#I can't remember what she said

[h0ney-bee]

Just wanna say that I love all my moots sm but my social skills are lacking an insane amount and maybe I overthink things a little too much so uh I draw for u to make up for it 👁️👁️

#delete later #fr! #I have accepted it ahee so #/pos #it's just! I don't leave the house to talk to people! #also diagnosed with social phobia #or whatever it's called #? #SAD? #I can't remember what she said #practice makes perfect though I suppose :)

[hood-ex]

I once read a book where a character who had just one of everything - one fork, one plate, etc. - because he considered more than that just pointless stuff he'd eventually have to move told another that she made him want to have two plates, and that might be the most Dick and Donna vibes I've ever gotten out of anything not actually about Dick and Donna.

Well now I'm thinking about Dick buying two mugs and keeping one for himself and giving the other to Donna as a gift, but Dick's mug eventually burns along with the rest of Dick's apartment during the Blockbuster fiasco, so then after Donna dies and there's a funeral reception at her apartment, Dick finds the twin mug in Donna's kitchen, and he takes it up to the roof with him and cries.

Teen Titans/Outsiders Secret Files

#god that scene is so strong bc everything diana is saying clearly reflects dick's own thoughts and feelings #he feels responsible. he should've protected her. she was his sister. she was his soulmate. #and it KILLS me like nothing else that the other titans are inside talking to each other and remembering donna #but dick is ALONE and he chooses to be alone #and that isolation is so good in the sense that it reflects dick's belief that he shouldn't be on a team. he shouldn't be with family. #he should be alone because if he's alone then he can't be responsible for anyone else dying #and it's like... #after lilith and donna died--tim asked dick what they should do now #and dick swung away from tim and said ''i don't know. but whatever it is--i think we better do it alone.'' #and fuuuuck. dc doesn't do a lot of things right but they sure as hell did This right #dick's darker/colder demeanor. his self-isolation. and all of it pointing toward lilith and donna's deaths #they made sure we knew that he was like this because of that one terrible day and it makes me insaneee #Dick Grayson #Donna Troy #the bestiiiies #anon

[brynnmclean]

saw a post questioning shipping Senua and Thórgestr and started to reblog it with a tag novel-- felt weird about doing that since this is lengthy and potentially derailing, so making my own post instead. Spitballing under the cut:

First off, any time someone is like, "the real reason people ship this is because they find the dude attractive," this is SO funny to me as someone who doesn't find men attractive IRL and has fiercely loved Senua since I played the first game, like-- actually I find the dynamic between those two characters to be compelling and interesting precisely because of all the baggage between them re: their backgrounds, the rough (put mildly!) beginning of their relationship, all the things they don't talk about, and them finding a common enemy/common ground to work with. The explicit parallels between them stated in-game scratched an itch in my brain. The minute they pointed out the dark rot on his arm, it was like, "oh! hello there! NOW I'm interested in whatever your whole deal is" for me. Also, idk man, I too would follow Senua around after she knocked me into the dirt and then showed me a way to fight the giants that I very much wanted to fight instead of appease.

The idea that Thórgestr was part of the Orkney Raid that killed and mutilated Dillion is VERY interesting food for thought, even if I don't personally have that headcanon (surely there are more viking raiding groups than just the Bjorg). I think the Furies or the Shadow said something similar about Fargrimr (his kin murdered yours, you shouldn't save him, etc.) so I completely get that line of thought, but I think the game left it ambiguous enough that it's up for interpretation. Would I read fic with that premise? Yeah, I'd check that out. Could Senua forgive Thorgestr if his people were involved? Sounds fun to explore.

If (ha, when?) I write fic, I'd have to think more about it especially wrt timelines, like when did the Bjorg start specifically raiding for slaves for giant food sacrifices vs. killing people for resources and wealth? How far off are we from the old gods "dying" and the volcano erupting? Was it indeed a different group of raiders who made a deal with Zynbel, attacked Senua's home, and made the sacrifice at that time to Hela?

At the very least, I think there's a time jump between the end of Hellblade I and the beginning of Hellblade II since Senua wasn't alone on that slave ship and at least one of the (brief) survivors knew her by name. I wouldn't mind exploring that gap of time, too.

In any case I do agree that it would take a VERY long time for Senua to consciously catch feelings for anyone let alone Thorgestr with all their collective baggage. The idea of them having a relationship beyond friendship in the far off future of an AU where he survives is the only one that can make sense in my brain, personally. It would take time! Time they didn't get in the game! But I think there are a lot of different roads that could take, and some of them might be healthier than others. Shipping them certainly isn't forgetting or excusing what happened to Dillion-- or even mutually exclusive from still shipping Senua and Dillion. Or, frankly, also shipping Senua and Astridr, because I can see that ship too.

