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dxlansfxck · 5 years

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BLOOD // WATER [G.D] † 01

Summary: Grayson Dolan, better known as “el diablo” – Los Angeles’ most known gang leader and drug lord – doesn’t usually think twice when it comes to killing someone that is dangerous for his business. One night, he meets this mysterious woman that out of nothing wants to start dancing in one of his DEVILISH-nightclubs. Once their heated relationship got more intense, he knew he’d be killing for her too – and realizes how handy she actually could be for him and the revenge he’s been longing for years.

Warnings: mentions of violence, sex work, stripping / pole dance, soft smut, gun use, blonde & tattooed Gray (it should be a warning bc it’s hot, lol)

Word Count: 14.5k

Saturday, 13th August 2016. 10:47 PM

Loud, obnoxious sounds were filling the crowded streets of Los Angeles, caused by a pack of luxurious cars racing down the 700 Main St, passing by tourists and locals that were trying to get to the annual beach party on Venice Beach. The leading car, a black Mercedes AMG CLA 45, came to an abrupt halt, all the other cars stopping right behind it. The tinted windows rolled down as one hand motioned the crew to take a turn on the left side, while the Mercedes went the other way, trying to find a free parking lot somewhere… inconspicuous. Not that this car wasn’t inconspicuous at all, Jalen chose the sleek black one instead of his bright green Corvette, but it wasn’t even his job to fulfill this task on his own. Usually, Grayson didn’t give him those kinds of jobs, knowing that Jalen could do better, but today, everything was different. They were so close to reach their goal; Jalen just had to make sure everything worked out as planned – so he decided to do it by himself.

Grabbing his sunglasses, he stepped out of the car in one swift motion, closing the door behind him while walking towards the more and more crowded beach where loud music was playing, and drunk people were either grinding on each other or fucking in the ocean. He scoffed at the exhilarating freedom those people must be savoring, knowing that by tomorrow, some of them wouldn’t be there to celebrate anymore. On the other hand, it wasn’t his fault that they chose the wrong side.

Jalen quickly pulled out his phone, texting Grayson that he was there and telling him to look after him if he wouldn’t call him within the next two hours. Then, he muted his phone, stuffing it back into the pockets of his worn-down jeans while putting on some random base cap he found in the trunk. Lighting a cigarette, he passed some couples that were in the middle of making out, not caring about them at all – he was looking for someone different.

The heavy weight of the Glock that was pushed into his underwear was something he was used to by now, even though he wasn’t one to use it on a regular basis. Like already said, he wasn’t the one to do that. The diablo’s hierarchy was strict, no one could ever come even near the rank that Grayson Dolan had, that was for sure. But Jalen, he was a close second, maybe even qualified enough to be called the vice president. He was still out there in the streets, looking for his rookies sometimes, but most of his business was behind a desk, just like Grayson’s. Neither of them was the one to have blood on their hands, why else would they have hundreds of members following their instructions?

This time was different, though. Jalen couldn’t sleep over the fact that someone else could be the one to kill this motherfucker, the one that seduced his girlfriend, the one that had her pinned underneath his body when he was out there on a business meeting with Grayson. He found out rather quickly, he left no one he was close to without observation, but he couldn’t believe that the whore he used to think of as a loving girlfriend would ever dare to cheat on him with Kyle Houck. This edgy, wannabe tattooed bastard? Yeah, no chance that he’ll be surviving this night.

11:43 PM

The beach got more crowded as the time passed by, but Kyle Houck was yet nowhere to be found. Jalen has updated Grayson, talked to a few other gang members that were there as well, but neither of them has seen the target yet. Jalen grew nervous and impatient, wanting this night to be over as soon as possible to head back home where his younger sister was possibly waiting for him. Y/N never liked the thought of him being part of this gang, even though she didn’t know what exactly he was doing in there. But he loved his family, wanting them to be protected for the rest of their lives – and Grayson was one of the few people that could help him with that.

Sunday, 14th August 2016. 12:18 AM

A mob of teal hair passed Jalen’s field of vision, causing him to be more attentive than he’s already been, following the colorful head with his eyes, slowly walking after him without getting noticed by the dancing crowd. Sweaty bodies were pressed against his and Jalen couldn’t help but cringe at that, hating all those people but envying them at the same time. Their life was easy and fun, his on the other hand was full of risks and worries, weighing too heavy on his shoulders.

The gun he had checked multiple times by now was burning into his skin, ready to be used any moment from now, but Jalen had to wait, not wanting to cause a mass hysteria. Kyle walked further down the beach to a part where just a few random people were standing with red cups in their hands, probably talking somewhere quieter. Jalen acted as if he was concentrated on his phone. ‘Got him” was sent to Grayson before he raised his glance just to be found right across from Kyle motherfucking Houck. Jalen was quick to grab his weapon, but Kyle was faster – and smiled down at him. “Hello there”, he grinned while almost softly caressing his own gun.

“Houck”, Jalen spoke through gritted teeth, loading his gun while pointing it at his opponent. The tattooed man laughed at his reaction, angling his head. “What brings you to our side of the beach, Y/L/N? This is Angelo Vendicatore territory and it makes you”, he steps closer to him, “our prey.”

Just then, Jalen realized where he was, surrounded by AV members. “Fuck”, he hissed, reaching into his pockets with one hand to press the quick call button that was holding Grayson’s number while still looking at Kyle, but he was too late. Just as Jalen was about to make his only shot – a shot that had to be on point -, he heard a loud noise followed by the worst pain he had ever felt. His ears were ringing, and his body was on fire, a loud scream escaping his lips as he randomly shot his bullet into Kyle’s direction, not even hitting him in the process, before he fell to the ground with a loud groan. “Y/N”, was all he could say, not wanting to leave his sister yet, needing to see her finally get a man, build up a family, moving out of their parent’s house. He promised to take care of them, but he broke his promise. He broke his life goal. Laughs and applause was heard, but he couldn’t concentrate on that while feeling such pain. Jalen cried, not caring about it at all, his vision getting blurry and his breaths coming shorter than he’d like them to come. He felt so, so cold and he was hurt. Flashes enlightened somewhere in the corner of his eyes, knowing that someone must either film this scenario or at least take enough pictures to threaten Grayson with them.

By all goods, he just hoped Y/N would never be able to see them.

Y/N. With the thought of his sister, he closed his eyes one last time.

Late July, 2019

“Maybe you should go for it, Y/N. I know what they say about el diablo, but he never disrespects any of his girls – and you’ll be save around there. Jalen is dead, we can’t change that. It’s been over three years, you need to get your head back up, honey”, Zavi mumbles while scrolling through different web pages, looking for a better job opportunity than dancing in a night club. You sigh, pulling some of your thick braids in a knot. “I know that he’s dead, Zav, thanks for reminding me”, you shake your head, trying to get rid of the tears forming in your eyes. “But it’s el diablo, he’s known for killing people! What if I fall down the pole or anything like that? He fucking killed his twin brother’s fiancé because she was pregnant, and he wanted to get out of the gang!”

It was true, Grayson Dolan wasn’t known to be the nicest human being on earth, he killed many people – not that anything was proven by the police -, but people around the streets knew what he was able to do. He might not be the one to kill those people himself, but he for sure was the one that shoot the shot in this woman’s heart, enjoying the view of her falling to the ground, crying out her baby’s name while Ethan had to watch the entire time, not being able to move. Grayson’s men were holding him down, making him feel every bit of pain his fiancé had to feel, watching her life end while tears burnt his cheeks. Soon enough, her eyes showed no emotions anymore, her mouth hang open, but no sound came out, her heart stopped beating, still losing blood. And the baby never made its way into the daylight. At least, that’s what the rumors said.

Rumors said also, that Ethan killed himself right after that, others said that he managed to leave the gang, joining another one while promising to ruin Grayson Dolan’s life. But no one knows for sure what happened after that one special night. You didn’t know who exactly killed your brother, but you for sure knew that Ethan Grant Dolan was still alive, running the Angelo Vendicatore like his life depended on it. Yet, not many people have seen him ever since that night, leaving him to be as mysterious as you could imagine.

“Y/N, stop it! It’s your decision, I could totally talk to my boss if we have another spot left in the team, but you were the one that said working in a pet store isn’t going to pay your rent”, Zavi shakes her head while writing the number of the DEVILISH-nightclub down. “That’s the number I found online. Give them a call, maybe even just go there to introduce yourself, I don’t think Grayson Dolan himself will be the one to decide who’s going to work there or not. He’s probably too busy buying and selling drugs.” She shrugs her shoulders before standing up and pressing a kiss to her best friend’s cheek. “I’ll call you tonight, okay?” You just sit there and nod, still thinking about Grayson Dolan, while Zavi was already on her way out of the small apartment.

You knew you were in desperate need for a job, your parents didn’t even bother sending you any money to pay the rent when they moved away over two years ago, leaving you in the city where your brother was buried, but not wanting to live there themselves anymore. You on the other hand couldn’t imagine living anywhere else, Los Angeles was the city you grew up in, so many memories you had in each and every street that you could never leave that town. It was the city of angels during the day, but the city of the devil in the night – the city of el diablo, the city of Grayson Dolan.

Letting out another sigh, you quickly type in the nightclub’s number in your phone, breathing in a few times before pressing the call button, letting it ring for a while, but nobody answered. “Seems like I need to go there on my own”, you huff before standing up, taking a deeper look into your wardrobe, searching for an outfit to wear while having a job interview at a night club as a stripper.

You, of course, didn’t know what to expect there, trying to be prepared for anything that could happen. Starting off with a shower, an intense shaving session and you even exfoliated your skin to make it extra smooth. “I should’ve gone to the waxing appointment with Zavi.” You muttered, annoyed at the amount of time you just spent shaving, knowing that by tomorrow you’d for sure be covered in stubble again.

Now onto the big decision: what was the best way to show off your body, but not looking like a whore? On the other hand, it was a strip club, you might need to show off more than you usually would. You were standing in front of your full body mirror, the opened wardrobe right next to it, clothes were shattered all around your feet, some on top of your bed, but you felt like neither of them fitted. Usually, you’d go out in oversized band shirts and leggings or high waisted jeans, completely fitting into the whole “grunge/arthoe”-aesthetic without even trying. You didn’t like to dress up, all your clothes were comfortable but still cool looking, completely fitting your tattooed body. If you’d ever dance for el diablo’s nightclub, you’d dance in an outfit you feel good in.

Around an hour later, you decided on wearing a black button up skirt that ended mid-thigh and was tight, hugging the curves of your butt perfectly, showing off what you’ve got. Usually, you’d combine that skirt with a jeans jacket and an oversized shirt, knotted above your stomach, but that just wasn’t sexy enough. Grayson Dolan had the most beautiful, exotic woman dancing for him, skinny girls with porcelain-like skin, completely different from your dark skin and tattooed, curvy body. Back in the days people would call you out different names, not realizing that your skin color didn’t make your personality. You are black, who cares? You couldn’t change that anyways – and you love your skin, love the way it makes your light green eyes pop out and how white your teeth looked even though you were literally running on coffee.

One problem you’ve always had with finding cute tops was that your boobs were too big to wear most of them. That’s why you always decided onto something loose, showing off your hips and butt instead of your cleavage, but you felt strong and confident tonight, deciding on wearing a leather harness-bralette with some fishnet long sleeve over it. You’d totally dig some fishnet tights as well, but wouldn’t want to overdo it just yet, needing to find a pair of shoes fitting to that outfit. For you, it was usually either a pair of Doc Martens or some sneakers, but for today you decided to go with your old Jeffrey Campbell heels, the ones you wanted to badly but never wore them because they were made out of black leather and covered in studs. Well, tonight was the night.

LA’s streets were still filled with people, even though it was around 11 PM now. You didn’t like going out there alone, walking the streets on your own without anyone to protect you – especially in that outfit. For your hair and makeup, you kept it quite simple: bold brows, eyeliner and mascara, some highlighter and lip gloss. But still, you were popping out in the nightlife, people were looking at you with confused looks on their faces, eyeing you up and down. Your tattoos were always something that society didn’t seem to accept, making it quite hard for you to find a job these days, but you would never even think about getting them removed, they were a bigger part of you than your actual self. Your arms were sleeved up, mandalas and dotwork covering your left arm while your right one was filled up with beautiful flowers. Medusa’s head was covering your lower stomach, disappearing in your underwear – where it for sure continues, the snakes winding up around your belly button.

But your favorite piece so far was the ox skull right under your boobs, its horns going up on the sides of your boobs, while a dagger was placed between them. Some smaller tattoos were splattered around your legs, some of them stick and poked by yourself or your brother, but you loved all of them equally. You made your body even more beautiful than it already was by putting your own art onto it.

It was quite a walk to the DEVILISH-nightclub, but once you started to hear music you already knew it wouldn’t be as far anymore. The loud bass was already accelerating your heartbeat, making your stomach jump in both fear and excitement, but you were still more than just nervous. Your feet stopped abruptly; it was your last chance to head back home now. The red and pink sign of the nightclub was so bright that you had to squint your eyes to read it, making sure you were in the right spot. DEVILISH. There it was. Either your future or your death, you couldn’t know by now. Biting your lip in anticipation and agitation, you decided to stay there for a while to watch people enter the club.

Not everyone could get inside, you got to realize that so far. Boys in a sweater and joggers? Nope. Girls without makeup or high heels? Nope. Any other person that looked wealthy and arrogant, maybe even dangerous? Sure, come on in.

