#I love being an unemployed video editor | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vas-happenin-team · 4 years

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my personal thoughts and experiences from Unus Annus, be warned this is long...

i apologize now if this is messy I am trying to get my thoughts in order so this is probably going to be ramble-y... One Year. There is so much that can change in one year and so many opportunities that pass us by and almost just as many regrets. And I am so glad I didn't let Unus Annus pass me by, even though it almost did. When i think of the past year I can't say that this was the year that I hope for but I definitely think this was the year I needed A a former friend of mine (who is a a HUGE Markiplier fan) tried to show me Unus Annus back in December. I think they showed me a couple videos but the one that stood out to me was the Escape Room video (probably for the fact that I was high, and thought Eef was very cute and very funny, but that's besides the point). I enjoyed the videos they showed me but a never really got into the channel and didn't watch anymore Unus Annus videos with them. I regret not watching more with them. At the time I knew who Markiplier was, I had watch his FNAF videos when I was younger and was subscribed. But I had no idea who Mark Fischbach as a person. And I had no idea who Crankgameplays or who Ethan Nestor was. I wasn't emotionally invested with them so I didn't really watch. A few months went by I was no longer in speaking terms with the friends who showed me the channel, the pandemic hit, I graduated college, i moved back home, i was unemployed, and incredibly lost. With graduating in May and being home all the time I spent more time on youtube. I don't remember how, but I ended back on Unus Annus again. And by July I was hooked. Not only did I began binge watching Unus Annus but I was also subscribed to Ethan, watched both his and mark’s videos, and become part of the different communities. As I am reflecting back on this time I can see how the message of Unus Annus, and by extension Mark and Ethan, started to influence me and help me for the better. Cause I was, and still am, struggling with my mental health. While I don't want to give them all the credit, the idea of only having so much time and questioning myself on whether or not I wanted to be a passive on looker in my own life, lead me to discover just how unhappy i was. I decided to therapy and getting the help I needed. And while I am still not 100% and that the reminder that life is slipping us by and I feel like I wasting it still stresses me out and causes me anxiety. I have to remind myself that I am making progress, and while this isn't ideal, this is the best I can do at the moment. It also helps looking at both Ethan and Mark. Mark, who was around my current age, when he decided he was going to make something of himself, reminds me that it is never too late to give yourself a happy life. And Ethan, only a year older than me, is living his out his dreams currently, but that took him 8 years to get here. Ethan, who has a very similar personality to me (in fact i think our myer-briggs is the same) also reminds me that I don't have to hide the loud and silly parts of my personality and that I can find people who will accept the different parts of me and want to help me succeed. One of my favorite aspects of the show would be where they would say "Memento Mori. We will see you tomorrow." I think liked that so much because it was a concrete promise in a year of unpredictability. Because I knew for certain, that no matter what happened, I would see them tomorrow. And while we might no longer see them tomorrow when the channel ends. It still feels like a promise, because even with the channel gone, the world still turns and there is a still a tomorrow. A tomorrow where Ethan and Mark still upload on their channels. A tomorrow, even as time marches on, we will remember Unus Annus and how much it had an impact on our lives. Because one thing is for sure, we aren't all the same people we were a year before. We grew and changed and Unus Annus helped shaped a year of our lives. So while we won’t not be able to "see them tomorrow" in the future. The impact of the channel will be seen in the future by the millions of people that it had an impact on. Even in this last few months I have seen some positive changes in my own life. While I am normally a lurker in the different fandoms I am a part of. I stepped out of my comfort zone and started to interact and create more for the Unus Annus community than I had before. And I did this because of the idea of "why not, we only have a limited time" and I wanted to make my mark. While I still struggle to interact with other blogs outside a random response or anon message, I was still able to find some people in this fandom to follow and appreciate. Thank you to @johanna7290 , @heistshenanigans , @lady-raziel , @tiny-crecher , simpgameplays and so many more blogs who helped make my experience in this community even better by not just taking any moment for granted, and really made the most of this year. Thank you as well to the blogs who have interacted with me on posts, sent anons, or even followed me. Thank you to the artist, the writers, the meme maker, the gif creators, the video editor, and the theorists for making this year even more unforgettable.

Finally to Ethan ( @crankgameplays), Mark (@markiplier), Amy, Evan, and all the editors and guests of the channel, thank you. Thank you for giving me something to look forward to everyday. Thank you for making something so full of love, humor, and friendship. Thank you for the laughs and the good times in a year where they were hard to come by. Thank you for the hidden codes and lore that kept us all on our toes. Thank you for challenging yourselves to go further beyond, and encouraging us to do the same. Thank you for introducing me to a community full of hilarious, smart, and caring individuals. Thank you guys for being authentic to yourselves. Thank you for all the memories. Thank you for all the merch. Thank you for giving us a year. Unus Annus Memento Mori ~Lexi

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finishtheboat · 5 years

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Tell Him (Colby x Reader)

Hey beautiful people!

Here goes my first Colby fic. I have no idea if its cool or if its shit, but I’m happy with it.

Pairing: Colby Brock x Reader

Warnings: A couple swear words, pink fluffy unicorns, Colby getting a little hurt (not much tho he okay).

Requested: Do I look like-

Notes: The first words are lyrics to It’s A Hard Life by Queen. It has nothing to do with the story but its dope af. Another thing, the reader has brown eyes and is referenced later on in the lyrics of Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison.

Okay that’s it, hope you enjoy, for real!

So you are Sam and Colby’s video editor and obv, you are in love with Colby. This is the first time you go explore with the bois (Sam, Colby and Corey) and a spirit might end up being your wingman.

Word count: 2240

“ You win, you lose, there’s a chance you have to take becau-“

An abrupt break of the car gets you out of your daydream. You hold on tight out of reflex to the car door as you quickly take off your headphones in the verge of screaming. After two seconds that went by in slow motion you hear Sam and Colby laughing their asses off while the car takes up to normal speed again. You were sitting on the left back seat and turn your head to see Corey, eyes extremely wide open, and both hands hanging on for dear life to the car door. You look back to the shotgun, Sam, still laughing his ass off, and understand that you are in no danger and that it was all a joke to scare Corey, who was asleep.

Y/N: Jesus fuck guys!

COREY: You jerks you almost gave me a freaking heart attack I swear to God.

Y/N: Did you even record it?

COLBY: You know what Y/N? Sometimes the best pranks are meant just for us.

You start to mock Colby as he talks, you do that when you can’t come up with a comeback – which doesn’t happen often-, or when you want to make Colby laugh – which is a constant mood in your life-.

SAM: I think we are close now

Close to where? You might ask. Well this story starts about three months ago, when, after a couple months of living in LA unemployed, you went to a job interview to become a video editor for an “online video creator”, in other words, a youtuber. The pay was enough for you to get by, and you would be doing what you love. The story got really interesting for you when you got to the interview and realized that, if you got the job, you would be editing for Sam and Colby, as well as their separate channels. Even though you were freaking out inside you nailed the interview and long story short, you got the job.

Little by little you started to get along more and more with the boys, not only Sam and Colby, but also with the whole gang. After a month and a half, you started appearing in some of their videos. It became a running joke for them to address you as their editor, asking you to put crazy effects in the video, or just talking shit about you. You decided to add to the videos reactions of you while editing. The fans started to love you and wanted more of you in the videos. Today was gonna be the second time you were officially in a video, the first time being a basic-ass YouTube video absolutely irrelevant for the narrative. Of course, people had started to ship you with Colby, which wasn’t unexpected, all you had to do was:

1. Be a girl.

2. Address/talk to Colby somehow in a video.

3. Look at him during said video.

Fans would ship a seaweed with Colby, you weren’t surprised that happened. What fans did not know – and you didn’t want them to – is that you actually liked him. Really liked him. Cantstopstaringatyou kinda like him. Maybe loved him. He obviously didn’t know this either, he is technically your boss, and your job was more needed than romance. Besides, you were kind of confused since you usually never liked babyfaced-hairless-fuckboylooking guys like Colby

So there you were, accompanying the dynamic duo and Corey to explore an abandoned psychiatric hospital. You had asked to come since you love exploring, especially paranormal places, and they thought that you would bring more views since people really liked you. The hospital was an hour and a half away from Sam and Colby’s place, which was kind of a long ride, Colby was driving.

Y/N: So Sam, tell us a little bit about this hospital, what is up with it.

SAM: Oh well, the usual, psychiatric haunted hospital were people hear things and feel people observing them and all that, nothing particularly new.

Y/N: Please don’t make it sound any more exciting or my cranium will explode. (you say sarcastically)

SAM: Well, its juts the same thing over and over. It’s just that something different happens in every place we go to.

Y/N: Okay so I think it’s time for you guys to tell me… how real are your videos? Do I have to like, pretend I see shit or…

They all chuckle

COLBY: Well we exaggerate everything, specially Corey. Like… we hear any sound and we are all like “omG WhAT wAs tHat” you know?

