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estellaelysian · 3 years

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It burns (Ethan x MC)

A/N: This is super self indulgent and doesn’t lead anywhere so proceed on your own risk

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The alcohol scorched down his throat as he let his mind wander in the memories of the day, which seemed too distant now that it was over. Evening shaded into night beyond the red-brick walls of the bar – which were lined with numerous neon signs, the glow spilling onto nearby tables and people. Ethan chased the shadow of Alishka as his mind jumped from one moment to the next in all those where they had interacted with each other over the day. The image of her deep green eyes, wavy brown hair and full lips remained forever etched into his mind, giving him warmth like an eternal flame would.

It was late when he made it to this bar – Russo and Dale – but it was also when he found Boston the most loveable, shimmering in the glow of night, her streets thrumming with life and beating hearts and cheerfulness. He had taken an unnecessary walk from the hospital to his destination, wanting to feel anonymous in the dull crowd of people who were walking down the street. The permanence of the aged buildings, the restored Victorian row-houses surrounding English-style corners and the glowing yellow street lamps in South End seemed to give somewhat of a reassurance to his bruised and tired soul as he weaved his way among the sea of strangers. Walking wearily past dark shops, while the sky turned to a deep blue-black above him, he tried to find solace in the anonymity.

But now, at long last, when he found himself alone again, the unease returned, stronger than ever. He took a sip of the amber liquid, then another and then a third, but nothing seemed to ease him as he listened to the determined thud of a bass from the neighboring dive-bar. The foolish chatter around him did not drown out the rising voices inside his head – her voice and his, as they had argued in his office long into the afternoon.

That one argument had been enough to disrupt the entire balance he had built with the same woman whom he had disappointed today. But it was a mutual disappointment. She had been irrelevant to.

Shaking his head, he took another sip, letting the alcohol burn down his throat as he stared – quite intently – at the marble counter in front of him. It was amazing really, that the woman from whom he drew his strength could also be one of his greatest weaknesses. That was exactly why he had retired to his old office in the afternoon. He had lost focus, so instead of looking into patient care, he thought drowning himself into paperwork would help.

But indeed, it had not. Did it ever?

His mind, like a blissful dog scampering back to its lamppost, seemed to be stuck at the argument – making assumptions about the way she sounded, acted, spoke – no matter how much he tried to distract himself. Everything blurred around him, as if he had tuned out from his surroundings.

Why, he thought, was it so necessary for her to be insistent about things that did not matter to him? To latch onto one subject and stretch it until his patience snapped?

Or had he been truly unreasonable this time?

Oh dear God…

He swirled the gleaming liquid in its glass slowly before taking another sip, intent on numbing his brain, only that it refused from being so. Over and over again, her voice tortured him from deep inside; calling him out on the stubborn asshole he was before fading, only to return for the millionth time.

But wasn’t that the point of tonight? To get as far away as he could from the hospital, go to a bar in South End, and let the alcohol ease his pain and anxiety.

The door opened and someone stepped in, bringing together a cool Boston breeze and faint traces of wildflowers. Though his senses seemed unnaturally sharpened at this point, his eyes remained glued to his glass. But just a few seconds later, he found the woman right beside him, the scent of wildflowers much more perceptible.

Green flashed in his mind, deep and comforting, as he connected the scent, almost instinctively, to the one person it reminded him of.

Hold yourself, Ramsey.

In his peripheral vision, he saw the woman flag down the bartender and order a rainbow colored cocktail before turning away for a moment or two.

‘Quite the pain-relief, isn’t it?’ she asked in a mellifluous, sweet voice which fell like honey onto his tongue.

He could swear it was Alishka’s voice, but maybe he had dived too deep into the alcohol pain-relief. He had started imagining things.

Sensing that she was probably still expecting an answer, he nodded before looking straight at her.

And almost immediately, thought of Alishka Roy, even though he had put up a boundary between him and those insistent, maddening thoughts.

He didn’t realize it at first, but that smile – he would recognize it anywhere, anytime, no matter how detached he was.

But Alishka?

Nonsense. He was losing his mind.

‘I should’ve guessed my boss would come here after the much-exhausting day he faced at work today. It would’ve atleast saved me the time I spent wandering about.’

He raised his eyes to her face again. This was not an illusion. She was real, he thought, as he glanced at her hot coral lips which now wore an amused smile. He was not dreaming.

But why would she feel the need to wander about for him?

Do you really need an answer for that, dimwit, his mind chided.

‘Ofcourse you’d follow me here too,’ he said bluntly, battling away the sweeter responses, raising the glass to his lips.

‘You are not my boss outside of work, Dr. Ramsey. It is my freewill to do as I want to once I step outside the hospital.’

He looked up at her again, a smirk curling the corners of his lips. ‘Says the woman who bothers me all the same, inside or out.’

She made a dismissive wave, an easy laughter leaving her. ‘You’ve got a horrid sense of humor,’ she said. ‘Perhaps that is why everyone is terrified of you, even now.’

The last two words stung with an unimaginable burn, questioning the character he had spent years to build.

‘What do you mean, “even now”?’ he asked, the words coming out much more defiant than he wanted them to.

She smiled a benevolent smile as the bartender dropped off her cocktail, which smelled strongly of Pernod. Raising the glass up to meet her lips with tantalizing slowness, she said, ‘Even now, when they’ve learned that you can love something, someone more than medicine. Wholeheartedly.’

He choked on his drink involuntarily, but she went on, as if she hadn’t heard him at all. ‘And yet, at the same time, you can manage to be incredibly bitter to that someone.’

She took a long gulp of her cocktail, and again, before he could respond to her grievances, she said, ‘But anyway, I am not here to discuss that.’

Play pretend, he thought.

‘And why exactly, is it that you are here?’

‘Same as you. Pain-relief. My boss can be a real bore sometimes,’ she answered with the faintest traces of a smirk.

Let’s hear it now, shall we. ‘Who is your boss?’ he asked, going along with her little game.

‘Some world class, renowned, grumpy attending diagnostician.’

He liked how she complimented him and got a dig at him in the same sentence.

‘He seems to have a stressful job,’ he said, looking over the glass to her heavenly features, painted in the neon glow of the bar.

‘That he likes to imply. He is good at what he does.’

He nodded, trying to contemplate her answer, thinking that there would be traces of sarcasm in her answer, but found none.

‘Cheers to that,’ he said, clinking her glass with his own, their fingers brushing slightly, setting his body ablaze with the kind of fire that raged through forests. It was the closest they had got to touching that day, morning apart.

He finished the scotch in one long sip under her watchful gaze. Torture or bliss, there was no answer.

Though dulled by the excesses of the alcohol, he felt anger rise inside his body at the men who made glances in her direction, from a distance or even as they passed her. She seemed to draw much more gazes today than she did usually.

What exactly was it? Her rich brown hair, inching down her back, or those emerald eyes that gleamed with cleverness? And why, every time, did his jealousy had him to do things which he shouldn’t have been doing?

He didn’t know.

What he did know, was that he wouldn’t let those men even get near her.

So he raised a hand to her face, smoothing away stray strands of hair and tucking them behind her ear.

If she was surprised, she did not show it, but a lovely blush spread out on her cheeks, spreading down to her graceful neck and uncovered shoulders. She eyed him with a raised eyebrow, and he willfully ignored all the ideas that look gave him. Tonight was different. Even if they left the bar together, they would part ways almost as soon as they were outside, walking down in opposite directions.

Tonight they were fighting, even though it was different.

Even if he had to have his heart tugged and pulled and then torn, tonight was different.

Her emeralds met his sapphires, curious and bewitching.

He wished he could kiss those perfectly painted lips and ruin that makeup.

‘How about we make a deal then,’ she asked, setting down the glass on the paper napkin that was left on the shiny marble counter. ‘Tonight, let’s forget everything. Let’s forget that you are my irritating boss, let’s forget that I am a – what did you call me? – ah, bothersome resident. Let’s forget those men staring down at me from the opposite corner of the bar. Let’s put a pause on this battlefield, even though I am sure I can outwit you in every way, and let’ go home together.’

That was a tempting offer.

The suggestive tone and the desire burning plain in her eyes ignited his need for her.

How could he not resist her, even a single night?

His voice came out dusky when he spoke again. ‘Let’s put them topics to bed, and go fuck on the roof.’