That was probably one of your biggest problems: the audience, the clienté. Those people, who will be watching you move your ass on stage. Those people, who probably wouldn’t even think about shooting someone your skin color. It was dangerous, you knew that, but it was also your only chance to stay in Los Angeles. You take one more deep breath, straighten your posture as you walk towards the line, waiting until you were the one in front of the bouncer. He raises an eyebrow at you, waiting for you to explain yourself while checking out your outfit.

“I want to…”, you cough, trying to control your shaky voice. “I want to dance for this club. My friend told me I could just come over to give you a sneak peak of what I’m able of?” The bouncer looked at you in confusion before speaking into his headset, unsure of what to do with the girl in front of him. You tried to resist the urge to bite on your bottom lip, not wanting to, first off: act like you’re weak and second: not wanting to smudge your gloss. His deep voice asks for your ID card, repeating your name, address and date of birth to the other person who probably must check your criminal past. Luckily, you had none that was written down by the police. With one last nod, he opened the curtain for you to walk through, wishing you good luck.

You were overwhelmed by everything that happened right now; your senses couldn’t even react to all the action around you. It didn’t smell like alcohol or sweat like most of the clubs you’ve been into, it actually smelt pretty nice; like a mixture of grapefruit, ginger and even coffee, maybe. Step for step, you dare to walk in further, carefully having an eye on the people that you passed on your way, one prettier than the other. Blonde goddesses, tall businessman, all dressed in Louis or Gucci. You looked down at your own outfit, frowning while doing so. It wasn’t anything expensive, nothing too daring and suddenly, you don’t feel as confident as you did a few minutes ago. You felt cheap, not worthy to dance in front of those people. As if they’d watch you, if they could enjoy a show by the other, prettier, more experienced dancers.

“Are you Y/N?”, a sudden voice tears you out of your thoughts, making you turn around with a quiet shriek. Right in front of you, there’s this woman and you could swear to god, she was the most attractive person you’ve ever seen. She was so tall, you had to tilt your head back to look her in the – bright blue, of course – eyes. She didn’t wear much make up, but she didn’t even need to. Her skin was flawless, her lashes long enough to just be coated by a simple layer of mascara and her lips, god her lips. They were covered in a nude gloss, looking so soft and plumb, you scolded yourself for always chewing on yours, which looked nothing like hers. “Yes, I am, ma’am. Y/N Y/L/N.”

The mysterious woman smiles down at you, offering you her perfectly manicured hand to shake. “I’m Lia, nice to meet you, honey. I got told you wanted to dance for us?” Her smile was still prominent, revealing two rows of beautiful teeth and two cute little dimples. You nod, still more than cowed by her appearance. “Don’t worry, love, our team is nice and loving, the girls will love you!”, Lia cheers while grabbing your hand and walking you to a huge door, typing in some code to open it, motioning for you to walk through it first. Somehow, you couldn’t help but grin at the hectic woman in front of you, nodding quickly while walking through the door with your head raised, making you look more self confident. Suddenly, you didn’t bother your outfit anymore, even though everyone else was dressed differently – it was your style, your dance and most importantly your body.

“You don’t need to be nervous, you won’t dance today, we just all need to get to know you first”, Lia smiles at you sympathetically while guiding you through the long hallway – the clubs music was nowhere to be heard anymore. “Currently, we’ve got 7 wonderful dancers, most of them are American, but we’ve got one beautiful Asian queen and a European goddess, we’d love to have someone like you in our team as well!” You cringed at her comment. ‘Someone like you’, what were you like? Were you different? Was it the tattoos or the color of your skin? “Oh, shit. I didn’t mean it like that!”, Lia cringes as well, trying to make the best out of the situation. “Don’t worry, it’s fine”, you mumble while looking around.

Just as if she was reading your mind, Lia points to another huge door. “There we are, it might be a bit confusing to walk through this long ass hallway, but Mister Dolan just wants us to be save from all those… people. You know, our clienté isn’t always the nicest, you’ve probably heard the story about our club and why it is called DEVILISH. But don’t worry, until now, nothing bad has ever happened, Gra- Mister Dolan just wants to know us in safety if something would happen.” You nod, waiting for Lia to enter the code to open the door, letting her step inside first this time.

“Okay, this is basically where we hang out before our show starts, we get ready in here, we eat in here and after the show, we could shower or take a bath in here as well. Mister Dolan offers each of us a room to sleep in whenever we need to make more customers, whenever we need a place to sleep or when we’re just too tired to head home, maybe having one too many drinks.” Lia smiles at the thought, she’s probably been sleeping here quite often. “He takes good care of us, Y/N, don’t listen to all those bad stories people tell about him. He has had a rough past, losing his brother like that, you know? I’m sorry for him”, she sighs before eyeing your outfit the second time this evening. “I love your skirt! And those shoes, god damned, I wanted to get them too, but I couldn’t figure out where to wear them. Well, by now I would know. Anyways, let’s find at least two of our lovely girls.” Lia starts walking through the different rooms, showing you the bathrooms with those luxurious bathtubs that made you think about the old one back in your apartment that you never used because you were kind of disgusted by how old and rusty it was. Usually, you’d just hop in the shower, scrub your body and jump out again before the cold water was actually hitting you. This seemed… nice.

Soon enough, you were introduced to a small Asian girl, also covered in tattoos, but a different style than yours. Hers were more comic book looking, some Ghibli figures dancing on her skin, some bright colorful ones, not fitting into your black and white scheme. “Oh my god, hi! I’m Yun Hee, but you can go for Yun, it’s easier and easier to remember, I guess. I’m glad we get another tatted bad bitch for our team!”, she hugs you, glitter spreading all over your body while you hesitantly wrap your arms around her as well. “I hope you’re going to make it, Mister Dolan is here tonight”, she whispers the last part into your ear, not looking at Lia, “He’s a sucker for his girls ass and can’t say no to a lap dance, especially when it comes to a girl with a body like yours.” Yun slapped your ass with a cheeky grin, watching as it bounces while you couldn’t hold in a small laughter. “I didn’t know I had to dance in front of him… I thought I’d just dance for you and you girls decide whether I’m in or not…”

Yun nodded with a knowing frown but got back to her cheerful self within seconds. “Anyways, I need to fix my make-up, I’m sure you’ll do fine! I’ll let Lia know to give you my number, tell me how it went then, okay?” Then, she was gone. And you? You were even more insecure, biting your lip in anticipation while looking around to find Lia. Instead, you stepped in front of the many full-length body mirrors, eyeing your outfit once more this evening, not sure if you want to do this anymore. You should’ve asked Yun about the costumers, the loan and Grayson Dolan.

“Y/N, there you are! Mister Dolan would like to see you perform, now. Don’t be nervous, I’m sure he’ll love you! I hope he does, good luck!”, with that, Lia pushes you through another door, leaving you alone in a dark room with dimmed lights, a little platform for you to stand on and a dark blue velour couch. You take in another deep breath, trying to calm down all your anxious thoughts before raising your head, letting your eyes adjust to the darkness.

And then you saw him. Erebus. El diablo. Grayson Dolan himself. Staring at him, you couldn’t move at all, hypnotized by his stunning looks, now understanding why he was named after the devil himself. He looked hot as hell.

“Hello, angel.” His deep chuckle brought you back from your trance, causing your breath to hitch slightly. You finally dared to really look at him, practically sucking in his appearance. His eyes even managed to sparkle in those lights, prominent eyebrows giving him that intimidating look and those, combined with his tight, chiseled jaw just left you like a shy little schoolgirl, dreaming of his attractive teacher. He tilted his head in amusement, raising one of those sharp brows at you. “Did something bite off your tongue? Or are you just so wet by just seeing me that you can’t move without dripping down your long thighs, baby?” Now it was your turn to raise your eyebrow, mocking his amused face while stepping towards him.

“Not the slightest, Mister Dolan. I came to dance for you and that’s what I’m going to do, yet I couldn’t get any preparation time. Is there any chance to change the lights and let me choose a song of my liking?” Your loose tongue causes his fists to clench, but he was somehow impressed, no girl would ever contradict him, especially none of those dancer girls. “Suit yourself, angel.” He crosses his arms while sliding back onto the couch with spread legs, making himself comfortable while taking a deeper look at your dark skin, covered in all those pieces of art. And that outfit, that no other of his girls would ever choose because it wasn’t as slutty, not as cliché. But on you, it looked amazing. You looked like a bad ass bitch – exactly what he was looking for these days. Mentally, he took a note on observing you the next couple weeks, minding something bigger for you already.

Soon enough, the lights turned a dark red, making you almost disappear as you slowly walked onto the platform as “DEVILISH” by Chase Atlantic started to fill the room.

SEVER OFF THE HEAD AND WATCH THE BODY FALL, SEE YOU IN THE DEPTHS, THAT AIN’T A METAPHOR.

SEX, BLOOD, FASHION DRIPPING HOLY WATER. HOLY SHIT, SHE WORSHIPPING MY DICK LIKE IT’S THE HOLY FATER.

As soon as the calming, yet rough voice fills your ears, you couldn’t help but slowly sway to the rhythm of the song you chose wisely – referring to Grayson, to his nightclub and his life. You’ve had lots of dancing experience, even took some pole dance classes, but dancing in front of the devil himself wasn’t something you could ever come prepared for. The beat started to get faster, making you run towards the pole and jump up on it, letting it turn you around multiple times with your head hanging low, bringing you closer to the floor with every rotation. Once your fingertips brushed past it, you let yourself fall until your back was hitting it as well, turning around to crawl onto the floor while opening your legs for him, humping the parquet twice.

TRIPLE THE SIX, I’M BLAMING YOUR GOD ‘CAUSE HE DON’T EXIST, I KEEP THE BEAT, ONLY TALK A FEW WEEKS THEN I CUT OFF YOUR WRISTS.

MEDICATION GOT MY HIGHER THAN HEAVEN BUT BRO I’M THE SHIT, BETTER FIX I SAVED FOR HADES, I’M POPPIN’ THE PILLS WHEN I’M SICK.

You didn’t dare to break the eye contact with the intimidating man in front of you, watching every of his reactions, trying to read his mind – but he was a professional in keeping his poker face up, not showing you any kind of emotion. Biting your lip in anticipation, you continue your dance routine, climbing back onto the pole until you were about to reach the ceiling, when you pushed your feet of the secureness, holding yourself up by just your arms while walking through the air, slowly circling around again. Then, just as the beat intensifies again, you press your back against the turning pole, crossing your feet over it while slowly tracing your silhouette with one of your hands. Your thick braids were flying through the air, your abs clenched, and you were slowly but sure getting out of breath, but you would never give up.

I ONLY EXIST TO FALL, HAPPENS LIKE THE GHOST OF GOD, I JUST WANT TO LET THEM GO. FEELING HOMESICK, FIRE UP THAT BLUNT, BITCH. SHUT UP.

DEVILISH, FUCKING WITH MY GUYS, YUH. I MAKE SACRIFICES, YOU MAKE LIES UP. HEAVEN LOST AN ANGEL WHEN I SIGNED UP, I MIGHT FUCK YOUR FRIEND, I MADE MY MIND UP.

Just as the music hits its peak, you pulled yourself up with your right hand, bringing your legs over your head in a split, spinning the pole even faster than before. Your legs were now above you, your head stretched away from the pole and hands working as wings, as you slow down a bit, winding around it like a snake. Taking a deep breath, knowing the next move must be perfect, you jump back up to the highest point, wrapping your legs around the pole as you let yourself hang from it like a bat, opening your arms while waiting for the next beat drop. Once it comes, you let yourself fall to the floor in a horrific pace, a move you usually just dared to show off when you were drunk. Just as your nose was about to hit the floor, you quickly let go of the pole with a somersault.

Grayson raised an eyebrow, impressed with your performance and shifting in his seat while waiting what’s next to come. You couldn’t hide a smirk while crawling towards him with swinging hips, enjoying the desirable glance he shoots towards you.

I’M DEVILISH, YUH. I’M DEVILISH, YUH. I’M DEVILISH, YUH. I’M DEVILISH, YUH.

Looking up at Grayson with a slightly innocent look, you climb up on his lap, debating whether to touch him or not. This man was out of your league, yet, you had to compel him, to seduce him like you would with any other man that was watching you perform. Without even thinking about it twice, you grab the collar of his dress shirt, playing with it while smiling down at him. You didn’t press your crotch against his – yet -, but you could feel his hips move to the beat as well, eyeing your entire body up and down

It wasn’t part of your choreography, but you bite your lip while placing his huge hands on your hips and pull off your fishnet shirt with them, wrapping it around his neck as if it was a scarf, giving him a view seconds to enjoy the view of your impressive cleavage. Then, you turn around quickly, pressing your back against his toned chest while using his hands again to roam your body, while wriggling around in his lap in a slow pace.

DEVILISH, SAY THE PART YOU LOVE ME, YUH. I DON’T WANNA TALK, JUST SAY THE PART YOU LOVE ME, YUH.

SETTLE DOWN, YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE ME DRIVE THE DEVIL OUT, YOU DON’T WANNA SEE MY DEMONS IN YOUR FUCKING HOUSE, YOU DON’T WANNA FACE DAMAGE IN YOUR MENTAL HOUSE.

