#I just had to say this somewhere

[wizardwithnogoodspells]

Now if you’re anything like me you’ve been tirelessly working to answer this one question that has kept me up for so many nights: if Wallace of Wallace & Gromit fame had an Eidolon, what would it be?

The playbook choice is simple, Wallace would be an Alchemist. Now most people would assume the power would be cheese related (Big Cheese by Nirvana being a great name too) but the man loves cheese too much to use it for violence! Plus, turning everything into cheese? Is it one kind or many kinds of cheese? It’s too convoluted for such a simple man. I’d also believe he has quite enough cheese to go around, so why make more? You’d just ruin the cheese economy!

Well that got me thinking about the other accoutrements that go hand in hand with cheese, and what’s the one he seems to run out of? The one he forgets? THE CRACKERS!!!

That’s why I believe Wallace’s eidolon would be [Puttin’ on the Ritz] which can transform any flat surface it touches into crackers. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

#eidolon playtest #i just had to say this somewhere

[daggersandarrows]

i’m having a lot of feelings about seeing more people of color on critical role. i have spent so long both consciously and subconsciously working to appear white. i was raised “white”, i was taught to conform in the exact same breath that i was taught to speak. (quite literally--spanish was not spoken around the house except as a secret; trini slang only comes out when my mother gets very emotionally heightened. i speak like a white person, because for me to learn spanish was for me to “reject the gifts of america”, and people can’t understand my mom unless she adopts her deliberate american accent).

i’ve spent so long learning that this was the only way to acceptance; you pretend to be the same, you take every single microagrression, every single “of course it was two black girls ‘working’ when i got there, standing around and talking no doubt”, every stranger putting a hand in your hair, every “jesus, speak english”, and you pretend you don’t see it, you don’t hear it, you don’t feel it.

you pretend you approve. and that’s the only way to stay safe. that’s the only way to move up in the world. “sticks and stones” was repeated so often in my household that we only needed to hear the first three words to know what mom meant. “sticks and stones”. you’re getting too worked up about racism again, remember, just pretend you’re fine and you will be.

you are invisible, you are fine.

i consume content made only by white people because why would i consume anything else? if my goal is to blend in perfectly why would i look for stories that speak to me about the part of me that i’m doing my damndest to hide?

i made the mistake of stumbling into creators who love themselves enough not to hide. i felt almost betrayed, watching aabria dm for exu. no one ever told me it was possible to sink your teeth into that kind of gentrification-critical worldbuilding, to say it with your whole chest, and not...immediately get ostracized by all your white friends?

(to be clear: i know matt’s doing something very similar in c3, and that’s great. but it is inherently different to say that kind of thing without fear when you’re a poc.)

it’s nothing huge or obvious, but the unapologetic claim that the cast holds on their identity is simply indescribably touching to me. when i was a kid i badly wanted to be “a punk”, and in my mind this was obviously just a white person thing--how could it have been anything else? it was all i saw. super pale skin and stick straight hair was a requirement. so i tried to make myself whiter. staying inside in the summer and spending hours straightening and damaging my hair. i squashed myself into this ill fitting box because it never occurred to me that i could be both black and punk.

and that sort of continued as i got older. cosplays were all model-esque white people. how could i be both hispanic and a cosplayer? how could i be (someone who rode horses, liked video games, was a nerd, a theater kid, hell, someone who fucking enjoyed themself in any way outside of the very specific stereotypes i was given to act out)?

to see aabria dming, playing a high powered and highly emotional woman, mica’s cosplays and her riding adventures--mica playing a literal angel (black angels, guys! how many black angels have you seen outside of the past five years?), aimee playing a character with questionable morals and cool hair, khary playing a disabled character who also somehow just gives off raw sex appeal?, robbie playing a socially awkward, soft, affectionate guy with an appreciation for fancier stuff, erika’s gender fluidity and sheer enthusiasm for everything (getting too excited wasn’t cool, it was too “white”, an actual thing my mother said to me--i know, double standard), anjali’s mixed affection and exasperation as a sibling figure, and more recently lou and luis...i didn’t have this stuff as a kid. i wasn’t allowed to see myself as anything but one dimensional, so i had to alter myself to either fit that one dimension, or pretend to be who i wasn’t so people would accept that i had more than 2-3 emotions and character traits.

i wasn’t aware that it was possible, to be any of this without flattening myself. i wasn’t aware that there were white people out there who wouldn’t immediately hate you for unapologetically existing in their space without squashing yourself into their box.

