and you couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing from your life.
You never wanted to be the cause of someone else's heartbreak, yet here you are, living a life that was meant for someone else. You can't help but feel guilty and unworthy of any love. Every time you looked at Satoru, you were reminded of the fact that you were not the one they were meant to be with. It's a constant internal struggle and you can't help but wonder if things would have been different if you had just followed your heart.
"Y/N?" You're thoughts were interrupted by Shoko, her hand sticking out to help you get up. "It's you and Satoru turn for the blindfolded diaper game."
You took her hand, following her to the center. Everyones eyes looking at you and your husband. They handed you a blindfold. Grabbing the soft fabric they placed it on your eyes, tightening it before starting the game. Every other couple had their own doll, having to change the diaper before anyone else did.
"Go!" Shoko giggled seeing everyone start.
As the game began, you could hear the sound of rustling fabric and giggles from the other couples. You and your husband carefully felt for the diaper pins and began to change the doll's diaper, trying to do it as quickly and accurately as possible. The crowd cheered and laughed as the game progressed, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of camaraderie with the other couples.
Despite the blindfold, you and your husband worked together seamlessly, and in the end, you were declared the winners. As the blindfold was removed, you were surprised.
"Y/N and Satoru take that one! Seems like she's a lucky lady, huh? He knows how to change diapers!" exclaimed one of Shoko's friends.
You chuckled awkwardly as you found your seat, sitting down next to your husband. "I didn't know you knew how to change diapers," he said with a genuine confused look. You looked down and shrugged, "I guess I learned something new."
You caught a look on his phone, seeing he was texting a certain number you remembered seeing.
before you knew it the day had come to an end, you were already back at the Hotel cave you had rented out. You felt mentally and physically exhausted. For some reason you felt more at peace now. Maybe it was because you had come to realization that you could never make Satoru love you, but yet you knew you had to try. At elast for Toji, his last words being "Take care of yourself, okay?” It hurt so bad.
Satoru was in the restroom getting changed, practically forgetting about your existence. You stood outside, feeling a mix of emotions - irritation at being forgotten and a sense of loneliness.
“Toji… Please never forget about me.” As you stood there, lost in your memories of Toji, you couldn't help but feel a sense of longing and sadness. Even though he was gone, he was still a big part of your life, and you could never forget about him. The thought of him fading from your mind was unbearable. You hoped that wherever he was, he knew how much you missed him and how much he meant to you.
You threw yourself on the bed, kicking off your heels and undressing yourself, you unclipped your bra and grabbed a big T-shirt stopping as you recognized it. It was one of Tojis shirts or rather as he said, his “lucky” shirt. He had explained to you that he met you with this shirt on so he had gave it the title the “lucky” shirt as he was lucky enough to meet you.
As you held the shirt in your hands, memories of him flooded your mind. You remembered how he would always wear this shirt on your date nights, how he would always smell like his cologne mixed with your perfume when he wore it. Tears welled up in your eyes as you realized that you would never see him wear it again. You threw the shirt back onto the bed and collapsed onto the pillows, wishing you could turn back time and hold onto those happy moments forever. But now, all you had left were memories and his "lucky" shirt.
Hearing the doorknob unlock you quickly grabbed the shirt and put it on, leaving you in just ur panties and Toji’s shirt. You grabbed the soft sheets of the bed and pulled it down, going under the sheets you faced away from Satoru who has just gotten out the restroom. You didn’t dare to say a word to him.
You could feel his eyes on you, but you pretended to be asleep. You didn't want to face the awkwardness of the situation and you hoped he would just leave you alone. But then you felt the bed shift as he climbed in next to you. Your heart raced as you felt his arm wrap around you, pulling you close.
"Why do you smell different, more..." he paused, slowly sitting up from the bed and turning on the small lamp next to him. "You smell like cologne," he said, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. He couldn't quite place the scent, but it was definitely different from the usual lavender and vanilla perfume you wore.
You tried to reply before he took the shirt off you, “Its Toji’s isnt it.” He stared at you not daring to blink, his intense gaze making you feel vulnerable and exposed. You could see the anger and betrayal in his eyes as he realized you had been wearing another man's shirt.
"I didn't think it was such a big deal," you covered your chest with your arms as a shiver ran through your body. The coldness of the hotel cave was biting, causing goosebumps to emerge on your skin. You could feel the chill in the air, but it was nothing compared to the icy feeling in your heart.
Satoru gripped the shirt before throwing it, most likely hiding it later on. “A big deal? my wife wearing another’s man shirt? not a big deal?” He scoffed grabbing one of his shirts and throwing it to you.
"You must be stupid or something," he muttered, rolling his eyes in annoyance. "And don't pretend to be shy. I've seen your breasts before." With a scoff, he turned off the lamp and lay back down in bed next to you. You couldn't believe his audacity and felt hurt by his crude words. It was clear that he didn't value or respect you, and you couldn't help but question why you still stayed with him.
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Today was your last day of the so called “honeymoon”.
You loathed every moment spent here with Satoru. You envied anyone who didn't have to endure being in his presence. You would rather be dead than ever come back here with him again.
You hated the fact that you married such a handsome man. You couldn't help but feel conflicted, as his sleeping figure appeared so peaceful and innocent. It was hard to reconcile this image with the way he treated you, with the hurtful words he would say and the way he would make you feel small and insignificant. Yet, here he was, arms wrapped around you, his touch so gentle and loving. It was a constant battle between your heart and your mind, torn between loving and loathing this man. But in this moment, as you awoke to his sleeping figure, you couldn't help but feel a small glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, things could be different between you two.
As expected, he wasn't wearing a shirt and you were surprised to find that you weren't wearing one either. You couldn't help but feel a rush of heat to your cheeks as you realized you were practically skin to skin with him. The close proximity and lack of clothing added an unexpected tension to the situation, making your heart race and your mind race with thoughts of what could happen next.
Despite your initial attempts to escape his grasp, you found yourself unable to resist the comforting presence of the man in front of you. You couldn't help but feel drawn to this peaceful version of him, free from his usual toxic behavior. You gently placed your hand on his smooth, shiny skin, reveling in the softness of his cheek and the fullness of his lips. Your thoughts turned to kissing him, but you quickly scolded yourself for even considering such a thing. He may be different now, but he was still the same man who had caused you so much pain.
You gently brushed one of his hairs out of his face, revealing his forehead. With a sigh, you spoke his name, "Satoru." You shook his shoulder, hoping to rouse him from his slumber.
His blue icy eyes staring back at you, he released his grip and rubbed his face tiredly. "Mm, Gmorning," he grumbled, clearly not a morning person. Despite his rough exterior, you couldn't help but feel a sense of warmth and comfort in his presence.
“Today's the last day of our vacation and I want to do something memorable, something that will make this trip even more special. Please, can we do something fun and romantic together?” He let out a deep sigh before getting up from the bed.
Without saying a word, he walked straight to the restroom, leaving you feeling disappointed and unheard. You could hear the sound of the faucet being turned on, a clear indication that your requests were being ignored.
Once again you were alone, somethinf you were going to have to get used to now. You got up grabbing the white t-shirt your husband gave you last night.
You walked outside extending your arms up stretching your sore muscles and gazing at the sunset. You took a deep breath, inhaling the fresh, salty air and feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin. As you looked out at the stunning view of the caldera and the sparkling Aegean Sea, you couldn't help but feel a sense of peace and contentment. Despite the painful memories associated with this place, you knew that this beautiful view would always hold a special place in your heart. You took another deep breath of fresh air and let out a content sigh, feeling the tension from your muscles slowly dissipate. The warm sun on your face and the gentle breeze made for the perfect morning routine.
You could feel the tension in the room as you walked in, but you didn't know how to break the silence. Satoru seemed completely absorbed in his phone, not even sparing a glance in your direction. You walked straight towards the restroom, in need of a bath. You stripped yourself off your clothing. immediately going into the hot shower, feeling it go over your body you could finally relax.
As the warm water cascaded over your body, you could feel the tension and stress melting away. It was as if the shower was washing away all the worries and troubles of the day. The soothing sound of the water and the comforting warmth enveloped you, providing a sense of calm and peace. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, feeling grateful for this moment of relaxation amidst the chaos of the day.
Suddenly, the sound of the bathroom door opening caught your attention. You turned to see your husband walking in and casually brushing his teeth, not even noticing you in the shower. As you watched him, you couldn't help but feel a pang of loneliness and disconnect. Despite being in the same space, it felt like you were in different worlds.
“Listen, we’re going to go eat dinner then we can go see what we can do alright?” You hummed in return not paying attention to a single world he said. You knew that his words were empty and insincere. He had a habit of saying things to placate you, but his actions always spoke louder.
You just wanted to go home, to find a new hobby to preoccupy yourself with. You got yourself ready, elegant enough for a so called “dinner” he was taking you too.
He emerged from outside grabbing his wallet and keys he closed the door before heading out by the parking area. “Its kind off like a cruise but its only for a few hours so stay with me at all times, got it?” You nodded back entering the car with your husband.
As you drove to the harbor, your husband explained that the boat you were about to board was a yacht rented out for private events. You were excited for the mini cruise and couldn't wait to see what the night had in store. As you boarded the yacht, the sun started to set and the view was breathtaking. You thanked your husband for the surprise and promised to stay by his side throughout the night.
The sun was setting, casting a beautiful orange glow over the ocean and the yacht. As you stood next to Satoru, you could feel the warmth of his arm against yours. You both tried chatting with the other couples on the yacht, enjoying each other's company and the stunning view. The drinks were delicious and you could feel yourself relaxing more and more, grateful for this chance to spend time with Satoru. Maybe this trip would be the turning point in your relationship.
You felt the vibration through Satorus pants, indicating that someone was trying to reach him. With a brief apology, he excused himself and made his way to the other side of the yacht to take the call in privacy. From your spot on the deck, you watched as he paced back and forth, his expression growing more serious by the second. You couldn't help but wonder who could be calling him in the middle of your vacation again.
Feeling dejected and alone after being stood up by Satoru, you decided to drown your sorrows and headed to a nearby bar. While nursing your drink, you struck up a conversation with a group of people who, to your surprise, were also on their honeymoon.
Particularly, you had met this rather old couple, they were in their 40s and said that this was their third time back in the mini cruise. They were sitting at the deck, enjoying the ocean view and sipping on some cocktails. "We just love the atmosphere and the relaxation that comes with being on this cruise," the woman said, smiling at her partner. "It's like a mini vacation from our busy lives," the man added, nodding in agreement.
"You're absolutely gorgeous!" exclaimed the woman as she took a sip of her cocktail, once again admiring the stunning symmetry of your facial features. She couldn't help but notice the way your eyes sparkled in the dim lighting of the bar, or the way your smile lit up the room. It was as if you were the perfect combination of beauty and charm, making it impossible for her to take her eyes off of you.
"Thank you so much, you look rather gorgeous yourself," you replied, smiling at her compliments.
"Now tell me, why are you here all by yourself?" The woman asked, tilting her head with curiosity.
"Well," you begin, trying to come up with a plausible excuse, "I just needed some time alone to clear my head. It's been a stressful few weeks and I wanted to take a break from everything." You flash a fake smile, hoping she wouldn't catch on to your lie about your husband. You knew he was here, but he was too busy talking to his mistress on the phone to notice your absence.
As you stood nervously in front of her, she playfully nudged you and said, "Well, let's hope some young, handsome man here can swoon you and steal your heart." You couldn't help but laugh at her teasing words, and her smile only grew wider. She gestured for you to come and talk more, and you found yourself feeling more at ease in her presence.
You tried to look for satoru, to no avail was no where to be found. You sighed in disappointment following the middle aged couple back outside. “You know i used to be just like you,” she said.
You tilted your head confused, “Just like me?”
“I would often take spontaneous trips to new places, whether it was a nearby hiking trail or a faraway city. Being in a new environment helped me to relax and forget about my stressors for a while. The excitement of exploring a new place and the freedom of being away from my usual routine brought me a sense of peace and clarity. And even though it may have seemed impulsive to others, I never regretted taking these adventures to clear my mind.”
"That's also how I met my now husband," she continued, "and I can tell you from experience that it's important to always be certain if the man you are marrying is the right person for you." She went on to give you further tips and advice on marriage, sharing her own personal stories and lessons learned.
You didn't know why she was so comforting, maybe it was the way she kind of reminded you of your mother in some way or maybe because you needed someone as wise as her to speak with you. You were grateful for the empathy she showed towards you and the insightful advice she gave. It felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders after talking to her.
"You're a beautiful young woman," she said, smiling at you before taking off her sunglasses. "Never settle for less because there's always someone who would do anything for you." Her words resonated with you.
Almost the entire night you spent it with the couple, talking about your future and what college you went to. The whole night was filled with laughter and you had realized mid way through it that Satoru still hadn’t came back.
You had found out the womens name was Akari Nitta, she was probably one of the nicest people you had ever met. As the night went on, you couldn't help but feel grateful for meeting Akari Nitta. Her kindness and warmth made you feel at ease, and the drinks only added to the pleasant experience. You found yourself opening up to her, sharing stories and laughing together. The alcohol slowly took over your body, making you feel lightheaded and carefree.
Despite just knowing the couple for a few hours, you felt an instant connection with them. It was as if they could see right through you, making it impossible to hide anything. Before you knew it, you were pouring your heart out to them, telling them everything that had been happening between you and your husband. Akari's anger was palpable, and you knew she would do anything to protect you from Satoru's mistreatment. "Oh sweetheart, don't cry," she said, wiping away your tears as they fell down your cheeks.
Although you despised alcohol and the hold it had over you, you found it to be a temporary escape from the harsh reality of your life. It was a fleeting moment of calm amidst the chaos and pain that plagued you daily. It was a temporary numbing of the emotions and memories that haunted you, making it easier to endure the present. But deep down, you knew that alcohol was only a band-aid for your problems, and it would never truly solve them.
To make matters worse your husband happened to appear by you after the many hours he was gone he was surprised to see you crying. “Y/N, whats wrong?” You could tell he was genuinely concerned as to why he came back to his wife crying.
Jiyuu had been drunk calling Satoru, telling him how she missed his touch and how she wouldn’t wait for him to divorce you. The whole time without you knowing he was calling her and couldn’t even be with you on your last day of your honeymoon.
"You... You're a disgrace," she said with venom in her voice as she spat at Satoru, who looked back at her with a bewildered expression.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?" His eyebrows furrowed as he grabbed your arm and pulled you closer. You stood there, confused and unsure of what was happening.
"You should be ashamed of yourself," she continued, her voice shaking with anger. "How could you treat such a wonderful and sweet girl like absolute shit? And then insult her like if it was her fault?” Her words pierced through the air, leaving him speechless and ashamed. People stopping by see what was going on.
