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bella-rose29 · 29 days

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April Fool's! ~ a DTH special

here's the first of (I'm sure) many Deck the Halls specials! in honour of April Fool's Day I figured it was the perfect occasion to write a lil something about our Schmoopies (who love to prank each other)

I did take a teeny bit of inspiration from @tangledinlove's heart eyes series (which if you haven't read then go now! also I recommend everything on love's master list) and wrote this special through the eyes of Holly, George, and Lucy!

edit: I should add in now that you probably could read this as a standalone? there are some references in there that might be teeny spoilers but tbh DTH is pretty formulaic so you could figure out the plot just from the summary 😂

Warnings: one or two swear words, and I think that's it? maybe a spoiler in the form of Holly being there?

Word count: 1.7k

anthony lockwood master list

enjoy the pictures of lockwood and Cameron being silly boys!

“Where is he?”

Holly looked up from where she sat at the kitchen table writing a shopping list to study the girl who stood in the doorway. Y/n had her hands on her hips and a frown on her face, and Holly felt sorry for whoever she was looking for. No doubt it was Lockwood, having forgotten an important anniversary or something, who was provoking the glare that had settled over Y/n’s features.

“Lockwood?” Holly asked, returning her attention to the shopping list. She tapped the pencil against her temple while trying to think of what she was missing.

“Yep. Have you seen him? I’ve got a bone to pick with him, the little shit.”

Holly snorted, then a thought popped into her head. She wrote down ‘tomatoes’ in neat print with her pen. “What’s he done this time?”

The other girl huffed and moved further into the kitchen, pulling open cupboards with a little too much force. “He’s pranked me! Hid all the toothbrushes in the house and now I can’t brush my teeth!”

“I- he did what?” That was such a random thing to do, and yet it was very perfectly Lockwood. “Why would he prank you?” Holly’s colleague stopped in her tracks, arms spread open with the cupboard handles in each hand, and slowly turned around. Instead of the initial frustration that had been on her face there was now confusion.

“You… you do know what day it is… right?” Holly shook her head, brows creasing. “It’s April Fool’s Day? First of the month?” Realisation dawned, and she rushed to stifle her laugh when Y/n started glaring again. “Why is that funny? Lockwood hid all the toothbrushes, Holly! How do I brush my teeth now?! I had Weetabix this morning and my mouth feels all gross,” she complained.

“I think he went out for a walk or something,” Holly answered, finishing up her list. “That was a while ago, though, so he should be back in a minute.” No sooner than she’d stopped talking the sound of the front door opening made both girls look in the direction of the hall. Shuffling noises followed while the person moved around, then footsteps grew louder and the kitchen door was pushed open to reveal the head of the company.

Anthony Lockwood was many things: a great boss, slightly suicidal at times (although the number of occasions that he threw himself directly into danger had decreased significantly after the Christmas holidays), an excellent swordsman, and a loving boyfriend to Y/n.

But as Holly watched Y/n she knew that he was also in a lot of danger.

“Ah. Hello, Darling. Holly.” He was wary, gaze flicking between the two girls as he stayed holding on to the door handle. Y/n’s eyes narrowed, and Lockwood’s attention was suddenly solely on his girlfriend. His smile faltered slightly, and there was a split second where both he and Y/n sort of… hovered, the tension in the room palpable.

Then the chaos started.

Lockwood turned and fled the room, footsteps heavy on the stairs, and Y/n was hot on his heels, yelling as she thundered after him. Holly could hear their laughter echoing through the house, and she let out a chuckle of her own as she stood up and folded the shopping list, putting it in her pocket.

Her boss was going to suffer dearly for the rest of the morning for withholding the toothbrushes, but he wouldn’t be physically harmed.

A thump sounded on one of the upper floors, something that sounded worryingly like a body hitting the ground, and pleads of mercy followed immediately while mixed in with laughter.

She was tickling him, then. Going for the feet if she wanted maximum effect or sitting on him and going for his sides if she was smart and didn’t want him wriggling away.

Holly picked up a bag and her keys in the hallway, and made for Arif’s. Hopefully Lockwood would no longer be a hostage by the time she got back.

~~~

George Karim was normally quite forgiving when it came to Y/n, but printing out tens of pictures of Penelope Fittes was a step too far for him.

“Why do you even want to do this anyway? I thought after the whole… ‘fake-dating-turned-real-dating’ thing over Christmas you weren’t fighting anymore.” He was spread in front of the printer in his room, blocking his friend from accessing it. Since getting back from her family’s house in the middle of nowhere a few months ago, after snowstorms stretched out their Christmas, Lockwood and Y/n had been annoyingly cute and coupley.

“He hid all the toothbrushes, George. He’s having a nap right now because I tickled him into exhaustion, so I’ve not got much time before-” she broke off when George tackled her to prevent her from using the printer.

“Okay… well why does that mean you’re printing loads of pictures of Penelope Fittes? The head of the company we hate?”

“… Because I’m going to cut them out and replace all the photos in the house with them.” The pair of them stopped squirming and George pushed his glasses back up his nose to stare in shock and confusion at her.

“You… what?”

“It’s April Fool’s. I’ve got like… two hours left before midday. Please, Georgie. I have to get revenge.” He sighed, then released his grip on her.

“Fine. But when he gets annoyed, you are not linking this to me. I’m not getting dragged into all of this.”

The two of them spent the next fifteen minutes printing photos and cutting them out, and when it sounded like Lockwood was stirring, Y/n sent George to keep him distracted. He penned his boss in the library where he’d fallen asleep earlier, spewing facts about the next case they were going to go on to keep Lockwood there while Y/n snuck around the house. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been waffling on about murder victims and Type 2s, but when Lockwood’s girlfriend tentatively peeked around the door he had to stop himself from visibly sighing in relief.

“You alright, Schmoopie?” Where the nickname had come from, George had no idea, but Y/n was the only one who used it and specifically only when she wanted to piss off Lockwood. Lockwood himself knew this too, and George could immediately see the suspicion creep in.

“… yeah. Are you?”

“Hm? Oh, yep!” Her grin was wide, and looked rather like a shark, and George wondered why Lockwood was staring all heart-eyed at her despite being suspicious. “Just been… finding toothbrushes.” It was Lockwood’s turn to smile now, boyish delight making him perk up.

“Get any?”

“Eventually. Took me a bloody long time though,” she mumbled the last part, but the boys still heard. George snickered. Lockwood’s smile grew. “Anyway… tea?”

“Alright then,” Lockwood replied, stretching out a hand and moving over to the doorway. Y/n took it, planting a kiss on her boyfriend’s cheek before pulling him out the room.

She sent a wink over her shoulder at George as they turned the corner and disappeared.

~~~

So far, the pranks were one each.

Lucy had noticed Y/n putting photos of Penelope Fittes in all the picture frames around 35 Portland Row, and when her friend had explained why, she had gladly joined in. Any opportunity to mess with Lockwood was an opportunity that Lucy took.

Around half an hour after Lockwood had reappeared from the library, he still hadn’t noticed that all of the photos had been replaced. He’d spotted one or two maybe, but that was it. Some were more sneaky than others, and Lucy knew that Lockwood would be finding Penelope Fittes photos for weeks after today.

Now she was sat in the living room with George, Holly, and Y/n, sketching in her pad. There was near silence in the room, the clock ticking and what sounded like suppressed snorts of laughter outside the door the only noises. Lucy frowned, glancing at the door every few seconds. After another minute or so of stifled laughter Lockwood appeared, mouth pinched to hide the smile on his face as he walked in and sat on the arm of his normal armchair where Y/n was sat.

“…Lockwood?” Lucy asked. “Why are you wearing a hat? You’re… indoors?”

“Oh! Just felt like it! Thought it would be nice to wear something a little more fun. For morale, you know?”

Y/n looked up then, and gaped at the top hat perched on her boyfriend’s head. “You’re ridiculous, Anthony.”

“Yep. We’ve had this conversation before, Darling.” All talk died down after that, Lockwood occasionally murmuring a word or two to help Y/n with her crossword, and the members of the agency were at peace. At some point Lockwood excused himself to the toilet, and when he came back around five minutes later (they’d all heard the toilet flush) there was something slightly off about him. He still had the top hat on, but something was bugging Lucy.

The same process repeated, Lucy looking up at him every now and then to try and figure out what was different and Y/n doing the same (the two girls had shared multiple confused looks), and then Lockwood excused himself to get a plate of biscuits. When he came back, Lucy once again felt something was off. The biscuits were passed around, crossword helped, top hat still in place, then Lockwood came up with another reason to leave the room.

It was the fourth time he returned that Y/n appeared to realise what was happening. “Ohh, I see what you’re doing, Anthony Lockwood.”

“Do you?” he asked, innocent as a child. “I’ve noticed the photographs - don’t think I haven’t.”

“Oh, have fun finding them all. Why do you have multiple sizes of the same top hat?”

Lockwood shrugged. “Disguises. Why did you have so many photos of the head of the Fittes company?”

“Does it matter? You’ll be finding them for weeks.”

They finished their friendly bickering in hushed tones, Y/n standing up to let Lockwood sit down and balance her on his lap, and Lucy smiled softly at them.

After wrangling the whole story of what had happened over the Christmas holidays out of the two of them, Lucy had spent roughly the last two and a half months teasing the living daylights out of the couple for their antics, but she couldn’t deny how cute they were together.

She just hoped that the current poking in the sides they were doing didn’t turn into decking each other instead.

Cut scene (alternative prank):

Now she was sat in her room in the attic, one leg hanging off the edge with the other folded underneath while she drew in her sketchbook. The creaking of the steps up to her floor alerted her to someone’s presence, and after a few seconds Lockwood’s head appeared, followed by his body. “Ah, Luce, thought I’d find you here.” He had something in his hand, shiny in a crinkly plastic bag. “I need your help to-” he broke off, mid-movement while he peered at one of the pictures on Lucy’s bedside table. It was of the five of them, Lockwood, George, Holly, Y/n, and herself, except in the place of Skull sat on the sideboard was Penelope Fittes’ face. “Oh for fuck’s sake. Did she put some of these up here, too?” Lucy struggled not to smile.

“Must have done it when I was in the kitchen earlier.” That was a lie, Lucy had done it herself. “What did you need me for?”

“Ah!” He lifted the plastic bag and grinned. “Doubloons. Not real ones, obviously, I bought them from a cheap party shop down the road. I’m going to hide them around the house.”