One of the nice things about all the details Ninja Theory didn't expand upon and that they left that ending so open is that the sky's the limit. I'm VERY interested in seeing fandom tackle this game as we get farther from the initial release.

#kate plays hellblade #senua x thorgestr #a friend did laugh at me recently and say there's always a weird guy i latch onto and i laughed back and said i'm a boy in my brain #i think i've felt that way forever and it's still true. i DO gravitate toward male characters #especially ones who are a bit starry-eyed over their female counterparts #anyway that's not what this post is about #it's more of me throwing thoughts out into the ether because i don't have the energy or time to write fic yet #but i am Thinking About It #what happens after the story left off? what if we changed ONE THING and gave them more time #i stopped using accent marks midway through this sorry i'm typing on a computer. my phone would catch them but alas. #i can't remember my video games tag #senua #thorgestr #hellblade #senua's saga #i'm really just excited to talk fannish things about this one #the first game was so neat and tied up that i felt no fannish inclinations beyond loving the game #but there's SO MUCH ROOM HERE with this second one #delightful #i'll read all the AUs even the sad ones #when it comes to thorgestr and senua i think thorgestr fell first and pretty hard but he doesn't talk about it until senua starts opening u #i really think those two are made for a glacially slow burn #maybe not if she becomes the tyrant seer. loved and feared. #could be quick and very unhealthy. ALSO compelling to me! #senua's saga spoilers #to be safe #these tags are about as long as the post. i'd better quit while i'm ahead. #hertan writing tag

[mixelation]

I think the better question is, how does Minato feel about the shinigami being horny for him

ummmm i think in the moment he considers his gf going "the being of immeasurable power within me ALSO wants you" to be pretty hot. because like. it's coming from tori's mouth and he's into her and he's into power and he's into these two things together. if shinigami!tori wants to manhandle him he will let her. there's also like a 92% chance this is immediately happening after a battle so he's filled with adrenaline and it's very exciting

however i think later he might be like: wait what did you MEAN the shinigami wants my dick

#i think what has to happen is #remember i said when tori dies the shinigami will take other people out of spite #and sometimes it's one person and some times it's many and tori has no control over it so she can't use it near allies #okay. consider. she dies. she's like NOT MINATO at the shinigami #and the shinigami like oh yeah of COURSE not him!!! he's too sexy #asynchronicity #toriverse

[camellcat]

WTFFF I thought thirteen would be my new girl crush love of my life heart eyes wife you-came-after-twelve-you-must-be-better-than-they're-all-saying bbygirl and then I had to sit down and watch as she told a man who (if he were not a murderer, of course) literally every regeneration before her would've LOVED and FULLY SUPPORTED that "the systems aren't the problem. how people use and exploit the system, that's the problem. people like you" </33333 !?!?

#WHERE IS THAT POST THAT SAID NINE WOULD KILL THIRTEEN FOR BEING A CLASS TRAITOR #WHY WOULD YOU SAY “ERODE PEOPLE'S TRUST IN AUTOMATION” ALL WORRIED AND CONCERNED LIKE THAT??? #WHEN DID YOU START LIKING AUTOMATION OVER PEOPLE THINKING AND DOING THINGS FOR THEMSELVES??? #AND WHY ARE YOU TRAVELING WITH A COPPER??? WE HATE COPPERS?????? #did we FORGET into the dalek?? how about how he treated danny?? god there's so much more I can't even remember off the top of my head #(I understand soldiers are different from cops but c'mon don't even PRETEND twelve would've been any nicer if blue or danny were just COPS) #also a bit off topic bUT MAY I JUST TALK ABOUT ARACHNIDS IN THE UK FOR HALF A GODAMNED SECOND— #I know the companions are usually the ones to do the doctor's dirty work here but like #I just can't see the other doctors NOT having the business man lure the spider for being so fuckin annoying about it #like I was genuinely surprised when they had him do that whole song and dance about not doing it and then he actually just. didn't do it #the doctor LOVES fucking with evil rich business men this is PERFECT. plus why not get back at him for being awful to their companions? #absolutely gobsmacked thirteen let him act like that. I am wrong in thinking that the others would've shut his shit down a LOT quicker?? #anyways. I love jodie whittaker and it's just so upsetting to have her doctor do something so wildly off #THIRTEEN PLEASE I HAD SUCH FAITH IN YOUUU I WAS IGNORING THE HATERS AND FOR WHAT #I can SEE the other doctors in her still I can FEEL them they're there she's doing an AMAZING job but. oh my god. what did they make her do #I can't even say she feels ooc as a whole because jodie is bloody brilliant. it's just these... moments. that don't make ANY sense to me... #especially coming off of twelve?? I get the radical personality switch but that belief is a core part of the doctor. or at least I THOUGHT #thirteenth doctor #doctor who #I still love all of you who love her and reading ur posts/fics but I. will not be making any myself. I do not think.

