#JUST GOT MY ASSOCIATES OF THE ARTS AT 18 LETS GET IT

[captaincalamity]

tumblr. look at my graduation cap.

feel obligated to remind you that this is technically an mcr blog

#mcr #my chemical romance #graduation cap #i guess? #JUST GOT MY ASSOCIATES OF THE ARTS AT 18 LETS GET IT #danger days #the true lives of the fabulous killjoys

[ravenstargames]

✦ Lost in Limbo Devlog #9 | 02.29.24

What is this?! Two devlogs in one month?! More likely than you think! This February has been very productive for me and the team, so let's dive right into it!

Ooooh boy, Raquel keeps knocking it out of the park! She managed to get done every expression for every LI, and I coded them all! Now we have our wonderful characters ready for their debut. We have been using the wonderful Image Tools for Ren'py made by the talented and hard-working Feniks, whose tutorials and resources save a lot of dev's lives every day! This tool has made everything a bit easier for newbies like me, hehe.

Here's a taste of our edgelord's expressions! 💜 They're kind of a cutie when they put some effort into it!

We also had our second valentine's day celebration art piece thanks to Kayden! Sadly with the reworked version of the demo, you won't meet Vycar yet, so we thought we could ask for his forgiveness by giving him a beautiful bouquet and reminding him how much of a sweetheart he is! 💜

Also, Raeya got a hair update!

So, we weren't completely satisfied with the way we portrayed Raeya's hair, so this has been a rework we were sure we wanted to make. At first we were just going to render it again, but we ended up working on it from scratch to better represent what we envisioned for her. We hope you like it as much as we do! ; v ;💜

As always, we are open to any critique or advice; we are white people who have the luck to be able to ask POC friends for their advice as we work, but the more the merrier! Don't hesitate to send us your opinion to our ask box or even our email, [email protected]!

When it comes to the background department, we have been making great progress thanks to Airyn, who is honestly leaving us with our mouths hanging open every time! Thanks to her, another background has been finished and another one is in the making, leaving only two backgrounds to be revised and approved!

I personally can't stop looking at this WIP! She understood perfectly what we wanted to portray just by looking at an old WIP we had, and this is what we have so far—and it's already amazing!

Allie has been OBLITERATING the script. As of today, I think we have almost gone through everything that needed to be corrected and discussing, and lord if the script doesn't look a 100% better after we put it in Allie's hands. The way she writes, the way she understands everything I want to say even when sometimes I don't even know myself—what a talented, inspiring and amazing writer they are. I know I may sound annoying at this point singing her praises endlessly, but if the script is in the state where it is now, it's thanks to her!

My programming adventure of the month has been a success, if I say so myself! I've coded the characters with aaaaall their layers, their expressions, the blinking animations, made some videos, and started coding the script. Step by step as they say; I've coded 18 pages, and there's, uh...142 more to go. Haha! *sobs*

BUT WE ARE GETTING THERE! We can see the light at the end of the tunnel! I can finally click 'new game' and read the script and see the stuff going on! YAY!

Some extras of the month—we are preparing a Casting Call to choose the voice acting talent that will hopefully give voice to our characters. The demo won't be fully voiced (it's impossible with the funds we have, which are...zero), but if we are lucky we'll use some of our personal savings to pay for at least a few lines for each character so you can get an idea of how they'll sound if we get funded! Raquel is preparing an art piece for the announcement, and I'm getting the document ready and asking fellow VA friends for advice :3.

Also, we have a new member here at Ravenstar Games! Some weeks ago Astro and I formally adopted our first kitty, 8 month old Riki, fulfilling one of our dreams. We got him from a feline association that works with volunteers and fosters cats who have been abandoned, cats they find on the street, and so on. Riki has been living with me since January, and he's a happy, long big boy who loves playing, cuddles, and sitting on my desk while I try to work!

Say hi to the Ravenstar family, Riki! 💜

A productive month full of accomplished milestones, excitement and new challenges! The team has worked so hard, and I've done my part too! We still don't want to get ahead of ourselves, but we have done a lot of stuff we were sure we wouldn't finish yet, and look at that! We are doing so well!

