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venusdebotticelli · 3 years

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Anyway, in light of That Bullshit™, here’s a show recommendation for everyone here who enjoyed the Destiel meta for years:

Watch The Untamed!!!!!!!!!!

It is based on a canonically queer book where the main couple get married and have a kid and everything.

It is a Chinese show, so the censorship doesn’t actually let them show it as such.

What did they do about it¿?

They turned it into one of the sweetest and most loving and most fucking blatant queer love stories I’ve ever seen, even within the constraints of actual fucking homophobic state censorship.

The censors wouldn’t let them kiss on camera, so they made up for it by pumping up the romance from the book even more, to the point where their relationship is actually slightly healthier and more thoroughly built up and more supportive than in the book it’s based on, and it breathes and soars beautifully throughout the show.

This is a show that was made by a cast and crew that OBVIOUSLY carried this love story in their hearts and actually put their best work forward to portray it with all the love and respect it deserved. Again, whilst working against honest-to-god censorship!!! (unlike certain other shows... ¬_¬)

The same style of subtext analysis that has been used on Destiel for years works really well here, because it is also a blatantly queer story that’s superficially mislabeled as something else, but unlike with fucking Destiel you actually get a fucking satisfying resolution that sticks the landing beautifully!

And that’s another great thing about it!!! The show’s finished!!! No nasty surprises!!! The ending is good and happy!!!

It also has lots of angst and drama, but it pays off!!! *insert the noise of popping open a can of fizzy* 👏 Sa 👏 Tis 👏 Fy 👏 Ing 👏 !!!!!! 👏

This ACTUALLY CENSORED show does a better fucking job of handling their queer love story than fucking supernatural, because unlike fucking supernatural, they are utterly unapologetic and unashamed about the story they’re telling! (and oh, supernatural *was* telling that story, even if they took that insultingly cowardly approach and exit.)

It’s also slightly campy fantasy with creepy supernatural stuff and great character relationships with lots of heart and complexity. The main mytharc plot is a bit weakly developped at times and the cgi was obviously made with a toaster oven from 1987, but honestly, if you enjoyed supernatural at any point I don’t think you have any particular issue with that :P

And yeah, I’m fucking angry and bitter at supernatural right now, after so long of my life invested in a show that in the end did not fucking deserve it.

But one thing I will always cherish about this fandom is the incredible critical analysis it’s always engaged on, and everything it personally taught me about how stories are built, and all the richness you can imbue into them with even the smallest of details. It taught me to pay attention to each and every single element of a story, no matter how small or inconsequential it might seem at first glance, and to find greater meaning within it. And even if supernatural’s ending is a Betrayal against good storytelling and everything their characters ever stood for, I am telling you, The Untamed is a show where those skills are put to good use. Where it is actually rewarding and fulfilling to engage on that level!!!

I’m making this post because as angry as I am, I know it would’ve hit me even harder just last year, or a couple of years ago, when I hadn’t been into any other fandoms that let me hyperfixate as deeply and intensely as this one does, and if it helps anyone move on, please take it! It’s also extremely popular at the moment, so there’s no shortage of good content to explore!!! And yeah, we fucking deserve better than supernatural. THIS IS BETTER, censorship and all, because it feels intrinsically queer in the way the story’s been told, even with all its constraints.

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venusdebotticelli · 4 years

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Cat Reviews: A Series

I recently realised that since I moved into this new house about a year and a half ago I’ve mentioned I have cats now, but never really talked about them or shared pictures¿? Which could be in part because finally living in a house where I actually liked my housemates meant that I spent a lot less time being a hermit in my room and therefore using tumblr a lot less, but is still AN UNFORGIVABLE CRIME BECAUSE THEY ARE MY CHILDREN AND I WOULD DIE FOR EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM AND THEY SHOULD BE SHOUTED ABOUT FROM EVERY MOUNTAINTOP!!!!!!!

So to put a remedy to that, here’s an in-depth series of all the BEANS I’ve shared a house with, which is a ludicrous amount of Beans, because we foster cats for charity on top of my housemate’s permanent two :D

This was originally going to be just one long masterpost, but I quickly realised that was not gonna be an option when I wanted to post 80 pictures and write an ode to every single cat, so now it’s gonna be a series spread into 10 different posts, with the potential for more as we keep on fostering new cats :p

For the first entry:

The Queen, The Pokky Bean

Name Shenanigans: Official name is SusuWatari, after the ghibli sootball spirits, but the name we use the most is Pokky :) She’s a Pok-Mok, a pokkiest bean, a goodest and smolest and bestest of all beans, a babiest bean :D

A Whole Cat! She was first fostered by my housemates when she was a tiniest kitten, came with another two random kittens she’d been paired up with by the charity, and she was so absolutely fucking great that my housemate adopted her :)

She spends most of the day and night in my bedroom, which fills my heart with utter unbridled joy ;u; She loves sleeping in the Catstle* I built on top of my wardobe, or my chair, or the rugs on the floor, or staring out of the window.

She’s a bit independent in the sense that she won’t spend all day trying to sit on your lap or anything, but still loves being in the same room as the hoomans, and is ridiculously affectionate and sweet. She loves waking me up every night/early morning by jumping on top of me on my bed and yapping while she kneads and walks around rubbing her face against me, until she settles down and takes a 10 minute mini-nap before she’s off again. She always comes for pets when she sees you walking about, has an unfiltered attraction for the sound of the fridge opening, and will enthusiastically and passionately rub her entire face against your hands whenever you’re unloading grocery bags and their magical cheese and chickens :P Licking soft cheese off my finger is one of her favourite things! When I’m sitting in the living room with my blanket over my legs, she’ll come knead on me for a while and then fall asleep, and these specific naps are the long kind, she can spend hours on there! :D

She’s not extremely vocal, but will make the cutest little mews whenever she wants your attention or is excited to see you, little yaps that she uses to call for people and express excitement, rather than as a singing hobby :P

However, you should not be fooled by her sweet charms, as she is a hardened gang leader and war criminal, having proudly and repeatedly violated the geneva conventions 🧐

She is currently under house arrest for the murder/disappearance of at least 5 different birds from our neighbour’s small aviary. She will often descend with the gang of henchcats she controls into the neighbour’s garden, ruthlessly destroying plants, furniture and other quaint decor, on top of tormenting the aviary birds.

She is also known for being a proficient hunter, and torturing her prey for fun before she abandons their shredded corpses with absolute disregard for witnesses or incriminating evidence. My housemates have found mice that were unfortunate enough to cross her path, lying dead in the bathroom and kitchen, but just last week I myself was witness to a blood-curdling hostage situation.