Tag list:

@strawberryloveyyy, @chameleon021, @genderfluid-anime-goth, @cottagecore-babe, @anthonylockwoodandco111, @a-taken-url, @ahead-fullofdreams, @aislinrayne, @anathemaloren, @anthgoldenhrry, @augustisintheair, @aysha4life, @briar-rose23, @curseofhecate, @dangelnleif, @edible-rat-vomit, @el-de-phi, @ell0ra-br3kk3r, @ettadear, @fearlessmoony, @fudosl, @idkbubs, @imaginebeingmentallystable, @informedimagining, @karensirkobabes, @lady-ashfade, @light-23, @locklyebrainrot, @locklyle1kanij, @locknco, @magicandrosewaters, @mentallyillsodapop, @mischivana, @mitskiswift99, @mrsklockwood, @mrsyixingunicorn10, @newbooksmell777, @no-morning-glories, @novelizt, @phlooper, @ran23sblog, @reggiepeterss, @simrah1012, @somethingrandomwatzit, @star-of-velaris, @superpositvecloudshipper, @t2sh0, @taygrls, @tournesol77, @whistle1whistle, @whenselenefallsinlove, @wordsarelife, @y0urm0m12, @zoom1374, @asyouwish-fromcabin3, @rhysand-devorak, @a-candle-maker, @h0lyheck, @apple-bottom-jeans6, @icantwaittoliveandlearn

@neewtmas, @bobbys-not-that-small, @avdiobliss, @demigoddess-of-ghosts, @maraschinomerry, @lewkwoodnco, @uku-lelevillain, @oblivious-idiot

as always, if there is anybody who wants to be added to my lockwood tag list, then please go here!

#deck the halls (and not your partner)#deck the halls specials #lockwood and co #lockwood & co #anthony lockwood #anthony lockwood x reader #lockwood x reader #anthony lockwood x you

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invisible-pink-toast · 2 years

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spike is so hilarious to me because he’s got so many contrasting aspects to him:

vampire

always goes out in the day

punk rock

victorian gentleman

horny af

hopeless romantic

owns way too much leather

Romantic

kinky af

poet

loves violence

loves soap operas

notorious murderer

has to prove he’s cooler than a 14 year old

mansplain manipulate manslaughter manwhore malewife etc

became a vampire and immediately went: ‘yay! now i can make my mum a vampire too and save her from tuberculosis!’

gets off on fighting

has to practice a speech to give the girl he likes a birthday present

drinks and smokes enough to kill a human

also drinks hot cocoa and eats weetabix

lives in a crypt

dark victorian aesthetic

but also a fridge and tv

has killed 2 slayers

fell in love with a slayer

go to babysitter

has a deathwish

punches a stick figure drawing of his sort-of-girlfriends ex

names include: ‘William the Bloody’ and ‘Spike’ because he tortured his victims with railroad spikes

makes references to The Music Man & Nightmare Before Christmas

only vampire in history to fight for his soul and get it back

one true love is a deep fried onion blossom

#like????#spike #btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #spuffy #my post

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adventure-showdown · 6 months

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What is your favourite Doctor Who story?

ROUND 1 MASTERPOST

synopses and propaganda under the cut

Wall’s Sky Ray lollies advert

Synopsis

The Second Doctor is attempting to pilot the TARDIS, when he is attacked by two Daleks which have entered the ship. The Doctor covers his face from the Daleks.

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

Merry Christmas Doctor Who

Synopsis

The Doctor, Romana and K9 drink in the TARDIS in celebration of Christmas.

Propaganda

k-9 gets drunk and sings we wish you a merry christmas, the doctor looks mysteriously into the camera when asked what he would like for christmas and the entire crew and cast burst out laughing. it was made for an internal bbc christmas tape in 1978 and i love it so much (@lilydvoratrelundar )

Step into the 80s/On Through the 80s

Synopsis

These were adverts for Prime Computers, they featured the 4th Doctor, Romana II, and K9

Propaganda

you can tell this was at the point when tom baker and lalla ward were shagging (@lilydvoratrelundar )

It’s the weirdest commercial I’ve ever seen. (anonymous)

A Fix with Sontarans

Synopsis

There was no synopsis on TARDIS wiki, and I'm not going to write one because I'd have to watch this first and no thank you. (Jimmy Saville is in it, honestly i feel gross just typing his name). This needs to be a free pass for everything else in this group, I’m so serious.

Propaganda

do not vote for this one please. google jimmy savile if you're wondering. that being said i think this is an extremely important part of doctor who canon and deserves to lose a vote in this bracket (@lilydvoratrelundar )

Dalek Weetabix advert

Synopsis

A message from the Supreme Dalek to all other Daleks. Destroy the weetabix.

Propaganda no propaganda submitted

Famine Appeal 1985

Synopsis

The Doctor urges the viewers to donate and help with the famine in Ethiopia.

Propaganda

his incredible hair should sell this on its own (@lilydvoratrelundar )

#do not vote for a fix with sontarans #not even as a joke #im so serious #this should be a free pass for everything else #if you don't know jimmy saville is in this one #do people outside the uk know about him #i don't know but im not going to explain right now #look it up if you want #but the short version is he was a really famous guy and after he died a lot of people were finally able to come forward #about the terrible things he did to them #just don't vote for a fix with sontarans please #round 1

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thescholarlystrumpet · 2 months

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New WIP Tag Game!

Courtesy of the wonderful @weirdly-specific-but-ok <3

Give me three lines/paragraphs that you've written that you love [fiction, non-fiction, from different works or the same, from completed stories or poems or WIPs, from yesterday or ten years ago]. If that seems hard, even one will do. It doesn't have to be perfect. It can just be something silly that gives you joy.

And give me three lines/paragraphs that you've written that you dislike and find shitty. Anything at all as long as you wrote it. If you think it's ridiculous or absolute fucking garbage, even better! That's the point of this game. To see that we all write good things and bad things. Yeah? You can do this. And remember that both these categories are subjective.

Shitty lines (hard to find not because I don't write them but because I erase them as fast as I can think of a new one...)

They were tree trunks wider around than some men are tall with myriad scrubby looking bushes around them, looking almost like God herself had just throw piles of leaves down haphazardly. (Crowley is accidentally Robin Hood and Strumpet is bad at describing foliage)

"Getting a bit long in the tooth for crawling around on bad carpeting, these days.” Crowley took a beat, shouted something obscene toward the screen, then turned his full attention back to Aziraphale. “Maybe I shouldn’t tell you that, though. Since I was hoping you assumed I was a ripe twenty-something.” (RHPS WIP, just don't love that last line yet)

“But it was way cool of you. Really.” Newt smiled, a genuine and guileless thing, much like the man, himself. (Glam Rock AU - wanted Newt to awkwardly use 70's slang but google failed me and 'groovy' was too obvious)

Lines I love

RHPS Fic:

“Do you often scare off audience members?”

“Only the ones with no imagination…” Crowley shrugged one shoulder. “Or the ones who only get on their knees in church.”

Priest AU:

When asked about Miss Device directly, Crowley seemed to give a different answer to every person:

She’s my long lost aunt.

Sorry, never heard the name. Sounds a bit pretentious.

Wait, you can see her, too?

Glam Rock AU: (this one needs context)

“I’m not repeating that,” she seemed to be talking to someone else, possibly covering the receiver as she did so. “You’re an absolute terror,” she told the other person before the muffling ceased and her voice was clear again on the line. “Sorry about that. We, uh, I mean I just needed to know if I should stock up on anything for Mr. Fell on Wednesday. Tea? Biscuits? Newt will know what I mean.”

There was another series of sounds and more poorly stifled laughter, then a familiar voice chimed in, fuzzy and echoing in the background but unmistakable.

“Weetabix! So he can shite out that stick up his arse!”

The woman on the phone covered the receiver again, though not before releasing a snort of laughter, herself. There was a series of shushing noises and Fell knew he ought to simply hang up. The message had been delivered. And then some.

Tagging @hakunahistata @voluptatiscausa @ineffabildaddy @mrghostrat @kotias @theravenmuse @malachitegrey @captainblou @ineffablyruined @mrscakeishere and anyone else who wants to!

#wip tag game #fic writing post #writblr #good omens #good omens fic #good omens fanfic #aziracrow fic

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scenetocause · 11 months

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Hello beloved emptyhalf if you have any Lewis and Lando cute thoughts I would love to hear them. I think about Lando being depressed on Lewis' couch in Monaco fic all the time it cracks me up

oh god lando and lewis is just a whole thing. lewis likes lando soooooooooooo much. lando is lewis' special little guy and also he wants to like, pass on some sort of mantle to him. but because he likes him in super cringe ways lewis wants to steal lando's hat and mess him up a bit and make him blush and feel how much lando's in awe of lewis at the same time as lewis is just like, embarrassingly obsessed with lando. terrible. when they clobbered each other in spain i was like oh no lewis is gonna be thinking about that all race because like, neither of them makes mistakes but someone clearly did there and that is just unpossible. such a great driver lando is legendary but [very quiet] i love you lewis is the heart of the situation. lewis knows he has all the power and platform to be nice about lando and lando obviously is massively in awe of lewis, that time he was talking to max on stream about playing golf with him and they were being soooooo shifty about it because omg actual lewis hamilton and lando doesn't hold the right cards in this situation to cringily fangirl back but he's doing that squeaky laugh thing you fucking know he does when he's flirting.

the fact lewis barely knows who george is, by comparison, is fucking hilarious. george studies lewis with incredible intensity and lewis is just like oh yeah, that guy. he'll fret all race from lightly tapping lando but he'd prob crash george out in turn one and never think about it again. who is george? lewis for one doesn't care and although i am a george enjoyer i think that's extremely funny of him.

monaco-fic-verse drabble under the cut

"Moved over with the big boys, huh?" Lewis isn't really expecting Lando to jump out of his skin in the cereal section of Casino but ok, maybe he could've announced himself better.

"Yeah, erm. Yeah?" Lando is looking extremely furtive about the contents of his basket, which mostly looks like Cheestrings and loo roll.

"It's nice being, y'know, normal." Lewis reaches for the Weetabix, then considers it. "Was this what you were after?"

"Uhm, yeah but you - you can have it. I've got." Lando gestures at the completely cereal-free contents of his basket and Lewis resists the urge to laugh at him.

"Nah man, you have it. You're still settling in, I've probably got a box somewhere." He tips the pack into Lando's basket, claps a hand on his elbow. "Honestly I was just kinda leaving the house for the sake of it, I dunno what I'm even here for."