As you can probably tell, my batteries are starting to run low, so I'm going to leave this devlog here. Thank you all like always for cheering us on, for being here in this journey with us, and for all the love you send our way. Let's hope March is as amazing as February has been, for us and for all of you! 💜

#lost in limbo #visual novel #otome #indiedev #devlog

[asmolfolk]

Hi S. Can I request hc for Hades (RoR) and fem s/o? S/o is having a bad day and Hades comforts her intimately? 18+ and fluff please. Have a good day/night!

After a long time, guess who is back again? I finally finish my studies and I'm just chilling right now. So, as I'm in a Hazbin Hotel, HSR, Wuthering Waves and ZZZ brainrot And, I'm trying to get back at my feet for writing - if this isn't good is because of that :< (Also if any of you noticed that I didn't put dialogues with the S/O, it's mostly for her to also represent people with disabilities that makes them rely on sign language and everything <3) Also! If anyone is interested in Hazbin Hotel AU's, I have an > alternative Account < for drawings [what will include my au's <3] and also, I will probably start posting some X reader and long fanfics in my AO3 account. Also, I post some arts in my Twitter <3 Click on the pink text to go to the links <3 —— —͙ – -✰ Fandom: Record of Ragnarok / Shuumatsu no ValkyrieCharacters: Hades. Warnings: Smut! —— —͙ – -✰

Hades x S/O: Feelings.

Hades is a simple man: The world could BURN and he wouldn't bait an eye, he doesn't care about humans, about other gods - except for his beloved, Persephone and his Brother. You and Persephone are the only ones who would make Hades go against his brother, against everything he worked so hard to maintain. Hades has no limitation when the topic were the two of you. Even if he wasn't in a romantic relationship with Persephone, this would be the same. You, bless your soul, already knew about his completely devotion - First of all, he never tried to hide it. Anubis, Thanatos and other gods associated with death noticed his demanour since the beginning. [And Thanatos is oblivious as fish swimming in the sea.] Not only that, but also: Loki RUINED your outfit, Hermes had to get you to the underworld - you were so close to breaking down in front of Loki...

This whole event was too much for you, especially because Hermes wouldn't let you interact with him. You had to go to Hades's room and already saw him, he was just with his pant while he seemed to be a bit... Tired, but, he just needed to look at you to have a smile.

"My beloved... What a pleasure seeing you" He looked at you and got closer, taking your hand after seeing the ruined outfit and the dirt, he was immediately pissed "What happened? Who did this to you?"

You couldn't bring yourself to answer him properly, your words were left to nothing as you sobbed, the gibberish you were saying didn't make him understand what was happening, but he knew that you needed a hug... And a bath.

"Come on, my beautiful wife... Let's take a bath"

Hades would spend his whole time just bathing you, hearing you spill your heart to him, telling him about everything that has gone wrong... And he would tell you how amazing you were, how strong you were and to praise you as you continued your story. Only when you were finished telling him everything, he would start to clean you up, he would dare to pick a cloth for you, he would just carry you - again - to his room and lay you down to the bed.

"My wife... Would you like me to sing you praises?" He always said that before going at you... And, as anyone would say. You just nodded. He was imediately, holding your thighs, letting space for him to be in between them "If you want to stop, just say 'Stop', okay? I wouldn't want to overwhelm you." He was always sweet, he always putted your own pleasure as his top priority... He didn't care if he didn't have a shot, if he didn't touch himself... He could be satisfied with just making you feel pleasure.

He started as always, kissing your clit as one of his hand started to do circles through your entrance until he started to push his fingers in and out, he was relief at hearing your moans and pleads to be faster. He just gave anything that you asked him, he started sucking your clit as his fingers started to get faster. As a reflect, you imprisioned his face against your thighs, you felt like you could suffocate him - until you remembered that gods don't need to breath. Hades didn't even cared with how much your legs trembled as he guided you to a much deserved orgasm.

