#I'd love to say I'm excited but my birthday falls between all this and the thought itself fills me with neverending exhaustion.

[sergeantnarwhalwrites]

One final, my thesis defense, and capstone left.

#I'd love to say I'm excited but my birthday falls between all this and the thought itself fills me with neverending exhaustion. #personal #soon I'll be free #one fucking day

[0oolookitsme]

More Than One

Type- One-Shoty Blurb!

Verse- Singer!Harry x Ceo!Y/n

Word Count- 1.2k

Warnings- Sweet, sweet fluff, some pain, and a few curse words

A/N- Thank you for being patient with me the whole of January, lovelies. Here's the first fic of 2023, hope you enjoy it! <333

Y/n lets her head fall onto Harry's chest, eyes shutting down as he lightly massages her belly. She jerks her head up when she hears him hiss, realizing that her bun had been too tight to not poke his chest.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled sheepishly before using his elbow to push down her bun a bit, loosening it up in the process. Breathing slowly and deeply to rock her soothingly as she's practically laying on his chest, his mind drifts off to what's inside her belly- eyes fixated on the white bubbles that cover their bodies from his wandering eyes.

She's humming a tune he is familiar with, but never remembers the name of- and suddenly, he isn't sure if he should interrupt her with his weird question. "Is carrying a baby even slightly fun?" He babbles out, his hands still massaging her colossal bump.

"Sure, carrying babies is fun. Why don't you try it?" She looks at him with a pointed look but a smirk on her lips.

For once, he had forgotten how much sarcastic she had grown over the last seven months. Although, his train of next words is soon interrupted and his jaw falls to an abrupt fall. "... Wait- did u just say, babies? Plural??"

His back no longer rests on the cold bathtub. Hands seeing to have come to a halt, he looks at her with a deep frown between his brows and a mouth open too wide. "Answer me!" He shrieks when he catches a sight of her lips curving up after being still for too long.

Her expressions were as if she hadn't planned on telling him this, at least not right now. "Y/n... are you sure you're not fucking with me?" He questions, remembering all the times she has pranked him since the test showed up positive.

"...I-I'm not," she breaks eye contact as a smile stretches out on her lips. Her teeth come out to bite on her slightly chapped lips before she twists a little so she's properly facing him. But, suddenly too cold, she brings his arms up with rest on her shoulders. "We're having twins," she grins, looking at him with wide-excited eyes.

Gasping, his jaw stretches out even more- to the point that it's now starting to hurt. "Are you kidding me?! Oh my god- oh my dear god!" He finally breaks out a huge open-mouthed grin, face leaking with shock and excitement, and eyes starting to glisten a little.

"There are two in there?!" He questions again, pointing at her belly with his eyes shifting their gaze between y/n's face and the huge belly. "When did you get to know this? Why didn't you tell me?!"

"I just found out yesterday, after the cityscan! I was planning on telling you in the studio but there we got engaged in some other conversation and I never found the right moment to tell you. Then I planned on telling you this on your birthday," she sighed, looking down at the water and realizing that it wasn't so hot anymore.

Eyes softening at the corners, he raised her chin up so that she'll look at him. "You don't need to be such a perfectionist for these things too baby. You could tell me this while shitting and I'd still cry and remember that time and day forever." He chuckled, pecking her lips when her mouth also pulls up in a grin.

"God, I can't believe there's more than one. Two?! We're literally having twins! Could you believe it when she told it to you?" He asked eagerly, laughing when she says that she straight up denied pushing two babies out of her vagina consecutively.

"As much as I want this moment to go on forever, I think we really need to get out of the bath now. Or else you're gonna catch a cold no doubt." Harry grunts, getting up before helping y/n up.

Washing away the bubbles and slipperiness of the soap from both of their bodies, he continued smiling and talking about his shock at the fact that they were going to have twins running around in the house. Also feeling the gushiness inside of her, she couldn't help but moan when the contractions hit again while she was stepping out of the bathtub.

"Oh- oh fuckin' shit," she gritted out when they grew more intense while she tried to ignore them and continue her movement.

A little alarmed, Harry soon realized that the contractions were back again. Without much panic, he sat her down in his lap which was now wrapped in a pink towel, and supported himself by leaning on the bathroom door.

Patiently, he massaged her bump in a different manner this time- all while reminding her that she knows how to deal with contractions now. He encouraged her as she tilted her body to her left, moving his hands from her back to her shoulder before wiping the newly formed sweat off her face. "Just a few weeks, my love, my super-woman," he said, cleaning his voice just when he heard his gruff voice.

He knew she was starting to ease when he noticed her hand falling on their sides from where she was trying to calm the baby down. "Oh god," she breathed out at last, getting herself up before waiting for Harry to help her the rest of the way.

After providing her with water and making sure she was fine, he rubbed his towel against his hair while she brushed her teeth as fast as she could- eager to get in bed.

"Slow down there, love. You're gonna hurt yourself if you keep going that fast," he cautioned her, looking at her sideways while the blow-dryer pushed his hair in his face. The warmth of it felt nice on his face and neck and shoulder.

"I'm done, H. Hurry up," she announced before walking out of the bathroom obviously to steal one of his shirts again.

Once in bed, she breathed in and out slowly and deeply as Harry brushed his hands through her hair, a book about pregnancy in his hands. When she started pushing her face further into his side, he took off his reading glasses, put the book on the table beside his side of the bed, and switched off the lamp, slipping down into the warmth she was radiating.

His hands found their way back to her bump, now with the realization that there were not one but two babies in there. Pressing a kiss on her hairline, then forehead, then cheekbones, cheeks, jawline, and finally, chin, he snuck his head inside the blanket to press four kisses onto the thin skin of her bump- two for each.

Once he had plopped his head on his pillow again, she pressed a deep kiss on his lips. "I love you and appreciate you very much, Harry. And, I'm pretty sure they do too," she mumbled softly, pulling at his hands.

"See?" She said in a questioning tone but took his hands and slid them down her belly till he felt something tight. "That--" she weighs on his palms, "-is baby A. And," she dragged his other palm up, to a feisty little one, "this is baby B." She smiled widely and even in the darkness, she could see his grin and tell it was a bright one.

#harry styles #harry styles fluff #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #ceo!y/n #ceo!reader #harry styles x ceo!y/n #ceo au #harry styles angst #harry styles smut #dad!harry #soon to be dad!harry #daddy!harry #dom!harry #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine

[starsopinions]

The Golden Globes...

It has been the hot topic the last few days: The Golden Globes. And because there aren't enough opinions out there already, this is mine. Here is my opinion on all of this from the point of view of a teenage girl who would one day like to work in the film industry.

We as a society have had a history with sexism but I'd like to think that in the twenty-first century, we are all equal. Unfortunately, I am proven wrong time and time again.

I was very excited to watch the Golden Globes, as a film fanatic I was very interested in who would win. Being a Swiftie, I was hoping for a win for Taylor and as a huge Greta Gerwig fan I was rooting for at least a few wins for Barbie. I didn't get either but we did get something far worse. yay!!

I'm sure you've seen the 'jokes' that were made but let me recap:

"Oppenheimer is based on a 721-page Pulitzer Prize-winning book about the Manhattan Project, and Barbie is on a plastic doll with big boobies."

"The key moment in Barbie is when she goes from perfect beauty to bad breath, cellulite, and flat feet. Or what casting directors call character actor!"

"Yo, I got the gig 10 days ago, you want a perfect monologue? Yo, shut up. You’re kidding me, right? Slow down. I wrote some of these, and they’re the ones you’re laughing at.”

“The big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL — on the Golden Globes, we have fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift."

To make matters worse, he added this in an interview with Variety the morning after The Golden Globes:

"Yes, I’m a stand-up comic but that hosting position it’s a different style. I kind of went in and did the writer’s thing. We had 10 days to write this monologue. It was a crash course. I feel bad, but I got to still say I loved what I did.”

I think that it is disrespectful and the fact that they didn't even think about if it would fall flat or not is horrible. The comments were written by multiple people, so multiple people read them (all men, no doubt) and not a single one thought that it might not go well?? I am baffled. This is not some cheap festival we are talking about these are the Golden Globes! How can something like this go wrong so badly??

I am personally so disappointed about it because 2023 was such a good year for women. The Eras Tour, The Renaissance Tour, Barbie, I can go on.

These aren't just projects featuring women, we all made friendship bracelets for The Eras Tour. We all wore pink to the movie theatre for Barbie and then we all cried for 'What Was I Made For?'. Those are experiences, that is womanhood! and I had so much fun!! I was at the movie theatre and there was this lady and she must have been well in her 70s and she was wearing this beautiful, hot pink (!), prom-style dress and she came up to me and she told me how it was her birthday and she was taking her grandchildren to see Barbie. And if that isn't the best thing you have ever heard then I don't know what to tell you! And that is just one example of how beautiful womanhood is. I am telling you this to showcase that no, Barbie is not just a plastic doll with big boobies. I feel like you would know that if you actually watched the movie and respected the people who worked so hard to create it. It breaks my heart to see people make fun of it like that.

It is so sad for me to see because these are the people I admire. They put their hearts and souls into this and they make these beautiful things. Greta Gerwig and Taylor Swift have worked so hard to get there and they still aren't respected like their male counterparts are. Did you hear a single joke about a man? Me neither because there weren't any.

It is so sad to see because it shows how it doesn't matter what we do, how hard we try or how successful we are. We will never be treated fairly.

It is so sad to see because these are the most successful women in the industry, if they aren't respected, I will never be either.

Loads of people think that these are "just jokes" but I disagree. These kinds of "jokes" reveal how men treat women in society. It might sound dramatic but it is true. It is all good when women make them money and fix the economy, but giving them basic respect is too hard to ask. It makes me angry that a comedian that no one has ever even heard of is allowed to make these kinds of comments about some of the successful women in the world. In the future, they should hire people who are actually funny and not disrespectful (and maybe even a woman? Shocking, I know).

