#I end up shoving that scene out of my brain and then having a rollercoaster of emotions when I find out they’re fr (AGAIN) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rodeoxqueen · 3 years

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Hi hi!! I was wondering if you could do hcs of DMC boys spending times with their kids at the amusement park and at the end they take pictures with each other thank you so muc ^^

Howdy Howdy,

Of course I can, gorgeous.

Enjoy,

Rodeo.

Dante

“Kids! Wake up, wake up, we’re going to the amusement park!” He screams as he kicks the door down. The kids aren’t expecting it but they were overjoyed regardless.

Just as excited as his kids to go to amusement parks. He drives them the whole way over talking about which rides they should go on. They miss their turns several times.

Daddy Dante got the full dad in amusement park attire. Hawaiian shirt, board shorts, and flamingo socks with sandals.

It helps to be super strong, he holds all their stuff.

He races the kids to the lines. He basically lets them do what they want but he wants to go on the scary rides. Good thing it’s not their turn with the Sparda brain cell, they fear nothing.

“Wow, they say this ride is not suitable for sick people, pregnant women, old people, and people with common sense and self-respect. Well kids, it’s good that’s not any of us.”

“Dad, you’re pretty old.”

“Do you want to ride this death trap or not?”

“Nevermind, you don’t look a day over twenty, dad.”

“That’s what I thought.”

He wins them all the prizes. One of his kids runs around with the largest unicorn known to man while the vendor tells Dante that no, he cannot use Ebony and Ivory to win anymore stuffed animals.

“It’s so fluffy I’m gonna die!!”

“Kiddo, can that wait? We still have several rides to go on.”

Dante even has the dinky cameras with the photos you get developed at the print store. All of them are blurred or one of the kids makes a weird face in it. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

You know those punching bags they have that measure your strength? Well, Dante is super cocky stepping up to punch the daylights out of it.

The goofy dad misses, his fist going straight through the machine and lifting it out of the cement. His kids cheer as he realizes what he’s done.

“Did I win?”

“Sir, you need to pay for that.”

“Kids, book it and scatter! They can’t catch all of us.”

They are banned from that park. No regrets.

They go home, sunburnt, faces sticky with candy and all sorts of fried foods, and arms fulls of prizes. They don’t even make it to their rooms before they all pass out in the living room.

Dante buys so many pictures they took from the rides. They join the rest of his wallet photos.

Lady and Trish are mad he spent so much on one excursion, but seeing how happy he was with his kids, they don’t say anything.

Vergil

It isn’t until his kids plead and whine to him for weeks that he will open a portal to this “amusement park.”

“But Father, all the other kids get to go!”

“It is a frivolous waste of time.”

“Uncle Dante is so cool, our cousins got to go-”

“Where is it.”

He’ll be damned before his brother is considered “cooler” to his own children.

He’s the dad that doesn’t want to be there but relented for his kids. Another unamused dad stands next to him as they watch their kids go feral.

“You too, huh?”

“Don’t talk to me.”

He stands next to them in the long lines to ensure their safety. He glares at anyone who tries to cut in line.

“Cut in line in front of my children again. Try it. I will cut you.”

His kids get first in line since no one wants to stand behind Vergil. When the ride takes their photos, employees are shocked to see he is stone-faced the whole ride.

“Hell had better drops than this.”

His kids win prizes by themselves, Vergil once again relenting and handing them bills.

They run over to him with their own prizes and he pats them on the head.

“I expected nothing less.”

Vergil does not want his kids to get sick from all the sweets they wish to consume. He lets them choose a few things and then he cuts them off.

He sits down in the shade as his kids continue to play and run around.

It isn’t until they point to the strength tester that Vergil gets up again. He knows it’s rigged. He initially refuses, but when someone calls him a wuss he removes his jacket and snatches the hammer from the vendor.

Vergil hits the scale so hard that the puck flies straight off the scale and enters the stratosphere.

“Are we done now?”

He is handed an armful of tickets. His kids praise their father while he smugly smirks at the people who taunted him.

“Foolish.”

The pictures booth is thoroughly stuffed with all of his kids and their toys and stuffed animals. He is literally shoved into the background, all the weight on his lap as he tries not to asphyxiate. When the photos come out, you can only see the top part of his face.

They all go home, thoroughly entertained. Vergil acts like he doesn’t care and that the trip was mundane. But only he knows, he was smiling in all of the booth photos. Good thing he’ll take that to the grave.

His children see the posters around town for the amusement parks when he takes them out on afternoon strolls to the park. He’s an observant father, who notices how his kin gathers around the idea of this “amusement park.”

“Dad, can we please go?” They shyly ask.

“But of course.” He says.

He is not prepared for the chaotic nature of these crowded social events. It’s hot, he’s sweating, everything is so expensive, it’s loud……

Since he is unnaturally pale, he always applies sunscreen. His kids are also slathered in it before they go running about.

Bless him. He tries so hard to keep up in the sweltering heat. His kids notice he’s lagging behind so they decide to stay in one place so he can sit and observe.

At least the burgers and fries are good here. His kids run about, asking him to try what deep-fried and sugary creations they have found. He’s very fond of cotton candy and how it disappears on his tongue.

Shadow tries to eat garbage and Griffon is heckling the street performers.

V’s children beg him to come with them and practically drag him to the rides. He pales at the screams of other people.

He relents and he goes on the rides. His kids feel awful after he throws up after the third repeat of the most infamous attraction.

They leave him alone after that, letting him recover at a table. His familiars follow his children around to make sure nothing bad happens.

It’s not his scene, however….

He’s the new champ of guessing how many things are in a jar. He rests his head on his cane as he observes each marble, each little figurine before he guesses an incredibly close number.

His children are shocked to come back to him and find the piles of tickets he’s won.

His kids get themselves giant chicken and cat plushies.

“Hey, V! Not funny!” Griffon declares in indignance at the chicken plushies his master’s children run about with. Shadow is quite a fan, keeping one in her mouth.

Finally, it has gotten late and they all decide to take pictures. You know damn well that Griffon and Shadow wish to partake in this.

V keeps the photos tucked in his book.

Despite the literal spiraling rollercoaster that is amusement parks, he would do it all over again to see his children so overjoyed.

#dante headcanons #dante sparda #v headcanons #dmc5 v #vergil headcanons #vergil sparda #dmc headcanons #devil may cry headcanons

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promptis-imagines · 4 years

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How about Promptis go on their first ever date at an arcade or a fair and they're both nervous at first. They relax after a nice chat and some junk food and Noct notices a giant chocobo plush at a stall/prize counter and tries to win it for Prompto

nananasonatra: Noctis taking Prom on a summer carnival date. They both act like teenagers in love and at the end of the night they ride the Ferris wheel .Noctis bribes the operator to make them stop ontop .Sorry my heads fried in this heat lol

yes this is exactly what I need. You two have galaxy brains. So I will combine them: first date to the fair complete with shitty carnival games and a ferris wheel extravaganza

They are both very obnoxiously awkward. Prompto can’t stop talking even when he desperately wants to shut up. Noctis is having a hard time speaking at all. They went to the fair because hey, it’s in town! Surely that’s gotta be cheesy and fun. Thing is, both of them are too shy to admit that they love cheesy things (even tho they literally...are going on a date there. They’re doing their best). It’s the way there and the getting tickets where they’re still acting the nervous couple bit, but once they feel the adrenaline of a rollercoaster and stock up on junk food (a horrible choice before going on more rides), they start to loosen up and laugh off the nerves.

Also I can just...picture that scene. So vividly.

The sky was growing darker by the minute, which was only accentuated by the carnival lights dotting the view. Most of the rickety rides had been conquered, though not without a fair share of screaming on the couple’s part, so the tired boys decided to take a break for snacks before taking on the rest of the event.

Okay, maybe calling them “snacks” was a bit of an understatement. Two orders of fried oreos, an entire funnel cake, some wildly-oversized corndogs, and a large lemonade. They might have forgotten to grab dinner before the fair in their nervous endeavors, and nothing was healthy at the fair.

Sitting on that bench, laughing and munching on their food, any hint of awkwardness or fear was left behind in some gross seat of a rollercoaster car. Well and truly, this was a real date.

There was only a bit left of the funnel cake in the end. Prompto heaved a sigh, shoving the plate onto Noctis’ lap while his head flopped onto his shoulder. “You eat it,” he murmured.

Noctis pouted. “No, you.” The plate was passed back.

“Noooo, I’m so done, dude,” Prompto whined. “Just take one for the team.”

That earned a snort from Noctis. “What team? And why do we have to finish it?” he questioned.

Prompto paused, then sat up straight again. “I dunno. Feels wrong to just throw it away?” he reasoned. Especially considering that Noctis was the one who paid for all of it. He would feel bad, prince or not.

Noctis lightly bumped him with his shoulder. “It’s not that big of a deal. It’s the last thing we have, and I’d rather toss it than have either one of us get sick before our date is over.”

He couldn’t lie, Prompto’s stomach still erupted with butterflies at legitimately hearing Noctis say they were on a date. He’d been dreaming of this for so long that he’d chalked up his hopes to wishful thinking. But no, they were here, and they were having a good time. It was enough to make him grin. “Fine, fine. Throw it away, and we can walk around for a while before hitting something that could make us lose all that food we just ate,” he conceded.

“Right.”

The two of them hauled their trash to the nearest trash can, and Prompto had to laugh at just how much powdered sugar had attached itself to Noctis’ all-black clothing. “Y’know, I applaud your choices to start wearing white,” he teased, making Noctis look down at his shirt.

“Oh, come on,” Noctis grumbled.

Prompto ran his hands along the worst parts. “No worries, I got you.” It only took a few seconds more for him to note how low the powder had gotten. “Um...”

Noctis huffed a laugh, getting the rest off. “You’ve got some on you, too.”

“I do?” Prompto asked with a confused expression. “Could’ve sworn I dusted myself off, already. Where’s it at?” he rambled, hoping he didn’t look like a mess.

“Hm, right here.” Suddenly, Noctis’ hand was on his cheek, his warm lips pressed gently to Prompto’s in a kiss that lasted all of three seconds. Nonetheless, his cheeks were absolutely burning afterwards.

When they parted, it appeared that he wasn’t the only one. Noctis’ cheeks were dusted a soft shade of pink, though it was hard to see under the harsh lighting around them.

It took a moment for either of them to say anything. “Did...you get it off?”

Noctis’ lips turned up in a faint smile. “Think so.”

Now it was Prompto’s turn to smile. “Cool. Thanks. What would I do without you?” he joked.

“Dunno. Have powdered sugar all over your face?” Noctis returned teasingly.

“All over? You saying I’ve got more on me?”

Noctis hummed in thought, once again brushing his fingers along Prompto’s cheek. “Nope, got it all,” he confirmed.

An eye-roll from Prompto. “Dork. Let’s move away from the trash can, yeah?”

The two headed back into the bustle of the fair, hand in hand without Prompto even realizing they'd reached for each other. It made him giddy all over again.

Before long, they stopped. A long row of carnie games sprawled out before them, vendors shouting for patrons to step up and take their chances. Stuffed animals of all shapes and sizes were presented along every surface, and it was a safe bet to assume they’d been waiting to be claimed for far longer than necessary.

Prompto looked over to his date. “Got something in your sights?” he questioned.

That got Noctis tugging him towards a nearby stall. “Does a giant chocobo sound good? I’ll try to win it for you,” he stated, all the determination in the world lighting up his eyes. It was rare to see Noctis this enthusiastic about something. Gods, it was cute.