"Oh, same." Lando nearly manages it without stuttering, then seems to panic like he's been over-familiar. "Like, I don't know, I've got to get used to it haven't I? Finding everything and being on my own and so on."

"It's not a big place, you'll get the jist pretty fast." Lewis gives up on pretending he's not going to buy a baguette, while he's in here and Ange can moan at him about the pointless carbs later. "And there's people around, y'know."

"Yeah." Lando sounds very small, suddenly. "I'd just got used to - I left him at home and it was probably right but it's. Lots to adjust to."

That feels like a confession Lewis has missed a few steps on, glancing round to see Lando looking semi-distressed, fiddling with his ring.

"You can... come round, if you want? Roscoe likes visitors." He has no idea why he's saying this, there hasn't been another F1 driver in his flat since the last thermonuclear fight with Nico but there's... something, to what Lando said that makes him think it might be not like that but somewhere that cuts near to it.

"Oh. Yeah!" Lando says it too fast, seems to pull himself back again. "I mean, if that's alright? I'm just. It's all kind of tricky."

Half an hour later, Lewis coaxes just enough vague detail out of Lando to know the thing is so certain there's no way the guy should still be back in the UK. And this is going to take a lot of cups of tea to untangle.

#emptyhalf fic

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watsittoyah · 1 year

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Steven Grant x OC Fem Black reader (Marc later on)

Anchor…

Ch 1-To Being Weirdos

Word Count: 7.6k

Chapter intel- Some slow burn, some flirting, SMUT! MINOR’S DNI! Blood and gore description(later on in chapters). Nyctophobia (an extreme fear of the dark) build up for chapter two

And you think I’m crazy…well that’s not fair…

Ivy’s POV

I wake up already, forgetting whatever dreams that seeped through my unconscious thoughts while I was in slumber and give an obvious yawn.

“Alright Ivy, today’s the day. You got your big girl job, and you are going to have a good day.” I glanced at my flickering nightlight at the foot of the bed, trying to push back the negative thoughts about myself.

You’re 32 years old, why are you still sleeping with a nightlight?

Why are you so afraid of the dark? Grow up.

Fucking loser.

I shut my eyes and try to dash the bad thoughts away.

“Stop, stop, stop!” I then hear the upstairs neighbor walking around and talking on his phone. “Morning, Mum…” I lay there for a while with my eyes closed. Wondering what it would be like, to be normal like him upstairs. “Good morning Gus my little one finned wonder...” His voice seems nice, much better than the voices in my own head.

“Ivy! Time to get up, love.“ My great aunt Milly calls out down the hall. I sigh and cuddle my knees just for a few more minutes before getting up to shower.

•••

I might have been a bit too overzealous on showing up to work. I practically dragged my poor Great Aunt out of the house to bring me here an hour early. Then again, I wanted to check the museum out.

A small statue happens to catch my attention, and I find myself staring into its eyes. They were a dark purple, which reminded me of someone. “Hmm.”

“Will you look at that? Looks like someone mistook the statue of Keket for a rubbish dump.” I snap out of my trance as I hear a familiar voice beside me. That’s when I noticed a wad of gum on the nameplate of the statue.

“Gum shouldn’t be allowed in beautiful places.” I reach into my purse and pull out a disposable napkin and take the minty sticky substance off of the statue.

“Do I detect an American accent? You must be Ivy Hemlock word gets around the museum fast.” The man says that he extends his hand towards me. I give his hand a once over, but I dare not to shake it. “And you are?“ I ask narrowing my eyes at him. “Oh, where are my manners, my name is Steven Grant. I believe you are shadowing me today.“

“Oh! I’m so sorry, my great Aunt Milly tells me to steer clear of men in other countries because you never know if they’re going to kidnap you and then harvest your organs so they could be put on the black market.” He gives me a concerned look and I just realized the words I just spoke out loud.

“Did I mention that my great aunt is senile?” I try to joke. Thankfully he takes the joke and gives a laughs. “Right, aren’t all of our aunts a bit senile?” He gives me a kind smile and I relax my shoulders.

I like his voice, why do I like his voice?

“Stevie, you better not be scaring the new girl. She just got here and I don’t want her picking up your bad habits.” Donna warns as she stops by holding a large amount of boxes.

“Sorry, Donna. I was just introducing myself.” Steven clumsily takes the boxes from Donna and I go to help but she stops me. “Stevie’s got it.”

“Steven, actually. I am…Steven.” He corrects as he places the boxes down in the back room. I look at Steven and he makes me feel like I’m watching a child get verbally abused by a bully.

I cut my eyes at Donna and I want to shove her in a closet and lock her in it.

Like Melissa did to you?

I swallow that bad thought away and continue to listen to the conversation. “No you’re bloody useless. You don’t get paid to chit chat to the new people. You’re here to show her around and then get to work.”

Who shit in her weetabix?

“Got it.” Steven says defeated. Donna leaves us and I chime in. “Is she always like that?

“Like what?”

“A cunt.” Steven gives a chortle which makes me happy.

Why am I happy that he’s happy?

“Don’t let her hear you say that. But yeah, she is a big one if I don’t say so myself. Anyways let’s get you all set up, yeah?” I nod and he shows me around.

The way he speaks about the Egyptian artifacts and gods makes me think he’s been there before. “You really know your stuff huh?” I ask as I glance at a painting that says it was painted to depict what the underworld would look like.

“I love stuff like this. But how about you? Do you like Egyptian gods and whatnot?” I give a nod. “I do, my father was the inspiration for it. I remember he told me he was going to explore the pyramids. It was around the time I was….” The sentence dies in my throat and I quickly change the subject.

“Uh, loois? I mean loo? Bathroom? I’m sorry I need to learn more of the lingo while I’m staying here. I’m sorry.” Steven gives a chuckle.

“Its okay, it’s on the second floor, take a left. And be careful the door likes to stick from time to time.” I give a slight nod and head in the direction he tells me.

As I enter I see a few school girls in the bathroom checking their faces and taking selfies. I don’t think I remember if I was vain like that when I was their age. Then again mirrors always made me jumpy.

I go to the farthest stall and check it over. Once the coast is clear I close the stall door behind me. I then hear the girls all leave, so I do my business. Once I’m done I flush and check my watch.

Just in time for lunch.

I leave the stall and notice that the room is silent, not even the outside noise could be heard. I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as I turn on the water to wash my hands.

Get a hold of yourself Ivy. If you do anything out of the ordinary then your coworkers will say you’re crazy just like the last few jobs.

And you’d hate to break your great aunts heart after she had pulled some strings to get you into the place.

One of the stall doors slowly opens and I see a hand slink into the stall. “I think my hands are washed enough, I can air dry them.” I say as I wipe my hands on my slacks. I turn to the exit and feel cold breathe against my neck.

Ivy…

I shut my eyes and clench my fists together.

Ivy…

“Leave me alone.” I whisper as I feel frozen in fear.

Ivy…

I feel my nails breaking the skin of my palms and I try to walk forward.

But the voice then slowly turns into a demonic low growl.

Ivy…

IVY!

I wait for the calm to take place, but it never comes. I slowly open my eyes and the bathroom lights began to dim. Which caused a panic in my chest.

I turn and there in the corner of my eye, the stall door opens, and like a horror movie I tall black figure slink out. It’s joints moving in the opposite direction. It makes direct eye contact with me and if I hadn’t already used the bathroom I would have definitely pissed and shit myself.

It suddenly reaches for me and I fall back hitting the doorknob at my back. I then let out the loudest blood curdling scream I could muster. The mirrors all seem to bow inward making the creatures reflection look like a strange funhouse attraction.

“Someone open the door! Please! Let me out of here!” I yank and tug at the door but it’s not budging. I can feel the entity reach out to me and I scream louder praying to whatever God to answer me.

Just then the door flies open and before I could thank my savior I push past them and fall flat on my ass. When I look back I see Steven and I see the entity staring sadly at me by his shoulder. I scream and my fist shoots out. My knuckle hit his cheek.

I ignore the pain to my knuckles and I bring my knees to my chest. Everyone was staring as I started crying. “It’s in the bathroom! Its after me! Its after me!” I sob out as I rock back and forth.

“Ivy? Ivy? Look at me.” I look past his shoulder and the entity was gone.

Great everyone at work knows I’m crazy…

•••

Donna had let me take my break early. And I was sitting crossed legged on a bench with my sad excuse of a sandwich and my hand wrapped. Looking down and having flashes of what I saw an hour ago made me lose my appetite. God I just want to crawl into my bed with all the lights on and never leave.

“That’s looks good. What kind of sandwich is that?” I hear Steven’s voice but I don’t look up. “You don’t have to talk to me. I know everyone thinks I’m crazy.” I feel him sit next to me which makes me scoot away from him.

“I don’t think that.” I look up at him through angry tears. “Don’t fucking lie to me, Steven.” I say with as much venom in my tone. He puts his hands up to let me know he comes in peace. “I’m not lying. I don’t think you’re mad. You seemed like you saw something in there. What was it?” He gives a quizzical look and as I open my mouth to tell him what I saw, I stop.

He’s going to laugh at you like the others.

Insane Ivy strikes again.

I close my mouth and shake my head. “Ivy, I don’t know what you think about me, but I do want to be friends. I don’t have many of them, and many people here see me as a weirdo. So how about we be weirdo’s together?”

Okay he is terrible at cheering people up. Which is why I can’t understand why am I laughing?

“You know you suck at this.” I say through a few tearful laughs. He smiles at me and I look at my chewed cuticles. “You’ll probably think I’m dumb but I saw something in the bathroom. It was like this talk gangly thing…” I glance over at him and he seemed to actually be listening to me.

“…the way it moved, it reminded me of a zombie or something. It just…scared me.” I say in a soft voice. “I believe you.” My head snaps up at him so fast I almost give myself whiplash. “You do? Why?” He shrugs. “I don’t have a reason not to believe you. And besides you give a mean left hook so why would I argue with you?” He says as I glance at his swollen cheek.

“I’m so sorry about that. I didn’t mean to hit you.” I reach into my bag and pull out a cooling pack. “Maybe this will help?”

I snap it and it instantly gets cold. He accepts my offering and places it in his cheek. He winced in pain and I feel guilty. “We can be weirdos together.” I mutter after a few moments of silence.

“Really?” He asks almost in shock that I would accept his friendship. “I don’t have any friends. And besides my dad and Aunt Milly, you’re the only other person who believes me. So thank you for that.” I take a bite of my now soggy sandwich and swallow down the dry roast beef my great aunt had attempted to make.

