#I AM CAUSING CRITICAL DAMAGE TO MYSELF!!!!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thorniest-rose · 4 months

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Hi everyone,

A lot’s happened over the last few days and I know that I’ve been under a lot of scrutiny and the subject of conversation, so I wanted to take a moment to talk about it with you. I didn't address it last week when I was told that people in the fandom were posting about me and sharing screenshots of my blog. This was to protect my mental health, but now I want to share my own thoughts.

It's really hard not to lash out in situations like this because of how much it hurts. To go through something like this is shocking and humiliating, it rips the ground up from under your feet. But I didn't want to go on the attack because I knew how much worse that would make things. No matter how opinionated I am, conflict makes me feel sick and makes me want to hide. So instead of lashing out, I've done a lot of thinking over the past few days, not just about what's happened to me, but about things I've done and what could have led to this.

Firstly, I want to apologise to everyone whose feelings I may have hurt when I posted certain things in the past. I want any space that I cultivate to be a happy, positive one for the people who spend time here and at times I think I’ve unintentionally created an atmosphere that has felt combative or alienating. I honestly never consider myself to be a well-known writer or someone whose voice has reach in the wider fandom. No matter how many followers I have or how many people read my fics, I always see myself as a girl just spending time on her tumblr, but that's naive and I should have recognised that in a shared space, all opinions are seen and have an impact.

Discourse is my least favourite thing about interacting in fandom and there have been times where I’ve let myself be drawn into it. That doesn’t mean it’s ever okay to look down on what other people enjoy and I really regret posting those things now because that’s not who I am as a person. Expressing displeasure and other negative feelings isn’t what I want to engage in and I should remember how easy it is for flippant, spur of the moment comments to be taken out of context. Saying things like “I don’t like this” even on my own blog is immature and beneath me and I’m genuinely sorry.

I am also in no way any sort of authority on how these characters are written, no one is. A fandom is for everyone. I’m passionate and vocal in my own space because I treat my tumblr as a slumber party with my friends, but in my enthusiasm, there have been times where it seems like I’m saying my characterisations are the only valid ones. I don’t think that’s the case at all, and I genuinely love and admire the creativity in this fandom. I’ve said this before, but just because I have preferences doesn’t mean I want every characterisation to be the same as mine because that would become extremely dull. I believe that any and all interpretations should have an audience.

However, while I take responsibility for the things I've said on my blog, the things that have been said about me in response have been extremely spiteful and damaging. I never wanted a war with anyone. I should know better than to court discourse in such a volatile fandom, even inadvertently. To take issue with me and what I said is fine, I accept the criticism and apologise; at times my comments have been juvenile and mean-spirited. But a group of people targeting me, screenshotting my posts, calling me names and attacking what I write isn’t proportionate at all and encourages a wider pack mentality. I think we should all remember that there is an actual person behind the screen reading the things that we post and that our words can cause real harm. It’s easy to dehumanise an avatar and a username. And I think it speaks to a rot at the heart of fandoms that so many people find pleasure in fighting and where feelings can fester into hatred and vitriol.

I am outspoken and passionate about what I love. I sometimes bristle at things I see that don’t gel with my ideas or at a misjudged tone, and I post about them instead of seeing the bigger picture and moving on. It’s a flaw and something I’m working on, to be more open and less reactive. I don’t want fighting or tension, and I don’t want rivalries. I also don’t ever want to make people feel like their characterisations are wrong/invalid/unworthy or that they themselves don’t belong and that I’m some kind of fandom queen bee trying to ice them out. While that’s genuinely never been my intention, I can see how things have been taken that way and I’m sorry for that too.

Again, I’m sorry to everyone I’ve hurt or alienated with comments that I’ve made. I always want to be kind and compassionate. And while I don’t think what’s happened over the past few days is OK, I can see the bigger picture and why things I’ve said, or the atmosphere I’ve cultivated, has planted seeds of resentment. I've also unblocked the person who's been posting about me, if they want to reach out to talk privately.

I know there are people reading this who have been following me for the past four years, and in that time have seen me struggle, and fall down, and make mistakes, but hopefully grow and learn from those mistakes too. I’m so grateful to you all.

I’m going to take a break from tumblr for a week or so, to spend time away from socials, to connect with friends and other passions and focus on self-care. And to write, of course, because I’ll always be writing, whether it’s here or elsewhere.

See you all soon,

Brooke 💕

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kali-chaotic-neutral · 3 months

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Advice

Pick a cat and get some much needed advice

This will include:

~Advice you might need ~Something you have to hear ~Insight on something

Disclaimer: this is just for entertainment purposes, and as a pick-a-card reading it may not resonate for everyone. Take what you resonate with, leave what you don't.

Please do not hesitate to suggest a few PAC reading topics as I am struggling with these type of posts.

Cat 1:

I feel as though you may be in a sort of identity crisis. Maybe you're going through a time of major change, and it is causing some crisis of sorts. You're worldview has been shaken and you're brain chemistry has been altered dramatically. Additionally, this could be some drastic change in your spirituality or maybe you're leaving a religion for another or just leaving religion entirely and being hounded by your community for doing so. I know it's stressful, I know you're probably extremely critical of yourself, picking and panicking over every little mistake you make. I want you to take a deep breath and know that this isn't the end of the world. Take the energy you use to criticise yourself to maybe journal, do some shadow work or gratitude journalling. You don't have to write paragraphs after paragraphs. Even one bullet point can make a difference. Let out your thoughts on paper so you don't end up blowing up on someone. and regretting it. Let it out, clear your head and do some damage control before evaluating what steps you have to take to get yourself out of this pit.

Try to reconnect with your inner child, let that child within you have their moment. Do something simple and childish, colour a book, draw. Do something you've always wanted to do, surround yourself with people you love and your friends, let them help you. Trust that those who care about you have your back. Do not let this temporary setback make you lose sight of what you want. This stressful and dark time you are going through is coming to an end. The only reason this moment seems endless to you, is because it is YOU that is unintentionally dragging this moment. Maybe you're stretching on an argument, or clinging onto a grudge, or just simply holding onto bad habits. You are hurting yourself at this point, and there is no one else to blame but yourself. Accept this pain, let go of this grudge or actually try to stop repeating bad habits. And it's not easy. I have a smoking habit myself, but I am taking steps. I haven't smoked for a month now and it has taken too many failed attempts for me to get here. Do not prolong this situation, because when you fall it will hurt even more. Try stepping out of your comfort zone, baby steps is perfectly fine. For me, getting out of my comfort zone meant wearing more form fitting outfits. I started with crop tops and a jacket over, then moved onto just crop tops and jeans. Then only recently have I gotten the confidence to get out of the house in flared leggings. Very simple, yet so effective in telling you: "Hey, it's okay. See, You're fine. You look so beautiful when you're confidently wearing what you want.". Everyone's journey is different, take your time, but taking the steps is what matters.

Cat 2:

There is someone (or was someone) in your life that absolutely changed your life for the best, someone that was there for you in your hardest time. You might be feeling a bit guilty in the sense that they are always there for you, that whatever you give them (or want to give them) seems inadequate, or maybe this person is not in your life anymore and you feel guilt for not expressing your gratitude while they were there. The guilt is weighing you down, and might be leading to insecurities as well. Just know that even a simple acknowledgement and thanks is a gift, while not the most extravagant, it does hold meaning. Open your heart, let them know how grateful you are. And if you struggle with this, a small simple, meaningful gift will always send the message. A gift is a gift, it's the thought that matters. Let this person know, that you appreciate them for more than the comfort they bring you. And if they aren't in your life anymore and it feels like it's too late, it can be as simple as a journal entry addressed to this person. Pour out your heart and write the letter as though you would send it to them if they were present. Or maybe you went through a rocky split up (romantic, platonic) and you want to reach out but you're unsure whether or not you should. Give it a shot. If the other person doesn't respond or responds very harshly, let it go. At least you tried. Or maybe things just fell apart. Me and a few of my high school friends went to different colleges and just stopped chatting with each other. And even now, it's so awkward to try and chat with them, but also so awkward to unfollow them.