Still, Prompto couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him. The thing Noctis had pointed out was giant, which also meant that it was going to be near impossible to get. “I mean, it sounds great, Noct,” he started, leaning against Noctis’ shoulder. “But I’m not gonna get my hopes up.”

Noctis knocked his head against Prompto’s. “What, don’t believe in me?” he returned in mock-offense.

“Oh, c’mon, you know these things are rigged,” Prompto reasoned. “Plus, this is a shooting game. One, that’s even more rigged. Two, we should both know by now that I'm the better marksman out of the two of us."

His boasting earned him a scoff from Noctis. "While I might cave and admit that, it doesn't mean that I'm bad at it. Have a little faith," he requested, giving Prompto's hand a light squeeze. Without waiting for a response, he was off towards the unattainable holy grail of stuffed animals. Oh, to be the carnie that got to proctor this little event in history.

Watching with an air of amusement, Prompto leaned on his elbows over the counter. "Heya! What's the requirements for getting that Behemoth up there?" he asked, gesturing to the comically large bird in question.

The carnie's polished grin focused on him. "Well, buddy, it's fairly simple!" he chirped. "All you've gotta do is shoot at those little targets that are moving across the planks." He made a grand gesture towards the back wall, which sported plenty of painted wooden ducks with red and white targets on their sides meandering in a single file. "Each duckie has a different number on the back. Shoot as many as you can before the time runs out, and your score will be tallied afterwards. Get over fifty points, and the chocobo is all yours. But watch out! Some of the ducks are hiding negative numbers that will reduce your score. So, care to test your skills?"

His speech had sounded so trained and NPC-like, Prompto had to laugh. "No, not me. But this guy wants to give it a go." He tugged on Noctis' sleeve, a grin of pride bright on his face. Noctis, on the other hand, had lost some of that brazen confidence in his expression.

It was always funny to watch people's eyes go wide. "O-Oh, Prince Noctis! Er, that is you, isn't it?"

"Nah, but I get that a lot," Noctis replied nonchalantly, rolling his shoulders in preparation. "Just a guy trying to win a chocobo for his boyfriend. Can I start?"

The man, seemingly recovered, nodded with his previous vigor. "Of course! Here is your weapon, good sir." After ducking down to grab one of the dingy guns from under the counter, he handed it over. "The timer starts when you first shoot."

Prompto cast a smirk at his boyfriend. "Let's see what you got, sharpshooter," he teased.

Noctis took aim. "Oh, hush. I'm doing this for you."

After a quick "Good luck!" from the man behind the counter, Noctis started the timer with a pop from the toy gun. One duck down, who knew how many more to go.

"Wohoo, got one!" Prompto exclaimed, beaming at a smug-looking Noctis. "Think you can keep it up?"

Still keeping his eyes on the targets, Noctis gave a little nod. "You bet I will. I've got someone to impress," he replied before knocking another off of the shelf.

Prompto snorted, slumping more over the counter. "You say that like you're on a date," he continued.

Another duck toppled. "And what if I am?"

That earned a dramatized gasp from Prompto. "Are you, now? Didn't know you had it in you to snatch a date. Always thought you were too shy." The mocking edge to his words were light, and he couldn't hide the slight giggling that followed. The next few shots hit the wall. He poked Noctis in the shoulder before wrapping an arm around his middle. "Trying to win him something?"

Noctis gave him a knowing glance. "I would be, if he wasn't doing stuff to distract me. Don't be disappointed when I can't get the prize for you," he warned, getting another target down.

Prompto leaned in to press a kiss to Noctis' cheek. "A good marksman should be able to work well under pressure." Still, deciding that he'd messed with him enough, Prompto let go and returned to being an encouraging spectator.

As the timer drew nearer to zero and the little duckies came crashing down, Prompto did have to admit that he was impressed. Especially considering the hindrance that was a rickety carnival gun, the sizeable amount of targets Noctis had managed to hit was most likely more than the average. Though he hadn't expected much of a reward from this mess, part of him was thinking he might be going home with a giant stuffed chocobo.

When the timer sounded, the carnie bounced back to life. "Aaalrighty, let's see how you did!" he said in his merry speech. He collected the last few fallen ducks, then laid them face up on the counter in front of them.

"Sweet, let's count 'em up!" Prompto was grinning as he began to turn over the targets. "Noct, count with me. This one's five," he stated, "and then eight, and…damn, negative six." Oh well, there were plenty more to bring the score up.

Noctis continued flipping over the next few. "Hey, got a fifteen," he boasted, shoving it over to the counted pile.

"Aw, so proud."

The scores varied for the rest of the ducks, some on the smaller or negative sides, presumably to keep the prizes from all being taken. Still, Noctis had gotten a few of the higher numbered ones. With one left to check, he had reached a whopping forty-five. Prompto was tingling with excitement; that chocobo was as good as won.

The last one stared them down with its chipped paint and bright, ducky smile. "You want to do the last one?" Noctis offered.

With a nod and bated breath, Prompto turned over the last one to add the number….

"Negative twenty?" he cried. "Why is that even in here!" Noctis groaned as well, and the two boys slumped against each other in defeat.

The man behind the counter drew up an apologetic smile. "Sorry, fellas, luck of the duck. But you still get to choose from one of the smaller prizes!"

He gestured to the side wall that sported the rest of this booth's treasures. They were way smaller than the grand prizes, more hug-to-your-chest size, but they were still something.

Noctis nudged Prompto's shoulder. "Go ahead and pick one."

"Mh-hm." Prompto's eyes flitted over the options: stuffed dogs and coeurls, moogles, various fruits for some reason, and a mini version of that giant chocobo above their heads. "Not to be predictable, but I do want the chocobo," he decided. So what if he consistently chose them? They were his favorites!

As it was being retrieved, Prompto turned to Noctis with a bright smile. "By the way, good job, dude."

Noctis shrugged, a light mix of embarrassment and pride in his face. "I would've won if it had just been about knocking them over," he reasoned.

Prompto chuckled. "Sure would've. They weren't ready for you," he teased.

"Here you are, sir." Holding it in his hands, Prompto decided that this was officially the best first date ever. How cool was it that his boyfriend won him something at a shitty carnival game?

They ventured back into the crowds, a bit dissuaded from trying any of the other booths for now. The chocobo plush was held securely with one arm while his other hand held fast to Noctis'. Now there was just the matter of deciding what else to do before calling it a night.

"Got any ideas what to do next?" Prompto questioned.

Noctis pursed his lips, doing a quick glance around. "Well, I think we already went on all of the rollercoasters, and you're not putting me back on that drop thing," he said definitively.

That drew a laugh from Prompto. "I half expected you to warp right off of that thing, by the way," he commented. "But fine, something else. How about…." He trailed off, rubbing his thumb along Noctis' hand. "Oh! We haven't done the ferris wheel yet."

What other way was there to end a night at the fair than being sappy while overlooking part of the city from the top of a rickety ferris wheel? Prompto hoped he wasn't coming across as too sappy, though; it was embarrassing, but he really did enjoy those dumb romantic fantasies. Even after being asked out, he was still worried that Noctis might laugh at him for wanting to do cheesy romantic things. Noctis just didn't seem like the type to enjoy that. He knew he was probably being ridiculous, but that didn't dispel the doubt in the back of his mind.

Thankfully, Noctis gave a casual shrug and nodded. "Sounds good to me. We can hit the ferris wheel and then head out for the night," he said.

Relief flooded back into Prompto's lungs, and before long, they were speeding up towards bright lights of the their last ride. Giggling, the two kept it up until they were running and dodging people in the crowd to get there first. Nevermind that they were still holding hands.

The pair stumbled to a breathless halt at the entrance gates, turning to each other with a full-out laugh. Prompto still had his chocobo clasped tightly between his arm and chest.

"After you," Noctis said, finally letting go of his hand to gesture to the open gate.

Prompto landed a playful punch to Noctis' shoulder as he walked past. "Really acting like a prince today, huh?"

"What, I don't normally?"

"Gonna have to give a no to that one, bud."

"Rude."

The worker got them situated in the seat, Prompto first. Noctis lagged behind slightly, turning to the lady in charge before climbing in next to his boyfriend.

Once they were snugly hip to hip, Noctis sighed. "How old do you think this ride even is?" he asked.

Prompto looked up. "Proooobably pretty old," he reasoned. "But I'm sure it's fine. They have, like, inspections and stuff, right?"

Noctis huffed a little laugh. "Hope so. If something does happen, I'll just grab you and warp off of this thing."

"My hero," Prompto teased. Though, as they began their ascent up and around the ferris wheel, the idea that it might break down did start to creep into his mind. A jarring bump halfway there didn't help one bit.

He pressed closer to Noctis' side just as he did the same. Prompto took a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting the feeling of being close to him soothe him. The warmth they shared was a nice defense against the cold winds, too.

A tiny smile formed on his face when he felt Noctis nuzzle slightly into his hair. "Sorry I couldn't get you the giant chocobo," he heard him murmur.

Prompto gave a slight shake of his head. "Nah, don't worry about it. This one's just as cute. And it's travel sized." He gave the toy a squeeze. Honestly, he was thrilled to have a gift from him in the first place. It was a silly little thing, but it made his heart swell in a way he thought he'd never feel.

As they completed the first rotation of the wheel, Prompto decided to look around more at the fair below. By now the sky was completely dark, making the colorful lights shine brighter. Laughter and shrieks of children reached even where they were up high. He even saw someone drop their cotton candy in a puddle, which he pointed out to Noctis so they could both grimace at the sight.

All of a sudden, they were stuttered to a halt at the top of the wheel. Prompto swung his leg a bit and laughed. "Welp, looks like we're up here forever," he joked.

Noctis snorted. "We'd better not be. I'm not sleeping on a ferris wheel."

"That's your problem with it?" Prompto laughed, making the seat sway slightly.

"There's other issues with living on a ferris wheel for the rest of my life. That one just came to mind first," Noctis said in his defense.

Prompto's laughter continued while he squeezed the stuffed chocobo to keep from dropping it. "Yeah, okay. Sleep is always your first thought."

"Don't judge."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Being stuck at the top really wasn't so bad. They could see everything, and it was just the two of them, despite there being hundreds of people around. It was as if they'd been brought up just to be alone for a few minutes.

A hand rested atop his thigh, and Prompto turned to face his date. And gods, did he look so good with the lights of the city behind him. Noctis' dark hair made him a silhouette, though his features were close enough to make out. His cool gray eyes had a soft shine to them, and he was looking at Prompto in a way that stole his breath. He had to be the luckiest guy in Eos right now.

Noctis quirked a small smile. "Is it…too cheesy if I ask for a kiss right now?"

Prompto paused, then cracked a smile as well. "Very cheesy. Do it," he replied.

"Then can I kiss you at the top of the ferris wheel?"

Without speaking, Prompto slid a hand along the side of Noctis' neck and pulled him in. His lips were tinged with slight cold, but they felt soft as they touched Prompto's. And just like that, they were sharing one of those dumb movie kisses on their first date at the fair. The thought made Prompto's smile grow as he leaned in more.

Once they pulled away, there were a few moments of silence between them. Then the ride began to move again, starting through one more loop before they would be let off.

Prompto couldn't hold back another little laugh. "Good way to end that?"

"Definitely," Noctis said, looking equally relieved and happy. "Now we can't say anything else for the rest of the time so we don't ruin it."

That earned a shoulder punch from Prompto. "Oh, shut up."

"See, like that."