Thanks for reading

- star ☆

#barbie #taylor swift #golden globes #feminism #equal rights #men are the worst #opinion #the eras tour #women empowerment #womanhood

[gracexthoughts]

of violent delights chap 7

happy birthday, mia

30 January 1996

Euphemia's POV

The Christmas break seemed to float by. Harry and I stayed at Hogwarts as always, the Weasleys and Hermione staying as well. My first two years at Hogwarts, I went back to the Dursleys' for Christmas, just to see Harry and make sure he was okay. Since Harry started though, we've had no reason to go back. Christmas with each other and our friends has always been far preferable. I'll never forget how excited Harry got his first Christmas morning at Hogwarts. 

I love the castle during the holidays. It's decorated to the nines and is quiet and serene for two weeks. I spend most of my time running around the empty halls with the twins, a snowball fight with the Twins and I on one team and Harry, Ron and Hermione on another, and two weeks of no prefect rounds. 

Since that night in the broom closet, Mattheo and I haven't spoken of what happened. I've never seen him be so gentle, especially not to me. The way he helped calm me down from panicking, and the way our hostile banter turned playful in the time we spent locked in the closet has plagued my mind in the two months since. I fully expected to arrive in class the next morning with the whole school knowing Euphemia Potter had a panic attack from being stuck in a broom closet with Mattheo Riddle (most girls' dream situation) but no one knew unless I told them. Mattheo hadn't told anyone what happened, or if he did he swore them to secrecy. I tried to thank him for it but I only received a grunt in return, reverting back to the same cold, angry and insufferably superior jerk I've always known him to be. Even so, I can't help but wonder what he was doing over break, why he was so nice to me that night, and why he hasn't tried to use my weakness against me. 

Harry has been despondent since Christmas when his new Firebolt was confiscated to be checked for tampering. I hadn't even woken up yet when Harry had come rushing in, yelling thank you over and over again. He'd thought I had bought him the new broom but I hadn't. Well, I'd been planning on it but my plan was to let Harry pick out the broom he wanted rather than choose it myself. But some mystery benefactor had beaten me to it and McGonagall promptly confiscated it, worried about it being cursed or hexed and Hermione has taken the brunt of Harry's anger. Secretly, I'm grateful someone else thought it was strange besides me but i’m sorry Hermione is being shut out for it.

Since term has resumed, and prefect rounds and Quidditch practices along with it, Harry and I have been adding weekly anti- dementor lessons to our schedules. Four lessons in and Harry and I can both produce the shield version of the Patronus Charm. The corporeal form, however, has been a bigger challenge. 

"Happy Birthday, Mia!" The door to my dorm is flung open as the Weasley Twins, Angelina, Alicia, Lee, and Harry all flood into my room. The best benefit of being a prefect? I have my own dorm room. Although, my friends have started to use it as their own personal common room so it's ultimately not that private anymore. I sit up, making a noise somewhere between a groan and a laugh as my friends and brother surround my bed. I squint at the clock on my nightstand and balk. 

"I love you all so much but it's literally 8AM, I don't get to sleep in on my birthday? It's a Sunday!" I pretend to whine, falling back on my pillows. With Quidditch practice Mondays-Thursdays 4:30-6:30PM, prefect rounds Tuesdays and Thursdays 9-11PM, and extra lessons with Lupin on Wednesdays at 8PM I have barely any time to do my schoolwork, let alone anything else. 

"No, because it's not fair for you to shorten the time we get to celebrate you by sleeping," Angelina says, crossing her arms and sitting on the bed next to me. 

"You can't sing at breakfast," I say, sitting up with my eyes wide and looking at the Twins. Fred and George love parties, celebrations and taking the mickey out of people they love. When they found out I'd never celebrated a birthday before coming to Hogwarts, they made it their personal mission to make every birthday since absolutely insane. 

"We won't," Fred says, a mischievous gleam in his eyes behind his smile.  

"I couldn't believe you less," I laugh. 

"Oh we're singing! No opting out, Potter!" Lee says, wiggling his eyebrows like a madman. 

"C'mon, Mia don't be a spoil sport!" George says, leaning against one of the posts of my bed frame. 

"Oi! I am many things but a party pooper is not one," I laugh, "I need you all the leave if you expect me to get dressed though." 

"Boo," Fred laughs, heading towards the door with George and Lee. Harry holds back for a moment and leans over the edge of my bed to give me a hug. 

"Happy birthday, Mia," he says with a small smile. 

"Thanks, Haz," I return his smile, reaching up to ruffle his already unruly hair. He chuckles and shoves my hand away and turns to leave with the rest of the boys, leaving me with Angelina and Alicia. 

"Sooo, what do you think Freddie got you for your birthday?" Angelina asks, lay back on my bed. 

"The twins better not have gotten me anything. I don't want any presents," I say, pushing off the blankets and tossing them over Angie. 

"Not the twins! Fred," Alicia says, sitting on the back of the love seat in front of the fireplace. I furrow my eyebrows as I cross the room to my dresser and begin pulling clothes out for the day. 

"Why just Fred?" 

"C'mon, Mia. You are not dense," Angie says, rolling onto her stomach and propping herself up on her elbows. 

"About what, Ang?" I turn, raising my eyebrows, playing dumb because I know exactly where they are going with this. 

"Freddie liiiikes you!" She responds in a sing-song voice, causing me to roll my eyes and throw a sweatshirt at her from across the room. 

"Please!" I groan. 

"Why are you upset? Fred's cute," Alicia says. Angelina and I raise our eyebrows at our friend, who is very openly lesbian. "That's not a personal opinion! It's just a fact. Fred and George could have any girl in this school they wanted and yet, dear Freddie has been single for more than a year. He likes you, Mia. It's plain as day." 

"I look like I could be his sister. Remember first year when half the school thought we were triplets?" I say, pulling a sweater over my head. The Weasley family all have bright and fiery red hair while my hair is a darker red, a weird mix of the dark brown of my father's hair and the bright red my mother had. Never stopped people from asking if we were related though. "I don't like Fred like that." 

"You're dumb for that, Phe. Sorry," Angie laughs. 

"You date him then if you think he's so great!" I laugh. 

"No thanks. I've got dibs on George though," she responds, winking at me. Alicia and I exchange a shocked look before we burst out into laughter. 

"You know, Ang, I think that will work out very well for you," I tease. Angelina bolts up to her knees, still on my bed. 

"What do you know?" 

"A secret!" I wink and duck as Ang throws a pillow at me.

"The three of you and your secrets, I swear!" 

"Okay so who do you like? There's gotta be somebody," Alicia pries, and I sigh. 

"There's no one. When would I find the time?" 

Angelina gasps, jumping up from the bed and rushing over to me, grabbing me by the shoulder. "Don't tell me it's Riddle!" 

"ANG!" I groan, pulling out of her grip, moving into the ensuite bathroom but leaving the door open. 

"Oh my god, imagine?" Alicia starts cackling on the couch, falling off the back and landing on the cushions on the other side, her feet dangling over the back of the love seat.

"It's like Romeo and Juliette! By that muggle writer you like so much!" 

"Romeo and Juliet both die in the end," I call from the bathroom. "I don't really think they are meant to role models." 

"Still, he's so hot. And experienced. From what I hear he's amazing in be-" 

"Ah! No! Please stop, it's already hard enough to do rounds with him without thinking about his bedroom habits!" I interrupt Angelina, waving my hands begging her to stop. "Let's go get breakfast and you can continue your tirade of embarrassment once I have coffee in my system, deal?" 

My day is spent being dragged around by my friends. They take me to Hogsmeade, singing happy birthday again when Rosemerta brings me a cupcake with a small candle stuck in the top and telling every shopkeeper it's my birthday. I think I spend most of the day blushing and trying to hide.  When we finally make it back to the castle, I head into my room to put away some stuff I bought in Hogsmeade. 

Just as I'm about to leave to rejoin my friends, something catches my eye on my mantle. It's a yellowing piece of parchment paper folded into a square  with my name on it written in handwriting I don't recognize. I reach for it and turn it over revealing a dark red wax seal. I study the crest pressed into the dark red wax, feeling like I recognize it but not being able to-- My knees fold below me and I sink to the floor at the realization. I did research on our family history my first year at Hogwarts and this crest was everywhere I looked. The Potter Family crest. 

My hands shake as I tear open the letter.

22 October 1981

My darling Mia,

Happy 18th birthday, my beautiful, wonderful daughter. If you're reading this letter, then I am very glad I decided to write this. While I hope your mother and I come out of this war relatively unscathed, I feel it would be irresponsible if I did not put some things in writing for a worst case scenario. So, I have enchanted this letter to appear to you on your birthday on the off chance I am not there to give you a present in person.

As I'm sure you know, my father inherited a fortune, which through his career he grew significantly, and a manor house. A house in which he and my mother raised me, and I spent my life in. My parents, never failing in their generosity, made our home a haven for others, and a place of warmth and joy, not only for our family by blood, but our family through choice as well.  It has a proper name I never could be bothered to remember but everyone just called it the Potter Manor anyway. If you are reading this it means I am gone and the house is now yours. You'll find directions to it in this letter as it was hidden by enchantments before we left to go into hiding. What you do with the house and the money, I leave entirely to you and your brother's choosing. I know first hand how quickly the world changes and I believe the age of manor houses and ballrooms, and lavish parties of my parents' life is not in keeping with the world you shall be a young woman.

I also want you to know how loved you are. We may not have expected you but we have never regretted your existence. You and your brother have been the shining star that has guided your mother and me through the dark years that have followed us since leaving Hogwarts. I know you will do incredible things in your life, my darling. Watching you grow these last few years has been the most wonderful experience of my life and being your father is the greatest privilege. Your mother and I love you and Harry more than anything in this world. 