Just to say that we did.

She smiled. ‘I’d rather your body than half of your heart,’ she said, quoting the song back to him, her voice the sweetest he had ever heard it to be.

Ethan blinked. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell her that he was far from fighting or if he wanted to claim those lips, right now, right here.

Then he saw, over her shoulder, a man whisper something to another before looking at her neck. He felt disgusted as his gaze traveled lower and lower. He was suddenly overcome by the desire to punch him in his filthy face, but he kept his expression carefully neutral, not betraying a single of the feelings he was feeling at that exact moment.

‘Let’s go home then,’ he announced, rising at once and reaching for her hand.

He led her outside into the cool crisp Boston night and she only felt justified in flagging down a cab to the way home, though it wasn’t that far away.

They could’ve walked there.

But then he wouldn’t get to do as he willed right in the cab, as he decided he need not waste a single minute of the time he had been gifted, by incidence or co-incidence, all the same. He failed to keep his hands to himself in the darkened cab, momentarily being illuminated by headlights and taillights of the passing traffic, as he crowed her into a corner, evoking soft moans. He watched her, bathed in red light, her sequined top glittering as the light shifted against her profile. Her eyes met his and he lost his sane, his coherent thoughts reducing to a small compass in his brain. Her lips commanded his attention, and he pressed his lips against them, evoking a gentle sigh as their breaths mingled. Her soft fingers grazed his rough beard as her hand rested against his cheek.

The music masked their muffled whispers and moans, but he could feel the drivers eyes, moving with unnecessary regularity, from the road ahead to the rearview mirror.

Even in the elevator, they stumbled, failing from keeping themselves from touching each other. The button to the thirteenth floor was pressed before he felt the soft pressure of her lips against his own. Her tongue was cool and sweet and tasted of Pernod.

‘Alishka…’ he managed to say between the kisses. ‘Why do we fight at all?’

‘Because we are …’ a little giggle. ‘Both … very stubborn …’

A few seconds later they stood at his door, which was unlocked with haste and shut close with a loud bang. The moment they stepped inside, he dipped his head and closed his lips over hers.

‘Nothing makes sense without you…’ he murmured into her ear, proceeding to tug her tight against him.

‘Then accept your defeat …’ she returned immediately, making a quick work of his shirt buttons. ‘But then again, we’ve called a temporary pause on this battlefield, haven’t we.’

Albeit reluctantly, he agreed. ‘We have.’

He led her to the bedroom, helping her out of her clothes before easing her down on the mattress gently, deciding the bitterness and pain had been enough for the day. The night had to be different.

Slow, gentle hands grazed the newly exposed skin with caresses too soft, before he leaned down on her, gazing into her eyes, letting his forehead rest against hers.

‘I love you.’

She giggled again. ‘I love you too.’

**********

Kudos to you guys if you made it out of this chaotic mess my brain put together. I honestly don’t know how this happened, but I guess it’s just me after a full, very real college day with loads of note-taking.

Tagging: @tenaciouslandvoidgiant @choicesaddict5 @schnitzelbutterfingers @starrystarrytrouble

Let me know if you want to be added or removed.

#ethan x mc #ethan ramsey #open heart #playchoices #choices

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aesthyuckic · 3 years

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AVENOIR | l.dh - VIGINTI DUO

Genre: High School AU (at beginning) ; Tarot Reader!Witch!Hyuck

Word Count: 4.3K

Warnings: (bold if in use) slow but with a purpose, belief contradictions, mentions of r*pe, blood, swearing, violence, mentions of abuse

Pairings: Lee Donghyuck (Haechan) x Reader (F)

THE LOVERS: partnership, union, duality, choice

The boy has taken her to one of his favorite restaurants in their own town. She never really ate out much when they were still ‘alive’ to the world and he wanted to share it with her. He asked if it was okay they go back for the surprise, just to make sure and they currently sat outside the restaurant. Though, considering they were dead and in a place where everyone knew everyone, that had to cover a lot of themselves up just to avoid the risk of being recognized.

Luckily, the streets were quite bare but it was still relatively early in the morning and a week day. It was a cold day anyway, the air was cool enough they could feel it through their clothes. It was nice though, to not have many people around them.

“Is my mom here with you?” Cosimia asked him.

“No, actually. I haven’t seen her since...” He started to blush just thinking about early that morning, still wondering if it had actually happened or was it his imagination at it again. “This morning... it’s the first time she’s left me alone since I woke up from my coma now that think about it. She’s got all day to spend with you when we get back even if I’m there to ruin it.”

“Don’t say that.” She chuckled. “You don’t ruin things, you make them better.”

And still, he always blushed at her kind word toward him. Her mom always did spend time with her, even if she wasn’t aware of it. He often find her sleeping in his spot on their bed next to her daughter when she was sleeping. The coldness of the ghost resulted in her curling herself in all the blankets. Most nights the boy spent sleeping on the couch, if one could consider it that at all along. He was too tall it was uncomfortable.

Too lost in his head, he was shocked when he felt Cosimia grab his hand that sat on the table next to the menu he was holding with his other hand. He looked confused about it and to leave him perplexed more, she had intertwined her fingers with his own without any sign of hesitation. He felt his entire being heat up when did so. Something about it now just seemed so different to him... It use to be something that could’ve just been viewed or done platonic but after that morning, it was obvious it was more which left him blushing and his heart racing.

“W-what are you doing?” He stuttered.

“Holding your hand.” She answered. “I thought you liked that.”

“Well, yeah, but isn’t it a little soon?” He asked.

“We’ve held hands plenty of times before, Hyuck, and we literally kissed each other hours ago. Plus we’ve cuddled and stuff like that before...”

“It just seems so different now...”

“I know... I’ve noticed you’ve been afraid to get close to me since I told you that story. You’re always asking if it’s okay and everything.”

“Well, what am I suppose to do? I don’t want you to feel frighten because of me or anything.”

“I know my limits, I’d tell you if something was wrong, honestly. Don’t worry about it. It’s new to me too, remember?”

She leaned over and kissed his cheek, softly. Something he still very much blushed about... He nodded, slowly before putting his attention back on the menu. He thought maybe he was being childish still acting like he had a crush since they were together now. Well, were they together? He wondered to himself since usually don’t couples discuss it before confirming it? All they did was kiss... and hold hands... but he had seen people that weren’t together do that too. They were obviously more than just friends, though.

“Should I call you my boyfriend now?” She asked, almost like she read his mind.

“Do you... want to?” He spoke, quietly.

“Why else would I have confessed and kissed you this morning, dummby?” She sighed.

“Does that mean I get to call you... my girlfriend then?”

“I would assume so.”

“Cool.”

He was internally screaming while trying to hide the big smile on his face. He tried to cover it up with his menu as he put on a straight face and cleared his throat. He seemed to forget she was naturally observant and could see what she needed from the corner of her eye.

“You’re a dork.” She giggled, rubbing her thumb over his hand which again was just something that put a smile on the boy’s face.

When the waiter came to take their order, Donghyuck was surprised to it was Renjun, an old friend of his, one of his best friends actually. He felt nervous and... guilty too, the whole time he was ordering to the other boy. He probably hurt him with what they pulled... Though, the sunglasses blocked out his eyes to anyone that anyone that was looking at him, he somehow felt the other could see through it.

He seemed complex when Donghyuck spoke too, which made it worse. The brown haired boy took the menus from them once he got everything, still with a very confused look on his face. He looked back at the boy and at the state, he tensed up.

“I’m sorry.” The waiter bitterly chuckled while touching his fingers up to the bridge of his nose with his eyes eyes closed. “I might be going crazy... Do I know you? You just sound very familiar, that’s all.”

“No.” He said quickly and firmly in hopes of not risking things any further.

“We’re from the east coast.” Cosimia chimed in to help. “We’ve never been here before either, we’re just visiting anyway.”

“Ah,” Renjun nodded. “Sorry about that... I just figured it out just sound like my old friend, Haechan... Kinda look like him to from what I can see. The anniversary of his passing is soon so maybe I’m losing it a bit, they say that happens. I’m sorry, that’s probably more info that wasn’t needed. I shouldn’t have said anything, just please don’t report me to my manger or anything. I’ll get on your order and make sure you get extra chocolate chips in your pancakes.”