[queenofmalkier]

I can't remember if I've said this or not, but Lan was the only one who would have figured out Moiraine was shielded and not stilled. Full stop.

No one bothered to test because they assumed they already knew the answer already, even Moiraine.

#wheel of time #wheel of time tv series #lan mandragoran #I saw so many people shitting on lan figuring it out but like #do we not remember how everybody treated nynaeve when she tried to do things they said weren't possible? #wheel of time book spoilers #for the tags #lan is the only one who wasn't a channeler #with a vested interest in saving his best friend #and what he saw? #moiraine was strong but she wasn't acting like a stilled sister #there was something wrong about it #and much of his arc was about how he keeps quiet and thinks #because that's how he problem solves when he can't just murder the issue with a sword

[ninemelodies]

such a sucker for characters with memory loss but who end up still being influenced by the memories they've lost

like

donna holding baby rose for the first time and thinking "it's good to be a mother again." and she has to stop and figure out where that came from because she's never been a mother before. all the baby stuff, changing diapers, feeding, how to comfort them, hold them, etc being so easy for donna in a way that isn't typical of first time mothers

rose coming out to her mother as trans and wanting to change her name and donna suggesting "rose" without a second thought and when rose asks why that name, donna can't say. "guess i used to know someone with that name?" is all she can come up with and she thinks she did know a girl named rose, but she can't remember and it's really not all that important because rose is trying out her new name in the mirror and deciding that it's perfect

#doctor who #donna noble #rose temple noble #this was inspired by that post of donna and wilf looking at the stars #where the caption was like 'donna knows the names of all the far off stars but she can't remember where she learned them' #kinda goes hand in hand with my idea that donna 'glitches' sometimes and gets stuck in brain loops like what happened in the tardis #i know y'all all knew exactly who this was about before i even said her name #I Am Nothing If Not Predictable

[little-whats-her-name]

"I can't hear you over the sound of the eight billion glasses and plates clinking, and the very high possibility that I'm going to lose my job, and the fact that everyone at this charity dinner hates me but we have to act nice to each other, and the weird lighting in this room, and these fucking Spanx!" - Katherine Hastings, probably

#she's autistic because i said so #the lighting in the charity dinner is so weird #it's not bad lighting but the spotlights make me think of searchlights #i remember trying on these really firm leggings that my mum has #and my mum was like “remember when you were asking about shapewear because of that show? that's what Spanx feel like.” #and i'm thinking “well that's bullshit; i can see why they made an entire cold open about them; this material is awful.” #also there's a continuity error in that cold open with katherine's sleeves #and it bothers me because when ana posted the scene on her insta; there was no continuity error #but the clips were in a different order in the actual episode #which just goes to show how many times i've watched that cold open #like i love it and i hate it #also wtf were the tight sleeve things for #do people really pay that much attention to women's arms when they're wearing tight dresses? #katherine and ana don't need spanx #and the former shouldn't feel like she needs them #i will die on this very specific hill #that scene in the commercial ep where sadie says something like “women should wear what they're comfortable in” #TELL THAT TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND #on x's insta she said that they were all wearing spanx and could barely breathe #and i'm just thinking about katherine really awkwardly asking dori for help #and dori sending a text to sadie #being like “we will all support katherine. we will all be concerned about her job and be physically uncomfortable together.” #women loving women in a non-gay way #but also in a gay way #sad that i can't tag people in hashtags #because i would love for @harrietdyker to write a fic #american auto #katherine hastings #sadie ryan #dori otis

[lord-squiggletits]

I need to reread the comics again to have specific arguments/evidence for this, but like

I feel a bit like I could've been sympathetic to the way other Cybertronian colonies view Cybertron, if it weren't for the fact that at least several of them (as in, ones that get notable dialogue/screen time) are so low-key self-righteous?

Like, idk... there's a lot of criticism of Cybertronians because they're so "warlike" and how their obsession with violence and vengeance is just dragging the whole galaxy down with them, but uh. The Autobot-Decepticon war was basically a product of societal ills bubbling over for like 6 million years beforehand and then finally boiling over into a 4 million year war that lasted as long as it did because the people involved had immense social/psychological trauma from being "raised" in an oppressive society.