She found an unsuspecting cockroach. Chased it and cornered it. Dug her claws into it. Put it in her mouth, then released it elsewhere. Flipped it on its back with her claws again, let it run just enough for a false sense of freedom to set in, grabbed it in her mouth again, set it free, slapped it, kicked it, squished it, let it go, grabbed it again, mutilated it, shook it, let it go, repeated the process, again and again and again, all for FUN and PLEASURE. I suspect being picked up in a tissue and thrown out the window must have been a relief for the poor mangled critter.

She also goes completely nuts about tin foil balls!!!

DO NOT TRUST HER.

She is THE NIGHT and very much partakes in The Dark Arts.

A Summary: Sweetest, Most Elegant, Most Charming, Most Loveable Utter Psychopath. My Actual Biological Child.

A Selfie Cat? As a queen with very high standards, she has to be in the mood for it, which is a bit rare, but does she absolutely deliver when she is! :D

The Boy, The Sausage, The Legend, The Coliflower

*Aforementioned Catstle:

#Cats!#Catblr #Cats of tumblr #Adopt don't shop #Coolification writes #The Me #My Photographs #Warning for graphic depictions of violence against cockroaches #:P #Cat Reviews #:D #Pokky Bean

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venusdebotticelli · 6 years

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Endgame

In which Dean and Castiel just need to sit the fuck down and talk for a bit, and The Empty is Really Bad™ at dealing with insomnia.

This came about after 13x07, when I started thinking about s14 being hypothetically a final season, and how they could satisfyingly wrap up different threads for the endgame scenario. I started writing it right after that episode, so some details may not align with current canon anymore, but who cares, because ~*theeeeeeeeeeeeemes*~ my dudes :P And a massive thanks to @60r3d0m for the great beta that really made the writing shine :D

Part 1/2, 2nd part coming soon

[AO3]

It can’t go back to sleep. It was forced into consciousness by that annoying little parasite and now It can’t find a way to stop being again. After an eternity of tenuous marginal existence, this forced sentience proves to be an unbearable inconvenience. If It has to endure this suffering, It will bring down Everything with It.

It focuses Its attention on one of Its sleepers, and pokes at it. The sleeper stirs slightly, those annoying little thoughts starting to build up and echo, so It pokes at it again, harder this time. The sleeper’s essence starts to crumble at the edges and dissipates into It, absorbed into nothingness. One last poke, and the sleeper is no more.

It feels Its essence expand. It develops an edge, a border, a frontier, an end.

It feels around the new development, and It shifts.

The little girl is missing half of her left arm. Instead of a stump, the arm finishes on a clean cut that exposes her muscles, bones, all the inside bits. It’s not bleeding—the blood seems to still be circulating. It comes through the arteries, and goes up again through the veins, without ever leaving the arm, never going past the exposed edge.

Castiel is crouching in front of her, and her big eyes study him curiously as she sips from her carton of juice.

“Does it hurt?” he asks, and she shakes her head in answer.

The door opens behind him and Dean comes in, so he smiles reassuringly at the girl and pulls Dean aside.

“Sheriff says a bubble of pure black just showed up out of nowhere in the middle of town. Disappeared after a few seconds, and when it was gone it was like it just bit a chunk out of reality. Big hole in the middle of the road, half a house missing, and everybody who was in the radius disappeared.” Dean rubs a hand down his face and looks at the girl in the corner. “Kiera there was walking with her parents, mom was holding her hand when they got swallowed up.”

Castiel walks back over to Kiera, and asks for permission to inspect her arm, which she grants with a tentative nod. He carefully holds it up between his hands, running his finger over the exposed muscle, but feels nothing, not even the sensation of touch. He removes his fingertip and it comes away clean. No blood. Pressing his finger to her dark skin, he can feel her warmth, but when he moves it over the edge again, he loses the ability to feel anything at all.

“Do you feel it when I touch your wound, Kiera?”

She shakes her head again, which Castiel already expected, but then spits out the straw and speaks.

“Mom and Dad are holding my hand. I can feel them.” Her lip wobbles announcing tears, as she asks, “Do you know where they are?”

“We don’t know where they are yet, but we will do everything we can to find them quickly and bring them back to you.” Castiel says, and he feels a hand coming to rest on his shoulder as Dean leans down to talk to her as well.

“Until we find your parents, Miss Blair is going to take you in. You like Miss Blair, don’t you? When your parents come back you can tell them all about the pies she baked and all the movies you watched, I’m sure they’ll love to hear it.”

When her sniffles have calmed and the nurse has closed the door behind them, Castiel takes Dean to a quiet corner of the hallway.

“Her arm still works as if it were whole, and if she can still feel her parents, I think we might be looking at a break between dimensions here. I’d wait to see if Sam’s observed anything else on the street, but this might be a plausible explanation.”

“Yeah, I think so too,” Dean replies, and he fidgets with the phone in his pocket. “I think this is probably one for Jack.”

The strong afternoon sun is baking the small vegetation on the side of the road, and Castiel can feel the same heat emanating from the side of the Impala behind his back. The sound of Dean’s voice travels to him from further down the road as he updates Sam and Mary on their situation.

The situation in question is a 100-feet-wide crater that now takes up the space of what used to be a gas station and eight-and-a-half people, with the remaining half-person currently resting in a hospital room three miles away, awake and with fully exposed, fully functional, half of his vital organs. One of his ears got transported to the alternate dimension, but the only thing he could hear was complete and utter silence, just sporadically broken by the voices of the other disappeared people. From what he heard them say, he got the idea they were all just walking around in complete darkness, with nothing surrounding them.

Castiel had suspected it before, but the account of the half-man is enough to confirm it is the Empty on the other side of the trans-dimensional bubbles. In the five months since that first case that stole Kiera’s parents, they’ve kept track of new dark bubbles, cataloguing them, and keeping Jack updated on their expansion. Some of them are just a foot wide, some spanning almost half a mile. Sometimes the site remains unaltered after the first bubble, but other times they reoccur, swallowing the same area repeatedly and with no predictable pattern. And in the meantime, Jack’s been trying to coax his powers to interact with the Empty, to no avail. He’d tried at first to treat it as he would any other interdimensional travel, but he’d just hit a wall in those attempts. As far as his powers can perceive, the Empty does not exist.