Take some time off if you can, maybe during a special occasion. If you're celebrating something with this person, let it be more intimate. Maybe with close friends/family or even just you and this person. Make time for this person, like they do for you. Or maybe it's a day that reminds you of them, honour them by doing something they enjoyed. One thing my grandmother enjoyed doing when she was alive was travelling to sacred, religious places where I live. Every year, my family and I go to these places, pray for her and have fun because she would have wanted that for us. If you've had a split up with this person with so many unsaid things, reach out. Get your closure, clear the air of misunderstandings if there are. If it's with someone you've gradually lost touch with and the awkwardness has stopped you from reaching out. Don't. Reply to their story, send them messages or posts online. let them know that you want to rekindle the friendship. Let them know, that you are also wanting to have this relationship (platonic, romantic). I've said to try and rekindle the relationships/reach out so many times and here I am saying it again: MEND THE RELATIONSHIP!!! BUILD BACK THE FUCKING BRIDGE! Forgive them, but also most importantly, forgive YOURSELF!! It's normal being hard on yourself. This however, what you're saying/doing to yourself is not it bbg. You need love right now, sweet summer child, not criticism. Put your inner critic on the back seat, let your inner healer take control. Do some self care. Face masks, spa, massage, manicure/pedicure. Take care of yourself.

Cat 3:

You're in a crisis. You have conflicting emotions that are fluctuating so fast it's giving you whiplash. Maybe you're facing a choice where you have to leave what you have known. Maybe you're home for further studies or maybe you're planning on moving homes or cutting off contact with family or friends you've known for a long time. It's difficult, because you are potentially leaving what you've always known, what your comfortable with/or people who you've known for a long time. There will always be people who will not support your decision, especially if you're cutting off contact with close family members or friends who you used to always be with. This crisis/conflicting emotions are more so due to you not wanting to deal with criticism from people you've grown up with and less to do with whether you want to do it or not. Because you do. You know it is what you want, but the potential of people's reaction is what's stopping you. If you always walk on eggshells when making decisions, to appease the people around you, you won't make it far. Stop caring about the opinion of people who don't have your best interests at heart.

Maybe what you are pursuing (If it is further studies/a job) is something that you've always wanted to pursue but have been discouraged to do so because it: "Won't put a roof over your hear head and feed you". A creative job/study. Art, music, dance, literally anything that requires creativity. Don't let these people have you give up on your dreams and instead have you slave away at a stressful office job/"prestigious" job. Don't be afraid to splurge on yourself once in a while. Treat yourself to a nice dinner in a fancy restaurant, or buy yourself something you've always wanted. Or even simpler, take a self care day. Take your time bathing, put on a face mask, dress yourself up (even if it is just to go get groceries) If you want to see change, you must initiate it. Don't be a sheep that follows people around mindlessly, take control/the reins if you have to. Assert yourself. Let your opinions stand out, true and strong.

Cat 4:

You're stretching out something tense, maybe an argument, maybe something that really angered you. And i'm not saying that you're anger is not justified. It is, what's not justified is how you're dragging this out. Blowing this situation out of proportion, making a mountain out a molehill. You are getting on the defensive, feeling the strong urge to prove that you are correct or that you didn't do something (or perhaps did) But at this point you're arguing at the wall honey. Know when to stop your battles, get yourself in check before the universe slaps you in the face. The other party has already dropped out, not wanting to spend their time arguing an age old issue. Come to terms with what happened, and try to calmly speak your mind. If you can't, journal it. let it go.

This conflict has you shaken and feeling unsure. What I'm getting is to make sure you're not biased, make sure to listen to the other person's side as well. Just listen and make your decision then. Because if you make a decision right now, it will only be more chaotic. Don't make a decision yet, wait, give yourself some space to clear your head because you're mind is not in the right space to make important decisions right now. Maybe this conflict is between you and a friend or a sibling/family member. I'm feeling that this conflict could be solved if you were to communicate, but there is such a clear lack of it that I am quite speechless. Talk things out, calmly and clearly, let them know how they hurt you and let them apologize/talk as well. Forgive if you can. Enforce boundaries with this person, maybe they overstepped despite your warnings and it was what caused this conflict. Remember, forgiving is good but it's not necessary to heal. If this person has been constantly overstepping your boundaries, firmly set them and cut off contact if you must. Or just be very firm and strict with your boundaries, you might have a habit of caving in to this person walking all over you. Not anymore.

#pac tarot #tarot pac #free tarot #free tarot reading #tarot community #tarot spreads #tarot cards #tarot reading #tarotblr #witchy #pac reading #pick a photo #pagan witch #witchblr #baby witch #witchy vibes #witchcraft

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thecreaturecodex · 5 months

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Ranna

"Slaadi" © Wizards of the Coast, by Sam Wood

[New Year, New Monsters! I am feeling much less burnt out than I was for the back half of 2023, and have built up a small backlog of new writing. I'm going to keep monsters I post to 2/week for now, to give myself time to go through said backlog in case the burnout rears up again when I'm back to work.

So for my first trick, is a monster NPC I actually wrote back in like September, but didn't post. Consider her an epilogue to the whole "Monster Girl Summer" thing. Ranna is @strawberry-crocodile's character, and fits with some of my other monstrous NPCs. She's Doctor Shiny's main minion, and their relationship serves as sort of a nasty counterpart to Gigi and Priscilla's. Of course, if you just want to use the stat block as a particularly burly slaad enforcer type, that works just as well as Ranna's baroque and macabre backstory.]

Ranna CR 18 CE Aberration This blue, frog-like humanoid has a triangular fanged snout, warty skin and enormous claws growing from the backs of their hands. A red gemstone is embedded in their skull, right between the eyes.

Marina Rhynne was an alchemy student at Endirion School in Absalom, prone to anxiety and to thinking with her stomach. She caught the eye of Doctor Agatha Shiny, who used the pretext of a dinner invitation and offer of a graduate program to abduct her and implant her with an alchemically treated red slaad egg. Doctor Shiny succeeded in one of her goals, which was to cause memories to be passed from the host to the parasite, but failed in that the resultant blue slaad did not maintain the intelligence of her progenitor. The resultant slaad, named Ranna, could recall her previous life in a hazy, dream-like way, but the predominant personality trait that was carried over was hunger.

Ranna is now Doctor Shiny’s Number One Minion, her assassin, procurer and lover. If Doctor Shiny needs someone eliminated or an unusual creature captured and brought to her, Ranna is the one to do it. She usually tracks her targets as an unassuming humanoid until she can set up an ambush and remove her greater hat of disguise. Ranna fights with her natural weapons almost exclusively, although she does occasionally toy with targets by battering them with heavy objects hurled by telekinesis. Although she is lapdog-loyal to Doctor Shiny and always follows her instructions for her specified victims, Ranna enjoys collateral damage, which usually involves biting bystanders. She views any red slaadi that are created through chaos phagethe way a proud parent views their children, and is happy to hear of any death and destruction they create.