So when the colonists come in being all 'omg you people are so violent and uncivilized why don't you just like, stop fighting' it kind of pissed me off a little bit as a reader/person like. Idk the colonists really came into this society of people full of massive amounts of trauma where even before the war society was super oppressive and no one has any experience of living "normal" lives unaffected by violence and bigotry. And the colonists were like "ummm wow why don't you guys just??? stop fighting???." Like idk it wasn't EVERY SINGLE MOMENT, in fact I think that when it was played for laughs it's quite a funny "fridge horror" type element. It was just annoying because like.... IDK???? It's just really annoying to watch a bunch of people who lived relatively sheltered lives on their own planets come to a different planet full of traumatized people and be like "omg why are you people so fucked up" IDK BRO MAYBE BECAUSE THEIR SOCIETY WAS OPPRESSIVE AND THEY LIVED THROUGH A LIFELONG WAR???

It also doesn't help that the colonies were literally founded based on imperialism and conquest so like, it's fucking rich to hear colonists scolding Cybertronians for their violence ruining the whole galaxy while literally sitting on planets that their Primes colonized from others. The hypocrisy of this is briefly mentioned in Unicron (literally the FINAL STORY OF THE SERIES) but like, that's basically the only time Cybertronian characters are given a reprieve of sympathy from other characters in universe and it's so tiresome.

I've talked to other people who didn't like the colonists and thought they basically (narratively speaking) existed just to shit on the existing characters, and it's actually really easy for me to sympathize with/outright agree with that assessment of the story considering how much of exRID/OP seems to be preoccupied with "Cybertron/the Primes/Optimus sucks" with very few reprieves for anything positive happening and even fewer chances for characters to get to explain themselves and experience a little bit of justice? Like, as the audience, it's just very frustrating to see the characters you spent hundreds of issues keeping up with get shit on by a bunch of "literally-who"s and then not really get a chance to ever defend themselves, either by literally defending themselves in conversation or having some sort of narrative thing happening that vindicates them at least symbolically

#squiggposting #paused work to muse about this which i prolly shouldn't have lol #oh well i'll still get stuff done #like idk an example of this is how pyra criticized OP for using religion to manipulate people #(lets just ignore how she said she would teach OP but never actually did) #but in the story there's never any sort of confrontation where pyra learns about history or talks with OP #and OP gets to be like. yeah on my planet primes fucking sucked and i'm the only one trying to redeem their image #also ive been fighting an endless war that lasted 4 mil years in which me being a shining figurehead was basically #the sole motivating force keeping my army from just collectively succumbing to endless despair #and i also had to use this shining figurehead image i had to keep the opposing army from genociding a bunch of organics #like not once does OP get to express his side of things he's basically just shit upon endlessly by other characters as he keeps doing plot #i feel like i had another example but i can't recall who/what was involved lmao #like idk it's not just that barber's writing is depressing and dark and edgy. i LIKE stories that do that kind of thing #it's just that it feels a bit as if the story is ENDLESSLY depressing and dark and edgy with almost no reprieve #as if it's mostly presenting the flaws of the characters with no chance for them to justify or redeem themselves #idk i feel like there was another better point/example i was gonna make but i can't remember it #like idk i guess a dark depressing story would've been better if the characters at least got to defend themselves #bc as is it basically feels like they (esp OP) get shit on endlessly and never once get to express anything about it #so like. they get shit on in universe. but also as the reader since there's never a contradicting viewpoint or the character defending them #it's as if you're supposed to take this one-sided criticism of them at face value and it just doesn't seem fair AS THE READER #if i read about OP getting shit on by some people and defended by others and also him expressing his opinion on himself #then that just feels like a normal fair narrative where i get to take sides #but if it's just OP being shit on and he hardly expresses much about it #then it feels like i as the reader am expected to agree with the portrayal being shown? #but in reality the portrayal just feels negative and unfair and one sided to me #and why the fuck do i want to read a story that's just the characters i know and like on an endless shame parade #also shout out to 'literally who' aka slide calling OP 'literally fascist' lmao #one of the most cringe moments of the entire comic. wait no. i can think of a more cringe Slide Moment #when unicron is about to destroy the planet and trypticon is getting shot and dying(?) in the background #and the story decides to pause and focus on Slide so she can monologue about how evil and tyrannical OP is

[birdmenmanga]

@raventhekittycat

hi okay so I've been mulling this one over for the past day or two and I think I have the answer. not to be using hamburger to explain anything to an american but you're my detco mutual so I'm going to try and explain it in detco terms

There's a post going around recently about how if you've read detco and only detco, the first time hakuba shows up you're going to be totally flummoxed, because damn this guy is clearly important, he gets to be even cooler than Shinichi, he's got a half-page shot of him (in such a panel-dense series such as Detective Conan, no less!!) and he's got a fucking hawk. he's CLEARLY important. everything about the narrative is indicating that you need to PAY ATTENTION to hakuba and that he's the coolest guy and he's important!!!! and then he dies in the case lol (not for real. but still.)!! and you're like huh??? what was that. why did aoyama do that.

