#I'm sorry if you're a kiwi and want her but i just ordered the last one available online in NZ today

[p-taryn-dactyl]

Bourbon and Cigarettes pt1

a/n: helloooo. ok so, i was listening to a Yelena Belova playlist on Spotify, as one does, and Kiwi by Harry Styles played and BOOM I got a fic idea but not for Yelena lol - for Carol Danvers...she's so hot lmao

prompt/plot: You and Carol's story - at least part of it word count: 486 taglist: @coolbeans32

pairing: Carol Danvers x fem!reader request

She worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes

Hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect

You let the smoke billow from your lips and nose, taking a drink of the bourbon next to you, cigarette hanging loosely from your fingertips. The club was packed, loud music blaring as people danced to the tempo. You could practically hear the sweat hitting the floor from the people high on the lyrics. Fiddling with the rings adorning your fingers, you told yourself to actually start going through the books. Owning a club had its perks but keeping up with all the books and receipts made you want to rip your eyes out. Just as you picked up the glass of bourbon and opened the binder, you felt someone slide onto the stool next to you. You paid no mind, instead focusing on the numbers and charts in front of you.

"That looks complicated." A voice dripping in humor spoke, coming from the woman besides you. You turned your head away from the book, your eyes meeting brown eyes swirling with mischief. Her blonde hair was cut short, the longer strands falling in front of her eyes. You smiled, cocking your head in a quick shrug.

"It can be." You turned back to the binder, nerves prickling as you felt her continued stare. After a few minutes of barely getting anywhere, you slammed your pen down and turned your full body towards the woman. She huffed out a laugh when you raised an expectant eyebrow.

"Well, I was wondering how long it would take," she waved down your bartender, Marc, and ordered two bourbon neats. She turned towards you, "And what will you have?" Marc looked surprised, you rarely let anyone buy you a drink. Afterall, you owned the bar. Someone buying you a drink just for the money to go to your pocket felt wrong. But everyone has to do something wrong in their life and you decided this was better than tax fraud or murder. Smiling at the woman, you ordered a Clover Club. Marc winked at you before going to make the drinks. You took one last drag on your cigarette before stamping it out and tossing it in the trash. The woman raised her eyebrows at you.

"Anyone ever tell you that's terrible for your lungs?" you laughed.

"Relax, I only ever have them when I'm stressed."

"Let me guess, you're stressed a lot." You licked your lips and made eye contact with the blonde, taking your first sip of the drink Marc had placed in front of you.

"Maybe." You said playfully, making the blonde chuckle. You smiled, placing the drink back down and folding your hands on the counter.

"I'm [Name]." The blonde circled the rim of her drink with her index finger while making direct eye contact with you, taking away your breath with the intense look.

"Carol. Carol Danvers."

okay so, i'll continue with a part two if anyone wants it lol i just thought this would be a fun idea! sorry it's so short

#carol danvers x reader #carol danvers #captain marvel #marvel #fem!reader #carol danvers x fem!reader

[donaidk]

300 followers and 6-monthversary

So I wanted to bring these two celebrations together, as they happened pretty close to each other 😅 Tumblr, and mostly F1blr, has now been part of my life for 6 months on a daily basis, with only a few days offline. It has been up and down most of the time, but still, it's not a lie if I say it has brought me a lot more laugter than tears. (Even some good tears sometimes) Taking this moment and trying to make it a great one, I would like to just share a bit of positivity, and mention a few people who took part in me enjoying this site either by talking to me daily or just blessing my dash with their posts.

First of all the few people who I somehow had the courage to talk to and became a huge part of my journey here:

@x-lipstickstain-x, @georgeinamerc, @formulola, @landonorrisgeorgerussell

You guys were always there for me to talk to either about irl situations or racing wise and I always felt comfortable enough to bring up even opinions that would be considered unpopular. Thank you for being such pillars to my Tumblr daily routine, even if we don't talk every minute or every day. It wouldn't have been the same without you guys. Special mention to Moni, who has been here since day -1 and who I really don't know how can keep up with my brainrots, anxiety and random thoughts on the daily. You're a real champ and I hope we can celebrate a lot more together in the future 🥺

I also wanna mention a few people, who I may not know closely, but who make my dash look pretty and also make me laugh with their posts/tags all the time. I really do recommend you following them if you're looking for a bit of fun 🥰 (in no particular order)