#this is long and rambly and probably incomprehensible #and maybe i should delete it #i just had to say this somewhere #critical role #thane.txt

[pinklehasadhd]

honest opinion.

i don’t like addison rae

HOWEVER

ngl her and her PR team are so incredibly fucking talented. name one other influencer who has managed to become an actual celebrity in the way that she has. name one.

it’s talent. i don’t like her or her content but absolutely admire her

#addison rae #idk what to tag this as #i just had to say this somewhere

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[courfee]

oby jeggy is a different kind of dsfkdsf so here is them from the first fic in that series, i will touch you with my mind by my love @itsjaywalkers

#i fully ignored how cars work man there is a steering wheel somewhere technically #i looked at so many reference pictures of car interiors and realised #(after already having commited to the angle) #that this is not a view you could get from two people sitting in the front seat of a car. but alas. we ignore cars #less ignorable is the fact that somehow not just the car anatomy but also the people anatomy in this would just not work. how do legs ????? #i tried my best but even 24601 references couldnt help me out here so eh... #but laurie screamed at me about this yesterday so id say i succeded in what i had actually wanted to accomplish :) #jegulus #jegulus fanart #marauders fanart #regulus black #james potter #james x regulus #marauders #regulus black fanart #james potter fanart #starchaser #sunseeker #regulus x james #marauders era #hp #mine #my art

[bookwyrminspiration]

being an older sibling is like. you've never known a life without me. mom yelled at me and it taught her she never wanted to yell at you. I painted my room purple and grey and then you did too. we live in the same house but I haven't spoken to you in months. I don't know your favorite color. I saw it was going to rain so I picked you up from school on my way home so your books wouldn't get wet. i was so worried when you woke up sick when you were three. you don't remember being sick. mom and dad made their worst mistakes with me and I'm glad they didn't make them with you. I'm doing everything for the first time so you won't be in the dark. I don't know any of your friend's names anymore. I used to know them all. if something happens to mom and dad you won't have to worry because everything will fall to me. you don't like to be home alone but even if you don't see me just knowing I'm there makes you feel better. at least that's what mom told me. you still give me jars to open for you because you can't quite get them. I only see you during dinner. i'd never even think about missing one of your concerts. I stand at the counter when I eat and now you do, too. when offered a selection of books you picked the same one I did when i was your age. I'm terrified you compare yourself to me. I love you. I don't know if you like me. I want you to. mom says dinner's ready

#quil's unholy underworld #siblings #sibling relationship #older sibling #eldest sibling #listen. #does any of this make sense #this has all been just circulating in my heard forever and I had to put the words somewhere #so now the words are on tumblr #do you get what I'm saying #i don't know who my sister is but like. we're right next to each other. she's just down the hall #something something it's already a poem just look at it it's on the ceiling #but instead it's we're a poem just feel it we're standing right here

[ingoodjesst]

have you put the pieces together yet, detective

#goro akechi #akechi goro #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #p5 akechi #p5 spoilers #persona 5 fanart #jesst some art #i may have worked on this for... just under two weeks? i had like. so many fckgin thoughts i might make a process/concept breakdown post #it's honestly just for my own peace (haha piece) of mind because i overthought about. SosoooOoOo many motifs and symbols and i just wanna #idk PUT EM ALL somewhere........ maybe it'll become its own jessay of mine. god. who can say. #also DUDE tumblr rly does crunch up quality wow ouch #unironically a core thematic inspiration for this piece is a quote from the folding ideas' video 'the nostalgia critic and the wall' #'it doesn't all make sense or resolve or coalesce because we don't all make sense' #'everyone is the illusion of order constructed brick by brick out of chaos' #i've watched that video essay through at least. a dozen times at this point. everything about it. yeah. it's good. #this piece initially went many different directions and i have realized ah yes to fully explore just THESE themes that i'm interested in as #they relate to goro akechi i will need to draw. at least two more pieces. sdlfhsdlkfjsd