Dean walks towards Castiel, still talking to Sam on the phone, and he leans against the Impala right beside his friend. Castiel turns to look at him, the sun making the tips of his hair shine gold, highlighting the freckles on his nose, and from one blink to the next, they are suddenly enveloped in full impenetrable darkness. Dean drops his phone in shock and Castiel straightens up against the Impala, alert and studying their surroundings. This proves fruitless—there is nothing but pitch black. It is the two of them and the right half of the Impala, mutilated in a perfect straight line right through the middle, lost in pure nothingness.

“No... No, no, no... No, no, no, no! No! No! No, no, no! No... No!”

Dean’s panicked litany, running in circles around the Impala as he takes in the damage, barely registers to him. Castiel freezes where he is, and he thinks he might be sliding down the Impala’s side to the floor, but he can’t be certain because the memory of his own bastardised face is drowning everything in black, taunting him, and he fought his way out—he knows in his gut—but suddenly the reality of this place is too much, and there’s an alien wheezing sound in the distance that might be his breathing, and…

“Cas!”

Dean’s hand is suddenly on his cheek, and those are Dean’s eyes in front of him too.

“Hey, Cas, hey, you okay?”

Castiel focuses on the touch of Dean’s fingers on his face, and tries to force his breathing to calm down. He places his own hand over Dean’s, and presses down on it hard, trying to sear the feeling of Dean into his skin. Dean’s expression bleeds worry, and Castiel uses the fingers of his free hand to trace the deep lines on his forehead.

“You alright, buddy?” Dean repeats, after quite a few heartbeats have passed.

“Yeah. Yes, I’m fine.” And he thinks there might even be some truth to it, because Dean is here with him this time, and they will find their way out. They have to, just like they always have. With a last squeeze, he drops Dean’s hand, and Dean moves it to his shoulder before he takes it away and sits down next to him. “This is The Empty.”

“Yeah, I figured by now. Stupid place cut Baby in half. It better fucking fix her right back when we get out.” Dean lets out a sigh and turns to look at Cas, “So now, we sit down and wait?”

“I suppose so.”

“And you’re sure it got them?” Jack asks on the phone.

Sam places his hand on the half-Impala still standing in the middle of the road and winces in sympathy.

“Yeah, Jack, I’m pretty sure.” He hears the flapping of wings behind him, and when he turns to look back at Mary, Jack is standing next to her with a pained expression.

“I don’t know if I can find It.”

His voice sounds as small as he looks.

“So yeah, sometimes I really wonder, does he actually want to rule and be king, or does he just keep falling into it because his people want him to, and he feels he owes them? Or ‘cause he thinks he’s still got something to prove for being a bastard?” With Dean’s head on his shoulder, Castiel feels Dean’s animation as he speaks with every movement of hair under his cheek, and the rumble of Dean’s voice courses through his body. Dean’s thumb traces rhythmic circles on his knee. “‘Cause I mean, don’t get me wrong, he’s actually doing a decent job of it, but he’s got Sansa back home, who actually wants it and is growing so much to be a natural leader, and then Dany, who has made it her goal since the beginning. And I don’t know, you might say she’s a bit too temperamental for it, but she’s also grown a lot, and at the end of the day, her decisions tend to be for the good of the people, so she ain’t a bad choice. And now when people find out he’s actually the heir to the Iron Throne, he won’t even have anything to prove anymore, so once the army of the dead is smoking barbeque… you know, I’m just saying.”

“Let Jon Snow retire and move somewhere quiet with Ghost?”

“Exactly.” Dean lifts his head and grins at Castiel, and he returns it with fond eyes. The silence that falls over them as they sit and feel their shoulders pressed against one another is a comfortable one, but The Empty has a way of sapping the warmth away, so Dean’s voice is barely a sad whisper when he speaks again. “What was it like, last time you were here?”

“When I first woke up, there was nothing. I remembered the pain of Lucifer stabbing me and my grace burning out, but I could feel none of it, and nothing around me either. The Empty seems a lot emptier when you are here alone.” He glances at Dean with a small smile. “That lasted for a while—not that time feels any real here. But then my shouts woke It up.”

Castiel falls silent, and he can feel the intensity of Dean’s eyes burning a hole through his temple. His hand has found its place on Castiel’s knee again, this time with a grounding grip.

“The Empty, It took my face to mock me, and to try to get me back to sleep”—Castiel can feel the unmoving tension in his body, the strain on his voice as he talks— “It showed me all the times I failed you, and tried to convince me that there was nothing for me back home—that no one wanted me back.”

“Cas, that’s not—”

“I know.”

He turns to look at Dean now, expression tight and pleading, and Dean understands, nods with eyes that promise he won’t interrupt until Castiel is done talking. So Castiel keeps talking, but keeps his eyes on Dean’s this time. On the edge of his vision, he can see his own distorted reflection on the Impala’s door.

“It told me that I would just keep making big mistakes and ruining everything if I came back, so it would be better for everyone if I just stayed dead. I think it may have worked if It had stolen your face and your voice—I would have listened and gone back to sleep. But it was just a bad imitation of myself, and if I’m always making horrible mistakes... why would I have listened to myself? I would probably be wrong about that too.

“And I couldn’t just leave you and Sam to deal with Lucifer and Jack, when they were my responsibility... And I wanted to come back to you. So I fought the Empty, and I fought the part of myself that agreed with its taunting, and just thought of getting to see you again.”

Dean’s face has been melting and transforming with growing concern as he’s spoken, settling into a stained-glass portrait so soft and openly shining through with pain, that Castiel finds he can’t bear to look at its burning light any longer.

“And if it turned out that my coming back ruined everything again, then I would deal with the fall out, as is my duty. But I wanted to be selfish and get back to you, take the opportunity that was presented to me. And now, not even a year later, The Empty is broken and spreading throughout Earth, and I can’t help but think it might have been better if I’d listened to It the first time. Maybe this whole situation is my fault.”

Castiel stares at his fingers and lets himself feel the pull of The Empty. If he doesn’t fight It, Dean’s warmth and the solid reassurance of the Impala against his back starts to dissipate, becomes unreal until he is no longer able to feel them, and he starts to lose all sense of his own physical existence. He desperately holds on to the sensation of Dean’s touch, and realises that that’s not the only difference from his memory of It. Last time, he had felt nothing around him, and yet there was a constant feeling of being closely observed, never tangible enough to pinpoint, but permeating the whole oppressive nothingness. That feeling is absent now, making the nothingness feel truly void, and he wonders if the consciousness that he confronted is elsewhere, if that’s even possible.