He drinked it, drinked and licked anything left. He - as always smiling and looking at you with pride and love - would just take of his gloves and touch your face. "Do you feel better, my love?" After losing your senses for a second or so, you could only rely on your lips reading to tell him Yes. He would lay at your side, holding your waist and softly caressing your cheeks. "You can sleep if you want to, my beloved wife... I will wait for you."

The day was too much for you... But at least, you would sleep peacefully with your husband at your side, hugging you as if you were close to disapear.

—— —͙ – -✰ The next posts will be: OC x Reader, ROR x Reader and Hazbin Hotel x Reader. Stay tunned <3 [Hazbin Hotel will include Oc's, but they are just there for plot - Since it will be a long fic.]

#x reader #reader insert #fem reader #x female reader #female reader #hades ror #record of ragnarok headcanons #record of ragnarok #record of ragnarok smut #x reader smut #smut #ror smut #hades smut #hades ror x reader #hades ror smut

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Fic Master List

(Banner gif done by the amazing @britonell)

My AO3 profile:

It’s all BG3!!!

Holy fuck people made art 🥹:

Drunk Batstarion by @britonell

Eleanor by @lyzelky

Eleanor and Astarion, sitting on a bench by @britonell once again 💜

Eleanors! by @shierke

Astarion is trying to flirt (critical fail) commissioned by @sasseffects and drawn/rendered/colored by @squirrelcurls and @vipermenace

Snippets:

Tiddy Cuddles - actually SFW. Batstarion never walks anywhere ever again when he can get uppies.

One Shots (All of them are rated E):

Stuffing - an entry for Wanksgiving 2023, sexually explicit. Ties into Feeding Alligators.

All I Want for Solstice - happy holidays 2023, have some fluffy smut! Eleanor tries to spread holiday cheer. Astarion tries to spread Eleanor's legs. Rated very much E for explicit sexual content. Technically a two-shot, but whatev.

Valentine’s Day Special - Roses are red, violets are blue, blah blah I’d like to fuck you. Or: Astarion bought a toy. Eleanor wants to give him a night he won’t forget. ASTARION GETS PEGGED.

You Could Just Ask - Astarion is terrible about communicating what he wants. But Eleanor is getting good at translating gremlin. ASTARION GETS PEGGED AGAIN. The man is a MENACE.

Something Full-Bodied and Red - Aunt Flo comes to visit Eleanor. Astarion is thrilled to make her acquaintance.

Feeding Alligators:

Turns out, it’s not heart disease that gets you. Not a car crash, the second coming, or even a plain old slip in the shower that removes you from this mortal coil. It’s motherfucking aliens. Your Uncle Randy would be so proud. Or: two losers cheat, stab, and flirt their way to a win.

Rated M for language, violence, and (very) eventual sexual content. Astarion/Named Tav with a backstory.

Updated every Wednesday and Saturday.

Chapter 1 - Naked and Afraid

Chapter 2 - Friendship is Magic

Chapter 3 - PANTS!

Chapter 4 - Man vs. Wild

Chapter 5 - First Blood

Chapter 6 - Skeletons!

Chapter 7 - Potion of Tongues

Chapter 8 - Mind Your Language

Chapter 9 - You're (not) a Wizard

Chapter 10 - Atelier

Chapter 11 - Murder Buddies

Chapter 12 - Hustle

Chapter 13 - Psycho

Chapter 14 - U.S. Foreign Policy

Chapter 15 - It's a Goddamn Cult

Chapter 16 - When Animals Attack

Chapter 17 - Panties!