His eyes widened, “Listen old hag, Shes my wife and stay out of our love life.” He narrowed his eyes as his anger flared, "I don't need your meddling in my relationship! She's my wife and I'll handle our problems on my own." He clenched his jaw and shot a fierce glare at the old woman, challenging her to say anything else.
Her voice trembled with emotion as she continued, "She deserves to be treated with love and respect, not like a worthless object." Her words were filled with anger and disappointment towards the man standing in front of her. "You are nothing but a coward, incapable of taking responsibility for your actions." She turned and walked away, leaving the man to contemplate his behavior towards the girl. “wonder how disappointed your mother would be.” she spat back Shaking her head.
The yacht abruptly stopped, causing you to stumble into Satoru's arms. "Toru, let's go home, please," you slurred, clearly intoxicated. Satoru could tell that you were completely wasted and in no condition to continue partying on the yacht.
The words the woman had said hit him hard, he carried you to the car and placed you on the passenger seat. You had fallen asleep once he carried you. As he drove, he couldn't help but replay her words in his mind. He sighed not wanting to deal with anything else. His world already felt like it was crashing and this? Just made it worse. He wondered how he was going to handle this situation and if he could even fix it. The weight of it all suddenly felt too heavy to bear.
The car ride was quiet, save for the occasional snore from you as you slept soundly in the passenger seat. He couldn't help but feel conflicted about his feelings for you. On one hand, he wanted to stay true to his commitment to jiyuu, but on the other hand, you brought a sense of peace and comfort that he couldn't find elsewhere. He knew he had to be careful, not wanting to lead you on or hurt jiyuu in any way. But deep down, he couldn't deny the guilt he felt for you.
He couldn't bear the thought of losing Jiyuu again. It was like a constant ache in his chest, a reminder of the love he once had and lost. He couldn't understand why he resented you so much, why he treated you so badly when you didn't even want the marriage either. He was torn between his loyalty to Jiyuu and his duty to make the marriage work. But deep down, he knew that he could never truly love anyone else the way he loved Jiyuu.
However, he was determined to make his dream a reality, even if it meant sacrificing his marriage and causing heartbreak. In the end, he was able to be with the person he truly loved, but at what cost?
He parked the car before getting out and carrying you once again, he could obviously tell you had one to many drinks as you couldnt even wake up from it. Finally he made it to the house Gently placing you on the bed, he changed you out of your clothes and put you in something rather warming. All he could do was just stare, stare at your flushed cheeks and your glowy skin. He could tell you had been crying because your lips were slightly more plump and your eyes were a but puffy.
Feeling a pang of guilt, he couldn't help but wonder what could have caused you to drink so much. He made a mental note to check on you in the morning and make sure you were okay. As he turned to leave, he couldn't help but feel a sense of protectiveness over you, even though he barely knew you. He hoped that you would be okay and that he could help you in any way possible. With a final glance, he quietly left the room, hoping that you would wake up feeling better in the morning.
He didn’t mind picking up your stuff and putting it in your suitcase, remembering that you had to wake up early tomorrow he ordered room service and asked them to bring some Advil for the headache you were sure going to have tomorrow.
He couldn't quite put his finger on the reason for his sudden change in behavior towards you. It could have been the influence of the stranger's words, or perhaps it was the weight of his guilt that finally caught up to him. Whatever the reason may be, it was clear that he was making an effort to be kind to you in this moment.
As he lay in bed, he kicked off his shoes and reached into his pocket to grab his phone. He scrolled through social media, occasionally glancing over at you lying next to him. Suddenly, his phone vibrated, and he quickly sat up, intrigued by the notification. He leaned over, seeing your sleeping figure he sighed in relief. He opened the message, seeing it was Jiyuu trying to text him at 2:04 in the morning.
+1 *** *** ****; love you Toru, don’t forget that.
He bit his lip contemplating if he should reply back, 'Toru...' he remembered the nickname gracefully slipping out of your mouth, and for some reason, it made him smile. He couldn't help but feel a sense of warmth and fondness towards you.
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Taglist; @allofffmypeaches @shycreatorsandwich @ryumurin @cloudsinthecosmos @4-everm-0-re @kurookinnie @bluebreadenthusiast @diannana @haurno @fouyumixuri @numblytemporary @spin-garden @oyaoya-bungeegum @we-loveebony @katteddie86 @mine-lu @rosso-seta
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roosterforme · 7 months
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The Younger Kind Part 36 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Bradley is finally happy, and he knows it's because of you. The way you want to try new things with him in bed makes him feel wild. And the way you love his son makes him feel calm. But when you read a piece of mail before he's ready for you to see it, your reaction has him feeling something new.
Warnings: Swearing, fluff, smut, anal sex, butt plug, and age gap (18+)
Length: 4800 words
Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader
Check out my masterlist for more! The Younger Kind masterlist.
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Bradley anxiously awaited for his appointment with Tracy to begin. He wasn't sure if it was a good sign or a bad sign that she asked him to stop by on his way home from work, but he was here now. And he had his checkbook with him. 
"I owe you some money," he said when she finally called him back.
"Sure, but we have other things to talk about," she said, ushering him over to her conference table while she opened up a Red Bull.
His stomach lurched. "It is about Meredith? Is it bad?" He was finally starting to be able to enjoy every day he spent with you and Noah. He didn't have to worry about things constantly, because you were happy to help him with his son and his house. When he got home with Noah the other day, you were changing that lightbulb on the front porch that he'd been meaning to get to. And you kept trying to help him pay his mortgage. 
"Yes, it's about Meredith. Just have a seat."
Bradley sat and looked at her expectantly. "Has she been released or something? Do I need to call my girl?"
"No, no," she said, waving him off as she took a sip. "She's been sentenced."
Now Bradley's heart was really pounding. Tracy had told him that Meredith would most likely get five to fifteen years for the fraud charges. Five would be devastating, simply because Noah would still be a minor when she was released. Fifteen would be ideal. Noah would be over eighteen and a legal adult. A fight for custody or money would be a moot point. And well, if Bradley had another child with you, that would have nothing legally to do with his ex at all. 
"Please tell me this is good, Tracy. I just want to solidify my life right now exactly as it is. No more messing around with protective orders and broken windows. My kid is happy, and I am happy."
She smiled and said, "You're about to get even happier. Fifteen years." 
Bradley was out of his seat with his fist in the air immediately. "Hell yes! Any chance at parole?" he asked. 
"There's always a chance. We'll keep an eye on things." 
She and he talked for a bit after that, and he felt his body ease back comfortably in the seat. Bradley wrote out a check and left it with Tracy, and then she handed him a folder full of information on adopting a stepchild in California. And a second folder with a preliminary copy of his updated will.
When he got home with his checkbook in his hand, he found you and Noah in the kitchen, and both of you were wearing more peanut butter than the carrots on the cutting board in front of you were. But you were laughing, and so was he, and the house smelled like dinner was cooking.
"I'm home," Bradley said from the kitchen doorway, and you spun in surprise. 
"Hi, Daddy," you said as you rushed for him with your messy hands held out at your sides. "You're already done with Tracy?"
"Mmhmm," Bradley hummed, leaning down to kiss you as Noah brought him ants on a log. "Fifteen years," he murmured, and you leaned in for another kiss with a soft, pleased laugh. 
"Really?"
"We can talk more later," he said, keeping one arm around your waist as he lifted Noah up and opened his mouth for the messy carrot stick. He kissed Noah while he chewed and then said, "Thanks, Bub. Did you have a good day?"
"Yeah. We did a puppet show," he said before squirming out of Bradley's arm to go make a bigger mess. And that left Bradley holding you and his checkbook. 
"Casey asked me to say hi to you when I picked Noah up," you whispered with a little grin on your face as you reached for the checkbook. "I told her I would if my mouth wasn't otherwise engaged this evening."
Bradley snorted. "You didn't."
"I did," you confirmed, waving his checkbook in the air between two fingers before tossing it onto the counter. "Who are you writing checks to, old man? I already told you, everyone uses payment apps."
"Tracy," he said. "I'm pretty sure she's older than me."
"Nobody is older than you, Daddy," you whispered, and Bradley took your wrists and guided both of your hands to his mouth. He watched your lips part silently as he licked the healed scar on your palm before sucking your thumb into his mouth. You squeaked as he cleaned the peanut butter from each of your fingers individually as you stepped a little closer to him. 
"Who you calling old?" he asked before kissing your palm and squeezing your hip. He made a show of switching to the other hand as you rubbed your core against the front of his pants. Your eyes rolled back as you moaned for him. "Shh," he scolded. "Behave." 
But you were only wearing thin scrub pants, and Bradley didn't actually want you to behave. One glance at Noah proved that he was absorbed with emptying a large canister of raisins onto the counter, so Bradley finished with your hand and then palmed both of your butt cheeks at the same time. He squeezed, really enjoying the feel of you as he whispered, "Are you wearing it?"
"No," you gasped. "I just got home from work!"
Bradley shrugged. "You've been wearing it around the past few days. Here and there."
You glanced at Noah over your shoulder before you whispered, "It makes me horny. I can't wear it to work! I'll get fired!"
Bradley chuckled and then he tightened his grip on your ass and said, "Go put it in."
Your teeth immediately sank into your lip. "Now?"
"Yeah," he replied softly. "Like my good girl."
You scampered off to the bedroom, saying, "Take the casserole out of the oven," as you went.
---------------------------
You knew to take your time with your silicone plug now. Use lots of lube and relax. As soon as you finished inserting it, you were practically moaning for Bradley to put his cock in your pussy. You were kind of addicted to the way it felt when he and the toy were both inside you at the same time. With a few deep breaths, you eased your underwear and your scrub pants back up your legs and made your way back to the kitchen. 
Bradley and Noah were sitting at the table with the casserole dish, and when you met your boyfriend's eyes, he was grinning. "Well?" he asked, reaching for your hand. 
"You know it, Daddy," you replied, and even though you weren't trying to, your voice took on a needy edge. 
He grunted softly, his eyes half lidded now as he patted the chair next to him. Noah was already eating his dinner, and thankfully he didn't seem to notice the way Bradley was looking at you like you were for dessert. You eased yourself onto the seat and whimpered softly as Bradley leaned in and pressed the softest, sweetest kiss to your lips. 
"I love you, Baby," he murmured before brushing your cheek with his nose. "I can't wait to take you to the lake house next weekend. We'll pack your little toy."
He started kissing along your neck, and you didn't think you'd make it through dinner at this rate. Your nipples were hard, and he was barely even touching you. Desperate for a distraction, you tried to reach for the casserole without rolling your hips too much.
"Daddy?" Noah asked. "Can we get a dog?"
"A dog?" Bradley asked, his attention shifting slightly from you to his son. "I already got you a Mommy, isn't that enough?" You snorted with laughter, but Noah was undeterred. 
"I want a dog."
"Noah, if we get a dog, somehow it will end up being my responsibility. Maybe when you're older," Bradley said. But he was pouting, and he looked like he was going to cry. 
"Daddy," you whined softly with a little grin. "I always wanted a dog, too." 
Now Bradley was looking back and forth between you and Noah, before settling on you. "Are you really going to do this to me right now? You could probably get away with murder at the moment, Princess."
"Isn't that always the case?" you asked sweetly as you shifted a bit in your seat and served yourself some dinner. 
Bradley groaned and held his forehead in his hand. "Can we talk about this later?" he begged, glancing at you between his fingers. But you were busy smiling at his son. 
"We'll work on it, okay sweet Noah?" you whispered. 
"Okay," Noah agreed softly before he started eating again.
But teasing Bradley about the dog definitely backfired on you later on the couch. Noah wanted to watch a Disney movie, so Bradley sat in the middle of the couch with your head resting on one thigh and Noah's on the other. The Princess and the Frog was playing, because Bradley insisted you deserved a princess movie. And everything was perfect. His hand was heavy on your side, stroking you through your clothing in the most delicious way.
When the movie was nearly finished, Bradley murmured, "Noah's asleep," as his hand skimmed along your hip. Then inch by inch, his fingers worked their way along your butt until he was cupping you with one big hand. Then you felt him prod you through your clothing, running one long finger across the base of your toy. 
"Fuck," he grunted as he very gently pressed it further into you. Full. You were so full. After days of wearing it for an hour here and there, you thought maybe you were ready for more. 
You looked up at Bradley over your shoulder and wiggled against his hand. The way he slowly shook his head and licked his lips made you feel like you were in control of this. But you supposed you always were. Then he eased his hand up to your lower back and teased at the waistband of your pants and underwear before dipping it inside. 
Rough skin on yours had your eyes fluttering closed. "Look at me, Baby," he whispered, and you clenched for him. "Look at me while I touch you."
You did as you were told, but he subtly let you know you were still in charge. His brown eyes were sincere and open as he cupped your rear end, moving the plug incrementally. Pushing, pulling, tugging and teasing. When you whimpered, he pushed his fingers forward to your pussy. 
"Daddy," you gasped as he pushed his rough fingers through your folds.
He spanked your pussy lightly until you were afraid you'd start getting loud. "Go get yourself in bed," he instructed. Then he withdrew his fingers and licked them clean. When you rolled onto your belly, your cheek and hand rubbed against his cock in his pants. "I'll come take care of you in a minute."
"Yes, Daddy." You kissed Noah's cheek and then leaned down to taste yourself on Bradley's lips. Then you ran into the bedroom and tossed all of your clothing into the hamper, replacing all of it with a new matching bra and thong you paid for with his credit card. "Damn it," you whined. The toy was making you squirm for release, and you were half tempted to touch yourself. You were nervous, but only slightly, because you knew Bradley would do whatever you told him to. So you grabbed the lube from your drawer and settled onto your beautiful, new bed. 
--------------------------
Shit. You were already touching yourself when Bradley walked into the bedroom. Black lingerie, your purple plug peeking out, and you on your back with your fingers in your pussy. "Jesus Christ," he groaned, ripping his shirt off and tossing it on the floor. You looked so young and innocent, even with your ass full of that toy. Bradley couldn't believe the words he was about to speak out loud. "Will you let me fuck you in the ass?"
Wide eyed and writhing around on your back on the bed, you nodded at him. "Yes." He was determined to do this just right. He never wanted to hurt you. He always wanted you to feel good when you were with him. Carefully he removed his jeans and joined you on the bed with his cock hard in his briefs. 
"You've been teasing me with that toy all night," he whispered, pressing a feather light kiss to your lips and pulling away so you'd chase him for more. "Time to see if you can handle something a little bigger."
You whined for him as he kissed down your body. "You're a lot bigger," you gasped when he nibbled on you through your bra. "You'll go slow?"