“It’s okay.” The other boy reassured him, even though it was kind of hard. “You really don’t need to, I understand grief or anything.”

“I feel like I need to.” He shrugged. “You’re not a Lee by chance, are you?”

“Close, a Park.”

He gave a slight nod at the answer before he turned away to go back inside. He felt relieved when he went back inside because it was so close. Donghyuck questioned how dumb Renjun could be though. It made him feel a little better and the girl seemed to catch on to the boy’s unusual quietness, quickly. She reached up to rub his shoulder but now his hand felt cold without hers in it...

He was shocked they managed to pull off a fake death and now, everyone in their hometown thought they were dead. Though, it was his own hometown more than it ever was hers. Other than all that, the morning was fine and the both of them enjoyed their breakfast. The boy even shared some of his pancakes with, dare he say his girlfriend. It felt weird, but in a good way to say he had a girlfriend. Whenever he thought about saying he felt his heart flutter at the idea.

Cosimia went inside after they were both done with their breakfast in order to pay. While he wanted to do it because it was her birthday, she just reminded him of the risk they had just encountered. When she entered, she noticed the restaurant was much more lively compared to earlier and they were getting out of there at a good time. The old friend of Donghyuck’s was at the register and when she came over to pay he gladly accepted it. Though, he looked at her a little too long after the transaction was over. She had taken off her sunglasses but not the floppy, black hat which a lot of the people in the restaurant found rude and weird.

“You look familiar.” Renjun blurted out as he handed her the change, knowing full well she had said she’d never been around here.

“I get that a lot.” She shrugged with a small smile. “Just have one of those faces, I guess. Thank you, by the way! See you around, maybe.”

She left quickly after with a sigh of relief. Somehow she was thankful that she was forgettable to the people there.

Even though they had the whole day off according to Johnny, they went back after to go work just because it was the girl’s wish as to what she wanted. It turns out, their boss only put a closed sign on their booth so it wasn’t a hassle either. The only thing that was bothersome, was remaining so covered up since they had no idea who could come by and god forbid it be someone they know and end up with an incident like earlier. Luckily, it wasn’t a busy day for them either which meant more time with each other than anything. Work seemed to be less fun since their roles switched and the girl was still facing trouble with the cards, but they were both figuring it out.

“Okay, I have to go to the bathroom now.” He chuckled as he stood up out of his chair.

He found himself not wanting to leave, though. The both of them seemed to not want to let go of each other either. He suddenly noticed they practically never let go of each others’ hands all day... She managed to let go with a small smile. He’d just be right back anyway... It’s not like they hadn’t had conversations before where they didn’t want it to end either and it’s not like they had never held hands or that he’d gone for ever but still... For some reason, she missed his sweaty palm as he walked away and how comforting it felt to her.

Much farther away from their booth, the entrance to the carnival was full of people in long lines, trying to get their tickets and also get in. Mark had managed to finally get passed the gate after a long awhile but only then did he realize. He had no idea where he was going or what exactly he was doing. What if it wasn’t even his best friend and just some stranger that looked like him or something? He’d look like an idiot.

He walked around aimlessly for a little before he came across a guard standing by one of the metal barriers that closed off the area of land they were using. He seemed to be his age, though was much shorter than he was but was quite buff.

“Uh, excuse me?” He said while he approached the guard that was kind of intimidating. “I had a question...”

“What is it?” He asked.

“Do you happen to know a guy named Haechan..?” A little hope was in his eyes as he questioned the stranger. “He might even go by Donghyuck or Peter...”

The guy’s eyes seemed to widen.

“I need you to go, or else I’ll have to kick you out.” He stated, before he started to shove the black haired boy.

“Wait, no. Please!” Mark begged. “He is, or was my best friend and I seriously thought I was losing my mind because his death anniversary is coming up really soon! I just wanna know he’s alive and okay! No one else knows about this but me, please!”

The yellow haired guy seemed to stop, he was really strong for his size, “Do you swear?”

“Yeah! Yeah!”

“Give me your map.”

The other mumbled under his breath about a ‘Johnny’ killing him, presumably and hopefully figuratively as he drew on the map for him. Mark was on his way once the shorter of the two shoved the map into his chest abruptly, and walked away. He saw a line from where he was standing to a certain both that was circled on the map. Even though he hadn’t seen his supposedly dead friend yet, it felt surreal to know he was alive. He wouldn’t truly believe it until he saw him.

He followed the line drawn with marker until he reached the corner of where he was suppose to go. He took a deep breath while he closed his eyes. His heart was racing over it, this whole time Donghyuck had been alive. What was that trauma for exactly? He swear if it were real he’d kill the boy himself for what he pulled. He opened his eyes and before he could go any further he saw someone walk into the intersection of the tents there.

He recognized the side profile immediately, even with the sunglasses and baseball cap the other wore. The younger boy walked rather fast which left Mark to go chasing after him. In a small moment that seemed longer to him, he hesitated to stop the other but before he knew it, his hand rested on his shoulder. His old friend turned around, ready to punch someone until he laid eyes on who it was.

“Mark?” Donghyuck questioned, as he turned as white as a ghost.

“So it is you...” He huffed.

“Fucking shit, you come on the worst day!” He muttered on his breath. “Hold on, stay here.”

He saw his friend walk over to the booth that was circled on the map. He decided to spy on him and peek out more. It looked like he was talking to someone from the front of the booth for a moment. He went out a little more to see it was the girl he knew as ‘the weird freshmen’ but what shocked him was seeing the other lean down and kiss her. His jaw dropped but as soon as the boy moved he darted to where he was standing before.

Donghyuck had come back and found an area behind the tents with no one around to take Mark. He took off his glasses and cap since it was now in private basically. He already knew it was him so there was no point in hiding it. They leaned up against the wooden boxes that were stacked up. How exactly were you supposed to start a conversation with your own best friend after a year of almost being dead the whole time and then surprise, you’re alive and you lied? Not really a small talk sort of occasion. He sighed before he started on the very long story he knew he had to tell his friend. Though, he left out the paranormal stuff... He may have believed the ghost but not Cosimia being able to tell the future for some time and him being able to actually see ghosts now. At the end, he pulled up his shirt to show the other the scar he gotten when Ten had shot him. It was healing nicely but it was still so terrifying.

“That’s... something else, bro.” Mark said, not really able to find words for it all as he was speechless. “You couldn’t have at least told me? Or Renjun? We are, or were your best friends. Still very confused on what tenses I should use for this...”

“It was...” He started. “A last minute decision. I didn’t even know we’re going to be faking our deaths until we got to the beach either, dude. I didn’t have time too in the first place.”

“I can’t believe you left with the weird freshman girl like her dad said you did. Everyone thinks you two dated in secret after everything found in your guy’s room. It’s wild... and really weird for you to date her considering what she was like and what you were like...” He said, in hopes the other would say something himself rather then him bringing it up.

“I don’t like the way you talk about her. She has a name, you know? It’s really pretty and fitting too... It’s Cosimia, it was probably on the missing posters, her vigil and it was even in the yearbook so how wouldn’t you know at this point? She was never weird in the first place, and as cliché as it sounds, she was truly just misunderstood.”

“You didn’t know her name before either. You use to make fun of her too, so what’s the big deal? She acted weird and no one knew her name, she was invisible besides that trait.”

“Well, I shouldn’t have, okay?! I was so fucking stupid then and so was everyone. You don’t know her, no one knew her and I feel... I’m still getting to know her even after a year of us almost always being together... She’s really strong, caring and smart. She’s a lot of things and she’s taught me so many things. What’s the big deal if she was or is weird? Isn’t that what makes people interesting? She was really... alluring, that’s what I left with her the way I did! And you know what? I’m pretty sure it’s the best decision in my life I’ve ever made! I’m happy now, with everything I have and who I’ve become. I’m truly happy, something I now know I never was a year ago having to juggle school, sports, and a job to support my entire family. I get it’s selfish the way I just got up and left. I get it’s selfish I faked my death and leaving my family hanging like that along with you guys and I’m sorry! I can’t take it back, not now. It may seem pathetic I live in a trailer and work here now, but I’m happy with it all...”

“Wow, why are you getting so defensive?”

“W-why am I getting so defensive? Why am I, getting so defensive?! That’s my girlfriend, you idiot! She makes me happy and man, for as long as been out here with her, I think I might be in love with her!”

