#one fucking day

[ghost-proofbaby]

okay but before i check my inbox can i entice you all in a thought that has haunted me for over a month now

being in a relationship with rich businessman steve harrington and international rockstar eddie munson. traveling with them, the way they would take care of you and never let you ever want for a single thing. steve taking you with him places in his expensive cars, always driving far too fast for the way he keeps only steers with one hand as one always has to be on your thigh to just be near and touching you. eddie flying you with him when he has to travel to studios in california, just for an excuse to see you on a board walk in short shorts and his sunglasses. you’re their trophy wife, an untouchable that every other ceo of the intricate world of businesses spanning across several countries and every single shady musician eddie has worked with knows to not fuck with. tabloids when the three of you attend rooftop parties in italy, pap photos of you tangled up with eddie, giddy off champagne or wine and fancy finger foods you two indulged far too much in as steve is networking. the internet headlines break whenever you attend a charity gala with steve, always looking pretty on his arm as he makes absolute heart eyes at you, his safe place amongst such a cold and frigid world of boring contracts and men twice his age. eddie always making it clear in interviews that he’s your eye candy side piece, claiming that you’ve always been the brains in the relationship while he and steve are just there to care for you. steve getting no work done when you visit him in office. eddie using you (and steve) as his muse for every album.

an extravagant lifestyle, a world of riches, but the best part always being that at the end of the day, both of your boys will always come home to you. every day will always end with quiet nights, the three of you wrapped up in bed sheets, soft sighs and silent contentment as you all finally feel at home in one another’s arms.

#this concept has haunted me #ONE DAY #ONE FUCKING DAY #ILL WRITE IT #yes this originally came to me in a vision when those italy rooftop photos of jq dropped 💀 #eddie munson #steve harrington #eddie munson x reader #steve harrington x reader #steddie x reader #god i just want my boys to spoil me #fuck feminism #i’m a housewife for them at the end of the day #tabloids and fans alike know you’re the real star of this relationship lol #please #one day i will write this even if it doesn’t see the light of day #it comes to me in visions and lingers

[stonerzelda]

ever since i was a little boy i dreamed of having a table

#one day i will have a fucking surface to draw on #one fucking day #also a GOD D A M N LIGHT

[themoonsbeloved]

This moonlight abaya.... is everything

#if only it wasnt £65 😭😭😭😭 #one day #one fucking day

[themistymountainscold]

is it too much to ask for the vibe of my life to be like what solider, poet, king makes me feel like 😔🖐️

#ONE DAY #ONE FUCKING DAY #i’ll be so comfortable with my life #i’ll have my surgery #i’ll be comfortable in myself #i’ll be on t #and i’ll be living for myself and not for money

[sergeantnarwhalwrites]

One final, my thesis defense, and capstone left.

#I'd love to say I'm excited but my birthday falls between all this and the thought itself fills me with neverending exhaustion. #personal #soon I'll be free #one fucking day

[frecklystars]

Holy shit. Thank you guys for all of the asks. I got exactly 50!

I meant to respond to them when I got home from work last night, but I didn’t have enough energy by the time I was done reading these. I’m still incredibly exhausted today, it’s like all of the energy is completely sapped out of me since I was in the emergency room the other day.

The heavy ache in my chest definitely lessened while I was focused on reading what you guys wrote last night. The reminders that my TF F/Os still love me is something I really need to hear, something I probably have to tell myself multiple times... I spent so long being conditioned to believe otherwise.  

A few of you also reminded me that Starscream had gone through heavy abuse, and he wouldn’t support someone who treated me the way Megatron treats him. It helped me feel better... I think that’s what got through to me the most. I’ve seen so many commissions/fics my ex-friend showed me where she was being manipulative, and that she would be loved for it. Seeing all of that visual representation of her being so tenderly loved by these characters while she was hurting me at the same time, for so many months, it really did some damage and made me internalize the belief that all transformers characters would want to hurt me the same way and love her for it. Especially when the characters she commissioned and talked about the most often were forming into PTSD triggers. For almost a year now, I have just assumed that all of those characters she wrote and commissioned, including Starscream, would encourage her to hurt me and that they would love to see me getting hurt. I don’t choose to feel this way, it’s just... trauma. 

But a few of you wrote about how... canonically, Starscream was so fucking pissed when he was abused, especially in RiD2015!! He was so broken up and angry just like I am!! His entire 3 episodes focused on him repeating how unfairly he was treated, how much he wanted to hurt Megatron for all the times he was put through emotional/physical pain, how years had passed since he escaped being tied to his abuser and yet he was so, so angry and still worried that he wasn’t strong enough bc that is what he was conditioned to believe for millions of years. I want to think that same bot would look at me and see himself in me, and hold my hand through this and tell me it’s gonna be okay and it’s gonna get better and he’d never want to treat me the way my abuser treated me. How could he bear it if his little starflower looked at him the way that he looks at Megatron? I don’t want to think he would support my abuser’s actions, no matter how many fics or commissions she has stating otherwise. When I escaped a toxic situation with someone else 3 years ago, I turned to Starscream for this exact same reason, I looked to him for support. He helped me get through it. Now, I need him again after facing treatment that was absolutely horrific, except I’ve been conditioned to believe he would hurt me too; I just feel so sad when I look at him and I wish I could feel loved by him again. It’s been really, really, really hard. Hearing other people tell me that he loves me and would never want to hurt me really helps, I need to be reminded of that, because I absolutely can’t believe it when I try to tell myself.

I’m sorry I’m not able to respond to your asks at the moment, I’m extremely exhausted from. everything. Today has been difficult as well so I will be offline for the rest of the night. I don’t know if I’ll be online tomorrow. 