Bradley hummed against your skin, stretching up to kiss your neck. "I'll do whatever you want. Anything you want. And if you tell me to stop, I'll stop."
"Okay," you whispered. "Just go slow."
He could hear the slight edge of apprehension in your voice, so he took your face in his hand and kissed your cheek. He wanted to be sure this was a good type of nervous, not a bad one. "You are under no obligation to do this, Princess. You already give me more than enough." 
"I know," you replied, meeting his lips with yours.
But he pulled back and forced you to look him in the eye. "Tell me one more time that this is what you want. And tell me that you trust me."
You nibbled on your lip before you said, "I always trust you. And I want to try this. Now make me feel good."
Bradley was grinning as he slipped his hand down your belly and tucked it inside your black underwear. The swirl of his fingers on your clit had you gasping, and soon he pulled your underwear off. You were already wet when he put his mouth on you, and then Bradley thought about edging you to make you squirt for him. But your fingers were rough in his hair, and he knew he would be too far gone to be as gentle as possible if he did that. So he took his time, burying his nose and mouth in your sweet pussy, and licking you everywhere until you came for him. Then he licked all around that plug and admired the tight pucker of your hole wrapped around it.
"Fuck," he gasped, placing a kiss to your inner thigh. He was going to find out just how tight you were. As you rode the little jolts of pleasure still going through your body, Bradley carefully wrapped his arms around your back and got you onto all fours. "Try it like this?" he asked, caging your body in beneath his.
Your words were a little incoherent as you bucked back against him, and he could feel the base of your toy against his cock through his underwear. Oh hell, he needed to pull himself together. He needed something familiar to calm himself down. Bradley unclasped your bra and pressed his chest to your back, watching the strap slide down your arm. Your hips were rocking back, and he moved in unison with you, planting his left hand on the bed and rubbing your tits with his right. 
He kissed along your spine and moaned, "You'll put me in an early grave, I swear it." Your soft giggle had him dragging his lips along your shoulder until he was kissing your neck. "I love you, Baby."
"I love you too, Daddy," you whispered, and it was the sweetest thing. So Bradley stood on his knees behind you, admiring the way you and that toy looked as he spread your legs wide. When he slid his underwear down, his cock bounced up to tap you, nudging the plug and making you groan. He didn't know how this was going to work as he pumped his hand along his girth before slipping himself into your pussy. And that was the familiar thing he needed, clearing his mind as you whined, "I feel so full. My toy and my Daddy."
Bradley smirked and rubbed himself against the base as held your hips. "Just wait," he warned playfully. The pretty curve of your back had him running his hand up and everywhere along your silky skin. Your hair smelled like wildflowers when he kissed your back. And then you were begging him to do it. 
He reached for the lube and drizzled it all over you before coating his cock liberally. Then he fucked your pussy with steady strokes as he carefully eased the toy out of you as you gasped. Your perfect hole gripped along the plug, and Bradley had to count to ten to calm himself down. "Baby," he groaned, tossing the toy aside. "You ready?"
"Yes."
His cock was shiny and slick, resting on his palm, and then he was pressing himself to your asshole, convinced you were going to tell him to stop. You were so tight, he had to bite down on his lip as he pushed. And then you were whining, "More. More," as you squeezed the tip of him so much, he was afraid he'd black out. 
"Princess," he growled, head tipped back as he pushed slowly. So slowly. He was dizzy from it, the slow pace driving him to the edge. "So tight. Holy hell." And then you turned to look at him over your shoulder. Your eyes were glazed over with need, and your lips were parted softly. 
"Feels good," you gasped, and he reached out to run his thumb along your lip. You kissed him. You were perfect. He pushed himself a little deeper, and you kissed his thumb again. He looked down to see himself buried inside you as you licked his thumb. 
"God damn it," he cursed, and you squeezed him a little tighter. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." He dipped his thumb into your mouth and whispered, "I can't last like this. Too fucking good. So tight." He was shaking his head, but you were nodding and swirling your tongue along his thumb. He withdrew an inch and thrust, and you started keening. 
If Bradley managed even ten strokes inside your ass, it was a miracle. He went slowly, but it was too much. And you were loud, spurring him on with his thumb tucked between your lips and pressed to your tongue.
Every time you tightened around him, he knew he was going to cum. He was just biding his time for a few more seconds, and then it was too much. He tried to keep his movements steady and fluid as he came inside you, but they were a little jerky. He was grunting your name over and over, trying to get himself under control. "Are you okay?" he asked, voice rough as he slipped his thumb out of your mouth. 
"Mmm, yes," you moaned. "It only hurt a little, and then it felt good."
Bradley brought both hands to your hips and stroked you as he started to gently withdraw from your body. And then his jaw went slack as you were puckered around his tip. It was going to look so pretty, he just knew it. 
"Baby," he whined when he pulled himself free. His white cum was at your opening, and he watched that first droplet as it slid down to your pussy and dripped onto the bed. You were oozing with his finish, and he was transfixed. 
You said his name and made to roll over, but Bradley kept you still with his big hands on your thighs. "Shh," he coaxed as another long drop fell to the bed. And then he licked you clean as you mewled and whimpered. He lapped up every bit of his cum as it leaked out of you, and he cleaned up your pussy as well. 
"Bradley," you whispered as he gently rolled you to your back. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he settled on top of you, careful to keep his full body weight from hurting you. The fucked out, exhausted expression on your face made him smile.
"You did so good, Baby."
"I know," you agreed. "I liked it."
His lips were ghosting over yours as he asked, "Do you need anything? Want me to get a shower ready for us?"
"In a couple minutes," you replied easily. And then Bradley rolled you both to your sides and snuggled you against him with one big hand on your ass.
---------------------------
You were just trying to get through your day at work on Thursday. You just needed to make it to Friday morning when the three of you would be driving up to the lake house to meet Mav, Penny and Amelia. But two of your coworkers were out sick, and you had to pick up all the slack. You even had to text Bradley and let him know you wouldn't be able to pick Noah up or start dinner. 
Bradley Daddy Bradshaw: Take your time. I'll make sandwiches for dinner. See you at home.
Once you had all of the exam rooms cleaned and disinfected, Dr. Kelly found you and said, "Go home. Enjoy your long weekend with your family. That little Noah is the cutest thing."
You laughed and nodded. "Oh, he knows he's adorable. It's getting to be a problem. See you next week." 
Then you made your way to your car and thought about how you and Noah were most definitely going to wear Bradley down, and soon enough you'd have a dog at home. You'd even been working on a shortlist of names for when that fateful day arrived. You picked up a few pet themed coloring books on your lunch break, and when you pulled into the driveway, you took the bag from the front seat. 
The mail truck was just pulling up to your house; he must have been having a late day, too. You walked to the curb to meet him, and he handed everything to you with a wave. As you walked up to the porch, you picked your envelopes out of the stack and left Bradley's separate. Great, your student loan statement was here. You couldn't wait to see how your last payment barely put a dent in things. 
"Hi," you called out as you walked through the living room. "Sorry, I'm so late." But when you looked into the kitchen, Bradley was still in his uniform, calmly making a turkey and cheese sandwich and cutting it into little triangles while Noah colored. 
"Nothing to be sorry about," Bradley rasped, and you kissed his shoulder through his shirt. "I'll make your sandwich next." But you'd already moved on to Noah, smothering him in kisses while he laughed. 
"Check out this dog themed coloring book," you said loudly, earning a glare from Bradley as you set it down in front of Noah. "Isn't this little brown puppy on the cover just adorable?"
"I want a dog," Noah whined as he opened the cover and got to work. You were betting you'd have a dog by next month. 
"Relentless," Bradley groaned, and you wrapped your arms around him from behind. "Did you have a good day?" he asked. "Ready for the lake?"
"Yes. And definitely." He tried to hand you a sandwich on a plate, but you said, "Let me go through my mail first before I forget. I want to make sure I log in and make my student loan payment tonight before we leave in the morning." You took the sandwich from him and noticed that he looked a little timid now. "What's wrong?"
"Well. Nothing's wrong," he said quietly as you bit into the sandwich and then set it down again to open up your envelope. But he had you distracted, and you realized too late that you had opened a piece of his mail from Tracy by mistake. You skimmed along the page and you gasped as tears welled up in your eyes. 
I, Bradley Bradshaw, a legal adult of sound mind and competency, do hereby declare this to be my last will and testament (hereinafter, “Last Will & Testament”) and do hereby revoke any and all wills and codicils heretofore made jointly or severally by me.
In the event I shall die as the sole parent of minor child(ren), then I appoint as guardian over minor child(ren)
You stopped when you read your name and dropped the papers to the floor as you burst into tears. "Bradley," you gasped, and he looked up from where he was putting mayonnaise on a slice of bread. You bent to pick up the papers, but you were so emotional, you could barely see, so you just sat on the floor next to them and looked up at him. 
"What's wrong?" he asked, kneeling down and cupping your face in his hands. "Princess, tell me what's wrong."
You swiped at your tears with your hands and whispered, "You trust me that much?"
"What are you talking about, Baby?" he asked, and then he reached for one of the papers on the floor. "Your student loans?"
He was about to realize what you had read, so you quickly said, "I didn't mean to open it, I tore into the wrong envelope. I thought it was my student-"
Bradley silenced your sentence with a kiss as you sobbed. When he released your lips, you could still feel his nose on your cheek as you tried to get your breathing under control. "Yes. I trust you that much. If something happens to me, I know you'll take care of Noah."
You threw your arms around his neck and pushed him back onto his butt and climbed into his lap. "I would. I really would."
He held you close and softly said, "I was planning on telling you this weekend. The paperwork isn't finalized yet, but I can call Tracy's office and have it completed at any time."
You kissed him and said, "Call first thing tomorrow morning."
"Okay. I'll call first thing tomorrow morning." He was smiling as you let your forehead rest against his. 
"Why are you on the floor?" Noah asked, leaning over the table to look at you both. 
Bradley scooped you up as he stood and set you down on your feet, but you kept your arms around him. "Mommy was just being silly, Bub. How about you put the crayons down and eat your sandwich." Then he kissed your hair and said, "You better eat your sandwich, too."
You took your plate and the mail to the table and sat down across from Noah. You watched him sip his milk through a straw cup and then eat all of the cheese out of the sandwich first. He was perfect. And you'd never have to be without him. Bradley trusted you with his child more than anyone else. And you knew he wanted to have another one.
As he sat down next to you with his own sandwich and a beer, you opened your student loan envelope and started to read. But you could feel his eyes on you as he sipped his Heineken. 
"You okay, Daddy?" you asked softly, wiping at at stray tear.
"Just read your mail," he replied. When you looked back down at the paper in your hands, you saw that instead of nearly ten thousand dollars, your balance due for nursing school was zero.
"What did you do?" you gasped, looking him in the eye. 
He just shrugged and bit into his own sandwich, smiling as he chewed. "Paid off your loans. Your interest rate was so high, you'd still be paying on them by the time you're my age. Which is dumb when I have the money to take care of it now."
"Bradley!" Your eyes were welling with tears again as you said, "You didn't have to do that!"
His voice was stern as you crawled into his lap again. "I trust you with Noah, one hundred percent. The money doesn't matter as much as that."
You let your head rest on his shoulder as you straddled his thigh, and his big hand was rubbing your back. "You still didn't have to," you whispered. "But thank you. And now I can help you with your mortgage and bills instead."
"You just save your money, and we'll figure it out later."
But you already knew you'd talk him into letting you pay for something. And the rest could go into a savings account for school for Noah. And anything leftover could be used to plan for the exciting future you were going to experience with the two of them. 
---------------------------
Daddy keeps on winning now. And Princess doesn't have to worry about the things that shouldn't matter. Next up, the lake house. Thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls
PART 37
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astroph1les · 2 months
Text
only on camera | e.w
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summary: you and your girlfriend, ellie, find an old camcorder at local thrift store. it’s fun, domestic, and sweet until the two of you decide to use it to make your own personal movie.
pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader
contains: mature content, modern! ellie, established relationship, fluff, smut— oral (r!receiving), fingering (r!receiving), reader and ellie are roughly 19-20, ellie is obsessed with reader, reader is described to have a soft stomach and stretch marks so its open to all body types.
word count: 3.3K
a/n: i’ve been debating to post another ellie oneshot and even writing anymore for a while now because of everything that has been going on gaza. i hope you guys click on the links below to educate and keep yourself updated on the horrors that the people of gaza are going through. free palestine.
FREE PALESTINE | DAILY CLICK | DO NOT BUY TLOU2 REMASTERED
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It started on a simple thrifting date.
You and Ellie often shopped at your local thrift stores for a multitude of reasons: it's cheap for not only clothing but accessories as well. You had a slight addiction to the purse and jeans section. There was nothing you loved more than finding a good pair of jeans.
But today, you decided to linger in the electronics section. Ellie trailed behind you with a shopping cart that already had a bunch of pants and cheesy graphic tees for the two of you to try on.
You picked up a small speaker, examining it for its quality.
“Ellie?” You hum to Ellie who was already holding up a chunky VHS camera.
“Babe, check this out,” Ellie walked around the cart to hold up the flipped screen to you.
You set the speaker down on the metal shelf, leaning over to see that the early late 90’s camera was still working properly. With just your luck, too, there were a few tapes next to where Ellie had picked it up from.
“Holy shit, this still works?” You grin as you fidget with the settings. “Should we get this?”
Ellie let out a scoff before nodding: “Fuck yeah. We could record videos to look back on when we’re miserable and old as shit. Like thirty or something.”
You shake your head at her dramatics.
“Thirty is not old but yeah, it could be fun.” You lean into her side, pointing to the tapes and charger that were still plugged into the camcorder. “Grab the tapes, please?”
You tilt your head with a smile at her. Ellie blushes at the eye contact you made with her, kissing your cheek before taking the tapes and charger into her hands. She nervously scratched at her ear as she set the objects into the cart where the child seat was, hoping you didn't see how pink her cheeks turned.
God, she was so adorable.
She would deny the accusation constantly with a shake of her head and a mutter of ‘no, I’m not’ being the stubborn girl she is.
After trying that on all of the clothing, you ended up only narrowing down to a few pairs of jeans and the camera plus the equipment. Once you got back to Ellie’s place, it started out with a few recordings of you doing nothing.
“So, vlog, my beautiful, hot, and sexy girlfriend is getting ready for the day,” Ellie pressed record and held up the camera to you who was applying sunscreen to your freshly washed face. “Not that she needs to because, damn, look at her.”
You let out a groan as you shake your head, now applying your moisturizer right after.
“Babe, you can record at any other time. Why right now?” You chuckle as she just gets closer, zooming into your eyes.