Ranna’s personality is playful in a cruel way. She sees her progenitor, Marina Rhinne, as a pathetic figure, and has an air of contempt towards academic pursuits in general. She still appears as Rhynne when abroad in Absalom, and is the terror of Endirion School’s faculty, staff and students as Doctor Shiny’s personal assistant. Ranna is happy to play the bad guy so that Doctor Shiny can maintain her impeccable public reputation, and takes matters into her own claws if anyone gets too close to the truth about Doctor Shiny’s goals and activities. Ranna tends to dispose of the evidence of her murders by eating the corpses of her victims. She is also an excellent chef. Doctor Shiny does not eat food that Ranna prepares unless she is very sure of where the meat came from.

Ranna CR 18 XP 153,600 Blue slaad slayer 9 (cutthroat) CE Large aberration (chaotic, slaadi) Init +8; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +19

Defense AC 33, touch 20, flat-footed 24 (-1 size, +8 Dex, +1 dodge, +9 natural, +4 armor, +2 deflection) hp 303 (11d8+9d10+200); fast healing 6 Fort +22, Ref +20, Will +15 Immune mind reading, sonic; Resist acid 10, cold 10, electricity 10, fire 10; SR 19

Offense Speed 30 ft. Melee +3 bite +32 (2d6+16 plus disease), 2 +3 claws +32 (2d6+16/19-20x3) Space 10 ft.; Reach 10 ft. Special Attacks augmented critical, opportune target, rend (2 claws, 2d6+22), sneak attack +3d6, stab and grab, studied target (swift or move action, +2) Spell-like Abilities CL 8th, concentration +11 3/day—hold person (DC 15), passwall, telekinesis (DC 18) 1/day—chaos hammer (DC 17)

Statistics Str 36, Dex 26, Con 30, Int 10, Wis 14, Cha 16 Base Atk +17; CMB +31 (+33 bull rush); CMD 52 Feats Alertness,Awesome Blow, Combat Reflexes, Dodge, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (claw), Improved Natural Attack (bite), Intimidating Prowess, Killing Flourish, Power Attack Skills Acrobatics +20 (+24 in urban environments), Bluff +16, Climb +20, Disable Device +25, Disguise +16, Intimidate +34, Linguistics +4, Perception +19 (+23 vs. traps), Profession (chef) +14, Sense Motive +19, Stealth +21, Survival +15 Languages Common, Slaadi SQ legendary, slayer talents (surprise attack, trapfinding [trap sense +3], stalker, street stalker (Acrobatics) Gear manual of gainful exercise +4 (expended), manual of quickness of action +2 (expended), manual of bodily health +4 (expended), belt of physical perfection +4, bloodstained gloves, greater hat of disguise, soulbound eye, amulet of mighty fists +3, bracers of armor +4, boots of teleportation, cloak of resistance +3, ring of mind shielding, ring of protection +2, potion of fly (x2), potion of displacement, potion of haste, potion of lesser restoration (x2), potion of cure light wounds (x4), masterwork cooking tools, 150 gp

Special Abilities Augmented Critical (Ex) A blue slaad’s claws deal x3 damage on a successful critical hit. Disease (Su) Chaos phage; bite—injury; save Fort DC 25; onset 1 minute; frequency 1/day; effect 1d6 Con damage and 1d6 Cha damage; cure 2 consecutive saves. A creature that is reduced to 0 Con or Cha by chaos phage is immediately transformed into a red slaad. This transformation can only be reversed by a miracle or wish. A Small or Medium humanoid with levels in an arcane spellcasting class instead transforms into a green slaad. The save DC is Constitution based. Legendary (Ex) Ranna’s statistics are built with 25 point buy, and she has the equipment of an 18th level PC. These advantages increase her CR by +1. Opportune Target (Ex) If Ranna can act in the surprise round, she can study a foe as a free action and select them as her studied target. Stab and Grab (Ex) As a swift action, Ranna can attempt a steal combat maneuver against a dead or unconscious foe, or against a studied target that she has successfully confirmed a critical hit against. A dead or unconscious opponent takes a -10 penalty against this maneuver. Street Stalker (Ex) Ranna adds ½ her slayer level to Acrobatics checks made in urban environments.

#ranna #slaad #blue slaad #monster npc #age of monsters #age of monsters spoilers #slayer #doctor shiny #i'm very proud of the puns in both her names #i provided one and strawb provided the other

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wtfisthatfockingthing · 10 months

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Silent harmonies

Context: Y/N is the replacement for Aether. Dewdrop doesn't like this and he always insults her, but Y/N didn't do anything wrong...

Pairing: Dewdrop (Sodo) x Fem!Reader

Warning: None

Length: 3500~ letter

(Ps.: lately I've been reading a lot of dictionaries out of boredom, so if there are words in it that are not used that much in conversation, I apologize)

Dewdrop strummed his guitar absentmindedly, lost in the haunting melodies that drifted through his mind. The Ghost band practice room was filled with tension, an unseen barrier between the two guitarists, Dewdrop and Y/N. Y/N, the rhythm guitarist who had stepped up to fill the void left by Aether's departure, had become the unwilling recipient of Dewdrop's misplaced frustration. Ever since Aether's departure, Dewdrop found himself yearning for the familiar harmonies and connection they once shared. Y/N was an exceptional musician in her own right, but to Dewdrop, her presence was a constant reminder of what was lost. He struggled to accept her as Aether's replacement, and in his pain, he turned to criticism as a means to cope.

Each practice session grew more hostile, each note became an opportunity for Dewdrop to unleash his discontent. He criticized Y/N's every chord, every strum, even when she played flawlessly. His words were shards of ice that pierced through her heart, chipping away at her confidence and leaving her feeling broken. One fateful day, as the piercing remarks echoed in the room, Y/N could no longer bear the weight of Dewdrop's hostility. In a moment of sheer frustration, she slammed her guitar down, her voice trembling with anger. "I've had enough!" - Y/N's voice trembled, her eyes blazing with emotions. "I can't take your constant criticism anymore, Dew! I didn't choose to replace Aether, and I don't deserve this treatment!" - Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes, a mixture of anger, hurt, and a desperate need to escape. Without another word, she turned and fled from the practice room, her footsteps echoing down the empty hallway.

The silence that followed was deafening. Dewdrop stood there, the weight of his own bitter words crashing down upon him. Regret flooded his heart like a tidal wave as the reality of his actions settled in. He had allowed his pain to consume him, blinding him to the damage he was causing. Dewdrop's remorse fueled his determination to mend what he had broken. He searched tirelessly for Y/N, seeking forgiveness and the chance to make amends. It took hours of searching through familiar spots and hidden corners until he finally spotted her, sitting alone on a park bench, silently succumbing to her tears.

Summoning his courage, Dewdrop approached Y/N. His voice was filled with sincerity, a plea for understanding. "Y/N, I am so sorry," - he whispered, kneeling before her. "I let my grief consume me, and I unjustly took it out on you. I know I've hurt you, and I hate myself for it." - Y/N's tear-stained face turned to meet Dewdrop's gaze, a mixture of skepticism and pain lingering in her eyes. "You have no idea how much your words have hurted me," - she replied, her voice strained. "I gave my all to be part of this band, to support you, and yet you treated me with nothing but hostility." - Dewdrop bowed his head, his own tears threatening to escape. "I didn't want to hurt you, you didn't deserve what I did to you." - he apologized, his voice choked with emotion. "I miss Aether, and your presence as the new rhythm guitarist only amplified that pain. But it was never your fault, and I want to make it right." - Y/N's eyes softened slightly, a flicker of hope igniting within. She could sense the sincerity in Dewdrop's voice, the genuine remorse in his eyes. Slowly, she spoke, her voice strained with vulnerability. "If you truly mean what you say, if you're willing to change, then maybe we can find some common ground." Dewdrop nodded, tears now freely flowing down his face. "I promise" he whispered, his voice trembling. "I will work to earn your trust again, to show you the respect you deserve as a musician and as my bandmate." Together, they sat on that bench. In the stillness of the moment, they shared their pain, their fears, and their hopes. It would be a long road to rebuilding the trust that had shattered, but they were willing to take the first step together.