Next time I’ll cook. This tastes like cardboard.

“Well if you ever want to hang out, you can give me a buzz.” He reaches into his pocket and takes out a phone. I realize what he’s doing and my lips form a large O. Last time I got a number from someone who wanted to be my friend, they told me to delete them after I made a scene at their party.

I punch in my number and save it under Ivy in his phone. I call myself and I see his number pop up on my screen. “To being weirdos.” He says with a winced smile.

Did I mention how much I like his voice?

•••

“Hi dad.” I place a fresh bouquet of flowers on his grave and sit down. “Last night Great Aunt Milly made roast beef, I had to suffer in silence and choke it down. But you already know she’s a terrible cook.” I laugh at the memories of how my dad would get food poisoning whenever we came to London for the holidays and spend them with with Great Aunt Milly. She’s the reason I question grilled cheese.

“Oh! And I got a new night light. That’s isn’t new uh, I got a job. I’m actually surprised I still have it. Because…” I look at his headstone.

Henry Hemlock. A husband, father, explorer. Gone too soon. 1958-2019

“It reached to me, dad. This thing was something from my nightmares and it scared the hell out of me…Because you’re not here…Dad I miss you. You…you were the only one who could keep the things that went bump in the night away. I miss your vo-please! Please if this is one of your jokes, it was funny for the past few years but I need you. Daddy I need you. I need my anchor back.” The tears fall from my eyes and down the back of my throat.

I try to keep the ugly tears back but I fail miserably. I curl up next to his headstone and just cry hard. “I miss you…”

•••

I get the dirt off of my jeans as I slowly walk up the the apartment steps. I hear steps coming down and I look up and see-

“Steven?” He had his phone to his ear and his brows were pinched together. “Ivy? What are you doing here?”

I quickly explain myself before my only friend thinks I’m stalking him.

“My Great Aunt Milly, she lives here and I’m staying with her.” His face softens then. “I’m sorry Mum, one moment please. Well then hello neighbor.”

“Hello, sorry if I’m bothering you.” He shakes his head. “No, no. Never a bother. But what floor are you on?”

“Uh the third floor, you?”

“The fourth floor. Sorry if I’m a bit loud up there.” That’s when it hits me. “Wait! That was you? You’re the neighbor I hear every morning talking to his mother-”

“Ivy? Can you come taste this-oh hello there.” Great Aunt Milly says at the top of the steps. “Hello, Miss Hemlock.” Steven greets. “Please dear, call me Milly. Ivy he’s quite handsome isn’t he?”

“Okay, Steven I’ll see you later, Aunt Milly please let’s get inside before you set-oh god! What are you burning?” I run past Steven and past Aunt Milly to find she was making some terrifying concoction. “AUNT MILLY! WHAT IS THIS!?”

•••

It’s been a month and I think Aunt Milly is trying to set me up with Steven. However I keep reminding her that he’s just a really good friend.

“He seems so nice and sweet. Maybe we should invite the lad over.” I was fixing my braids into a high bun in the mirror and I roll my eyes at her suggestion. “Aunt Milly we want Steven to live to see the next day.”

“Then get take away.” I suck my teeth and I turn jumping as I see the old lady standing there. Strangely Aunt Milly looked…older. Her wrinkles seem to kiss her dark skin. Which made it look like a trusty black leather couch that’s been around for over 100 years.

I cock my head to the side because honestly I have no clue how old Aunt Milly was, she’s just always looked old.

“I won’t be around forever, Ivy-“

Here we go again, Aunt Milly telling me about how she isn’t going to live long. But this woman is going to outlive God himself.

I place my hands on her shoulders. “Aunt Milly, you don’t need to worry about me. I’m going to live with you forever. But I get it you want me to be happy. How about I go on a date? You know Tom? He asked me out, I was going to say no but now I’ll go. For you okay?” She smiles at me and cups my face in her hands.

“Ivy, I just want you to be happy. You haven’t been the same since the incident. And I miss that smile.” I fake one and she swats me on the ass. “Don’t be cheeky, little minx. Now go get ready for work. You’ll miss the bus. And don’t forget you have a session with Dr. Pence.” I kiss her cheek and hug her.

She smells like dad, cinnamon and sage. “Okay, I’m going. I’m going. Love you Milly.” I call over my shoulder as I grab my purse and lunch bag.

I stand at the bus stop and peek down the road to see if Steven was coming. I heard him this morning on the phone with his mother.

“Must be nice.” I mumble as the double decker wheels around the corner. Once it stops I take a step and glance to see Steven running for the bus. I stand there as the driver gives me an annoyed look but I don’t care.

Friends don’t leave friends behind.

He catches up moments later, winded and gives me a smile. “Good morning neighbor.” I say with a cheerful smile. “Good morning neighbor.” He says back. I had managed to get us a seat in the corner and he let me have the window seat.

He gives a yawn and shakes his head. “Sorry, just a bit tired.” I can see he has dark circles and bags under his eyes. Almost like he hadn’t slept in days. Come to think about it I haven’t heard him on the phone with his mother or foot steps above me for the past few days.

“It’s okay, I’m just happy to hold the bus for you. I have some good news. Remember Tom?”

“Tom…Tom from security?”

“Yeah, he asked me out. I think I’m gonna say yes.” This makes Steven give me an odd look. “Be careful with that one, he has a reputation with the ladies.” My ears perk up. “Like what?” I ask as I lean in. He does the same, which gives a whiff of his aftershave.

He smells like winter pine. And has his lashes alway been this long?

Ivy focus!

“A few of the ladies at the front desk have said he can get too touchy if you know what I mean.”

“I can handle him, Steven. I had hit you and you turned out fine. Wait no that is a terrible joke. You shouldn’t hit people.”

We both laugh and he taps his knee. “Well I got a date Friday night. With Dylan, we’re going to a steak house.” It was my turn to give him a look. “Aren’t you vegan? What are you going to a steak house for?”

“I don’t know, Ivy. Bread, salad. All I know is that she thinks I’m cute and I’m happy.”

“Well of course you’re cute. You’d be stupid to think you’re not.” I feel Steven looking at me from the corner of my eyes but I turn my head to look out the window.

Nope, we’re gonna ignore what I said…

•••

It’s finally Sunday and I was dressed up for the big date. I wonder how Steven’s date had went.

Why are you worried about his date, Ivy? Worry about yours.

“Aunt Milly can you help me zip this dress please?” I ask her as I try to find my other earring. I had on a jade green dress that made my dark tan skin look like royalty. My jewelry was gold which made me look flawless.

She helps me zip up the dress and I feel something cold slide on my finger. I look down and see Aunt Milly placed an odd ring on my finger.

“What’s this?” I ask turning to her. “Just an old family heirloom. It belonged to your mother.” I look down at the ring and admire it.

“My mother?” One thing about my father, he avoided talking about my mother at all costs. Whenever I asked about her he would just change the subject or tell me that he would tell me all about her when I got older.

“What was she like? What did she look like? Do you have any photos of her?” I bombard her with questions and she gives a whimsical laugh. “Dear, I will tell you all about her when you get back from your date, now don’t stay out too long. Stay safe and please put on a jacket.” I lean down and she kisses my head and I sigh. “Guess you’re coming with me mom.” I whispers to the ring as I head out the door.

Three hours later…

Maybe he’s just running late. Maybe he got caught up in traffic and…

“Miss, the kitchen will be closing soon.” The waiter says to me. I had crumbled a napkin in my lap and I look at my phone. Tom hadn’t answered my calls or my text messages.

“Right, can I have your biggest container of ice cream to go please? And a slice of-make it two slices of chocolate cake.”

I manage to ask without crying. My tears stain my dress and I hope that maybe as the waiter gets my order that Tom will somehow appear and apologize a million times about being so late.

I take an Uber back home and put on the biggest fake smile I can gather. “Thank you for tonight Tom.” I yell as I unlock the door. I kick off my heels and lock the door behind me. “Aunt Milly?” I call out to her. But I get no response. I do hear her tv on low. When I walk into the living room she was laying there with her eyes closed.

I walk over to her and pull the quilt over her little body. “How was the date?” I jump hearing her ask as her eyes were still closed. “Jesus, Mary and Joseph. You scared me! The date was great, we had drinks, and steak-“

“Don’t lie to me, I always know when you’re lying, Ivy Dorthy Hemlock.” I hate when she uses my full name, makes me feel like I’m four years old and I’m in big trouble. “What’s wrong?” All she did was ask that two word question and I broke down dropping my leftovers.

“He..he stood me up.” She gets up and pulls me onto her lap. “Oh love, it’s alright. These things happen. Why I remember when my date first stood me up. It was back in…well way back when.”

“What did you do about it?”

“I walked up to his brand new Chevy and I smashed all the windows out with a brick.” I snort on my tears and we both end up laughing.

Aunt Milly and I sat down watching Jeopardy while she parted and greased my scalp. “What is 101 Dalmatians?” I guess. And I was correct. “You need to go on this show, Ivy. You’d win it all I know it.” I shrug hand her some more grease for my scalp.

“Aunt Milly can you tell me about my mother now?” In the way she moved her hands I can tell she’s hesitating.” I look up at her and she gives a big sigh. “That serious?” I ask.

“Your mother…was like no other woman. Powerful force when she entered the room, and that room was filled with her enemies. Tsk, before I tell you more will you bring these to that lovely boy, he’s in apartment 444.” I frown because I know she’s stalling.

“Who’s in that apartment?” She gets up and walks to the kitchen to bring back a plate covered in saran wrap. “That lovely lad, Steven. I’ve been feeding his goldfish when he leaves on some days.”

How close are Aunt Milly and Steven?

She hands me the plate before I can protest and and starts pushing me out the door. “What is it?” I ask trying to peek. “Cookies, I baked them my self.” I stop in my tracks. “I’m not giving him this. You’re going to commit a murder with these disks of death.”

“You little she devil.” She pinched the fat on my arm and did a twist causing me to yelp. “Ouch! Old lady that hurt!”

“Go bring him the cookies or I’ll force them down your little throat.”

“Yes ma’am.” I know better than to eat her food, I don’t wanna die. Sorry Steven, better you than me. I slide on my sneakers and make my way up to his apartment.

“Old lady got a mean ass grip. I should throw these at her head.” I mumble in a huff as I move my hair out of my face. When I get to Steven’s door, I knock and wait a moment.

“I probably saved your life if you don’t answer.” Which I was hoping he wouldn’t so I can grill Aunt Milly about my mother.