“I almost killed myself a few hours before you came back.”

“Dean!”

His train of thought abruptly interrupted, Castiel’s hand wraps itself tightly around Dean’s arm, his other hand finding Dean’s resting between their bodies. Dean gives it a squeeze and sends a small smile his way before continuing:

“It wasn’t completely intentional, more of a careless decision than a suicide attempt, but when I realised I was dead, I didn’t really care much. Billie was there, expecting me to beg her to bring me back, and telling me that we had important work ahead or whatever. But I didn’t really wanna be back? If I was dead, then fine, that was my time, I was cool with it.” Dean lets out a sad laugh. “It woulda sucked for Sam, though, me dying on him right after losing mom and you, and with a weird Nephilim kid to look after. But I wasn’t even thinking of that at the time. I just thought he’d be fine eventually, wouldn’t have to take care of his sad sack brother, and he could keep looking for mom if he wanted to.”

Dean’s thumb keeps tracing a pattern on his hand, and Castiel is still holding on to him, no intention of letting go.

“The only thing I was thinking at the time was how I couldn’t save you. Not you, not mom. What did it matter if I died? When I couldn’t protect the people that really matter,” he raises his head and looks at Castiel. “The people I love. Guess I just felt like life wasn’t really much worth living if you weren’t there with me.” The corners of his mouth feel tense in his smile to Castiel, like they are struggling against the weight of all his years’ worth of deep-settled sadness.

Castiel opens his mouth to try to soothe his pain, but before he can even think of what to say to that kind of confession, Dean keeps talking:

“So when you say there’s a part of you that thinks no one would miss you here... I mean, I ain’t dumb enough to not see it’s my fault in big part. I keep telling you we need you, like this is about cases or saving the world or whatever, like that’s enough to show you what I mean, when what I— what I actually mean, what I want to say, I mean— it’s, you know...”

He closes his mouth to stop the stuttering, puts all his determination into the look he fixes on Castiel’s face and takes a deep breath.

“I always want you here,” he huffs, a slightly frantic laugh escaping him, and he looks around himself, before settling his gaze back onto Castiel, “Okay, not here-here, like the Empty here, but... with me. I—I always want you by my side. And not because you’re useful or because you think you owe us or it’s your duty or some other bullshit, but because you’re you, and I’m always a lot happier when you’re around, Cas. And if you ever fuck up, then you’re no different than me and Sam, and mistakes are always easier to fix when we’re together anyway. I still want you around, no matter what.”

Castiel realises that his hand has tightened around Dean’s to the point of making it white, but Dean is holding back just as hard, and he doesn’t feel he would be able to let go at the moment, even if he wanted to. His grace feels tight inside his body, like it’s not enough to hold him anymore, but it’s not his grace that’s the problem. All his doubts, all his feelings of not belonging anywhere, are boiling inside of him, evaporating to make room for an immense amount of hope, of joy, of love. He knows his face lets it flow freely, and it carries in his voice when he finds his words:

“You want me to stay because I’m family. Because I am your brother, like you said.”

Dean snorts at that, and buries his face in his hands with a smile. “God, I really am a fucking idiot.” He brings his hands up to hold Castiel’s face, steadily keeps him in place while his eyes burn with fierce openness. “No, Cas, you’re not my brother. It’s always different with you.”

And if Castiel needed any clarification, he can’t ask for it, because Dean seals all his meaning with his lips, kisses his I love yous loud and clear, pushes them deep inside Castiel, makes him feel even fuller and ready to burst. So Castiel unloads all his love into Dean in return, his kisses answering as vehemently as Dean needs to hear it. And this wordless conversation, it is the most truthful and clear they have ever had.

In the silence that follows, one so full of light and warmth that even The Empty can’t steal it away from them, Dean starts yawning in his contentment, burrowing his face into Castiel’s neck. “I got a feeling that sleeping here is the worst idea ever—feels kind of eternal. But we’ve been here forever, man. I dunno if I can keep awake much longer.”

Castiel can feel Dean’s heartbeat under his arm, a pulsating flame that reaches out to him, strong as ever. “Go to sleep, Dean, I’ll watch over you. I’ll make sure you wake up.”

So Dean smiles at him, moves to settle down between Castiel’s legs with his back against his chest, kisses his jaw, and goes to sleep in the protective home of Castiel’s arms, holding him, keeping him safe from The Empty’s pull.

That’s how Jack finds them a timeless amount of time later.

#DESTIEL #profoundnet #spn fanfic #deancas fic #spn coda #THIS TOOK ME LITERAL MONTHS TO WRITE SO I MAY BE CRYING A BIT AT THE FACT THAT I AM ACTUALLY POSTING WRITING AGAIN #;U;#Coolification writes #Endgame #The Big Empty #woah I ficked

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venusdebotticelli · 6 years

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I just finished watching Scoobynatural AND IT WAS A FUCKING WONDERFUL EPISODE :D :D :D

I straight up cackled out loud many MANY times, and the characterisation of tfw of course was based on surface stereotypes, but still in a way that was way more subversive and meta than I was expecting :D

Like, Dean for example, they played up the skirt chasing and eating aspect a lot (to the point where it was really cringy with daphne sometimes, not gonna lie), but then he unapologetically loved his purple nightgown, and he was such a sweet and enthusiastic fanboy the whole time, and so protective of the whole scooby gang¿? and his rivalry with fred was completely filled with sexual tension and was Very Very Bisexual :P like “his perfect hair and his ‘can do’ attitude and his stupid ascot”¿? dean pls :P Also, that bit at the end where he gets excited about the bad dude saying the iconic phrase, and then looks at the camera and does scooby’s shout and is very proud of his ascot, and Cas and Sam RIGHTFULLY try to avoid any association with him by walking away from him was FUCKING EMBARRASSING AND I FUCKING LOVED IT :D And Jensen ABSOULTELY MURDERED ME in the scene where they had to burn the ghost child and he had ACTUAL GODDAMN TEARS IN HIS EYES ;A;

As much as I dislike Cas being stuck in the trope of the goofy sidekick, I actually really enjoyed his relationship with Shaggy and Scooby too, and I thought it was really sweet how he was the one to grab them and carry them while running the second time around, and how he jumped behind them to save them, and what he said to them at the end too :,) Also highlights: “Dean had him by the thigh!” “He whAT? *squint*”, “*That’s* the plan???” all judgy, and apparently he’s married to the queen of sirian djinns now, cool :P