“What do you have to say to your future self who is probably already very happily married to me?” Ellie ignores your complaint, grinning as she backs up a little to get your entire face into the frame.
“Is she still giving that good top?” You deadpan to which Ellie chuckles at.
“I wish I could stop, baby,” she cups your face with one hand, smirking from behind the camera.
“Els,’” you trail off, almost warningly as your cheeks flushed.
Without missing a beat, you playfully slap the camera out gently of your face. Ellie dramatically gasps at your actions, holding the camera at an angle so she can clean the lens with her black wife pleaser.
“Hey! You brought it up.” She shrugged her shoulders as if it were nothing, showing off her outfit in the full-body mirror on the back of the bedroom door.
You smile adoringly at her from your set-up in your vanity mirror, hearing her hype herself up. You had just applied a good amount of your base before motioning for her to come over to you once again. Ellie walked over to you, grinning happily.
“It’s your turn, Els,” you grab the chunky camera from her.
She reluctantly lets you take it from her and crosses her arms in front of her chest, looking at you patiently. You pan the camera up and down as she was wearing a very basic outfit but damn, she always looked good. The way she crossed her arms accentuated her biceps and the big tattoo on her forearm.
“What do you have to say to your future self, baby?” You look at her through the small screen and then at her in real life.
Ellie hummed as she scratched at her jaw. The awful lighting from just your open-blind window made it more homey to you.
“You better not fuck it up with this perfect girl right here.” Ellie points to you with a slight grin as she notices your own smile from behind the camera.
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A lot of the videos were just like that. Domestic and homey as the locations changed between your house and hers. Joel even made a few appearances like, for instance, his 58th birthday. All of your family and Joel’s threw a barbecue to which you and Ellie had traded interviewing your sides of the family.
Sarah gave a few loving words for her dad, Jesse, and Dina covered the lens the entire time Ellie tried to record them, and your parents made a few jokes about him being ‘damn near in the grave already.’
Now, you were standing in front of Joel who was working the grill. Ellie was busy already tearing into a few hot dogs so you took the time to ask him some questions.
“So, Joel, how do you feel being fifty-eight?” You record him.
“I feel the same as last year. Ain’t nothin’ special,” he shook his head as if you were bothering him but you knew he was just being a grump for the camera.
“Well, birthday boy, describe what it's like being almost sixty,” you chuckle as he places a hand on his hip, looking at you this time with raised brows.
“Old as hell. Now, here, eat.” He grumbled as he grabbed a hot dog for you and placed it on a paper plate.
You giggled as his southern accent was hilarious when he got all grumpy. He just sounded like a Texan grandpa who’s always complaining about kids these days.
“I figured. Happy birthday, Joel.” You warmly smile at him as you shut the small screen and walk over to hug him.
He tensed for a moment, holding the tongs out of the way. He relaxed into your embrace before pointing at your hot dog.
“Thanks, kid. Now, eat before the damn flies get to it first.” Joel kissed the top of your head before releasing your body.
You let out a soft laugh as you grabbed the white plate before walking over to where Ellie was sitting with her step-sister, Sarah. You send Sarah a smile as you set the camera down next to Ellie, watching her lick the mustard off of her fingers. You grimace at her messy eating before Sarah tells her to stop being gross.
Ellie put her middle finger up at her with an annoyed expression. You grabbed her finger and put it down as your parents were only a few feet away from the two of you.
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A few more days passed and you and Ellie had a rather sensual make-out session in her bedroom. Her hands were already up your Beatles oversized t-shirt, the feeling of her palms groping at your tits sending shivers up your spine. You were underneath her, your own hands cupping the sides of her face as you moaned softly into her mouth.
Ellie pulled away suddenly which only caused you to whine, missing her touch.
“Can I get the camera, baby?” She asked you, moving one of her hands down to your hips underneath your shirt and squeezing the flesh.
You nod your head frantically, not even hesitating. The idea was brought up maybe two minutes after purchasing the camera. Ellie said it as a joke but you knew that you would make a million sex tapes with your girl. She made you feel like the sexiest version of yourself and you were curious to see what that looked like on video. Plus, no risk of it getting stuck on the cloud of either of your phones.
Ellie leaned down to peck your lips as she stood up from her bed to grab it from the top of her dresser, right next to her cologne. You sit up slightly as you wait patiently for her to start the camera fixing your hair a bit. You knew the footage was solely going to be between you and her but it didn't hurt to try and make sure you look good.
“Look at my pretty girl,” Ellie’s voice is dripping in lust as she points the lens directly at your flushed and panting figure on the bed.
You somehow managed to blush even more, practically beaming at her compliment. You didn't know what to do now that it was a reality. All you were doing was looking up at her from her standing figure.
How did pornstars do this?
“What do you want me to do, hmm?” Ellie cupped your cheek, her inked arm coming into the frame.
Your face leaned into her touch, sighing at the feeling. Her thumb teasing ran over the swollen skin of your bottom lip. Being the horny shit you were, your jaw fell open in hopes Ellie would slip the finger into your awaiting mouth.
But no; she continued to trace the supple skin with a cocky grin on her face.
“You want my finger, baby?” Ellie hums as she tightens her grip ever so slightly.
“Maybe.” You raise your brows, your pupils blown with desire practically giving you away.
“Maybe?” She looks at you with her head tilted, her own brows raised to match yours. “The way you instantly opened your mouth said something way different.”
You shake your head and take her thumb into your mouth seconds after that, sucking on it with a smile. Ellie muttered a curse under her breath as she watched you through the pixelated screen, wondering how she got so lucky with you.
You, being the tease you are, pull away after about a minute to look up at her with need in your eyes. While still looking up at her, you removed your oversized tee to reveal your bare chest. Your hair settled over your shoulders, framing your face perfectly. You were only in your cheeky cotton maroon panties.
“Jesus, fuck me.” Ellie angled the camera down to your tits, having a little too much fun holding it.
“Alright, give me it, Els.” You snatched the camera from her, pointing it up at Ellie’s towering figure. “You want to eat me out or what?”
Ellie couldn't help but chuckle at your bluntness and confidence now that the camera wasn’t on you. Regardless, she kneeled down on the bed with a ready sigh. She leaned over the camera to capture your lips into a gentle kiss, making you smile giddily.
Your smile was infectious, Ellie, too, smiling so much to the point where she had to pull away. Ellie began to scoot more down your body as you pointed the camera down at her figure. She was caressing your sides as her lips kissed at your chest, moving more and more downwards to your tits. Your breath hitches as she takes your left nipple into her mouth, the warmth and wetness of her tongue sending pleasure down your spine.
Ellie palms both of your tits, looking up at the lens and then your flushed face from behind it. She continues to suck on your hard nipple, smirking when your hips buck into her own.
“Feels good, Els,” you whimper, your arms already becoming weaker.
Ellie hums against your damp skin, pulling away to grope and admire them. She was annoyingly still in her sports bra and her boxers, revealing nothing to you. If you weren't so clouded by the want of her mouth on your pussy, you would’ve said something.
Ellie’s long fingers hook at the waistband of your panties, looking up at you with a silent question of if it was okay. You nod with a grin, lifting your hips to help her. Ellie slid the dampened underwear down your legs. You could see the wet patch on the crotch area, a slight pang of embarrassment flowing through you.
Ellie, thankfully, began to place feather-soft kisses on the plush of your stomach. You watch her trail her lips down from your skin, inching closer to above your pubic bone.
“Fuck, baby, look at how wet you are,” Ellie teased your drenched folds, the obscene sound causing you to blush shyly.
She holds up her pointer and middle finger, the clear slick of your arousal glistening. She practically shoves them into the lens as you groan at her actions.
“Els, please, don’t. I don’t want my… juices on the camera.” You cringe at the way you phrased it but end up giggling at Ellie’s disgusted face.
“Well, I love your juices,” Ellie quickly grinned devilishly as she sucked off those fingers.
She drove you insane with the smallest things. When she kissed and caressed the plush of your hips and thighs, whispering how ‘sexy’ and ‘perfect’ you are to her. Even touching into the stuff you tended to be more insecure about like the stretch marks on your body.
You never worried about those toxic mind-consuming thoughts with Ellie.
”Can I see the camera, baby? Wanna get this view right here.” Ellie reached for it to which you handed back.
She aimed the camera lens more towards your crotch, legs spread to reveal how much your cunt was needing some release. You suck in a deep breath and adjust yourself as Ellie muttered praises as she ran her fingers carefully over your throbbing clit and soaked folds.
Beginning to grow impatient, you let out a soft noise. Ellie notices that you are becoming more and more needy for something, anything, so she leans over your panting body and sets the camera on the bedside table. The small screen was flipped so that Ellie could adjust it so that the two of you were in the frame. Your hands find their way over Ellie’s body and up into her hair.
You tug her down into a messy kiss, humming as Ellie is caught off guard by your force and nearly slipping from how she was holding herself up with one arm. She moaned softly against your lips, enjoying how your nails were scraping against her scalp.
She hungrily moved down your body, growing impatient herself. You pant softly as you watch her place messy kisses on the curves of your skin as she finally makes her way to your desperate cunt. You let out a soft sigh as she licks one teasing stripe over your clit.
“Look so pretty, Els.” You murmur as you move her falling strands of hair out of her face, a slight whine leaving your mouth.
And, god, she really did. Her eyelids were heavy over her gorgeous eyes as she looked up at you with a slight smile on her lips. She lazily kissed over the sensitive bud, that cheeky smile growing as your hips stuttered.
“My sweet girl.” She teased two fingers over your wet folds, letting out a groan at the obscene sight.
You continue to caress her face and head of hair, never wanting to tear your eyes away from your girlfriend. She glanced up at you as she carefully slid her middle finger into your warm cunt. She kept telling you how good you felt around her fingers and how much she missed your ‘perfect pussy’.
For a moment, you forgot about the camera that was recording your every move. The mic picks up every whine, moan, the sound of Ellie’s fingers fucking into you.
“Baby,” you pant, allowing your hips to grind and follow her curling fingers.
Ellie merely hummed in question as she peered up at you with hooded eyes. You nearly forgot what you were going to be begging for.
More. You just needed more. More of her touch and her lips everywhere. The tightening coil in your lower abdomen and the desperate hump of your hips alerted you that you were getting closer to your orgasm.
“I’m gonna cum,” you admit, feeling almost embarrassed by how quickly it was happening.
Ellie pulled her mouth off of you as her arm continued to pump her fingers inside of you. Your chin tilts up, hands reaching up to cradle her face. Ellie hungrily leaned down to kiss you, moaning at the sound of you whimpering against her slick-covered lips.
You were whispering pleads as she continued to fuck you like her life depended on it. Ellie leaned back to look down at her movements before glancing at the camera.
“Cum for me, baby. Need something to help me later on when I watch this over and over just to see how beautiful you look cumming for me.” Ellie groans into your ear.
Your hand reaches down to grip at her wrist but Ellie grabs your hand to kiss at your palm as another form of stimulation. You whine as your hips stutter and you feel a sharp feeling running down your spine. Ellie mutters curses as she feels you clamp down on her two fingers as your orgasm takes over.
You let out a few louder moans as you sit up carefully to let yourself ride out the orgasm.
“Fuck, Els,” you whisper as you try and come down from the high as easily as possible.
“Hey, hey, lay back, baby,” Ellie ever so slightly pressed on your lower abdomen so that your back was against the mattress once again.
Feeling light and lazy, you do as she had told you. You take slow breaths as you shut your eyes. Ellie’s body hovers over yours for a moment and you hear the hard plastic being lifted from the bedside table. You open one eye to see Ellie was aiming the camera towards the cum that was leaking. Her already wet fingers were running through your folds, being as filthy as ever.
“How’s it look?” You hum with a playful grin.
“You know, perfect, I guess,” Ellie shrugs her shoulders but her grin tells you she’s matching your energy.
As tired as you were, you wanted to make Ellie feel good too. You sit up to come face to face with her, leaning close to capture her lips into a gentle kiss. Ellie hums against your lips, setting the camera on the empty mattress right next to you both. Pulling away, you take her hand that was inside of you and raise it to your lips.
“You're gonna wanna record this, Els,” You tilt your head towards the still-recording camera.
Ellie didn't have to be told twice as she leaped for the boxy hunk of plastic and aimed the lens at your pretty plumped lips. You lick up the length of her fingers, tasing your own arousal. Ellie watched you through the small screen, wondering how fucking lucky she got with you.
You had no idea who infatuated the freckled girl was with you. Your eyes flickered to Ellie behind the camera, her pale skin practically a poppy red shade from how flustered she was. You popped off her long fingers, kissing the pads of her middle and ring fingers before sitting back on your ass as you looked at her with raised eyebrows.
“You think I’ll be a star?” You ask again, playing into the pornstar role-play.
Ellie blew a huff of air as she cupped your face to peck at your lips: “Without a doubt, babe.”
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ventismacchiato · 1 year
Text
32 behind the lens — sad quotes bot !
scaramouche x g!n reader
__________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐
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Almost a week has passed and you haven’t spoken a single word to Kuni in that time. You’ve been rather busy doing streams with your camera on but pretending to be okay with millions of your fans watching was beginning to look difficult. You received a few confused texts from Jean when she saw your reveal, but she didn’t question you further than that.
Class became burdensome as you could only stare longingly at the back of Kuni’s head. He arrived right on time and left without bidding your farewell. He never even turned his head in your direction. He wasn’t being outwardly mean but you’d rather have him yell at you then pretend you didn’t exist.
Childe had texted you that morning updating you on Kuni. He was in the same boat as you, ignoring his meals and plunging all his energy into work.
You follow him out of class that day.
It took you a while to find him, his monotone outfit blending in with every other student. But you eventually caught up and grabbed ahold of his backpack, causing him to stumble before turning back. He flinches at the sight of you.
“Hey,” you greet, “Can we talk?”
He reaches out to remove your hand from his backpack and shakes his head, about to turn around before you speak up once more. Desperate.
“Please?”
Kuni stares past you for a few seconds, an unreadable expression adorning his face.
“Didn’t I ask you to leave me alone?” he eventually says, his voice lacking any warmth it once held before. How could the same lips uttering such cruel words be the same ones that were on you skin mere days ago? Your stomach was sinking.
“Yes,” you lamely answer. It felt like you were being scolded like a child, “I just thought I’d check on you.” Screw Childe for giving you false hope.
“I don’t need you to check on me,” he spits, “I don’t need you.”
Now you were the one who flinched.
“You don’t mean that,” you eventually say as students mill past.
Scara opens his mouth to say something else but quickly closes his lips shut.