But with the context of magic kaito this totally makes sense. He's a beloved character that people have been waiting decades to see again. Of course Aoyama is going to hype him up!! It's his big moment after years of being locked in the backrooms!!!

Anyways reading birdmen for me was kind of like that. The author's previous series, Kekkaishi, was pretty one-dimensional at the beginning, and even after the main plot started picking up at around volume 6, it still felt quite understandable. I knew what she was trying to get at, and the spectacular job she did with the anthropocene and climate change metaphor towards the end of that series really made me interested in the rest of her works. That and the way she writes familial relationships is absolutely DEVASTATING. (I mean this with the highest of praise)

But when I read BIRDMEN for the first time, I was probably in... middle school, maybe? And I read it, sure, but I didn't get it. I could see what was literally happening on the page but the narrative choices were absolutely baffling at times. Why skip over the entire part of the plot where they figure out who the birdman that saved them was? She blatantly doesn't care about that. What does she care about then?? I knew I didn't get it, I knew there were parts of it that were important and I couldn't figure out why and THAT'S how it dug its pretty little claws into me. Even after I finished catching up it nagged at me a little bit, not often at all, but enough that every once in a while I go, huh, right, that was a thing, let me go read it again.

For the record this type of story haunting has happened to me twice. First time was the Heart of Thomas, second time was BIRDMEN. I think the thing is that these are both stories which are not what other people say they are and I think I came into both of these stories with a misconception, trying to look too hard for things that weren't important and therefore missing the things that were.

Because sure, BIRDMEN is about mental illness. Yeah, it's about an evil scientific organization growing mutants in a lab. Yeah, it's about what it means to leave your humanity behind. That's all technically correct, on a surface level, and the fandom at large likely agrees with these takes for the most part, but in my opinion none of that really delves into what the thematic messaging of the story is about.

There are cryptic conversations about authority and human extinction and peculiar outfit and ability choices. You can tell these choices weren't made to serve the purpose of "writing exciting shonen manga" because that was what she did for the most part in Kekkaishi and you can tell she wasn't putting her whole pussy into doing that here. So what was she doing? What's like. All of this. Waves my hands at this.

The short answer is that it's really about the interplay between capitalism (represented by humanity) and communism (represented by birdmen), and explores the role institutional white supremacy (EDEN) plays in enforcing capitalism. It is ALSO about queer liberation and the importance of community, but hey, that double-stacks conveniently with the communism metaphor.

But also take this opinion of mine with a grain of salt. As far as I know I'm the only one who really truly deeply believes that it is not only AN interpretation of the work, but one that was fully intended by the author.

So basically, I like it, because I think it says something true and beautiful that I also believe in, even if I didn't have the words for it the first time I read it. But I don't really think that's what people really look for in a media recommendation.

Do I like it? Yes, I love it. Will I recommend it to others? Yeah, sure. But do I think it's deeply flawed? Yeah, absolutely. It's flawed in the same ways as The Witch from Mercury— a rushed ending, too many threads that were opened and never tied together. The pacing and characterization is perfect in the beginning, and too rushed at the end. There are prerequisites you basically HAVE to read in order to understand the story (tempest for G-Witch and the communist manifesto for birdmen). I think a truly good story wouldn't have any of these things so if people don't like it I never blame them.

It's my personal experiences that make birdmen so profound to me. If you are not queer I just don't think Eishi coming out as a birdman to his mom will hit the same, just as an example. Sorry that I wasn't the kid you wanted me to be. I know you love me and you just want the best for me and that's why you're so controlling, because you think I can be saved by conforming to societal expectations. But I can't live like that. I can't be like that. And that's why I must go. etc.

Aesthetically I do love birdmen a lot. If I had to describe it in a few words it would probably be "chilling", "beautiful", and "powerful", which nicely coincides with the type of things I personally like to draw. It's also silly to a small degree but it's so serious and I know Tanabe can be way way way funnier (read kekkaishi for this. kekkaishi and hanazakari no kimitachi he were foundational to my sense of sequential art humor) so that's not really the standout trait of this series.