Chapter 18 - Untitled Training Montage

Chapter 19 - Bite Night

Chapter 20 - The American Red Cross Association

Chapter 21 - I Got Better

Chapter 22 - Swamp People

Chapter 23 - Paranoia Agent

Chapter 24 - From Druids, With Love

Chapter 25 - Splitting Atoms

Chapter 26 - Gray's Anatomy

Chapter 27 - True Blood

Chapter 28 - The Art of War

Chapter 29 - Knives Out

Chapter 30 - Auntie Knows Best

Chapter 31 - The Bachelorette

Chapter 32 - Munchies

Chapter 33 - Dream Date

Chapter 34 - Fireside Chats

Chapter 35 - The Devil Wears Douchebag

Chapter 36 - Glee

Chapter 37 - Gaslight

Chapter 38 - Gatekeep

Chapter 39 - Girlboss

Chapter 40 - Mirror, Mirror

Chapter 41 - Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Chapter 42 - Slaughterhouse Four

Chapter 43 - The Proposition

Chapter 44 - Dance With the Devil in the Pale Moonlight (rating went up, new warnings apply).

Chapter 45 - Walk of Shame

Chapter 46 - Not Quiet on the Western Front

Chapter 47 - Soul Jar

Chapter 48 - Astarion and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Chapter 49 - Idihwisvsga

Chapter 50 - The Smallest Ember

Chapter 51 - I Lived Bitch

Chapter 52 - Only I Will Remain

Chapter 53 - Goblintown

Chapter 54 - Get Outta My Swamp

Chapter 55 - Love Shack

Chapter 56 - This Bitch

Chapter 57 - Let the Bodies Hit the Floor

Chapter 58 - Behind Enemy Lines

Chapter 59 - Plans Within Plans

Chapter 60 - 1812

Chapter 61 - It Compels You Though

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #fanfic #it's a goddamn isekai #i'm not sorry #no betas we die like men #astarion x tav #slow burn #eventual idiots in love #baldurs gate iii #bg3 #tav has backstory #plus size tav #demisexual tav #tavstarion #feeding alligators fic #astarion fanfic #modern girl in faerun

[confessionsofa-roleplayer]

OP of 741771196202418176 here to respond to some of the comment feedback to make something really clear from my confession.

Those of us who are 30 or older in the RPC, in fact, DO have some duty to be a good example to the younger members who are just joining. Even more so if we make our ages apparent. Showing anyone that we can be manipulated with the gifts of graphics or too many compliments is a bad thing in of itself, but I see it as even worse for anyone who is very notably younger than us.

Younger adults between the ages of 18 to about 26 can often sometimes be prone to more mistakes that many of us, and some of you commentors I have seen on other confessions with some of your specific opinions, would not be so forgiving of. Even admitting you let a kid, or anyone, with a talent for art buy your favor by making you free art isn't something many of us wouldn't do. It's embarrassing to admit you allowed someone use you in any ways to advance their own agendas.

And I made my confession from a point of having experienced being used in certain ways and seeing some other mutuals close to me get used by the same individual that was younger than us. When I had asked the younger individual about it their answer highlighted that they learned from the RPC it was easily "okay" to do what they were doing because it got what they wanted. They learned it from others, older and the same age as them, showing bad example or letting some of the immature tactics work on them.

I'm not asking anyone to patronize or babysit people younger than them in my confession. I'm pointing out that we need to be mindful and help them flourish in a way that we would be proud to call them a mutual or contact of some sort. You don't have to helicopter over them, but you do need to be bare minimum observant.

Mary Sue/Gary Stu characters are still very much a thing (though less hated), Covert Self Inserts can be very self damaging to the writer when either outed too late or kept hidden for too long, obsession with a fictional character ship can be very unhealthy, and bribery of any sort for interactions in a hobby is generally not okay. These are only some examples of things that we could see anywhere from anyone of any given age.

Watching for them in early stages to try and help someone if we became mutuals with them so they don't have a blow out later if things escalate past a recoverable point is what I'm asking for.

While some of you might say you're not here to make friends or what have you, this is a COMMUNICATION heavy hobby when it gets down to it. You always have the option and avenue to communicate with someone you're in contact with, and I think most of us would rather avoid a situation of being guilty by association if we just allow someone to spiral if it was something preventable in some way. Let alone just watch them spiral if we're involved with them closely in some way.

Referencing this post.