Once the slow part was over and the beat dropped again, your let yourself fall right down onto his dick, earning a quiet gasp from Grayson, his hands tightening around your waist as you started to grind down on him, hands buried in his perfect styled hair. Just as his hands were about to travel further down your waist and you feel something starting to grow underneath you, you get out of his lap to dance around him while softly pressing down onto his shoulder. Once you were standing behind him, you let your nose brush against his neck, breathing in his heavy but delicious after shave, knowing that this man had to smell good. Your clothed tits were pressed against his shoulders as you gently bit down onto his earlobe, loving the way he twitched underneath you. Placing your hands on the couch upholstery, you lifted yourself up in a handstand above him, rolling down back onto his lap as the song finally comes to an end.

I TAKE DRUGS ON THE DAILY, I TAKE PITY ON THE PEOPLE WHO TRY TO SAVE ME, GOD DOESN’T EXIST AND EVEN IF HE COULD, OH BITCH YOU WOULD NEVER CATCH ME PRAYING.

Within seconds, you had your shirt back on and were standing in front of Grayson, raising an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to say anything. He, on the other hand, keeps on looking at you, burning you with his stare. Just as you grew impatient, he opened his mouth. “Where have you been all my life, angel?” He stands up, walking right up to you while pressing his warm palm against your cheek, almost stroking you. “Definitely not here, Mister Dolan”, you chuckle as you stepped back once more. “Well, what is your opinion on me, Sir? Will I be able to dance for your clienté?” He hated the fact that you were running away from his touch, but he loved playing games, he loved a challenge.

“Well, Miss Y/L/N”, he chuckled in his intimidating deep voice, “I do think you’d fit in perfectly, but”, he stopped once more, just to build up some tension, “why would I let you dance for me, angel? What would you do to deserve your wings? How important is this job for you? Tell me your story.” He was way too interested in her to just let her go like this, no. He needed to know everything, needed to know if she was the one. The woman he was seeking for, the woman he needed to finish off his plans.

“I’m sorry to tell you, Mister Dolan, but I don’t think my past is important for you to hire me, isn’t it? All you need to know it that I’m available on the daily, I will dance for you, your friends and your… costumers. I don’t mind if it’s one man or twelve, I’d still be up for it if the payment is high enough. I’m not for free, you won’t be able to bring me down, I went through way too much to be ordered around by another gang member, even if it’s the leader this time. So, you could either hire me and make some money with my body – a body like no other of your girls has- or I could pay your sweet brother a visit to see what he thinks of my dancing skills. Because I for sure know what’s going on with you two, Mister Dolan. I’m sick of deciding which gang my family belongs to, you know?”, your walk towards him, showing him that you weren’t afraid of him. The thought of your brother, killed by the rival gang, made you feel powerful.

“I once chose my side, don’t let me regret it.” You lift the left side of your bra a bit up, showing off the devil tarot card that held Jalen’s name hidden on your ribcage, always near your heart. “I’m not an angel, nor am I as innocent as you might think, but I am willing to fight for my survival. I am willing to fight for my family, even though I might have lost an important member of it. So, I wouldn’t wait another second to team up with Ethan’s gang, because I don’t want to starve to death, but my brother was part of the diablo’s , I guessed it would be just the best to follow his footsteps.”

Grayson’s eyes widen in shock before he frowns, pulling you even closer to look at the healed tattoo – you had to have it for quite some time now, not seeing any fresh ink or crust to show some healing process. “How long?”, he mumbles while secretly checking out your other tattoos. You didn’t even have to think about it for a long time, always remembering the night you got the tattoo together with Jalen.

“About three years ago, when my brother got his tattoo, he made me get the same one – I didn’t know what it meant, though. I thought it was like a brother-sister thing to do, get matching tattoos and stuff. But once he…”, you cough to swallow the lump in your throat, trying to find your voice again, “But once he died, I quickly found out what that tattoo meant. He wanted me to be safe if something happens to him. I knew I never had some receptive ritual or something like that, but I already have the tattoo – wouldn’t it be a shame to get it covered by Gabriel?”

“It would be a total shame, princess. You deserve an angel on your skin, but not that one”, he walks around you, acting like he’s inspecting you, as if he hadn’t seen enough of you during your performance. “Who was your brother, darling? Must have been someone I know, otherwise he wouldn’t be that confident of me securing his little sister.” Well, you haven’t thought through that part of you actually telling Grayson who your brother was, not knowing which position he had in the gang or if Grayson even liked him. On the other hand, you really didn’t want to know what your brother did, whether it was a simple drug deal or being the cause of someone’s death. It doesn’t matter, just because of this gang shit, Jalen ended up being the death one.

“Jalen, Sir. Jalen Y/L/N..“, you mumbled while lowering your head, afraid of his reaction. “Jalen? Jalen had a sister?”, Grayson raised his eyebrows once more, balling his hands to tight fists. “I never knew about his family. Okay, listen to me, Y/N. You should’ve been searching for me a long time ago, Jalen didn’t die for no reason, you got me?” You just nodded; eyes wide in shock.

“Jalen was somewhat of my right hand, he helped me do… lots of things, I guess. But they know who he was, probably checked out his family as well, but nobody ever knew he had a sister.” Grayson paces through the room, the red light making him look even angrier than he already was. “Where are your parents?” Biting your lip, you quickly answered. “Gone, they moved away as soon as they found out about his death – but I couldn’t leave the city I grew up in, I’ve got too many memories here. And I want revenge.” Your voice sounded stronger than you felt in this moment, but Grayson looked at you with an impressed glance, nodding in agreement. “That’s what I wanted to hear, angel. Okay, here’s what I could give to you: a place to stay that’s absolutely safe, money or whatever you’ll need to keep living your life and I promise you: you’ll get your revenge. But I need you to do something as well, angel. Are you willing to do something for me in return?”

“Yes, Sir. But you don’t need to do all those things for me, I’d be fine with a somewhat good paid job. I don’t need a new place to live in…”, you suddenly grew nervous again, not knowing what he had up for you. “Really, I don’t want to bother you, Mister Dolan.” “Stop talking, would ya? As Jalens sister, I owe you more than you think. This man saved my life way too many times.” He shakes his head with a chuckle before continuing. “And don’t worry, my house has more than enough rooms, I wouldn’t even know you’re there. Anyways, I think you’d look quite good by my side, don’t you think? So, in return I want you to keep me company whenever I need to do important stuff. I want you to dress up pretty for me, lull my business partners and who knows, maybe you could be the one to finally ruin my brother. I know you’ve got your brothers blood in your veins as well. You’re a fighter, angel. Would you like to fight on my side?”

Grayson steps towards you, placing his hands on your waist as he whispers the last couple words against your lips, leaving you gasp in excitement. “You sure, Sir? I don’t know if I’d look that good by your side, I-“ “Oh angel, you don’t know how you’d look in Louis, in Gucci or even in Balenciaga? All those brands would be glad if you wore them, pretty girl. Where’s that skirt from, Forever 21? You deserve better.” His soothing words left you with goosebumps along your spine, making you shudder under his touch. “It’s actually H&M…”, you whispered, ashamed of your cheap outfit that probably hasn’t even cost half the price of his underwear. His fingertips were currently tracing your jawline while you were still thinking about his offer.

“What do you mean by living in your house, though? I mean… I do have my own apartment, there’s no need of me moving in with you. But I’d totally be fine with escorting you to your business meetings. And I wouldn’t say no to a nice dress. I came to dance, so that’s one thing I’d love to do for your club, Mister Dolan”, you giggled at the thought of something more expensive covering your body, knowing that Grayson wouldn’t be hesitating in buying you all the designers you loved. “I just offered you anything you could dream of, but you still want to dance in front of hungry men? What did I just got myself into”, he chuckled while nodding in agreement. “Fine, you can put on your show on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but on the other days, your body will me mine, angel. And about the living situation: we’ll be discussing that later, for now you can go home and think about everything. Tomorrow, you’ll be having a little shopping spree on your own, okay?” He hands you his credit card while grinning down at you. “Visit La Perla for me, darling. I bet you’d look great in salmon colored silk.” With that, he left you standing alone in that dimmed light, holding nothing but a black credit card in your hands – not knowing what to do with it.

“So, you’re really telling me that he not only offered you a job, but also to live with him in his freaking mansion? And that you denied that?”, Zavi shakes her head at you, blowing nose through her nose in disapproval. The two of you were currently wandering through your local mall, searching for some nice stage outfits. Grayson’s credit card was burning holes through your wallet, but you denied on using it, not wanting to waste any of his money for something you’d earn your own money with. Just as you walked past a small store called La Perla, you smirked while pulling Zavi with you into it. “Y/N! This store is out of our price range, c’mon, even looking at those pieces will make me poor”, Zavi whined as you showed her Grayson’s credit card. “It’s on el diablo. Don’t worry, I guess he won’t even realize that some money is missing. He told me to spoil myself, so why not spoiling my best friend too?” You shrugged while looking through the different lingerie sets, some of them out of complete mesh, others of lace – which you absolutely adored, packing 4 sets into your basket, knowing they’d look stunning on your body. But one pair of silky lingerie caught your eye, salmon colored and absolutely wonderful, you didn’t even dare to touch it. Zavi didn’t even bother to put that one into your basket as well, grinning at you while showing off her teeth. “Make him greedy for you, girl. Try it on, I need to see it!” She shoved you into the dressing room, handing you your basket after putting some more lingerie in there.

You put on one after another set, actually feeling yourself and smiling into the mirror with such a confidence, you couldn’t help but step out to show Zavi your favorite set so far – the one that Grayson suggested. It pushed up your tits to their maximum without looking too fake, but those panties were a different level. They were short, revealing but sitting on your hips like they were meant to be there. You turned around, showing her the fabric that was hidden in between your cheeks, showing the roundness of them perfectly. “Fuck, Y/N you look so hot, you’re driving my pan sexual ass crazy”, Zavi moaned at the view you gave her. Just then, you saw a familiar silhouette passing the dressing rooms, making you chuckle. “Hey stranger, what do you think of it? Or would you like to enjoy a show later on?” You would’ve guessed it was Grayson, following you on your little trip to see if you were about to spend his last coin, but the person that was now standing in front of you definitely wasn’t Grayson. “Oh, that color suits you pretty well. But let me tell you, I bet baby blue suits your skin even better.” You stood there in shock, not being able to speak up while letting your eyes travel the person that looked so similar to Grayson that it couldn’t be a coincidence. “Oh, I’m sorry, what a shame to not introduce myself. I am Ethan”, he holds out his hand for you to shake and as soon as your smaller one touched his, you felt instant rage boiling up your skin. But instead, you smiled.

“Well, hello Ethan. I’m Y/N, always up for help when it comes to finding a new style. Is there anything specific you’d suggest for me?”

You instantly regret going out in your sweatpants and some tank top you found laying on your floor, your face was free of any make up, wishing you had at least put some effort in doing your eyebrows. It was a one time chance to meet Ethan Grant Dolan, talking to him without him knowing who you were. “Oh, for sure, pretty girl. I see, you already chose some lace, that’s always been a secret love of mine, I adore women in lace”, Ethan closes his eyes, imagining you stripping down in front of him, wearing nothing but those see-through lace panties.

“Yeah, I can totally imagine you in that set”, he pointed over to a cute baby blue set with flowery lace detailing. “Oh, Ethan, this is so pretty!”, you smiled at the set, putting it into your basket willingly. On the inside, you were rolling your eyes at him being that easy to compel. Shouldn’t he be crying over his dead wife? This Ethan wasn’t someone you expected him to be.

“Let me buy that for you, Y/N. It’s going to be my treat for you, hoping I’d be the one to see you wearing it one day.” “Oh, Ethan, I can’t accept that, this lingerie is way to expensive to let a stranger pay for me…”, you pouted while Zavi giggled.

“You like being a challenge, huh? I won’t be a stranger to you for long, baby”, he grabbed the lingerie to go and pay for it while you rolled your eyes as soon as he was out of your sight. “Such a fucking dumbass”, you huffed to your best friend. “As if I’d be in to fuck the guy that-“

“Here I am, babe.” Ethan hands you a little bag while smirking at you. “I put my number in there as well, I surely hope you’re giving me a call or at least some pictures to strengthen my opinion on you in lace.” He kisses your cheek before winking at Zavi one last time, disappearing into the crowd of people outside that store.

Later that night, when you finally unpacked all the clothes and make up you bought, you decided on enjoying a nice bath and some Sushi in the tub while listening to music. Sadly, your pampering night got interrupted by the annoying ring tone of your phone, the display showing some unknown number. “Hello?”, you asked while chewing on a big chunk of avocado maki, snorting at the amount of wasabi you put on that piece. “Angel.” Grayson’s soft voice made you almost drop your chopsticks into the water, choking on the Sushi. “Mister Dolan.” You tried to sound professional, but which professional would ever decide on eating maki in their bathtub? “How is my princess? I was hoping to see you tonight, there’s still some things we need to figure out. Are you free?” “I guess I am, Sir. When and where to you want to meet up?” Opening the drain, you stepped out of the tub while grabbing a towel from your heater, wrapping it around your body and looking for your body lotion.

“I don’t mind coming over to your house, would you?” Grayson asked casually, causing you to sigh in relief. “I’d like that, Mister Dolan. Would mean I don’t need to get dressed nicely”, you giggled while walking towards your bedroom, looking through all those beautiful pieces of lingerie you got with his – and Ethan’s - credit card today. “Fine, I’ll be there soon, angel.”