@dams-racing with all her great gifsets and edits about all the series you can think of @kiwi-lawson the spotify collection abotu the drivers everyone has to see, also very pretty gifsets and edits @ilottsupremacy who pretty much killed me in the last few days with the punk edits, and I just generally love her enthusiasm about everything @formulaunoo killer album cover edits that i hope will never stop coming, and edits that make me excited to scroll through my dash @liam-lawson the one who caused me to have flashbacks of her fancams while listening to different songs, killed me with one (1) jüri fancam, also fire moodboards @formationlapsz the very good kind of 'you think you saw all the Danny Ric content? no you didn't' person, and i just simply love your posts @babssionate all the racing infos you can need presented on lovely ppt's, and someone who I just love to keep up with in general for her opinions and posts @acrosstobear someone who always makes me laugh with her tags, makes lovely fancams and has a fantastic little series going on with @formulaur who's also someone I can only recommend! @limp-wrist-max pretty videos, moodboards, edits, wallpapers and also reaction pics, and don't forget about an url that just makes me laugh every time i see it on my dash @yukitsunoda very charming edits, gifs and moodboards that always get my chin on the floor @rafealnadal the prettiest drawings out there I have ever seen @landhoe I will always be in awe about how realistic her drawings are @danielxricciardo fics that i can't keep up with there's so many, but always make my evening when I can finally catch up on them @callumilott all the professional looking graphics and gifsets about all the formula championships

And just a little special mention for the small Hungarian 🇭🇺 circle I got to "meet" on here and who give me a little connection to home even here, where people are from everywhere around the world and who I also recommend becuase they're all funny as hell:

@formulola, @holymacncheeseballs, @papayaboismybeloved, @tittipaldi, @clausoos93, @watermelon-seb

(I did manage to forget someone, I'm so sorry 😭)

I really hope I didn't forget anyone, I tried real hard to remember all the lovely blogs, but I also know I don't follow many people on here and that there are many more lovely girls and guys who deserve all the attention! I myself thank you who decided to stick with me and who have been part of my days, bringing my mood up every time I was about to fall. I truly may not be the same person if I didn't join when I did, and I already have so many great memories to look back on, even after just 6 months. Here's to many more, hopefully 🥂 All the hugs to you guys! 🤗🧡

#6monthversary #300followers #thank you post

[limenysnocket]

The Plan

Summary: It's your birthday (hooray!) and you still have to work (not so hooray). Nevertheless, you can still count on your friends to cheer you up, but not as much as your loveable boyfriend who insists you spend your birthday with him and a romantic dinner, rather than at a party your friends set up.

Warnings: Swearing, drinking, Taika (yes, he gets his own warning), some content may be explicit-ish.

Request: @whatwememeintheshadows

A/N: So people are actually planning their fics nowadays???? Did I not get the memo or something??? These come straight from my head????

THIS IS SO LATE I'M SORRY. Happy (very) belated birthday.

Tags: @honorarytenenbaum @olyvoyl

○●□○●□○●□○●□○

Okay, so maybe work was less of a bitch today, you had to admit. People were nicer to you today, you got an extra thirty minutes added on to your lunch break just because, and, of course, you got a couple of dirty birthday cards and some cash, but that really shouldn’t matter, should it? What did matter, is that you would get to have some you-time, all by yourself, with your vibrator, a couple of movies, and some nice, low calorie ice cream (that tasted like total shit). At least... That’s what you thought would happen.

“You should totally come party with us! I’ve got the booze, Jess has the men, and we’ll make a whole night out of it! Alcohol, strippers, and dancing! How does that sound?” your friend, Enid, reiterated everything for you at least one thousand times today.

“If I wanted a stripper, I’d ask Taika to dye his hair, shave himself everywhere, and oil up a little. That’s the only sight I’d be happy to see, thank you,” you huff and smile. You appreciate the effort to get you out and about, possibly be a little frisky, but your heart just wasn’t in it, and that was much to Taika’s luck.

“Oh, come on. Taika can’t have that much of a grip on you! He has a lot of ‘female friends’, so what’s wrong with you having some ‘male friends’ hm?” Jess cooed to you, but you immediately whirled around, insulted that she would even suggest that you would do such a thing. And you were sure Taika had female friends, yes, but they were just friends. Nothing else. Although, his flirtatious behavior scared you sometimes, at parties. Some of the women would just swarm him, and you feared any one of them would catch his fancy more than you did.

“No. I don’t want strippers at whatever the hell you’re planning,” you stated again, firmly this time. Your two friends whined again, Jess lowering her head in defeat.

“Fine, but can we still bring booze? Invite a few more friends to party?” Enid asked, setting a hand on your shoulder and pleading to you with large eyes.