“Well, how am I suppose to know all that?! You’ve been dead to me, literally, for the last year basically!”

Donghyuck sighed before it all fell silent between them. He crossed his arms as he looked at the dried grass under their feet. He calmed down a bit when he looked toward the field and say the sky was light orange as the sun rested in between the hills. The wind blew softly which was something always soothing.

“You weren’t.” The younger mumbled. “I’m sorry for blowing up like that, it just angers me... to realize the person I was a year ago... I didn’t even know her then and she turned out to be the most interesting person I met in the end. No one knew anything besides she was quiet for the most part and had no friends. No one noticed the bruises on her or the days she’d go missing.”

“You didn’t either.” Mark pointed out.

“But I started to!” He explained. “Right at the end, before we left. That was really the start though, wasn’t it?”

They had talked to one another for awhile after, it had been too long since they talked. To Mark, it was like having a friend come back from the dead on final time. It was just nice to know he was okay and doing well. The silver haired boy suddenly realized how long he had been away. Somehow the time still felt too short...

“I should get going.” Donghyuck sighed. “I really just told the first lie of my first relationship for this.”

“The first?” The older questioned. “That’s kind of impressive... How long have you even been dating?”

He hummed while he blushed and rubbed the nape of his neck, “We just made it official this morning but it’s kinda been months of pining, some mutual.”

“You really like her, don’t you?”

“Well, duh. Did you not hear the part were I said I might love her earlier? It’s not something you say lightly if you don’t mean it, especially when you’re angry like that.”

“Yeah, we don’t need you going off like that again. I should’ve just questioned you about the kiss I saw earlier.”

“Y-you saw me kiss her? And you couldn’t figure it out or anything?! You’re an asshole!”

Mark laughed as his old best friend playfully beat him up as he defended himself. It just felt nice to finally have it again after awhile of missing it.

“Wow, dude, are you wearing makeup?” The black haired boy asked.

He started to blush again, and sweat a little at the question he was afraid to answer. He put his cap back on along with his sunglasses to hide himself.

“Cosi, I mean Cosimia, she does it for me every morning.” He replied rather softly.

“There’s nothing wrong with it.” His friend shook his head. “It actually really suits you, makes you look less ugly.”

The comment earned him a punch in shoulder which he laughed at. Some things never truly did changed, regardless of time and growth. The two boys ended up sharing a hug before they went their separate ways.

“It was nice to see you again.” Mark smiled. “You know, after thinking you were dead and all.”

“You too.” The other chuckled. “Hey, please don’t tell anyone that we’re here. There’s a reason we faked our death.”

“Your secret is safe with me.” He nodded.

“We come here every year, usually it’s earlier though. Come by next year if you can. I can let Yangyang know who you are and get you in free or something.”

“Write me when you’re back in SoCal for the winter months too!”

“I’ll try.”

They finally bid their final goodbyes before they went their separate ways for the year.

It was later that evening, when they were done with work for the day and getting ready for bed that he saw the girl sitting on the bed, looking at papers. He had just gotten out of the bathroom after he cleaned his face and changed into more comfortable clothes. He sat down on his side before going over to hers and wrapping his arms around her while rubbing his face against her shoulder.

“Whatcha doin?” He hummed.

“I’m just looking at our natal charts again.” She laughed a bit. “I haven’t done it in awhile... especially not since this started.”

“What are the results then? Are we compatible?” He asked.

“Well, I don’t think I’d leave it up for that to tell. We already work well together as it is and you know there’s different types of astrology too. We do share a moon though. Supposedly when you do, you usually feel really close to them in a short period of time, like a soulmate but not exactly.”

“Are you saying you don’t think we are soulmates?”

“Soulmates are different from twin flames. I think I’d rather have you as a twin flame.”

“What’s the difference?”

“That may be a little too intense for now. I’ll tell you another time.”

He nodded and he kissed her cheek before he rested his chin on her shoulder, “Is there anything surprising on there to you?”

“Hmm, you’re Gemini Venus actually.” She answered. “I think to some extent you resonate with it but I feel like you’re a Taurus Venus since that’s what it is on your sidereal.”

“Why do you think that exactly?” He wondered as he didn’t know astrology as well as she did. “Honestly, you’re so good at this stuff you should offer it at the booth or something.”

“It’s too exhausting for me to do that, no matter how much I love it. But, the reason I think you’re more like you’re Taurus Venus is because you’re loyal, like they are. You like psychical affection in friendship and relationships. Remember what you said before summer solstice? About if I was going to love you it was going to be natural? They like when friendships and relationships happen that way. You’re also very stubborn but patient and devoting too. You get jealous as well and you’ve done nothing but be supportive of me and my limits. The kicker is they’re known for having very beautiful voices and being great singers and musicians, which very much applies to you in my eyes. Your voice is really soothing to listen to, especially when you’re singing and you play the piano and drums pretty well.”

“Oh, really? Why don’t I sing you to bed tonight then?”

He smiled at the compliments she had given him at the end. He started to think she was right about the Taurus Venus thing, what she said sounded like him. She let go of her for a moment so she could put the papers away as he got comfortable on his side of the bed. She turned off the light before joining him in the space next to him. They both got comfortable with her head on his chest as he played with her and started to softly hum.

He noticed she always fell asleep so quickly when he would sing to her. He could see she was barely able to keep her eyes open in that moment. Again, like he did so often, he felt his heart flutter at most mundane but beautiful sight.

“Cosi?” He softly called in the dark.

“What is it?” She asked, rather sleepily.

“Can I tell you something?” He whispered.

“Of course.”

“Do you promise not to freak out?”

“I promise, Hyuck.”

“I think I... love you, like I’m in love with you...”

She seemed wide awake when she looked at him. She didn’t say anything though and the silence between them was agonizing as they looked at each other. He was thinking maybe he shouldn’t have said that so soon but then she leaned up and kissed his nose. Yet, nothing was said about it or in response before she fell asleep for the night.

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eremiss · 4 years

Text

29. Paternal

Thancred had thought that, given his status as an Archon--and senior Scion, no less--he wouldn’t be asked to handle the smaller, more mundane requests that came through the Stones. He had more important matters to take care of, and there were plenty of other, greener Scions who could deal with whatever small issues cropped up. A bit more experience under new recruits’ belts was always a good thing.

Except apparently not, as Koh Rabntah pulled him aside before he’d even set foot in Revenant’s Toll proper to ask him to investigate a ‘suspicious character’ that was loitering around the entrance to the Seventh Heaven. He hadn’t been able to come up with a satisfactory excuse to avoid the task before Koh had considered the matter settled and walked off. Sigh.

After most of a bell perched in an alcove above the chocobo stables, Thancred has decided the poor sod moping in the shadows off to the side of the bar-slash-headquarters is, in fact, not at all suspicious. He seems to be something of a vagrant and a loner, neither of which are particularly noteworthy or cause for concern. What’s more, he hasn’t bothered anyone, at least not directly, since Thancred started watching him. Rather, his blatantly morose demeanor is apparently prone to catching the attention of passersby, even though he hasn’t said so much as half a word to anyone and has done naught but stay out of the way and keep to himself. Seems some people just can’t catch a break.

For all his mundanity, though, there’s something about him that is rather… strange. Even by adventurer standards, which is really saying something. Strange enough that Thancred isn’t entirely sure what to make of him.

Something keeps catching in his thoughts like a pulled thread, tugging oddly at him every time he takes a long, hard look at the man’s face. He almost feels like he’s forgetting something. Thancred isn’t so cocky as to claim he can remember every face he’s ever seen, and fifty-odd fulms is far enough for features to grow a touch murky (particularly with only one eye at his disposal), but he’s confident he’s never seen this stranger before.

And yet...

Much as Thancred was looking forward to trading in his patrol route --add that to the list of mundane requests he really thinks should be reserved for new recruits-- for sitting on his arse sorting through intelligence reports, the persistent tugging in his thoughts convinces him to do a little more investigating.

It leads nowhere.

The man is about as new as newcomers get, having arrived at Revenant's Toll mere bells ago. The caravan he’d ridden in on had stopped just long enough to feed and water their chocobos before resuming their journey to Coerthas. They’re probably halfway to the Observatorium by now.