ALSO SAM, all skeptic and grumbly at first, but then also contributing examples to Dean’s emotional cheer up speech, and being great with Velma :D

ALSO VELMA, COMPLETELY DEVOID OF SHAME THIRSTING OVER SAM AND HIS SHOULDERS, AND DRAGGING HIM FOR HIS DUMB GHOST THEORIES, AND THEN DIPPING HIS WHOLE LUGGING BODY LIKE HE’S A DELICATE PRINCESS TO PLANT A KISS ON HIM, LIKE YES GIRL! GO GET IT! WHAT A FUCKING HERO, WHAT AN ABSOLUTE ROLE MODEL, I LOVE HER :D

AND DAPHNE READY TO FIST FIGHT THE GHOST WHEN DEAN DRAGGED HER AWAY WAS GREAT TOO :D

And when Dean was being petty af towards fred and in return he was all sweet and nice to him, like “yes! I made a new friend! he’s a lil’ weird but I like him all the same! :D”

And the whole Scooby gang having an existential crisis was fucking hilarious too, and later on when Velma was like “Give me a shotgun!” and Daphne was like “Give me TWO shotguns!”, it was fucking great, I loved it :D

IT WAS A GODDAMN TREASURE OF AN EPISODE, IT WAS A DELIGHT :D

#Scoobynatural #spn 13x16 #spn spoilers #I AM IN ECSTASIES MY DUDES :D #WHAT A GOOD #:D :D :D :D :D :D :D #Coolification writes #okay by the time I finished writing this post I actually finished watching the episode a few hours ago #but then I got distracted :P

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venusdebotticelli · 6 years

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I just realised I didn't mention it in my shouty reaction post, even though I wanted to talk about it, but even better, because now it gets its own post that it deserves:

How absolutely cool is it that Dean, being an outsider in a cartoon world, is familiar with the look of an object that's obviously been placed there to be interacted with, and breaking the fourth wall, actually uses that knowledge to advance their case when he pulls the book?

In other words, he is familiar with the conventions of the storytelling medium, and is able to apply that knowledge to the situation presented to him, which proves fruitful :p

I JUST FUCKING LOVE HOW META THIS EPISODE WAS IN EVERY ASPECT :D

#dean is rapunzel #:D #spn meta #kind of #More like meta meta meta :p #Scoobynatural #spn spoilers #spn 13x16 #Coolification writes

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venusdebotticelli · 6 years

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I just woke up from a nap where I dreamt up a whole alternative version of Infinity War, and in it Thanos aligned all the planets kind of like that scene in Hercules, and then pushed the planets to crash into each other and destroy each other like that, and on Earth Gamora and Quill and others were trying to stop him by convincing him that Gamora, who he thought dead at first, still loved him or sth idk, that's not the part of the plot I want to focus on though.

What I want to do focus on is what was going on in Asgard during that time, because it killed me ;u; Basically in this dream Asgard was one of the nine planets that aligned, and it was about to be destroyed, they could see the next planet swiftly approaching. Thor was king in there, and like, the events of Ragnarok were still a thing here, because he was still missing an eye and he wore an eye-patch when resting or an artificial eye when in battle, but for some reason he still had his whole family with him, Frigga, Loki and Odin. And at the beginning of the dream his hair was short, but it grew longer during the dream, and by the end of it he wore it in a couple of really nice french braids that his lover made for him in bed every night. And the dream didn't tell me who his lover was, but I am glad he was getting that kind of soft and gentle care, because honestly, after infinity war and Ragnarok this boy really deserves some sweet love ;u; And his mom Frigga even commented on how content and comfortable and ~*soft*~ he looked, and that it was an uncommon look for a king, and thor's answer was something along the lines of "this is who I've always been but only now do I get the chance to be comfortable with it", and this was while there was A GODDAMN PLANET like taking up the whole sky and about to crash into them, let me remind you, all of Asgard just standing there with their weapons drawn and awaiting their death looking up at the sky. So idk, thor getting to be content and surrounded by loved ones and comfortable in his own (very queer and very healthy masculinity :p) skin even at the end of times was like the sweetest thing ever ;u;

And idk what happened to them in the end, from the perspective of Gamora and co. on earth I got to see the shattered pieces of Asgard spreading through the sky, but then I woke up and never got to see the crash from Asgard's pov, but I refuse to think they died, I'm sure they're fine :p

#I am having uuuh how do you say... The Feelings™ and I die 🙃#Thor #YOU DARLING #;A;#EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM WAS SO FUCKING GENTLE ON THIS DREAM #TT A TT #I CRY #Honestly not only was Ragnarok a superb film #But also Hemsworth absolutely knocked it out of the park with his performance in IW #He was one of my favourite things about that film #He shattered me ;u; ;n; ;A;#mcu #Coolification writes #fanfiction #Kind of #¿?¿?

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venusdebotticelli · 6 years

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@laudarias ha respondido a tu publicación “I was watching the Spanish dubbed version of Heaven Can’t Wait,...”

Do nothing. First, if I recall, it was sarcasm. And Second: in Spanish we have two words. Querer and Amar. Which both would translate in English to Love. But the thing is Querer, te quiero, is way softer than, te amo. Like. It's sort of like when your friend does you a little favour and you're like "thx, luv ya, bff" *blows kiss*. So yeah. Querer is way lower than Amar. Te quiero is just the tip of the iceberg.

Gracias por la explicación super condescendiente de mi propia lengua materna¿?

I don’t know what exactly brought you to leave this comment on an almost three year old post, but on top of being condescending as fuck, your complete lack of nuance also happens to be wrong.

That difference between “querer” and “amar” might be so in some latin-american countries, but it is not the case in Spain, which happens to be where the dubbing was from. In Spain they both have the same intensity of meaning, the only difference being that “amar” is the old-fashioned version, which sounds a lot more formal and no one uses in normal conversation unless we’re using it as sarcastic or humorous hyperbole. The expression “vaya, yo también te quiero” also happens to be a very common sarcastic saying in Spain when a friend is being unnecessarily brusque with you, which was the case in this scene and also the same tone that the original “wow, hello to you too” had in English.

The original post was not denying that¿? I wasn’t implying that Dean had seriously confessed his love to Cas in some random phone conversation out of the blue¿?

It was just a post pointing out that, while in the original English Dean’s inability to ever say the words “love” to anyone was a theme that had been made A Big Deal™ throughout the show, foreign dubs were just throwing the language of love out there willy-nilly in casual conversation, which I find hilarious and also very pleasing as someone who enjoys their relationship, so I just made a post being amused and excited about it and sharing the knowledge with other people who might enjoy it too.