You chew at your cheek and think for quite some time. Your friends want to throw you a genuine party, and God knows how long it’s been since you’ve hung around a group of unfamiliar faces, especially since you started to date a Hollywood writer. Maybe it was just what you needed. Taika was supposed to be busy for the night, anyway.

You succumbed to the pressure, and nodded. “Okay,” you agreed. “But if we get any noise complaints, your talking to the cops for me.”

“Hell yeah! You’re not going to regret this! Just you wait! Go home and clean your place up a little. I’ll be by in an hour or two to get things set up!” Enid clapped her hands together in mischief, and Jess suddenly looked more spry. You gave her a warning glance, and she only grinned back, before skipping away, chatting gayly with Enid at her side.

You can’t believe the shit you just got yourself into, and you still wouldn’t believe it, the moment Enid and Jess arrived with their arms full of cheap liquor, streamers, finger foods, and a bunch of colorful-looking lights that look like they just came from a Wal-Mart Christmas sale. As soon as you gave them the go-ahead, they started tearing shit open. Between setting up, your phone started to ping over and over again, as well as your friends’ phones. Apparently, just a few hours was enough time to notify everyone in LA about a party, who it was for, and where it was going to be at. 

You just sat back and sipped on frozen margaritas (meant for the party, but it's your party so you didn't give two shits), until the party started and there was a heavy flow of people rushing into your home. Invited or uninvited.

When things started getting wild, that's when a pact was made. Enid and Jess would be cleaning up your house after this was over. You were already stepping over beer cans as it was.

You can't even say you were having fun there. You barely knew anyone. Most of the people there were just randoms looking for a good time, and unfortunately you saw some of them getting that good time in a dark corner. You made an excuse to run upstairs and lock all the doors of the bedrooms before anyone could think about getting there. That's what you thought, at least.

The party was getting to be too much, too quickly. In haste, you locked yourself into your bedroom, and took a step back. You could still hear the muffled voices and loud, posh laughter on the other side of the door. Those girls would pay. You rush over to your window, overlooking your backyard and see people divebombing into your pool, creating waves and getting people outside of the pool wet. People were leaving their trash everywhere, and many red, plastic cups floated in the (for now) clear waters. You didn't know how much more you could take. Maybe parties weren't your thing after all. Especially with strangers.

You sit back on your bed and you don't even bother looking out the window anymore. It was best to stay inside your room, if you didn't want to be molested or assaulted by some dumbass who thinks it's okay to anonymously grope women in crowded areas. Your face buries in your hands, griping to yourself how this would be over in a few hours. Right?

There's a subtle knock on your door, and you jump. It's in the regular, stiff-three order, so you are very hesitant about going and getting it. Then, there comes the "shave and a haircut" tune. Not a very good one, and kind of slurred, guessing by the way there was a loud thud at the very end, the person knocking was shoved against the door. Damn you and your pity.

You're quick to move, despite the strong feeling telling you not to. You just knew some poor soul was being smooshed out there. Fuck, you were nervous. This was screaming bad idea, but you were going to pull through anyway. The plan in your head seemed childish, but it should work fine if the person was desperate enough to get in. One quick swipe of the door, and you're golden! Surely...

You flick the doorknob lock and gulp, keeping a tight grip. On the count of three-- and after having to restart because another desperate knock jumbled up your thoughts-- you sent the door flying open. Sure enough, a heavy body came tumbling in with it, tripped, tried to balance, then ended up crash-landing cartoonishly into your bed, bonking their head a tad on the wooden post at the end of the frame. You hissed a little bit, then closed the door again. You rushed to their aid as the person looked up.

"I thought you liked private parties more than this," a soft, kiwi accent cooed at you, obviously through unbridled pain. This bewildered you even more.

Taika was sitting on the floor, legs extended out in front of him, making him look like a giant from your angle, and he was dressed in a blue tux, black dress shirt, and polished black shoes. Well, they seemed a little scuffed now.

"Shit, Taika-- what the fuck are you doing here?" you drop to your knees and cradle his aching head. He winced at the touch, but was too happy to see you again to deny it.

"Well, I came to take you out on a surprise birthday dinner. Maybe pick up a bottle of wine and go dancing with my favorite person, you, under moonbeams and twighlight," his head bobbled from side to side, which didn't help his animated character, "but it seems to me you have company... and a lot of it."

You sigh and brush an unkempt curl back into place while he cheekily grins at you. "This wasn't my idea," you murmur. "Friends set this up. They'll also be the ones to take it down. I didn't really want to spend my birthday with anyone this year. Makes me feel old."