SAM: It also depends on the video, I have faked things in the 3AM challenges ‘cause nothing would happen otherwise and the video would be useless. But we usually don’t fake things in the exploring ones.

Y/N: You know I could expose you right now with this info right?

Sam laughs and then looks dead serious at you

SAM: I would have to kill you then

COREY: Queen Mary was real tho… (says while staring blankly out the window)

Y/N: I know…

Everyone turns to look at you, even Colby through the rearview mirror.

COREY: How can you know?

Y/N: I don’t know I… It feels real I guess.

The car stops, you look out the windshield and see nothing but trees.

Y/N: Is this it?

COLBY: Yes, it’s about half a mile through the forest.

Before going out to explore, Sam and Colby shoot the intro, giving Corey and you facts about the hospital.

We get to the main wing without much difficulty, there was a hole in the fence so in case of having to run away from cops we would be fine.

COREY: Omg it’s so cold tonight

Y/N: Actually I thought it was gonna be colder. This sweatshirt is super warm. (You say referring to the XPLR hoodie that Colby let you borrow for the video)

COLBY: Looks really good on you.

Your brain just short circuits and it takes you a full couple seconds to react. You decide that the best thing to do is to make funny gestures as if you were posing for a photoshoot. Surprisingly, it makes Colby laugh. Everything was being recorded but you weren’t worried about it since it was you who was gonna be editing it HEH.

You explore the ground floor, where nothing paranormal really happens, although everything looks creepy as fuck. When you get to the second floor you feel as if the air is getting thicker.

SAM: You okay Y/N? (Says pointing the camera at you)

Y/N: Yeah its just… the air feels heavier here

COREY: Yeah I feel it too

Y/N: Maybe we should try and contact something here

The guys look slightly surprised about what you just said.

COLBY: Yeah let’s do it (says kind of excited). Do you wanna do the honors Y/N?

Colby takes the spirit box out of his bag. Corey obviously acts as if he was against it. You sigh, a little scared, and take it. You turn it on – it’s not the first one you have ever used -. You take a deep breath.

Y/N: Hello?

The only sound in the whole hospital is the static of the box going through the radio channels, but you feel like you can hear everyone’s hearts beating.

No answer.

Y/N: If there is any entity here with us, please make yourself known.

[?]: Tell him…

Everyone jumps and screams, your eyes wide open, there are some swears from Colby, while Corey does the classical tuning-around-and-pretending-to-walk-away. You glance at Colby for a split second without even realizing, getting the feeling that the entity is talking about him. You make a gesture for everyone to shut up.

Y/N: Tell who?

No answer. You all look at each other in confusion

COLBY: Tell who?

[?]: You (says a female voice) tell her (in a male voice right after) ”the brown eyed girl” (right after landing in that part of the song, the radio goes back to static)

The entity is talking about you. Colby freezes. Sam gasps deeply, he knows Colby is in love with you, and can tell that you love him back. Can this be it?

Colby looks up, your eyes meet.

COLBY: (Looking at you dead in the eyes) What do I tell her?

Your blood freezes. A sudden loud thud makes all of your head’s turn

SAM: We need to go NOW.

You all start running towards the exit, you were really far from it, after a little while, you all stop to check if anyone is following you. There is not a sound around.

SAM: What do we do?

COLBY: It doesn’t seem like anyone else is in here.

COREY: So what the hell was that thud?

Y/N: Maybe it’s just a fucking thud for once you know? (You say irritated)

Corey looks back at you surprised and a little hurt by your answer.

Y/N: Sorry… I’m just a little freaked out.

COREY: It’s okay… me too.

SAM: Should we keep on exploring? Should we go?

Y/N: Let’s keep exploring, if we hear another inexplicable sound we take off.

SAM: Okay sounds good

You keep exploring for another while, nothing weird happens, just the usual painted walls with satanic symbols and dirty walls that make it seem as if there are shadows behind you.

You all exit the room you were in, with less hope to find something each time, and not really wanting to try the spirit box again. After almost a minute you realize Colby is not there.

Y/N: Where’s Colb-

A loud noise interrupts you as if something really heavy has fallen. The loud thud is followed by Colby’s screams. You start sprinting towards the source of the screams, the last room you had gone into. Everyone follows right behind you. When you enter the room you see a wardrobe over one of Colby’s legs. You run towards him.

Y/N: Don’t move Colby stay still! (you yell)

Colby looks at you with terror in his eyes, begging for help.

SAM: (Frozen) What happened?

Y/N: Sam help me lift it up! Corey you pull him out on my sign. (You say almost screaming)

You and Sam lift the wardrobe on three, its really heavy and when it seems like you are about to lift it enough for Colby’s foot to get unstuck, your arms give out a bit. To your surprise, the wardrobe does not fall back on Colby’s leg. Thanks to Sam you manage to lift it enough for Corey to drag Colby out, who instantly helps him up. Colby is almost crying. Both Sam and you let go of the wardrobe, making a huge thud as it hits the floor.

SAM: Let’s get the fuck out of here.

Both Corey and you put Colby’s arms around your neck and walk as fast as possible. You manage to get to the car in no time, with your hearts pounding, your lungs burning and your eyes watering.

SAM: I’m driving.

Corey helps you put Colby in the back seats.

COREY: You sit with him, I’ll go in the front.

You nod rapidly as you get in next to him. All the doors close within milliseconds appart as Sam starts the car and hits the gas.

You tear up a bit, waiting for your heart to stop racing. You wipe out your tears as they come out, trying to hide them.

COREY: We need to go to the hospital.

COLBY: I’m okay guys (with a shaky voice) It’s not broken.

SAM: You don’t know that!

COLBY: I’ve broken bones before and it is not fucking broken we are not going to the hospital.

SAM: What the hell happened?

COLBY: I don’t know... I just stayed behind cause I felt something in the room and next thing I know I am on the floor with a wardrobe crashing my leg.

A few seconds of silence go by until the guys notice you are upset, although you are not crying anymore.

COLBY: …Are you okay Y/N?

Y/N: ARE YOU STUPID WHY WOULD YOU WANDER OFF LIKE THAT? (voice shaking) YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL HOW DANGEROUS IT IS. (You start to tear up again) WHAT IF THE FLOOR GAVE OUT? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA- I- (you stutter) FUCK’S SAKE.

Colby takes your hand and caresses it softly trying to calm you down.

COLBY: I’m sorry.

You wipe out the few tears and breathe deeply as you look away from him.

COLBY: Thank you Y/N, thank you guys… really. That was very scary.

Y/N: Thank Sam… if it hadn’t been for him the wardrobe would have fallen right back on your leg… My arms gave out on me.

SAM: What?

You look up at Sam, confused. He takes his eyes off of the road for a second to look at you. You demand an explanation with your eyes.

SAM: I… my arms gave out midway… I thought you lifted it…

Y/N: What?

You all look at each other with your mouths half open, looking for an explanation from the others. No one says anything.

COREY: We need to look back at the footage as soon as we get home.

You all nod in response.

After a deep sigh you look at Colby, he looks exhausted. You don’t really think it twice and you cuddle up next to him, holding onto his arm and laying your head on his shoulder. You feel his head resting on yours and you breathe deeply as the fear fades away.

#sam and colby #colby brock #sam golbach #corey scherer #jake webber #trap house #xplr #colbyxreader #colby imagine #colby fanfic #tfil #elton castee #overnight #paranormal

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comicteaparty · 4 years

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June 27th-July 3rd, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from June 27th, 2020 to July 3rd, 2020. The chat focused on the following question:

If you could do your webcomic for a living, how would that change things in regards to how you work on it (if at all)?

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'd definitely put out more content, cause I could focus on it fully every day of the week.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i would probably start hating it and get burnt out

Deo101 [Millennium]

thats why I would also have to start another comic or do short stories on the side or something, too.

I would probably keep individual comics update schedules the same, I'd just do more comics

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

If it became a part-time job, I don't think anything would change. It kind of feels like that already. If I were in a position where it became a full-time job, I do dread how my relationship with the work would change. I don't think I could ever make as much doing comics as I do in my day job (which isn't crazy, but is comfortable) so I don't know if I could ever 100% transition unless it was really, really worth it It's something I've thought about a lot, for sure.

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

In a way, my comic is my full-time job? I don't make very much money with it, but I do put over 40 hours a week into it, and I don't have another job. I am in the very fortunate position of having an SO who is able to support me financially while I try to get my footing with my passion. If I was depending on it for a paycheck though, the main thing that would change is my style would probably get simpler, because there is no way I can make enough pages a week otherwise.

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

It is really the dream to be able to do it! Right now I am unemployed, so I basically treat the comic as my fulltime job, until I find the next short project. I want to be able to work on it full time! In Denmark there are some cool possibilities to get funding from the government and I hope we can get enrolled with some of those programs with our comic.