So when you come to my light-hearted post three years later, saying “Do nothing”, dismissing something that makes me excited, and trying to ruin my fun by giving shitty explanations that completely miss the point, your insubstantial opinion is completely unwanted and unnecessary, so get the hell away from my post, thanks.

And anyway, your obnoxious comment is irrelevant, but thanks for reminding me of that old post, because this just makes it even more amusing and heartbreaking to me that the first time Dean has ever said the words “I’m in love” on screen while talking about having found a romantic soulmate to properly settle down with and stuff, it happened to be a love spell by a witch and not even a real thing. So even in English now he has actually said the words out loud to Sam, and yet they were still meaningless. Because as much of an importance as the narrative has placed on the theme of Saying The Right Words, it’s still just as important that he says them to the right person and under the right circumstances, and it also makes me very excited! So I’m doing the exact same thing I did three years ago, which is to write a goddamn post about it for other people to get excited too, así que hala, adiós, piérdete :P

#DESTIEL #Heaven Can't Wait #Various And Sundry Villains #parallels #kind of #spn meta #kinda #not really but anyway ssshhhh :P #Coolification writes #wank for ts #is it really wank¿? am I being kind of a dick to this person¿?#idk that reply included at least five of my biggest pet peeves and was really uncalled for so I don't really care :P #pffffffft #''Do nothing''#when I'm merrily getting excited about something...#NOT ON MY BLOG

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venusdebotticelli · 6 years

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I've seen someone complaining about "the Italian" spoken in yesterday's episode being inaccurate, but Maltese language is also a thing, and it has a few things in common with Italian, because it is a bit of an amalgamation of many different Mediterranean languages. The thing is, even though I've been to Malta before, I don't actually know enough about either language to be able to tell which one of them was being used yesterday. Also because they characterised all the mobsters and even the priest as very stereotypically Italian, even though I think they were supposed to be Maltese iirc?

So does anyone know what language it was? :p

#A Most Holy Man #Coolification writes #spn 13x15

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venusdebotticelli · 6 years

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"We're not at the end yet" - Okay, first off there's a pattern of queerbaiting that's as long as the show (since Dean was coded as bi right from the start), and second, how exactly are you 'throwing them under the bus' for being a band of homophobes? By writing metas and supporting the show? Please. And one more thing - if I was attacking meta writers, it's precisely because I know how metaing works and I've seen people turn from dotty professors to ferocious preachers over the last two years./

Many people are aggressive rn, they call you a heller and a hater simply for pointing out what we were free to discuss as late as S10 - that yes, the story was built on romantic tropes but it wasn’t going anywhere. There is no good reason for keeping this in the subtext, and yet we’re being attacked for even suggesting that after 9 years they should make it textual or go home. Tbh, I’m very annoyed, saddened and let down by this behavior and the constant implication we’re stupid and bitter.

I think this is just a misunderstanding of what I’m saying¿? You have the certainty that it’s not going anywhere, but I don’t¿? I’m not a mind reader and I’m not in the writers’ room, so I have no idea where the story is going, but I definitely think there’s a strong possibility of it going explicit canon before the end of the show, simply because when I interpret the story that’s the direction it’s strongly pointing at in my opinion.

If I think of reasons for it *not* to go explicit, I can only come up with behind the scenes reasons, like network executives being awful and getting on the way, or the writers pulling a Buckleming/Charlie and just derailing the plot in a completely stupid and insulting way for no good reason. As I’ve already said, I think the writers have the moral obligation to make it canon at this point, and as a queer woman I’d be furious if they didn’t, because as I personally see it, in my own interpretation, there’s absolutely no reason storywise for them not to explicitly acknowledge the romantic story between Dean and Cas.

So, you have chosen to believe the story isn’t going anywhere. I have chosen to believe it probably is going in that direction, because that’s the logical conclusion I see for it and I think the writers *should* honour the groundwork they’ve laid down, but I have no idea what’s coming down the line, and I know it’s by no means a certainty they’re actually going there, so I just choose to appreciate what we already have, without inherently expecting to be disappointed. When I look at the story I see how they are getting to the point I think they’re getting at. When you look at the story you see more narrative they’re just gonna drop with no payoff, because you don’t think they’re going there. So literally until the show finishes and we see how they wrap it up neither your opinion nor mine are wrong or right.

And with that established, let me just mention some specific points:

“We’re not at the end yet” - Okay, first off there’s a pattern of queerbaiting that’s as long as the show (since Dean was coded as bi right from the start)

I think we just have a different definition of queerbaiting here. Queerbaiting for me is the inclusion of obviously queer elements with the sole intention of drawing in queer viewers, without ever intending to explicitly deliver on them or treat them with respect. If we go by that, I wouldn’t say the first few seasons were really queerbating, because even though Dean was queer-coded, it was ambiguous and vague enough that I wouldn’t really consider it a call to queer people, so much as a reading that’s there if you want to make it, but isn’t really tangible enough to really hold the writers accountable for it. And the jokes they made about Dean and Sam, while they could be considered in poor taste, allude to incest so obviously no queer person is gonna expect anything from them.

Once they introduced Cas and the jokes started to be about Dean and him, you could argue that it was queerbaiting, also because the queer-coding got stronger. It was shitty, but the show didn’t end there.

It kept going and now as far back as s7 we have had a continuous queer narrative constantly being built upon, that took them from friends to whatever they are now, and that’s still being built, so of course until the story is finished there’s no way to tell if it’s going to be queerbaiting or not. Calling the current narrative “queerbaiting” would be like closing a book halfway through and deciding you have been cheated and lead on because you never got to read a kiss or a resolution or whatever. Until the story finishes, it’s just Schrödinger’s queerbaiting, and going into people’s inboxes telling them they’re harming the queer community or whatever because they’re not certain it will end badly is a shitty thing to do. Also, if Dean and Cas end up together by the end of the show, all of the instances of queer-coding in the show would be great build up for it, even if they weren’t intended as such at first. For those of us that like to think there’s a possibility of them getting together, this is all one great cohesive gigantic love story building up towards it, and that’s what we love about it when we explore it in meta, even if we still haven’t seen the resolution and can’t be sure that’s what it will be eventually.

I know the uncertainty and wait is frustrating and disheartening, but other people choosing to enjoy the ride and appreciate it in meta is in no way an attack towards you.

how exactly are you ‘throwing them under the bus’ for being a band of homophobes? By writing metas and supporting the show? Please.