“I said give me time so I don’t say something I regret,” he sighs, “Bye,” he mutters and shoves past you.
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behind the lens !
masterlist — prev | next
typo in slide 1: toasting a poptart*
childe changed scaras wallpaper to nayeon to cheer him up :3
author’s notes — if you rmbr when i accidentally posted this no u don’t (gaslighting)
synopsis — you, better known as STARDUST, and BALLADEER have always been in competition for the top streamer spot on twitch, which is especially impressive since the two of you have never shown your faces. you’ve never been on good terms, constantly one-upping each other in matches and getting into petty arguments on twitter, causing your fans to also dislike each other. that’s until BALLADEER does a face reveal that breaks the internet with his good looks…which makes you realize it’s the same guy you went on a date with last night. the type of date that made you crave to see him again. the only problem was he didn’t know you were STARDUST and he was way different behind the lens than he portrayed himself online to you. should you keep your identity a secret to salvage the relationship or just let him go?
taglist — @captainzep @elysiumarchieve @plinkuro @sakkakuu-squared @eliqusgenma @vuvulia @kunikuzushiit @ins4nebish @stxrgxzxr @lilneps @uma-umie @kcbenis @mitsukifilms @caesars-bubbles @wheneverthesunrise @its-like-twilight @kazuhalvrr @erosdevil @thenightsflower @p1utto @noodleshark420 @lxry-chxn @court-jester-stuff @lauragalliart @veyu002 @kaeyas-eyepatch-69 @leathernourishingshoepolish @satowaluverr @lexlapis @drunkwithfever @exhaustedcommunist @vincanzu @ainlaw @ovaliz @kitsuvil @whatamidoing89 @celestair @kunihaver @kazioli @xiaosoneandonly @cridtiins @cherrybeomgyu @asukahiriko @moon-320 @orionicchaos [1/3]
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imaluckygirl · 10 hours
Text
⭑ i love my girlfriend
( enha reaction ) - HYUNG LINE
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synopsis: when you tell them to use the shirt you bought — i love my girlfriend shirt — when you’re done with random girls coming up and flirting with your boyfriend.
❕𝐞n𝐡𝐚!m𝐞𝐦be𝐫x fe𝐦!r𝐞ad𝐞𝐫 ⋆ ge𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff ⋆ w𝐚𝐫n𝐢n𝐠𝐬 .ᐟ : curse words
❔ 𝐧ot𝓮𝓼: helloooooooo!! im back and afraid that you guys are sick of this i love my gf thing, but i promise ill try to post another headcanon later 🙏 there are a lot of ideas popping in my head, but im mostly of the time busy, so its hard to write an update every single day 😞 anyways, hope you guys enjoy this one~~
english is not my first language, so it might contain a bunch of grammar errors.
taglist and requests are open .ᐟ
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heeseung would be surprised but taking it casually, like he was used to wear that shirt. his brows were raised and his mouth was opened, forming the shape of a circle. he then asked you: “do you want me to wear this?” and when you nodded he chuckled, taking a look at the t-shirt you handed him, printed with: i love my girlfriend. with the heart shape and all. he smiled, still not sure if you were being serious or joking, so he asked you again: “are you serious?” you sighed before answering. “give it back if you’re not up to wear it then.” when you were just about to snap the shirt from his hands, he backed up holding the shirt to his chest tightly. “i’ll wear it.”
and a walk to a nearby cafe was more embarrassing for you than for him. heeseung couldn’t stop greeting strangers in the street and pointing at his shirt and then at you, like he was confirming you were his girlfriend — and you constantly smacked his arm telling him to stop while you blushed. “yeah she’s my future wife!” heeseung yelled at an old lady across the street. “oh, congrats.” she would reply yelling back; smiling and giving both of you a thumbs up.
and trust me, heeseung knows exactly the reason why you asked him to wear that shirt.
jongseong would be in denial, but it doesn’t mean he would deny wearing it in the end. you knew your boyfriend was hot. and hot as fuck. but you weren’t prepared to deal with the amount of girls that tried to make your boyfriend theirs. “babe, no...” he shook his head. “please?” you pouted. “love of my life, i’m not wearing it. we already go out wearing matching clothing. why do i even have to wear that?” “do you need a whole explanation, jongseong?” oh no, not the government name. after a moment of silence, he answered: “okay, i’ll wear it babe.” “really? you know you have the free will to deny it.” he knows he doesn’t.
when both of you went out to go shopping, jongseong tried so hard to ignore the fact that there was a ton of people looking at him and pointing at his shirt discreetly. not to mention the girls eyes all over him. however, when they realised you were his girlfriend, and was even by his side clenched to his arm, their smile dropped while you smiled proudly.
“you’re happy?” your boyfriend asked you when he heard a giggle coming out of your mouth, making him smile with the thought of your happiness. “yes. very happy.”
jaeyun would think it’s a joke, but he would definitely be down anyways. when you told you wanted him to go out wearing that t-shirt instead of the shirt he was currently wearing, he would glance at it while you hold it and hand it for him and eventually laugh. “yeah? do you want me to wear it?” your boyfriend was clearly teasing you, thinking you were teasing him as well. “mhm-hm.” you nodded. “i’ll wear it then.” he would purse his lips nodding as well, thanking you after you handed him the shirt. “mind explaining your boyfriend why?” “it’s obvious.” you replied, shrugging. “no, tell me the reason behind it.” “no~ you’ll figure it out pretty quickly, now wear it.”
update: he didn’t figure it out that quickly, meaning that you had to explain him that you were pissed with those girls checking him out or interrupting your date night with him every single time or when you were with him. and wanna know a funny story? a girl tried to get your boyfriend’s number thinking you were his sister, even though jaeyun just kissed you a second before she walked at him??
jaeyun would be feel so shy after your explanation, and he didn’t care about the eyes that followed him and dropped right at his shirt; as he held your hand and walked next to you, feeling proud that he has such a cute and jealous girlfriend.
sunghoon would say no; and yeah, straight to the point. “sunghoon~ wear this! for me!” “mhm, no.” he would scrunch his nose at the sight of his shirt. “so you want other girls flirting with you while your girlfriend is next to you?” you frowned when he shook his head once again. “why? you know i only have eyes for you.” “hoonie, wear this shirt. pretty please.” you pout, but he just shook his head pursing his lips with his eyes closed; in a very cartoonish way.
well, haters can suck it up because that was not the day that they would win the moment your boyfriend gave up and agreed with wearing that shirt, realising that no matter how much he tries to, he wouldn’t be able to keep insisting. however, even though he ‘agreed’ with wearing that shirt , he was blankly staring somewhere ( ?? ) while going out with you because he was just too embarrassed to make eye contact with anyone — he was even embarrassed to make eye contact with you, but was gripping onto your hand very tightly to make sure you don’t feel left out or upset; and later give him the most feared thing a boyfriend can suffer: silent treatment *jumpscare*
even though he didn’t enjoy wearing the shirt, sunghoon would be so fucking proud to show that he you’re his girlfriend; and the love of his life. you were getting a drink for both of you while sunghoon was waiting near to you, when a girl came and asked for his number. i think he would say “i can’t give you my number.” or he would just say “no.” and point at you and at his shirt, proceeding to run to you after you finally got the drinks.
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© imaluckygirl , originals .ᐟ 24.
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luvkyu · 9 months
Text
injury ( seo changbin )
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changbin x male!reader
changbin finds out his boyfriend was injured at a volleyball game.
content : 1.8k words, angst & fluff, idol!bin x athlete!reader, mentions injuries/hospitalization, crying
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changbin patted his face down with a towel, panting lightly as he got up from his short rest on the cold studio floor. the other members were also taking a minute to relax before continuing with the dance practice for their highly anticipated comeback.
after changbin went over to his water bottle and took a sip, the group's manager busted through the door in hectic worry. everyone looked at the man in confusion, but his own eyes traveled the room in search of only one member. when he finally found changbin, he hurried over to him.
"is everything okay?"
"what's going on?"
their manager was more focused on changbin than the others' questions, which only worried changbin further.
"you didn't hear, i'm assuming?" their manager asked. changbin looked at him with furrowed brows, his gaze moving from the man in front of him to his friends around the room.
"hear about what..?" he responded.
"ah.. um, y/n got hurt at his volleyball game.."
changbin's chest tightened. fear began coursing through his body as the others gathered closer to the two of them.
"what?? is he okay? what happened?" changbin asked frantically. the other shook his head.
"i'm not sure what exactly happened. they were broadcasting the game and i just know he got hurt and he's been taken to a hospital."
"holy shit.." changbin took a second to process the information before hurrying to get his things. "i have to go see him.. um, where-"
"i'll text you the details about where they took him, go go!" their manager assured as he whipped out his phone. changbin smiled thankfully and rushed to throw his bag over his shoulder.
"i'll come with you!" chan cut in, going to get his own things to join his friend.
"keep us updated, please!" felix shouted after the two as they departed from the studio. changbin's mind was completely out of it, but chan made sure to give the members a confident nod.
changbin, with slightly shaking hands, pulled his phone out and went to call his partner as fast as he could. with the phone then pressed to his ear, chan led him outside to a car.
"fuck, he's not answering.." he mumbled as tears pricked at his eyes.
"they're probably just taking care of him at the hospital and he can't get to his phone right now. i'm sure he's fine, changbin, really," chan comforted, now rubbing his back. changbin nodded quickly.
"yeah, that's possible.." he trailed off. chan could tell from his face that all the worst possible scenarios were filling his head.
"hey, come on. let's go find him.. everything's gonna be fine," chan assured him as they finally got settled into the car.
while chan drove, changbin constantly checked his phone for something from his boyfriend. receiving nothing, light tears began leaving his eyes while he quickly swiped them away with his jacket sleeve.
"i feel so stupid.." he muttered, looking down at his phone in his hands. chan's head snapped over to look at him, going between the male and the road.
"what, why??"
changbin sighed as he wiped another tear the second it started trailing down his cheek.
"he's gotta be okay, right? game injuries happen.. so why am i getting this worked up.."
"the only thing you should feel stupid for is thinking you're stupid," chan stated. changbin looked over at him now.
"huh?"
"he's your boyfriend. your very longtime boyfriend, at that. it's okay and normal to be worried or cry over something like this," the older explained. changbin raked a hand through his hair and nodded.
"i guess so.. thanks."
before chan could say anything else, changbin's phone finally rang with the call he'd been waiting for. he quickly tapped the green pick up button and pressed the device to his ear.
"y/n?!"
"hi, babe.."
changbin's heart sank at the tiredness in his voice. at the moment, all he was worried about was y/n, but he knew one of y/n's biggest worries right now was probably his career. a bad injury that caused lasting effects could ruin things.
"are you alright?? we're on the way now, i'll be there soon."
"i'm alright, bin. i actually didn't think you knew yet so i was calling to tell you. i thought you couldn't watch the game this time because of your schedule with stray kids?"
"ah, no, i couldn't watch. we were practicing for the comeback but our manager found out and told me."
"ohh, okay. well, i'm okay for the most part."
"for the most part?"
"well.. i dunno, i think it might be serious but the doctors are still confirming."
"ah.. i'm sorry, babe. we'll be there in like twenty-ish minutes, okay?"
"okay, i love you."
"i love you too, so much."
changbin sighed as his phone left his ear and they ended the call.
"he's okay?" chan asked.
"i think so.. he said the injury might be serious. i know he's worried about volleyball more than anything right now," he answered dejectedly.
"hopefully it's not as bad as he thinks," chan encouraged. changbin nodded at this before looking out of the window.
the rest of the ride was silent with the exception of the radio playing softly. once the two arrived, changbin was quick to hurry inside and find his boyfriend. chan followed suit, soon being directed to y/n's room.
changbin entered in a rush, seeing his partner laying exhausted in one of the hospital beds with his left leg elevated a bit. changbin felt tears threaten at his eyes again, but gave it no thought as he rushed to y/n's side.
"y/n," he called softly. a smile lifted on y/n's lips at the sight of his boyfriend. he felt changbin place kiss after kiss all over his face, laughing a bit at the received affection.
"bin, i'm alright, see?" y/n teased while changbin pulled away now, smiling at his positive attitude.
"i was really worried.."
y/n nodded at this and took changbin's hand, the latter sitting in the chair placed by his bed. y/n's sights drifted over to chan, who was simply standing behind changbin letting the two have their moment.
"you brought a stray kid! hi, channie," y/n greeted warmly. being changbin's boyfriend for almost four years now, he'd gotten very close to the other members as well.
"hi, y/n! i'm sorry about the injury.."
y/n gave him a soft smile in response before looking back at his boyfriend. changbin's eyes were gentle and sparkling with small tears, making y/n frown.
"no no, don't cry. i'm gonna be fine, baby," y/n assured, his grip on the other's hand tightening in attempts to comfort him. changbin only nodded. he knew y/n would be fine, and yet the tears seemed to keep coming.
"alright, mister l/n!" the three boys turned their attention to y/n's doctor as he came into the room.
"we have your diagnosis now.. i'm assuming because of all your experience in volleyball, you know about acl injuries?" he asked. y/n sighed and nodded.
"acl injuries?" changbin repeated.
"an anterior cruciate ligament injury, unfortunately that's what we're working with," the doctor replied regretfully. changbin's eyes moved from his boyfriend to the doctor, still a little confused. y/n chuckled at his clueless expression.
"it's okay, bin. do you mind explaining it to him?" he asked the doctor, who smiled and shook his head.
"not at all. essentially, it's a torn ligament in the knee. the acl is the tissue that connects the thighbone to the shinbone right at the knee. it's actually a pretty common injury among athletes," the doctor explained. changbin nodded.
"well, so.. does that mean it's easily treated? where do we need to go from here?" changbin questioned. the hope and determination in his tone made y/n smile.
"unfortunately, it's not something you just heal from like 'that'," he informed the other with a snap of his fingers. "y/n will need surgery and physical therapy afterwards. often times, this can take up to a year, so i'm sorry to say you won't be able to play volleyball or anything else for a good while."
y/n looked down and nodded. changbin's lips thinned into a line as his thoughts ran around his brain in chaos. he knew this was what y/n was afraid of.
"the good news is that you should recover just fine with the therapy, and eventually you'll be able to get back at it again," the doctor added.
changbin looked at y/n again, who just nodded and gave him a weak grin in response.
"i'll leave you alone to process things and be with your friends. i'll come back with a nurse to talk more later, okay?"
once the doctor left the room, y/n's tears hit. changbin's heart broke at the sight.
"y/n, i'm so sorry," he comforted as he got up to hug him. chan looked at his friend a bit awkwardly before sending him a smile and pointing to the door. changbin only nodded at this, watching chan slip out to leave the couple alone.
after some minutes of continuous tears, changbin pulled away to see y/n a little better. he moved y/n's hair away from his face and smiled.