Thancred supposes that the man could’ve just been left behind. It’s easy to lose track of time, and he wouldn’t be the first person who sulk and flounder when facing the consequences of their carelessness. Plausible enough. But, given the fact he’s distinctly underdressed for the Coerthan chill, it doesn’t seem terribly likely.

Left with few options, and still trying to decipher the odd feeling there’s some detail he should be able to pick up on but can’t, Thancred finally bites the bullet and decides to have a chat with the fellow. One he’s going to have to entirely compose and carry on himself, if his intuition is right.

Thancred affects the mien of an amicable adventurer before setting out across the Aetheryte plaza, assuming the outgoing, personable persona that had served him so well in Ul’dah before it had been lost in the Lifestream along with his magic. It feels odd, stiff and dusty like an old jacket that no longer fits right. Hopefully he doesn’t have to wear it long.

The stranger has taken up residence at one end of a stone bench, shoulders hunched and elbows leaned heavily on his knees, and Thancred takes better stock of him as he ambles over. He’s average height for a Midlander, and thin in a way that suggests moons of lean living and scraping by. His clothes are cheap but serviceable, well maintained and relatively whole despite their obvious age, and the only dirt on him is the dried mud on his boots. Most of his face is obscured by his curtain of stone-gray hair, and what little Thancred can see is gaunt and smattered with a few days’ worth of pale stubble. It’s difficult to place his age, but a dozen summers older than Thancred seems like a safe, if polite, guess.

Thancred wonders if he might be a refugee yet in search of a place to settle, as opposed to a mere vagrant. He certainly has the look of it. Not to mention the distinct air of isolation about him, as if he’s sitting alone in the middle of nowhere, rather than at the outskirts of a busy plaza.

For want of a better greeting, Thancred offers a simple nod of acknowledgement and a friendly smile that feels a bit rusty. “Greetings.”

The man doesn’t respond, not even lifting his head when Thancred comes to a stop in front of him.

“Pray forgive the intrusion, I don’t mean to bother,” Thancred continues anyway, all friendliness and polite concern. He openly gives the man an appraising once-over that he doesn’t see because he’s not looking, “Are you quite well?”

After too long a pause the man lifts his head slightly. 'Twould seem he’s not deaf after all.

if he’s not a refugee, could he possibly be an adventurer? Probably not. “I couldn’t help noticing you look a bit out of sorts, if you’ll pardon my bluntness. Mayhap you’re in need of assistance?”

The man lifts his head a little more to better peer at Thancred. The lines etched in his impassive face speak as much of stress and worry as they do age. His dark eyes are dreary and dull but vaguely alert with a hint of interest.

Something about his eyes draws Thancred’s attention, another thread catching and tugging. It doesn’t lead anywhere except a fresh nudge of the bothersome feeling that he should be noticing something he’s not.

“Ah, ‘twould seem I’m getting ahead of myself. I’m Thancred,” he holds out a hand, “and what might I call you?”

The man hesitates, expression shifting with a bland imitation of surprise like that’s the last thing he expected to be asked. After a long pause he croaks, “Gawynn.” After another he reaches for Thancred’s hand.

Gawynn’s grip is loose, just shy of limp, and he’s quick to pull away. Not quick enough for Thancred to miss the curious array of calluses on his fingers and palm that suggest his hands are more accustomed to tools than weapons. From hammers, maybe? Perhaps he’s a smith?

They immediately lapse into silence again. Like he’d suspected, pulling conversation out of Gawynn is not unlike pulling teeth. “Now that we’re no longer strangers, hopefully I can be a bit more helpful,” he says good-naturedly. “I know Revenant’s Toll like the back of my hand, if you’re in need of guidance or information. For matters beyond that,” he rests his hands on the hilts of his blades, “rest assured, these blades aren’t merely for show.”

Gawynn considers the offer, face slowly tilting back towards the ground. Then he turns, gazing at the door to the Seventh Heaven with a look not unlike longing. Likely for a hot meal or a bottle of strong drink, if Thancred had to guess. He’d hardly be the first.

Or perhaps it’s less the Seventh Heaven, and more the Rising Stones? If that’s the case, Thancred wonders if he might be a messenger or courier. If so, whatever he’s meant to bring clearly isn’t --or had better not be-- urgent, otherwise he wouldn’t have been loitering out here for so long.

Gawynn takes a long, slow breath, seeming to muster his will. “The... The Warrior of Light,” his voice is quiet and faintly hoarse, as though he doesn’t have much occasion to use it. He twitches listless fingers to indicate the door he’s gazing at, “She frequents this place?”

Same as with faces, Thancred can’t recall every single voice he’s ever heard. Even so, he’s confident Gawynn’s is unfamiliar. Strangely, it doesn’t prod the back of Thancred’s mind the same way his appearance does.

“Lives here, actually. With the Scions of the Seventh Dawn,” Thancred says simply. It’s been public knowledge since they first moved to Mor Dhona, so he sees no reason to be cagey with his answer.

Gwen should be in the Stones at this very moment, actually. Unless she was called away while he was out on patrol and he hadn’t been informed for some reason.

Gawynn takes that in and slowly mulls it over. He doesn’t quite seem to know what to do with the information, or where the conversation should go next.

Thancred casually folds his arms and leans his weight on his back foot, offering a knowing smile. “Curious if the woman matches the myth, are you?” Gawynn wouldn’t be the first who made the trek out to Mor Dhona to investigate such things.

Gawynn thinks for a moment and takes another slow, pensive breath. He sits up a little straighter to better regard his new acquaintance, looking as though he’s having to muster no small amount of nerve in order to do so.

Green, Thancred realizes when the light catches right. Gawynn’s eyes are deep, dark green. A… familiar shade, even?

That nagging sense of familiarity twists into something shaped like recognition.

But Twelve take him, Thancred can’t figure out why. It’s just out of his grasp, like he’s staring at objects covered by some heavy tarp. He knows there’s something there, he can see just the barest hints of shapes, but he can’t get to them.

“Her name is-- Guinevere. Ashe. Isn’t it?” Gawynn asks haltingly.

“It is indeed,” Thancred says automatically, stuck awkwardly between his borrowed personality, his fumbling thoughts, and the beginning strains of suspicion. He adds, somewhat gracelessly, “Though she’s given to shortening it.”

Some sort of subtle look shifts across Gawynn’s face, not quite disbelief, not quite awe. After his customary habit of pausing he says, “You’ve… met her,” and it’s just shy of being a question.

Something is... not quite fitting together right, like two misaligned puzzle pieces.

Add that to the sodding shapes under the godsdamned tarp, for all the good oit does him. He can’t know what doesn’t fit when he doesn’t know what the pieces are, and he can’t properly wrack his brain without jeopardizing his act and the chance to get more information.

Thancred inclines his head, suddenly leery. “I have.”

Gawynn doesn’t outwardly react to the news, even after his typical pause for consideration. He doesn’t look particularly impressed, envious or skeptical. Fair enough, it’s not that impressive of a claim to make. Hundreds of people have met the Warrior of Light.

The abrupt shift in Thancred’s attitude hadn’t slipped his notice, surely? Going from open and conversational one moment to closed and succinct the next is hardly subtle.

Rather than express any suspicion, Gawynn chews his lips then looks towards the Seventh Heaven again. Whatever meager courage or will he’d gathered dissipates and he deflates slightly, abandoning whatever he was on the verge of saying and sinking back into his seat like he might well melt into it.

Thancred coughs politely. “Gawynn?”

His jaw shifts indecisively for a few seconds. “How…” he begins, then stops.

“How,” Thancred coaxes, offering, “did I meet her?”

A twinge of disagreement tightens Gawynn’s features for a moment, and then vanishes. Instead he redirects his green eyes to Thancred’s blades, his clothes, and then finally his face.

Why is Thancred growing more and more certain he knows who this is? And why is that sitting so oddly?

“How,” Gawynn heaves a long, heavy sigh that stings of resignation, “how… is she?”

Thancred blinks once. Twice.

What an odd thing to ask. Particularly to someone who only claims to have met her.

“Well enough, I would imagine,” he hedges, shifting the fold of his arms. “Struck me as a good person when I met her. Humble, kind, compassionate and all that. Didn’t seem to be letting all that fame and renown go to her head. Being--” somewhat- “--honest, I got the impression she’s not all that fond of being in the spotlight.”