I literally do not understand a single thing about this sentence. I think you read my disclaimer and understood exactly the opposite of what I said¿?

#AND OF COURSE WITH THE FUCKING DISCLAIMER THAT EVEN IF WE’RE PUMPED ABOUT THE LITERARY ASPECT OF IT #SOCIALLY SPEAKING THEY HAVE A FUCKING DUTY TO NOT THROW QUEER PEOPLE UNDER THE BUS YES FUCKING HELL #But we’re not at the end yet

What I said is that even though *us* meta writers enjoy the literary aspects of it as they are now, *the writers* have the social duty of openly acknowledging the queerness of it, and if they don’t, then *they the writers* are throwing *us queer people* under the bus. This is me holding them accountable to explicitly deliver on the queerness of it all, while still acknowledging that the story is ongoing, so just because they haven’t openly talked about it yet it doesn’t necessarily mean they’ve done anything wrong yet, as frustrating as it is to have it still be subtextual.

If I was attacking meta writers, it’s precisely because I know how metaing works and I’ve seen people turn from dotty professors to ferocious preachers over the last two years. Many people are aggressive rn, they call you a heller and a hater simply for pointing out what we were free to discuss as late as S10 […] There is no good reason for keeping this in the subtext, and yet we’re being attacked for even suggesting that after 9 years they should make it textual or go home. Tbh, I’m very annoyed, saddened and let down by this behavior and the constant implication we’re stupid and bitter.

I’m sorry you have had this experience in fandom, but personally I haven’t seen it in my corner of fandom, and certainly not from @elizabethrobertajones or me, whose inboxes are the ones you went into with all of this. I’m gonna speak both for myself and for what I have personally seen on Lizzy’s blog specifically when I say this, because this is what I personally have been able to observe and you seem to have a beef with:

As I said, expressing our optimism and enjoyment of the story as it unfolds is not “preaching”. Every time we discuss the show, we do it from our own perspective, and make it clear that we are speaking for *us*, that our opinion is not authoritative in any way and just a personal interpretation of what we see on the show, based on our personal knowledge of storytelling.

The people who like to call destiel shippers “hellers” come from the corner of fandom that hates castiel and thinks the show is only samndean and no one else, so literally the opposite of any meta writer I’ve ever seen, and certainly not Lizzy or me. Whatever aggression you’re receiving on that front is not coming from meta writers, so going to meta writers’ inboxes to attack them for it makes no sense whatsoever. (Not that attacking people in general makes any sense, but I digress)

We agree there’s absolutely no reason to keep it subtextual by the end of the show. Literally *no* meta I’ve ever seen or personally written has argued that it should stay subtextual. I’ve seen people saying, from a storytelling standpoint, they’re okay with it not being textual yet because they expect it to be later on, which is also my position. Again, this is just from what I’ve personally seen, but whenever that point has been made it has been an expression of a personal stance, not an attack against anybody else. Neither Lizzy nor I have ever attacked anyone for being frustrated with it not being textual yet, because we can certainly sympathise, and hell, I often share that same view too– I think it’s pure cowardice that it hasn’t been made explicit yet, but I can justify it with narrative reasons as long as there is a satisfying pay off later on. If there isn’t in the end, I know a massive group of positive meta writers will be storming the supernatural offices to claim their heads on a plate, and I’ll be one of them.

Again, I’m sorry you have been mistreated like this, but “this behaviour” is not coming from us, so turning us into whatever caricature of a meta writer you think we are, and dumping this in our inbox, is extermely rude.

PEOPLE ENJOYING AND POSITIVELY ANALYSING SOMETHING YOU HAVE A COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP WITH IS IN NO WAY A PERSONAL ATTACK TOWARDS YOU.

#elizabethrobertajones #we should do this a weekly thing yeah¿?#just like a coffee date to catch up #so pleasant -_-#wank for ts #DESTIEL #Dean is a huge BI btw #spn meta #kind of #Meta #Ask #Anonymous #Coolification writes #I feel like this is just a long post of me repeating the same things over and over with different wording #but I wanna make myself excruciatingly clear #so there's that

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venusdebotticelli · 6 years

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#I started writing a fic the other day #The first one I've got myself to write in over a fucking year #And it was going so well!!!!#I already now exactly what I want to happen in it right until the end #I already have it written in my head...#All of it except for this one scene I'm at right now #And it would be so easy to just write the rest of it and come bacl to this one tiny scene later on to tie it together...#But my ocd is Not Letting Me Do That #And aaaaaaaaaarrrrgggghhhhhhhh #Why do I do these things to myself?#-_-#So yeah if I manage to stop sabotaging myself #I should have a sort of speculative s14 endgame coda ready to post in the next few days #If someone wants to come talk to me about it on the chat feel free! :)#Maybe that'll get me out of this hole I dug myself into :p #Coolification writes #...#Except I never actually do 🙃

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venusdebotticelli · 7 years

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I just wrote a really long post that I don’t think I’m gonna actually post, or at least not just yet, because it’s very rambly and badly structured and I feel like I’m not being eloquent at all today and am taking very stupid and unnecessary twists and turns to get my point across, but it basically boils down to this:

I’ve been very disenchanted and disengaged with supernatural lately, my investment in the show taking a huge hit and going in steep decline since they killed Charlie. But this episode right here¿? This wonderful beautiful episode tonight¿? It just reminded me why I love this show so much to begin with, and why I love these characters so much, and just how incredibly good it has the potential to be when it focuses on its strong elements and writes them lovingly and to their true potential, not blandly half-assing and shying away from them.

It was a great piece for Dean and Cas’ relationship, painting the subtext with the romantic aspects that I feel have been sorely absent from it lately. It also strongly highlighted the familial love in Team Free Will, without it in any way deterring from the more intimate romantic one between Dean and Cas, but just adding more depth to it instead, and vice-versa. It was also a love song for Castiel as a character, and very promisingly laid the groundwork to deal with the very pressing issues of his self worth and non-belonging and suicidal feelings that just need being dealt with already. And it had heaps of mythology and continuity with/additions to original angel canon and characterisation that were quite butchered in the latest seasons (*cough*buckleming*cough*) and that are just so incredibly interesting to explore, and make the angels the awe-inspiring, inhuman, powerful marvels that they haven’t been in quite a while and I really missed, because Supernatural is best at writing its angels when they explore their humanity without discarding their vast, alien inhumanity. Also Cas in a female vessel has been a dream of mine forever, and I didn’t think I’d ever be lucky enough to properly get it in canon ;u; (because Clairestiel was too brief and pressing to count, and idk, I feel like my only criticism of the episode is just that the actress they chose for Cas just didn’t feel like him at all¿? She didn’t get his mannerisms or way of being in the slightest :S)

And basically I just want this episode to lovingly cradle me in its bossom forever, because it’s exactly what I know Supernatural can be and hasn’t in a long time, and what originally made me fall in love with it.

