Fuck whatever DC is doing with the al Ghul's characterizations and story lines, I've decided that from now on the al Ghul's are gonna be DC's version of the Addams Family instead.
Now I don't mean just give the various al Ghul's the exact personalities of the various Addams and call it a day. That's boring, that erases all the interesting parts of the al Ghuls, that's just using "find & replace" and not actually adding anything. I mean give them the vibes of the Addams Family.
Keep the al Ghul's as the al Ghul's with all their scheming and machinations and world domination attempts but give them all the unhinged energy, the casually insane view of the world, the deranged levels of love and devotion for family. Make them that group where objectively they are batshit insane but also you cannot argue with the fact that they are indisputably the most stable and functional family in the entire universe.
They're creepy, they're kooky, they're mysterious and spooky. Ra's many opulent homes and impenetrable fortresses are a museum and the al Ghul's really are a screa-um whenever people come to see-um (or when they lay waste upon their enemies in a surprise attack that has been planned for months and is just the first domino in a series that will ultimately lead to achieving a far greater goal).
They all love each other and want each other to be happy, they express this primarily with stabbing and murder attempts (its fine, death is a thing that happens to other people).
And forget the League of Assassins being a cult. Just make the whole vast globe spanning organization a collection of cousins/aunts/uncles/dear old friends ect. No one (not even the al Ghuls, if they cared to keep track of such things) is sure who is actually related to them and who just got absorbed into the ever expanding family tree based on their vibes being right.
(Is Sensei Ra's father you ask? Well he's certainly someone's father - probably.
Anyway have you heard about Cousin Cheshire? Despicable poisoner of a young woman, capable of the most horrific things imaginable - yes she is the sweetest dear. Like I was saying though, she just had a baby!
Everyone in the family is just so excited to throw a baby shower to celebrate! Ubu has really gone all out with the spike traps, he does so love getting to welcome a new addition to the family.
Talia of course has cultivated a brand new strain of the most toxic plants imaginable to make a brand new kind of necrotizing poison. You know, as a nice little romantic gift for Cousin Cheshire and that young man of hers. It really is so important to make sure you take time for you and your partner to go on dates and have a few pitched battles to the death on dark rooftops in the pounding rain when you have children.
Now there is some to-do about it all of course, you know how family get together can be. Everyone is arguing over who should get to give little Lian her first weapon and what it should be. Nyssa is pushing for grenades but Ra's is insisting on a sword - he's traditional like that you know - but Dusan has the vote so far on throwing knives. You know the kind that have the little divots along the edges of the blades them to make it easier to get the poison you dip them in to stick.)
I'm just saying that the al Ghuls should be a delightful cross between the Bond Villains they were originally conceived as and the lovingly unhinged Addams Family. It just feels correct in my heart.
(Again keep the interesting aspects of the characters and the nuances of who each of them are like their drive to save the world through destroying humanity and their strong environmentalist leanings and their constantly playing 5D chess and everything, but like, take away the racism and the cartoonishly evil for no reason bullshit and give them some fun feral energy to go along with it).
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Want to hug and kiss my close friends :(
Want to be totally cool and awesome with them :(
Want to express that I would throw myself off a bridge for them if it was like a saw trap :(
Want to talk to them for hours and hours :(
Want to learn stuff I'll never need to know from them :(
Want to pretend like we're a couple for discounts and to look even more badass and close bc amatonormative society but also bc it would be silly and fun :(
Want to inside jokes :(
Want to bite stab maim anyone who makes them sad :(
Want to sit in comfortable silence for hours :(
Want to cuddle :(
Fwend..
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its been enough time for me to stop gatekeeping and Immediately talk about how, in a human au, i choose to interpret the night in cars 1 where lightning and sally talk.
sally listens to mater and lightning talk, mater slowly driving down the main road and lightning trotting along beside, talking to him through the open window. the conversation goes how it does in the movie, nothing much changes there, but when they split lightning makes his way into the motel office to get his room key.
hes Dirty. hes got mud in his hair and sally just cringes because the rooms have white sheets and she does NOT want to scrub dirt off of them. she tells him that, he cant sleep in the room if hes gonna track dirt everywhere. he just kind of winces and apologizes. its not like he really has anything with him, and, on his crash into town, he cut his arm open pretty badly and has gauze wrapped around it. doc still isnt too fond of him, and he tells sally that he cant really shower because doc will Kill him if he ruins the bandages.
without hesitation and out of nowhere, sally is like well i can help you wash your hair in the sink right here! and she cant even process her offer until its already out of her mouth. he gets a kind of shocked look on his face and is like oh! okay. that’d be nice. and they both stand there awkwardly before one of them makes the first move (its sally; she quickly runs into the “back room aka her little apartment” to grab her shampoo)
lightning wanders around the counter, studies the stuff on her desk, and flinches when she reappears. he doesnt really know what do to so he just stands there and waits for instruction.
they get to talking, conversation Basically the same as it is in the movie, shes helping scrub the dirt out of his curly hair and its dawning on her that maybe hes not an awful person after all. maybe he Is a little misguided.
its a generally quiet scene, a majority of the light in the little office/lobby is from the streetlights outside, and its very comfortable. they get more comfortable as they chat, and its at this moment that she realizes maybe she even likes him.
the end of the conversation is the same, he thanks her for letting him stay and Also helping him feel a little cleaner considering he hasnt showered in what feels like years (its been like 3 days)
the next morning shes talking to flo and she thinks she can casually talk about how lightning is actually kind of nice and flos like ohhh honey ure so in love with him arent u. she immediately gets flustered and tries to deny it and all flo can do is give her the knowing motherly look of “u love him dont bullshit me!!!”
her and sallys conversation, though, kind of opens flos mind up to the idea of hearing lightning out — maybe he ISNT that bad.
anyways silly domestic salqueen Gets me . i think stuff like this becomes a little tradition between the two like just quiet comfortable chats over random little things. do you get me.
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