None of that is particularly privileged or secret information, so sharing it is inconspicuous enough. Plus it’s true, which makes it all the more believable. Within a week of meeting her Thancred had thought her a promising prospect for the Scions, both because of her abilities and the sort of person she was. Aside from that, Gwen’s discomfort with being the center of attention and the focus of praise is obvious enough, despite her efforts to conceal it. The thing is, nobody notices.

Well. Almost nobody.

And Gawynn… almost smiles. Almost. His mouth doesn’t actually bend upwards to any significant degree, rather his heavy frown noticeably evens out. There’s a sense of relief about him as he twitches his head in a nod, as if that’s just what he was hoping to hear.

Thancred cocks his head, narrowing his eyes slightly. “If you don’t mind me asking, who are you, sir?”

Gawynn blinks slowly, almost-smile fading as gradually as it had appeared. He peers at Thancred, nonplussed.

Engaging in a battle of attrition with someone as averse to speaking as Gawynn is likely folly, but Thancred does it anyway. He’s got all day.

Eventually, when all traces of Gawynn’s lifted move have dried up, his eyes have dulled, and all his wrinkles and creases have deepened, he says softly, “No one,” and his voice is hollow like a burned out forest.

Thancred shifts his weight, unsure of what to make of his reply or the change in his demeanor.

Before he can cobble something together Gawynn pushes himself to his feet, moving with all the speed and grace of a washed up veteran thirty summers his senior. He twitches his head in the barest of polite nods that’s aimed somewhere around Thancred’s knees, then takes his leave without a word.

Thancred lets him go, watching him wander in the general direction of Rowena’s inn at a slow, labored pace.

After much debate he decides to keep the conversation, and Gawynn’s name, to himself until he figures out what to make of it.

-------------------

Paternal – adjective of or appropriate to a father showing a kindness and care associated with a father; fatherly related through the father.

Huh. Wonder who that was. *Cue mysterious music* >:3

Ty to the bestest beta reader @rhymingteelookatme for making sure this would hit how I wanted :B and for fixing all my ye olde grammar because I’m bad at it

#ffxivwrite2020 #Guinevere Ashe #My writing #Thancred Waters #how do I even tag this actually #mystery #I guess lol #when you don't realize who you're talking to #until the conversation is already over #I dun wanna spoil anything lol #so minimum tags #but I'm proud of this :D

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quixotic-writer · 4 years

Text

Right Through the Very Heart of it

A request sent in by: the lovely @birdgirl1772 !

Summary: A girl’s trip to New York is not what you had in mind for a girl’s trip, a trip to the clubs was also not what you had in mind for your second night in the city. When things begin to spiral out of control, the compassion of two strangers named Joe and Q will change your mind just a bit.

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The city that never sleeps: New York, New York. This is the destination of our girl’s trip vote and one I think i’ll probably hate the most. I was the only one that voted against it wanting instead to go to Seattle and just have a relaxing, calm, slow paced trip. Here I am now, shuffling desperately through my luggage to find a dress to wear for a trip to the clubs tonight trying to buy myself more time to mentally prepare myself for this evening’s antics. I tried protesting that as well. I insisted we could opt for something more my speed like a broadway show instead, but Ari and Bella just wouldn’t budge and that I HAVE to go. Clubbing it was for tonight’s activity then I guess. I had to remind myself that it wasn’t just my trip, they deserve their share of activities too.

“Come on girlll, pick a dress so we can gooo!” Bella calls from the couch of the hotel room, already dolled up in her midnight blue skin tight dress, raven black hair curled up in loose waves. Her legs dangled off the arm of the couch and she scrolled through her phone.

“Is it a las vegas extravaganza sparkly red night, or is it a sleek black dress kinda night?” I ask over to Ari who is busy looking at herself in the bathroom mirror. She adjusts her wine red dress and teases at her blond hair. She makes her way over to me and peers over my shoulder as she looks at the two lovely dresses I had in each hand. Her eyes narrow as her gears go in her head.

“Black dress, always made you look super hot. Simple is nice y’know, guys like simple especially in a place where everything is complicated.” I wasn’t really looking to get lucky tonight, just mingle and see if anyone sticks out. I shove the red dress back into my luggage and bring out the black spaghetti strap ruched dress holding it up to get a good look at it. I don’t think I ever got a chance to wear this at home, maybe tonight is a night of trying to be an upgraded version of myself. Ari made a good decision, this was probably more New York speed than the other one. “Now don’t be too long getting ready, the fun is waiting for you!” I roll my eyes and step into the bathroom to get myself all gussied up.

When I finally emerged from the bathroom, feeling clean and collected, Ari and Bella’s eyes widen and so did their smiles. I give them a whole 360 spin to show off all the goods I got going. I lacked self confidence, but the energy they had buzzing was enough to get me going.

“Look at you baby girl. If I was a lesbian or a guy, i’d eat you up that’s how good you look.” Bella exclaims.

“Girl I would not want to leave the club without getting your number if I saw you. You look HOT!” Ari chimes in. I feel my confidence soar and I felt a lot better than I did earlier.

“Well, let’s head out then ladies!” The girls hoot and holler as we get our shoes on for the night. Despite the good vibes we had going, deep inside I feel a sense of unease in the pit of my stomach, but I play it off as nerves. It’s been a while since i’ve been able to have fun so i’m determined to have fun tonight, dance with my girls, meet someone, get a little loose. I’ve been so uptight all the time that maybe decompressing and letting go is what my spirit craves and needs.

We walk down the crowded streets of times square, the lights of the signs are so bright it almost seems like it’s still daytime. The streets are packed with people who have somewhere to be, zany street performers doing their thing with swarms of people around them, cars that never stop honking, and people never stop shouting. People kept bumping into me, cat calling after me, and staring. It’s all starting to get a little overwhelming and I feel a sense of dread rising deep in the lowest part of my abdomen and my chest. It all slowly started building and nearly becoming too much for my senses and I tried to ignore the instinct to run back to the hotel room and hide under the covers for the rest of the night.

“Guys? How much farther? Getting a little cramped and anxious here.” I ask as we keep our stride down the side walk, men yelling obscenities to us with a hunger for exotic attention.

“Just another block and around the corner. Don’t get yourself so wound up already, our night is only beginning!” Ari grabs my arm and links it with hers, my feet stumble trying to keep up, but I push forward anyway. Just one good night is all I want.

We finally find the place Ari had been raving about this morning and we stepped inside. Loud music flooded my ears, dim lighting was a change from outside, the seats at the bar are half full, and there are people everywhere chattering away. It seemed like an average bar to me, not sure what there is to rave about like Ari had.

“I need a drink.” I say as I start making a straight shot to the bar. Maybe a drink and a small buzz will help ease my nerves, get me going for the night and keep whatever energy in me alive.

“There’s the party girl we’ve been searching for!” The girls follow me to the bar and we all take a seat, a bar tender with glasses and of seemingly Puerto Rican decent smiles and comes over to get our drinks.

“Back so soon Ari? And I see you brought some friends as well!” He greets us warmly and is already preparing a drink in front of us.

“Of course, last night was fun and I knew I had to bring my girls. Ladies, this is Sal! He runs this ship and sure knows how to make a hell of a drink.” We both smile and introduce ourselves as he slides Ari her drink. “You remembered the drink I got last night? This guy is fucking incredible.” He look proud of himself as he raises his eyebrows and smiles.

“So what can I get for you ladies?”

“Long island iced tea please.” I shoot out immediately, both Ari and Bella turn to look at me shocked. I’m not really one for drinks, let alone some of the stronger ones.

“Damn girl, you’re just diving in aren’t you? If that’s the pace for the night: can I get a screwdriver please.” Sal nods and begins making our drinks. In the meantime I look to others around the bar and I notice Ari had peeled away and wandered off to talk to a guy at the end of the bar with her drink in hand. She has her flirty face on, guess I won’t bother her for the rest of the night.

Sal places my drink in front of me and I take a long sip hoping that the alcohol in this drink will kick in soon. It warms my esophagus as it goes down and I already feel that I might regret this drink later. I sit at the bar and watch silently as Sal and Bella chat away. I was off in my own head trying to block out any bothersome and intrusive negative thoughts. Any thought that came to mind, I took another sip of my drink until I had either drowned the thought out or had nothing else in my glass. I eventually reached a point where I started eating the ice in my glass to sop up whatever alcohol was hiding in there.