Minutes have passed and you grew more and more nervous, debating whether to wear something nice or casual, whether to wear make up or not. Well, you chose the same pair of sweatpants from before combined with a basic tight black crop top, trying to look at least somewhat sexy. Not knowing what Grayson had on his mind, you just set your brows in place with some brow gel but didn’t waste time on foundation or mascara. Then, your doorbell interrupted your upcoming anxiety attack, leaving you with one more spritz of your perfume before rushing to open the door. And there he was, dressed quite casually, some lose dress pants combined with a simple black hoodie – but he managed to still look stunning. “Good evening, angel”, he grinned at you while shrugging his shoes off. “Can I come in?”

You just nod, still perplexed about how different he looked from yesterday, but you instantly felt so miserable standing next to him in your dirty joggers. “Sure.” Stepping aside, you allow him to come into your cozy little apartment. “Do you want anything to drink? To smoke?” Grayson shakes his head, but you decided to grab a beer just to calm your nerves. “I don’t really have much space to sit, is the couch okay for you, Mister Dolan?”, you bit your lip in discomfort, you’ve never been ashamed about your living situation, but you knew he was used to something much better. “Everything’s fine, angel”, he places his hand on the small of your back while guiding you to your own living room. Once the two of you sat down, Grayson looked at you with such an intimidating look that gave you instant goosebumps.

“So, what I’ve been wanting to talk about was our contract stuff. I know you want to dance for me, but you know that I’ve got different plans for you, right? It wasn’t just a wish of mine to have you move in with me, Y/N. I want you to live by my side from now on, not just as my coworker, more like a… girlfriend. It is hard for me to do all the business meetings alone, to attend anything without someone by my side. The problem is, I can’t trust most people around here. I mean, I could choose any girl from the gang, but… most of them are manlier than I am”, Grayson chuckles while looking at you, “Would you be okay with that? Just keeping me company. You wouldn’t have to dance for all those men, you could be by my side, in my house and live your best life while doing one, two things for me. To be honest, I’ve got plans, most of them maybe not as easy as pole dancing. But I feel like I could trust you – I know that I can trust you, let alone because of Jalen. I owe you something, angel.”

Grayson el diablo Dolan wanted you not to only move in with him, but be some sort of his girlfriend? Shaking your head in shock, you chugged down most of your beer before starring at him in confusion. “Mister Dolan, I don’t understand...” “Grayson”, he interrupted you. “Huh?”, you raised an eyebrow at him, more confused than before. “My name’s Grayson, don’t always call me ‘Mister Dolan’ or ‘el diablo’ that’s kind of weird, you know?” You gulped but shrugged your shoulders.

“Fine, I don’t care what to call you, so Grayson it is. Okay, Grayson. Don’t you think there’s some kind of love needed to ask someone to be their girlfriend? Instead of just asking someone jobwise. I mean, I’m honored, but… I feel like this is so wrong. I’m not an escort or anything like that – and I barely know you. What I know is that you can be really, really dangerous, that you own more money than I could ever dream off and that you could probably pay prettier and more graceful woman to go out with you. I’m not the one to be in the spotlight, Gray”, the nickname slipped off your tongue so easily that you didn’t even bother to correct yourself, “I need to be the girl in the shadows, the mysterious one that dances a few times a week and that’s it. If I was the one by your side, everyone would know me. I’d be everyone’s target.” There it was, the side you didn’t want to show anyone that works – or owns – DEVILISH. Your insecure, anxious self.

But Grayson was fast to react, cupping your face with his large hands, suddenly a soft sparkle in his eyes. “Listen, Y/N. The moment I saw you, I knew that I had to have you. Before you even started to dance, I knew what kind of ride you were – the first girl ever to open her mouth and be not up into my ass like all the others. I’m usually not the type to ask for anything, you should know that. But let me phrase it properly: Will you, Y/N, be my girlfriend? Or will you at least be willing to get to know me better?” He smiled that smile that would melt thousand of hearts in seconds, but you were still frowning, not sure of this situation. “I am willing of getting to know you, Grayson”, you bite your lip while nodding shyly, “But I still want to dance, you know that. I want to get paid the way you pay all your dancers, no benefits, okay? Dancing will be my job, we’ll see about the rest – that will start only in our private time, okay? You can invite me to dinner, I love sushi. Tomorrow, 7PM?” Out of nowhere, you got your confidence back, grinning at the man in front of you. Grayson couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’ve got myself a feisty one, huh? But fine, sushi it is. Wear something nice, though, I may or may not want to take you to another club afterwards”, he winks at you before standing up, looking down at you. “Mind escorting me to the door?” You nod, getting up as well and throwing your braids into a knot, relaxing your neck while doing so. “Oh, by the way. I met the other Dolan twin today. It was quite… interesting, I’d say. He even bought me those”, you giggled while lowering the waist band of your joggers, revealing some of the baby blue lace Ethan bought you earlier that day. “That dumbass even gave me his number, wanting me to send some pics in those.” You rolled your eyes, huffing at the thought of this greasy guy.

Grayson’s eyes widen at your confession, sitting back down on the couch in disbelief. “You met Ethan? And you didn’t tell me earlier? What did he say? What did he do? Does he know who you are? Oh, no, he couldn’t know. Are you going to call him?” “Grayson calm down! He was so weird, acting all flirty and stuff. I mean, I tried to flirt back, but I couldn’t because I kept thinking of Jalen. I still kept his number, though. What do you think?” You sat down next to him, popping your legs on the couch table while looking at the bill that kept Ethan’s number on it. Grayson scratched his beard, thinking about all those possibilities to ruin his brother.

“Tease him, send him pictures, try to get in his pants, I guess. But that would mean you couldn’t be the girl by my side… Mh. Fuck, Y/N that’s one of the best chances I’ve ever got. Okay, wait. Let’s do it like that: we’re still going out, doing all that official business stuff but you keep on hitting on Ethan, trying to convince him that you hate me with all your guts but you’re still with me because of my money, how’s that?”

You scrunched your nose at his idea, shaking your head no. “I’m not the type of girl to do that, Gray. It would be too obvious to be with both of you, don’t you think? I mean, Ethan doesn’t seem that dumb. But, I may or may not have a friend that he flirted to as well. I think she’d be up for it. She loves a challenge – and a good dick to ride on. How’s that? I just slip Zavi Ethan’s number, telling her to send some lingerie pics to him, trying to drive him crazy. And once he’s far up her ass, we’re destroying him and his business.” You raised an eyebrow, giving Grayson an asking look while typing Ethan’s number into your phone, sending Zavi the contact.

“Girl, I love you, I can officially say that. You’re a genius! But I got to say”, he eyes you from head to toe, smirking while doing so, “I think I’d still prefer salmon colored lace or silk on your body. Was your shopping day successful, angel?” You nod with a wide smile, thinking about all those luxurious lingerie sets that were ready to wear in your closet. “Yeah, it was wonderful. I was quite surprised though, I look fine as hell in salmon.” Grayson groaned quietly, nodding his head. “I bet you do, angel. I bet you do. I can’t wait to see it, mind to give me a show? I mean, I paid for it”, he winked at you, making you pout. “But I wanted to wear them for my first dance.”

“Dance for me, then.” Grayson kept his eyes on you, a soft smirk still plastered onto his beautiful lips while you stand up, basically running into your room to change into a nicer outfit. If Grayson wanted a show, he’s totally going to get one. Stripping out of your nasty clothes, you quickly slipped into your new lingerie set after removing the tags on them, turning around in front of your mirror with a proud smile on your lips. Salmon truly looked amazing on you, Grayson was right. You didn’t have a pole montaged into your living room, so you need to improvise in that, probably going for a lap dance or a striptease. One of your new favorite pieces you just bought today was a skin-tight dress made from black faux leather, hugging and stretching around your curves. It had so much cleavage, that you were unsure if your boobs were about to fall out during your dance, but they’d see them anyways – who cares? The back was something different, though. It was held by many straps, covered in rivets, giving it some sort of grunge vibe. To that, you’d usually wear some of your combat boots or over knees, but since you were at home anyways, you went barefoot.

Once you came back into the living room, you saw Grayson on his phone, probably checking up with his gang mates or whatever an important gang leader must do in his free time. Little did you know was that he already booked your dinner at this really fancy sushi place. You walk up to him, coughing quietly. “What’s your favorite song, Gray? What would you like to see me dance to?” You ask while standing in between his legs, caressing his thighs with your thumbs. Grayson lays his head back to take your appearance in, sighing at the view of your hips in that tight ass dress. “Fuck, angel”, he moans while gripping onto your love handles. “You could dance to anything and nothing, I wouldn’t mind at all. Look at you, girl.” He pulls you down onto his lap, smoothing out your braids over your back. “The worst thing is, I kind of know what’s underneath, but I haven’t seen it. So, what about me just ripping off that beautiful dress?”

You shake your head in amusement, standing up again before connecting your phone to the Bluetooth speaker, choosing ‘American Money’ by BØRNS. As soon as the soft bass starts, you sway your hips in front of Grayson, but he just shakes his head, pulling you back onto his lap while holding your chin between his fingers. “I can’t watch you just dance for now, babygirl”, his nose traces your jawline, inhaling your flowery scent with another groan while his hands explore your body. “I need to see you, need to taste you”, he mutters with closed eyes – leaving you almost paralyzed. His fingertips were melting into you skin, while his body was practically molding against yours, leaving no free space for anything. Opening his eyes again, Grayson traces the thin straps of your dress, biting his lip. “This makes you look so naughty, angel. Doesn’t it?” You nod, seeking for more than just his fingertips on your body, aching for his rough touch. “Grayson, please”, you mewl, rolling your lips between your teeth and looking down at him. “Please what, baby? Please, stop?” He grins, waiting for your answer. “No! Please, continue. Please, touch me. Please, remove this fucking dress”, you squirm around in his lap, searching for at least some friction.

“But, Y/N, I thought I came just to talk?”, he removes his hand from your collarbones, smiling innocently at you. Your blood was boiling, not wanting to waste any chance of getting Grayson into your bed. “Yeah, you did, but now I want you to fuck me, Mister Dolan.” Grayson loved the way his name rolled off your tongue, but he loved the sparkle you had in your eyes even more. “What was that, doll?” He needed to hear it once more, needed to hear her begging for more. “I want you to touch me, Gray.” Raising an eyebrow, Grayson gently rubs her back, her hair and her shoulders. “Like this?” You shake your head, whining in impatience. “No, you idiot. I want your hands here”, you place his large hands over your tits, helping him to squeeze them while grinding down on his slowly hardening dick, “while I need your tongue down there.”

His hands were fast to move to the bottom of her dress, rolling it up and revealing the fantastic set of lace that she bought just for him. Grayson breathed out through his opened lips, not believing what he was seeing. “Fuck, I fucking told you”, he emphasizes while quickly laying you down onto the couch, hovering over you with lust filled eyes. His fingers move to the already damp fabric, slowly tracing those flowers out of lace. Squirming, you were the one to remove your dress completely, enjoying his stare with a wide grin. “Look at what you bought, Mister Dolan. Don’t I look pretty for you?” “You look amazing, babygirl. You look like the queen you deserve to be”, Grayson breathes out as he picked you up, your legs tightly wrapped around his waist. “Where’s your bedroom?”

Just as you were about to tell him, Grayson’s phone began to ring, causing him to set you back onto the floor, picking up his phone with a groan. “What?”, he snaps, pinching the bridge of his nose, shooting you a sorry smile which you just shrugged off as you took another sip of your beer to calm your nerves down. You were really about to go there, even though you know nothing about this man besides that he’s fucking dangerous. On the other hand, he could give you anything you wanted, he could make your life hundred times better than it was by now. He had the opportunities – you didn’t. And by now, he was nothing but nice to you, as if he really wanted you by his side. “Taehyung, I already told you not to go that far all by yourself! I swear to god, if you get hurt, I’ll fucking shoot you!” Grayson’s loud voice dragged you out of your thoughts, making you look into his direction in confusion. He quickly mouthed a ‘sorry’ combined with an apologetic grin before continuing to talk. “Just take care, man. Alright, good luck, I’ll be there soon.”

You laughed as soon as Grayson had shoved his phone back into his pockets. “Don’t your own men listen to you, Mister Dolan? Where’s the authority?” Grayson laughed along with you. “Taehyung isn’t one of my… men. He’s most likely my best friend that wants to save my ass more often than I could save his. Speaking of, I need to head over to him before he ends up in the hospital once more.” He presses one soft kiss onto your blushing cheeks before walking towards the door. “I’m sure you’d like him too, but I need you to get to like me first! Tomorrow, 7 PM!”, he shouts before leaving into the dark night, doing whatever he needed to do.

Once your clock hit 6 PM, your nerves started to go wild again. You were pacing around your flat, trying to clean up even though you just spent an entire day cleaning just to calm down. Of course, you were already dressed and did your make up, but you’ve been changing your dress at least 5 times, drew your eyebrows on twice and couldn’t decide for the perfect lip gloss for another solid 15 minutes. Grayson stressed you out, even though your “date” hasn’t even started yet. You spent the entire night thinking about what he had said to you, about the girlfriend thing and living with him, but you were still unsure. He has been nice to you two times, but you didn’t know him, didn’t know what he does in his “job” and you didn’t know if he would be loyal or if all of this would be just for the outer world. All you knew about him was that he was fucking powerful – and that scared you.