I tuck the death disks under my arm, ready to retreat down the steps but I hear the door open. Right there stood a sad sap, who happened to be Steven.

“You got some smuck on the corner of your face.” I point out. “Sorry, it’s chocolate. Uh come in, come in.” He ushers me in as he wipes his face clean. I look around his place and it looked so cluttered. Then again I’ve seen worse. “Sorry for the mess, I’ve been meaning to tidy up a bit.” I shake my head.

“No it’s fine I was just dropping by. Aunt Milly wanted you to have this, but toss it. Trust me, you don’t want to eat that…wait, what’s wrong?” He looked like he was on the verge of tears. “I don’t know really. Remember the date I was supposed to have?”

“The date you had Friday?” He gives me a gutted look as if I just told him his dog died. “Bullocks, she’s never going to talk to me. What day is it?”

“Sunday…” He then sit down on a stool with his face in his hands, and I kneel in front of him as I hear him about to cry.

“Hey, whatever happened it’s going to be OK. How about we get fat off of some ice cream. We can talk about how crappy our dates are if that’ll make you feel better.”

Steven looks up at me wiping his tears. “What happened? Did he? Did he try anyth-“ I stop him right there because I can see him getting angry. Which was weird to see.

“No nothing happened. In fact Tom never showed up. But hey maybe it wasn’t meant to be. So what do you say wanna humor this freak and eat some junk?”

Steven gives a smile which honestly makes me want to call him beautiful.

“Yeah, us weirdos got to stick together, you know. I got some ice cream in the fridge. I hope you like chocolate.”

“Love it, let me help you. Oh do you have sprinkles? The rainbow kind? Those are my favorite topping for ice cream.”

“Mine too, they’re in the top cupboard on the left.” He tells me. We scoop ice cream into some bowls and start talking about different subjects.

Like how Steven wanted to bring his mom down during his vacation. He told me he wanted me to meet her. I told him that when I get enough money I would go through my fathers bucket list and do everything he wanted to do. He gave me a smile and I swoon.

Were his eyes always this brown?

We were on his couch just talking and I hardly notice how close our knees are touching. Or how his hand keeps bumping against my wrist when he tells me an excited story.

I grow quiet as I let him talk and my thoughts get a bit, not so innocent.

I watch his tongue and as he licks his lips. I wonder what other things he’d like to lick. Maybe my neck…

Or my bottom lip…

I can picture his tongue dipping into my belly button just to tease me…

And finally I can picture his tongue flicking across my cl-

“Ivy? Hello earth to Ivy.” I snap out of my fantasies and clear my throat. “Sorry, for spacing out. That was rude.”

“It’s fine, sometimes I space out. Then again I black out sometimes and that’s not really fun.”

“Steven.” I place my half eaten bowl of ice cream down on his table and turn to him. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure anything, Ivy. Ask away.” I take a calm breathe, because this can go two ways, he could reject me and I have to go into witness protection for the rest of my life, or we both can get lucky.

“Can you close your eyes for me?” I ask. He then puts his empty bowl down on the table. “Uh, sure. Not sure why you’d want me to do that but fine. Fine, I’ll do it.” He closes his eyes and I let out a breathe I didn’t know I was holding.

Here goes nothing.

I lean in and kiss him, which causes him to move back and I stop. But we were both wide eyed with barely an inch between us.

I was the first one to stand up. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave.” As I walk I feel a gentle tug on my shirt. “Don…don’t go. You just surprised me, is all. I just can’t believe someone as beautiful as you would want to kiss me.” I give him a puzzled frown.

“Steven, I meant what I said the other day on the bus. You’d be stupid if you didn’t think you were cute. Then again you’re more than cute, when you smile you face…light up like the moon. Your voice it-no. Nope, I’m not going there. Just please know I’ll understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore.”

“Why in the bloody hell would I want to stop being your friend? I like you.” My heart skips hearing him confess that to me. I look down and see he’s still holding onto my shirt.

“Maybe I’m a bit heart broken over the date or maybe it’s a sugar high from all the ice cream I’ve had tonight but, do you want to kiss me? If not reject me so I can move on.” I force out a laugh but he wasn’t laughing.

Instead he tugs me forward and I follow. He looks up at me and those brown eyes seem to hide something dark in them.

“I would like to kiss you, very much.” My body leans in and I feel my legs doing their own thing. I straddle his legs and I reach up cupping his face.

His gorgeous face, how does this man not find himself attractive?

I rub my thumbs across his stubbled face and he closes his eyes. If I had a camera right now I would snap a picture of this man.

I pause for a moment and just study his face. His lashes seem to kiss his cheeks, the wrinkles on his face, looks like road maps that I want to explore. His fussy raven curly hair, falls on his face and I lean down, kissing where the curls fall.

I hear a soft groan escape his lips and his hands travel from my shirt to the curve on my hips. I kiss down his beautiful face and with each kiss he lets out a groan.

When my lips finally meet his, I feel one of his hands travel up my spine and rest on the nape of my neck. “Is this okay?” He asks just a few centimeters from my lips. “It’s perfect.” I lean down and our lips meet. It’s no surprise he tastes like chocolate ice cream.

But what does surprises me is how erotic the noises he’s making. I want to explore his body and make him whimper for me, maybe even beg.

God Ivy don’t be such a sadist.

I test the waters and slide my tongue in, he invites me in and I feel him suck. Which causes a moan leaving my lips as well. I feel a bulge bump between my legs and I adjust myself so I can feel it.

I slowly press and move against Steven and we both let out a moan when I hit the right spot. With one swift motion he lifts me up and pins my back down on the couch. His lips leave mine and I feel a bit dizzy from the lack of air.

“You’re stunning, Ivy. Absolutely stunning.” He whispers as he moves a strand of my hair out of my eyes. He then leans back down, kissing and sucking my bottom lip.

I want him to make more noises for me so I take my hand and find my way to his belt. The jingle of his belt was faint but the sound of the zipper could have awakened the dead.

I feel him stiffen on top of me but I take that chance and slide my hand into his pants. It’s warm and his skin feels hot. I find the head of his cock and it was sticky.

“Bloody fucking hell.” Steven hisses as I see his eyes roll back. I run my thumb over the head and he moans. He felt thick, at least in my hand he did.

I slowly stroke him and I watch his body obey my movements. His hips move a bit and I grip him slightly. A whine passes his lips as his hips start moving faster. I feel more of his sticky precum against the palm of my hand and I lick my lips. “Steven.” I whisper his name and he opens his eyes looking down at me.

I move my hand from his pants and I lick his precum off of my palm. He bites his bottom lip and I pull him down so he can taste himself on my tongue.

His knees somehow pins my legs apart and I’m trying to not squirm under him, but I need friction. “Can I taste you? Please can I taste you? I just know you taste like sweets.” He begs as he rubs his knee between my thighs.

I nod quickly and he fumbles trying to get into my pants. He then slides his two thick fingers into my panties. I grab his hand and guide him to slide them inside of me. “Oh my god.” He could fuck me with his fingers and I would be satiated. But I know I’ll want more once his digits are no longer touching my g-spot.

He curls his fingers in a come here motion and my body jerks abruptly. How does he know how to do that?

Steven isn’t some goofball…

He is but right now, he’s a man who can fulfill my greatest desires.

He takes his thumb and it rolls over my clit causing my walls to tighten around him. “Please.” I moan out to him. A dark shadow seems to pass over his eyes, but he blinks and it’s just Steven in a lust drunk state.

“Help me with these.” He says as he tugs at the waist band of my sweatpants. He removes his hand then and he sucks his middle and index finger. His eyes flutter close as he greedily suck his fingers clean. He sits up and I lift my ass so that I can rip off my sweats. He helps me and when he gets a hold of them they go flying across the room.

We both look when they land and I let out a giggle. He looks back at me chuckling but that stops when he sees I’m soaked between my legs. I watch him get on his knees and he then licks his lips. Steven looks up at me through his lashes as if to ask me permission. I slowly open my legs wider for him and I suck on my bottom lip as I spread the lips as well.

He looks like he’s in pain, almost as if he doesn’t get to taste me he’ll die. I feel his elbows dip down near my thighs and I feel his fingers curl inside of me once more. He leans down and he flattens his tongue against my cunt.

With his tongue he massages my lips and clit all at once which makes my toes curl and my fingers entwine in his messy hair. His stubble tickles my lower lips and I lean my head back feeling in bliss while he eats me out.

If this was his first time, he’s doing one hell of a great job. I look back down at him and he’s looking up at me. I let go of his hair and touch his face. “Steven, did I e…ever tell you, you have such pretty eyes. Oh yes. You have such pretty eyes, please don’t stop looking at me with those pretty ey-" He doesn’t break eye contact but he does twirl his tongue hum at the same time.

I spread my legs wider which makes him grip my right thigh for dear life. His grip is a bit painful but his mouth makes me ignore it. He pulls me closer to him as if I’m his final meal of the night and he wants to make sure he licks the plate clean.

I stutter out gibberish and rock my hips in motion to his rhythm. His fingers does quicker come here motions and I feel the sensation that I’ve been craving.

My breathing becomes quicker, as I watch his now free hand move in his pants. My eyes are hungry to continue to watch but my orgasm hits me hard as I stutter out that I’m going to cum.

He encourages me to do so but doesn’t slow down or get faster. His fingers spread my inner lips apart and as soon as his tongue slides inside of me my legs tense up and I pull his head deeper. He moans and slurps as I come on his tongue.

His glorious tongue.

I shake out one more orgasm and my swollen clit was extremely sensitive. But that doesn’t stop Steven. He gives it a few lazy licks and I try to close my legs. “S..ste…Steven. St..s..stop!” He moves away from me licking his lips and I see his chin was wet from my juices.

“Knew you tasted good.” He whispers as he looks back between my legs. I stop him before I’m at the mercy of his mouth again and ask.

“Do…do you have any condoms?” Steven looks past his shoulder and then back at me. “No, sorry I’m afraid I don’t have any.” I groan but sit up, moving my jelly like legs. I almost stumble but Steven nabs me before I could fall. When I look in his eyes I see panic.

“Where are you going? Was I that bad?” I then realized my mistake and mentally kick myself.

Don’t just leave you idiot, he might think he didn’t please you enough (which how could he not know how good of a job he did?) and it makes you look like you’re just using him.

I touch his cheek and the panic subsides. “I’m just running downstairs really quicks, I have condoms in my drawer. And you did an amazing…amazing job.” I say as I look at his still wet chin. I lean over and give him another kiss to reassure him. When I move back he looked happier than a fish in a new fishbowl.