I would also just love to do small videos, podcasts, animations etc. Small fun projects

Mitzi (Trophallaxis)

If I had to do it full time, I think i'd put a LOT more hours into learning how to paint, watching speedpaints, ect. It'd also make a huge difference in my living situation, as the first thing I'd honestly do with a full time at-home job is move to another city with cheaper rent. Another state, maybe! Oh, and I'd do a lot more promo work. posters and animations are fun, but they're not quite worth it with an audience consisting of two my writing partner's friends, and my older brother.

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

the biggest difference, I suppose, would be that I would make a lot more pages, a lot faster. But I like it that it's been pointed that the relationship with work changes when you have to do things full time, so there may be some unpredictable variables there

eliushi [Keyspace]

For a living for me can mean many different things: able to sustain living expenses vs full-time. There’s overlap but one gives financial security meaning an element of creative freedom. The opposite end will probably entail working on other comic projects with the current one as a passion story on the side (no change but probably might not want to draw so much after drawing for work!) If we’re discussing the ability to do the webcomic full time without financial worries then I do believe my output will increase but also I will be dedicating more time to the craft (studying story structures, art directions etc) as well as marketing/joining professional associations/pitching/connections. There are a lot of career options within the comic world and I’d love to explore everything before deciding what’s best for the current story. Ultimately if I were to do this as a living, I’d treat it like any other job: a routine, a strive for improvement, and wellness to recharge. I follow several artists not only for their art but also their schedule/workflow to see what worked for others. It’s very interesting!

In reality though, I might work on smaller scale projects on the side to build up the experience and platform needed to tell the story of Keyspace. As a full time comic creator, I’ll be seriously thinking to covert the seven novel series into a hug comic project. So TL;DR if full time, I make more pages

varethane

I'm in an odd place with my comic because.... well, I sort of had an opportunity to spend all of my time on it for a few months, when I was in between contracts at work. But I found that I wasnt getting it done all that much faster than I did when also working full time

To be fair, it's kind of hard to compare my speed between the three periods, because when I returned to work after a few months away, it was after work from home had started and now I no longer have a commute, so perhaps my ability to squeeze comic pages into my free time has expanded.... but I feel like my attention span caps out around 8 hours on any single task

So I didnt work that much faster. But... I'm also bad at keeping track. I could be wrong.

Yung Skrimp (Carefree)

8 hours is a long attention span

varethane

It's not all in one go, haha.

eliushi [Keyspace]

I definitely have to take breaks between pages, whether or not I have just a few minutes to a chunk of hours

It’s about finding a balance that works for you!

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I don't think I could put more hours daily into my comic than I currently do. I have a chronic issue with my drawing shoulder, so my body won't be able to handle that much work. Probably wouldn't be great for my eyes, either. I also don't know if I want my livelihood to depend on how many people like my story. This story is a pair of custom-tailored skinny jeans for my heart (and I have an unusual body type, making it impossible to wear skinny jeans regardless of size). It's a story I want to read. It's meant to fit ME. I don't want to worry about how to also make it fit a bunch of other people.

That being said, some people do find themselves in a situation where they're making something they want to read, and a bunch of other people just happen to like it, too. I think that would be nice

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

I physically can‘t draw for more than four, five hours a day, found that out the hard wayy

eliushi [Keyspace]

I most recently developed pain likely due to RSI and have made accommodations since then but yeah it was scary to think that I have a limit in drawing time. Gotta find ways to take care of yourself for the long run

cAPSLOCK (Tailslide)

I think if comics were my only job, I'd feel a lot more anxious about what I create, and would struggle to work consistently. Having another pursuit makes me feel like I have more freedom to experiment, learn, and make what I want to make.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

That's a really good point keii

Would drawing a comic for a living push me to change it to have more mass appeal?

I don't know but it is definitely possible and would be on my mind

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

It is the dream, if I could get a decent monthly wage on my comic, yes I will dedicate more time, work out a better schedule. Get an editor and colourist on board to help make a polished series. Altho I'm still doing this method to build good working habits But I agree with Eli's point, have to assign days for breaks for myself to prevent RSI. At present I have a trained mindset to work on schedules, but I may feel the pressure to produce as fast as I could.(edited)

Desnik

Well, for starters, my comic would actually be released somewhere, so it'd be nice if it made something back for me

Miranda

I’d actually release it. And work on it regularly, instead of sporadically like I have been! I’d definitely be more critical of what I was doing, and probably way more anxious every time I posted.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

You know, when I was only like 6 years old, I was like "I don't want to be an artist when I grow up. I love art too much, and I don't want to burn out and stop enjoying it. So I'm gonna be a singer instead." I have no idea how 6-year-old me knew about burnout, but I definitely remember saying that in response to an adult asking something like "what do you wanna be when you grow up"/ "wow, you're drawing all the time; do you want to become an artist?"

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

The more I do comics the more I think I want to do art stuff as part of my main career. I would love to make sequential art that's for science purposes

sagaholmgaard

Ah that would be the dream! I'd probably feel more secure in my ability to build up a backlog of pages, and be able to make more extra content for the PDF version! And more content for instagram and twitter as well

kayotics

If I were to be able to do comics full time I think it would completely change my current lifestyle. Not even money wise but I’d need to switch up a lot of things. Like make sure I get a good amount of exercise in. I’d probably add in another page a week, but then use the rest of my week to project manage the comic, and promote my work. I’d spend a lot of other time working on creating an online store, because I can’t see the comic working full time without some supplemental merch keeping me afloat. And I’d also use that time to create and work on another comic series I think.

Yung Skrimp (Carefree)

If I were to do comics full time I’d flex on everyone I know

Feather J. Fern

If I was able to do comics full time, be able to pay off debts, substain rent and food, and extra saved for small spluges, I will shove my comic in my family's face(I got a family who doesn't believe in me at all), dancing around screaming "I MADE IT IN LIFE" And then jump out the window because haha this can't be a reality because I don't think I will ever make it in comics. I will still keep my other job of working at a library and drawing on the side becuase I want working job insurance and also I am the type who wants to save all their money if possible(edited)

eliushi [Keyspace]

I was on board until jumping out the window

Yung Skrimp (Carefree)

I wasn't on board until jumping out the window

Now I am

Moral_Gutpunch

If I could do this for a living, I could do so much. I could afford to put my mother ina home, start my dream farm and start a bunch of conservation as well, I could help my husband fund his own sidegig, and I could afford to foster pets like I always wanted.

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

Personally, if I was able to do it I would be a lot more invested in it. I would also make a lot less excuses as to why I'm not practicing as much; it took a pandemic to happen for me to dry taking it more seriously!

I think overall I might have been more happy.

On the other hand, there's also the danger of burnout, of constantly doing the same thing over and over again for me. I'm the type that needs constant change, so I think I'm more suited to having another occupation be my main profession while comics/art would be a secondary one, where I don't have as much pressure. Furthermore, it's also my backup plan in case anything happens to my main job.

Moral_Gutpunch

^ This. I'd be focusing so much more on comics. And I'd be expanding into more comics and writing more stories. I'd be happier I'm writing more, but more frustrated at writers block

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Man if I could do it full time, might be able to pull more page updates and actually get deep into doing some long term projects I had planned for years. I won't have much of an issue as long i can also do my zine projects on the side. also would be nice to have some job insurance too along with it lmao. the only danger that could take it away if I get incapacitated for no reason lmao

TaliePlume

If I could do comics as my full time job would be awesome! But all that focus would go only to the comic and nothing else which is bad because I would be neglecting a lot of things and not getting other things done.

AntiBunny

I'd finally be able to tell my whole story and start telling another. It drives me crazy that I have more ideas than I can pursue.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

In terms of my actual production, I'm not sure doing my comic as a living would change much lol. I already spend upwards of 40 hours a week on it, I seriously doubt there's more I could be doing. So, earning a living off my comic would just be... one less thing to worry about.

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #comic tea party #ctp #creator interview #comic creator interview #creator babble

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trishmilburn · 5 years

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Wonho, Monsta X, The Culture of Online Hate and Standing Up for What’s Right

One of the challenges of being an author is knowing where to start a story. I find myself facing that same question as I begin this blog post. There are times when we are feeling so many emotions at once that it’s difficult to express them fully. But I’m writer, and I should be able to put feelings into words even when those feelings are like a maelstrom inside of me.

As many of you know, I dove head-first into the world of K-pop a year ago. It wasn’t something I sought out. It almost seems like destiny that it found me, and I’m so glad that it did. At the time I found K-pop, I was at a crossroads of a sort. Though I’d been publishing books for a decade, the market was changing and I was burning out on the types of stories I was telling. I still loved those stories, put my all into them, and I’m thankful to my editors, publishers and readers for the opportunities and support they’ve given me. But that creative part of me wasn’t truly happy anymore. And I had no idea what to do about it because this is how I make my living. Did I have to give up the idea of enjoying what I do in order to put food on the table and pay the rent? That was depressing, to say the least. After all, I’d left journalism because I wanted to write fiction full-time. I didn’t think I could go back to being a journalist in today’s climate.