[podcast-hemocytoblast]

It would’ve been really awkward if Jon had just kept running into former Statement givers in public. Like, imagine you’ve spent months dealing with some fucked up eye creature haunting your nightmares to feast upon your fear, but then you spot him at Tesco as he’s pulling out a calculator to figure out which loaf of bread (on sale!) offers the most bread per pound (🍞/£). How would you cope with that?

#the magnus archives #tma #jonathan sims #jarchivist #i’m just saying. if jonathan jarchivist sims had lived somewhere without a huge population like london. he would’ve 100% had to suffer the #‘teacher spotted by students in the produce aisle’ experience #and honestly i think it was an act of mercy on the Web’s part not to make this happen to him on a regular basis #also i just think jon is the kind of guy who would bring a calculator to the grocery store #it’s his ocpd swag i think. (i know he isn’t canon ocpd but to me. he has ocpd with ppd traits) #(someone has to bring a fuckton of personality disorder headcanons to this fandom. and that someone is me.) #(it ain’t much but it’s honest work)

[whatimdoing-here]

WARRIOR NUN | Ava calling Beatrice, "Bea"

Request from my @commander0fmyheart but who wouldn't want it.

#warrior nun #wn spoilers #avatrice #sister beatrice #ava silva #L I S T E N #the first time ava said it in ep 1 i was like 'WAIT HAS SHE CALLED HER THAT BEFORE' #so then i have a headcanon that somewhere in that two months when they were becoming besties #ava just said it one day and it stuck #because she says it whether she's happy sad frustrated... all of it #the LAST TWO THOUGH destroy me #also that bea's plague ava also used 'bea' #i just can't i can't #mine #mine: warrior nun #look tag vomit lmao #not quite every instance but close. #again the last two... from 'sorry i gotta do this' #to 'sorry i had to do it and now it is done'

[timdoubleyou]

i found jay’s black jacket (an ID guide)

This black jacket is worn by Jay about 9 times throughout Marble Hornets, including his final appearance. And after some weeks of on-and-off research, I think I know the exact make and model.

This post will detail exactly how I found it, and serve as a guide for anyone that wants to find the jacket, whether that's for cosplay purposes, or if you're just keen on collecting items related to MH.

Main post under the cut

Intro

The first step to identifying the jacket was to gather as many references as possible.

I went back to the web series and took screenshots from any entries the jacket makes an appearance. (shoutout to mg549′s very comprehensive MH wardrobe guide, without it this would’ve been much more of a pain)

Jay's jacket is, for the most part, very plain. It's a solid color, full-zip jacket, without any particularly eye-catching logos or other details. I had to look for moments where even the slightest distinction appeared clear on camera, at least as distinct as it can be. Even if it was just close-ups to get the shape of a zipper, or how many buttons are on a sleeve, it was the best I got. While I did manage to find a decent amount of these, there was just one crucial detail that would've made finding it near-impossible; the brand is never shown. Thankfully, I had another resource.

In 2018 Troy Sold a Lot of Stuff

In early 2018, Troy officially announced that MH would be continued in a comic series. To fund the first issue, he held a number of auctions for production items used during the web series on Ebay.

These included items such as Jay’s camera, Brian’s hoodie, A Masky mask, and Jay’s black jacket.

Lo and behold, the jacket listing includes a picture with the brand in clear view. It's from Gap.

Ebay does not archive sold listings older than 90 days. However, Worthpoint, a website for valuing and pricing collectibles, does. Using Worthpoint I was able to find all of these items, (and a lot more, which can be found in this doc I submitted to Archive Hornets)

Identification

With the picture from the listing and the series screencaps, I had a complete ID list.