I know if you are reading these words, then the worst has happened and I am very sorry I never got to watch you grow into the beautiful young woman I know you will be. Luckily, you have been surrounded by loving friends and family since your birth and I know you and your brother will be well taken care of by your godfathers. Remus and Sirius are my brothers, as well as Peter, and they are some of the only people your mother and I would entrust our children to. Do me a favor? Tell them I love them for me. 

Now, I hear your mother calling me for dinner and I must go have a wonderful meal cooked by the woman of my dreams, joined by the two most beautiful and wonderful children to ever exist. What a lucky man I am. 

With all my love, 

Dad

I can't help as tears fall down my face as I read my fathers words, words he hoped would never reach me, words he might have shown me himself, to which we would laugh at our good fortune and celebrate the 18 years we spent together as a family. I blink back tears and read through the letter again, soaking up the only piece of my father I have. 

As I reread his mention of godfathers, a tightness grows in my chest. Sirius, I know, is Harry's godfather but Remus? I sit there, my knees pulled to my chest, for a moment before the realization hits me. 

The letter in my hand, I run out of my room and into the halls, furiously walking to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, red clouding my vision as the truth of my life comes more clearly into focus. As I enter the darkened classroom, I see light spilling out from the office door at the back. I throw the door open to see Remus Lupin standing at a record player in the back, music playing softly from the speakers. 

"Mia! Are you alright?" He asks, his eyes scanning my face with concern. 

"Are you my godfather?" I blurt out, unable to control the anger coursing through my veins. Lupin pails and he nearly drops the record in his hands. 

"W-Where did you hear that?" He asks, setting the record down and walking around his desk to face me. I hold out the letter, slightly crumpled from my rush through the halls. Lupin's hands shake as he takes the paper, his face growing somber as he reads the words my father wrote days before his death. The office is silent for a long moment, the only sound is the record player in the corner spinning still even after the music has come to an end. After a long moment, I break the silence again. 

"So? Is it true?" Lupin looks up at me, tears shining unshed in his eyes, and nods slowly. 

"Yes..." I close my eyes, willing myself not to cry as he hands me back the letter. I wait for him to continue but he doesn't. So I do. 

"What, no excuses? No explanation as the where the fuck you've been the last fifteen years? Sirius Black being Harry's godfather is bad enough but you? You seem quite capable. I mean you're alive, seemingly sane and decent and yet I had no idea you existed until 5 months ago. Clearly my father was under the impression you'd have been a good guardian to his children and yet, what? You said no? Disappeared until I was old enough not to be a burden on you? Ran away and left the children of a man who called you brother to the care of their muggle aunt and uncle who made their lives a living hell? I assume you knew the state of my mother's relationship with her sister since you were good enough friends to be her child's godfather!" I rant, barely recognizing my own voice as it's clouded through grief and tears and barely contained anger. 

"Mia-" He takes a step towards me, his hand outstretched and shaking but I step back, shaking my head as tears flow freely down my cheeks now. 

"How could you have left us there? Without even as much as a letter? A visit? Not even a single sign that we were not entirely alone in the world? Do you have any idea what they were like? Any idea what we lived with for 15 years? How they lied to us about who we were ,who our parents were and how they died, how they locked us in the cupboard under the stairs when we used magic before we even knew magic was real!" I'm yelling now, rage over taking any sense of decency or respect for the man standing in front of me, looking guiltier than a man on trial for murder. All the rage I've stuffed down over the years about the circumstances of my life bubbles up as I realize what Harry and I could have been spared. I rage and I rage and I don't care if it wounds this man. "You know, all this time I've been wrong about you. All year, I've thought that you were good and kind, that you were giving Harry and I lessons out of empathy when really all along it's just been guilt! You claim to have cared about our parents and yet you abandoned the children they sacrificed their lives for... You... You're just as much of a coward as Sirius Black." I say before turning on my heel to leave. 

"Mia! I-I tried. I promise you, I tried to take you but... I was told I wasn't fit," Lupin says, his voice breaks on the last word. I close my eyes, for a moment, frozen in my tracks as I stand under the doorframe. 

"Then you didn't try hard enough," I say quietly before slamming the door behind me and running out of the classroom. 

A/N: I’m sorry Remus, I love you I promise. Also i’m sorry it’s another all Mia chapter but Mattheo’s is next, i promise.

#harry potter #harry potter fandom #harry potter fanfiction #hogwarts #hogwarts oc #hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry #matteo riddle #hp fanfic #wizarding world #hogwarts houses #mattheo riddle fanfic #mattheo riddle imagine #remus lupin #james potter #of violent delights #hp fandom #hp #first wizarding war #second wizarding war #of v

[giggles-and-freckles]

Tag Game To Better Know You

I have been tagged in so many things by so many of you lovely people in the midst of my sorta-hiatus and I would break the internet if I tried to catch up...but I like this one because it feels like a good little re-intro into the Tumblr world. :-)

What book are you currently reading?

The Writing Revolution...I can't in good conscience recommend it unless you also happen to find yourself as a teacher trying to capture teenagers' imaginations and get them to produce complete sentences! Hahahaha. Miserable toil.

What’s your favourite movie you saw in theatres this year?

Ooh, this one's easy--The Little Mermaid!! I have seen it with my family twice and then with my friends once. (I felt a little freer to lust after Prince Eric when my husband and two children weren't sitting there with me...)

What do you usually wear?

These days, some form of athleisure. During the school year, I've been told my teacher style is "Jessica Day if she didn't care so much" and...that about sums it up.

How tall are you?

5′5″ AND A HALF (alternatively: taller than @stolen-pen-name23 which is all that truly matters in this world)

What’s your star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

Cancer...I think? Malala Yousafzai and Henry David Thoreau!

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

Most folks IRL call me Abigail. It's just my brothers, husband, and you guys who call me Abi!

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

Absolutely not. I wanted to be a lawyer my entire life. My undergrad was pre-law and then life had other plans for me and now I'm teaching 8th grade American History. And LOVING IT. I start grad school in the fall and I'll be getting my Principal's Certification with that, so I suppose I'm in this education world for the long haul.

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

I am tragically married. Sorry to all interested parties!

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

I'm fairly good with piano and singing. I'm terrible at cooking.

Dogs or cats?

Dogs forever and ever!

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?

Oh my. I haven't written as much as I'd like to this year (although I'm hoping to post something before the weekend!!) so I'm choosing to interpret this as the last 12 months. Maybe this bit from walking by her side, talking by her side, have pity?

He holds out his hand, wondering if she’ll bare touching him. “Goodbye, Leia.”

She is not a girl of gentleness—this, he can tell. But she accepts the hand like she’s afraid to shatter it. “Goodbye.”

“Saying my name won’t hurt you, you know,” he says, refusing to be the first to let go.

“Remind me?”

He rolls his eyes. “Anakin Skywalker.”

“Skywalker, you said?” she echoes, and lets their hands fall between them. She opens the door and smiles teasingly at him, tilting her head. “Interesting. That was my father’s name.”

What’s something you’d like to create content for?

I think I'm forever stuck in my prequels hell!

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

Ur mom. Okay...sorry. Ahem. I've been sewing more lately. I used ot dabble in high school, but I'm finding more motivation to make things for my toddler than I did to make things for myself.

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

The weather recently! It was supposed to rain the past couple weeks and we've not gotten much more than a few minutes of sprinkling. I looooove rainy days, so that's bummed me out quite a bit.

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

I'm excellent at whistling. It's completely useless, but I'll get compared to a Disney princess occasionally, so I guess that's something.

Are you religious?

Yes. My faith is very important to me, but it's *my* faith, so I don't feel the need to bring it up with strangers unless asked about it. (Crazy concept, right?)

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

A cuppa tea...so I think I'll go put the kettle on byeeeee

No pressure tags: @pandora15 @stolen-pen-name23 @tessiete @ilonga @kckenobi & anyone who wants to join in the fun!

#tag game #long post #about me!

[milliemakesmagic]

So, I have such a huge urge to talk about this. Trigger warning: unhealthy online relationships, and mentions of sexual harassment.

In 2020 during the height of quarantine, my friend (and Pinterest lol) introduced me to this film called, "Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs." I was immediately interested because it was the first time I saw myself as an animated character. I'm a pale, brunette, with brown eyes and a slim figure. (Yes I know, basic, and most girls in fiction look like that, but I actually DO look incredibly similar to how they animated her.) I grew extremely attached to the gifs and pictures I'd find of Red Shoes because

OH MY WORD IT'S ME BUT ANIMATED

It's quarantine. What else am I gonna do.

When I finally saw the movie I absolutely loved the quirky retelling of Snow White, with the absolutely STELLAR women of all sizes empowerment, AND THE KID FRIENDLY WAY OF SAYING DON'T OBJECTIFY WOMEN. 👏👏👏👏👏

But around that same time, I was talking to a boy online who eventually became my online boyfriend. And even though he claimed to be Christian and respectful, he had a LOT of issues with objectifying women...and by extension, me. He claimed to be respectful of boundaries. But he wasn't. My rose colored glasses were so thick that I didn't see it all until after I had loved ones step in to separate me from this guy before things became dangerous. But I truly thought he was the Merlin to my Red Shoes. And in a way, he was. Merlin is a difficult character for me. I LOVE his character arch and charm. But I sometimes can't get over just how much he did for Red Shoes only for her looks. There was a lot that my relationship with this guy. I was stuck with a Merlin that wasn't going to change his ways. His eyes would always stray to prettier things.

After the hellish breakup, I started therapy, and developed a lot of unhealthy coping strategies. When you fall in love during the "end of the world" you kind of assume he's all you have. So when I lost that and then realized that he'd been sexually harassing me and I was too smitten to notice, it was a LOT to take in. "If I'd given up their magic you wouldn't have helped me find my father would you?....Would you? I thought we were both under the same spell. But now I see that, I was wrong."