In the days that followed, Dewdrop stayed true to his promise. He replaced criticism with encouragement, sharing his experience and knowledge with Y/N to help her grow. And slowly, the hostility between them melted away, making room for a newfound harmony within their music and their relationship.

#the ghost band #ghost #sodo #sodo ghoul #sodo ghost #dewdrop #dewdrop ghost #dewdrop ghoul #dewdrop x reader #sodo x reader #angst #forgiveness

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not-terezi-pyrope · 6 months

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You can make a sort of consequentialist utilitarian argument of like, "even if the harm enabled by AI isn't caused by AI, and even if AI isn't intrinsically harmful by nature, in our current society AI existing enables harm, and it should not be allowed to exist on that basis".

That's a fairly interesting argument, and probably the most compelling anti-AI argument. I don't think it's one that has really been proven; my objections would be that I very much don't think it has been shown that the long-term impact of AI will be net-harmful, because generally industrialization is net-positive even under capitalism, and that even if it were true I'm not sure that that alone would be sufficient to justify a ban - at least when there are other remedies that might be more feasible or proportionate.

(Banning AI entirely is a complete non-starter, by the way. These technologies exist now and even one person with a decent GPU can utilize at least some of them, there is no world where we don't have to contend with these systems being possible to use going forward).

But what's annoying is that we can't really engage with that argument, the core argument that people really should be having when you get down to their core objections, because instead people are shoveling misinfo and bad philosophy of art/pro-copyright arguments over the top of the discussion in a frantic attempt to "de-legitimize" generative AI, whatever that means, with whatever sticks. This does a lot of splash damage and doesn't even really help them, in the long term, because a lot of what is being said is just... not correct. I wish people would stop going that route, but the instinctive disgust is enough set-in now that it is very hard to get them not to.

I really want to have honest discussions about the way we should legislate and culturally treat AI, from the perspective of immediate real-world ethics. I'm concerned too about short-term automation harms and am willing to be persuaded on how far we should aim to go. But not when the conversation has been transformed into an all-or-nothing mudfest where people just constantly say obviously wrong nonsense. It's really reducing my patience to hear people out on this because they are just unable to detach that stuff from their rhetoric, and press it as though it were the core concern because it gives good quoteables.

I do sometimes worry that that is making me go too hard in favour of AI adoption than I would otherwise. I try to moderate myself on that. But until people turn their focus to worker protections and regulation and automation taxes instead of punishing individuals for making the new Degenerate Art there is no AI-critical banner I am willing to stand beneath right now.

#not-terezi-speaks #ai

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itsclydebitches · 1 year

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Okay so, just to recap:

Ruby drives away Little, which works. That's a classic "I hate myself and am being cruel in order to supposedly protect you, but you'll still follow me out of love anyway" situation.

Neo's semblance has evolved to the point where she can keep multiple, independent copies going at once, all of which have a different veneer, as well as a whole-ass mansion for them to play in. Sure! Why not! We're well past the point of power scaling jumping the shark.

All these copies can talk. I don't care if this is some Ever After magic, Neo is mute! Let her be mute!!

The story straight up forgot what information Neo has. Does she know anything about Ruby and Penny's friendship? Is she aware that Clover died out in the snow? Is mind-reading a part of her semblance now too?

How come everyone else hasn't gotten insane semblance power ups? Jaune must feel so cheated after spending a whole lifetime here...

Ruby defends herself against this horrific onslaught despite JUST being unable to fight against more garden-variety baddies. Is she having a crippling aversion to Crescent Rose or not?

Ruby is physically and psychologically tortured which, while compelling, means that every criticism we're shown is easily dismissed. The question of whether Ruby has caused more harm than good isn't really something to grapple with, it's a horrific lie told by the villain that Ruby needs to be rescued from. It's the Caterpillar situation on steroids and the extreme nature of the scenario just makes the viewer uncomfortable (understandably!), rather than allowing space to acknowledge, "The dead allies she's at times had a hand in getting killed have a point about Ruby's consequence-laden failures."

This includes images of the adults in her life - notably adults that the show has demonized - beating her to a bloody pulp to the point where we're shown rare injuries. Great! Love watching my discourse-laden faves choking a teen against the wall and beating her with a cane /s

This culminates in Ruby slicing "Oscar" in half, the kid who previously underwent torture too. This guy just can't catch a break.

Also love the implication that seeing Oscar cut in half is psychologically damaging, but if the copy had stayed as Ozpin it would have been fine. Or at least far less impactful. Why would Ruby care about her old headmaster who remains a current ally in this fight? Seeing HIM dead, even if it's a fake currently attacking her, just doesn't mean much emotionally.

Little is dead. I mean, they'll probably resurrect them somehow, or reveal that they were just badly injured, but Neo was grinding her heel. The tiny mouse should be a goner.

Yang is pissed at her little sister for having a breakdown after she spent the last two days flirting with her girlfriend instead of acknowledging the horrors they've all been through. Sibling of the year.

Then all of them just STAND THERE while Ruby, injured and lying on the ground, surrounded by enemies, sloooooooowly drinks the clearly messed-up tea. Hey, at least the sisters are even now? Ruby just stood there while Yang fell and Yang just stood there while Ruby killed herself. Great job, girls.

Oh yeah, hey, RT? It's called "themes of suicide," not just "distressing themes." Kudos for having our protagonist make a huge mistake that's FRAMED as a mistake and should have an interesting impact on the story... but warn appropriately for it, yeah?

Why does Neo want Ruby to be remade via the tree instead of just killing her? Idk idk.

Then she immediately goes comatose because apparently killing Ruby was the only thing keeping her going. There's no interest in ruling the Ever After. No temptation to spend all her time with this fake Roman that can, apparently, hold independent conversations with her and generally act like the real Roman did. Like, tell me this isn't a Neo falling hard into her fantasy, content to have "Roman" again in this magical world:

No desire either to go get revenge on Cinder for dropping her here in the first place. Neo is just done now that Ruby has fallen into a root-covered void. 10/10 great character depth.

Love the insanely evil Cat but... what's is their actual goal? Something about curiosity, something about being left by their creators, something about needing a host, something about broken hearts?? This would all be far more compelling to me if I had a better handle on what exactly they wanted.

Preview of next episode: Yang, Weiss, and Blake are totally fine with Ruby's choice. I mean, why wouldn't they be? It's not death! The Paper Pleasers promised! It's her right to go to the tree if that's what she wants and you need to rethink your narrow perspective if you're going to be upset about that choice. This is a totally fine outcome and they can just go find this new, definitely improved Ruby to take back to Remnant. No reason to be sad about it. Right, Jaune? :)))

Oh, and there's only two episodes left to do [gestures] everything.

#rwde #rwby #mymetas

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as8bakwthesage · 1 year

Text

My Experience With Lily Orchard + Fuck Her

Now, if those of you who know me or have been following me for a while will know that I used to be a massive Lily Orchard fan. I used to support her, I defended her, and I was once a member of her patron even.

I’ve heard stories from people, former friends, former fans, about how much of a manipulating and nasty bitch she is. At best, she’s lashed out at fans for drawing innocuous fanart and for bringing up topics in stream that she doesn’t approve of (I’ve been there, I’ve seen it), and at worst she’s a lying abusive cunt who can’t help but make people around her miserable.