(Top image is from the Ebay listing, with the contrast adjusted a little for easier viewing. The bottom two images are from Entry #79)

The Gap logo (This specific logo dates the jacket being made anywhere between 1986 and 2009, when it first appears).

Front Zipper (Note the shape)

The two front pockets

The two buttons and pointed cuffs on each sleeve (Second one is a little hard to see but it's jusstt peeping out at the side)

The blue piping in the inner lining

The zipper in the right side inner lining

The gray mesh inner lining

With these in mind, I could now go to the next and longest step-

Finding the Jacket

I combed three resell sites; Ebay, Depop, and Poshmark. My main goal wasn't to actually purchase the jacket, (although, I would like to at some point) but to find a jacket listing that had every identifier, and have a more definite baseline for finding others. I needed to be sure what I had was enough to properly ID the jacket. The references I had stitched together were decent enough, but I wanted to see if there was something better out there.

After tons of page scrolling and tab-switching and comparing and contrasting, I finally got lucky.

(first two images are from crashthecloset's listing on poshmark, last six are from shannfo-76 on ebay)

I haven't bought one myself as of posting, but I feel pretty confident this is it. The jackets were already sold, but every marker seemed to be accounted for. It also revealed new ones, like the reflective pattern and pockets on the inner lining, (zipper on the right side pocket, button on the left pocket) and the materials tag.

With that, here's some final notes that may be helpful if you try looking for the jacket yourself:

Online sellers often describe it as a light jacket, a windbreaker, a 2-in-1, or 3-in-1.

"Gap Mens Black Jacket" is the search phrase I used the most since it yielded a (very) broad result pool.

Most of the jackets I found came from Poshmark or Ebay.

The exact size of Jay’s jacket is unclear. My best guesses are either a US Men’s S or M, since Jay was pretty skinny and of average height. I’ve only been able to find maybe 2 jackets that are a size M, one of which is the first pic in the photoset above.

Gap has sold other black jackets that look remarkably similar to Jay’s, and they do pop up on resell sites. One of these was so similar, the only discernible difference was the style of the logo. I highly recommend making sure it matches the exact one Jay had before purchasing. (It's also more than fine to ask/msg me if you have any doubts!) As long as you know what to look for, you shouldn’t have a problem finding at least one.

One detail that confounded me was this sleeve poking out of Jay's jacket. At first I thought he was wearing a long sleeve underneath, making this shot a continuity error since he appeared to Only be wearing the green short sleeve under the jacket.

@hivemite pointed out that this might be a two-in-one jacket, which has multiple layers for different types of weather. While I have not been able to see the sleeve outside of two shots in entry #79 and #80, one listing I found did describe it as a 3-in-1.

that's about it! hope this helps :)

#marble hornets #jay merrick #ref #over and out #long post #happy entry 80 day. heres some extra tidbits just for the tags #at least two listings called this y2k which is really funny. #it is also strangely difficult to find these in sizes smaller than large #another thing kinda related. worthpoint is a shitty site unfortunately #as you can see with the jacket description. in which it apparently ‘‘works and comes with a charging cable’’ #<- i mean that Couldve been an error on the original ebay listing #however that is. impossible to verify now unless someone somewhere had a screenshot #but each mh item from this particular auction there had consistently bad errors that inclines me to say that wasnt the case #ok this went too long for a few extra tidbits but can you tell i lost my mind

[thegreatyin]

Same spouse!!!

my personal headcanon is that every player with this item is married to every other player with it

that's hilarious. accepted

#personally i just mentally lump in every npc the scoundrel WOULD marry that isnt properly marriageable #the blind pianist is part of the procession. in my heart. #ask #fallen london #tbh the scoundrel has a lot of attachment and... shall we say. commitment issues. dedication issues. #they're probably a very hard to get along with spouse and im not entirely confident half of the procession arent like #random interactions they had one night and then drunk way too much absinthe and suddenly woke up married to them. #as you do. #but also there maybe is a speck of the capacity for love SOMEWHERE in their little heart. MAYBE. if you squint #rrrrrrrreeeeaaaallllyyyy hard. and pull out a microscope. and tune it all the way up. and use a second additional microscope. #there just might be a speck in there. it's like the grinch but they just get worse instead #also i think caeru is part of the procession probably solely for tax reasons or something and they're Both petty and squabbling over it