My ex used to refer to me as Red Shoes, he understood how much I loved that I felt like I was her. And when he and I split, the pain that movie gave me was unbearable. My Merlin never loved me for who I was inside. I was only pretty.

I even had sent him photos of my in my Red Shoes cosplay that I did for my birthday. I was so excited to show him. Next thing I knew he was blocked, and my costume, my own pair of red shoes, were boxed into the closet where they couldn't hurt me anymore.

And I thought that was the end. I wasn't the princess Snow White. I was some twisted version of Red Shoes that got a crappy ending and a pervert for my "prince."

I dated one or two people a few years later. But it was all surface dating. Nothing emotionally invested. And then my friend introduced me to this guy. And you want to know what one of the first things we did together was?

We sat down together and watched Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs. And he held my hand, and squeezed it when he could tell I was getting emotional.

Months later I have a ring on my finger to be his. And tonight as I laid here listening to the Red Shoes soundtrack that no longer hurts like hell, I realized that my love and connection for this movie wasn't ever between me and my online abuser. It was meant to be a stepping stone for me and my now fiancé. That boy wasn't my Merlin. This man, who respects me, loves me, encourages me and builds me up to be all that I can be, HE'S my Merlin, my prince.

We agreed that I'd wear red pumps on our wedding day. To me, it's a reminder of how far I've come and that God never gave up on me.

And with a loving, secure, and healing heart I can finally truly say,

"I got Merlin'd."

#red shoes #red shoes and the seven dwarfs #rsatsd #I'm gonna cry holy crap

[dckweed]

Can you do one based on the song Love grows by Edison Lighthouse where the reader is Eddie’s younger sister but is a flower child/hippie instead of a metal head and Steve is falling in love with her even though they are way way different?

yes omg i absolutely love that song so so much...im not at the seasons where eddie had been introduced yet so he's def not gonna be featured heavily, and when he is mentioned it's from what ive gathered of him in passing from other tumblr fics ok?

p.s. you're lucky my fiance took me on a random ass date today bc im in such a lovey fluffy mood rn

p.p.s im so embarrassed at how long this took me sksk but anyway, in lieu of my birthday yesterday ( the 2nd ), here you go love! I hope it was worth the wait!

warnings: puppy love at its finest. readers beware, sex is mentioned but i don't go into detail so I'd say it's minor safe! reader has a name in this fic but this is the only thing that is specified about them !! steve being head over heels, steve being completely madly deeply irreversibly in love with you. minor Eddie!Sibling mentions but not heavy bc im not familiar with him.

"...wild and free..." steve harrington x female!munson sibling! reader

Steve Harrington was completely and utterly down on his knees, hopelessly wrapped around your finger, and he had been from the first time he'd laid his eyes on you. He wasn't ashamed to admit that you weren't normally his type, he'd never much gravitated towards the flower child type of girls, but you? Something about you was just so stunningly killer that it shook him to his core and he just couldn't stay away.

He remembers that first day, he had been in the middle his usual banter with Robin, and wasnt paying one damn bit of attention to any customers, nor was she, and he honestly wouldn't have even known you were there until your hauntingly beautiful giggle carried across the store as he said something you'd thought funny. He jumped in fright, turning to find the source of the noise, and when his eyes land on you he feels his entire body kind of deflate for a moment, his breath leaving his lungs as he locks on you and your wildly beautiful form.

Your hair was a sort of untameable wavy texture that gave off a 'wild and free' vibe, you wore a strange outfit combination of a long, flowy white dress and a fringed brown leather vest coat, it looked completely gut wrenchingly beautiful on you. You smiled at him, an eyebrow raised.

"You all there, pretty boy?" You ask, cocking your head at him. You carried a small bag on your shoulder, and you lifted the top, grabbing a couple dollars out of it.

"Yeah..yeah..I'm here.." He says, shaking his head and clearing his throat. "What can I get for you?" He asked, and you grin.

"Three scoops of strawberry." You shove the money at him, and watch as he goes to grab it from the case. "With chocolate sauce between each scoop." He stops what he's doing, and looks at you.

"Between each scoop?" He asks, looking at you as if you were crazy. You nod once, looking at him. "Seems like you're over doing it a bit but okay.." He mumbles, and does as you say.

When he hands you the cone, with a napkin, he can't help he adore the intensely happy look that crosses your face, and he tries not to notice the way that bounce up and down in excitement. "Thank you, Steve.." You say, taking a long lick of it as you start to turn, getting ready to leave the scoops ahoy store.

"Wait-, how do you know my name?" He asks, stopping you in your tracks. You just give him a funny little look. "What's yours?" You giggle at him, shaking your head.

"All this time we went to school together and you don't know my name?" You ask him, before shaking your head again, sighing. "Makes sense, i suppose me and my brother never were on your radar, we weren't much on anyone's unless it was to make fun of us."

"Your brother? Wait, we went to school together?" He asks, confused, he squints trying to think. How could he not remember you? You were so stunningly, uniquely beautiful, how did he not know who you were?

"Really? We literally walked across the graduation stage together a couple months ago.." You say, he looks like he's thinking for a moment before he shakes his head. "Rosemary Munson? My brother is Eddie?"

He recognized your brothers name, but not yours. "Him, I know..you?" He shakes his head, you pout playfully, you couldn't blame him, you didn't really make yourself very known.

"Well, what a shame, Stevie-boy.." You say, slowly backing out of the store, he calls after you, but you keep on walking, your brother was waiting for you somewhere in the mall.

Steve scoffs, a look of wonder on his face as he turned towards Robin. "She called me Stevie-boy.." It seemed like such a childish nickname to him, but something about the way you said it made his knees feel like jelly, and he felt his tummy flutter.

Robin just shakes her head, rolling her eyes at him. "God, you're so weird." She says, arms crossed over her chest.

You had come in a few more times that week, and Steve had made sure to greet you by your name, sweet talking you as best as he could before he finally asked you, it was a Friday and he had had your three scoops of strawberry, with chocolate sauce in between, already put together and waiting for you for when you walked through the doors.

You did a few minutes later, your face lighting up moreso when you see the boy than the ice cream in his hand. "Awe, how sweet, you already had it all ready for me." You say, going to reach for it, he pulls his hand back, and you pout.

"Ah, ah, ah.." He says, placing his other hand on the counter, his bicep flexing under his sailor shirt. "You can have your ice cream, but there's one condition."

You tilt your head, rocking on your feet. "And just what is your condition of my pleasure?" You ask, hands on your hips. "Hm, Stevie-boy?"

There it was again, that fucking nickname that made his knees go weak. "You, me, dinner and movie." He says, not giving you room to say no. He watches you chew your bottom lip, thinking. Fuck that made him nervous, what if you said no? Shit, maybe I shouldn't have done that, he thought, starting to panic.

You look him over, your brother wouldn't be happy about this, but, you didn't care what Eddie thought, you thought Steve was adorable, he didn't seem like the person he used to be anymore, and you liked that he had changed, that he seemed to be outwardly a better individual. "Okay." You say finally, reaching over to grab your cone from his hand, your fingers brushing his, you let them linger a little longer than you should have. "Pick me up at 7?"

He notices you reaching for your purse and he shakes his head, a grin sliding across his lips. "It's on the house, Rosemary." He says. "I'll pick you up at 7."

Steve was on the dot punctual that evening. He had taken the afternoon off from work, trying to figure out where he was going to take you, he had even resorted to asking Dustin. The boy had suggested that he take you somewhere fancy, but Steve had thought that might be too much, but he also didn't want to not do the right thing. He wanted to you like every part of your date, he wanted to be memorable to you, even if it never went past the first night.

After a couple of hours he had finally decided that he would just let you choose, and he started moving on to his clothes, which he fussed and mussed over for a while. He felt like he was trying too much and not enough all at the same time, god, he thought, what the fuck is wrong with you, King Steve?

He stared at his watch the rest of the afternoon, counting down the minuets. Eventually, he finally dragged himself to his car and started it, pulling out of his neighborhood and into the direction of where he knew you lived.

Your brother was not at all happy to know you were going on a date tonight, with Steve Harrington of all people. He followed you throughout the house, talking your ear off about how his popular dick head views were going to rub off on you, and pointing out that he must not be as great as everyone thought because 'look at him now, Ro, he's working in an ice cream store'. You had glared at him. "How dare you be so judgemental, Eddie." You had said, he pouted at you, not used to hearing you be so firm. "He's a completely different person, and maybe his choice of work has actually helped him to become that."

You had kicked him out of your room after that, slamming the door in his face as you focused on getting dressed. You weren't nervous in the least, you were actually excited. You thought he was adorsbly sweet and you couldn't wait to see how nervous and awkward he was, but how sweet he was also.

You dressed quickly, a pair of tight low cut bell bottomed jeans, a tight white cropped top that went half way down your belly, that had flowy white sleeves that hung off your wrists a little bit. And you put your favorite brown fringed vest on top, before running a brush through your messy hair, unable to tame the frizzed out mess. You added your favorite pair of chunky heeled brown boots too, not bothering to put any makeup on, it's not like you'd been wearing it any time you'd seen him anyway.

After a couple of minutes you heard a knock on the front door, and heard your brother scurry to get it as you finished putting on your jewelry.

Eddie threw open the door, putting his hand up on the doorframe as he stares the boy down. Steve bounces on the balls of his feet. "Eddie." He says, hands in his pockets. The curly haired boy wore a an unreadable expression, his eyebrows pinched.

"Steve." Eddie says, pursing his lips, he opened his mouth to speak, he was going to be his usual over protective self, maybe give him a little help. But then he remembered the way that you had defended him, how sweetly you had talked about him when you'd come back from the ice cream shop every day this week. He hadn't seen you talk about anyone that way in a long time, and he couldn't help but like to see you happy. He settles on something else instead. "You seem like the clueless type when it comes to women, and my sister isnt most women." Steve looks at him, confused. "All im saying is..dairy queen is her favorite, incase you didn't already have a restaurant picked out."