“Right condoms. I should start carry those if we’re gonna do stuff like this again. If you want to do this again. I would like to do this aga-”

“I would like to do this again, and many more times. Now you have to let me go.” Only then he notices that he’s holding me tight. He loosens his grip and I take a step back from him.

I start looking for my sweatpants he had flung by his bed and see they were peeking out from the foot of it. When I go to grab them I notice a black rope. When I pick it up I see a restraint attached to it.

“That-” I hold a hand up cutting him off. “We’ll talk about this when I get back.” I shake my legs through the tangled fabric of my sweatpants and once they’re finally on I look back at him as I head to his door. “I’ll be back quickly. Okay.” I reassure him again. He nods and I hurry down the steps.

Hell I’m taking three at a time. I go to open the door but notice that I didn’t leave Aunt Milly’s door ajar.

“Aunt Milly?” I call out to her and I expect her to be laying on the couch. “Aunt Milly?” I call out once more. The room was silent except for a dripping noise. I follow it but get this chill on the back of my neck.

I don’t like this.

I think to myself as my foot steps begin to slow down.

“Aunt…” I don’t know why I didn’t notice, why I didn’t smell it. But I look down and see my once grey sneakers where now turning maroon.

Blood.

My heart began to slam against my chest as all my senses scream at me.

I should run, I should get the hell out of here and get help.

But my feet wouldn’t listen. I know the dripping is from her. My sweet Aunt Milly.

I hear something move behind me and the lights start to flicker which makes me flinch. I don’t want to turn around because-

I hear shallow breathing and my head turns to the dark corner of the apartment. Right there I see a creature that looked like an oversized dog.

Before I could scream it l lunged at me. Thankfully I was quick and I ducked down causing it to crash into the wall above me. I go to run but my right foot slips from under me.

I scramble as the creature snaps its killer jaws just inches from my leg. I take off and slam the door behind me.

I couldn’t push a scream out of my lungs, my body was in flight mode and I ran, hearing the door explode behind me. It was gaining on me as I ran my hardest up the stairs to Steven’s apartment.

I slam my body into his door and thankfully he didn’t lock it. I get inside and slam it locking the door quickly. Steven ran over to me but stops when he sees I’m covered in blood.

My voice finally emerges but it all sounds like another language. “Ivy, Ivy slow down. I can barely understand you. What happened?”

“She’s d..dead. It got her! I..it…ahhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh!”

It all happened in a blur. The police questioning me, over and over again. Steven telling them that I’m a mess and can’t answer.

“Sir I understand that she’s in shock, but we need to know what happened. That apartment is a crime scene and her alibi is the only thing keeping her from being the suspect….”

I watch the body bag that held my aunt and my breathe leaves my body. “She’s gone.” I whisper causing Steven to steer me away from the EMT’s.

As he rubs the small of my back I look up at him and the shock suddenly hits me causing my legs to give out from under me.

He catches me before I could fall, I stare at the ceiling for a moment and when I blink I see a beautiful woman with starry night skin. She smiled at me which caused her dark purple eyes to smile as well.

She leans in close to my face and I feel my eyes roll back until all I can see is darkness. But this darkness I didn’t fear, it was comforting to me.

Ivy…

Come find me.

The woman’s voice rings in my ears.

And before I knew it, I had passed out in Steven’s arms…

TO BE CONTINUED…

A/N

Before I continue this story was not only inspired by the amazing show moon knight but inspired by a fear I had as a child. Sometimes I find myself not too fond of the dark, and yet I embrace it from to time. Also this story will include some names of Egyptian gods and goddesses, they are in my interpretation. So I want to apologize in advance. If you wish to not read this story I understand.

If this do continue to read this story please don’t forget to like and share this with your friends. I’ll update again in two week. Or when my lazy ass doesn’t procrastinate. Laters Gators 🐊

#watsittoyah #marvel #oscar issac #oscar issac moonknight #moon knight #steven grant #marc spector #jake lockley #x black reader #moon knight smut #khonshu #stevengrantxblackreader #marc spector x black reader #oscar issac hernandez estrada

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daintyswandoll · 5 months

Text

Happy to have reached 97lbs bmi 15.9 considering my goal was to get from 106 to 98 by Christmas break. Had a metabolism day (1300-1400cal) day following a period of restricting 500-900 cals a day and the odd 20-48 hr fast.

My next step is to go for maintainence/slower weight loss until Christmas break bc if I’m too much smaller than I am now idk how my parents will react although I’d love to be at UGW asap and I totally would if nobody cared or I was scared of being forced into recovery.

My college is catered so I have to eat at the canteen so i don’t know 100 percent exact calories but I was able to lose weight relatively fast by monitoring my portions, fasts, eating less fatty/refined carb food (not cutting completely though unless it’s something that’s a lot of fat and carbs combined), one or two meals a day (OMAD was usually dinner and if I had two meals it could be any of breakfast and dinner, lunch and dinner or breakfast and lunch) and trying to get 10k steps in most days (approx 5 days a week).

I’m going to do a week of this kind of eating and see what effect it has. However I won’t do the fasts (apart from a short ish one on Fridays see why below) and will have 3 meals. But I’ll still get my steps and keep the meals light with no snacks. I’ll see if this results in maintenance or slow weight loss. If I’m doing 3 meals I’m going to try and have dairy even less often (use soy in my tea and coffee and avoid creamy salads however 1 small bowl of natural yoghurt allowed each day and veggie instead of vegan option for dinner if the vegan option looks too oily or carby)

Breakfast

(The serving bowls are so cute and tiny at uni so it helps with portion control. Most people have a couple of bowls of different things or go back for more). Nothing too heavy like bagels butter or avocado. No porridge/oatmeal because idk exactly how they prepare it I think it’s done fully with hot milk and no muesli.

- tea/coffee with soy x3 (no sugar just sweetener)

- 2 weetabix with soy OR

- cornflakes with soy OR

- bran flakes with soy OR

-rice krispies with soy

Lunch (no mains)

- small bowl of soup AND

- small bowl of natural yogurt (2 not 3 scoops) AND

-small plate with 1 scoop of healthy grains and 1 scoop salad greens/veggies

Dinner

- choose the healthiest looking main either vegan, vegetarian or fish

- only veggies and salad on the side no extra carbs like potatoes and rice

Fridays

On Friday the dinner options tend to be a bit more fatty than other days of the week, so safest bet is to OMAD on Friday. Options are usually pies battered fish and battered vegan sausage. Stick to veggies and salad on the side and fake eating a bagel or something heavier for breakfast so parents don’t suspect anything.

Weekends

Brunch

Eat brunch instead of breakfast. If you must eat breakfast stick to salad and yoghurt for lunch. Don’t eat the hash browns or toast stick to sources of protein. No bacon or meat sausages bc I’m pescatarian and they are super fatty I wouldn’t eat them even if I ate meat.

- tea or coffee with soy and sweetener x3

- 2 veggie sausages, scrambled eggs and 1 scoop of baked beans OR

-1 veggie patty, 1 veggie sausage, scrambled egg and 1 scoop of baked beans

-The baked beans can be swapped for a small serving of natural yogurt (in a separate bowl obviously) if that’s what I’m craving more

Beverages outside canteen

- Americano with splash of milk, cinnamon and sweetener at Starbucks (tall or grande)

- ask for skimmed/soy/almond milk in lattes and cappuccinos (choose smallest size)

- 0-10 calorie sodas

-No more than 100 liquid calories in a day (keep this number small as possible)

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thatbrightblueshine · 10 months

Text

okay so this came to my mind completely out of the blue whilst i ate my morning weetabix sitting on the kitchen counter (there's a stonesford pic on the fridge maybe that's the reason behind it all. cheers!)

so here's a little prompt, basically what if stones and pickford had both started their careers at everton together? so this is kind of an au if you will.

what if, maybe 5 to 6 years from now, both john and jordan have become legends in their clubs, john never leaving city and making history and jordan becoming the one player all the big clubs wanted but never got because he never left everton. but them nearing their mid 30s now, retirement is inevitable, especially with john's past injuries. but what if he doesn't want that yet? he loved the glory of man city, the trophies, the parties, the whole world considering him one of the best cbs of all time. but he's tired. he feels old, worn out. he sometimes yearns for the old days. the days before city, his days at everton. things weren't easier by any means, hard work, an uncertain future. but there had always been someone who always had his back - jordan pickford. so what if it's all just one call away? one call that could bring all the memories back, at least for his last year or 2 playing professional football? putting that dark blue shirt with the number 26 on one more time before he says goodbye?

when he left everton to reach for bigger things he always felt like he had left jordan behind, despite him always telling john how much he loved everton and his team, and that his goal was to stay despite having constant offers from the big 6. he loved the fighting, the battling, the eventual success by the end of each season, even if that meant just somehow not getting relegated once more. nowadays everton aren't much better off as they were many seasons now, recently finishing mid table had been their biggest achievement in years. but that never bothered jordan - he loved the challenge. john however had grown bored of city's success, as bitter as it may sound. when being confronted with potential retirement, something, that given his physical state and age was almost always on the table when giving press conferences, he always backed out. he didn't want to retire just yet, and there was a reason for that, too. one night many years ago jordan told john that he would wait on him here at everton, and that he wouldn't leave or retire unless john would return just one more time, just for a little while, then later on told him that he was just taking the piss and it was alcohol talking. what jordan however couldn't remember, or at least pretended he couldn't, was john's answer. his answer was yes, furthermore, he even promised he would return by the end of this career. one side of him felt like he had achieved it all, (and in a way he had), the other yearned. with every passing day, he thought about making that call. the one call that had been on his mind for what felt like an eternity now. but did he really want that? every time he was close to dialling the number, he shut his phone again, delaying it to yet another day.