[baeshijima]

mmm thoughts of private executioner!blade, who is high priestess!kafka's bodyguard. well, more like her guard dog, as many fearfully seem to think.

he is aloof and gruff and rough around the edges, his name capturing it perfectly. when in the eyes of the public he either keeps to himself or stands ready by kafka's side, but when out he lurks in the shadows ready and waiting to carry out her death orders.

you, yourself, haven't had very many pleasant encounters with him... if you can even call them that. that being said, you haven't had many pleasant encounters with anyone. notorious for your... less than pleasant disposition, for a lack of better words, you have more people who'd rather see you run through than those you can call a friend.

in a dog-eat-dog world, you had no choice but to protect yourself. that, however, ultimately became your demise.

"oh? so you're the one sent to kill me. can't say i'm all that surprised."

standing before you is the feared executioner. his sword is tucked inside the sheath attached to his hip, that ever-present dark swirl of an aura stifling the air. he doesn't say anything, instead opting to silently stare down at your slumped and worn-out form. you find that his gaze doesn't bother you; rather, it's oddly comforting knowing someone will see you in your last moments.

"i've never asked you for a favour before, so this will be my first and last request for you." in all honesty, you're not sure where this chattiness stems from. considering you're currently in a holding cell under the crime of attempted murder towards kafka (a poisoned wine you were most definitely framed for, though you can't say you were surprised) and are awaiting for your turn to be under the guillotine for your public execution, you probably should be a little desperate towards the private executioner in front of you.

and yet, your mind is nothing if not peaceful.

with a huff, you relay your request, "can you make sure it's quick? painless, preferably, but i'd rather you just get it over and done with."

silence blankets the cold chambers. moisture accumulated along the cobble ceiling drip in a steady rhythm, like a clock ticking away the seconds. it's unnerving, almost, how there is not a single sound other than your impending countdown.

"why?" comes his low mutter, effectively causing a ripple within the stagnant air. you almost think you misheard him, but his following words cease the thought, "why won't you ask me for help?"

had it not been for the abrupt shuffle and clanging against the metal bars, you would have never looked up to see him in your last moments.

his scarred hands gripping the metal until his knuckles turn a ghastly white and blood dripping from his palms is what greets your sight. as your gaze slowly trails up, you almost let loose a laugh of disbelief; who would have thought blade, the infamous guard dog of the high priestess, could make such a desperate expression? one looking as though his whole world crumbled before him, in which he can do nothing but sit and watch.

(you will never know of the anger and desperation which coursed through his veins the moment he heard of your predicament. had it been anyone else, he wouldn't have cared. but you're not anyone else; you're you — unapologetically, wholeheartedly. it didn't take him long to hunt down those behind it, cutting them down without thought and putting an end to their miserable lives. he rushed as soon as he could when kafka gave him the order, no thoughts other than you, you, you, occupying his mind.

you will never know of the anguish which overcame him when he found you in such a state, your once healthy complexion and defiant gaze reduced to nothing but a tiredness which had always sat quietly behind your disposition. he's almost positive the muscle which unwillingly keeps him alive tore at the seems from your request, the acceptance in which you displayed causing his mind to go astray. even as he damn-near begs you to rely on him for help — to run away with him to some place no one knows of you and start anew there — you merely smile, resigned and peaceful.

you will never know of how much blade is willing to put on the line for you, for you never made it to see the complete and utter carnage he wrecked in your name.)