"Oh.." Steve says, relaxing a little. He had expected something different from Eddie. "That does actually help me out a lot..she doesn't seem the fancy type, huh?" He says, his shoulders sagging with relief. Eddie chuckles, shaking his curly head of hair.

"No, she's not." He says, looking towards your room as he hears the door open. You step out, your purse on your shoulder. You stop, looking up at your brother and doing a little twirl for him, asking how you looked. "You look pretty, Rosemary.." He says, a soft smile on his face.

You were indeed pretty this evening, even more so than Steve had seen you before. His tongue caught in his throat and he couldn't quite speak when you stepped into the doorway, your brother having stepped to the side to make way for you. "You ready, Stevie-boy?"

He makes a noise in the back of his throat, holding out his hand. "Yeah..yeah I'm ready." He says, smile gracing his face. You did look a very beautiful sight to him, though most would have said that you were dressed strangely.

Steve never would have thought that that night would lead him to where he was now, nearly a year later with you in his bed, leg thrown over his as you pressed you naked body against his. Your head was resting on his chest, wild hair still sticky with sweat from the evenings activities, your breathing slow and light. He ghosts his hand over your spine, up and down, up and down, his other hand is entwined gently with yours, a feeling that gave him more of a thrill than any other thing he'd done with you. It was like you had casted some sort of spell over him from the first moment he'd heard that beautiful laugh of yours, from the first time you'd smiled at him, the first time you'd called him Stevie-boy..fuck, he was so far gone for you it wasn't even funny.

He wondered if you knew that.

He wondered if you knew just how far in love with you he was, how absolutely head over fucking heels, heart beating out of his chest, ba-dum-ba-dum in fucking love with you he so absolutely was..

He knew he was so absolutely fucking lucky to even have caught your attention, and even moreso to have had the pleasure to take you out. He was probably the luckiest son of a bitch to ever walk the earth to have you in his bed right now, to have had the pleasure of making you so delerious with pleasure that you couldn't even hold yourself up after..he smiles at the thought, chuckling at how you had still been shaking when he had picked you and carried you to the bathroom, legs wrapped around his waist as he cleaned you up, taking a warm shower. He had wiped every inch of you down, except for your hair because he knew that you hated going to bed with wet hair, and he has dried every inch of you off before carrying you back to bed, letting you lay on top of him as you drifted off to sleep.

He smiles, staring up at the cieling, unable to keep the lovesick grin off of his face. His love for you grew wherever you were, anywhere you went, he followed, he couldn't bare to be away from you..he would have to tell you in the morning, just how deeply he cares for you, how he absolutely worshiped the ground you walked on.. how completely and utterly wrapped around your finger he was.

You would probably laugh at him, but he didn't mind because he knew you were his. He didn't mind one damn bit if you thought he was insane, because as long as he has his Rosemary by his side, he was content with anything.

#stranger things #stranger things s2 #stranger things s3 #steve harrington #steave harrington x reader #steve harrington fic #steve harrington one shot #eddie munson

[codegeassfacts]

50 Questions to Suzaku // Newtype Romance February 2007 // Canon

These are 50 questions asked to Suzaku in the Newtype Romance; While it's not that much interesting, it's still quite fun;

What's your birthday ? July 10th.

Bloodtype ? Type O.

**Bloodtype says a lot about personnaliy in japanese culture**

What is your height ?

176cm.

**Short boy with long legs**

Favorite color?

Red. Because it seems impreganted with passion, and also because it's in my name.

*Suzaku is a famous phoenix in the japanese mythology; Also Kallen could have had a shot with Suzaku**

What are your Hobbies? I'd say maybe fishing, I used to fish a lot.

Liberal arts or sciences? Or are you more the athletic type? My reflexes being my best asset, I think I'm the athletic type.

What's your best subject? Well...Physical eduction... That's not great, right? I'll have to try harder.

What are your grades like?

Well, since I only started attending school recently, I can't really say. Someone went to a lot of trouble to ensure I'd be able to go, though, so I'm going to hang in there.

What is your dream for the future? For this country to be free of conflict.

Please describe your personality with character in between 2 and 6. Genuine. Miss Milly said so, I guess then ? Can't really disagree with Madam President.

Please tell us what your strong and weak points are. My diligence is vrobably my strenght, but I'm also pretty rough, and I make a lot of little mistakes, I guess those are weaknesses, right?

Favorite foods? I like foods with strong flavors. Food with demiglace sauce, that sort of things.

Your least favorite foods? Miss Cecile's original creations. Don't say it out of there but those are difficult to endure...

After you wake up, what's the first thing you eat? My toothbrush. Morning person or Night person?

I've been in the military for a while now, so I'm basically a morning person. Even Though, if I put my mind to it, I can sleep anywhere at anytime.

Which do you prefer, baths or showers? I take a lot of showers.

When did you first fall in love? (And with whom?) An older girl who worked in my house when I was little. I was only three or something , but I was an early bloomer, you see.

*I think it was in a DVD commentary that they said Suzaku had already gotten experience with a woman who was older //I he isn't a virgin, he really had a thing with onee san**

Your greatest failure? Well, i don't think i'd say that to anyone

How do you vent your frustrations? I yell into the sky when there's no one else around, of course…

Who would you say is your personal hero? I think someone who, for the sake of what they love and what's important to them, sticks to their own principles… could be called a hero.

Indoor type? Outdoor type? I'm the outdoor type.

What's in your wallet? I mostly use cash.

Special skill? I'm run vretty fast (To escape?) Not at all ! How do you commute to school? I walk sinceI live directly across the street from my school.

When have you been glad to be a man?

Well I've been glad I don't need to bother about wearing makeup or being fashionable, that sort of thing. But when you're in the military, it doesn't change much.

What do you most want to eat right now? Gorgeous 4 Pizza.It's supposed to be gorgeous, so I want to see what it's like. Describe your ideal family situation. I won't ask for a lot, just to be with a person I love.

**...Suzaku. I wish we'd have gotten an alternate perfect ending where they could all have lived together with Lelouch. Ideal ending.**

Favorite season? Spring. Because I like cherry blossoms, and it's an exciting time of year, don't you think?

Do you get up easily in the morning, or is it a struggle? I directly wake up.

How many hours of sleep do you get usually ?

I sleep six hours a night.

What was your last dream? A Huge monster attacked me. What was especially scary was that it had Arthur's face!

How much time does it take you to get ready in the morning? Two minutes when i'm fast and five minutes when i'm slow. Three of those minutes are spent brushing my teeth.

Do you have anyone you admire?

Miss Cecile, she's a gentle mentor you can rely on. Also, princess Euphemia. Well only women…

**We knew he was a woman ally**

Please tell us how you spend your holidays.

I go into the city, so that I can see other people enjoying their lives.

Western food or Japanese food? Well, miso soup is a must. I'm making some right now.

If you could be born again, what would you like to be?

Looking at Arthur I can't help but think it must be nice being an animal; Even though, I'd like to be reborn as a human.

What have you been really into lately? Spending time with the student council members. It's been a while since I had friends.

**This man was hated even back in S1. Nonsense**

Your favorite animal? I like all animals.

Of the necessities for life, which one do you think is the most important? Food is fundamental, but, clothing is also a contender if you think about it.

Sorry to push this on you, but what is love ? It might be something that gets taken away from you. But that's sad.

**.....**

Please take a guess at what you'll be like 30 years from now. I think I'll have thicker hair than Lelouch.

If you could time travel, when would you return to ? Those summer days I spent with Lelouch and Nunnally.

Favorite book? (Or what magazines do you read frequently?) Lately, I've been reading cat magazines.

Your favroite type of woman? Women who are strong to the core are attractive. Do I prefer older women? Ah, well that...

**Red color and strong woman ? Kallen and Suzaku really should spend some time together after Zero Requiem, taking care of each other wounds**

Is it better to devote yourself, or to have someone else devote themselves to you ? I'd like to try receiving devotion, but I think I'm the devoting type.

Did you receive any Valentine's Day chocolate ? How much? Well, for someone like me, it's ...

What would you do with a million yen? (Like if you won the lottery?) If I won the lottery… The first thing I'd do would be pay for my school. I'm much indebted to others right now.

What type of person is Lelouch? At first glance, he seems coldhearted, doesn't he ? But he's really a gentle, passionate guy.

We've already reached the forty-ninth question. Are you getting tired? No, the time really flew by.

What do you want for Christmas? I don't need anything myself. Whatever you would have given to me can be passed on to kids.

*Good boy.**

#codegeass #code geass #code geass: hangyaku no lelouch #original code geass #suzaku kururugi #newtype magazine #lelouch vi britannia #questions #official material #lelouch of the rebellion

[alinasteelcrest]

🤥🍟🍁🎭 for all 3..? :)

For all THREE omg okay hold on let me try to remember anything about my own ocs

Thank you for the ask :D!

(OC Emoji Asks)

🤥 LYING - are they good liars? do they have tells to show they're lying?

Alina is... decent at it. She gets better after she starts hanging out with Ydris. King of making people manipulative just like he is ig 😭

Shoji's good at lying, but he doesn't do it often because he would rather be ""brutally honest"" (aka an asshole). He's capable of straight-facing his way through basically anything.

Wynn SUCKS AT LYING. He gets shifty and won't make eye contact and it's harder to find the right words. That kid will incriminate himself halfway through

He's just little, though, so honestly it's good that he's a bad liar LMAO

🍟 FRIES - do they order food often? or they prefer to cook their own food?

Well two of them are horses so they kind of eat whatever's offered to them DKNSBSAHJH

Alina really likes cooking, she mostly prefers to just make things for herself, but she's also definitely not against having something delivered if she's had a long day or really particularly wants something.