Prompto grinned, taking Noctis' hand in his. "Too bad you're stuck with me, then," he retorted.

Noctis smiled back. "What a shame."

#I finally finished it lakfjagahgkjdk #this took me forever I am sorry #y'all be like: give me the tooth rotting fluff #and I try to provide #promptis #ask #thedarkrose17 #nananasonatra #answered

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the-worlds-tiniest-bowtie · 5 years

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Brandon Coleman's Boy Witch

I had the pleasure of experiencing Brandon as Boy Witch for the first time last week and I haven't shut up about it since! I decided to make a post detailing all the things i love about him because his take on BW is so different than anyone I've seen before.

this is completely self indulgent and kind of just a diary entry/recap. i'm not posting this on my main blog on the off chance Brandon somehow finds it.

warning: this contains spoiler heavy material for BW's entire loop. i will be comparing the differences between Brandon and other performers (Nate, David, Austin, Jason, etc) so some of their character choices/audience interactions will be detailed here.

let me start by saying Brandon's Porter is my all time favorite. he played Porter in my 2nd show ever and was the first actor/character i followed for a full loop. I've had his 1:1 at least 4 times, maybe 5. the last time he picked me was one of the most special moments I have ever experienced in a show.. I don't remember who was playing Boy Witch but it was probably David or Nate because those are the only 2 i would follow from the ballroom.

after BW pushed Porter down, i had every intention of following BW. there were 3 or 4 people standing right where Porter usually picks, and i wasn't angling to get the 1:1 at all. when BW left, i followed him for about 5 steps and then turned around to watch Porter pick his 1:1. when i looked down at Brandon, he was already staring at me. I've never seen Porter pick someone BEHIND him for a 1:1, and i don't know if Brandon recognized me, but i gave it a second to see if he would realize it was me and choose someone else instead. Nope. i didn't move until he slowly reached his hand out and that's when i turned around and walked back to him. i may never know what possessed him to pick in such an unusual way and it still makes my heart skip a beat when i think about that moment.

something i really enjoyed about Brandon's BW is that many of the character traits he exhibits are clearly inspired by Porter. on the other hand, some aspects of his character are the opposite of how he plays Porter. Boy Witch is flirty, saucy, minx-y, and while Brandon is all of those things, he's missing one thing the other boys have: he's not mean. he's the first boy witch I've seen that doesn't give off a "i'm leading you on but i really don't give a shit about you" vibe. where most boys are sinister, Brandon is fun. i have never seen a BW smile so much - and not the usual knowing smirk, like, he was BEAMING. youthful, carefree, excited!

I first saw Brandon in the ballroom, dancing with Malcolm. it took a few minutes for him to look at me (was i desperately trying to make eye contact because we talked at the halloween party and i was super pumped about FINALLY seeing his Boy Witch? maybe.) and when he did, he went from being stoic and serious to getting visibly excited and grinning SO BIG i almost died. (Brandon, if you're reading this, let's be friends seriously how are we not friends already?) little did i know, this was going to be dark foreshadowing for the rest of the night.

like i said, he was having the time of his life.. until he wasn't. my second sign that Brandon's BW was going to be unlike any other was during the luggage dance. I've been pushed up against the wall by Boy Witch more times than i can count. I think Nate holds the record. but this is the first time BW has walked towards me, made me step back almost against the wall, then suddenly twirled around me and put his own back against the wall. IM SORRY WHAT? it took a second for my brain to catch up and realize he was inviting me to participate in role reversal. I can and will play Boy Witch at any given moment, so i took another step and pinned him against the wall for a split second. we made eye contact and it threw me off to see Brandon being sultry instead of the scared Porter expression I'm used to seeing. LITTLE DID I KNOW.

the phone booth dance was another confusing emotional rollercoaster- that was the first time I've seen an actor I associate with Porter playing Boy Witch and i was suddenly brought back to my first time watching that dance; not knowing whose side to be on. i betrayed Porter and followed BW to High Street, where he actually spat into his hand, which is somehow not the grossest thing I've seen BW do. (re: David making himself throw up in the shower takes the cake) BW led me to the Speakeasy where i found NATE AS SPEAKS and i swear i nearly fainted. Brandon tried to attack me, of course, Nate stopped him and i had yet another trippy moment of watching my favorite Boy Witch actor shove my favorite Porter actor into a box.

nothing too exciting happened between then and the rave. Brandon kept looking at me while wearing the ram head and thanks for the attention Brandon but i HATED IT. i hate that stupid head. i followed BW to the shower where he broke my heart for the first time that evening. i love to see what different actors do in the shower. it's such a simple scene in theory but such an opportunity for each actor to make it their own. i watched David gag himself until he threw up, then scrub his face and body for a solid 2 minutes, I've seen Nate spit out an entire mouthful of blood, etc etc. Brandon did possibly the most heartwrenching of them all, which was curl up against the wall and hide his face in his arms. he didn't move for a long time, and when he did, he started gently shaking and sniffling. crying. this lasted for another minute before he looked up and surveyed the room.

i was purposefully not standing directly in front of the crowd; i was right next to the sink but there was another person slightly in front of me. i know Brandon's history of picking me when I'm trying NOT to be picked. i saw him look at me but i wasn't going to be a pushy audience member, so i held still while the person in front of me grabbed the towel. (if you're reading this, you already know how it ends and I'm sorry!) he dried off and looked at them, then motioned for his shirt. he got the box out, dug around, pulled his pants out, and handed them to.. me. i knew it was coming but it still made me so happy i almost cried. not to flex but I'm an expert at unraveling BW's suspenders so i untangled them in mere seconds. i stepped back after that, fully intending to give that person their shot, but i knew all along he was going to walk out with me. sure enough, he stood up, didn't look at anyone, and slipped his hand in mine as he walked out the door. side note: Brandon, if you're reading this, i love that you squeeze my hand like 3 times when you pick me for things. thank you.

we made it to the 1st floor where he scared the shit out of me when i got to the bottom of the stairs, then gave me a very sensual kiss on the cheek and ran off to the banquet. at this point, i left him to follow Speakeasy and didn't catch back up until the end of the witches' lobby dance with Macbeth. he picked someone else to sing to and this time, i did position myself conveniently to get chosen for the phone booth 1:1. sorry, fellow audience members. you gotta learn when to hold'em and when to fold'em! the phone booth is one i rarely get, so i felt justified. I glared at BW and tried to look apologetic at Porter- who walked away while BW was still using my finger to wipe his face. POWER MOVE. I SEE YOU JOHN WILLIAM WATKINS.

Boy Witch bewitched me with his eyes and then shrouded us in the darkness of the curtain. when we were safely hidden away from the world- holy shit, you guys. his face changed. suddenly, i was looking at Porter. the first time i saw him as Porter, i described Brandon as an older, more masculine version of Credence from Fantastic Beasts. i texted a friend that he had the energy of someone nervous and abused, and that same fearful energy came through in those moments in the phone booth. depending on how you interpret the story, BW is a scared and abused boy. he looked at me with those sad Porter eyes and i was filled with the strangest deja vu as he took off my mask. he whispered a secret in my ear and we had a fun out of character moment where Brandon tried to put my mask on and the curtain started to fall, so he panicked and tried to hand my mask to me, but i didnt notice in time, so he had to try and put my mask on again but we were running out of time because the curtain was still falling and he SOMEHOW got it on but omg it was stressful. Brandon, if you're still reading, that was adorable and I'm glad i got to share that moment of panic with you. also i love you.

i left BW soon after that but caught back up with him at the end of the show, where Brandon graciously walked me out. y'all, if you're lucky enough to get a walkout, the best part of the entire show might just be the moment you and the actor smile knowingly at each other before breaking into a run, down the lobby hallway and through the red curtains.

Brandon's charm doesn't stop when the show ends, though. i sent him a kiss emoji (or 12) as soon as i left the building and he immediately sent back a message where he APOLOGIZED FOR SOME TINY MISTAKE I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER. Brandon, i hope you read this so you know how FURIOUS i am that you would ever apologize for the performance you put on. don't you DARE say sorry for being a completely new and different version of my favorite character. you're my #1 Porter and now my #2 Boy Witch. (sorry, Nate Carter owns this ass.) also, you're just the most lovable person. we have so much in common that it's actually a crime you have yet to follow me back on instagram. also, happy late birthday, this is your present from me.

IN CONCLUSION: if you haven't been to a Sunday early show in the past 5 weeks, it's time for you to buy your ticket. go see that boy in action.

fin.

#sleep no more #brandon coleman #snm #mckittrick hotel #the mckittrick hotel #boy witch #snm recap #is that a tag?#someone teach me how to add the read more thing on mobile #if you read this novel please dm me for my main account

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isakvaltrsen · 6 years

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Skam fic love fest | Day 6: Recommendations

I’ve read lost of wonderful evak fics. fics that made me cry. fics that made me laugh out loud. fics that i couldn’t stop reading until I was done. I’m happy to share my favorites (arranged by word count, ascending). I put a heart in front of those fics that are my absolute favorites.

before it's all too much by thekardemomme | “It's in the past, Even. You can keep it there if you want to.” | 1.6k

Take this lonely heart by Tchell1 |The tears would not stop. They had kept coming since Even realized what had happened. Even was not normal. His terrible brain would highjack his body and do with it whatever it wanted. Isak would never love him. Even couldn’t even blame him. Even was never able to love himself. | 1.7k

other lives and dimensions and finally a love poem by iphigenias | "Marry me," Isak says. Even almost drops the can of tuna he's holding. | 1.9k

The Study Buddy by wordsarelifealways/ @isaksredscarf | In this universe, Even meets Isak when he pours Red Bull into a black coffee at 7.15AM to cope with a morning class. Even's inner barista is horrified, but damn if the boy isn't cute. | 2k

Must Be Love on the Brain by flowerbedofsouls | On Thursday 8th, Isak follows his friends' advice and takes a bus to Even. | 2k

The Hot Muffin Thief by @bellakitse | There is a magical muffin at the café where Isak's buddy Jonas works. It's Isak's lifeline, he has it every day and then one day some hot art hipster steals his muffin. | 2.2k

you are a kaleidoscope by grinsekaetzchen | The first time Even sees Isak across the schoolyard, his own magic grips him so tight, he has to sit down to get it under control again. Still, he doesn’t stop looking at Isak. | 2.4k

when i’m close to you (we blend into my favourite colour) by Behindthecities/@vanqoh | the the 5 times Isak forgets that he’s not dating Even and the 1 time he does something about it. | 2.5k

kiss me thru the phone by kaleidxscope | Even always forget to turn on his Wi-Fi and he has the bad habit of replying his phone company's texts. | 2.6k

i'll paint the picture, let me set the scene by mmxii/@isakissyvaltersen | This might very well be the stupidest idea Isak has ever had. And he’s had his fair share of stupid ideas, so he knows what he’s talking about, okay. | 4k