And while I’ve not been the subject of Lily’s abuse, I have been witness and bore the blunt of her passive aggressive horseshit, her manipulating situations to make me appear like a cunt for daring to correct her on an opinion of a book she never fucking read, her shamelessly putting me on blast in one of her videos where she insinuated I was stupid for asking a question about LGBT+ rep, for telling me and other fans to stop talking when we tried to defend our positions in chat.

I’ve had to walk on eggshells around her because I feel like every word I say or anything I do will be seen as an attack on her despite me being a fan of hers for literally fucking years and she knows this. I’ve been a fan of hers since I was 15-16 and I’m 22 now. With no other content creator have I felt the need to be so fucking careful of what I say.

And when I sent her an ask telling her that her yelling at others on stream for seemingly no reason was actively triggering me (mind you, in the nicest way possible because I couldn’t hurt Ms. Orchard’s feewings oh nuuuu) she ignored my ask. Do I have proof she saw it? No. Is she a large enough content creator that she receives so much interaction/asks on her tumblr that my ask got swallowed? Also No.

If you’re a Lily Orchard fan, I am not a needless hater, I am not a stalker or a troll or a bigot. I’m a transgender and biromantic/asexual person myself who is Native and actively participates in activities regarding my tribe and culture. I’m white passing like Lily is. I used to be a fan of hers for fuck’s sake and an active one too.

But here’s the thing - she’ll suck you in with her bold commentary and criticisms and some of it is genuinely really thought provoking and interesting. On the outset she has a “no tolerance for abusers” policy and she’s charismatic to an audience of teenagers who were being abused. Fuck, she helped me realise I was being abused and when the Toonkritic shit came out, that slowly started to help me realise I was being groomed by my exe (TheHauntedReader)

I convinced myself for the longest time that just because Lily wrote “Stockholm” that it didn’t mean anything. That all of her weird takes and opinions were just a quirky “haha i did this in my youth and i regret it” moment. But this isn’t 13-year-old me writing weird fanfiction between an adult and a child when I didn’t fucking know any better and was being actively groomed and abused, this was an adult who wrote CP and romanticised it and tried to get away with it and who should have known better!

And once you are a fan of hers, it’s hard not to become emotionally invested, especially if you’ve always seen her behaviour as normal, which I did. A lot of her fans are abuse/trauma survivors and she knows that. So many of us have confided to her that she helped us realise we could be happier and that we could escape. That we were more than our abuse. These are powerful things to talk about.

But she doesn’t care about us. Never has. Never will. She convinced me and has convinced others that us asking her stupid/silly questions is damaging to her. That it’s caused her so much emotional damage and stress that she can justify lashing out and verbally abusing her audience, y’know - the people who gave her a career. By her own admission, she hates us, but expects our support when she’s being harassed??

Girl, fuck off.

But that is just my own experience. I’ve seen some shit in the past couple of days that I can’t unsee and I encourage you all to look into it because it’s such a dark hole that the phrase “stare into the abyss for too long and it stares back” is what I feel like right now.

And I know why I feel like this - I invested energy and money and emotions into this woman and her channel. I’ve supported her. And no, Lily, this is not about me wanting to be your friend. It’s about me asking for some fucking decency as someone you at least know of and at most you know supported you? To not lie and misrepresent what I’ve said and then vaguepost about me?

Have I made mistakes? Yes. But that’s no excuse to berate and yell at people who have only asked stupid questions or fuck, even made goddamn harmless jokes??

Also, if fans/friends of Lily’s are harassing @asunnycoffee you guys are the fucking worst. Don’t fucking attack my friend you raging cunts. I have a couple ideas of who you might be, but I know you won’t air out your dirty laundry with me, Ginger.

You guys are pathetic.

Lily doesn’t care about her fans, she doesn’t care about her friends, and she’s certainly not going to start anytime soon.

#fuck lily orchard #lily orchard #sage writes an essay again #sage rambles

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aita-blorbos · 4 months

Note

(technically a follow-up to aita for using my brother's depression against him in an argument, still fanfic)

AITA for almost killing my sister (again)?

It has been brought to my attention that my brother has posted to this page, and was overwhelmingly voted as the one in the wrong. As the... ugh. victim, per-say, I have to thank you for coming to my defense, even if he had a point. I will give a brief update; he has apologized for his behaviour and given me a bracelet he made out of a beetle's wings as a piece offering. It is... sufficient. I like watching the colours change with the light.

However, with recent developments, I'm beginning to think I did not deserve that apology.

It followed after an abrupt stop to the train I(M), M(F), N(M), and S(NB) were taking to reach our next destination, W(NB). We had discovered a large creature tore up the tracks, leaving us to have to walk on foot. This is a very large inconvenience for our travel group, as aside from my siblings and I, I have also tamed three lizards, and we also have a colony of what is quite likely hundreds of slugcats, including some pups, so it is safe to say we were not thrilled about this discovery.

Well. After a long while of walking, we found the beast that forced us out of the train. Gigantic, towering even above the trees, and very, very aggressive. Despite everyone trying their hardest, we could barely leave a scratch on it because of its plating. We were all convinced most of the group would die.

But I had an idea. For context, when it was just M and I traveling alone with just a few other slugcats with us, we got into a precarious situation which I would rather not think about, so I won't be describing it. We discovered that day that our bodies are capable of emitting electrical shocks. They are very powerful, but stun us. I figured if all four of us electrocuted the beast at the same time, we would be able to get it down... And we did.

The aftermath of the battle is a blur, I was barely conscious. It had begun raining, and everyone began rushing into shelters. Eventually I was safely placed inside one, along with N and S... but M wasn't there. She didn't make it into a shelter, and seeing this, S's slugcat H ran out into the rain to protect her as much as she could. Apparently, she was fighting going inside of the shelter, digging her feet into the ground and thrashing around in a panic. The rain terrifies her. I should have expected it, but I didn't know the rain would be here so soon.

We all assumed she was dead. S was still unconscious for hours after the shelter doors closed. N held onto me and zoned out the whole night. I... well, that's not important.

We ran out to look for M the next day, and found her along with the remains of H. We saw only one flower by them, presumably from H... so we assumed the worst. But then she made a noise. We quickly carried her somewhere safe and now we're trying to figure out what to do regarding her critical condition.

M is alive, but barely conscious. She is not registering anything we say and is suffering from extreme water damage. Furthermore, this will likely cause a significant relapse in her work towards healing from her traumas... and I am entirely responsible for it. It was my suggestion to electrocute the beast, it was me who gave her such an unbearable fear of the rain. I have almost killed my sister for a second time, and while neither N or S will admit it, they have to know it was my fault as well.

M will try to comfort me when she wakes up, I know she will. She wants me to forgive myself for my past actions so that we can move on... I can't do it. I don't know why she can still love me after all that I've done, and continue to do.

I already know the answer to this question, but I feel I should ask for opinions here since N has done so himself. AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

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acorpsecalledcorva · 3 months

Text

Lmfao, so for whatever reason I decided to look at the DID tags on twitter, probably as a form of digital SH and the first post I see on there annoys the fuck out of me

TW for discussion of self harm and self injury

Ok so first thing I see is this

And this is definitely a touchy subject subject for me, I get hyper critical when I see it discussed, especially since some early conversations with my therapist. Even before that discussion though I've always hated the way self harm is discussed even if I couldn't articulate those feelings.

And that's because abstinence as a moral imperative might be the most damaging ideology to ever worm it's way into society.