“C’mon! Let’s go dance!” Bella grabs me by my arm almost making me bump my empty glass off the counter top. We shuffle over to the open space that was occupied by fellow drunk patrons moving to the music and Bella starts grooving immediately, swaying her hips in smooth motions feeling the rhythm and matching tempo to the tunes that poured into the room. I, on the other hand, tried dancing but I moved in stiff awkward motions, feeling uncomfortable and scared to accidentally bump into anyone around me for fear of it turning into a confrontation.

Before I knew it, Bella had managed to slowly peel away just as Ari had and was off dancing with some other guy and we started drifting away further, and further from each other until I was virtually on my own. I felt sense of regret and dread pounding at my lungs like someone had punched me straight in my sternum and bruised my ribs.

“I don’t belong here.” I say quietly to myself as I stood completely still feeling isolated from the social circle around me. Everything felt like a blur around me, faces seemed like smeared oil paintings, the lights felt brighter than the sun, and the room felt like it was spinning. My lungs felt as though they had stopped working and I was beginning to drown in the warm air of body heat.

“Hey there hottie.” I see a guy start approaching me, already I felt uncomfortable around him. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I wanted space, I wanted to be alone, I wanted out of here. I have a glazed over look in my eyes and he just ignores all signals to shut him down and keeps on pursuing me. “What’s a pretty girl like you doing all alone?” He tries to grab for my hips to dance and make a move, but I quickly bat his hands off of me back away.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” I say defensively and my fight or flight kicks in as I slightly raise my arms should I need to defend myself. My nerve endings feel like they’re on fire and shame washes over me as I realize tonight was a wash and that I just want to go back to the hotel more than anything. I kept denying myself my own comfort and here I am now in a situation I feel as though I can’t escape. A confrontation I feared in a place i’ve never been to began unravelling before me.

“What’s you’re deal psycho? Can’t a guy just dance with a girl?” He raises his voice and steps a little closer to me. I immediately mentally shut down and I felt as though I was dissociating and off on a whole different plane of existence.

“Hey buddy, back off and leave her alone. She’s obviously not interested.” An older looking guy with spiked up gray and white hair steps in and chases the guy off. He turns to me and rolls his eyes. “The nerve of some people. Are you okay? You looked a little anxious and I wanted to make sure you felt safe. Name’s Joe by the way!” He asks with concern riddling his face. I couldn’t speak, my voice felt trapped in my throat and everything around me began overloading all my senses until my legs gave out and I was left on the floor shaking feeling helpless.

Immediately Joe sprung into action dropping to his knees next to me and supporting me up so I didn’t fall back any more. He looks around to the oblivious crowd that felt like walls closing in on me.

“Hey! Hey! Give her some space, back up!” He waves his hands gathering everyone’s attention. The crowd turns to me and immediately part to create a circle of space and safety around me. I hugged all my limbs in tight close to me, I looked around frightened as tears tracked down my face. I felt mortified, I was making a huge scene. “Okay, take a moment breathe, I know someone who can help. Q! get your ass over here, got a situation!” He rests his hands on my shoulder to stable me and it felt warm and I felt solace in it.

l had sealed my eyes shut trying to block out the overwhelming number of faces and eyes on me. When I opened them and looked up again, another guy with short salt and pepper hair, a scruffy beard and mustache, and sleepy looking eyes steps into the ring. I assume he’s Q. He kneels down next to Joe and in front of me. They start talking to each other and I can’t quite make out what they’re saying, but they both occasionally look over to me so I assume Joe is filling him in on my unfortunate circumstance. Once they’re done talking, they both redirect their attention back to me.

“It’s okay, he was a firefighter, he knows how to help.”

“Hey, not trying to be a wise ass but you’re having an anxiety attack right now. What we need to try first is steady your breathing, okay? Take in a slow deep breath through your nostrils, hold it for a couple of seconds, then slowly exhale through your mouth. Let’s do it together.” He removes his jacket and places it on me as he speaks in a calm tone, his eyes never leaving mine. He begins the exercise and I follow as he does, I felt tension inside me slowly begin to release. Joe never left my side through the whole process, he speaks calmly repeating over and over “steady, steady. you’re doing great.” and other sweet messages as he lightly rubs up and down my back providing father like comfort to me.

“Okay, now that you’re breathing is a little more steady, let’s get you grounded. Tell me some of your favorite things, anything. A place, colors, flowers, just keep going okay. It’ll help distract your mind.” I nod as I was finally able to catch my breath.

“Carnations are my favorite flower... I love spring time... Royal blue is my favorite color with lavender being right under it... My favorite animal is a jellyfish because they look pretty...” I continue listing things and it helps take my mind off of everything that just happened as I try and think of the next thing to add to my list. Soon the sense of panic that was pounding in my chest eased away. The moment I feel 100% better again, I finish off my list. Q smiles to me and so does Joe.

“You did great. Are you feeling well enough to get back up on your feet?” He outstretches his hand and I take his hand. He lifts me back up to my feet and he walks me over to the bar. Everyone else around us went about their business as though I didn’t freak out at all. “Maybe stay away from alcohol for the rest of the night, stick to water. Sal! A water for the pretty lady!” Joe slides a small stack of napkins to me.

“I’m not trying to be rude sweetie, you just cried a bit and I want you to be able to touch yourself up.” He gives a soft smile. I take the napkins and wipe up underneath my eyes. When I look at the napkins I see all my makeup wiped up on it, most of which was some mascara that seemed to stream off my eyes. Sal places a glass of water in front of me and looks me in my eyes with the same look of concern Joe and Q had given me during my break down.

“Where’d your friends go? You doing okay?” He asked leaning over the bar.

“Don’t know where they are, but I think I made some new ones.” I say smiling to the men that surrounded me. “Thanks for helping me out, I don’t even know what happened.”

“It was the right thing to do, I wasn’t gonna let some random guy harass a woman who was clearly not comfortable with him. I’d be pissed if someone did that to my wife or daughter.” Joe says with a slight twinge of anger in that last sentence.

“You needed help, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. We all need a little help sometimes.” Q says raising his own glass of water to his statement. I smile and awkwardly chuckle as I raise my glass with him.

The rest of my night was spent with Joe, Q, and Sal (when he wasn’t serving drinks). We talked the whole night away about why I ended up on a trip to New York, I talked about my home town and they talked about Staten Island being theirs, and childhood stories and tales from adulthood were shared as well. It was simple, sober, clean fun. It was all I really wanted from tonight.

Joe eventually left to go home, I bid him farewell and gave him a great big hug. Q and I were left at the bar to continue chatting away, and I gotta say, he was really charming and dare I say kind of cute. We laughed together for what felt like forever and I didn’t want it to end. To think, just an hour or so ago, I just wanted to be in the hotel bed watching shitty movies by myself. All good things must come to an end though, as it started getting a little late, my eyes grew a bit heavy. It eventually became too much to ignore and it wasn’t in my agenda to fall asleep in a bar I just had an anxiety attack in.

“I think I should head back to my hotel room and call it a night. That anxiety attack really wiped me out.” I let out a small yawn.

“Let me drive you back then, I don’t want you taking a cab alone or walking the streets this late at night.”

“You’re not like an axe murderer are you?” I joke with him.

“No I am not. I’m too stupid to get away with murder anyway.” He retorts back.

“Well I just don’t want you going out of your way...” I felt bad, I had burdened him enough with having to deal with my anxiety debacle.

“It’s no problem, let’s get you the hell out of here.” We both say our good bye’s too Sal and head out to find Q’s car. We finally stumble upon the cherry red jeep and I feel surprised to see it. “Are you judging my vehicle choice?” He cocks his eyebrows and smiles.

“It’s just such a loud color for such a seemingly calm and soft guy.” I tease. We hop in and headed out on the road. It was a short ride but it also felt long because of how tired I was. I leaned against the frame of the window, resting my head feeling the sleepiness slowly starting to take more and more control. Q tried helping me out by blasting some up beat music and giving me a special performance by singing along to all the tracks. He was just too cute.