Quidditch and liquorice wand kisses by @bellakitse | The first time Isak Valtersen meets Even Bech Næsheim the seven-year Ravenclaw chaser, it’s because the boy saves him from a bludger to the face. A Hogwarts AU | 4.2k

and you're the moon, i'm the water by gravinnen | turns out things like negative feelings and insecurities don't actually disappear by never talking about them to anyone ever and Isak's not too excited about that. time to face some fears. | 4.2k

it's going to rain on friday, the twenty-second of december by vesperthine | Isak has tried to tell him that there’s nothing to discuss ( – that mom isn’t well, that dad is a coward, that he just wants to forget everything about family and expected happiness and just leech off of theirs – ) but every time Even has gone quiet and looked down; looked so sad that the conversation has just died. Which he knows is a fatal blow ( – a communicative meltdown – ) that leads to everything that he wants to avoid; screaming and crying that reminds all too much of the things he just wants to forget. | 4.3k

new beginnings by skamz | Isak moves into his new place and meets his new neighbors, a boy named Even and Satine, his cat. | 5k

and so i happily concede, this is all i ask, this is all i need by lovedisak | Even is fucking owning this marriage proposal thing.(with a little help) | 5k

let's have a team talk by colazitron/ @fille-lioncelle | Even is out for some non-alcoholic gløgg with his friends when he catches sight of a pretty blond boy. His friends do what all good friends would: play matchmaker. | 5.2k

scanned the skies with rainbow eyes by imminentinertia/@skamskada | He closes his eyes for a while, listening to the gentle whooshing sounds the waves make on the wet sand. The seagulls and the geese squawk a little and from afar he can hear a child laughing.He can also hear the soft padding of feet on the sand. Not goose feet, human ones. Close by. | 5.2k

❤️Spaces Between Us by allyasavedtheday/@littlespooneven | A fix-it fic for Even's storyline in season 4. | 5.6k

In Haunted Attics by GayaIsANerd/ @greathalesonfire | Isak meets Even a little earlier, a little more broken, a lot more lonely. | 6k

let me count the ways by anathema/ @azirapha1e | The worst part, the humiliating part, is that he’d thought he was over all this.He had been. He hasn’t thought about any of it in months – but sometimes life fucks you over, and sometimes a boy you tried to kiss, a boy who pushed you away, shows up to your first-month-of-living-together party unannounced, and sometimes you end up bolting out of your own apartment to have a panic attack where nobody can see you. | 6k

Sju Minutter by nusmag | It’s a love exercise, Isak supposes, shoving two people in the small, dark room under the tribune for seven minutes at a time. | 6.1k

we've built a home by skamz | after a bad breakup, Isak moves in with his new roommate, Even. He tries not to fall for him, and fails. | 6.2k

Large Americano, Extra Milk and Sugar by daigina | It's almost Valentine's Day. Mikael has a new job. Even has a new crush and no courage. This makes for lots of pining Evens, frustrated Mikaels, and spilled coffee. | 6.5k

The Boy Who Likes Isak's Smile by wyoheartsmusic/ @julian-dahl | Isak is heartbroken and there is a boy who is very determined to make him smile. | 7.6k

❤️ open the pod bay doors by iriswests/ @juilawicker | Even's trying to write a script for his class, Isak happens to catch a glimpse of the shit show, and they fall in love over a story of parallel universes. | 8.4k

Fall for You by Sabeley | If Isak could just stop embarrassing himself in front of the ridiculously attractive guy in his psychology class, that would be great. | 9.1k

ride with me, i'll ride with you by skamz | In an ideal world, Isak would spend this ride sitting by himself at the back of the train. In the real world, however, he has to allow this stranger to sit next to him.(A stranger whose shoulder he soon finds himself falling asleep on.) | 9.2k

baby we've got new love by itjustkindahappened | Isak is hella fucking gay and desperately single, and Eskild wants to change that. Even just has a thing about timing. Coffee shop AU with an ironic amount of tea enthusiasm and a whole lot of pining. | 9.5k

a constant state of closeness by chevythunder/ @icelandcurry | It starts with a hug. | 9.7k

Love Me Harder by tech_ftw | In which accidentally being added to a group text has unexpected consequences. Like falling in love. | 9.8k

❤️hell yeah, you the shit (that's why you're my equivalent) by colazitron | Even can't keep it in his pants, or his heart.or: Sometimes your boyfriend proposes and you just really want to sit on his dick. | 10.3k

it's mostly butterflies by hippopotamus/ @evenshands | “I’ve told you before,” Isak says, without looking up at Even. “The modern world relies on science and technology, Even. There’s no place for magic, it’s dangerous and unnecessary.” Little does he know, Even’s a witch. | 11.7k

LØRDAG 10:38 by wyoheartsmusic | Isak tries to understand what's going on after Even leaves their hotel suite butt-naked. Or: It's Saturday, 03.12.16, 10:38 and some things are the same while others are a little different. | 12.4k

It's a Wonderful Life by kapplebougher | It's a Wonderful Life AU, where Even believes the world would be better off without his existence. With the help of an angel though, he comes to realize that just maybe - that may not be entirely true. | 13k

The Balloon Intervention by lovelycarcass | Even wants to get Isak's attention and the Balloon Squad decide to take matters into their own hands. | 13.3k

when your heart is bleeding, i'm coming to get you by cosetties | Isak doesn't exactly expect his hookup from last week to be the love advice columnist at the school newspaper he's working at. He also doesn't expect to fall even harder for him than he already has, which is a shame, really, since Even's crushing on someone else. | 13.5k

Never be the same by nofeartina | It starts with a bet - one of those really stupid ones: can they last an entire month without any kind of sex? It’s been 22 days – and Even is dying. | 14.2k

❤️Somewhere I’ve never been by MinilocIsland | The first time Even meets Jonas' best friend, nothing goes according to plan. | 14.6k

turn my blue heart to red by allyasavedtheday/@littlespooneven | Because we need a doctor au. | 16.5k

as if by magic (thoughts of you are gone) by hippopotamus/ @evenshands | Isak hates being the third wheel to his best friends, until that means he gets to sit next to a handsome stranger on a rollercoaster. | 16.6k

Sideways and Slantways by iriswests | Isak gets stuck in an elevator with the one person he's vowed never to speak to again. This eventually prompts a conversation long overdue, but not without the memories flooding his brain like a broken dam first. | 17.6k

And they were right in front of you the whole time by Ihavecoldhands | Isak and Even meet as children, but it takes them a while to become friends. It takes them a little longer to become more. | 18.3k

something in the language of trees by scarletbluebird | AU where Isak's job really was to be Even's friend. | 20.8k

Eight Count by bri_ness/ @brionbroadway | Isak is a dancer who is losing his passion. Right when his best friend, Eva, needs his help with her struggling dance company. But when the famous Even Bech Næsheim joins their company, Isak thinks he might find inspiration again. | 21k

All the climbing, all the falling by Alene/ @tristealven | Isak and Even never saw each other after that night at the Plaza. Five years later Isak studies molecular biology in Bergen and keeps running into someone tall and blond.It rains a lot, there are mountains to climb, and some things start to fall into place. | 21.8k

snow and dirty rain by grinsekaetzchen/ @hotchocolatenthusiast | In which Vilde starts a book club because someone else already started kosegruppa, Even is a book nerd, who recites poetry, and Isak struggles to see the point of reading boring books when he could just watch the film versions; except, that he meets Even, so maybe book club isn't that much of a waste of time as he's previously thought. | 23k

No Rain, No Roses by @fxckxxp | Science brains and art brains were meant to fall in love. Or: Isak and Even restore a house together and make it a home. | 23.2k

Let go when you give it by unsungyellowraincoat/ @isaksbestpillow | Isak is a tired biology student who has no time for love, he barely manages to take care of himself. Until two small dogs and a tall handsome stranger change all of that.Or Isak and Even meet at a dog park. | 23.5k

❤️i guess that's destiny doing it right by allyasavedtheday/@littlespooneven | the alternate universe where Even originally went to Nissen and became friends with Isak and Jonas when they started first year but moved away after his episode at the end of first year only for Isak to never hear from him again. Fastforward to the summer before Isak starts college when he’s travelling around Spain and bumps into a certain someone in Barcelona. | 26.4k

Dear Friend by bri_ness/ @brionbroadway | Isak and Even work together in a failing video store, and they cannot stand each other. Isak and Even both signed up for the Love Letters dating service, and they’re both falling for their anonymous pen pal. | 26.8k

please hurry leave me, i can't breathe by cosetties | For the first time in his goddamn life, Isak is focusing on himself. Trusting people, loving people, has never worked out well for him anyway. The last thing he needs is Even, who looks at him like he sees right through him, like Isak is worthy of something more. | 27.3k

❤️in better light, everything changes by TimeInABottle | Isak accidentally texts a stranger (Even) while trying to text Sana. | 31k

you're gonna sing the words wrong by strangetowns | In which Even is simultaneously the biggest loser and the hottest teenager on the planet, and Isak is simultaneously super gay and super pressed about it. Or: a marching band AU. | 32k

Guru Knows Best by StMisery | Isak grumps, and Eskild schemes. But it's all in the name of love. For their gorgeous new neighbour (and a little for each other too). Even moves into the apartment across the hall, and Isak's just trying to make it another day without dying of embarrassment. | 36.6k

❤️Play That Song by kapplebougher | Every day, Even catches a boy in a snapback who sneaks in to play the piano at the summer camp Even works at. Even's never seen him before. But if the boy's good looks hadn't already captivated him, then his phenomenal piano-playing ability certainly has. Even doesn't know much about love at first sight, but he thinks that this is pretty close. | 41k

Things Look Different in the Morning by allyasavedtheday/ @littlespooneven | In which Even needs a place to stay, kollektivet gains a new roommate, and Isak just really wants to sleep. | 46.8k

I'll Be Coming Home, Wait For Me by dahlstrom | The diner AU. Even and Yousef open a 1950s American-style restaurant together - Even is the creative genius in the kitchen, Yousef keeps the trains running on time, and Isak, Chris B, and Magnus are all along for the ride. Falling in love over food while Elvis serenades from the jukebox. Welcome to the Throwback Diner. | 47.9k

four movements on a first wedding by chevythunder/ @icelandcurry | Isak's spent years keeping his distance to Even, worried that any kind of closeness could trigger feelings he won't be able to suppress. Waking up married to Even after a blurry night in Las Vegas throws a slight wrench in those plans. | 48k

❤️Though our parts are slightly used by Teatrolley | Isak is pining for Jonas, and Even is pining for Mikael. Jonas and Mikael are dating. Isak and Even meet Or: Isak thinks love is a risk, and Even thinks it's tragedy. That's the beginning, anyway. | 54k

❤️a mental archive of love unwanted by chevythunder/ @icelandcurry | Even moves into a new flat, gains new friends and tries not to have his heart broken. He nails the first two. | 71k

❤️sua lumina; sidus series by shoulderbone/@odeto-psyche | What he wants to say, and cannot bring himself to admit: Before you there was no real me. Only a person pretending to be. Or, alternatively: Isak comes back to face death, and in the meantime, finds rebirth. | 101k

❤️with love, from anonymous by cosetties, iriswests | Isak just wants to get his coffee in peace, Even has a crush, and there's a secret admirer on the loose. | 136k

#sflf2018 #evak #isak x even #fic rec #skam fic love fest #my post #pls let me know if any of the links don't work #i worked on this list so long everything is blurry at this point #:D

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kenrik · 6 years

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Conflicted - that was what I felt after my first viewing of TLJ.

My journey from “???” to “WTF!!”. Comparing my insight from my first viewing of TLJ to my second.

1. I am Reylo shit. But after watching TLJ, I couldn’t process what I’d just seen. I felt like there was nothing bridging the gap from “You’re a monster!” to “Let’s work together, Ben Solo~” So, I thought, initially, that their relationship was poorly constructed. And, I felt conflicted because - although I would love Reylo to happen, I didn’t want it to happen in a mucked up sort of way.

2. The first scene - the bombing scene. I couldn’t understand it. Where the hell did those vessels come from? Who the hell was that woman. And why the hell do we care about the medallion around her neck? Just - who the faq?