At 6.54 PM, Grayson texted you to come outside, so you quickly applied one more layer of lip gloss before slipping into your heels and heading out. Gasping, you couldn’t help but adore the car he was standing in front of: a dark grey Corvette Z06, one of your most favorite cars in the entire world. “Fuck, Grayson”, you basically moaned, walking towards the car, touching it with sparkling eyes. “Hello to you too, angel”, Grayson laughed before pulling you into his arms softly, pressing a kiss to both your cheeks. “I see you like my car for the night?” You not quickly, smiling at him. “Can I drive?” Grayson’s chest moved against your head as he chuckled, looking at you in amusement. “Not tonight, this is one of my favorite cars, I wouldn’t even trust Tae to drive it. C’mon get in!” He guided you to the passenger’s side, opening the door for you and watched you get in before closing it, running over to his side. Once he started the motor, you couldn’t contain your envy. “I will be your girlfriend if I can drive this car. The interior is even better, this car is pure sex.” “Keep on talking angel and we won’t make it to the restaurant”, Grayson glanced at you while maneuvering the car through the traffic, soft beats coming out of the speakers while Los Angeles’ skyline passed your windows.

“It is so beautiful at night, yet so dangerous”, you mutter with a sad expression on your face, thinking about the night you heard about Jalen’s death. “It is, but who am I to judge?”, Grayson answers, leaving the car in silence again. He was right, you thought. If his and his brother wouldn’t be in those gangs, your brother would probably still be alive. Grayson breaks the comfortable silence shortly after, announcing that you arrived at the sushi place.

“Urasawa? Grayson, this is literally the most expensive place. Believe me, I’m fine with ‘Roll Roll Roll’, really. No need to spent hundreds of dollars for some raw fish…”, you mumbled as you gawked at the luxurious restaurant, but Grayson ignored you, opening your door and holding out his arm for you to hold on to. Sighing, you stepped out of the comfortable car, grabbing Grayson’s muscular biceps as you walked in together. One of the waitresses came up to you, showing you your booth as soon as Grayson mentioned his name, leaving you two in the most private area after taking your orders.

“So, Y/N, why don’t you tell me something about yourself? Did you go to university?”, Grayson asked as he took a sip of his water. You played with the water droplets that were running down your own glass, shaking your head. “No. I was about to go to university, but then Jalen died, I needed to help my parents pay for his funeral. Then, I fell in some kind of black hole, couldn’t handle my own feelings and decided to take some time off. Well, I never applied after that, working here and there to pay my rent. College wasn’t a topic for me ever since. By now, I’m too old to attempt, I guess. Did you?” Not wanting to talk about you all night, you decided to ask him some questions too, wanting to know everything about him and his life. Grayson nodded.

“I did, but only two years, never finished because… well, the gang happened. Ethan and I were both going to UCLA, I studied law and forensic studies, while Ethan went for art and humanities – even though our dad wanted us to study architecture. But then, things got weird and difficult with us, so we stopped and went our own ways, you probably know the story”, Grayson shrugged as the waitress brought your food. You smiled at her as she placed the plate in front of you, Grayson didn’t even look at her. Once she was gone, you tried to get him talking more. “What happened between Ethan and you? I know what the street says, but I want your story.” “You should eat, Y/N. We can talk about this another time.”

The rest of the dinner went on with some small talk, but you learned quite some things about Grayson. He loved wasabi, even ate it without pieces of sushi. He didn’t do drugs, even though he was one of the biggest drug lords out there – he hated people that bought from him, but he makes his money with him, so who would he be to decline that? His mother and his sister are still in contact with Ethan, but not him. His dad passed away because of cancer, which caused him to donate around a million Dollars to a children’s hospice. You frowned, feeling bad for him and his loss, but also admiring him for his strength to still lead that empire on his own – starting to hate Ethan more and more. “Don’t worry, I’m fine by now. Learned to hold my head higher than they do. I don’t get called el diablo for nothing”, Grayson winked at you while eating his last piece of sushi, making you giggle, but also smile in admiration. “What is your favorite childhood memory?” You asked while continuing to eat, curious if he’d tell you something about his past. Grayson remained quiet, obviously thinking about it before answering. “Probably something with my dad. Whenever Ethan was sick, dad and I would go out and do things on our own. It was fun, almost like I was an only child, not having to share experiences with my twin, you know? Full attention on me. Not having to share dad or mom, something like that”, he shrugs. Nodding, you finished your sushi as well, laying back in your chair to relax your stomach. “I’m so full”, you groaned with an exhausted laugh, Grayson joining in. “You ate more than I expected, not that it’s a bad thing. Usually the girl I take on business meetings with me just eat some appetizers. I must’ve looked like Son Goku next to them, eating all the time.” Smiling, the two of you kept having a comfortable conversation, getting to know each other better and better, leaving you with the thought that Grayson wasn’t a monster at all.

Days have passed, conversations were shared, and memories already made. By now, you knew that Grayson wasn’t the tough man he pretends to be, you found his soft spot, even though you’ve been now living with him for little less than a month. You decided the day after your date night, that Grayson was right: you two were meant to be. All your worries were for nothing, Grayson cared about you as much as you learned to care about him. Including staying up the entire night whenever he didn’t come home, cleaning his wounds whenever he got into a fight and helping him with any paperwork that was bothering him. A smile stole its way onto your lips as you thought about your argument during your second week of living with him.

You just got into the car with Grayson, glitter covering your body, barefoot and an exhausted look on your face. “You tired, angel?”, Grayson hold your hand while driving, caressing it with his thumb. “Mh, yeah”, you yawn, head pressed against the window, about to close your eyes. He looked over at you, smiling, while he realized something on your exposed neck. His grip got tighter; eyebrows furrowed. “What’s that on your neck?” “Hmm?” “Is that a hickey, Y/N?” Turning your head in confusion, you rolled your eyes at him. “Probably something you did last night, babe.” Grayson shook his head. “I didn’t, this time. What happened during that privat dance? I told you not to make out with any of your costumers!” You shot him a glance that could kill – if Grayson wasn’t already used to your stubborn head. “Thank you for calling them ‘costumers’ as if I was some slut fucking for payment. I dance, Grayson. I don’t even strip that often, remember? You should, because you’re always there when I’m on stage. That private dance was just me on the pole, I didn’t even give him a lap dance, I don’t know what you’re seeing, but it definitely isn’t a hickey.” Rolling your eyes, you laid your head back again, huffing at his assumptions. Soon enough, Grayson’s finger was tracing your neck, touching the ‘hickey’ – and realizing that it stuck to his fingers. “Ew”, he said, looking at his index finger, causing you to break out in a massive laughter. “That, my dear, is lipstick. My own lipstick, to be exact.”

That night, Grayson ended up showing you who you really belong to – him, no one else.

That night, you stopped dancing for clienté, leaving Grayson to be the only one to enjoy your hips swinging to slow music.

That night, you fell in love with Grayson, because you realized he actually cared for you.

Smiling, you looked down at your intertwined fingers, gently squeezing Grayson’s hand as the two of you walked towards the empty beach, large cones with ice cream in your hands. “I’m glad this part of town is mine, I wouldn’t know what to do without Marco’s ice cream”, Grayson confesses while happily licking at his lemon ice cream. You nod, stuffing your face with the mixture of hazelnut and melon you chose, leaving Grayson cringing. “I don’t get your taste.” “I can never eat just milk ice cream, but just fruity ice cream is boring either. So, the only logical thing to do is just pick one of each”, you shrug as you bite into your cone. “Never liked that though”, you hand him the waffle as soon as every drop of ice cream was in your mouth. Grayson takes it, basically eating it in one piece, speaking as he was still chewing. “How can someone not like the waffle?” You shrugged, nudging his side and you started to run down the street, enjoying the wind in your hair, laughing as Grayson started to sprint towards you, trying to run faster than him. “I don’t need a girl that’s fitter than I am, Y/N!”, he laughs as he finally catches you, pulling you closer to him and pressing a soft peck onto your nose. Then, he wraps one of his arms around you, hugging you from the side while walking towards the soft breeze of Venice Beach. “Haven’t been here since… you know”, you whispered as you slowed down, terrified and anxious about your feelings. Were you ready to get confronted with that? “It took me a while to come back too. But I want to show you something. Jalen once told me how he imagined some nice guy taking you here, walking with you on the beach, enjoying the comfortable silence. Are you okay with me being that nice guy tonight? Fuck it, not just tonight. Always.”

Your eyes widened in surprise, allowing you to just nod. “Just… don’t leave me there, be by my side, okay? I don’t think I could handle it all by myself.” Grayson’s eyes got soft immediately, his fingers playing with the braids that fell over your shoulder. “You’ll never be alone again, Y/N. I promise you that.” Then, he guided you towards the water, lacing your fingers with his and pulling you closer to his side. Soft rustling noises were heard from the ocean, even some seagulls were still flying around, chirping above your heads. “Should we sit down here?”, Grayson quietly interrupts your thoughts, pointing to a clean spot in the sand. Once you nodded, he pulled you in between his legs, sitting down with you against his chest. “I’ve never done that with a girl, romantic stuff.” “Really? Not even in high school?” “No. It is difficult to date when your brother is always the one who gets the girls. I was always their second choice whenever Ethan didn’t want them. So, I preferred staying single instead of being just the Ethan lookalike. But let’s not talk about that, let’s make it to a moment you will ever remember and a night that you will never forget.”

And well, you did.

Grayson pulled you towards the water, the two of you only in underwear, deciding to go for a midnight swim. “Gray, please tell me nobody will see us”, you asked in worry, but Grayson just shook his head. “I promise you, baby. No one comes ever to this part of the beach, it’s el diablo territory – and I told my guys that we would be here tonight. But if you don’t want to…” “No! I want it, but… not in my underwear”, you grinned at him while slowly unclasping your bra, letting it fall onto the ground where all your other clothes were neatly folded, your slip soon following. “C’mon, baby.” You ran into the cold water, yelping at the feeling, but laughing as soon as you realized you were back in your element, letting yourself fall under the surface. Grayson laughed, enjoying your carefree side – and the view – before he stepped out of his boxers and ran towards you, embracing your naked body with his own, warming you up and engulfing you in comfort. Your skin was glistering from all those water droplets reflecting the moonlight, you were stunning, like Selene herself. Grayson’s personal goddess of the moon, of the night – and of his life.

Grayson on the other hand looked like a mixture of Hades and Nyx – if she was a man -, fitting perfectly into the night, shining under the starry sky. His broad shoulders broke the soft waves on the water surface, his strong arms holding you up against him. “You’re so beautiful, angel”, he whispered as he admired your simple beauty. You smiled at him, tracing his tattoos with your fingertips. “You’re a piece of art. I love every single one of your tattoos”, you hum. “I… love you.” There you said it, looking at Grayson with wide eyes, just like a shy deer, scared of his reaction. Grayson’s face softens immediately, mouth hanging open before it cracks into a smile, pressing soft little kisses around your mouth. “I love you too, angel. I never thought I’d say that, but I love you. I love you. I love you.” His hands were everywhere, showing how much he loved every part of you, starting from your face down to your neck, your arms, your fingertips, going back up again to caress the curves of your breasts, your hips and your butt before he grabs your legs to wrap around his waist.

You didn’t even break eye contact once, not as he touched your nipples, nor as he slowly enters you. Both of your lips were parted, chests pressed against each other’s as you moved gently against Grayson, soft hums leaving both of your mouths as the water around you started to move with your actions. “Grayson”, you whimper as he buried his face into the crook of your neck, his teeth teasing the sensitive skin. “I’m here, baby.” His soft thrusts grew unsteadied, whimpers turning into moans as Grayson hits the right spot each time. Again, you couldn’t believe that this tough, almost criminal man was so soft when it comes to you. You tilt your head back, looking up to the stars and start to ask yourself how you out of all people deserved to get this man. “I love you, Gray”, you moaned out as you clenched around him, your orgasm coming in stronger than the waves around you. “Fuck, angel, I love you.” With that, Grayson came too but remained inside you while you shared this intimate moment, soft kisses and many whispered promises, before you eventually went in for another round.

#BLOOD // WATER #dxlansfxck #grayson dolan #grayson dolan fanfiction #grayson dolan smut #ethan dolan #ethan dolan fanfic #dolan twins #dolan twins fanfiction #dolan twins smut #grayson dolan imagine

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kaiasullivan · 5 years

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happy tuesday my beautiful angels🌙 this week i’m gonna shoutout a few of my favourite profiles that i think you should definitely take a look at:

@wordsonearth

@rockstardolan

@dolandolll

@aphroditedolan

@graydobrik

@deluxedolans

@dolanshellyes

@dxlansfxck

@persistence-ofmemories

i love you all and your work is truely amazing. please, if you see this then go and give these accounts a follow. you won’t regret it🖤

#happy tuesday #spread love

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dxlansfxck · 5 years

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EVERY WOUND WILL SHAPE ME [G.D] • 01

Summary: The higher I’ll get, the lower I’ll sink, I can’t drown my demons they know how to swim. // When the demons in your mind get out of control, deciding over your life and everything you do. Over luck and happiness - both long gone - but also over sadness, anger and frustration. When exact those demons try to ruin your life and no escape is in further sight. When your best friend turn into your worst enemy. Then, you’ll realize how small hope can be.

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING! [contains explict content, like depression, self harm and maybe even anorexic behavior. please, please don’t read if you’re not comfortable with that! try out one of my other fics, then], also some smut, hehe.