it was sunday. john sat outside his terrace with his coffee reading through the news, but it was yet another of these days where the only thing on his mind was that bloody call. trying to avoid it, he locked his phone and put it aside, watching the sun rise up on the horizon. it was summer, all the players were vacationing with their families or partners and the younger ones were out getting pissed and just enjoying life partying, and then there was john - doing none of that. apart from feeling like he had gotten too old for his yearly ibiza visit, he also felt like the hookups and alcohol would no longer fill the void like it used to. he's alone now unless he's playing. most of the city players he had been close with have either retired or moved to clubs outside the prem. he was still in the national team, although nowadays rarely starting and barely knowing anyone in the team anymore, either. he didn't bother getting to know many of the newer faces anymore, mostly because he hated how starstruck they were whenever they got into the dressing room together. but he still knew that one person, perhaps his person - the man that was despite everyone's criticism still england's number 1. jordan pickford. when john wasn't starting for england, he'd watch jordan really closely from the bench - analysing his every move, and hell, even after all the years of either playing on his side or against him, john was still mesmerised by every save he did. they had a thing - everyone knew about it, no one spoke of it. there were many lovers scattered all over the clubs, no one made a fuss about it because it was the most normal thing, despite the fact that the media will never know about any of it. but stones and pickford was still talked about in the dressing rooms, as if they were not only legends by themselves and due to the things they had achieved, but because they were so secretive and nonchalant about it, not like some other players who'd fuck whatever teammate or rival was available at the moment. back in their everton days, which was logically where it had all begun, they would share their secret looks and shy smiles, but they were both too professional to ever admit it to a single soul, not even to the the teammates they had trusted the most. they felt like it was no one's business but their own.

but with john's departure from everton it all changed, they would barely see each other anymore and at some point enter serious relationships with their respective partners. jordan even got married - john never went there. he had loved the people he had been with, sure, but in the deepest of his heart there would always just be one name - jordan lee pickford. international duties were the only time they could play side by side now, not walking onto the pitch as rivals. there had been days when that was their thing - the rivalry turning them on, leaving the grounds together for a hotel to spend the night, then, as lovers, not as rivals. but it hasn't been like that for years now, and john began feeling like maybe jordan had finally moved on from the thing they used to have. they would never call it romance, they would never say those three big words to one another - too afraid it would ruin it all. it was just their thing - the thing they had ever since they were teenagers. they never knew what it was, or perhaps they did but neither of them could never own up to it. as the years had passed on and john got older, he spent a lot of time looking back at his life, his career, his achievements, and somehow there had always been jordan - sometimes as a friend, sometimes as more. but even when they had a fallout that would last for months at a time, the moment they saw each other again in person they realised how unimportant and stupid their argument was, and that they were best friends no matter what life would put them through.

that's why it was so hard for john to make that call. the last time he had seen jordan was at everton away, a game were jordan conceded a goal to him in the 87th minute, leading to everton losing 0-1 to city at full time. usually that's just what happens when you play on opponent teams - there will always been winners and losers, and they were mature enough to know it, it had happened many times before. but since it had been everton's last game of the season, with jordan's future at the club uncertain due to his age, he was devastated. john watched jordan give his post match interview that night, and he had never seen him this distressed. he had walked past john not even looking at him - all of the years of them always finding words for one another, this had been the first ever time jordan did that to him. it took john weeks to call him up, just as it took weeks for jordan to pick up the phone. eventually, they had a long conversation about it, sorting it out, having a laugh at the end.

but yet, it felt different. talking to jordan nowadays felt different as it did when they were young and stupid. maybe that was what maturing really was all about? john felt like the magic had faded more and more over the course of the past 2 years or so, whenever they would see each other now, the excitement, the sparks, they weren't really there anymore. sometimes john felt like they should just have said 'fuck it' when they were still together at everton, never parting ways and never ending up with other people since it never brought them true happiness anyway, that was for john at least. he felt stranded after his last long term relationship ended, making him wonder if it had perhaps all been different if he had ever owned up to his feelings for jordan, as immature and rough as they were when they first met.

he thought about it all so much that his head started spinning, he knew that for the sake of his own sanity he'd have to make that call one way or another, he promised it, so maybe today, on this warm and sunny sunday morning, should be the day. today he would make that call.

#john stones #jordan pickford #stonesford #my fic #yeah i'm insane i'm so sorry x

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suekreandtheidiots · 20 days

Text

The Joy of Parenting

Location // Characters: Aberdeen // Sofia and Craig

October 2004 - Sofia and Craig talk about their oldest son.

Status/Notes: finished / I love writing these two, and I love parent couples who are still very much in love with each other after years of being together!

___

October 2004

Strong but gentle arms wrapped around her body from behind, and Sofia closed her eyes, leaning into the very familiar touch with a content smile and breathing in her husband's scent. Sun and salt water in his long hair, his favourite cologne as well as a hint of fresh wood - it was an illustrious scent she could never get enough of, even after twenty years.

"Let's go and eat out tonight, Sof, hm?" Craig murmured into her ear. Sofia could practically see his wide smile, without turning around, right in front of her inner eye.

"What?" she laughed.

"I want to take you out to dinner, dear and hard-working wife of mine."

"Where does that come from now?"

"Well, I feel much better than I did last week, I made a secret wish on my birthday… that is now not so secret anymore, mind you, and it's been ages since the last time we went out. You're always so busy saving animals-"

"He says like it's a bad thing-"

"-and I miss going out with you!"

"Well, our budget's been a bit tight after all, with all the repair work in our bathrooms, Ali's new sets of sports gear and Lance's latest school trips? Besides, we are also still saving up to support him through university." Sofia said, snuggling a little deeper into Craig's embrace, savouring the moment.

"And we always managed to put food on the table, too." Craig said. "We've always been doing just fine, Sof. I have an eye on our finances, too. You just worry too much."

"Nooo, I just prefer to keep my head out of the clouds, unlike a certain gentleman whom I happen to be very much into… despite his tendency to gloss over certain situations." she mocked, knowing that Craig would not take it personally. He never did.

"Have I ever met that bloke? Sounds like an idiot."

There we go.

"Briefly, I think. He's quite adorable, actually." Sofia giggled and lightly patted Craig's arms.

The gentle pats were their own little signal to let go of each other, any time they didn't exactly want to part but had to, and Sofia sure would have loved to lean into her husband for a little while longer, but the ice cream that was sitting at the bottom of one of the grocery bags on the counter was probably about to melt right in front of her eyes within the next few minutes and that was not at all why she had bought it.

Once Craig let go of her, she started unpacking the bags, handing him some of the items so he could store them away.

"Nah, seriously, Sof… what do you say?" Craig tried again, putting a package of spaghetti into the cupboard above him. "Hm? Just us tonight. We can drop Ali off at Finn's and, as far as I know, Lancie has plans, too."

"He does?"

"Heard him say somethin' earlier and from what I understood, he won't be home before ten or so."

"I love how he's only sixteen and just assumes that curfews are no longer a thing for him."

"He's a good kid, Sof."

"I know, I know."

Craig put away the two new boxes of Weetabix and leaned against the counter. A wide smile spread across his face. "So, what do you say? I could get a table at Humphrey's at six o'clock?"

"Hm, go on?"

"Then we should be done with dinner around eight, at the latest, and that still leaves enough time for me to get you home real quick and show you some of my finest woodwork, if you catch my drift."

Sofia groaned. "Dear god, Abbott, that's it, I'm going to hide that book about puns."

"So that's a no to my well-crafted plans?"

Sofia pursed her lips and thought about Craig's idea.

She actually had made plans to declutter her office tonight, to go through all the documents she had not had enough time to sort into their appropriate folders in the past few weeks, and after that she had looked forward to wind down in front of the TV with one of her favourite movies, "Gone With The Wind" (hence the ice cream), and go to bed early, to enjoy a night of peaceful sleep.

A date with her husband, however, with the outlook of some… woodwork, as he apparently liked to put it now, was all too tempting.

Between them both working full time and managing everyday life with two very lively sons, making room for some actual romance could be a challenge, and it really had been a while at this point. Neither Sofia nor Craig had liked that a whole lot.

Sofia decided that her office could probably wait another day or two.

"It's a yes." she smiled. "Stop referring to sex as woodwork, though, and you will get lucky tonight."

"It's a charming code word, though?" Craig hopped on the counter and made himself comfortable, snatching one of the shiny bags next to him, opening it and devouring a handful of crisps within seconds. "Any time the boysh are around and we talk about woodwork, they'd remain entirely cluelesh."

"Really?" Sofia raised an eyebrow. "Have you met your own sons?!"

"Well… at least Ali would be clueless, and he might remain so for a long time, now that his cute little mind revolves all around football."

"Let's just hope so."

Sofia sighed at the very unsettling thought of her youngest eventually growing up, too, and she had just put away a can of baked beans when another thought crossed her mind. She turned to her husband.

"So what is Lancie up to later?" she asked. "I haven't seen him all day, and, well… he never really talks to me anyway."

She did her best to make the last part sound like a casual statement, and she knew that it had never been personal either, but the way Lance felt mostly drawn to Craig still had potential to nag at her sometimes.

"I don't know, really. Think I heard him mention 'Diana', though."

"Dear god, no." Sofia let out another groan, losing composure for a second, despite trying not to, and leaning on the counter in frustration.

Next to her, her husband chuckled and helped himself to another handful of crisps. "You really don't like the little lass, eh?"

"I want to, Pooky, I really do. It's more that... I don't know, I just don't like the way she makes Lancie run after her. That's just not like him at all."

"Sof, he's sixteen. A damn teenager."

"So? Doesn't mean he can't have any standards?"

"You're cute. Do you really need me to spell out for you what he's after?"

"Craig!" Sofia moaned. "You're not helping."

"What? Most of us go through that awful phase, and trust me, it pains us more than it does you."

"And how would you know that?"

"Because you lassies know you're sweet and gorgeous, and intriguing, and that we're all into you no matter what, and you know we know it, and you can do whatever you want with that. Don't tell me you weren't a scheming little goddess at sixteen."

"I wasn't?!"

"I don't believe you at all." Craig laughed. "What I wanted to say, though... we usually come out of that phase as better, wiser people."

Sofia glanced to the side to where Craig was still sitting happily on the counter, his long legs dangling and his blue eyes sparkling with excitement as he was looking at his bag of crisps like it was his own, personal revelation. He, too, resembled a damn teenager in this very moment and it was one of the things she had always loved about her husband - life, no matter the circumstances, had never hardened him and she hoped it never would.

Her lips curled up into a smile. "Better, sure. Wiser however-"

"Hey, I managed to woo you!"

"I was young and very easy to impress." Sofia laughed.

"You were never easy to impress, Miss Thomson, I am really just that great." Craig pointed at himself with two thumbs, grinning like the gorgeous, confident fool he was, before he joined in laughing.

A few moments later, he shrugged and added: "Honestly, Sof, don't even worry. Besides, it's not like there's a whole lot that Lancie could do wrong, so let him do his thing, he'll be fine."

Sofia cocked her head.

It's not like there's a whole lot that Lancie could do wrong.

What a strange and out-of-the-blue statement that was. It sure sparked her curiosity, so she decided to address it.