"it's gonna be okay, babe."
y/n nodded and sniffled lightly, not letting go of his boyfriend's hand.
"i feel like i let my team down.." he mumbled.
"y/n, no. you got hurt, you didn't do anything wrong," changbin protested. when y/n didn't answer, changbin gently lifted his chin to make their eyes meet.
"you didn't do anything wrong," he repeated. y/n finally nodded before releasing another sigh.
"bin?"
"hm?"
"can you come up here?.." y/n asked as he patted the bed.
"ah.. i don't know if i should. even if there's room for me, i don't think you should be moving a lot," he replied in worry. y/n frowned and nodded, which only made changbin more sad.
"alright, alright. but be careful, please," he gave in. y/n smiled in triumph before cautiously moving over to make room for his partner.
once changbin settled in beside him, he wrapped his arms around y/n tightly. a warm feeling filled y/n's chest at the other's strong arms and the sound of his steady heartbeat, eventually drifting off to the sound like a lullaby.
"rest well, my love."
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ravixen · 10 months
Note
Hi hi! I just saw ur reply to my comment to ur “svt + forgetting your date” and I wanted to make a request if possible. I was hoping the same concept but with Jun, The8, and DK and possibly Jeonghan? If not, that’s totally cool and understandable. LOVE UR WORK BTW!! ❤️
svt + forgetting your date (pt 2)
➔ reaction || requested
➔ warnings: none || 0.9k words ➔ notes: general ; thanks for the love! writing for four members is definitely okay :) it follows my guidelines. if people enjoy reading my stuff, please reblog instead of spam liking!
JEONGHAN: him and his big mouth. when you call, voice petulant as you ask if he's standing you up, he laughs and says, "yeah, I am." the issue lies in the fact that he thinks it's a bit and waits for the punchline while you are waiting for him outside of the movies fifteen minutes after your scheduled meet up time. "...so are you actually not on your way?" he tilts his head. "on my way where? listen, i'm with joshua right now. can I call you back later?" he's so confused when you hang up with an annoyed don't bother. it takes hours for him to realize what's wrong. he hangs out with joshua, he goes home to shower, and he hops on his phone while waiting for his food delivery to arrive. that's when he sees your friend's insta story; it's a boomerang with a movie stub and you holding up a bucket of popcorn in the background. the caption I'M the boyfriend now >:) is what finally gets his head on straight, and he's dialing your number immediately...only to get sent to voicemail. he'll have to grovel for your forgiveness with more than his usual smooth words, and for a good while, he decides to stop playing around whenever he's not sure. it's better to be boring than to upset you again.
JUNHUI: he is constantly attached to his phone, so to say that you're pissed at him for not responding when you actually need him is an understatement. then you check his insta story and see that he's out with his china-line crew as of an hour ago, and that makes your anger boil over because you've been waiting here for nearly twenty minutes and he's eating hot pot? you text him don't talk to me for the rest of the night before stuffing your phone in your pocket and heading home to sulk. on junhui's end, he hears his phone ding, but his friends wave it off. "don't be distracted at the table," one of them complains when he reaches for it. "tell us about that story you never finished—the one from the award show." he hesitates. "I'll just check it really quickly. what if it's an emergency?" they concede with an eye roll, but his heart sinks as he sees all the missed notifications from you. um...does an angry partner count as an emergency? he'll finish spending time with his friends, though he'll bow out of their dessert boba run, and he'll respect your wishes about being left alone. that at least give him the rest of the night to think of how to make this up to you.
SEOKMIN: two weeks ago, you asked seokmin if he's sure he didn't need to put your date in his calendar. his response was this: of course not! you think I'd forget about you that easily? paired with a stunning smile that reassured you in the moment. well, that smile is gone now as he realizes that he double-booked himself, and what doesn't help is the fact that his friends brought him to the same cafe where you sit waiting in the corner, sipping on a drink. you don't say anything when you make eye contact; you just raise an eyebrow and go back to your phone, which is worse, he thinks. even though he messed up, you're giving him the grace of not being called out in front of his friends. but then one of them spots you. "hey, isn't that your partner? what a coincidence! do you want to call them over—we have an empty spot!" at their waving, you come over and take a seat next to him, laughing about how this is such an interesting coincidence. he hopes no one notices that he sinks in his seat, a little quieter than usual. from then on, he's definitely updating his calendar as soon as you schedule a date.
MINGHAO: whenever he has a stressful day, he likes to remove himself from everything, go to a quiet area, and perform a tea ceremony. sometimes he'll invite his friends, but sometimes he'd rather be alone, letting the sounds of nature and his own breathing wash over his frayed senses. today he can't go anywhere else, so he heads to a quiet back room and settles for playing ambient sounds on his phone. technically he doesn't forget your dinner date—he just gets so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't know how much time has passed until you poke your head through the door and ask where the food is. "the what?" you blink. "the food? I thought you said you were going to cook today while i ran errands," you say, looking at him strangely as he scrambles for his phone. "sorry, I didn't realize it was this late..." he gives you a sheepish smile. "how about getting take out delivery instead?" after a moment of silence, you mumble that you're fine with that. he'll make it up to you later; he knows you were looking forward to the dish he's been promising for a week.
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mirandasidefics · 5 months
Text
But Home is Nowhere
Pairing(s): Lucien X Plus Size Reader, Azriel X Plus Size Reader
Part 1 Summary: Reader is pulled into Prythian by an unknown force and comes face to face with members of the Night Court. However, the welcome is less than warm.
Word Count: 3.9K
Warning(s): Minor violence, minor self-harm, mentions of body issues/past self-harm.
A/N: This is my first ACOTAR fic and first story I've even considered posting since 2013, so please be gentle. The story is fully outlined, but due to the fact that I work full time and really weird hours updates will be once a month. Use of cisfemale descriptors used. Key: (Y/N )-Your Name, (e/c)-eye color, (h/c)-hair color.
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You gathered your belongings as you did everyday before heading into work. ‘Phone, wallet, keys, charger, make-up…’ the list in your head prattled on as you secured each item in the black backpack. Once satisfied that you had everything you needed you swung the leaden object over your left shoulder. Pausing before the near full-length mirror at your door you tucked a strand of (h/c) hair behind you ear. Your (e/c) orbs roamed over for anything that could be out of place. It took a considerable amount of effort not to let your gaze pause on the parts of yourself that you hated. You pulled the dark red sweater down, covering your large and sagging lower belly and too wide hips. You debated on going back to put shapewear on so your muffin top didn’t hang over your dark black skinny jeans too much, but you were already running late. You quickly slipped your dress flats on to your feet as you whispered a small affirmation to yourself. ‘Everything happens for a reason.’
You were not looking forward to today. The laundry list of to-do tasks was miles long. Hours of work meetings, followed by even more hours of research and writing for your thesis. You were always writing. You paused again to double check that you had the required USB drive that held your many months’ worth of research. A quick glance reassured it was safely tucked away on the hook in your pack, and you stiffly grasped the handle of the front door. No sooner than pulling the door open, your feet tripped over the lip of the frame, and you plummeted down through the threshold.
Bracing for a faceplant against concrete, you were surprised to find soft grass under your fingertips. The grass was a deep rich shade of green and still held the wetness of early morning-dew. Slowly lifting your head, you glanced around the spot where you fell. You immediately noticed that you were no longer at the threshold of your duplex if the wide expanse of grass was to be trusted. Slower still, you raised yourself up on your knees. The sky you looked at was now clear of the pale grey clouds you spied out of your bedroom window only minutes before. The bright yellow-white sun was high enough above to indicate that it was midday. A chilled and briny breeze floated across your shoulders and caused strands of your hair to blow away from your face. You pushed your glasses a little further up the bridge of your nose as you took in the distant buildings to your left. Not a single one of the simple brick and mortar buildings appeared to be more than 3 to 4 floors in height. Further down you could make out some shops and an open square. It reminded you more of a smaller European town than of a bustling city suburb. Yet the buzz in the air told you that there was much more than what met your eyes. You could only make out a few figures as they darted through a bustling crowd. Despite the feeling that there were a large number of inhabitants in the city beyond, there wasn’t a single sound of a motorized vehicle. Your head tilted up to examine the vast blueness above you, looking for any sign of the planes that constantly passed over your home, but the sky was also empty. You held your breath, willing for the sound of a jet engine to be heard in the distance. All was silent, except for the brush of the wind and bubbling of water. You turned toward your right an observed a large house that sat just along the river’s edge. Your eyes followed the winding path of the turquoise water as it stretched into a decent sized bay, complete with docks and what appeared to be old wooden sailing ships. You felt like you had stepped back in time.
Panic began to seep into your bones. You could clearly tell that you were no longer in your own city, but where you were…that was wholly unknown to you. Was this even real? Maybe you hit your head when you tripped and this is all just some dream. Yeah, that had to be it. You reached for the backpack that had landed at your side when a shadow flew over you. A heavy thud was heard to your right and your head whipped up to look at the dark silhouette that now towered over head. You initially thought there had been the shape of wings along the figure’s outline, but after blinking away the shards of sunlight that your hand didn’t block, you determined that it must have been your imagination.
“Well hello there,” a velvety smooth tenor reached your ears, “You’re not an associate of Ms. Quinlan’s, are you?”
                “W-What?” Your voice trembled, a strong metallic scent radiated from the man as he knelt down. Your breath caught in your throat. He was absolutely stunning. You mentally slapped yourself after feeling your jaw literally drop. You could have sworn his eyes held flecks of starlight in them. However, his humorless chuckle sent a shiver down your spine.
                “Do you know Bryce?” He surveyed you this time.
                “I don’t…I don’t know any Bryce,” You couldn’t help the rise of your flight response start to kick in, “Where am I?” A part of you didn’t dare look away, but you had to gage your possible exits out of the periphery of your vision.  The man continued to stare and evaluate you. You swallowed thickly in an attempt to clear the non-existent obstruction that was your unease and opened your mouth to ask another question. Before you could speak the man cut you off, placing his hands in his pockets.
                “If you’re not here for or because of Bryce,” Something about his darkened expression filled your bones with fear, “then, unfortunately, I’m not in a position to readily trust you. I must protect my people. I hope you understand that my actions are nothing personal.” Confusion laced your features at his words and you clutched your bag tightly against your chest.
Without warning your entire body froze as what felt like ice cold claws scratched against the surface of your skull. Fear gripped you tightly, the need to run or fight back utterly demolished as you locked eyes with the man. He truly didn’t appear to be bothered in the slightest over how terrified you were.
‘Mother above…he’s going to kill me.’ Your mind reeled and you were certain that you would have emptied your bladder had you not done so before exiting your home. You couldn’t get your voice to cooperate, to beg for mercy as the claws gripped your skull harder. You couldn’t even scream as you felt the flesh tear near your right temple. Your heart beat erratically, hoping it would give out before you could feel any of the pain that was sure to accompany your death. It took all of your mental strength to dampen the fear down and whisper the prayer you incorporated into your own practice so long ago.
“Mother hold me, let me pass through the gates into that immortal land of milk and honey. Let me fear no evil, feel no pain, and let me enter eternity.” Eyes still locked with the man you saw a glimmer of…you honestly had no clue what emotion it was that passed over his expression. But as soon as it passed the feeling of the claws were gone and air rushed back into your lungs. The man stood to his full height and continue to stare at your gasping form. A rush of nausea swept over you and you heaved. The stomach acid burned your throat more than normal after not eating anything for well over 24 hours.
You spit the remaining mucus onto the grass and you were suddenly hauled up to your feet. His grip on your forearm was so tight you could already feel the bruises forming. While the man’s features appeared calm and unbothered, his eyes simmered with caution. However, he remained silent as darkness converged on you both. Your stomach rolled and plummeted with the sensation of your body in free fall, but the man’s grip never lessened. Suddenly your feet impacted against solid stone. Your vision blurred and your other arm reached out towards anything to purchase itself to keep you up right. Your throat burned again but the stomach acid never reached your mouth. Your outstretched hand finally found a wall and you clung onto it for dear life.
The surface was cool and rough to the touch. You chanced a glance around and found yourself in a small dimly lit room. The walls and floor appeared to have been carved directly out of the stone. The dampness to the air clued you in that you were not inside a building, but some structure more akin to a cave. The room held no furniture, unless you counted the metal sconce that held the only source of light. You did a double take as the light itself was strange, appearing to be condensed to the size of a lightbulb, but it was quickly obvious that there was no material encasing its source. Was there even a- your thoughts were interrupted by the screeching of metal hinges as a single wooden door swung open.
A second man appeared in the entry way and ducked down to avoid hitting his head on the top of the frame. Once he was fully inside the room you couldn’t believe your eyes. You blinked several times yet the insanely large bat like wings never disappeared. You attempted to take in his dark appearance, but shadows seemed to swirl around him. He wore a scaly leather outfit that appeared to be some type of armor. You couldn’t tell if it was multiple pieces or a single body suit in the dim silver light, but that didn’t matter as soon as you saw the first of the seven blue stones intermingled into his outfit. Your eyes widened. The first man handed the newcomer your bag, allowing you to get a good look at his winged back. You immediately noticed there were no straps that held the wings in place. Nor were they attached to the clothing he wore, but rather connected to and protruding from the skin underneath. With this realization the room spun as their soft voices drifted over towards you, but you couldn’t make out what was said as your knees gave out and everything went dark.
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When you finally awoke the room was cold, dark, and damp; which sadly reminded you that recent events weren’t just a dream. You found that you were now alone, but weren’t sure if that was a good sign. There was no telling if either of the men-no males- would come back. A part of you hoped that someone would at least give you answers, even if just to tell you that you would rot away in this cell. If that was the case, why didn’t the first male just follow through with killing you? What caused him to stop and bring you to this place you now found yourself? Unsure of what to expect you backed yourself up into a corner on the opposite side from the door. A dim light filtered through the wood panels and space between the door and ground. You could hardly call what you sat upon a floor given all the dirt and rocks. Unfortunately, it did little to comfort you while the room was largely in shadow. Despite your best efforts and desire to make yourself as small as possible, your round and plump frame wouldn’t allow you to curl your knees towards your chest. So, you opted instead to sit with your legs stretched out in front of you, ankles crossed. A false picture of being unperturbed with your current circumstances. The longer you sat there in the silence, the more your anxiety seeped into your muscles. You shook your foot trying to expel the nervous energy. Your ears strained for any semblance for sounds of life beyond the door. Surely there had to be other prisoners or guards. Unless you really were just left for dead. You fought back the tears that welled up in your eyes.