~ Mod MJ ~

#anonymous #answered

[insomniac-jay]

WIP Time

Chapter 3: Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

A lot was on the agenda today: rehersals, picking up dresses and shoes, getting hair and makeup done for tonight. Those could all wait until Monochrome was finished paying a visit to another friend of Helene and Felix's, one Mr. Roald van der Woodsen. Mona likened him to Dorian Grey--ungodly handsome on the outside, but horrifically ugly on the inside.

Law may have been his profession, but making passes at Mona, and just about any other attractive younger woman, was his passion. Roald's wandering eye found itself on Mona too many times for her liking. She avoided being alone with him and forbid him from ever touching her. The man was old enough to be her father making her more digusted by him.

Stealing from him was payback for everytime he settled his perverted eyes on her. Roald had plenty of magnificent paintings that'd look better in the homes of others or herself.

And this time, she had help.

Pushing open the doors to his sitting room, Monochrome snapped her fingers as two henchmen, Tint and Shade, appeared at her side. The pair released the robots to carefully take the original artworks out the frame and replaced them with black and white replicas.

"Get these outside to Neutral. Don't let van der Woodsen see you," Monochrome ordered.

"What about you?" Shade asked.

Monochrome gave them a wicked grin under her mask. "I'm going to pay him a personal visit."

Creeping her way through the manor to his office, careful not to make any noise, she found her way to his bedroom. Her steps slowed the closer she got.

Light poured out the crack to let Monochrome looked inside. Sure enough there was van der Woodsen and a young woman in his bed. Have mercy on that poor lady. Before she could strike, she heard the lawyer say something.

"I tried to hire some of his men, but he just laughed at me!"

Monochrome narrowed her eyes as she listened in. Pressing a button on her helmet, the conversation was recorded. Could this have to do with Francis's death?

"There's nothing to worry about, Helene. Everything's said and done now. Sad to see the boy go. Business is business though."

Balling her fist, Monochrome made her escape out a nearby window. Revenge would have to wait. For now, she needed answers to questions.

Mona looked at herself in the mirror. Dressed in an elegant white gown, this would be her first public appearance since Francis's death. While unsure if this was the way to go about it, she needed the money. Moreso now that a baby was coming.

"You look beautiful, madame." Salome stared in awe of her mistress.

"Thank you, Salome." Mona reached for one of her many purses to pull out a stack of cash. Then, she placed it in Salome's hand and closed it. "You can take the next month off. I know you've been wanting to visit your family again."

Salome's eyes widened. "Madame, I-"

"You've been at my service since you were 18. Relax and return to your family." Mona saw her younger self in the maid--a young woman trying to get by in the world.

Tears welled in Salome's eyes as she nodded. She walked to the door, stopping to face Mona one last time. "Thank you, mistress; and good luck."

Mr. Calhoun's estate was nothing short of amazing, packed, lively. Guests greeted her with bright smiles, handshakes, and even some kisses. Halle and Mamie soaked up every bit of attention they got, flirting with the sons of a few guests.

Mona searched around for the host. She didn't forget to bring her contraband. Art theft was just like traditional art. Getting buyers was the hardest part; even more if it was stolen. Hopefully selling them to Calhoun and his associates would bring in a profit or at least some money.

"Thirsty, Mrs. Beauvais?"

Mona mindlessly took the drink from the offering hand, thinking it was a server. "Mèsi."

"You, uh, told me you got some things you wanted to show me."

Mona's eyes widened realizing that Calhoun gave her the drink. Curse her for being so unaware! That was no way to treat host nor potential client. "My apologies! I was looking for you everywhere!"

Mona led him out a back door to where her car--which contained the stolen art--was. Calhoun called a few of his men to come and take the goods inside so he could look at them. He then handed her a large stack of money.

"What's this for?" Confused, but not complaining.

"You kept your word. I respect that." Putting an arm around her, he walked her back inside. They walked into the room where his associates waited. Mona did her best to hide nervousness. These weren't record executives or curators, these were crime bosses. Never did she think she'd be making deals, and money, with them.

Calhoun did most of the talking.

"Gentlemen, this is Mona Lisa Beauvais. She's got some stuff she wants to sell ya and myself. Can't hold her for too long, though, she's here to perform for my wife."