I can't let it go because I'm chewing this series like a bone. And it's taking me years but I am getting that sweet sweet marrow. By god. We are on year 3 of this shit and I am GOING to understand this series. and I'm going to make 3 video essays about it

#just thinking thoughts... #stray bird thoughts #so it's like... I don't like it because birdmen is good #I think I like it because I am a certain type of person and the author was trying to say something specifically to the type of person I am #OH #I'M THE TARGETED AUDIENCE THATS WHY I LIKE IT. #YEAH THATS REALLY IT!!! #A long time ago I said that birdmen wasn't written for the people who read it at the time it serialized. #it was written for the people they would become. #and I stand by that 100% #if it really stays with you there is going to be a reason even if you can't articulate it yet #and it may APPEAR sloppy to someone who doesn't see the queer or communist metaphor #like 'what is she doing what is she saying here she's not saying anything meaningful and emphasizing the wrong things' #but that sort of presumes she is gunning to make 'the best shonen manga ever' #which she clearly isn't. #I remember when I was reading fma with a bunch of my classmates and I'd lend them a volume or two every day #and a piece of feedback I received that has stuck with me was 'volume 15 was so boring' #(that was the volume recounting the ishval civil war. it was boring because we were middle schoolers and didn't REALLY get it.) #and like. I think to people who are looking for something like kks. the whole thing is going to feel like fma volume 15 #like WHAT is she going on about? ? ? #like witch hat and dunmesh I think are similar types of stories but I think these two are just executed way better than bm #but because of that it is just not as compelling to me you know. #like yeah yeah it's well constructed. we all see it's well constructed. #the metaphor is so well constructed that I don't feel the need to point it out. everyone is saying it already you know #but bm is cryptic enough and just slightly missed that execution enough that I feel like I'm pulling the analysis out of a smoking wreckage #recently I've been watching mentourpilot videos about airplane accidents and like. that's exactly it. #there's nothing to say about a perfectly executed flight. #it's the ones that failed. and in particular the ones that just barely failed by a little bit. that compels people the most. #cue my de communism is failure post. bc that bm sure did fail.

[torchickentacos]

Things my middle-aged mother has said that caught me off guard and made me have to pause whatever I was doing and laugh:

Huge if true

Canon

Shrimps is bugs (WHERE DID SHE LEARN THIS ONE????)

Will update as more come in

#reblogs off because she sends me tumblr posts sometimes and I won't risk this specific one taking off lmfao #my sibling and I joke that our mother talks like a twitch streamer sometimes #huge if true was in response to a meme I sent her #canon has a little story behind it #she has this ziploc vacuum sealer for her freezer meals #and I get bad brain fog and can't always remember words #so I called it the food laminator because that's basically what it does #and she said that she's calling it that now and that's its canon name now #and shrimps is bugs was in response to us discussing what seafood is acceptable to add to a country boil #I'm team 'clams/crawfish/shrimp/mussels' and everyone else is team shrimp only. hence her quoting shrimps is bugs out of the blue #I love my mother dearly. She asks me about pride flag discourse so she's certain that she puts up the right one in our yard. #she's more chronically online than I am. I love her

[francesderwent]

Jonathan starts out the story with a very close-knit family unit, a mother and a brother who all love each other deeply but who have already faced a lot of hardship. this leads to him having a very batten-down-the-hatches, circle-the-wagons kind of approach to life. his circle expands (minutely) as the story progresses, to include Nancy and Argyle, but he always has a limited list of people he cares for, and his goal is to protect them. he’ll make sacrifices for them, he’ll shape his life with them in mind. his whole universe shrinks to fit the few people who matter, and everything else fades away—including the possibility that those people could find happiness in the wider world. the world is a threat, something to be guarded against. you can’t take on the world and win, it’s not going to change for the better no matter what you do, you just have to keep your head down and deal with the tragedy of it. he’s seen monsters, he’s known loss. he knows all too well that the picture-perfect happy family is an illusion painted over resentment and cruelty, or even just an illusion painted over the complications that come with loving flawed people. any other outlook is naivety—this is why Jonathan has so little patience for Bob Newby, who is decent but simple, buying into all the things that Jonathan has already seen aren’t unbreakable. and this is why Jonathan walks away from Steve and Nancy kissing in the high school halls in season 2, not out of jealousy, just out of impatience with how juvenile and unrealistic it seems to him. they’re playing into the image of what teenagers are supposed to be and do, the path they’re all meant to be on, and Jonathan doesn’t have any time for that. the image is a lie. the path where you try to fit into the world and put down roots there can only destroy you. when Will feels bombarded, Jonathan doesn’t tell him that he’s going to be happy and people will come to understand him; Jonathan tells Will that he understands him. Jonathan will do absolutely anything to be there for the people he loves; the world will do nothing for them but break them. their happiness, if they find it, is going to have the quality of escape: stepping outside the stifling boundaries of what’s expected and hiding out in a Castle Byers, somewhere they can be safe with the people they love, away from everything that wants to hurt them.