Wynn is a garbage disposal he is NOT picky, but he does get excited when offered like,,, part of whatever Alina gets for herself, because it doesn't happen suuuuper often so it's more fun.

🍁 MAPLE LEAF - what is their favourite season? why?

Alina is so winter-coded omg, silver everything, sweaters and scarves, hot drinks and comfy blankets, etc etc. Even her guardian horse is white and blue!! Summer is a CLOSE second though, she likes the beach and her freckles show and her birthday is in August...

Shoji's a bit more complicated to me because like,,, his birthday is in February and he does like getting to hang out in front of the fire when it's cold, but Alina's birthday is in summer + he really loves the sun. But then there's also? his wife and kid are both spring-enjoyers which means he's legally obligated to also like spring. If I Absolutely Had To Pick, I'd say summer. 🤔

Wynn likes fall! The colours change and there's all sorts of fun seasonal treats and he looooves Halloween. He managed to convince Alina to take him to Galloper's Keep last October and had the time of his life. (GIRL WHAT!! GET HIM OUT OF THERE)

🎭 MASKS - do they act differently around certain people? what's different between the way they act around friends, family, strangers, etc.?

Alina's polite with strangers and polite in that... sly "I'm-better-than-you" way with people she doesn't like. She's slightly distant with her parents (It's been... a while since they saw each other irl :( She just isn't willing to leave Jorvik for extended periods of time), so I would almost put them in the 'strangers' category with how she acts around her family? Not to mention she grew up in an environment that taught her not to reveal how she's feeling.

With her friends, it depends on how close they are. She's kind of. anxious. a lot. So unless they're really close, she might be a little reserved. If she's close friends, besties, ride-or-die with someone, then she'll come out of her shell. With her horses she's her truest self, willing to be silly and (god forbid) even willing to show when she's upset about something.

Shoji is a mean bitch to Everyone. He was even like that towards Alina when they first met. He will continue to be like that to everyone that isn't currently Living In His House(/Stable).

As for those he lives with... Well. It's like a completely different person. No harsh words or sarcasm or insults. He's someone for Alina to confide in and get advice from, he's the Best Dad Ever (or he's doing his best), he straight-up down bad for Thunder even after all this time being horsie-married. Dare I say it... he's a bit of a sweetheart.

Wynn's just cheerful and excited to meet basically everyone. He'll go up to strangers and try to be their best friend (even if they can't understand him). If there's more than one stranger at a time, though, then he gets shy.

#ahhh this got kinda long. that's okay- it was really fun. thanks again for asking !!!! #sso oc #ask game #alina #shoji #wynn

[queenhermionelambert-blog]

My answers to the Daniel Durant tag:

1. How were you introduced to Daniel?

I just barely knew about Daniel before he was announced as a contestant on Season 31 of Dancing with the Stars in 2022, but now I'm a lifelong fan!

2. Moment that made you fall in love with Daniel?

The moment that made me fall in love with Daniel was when he got a sweet and touching message from his CODA mom Marlee Matlin on Good Morning America to promote the then-upcoming season of DWTS!

3. Character you relate to most/have strongest connection with?

Ooh... that's a tough question. I think I'd say maybe Leo, mainly because he's strong, and he loves his family. Plus, how hot is he?

4. Favorite Daniel and Marlee moment?

I can't pick just one.

5. Favorite Daniel & Britt moment?

Literally, all of them! 🤟🏻💙💜🫶🏻💗💕💋😍🥰 ✨️ Team Sign to Shine always and forever ✨️

6. Daniel moment that made you want to give him a hug?

I always feel really bad for Daniel whenever he gets emotional, tears up, and/or starts crying because he's high up there on my hug list, but one that really stuck out to me and still continues to make me really emotional to this day would probably be when he told Britt a really heartbreaking story about how his birth mother left him when he was just a baby and revealed that she tragically passed away from cancer.

7. Favorite character?

All of them for different reasons.

8. Most heartbreaking scene in his whole career so far?

Check out my X for Day 13 of the 24 Days of Daniel challenge that I did leading up to his birthday.

9. Favorite quote/line?

"Who Wouldn't Want More Moms?"

10. Favorite TV performance?

All of his dances on DWTS with Britt, especially their Jazz!

11. Favorite CODA Daniel moment?

When he tells his on-screen sister that he and their parents will be fine without her and to follow her dreams. Such a true message.

12. Favorite Deaf West Spring Awakening Daniel moment?

The scene before the song Touch Me.

13. Favorite Lori and Mary moment with Daniel?

There are far too many to count. Daniel has 2 of the absolute sweetest moms in the whole world.

14. Favorite Daniel and Alex moment?

That's like choosing between my children. I don't have a favorite because they're all amazing!

15. Favorite Switched at Birth Daniel moment?

Definitely in the series finale when Marlee's character takes Matthew in off the street.

16. Genre/role you'd love to see Daniel take on?

I'd be excited to see him in any role, to be honest, because I'd still be rooting for him even if he was playing a villainous character. It's an unconditional fan love thing, you know.

17. Silliest Daniel moment?

I will never not laugh when Daniel is silly.

18. Cutest Daniel moment?

There are way too many to count or even pick. Daniel is always so cute.

19. What does Daniel mean to you?

Daniel is part of the reason that I chose to major in ASL in college, and I can't imagine my life without him in it.

20. Special (belated) birthday message to Daniel?

Happy birthday to the cutest, funniest, most kindhearted person that we're so lucky and grateful to have on this Earth with us, including but not limited to Britt Stewart. Happy birthday, Daniel Durant! 🤟🏻💙💜🫶🏻💗💕💋😍🥰 Keep killing it and being the amazing person you are, Daniel, and never ever forget how much we love you!!! ✨️ Team Sign to Shine always and forever ✨️

#daniel durant #moritz stiefel #spring awakening deaf west #daniel n durant #alex boniello #dwsa cast #spring awakening headcanons #codamovie #dancing with the stars #brittbenaestewart #another birthday post! #dwsa

[anvilsims]

Trevor and Maci took me to this new seafood place for my birthday. They were even nice enough to ask the waiter to not sing Happy Birthday. Ha!

Made the whole "going grey" business a lot more manageable. I also had to start wearing glasses. All those years of reading and writing essays finally catching up.

I like to think I'm still handsome despite all that.

A couple days later, Trevor and I were taking Daisy to the dog park when I ran into two fellow oldsters.

Their names were Rita and Issac.

I initially thought they were a couple but Issac was quickly to correct me. He and Rita were just good friends who had living together for ages. Neither of them settled down with a family.

They were both easy to talk to but Rita and I really hit it off.

We were both music lovers so we were able to chat for a long while about our favorite bands and musicians.

And here I was worried that I'd be out of place with the other elders.

A couple weeks later, Erika came for a visit!

She felt so bad that she wasn't able to see us when we last visited to meet Jean so she arranged a trip for herself.

We quickly caught up. Erika had been flourishing in Mt. Komorebi's extreme sports scene and Arturo was in the process of adopting another kid.

I told her about the birthday surprise from Trevor and Maci and about meeting Rita and Issac...

In fact I might have been a little too excited to talk about Rita.

"Oh? Is my eternally single old man falling in love?"

"Wha!?"

"Dad, I'm your eldest so I can say for sure that I have never heard you talk like this about your friends."

"*Sigh* Don't tell me that I finally found "the right one." I'd been hearing that since high school..."

"Dad, no! You know I'd never say that. I'm just saying that... well maybe you're demi rather than just ace. You just needed to build a strong emotional bond."

She had a point.

"Okay, I can tell you're still thinking about this. Give yourself some time to figure it out. I believe in you.~"

I thought about what Erika said the next time I invited Rita.

I'll admit that spending time with Rita felt a little different compared to past friends or even Issac.

I don't think it's sexual attraction. But things just kind of... click with her.

I still can't really picture myself as flirty or even *cough* enjoying some woohoo.

But I think there's... something between Rita and I.

#sims 4 #the sims 4 #whimsy stories legacy challenge #generation 2 #heir: linden lovewell #Both Rita and Issac came from the Gallery and I wasn't sure which one to hook up with Linden at first so I just let them interact #And the more I thought of it the more Rita and Liden seemed cuter to me #So shout-out to Ploppy009 for making Rita and M1ss-B-Haven for making Issac

[blockofhoney]

When you’ve got time PLEASEE tell me anything and everything you wanna share abt the spice rack babies I love them dearly..

okay i'm finally home n can answer this!!!!!

so i have my own timeline / self-indulgent fix-it canon that i'm still in the process of developing, n it's in that world that these 3 came to be!! their birthday is march 23rd (b/c that's the day i created them lol) n i'd say they were born about 2, maybe 3 years after fundy adopts yogurt? that feels about right. nutmeg's the oldest, then anise, then cinnamon.

nutmeg's the resident explorer of the bunch- if there's a way to get into something, She Will Find It. she's pretty much the living embodiment of "curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back." she's very easily distracted n completely fascinated by Everything n spends most of her time staring at whatever's caught her attention. like a tbh creature!!! appearance-wise she leans more cat than fox n has tabby / striped fur.

now anise, anise is the absolute sleepiest little creature you're ever gonna meet. eepy 24/7. she is just constantly napping on every conceivable surface, n then some more surfaces that you would not define as comfortable. n i think any time she is awake is painful for everyone involved as she gets Cranky. how does so much anger fit into such a tiny body?? nobody knows. of the 3 of them, she's sorta in-between a cat n a fox, n has calico patterned fur.

n last but not least, cinnamon!! he's quite the energetic n loud little guy. he's very excitable n seems to have inherited fundy's inability to sleep. the good thing is once he Does manage to fall asleep, he's out like a light. just, completely dead to the world. also idk if you've ever seen that video of someone drawing a bug on a piece of paper n the cat swatting it as soon as the bug has all its legs but that is essentially him. he's also the most likely to eat a bug / generally put something in his mouth that he Really Shouldn't. his fur is all one color (brown i think?) n he leans more fox than cat.