Chapter 01 • The anxiety I feel overwhelms me

Red meets black and white. Over and over again. Drop for drop. A small puddle of blood is slowly forming on the tiled floor. The strongly lighted room is starting to move while her body gets colder each second that passes. Then, it went black.

The fear, the fear of falling apart.

She is currently sitting on the floor, her back pressed against the cold surface of their modern bathtub, head placed on her boney knees while she is trying to regulate her breathing. Slowly, she tries to raise her head, pushing the way too long strand of hair out of her sweaty face. Then, she dares to look at the most destroyed part of her body – she shouldn’t be shocked about the way her legs looked by now, covered in scars and fresher cuts, but sometimes she is. Sometimes, it feels like another person was hurting her, anyone but herself.

It was already one of her easiest routines to clean up after what she just did, grabbing an old towel that nobody else used anymore, dipping it into lukewarm water to wipe her leg clean from all the blood, wrapping a fresh bandage around the fresh cuts before she gets dressed again. Then, she starts wiping the floor, cleaning off whatever was left on it and stands up, smiling into the mirror. Look how good I can fake it.

She walks right into the living room, where one of her two best friends was sitting on his laptop, probably scrolling through his social media or doing some of his weekly online shopping. Licking her lips, she tried to hide her shaky voice before speaking up. “Gray? You can go take your shower now, I’m done.”

Grey smoke was dancing through the air as she was sitting on one of the stylish – and fucking expensive – deck chairs on their patio, watching her blunt being the reason for this piece of art in the air. Smoke was more than the waste of a cigarette or a blunt for her, it was so beautiful and fine, could be destroyed by the smallest breathe of air and would never last longer than a couple seconds. She was inhaling once more, her fingers were shaking as she was holding her blunt, and as soon as she breathed out another cloud of smoke, the previous one was gone, and Y/N would never see it again.

She lets out a deep sigh, feeling like the now gone cloud, blurry and ready to dissolve. Scratching her fully clothed thigh without even realizing it, she gets lost in her thoughts once more. The weed was blurring her mind, loosening up her brain while her thoughts got louder and louder, comparing her to any other girl she’s ever met, any other girl her best friends, Ethan and Grayson, have ever met. Hell, they were some of the most famous teens right now, their youTube channel exploding while Y/N was in their house, living with them and being their best friend – but left out of anything that relates to their fame.

Of course, Gray and E were the most handsome men she’s ever met, but she’s seen them pre puberty, knowing how they looked like before their success – and how no girl ever wanted to go out with them. They were always the infamous trio, there was nobody that could be part of their clique because no one was like them. It’s always been the three of them. It still is, but things have changed. Things will ever change. The saddest part is, the twins have changed. But Y/N, she was still the same girl – with different feelings.

As soon as the last bits of the addicting drug were filling her lungs up to the top, she tries holding her breath as long as possible before slowly blowing out one last cloud, letting her fingertips swirl up the grey strings before throwing the end into the overflowing ash tray. She was going to empty it. But not now. Maybe tomorrow.

Yawning, she stretches her aching body that gets number with every second before standing up and slowly making her way back into the house. Grayson and Ethan had no clue about her problems; not that drugs, alcohol and cigarettes should be considered a problem, because both of them knew and took them as well. They were the ones that got her hooked up on weed, having to calm their own social anxiety with it before going out to public meetings.

No, they didn’t know about her feelings. About the way her brain worked by now, about anything that went through her mind every second of the day. And they didn’t know anything about her wounds.

Ever since they moved out to Los Angeles, she had more than enough space for herself, her bedroom was just filled with her necessities: a huge bed, the newest TV that Ethan got her for her birthday – including the fitting sound system. A desk and her wardrobe, that was all she needed in there. The only pop of color was a painting on the wall, that Grayson got her when they went to some art exhibition, it was a red lake in the middle of nowhere. It fitted.

Y/N wasn’t taking her “mental illness”, as most people would call it, too serious. Sure, she felt horrible. Of course, she was cutting her legs open on a daily basis – but wasn’t it funny that neither of her “best friends” knew about that? That they didn’t realize any of her daily breakdowns? It was humorous to her, almost feeling like Hannah Montana, living a secret life.

A few rooms further, it was probably in the kitchen, a loud crash was heard, followed by an annoyed scream. Groaning, she made her way into the kitchen, feeling the urge to check if Grayson was actually hurt or if he was just being clumsy again. Arrived at the scene of the accident, the first thing she realized was Grayson sitting on the floor, surrounded by broken glass and remains of muesli which was supposed to be inside the glass.

“Y/N! Surely you are an angel and want to help me clean up, right?”, is the first thing Grayson says while smiling up at her with a frown. Shrugging, Y/N kneels right next to him, trying to get rid of the largest pieces of glass without getting anyone hurt. She smiled sadly, feeling that the broken glass symbolized her life more than perfectly. It was him that let the glass fall, it was him that shattered her heart. And it was him, only him, who could fix it.

“… brush up. Yo, Y/N! Do you even listen to what I’m saying? Fuck, what are you doing? Be careful!”, his calming voice makes her jump the slightest bit, letting her directly fall into one of the glass pieces which directly digs into her palm. Grayson takes her hand carefully into his own, holding it close to his face to take a look at it, examining it before slowly pulling the glass out. “Thanks, Gray, but I’m sure I could’ve done this by myself”, Y/N tries to pull her hand out of his much larger one, but Grayson keeps on holding it. His gaze wanders from her hand to her face, her full lips that have several bite marks on them, her freckled nose, her eyes. And then, his eyes met her soul.

It feels like thousands of seconds, but Grayson kept his eyes on her. Y/N’s brain on the other hand was messed up, feeling like a hurricane, completely out of control. She tries to look away, but the only thing that she could concentrate on was the little freckle on Grayson’s face. Biting her lips once more, she looks further down, letting her eyes rest on his tattooed thighs. My body is a journal, my tattoos are my story.

Out of instinct, she checks her arm, seeing the same angel tattoo that he has on his leg. They went to get it together, back when nothing was standing between them. Back when life was good.

Then, Y/N looks back up at him with watery eyes – Grayson did it again, brought her out of concept. Suddenly, she feels another stinging pain, the sound of more glass breaking and the well known feeling of blood running out of the wound. She can’t hide a giggle, making Grayson raise an eyebrow in confusion. “We need to disinfect the wound and clean it. Put a bandage around it. No, wait, we’re going directly to the doctor, I don’t want it to get infected. Imagine, you could die from a blood poisoning because of that! I bet there are lots of people that died because of something like a cut. C’mon, get dressed, I’m going to grab my keys!“, Grayson speaks in rage while Y/N just sits there and watches him, not caring about her cut at all. “Calm down, Gray. It’s just a small cut, nobody would die from that, believe me”, otherwise I’d be dead for a long time by now. The tensed face of her best friends relaxes slowly, almost in slow motion. Slow motion could be funny, for example while destroying a watermelon. But this kind of slow motion was making her heart skip yet another beat. “Are you sure, Y/N? Aren’t you feeling any pain?” Pain? Because of that? Cutie, I’ve got more scars than friends. One more or less doesn’t make a difference. Resigned, she just shakes her head while trying to give him a soft smile and mumbles “No, I’m fine, really” while throwing the left over glass into the trash bag. The bleeding already stopped, but she goes to the bathroom anyways, cleaning it before letting Grayson wrap it up in a bandage. “Something like that only happens to you, girl. Promise me you’re telling me once it hurts again, alright?”, the strong bathroom light made his eyes look more green than they usually do, but Y/N tries to not get lost in them once again. “Sure, bro. Don’t make an act about it, I’ll be fine. Did you smoke one too much or why are you on the ‘let’s take care of Y/N’ ride again?”, the amusement in her voice was rough, just like the bittersweet pain that fills her body once more. She wanted to test his reaction, wanted to make him aggressive. It was one of her favorite things to do: Let’s see how long you can get on Grayson’s nerve before he turns into an angry supersaiyan.

Grayson just stands up, hovering over Y/N while looking down at her. His jaw clenches while his eyebrows narrowed once more this day. “Smoked one too much? Who of us is the one that smokes on a daily? Listen, it’s not that I’m too innocent when it comes to weed, but you’re the one that smokes more than usual as soon as some stuff is in the house”, his eyes sparkled in anger while his entire body tensed, making him look more giant than he already was, muscles popping out of his veiny arms. But Y/N wouldn’t be her if she wasn’t impressed at all. It was what she was expecting, so she just shrugs her shoulders while smiling at him provocative. “Thanks for your time, doctor. I hope I won’t be a problem to you in the future, but I would love to have some time for myself in my room now”, with those words, she turns away before going straight into her play-room. Nothing ‘Shades of Grey’ like, it was really a gaming room, filled with any gaming console you could imagine.

Throwing herself onto the soft couch, she starts one of her favorite games to get rid of her anger, shooting some soldiers but getting even angrier in the process. Grayson made her fuming, even though she was the one to see him frustrated. She rummages in her “secret” drawer, pulling out whatever she was in the mood for now: even more weed. She made sure she’d always be stacked up without Grayson or Ethan knowing about it. This little treasure was meant for emergencies, just like this was one. She needed it to kill any remaining feelings. The purest cannabis in LA.

It was around midnight when the tiredness – and weed – were winning over her body, making her turn off the console she was currently playing on before walking into her bedroom to fall onto the soft mattress. She grabs the blanket, wrapping it around her before closing her eyes, making her way into her own world: where she was deciding what would happen and nobody – except for her own demons – would destroy her dreams.

Warm hands were roaming her body, not as carefully as she’d expect, no. Those were huge hands, rough and they knew what they wanted. Her eyes were opened, but she couldn’t see anything besides darkness. The hands made her way around her cheek, her neck and her stomach while her chest was rising heavily. It doesn’t matter how worked up she was right now, she needed to know who was touching her. But when she wanted to use her voice, she couldn’t bring out any words. Winding under the touch, that was now on her lower region, she tried to escape. Once the hands were trying to get into her pants, she started kicking her legs, a panic attack rising in her mind and her breathing got even faster. She wanted to scream, but she couldn’t, her voice was gone.

“The world is ugly, but you’re beautiful to me.”

Surprised, she holds her breath, tensing every muscle in her body. Just as she wanted to talk, the well known voice spoke up again.

“Right now I feel invisible to you, like I’m not real.”

The stranger’s face came closer and closer and Y/N was able to taste his breath on her lips, tasting like cigarettes and whiskey.

“There’s a voice in my head says I’m better off dead.”

Her mouth was still sealed, no sound coming out of her lips and her heart was racing so fast, she felt like having a heart attack anytime soon.

“And when you go, don’t return to me my love.”

Rough, dry lips were meeting hers, the only body parts of them that were actually touching right now. She didn’t see anything, didn’t feel anything and now she wasn’t even hearing anything. All her senses were concentrated on his lips. The taste of his lips. The bourbon he must have been drinking, the menthol cigarettes he must have been smoking. She didn’t kiss him back, didn’t push him away. She just laid there, hoping that this nightmare would be over soon enough. Not knowing what she was supposed to feel, her heart seemed to break over and over again, making her chest feel tighter than ever. A billion tears were burning in her eyes, but none of them made their way out. His lips weren’t moving anymore, they were just laying on top of hers, sofly, calming, gentle. The two hands were back again, opening something behind her head, allowing her to see again. But as soon as she saw who was really kneeling in front of her, she was able to open her mouth. But instead of talking to the person in front of her, she let out one of the loudest screams in her life.

In front of her was Grayson, but it wasn’t him at the same time. Almost as if a different version of him was here, almost dead. His wrists were cut open, bleeding onto the white bedsheets. Empty eyes and a weak smile on his face. “I can’t love you when I’m dead.”

Once she opened her eyes again, she was still in her bed. Without the blood, without a dead Grayson. She just lays there, starring against the wall.

Didn’t realize how the door opens slowly.

Didn’t realize how the bed dips in as someone sits down next to her.

Didn’t realize how the same rough hand caresses her shoulder and engulfs her in a tight hug, trying to keep her save.

Didn’t realize how she gets lost in her dreams again.

11:27 AM. Sun. Dry throat. Heavy body. Sleeping man inside her bed. Everything was the same as usual, besides the sleeping man in her bed. Her head was buried inside his arms while she was checking out the tattoos that were covering the light skin. The tattoos that wandered up his arm to his neck, leaving her gaze on the soft face covered in slight scruff. Closed eyes. Messy hair. Closed eyes. Welcoming lips. Opened eyes.

Scared, she jumps back while pulling the blanket up to her nose, looking at him like a shy deer. His lips turn into a loving smile. “Good morning”, his raspy voice was pure beauty in her eyes, making her grimace as she heard her own, croaking one. “Morning.” She wanted to run. Wanted to get distance between their cuddling bodies. She disliked cuddling, disliked any kind of body contact. Turning around, she tried to get out of her bed, but she was still just in her sleeping shirt and panties, revealing her bandaged legs – which she would never show Grayson. So she kept laying there, looking at her best friend. “What was wrong last night?” He sounded worried, almost scared.

The thing is, Grayson Bailey Dolan wasn’t as bad of a person as it might seem, no. He was the one. Literally. In every aspect. The most loving one, the kindest, the funniest. And the one that Y/N loved. But too much happened in their past. They could never be a functional couple. They were still best friends, Grayson and Ethan seemed like the only people that truly cared about her. And she hated herself how much her feelings made her act like she does. Like a heartless, cold bitch. She didn’t want to be like that, but she couldn’t stop her monsters. Not now.