I mean, even the title of that article "First, Do No Harm, Not Even to Yourself" is soaked in moral judgement, "hurting other people is wrong and bad, right? So why would do a wrong and bad thing to yourself? You wouldn't download a razor blade" and it doesn't even make a proper argument on the moral philosophy of harm, she merely attempts to imply immorality by association. Hurting others is wrong because it violates their autonomy, your liberty to swing your arm ends just where my nose begins, right? It's about consent. In BDSM, a sadist may physically hurt a masochist because they have consented to it being done to them. Similarly, gender affirming care doesn't violate the Hippocratic Oath no matter how strongly a transphobe feels about it because informed consent is given to the treatment. Conversely, genial reconstruction surgeries performed on intersex babies or even infant circumsions should be considered a violation because consent has not and cannot be given.

But how does this apply to self-harm? It's your body, it's your autonomy, you aren't violating shit. Even being in a system no single alter has complete authority over the body, it's still possible to come to a consensus without unanimous agreement because guess what? Making decisions while having conflictual feelings or being in two minds is a perfectly normal human experience.

Am I saying you should self harm? No. Of course not. I'm simply saying that self harm is not an immoral act and I will remove the personhood of anyone that tries to weaponise shame in this way against people who almost certainly feel an incredibly painful and torturous amount of shame and guilt already.

The article is also vaccuously lacking in substance. The author seems to think this 'gotcha' is a sufficient argument but itself, checkmate traumatised liberals, but obviously needs to generate ad revenue through scrolling so offers 8 "new realities" to help reinforce a morally pure and healthy mindset.

1. Feelings are survivable and containable

Uhhh sure, they can be, if you have the right coping mechanisms to deal with them. You can't just tell someone to forgo the coping mechanisms they already have without successfully replacing them with something equally or more effective though. The whole point of dissociation from trauma is because certain feelings ARE deemed to be unsurvivable by the brain, you're not weak minded for thinking so.

2. We have art, reading, distractions, therapist, meds

Yeah no shit, that's not always enough though and you haven't failed if you try them and they don't work, the coping mechanisms have failed, not you.

3. We deserve to feel better

So true! Self harming makes me feel better when emotional distress is overwhelming me, I'm glad we agree

4. We don't need to guarantee pain

You know what guarantees pain? Shaming yourself out of using a coping mechanism without addressing it's root cause, but that's ok because feelings are "survivable" right?

5. We don't have to hurt via self-abuse

I actually don't know what that's supposed to mean, I can hurt myself without hurting myself? I don't have to self harm? I know I don't have to, but I can if it's better to do so than to not

6. Our trauma is over, why continue it?

First of all fuck you, retraumatisation is a very well noted trauma response, but so is shame and guilt so who's really continuing our trauma here?

7. We don't have to stand vigil over pain to honour abused parts

EXACTLY! That's what coping mechanisms are for, hey guess what coping mechanism can be really effective at temporarily relieving emotional pain? I'll give you a hint, it's not reading.

8. We will honour our abused parts with self compassion, understanding, acceptance, and encouragement

Once again so true! I will be compassionate to abused parts, understanding and accepting of the coping mechanisms they choose, while encouraging exploration of healthy alternatives without shaming them if they don't work.

Her website is littered with BuzzFeed style listicles of "25 ways to avoid self injury and prevent self harm" "25 more ways to avoid self injury and prevent self harm" "another 25 even more ways to avoid self injury and prevent self harm" and like, sure, they're all perfectly fine distraction techniques but what really pisses me off about the wording of these is that they're framed as ways to distract yourself from the urge to self harm, as though the urge itself is what's wrong, and not the pain and hurt that the urge is a response to.

Just watch one more movie bro, trust me bro, this next one will be the one that makes the pain go away bro just trust me one more movie bro.

I have wasted so much fucking time hating myself and shaming myself and feeling like a failure for breaking my streak. Torturing myself during some of the most emotionally distraught moments of my life because "it doesn't matter how much pain I'm in I can't give into the urge, I can't do that, no matter what I mustn't ever do that" imagining how much worse I'll feel when I punish myself for being too weak.

Do you know what I do now? I take note of the feeling, give it space and allow it to be present and I make a bargain with myself. I will give myself 2 hours to distract and soothe from the emotional pain that I or another part is experiencing, and if that doesn't work then we'll self harm with no shame or judgement. And you'll never guess what, I haven't even come close to self harming, and that's great! And maybe sometime it won't be enough and that'll be fine too, it'll just mean I really needed to. The parts that want to self harm feel respected and listened to, my hurt and abused parts feel seen because I'm paying attention to them and not fighting with the self harm part and we all get to move through the experience with grace.

8. We will honour our abused parts with self compassion, understanding, acceptance, and encouragement

Fucking damn right I will, in every way I can.

So yeah, that was my first 5 seconds on DID twitter how was your day?

#syscourse #tw s3lf harm #tw sh related #tw sh

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vethbrenatto · 2 years

Note

You might recognise me from my last "WHAT IS HAPPENING" ask and I am here once more, as someone who does not have the attention span for Critical Role by myself, what in the name of god happened to my boy FCG???????

Our good friend Fresh Cut Grass has been hanging in Bassuras, hometown of Ashton and formerly FCG and they've been having some wacky shenanigans like dirt bike racing, finding Fearne's long-lost parents, and uncovering a masked traitor and in the midst of all that, our pal FCG found out from a local shop owner that Dancer, his former creator and BFF, is actually alive!

Like anyone would in that situation, he reached out to contact her only for her to reply in a terrified voice asking what he was doing there and for him not to contact her. This upset poor FCG. A lot. Evil mode activated.

FCG turns on his friends and makes disparaging remarks while attacking (mechanically- FCG's "stress points", a homebrew system Matt and Sam cooked up, cause FCG to snap if he takes too many. He takes points sometimes when he takes damage and otherwise emotionally- the idea is that as he's healing his friends and taking on their emotional and physical baggage, he's worsening his own mental state.) and is immediately almost one-shotted by Laudna who's Also Not Doing Great. Turns out FCG has an evil murder mode, but when they wake up, they don't remember a gosh ding dang thing.

And the one-eyed monster that FCG saw take out his former adventuring party... well, when Ashton found FCG, they did have one eye out of their ocular socket... hmm...

So, there you have it. FCG is likely the murderer of their own adventuring party. Which means one important thing, and is genuinely my favorite part of this- FCG's former party member and owner of his buzzsaw arm was named Pussy. FCG, having killed his party- killed Pussy. This means that FCG is unequivocally, a Pussy slayer.

#ask #badass-magizoologist #i can't remember if i said this last time but i love your url #fcg #cr spoilers

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rwby-encrusted-blog · 10 months

Note

MGE X RWBY

Hellhound Ruby x Automaton Penny x Jaune

Cheshire cat Blake x Yang x Jinko Sienna khan

Kistune-bi Cinder trying to possess Pyrrha(provocative)

Hellhound!Ruby: Man! This tempurate is great! Feels like home!

Penny: *Fans whirring like propellers* Warning; excessive heat increases rate of Power-cell drain and repeated or sustained exposure may cause permanent internal damage.

Jaune: *Placing cups down on the table* Coolant for you, Lemonade for me.

Penny: It is greatly appreciated, Boyfriend Jaune.

Ruby: Pssh. You guys are just soft

Penny: I am actually quite hard

Jaune: We weren't born in Hellfire Ruby. Nor do we have a literal fire in our souls. We die if it gets too hot.

Ruby: I know, I'm just joking around! *Hugs them*

Jaune: HOTHOTOHTOHTHOTHOT-

Penny: WARNING! EXTERNAL TEMPERATURE REACHING CRITICAL LEVELS-

~~~~~

Cheshire!Blake: *Appears* How're you doing?

Yang: I am very tired of walking. Can't you poof us to the store?

Blake: no. I can disappear- *Disappears*

Blake: *Appears on top of a tree* And reappear whenever. It's invisibility, not Teleportation. *Hangs down by her legs* I'd figure you'd have understood that.

Blake: Why don't you get her to help.

Jinko!Sienna: And debase myself by carrying her? if she cannot make her own way to the-

Blake: She'll scratch behind your ears.

Sienna: *picking up Yang and Blake* Then let us be on our way!