"Well, you seriously should have known someone was about to stop you from taking another bite of that shitty ice cream in your freezer. They dished it out in shot glasses down there. Even a sober chick couldn't handle the taste," Taika snorted playfully and you rolled your eyes. He seemed to be taking this situation surprisingly well. It was weird. "But it was much to my misfortune that your 'friends' got to you before I could. Maybe I should have settled on a birthday lunch, but that didn't sound too appealing to me."

"Would have been much better than the chicken salad and dry-ass piece of cake I had for lunch today," you fired back. He sighed again and stood up with a groan. You followed with him.

"What now?" he mumbled, stroking the stache on his upper lip, then letting the tips of his fingers wander down to his smooth, freshly shaved cheeks.

"Well, we're both stuck here, so I suppose we settle in for the night and wait it out." You plop yourself down on your bed again and just stare up at him. He doesn't move, however. His eyes were focused on the window, more specifically the lock on it, and he was nibbling at his bottom lip. He was thinking. Some people might call it strange to watch him think sometimes. He really was like a cartoon. With one tap of his foot, he spun around on his heel and faced you.

"New plan," he clapped his hands together. "Get dressed."

You were confused for the next fifteen minutes or so. He helped you pick out a deep blue dress that would somewhat match his and black heels. He was escorting you all over the room with his hand on your lower back. He even tried to do your makeup for you, but he was so inexperienced, you had to take over. The last time he had to do someone's makeup was on the set of the original, five-minute What We Do in the Shadows film.

While you finished your makeup, he was practically smooching your window. He was staring at it like a dog asking to go outside. It made you a bit nervous, seeing the cogwheels turn in his head. He took your hand and lead you to the window, unlocking it and pushing it up.

"Want to go first?" he said behind a proud smile. When he only received silence and a pure, "what the fuck," stare back to his face, he shrugged, and stepped out the window himself. Luckily, you knew fully well he wasn't about to fall flat on his face and die on the pavement below. You had a screened back porch, with a roof over it's head as well, since the seasons tend to get very hot and sticky and mosquitoes just love to lay visits. He stepped onto the roof, trying not to bring too much attention to himself. Once he had bounced down, he brushed himself off, then looked up at you, expectantly.

"Come on, then! Don't have all night!" he hollered and waved to you. "Need me to catch you?"

You gulped, not bothering to answer him. You gently scooted your lower half out the window and taking your heels into your hand. You didn't want to break an ankle on the landing. "Lord, give me strength," you muttered, squeezed your eyes shut, then took a leap of faith. You tried not to squeal as the rushing air flew by you like sticky wind, but before you knew it, your feet touched slanted ground. You felt like you were about to tumble, but strong hands met your waist and kept you up.

"Beautiful!" Taika beamed and kissed your flushed cheek.

"I hate you sometimes," you slapped his chest and made him laugh. He took your hand and started leading you to the other side of the porch roof, and came to the end, where your driveway supposedly was. Parked dead center was Enid's big, black SUV. Tall enough to just be a little hop away from the roof.

"One more, leap, dear?" Taika was on the move again, but you grabbed his sleeve before he could actually make the jump.

"Taika, no. That's Enid's car. She already spends so much on gas, think of how pissed she'll be if she has to remove dents from her roof!" you explain, nervous from the outcome of this little plan of yours.

"Sweetheart," Taika said airily, turning his full attention to you and taking your hand again. "If she was a good friend, she would have known a massive party like this would have pissed you off. Plus, I don't think just cleaning the house is going to get even with this God awful day. So, why not put a few dusty footprints on her car, hm?" Taika was back to grinning, and before you could say anymore, he had leapt away and landed on top of the car with a large thud. He motioned to you with a swipe of his hand. You were in way too deep with him to give up on him now.

You followed through, heels swinging in one hand, and he caught you again like the perfect, Maori prince charming he was.

Car hop, after car hop, he lead the way and made sure you were okay with every stop, until you reached a small enough car to hop down, scale the lawn and make it to his jeep.

"That was," you said, breathless. You couldn't find the right words, and Taika just chuckled at you.

"Exciting?" he filled in the blank space on his own, cocking an eyebrow.

"Yeah," you laugh, fanning your chest and brushing a single strand of hair back. "That's a good word for it."

"Well, excitement doesn't stop here," he opened your door into the jeep for you, bowing respectfully and playing everything up for you, like you were royalty. "I have everything set up for you to have a great night with yours truly. As long as everything goes according to the plan this time..."

#taika waititi #fanfiction #taika waititi x reader #what we do in the shadows #taika waititi imagines #taika waititi imagine #taika waititi x you #taika waititi/you