I’m not 100% sure when the commissions will open up, I was really hoping it would happen this week but I didn’t expect to have that panic attack Tuesday, it really drained me. I am hoping that I’ll have comms open by next week, it all depends on how I’m feeling. I might spend more time offline to limit seeing any potential triggers bc I’ve been very fragile since I went to the emergency room, things that normally wouldn’t make me spiral before are probably things that I will have more trouble handling right now, at least until I can calm down again. Normally it takes me about 3 to 5 days to calm down from a severe panic attack like that. But I gotta spend another $400 on new glasses tomorrow morning so... I really do need to open comms soon :’) They will absolutely be open within the next 2 weeks, I just don’t know exactly when. Anyway, thank you guys again for the nice messages, I really needed them and you helped me feel less alone last night ❤

#woof #and all of the asks were nice!!! thank you!!! #im sorry i gotta turn anon back off :( #i didnt get any bad messages or anything but im just cautious #dw i wont keep anons off forever. some of u were asking me to keep it on #i just dont want to read something negative or see any reminders of my abuser #bc then when im at my concert i will be more prone to having flashbacks instead of enjoying charlie puth bangin out the tunes #but ill turn them back on uhhh when im feeling a little better i guess #i just got some ppl trying to talk to me abt my abuser last week like 'ooh shes posting abt u!' #'shes spreading rumors about u. thought u should know' well i DONT want to know! thank u! #anyone who brings her up telling me what she's 'posting about me' is automatically blocked at this point #if she wants to spread rumors that is her problem. and i dont wanna know about it #bc shes dead to me and im keeping it that way ❤ #anyway. to all the ppl who wrote 50 nice messages!!! thank u! i needed them #i will reread them the next couple of days while im feeling rly sad and missing my starlight #god i cant wait to get the hyperfixation back. i cant wait to feel safe w/ them again. #one fucking day

[m00nz-writes]

so i fucked up royally today. my laptop is completely fucked for the time being as i accidentally broke the screen like the moron i truly am, so all projects are currently on hiatus until i can either get the secondary laptop i have running and unlocked, or i can get my primary laptop fixed. basically; i'm beyond fucked right now.

#i am god's favorite punching bag #and i'm about to punch him in the fucking nuts for what he's done to me #fuck this #fuck my life #fuck everything #i just want one good day #one fucking day #where i'm not stressed beyond belief #and being fucking tested #i now understand why people steal #because life is fucking expensive. #writer #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writing #writerscommunity #fanfic #fanfiction #fanfiction writer #ao3 fanfic

[uraandri]

i lost my fucking sunglasses somewhere and i can't find them and if i don't find them i might just kill myself

#one fucking day #i had then on my head on tuesday evening and now it's thursday morning and i can't fucking find them #ura.txt

[dumpsterfireofsubtext]

Me when.,, when too poor for top surgery.

#one day #one fucking day #shaking my fist at the sky #carrying on out of spite #and I feel fragile in this tumblr post tonight #sorry Richard Wilson I’m using your picture to complain #personal

[disastrous-aries]

That half-assed (and that's me being generous) LV behind the scene vlog of yuta is so skhddkjdneks

6 minutes filmed on an iPhone, dpmo now...

#sigh... one day SM #one fucking day #nakamoto yuta #nct

[cinnabeat]

when day ill get my emurui ohedo julianight cover

#one fucking day #michi tag #I CAN HEAR IT SO CLEARLY IN MY HEAD #realistically itd probably be a group cover rather than a duet #if they ever do have the song anyways lmao #but i can pray for a emurui another vocal 😭

[bornsexyesterday]

One day I will be pretty and pull so many bitches

#one day I will be as pretty as Courtney from cotc #one fucking day

[scopeiguess]

I am never putting my phone down again!

#ONE DAY PEOPLE #one fucking day #everyone looks great though #my wesper heart can't do this #i have rewatched it about 726271919476171839337 times

[mattmurdocksscars]

The amount of times I've thought "I am awake but at what cost?" Since having Little Man is probably astronomical.

#one day #he will sleep for more thand 2-3 hours at a time #one fucking day

[musclegoth]

always feel awkward when i dont get to actually say hi to someone else driving my car. like no, i didnt greet u properly.... my brother in arms........... kiss me on the mouth

#dude today had a super clean one #white n red #and the muffler sound...mmmmmahahaha 🥵 #sorry i love car #not as clean as the lime green guy who i sTILL HAVENT RUN INTO while im drivin #one fucking day #fate will pair us #literlaly somewhere down the street from me #why is my luck so bad #it's bc once i finally meet them the mystery will be over

[cadaverkeys]

You guys rlly don't realise how much knowledge is still not committed to the internet. I find books all the time with stuff that is impossible to find through a search engine- most people do not put their magnum opus research online for free and the more niche a skill is the less likely you are to have people who will leak those books online. (Nevermind all the books written prior to the internet that have knowledge that is not considered "relevant" enough to digitise).

Whenever people say that we r growing up with all the world's knowledge at our fingertips...it's not necessarily true. Is the amount of knowledge online potentially infinite? Yes. Is it all knowledge? No. You will be surprised at the niche things you can discover at a local archive or library.

#rambles #if you are a person who is into delicate skills #like lacemaking or printing or sewing #you will know fair well just how non expansive the knowledge online is in comparison to written guides from like the 50s #there was a time where at least one person in the household had to know a constructive skill #but in the modern day there is just less ans less demands for comprehensive guides #library propaganda #im stuck doing an essay rn but bc i have covid i cant go to the library and its totally fucked me #i want to source a lot of the stuff i read irl but i just cant go and get it and theres no online ver