3. Poe is an idiot. A dolt. A trigger happy fool. (A stark contrast to his soundness from TFA.)

4. Then, after the first scene - I guess everything happened and my brain went haywire - thinking - W.T.F.????!!!??? My brain proceeded to shutdown afterwards, I think. And just let the images pass.

5. Holdo’s sacrifice was very cliche. Best sacrifice scene for me was Lelouch’s. Going back to it, I guess anime’s sacrificial themes make western ones pale in comparison. Anyway, I didn’t appreciate this scene so much - even with the spectacular cinematography - because it was what it is - cliche. Also, there would be zero casualties other than herself. I mean, as far as logic went - anyone with half a brain would’ve done what she did. “It’s only logical.” lol

6. Too many jokes. Hux became a punchline which I found annoying. I felt it was forced (lol). Also, the recurring about Poe being trigger happy - wanting to bomb everything in sight. That was just, very cringeworthy. (And I understand why they did it, though. Curse you Marvel! And your many jokes! DAMN-IT.)

7. Luke’s snarkiness. Maybe I need a refresher course on his character. Last we saw him, he’s been battling with incredible shit as a kid. Then now, we jump to his old master type guy who smirks a lot... BRIDGE. THE. GAP.

8. Kylo Ren - the GIGANTIC. PAIN IN THE ASS. CRYBABY. One of the reasons I left the movie house utterly conflicted was this character. When I though he had progressed (somewhat) - he goes reverse psycho mode and losses all his shit - and with it, all that development he made in the middle part of the film. As a Kylo Ren buff - this was incredibly frustrating to say the least.

8.5 Rey’s constant rejection of Kylo Ren. But who can blame her?? That guy’s a mess! One of the reasons I left the movie house conflicted was Kylo’s flipflopping character development. By the end - I was like - of course she’d leave you - you’re an idiot! Two rejections in one movie plus that one rejection in TFA... how many times does Rey have to reject you before you clean your act up, stupid Ren?! I felt angry and sad for Kylo, for being conflicted, lost, close to something certain, solid, then all out batshit crazy and lost and conflicted again. It was a rollercoaster for me and my rooting for Ben Solo’s character. Damn did that guy take me for a ride.

9. Phasma v Finn scene. Phasma is an incredible baddie. I loved their fight scene. My comment is, though, - that it was minute. Ever so tiny. And her “death” was so anticlimactic - I can’t even. It was cliche. The fight could have been longer.

10. Finn and Rose - IDIOTS. What were those two thinking sharing their plans to an absolute stranger?? And they get shocked that the thief sold them out the first chance he got. Seriously - their whole subplot was like stepping on dogshit. I get the message the team wanted to bring across. But seriously, that same message could’ve been said with a better subplot. There was no answer as to who the man with the rose pin was - no recall to the past story, to any story in SW. Use the old characters for some substance! We have so many more of them at the team’s disposal. :/

Cookies (Parts I loved since the first viewing.)

1. Leia is kween. That force stunt she pulled was epic. It was incredible. I can’t even. (Proves to show you how strong she is with the force - and FU fanboys whining - “The force ain’t werq dat wei betch!”) 2. Luke and his liberal approach to the force. Preach!! 3. Rose’s message about weapon dealers (AKA AMERICA, RUSSIA, CHINA. H8CHU FUCKERS - fighting each other when you’re basically on the same fucking boat - HU U THINK UR FOOLING). 3.5 Rose hitting deserter Finn with a stunbaton/gun. 4. That immaculate contrast of white and red minerals. 5. BB8 DOING ALL THE WORK IN ROSE and FINN’S ARC. I mean - GIVE THE DAMN DROID/ROBOT AN OSCAR! 6. Rey’s druggy self-discovery scene. That was just crazy good. 7. The bitchy fish nuns. 8. Chewie roasting porgs while porgs watch in tearful horror. 9. Luke’s leap from one hill to the next. 10. Ben’s slide/glide when he first talks to Rey via force bond. 10.25 Rey’s incessant bitching to Ren via force bond about how Ben is a monster. How she beat him. How she found Luke before him. How she beat him. How he’s a loser. How he’s an idiot. How she hates him. (During that scene, I just can’t help but laugh at her intense lashing out at him HAHA) 10.5 Rey shooting Ren the first opportunity she got. 10.75 Ren standing in the bridge? looking at the platform thing? And Ren being all savage and unforgiving and shooting the fighter planes of the resistance. 11. Snoke’s labyrinth scene!!!!*#*#JMNFUWNF!!!*@(#*$ 12. Epic Yoda is epic. I watched the film with my blockmates, impromptu right after our last finals exam. His quote "Failure is the best teacher.” literally made us ball out in tears. DAMN IT. Yoda got us again! “Do or do not, there is no try.” is so good it’s unfair. 13. Kylo ren practically throwing a tantrum when he faced his uncle Luke. 14. “You came from nothing.You are nothing... But not to me.” 15. Luke’s deep backwards dip in his face off with his nephew Ben. 16. Hux’s screaming repeat of Ben’s order to proceed, earning a “dafuq” look from Kylo. 17!!! Kylo Ren and Anakin = obvious blatant parallels! The hair, the attire, the anger in their expressions!

My SECOND VIEWING gave me clarity. So, here is my feedback after not having been taken by a shitload of surprise. 1. The scenes had okay pacing. Just unnoticeable because a lot was shoved to our face in less than three hours. 2. Finn/Rose subplot was meh, not exactly the worst thing in the world. And, it makes sense that they get that type of subplot. Rose was a low-ranking member, delegated to catching deserters. Finn knows next to nothing about the Resistance. And Poe is a loose canon. Of course the quest they’d end up in is only as good as what their character’s can make up. This is very realistic actually. 3. It’s a kid’s movie. Of course it would be riddled with cliches. 4. Vulnerability - that’s what bridged the gap between Rey and Ren. 5. Captain Phasma is coming back! *hopefully* She deserves a better send off! 6. Kylo Ren’s character development. I was devastated after my first viewing. I thought he had regressed to the point of no return. Man, I was so ready to throw all my Reylo hopes away because dammit if an idiot ends up with Rey. But, I failed to appreciate that last scene between them properly.

Ren is kneeling, head bowing low in remorse. And Rey were eyes hard and unforgiving, her expression, swelling in disappointment of him. Wow. That said a lot. This is a huge step. After Rey left him (wow it’s like leaving a lover after having had sex), Ren just catapults himself into a raging fit. How could he not? How could he not lose all of his shit after having LOST ALL HIS SHIT. HAHA (Shit is such a good placeholder for the dumb.) I mean - he just killed his Supreme Leader. He offered his heart out to Rey - to this stranger. For once in his life, nothing had been clearer to him - he wanted to join forces with Rey. Forget everyone else. So long as she joined him, nothing would ever be unattainable. But she rejected him. And then - he lost all his shit. He was so certain for once - that Rey would join him. That she saw the same future he saw of her, of them, standing together towards the same goal. With her rejection - he was thrown back to confusion. To that irrational conflict he could never make sense of. Everything that happened after was an intense blur that he could do nothing more but work in automatic mode. And his automatic mode is work like a bitch baby. Imagine this - everything happened so fast after than one moment of clarity - The resistance found a safe haven. The Millennium Falcon was shooting at them. And that one person he’s been searching for all his life resurfaces out of thin air. All the lies that Snoke told him, all the hatred that scum put in his mind, just exploded.

Everything happened so quickly. He had no second to think straight. He went to what was natural - what Snoke taught him. Which is why~ that moment of realization at the end, of regret, remorse, guilt - towards Rey, towards this person who seemed to genuinely believe in him - is so important. It makes me believe that he’ll be thinking of his actions more rationally. And this makes me happy for my favorite character.

A lot have said this, but I think a year or a few will pass in the timeline before we rejoin the characters. We’ve seen their conflict. Now, we’ll see them in their fullest form - allowing for the ultimate battle. This, I’m really excited for. And I give zero fucks whether or not Kylo will be good or bad. I just want him to know who he is and what he is fighting for. And for the briefest moment, we saw it in TLJ - the death of the past - of the Republic and of the Jedi Order - and hopefully of the ashes of the Empire - the First Order.

TLJ was a really good film. I can’t say it was a really good SW film, but it was an incredible film. You haters need to get your shit together and progress with everyone else. Also, I hate you all for crying Mary Sue on Rey. We women had to deal with countless Mary Sue men in our blockbusters. Now we have one of our own, you’re bitch crying at Disney. FU.

Stay calm. Stay chill. KenRik.

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thevioletcaptain · 7 years

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12.11 Regarding Dean

THE VERDICT

Oooooooh, @Merecuda.

As cliche as it sounds, this was a goddamn rollercoaster. It hit every one of my feelings in rapid succession and then shoved a slow-motion mechanical bull sequence in my face right when I thought I’d survived.

Meredith Glynn’s first episode suffered from bad timing (who could have predicted) but it’s become clear from rewatching since that she’s a damn powerhouse. This episode solidified that, and I’m thrilled that she’s on staff.

This episode would have been the morale boost we all needed when TOYBWF aired. Humor with a dash (or more) of pain is definitely Glynn’s wheelhouse.

John Badham’s direction was really nice, imo. There were some beautifully framed shots--in particular during the forest scenes, at the bar, and uh... the bull. I’ll never get that out of my mind. The music choice at the end hurt like hell, too, so props to Badham for that. Or Glynn, if she specifically asked for it. The editing felt really slick in this one, too.

Also, it probably goes without saying, but Jensen Ackles kicked my ass twelve ways from Sunday with that one scene in the bathroom.

A play-by-play recap with meta-adjacent notes is under the cut!

ALL THE THINGS

THEN!

~reminder that Dean is a germaphobe~

~practically every witch ever~

NOW!

Because of the promo picture of Dean with the bunny, the second I saw him chasing this guy my brain started singing “Little Deanie foo foo running through the forest, hunting down the witches and shootin’ em in the head” which is admittedly kinda dark and fucked up but when have I ever claimed to be anything else

I really like how this chase sequence has been shot

That pink/purple magic light that Dean got blasted with made me think of the Rit Zien in Heaven Can’t Wait, and for a second I thought Badham directed it, too, but then I realized I was just connecting things in my head (Dean calling Cas Tony Monaro in HCW —> John Badham directed Saturday Night Fever)

BUNNY!!!

Actual Disney Princess Dean Winchester snuggled up with a bunny in the forest

I hope Cas finds out (“There was a rabbit? WHERE DID IT GO? SHOW ME THIS RABBIT.”)

Regarding the bunny, though… It’s surely there for a reason, because in film you don’t work with animals unless you really need to. But it never appears again. It’s never mentioned again.

Is it an Alice in Wonderland reference, and if so, what could it mean? Is it just because of Dean saying “And why does the rabbit always get screwed in the deal? The poor little guy.” back in Malleus Maleficarum? Is this happy little bun just there to make up for the fact that the rabbit usually gets turned into a spell component? The only other thing that’s coming to mind is Looney Tunes, because “It's wabbit season” and “I don't think you pronounced that correctly.”

Anyway, I’m really stumped on this one.

OH OH NO ACTUALLY— maybe I was onto something with the Malleus Maleficarum reference. I mean, that was used in the Then sequence, so let’s go with it. This bunny was happy and munching on leaves and getting snuggled and petted before it hopped off on it’s merry way. This rabbit didn’t get the raw end of the deal. Maybe that’s related to the whole idea of Dean being—in some ways—better off forgetting all the crap. Maybe? Idk. Please tell me your theories because I must know #TheMeaningOfTheBun

So this episode is set in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. I looked the town up, because of course I did. Sometimes the places where episodes are set have cool facts about them that line up with the episode plot, so it’s always worth checking.