“Nothing, I think I’ve just had a nightmare.”

We’re all suicidal kids, telling other suicidal kids that suicide isn’t the answer.

#Grayson Dolan #Dolan Twins #Fanfiction #Dolan Twins Fanfiction #Grayson Dolan Fanfiction #Angst #Depression #Smut #Grayson Dolan Smut #dolan twins smut #DXLANSFXCK

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dxlansfxck · 5 years

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Painting Flowers [G.D] 03

Deep inside his head, Grayson knows for sure that he should break the kiss, push her off and maybe even insult her for kissing him. He really wanted to insult her, make her feel bad for what she did, for kissing her mother’s boyfriend, but all he did was deepen the kiss. Pull her even closer and bury his hands in Y/N’s unruly hair. He was even moaning into this kiss that gave him much more than it should. The bottle of wine on the table was long forgotten as Y/N breaks the kiss just to pull Grayson inside the living room, not caring about going into either of their bedrooms, but letting themselves fall down onto the cold leather couch. If this was a bad romantic movie, they’d probably end up on a piano or something, but the couch seemed good enough and suddenly, Grayson didn’t mind the cold leather object right now.

The kiss was broken by now, but the electricity between them was still tingling, as if little sparks would light up on their naked skin that would touch from time to time. They almost ate each other with their gazes, looking at the opponents still-clad body in the pale moonlight until their lips met with greed. To be honest, it must have looked like cannibalism to any one other than themselves. The smacking sounds and groans echoing through the entire room.

It didn’t take either of them by surprise that soon enough their shirts and pants flew off and around the room. Grayson almost ripped Y/N’s leggings in half in order to get them off her body. He muttered a reverent “Wow” while scanning her body, trying to memorize every little detail: the freckles that were splattered over her arms, neck and face, a few birth marks on her stomach, some scars and even little tattoos that were placed around her pale skin that seemed to reflect the moonlight that was shining through the opened patio door. Her body was like a map that Grayson still had to learn, to memorize little details and spots to find his way on it. But it was a map that he definitely wanted to get to know and reveal to himself.

Y/N on the other hand already knew how ripped and big Grayson was since he walked around shirtless every night, sleeping in only his boxers and not caring about his mostly permanent bulge in his sport shorts. Little did she know how soft his skin was. Her black fingernails tracing some of his veins along his arms, making Grayson shudder under her touch. As soon as his pants were gone, Y/N took her time to study his tattooed thighs. Licking her lips at the thought of herself on top of them, rubbing her clit against the hairy thickness. His biceps were more prominent now that he was holding himself up over her tiny figure and once their eyes locked, both of them were hypnotized. The moon being the only light source made everything even more magical, the alcohol obfuscated their senses, the lust ruling over their bodies.

Of course, it was mostly hate that Y/N felt towards Grayson, but only because she fell for him a long time ago. She hated him for loving her mother. She was jealous, she knew that. Every night she used to either cry or vomit to the sounds they made in the bedroom, hearing them fuck was worse than hearing them whispering sweet promises to each other. Sometimes she even ignored the sounds her mom made and just concentrated on Grayson’s low moans while touching herself, feeling naughty and ashamed while doing so.

Neither of them thought that this situation would ever be happening – but neither of them wanted to stop it, both quietly thanking the alcohol for offering them this opportunity.

Grayson’s blood was boiling, both of their breaths were faltering while their glances were still locked. Suddenly, as if it was a planned move, both of their desires were taking over them while their lips met once again, Y/N’s fingernails marking Grayson’s back to prevent him from breaking the kiss once more, which shouldn’t have happened this night at all.

The situation became heated quickly again, so Y/N took her chance to change their roles. She climbed on top of Grayson and started to prep his entire neck with a mixture of sweet little kisses, soft nibbles and even some bites here and there – Grayson didn’t mind at all. His eyes were closed, his lips parted, and his mind was going absolutely crazy. One of his hands found their way into the messy hair of her affair – which was exactly what she was. An affair. Nothing more, nothing less. He knew he was about to cheat on his girlfriend that he somehow still loved, kind of. He should love her. Even though he felt guilty, he couldn’t deny how Y/N’s lips felt on his neck, how incomparable and satisfying it was to have her on top of him. Her teeth were now working on his chest, even biting slightly into his nipple. “Fuck.”

Grayson couldn’t control himself anymore, pushing Y/N off his body and howling over her, holding her upper arm in a tight grip while growling at her to show who’s in charge, grinning at the challenging look on her face. And then she did it – she growled back at him, causing his neck hair to erect, leaving goosebumps all over his body. Soon enough, Grayson’s hand was wrapped around her neck, his thumb pressing against her chin to lift it up, just to capture her lips once more. Their tongues fighting over dominance while Y/N chokes him as well, her tiny hand not even fitting halfway around his thick throat. Spit was dribbling down their chins, loud smacking sounds were heard, but as soon as Y/N was about to touch his bulge, Grayson jumps in desperation, rushing through the living room. “FUCK!”

His hands were running through his messy hair, almost running in circles while looking over to an almost naked Y/N. “Fuck, are you fucking serious? I’m with your mother! Fuck, what if Luna…”, Grayson quickly collected all of his clothes and ran into the bathroom, trying to cool himself down with a cold shower, sobering up through the fear of anyone realizing what he just did. The alcohol must be out of his system because his mind was crystal clear at this moment. His thoughts were wandering to Luna while he tried to scrub everything he just did off his body. Would Y/N dare to tell her mother? Would Grayson himself tell her? Y/N. He didn’t even think about her, what did she feel during all of this? “I couldn’t care less” was all he said to calm himself down, not caring about broken teenage hearts. He throws his head back into the waterjet as he breathed in deeply – and swallowed a bunch of water. Karma just got him.

It felt like hours – even the mirrors were misted by the steam – when Grayson stepped out of the shower, drying himself off quickly before grabbing the towel around his hips and walking into his bedroom to quickly change into boxer shorts and a shirt, just to make sure Y/N wouldn’t see anything if she decided to look for him. He was frustrated because one, he was horny as fuck, and two, he felt guilty, but not because of Luna. He felt guilty because he enjoyed her daughter more than her boring ass self.

Luna didn’t come back home from work in the early mornings, which led to the awkward situation of Grayson and Y/N meeting at the breakfast table, not knowing what to say at all. Just like Grayson, Y/N seemed to be waiting to go downstairs, just to prevent the position they both were in right now. The older man started the coffee machine, filling his cup with the burning liquid before spreading some avocado on a piece of toasted bread. The cautious girl just grabbed a banana while sitting down onto the kitchen counter, carefully watching Grayson while drinking a cup of water. He didn’t even bother to look over his shoulder, not caring to watch her at all. That’s what he thought at least. He quickly put his used knife in the dish washer before sitting down at the dining table while scrolling through his phone, texting with Ethan and even looking around Instagram.

Y/N, who wasn’t wearing anything besides a sports bra and some booty shorts due to the fact that she just came back from a run, was sitting in his field of vision, eating her banana while being focused way too hard on the giant sitting across from her. She decided to quickly hop off the counter just to sit at the table as well. She copied his actions by grabbing her phone, sending some snaps to her friends while slowly sliding her foot upwards his leg, burying it into his crotch area. Grayson gasped quietly, but doesn’t show off any arousal while finishing his toast. Just in this moment, Luna walked into the kitchen, smiling widely and pressing a kiss on each of their foreheads. “Good morning, family.”

“He’s not family.” Y/N’s toes were wiggling around his bulge, earning an angry look from Grayson. Luna ignored her, taking a sip from Grayson’s mug before sitting down next to her daughter.

“So, what did you two do last night?” She smiles at Y/N, but it fades into a frown as soon as she sees all the love bites and scratches around her neck. “Well, doesn’t seem like I have to ask you about your night. We don’t have to repeat the talk, do we? Please tell me you know how protection works, hun.” Y/N shakes her head while smirking at Grayson. Luna seemed to be confused, then started laughing hysterically. “Oh babe, when I meant you should talk with her, I for sure didn’t mean that kind of conversation. But, well, thank you for trying.” Then she went straight to bed, trying to get the rest that she missed the past days due to her many jobs.

If looks could kill, Y/N would already be dead, twisting and turning around in her grave. Grayson was fuming. “Are you fucking serious?” She just nodded, smiling like the angel she for sure isn’t.

“Yeah, I don’t have anything to loose, neither you nor her. So, will you tell her that you made out with her little, drunk, innocent girl? Or shall I tell her that you came home blackout drunk and forced me to kiss you?” Y/N’s smirk grew wider and wider while the crease in between Grayson’s eyebrow became deeper with every word she said.

“Neither! You keep your mouth shut, I keep mine shut, that’s it. And, even if you tell her, what would you think could happen? Angel, do you really think your mother would believe you? She even wants to send you to a Boarding School because of your behavior. Sorry, there’s nothing do to for you.”

Grayson leaves the kitchen with one last shrug to lay down in the living room. But who would’ve thought – Y/N followed him. And then she did the unbelievable, placing her small figure onto his thick thighs, getting comfy in his lap while frowning. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I don’t want you to be mad at me,” her fingers started to trace his tense chest muscles over his shirt. “You can punish me, if you want to.” Her lips came in contact with his ear lobe while Grayson tried not to moan out loud. “Or you’re just fucking me right here and there, Daddy.” Her words were nothing more than a breath of air, but Grayson understood. Damn right he did. He growls loudly, not able to stop the sound coming straight from his chest, before pushing her off his lap and grabbing after the television remote. But Y/N doesn’t begrudge him the rest.

“Daddy, don’t ignore me. Please, Daddy. Damn, do I have to touch myself or will you just do it?” The whining sound of Y/N’s voice, her grabby hands and her fucking short outfit drove Grayson crazy – and brought him in a special mood. He glances at his watch, realizing that Luna would be asleep the next 6 hours. Without waking up.

“Crawl back onto my lap, kitten. One more sound and I’ll double the amount, understood?” He watches Y/N emotionless, trying to hide his smirk as soon as he made contact with her now shy eyes. She nods – curious but also nervous – before climbing back onto his thighs, laying down on her stomach and trying to get comfortable. Grayson didn’t even wait for her to lay correctly before bringing his hand back down onto her exposed ass cheeks, slapping it quite hard, wanting her to know who the boss in this situation was. Y/N didn’t mind. She grinned, waiting for what would happen next.

At the beginning, Grayson felt kind of weird to actually spank her, but as soon as he sees her ass bounce and wiggle in front of him, seeing her squirm under his touch and moan against her own arm, he started to get really into it – he pushed her shorts even higher to expose her entire ass for him. Her cheeks were already stained by his enormous hand prints, red and swollen, but Grayson didn’t stop. Y/N started to mewl, making Grayson’s dick twist inside his boxers. He softly brushed his fingers through her hair, whispering a soft “Ssh” before slapping her once more. She wanted punishment, so she got it. „That was the last one.“ „Fuck“, was all that Y/N could say, surprised by the amount of pain, but still smirking. “But I liked it, to be honest.”

Grayson just rolled his eyes while pushing Y/N off himself once more. “That was enough for now, huh?” Then he grabbed the remote and did what he wanted all the time: relax.

He woke up with an aching pain inside his pants that made him moan in frustration. Without even opening his eyes, he laid back into a more comfortable position, his head on the couch rest. Then he realized where he was – still on the couch, not with Luna in their bed. It couldn’t be Luna that surprised him. Now he was fully awake, opening his eyes quickly. “You can’t just get enough, huh?” His voice was still raspy and causes Y/N to shudder. Her lips were currently placing sweet little kisses around his belly button while softly palming his now throbbing dick through his shorts. He just grinned, watching the girl in front of him but not caring to touch her at all. He wanted to know how far she’d go – and how desperate she was. “Daddy, please. You started something that we need to finish now..” That filthy little thing really got turned on while Grayson was slapping the living hell out of her. He laughed in disbelief, grabbing her cheeks between one of his hands.

“You really think you could wake me up, disturb my fucking sleep, just because you’re horny?” He shakes his head, looking at Y/N in disguise. “Just because of that, I should spank you once more. And just to clarify it: you’re only allowed to come when you’re told, alright?” Y/N just nods, not breaking the intense eye contact. “Use your words, little one. That’s why you were born with a tongue.”

“Yeah, I understood…” “I think you forgot something”, he raised an eyebrow while pinching one of her perky nipples, making Y/N moan directly. “Yes, Daddy.”

Grayson nods in agreement and grabs Y/N’s head once more. “I’m too tired to punish you, you’re lucky. But you started something”, he turned her head into the direction of his full erect cock, “that you need to finish now. You should be thankful that you’re allowed to suck Daddy’s cock that early, huh?” Grayson quickly removes his shorts, his dick slapping against his toned stomach, before pressing the younger girl directly onto it, burying his aching shaft inside her throat, amused by the gagging sounds she made.

Maybe it wasn’t such a stupid idea to get this going, was all he thought while closing his eyes and relaxing back into the couch, enjoying one of the best blowjobs in his life.

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dxlansfxck · 5 years

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EVERY WOUND WILL SHAPE ME [G.D] • 03

They really had some kind of fun this day – even Y/N was laughing one of the most real laughs in the last couple months. But now, she was laying in her bed, thinking about everything that ruined their day. Thinking about what Grayson was doing wrong, again.

I am the ghost in the shadows, I am the fear of the dark, I am the murderer of apathy – an angel that’s fallen.