~~~~~

Kitsune-bi!Cinder: *Pounding against Pyrrha's chest* C'mon! Let me in!

Pyrrha: No.

Cinder: But I can help you get that guy you like!

Pyrrha: No.

Cinder: Plea-ea-easE! I want a bod- ACK!

Pyrrha: *Throwing salt* No. Go away.

#rwby #jaune arc #ruby rose #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #pyrrha nikos #rwby shitpost #asks and answers #trainer-sean #cinder fall #arculus rose #blake x yang x sienna #yang x blake x sienna #sienna khan

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meraki-yao · 4 months

Note

You don't have to post it if you don't want to, you can also block me or delete it's ok, I just need to vent because this situation is hitting rock bottom and I can't stand how people don't want to see the problem:

In short: there is a video of the q&a where the female producer gets Casey pronouns wrong when talking about them. It's totally ok to point this out and give respect that Casey deserves BUT who was given the main blame? Taylor obviously, despite him also using the right pronouns during the panel, is guilty of not correcting the woman in front of everyone so he's bad again.

But this time we're not talking about that handful of idiot Nick fans, we're talking about the rwrb fandom that says they love him so much but once again for the umpteenth time they threw him under the bus without thinking twice even though he had no fault. And it will be the third time that the same fandom has exaggerated something against him, subsequently causing serious problems ( like racism and homophobia and doxxing which took place in december where everyone then washed their hands of it pretending nothing happened and they did nothing wrong)

And I'm so tired of reading that we just have to ignore that social because that social is the most active and followed and we know Taylor a few days ago saw stuff and posted and today Casey saw and posted a story. That social causes damage and everything they bring there is seen and affects all of them. So no it's not enough to ignore and put our hands over our eyes and just talk about how beautiful the sky is and I'm so tired and sad and heartbroken because every day even unconsciously they make it more and more evident that there isn't the same affection and respect for both, it's not true, one will always be seen with a critical eye "yes you are beautiful, perfect, so sexy, wow how beautiful these photos BUT you are a bit problematic, BUT you should be better than that, BUT you should learn better, oh disappointed but not surprised" and it is obviously always the poc man who has to be better who has to do better even when he does absolutely nothing wrong.

And this comes from the people who say they follow him and love him. It's no longer possible, that man has been attacked every single day for months, now he must also fall into the transphobic category because he didn't correct another person in front of everyone even though HE had used the right pronouns. But do we realize that this shit fucks up your mental health in the long run? But why doesn't anyone realize how serious the situation is? I cannot take it anymore and I feel like I'm screaming into the void and witnessing the moment when everything will get worse and fall apart and then we will be here sad because it didn't have to go that way for him

…Woah.

Jesus Christ what the fuck.

Okay um, here we go. This is a monster of response to write but here I am.

I’m gonna start by saying I am not a direct witness of any of this. I didn’t know about the misgendering issue during the Q&A, I didn’t really notice it when I watched the Q&A myself yesterday. I’m not on twitter and I don’t follow or look at Taylor or Nick’s tags. All insults I seen regarding the boys are either from assholes trying to bother me or from people who want to talk about the phenomena, both in my inbox.

Regarding misgendering Casey:

Firstly I’m gonna state the obvious and say of course it’s a bad thing to misgender someone. Don’t do that

However I will also say this.

In regards to the extent of reaction: it’s not always done in malice. And in this case, I think it’s a genuine slip up, which happens. I had to consciously remind myself to deliberately use the right pronouns after my friend came out to me as non-binary. I had to correct my friend using the wrong pronouns when talking about our mutual non-binary student. It’s not ideal, but it happens. It’s not mean, it’s just careless. And please note that I’m not saying it’s ok to misgender someone, no it’s absolutely not but I also don’t think this case calls for a big reaction. If someone maliciously, deliberately, publicly and repeatedly misgenders someone, that’s problematic, that should be called out by the masses to this extent. This, we should acknowledge, make a note, and move on. I think there’s some cases where the reaction to certain issues are massively disproportional, this is one of them.

In regards to Taylor not correcting Sarah and being targeted for it: Firstly, Taylor didn’t misgender them, Sarah did. Taylor used the right pronouns. In fact when they hung out in New York last August, Taylor used the right pronouns on his Instagram story. Secondly, he might not have picked that up. Thirdly, even if he did, it’s awkward to suddenly cut off a monologue, let alone one from friend or not, is someone on a higher level than you, to correct a mistake that doesn’t directly affect comprehensive. Fourthly, bystanders are encouraged to step into situations, but they’re certainly not obligated to. So placing the blame or putting so much blame on Taylor is ridiculous and unfair.

In regards to Casey’s Instagram story: I understand where the connection comes from but honestly… I think there’s also a possibility that that’s just a post that Casey saw and wanted to share without reference to this issue. They don’t have Twitter, and it’s been several days since the screening. Truthfully, everyone involved seems really friendly with each other, and how this very project is advocating for LGBT rights, I don’t really believe that if they were aware of the misgendering, they wouldn’t apologize to Casey.

So replying to the “You don’t have to post it…” anon, I agree that putting any blame on Taylor is kind of ridiculous in this case, just like what happened in December. I think there’s a portion of “fans” that are fucking around with this and genuinely hurting him, but there might also be a portion of people who have a problematic/complicated perception of this type of situation, and it’s not targeted specifically towards Taylor. Either way I disapprove with what they’re doing, but here’s a hypothesis.

Regarding the damage these stuff causes:

I’ve addressed the insults thrown at Taylor multiple times by now. And I kind of agree with “I hate that there are idiots…” anon that really disgusting insults thrown at Nick tend to be overlooked, it’s not like there’s no Nick haters, there is. But because of the inherent racism, attacks on Taylor are much more obvious. Either way it’s cruel and disgusting and the boys don’t deserve to be thrown insults like that, nor do they deserve to have people enact cruelty in their name. Rarely is anyone deserving of that, and in the case of these two boys who have been proven to kind and wonderful people, it’s definitely wrong.

I’m tired of reading and seeing these bullshit on social media as well, which is why I actively avoid it, but “You don’t have to post it” anon, I definitely understand and share your worries of this fucking up the boys mental health.

But the sad truth is that we can’t decide what he can see and what he can’t. We’re just gonna need to trust him, to believe that he knows how to regulate the exposure of response he gets, that he knows what comments matter and what don’t, that he knows how to take care of his mental health. He actively avoids twitter, so I think he has an idea on what he can engage with an what he shouldn’t. Same goes with Nick, all we can do is believe he knows his mental health and how to regulate it. Meanwhile, those of us who aren’t assholes, we’ll show them all the love we have for him. I think public figures all struggle with this to some extent, so when they stepped into this career, I believe they saw this as a possibility, so they’re prepared to some degree. That doesn’t make any of this okay, but again, ultimately, we’re not people directly in their lives. We can’t do anything else practical.

Ultimately I want to say, be kind, compassionate and considerate. We can’t control what others do, and truth be told when it comes to the majority of the haters, I don’t think calling them out will change anything. They have their mind set. So the best we can do, is manage and control what we say and do, and to some degree, what we see and engage with.

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #rwrb movie #taylor zakhar perez #nicholas galitzine #casey mcquiston #anon ask #answered #oh god this took a lot out of me

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femsolid · 1 year

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Can you tell us about your way into veganism?