The whole city of Eureka Springs, it turns out, is on the National Register of Historic Places. That’s pretty neat, because history—>memories—>memory loss. It’s also famous for haunted houses and ghost-related phenomena, which is cool because SPN, though it wasn’t really touched on. Also, it…. well, it’s a pretty queer town, y’all. As of the last census, there were 2,278 people living in 1,119 households. Of those households 250 are unmarried partner households: 50 heterosexual, 110 same-sex male, and 90 same-sex female households. 17.87% of the households in Eureka Springs are queer. And that’s just the couples who live together. Plus they have three seperate weekend-long lgbt+ events every year, plus a week long event for pride. Like… this is a queer little town in the middle of Arkansas. Which is just an interesting thing to know, considering how much subtext we’re about to be smacked in the face with.

SPEAKING OF SUBTEXT! Get a load of that smashed up phone. Dean can’t communicate with Sam. Dean can’t access the information he needs.

“I was like, ‘Andy—the dog is vegan, how can you give him—“ *snortlaugh* but also seriously never force a vegan diet on a dog jfc

I spy Kuma!

Hmm look at this Dean can’t get what he needs from the woman and the baby but he can from the dude dressed in pink and blue >_>

I’m not sayin’ nothin’ I’m just sayin’

UNKNOWN CALLER

I mean, obviously it’s gonna say unknown caller, but just. Dean is gonna stop being ~himself~ as Sam knows him so this is just delicious storytelling

Dean: *waffles about waffles* Sam: ????? Dude whose phone Dean’s using: *keeps working out while checking his pulse because damn this weird guy I’m letting use my phone is hot in a slightly scary way*

I was about to make an “ugh Dean, why ruin a chocolate-saucy waffle with gross banana” comment but then I realized—and please, bronlies, feel free to latch on to this as your new source of pointless hatred—that he eats the waffle stacked high with the most phallic fruit (banana) but leaves the waffle stacked high with the most yonic fruit (strawberries) and then I decided to let his briefly terrible taste in food slide

Poor long-suffering Sam

“Well, I’ll text Mom, make sure she knows to get ahold of me in case of emergency. And Cas, in case he tracks down Kelly.”

\o/

I love it when absences are noted early on

“Right. The devil baby mama drama.” pffffffft

Dean’s drinking coffee AND juice :’) what a good balanced meal

Wait, this is the girl people were saying was “a teenager” and that it was “gross” that Dean might have hooked up with her????? Y’all. She’s like 30. She played a scientist in an episode of Arrow in 2013. She’s a grown ass woman.

That slap is excellent

Hey there, random cute morgue staff person! Come back and tell us your name!

Oh, ew. I’m with Dean on this one. That bag of blood-soaked money is super ick.

“I guess it’s true what they say… Mo’ money, mo’ problems.” Dean you’re a fuckin dork and I love you

“I hope you’re still drunk.” pfffffffffft

“Looks like he certainly, uhh… made one hell of a… uhh….” “Enemy?” “Enemy, yeah! Those guys.”

Sam’s face:

Dean’s forgotten which key is the Impala key and I’ve forgotten how to EVER BE HAPPY AGAIN

….Sam, maybe it’d be a good idea for you to offer to drive right about now

“Who’s Dean?”

D: D: D: D: D:

I MEAN WE KNEW THIS WAS COMING BUT IT’S SO EARLY IN THE EPISODE

ONLY 9 MINUTES IN OH MAN

EVEN THOUGH I’VE APPARENTLY ALREADY GOT 1000 WORDS OF NOTES OOPS

“I told you, I’m fine.” “You forgot your own name.” “Yeah… for a second. That was weird.”

Dean, hon…. I realize that the metric by which you measure weirdness is a little different to everyone else, but c’mon.

All this abstract art in the motel room… fragments of color. Nice.

*Dean casually references Finding Dory*

“Not gonna apologize for loving that fish. Not to you, not to anyone.”

I mean… I don’t wanna be that guy, but also… like. There’s just someone in this show who’s been linked to fish a bunch, that’s all.

“Name all the members of Bon Jovi.” “Pff, ok. We talkin… circa 1983?” “Sure.” “Done. We got… Bon Jovi… whatever, this is stupid.”

oh, Dean

“This is a gun! This is a coat! This is a… uhhh…. light stick.”

THIS IS MY CONFLICTING EMOTIONS BECAUSE HE’S ADORABLE BUT ALSO MY HEART IS BREAKING

“Don’t go calling Mom or Cas with this.” DON’T WANNA WORRY THE FAM, SAM

Look at Rowena scamming a bunch of dudes in a presumably illegal card game. My hero :P

All the computer stuff she’s surrounded with is making me think of Charlie

@ show: pls don’t make me think of Charlie unless you’re gonna do the thing

Dean’s so pleased with the tiny vodka! But like… maybe don’t drink when you’re already suffering some kind of mystical brain damage.

“Am I saved to your contacts now? Tell me—have I got my own ringtone?”

I hope she does have her own ringtone. I hope we get to hear it sometime.

“From the neck down, is he smooth like a Ken doll?” “What? I don’t know. And I’m not checking, either.” pffffffffffff

Sam’s face when Dean says the last thing he remembers doing is getting ice is the most perfect example of DONE that I have ever seen

Dean stop stealing cigars they’re bad for you and they stink

I can’t believe we’ve had two weeks in a row of Sam just… suffering like this lmao

Poor guy, someone please give him a vacation after this. A yoga retreat or something. Two weeks, minimum.

PICKLE JACK SHACK ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

AND LOOK AT THE SIGN

THE PICKLE IS POINTING DIRECTLY AT “BULLRIDING” I’M CHOKING

“If you’re gonna apologize, you’d better make it quick.” I like Elka already

(Looked up that unusual name, by the way. It’s a Hebrew name meaning “Oath to God”)

Agents Moon and Entwistle. REALLY. IN THE MEMORY LOSS EPISODE THEY’RE USING MEMBERS OF THE WHO AS THEIR ALIASES? REALLY? GODDAMNIT, GLYNN.

I’m gonna need to know what the “sick jams” were that Dean queued up on the jukebox

“Oh yeah. You had the hots for Larry as soon as you walked in.”

I’m

???????

Honestly, someone send Meredith Glynn a fruit basket for that one

“He… you rode Larry?” Sam doesn’t know which way is up and I love it

Aaaand all that Dean cares about is whether he was any good at it or not

Funny how with his memories missing he doesn’t seem to give a crap about looking like a tough manly macho bro…

So from what Elka says it kinda sounds like she and Dean maybe made out & then made plans to hook up later? So Dean never had sex with her, and his dry spell continues. Huh.

“You poor thing, you were all roofed up. I didn’t—I am so sorry if I took advantage of you.”

*waves this under Bucklemings noses* do you understand consent yet? Because everyone else seems to.

Dean reading his own lips: “Now… salsa… you… mittens.”

*snortlaughs into oblivion*

“It’s like I’m watching myself on Netflix.” And now Jensen is going to watch this on Netflix. The levels of meta are getting out of control :P

That whole zoomy-flashy moment when Sam recognizes the witch was hilarious to me because I’m watching such a shitty low-res stream that it was like BLURRY FACE! BLURRY NAMES ON DOOR! BLURRY PHOTO! BLURRY JACKET! and then Sam figures it out :P

“I know how to shoot a gun?!” oh, dean

Annnnd now Dean’s lost more memories :( This episode is a constant rollercoaster of “aww he’s so cute” and “aww how many more times is my heart gonna break?” tbh

He’s so impressed with what they do as hunters and I am an emotion

Yellow Fever reference! Dean’s manning the flashlight!

“Wait, so djinns don’t grant wishes, and sirens aren’t all hot chicks?” THANK YOU MEREDITH GLYNN FOR THIS LIL REMINDER OF DEAN’S MALE SIREN

MAY YOU FIND A DOLLAR IN THE STREET EXACTLY WHEN YOU NEED IT

“I dunno, we kinda sound like heroes to me.”

I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING

(okay I am kinda crying)

*Dean looks at a handprint on a tree* *Dean breathes out whoaaaa while touching the handprint* *Dean suddenly and totally coincidentally remembers that Cas exists*

“AND our best friend’s an angel! Whhhhhaaaaaaat!?”

HE LOOKS SO HAPPY AT THE THOUGHT I’M GONNA SCREAM

*super dead guy laying on the forest floor* Dean, mildly horrified: is that a dead guy?

So, wait—it took the other witches this whole time to find him?

“Ooh, your hair! It’s so… so bouncy!”

I cannot deal with this cuteness while I’m simultaneously crying send help

“Do we have to fix him?” pfffff

Oh my god, Dean. No it isn’t live skinemax *headdesk*

There’s a post-it on the art that says ART lmao

Anyone else getting flashbacks of Hunteri Heroici Cas while Dean’s sitting there giggling at cartoons? Everyone? Cool.

“He’s already begun to forget himself. Everyone he’s ever known, ever loved. Even you. Soon he’ll forget how to speak, how to swallow… then, Dean Winchester’s going to die.”

Sam’s inner monologue: he just did that two weeks ago, isn’t it a little soon?

“Sucks for that guy!” oh dean ;-;

Man, I realize it would have been a long and talky scene and therefor unreasonable to include, but I wish we could have seen Sam telling Dean his whole life story

I just noticed that Sam and Rowena are wearing the same colors…. plus all this witchy talk….

*witch!Sam senses tingle for second time in two weeks*

OH NO IT’S THE THING

THE BIT FROM THE THING

THE BIT WHERE DEAN SAYS THE STUFF ;0;

“My name is Dean Winchester. Sam is my brother. Uh… Mary Winchester is my mom, and… Cast— Cas is… my best friend.”

Rowena workin’ an angle to get her hands on a good book. I feel u, babe.

“My name is Dean W—Winchester… my… my name is… my… my name is… is…”

MY ENTIRE SOUL JUST LEFT THROUGH MY TEARS & EVAPORATED INTO NOTHING

“You just killed their brother. They’d sooner wear your skin as an outfit.” ROWENA DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH WHEN I’M THIS DISTRAUGHT I CAN’T DEAL WITH IT

“M… I don’t know.”

Fidgeting Dean! Always good to see (though right now I’m kinda still broken so)

I… I didn’t notice this the first time, but that poppet has a rather distinctive hairstyle >_>

When I watched this live I tweeted “I want to know which poor schmuck is connected to that voodoo doll btw” but now it seems that an alternate universe version of the dumptruck just got his eyes poked out by Dean “I killed Hitler” Winchester, so I’m just *chinhandsing* about it

Thanks, props department. Haha

“Once, a beautiful witch was—again—run out of her homeland by those pompous, self-righteous, murderous hooligans. You know them as the British Men of Letters. She sought refuge with a family of witches. All she wanted was a roof over her head, and a safe place to hone her magic, yet they threw her out, like… like common trash. Said she wasn’t up to snuff.” “These witches sound like dicks. I think you’ve got plenty of snuff.” :’) DEAN IS SUCH A SWEETHEART WHEN HE DOESN’T HAVE ALL HIS GUARDS UP AND I AM SHATTERING INTO A THOUSAND PIECES

Rowena forcing herself to say nice things to Dean & hating every second of it is giving me life

Dean’s face when Rowena casually mentions meeting God and his sister is amazing

Like, before he was asking “who am i?” but now he’s asking “who AM i????????” lmao

I love that we’re getting a little more of a look at Rowena as a person <3 and I feel like we discussed her disillusionment with the idea of power recently, so this is especially nice to see brought out into the text in actual words

BOOP

THE HELL KIND OF FUCKED UP BUTTERFLY MAGIC IS THIS WITCH USING ON SAMMY’S PRECIOUS EARS??? D:

“Your brother has been kidnapped by a witch. Found your stupid car and left you here.”