                “This is fucked,” You mumbled, “I’m fucked. What the hell is happening?” You could feel the panic rise up your throat. Your heartbeat increased and your breath became shallow. You ran your fingers through your hair, pulling at the roots. Tiny pin pricks of pain blossomed as the blonde strands became taut. You felt pain, or rather discomfort. You’ve felt that in your extremely vivid dreams before, but it gave you an idea. Moving on to your hands and knees you began to feel around for any rocks or other items you could use. If you could find something and make it sharp enough, maybe you could wake yourself. The door looked the same, but maybe it was different. Maybe you were in a different REM cycle, meaning a different dream that just piggy backed off the first. After all, there was no way to determine if the male that took you was going to come back. ‘This has to be a nightmare.’
“Please, please let there be something,” You crawled through the darkness, eyes straining to make out any shapes. Your hands finally found a smooth stone about the size of your palm. In the darkness you couldn’t tell if it was granite or something else, so you went ahead and bashed the side against the stone of your cell wall. The side of the object splintered off as if the stone was made of glass.
“Obsidian…” You smiled to yourself. The obsidian shard would be sharp enough to draw blood wherever you managed to drag it along your skin.
“Where to cut, where to cut…” You felt along your body, the scars on your covered legs sang with expectation. Were you willing to risk taking off your pants in this place though? Were you willing to take off any of your clothing? Finally deciding against the removal of your clothes you crawled over to the door and lowered your hands to the soft light that filtered through. Pressing the shard against the palm of your left hand you hoped that there would be no feeling as you dragged it against the skin. Oh, how wrong you were.
“Fuck!” A searing pain erupted over your hand as the makeshift blade tore at the skin. You sucked in a breath through your teeth as blood pooled at the seams of the cut. The obsidian hit the ground.
“Why did you do that?” A deep tenor filled the space near the back of your cell and you screamed. The sconce on the wall lit up. Your head whipped around to the opposite corner from where you had been sitting. Your eyes took in the retreating shadows as they revealed the male that you really didn’t want to see. The cobalt stones again caught your eye as your gazed wondered over his form. The wings were still there. You cradled your bleeding hand and you backed away from the known male that stared you down. You figured that you were about to pass out again as the shadows behind him seemed to writhe and undulate around his frame.
“Don’t come any closer,” You tried to keep your voice steady, but you wanted to kick yourself for how pathetic you sounded. The male rolled his eyes and walked towards you before crouching down. His wings stretched out and angled themselves so as to not drag along the stone beneath. The sight of their movement took your breath away. They were real. All of this was real. He grabbed your hand and began to exam it. Your attempts to pull it back failed as his grip was tight. Clicking his tongue against his teeth he locked eyes with you, hazel orbs boring into your own. Despite yourself you noted just how attractive he was as he continued to scrutinize you. He continued to look at you expectantly and you realized that he must have asked you a second question. He sighed and gave you back your hand.
“I’ll be right back,” He stood and left. As soon as the door shut you scrambled to your feet and retreated back to your corner. Had he been in the room with you the entire time? If so, why was the light off? And…you felt pain in your hand. You glanced down at the jagged cut, the blood had yet to start to congeal and clot, but it was superficial at best. Honestly nothing to worry about. You’ve done worse to yourself before. But…you felt pain. Real pain, not just a semblance of a memory of pain as you’ve dreamt of before. This was no dream. Everything pointed to this being a very real place. And you were in very real trouble. Especially if you ended up in-
A soft knock on the door brought you out of your thoughts. Whomever was there didn’t wait for you to respond as they entered. A man-no again male- with long red hair and almost equally red-brown eyes walked into the room. He wore a simple off-white billowy linen shirt that appeared as if it was from the Renaissance or possibly the Victorian era. Honestly, you were really sure. The history of the fashion industry wasn’t your area of expertise.  He also wore a simple pair of dark brown pants. He was definitely different compared to your captor and the winged male. He appeared…warmer. Maybe it was the soft smile that graced his lips. However, his eyes-which you now saw that the left had a long scar that ran down towards his jaw- held a certain sense of sadness to them. Pity.
“Hello,” He held out his hand towards you as he cautiously approached, “Can I take a look at your hand?” He seemed friendly enough, but you still pulled your hand closer toward your chest. You shook your head and backed away, not trusting your voice. The red head looked back at the door, where you saw the winged male patiently waiting.
“She does understand our language correct?” He turned back towards you after receiving an affirming nod from his companion. He took a tentative step closer. You felt like you were being treated like a wild animal.
“Stop!” You hissed, “I’m perfectly fine. You can leave.” The male just stood, his gaze trailing to the blood that dripped down your forearm.
“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” He stated, “I need to heal your hand. Will you let me do that?” You paused.
“What do you care if it heals?” You squeezed your hand into a protective fist causing blood to gush out faster, “Isn’t it easier to just let me be?”
“Honestly I don’t care,” His demeanor changed like the flick of a switch, “If you don’t want help then that is your choice. My question then is why cut yourself in the first place?” You held his stare. You didn’t want to answer, knowing that it wouldn’t make any sense to the stranger.
“This is going no where Lucien,” the winged male finally re-entered the room, “Just heal her hand so I can begin my questioning.” Lucien scoffed, but did as requested. Grabbing your wrist, he tugged you away from the corner you backed yourself into. You held your breath as he pried your fingers open so he could get a look at the cut. You honestly tried to pull your hand free, but he was clearly much stronger than you. Almost unnaturally so. You were left with nothing to do but to watch. You heard a faint whirring sound, before he hovered his free hand over the injury. A warmth enveloped your open palm and was accompanied by a slight metallic scent to the air. Within seconds your skin had stitched itself back together. All that remained was the trail of drying blood. You stared at the healed skin, mind racing with jumbled thoughts. It didn’t make sense. Nothing in the world could do that. It was like…magic. Your breath caught in your throat. Just where the hell were you. You flicked your gaze back to Lucien standing before you, only this time you noted the golden mechanical eye and the arch of his ears. The pointed arch of his ears. The jumbled thoughts became cloudy and you felt darkness start to descend.
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“There,” Lucien let go of her hand, which was something that he would immediately regret. It took less than 30 seconds for her wide (e/c) eyes to flutter shut. He watched as her knees gave out as she crashed towards the ground. His reflexes were fast enough to allow him to catch her before her head hit the hard stone. Azriel was immediately crouching next to him.
“That’s the second time she’s fainted,” He whispered, cursing under his breath. He removed her outer sweater and placed it under her head before standing up to speak to the male beside him. 
“How long has she been down here?” Lucien questioned also rising to his feet. This didn’t sit well with him. The woman was clearly frightened, and there was no absolutely no trace of any lingering magic emanating from her. So why was she being kept beneath the throne room in the Hewn City?
“A few hours,” Azriel explained, “Rhys found her this morning. According to him, she literally just appeared. Much in the same way Bryce did. Fell flat on her face outside their home on the Sidra’s edge.” Her face was pale, honestly, too pale for Lucien’s liking. He knelt down beside her, straightening out her legs so they weren’t tucked under at an odd angle.
“Does Feyre know?” The Shadowsinger remained quiet. Lucien looked up at the male. Azriel couldn’t meet his eyes. That wasn’t a good sign. There was no way that Feyre would be comfortable with having a defenseless and harmless human female locked away. It was unusual for Rhysand to keep things from his mate, not without there being a definitive threat.
“This human has no magic. Absolutely none. She’s completely powerless,” He spat out, “There are no traces of any spells surrounding her either. Whatever brought her here, she had no control over. Its likely she had no knowledge of what was happening either.”
“That’s what I need to find out,” Azriel stated simply. If he was irritated with Lucien’s outburst he didn’t let on. “So now that she’s healed and you’ve completed your assessment, you can leave.” This really didn’t sit well with him. Bryce had been brought right into their family home when she arrived. So, what was it about this human that set the High Lord on such edge that she’d been banished from what would probably be the safest place for a human in Prythian? Lucien really didn’t like what was happening, but knew better than to argue with the Spymaster. If anyone did get answers out of the woman it was going to be him. However, he wouldn’t let this injustice go to the way side. So, without so much as a word to the Shadowsinger, Lucien left the cell. He was determined to have a very stern word with the High Lord.
Part 2
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bambi-kinos · 5 months
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Beatles Reading List (Introductory)
Hi guys. So I saw a post floating around asking about "where to start" with the Beatles and how to find out more about them. Moeexyz's recommendation on it was to read fanfiction and this alarmed me a bit. Fanfiction just isn't a good source to get information about the band for one simple reason: fanfic authors change stuff for dramatic purposes all the time. It's just not a great way to get more information about them because fanfiction by necessity shifts things around for the sake of storytelling.
That Beatles iceberg is nice but the only way you're going to get a good picture of the Beatles is by doing a lot of reading of published sources. That's right. You're in for a lot of homework.
In an effort to combat misinformation, I asked the McLennon discord server to help me put together a rough list of introductory level books for Beatle fans that want to learn more about the band. These books are either a) read by me or b) read by someone I trust and I have included her quotes about the books she liked. I'll have color commentary talking about what they are and why they should be read. I do not consider this post finished! My server is constantly reading and discussing (we're looking at podcasts right now because they're the ones doing interviews with Liverpool citizens who were peers of the Beatles!) and they're being very gracious by contributing to this list. That means that this post may be updated in the future as I read more! If you want to keep up with updates then give my blog a follow, I'll post every time I update this list.
Some of these books are available on Archive.org but others can be gotten through your local library or through piracy. If you buy something, buy it used. Never pay more than $20 for a Beatle book.
The Whole Story
Anthology This is the documentary made by the band after John Lennon's death in 1980. It is both a documentary as well as a book (essentially a script of the documentary) which makes it very accessible. This is the version of the story that the band wanted to put out and includes interviews with Paul, George, and Ringo. They cover their beginning to their end. Anthology can be found on archive.org if you want to read it: https://archive.org/details/beatlesanthology0000unse_y2k8 The episodes are also available on Archive.org. If you search for "Beatles Anthology" and select "movies" option to search for videos then you will find it there. It's worth the watch and is all around the best introduction to the Beatles.
The Beatles - Hunter Davies This is the only sanctioned biography of the band. It's written in older language since it is contemporary to the 1960s but it's still very readable and a good intro. It is part of the media image that the band wanted to present at the time so you should make sure to think about what you are reading, who is saying what, and contemplate why he is saying it. It it still a great resource.
150 Glimpses of the Beatles - Craig Brown This is a short book that describes 150 anecdotes about the Beatles and what it was like to experience them. I recommend this because it demonstrates what a unique and personal experience the Beatles are while also demonstrating their global reach and how they became the most famous rock band in the world. It's a short read but a good one and there are many charming and thought provoking anecdotes in it. The story of the Beatles is just as much about their fans as it is about the band and you cannot understand one without looking at the other.
Books About Each Beatle
This particular section is a bit of a minefield. Many books written about the Beatles are of questionable veracity or just out and out wrong. (I can think of two that were written as blatant cash grabs and filled with libel that someone should have been sued over.) My recommendations on this may change so please check back from time to time! John Lennon
The John Lennon Letters - John Lennon, edited by Hunter Davies Primary source documents of the various letters and missives John wrote through his life. This may be the most important book on the list because it shows us who John really is: just another ordinary guy like us, trying to get through life. Also gives insight into his mindset as the decades pressed on.
The Making of John Lennon - Francis Kenny This is a very vital and heartbreaking read for people who want more insight into John. John Lennon is the most famous Beatle but he is also the one who's image is the most obscured and distorted. Francis Kenny is a Liverpool native who puts John in his proper context. To quote my server friend who read this one: Kenny, himself a Liverpudlian, takes into account how life in Liverpool in the first half of the 20th century shaped not only John but everyone he knew and his entire family. Mimi and Julia get a good critical view, and Uncle George gets his moment in the sun. He also lays out how class divides affected the Stanleys and then how Mimi took it out on John and Julia. He quotes a 1880s travel guide of London that said Liverpool was called "the New York of Europe," because of its economy and place on the ocean, and like in the Gilded Age New York that was happening concurrently across the ocean, Liverpool had pockets of wealth and splendor surrounded by poverty and rough living. Definitely a pro-read and a great insight into the culture and time John lived in. It does not fall into the pitfalls of hero worshipping John but Francis Kenny still treats John with sympathy and respect, hard qualities to come by when it comes to the cashgrabs written about John and his family.
John - Cynthia Lennon John's first wife, Cynthia, wrote two autobiographies about herself and John. This is one of them. It's a tough read in many places but a good one. Hers is a voice that doesn't shy away from John's flaws and actions but she also takes care to tell us why she and so many other people love him and remain loyal to him.
Paul McCartney
Many Years From Now - Barry Miles This is Paul's only sanctioned biography. It is formatted as a quasi-interview with Paul where there are interruptions of regular prose in each chapter. There are eyebrow raising moments where you can tell Paul is not quite telling the truth but it's important to read and identify these moments since Paul's habit of embroidering the truth is important to know and understand. Nonetheless it is still a lot more honest than I was expecting when I read it.
Paul McCartney: A Life - Peter Ames Carlin Probably the best Paul McCartney biography on the market. Peter Ames Carlin also did a similarly great bio of Paul Simon for people who are into that. To quote my friend Betty who read it: Paul gets to be a whole person here: the preternaturally talented boy wonder, the guy casting around for meaning, the less than attractive moments and qualities described without getting preachy or turning to [Paul Derangement Syndrome]. Carlin treats him with dignity instead of something to be gawked at and gossiped about. His (many) sources are cited at the end of the book. What I really appreciated was the ideas he put forth that I've only seen on Tumblr and not in Serious Official Biographies, which says to me he's writing as a fan and scholar and not a journalist trying to fill column inches.
George Harrison
I Me Mine - George Harrison Make sure to get the extended edition! George Harrison in his own words. There's a lot to say about this biography but it won't make much sense without context so I just encourage you to read it. George Harrison was, in my opinion, the best Beatle.
George Harrison: Behind the Locked Door - Graeme Thomson A good no bullshit biography about George Harrison. This covers his life as the material musician and the man seeking the divine. Graeme worked very hard to be respectful of George and his life, did extensive interviews with George's wife Olivia. Such a pro-read and definitely the best George biography written to date.
Ringo Starr
Photograph - Ringo Starr Ringo has stated that this book is his autobiography. In a few bumpers on the Beatles Sirius XM channel Ringo says that he doesn't want to write a biography like the others did but he was happy with putting this photobook together and essentially writing a bio through the captions. This is the closest that we will get for a biography for him as of right now. In time that may change but this is your best option. Piracy is the way to go when it comes to getting a copy of this, iirc it was a limited run and getting a physical copy might be very expensive these days.