#what was initially a teehee shower thought became an ueue scenario #this was going somewhere and and then it got longer and longer and then took a severely angsty turn wtf #originally was going to keep this on the blog but then i cried at the end and decided it had to be let free <//3 #im sorry blade i love u i really do but that just means i need to put u through the emotional wringer haha... ha... a.... #oh and also blade is kafkas bodyguard bc she promised to help find a way to cure him of his curse #(<- the mara/immortality equivalent wow we love unneeded lore !) #and yeah. this is me saying i have too many ideas and aus and idk what to do with myself so im blurting them out here #this is yet another cry for help 🥹 #sophie talks : concepts <3 #blade x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #blade x you #honkai star rail x you #hsr x you #honkai star rail imagines #hsr imagines

[fatuismooches]

Alright I know I'm only supposed to talk about the Harbingers on here,,, but I really can't get this little thing out of my head so please indulge me 🤲

Breaking up with Neuvillette (angsty I know but hear me out). Due to his important position, he has a large workload and you often don't see him, resulting in you feeling lonely. Not to mention he's bad at showing emotion and his face kind of has the same expression all the time which makes you uncertain if he even enjoys your presence at all. Along with some other things, you just feel uncared for and think that he doesn't love you (which is absolutely not the truth) and ultimately break up with him. And it just gets you more upset when he doesn't even seem to react that much!

But right after you leave, it starts to... rain. For some bizarre reason. It usually only rained during trials. So why was it raining now? But you soon lose interest, after all, it doesn't concern you. But the weather remains horribly murky and gloomy for the rest of the week. A lot of people wonder why, the old story of the Hydro Dragon being sad popping up here and there, but no one could ever know for sure. Little did you know you were the cause of this rain. And you had no idea how much your ex was hurting now.

SO basically just angst to fluff hurt/comfort mutual pining as the two of you want each other back so badly but literally cannot hold a whole conversation anymore since you're still bitter about the whole thing while he's trying to be respectful as possible (his heart is breaking every time you refuse to look at him and the weather goes to shit five minutes later)

OH but the Melusines love Neuvillette so they automatically love you a lot too, they think you two are the perfect couple! So you can't just go and break their hearts about the breakup! This leads to you having to still act like a couple every now and then with Neuvillette in front of them so as to not raise suspicion which is the hardest thing you've ever done.

#smooches talks #neuvillette x reader #alright im done. im done. im sealing my thoughts back up #he was just so amazing in the quests i needed to say something #if anyone wants to write this or anything. pls do #I LOVE NEUVILLETTE SO MUCH!!! he's so sweetie. HES SO CUTE!! #i thought hed be mean BUT HES SO KIND??? i love him dearly #i just had to talk abt him somewhere and this is the only place i can

[cfeather]

yjh’s birthdays in different world lines

#i just #that line in the 0th turn when yjh goes like "just because i'll forget about them doesn't mean they'll stop existing #and then he says i shall pray that you may continue to exist somewhere too #like HELLO #the fucking. love #it's enough to know that they're happy somewhere #that they still exist somewhere #AND LIKE. yjh the lonely pilgrim of the apocalypse whose birthdays had lost meaning to him #those birthdays were still being celebrated by the people who remembered and loved him #they definitely still existed somewhere #his story touched so many people #AAAARRRRGRGGGHHH #ORV #orv spoilers #yoo joonghyuk #my art #reposts from twitter

[inkskinned]

what is considered "beautiful" by society is inevitably sexist, racist, ableist, classist, transphobic, and bigoted. it targets and attacks any perceived difference, and it particularly villainizes women of color while co-opting aesthetics; as if features and cultural norms can be worn as accessories.

and the scary thing! you can see all of these things, know them to be true logically, and also know that you are treated better if you are perceived as beautiful. if you have ever been treated as "ugly", you know exactly how much society reviles you if you don't manage to scamper along and perform to their rules.

and how are you supposed to balance that? do you want a nose job to fix your broken nose, or have you just recently been seeing videos about how many people look better after nose jobs. do you want to lose weight to feel good, or is it that when you lose weight people treat you better. do you want to wear this outfit, or is it just the thing that's least likely to get you harassed. do you want to get lip injections for your reasons or is your whole reason that you don't feel beautiful unless you get those lip injections?