Enter K-pop, which I found by way of watching Korean dramas. Not since I was a teenager into a variety of 1980s hair bands (Hello, Bon Jovi! You’re still awesome!) had I been so into music. And to be honest, I’m pretty sure I’m enjoying music more now than I ever have in my life. That is saying a lot considering I’m a 49-year-old white lady from the American South and that enjoyment is originating a world away in a country I’ve never been to. But K-pop is infectious in the very best way. Not only are the typically upbeat songs fun to listen to, the entire world of K-pop is fun and fascinating. It has brought me countless hours of enjoyment. I listen to K-pop in my car on long road trips to concerts in Atlanta and on short trips to the grocery store. Dance is one of my two preferred forms of exercise in addition to walking at our local beach, and the playlists are all K-pop. I love watching not only the official music videos, but also the dance practices, the goofy videos the groups do in Halloween costumes, and the variety shows on which you get to know them better. K-pop is a bright, colorful, happy-making world of singing, rapping, dancing, fashion, cosmetics and more.

Until it isn’t. Today is one of those days. K-pop is not immune to the current world of online hate. While social media has allowed me to connect with my readers and fellow K-pop and K-drama fans around the world, which is fantastic, we all know it also had a dark side. Behind a computer screen, people say the most heinous things to each other, often people they don’t even know. Often while hiding their real identities. But in the current climate, many don’t even feel the need to hide their identities anymore. They feel free to direct hate at others in the full light of day, and others egg them on. It’s disgusting and it harms people who do not deserve it.

Today’s victim is Wonho from the group Monsta X. They are one of the four groups I’ve seen in concert so far this year, and their concert was fabulous. Wonho wasn’t feeling well during the show, but none of us knew that until he collapsed and had to be helped off stage. A bit later he came back out and apologized. I just wanted to wrap him in a hug and tell him he didn’t have to apologize for not being well. After all, these idols (that’s what members of K-pop groups are called) push themselves hard. They are constantly working, running on little sleep and little food to make it in a highly competitive industry that can easily discard them because there are always more groups debuting that can take their place. It’s exhausting just thinking about it.

An apology from a K-pop idol for the slightest perceived infraction or disappointment to fans is not unusual in an industry where them even dating is often considered a scandal. Not only do they have to perform their professional duties, but they are expected to be perfect with nary a wrong step, even before they became idol trainees. It’s unrealistic and it’s unfair. Who among us hasn’t done something in our life, particularly when we were young, that we regret? Something we learned from and grew because of having done it. Idols are not allowed this luxury of having been at any point a normal human youth. This is the fault of the companies they work for and the unrealistic expectations of certain segments of the fandoms.

Then there are the netizens who, for whatever twisted reason, love to cause chaos and do actual harm to the idols and their careers. That’s where we are today. There is a certain young woman in South Korea who has repeatedly caused problems for idols in one way or another. It’s often difficult to dig down to the root cause of why scandals blow up in K-pop, but supposedly she or her boyfriend posted some snarky comment about Wonho owing someone money. If that is true, there are ways of rectifying the situation that don’t include destroying someone’s career or life. Don’t take to social media where the person in question is not the only one who gets hurt. Wonho had also been the target of other malicious rumors for something taken out of context, and now Shownu, another member of Monsta X, has been targeted by false rumors. I don’t know that this is the case, but it feels very coordinated because of the timing. Monsta X just released a new album this week and are in their promotion period, and in the world of K-pop there is unfortunately an element that likes to try to tear down other bands so their own favorites can supposedly rise higher. This is complete nonsense and yet it seems to fester and spread like a disease. I don’t know the reasoning behind the attacks on Wonho and Shownu, but it’s part of a bigger problem – that of unchecked online hate.

I say unchecked because instead of the idols’ companies standing behind them, instead of them saying, “No, we will not let you tear down this person who has put his heart and soul into making his group a success and is beloved by fans,” they always put out the same kind of statement that the idol made the decision to leave the group for the good of the rest of the group members. I call a huge sack of BS! Even if Wonho did say he would leave for the good of his brothers in Monsta X – and I say brothers deliberately because K-pop groups become family since they live together, work together, vacation together, love each other – Starship Entertainment executives should have said to him, “That’s admirable but not necessary. We’re going to stand with you and behind you as we fight this. We will help you get through it, and you and the rest of Monsta X will come out stronger on the other side.” I would have admired them greatly for taking this stand, which is not something you see from the Korean entertainment companies. Instead, the idols are allowed to make sacrificial lambs of themselves for “the good of the group.” Again, I call BS. This is for the good of the companies’ monetary bottom lines. In no way do I believe that Shownu, Minhyuk, Kihyun, Hyungwon, Joohoney and I.M benefit from this. I’m sure in this moment their hearts are breaking and they’re worried about their dear friend, their brother, more than anything else. And yet they are going to be expected to perform to promote this new album in the midst of all this upheaval and heartbreak.

I chose not to have kids of my own, but in moments like these there is a dormant mama-bear instinct inside of me that makes itself known. I want to wrap all these boys, who are young enough to be my sons, in a protective hug and swat away anyone who dares take a swipe at them. I want to tell them that I’ll be strong for them while they’re hurting. I want to hold those attacking them to account and make sure they pay for what they’ve done. And I want to tell their company to grow a spine. I know the culture is different in Korea than it is here in the U.S., but how many times have you seen an American celebrity do much worse and no one bats an eye? There is a middle ground between letting people get away with true wrongdoing and destroying a person’s life and career for something that wouldn’t even be – and shouldn’t be – a blip on the radar here. And we should allow people to acknowledge youthful missteps that are relatively harmless – if they even happened – apologize, and move on. It’s called growth, and it can be an inspiration to others. If all of us who ever made a mistake as a teenager lost our careers because of it, there would be a lot of unemployed people walking around.

What needs to happen is this: all the Korean entertainment companies need to band together and say enough is enough. Rumors and magnifying small incidents to the point where netizens are ready to ride with torches and pitchforks should be called out and the instigators held to account, even by legal means. The companies need to stand behind their idols when they are attacked instead of throwing them away like they are disposable. Taking them away from everything they’ve worked for and their bandmates is cruel, not unlike ripping a child from his family and then telling them it’s their fault. If an idol has a problem, find them help. They are under so much pressure that it’s no surprise that they offer suffer from anxiety and depression, and unfortunately Korea still reportedly has an antiquated view of mental health. It’s part of the reason – along with external attacks – for their abysmal suicide rate. Look no further than Sulli, another K-pop idol who recently committed suicide after being attacked online for years. I don’t know that there has been a line drawn between those two things, but my gut tells me that it was at least a contributing factor. And I don’t want to hear of it ever happening again. Too many young, beautiful, kind, talented, giving lives are being lost.

Today, I’ve gotten next to no work done. I can’t pull my thoughts away from Wonho and how wrongly he’s been treated, how much he, the rest of the group and fans are hurting. I’ve been fighting crying all day because I know I’ll just feel worse afterward. I hate to see injustice. It just eats me alive inside. And unfortunately we are seeing more and more of it. Some might say there are worse injustices in the world than this. Yes and no. Yes, children ripped from their families at the border and genocide are great evils, but wrong is wrong. And what has happened to Wonho and other idols in the past because of online attacks is all kinds of wrong.

Wonho, if by some chance you and the rest of Monsta X read this, I hope you’re able to take comfort from the fact that you have many fans around the world who love you and who will go to bat for you. I hope you’re able to focus on those voices instead of the hateful ones. As a creative, I know it’s difficult to not focus on the vocal minority, the ones who say the negative things. Those are the voices that work their way insidiously into our brains, but we have to fight against them and remember that there are many more people to whom you have brought joy and to whom you will continue to bring job as a member of Monsta X if we have anything to say about it.

And to the decision-makers at Starship Entertainment, do the right thing. Do what is right, not what is easy or most beneficial to your bottom line. Bring Wonho back and stand up to the people who attack your idols, the people who work hard to make your company successful.

#wonho #monsta_x #online hate

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frustratedprogrammer · 3 years

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Today... sucked.