"What do you mean, he can't do wrong?"

"You know what I mean. Our oldest isn't exactly set up for failure, right?"

"I don't even know how to answer that."

"Just think about it - has Lance ever done anything truly stupid? Name one thing!" Craig dared her, putting his bag of crisps away, before he jumped off the counter, proceeding to put the last few groceries to their designated places.

Sofia smirked and raised an eyebrow. "So you're tryin' to tell me that you already conveniently forgot how he snuck out to a party he wasn't allowed to go to last year?"

Her husband turned around, making a face. "Oh, that-"

"And didn't even manage to sneak back in, like he had planned? Instead he passed out drunk at some stranger's house and we called him about three hundred times, worried sick, before he gave a sign of life - the next afternoon."

Craig pressed his lips into a thin line, and he blinked. "Just, uh… name one other thing he fucked up."

Sofia laughed and gently tugged at the hem of her husband's sweater jacket. "Pooky, what are you even on about?"

"That party incident was merely a glitch, don't you think? What I'm saying is that our son is a force of nature. I'm so proud of him. I mean, he's good at everything he tries, it almost scares me."

Ah. The age old tale of the Golden Boy. Sofia looked down and bit her lip.

She had always loved how Craig had proved to be a devoted father. In spite of what everyone else had to say about their young relationship back in the days, he had done simply amazing right from the start and while there had been many voices trying to talk her out of 'settling for that silly lad', Sofia had always… known. Sure, Craig had been young, but even back then, in his very early twenties, she had sensed that hint of security about him. It was never about money, status and possessions, she could've had that plenty of times. Craig Abbott had the heart and soul that she had always looked for, to even think about starting a family. Craig had always seen her for her, and he wholeheartedly believed in the people he loved.

Sofia had always known that and not much had changed about it, but the past was the past and the present was right here, always waiting to be faced in whatever way necessary. And believing in loved ones was one thing. Putting them on a pedestal, however, was another.

"Lance is good at everything he does, that's true." Sofia nodded reluctantly and she let a few more moments pass before she went on. "And I'm beginning to wonder whether that's actually a good thing."

Craig put his hands on each side of her neck and gently caressed it with his thumbs. "That doesn't make any sense, love. How can that not be a good thing?"

"Because I'm not sure if I like the person he's becoming... because of that."

"Come on, Sof. What is that even supposed to mean?"

"Haven't you noticed how... reckless he has become? Inconsiderate? I mean... sometimes?"

"He's neither reckless nor inconsiderate, he's confident."

"Confidence is a good thing, I'd never complain about that. I don't know, Craig, it's the way he talks to his friends sometimes. His tone, his manners. Happens with Cal, mostly. You might want to listen a little closer the next time the two are talking."

Craig sighed. "I don't know... aren't you reading a bit too much into all of this?"

Sofia knew that her husband was not exactly trying to brush off her concerns or to invalidate her perception on purpose but it still angered her a little that he did not even try to think about it for a while longer, pretty much proving her point right on the spot.

"Perhaps I am." she shrugged. "I can't help but notice a little change, though. You keep encouraging him in a way that... I don't know." She sighed. "I don't know, Craig. There's just something I don't quite like about this."

"So what? Lance has figured some things out sooner than others, what's the big deal? Makes things easier for us! It's what I'm talking about after all, he's a bright one, and I still don't know how that's a bad thing."

"Because teenage years are exactly the time to fuck up. It's how we truly learn and grow. We make mistakes. We learn. We grow. All the time, on repeat. We need to experience those mistakes, to really feel the weight of them. That way, we learn how to reflect ourselves. How is Lance supposed to do that if no one is around to humble him every once in a while?"

"You want us to wear our own kid down?!"

"God, Craig, no!" Sofia groaned. "Of course not. All I want to say is… you might want to grant him a little more room to make mistakes. Because he will. He already has. Question the things he says. Look a little closer, just every once in a while."

"Who says I'm not doing that?"

"I'm not saying that it happens on purpose, but you aren't exactly- I mean, sometimes-" Sofia struggled to find the right words. "The way you talk about him sometimes, like he's already a fully fledged grown up friend of yours… it concerns me."

Craig pulled his eyebrows together and made a tiny step back. "But… why? I love him and I admire him. Why can't my son be my friend, too? How is my support wrong all of a sudden?"

"It's not wrong but… I don't know, Craig. And you know what, sometimes I can't help but ask myself whether you remember that we have another son."

"Hey, no. Just no! That's not fair, Sof." Her husband now let go of her entirely. He took another step back, crossing his arms in obvious defense, and shooting her a glance of disapproval. "You know I love Ali just as much!"

"Well, I can sure assume that, but does Ali know?"

"Sofia, what the fuck is this about? How did we go from dinner plans to me being on family trial, what did I even do?"

Sofia looked down and shook her head. Damn. That was not at all how she had meant for her concerns to come out. She made a step forward and gently squeezed her husband's upper arms and she knew she was not exactly acting reasonable right now, but acting reasonable could be so hard when the subject of debate was her children. Her still-so-very-young sons.

She had to let Craig know that this was still an eye-to-eye discussion.

"Look, I'm sorry, Pooky." she said, stroking his arms. "You are definitely not on trial, and I am not trying to hurt you here, but… sometimes I can't shake off the feeling that you're..."

Doing more harm than good. No, way too harsh. And not quite true either. Sofia pondered her choice of words carefully.

"... that you're putting Lancie in a position he is not at all ready to be in. You may see a force of nature but he is still a boy, Craig."

"Are you… are you tryin' to tell me that I love my son too much?"

"No. No, Craig, that is absolutely not what I'm trying to tell you." Sofia shook her head. "I love the way you love him, alright? I'm just a wee bit worried you might be putting more pressure on him sometimes than what is good for him, without you even realising. You know how you get carried away at times-"

"I'm not putting any pressure on him!"

"Craig-"

"It's not like I expect him to do any of the things he does? I never expected him to master "Painkiller" on the drums at only fourteen, I never expected him to do that well in school and I sure don't expect him to go to med school. It is what he wants, Sof, it's all him! He is the driving force in his own life, he has always been."

"I know that!"

"So what are we even arguing about?!"

"We're not arguing!"

"No? Because it feels like that to me!"

"We're not! I just happen to know that Lance looks up to you. He looks up to you so much, and it might not appear like that to you but he wants your approval. He wants you to think high of him. I know my son, too. He might favour you and he might not even be aware of all the things I just said, but I can see it."

"If it was me he looks up to, he would strive to become a rockstar and hedonist."

"Craig." Sofia breathed out in mild exhaustion and she rested her forehead against her husband's chest.

"The doctor thing is cool, too, though." Craig said after a few moments, offering a tone so soft now that Sofia instantly knew that she had him back on her side, right where he belonged. Craig put his arms around her once more and gently rested his head on hers. This felt good. They stood like that for a while until Sofia felt ready to speak again.

"All I want to say is… try and look behind the facade at times. Be gentle with him." she murmured. "After all, this world won't always be. He might be more fragile than both of you think."

"I am gentle with him. He doesn't care for it all that much."

"I'm not telling you to coddle him. I just- I need to be sure you have his back, even when he messes up."

"Why would you even question that?" Craig asked, unusually timid, stroking her hair while he was still gently rocking her in his arms.

"I know you think he can't do anything wrong but... just play pretend for a moment." Sofia pulled out of his embrace, not much, but just far enough so she could look up into his face. "Assume that Lance does something really stupid... will you be there for him? Will he have your unconditional love and support, even when he's not the amazing self you admire so much? Even when he makes loving him very hard?"

"Sofia-"

"I just need to know, Craig. Please."

Her husband took a deep breath, and he also took his time before he answered.

"Sofia, I will always love him, no matter what he does. And I will always be there for him, too. Even when he messes up. Even when he messes up bad. It... it hurts that I have to spell it out like that."

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm having a moment. It's been quite a week, I'm letting it all out on you and I'm so sorry."

"It's all good, love, but you need to tell me what this is really about."

Sofia pondered the question. "I don't know. Sometimes I hate seeing him grow up so fast. Love it, too. But mostly hate it these days. The world is scary, and I keep wondering whether we're giving our sons enough-"

"Shhh. Hey. Our sons have great parents, trust me. They will be fine."

"Why can't I be the funny and gorgeous, happy-go-lucky half of this relationship at times?"

"Because you're perfect the way you are, and no one wants you any other way. And I get that you're thinking about these things, Sof, I really do. I think about it, too. But our sons growing up is the way things are supposed to be, and we may not always like it but neither you nor I can change it. All we can do is watch them live in the moment."

"I know." Sofia sighed. "Wow, that was one hell of a speech, I just remembered again why I love you."

"I told you I'm just that great!" Craig smirked down at her, earning himself a light punch to his upper arm but it only made him laugh and pull her a little closer again. "It'll be alright, love, Lancie still has us. And just to assure you once more - I'll be around to catch him the second he falls. I promise."

Sofia nodded. "Alright, good. I'm sorry, Pooky... can't promise it won't happen again but I'm done being a crazy mother hen for now."

"As long as you always end up telling me what's on your mind, I'm fine with you acting a little crazy at times."

Sofia let out a little laugh and gave her husband another little squeeze.

"Are we good?" Craig asked, kissing the top of her head.

"We're always good." she assured him and stood up on her toes to kiss him. "I meant what I said earlier, though."

"Hm?"

"I know you love him. Of course you do, but please make some room for Ali, too. It won't hurt. He needs his father just as much, if not more. I mean, you have already established that Lance is a force of nature so I think you can let him run free sometimes."

"That coming from you, right after your crazy mother hen meltdown?"

"Arsehole."

Craig let out a hearty laugh. "I promise I'll make room for my little Ali. Of course I will. He'll be fed up with me soon enough."

"You don't need to suffocate him?!" Sofia scoffed. "Just... pay a little attention to him, he's really sweet and entertaining, actually."

"I know he is, and now that I think of it... the prospect of having an entire lifetime of pestering both my sons to pure and utter exhaustion ahead of me... it's pretty great!"

"Oh god." Sofia groaned and rolled her eyes, but she did it with an honest smile. It felt so good to let it all out every once in a while, and another thing she loved about her husband was that he always had a way of making her feel better.

"Honestly, I live for that!" Craig added, a mischievous little spark in his eyes. "For now, though... how about we both finally enjoy the prospect of going out to dinner later?"

"Sounds great to me!"

***

#idiot writing #craig abbott #sofia abbott #sofia x craig

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