Her head was buried between her pillows, her body rolled up in her soft blanket, trying to get the comfort she truly needed right now. Once her body was hidden, she didn’t have to think about the issues she has with how she looked in her swimsuit, how much flatter her stomach could’ve been if she didn’t eat the breakfast Grayson brought her. But well, he didn’t need to worry about what he was eating, his body was close to being perfect.

But Grayson – of course – didn’t mind her weight as he quickly carried her on his shoulders, walking around with her and throwing her into the warm saltwater. Little did he know that drowning was one of her biggest fears ever since her parents died. Even if it was just a simple pool instead of the gigantic ocean, she didn’t like being under water, squirming and fidgeting under the surface, trying to get up again.

Grayson loosened his grip on her head, letting her breathe again, but while she was literally gasping for air, all he did was checking out some girl that was walking past them with such a perfectly shaped body and huge tits that made Y/N cover her own with her hands.

Well, Y/N wasn’t feeling to be left out once again, so she quickly decided to get over into another pool area, enjoying the even warmer water on her own while watching Grayson talk to this fucking idiot that was about to steal her best friend.

I am the psycho, the sinner. I am what you can’t escape. I am the splinter underneath your skin, I am a monster.

With a bang, I feel my heart start to separate, the enemy within can no longer be contained.

Even an hour later, Y/N was already laying on one of the deck chairs, trying to dry off a bit, Grayson was still talking to that slut, obviously enjoying her company. It may be just an hour, but to her it felt like 800 years of pain and suffering. Of being left out. He came with her, he begged her to come here, so why is he spending his time with someone different? The smile he was giving this woman was a smile that she didn’t see that much, it was his happy smile. The one that only showed once he was really comfortable around someone, showing off his perfectly white teeth while a soft giggle was escaping his lips.

She had to turn her head, looking away, before she started to cry again. It pissed her off that she couldn’t leave, because Grayson was the one that decided to drive today. Looking around while huffing in annoyance, she saw someone that caught her eyes in seconds. He was tall, a giant, with soft blonde curls hitting his shoulders and a slight scruff covering his face. His shoulders and chest were broad, but he wasn’t as built as Grayson was – but Y/N didn’t care. Hell, he was fucking attractive.

She smiled at him, winking while biting her lip to hide a giggle that desperately wants to escape her mouth, almost feeling like a schoolgirl having her first crush. The unknown man laughs while walking towards her, receiving an winning smirk from Y/N, before he sits down next to her, asking for her name before introducing himself: Luke, 22 years old, musician in a pop-rock band. And definitely Y/N’s type of man.

I’m running from myself, there’s something inside of me and it’s ripping a hole through my chest.

They were talking for almost as long as her ‘best friend’ talked to this annoying girl, but by now she didn’t even care anymore. Starting to really like Luke and his dry humor, they talked about lots of things, mostly about him and his band. Luke was a born and raised Aussie, touring with his band through the entire world. He was currently living in Los Angeles while they were recording their second studio album and he probably will be there for another few months.

Instead of going for another swim together, Y/N offered him to come home with her, not needing Grayson to drive her anymore. He could spend the entire day with that girl, Y/N didn’t want him to be around her anyways – and once she saw Luke in his boots and leather jacket, she was damn sure what she wanted for that day instead.

The blood in my veins is made up of mistakes.

Well, now she was laying here, in her bed, that she shared with Luke not so long ago. She was still naked, but he was dressed and gone by now. Her body was aching, tired, but also satisfied. Smiling, she tries to burn the pictures of the last few hours into her brain.

His phone number in her phone, that she would either call very often or never again.

His body against hers, his hands everywhere at the same time.

His mouth, covering every place she wanted it to cover.

His lips, slightly parted, while they were repeating her name over and over again.

His eyes closed as she climbed on top of him, taking all of his length as she slid down onto him.

His fingernails buried in her back while she was riding out their highs.

Thinking about him, the one that betrayed her insecure self so much today.

His face as he entered her room and saw them laying in her bed, her bodies connected.

Her smirk as she slid down onto Luke again, pinching her own nipples as she looked him dead in the eyes and moaning his name, instead of the man’s that was currently laying underneath her. “Gray.”

I spit the fire from my lungs, the creature I buried is now the beast that I’ve become.

We pretend that we can be somebody else, but heaven’s judgments nothing when you’re already in hell.

Hours later, her tired feet were dragging her through the empty streets of Los Angeles. One cigarette after another finds its way out of the package, while Y/N’s lungs must’ve filled with pure smoke by now. But she just couldn’t stop, she didn’t get enough. Music was filling her ears, while the beat was keeping her heart alive.

The empty pack of cigarettes lands in the trash. Rain was running down her face, making strands of her hair stick together. Her phone was currently vibrating, but she ignored it, concentrating on anything but the two man that wanted to talk to her.

Grayson. Luke. Grayson. Luke. Gray… Luke.

We are possessed. We are all fucked in the head.

Once she finally arrived at her desired destination, a relieved sigh left her lips. It was a nightclub, nothing luxurious, probably something... shabby. But it was the only place that had what she wanted right now. Pills. Powders. Liquids. Everything that was necessary to forget what happened.

Those women and men that were dancing were dressed different than you’d see in usual clubs, most of them covered in latex – others were almost naked. But she was looking for someone special, the only person that could fulfill her current needs. Jairus. The one with the best… medicine. He was the one Y/N lost her virginity to when she just turned 16. Shortly after that, she started to buy her stuff from him. Ever since, she sleeps with him.

Once she bought – and took – what she needed, her body already reacting to the substance, she sat on top of Jairus’ desk, her feet dangling from it without touching the ground. “You’re always coming back, aren’t you?” Jairus’ fingertips were drawing lines onto her covered legs while Y/N was trying to process her current high. His lips started to move against her neck, while she crawled onto his lap, her fingers buried into his hair. Soon enough, their lips met. Teeth were nibbling on her nipples. Fingernails were scratching over his skin, leaving permanent marks. He opened his pants with one hand while holding down her neck with the other one, pressing her cheek against the wooden fabric of his desk. He’s the one in charge, both of them know them. Hell, it’s always like that. The drugs she always takes before sleeping with him – before she has to sleep with him – leaving her not caring at all, leaving her numb. But that’s what the needed to forget about Grayson.

Love is a hell, you are the devil and I am burning in the flames.

And suddenly, all the love songs were about you.

Still dazed by her intoxication, she arrives at the house, walking straight into the bathroom while already removing her clothes, ready for a shower to scrub off anything that happened with Jairus. Humming along to some random melody in her head, she didn’t hear that the shower was already running. Not hearing that someone was already inside, but as soon as she opens the bathroom door, a naked Grayson was revealed under the shower. Gasping, she couldn’t help but stare at him, enjoying every single muscle on his stomach before her gaze wanders further down – only to see the thermal bath-hoe kneeling in front of her best friend, lips wrapped around his erect cock. She could’ve enjoyed the view, for sure, if it wasn’t for this bitch to be on her knees. His groans causing goosebumps on Y/N’s skin, but most likely out of disgust. She was the one that was supposed to make Grayson feel those feelings, but now it was someone else. Again.

Closing the door silently, she walks straight towards to the other bathroom, stripping out of her remaining clothes before going directly under the way too hot waterjet. She rubs and scrubs her body as clean as it could get, while her skin gets redder with every second in this heat. Once she steps out of the shower, she instantly shudders at the temperature difference. Starring into the mirror, she grabs the blade out of instinct, holding it against the skin right under her left breast. Remembering the scenario, she presses the blade against her skin. Directly against her heartbeat.

Can you fix the broken? Can you feel my heart?

She wasn’t ready to leave. Not yet. She doesn’t want to leave. Instead, she slits line over line in her left thigh, silent tears running out of her eyes without mercy. Then, the blade falls onto the ground in silent and Y/N collapses, each and every feeling of being high leaving her body. The tears weren’t stopping, fleeing out of her messy head while she just screams out her frustration until her throat was sore and nothing but sobs were coming out of her lips. Her fists were punching the ground rapidly until her knuckles burst. Grabbing her hair, scratching her face, but nothing stops Grayson’s moans.

Sudden rage, sudden strength was running through her veins, the adrenalin pumping through her body while she successfully covers her scars and gets dressed, leaving her with almost no pain at all. Instead, she smirks. Opening his bedroom door, she forces some tears out of her – now almost empty – eyes, while a pout forms on her lips. Ignoring the fact that he isn’t alone, she steps into the room like she always would after a nightmare.

“Gray, can I sleep in your bed? I just dreamed a fuckin- Oh. I didn’t know you had someone over. Sorry.”

Stepping back into her own room, she grins, knowing that Grayson would feel bad for her, kicking this girl out and coming to comfort her. He always does. And he always will.

You smiled at the stars like they all knew your secrets.

Now they are laying here. In Y/N’s bed. Grayson and Y/N. She’s telling him about her ‘nightmare’ while Grayson listens quietly, wrapping his arms around her stomach to calm her down.

“It was so weird, Gray. I was there, but somehow, I wasn’t. I saw how I… drowned. But you were standing right next to me, not helping me at all because you were talking to some girl”, she bows her head, knowing his conscience gets worse by second. But as soon as he was about to say something, she continues to speak. “You were holding me under water, not realizing I was drowning. Once I was dead… You just went on and walked over to that girl. You didn’t care about me at all.” By now, she got angry again, talking herself into rage. “You didn’t give a single fuck about me. Well, then I woke up and wanted to take a shower in my bathroom, but what did I see? This fucking girl from my fucking dream sucking your fucking cock.”

His otherwise perfectly shaped lips open, but instead of speaking up, he closes them again. “I know, I know, I couldn’t care less about who you’re fucking, but in my bathroom? In my shower?” Now the side effects of the amphetamines were talking out of her. Anger. Fury. Hate. “You’ve got a bed to fuck your whores, Grayson. Don’t you?” His eyes widen in shock while he balls his hands to tight fists, now getting angry himself.

“Well, at least I don’t moan someone else’s name while riding some random guy, Y/N. I don’t moan your name. You’re nothing better than me, Bubbles.” This time, the nickname didn’t sound loving at all. It was full of scorn. “I don’t care about your sexuality and you know that. But what was that? Besides that, I found a towel, covered in blood in the laundry. And I bet it didn’t come from your ‘shaving accident’, huh? Care to explain?“

The air was thin, ready to be ripped from all the anger in it, but it wouldn’t be Y/N if she hadn’t had an answer for that.

“Oh, Grayson, little do you know, mh? I am cutting myself. I take drugs, different drugs every night. I drink too much alcohol. Whenever I fuck guys, I think about you. Think about your big cock deep inside my pussy while moaning out your name. Whenever I fuck girls, I imagine it’s you eating me out. Whenever I cut my legs open, I think about you. Even when I’m high, I think about you, Grayson. I don’t know why and I wish it wasn’t like that, because it fucking sucks, okay? But I can’t change it. I even dream of you, god damned! And when I wake up, I need to finger myself until I can’t come anymore, just because of you.”

You’re afraid to tell people how you feel because it will destroy them, so you bury it deep inside yourself where it destroys you.

Grayson was watching the girl in front of him the entire time, hesitating to say anything. Grabbing his own hair, he swallows loudly. “You’re dreaming of me? What exactly are you dreaming, Bubbles?” He doesn’t run, he doesn’t leave her side. He just watched her in anticipation. She coughs, trying to calm her voice down at least a little bit.

“We’re laying here in this bed, you’re touching me right there”, she gently places her hand onto his thigh, “while your lips move from my mouth to my neck”, her fingertips trace exact those spots, leaving him shiver under her touch. “Then, you’re removing my shirt, slowly. You’re always looking at me with that passion, that drives me crazy. Then, you’re kissing me again”, she touches his lips, so soft and featherlike, he almost didn’t feel her fingers. His breath hitches, not being able to look away from what he thought was his best friend. Until now.

“Your hands roam my body, exploring every inch, from my breasts to my legs”, his eyes wander to the baggy shirt she wore, while she keeps on talking. “You’re telling me how much you want me; how much you love me. Then I’m crawling onto your lap, removing your shirts and just stare at your abs for a while”, she giggles, “I’d be finally able to touch you wherever I want.” She draws a line from his jawline to his bellybutton and he flexes his abs out of reflex. “Your eyes are dark from lust while you’re looking at me like nobody else ever did. You’re kissing my scars, telling me you don’t mind them.” She pulls the covers to the side, exposing her legs to him.

He stops breathing, not being able to speak up. But Y/N didn’t care. Instead, she keeps on talking. “Then you’re giving me one of the best fucks I’ve ever had, we’re laying in each other’s arms while enjoying every second of it”, she shrugs it off as if it was just a dream. But the bulge in Grayson’s pants were speaking for him. “But it was just a dream, so don’t worry, I won’t jump onto your dick or something like that.”

Standing up, she lets the over sized shirt fall down to her thighs, covering her black lace underwear while she grabs the cigarettes from her nightstand before walking towards the opened window. He just sits there and stares at the girl he thought he knew. But she was so different to what she used to be like. He remained quiet the entire time until she came back onto the bed, looking at him all innocent. “Would you mind leaving now? I’d like to sleep.”

Grayson stands up nodding, walking to the door awkwardly and tries to hide his erection – without success. Once he was out of the door, he looks over his shoulder, starring at Y/N. Then, he shakes his head and basically runs towards his best friends, kissing her without restraint.

You don’t need water to feel like you’re drowning.

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