Brian Epstein
A Cellarful of Noise - Brian Epstein/Derek Taylor This autobiography was ghostwritten by Brian's assistant Derek Taylor. It's not a tell-all but Brian talks about his youth and how he met the Beatles, including giving his own personal (and accurate) insights into each band member.
Conclusion
There are many, many books about the Beatles. Almost all of them offer something but most are about very niche periods in the Beatles history. When it comes to understanding the band I tried to put together a list where you can get an overview of the band and then read materials that either come straight from the Beatle in question or are not as biased as the competition. I am a McLennon shipper but for a post like this I did my best to recommend books that don't have that kind of bias in them so this is a list you can send to non-shipper friends haha.
In another post I will put together a history book list in the order of their timeline as a band, starting from the Quarrymen and on to the present. There is a LOT of ground to cover in a historical arrangement and it will take a while to compile. Please check back here regularly or give me a follow: whenever I update this post or make a new list, I'll make sure to post about it.
My plan is to make a website with all of this information that anyone can reference but it will take a long long time to make such a thing so put a pin in that one.
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starrgirlella · 6 months
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Lurking for love? More like lurking for LORE
Hi everyone! Just two days ago, I made some interesting discoveries about LFL by just digging around the website
I'm not sure if anyone else found this out so that's why I'm going to be sharing what I found because it's very interesting
This post is going to be pretty long lol and full of my rambling. If you're interested, please take a read! Do note that English isn't my first language so I may express myself a bit weird 😭
Also IK the screenshots are pretty shitty but I'm lazy oops
To start, I have a habit of checking the sinistershrike website along with the LFL itch.io game page. Why? Well I just like looking if there are any new updates (and its my hyperfixtation so I'm constantly looking for new content)-
And I noticed that on the sinistershrike website there was a new update which some of you may or may not saw.
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In summary, the game is getting custom music, prounouns are getting removed so MC is going to be gender neutral and getting called only by their name and most interesting of all: a new main character is getting added, and they're going to be dateable!
Pretty interesting, right? I immediately got curious on who that character might be since they're going to cause drama and more mysteries.
But wait! I'm still not done, hehe
Afterwards, I was just randomly looking at Jacob Alden pics thru google. Again, why? Well, I don't know either lol. It's just a habit that I do when I'm bored and sometimes when I'm lucky, I come across new things.
And this time I was lucky!
So I scrolled down to the end of the results and I saw this post which caught my eye:
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What's so interesting about it? Well the fact that the creators website is linked to it. Curious, I clicked on the link and was suprised at what I saw.
(Mind you I still dont know if I'm an idiot just finding this out or not...)
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Basically, it's a site containing all info about Jacob! I got really excited when I saw it bc I LOVE learning all the facts about my favourite characters and finding new official content!
When I finished looking through it I noticed two things:
1. The website adress (is that what it's called? Im sorry english isn't my first language)
So when you look at the website adress you can notice how it's linked (basically an extension) to the creators webiste which is: sinistershrike.neocities.org
The thing is; you can't open Jacobs page on the creators site. Like yes, there is a tab which says CHARACTERS but if you click on it you'll get nothing but a scary looking Jacob. Which means to get to this page you have to type the adress in yourself.
So I'm assuming the creator is purposefully hiding this Jacob page (maybe because he wants to finish pages for all characters and more)
And here's the link if you want to take a look for yourself:
https://sinistershrike.neocities.org/character/jacob
2. At the end of the page, you have links to other characters made by the creator.
Not just lurking for love, but other ocs made by him!
Though, if you click on them, you'll get nothing. Maybe they're still being made? I'm not sure.
Now, when you look at the characters for LFL, it's very interesting because we now have info on Sarah's last name AND... an unknown character? Noah Vega.
At first, I was stunned. Who could this character be? Then I went back to the creators website and remembered the mention of a new character, can you see where I'm going?
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Noah Vega must be the new character! He was never mentioned before; neither in the game nor in the creators deleted blogs.
And pretty quickly I found proof which helped my theory (I SOUND SO DUMB OMG)
Now going back to the website adress thing.
So I concluded that the Jacob website is hidden from the main website for an reason, hence you can only acess it by finding it yourself. I decided to mess around with the website adress a bit, to see if I could find any more extensions/links.
I started by putting different names in the adress. I tried out: Austin, Sarah, Cedric and Alfred but they didn't lead or anything.
BUT
The only name which lead to an extension was Noah. And holy shit-
I'm finding it hard to express how shocked I was at this discovery
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This is a pretty big lore drop imo! So his website shows a pinboard with various notes.
And with these notes we can conclude two things:
1. He has an gambling addiction
2. He is investigating Jacob
He definitely an detective trying to solve an old murder case involved with Jacob. Hence why the mention that the new character will add more drama and mystery to the game.
The three murdered highschoolers must be his old friends mentioned in the game: Steve, Monty and Kenny. Which he claims that they haven't talked since highschool. In reality, they were murdered by him for reasons that are unknown for now.
The website link:
https://sinistershrike.neocities.org/character/noah
And that's about it! I had fun digging around finding this new info and writing this post. I hope to see more of interesting secrets like this in the future because it's fun finding them!
I hope this post was of interest to you :)
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catboymoments · 20 days
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Me: Asks you to educate yourself, providing easy access to videos that, turns out, directly address the issues that make you dislike vivziepop and provide more context than tumblr and twitter hate threads ever do
You responded to that quickly I know you didn't bother watching. Bruh. I told you a lot of the hate around Vivziepop isn't valid and you don't check it out? See if any of your concerns fell under the one video I directly recommended?? The creator had timestamps too.
Going to the video would have told you the one nazi oc was from eight years ago. And it wasn't even hers! The Vivziepop drama playlist goes in depth about the updates concerning the people Vivziepop has worked with. Which SEVERAL people that worked with her came out to defend her and provide their experiences
You'd find out if you had just watched the videos, the proof, that people love to hate on Vivizie for clout and to farm likes and attention. They take screenshots out of context, go on tangents without proof, etc.
And expect you to believe them.
SO I'll do this one more time to address what specifically you said you disliked about Vivzie.
This playlist has all the videos I will talk about and more. So, if you know of any other drama and controversy surrounding Vivziepop you should probably consult that before forming your opinion: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOWIXPh0p7CzgQoUIl7rqd8oz2Ym6V9XY&si=lhDApDPhX5sWyTHA
Again, it can be found by typing into the Youtube search bar, "ayy lmao vivziepop drama"
You'll find their playlist "Vivziepop Drama Playlist" right there or even just going to the youtube channel "Ayy Lmao" and looking through the playlists.
Specifically addressing what makes you dislike Vivziepop:
The one Nazi oc, the only one to exist, is discussed in "Why everyone hates Vivziepop" at 20:07 and in "The Truth Behind Vivziepop" at 5:07 The latter has more information on that and it only takes TWO MINUTES to watch! With screenshots and proof and everything.
If you heard somewhere that there were multiple, did where you heard that have a source? To, y'know, back up the claim? If you can find it that would be lovely otherwise that is just an allegation either someone told you or you are misremembering.
The drama concerning their workplace goes mainly from the beginning of the playlist to "Vivziepop Erin Frost Drama Round 3"
Multiple artists and people that worked with Vivziepop come out in support of Vivziepop and debunk claims made by others in "Helluva boss employees debunk Vivziepop allegations (Vivziepop drama Part 4)"
I'm not sure what you are referring to when you say "the way she treats her friends" and since you haven't provided any sort of source I can only guess that you may be thinking about the ugly situation covered in "Vivziepop Spindlehorse Drama Explained"
I can already tell by the amount of people responding to the first ask I sent that you have a platform, at least a larger audience compared to the average user. If you have problems with x y and z thing about Vivziepop, provide links and proof to what concerns you in the future.
If you don't remember or can't find that proof. Watch the videos. That simple. Put it on in the background, educate yourself, before you spread any more misinformation. Please.
Then form your opinion. It's a lot and I know it is a lot but you need to know this before jumping on the bandwagon of canceling someone. Especially if you have a large audience.
Vivziepop drama and hatedom is so exhausting you wouldn't BELIEVE IT. People are constantly spewing hate without providing PROOF. THEY'RE ALLEGATIONS! Even with "proof" most are out of context and bad faith. There is a motive to lie about someone as well known as Vivziepop
I'm not asking you to like her I'm asking you to educate yourself before repeating what you've heard and provide sources to back them up.
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aicosu · 8 months
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Guys, I hate to do this.
Any of you who know me in any circle know that I'm a very professional, very private lady who hates any sort of disc horse breeds that might give me a headache. But this one is important, and my goal here is the integrity and reputation of artists.
For my credentials: I have been a part of five zines in the past. Two I moderated, and one I ran, created, laid out, printed, and shipped in its entirety.
So anyway:
HELLCHEER ZINE BULLSHIT
I joined Hellcheer and the Kindred Freaks Zine very late. Well, after sign ups, check-ins, etc. I saw it was happening in april-ish and shot a DM to the twitter to join. I did both a full art page and a cosplay page.
At the time, the server was quiet but kind. We got updates on the number of orders and books being made.
@Lawless is the runner of the Zine. They created and organized it. They are in charge of the main emails, the selling website, the orders, the shipping, and the funds. (To be clear, this level of sole responsibility is not ABNORMAL in a zine. And is not always an issue.)
@Valerie is the 'social media' mod. They are in charge of managing announcements and answering questions on Twitter and Tumblr. Please keep in mind: No one wants anything but a fast and easy recovery for both Lawless and their mother. Medical emergencies, heck—LIFE happens. It's always okay to put a hiatus on anything, even product with money, in order to take care of yourself and family. Every single contributor only wants them to be clear in what they need and how we can help.
So lets break down what's happening.
Back in May, Lawless went radio silent on the status of books and merch coming in. Another contributor and I, @Toguchin, start dming Lawless to make sure everything is on track. They come back after a week and apologize for being MIA, explaining that their mom got sick. We thank them for all their hard work and wish them and their mom well.
On July 15th, after contributors and customers inquire on delays to meeting the announced shipping deadline, Lawless makes a twitter post saying shipping has started and contributor copies will be happening. They proceeded to go MIA from the server discord and have been since.
The following week, contributors and customers discover that shipping HAS NOT started. Labels have been created and printed, but nothing appears to be in transit at all.
Toguchin and I started getting reached out to by customers worrying their packages are lost. We report this to the zine server to NO RESPONSE. Except @Ashlee, the discord mod who also has heard nothing.
July 20th to 22nd with customers complaining and theorizing a scam in mind; Toguchin and I propose that PDFs be given out to assure and apologize for delays.
We as a server discover a few things: 1. We cannot access the list of buyers at all in order to email apology zines because Lawless did not share the account information with anyone. 2. We cannot access the main email for the same reason. 3. Valerie, the social media mod, deleted discord and distanced themselves from the Hellcheer fandom and has not been checking the Twitter or tumblr, or discord notifications since May.
Ashlee and Ichikun contact Valerie to sign on.
I made a new email and said fuck it, we need to do something to assuage fears, let them send receipts to honor their zines. Valerie didn't know what to post or say or how to answer everyone, so I gave them a copy paste.
Still no words from Lawless but hoping for the best knowing the have a medical emergency, Ashlee and I begin answering the new email for PDFs, but cant help people change addresses or give them any update!!!
Throughout the weeks mods and contributors ping Lawless constantly asking if they need any help! Any help at all, answering emails, changing order addresses, heck a few of us ask if we can pick up the books and packages and ship stuff for them so they can hands off the project and take care of their mom. No response.
We send message after message saying if Lawless can share picture proof, that would be great cause scam theories and chargebacks are starting. BUT ALSO, we let Lawless know we and customers will ABSOLUTELY UNDERSTAND delays if they just communicate it. That if they post in server and on Twitter that shipping needs to wait a month or two, no one will mind. No responses.
July 31, Lawless makes a Twitter update with comments disabled that they are shipping ALL packages that monday with a picture of packages. They also call Valerie privately and tell the issue that USPS refuses to pick up shipments from Lawless has, and they can't leave their mothers side from the post office. They also claim they can only deliver ten packages at a time at the post when they go. *USPS has no such rules. Me and other mutuals who run shops have never had such a problem.
A week later, we realize that customers and our packages are still not in transit. Labels printed only. Most of us assume all packages are just label printed and sitting at Lawless' house.
We beg for updates from Valerie or Lawless. Valerie doubles down on Lawless old reasonings and also officially goes MIA until present day.
Throughout August, USA packages get delivered. A few more updates are made straight to Twitter and Tumblr with comments off. Radio silence in server.
As packages arrive, we all become aware from people's posts and pictures that random Stranger Things Art Stickers are included. No credit to any artist is given? No contributor is responsible for this art. These are suspected to be BOUGHT from Amazon. STOLEN arts amazon sellers resell in packs. NO contributor is okay with this!!! Valerie responds with no response at all.
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As of now:
No response to missing digital copies. Ashlee and I cannot give out any without receipts because we have no access to buyers list. Nor can we answer missing packages inquiries cause we have no info. International packages unaccounted for. SCRUNCHIES FREE OR OTHERWISE UNACCOUNTED FOR. Zero word on contributor copies. Zero word on donation status. Zero word on generated profit or book and shipping cost. No way to verify funds at all. No word from Lawless to contributors since July 15. From Valerie since the 31st.
Some notes:
Turning off twitter comments was NEVER what any one of us wanted. A ZINE LAYOUT was never shared. So until people had them in hand or in PDF none of us realized that the credits DO NOT POINT TO ANY SOCIAL MEDIA. All of our usernames are handle-less? This was extremely disappointing. This one matters to me: Our FanEdit artist was not aware their work was not getting a full page. Again no pre-layout was shared. So their work is tiny and in the margins of the front and back. That's not okay. All of us wanted to help in any way we could. NONE of us doubt Lawless intentions or emergencies. But lying, misleading, non-communicating and turning off comments are all things we did not consent to. All of us only wanted a cordial, honest response. None of us actually cared about delays as much as we did communications. There has been many noticeable times Lawless has been online, posting privately or otherwise, even active on Discord and has not reached out.
Why make a post:
Customers should know contributors fought for them. That we did everything we could and our reputation as artists in the fandom shouldn't be tarnished cause two creators decided to disappear. Contributors should get their copies. Many of us BOUGHT bundles. I've been in five zines and every single one gave out free contributor copies WITH merch!!
I'm also attaching all server screenshots for integrity. I'm in half a mind to release the zine PDF publicly, for free, for everyone at this point. I personally think it's only fair since many are still missing just that. But I do not want to insult anyone who paid for just the PDF regardless of the potential contribution to charity. But it's really up to customers, not me.
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