Well yeah. I fucking hated today, and it's still not over. But I having a break from life to write this. For those unaware, I'm a 20yr old male, unemployed and living with his parents. It's embarrasing really, and it sucks because no matter how hard I try, I can't get myself a stable job to fix this situation. I've applied for like video editor jobs and programming jobs and even community work. No outlook really. I do freelancing to improve my portfolio and hope one day I get enough stacked up that I stand out and get picked for the job. I'm afraid that I'll need to work in an office job instead of remote. At least then they can "see" me and get a feel of what I'm capable of. Hard to do that through an application form. SO yeahhh... I've been trying. But then it sucks more that my parent's don't believe me when I say and prove I'm trying. They think I'm watching hours of YouTube, or hours of TikTok. I'm not, honestly. I spend a hour a day on TikTok sure, but I do that to chill my mind right before sleeping, I always shut everything down go to bed and watch exactly 1 hour of tiktoks. Since my parents don't believe me, they fill my life with dozens of meaningless chores. Can you believe, I have to sort my own mother's digital files... she has 28 gigs of shit she's downloaded and I have to sort them... seriously, she's accumalated all this over the years, just delete it and use what you need instead of downloading everything hoping you'll one day use it. Another meaningless chore, I have to update a spreadsheet... yep, my mom already has written down on her phone, what she wants on, like legit she can copy/paste it straight into her spreadsheet. Instead I have to listen to her verbally read them, and then copy them down just so I can update her spreadsheet. seriously... is it wrong to call your own parents boomers, because seriously this is annoying. I just get piled with useless tasks like this, takes up so much of my time I don't get that much time to do things I want to do, or should be doing. I haven't played video games in weeks because I've just been so busy. I love video games, I should never have given it up just to catch up. At least my girlfriend keeps me company, even though we are long distance. until today... which is why I'm writing this. I got this gut feeling she was upset or mad or maybe even sad about something, I asked her several times, several at least 4 maybe 5. She always said it was ok, and was cheerful during our video call. I thought maybe I was hungry, and it was throwing me off. NOOOPE, I was right. Something was wrong. Because she said she had school to finish and I had some chores to finish, so I said I'll wish her good night when she feels sleepy, and I asked her word for word: You wouldn't sleep without me saying good night would you? Which she replied: "I wouldn't dw". Yet sure enough while I'm busy, she says she's going to sleep. I see the message LESS THAN 2 MINUTES from it being sent... I replied asap. But her phone never recieved the messages. Which meant she turned OFF her phone or wifi to avoid me. Seriously? All I wanted was to say good night. I felt hurt, and I told her, but unfortunetly due to none of my messages being recieved... she doesn't know yet... I hope we don't get into a fight over this. I'm upset and it worsen my mood today. Right now, I'm doing the only thing that helps me take my mind off things. Ranting to the internet. I love her, I truly do, but I'm seriously reconsidering our relationship. I've told her in the past ghosting me like this is something I hate. But she did it anyways... would she do it again in the future? I hope not, because right now, at least right now, I can overlook it. But if this happens again. I'll be blunt and tell her I'd leave her if she does it a 3rd time. I just can't stand ghosting. If you want space, say so. If you want to be alone, say so. If you want to breakup, say so. No mature adult ghosts another human being. It aint right. If you are reading this, never, ever, ghost someone. Tell them what you want first, allow them to respond and get some closure, then get your space. Like for real. Did I do anything wrong? I have no idea if my GF is mad at me, at something, or nothing at all. I only know is that she ghosted me. Peace

#rant #girlfriend #relationships #ghosting #chores #depressed #ranting

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achillesmercury1996 · 3 years

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Mindless ramble I plan to read to my therapist about my ~life~ under the cut

Y’all, I just wish I knew what in the ever-loving FUCK I want to do with my life. Like, I wish there was something that I was genuinely GOOD at, but whenever I stop to think about it I just... *Radio Silence*. I went to primary school for 12 mother-fuckin’ years, yo, and during that time, I learned fuck all about myself and what I want to do with the remainder of my life. I dabbled in theater back in those days, but never stuck with it because I’m what my parents like to call ~a quitter~. (When, really, I just didn’t like rehearsals after school, and I especially didn’t like getting harassed by the male director with an ego bigger than Napoleon’s).

Anyway, by some fucking MIRIACLE, ya girl graduated, and got accepted to UNIVERSITY. Which, for me, it was a huge fucking deal because I’ve never been considered ‘smart’ or ‘the college type’. Like, I graduated high school with a 2.9 GPA, whereas my sisters (who I’ve been endlessly compared to my entire life), graduated with a 3.8 and a 4.0, SO, and ended up going to one of the big 10 universities in America. Again...SO.

Carrying on. I went to uni undecided because, again, I don’t know what the ever-loving FUCK I want to do with my life. So about halfway through my first semester, I was walking back to my dorm and was like, “FUCK IT, I write a lot, I’m gonna major in Journalism and Minor in Writing hahahahahaha because writing one semi-successful fanfic on fanfic dot net back in 2012 means I’m cut out for this legggoooo!!”

Anyway, I declare my major and minor, and let me tell you...I took my first journalism courses at uni...and girl, journalism was NOT IT. Not for me, anyway. I always saw journalism as legit WRITING, and given the media boom, it is literally everything BUT writing. When I tell you my ass was hauling a FIFTY POUND VIDEO CAMERA AND BOOM MIC ACROSS CAMPUS FOR A PROJECT WORTH 50% OF MY GRADE...no, ma’am. I literally spent thousands of dollars on a course my 3rd year in my major where you were graded ONLY on doing these 2 film projects...and I DIDN’T DO EITHER OF THEM. I got a D- in the course just because my prof liked me, and would feel bad giving me an F.

Side note, there was even a point during my 2nd year of uni where I decided to change my minor to EARTH SCIENCE because I was like, “yo, rocks are neat, and maybe I could write for Nat Geo one day hahahahahahaha”. Girl, WHAT!?

Okay, so needless to say, I literally fell into a pit, spiraled out of fucking control, drank so much cheap beer, and dropped tf out halfway through my 2nd semester my 3rd year. I had spent HOURS every single day, prior to my decision of dropping out, just looking at other majors offered at my uni (and I went to a liberal arts school, so we had a ton), and absolutely NONE OF THEM struck my interest. NONE.

So what did I do after I dropped out? You mean other than gain 50 pounds and work dead-end jobs? I WENT TO FUCKING BEAUTY SCHOOL. It’s like, someone looked at me, said my makeup looked nice once, and I RAN WITH IT, GIRL. I shit you not, even before I left the town my uni was in to move home, I was looking at beauty schools out there. It wasn’t until I realized that financial aid wouldn’t pay for housing at a beauty school did I realize I would have to move home.

So I’m 22, and my dumb ass goes to Esthetics school. One of the WORST ESTHETICS SCHOOLS IN MICHIGAN, MIND YOU. BECAUSE I SOMEHOW GOT A SCHOLARSHIP. And, no, I didn’t get a scholarship because I’m ~so good at what I do~. I got a scholarship because I’m ~broke~, and the admissions officer felt bad for me, and said if I could write a decent essay about why I wanted to be an esthetician, then she could hook me the fuck up. And I said BET, because one thing that came out of me going to uni...I can write a BOMB essay, okay? I was the designated editor on my dorms floor my 1st year at uni. Not because I’m ~such a good editor~ but because I can bang out a 5 page essay in thirty minutes no problem. Ya girl knows how to write some bullshit down on paper and make it look like gold. Too bad I fucking HATE DOING IT.

Anyway. I go to esthetics school, and immediately get licensed after graduating. It was one of the worst 6 month periods of my entire life, and I honestly hate reflecting back on it. It was also a waste of 8k, and now I’m 10k in student debt hahahaha thanks America!

I genuinely tried to pursue esthetics afterward. I really did. I had a bitchin’ resume, and I went to a ton of interviews at salons, and applied to countless places as an esthetician and makeup artist. I even had a potential job lined up at a salon not far from my house...which ended up falling through because they wanted me to do ~free labor~ for three months full-time before hiring me. Which...no thanks. I needed money. So what did I do? I GET A JOB AT FUCKING KROGER. AS A PICK-UP ATTENDANT. Again, another dark point of my life that was followed by me quitting there after getting injured, going to work at HOBBY LOBBY only to have a mental breakdown before one of my shifts that leads to me quitting there.

Holy fuck. So I had a small moment where I was unemployed for the summer. I went on a trip with my boyfriend, and was a bridesmaid and makeup artist for my sister’s wedding. So it was a good summer. Aside from having no direction in my life that wasn’t to the nearest bar or bottle of what-the-fuck-ever. But you know.

I got a job that December (2019) as a receptionist at a local gymnasium. Honestly, it wasn’t that bad. I had nice coworkers, the customers were actually pretty chill, and the kids were...tolerable. It wasn’t bad, okay? I actually liked it, but we all know what followed the year 2019...

That’s right...2020. Covid-19. The bane of all of our existences as of right now.

We had to close in March of 2020 with no clue as to when we’d be able to go back. Which, at first, was a nightmare. Because I had shit to pay for, and NO INCOME. At least until unemployment kicked in, we got our first round of stimmy checks, and ya girl actually started to thrive.