and the definitions shift. the goals get more specific. in the way that you only become aware of your tongue when someone mentions it; parts of your body are introduced as problems. i had never heard the term "hip dip" until about a year ago - and it was in the context of how to get rid of this. i'm 30, i know this shit is invented, and yet! i still find that strange voice saying but do you think someone is going to notice?

how the fuck am i supposed to say "this is my genuine choice i am making for my body" when i also know that years of my life have been spent socializing me to accept this as my inevitable fate? how do i know i'm actually doing this out of love for my body - or am i doing it for how i want others to see me, which will be lovely enough to feel loved? how am i supposed to recover when my unhealthy habits are seen as self-discipline but if i relax i'm openly mocked for "letting time win"? how the fuck am i supposed to say "i'm doing it for me" when i'm also very aware that i'm doing it to stop myself from being teased or demeaned? is it my choice if the other option is being bullied?

we are living in a hostage negotiation - either consent to the demands or spend the rest of your life being treated like you're a despicable person.

#i also have things to say about how gender plays into this #but it became like 1450 pages #so i saved the rest in a draft #btw? hip dips used to be like valued in the 90s & 2000s during the ultra thin craze #which is so fucking wild to me bc i am old enough to REMEMBER that people WANTED them #bc they're literally the shape of your bones. they're your hipbones showing. & you literally CANNOT 'target' that area #that would be like targeting your elbow. it's a fucking JOINT. #it is a place where you either do or do not carry mass. the lower ur bodyfat percent and the higher ur thigh & glute strength #the less that you will carry weight there #which is even MORE fucking cruel bc !!! the type of people who are already trying to improve themselves helplessly #are going to be aware of their body! and ur literally GIVING them an insecurity they LITERALLY do not decide!!!! #“it rounds out ur figure” here's something my guy! maybe people shouldn't have to look uniform and sleek !!! #maybe you just want to fuck a manatee !!! #if we're really at the point that you have to apologize for LITERALLY HAVING BONES..... #like sorry my legs had to connect somewhere in my form :( i will hide that from u. my apologies ur honor #(fashion bloggers gagging bc there's evidence other people have skeletons)

[babydarkstar]

so many griddlehark doomers on this website. smh my head…….theyre doomed by fate AND the narrative to be intrinsically intertwined no matter what. i cannot conceive of a finished locked tomb series where theyre not lying dead in each other’s arms or existing together in some fugue state of unbeing. not even death can separate the lesbians that scratch each other bloody and then cry in each other’s arms. they have been fated to orbit one another literally since their conception. one flesh one end, bitch.

#also harrow literally lobotomized to forget gideon and she still couldnt in the end #anyways i often think abt the whole #‘i gave you my whole life and you didnt even want it’ #and the thing is like. yeah gideon. she didnt want it because she never wanted to lose YOU who was attached to it #you who she just bonded with. has had a very tumultuous girlbestfriend situationship with #when i think abt how young they are i fucking scream #this is why i hate john gaius. insane man. kill him to death alecto #tlt #griddlehark #tlt spoilers #anyways. thinking about the saddest girl in the whole world tonight :( #this is a john gaius HATE account all my homies HATE john gaius #anyways. why is everybody so so scared that theyre going to have a terrible endgame #baby theyve already been falling through a terrible endgame thru the duration of their entire existence #i will say. if harrowhark ends up with anybody else i’ll have to off myself #i support womens wrongs but ianthe can go be wrong somewhere far away from harrow #im about to go through the entire series again so i can screenshot and prove why im right about this #theres a narrative thread to follow #and never once have i been afraid of them not finding their way back to each other #the thing is like. above everything. these girls exist to orbit each other #gideon thinking harrow is her past when harrow has always been her present and her future #harrow thinking gideon’s death will be her undoing #because to harrow. gideon is unable to die. she WOULDNT die for so long #and when she found something to die for. she went to it with her whole being #but heres the thing. one flesh one end is more than just becoming one body and dying one death #idk im incoherent i need to talk abt this in a post instead of tags #i will. soon