When we reached the hotel, he parked the car and hopped out with me and took his time to walk me all the way back to my room. It’s small gestures that mean the world to me and that show that someone cares, and Q was clearly someone who cares. It felt crazy and in my head all I wanted to spend more time with him. We reach the front of my door and I turn to him and smile as I rub the sleep from my eyes trying to stay coherent for just a little longer.

“I can’t thank you enough for tonight.” I say bashfully as I hug my arms around my body. It was then I remembered something: “Oh my god, i’m sorry I still have your jacket!” I start frantically removing it but he stops me.

“Keep it for now, gives me an excuse to see you again. Which, speaking of...” He brings his phone out from his pocket and hands it to me. “If you don’t mind, i’d love to get to talk to you more and maybe see you again while you’re here. I had a great time tonight.” I gladly take his phone and input all my information. I see as he watches with a big grin on his face. I hand him back his phone and unlock my room door.

“Thank you again, Q.” I say softly. I caress his face and bring it in placing a tiny kiss on his cheek.

“Not even on the lips?” He jokes.

“Give’s you something to look forward to.” I wink at him and I see his face tint pink. “Get home safely.” I say as I begin to retreat into the room.

“I’ll message you tomorrow. Good night!” We both smile to each other and I head inside. I cover my face with my hands, smiling into them as my heart explodes with joy. I throw myself onto the bed and stare at the ceiling as fireworks go off in my head. For such a shitty night, it was the best i’ve had in a while.

#brian quinn #impractical jokers #joe gatto #sal vulcano #x reader #suki writes #request #fluff

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roadkillevokingemotion · 7 years

Text

Get to know me uncomfortably well

Heeey I filled out one of those Myspace Survey things for the first time in like, forever~

1. What is you middle name? Pffff

2. How old are you? over 230000 hours :O

3. What is your birthday? Jan. 13

4. What is your zodiac sign? Capricorn~

5. What is your favorite color? black

6. What's your lucky number? seven

7. Do you have any pets? yeees

8. Where are you from? THE INTERNET

9. How tall are you? short

10. What shoe size are you? same as my girlfriend half the time

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? too many

12. What was your last dream about? I don't quite recall, probably like, wandering in/around a school/town. Not alone though :D

13. What talents do you have? Art'n'smarts

14. Are you psychic in any way? I don't know, and I don't know if I believe in traditional psychic phenomena

15. Favorite song? At the moment, Run Away With Me by Chaos Chaos

16. Favorite movie? Hmmm Silence of the Lambs is up there.

17. Who would be your ideal partner? A gopher in a ball gown.

18. Do you want children? Not yet.

19. Do you want a church wedding? Fuck nooooo

20. Are you religious? Not really, no

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yap

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Nyap

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Not really X3

24. Baths or showers? Yes. Both.

25. What color socks are you wearing? Not any. But probably grey ones, when my feet get cold. Right about now.

26. Have you ever been famous? No, and I'd rather avoid it thanks <3

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? OMG MAYBE I AM PSYCHIC

28. What type of music do you like? Too many kinds to list :o

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Yas :D I love it

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Like 6-8

31. What position do you usually sleep in? On my side/back

32. How big is your house? It's not "my" house but my home is 1900 sq ft? Biggest home I've lived in :O

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Coffee~

34. Have you ever fired a gun? Yas!

35. Have you ever tried archery? Yas :D I have a 25 lb recurve bow

36. Favorite clean word? cremains

37. Favorite swear word? fuck / cunt / slit wizard

38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep? pushin' 32, my kung fu is weak

39. Do you have any scars? o yah

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? lol I don't know, they were a secret

41. Are you a good liar? So/so.

42. Are you a good judge of character? Yeah, but people are always a puzzle.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Haha, kind of, not really :D

44. Do you have a strong accent? Not that I know of, but I can't tell XD

45. What is your favorite accent? I don't particularly have one :D I do love accents and language though

46. What is your personality type? "quirky"

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? :O I dunno! probably my strap on, when the kit's all together, hurhur

48. Can you curl your tongue? ayuh

49. Are you an innie or an outie? innie

50. Left or right handed? roight

51. Are you scared of spiders? not generally but I've been known to startle easy, spiders or no

52. Favorite food? mmmm yes. coffee. I don't know. fried food.

53. Favorite foreign food? Sushi, when I can eat it, I can't have soy! Or a nice curry, I love Thai~

54. Are you a clean or messy person? Half way in between :D I've gotten so much tidier as an adult, but it still gets away from me if I don't focus on it

55. Most used phrase? WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB. (No, idk. Probably "But what do I know?")

56. Most used word? "but"

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Anywhere from 5 to 45 minutes.

58. Do you have much of an ego? Fuck that's a hard question, 'cause even if I say "nah, not like I used to," is that not my ego speaking anyway? Ha

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Bit of both, more bitey I guess

60. Do you talk to yourself? Sometimes!

61. Do you sing to yourself? Oh yeah.

62. Are you a good singer? I'm okay :D

63. Biggest Fear? Losing my loved ones, losing my hope <3

64. Are you a gossip? A bit! "I'm extremely judgemental, I just don't hold it against anyone."

65. Best dramatic movie you've seen? Ooh, dang. Uhh. Silence of the Lambs? lol

66. Do you like long or short hair? All :D

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Yes! Will I? No!

68. Favorite school subject? Creative Writing :D

69. Extrovert or Introvert? I guess I'm that stupid "ambivert" middle ground thing. Being around people only recharges me if it's stimulating, which is rare. Otherwise, it exhausts me and I have to spend a lot of time alone recharging and realigning myself.

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Noooo that sounds so cool though!

71. What makes you nervous? Being unable to find/understand another person's motivations.

72. Are you scared of the dark? Nah :) Not anymore.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Sometimes :) Generally only if they've asked me to.

74. Are you ticklish? >:( NO AND DON'T TRY IT

75. Have you ever started a rumor? Haha, not intentionally XD

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Sort of :) Assistant manager under an incompetent boss meant carrying their job.

77. Have you ever drank underage? O yah.

78. Have you ever done drugs? *looks up from doing drugs, coughs* ...what?

79. Who was your first real crush? First REAL crush was whatshisface. I had that for a long time.

80. How many piercings do you have? Hmmmm, technically eight, but one has closed up. Two in each ear lobe, one in each nipple, septum, and closed vertical labret. I could probably open it again if I tried.

81. Can you roll your Rs? If my mouth isn't too dry XD

82. How fast can you type? Roughly 100 wpm.

83. How fast can you run? Not very fast 8D

84. What color is your hair? Currently, kinda blonde brown. Gonna dye it black soon.

85. What color is your eyes? Hazel-y.

86. What are you allergic to? Not allergic, but digestively intolerant to soy and cow's milk.

87. Do you keep a journal? Nah, but maybe I should.

88. What do your parents do? One of them is not alive and the other one is homeless afaik?

89. Do you like your age? 27? It's pretty cool. I like the 7 part. It's just occurred to me that I'm almost 30, but that's not really bothersome, just weird.

90. What makes you angry? The weirdest things. When I'm hungry/tired, EVERYTHING. Otherwise, cat food science, bad coffee, and whiners.

91. Do you like your own name? The one I gave myself, yes. The one I was born with is weird and can go away.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? I think Anton is a really pretty boy's name. And I had a great grandmother named Celestine.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? It doesn't matter to me :)

94. What are you strengths? I'm really resilient, and have hard lines for how I'm treated by others. I'm funny and fun to be around.

95. What are your weaknesses? I'm not always strong on my boundaries when I care about others, and can give too much of my energy caring about them without focusing on myself. Sometimes I can be moody or cold when I'm realigning my priorities.

96. How did you get your name? I named myself Cat because I am such a cat. Not in a weird otherkin way, just that calling myself Cat allows me to embrace the parts of myself that I once considered hard to love: my finickyness, my occasional resistence to physical touch, and my random bursts of creative excitement about playing with dead things. My last name, Waisenkind, roughly means "orphan" in German. It's a sad word, but I like how it sounds like "wise and kind," which are attributes I strive to embody.

97. Were your ancestors royalty? Haha, who knows? Who cares? Inbred strangers!

98. Do you have any scars? Quite a few :)

99. Color of your bedspread? I have more blankets than pillows. Maroon/gold/grey/purple?

100. Color of your room? The walls are white, but the curtains/headboard are maroon :)

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