I studied more into Buddhism, got into wicca and witchcraft which ended up being a huge light in my life, believe it or not (even if I’m no good at it rn), and I was able to just...be. For a while at least. The world seemed to stop, and I could actually BREATHE for once. It was nice. I lost weight. I stopped drinking ENTIRELY (and haven’t had a drink since summer 2020 THANK YOU VERY MUCH). I read a lot more and finally got to expand my book collection. I just...got to be. And it was so nice.

But now that America and society wants life to ~go back to normal~ and ~keep moving~ (thanks, boomers), that means that I need to do the same. Except I don’t know what it means to ‘go back to normal’ because I’ve never had a normal. And I don’t know how to keep moving because sometimes I really don’t want to. I just want to be. I want to be able to sit down at dinner every night and not feel crazy anxiety because my parents keep staring at me like they’re about to start grilling me about not doing anything with my life. Because, girl, if I had any sense of direction and what I wanted to do with my life, I WOULD BE DOING SOMETHING, OKAY? Like, this pandemic is fucking horrific, okay? But I’d be a liar if I were to say that those few weeks in March and some of April where we were all just vibing, baking bread, sewing masks and being NICE TO EACH OTHER were awful. They weren’t. I loved them. I will forever be chasing that high.

Fuck. I don’t even know what the point is in writing all of this. Maybe I’ll save it and read it to my therapist on Friday so they can get a sense of what goes on in my mind, or how I’m thinking or whatever...but yeah. I just don’t know what to do. I have no direction. I have no passions. There are things I enjoy doing that make me feel good, but once I pursue them, or am forced to do them in a way that isn’t how I want to do it...I lose that passion. Ya dig? Like back in high school when I was an actress. I actually loved it. But once I had to go to rehearsal after school and get bitched at by a director who treated a high school production of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang like it was Broadway (like, sir, you went to uni for THIS?)...that passion dissolved. Same with writing. Same with makeup artistry. Same with LITERALLY EVERYTHING I’VE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE. And like I said earlier, according to my parents, that makes me ~a quitter~.

I just...I have no passions, and the few things I enjoy doing...I don’t want to pursue them and end up hating them too. I don’t act anymore. I don’t write. I don’t do anyone else’s makeup but my own. I don’t even shop or go to the stores where I used to work (except for Kroger because a bitch has to eat). So when it comes down to it, whenever someone suggests I work in an area where it’s utilizing one of my few interests, or working somewhere that I like to go, that brings me joy or peace...why the fuck would I do that? Because, like everywhere else, I know in my gut that it’ll ruin that for me. I don’t want those things ruined for me. Even if I might be ~pleasantly surprised~, I don’t want to take that risk. Shit, I’m not that kind of risk taker. I’ll jump off of a 20ft high diving board, but I’ll be DAMNED if I apply and get a job at my favorite bookstore only to end up hating it, okay? No thank you.

So, like I said in the beginning...I just wish there was something I was genuinely good at. Something I was passionate about that I could pursue it. Maybe even on my own so I could just...enjoy it without corporate hierarchy or whatever barking orders at me or reprimanding me for breathing the wrong fucking way. You know? Or even something that I was SO GOOD AT, that the company or whoever hired me couldn’t afford to lose me as an employee because there would be no one else out there who could do that job quite like me. Except the latter would never be the case, you know? I’m not that good or desirable at fucking ANYTHING.

Anyway. Too bad there isn’t a course I could take on life. Too bad I couldn’t have directed my own life when it came to deciding to go to uni. Because, honestly, I only went because it was what I was told to do. But I digress about that. I just need...direction. I don’t have any, and I haven’t had any direction for a while. My parents would tell you different because they think that if they advise me on what ~they think is right~ I’ll just do it, and finally get my life together. But they don’t want to hear any of this. They just want me to get a job, make money, and get out of their house. They always say shit like, “you’re 24! You’ve been here longer than either of your sisters!” Again, comparing me to my older siblings. It just doesn’t help when you already don’t know what the fuck you’re doing, you know?

Ah, fuck...anyways. Writing this helps. Getting these thoughts out helps. Sharing it with...someone (like I said, I’ll probably read this to my therapist) helps. It doesn’t give me any sense of direction or what the fuck I want to do with my life, but hey, maybe if I take these thoughts to someone who has their life more together, or who could help me get there, it could be a good thing.

I just want to feel fulfilled. And right now I don’t. I never have. And everyone I know doesn’t do anything that fulfills them. It just pays the bills and puts bread on the table. Which is nice and all, but there has to be more to life than living to work and working to live. What about living to live? I need that. Even doing something that is somewhat enjoyable for the time being would be nice. But I’m tired of waking up everyday wanting to go back to bed because the job I have or whatever is so awful it makes me not even want to go through the day. What life is that? I don’t want that. I can’t have that.

But above all, that’s really what I want in life. I want to do something fulfilling. But how do I get there?

Anyway, if you read this far...thanks? Maybe one of y’all out there feels the same way, and it’s comforting to know when other people feel the same way, I guess? You’re not alone, is what I’m saying. We’re all on our own journey in this fucked-up simulation we call life, but it’s nice to have support along the way. You’re not alone. I’m here, and if you ever need someone to talk to, an ear to listen, or a shoulder to cry on, just know that I’m here.

Okay, I’ll shut up now. Back to our regularly scheduled content and ~the gay shit~!

Love y’all.

#thanks for reading #if you did #I'm good y'all #I'm getting help #I just needed to get my thoughts out #and like I said #maybe someone else can relate #so there you go #personal #about me #to be deleted #maybe #who knows #blah blah blah

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wineanddinosaur · 4 years

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Bar Tab Venmo May Ease the Sting of Media Layoffs, But It’s Far From a Safety Net

Push alerts are the scourge of our #mobilefirst existence, so it makes sense that Megan Greenwell had turned them off for all her most used apps. It also makes sense that Venmo, the ubiquitous platform that allows strangers to seamlessly transfer one another funds by phone, was not one of those apps.

After all, who walks the earth expecting strangers to simultaneously begin sending them funds with little to no warning? In this economy?! And yet, one fateful late-October afternoon last year, that’s exactly what happened to the editor of Wired, who had helmed the sports blog Deadspin for 18 months before resigning in protest of what she saw as improper editorial meddling by the executives running the site’s parent company.

“All of a sudden like my phone was like too hot to touch because of all the Venmos coming in,” Greenwell told me in a recent phone interview. The money wasn’t for her, not all of it at least. In fall 2019, 20 of the editor’s former Deadspin colleagues began walking off the job in a principled stand against the firing of one of their own, and the site’s fans (who included millions of regular readers per month and many NYC media insiders) wanted to show their support. Greenwell had stepped up as a digital bagwoman on Twitter, posting her Venmo handle and offering to run point on disbursement of any funds collected.

And lo, did the funds roll in. To buy the erstwhile Deadspinners drinks, strangers on the internet ultimately pooled together a “healthy five figures,” says Greenwell. (This went to more than drinks; we’ll get to that in a moment.) “I was like, ‘Holy fuck, I have to figure out how to turn off my notifications!’”

‘In lieu of a better safety net’

Such is the power and majesty of the “bar tab Venmo,” a digital-age rite borne of journalistic tribalism, smartphone connectivity, and the excruciating death shudders of an ever-collapsing American media ecosystem. It’s a fairly simple exercise: When journalists find themselves out of work, other journalists — plus rank-and-file subscribers, fans of a free press, and so forth — toss a few bucks into a digital bucket as consolation beer money for the newly unemployed.

Unfortunately, layoffs have been a nearly omnipresent specter in the media business for the entire decade I’ve been in it. (This story, in fact, is expanding on an essay I wrote for my drinking culture newsletter after being laid off, for the first time, from a media gig of my own. Fun!) In that time, as shop after shop has shed writers and editors, hard-nosed reporters and soft-handed listicle jockeys, the bar tab Venmo routine has become a bit of a funeral rite.

(Apparently this is a thing that people also did with former staffers of failed Democratic presidential campaigns, which is different and honestly a little weird to me in ways that I can’t quite put my finger on right now. Anyway!)

Given how often journalists get laid off, it’s impossible to say how many of these booze-focused fundraisers have hit the timeline since Venmo was created in 2009. But in the past few years, as the digital-media balloon has deflated in an atmosphere of impossible growth goals, video pivots, and impatient, inept venture-capitalism and private-equity opportunism, they’ve gotten bigger. Due to the site’s stature and its writers’ popularity, the drive for former Deadspinners was arguably the highest-profile of the bunch. The last year and a half alone seen has similar ad-hoc efforts for journalists at BuzzFeed News, Sports Illustrated, The New York Times en Espanol, Outside Magazine … and on and on.