Steve starts out with a couple of merely surface-level friendships and no close family; he’s an only child, he has nowhere to direct his love and devotion, and no one giving that unconditional love to him. he’s already won everything small town high school life has to offer him, reputation and good looks and unsupervised freedom. when all of that is revealed to be vanity of vanities, useless trappings laid on top of an empty cynical life, he too sees monsters and comes to know loss. but his reaction to it is different. in season two, Steve still sees some value in going to a party and wearing the costumes he and Nancy worked hard on. he sincerely misses his girlfriend after an hour, without any cynicism, without needing to appear cool. he’s thinking about getting a job with benefits, so he can be someone to rely on. and as soon as anyone steps into his peripheral vision, Steve loves them. he loves Dustin who orders him around, he loves Robin who makes fun of him, he loves the kids who don’t listen to him, he loves Nancy who broke his heart. his perfect popular ordinary life was empty—so he fills it up with real things, that are still very much real ordinary things. he gives ice cream to the kids and watches movies with Robin, he remembers the song that the carousel horse plays, and through it all he keeps on looking for love and believing in love. the more darkness Steve sees, the more fully he throws himself into the world. it’s after he’s come very near to dying that he tells Nancy his deepest wish is to have a big family and see the world with them—he wants to bring MORE little people into existence and then he wants to introduce them to the whole of the world. he wants to have adventures with them, ordinary people in an extraordinary world, forging through it all together. and then, it’s in the oppressive hell of the upside down, where darkness is literally all around him, that he confesses that the dream is still tied up with her—not some picture-perfect fantasy, but a grounded hope, rooted in his real and abiding love for her, as he really sees her. the world is dark, and wilder and more complicated than it appears. but Steve finds his hope in the most ordinary thing there is: a husband and wife and their children. he is the sane man in a mad world that G.K. Chesteron talks about: the normal boy who becomes the fairy tale hero. 

so what about Nancy? Nancy’s outlook on darkness and the world is very much “ride out and meet them”. she sees evil in the world, and chooses to face it head on, and then, as much as possible, she tries to shoot it in the face. not for nothing does she tell Jonathan in season one when he asks what they should do about the demogorgon, “I want to kill it.” she’s not just being dramatic. she means it. what Nancy most wants, from the moment she discovers the tragedy and violence of life, is to eliminate evil in the world. she wants to kill the demogorgon, she wants to root out the unprincipled men who let it loose and see them punished for the harm they caused, she wants to banish the mind flayer even if she has to chase him out with a hot poker, she wants to set vecna on fire and then pump him full of hot lead.

and so, initially, Jonathan’s perspective seems attractive to her, because he too is aware of precisely the evil that she wants to fight, whereas Steve seems to still be appreciating the shiny surface, the veneer of normalcy and happiness that has ugliness underneath it. “it’s all bullshit,” she tells him. she can’t play the role anymore, she can’t pretend everything is fine when everything that she once knew was poisoned by death. and not only is Jonathan aware of the darkness lurking under reality, his rejection of it is so total that he’s willing to reject the entire world along with it. he so hates the evil that Nancy wants to fight that he will turn away from everything else to hide away with just her and Will. that’s romantic. it is! eros loves to say “you and me against the world”, and the romanticism of that does win out in season two. Nancy picks Jonathan and the escape he offers, picks him because he sees the same world she does. but as the story progresses, we see that their worldviews don’t align perfectly. they’re not in agreement about how to deal with the world. Jonathan wants to get through his internship with a minimum of conflict and go home to his family; Nancy wants to prove herself, change people’s minds, make a lasting difference. Nancy is starting to imagine a life she can build with him, Jonathan can only see what he already has and wants to preserve.

so what we see starting to happen in season four is Steve’s perspective is becoming more and more appealing to Nancy. she’s surprised by that, and I think confused by it. it doesn’t make any sense to her, but suddenly his hopes and dreams don’t sound like bullshit anymore. the picture he paints for her of the life he wants sounds nice, especially because he knows what he’s talking about; he’s been quietly practicing for it, taking care of others younger and weaker than himself, attracting no attention and asking for no reward. it’s not bullshit, it’s not naive—it’s the dream she had before everything fell apart, and now it could be real. and why does Steve’s hope become steadily more and more attractive than Jonathan’s escape? because Jonathan can only retreat, into the safety and solitude of the Byers homestead or into a cloud of smoke. Steve can enter into the world and transform it, light it up from within. Steve can act, and Nancy is a woman of action.