now that that's all been established, let's get into the weird magic shit:

idk exactly What fundy is in my hc, b/c for me wilbur is this mimic-adjacent entity that hatched out of the ender dragon egg in phil's hardcore world n i haven't decided if sally is a salmon hybrid, a kitsune, or something else entirely. (it's worth noting that for the Longest time fundy thought he was just a fox hybrid b/c he just. wasn't told otherwise. wilbur talks w/ him about it sometime after he gets revived n when they're on speaking terms again n suddenly things start making a Lot More Sense to fundy.) either way, whatever his heritage ends up being, fundy's got some weird magic shit goin on, n his kids follow suit. b/c of wilbur, each of them has the ability to mimic certain things- nutmeg can mimic plants, anise can mimic animals, n cinnamon can mimic sounds. it took a while for these abilities to make themselves known, but once they did, raising these 3 got a Whole Lot More Difficult. (moreso than it already was, anyway.) i think cinnamon would've discovered his magic first, then nutmeg, then anise. n depending on what i decide sally is, at least one of them might have some more potential magic shenanigans.

okay i think that's about it

#paq.qna #softiestyx #the spice rack #<-- that's gonna be their tag i think. unless i think of somethin better #oh i did have a specific reason for why i chose the spices i did for their names. but idk if i want to curse the public w/ that knowledge #i'll just say i channeled my inner c!h n leave it at that

[theirloveisgross]

For my part it all started here on tumblr. I had one where I used to reblog sporadically about my favorite tv shows, pictures of cats and nature and such. And then one day, around the beginning of 2021, a picture of Harry in that beautiful blue dress from the vogue photoshoot came up on my dash and I was like 'damn he's so fucking pretty, who is he??". Imagine my surprise when I realised he was harry from 1D, aka the boyband my little sister was a fan of when she was 13 (it was around 2012). We're 6 years apart and didn't get on that well at the time so she stayed away from my interests and me from hers. Imagine my surprise when discovering that the pretty boy in the blue dress was the same as the little curly boy I remember from my sister's bedroom posters. Anyway from here, I watched a lot of youtube videos starting from 1d mvs and then compils of 1D funny moments which made me fall in love with the boys and finishing with fimq's videos which made intensified my curiosity and growing love for louis and harry's bond. I still rewatch her larry crackvids sometimes, never fails to make me smile. At the same time after following a bunch of people and only lurking, reading masterposts on all blogs ect. for a few days, I finally started a new blog to join the fandom. Needless to say from then on I wasn't just "sporadically" on tumblr anymore lol Half my free time is split between tumblr and ao3 because of these two and I regret nothing. 😌 The sad thing is my sister was thrilled when she learned I'd 'finally' (to quote her) become a fan of 1d and even more of louis and harry but I quickly discovered that I couldn't rejoice that much myself? Like she loves the boys but she's a much more casual fan than I am. She doesn't do her own researsh so she easily believe stunts stuff if she comes across it on twitter (she's on twitter user and tumblr feels like an obscure concept to her while I'm the total opposite). She's like "louis and harry were/are really cute together" but that's all, they must be finished since they don't ever interact and we never see them together. Freddie is louis' son for her and 'look they are so cute'. I don't have the energy to argue with that and it's not my job to convince her otherwise anyway. Anyway it was a bit frustrating at first as I had hoped to be able to share my fandom experience with someone irl through her but I've made peace with it. On the positive side, I'll have company to see louis in october! She was the one to offer me tickets to see him for my 30th birthday~ And that's was for my origin story! Keep them coming people, I'm enjoying reading them!!

Hi!

Oh my, this is so soft! The fact that you found Harry in a dress first. 😭 Reminds me a bit of me watching the music video for Lights Up back in late 2019, because a friend showed it to me, and I knew Harry was in 1D, and I simply saw his queerness and gave him props and that was it. IF ONLY I had looked further then... *sigh*

The relationship with your sister sounds a lot like mine. Sadly, she was a fan of the Jonas Brothers and not 1D, so I barely knew about them. We get along better now and we're both queer af so that also helps, hahaha.

FIMQ's videos are forever! They're gold! I need to rewatch soon... it's been a few months.

I love that you found them on tumblr, so to say, and stayed here as well. It is my favorite community, for sure!

I'm so glad you're here! And yeah, I wish I had people that get it irl, and I went through the phase of wanting to tell everyone close to me, but it just gets tiring, the side eyes, the polite smiles, which is FINE, but I need you to get. it. Hahjasha. Because if you don't care, you won't get it. Like, you have to care so much to do that amount of research and stick with them. It's fine, there's always people here that get it, and when you finally meet some of them irl it's like... it's euphoric! I hope you get that soon!

Also, have the best time at Louis show! I'm so excited for you! This tour is INCREDIBLE! Like I always say, nothing will beat what LTWT means to me... but FITFWT is bigger, better and he's so much more relaxed, and happy and just... it's such a joy seeing him grow like this. Hoping to get a job soon and maybe I can be crazy and also see him in October.

Anyone who sees this and has joined the fandom in the last year or so, send me a message if you want. I’m so curious what was your starting point, what made you go “Larry?” and then “OMG LARRY!”, hajdhahs.

#larrie births

[johannestevans]

Update 17/08/2022

Good evening!

Some updates - great news if you're living in Ireland or if you're soon to visit.

I'm gonna be doing a stand-up comedy show tomorrow night in Ireland's Smallest Comedy Club at the Dew Drop Inn here in Galway, with Johnny Graham, Bob Hennigan, Edwin Sammon, and Ian Burke. You can get tickets here.

Also as a regularly running event, I'm now running the Queer Pub Quiz at the Oslo in Salthill - every Tuesday evening from 7pm until 9pm, pub quiz! Teams of up to 5, free entry, 30 questions in two rounds of 15. I'm really excited about keeping it running as a regular event, especially for different queer communities in the city, so definitely come along if that's something you might be interested in!

Media Recs

Das Boot (1987, dir. Wolfgang Petersen) - The cult classic, Nazis on a submarine experiencing what feels like (and ultimately is) certain doom. This movie is two and a half hours long and I watched it purely because Leo said it was very good. And was it very good? Yes! I enjoyed it! With that said, I did fall asleep about an hour and something in, was left to nap for twenty minutes, and then we went back to watching it. I will say that to really enjoy this movie you might like to do what we did, which is watch it as a homoerotic submarine movie double-bill - first, we watched Down Periscope (1996, dir. David S. Ward), and then we watched this one.

Prey (2022, dir. Dan Trachtenberg) - A new movie, also bound to be a cult classic, I'm sure, because it's fucking sick. I haven't seen any of the other Predator movies, just FYI, but I loved this - I will echo what a lot of people have been saying, which that it feels a little unnatural that a lot of the characters are speaking English through a lot of the film, and there is a Comanche dub that's better if you're able to get hold of it!

Resurrection (2022, dir. Andrew Semans) - You know, I really wasn't sure what I'd think of this, and I didn't know what I thought of it as I was watching it, but it's extremely compelling throughout, and the last act really sold it for me. This is a movie about abuse, about the psychological effect of prolonged gaslighting and emotional abuse, even decades free of it, and ultimately it has a really Greek tragedian feel that's just as gory and just as viscerally horrifying as the House of Atreus.

I also absolutely have to recommend P-Valley, which I think has just finished up its second season and is fucking unbelievable television, it's unspeakably well-written and so much better than basically any other drama on TV right now, and I'm obviously loving the new season of What We Do In The Shadows still, last night's episode was absolutely my favourite so far.

New Works Published

Firstly, my Directory of Work has been updated with all the new works since March! Check it out on my website, on Patreon, or on Medium.

Study Session

1.6k, cis M/M. MB. A student fucks his professor against the gym wall. Prof/student, older bottom/younger top, age difference, size difference, wall sex, semi-public sex, biting, dirty talk, teasing, threatens of spanking, D/s implications.

On Medium / / On Patreon.

Getting Old

1k, cis M/M, MB. Two old men sleepy on a pirate ship. Sleepy sex, intercrural, teasing, a bit of banter, mostly just two old men being tired and achy together!

On Medium / / On Patreon.

Rocking

700w, cis M/trans M. Birthday sex. Slow, drawn-out sex, teasing, PIV, lots of decadence and indulgence here. Samuel Coates and Tom Warren, again!

On Medium / / On Patreon.

Push-Pull

800w, cis M/trans M/trans M. A man happily pinned between two others. Mild D/s, threesome, oral and PIV sex, implied overstim, teasing.

On Medium / / On Patreon.

The Interview

4k, cis M/trans M, MB. A workplace roleplay with age difference and some hearty degradation. Younger boss/older prospective employee, pre-negotiated roleplay, degradation and humiliation, daddy kink, nipple play, PIV, riding, sex in the office, casual sex, bareback. The older man is fat, but none of the degrading language is about his body or his size except for commenting on the size of his chest — the degradation primarily is about his age and assumed loneliness.

On Medium / / On Patreon.

Asking Nicely

Trans M/M, 2.1k, MB. A trans man taking his partner’s strap learns precisely how strong he is. Featuring a massive tentacle strap-on, vaginal sex, size difference, teasing, overstimulation, Daddy kink, begging, crying, STRENGTH kink, even a little bit of belly-riding.

On Medium / / On Patreon.

Milk Production

3.3k, cis M/trans M, MB. A country doctor finds his footman in an unexpected condition. Featuring older!trans/intersex doctor/younger!cis footman; the footman is lactating and the doctor is really into it. Featuring lactation, milking, some mild sadism and humiliation, lots of praise, PIV sex, eagerness, D/s dynamics, age difference. There’s reference and implication throughout to feeding and weight gain as the younger man is skinny, but no feeding within the course of the fic.With Doctor Nathaniel Mills and Tristan Sunderland.