Did… did Rowena magic him into the car? Or did she somehow carry a man twice her size and dump him there? I’m gonna go with magic.

STAY pfffff

Why do these witches have American accents if they’re from the old world?

“How you begged. How you threw yourself down and offered yourself to each of us.”

Welp Rowena is bi now too sorry I don’t make the rules

“You know what they say. Nothing heals old wounds like opening fresh ones.”

Are…. are you sure that’s the saying >_>

I love that Sam was half expecting Dean to somehow end up at the Impala

the giant NO! on the grenade launcher lmao

I mean… it’s safe to say this is Chekov’s grenade launcher at this point, right?

Rowena looks so dramatic against the wall

Yikes, Catriona O-O

OH NO DEAN’S AT THE FORGOTTEN HOW TO SPEAK STAGE D:

BUT ALSO THAT LITTLE “WITCH KILLING BULLETS” NOTE WAS HILARIOUS

“No no no! Brother—witch!” and Dean just believes him right off the bat. I want to hope that’s just because he kinda remembers on some level because it’s Sam, but I’m concerned that he was actually just like “welp, ok if you say so” :P

“Who’s this hippie?” Dean you’re such an asshole lmao

“Can’t believe you called Rowena.” “Can’t believe you rode Larry.”

Sam is never going to forget that lmao

I hope they meet a random witness or cop named Larry soon, just so Sam can glance over at him and raise his eyebrows meaningfully

“Hey—I was awesome on that bull. I was like a god.”

Like… a god on this show? Like Chuck? Oh, hon. You’re right in so many ways.

HMMM SAM HAS THE BIG BOOK OF MAGIC THINGS NOW HMMMMMMMMMM

This whole talk at the end is making me think of Dean’s conversation with Cas… peace or freedom.

JESUS CHRIST

SLOW MOTION MECHANICAL BULL DEAN I’M DYING

oh my god

they had to intersperse this with clips of him being forgetful and cute so the whole audience didn’t have a collective sex aneurism from watching him grip that thing with his thighs

also this song HURTS what the fuck

broomstick cowboy is the most bleak horrible song about a little boy playing pretend and his dad being like “yeah enjoy the fake gunfights there kiddo, because you’re gonna end up going to war when you’re a grown up and this is all just practice disguised as play” and if that’s not the most upsetting song to associate with someone like Dean (and Sam) then I don’t know what is

again, they must have decided to hurt us all as a further precaution against sex aneurisms

because damn

ALSO BACK TO A HAPPY NOTE

HAPPY DOOFUS DEAN RIDING ON THAT MECHANICAL BULL IN FRONT OF ALL THOSE LOVELY PINK AND BLUE AND PURPLE LIGHTS? THAT HAPPENED BEFORE HE GOT HIT WITH THE MEMORY LOSS SPELL. THAT’S JUST PLAIN OLD DEAN. WHO HAD THE HOTS FOR LARRY AS SOON AS HE WALKED IN. AND WAS LIKE FUCK IT, I’M GONNA RIDE THAT MECHANICAL BULL AND I’M GONNA LOOK HOT AS SHIT WHILE I DO IT.

AND LOOK! HOW BLISSED OUT AND HAPPY HE LOOKS AT THE END WHEN HE FUCKING LIES BACK

LIKE JFC DEAN DID U GET OFF ON THE BUCKIN’ BRONCO BECAUSE IT KINDA LOOKS LIKE YOU DID

CHRIST ON A CRACKER

ALL THE OTHER THINGS

Passed Bechdel-Wallace!

More sweet, sweet, witch!Sam possibilities... I really hope something comes of this.

I could have done with a little more Sam (he was very reactive in this episode, but I don’t feel like he had a lot to do) but that’s a very minor gripe considering that this was clearly intended to be a study of Dean’s character

Dean rode Larry pre-curse. Just. Just think on that for a moment.

DEAN WINCHESTER, WHO WAS OF SOUND MIND, VOLUNTARILY RODE THE MECHANICAL BULL AND LOVED EVERY GODDAMN MINUTE OF IT

I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER ANYTHING ELSE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE OF THAT FUCKING MECHANICAL BULL

Also, this episode had Charmelo & Snyder levels of bi!Dean subtext and I hope that @f-ckyeahfutbol comes back soon so we can all appreciate their reaction

#cass says things #meta adjacent #thinky thoughts #season twelve scorecard #12x11 Regarding Dean #spn s12 #supernatural spoilers #spn spoilers #fandom: supernatural #I have a lot of feelings

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sueboohscorner · 6 years

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#TheWalkingDead Season 9 Episode 5 "What Comes After" In-Depth Recap And Review

I honestly have no words...

Sunday night's episode was the true embodiment of a rollercoaster ride through Hell and back. Rick Grimes' last episode damn well ended with a bang and it deserves an Emmy. His final episode was one for the records because, in my opinion, I feel that it may have been the best episode of the series. But, that's just me. One thing for sure is that Andy's acting in "What Comes After" was superior and amazing. Until the next time, Sheriff, until the next time.

Episode 5 opened up with a glance outside of a hospital room while a massive swarm of birds flocked nearby. And, to be more specific, Rick's Atlanta hospital room. The present Rick was telling Rick of old that he needed to wake up. We heard Morgan's voice ask Rick what his wound was. Pulling his hand up covered in blood, he suddenly hears the comatose Rick telling him he needed to "wake up, asshole" as a bunch of helicopters flew at him. When he woke, he was on the rebar being engulfed by two hordes slowly closing in. Rick being Rick, acted quick and hoisted himself up and pulled himself from the rebar. He crawled onto the panicked steed which almost dumped him again then quickly was straightened out and on a steady trot away from the community fork.

In the next scenes, Jadis was in what appeared to be Heath's RV. (Could this be what happened to him?) Her radio comes on, and the man from the Junkyard communication came on asking for a status update. She tells him she has his 'A' and is at a location near the Junkyard. She tells him she needs them and is desperate. She tells him that she'll be ready. Rick is leading the massive horde and fighting the fading. He's telling himself that he has to stay awake. In between fadings, Rick's flashing back. He sees the farm, the overturned car that landed him in the hospital and the hospital bed he woke in. When Rick comes back, walkers are close to grabbing him. He kicks up the horse's pace until they're far enough away. Maggie and her guard spot a walker. Maggie tests out her crowbar and kills it... overly kills it. Rick is fighting another fade when he spots a mailbox and kicks it into hyperdrive. The horse runs, and Rick gets off. He stumbles into the shack and finds evidence of someone dying in there. As soon as he sits, he passes out.

Rick begins to hallucinate that he is leading that massive horde back to Atlanta. When he and the white horse come into the city and round the bus, Shane is seen sitting in their old squad car. Someone asks "what's your wound?" Shane laughs and says, "Damn cowboy, you look like shit." The scene shifts to Rick asking Shane what "this" is about. The two are in the old squad car looking out at the overturned car that they shot up. Shane tells Rick that he knows what it's about. "You know, you say you're looking for your family when you should be saying you're looking for my family. How's my baby girl anyways? She has my eyes, doesn't she?" Rick laughs and says that she has his nose. Rick calls Shane an asshole and Shane says that he is THE asshole. Shane calls Rick one too. Shane calms things down and tells Rick he really stepped up to the plate and even took a page from his playbook. Rick apologizes for what he did to him, Shane tells him that he needs him to regain that fire, that rage. The fight of the machete and freak that he ripped his throat from. Shane suddenly jumps at Rick and yells "wake up!" just as a walker is about to chomp down. Rick can avoid the flesh eater and kick open a shut door. He crawls to the horse, and the horse takes off.

Michonne was working on expansion plans and taking care of Motherly duties when Scott came by to tell her that Maggie was there. Michonne rushed out to intersect Maggie and to talk her down. Michonne said to her that killing Negan would only start something they didn't want. Maggie begged Michonne to tell her something that would work to take away the anger and the hostility but she couldn't. Michonne handed over the keys and Maggie went in. After laughing, Negan asked Maggie, "she just gave up the keys, huh?"

He admitted that although Michonne had the sword, Maggie had the fire. Shocked, she asked if he remembered her. He did. She told him that was good and to get on his knees. Negan immediately began to taunt her with things he knew would put her on tilt. He began to tell her that her screams echoed as he bashed Glenn's brains in, that killing Glenn was rather enjoyable and that he hoped she had the guts actually to kill him. After he knelt, she told him to get into the light. When he wouldn't, she drug him out. He looked awful. Negan then began to beg for her to kill him. He begged and taunted. He begged for death, but she wouldn't give him that. No. "I came to kill Negan. You're worse than dead." She told him to get back into his cell. He does as he cries. (Damn, that broke me apart.) When Maggie left, Michonne saw that there was no blood on the crowbar. Maggie sighed. Maggie's guard ran up and told them that there was a problem at the camp.

Rick is fighting the fading as best as he can, but it finally catches up to him. He passed out on the horse's back. He flashes back to Hershel's farm inside the barn where Hershel waited for him. Rick embraced Hershel and apologized for his death, Beth's, Glenn's and blamed himself. Hershel told Rick not to worry about Maggie or his grandson. Rick tells Hershel he's looking for his family and what he wished for him and Carl hasn't been an easy task. Hershel tells Rick that 'it' will happen for all of them. Rick tells Hershel he's tired. Rick asks Hershel if he will find his family where they were. Hershel tells Rick that Rick has to wake up. Rick does for a moment then passes out again. This time, he visits the Atlanta hospital hallway where you hear a male voice ask "what's your wound?" Rick stumbles through the corridor and shoves the hanging wires. He goes to the "DON'T OPEN DEAD INSIDE" door and opens it. The light is so blinding but when it dims you can see thousands upon thousands of dead below Rick's feet. Daryl, Maggie, Beth, Rosita, Jesus, Carol and more lay lifeless below his feet. Then, Sasha stands. Confused, Rick says "They're all dead." Sasha tells him "yeah, and it's okay." Rick asks her why its okay that they're all dead and she tells him that they all served their purpose just like she did, he did and that endless one before them did. Rick tells her that it feels as if its all ending and Sasha tells him that little things do come to an end, but as a whole, it continues. Sasha tells him that no one truly dies and that nothing revolved around anyone in particular. "I don't think it just evens out. I think it always crosses over. Toward good, toward the brave, toward love." Sasha tells him that he won't find his family because his family isn't lost. Sasha tells Rick he isn't lost. Sasha tells him he has to wake up though and he does. By hitting the ground. Rick's horse runs off from the camp and walkers from a previous battle linger. Rick kills them quickly, but the horde is approaching fast.

Rick gathers the strength to throw dead walks off of him and begin to wall toward the bridge. He stumbles quickly ahead but falls. As the walkers near him, he watches as help comes. Daryl, Michonne, Maggie, and others rush to take down the pack. Michonne begins to him and tells him that it's not over because "we don't die." She tells him that she fell in love with him because he is a fighter! Because he never gives up. He says that they're his family but "this" isn't real. "I found you." He tells her. She says it is real and he has to wake up. When he does, he's at the foot of the bridge with walkers comic for him.