#meta whine and rant #tagging for spoilers: #stranger things s4 #me writing this like: i don't think i have anything to say about nancy except that she wants to fight #which - in fact - IS all I said about nancy #I DO not understand her like I feel I understand the boys #but I think I am correct on that one point #also. do not ask me to explain what jonathan's deal is vis a vis college in s4 #because I do not remember #also catch me putting the g.k. chesterton reference in the body of the post instead of in the tags where it belongs #can't stop won't stop babyyyy #also. like. look at this. #steve is a chesterton hero for SURE #but jonathan IS a taylor swift leading man!!! #I'm sitting here writing meta for a fantasy show!! obviously I am ALL ABOUT escape!! #but I do think nancy is gonna go the other way! #also. just. #'high school is fake but marriage is real' is my favorite love triangle take of all time #yeah! reject the ruling forms of teenagerhood!! it's so stupid!!!!! #but then get married and have six little nuggets #stranger things

[biillys]

something about when el went into void and found billy, she saw him on the beach surrounded by sunshine and love and truly fucking actually happy. something about how when she turned around and saw the storm, she put her hands out and felt the ash falling from the sky, and then saw neil abusing billy and abusing his wife. something about how even in the monstrous world from another entire dimension, neil's still the fucking monster in the story

#idk how the upsidedown and the void and possession work and at this point i dont fucking care #actually something about how she said she saw a someone pretty and then saw a boy #and didnt even click it could be billy until she heard his name get called out #like i guess she wouldn't know what he looked like as a kid and all that #but like.... they knew billy was possessed by this stage like? #and when she was like 'im at the beach' and lucas was like '??? hawkins has no beaches???' #max was like 'tell us what else u see' so pretty sure she was picking up what was getting thrown down #whatever none if this matters!!! i was just clipping up that scene for gifs today and decided to not mute it for once #and was like oh this is actually like genuinely fucking sad #like????? the fact billys hiding out in his memories??? except he cant actually live in just his happiest memory #cos even in his happiest memory #he asks to stay at the beach just a little longer #and his mum hesitates before giving in but still says if they're late then neil'll be mad #also the fact even his happiest memory is still surrounded by some of his most heart wrenching memories #like he can't remember the good without the bad #like his mind physically cant think about the one day on the beach were he caught a 7 foot wave #without remembering the fact that his mum fucking left #cant do this rn sorry guys im fucking emo #m #text

[binch-i-might-be]

also my most useless coworker got into light trouble today because she didn't listen to me. felt good <3

#see i TOLD HER that she should take her till and relieve a specific person so she could go on break #like not just close her register i told her to specifically take over that register because the girl was in a double with our new guy #who i don't want to be alone yet. and what does she do? she closes her register and opens a new one #so i was like 'umm that's not what i said. the new guy can't be alone yet' and she proceeds to misgender him and then says she doesn't want #to be in that register because it's too cramped in there. our supervisor notices this some time later and i tell her what i WANTED to happen #and what actually DID happen. aka that my Most Useless Coworker just decided to go rogue and ignore me even when i told her TWICE MORE #that this person is new and needs to have someone with them #and then she had the GALL to try and tell our supervisor when she brought it up a second time later that she didn't know he was new #when i told her no less than three times in that conversation alone. and also what do you mean you can't tell when someone is new #do you remember having worked with them for the past few months??? no??? then they're probably new! #anyway she got scolded and told to listen to me 💕💕💕💕 #rayrambles

[bambiraptorx]

sometimes i forget that being depressed isn't normal honestly

#bambi's rambling #i mean like it's normal for me and has been for years #possibly always #like i remember crying myself to sleep and thinking no one loved me at like age five #i just didn't really understand the concept until like. fifteen or sixteen i think #at one point i looked up an online 'are you depressed' quiz #even before my mom put me in therapy cause she was concerned #but it said i had 'mild depression' so i was like oh well that doesn't really count obviously #(the ironic part was that it was the same test that the therapist used to see if i was depressed. so apparently it was legitimate) #but like i dont know how not to be depressed #i know its getting worse lately but like. what do i do about that #i'm so horrendously uncomfortable talking about this kind of thing even in online settings #like there's a 50/50 change imma delete this instead of posting it it's that bad #prolly gonna delete this even if i do post it #how am i supposed to get help when i can't even ask for it. that kinda thing #not like it matters all that much anyway lmao #it's just my brain being stupid like normal #vent #tw vent #tw depression #tw mental illness #cw depression #cw mental health

[lemon-natalia]

this is the second time this week i've had a bizarre dream about the locked tomb, i think the universe is trying to tell me to hurry up and finish this book 😂

#lemon natalia reads the locked tomb #anyways palamedes camilla harrow and gid were all running to this random door to get to it #and then they teleported?? to a different room for some reason #and gideon casually revealed the emperor was her dad this whole time and she hadn't said anything cuz it wasn't relevant to the plot #and then then gid and harrow teleported away again #and that was it #the entire thing was resolved in two chapters and i remember being like 'wow that was a really unsatisfactory ending' #and then i woke up #i can't remember much about the first unfortunately #just that i know i had it and promptly forgot what happened other than it was about the locked tomb