On Medium / / On Patreon.

#original fiction

[evenstargws-attic]

The Fishy Tales - Chapter 6

CLICK HERE FOR PREVIOUS CHAPTERS 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5

===

Chapter 5 ended with Patience wanting to visit Evergreen to remind her of her purpose. Every little thing that can help her keep her hopes up will be important now, while she has such a hard time and so many doubts about the path her life is taking. She will do that indeed, but not before it is her birthday which she thought to let pass quietly.

This chapter is mostly about one very special night between soulmates with an impossibly strong connection and love. It is about how little things can make a person very happy and memories can help a person keep their hope up.

"Hello lovely lady, fancy meeting you here !" a familiar voice sounded behind Patience… she turned around and saw her soulmate.

"Aha ! So that's why my sons were so attentive, they were in on this weren't they?" she giggled "The house hasn't been so clean in a while and the little ones were all in bed, there was a bath waiting for me and my nice clothes laying on the bed…" she mused "I didn't understand it, I told the boys not to bother with my birthday since we can't all be together I'd rather skip it, they agreed, but you had other plans it seems. Thank you !"

"Yes they're were part of the com-plot" Paka'a admits "Now come on my-lady, let's dance !"

"I didn't want to let this day go by without making it special, so your sons and I came up with this little outing. Meanwhile, Marvel and Wonder, they're taking care of their siblings so don't worry. You've named those two aptly, they were so enthusiastic when I told them my plans."

After the song finished clammy lightly shaking hands grab Patience's hands and after a deep breath he whispers: "I've been wanting to ask you something for a little while now,… just couldn't find the right moment, and I'm pretty nervous at the moment, … let's walk to the beach."

Now he has made her nervous too, and when Patience is nervous she starts to babble, which alleviates Paka's nerves because it's so cute he forgets to be nervous himself. "Look" she blurted "A very bright star up there, so pretty ! Can I make a wish now ? That's what people do right when they see a particularly bright star, or is that only with falling stars? Doesn't matter … I'll… "

"Yes very beautiful" Paka'a interrupts just in time, while he looks at her and not the star that is indeed very bright in the sky above the ocean "Go ahead, make a wish,… I'm not sure when is traditional, …" "though I don't need a wish I have everything I could ever want right here…" he murmurs in a low tone…

As if timed the piano starts playing and his hand goes into the folds of his wrap ...

Patience gasps ...

"Don't worry, it's not an engagement ring until you've completed your task" Paka'a tells her, "But it is a promise… of my lasting love and for the day we can be together forever." Paka'a says while he puts a ring on Patience's finger "will you wear this until the day I can replace it with a proper engagement ring?"

"YES ! I will wear this each and every day with pride and it will help me keep my spirits up when it gets tough."

Paka'a proudly scoops up his woman and says "now ill take you to the beach…"

"Honestly I was afraid since you seemed so absent lately when we talked." Patience admits "I thought maybe you had found someone else and … well it seems I was afraid for nothing… you did all this wh…"

"You didn't see him just yet then ? Chivalry and Justice just snuck off that way …" Paka's laughs and points at the other way off the beach.

"OMG !!!" Patience laughs too "I have such sneaky boys, I haven't taught them that I'm sure!" She looks at Paka'a with twinkle in her eye while she pulls up her eyebrow in that endearing way she does…

"Woman shut up and relax for a bit OK ? Let me hold you and listen to the silence for a little while …"

The silence last for a whole 30 seconds, at which point Patience admits defeat and says "I can't Paka'a … I'm to excited after that little surprise with the ring… are those the cookie … they are,…!"

She is like a whirlwind from one subject to another and not being able to sit still. "I baked a batch of honey cookies for Chivalry who told me he had a date and he wanted to give these to her … hahaha !"

Paka'a just looks at Patience amused by her "Yes, and your favourite tea is there too ! Ginseng with a dash of honey …"

Patience darts off towards the water "Let's swim and then drink a cup of tea !" she yells, then goes back to pull Paka'a with her …

"You are not afraid of this water are you ?" "You a merman and faster then most denizens of the ocean" Patience tells him

"You are… !" she gasped not waiting for Paka's to answer her question "You always do that thing with your hand in front of your mouth when you're scared !"

"Come on ! I'll protect you !" she whispers in her ear

"Don't pull my arm of lady,… i need that to hold you later !" he says while being pulled towards the water.

For close to 30 minutes they play and frolic in the water until it is full night and the water gets a bit chilly. Plopping down into the sand near the teapot. "Now stay here, sit still and ill fetch the tea, then let me hold you …" Paka'a said, and so they cuddle until it is time to go back home…

"This was one of the best days of my life, thank you my love" Patience tells Paka'a before they part that night !

===

After finding a more complicated but different pose player for the pictures (i have troubles with my original one) I am able to make nice pictures again for my stories luckily. This concludes another chapter in this love-story, Patience has 67 children now and has just turned adult so with a little luck her wedding to Paka'a will not be when she is grey and old.

CLICK HERE FOR PREVIOUS CHAPTERS 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5

===

CREDITS:

Big thanks to KHD ( @kerriganhouse ) for the furniture I used on the beach. Also the posemakers Beto ( @beto-ae0 ) - eternity love, Simmerberlin ( @simmerberlin ) - it's okay, Herecirm ( @herecirmsims ) - 1908, Mell Bennet ( @mel-bennett ) - perfect duet, and anyone else who recognizes their content in the pictures of my heavily modded game deserve my thanks, because without them my stories would be simply text and no pictures ...

#mermaiden #sims 4 story #the sims 4 #ts4 #ts4 gameplay #ts4 mermaids #sims4 challenge #100 babies #patiencepaka'a #fishytales

[leontyne]

My birthday has never been important or special. I was the middle kid of 5 and only girl so you'd think there'd be something there but alas.

My birthday falls in December. It's too close to Christmas to be remembered. Too close to Christmas to be worth the hassle. Not close enough to fall into that "it's both your birthday and Christmas present" category.

I realized my birthday was a burden when I was 11-12. I woke up excited, as you do. I always was that kid that never mentioned the day, I didn't like the idea of seeming greedy and I always secretly wondered if I'd be forgotten. I think it was around lunchtime it clicked for my parents. They seemed frustrated about something, wished me a happy birthday and told me they had to go visit someone (aunt?) And then I could open my presents.

When they came home they gave me a shopping bag full of this and that, the only things I remember now is the colouring book and one of those generic art supply packs we all probably got at one time or another. Nothing was wrapped but I didn't really focus on that. Nothing was wrong per say, I was big on art at the time. It took me a little to click that they had forgotten about me.

I remember every year after that feeling like I wasn't allowed to talk about my birthday coming up because it was a bother, it was so close to Christmas that of course they'd be broke and busy and shouldn't have to deal with that stress.

I stopped asking for things. If I was asked, I'd offer the cheapest thing I hadn't the time to get myself. One year dad built me a tv cabinet. Beautiful thing but 10 years later I no longer had a tiny block tv but a plasma followed by an lcd. I didn't have the room anymore so I was made to feel guilty about having to get rid of it. It truly was lovely..

I never had a party growing up and whenever I went to parties we couldn't afford gifts which I didn't understand at the time, I just thought you didn't take anything. Everyone else did, so I always felt terrible but always forgot by the next party.. there weren't many.. maybe 4?

On my 18th I had 2 parties. One organised by my college friends, one by my mum. The first was with friends at a bowling alley with cake and my favourite people. My 2nd eldest brother also came but it took a while to realize he'd come to hit on my friends. That's another story. Never mind. The second party was at home and involved alcohol, a bbq, my parents, 2 eldest brothers and 2 cousins and one of their gfs. We went to the pub for a drink then went home again. The night ended in a fight between the cousin and gf and didn't really make an impression.

I've had birthdays without any gifts, birthdays without any calls, birthdays wrapping my own stuff to unwrap again on the day, birthdays where I was made to feel bad for checking if I was still allowed to have the $50 they'd give me instead of a gift, birthdays where my friends had me spend my money on them for junk jewelry, birthdays where I simply cried in my room until the day was gone.

My birthday is not special. It was never special.

I am in my early 30s now, I have a death anniversary to share with it (obviously not their fault), I have no girlfriend or children, my family is busy with nibblings and hospital and Christmas.. f**king Christmas.. which I now take almost complete responsibility for, for my nibblings on my mother's behalf because otherwise they'll run themselves into debt at the last second.

So I just don't mention it anymore. If I'm asked, I ask for an exacto knife, a watering can, a charger, a book. Most of the time this just gets my hope up and they forget anyway so that's also fine.

I'm not one to point any of this out though. If I did I'd feel terrible for even wanting something nice to happen. I'd feel terrible for the guilt they may feel or the financial strain I'd put on them or I'd simply feel like anything that did happen was born of pity and not want in celebrating the day.

So I just buy myself a nice pair of converse or a game or a movie and just move past it and start counting down again.

But sometimes.. sometimes I wonder if I could ask a stranger, a pretty lady with kindness in her eyes, if she could spend the day with me. Make me feel like that day means the world to her because it's the day I was born. Make me feel loved and worth it and special and individual. Maybe a swim at the gorge, a walk around town, a stop in at the book store, a picnic in the park, a cozy night in with my favourite movies, trashy take out and some star gazing, falling asleep in a huge ass fort we made in the lounge while telling secrets and stories no one else knows. She wouldn't have to love me. She wouldn't have to know me. It'd just be enough for her to pretend that I was important for that one day.

The day is close and my heart is breaking and I just can't wait for it to be gone again.

Perhaps someone will remember the day this year past fb wishes and awkward texts that only come once a year.

Perhaps I'll stop hoping and it'll stop hurting.

Perhaps.

#depressing shit #dont mind my rambling #nevermind #ill be fine