I always felt a lot of empathy and love towards animals, most children do, it just never left me. As a kid I saw a documentary about the meat industry, specifically about the exploitation of pigs. I watched how the pigs were alive one second, wondering what the hell was going on, and then dead the very next. It was heartbreaking to me. The nonchalance with which all those lives were ended. They would be standing in line on a moving floor and a machine would pierce their heads one by one, or electrocute their brains, I'm not entirely sure, maybe both. The tools for the killing didn't shock me, it was the fact that they were treated like objects on a processing line. Their eyes would go empty, they would go limp and fall and men would start dismembering them. But some pigs were still alive and moving. It was very surreal, very cold, very heartless. These days they'd call it "humane slaughter". The piglets were manhandled like mere objects too, men would cut off their tails or sterilise them without anaesthetic. The screaming was horrible. I told my dad I didn't want to eat pork anymore and he laughed at me. Then I forgot about all this until, as an adult, I watched a very graphic documentary about all forms of animal exploitation (Earthlings). I cried the whole time and promised myself I'd respect my beliefs and feelings on the matter once I leave my father's home. So when I moved out I became a vegetarian wich I found very easy. You can eat most things in western countries as a vegetarian and you can buy anything that involves the exploitation of animals other than the actual flesh. It was hypoctritical of me. I kept informing myself on what was really done to the animals. I saw the cows skinned alive for our car sits, the sheeps tortured by sadistic men in the wool industry, little lambs dismembered alive, pigs gassed and dying in agony. I also learned about the absolute cruelty of the men who work for this industry, their misogyny as they torture and rape hogs, and the men who drive this industry, who make billions out of death and the destruction of empathy and our environment, men's obsession with the necessity of killing and the virility of eating meat and how much damage it causes our planet and our health. And also the sad fact that the explotiation of animals relies entirely on the exploitation of motherhood and the objectification of the female reproductive system. But that's not even what started my veganism. I became vegan because I have IBS and I was at my wits ends with the pain and the fainting, especially during my periods. I made a journal of what I was eating and realised that I felt ten times better and the horrible intestinal cramps stopped when I didn't eat things that contained milk and eggs. Especially milk. So I actually became vegan because of selfish health reasons. The change felt amazing. Truly a new life for me. I got to experience normal periods for the first time. So by following my political and moral principles I was also making myself healthier, doing my (tiny) part for the environment and resolving my cognitive dissonance. That's a lot of positive. I'm not just opposed to the exploitation of women and girls. I'm opposed to exploitation in itself. The idea that I am superior to others and therefore have the right to exploit someone else never made sense to me. Or the idea that my cruelty is okay because it's part of the natural order of things. Or that it's okay because it makes me feel good. We criticize these very notions when we talk about other issues like misogyny, classism or racism. It's the same logic. I'm trying to be consistent and helpful to myself and others.

#ask #vegan

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in-pursuit-of-happiness-caroline · 6 months

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You don't believe it can happen to you - I didn't either...

...Health problems I have to live with caused by the 8 years I struggled with anorexia and orthorexia[and never believed I was "sick enough" for it to happen to me].

I want to preface this post by saying 2 things; First, this post will talk some about eating disorders, although nothing detailed and I will not ever post numbers or anything more obviously upsetting, I do still want to give that warning so if this topic might upset or cause problems for you, do what is good for you and don't continue reading this. Second, I am not a medical or mental health professional. I have no degrees of any kind so this post, like all my others, is purely my experiences, opinions and what I have learned from my doctors over the years. You've been warned now on to the real content/topic...

The past few weeks there has been these nagging thoughts and feelings of some regrets and anger and sadness about how much of my physical health alone eating disorders took from me. I can't go back to change anything but it is something that makes me angry how deceived and distorted someone who is in the depths of an eating disorder can be. For a little back story I struggled with Orthorexia and anorexia for 8 years. The behaviors & obsessions began when I was only 7 years old and I was diagnosed with Orthorexia at age 8 and given a second diagnosis of anorexia at age 10. I stayed in these disorders until I was 15 & only then did I actively pursue and work for recovery. I'm happy to say I have maintained that recovery and a healthy weight since, however, a lot of damage was already done to my body by the time I was 15 and unfortunately much of it was not reversed so I live with many physical health problems caused by anorexia and Orthorexia.

Like many who struggle with eating disorders I was, at different points, told about and warned of the damage it could do to my body, the possible long term consequences of continuing in my disorders. Also like many who struggle with eating disorders I shrugged off these warnings and facts. In my mind none of it would happen to me because I never saw myself as a "sick enough " orthorexic and anorexic to warrant such complications. Now, were there and are there people struggling with eating disorders whose cases would be called more severe and critical than me - yes of course and that is kind of the point- this idea people who struggle with eating disorders have that they have to be the sickest, skinniest, closest to death's door anorexic or orthorexic or whatever to have long term health problems from it or to deserve help or die from their disease is a complete garbage dumpster fire of lies and bullshit! It's not a competition and comparison will destroy! With an eating disorder it will never be enough until it kills you...you will not win anything ‐ or be smiled on, applauded, or envied for dying so thin. No one who knew you will remember you after your death and speak fondly, joyfully or boast about how sick and thin you were. It will not be a positive, admirable, inspiring, happy legacy you will leave if you die sick because of an eating disorder. Your loved ones will suffer, they will be angry about your sickness, angry that you couldn't believe you were sick enough/warranted help. They will be sad and grief stricken and wonder what they could have done differently. They will blame themselves. It's harsh, morbid and very depressing but it is the truth of the legacy you will leave if your eating disorder kills you because you weren't thin enough, sick enough, and you didn't believe any of it could happen to you. You won't die happy and fulfilled because you are thin and sick, you will die depressed, scared, anxious, tortured, and weak just as you were in the eating disorder that deceived you pushing you to hold on to and continue your behaviors, always promising you will be happy when but continually moving that goal- keeping it out of reach because it's never enough with an eating disorder. It's a lie!

Talking to my doctors, I have learned that a good portion of my heart problems were caused by/at least partially caused by years of starvation, malnutrition and stress from my eating disorders. These heart issues include: my heart murmur, mitral valve prolapse and mitral valve regurgitation(which I had to have heart surgery for last year), bradycardia, and thin heart walls! This accounts for every heart health problem I have besides one...it makes me cringe with regret, anger and sadness just to know that.

Anorexia and Orthorexia also caused the irreversible damage and basically shut down of my reproductive system meaning I am sterile/infertile...can not have children. Because I began struggling with eating disorders so young, becoming sick and emaciated/malnourished so quickly and basically remaining in that state or in a declining state for 8 years I have not ever had a period or menstrual cycle and I will not ever due to the damage to my reproductive system. This also caused problems with my bone density and I have osteopenia (basically the beginning stage of osteoporosis) and eventually that will progress into full osteoporosis. I also have permanent damage to my liver caused by my eating disorders.

I hate that I caused so much of my own health struggles and problems and as a result cause my family worry for my health, my well being, and my future. Not to mention the experiences, relationships, strength, health, life, personality, adventure, discovery, zeal, joy, love, rest, dreams the eating disorders took from me and I can't go back and have them.

I am a dancer. Dance is my biggest passion in life and some day I won't be able to dance anymore because the permanent damage and health problems from my eating disorders will end it. My bones will be too brittle and weak to leap and turn and hold a pose, have correct technique. My heart could get weaker- more stressed in time and I will have dance taken from me. I won't be able to follow that dream, to perform. The consequences of eating disorders reach my entire life and that is and/or can be the reality for anyone with an eating disorder who doesn't believe it will happen to them - who doesn't see themselves as sick enough. I did not see it or believe it either and yet this is my reality.

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