“I’ve spent a lot of time over the past four years or so specifically … donating to bar tab Venmos,” says Maya Kosoff, a freelance writer and editor who, back in the Before Times, wrote movingly for GEN on “the human toll of the 2019 media apocalypse” that put 3,000 journalists out of work. (Smash cut to 2020 and that number looks downright adorable next to the toll taken by pandemic-related media layoffs, which The New York Times ballparked at 36,000 back in April. And uh, folks, things have not gotten better since April!)

“It feels like you’re trying to help your fellow peers get back on their feet at a time when there’s complete instability in the industry, and no guarantee that you’re gonna find another staff job in journalism,” she added. Bar tab Venmo “is kind of in lieu of there being like a better safety net — for reporters, writers, editors, and freelancers.”

“I don’t know where I first saw people doing this,” says Amanda Mull, a staff writer for The Atlantic whose tweet about the Deadspin walkout was among those that prompted Greenwell to offer up her Venmo handle last fall. “Maybe it was an early round of BuzzFeed layoffs? I saw people doing it, so I sent some money. It seemed like just a nice thing to do, people who are losing their jobs or who are in an unstable employment situation.”

Mutual Aid in the Modern Era

Speaking of which: As the coronavirus pandemic continues its literal and figurative death march through the American economy, rolling layoffs and gobsmacking unemployment numbers have become a de rigeur part of the national discourse. There are a lot more workers (both in the media and beyond) in unstable employment situations than ever before.

As such, new conversation has sprung forth about the shortcomings of America’s dismal system of meat-grinder capitalism and what average folks — buried in student loan, perpetually renting, and/or clinging to garbage jobs they hate because the bad health benefits they get are still better than the obscenely expensive alternatives in our cartoonishly corrupt privatized healthcare industry — can do to help each other survive. Like, beyond buying each other drinks, I mean.

Workers, neighbors, marginalized groups, and more have been passing the hat to help their own cover the costs of sickness, death, and bad luck for centuries. That’s neither new (it was a staple of 19th-century fraternal lodges), nor particularly mainstream, in the United States at least. But things are shifting, according to Max Haiven, an author and professor at Lakehead University in Ontario, Canada. Rank-and-file attitudes toward mutual aid were “changing already very quickly before the pandemic, [and they’re] changing even faster right now. … What we’ve actually begun to see is that since Covid, a lot of workers who previously were not unionized are now taking forms of collective action.”

At the very least, people seem more aware of the idea. Google Trends indicates that interest in the phrase “mutual aid” has been higher than normal for virtually the entire duration of the coronavirus pandemic. That tool also suggests searches spiked directly after a police officer killed George Floyd in the street this past spring, which makes sense because American capitalism and American racism are “different” in the sense that Bud Light and Miller Lite are “different,” which is to say sort of but also not really.

What’s the connection between neighborhood grocery deliveries and strangers paying each other’s medical bills, and random Twitter avatars throwing beer money at unemployed bloggers? Ah, so glad you asked, my dear rhetorical device!

Drinks Do Not a Union Organize

To Haiven, journalism’s money-for-booze routine isn’t quite a pure expression of solidarity — it’s long on symbol, but short on substance, and is probably predicated a bit too much on journalism’s romanticized “brand” and the popularity of individual outlets and writers to constitute real movement-building action.

On that, all the journalists I spoke with for this story agreed emphatically. “Part of me is a little unsettled by the popularity aspect of it,” says Greenwell. The success or failure of a bar tab Venmo is “not determined by who needs it the most, and it’s not determined by whose circumstances were the worst in terms of their layoff or firing or whatever, it’s determined by popularity on Twitter.”

Kosoff, who received some Venmo dough herself after leaving “new Gawker” over ethical concerns regarding the site’s leadership, echoed that reservation, warning that the practice is potentially exclusionary and even “clique-y” — words more or less incompatible with true solidarity.

Another aspect of bar tab Venmo that makes it more a “solidaristic” behavior than a true form of solidarity is that the stakes are relatively low. With the exception of alcoholics who’d be wracked with delirium tremens in the absence of drink, buying rounds for writers online is not really in the same category as, say, passing the hat to help the family of a union brother slain on the job to cover funeral costs.

And contrary to what you’ve heard, not every journalist unwinds at the end of the day with several glasses of Scotch. “Sending money for booze is a heartwarming gesture and a good expression of love and solidarity for people who have been laid off,” says Hamilton Nolan, a labor reporter for In These Times and a former staffer of the various companies that have owned Deadspin. “But speaking as someone who doesn’t drink, I would suggest that an even better practice would be just donating cash to laid off workers. They can buy their own drinks, or pay the rent.”

Still, Haiven says, if labor activism occurs on a spectrum, with strikes and solidarity actions between different unions or workers organizations on one end, “on the other end of the spectrum are these like small almost seemingly insignificant acts of mutual aid, where people say ‘actually, our fates are connected.’”

“It’s kind of a culture of solidarity that could then turn into the structures of solidarity,” he adds.

Beyond the Bar Tab

Those structures, it should be noted, are already being built both outside media — and within it. After five decades of declining union density in the United States, the digital-media industry was a bright spot in the second half of the 2010s, with a wave of successful union drives, with workers at publications like Vox, New York Magazine, Deadspin, Vice, HuffPost, Salon, and many more organizing themselves to bargain for better conditions and more stability. (Disclosure: I organized at Thrillist, another digital shop that went union in that wave. We won, but it took awhile.)

So while bar tab Venmo is an imperfect vessel for building coalition across the industry, it might act as sort of a gateway drug to more substantive acts of solidarity. For one thing, it’s more for newly activated workers to send fallen coworkers beer money with a few taps on an iPhone, than to, say, write them a check for a portion of their rent, or baby formula, or whatever.

“It’s a perfect way to say like, ‘Hey, I’m thinking about you, when we’re not close enough to say “I’m thinking about you,” so here’s 20 bucks,’” muses Greenwell. Under the guise of sending a round of send-off shots, contributors were able to offer financial support that could cover actual necessities. And it did: The Deadspin fund fueled several outings with Greenwell’s former staff, but also went toward paying months of rent and buying half a dozen laptops for those writers who had previously relied on their company-issue machines. Many of those workers went on to launch Defector, one of several promising new worker-owned media co-ops seeking to reinvent a broken business with good blogs. (Maybe the drinks helped!)

Greenwell imagines mutual aid in an ideal world simply as money doled out to people who need it most, donated by those with common cause who weren’t swayed by individual popularity or, as Kosoff put it, “the stereotype of journalists as miserable sad sacks want to drink together at the bar.” Something less like a bar tab Venmo, and more like the Journalist Furlough Fund.

Launched in late March by Seattle Times reporter Paige Cornwell as a GoFundMe, the JFF is a by-journalists, for-journalists effort to plug the gaping holes in both the media industry’s broken model and the United States’ shredded social safety net. The fundraising target was $60,000, but to date the campaign has raised over $96,000 from journalists, local businesses, public-relations pros … you name it.

Speaking on the phone while coordinating wildfire coverage in Seattle, Cornwell was intent to note two things. First: “I do this independent of my employer,” she says, noting that, though the Seattle Times has been supportive of the effort, it is not a company initiative. (The Times, for what it’s worth, is a partly union newsroom; its digital journalists are currently fighting for their right to join their already-organized colleagues, of which Cornwell is one.)

The second thing Cornwell was adamant about was something every other journalist I interviewed also brought up: The sheer deficiency of crowdfunded mutual aid, even $100,000 of it, when compared to the scope of the problem at hand. Even though the JFF is much more explicitly oriented around aid than a bar tab Venmo, it pales in comparison to the broad, systematic dysfunction of the media industry.

“This isn’t a way to make up for [a laid-off journalist’s] loss,” says Cromwell. “It’s for keeping someone from the edge.” As the administrator of the fund, she’s disbursed cash to journalists across the country for daycare tuition fees, medical bills, equipment, and more. The JFF can help some journalists in a pinch, but still, “it’s not enough,” she says.

That doesn’t mean she plans to wind it down anytime soon, though. After surging in the spring, contributions to the fund have slowed, but considering that things are only getting worse in the American media business, she’s hopeful that people will contribute again if they can — if not to “fix” the media, then at least to keep more writers and editors from the meat grinder. “Someone else can figure out how to save journalism as a whole, [the JFF] will just make sure that someone will be able to buy their daughter school supplies,” she quips.

“It’s just so ridiculous that we even have to have those conversations.”

I’ll drink to that. (Please Venmo me.)

The article Bar Tab Venmo May Ease the Sting of Media Layoffs, But It’s Far From a Safety Net appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/bar-tab-venmo-layoffs/

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johnboothus · 4 years

Text

Bar Tab Venmo May Ease the Sting of Media Layoffs But Its Far From a Safety Net

‘In lieu of a better safety net’

Mutual Aid in the Modern Era

Drinks Do Not a Union Organize

“It’s kind of a culture of solidarity that could then turn into the structures of solidarity,” he adds.