Rick stands up and stumbles to the other side. He smiled as they began to cross but frowned when the bridge held up. He turned, and a walker was about to bite down when an arrow came flying in. Daryl nodded at Rick. Michonne, Maggie and Carol ran to try and divert the pack, but there was too many. Rick stared for the longest minute then noticed fallen TNT. Michonne calls out to Rick as he raised his Python. "I found em." He fired, and the entire bridge blew. Daryl stared in shock and began to cry (as did I again), and Michonne went ballistic. Maggie and Carol held her back as she fought them and cried. In complete shock, Daryl walked away without a sound... Jadis saw the black smoke and radioed her man. She looked down the river and saw all of the bodies floating. As the helicopter nears, she spots Rick! He's alive! She radios that she has a strong "B" and wishes to make the trade still. After a moment, the helicopter lands and Jadis goes to Rick. When Rick comes to, he is oxygenated and bandaged up. She tells him that he's going to be okay. The helicopter flies away without a single interruption.

In the final scene of the episode, a group is seen in that exact field six years later being pursued by a pack of walkers. They fight but they are quickly surrounded by walkers suddenly drop, and a small voice tells them to hurry her way. They do. She asks for names, and the head woman tells the girl that its "Connie and Kelly, Luke and Yumiko" and herself was Magna. When they ask for a name, she picks up Carl's sheriff hat, holsters Rick's python and has a small katana. "Judith. Judith Grimes." She tells them.

What did YOU think of Rick Grimes' final episode? Let me know in the comments below!

Honestly, this is one of if not the best episode of the series for me. Although Rick did leave, it was still amazing. Both Andy and Jeffrey Dean Morgan were stellar in this episode with their scenes as well as Danai. But Andy's performance was that of award-winning. Andy, you will be missed. I love you; I can't wait to see you back in action in the movies coming soon!

Author/Editor: Joeleen Gatlin

#TheWalkingDead #Rick Grimes’ final episode #Andrew Lincoln

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wordsmiff-blog · 7 years

Text

I take drugs every single day of my life.

… and these days… it is very much EVERY single day without fail - if I can help it.

Truth is that my drug-taking has become so engrained in my routine and so normalized over time - that sometimes I forget to even take them.

I imagine that those statements above may sound a little shocking to some. To those lucky souls who don’t need drugs to improve their experience of life… but read on… I’ll clarify.

My drug of choice? Well these days - it’s 20mg of Paroxetine - once a day.

Yep.

After spending …. hmmmm… a fair amount of my time here on planet Earth self-medicating - I have finally stumbled upon something that sufficiently scratches my itch - so to speak… without any significant dire consequences.

The harsh truth is that the default setting of my brain appears to be pointed towards ‘Impending doom/fear/anxiety’ and things have always been that way since I can remember.

I cannot speak for other people, I certainly can’t speak for those that I imagine must wake up with a positive feeling of gratitude in the mornings (do those people actually exist?) because my experience of Life is certainly nothing like that.

No…

Since I was a child, it would seem that my brain has been programmed to constantly tell me … from the moment I open my eyes in the morning … that something terrible is about to happen, to try to convince me that an unspecified disaster is just around the corner - and that… because of that threat… perhaps I should just shy away from 'Life’ and not get involved.

After all, if you don’t sign up for The Army… you probably won’t have to hide in a trench and dodge bullets 24hrs a day … right?

Wrong.

The problem with Life - is that you cannot avoid it.

Try as you might, invariably, at certain points… it forces you to get involved.

As fearful and as timid as you may feel, Life gives no fucks about your emotional fragility and just mercilessly shoves you in the back … and pushes you out into the big wide World…

So … how does someone with anxiety, a sensitive nature and zero understanding of brain chemistry deal with that conundrum?

To summarize … the issue that presented itself to a young man full of fear, insecurity, and a severe lack of serotonin in his brain - was that - despite being shit scared… Life just refused to piss off and subsequently keep forcing me to get involved.

The main reason that this problem seemed impossible to solve at the time was that I did not realize or even understand that the balance of chemicals in my brain was totally fucked up.

Dopamine and serotonin are fundamental chemical building blocks for enjoying this experience of 'Life’.

These chemicals, amongst others, are responsible for making you feel 'happy’, 'excited’ and all that shit.

It since transpires that my brain produces the square root of fuck all in these particular departments.

I always suspected as a kid that my brain worked slightly differently to the people I knew… though back then I didn’t know how to communicate or express that concern… I just thought that I was 'weird’ or 'different’ - an outsider, doomed to a life of isolation and constant worry.

What I realize now is that even as a child, I was effectively… what would be diagnosed in an adult as … anxious and depressed.

Unfortunately at the age of 11, something happened - which at the time seemed like a complete miracle … but turned into something of a curse … I found a total cure for my symptoms - and it happened in an instant.

I smoked my first joint.

The only way I can describe it is … imagine when you were a kid and you were trying to trace a picture … if before the spliff … the tracing paper had been off center with the image below, I couldn’t hold the tracing paper still and the lines I wanted to follow were not in line with the image underneath… well - once I had taken two puffs of this joint… suddenly the tracing paper and the image underneath it were now perfectly matched and effortlessly in synch.

So whereas beforehand Life had always been a struggle and a huge effort to go along with, out of nowhere - after smoking this joint, (and what I now know to be the very first introduction of THC into my brain box), Life suddenly made sense. In fact, suddenly 'everything’ made sense.

Music sounded better, I was instantly more at ease inside my own skin and inside my own mind, colours were more vibrant, I understood more, my perception of time slowed down, my concentration levels were intensified and I had a more Spiritual understanding of the matrix of how life works … and on top of all of that… the absolute master key… I no longer felt sad, worried, fearful or anxious. At all.

Everything was completely as it should be, how it was always meant to be and I was filled with a surge of relief and a peace of mind that was so powerful and seductive - I recognized it as the feeling that had been missing from my existence for as long as I could recall.

Looking back now, I am able to recognize that the chemical imbalance in my brain has always been evident and had always been a huge barrier to my ability to enjoy Life… at 11 - I did not have the awareness to realize that there was a serious underlying mental health problem that I needed to address - I had only the very limited knowledge that if I smoke a joint, I felt normal.

… and so I did that.

A lot.

Fast forward to when I’m 18, even at the time, I am completely mindful as this experience unfolds - that I am boring a poor barmaid to death - as my skinny insecure, wiry human shell struggles without the required level of mental fortitude and self-confidence to pull myself up and out of that inevitable nose-dive into teen angst and awkwardness… it’s painful even now to think of that conversation.

I remember it vividly though, because moments later, I tried my first line of cocaine - and if smoking puff made me feel comfortable… then sniffing gear made me feel invincible…

You know the old telephone box scene where Clark Kent enters and exits seconds later as Superman… that’s what happened in that toilet cubicle on that particular evening in an empty bar in a foreign land. I might as well have fucking kicked the door off and stood there with chest expanded and my fists resting on my hips. Imaginary cape billowing in the wind.

I had seemingly stumbled upon the perfect prescription to successfully self-medicate … well enough to go forth and confidently battle with my mental dis-ease at just being alive, I self-medicated so well that I was even functioning to a rather high level for the most part…

This caused a host of problems… in fact more than I could ever even wish to list - but here are 3 important ones.

1/ I now know that I am different to most people in that I suffer with a three fold illness known as 'addiction’. No ability to take it or leave it for Bob once he likes something.

2/ As I was doing so well at masking the genuine mental health issues that were the underlying cause of my reliance on drugs and other things I could use to change the way I felt, I could just ignore those really deep issues … for the most part. Ahhh… so you are scared of your own shadow… so what? Have a puff of this spliff…. feel better? Of course you do…

3/ Drugs stop working. Eventually. First though, you start to become a little more immune to them bit by bit - and so before they turn on you completely, you find yourself upping your dosage.

This knowledge and a million and one other things I have learnt so far in recovery has given me a different perception on things, it has taught me more than I could ever even express let alone hope to encapsulate in a single blog entry.

What I know about myself now, with the continued support and love of people around me, means that rather than getting half a gram or two on a Friday night or smoking two joints before work every day (which I maintain improved my performance, it was the crippling paranoid delusions and near on psychosis towards the end that really ruined weed for me) - I am now letting a trained medical professional diagnose my symptoms and decide on which medicine I should take.

The point of this post is this….

Drug addicts are everywhere… YOU are a drug addict … your Mum is a drug addict… as is your Nan… whether you change the chemical composition of your brain with a cheeky bar of cadburys fruit and nut… enjoy those couple of glasses of rosè when you get in from work… or treat yourself to a take-away on a Friday night… you are using chemicals/drugs to change the way you feel. That is no different to the man who smokes a joint or the kid slipping down the slippery slope into addiction.

The difference? Stigma.

We laugh about having a little sugary pick me up throughout the day… and we raise our eyes knowingly in collusion with someone else’s story telling tale at work about the half a bottle of wine the night before … that’s how they cope.

That’s okay though, because that’s socially acceptable.

Yet it’s not okay to say that you woke up feeling so scared you didn’t want to get out of bed.

It’s not humorous enough a subject to just nonchalantly mention that you never asked to be born - and truth be told - unless you have a line of gear, you’d rather put a bullet through your incessant mind, stop the fucking rollercoaster and clock out of this incomprehensible, overwhelming, seemingly futile existence - where the aim seems to be to try to see how much you can love other people - whilst all the time being simultaneously and completely aware that the unforgiving certainty of death for either you - or the people you would struggle to be without - is just around the corner.

No… you can’t say that.

Wine is okay. Drugs are bad.

The problem being - someone who is self-medicating with 'illegal’ drugs is clearly … if we are measuring by societies standards… mentally unwell. Yet, if they cannot talk about their reliance on their drug of choice in relation to how it helps them to cope with the magnitude of being alive, how can they receive the help they need to transfer themselves onto more manageable medication whilst they do the necessary work on themselves to hopefully… learn the cognitive behavioral tools that recovery teaches… to be able to one day live and even …God forbid … enjoy life … without any chemical assistance?

Mental health problems account for so many lives lost, so many lives shattered.

No one should be so unhappy that they decide to punch out early and take their own life.

No one should be walking around filled with so much fear and hate and rage that they use violence against another person - ruining families and costing themselves their own freedom.

No one should be so intimated by life and be so full of fear and insecurity and anxiety that they spend their entire lives trapped in a miserable solitary prison cell of addiction and lies, existing… but never really living.

Yet we do.

All of these things are a consequences of untreated mental health problems.

Drug addicts are not well… people in prison are not well… people who are suicidal are not well… and that will always be the case, until we stop fucking judging people and start finding it in our hearts to learn to love each other unconditionally, and allowing an environment amongst humanity to develop where it is okay not to be okay.. an environment where is it okay to tell people about the complete and utter madness that goes on inside your head.

Before I walked into a recovery meeting… I was certain that I was insane… and it turns out that yes.. I am… but so a lot of other people … and that means I am not alone. I have people who help me, and I have people who I try to help.

So yes… I am a drug addict. Happy to admit that: but I am a 'recovered’ drug addict… in the sense that I no longer take drugs that cause my life to become unmanageable and cause my soul to wither away and want to die.

Yes, I am a drug addict and I take drugs every single day of my life.

Fortunately, because of having people around me that I could openly talk to about this stuff and because I have maintained an honesty in my life since those dark times … these days… my drug of choice is 20mg of Paroxetine - once a day. Every single day without fail. If I can.

#anxiety #addiction #mental health #communication

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