So tl;dr: Thank you Steve Yockey, that was fucking beautiful ;u;

#Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets #spn 12x10 #spn spoilers #DESTIEL #Castiel #Team Free Will #Angels #and others #Coolification writes

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venusdebotticelli · 7 years

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Okay, gather ‘round, children, ‘tis storytime!

Once upon a time when I’d just recently moved to Manchester, I needed to go do some paperwork in London, so I went and spent a couple of days with my uncle, who’s been living there for quite a few years.

It was a couple of days of sightseeing and eating cool food and basically just ~*¡¡¡London!!!*~, which sounds really nice, in theory. Thing is, it was a couple of days with just my uncle as company. At the time I didn’t think there was anything wrong with that, I thought it was a cool plan.

But here’s a non-exhaustive list of things I heard from him that weekend:

Autism is caused by drinking milk, and the government poisons the food in supermarkets so that only rich people can afford healthy food that won’t slowly kill them.

The government secretly murders all scientists who dare publicly speak out about this horrible truth.

All the abused women in the world deserve the treatment they get, because 100% of women (actual scientific statistic figure provided by him) always go for the assholes and ignore the Nice Guys™ like him.

The gays are horrible monsters who oppress the poor straights, because that one time he went into an Obviously Gay™ Gay Bar to have a drink on his own people gave him weird looks.

“I really don’t like the way you’re looking at me right now” -My uncle, to his queer niece, right after he said that we are horrible monsters who oppress the straights and have all the power in the world, because all the managers at his workplace are gay and very incompetent. (I’m pretty sure that means I was oppressing him with my stare, or something)

Apparently I just have a huge Victim Complex™, I like to victimise myself by seeing issues were there are none---says the aforementioned oppressed-by-the-gays-and-their-meanie-stares uncle.

This was around the time of the winter olympics in sochi, and when all the controversy about the Russian ban on gay propaganda was going strong, and people were actually getting arrested. One of the TVs at the pub we were at was broadcasting the olympics, and he thought it vital to inform me that the whole “gay thing” in Russia was just a ruse, a fake problem invented by the government to distract from the real truth of their shady dealings.

Apparently anything that affects the gays only is just a fake problem, because it’s not actually affecting anybody, y’kno¿? I’m guessing The Real Issues™ are just those that affect straight white men like him, everything else is just government fabricated distraction.

This is a very big secret, you know, highly classified information that he had confirmed by the obviously very reliable sources of his internet circles, so please read the next point at your own discretion, I don’t want the FBI/CIA/NHS kicking down your door in the middle of the night because you know too much:

There is a very very very exclusive gay night club, called The Black Rose or something like that iirc, where all the world’s biggest elites gather together in secret, you know, george bush, david cameron, vladimir putin, the clintons, to name a few, and they all partake in super secret initiation rituals that involve gay things that he couldn’t tell me about because they were too dark and perverse for my poor sensible ears to hear. But ovbiously that creates this huge Gay Elite ruling the world behind the scenes and oppresing all the straights globally.

I’m pretty sure there’s more stuff I’m forgetting, after all, this was around three years ago already, but you get the idea. It’s obviously the kind of edifying, fascinating conversation you’d pursue when your queer, autistic, just-turned-19 niece visits you in a foreign city and has no choice but to sleep in your house and to spend the whole two days with you :)

Perhaps a little unreasonably, my young self thought “Oh my goodness, this person is a little bonkers, maybe being a 50something year old man living on his own with no friends and the internet as his only company for years has slightly perturbed the waters of his mind¿? I feel a little alienated, I’d rather avoid his company in the future, whenever possible”. That is exactly the delicate way I told my friends about it in the next five hours of bus ride back to Manchester, fo’ sho’, no furious whatsapp ranting was involved at all :P

Anyway, as was my intention, I kept ignoring his existence, and only warily skimming through, and affording no response to, his emails full of links to conversation threads about the moral failings of letting beings like Conchita Wurst show their faces on respectable TV and similar topics.

It’s been a few years now, and every once in a while my grandma mentions that when he talks to him he’s really sad I don’t keep in contact with him, and that he thinks I’m quite ungrateful, and that he’d like to know what’s going on with my life and for us to see each other every now and again, and that he’d like to help me out in this foreign country we’re both living in but that I just don’t give him the chance. My mum also asks me whether I’d like to get in contact with him and go visit, sometimes, though not as often. Today was one of those times, since apparently they’ve been talking lately, and he asked her about me, and my mum sent him some of the assignments I did for class, which I’m quite proud of.

One of those is my poetry assignment, which includes five poems and an analysis of three of them, and the poems are quite personal pieces treating topics such as queer love, my mental illness and autism, and toxic societal ideals surrounding romantic relationships. His answer to that¿? He told my mum to look up the concept of “Generation Snowflake”, of all bloody things. Lemme just helpfully give you the definition of that here:

Generation Snowflake, or Snowflake Generation, is a term used to characterise young adults of the 2010s as being more prone to taking offence and less resilient than previous generations, or too emotionally vulnerable to cope with views that challenge their own. It is considered derogatory.

So now I ask of you, dear friends, to send me links to posts and articles giving good rebuttals to the utter bullshit that is that bloody baby-boomer concept, because I know I’ve read some very good ones here on tumble dot com, but I can’t for the life of me figure out how to even begin finding them. Please help me out here¿?

#can you just feel my seething snowflake rage seeping through the sarcasm in here¿?#I AM SO FUCKING ANGRY WHAT THE FUCK I DIDN'T ASK TO BE RELATED TO SUCH A DISGUSTING INDIVIDUAL?¿#I should probably tell my mum about this incident #Originally I didn't want to tell her because he's her brother and stuff and this is just straight up weird and concerning #but if he's still asking about me on a regular basis #and my mum thinks it's a-okay to send such personal stuff to this fucking nutcase like he's just a normal family member #then maybe I should make it clear to her that I want absolutely nothing to do with him and my reasons why #UGH #*turns into a rage monster and destroys the city of tokyo*#personal #Coolification writes #Stop the world I want off

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