Beyond the Bar Tab

“It’s just so ridiculous that we even have to have those conversations.”

I’ll drink to that. (Please Venmo me.)

The article Bar Tab Venmo May Ease the Sting of Media Layoffs, But It’s Far From a Safety Net appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/bar-tab-venmo-layoffs/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/bar-tab-venmo-may-ease-the-sting-of-media-layoffs-but-its-far-from-a-safety-net

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easyfoodnetwork · 4 years

Text

The Many Uphill Battles Bars Are Facing Right Now

Overlooking the patio at Optimism Brewing in Seattle | Suzi Pratt/Eater Seattle

Regulations around capacity, food, and to-go cocktails are just a few of the bar industry’s challenges

When the novel coronavirus picked up steam in March and blew through every industry imaginable, restaurants were a very visible victim: Dining rooms were forced to close, takeout became the new norm, and the ripple effects across the food chain were immediate.

But bars were also impacted immediately too — and without a ready pivot in sight. From the dive bars to the upscale cocktail lounges, owners and bartenders have gotten creative; but their challenges, as they navigate changing consumer habits, ever-shifting liquor laws, and reopening guidelines that differ vastly from restaurants’, have been acute.

Beth McKibben of Eater Atlanta, Eve Batey of Eater San Francisco, and Ashok Selvam of Eater Chicago came together for our Eater Talks event series, to discuss the state of bars and drinking in the U.S. right now. Below are lightly edited excerpts from their conversation, moderated by Eater staff writer Jaya Saxena, as well as a full video recording of the talk.

It’s pretty hard to argue that bars should operate normally right now.

Eve Batey, editor of Eater San Francisco: “The Newsom administration in California says that bars provide particular threats, and those threats are also inherent to bar culture and what we love about bars — which is that you hang out and you talk to people. That when you drink, you speak more loudly — which I think we have all experienced — and then when people get loud, you get louder and everyone gets louder, and the louder you speak, the more droplets you’re sending out so the more everyone is bring exposed. And anyone who’s been to college who’s made a bad sexual decision knows that alcohol lowers your inhibitions and you’re less likely to wear masks.”

Certain regulations and legislation can help bars adapt to survive the pandemic.

Ashok Selvam, editor of Eater Chicago: “Before this whole pandemic, Chicago bars weren’t allowed to set up on sidewalk patios... so that’s some emergency relief.”

Beth McKibben, editor of Eater Atlanta: “Right now, the city of Atlanta has a temporary order in place that allows restaurants and bars to allow to-go beer and wine, but that does not include cocktails. It hasn’t stopped restaurants and bars from doing that, but I also think the city is just kind of looking the other way regarding that, because they know this industry has been hit so hard that they’re not going to try and police that.

We also just had a bill that was passed in the General Assembly and the governor just signed it, but it was actually in the works prior to the pandemic, that’s going to eventually allow restaurants, bars, certain convenience stores, liquor stores, grocery stores to deliver beer, wine, and liquor to homes. So that will be a big boost for the restaurant and bar industry, because they’ll be able to deliver those things without concern.”

... but other regulations (or lack thereof) seem to be making it difficult.

Batey: “In California, the Alcohol Beverage Control, or the ABC, has a lot of rules that are very difficult to understand, very difficult to parse. I’ll use the example of the food issue, of ‘bona fide food’ [the term used by the ABC]. It’s this vague thing — what constitutes a real meal? Before this panel, Jaya was mentioning that there’s a bar she goes [in NYC] that will give you popcorn with your [drink]. Well you know what, I had popcorn for dinner last night — it’s a real meal! But according to the ABC, it’s not, probably.”

Selvam: “The food component is a particularly troublesome one in Chicago, because lawmakers over the decades have done their best to dismantle food truck culture, because a lot of restaurant owners or lobbyists had powerful clout positions and saw food trucks as a threat. So they’d be natural partners with bars that do not have kitchens to have a food partner, [but they aren’t there].

During this pandemic, lawmakers have been particularly flat-footed. To-go cocktails — they’ve been lobbying for this since March, and it took local government and state government until June to approve them, and they touted it as a lifeline to really help bars. But that’s a couple months of profits down the drain...

Similarly, permitting is so slow to secure a patio — and who’s going to advocate for you?

All of this just adds up; you can’t just look at the surface, you gotta look at the roots. In Chicago, for example, it’s illegal to have infusions in liquor, for some health code reason. Imagine if a bar could sell their version of, say, maple syrup-infused bourbon, or anything with fruit, for example. That’s something they could make a profit on. We had cocktail kits before, which sold the individual components like a bottle of liquor and mixtures, to create a cocktail. Well, compare that to an actual cocktail — I think the profit margins is like five times more than with a to-go drink. All these mechanisms were never in place, and it’s just sort of been a dismissal of something that’s really important cultural-wise.”

Are bars being unfairly targeted when it comes to regulations?

Batey: “Many bar owners that I’ve spoken to have said, ‘San Francisco is being particularly conservative when it comes to bars,’ or ‘Our health officer is retweeting things from anti-liquor groups’ and things like that. And I am very sympathetic to that. But at the same time, I will tell you that if you spoke to people who own gyms or people who own hair salons or people who own tattoo shops, they are also saying they’re singled out.”

Selvam: “Bars traditionally have been villainized. We can talk about Prohibition, we can talk about the Temperance movement. You mention the health clubs and how you feel like they’re being singled out — but there’s not that same history as with bars, as sinister spaces where [people] are up to no good. It kind of ignores the whole ‘third place’ mentality: Bars can be safe spaces if they have the right leadership, if they have the right ownership. It’s important to know that not all owners are created equal, not all bars are the same; the dive bar, the cocktail bar, the spring break bacchanalia — they’re going to have all different standards, you go there for different reasons and they’re going to have different responsibilities.

I think the food requirement is... a barrier to prevent more bars from opening, because finding the connections — the food trucks, finding the restaurant down the street — that takes time. It’s not easy just to call someone up. So there are fewer bars that have the capacity, the actual ability, to do that on short notice.”

McKibben: “Atlanta is a different situation, since we’ve always had bars and food together. That’s just how it’s been down here.... But what has really been striking is the identity crisis that the Atlanta bar scene is going through right now, that food has become such an important factor in surviving. Because they can’t do takeout cocktails legally here, and that’s what the bars are known for: cocktails, and the creativity that comes with that. That’s why people go and you sit and you have a drink and chill out and talk with your friends — and that’s just not happening here anymore. So food has become an absolute necessity. It’s an identity crisis: ‘Am I a bar or a restaurant? What am I?’ They don’t know.”

Selvam: “I don’t think anyone who is sane is arguing that bars shouldn’t be closed — because you linger more at a bar, you’re much more inclined to ignore social distancing rules. That’s not really an argument. But the ‘fairness’ is: Why weren’t we prepared? And why are we still continuing to take our time on things that that could be of assistance to the bar industry?”

Ultimately, regulations and relief that help bars stay closed may be the most helpful.

McKibben: “I asked one bar owner this weekend how do they feel about young people coming in, that may be coming in a group of 5 or 6 people, and they’re inebriated already from hopping down the BeltLine, which is our pedestrian trail in Atlanta. And he said, ‘It’s terrifying. A lot of them are coming in, they’re not wearing masks at all, and even though we’re telling them to wear a mask, they’re just not doing it. And so my staff is scared, I’m scared, patrons in the bar are scared. So we’ve had people leave since they don’t want to be around those folks.’”

Selvam: “A lot of bars are operating on egg shells; they’re terrified of inspectors shutting them down, there’s a lot of reluctance to open... There is a lot of caution and there’s a lot of worry that they’re going to be covered in the media and kind of perceived by the rest of the industry as messing it up for the rest of their colleagues.”

Batey: “There isn’t a ‘fair’ here. Everyone can get infected. So I understand why regulators are saying, ‘This is the line we’re drawing on what is reopening right now.’ And it breaks my heart, because I love bars and I love gyms, and my friends own gyms and they might lose everything, and my friends own bars and they may lose everything... But I also think that we can’t say, ‘Well these guys get to be open and these guys don’t, so we should be open and we should all be open,”’ because then we’re all gonna die.

So how do we make that work? The only solution is that we have specific legislation that supports bars and supports businesses that aren’t being allowed to reopen now. Are we going to get that? I don’t know. Does the state of California have that money? We’re just trying to make sure that people who unemployed have that money.

But what we’re really talking about with ‘fair’ is making sure the banks play ball to take care of landlords, so landlords can play ball and take care of bars, and at the federal level and the local level, we find ways to specifically support these businesses. So we don’t have to worry about ‘fair’ and who can open and who can’t, so we aren’t making people go out and work and feed me a cocktail while I’m sitting there and I infect them and everybody dies.”

Watch the entire panel conversation:

vimeo

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