With the snap of his fingers, his men brought in the stuff. The bosses looked over each artpiece with keen detail. Some scratched their chins estimating the values of each in their head.

Twisting a bracelet, Mona waited in nervous patience.

@floof-ghostie @calciumcryptid @mayameanderings

#jay's writings

[simmingonthelow]

All for Macha for ask thingy 😎👉👉

Hiiiii Ash! 💖

1.What memory would your OC rather just forget?

The death of her sister. Its live RENT FREE in her poor head.

2.What's something about your OC that people wouldn't expect just from looking at them?

She loves the color pink. Contrary to her dress (which is symbolic) she's a PINK GIRLIE. I you went into her room you'd think it was someone else's room with the color palette being pink and cream,etc. Macha also loves cute things and aside from collecting are she also has an assortment of cute things that she's occasionally let her grands play with.

3.What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

Macha would do anything for her loved ones. I don't think she'd even thing twice about it.

4.When scared, does your OC fight, flee, freeze or fawn?

Scared or not if there's something to Fight above she will throw hands.

5.How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?

Very far. Macha actually like collecting art so she'd stop at nothing to get what she wanted (but she's always choose the less messy way first)

6.How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass?

Not easy at all. She's not one to bend what she believes in so you'll be begging a wall basically.

7.What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

Welllll, i would really say she changed but its more like she moved from just being the Queen and the mom of a sim i used to play with regulary to being a more indepth MACHA. Her character developement was slow but it was nice. I guess the change would be her moving from being a flat character(?)

8.Would your OC ostensibly be able to get away with murder?

Yup and with ease too cause who's gonna stop the Vampire Queen.

9.Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

"Right now? She a baddie she know she a ten!"- (In ha mood Ice spice) and also "And I see forever in your eyes I feel okay when I see you smile, smile"- (Dandelions Ruth B)

10.What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

An au where her mom never left and her big sister never died I guess😭

11.What is your OC's weapon of choice? Have they ever actually used it?

Her hands and legs are enough but if she really needed a weapon it would be a spear.

12.Is your OC self-destructive? In what ways?

She used to beat herself up about her past but now when switching of her feelings are a thing, things bother her less and less

13.If you met your OC, would the two of you get along?

Lmaoooooo, no. I think she'd be sick of me and how forgiving I am 🤣😩

14.How does your OC want to be seen by other characters?

Macha already passes off as a caring person to her family (and maybe even close friends) but to anyone else she want to look like someone to not trifle with, and she does.

15.Does your OC have a faceclaim? If so, who?

Nope I don't really think about real like face claims for my ocs

16.What is your OC's pain tolerance like?

This was ansered here

17.What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise?

Loosing her big sister 😭

18.Is your OC more cold and detached or up close and personal?

To persons she's close to she's close up and personal and the rest gets the cold part of her.

19.How does your OC behave when enraged?

Macha only gets enraged when people get physical and usually she'd let Rueben deal with such things but if she has to she'll get reall violent.

20.Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?

Macha is not one for jealousy. Rueben give her most if not all the attention so she never has the chance to be. With anyone else as long as they are happy with the persons around them, so is she.

21.Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it?

Macha: "Illnesses are for humans, sweety"

22.What character alignment would you consider your OC to be?

sooo I took a test for this cause i didn't remember what alignments were and i got neutral good and i guess that's who Macha is.

23.What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

Sadness. Macha spent enough time being sad but she doesn't know how to process it and would rather not feel anything when she's sad.

24.What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?

Maybe she'd be non- existent 💀 if you knew what the other path was

25.What is your favorite thing about your OC?

She made sure that the people around her don't lack the support that she did when she was younger.

#oc:macha #deen's scene #deen answers #oc ask game #this was alot but thanks a bunch #lilypixels

[theshenanijiang]

Ooh, Fan Boy is done with her shit and she knows it! Why he so hawt!? With his little smirky face while apologizing?

Zhang Chengling continues to be an absolute gem, picking up the guy in blue's hat and bringing it to him. Clique or sect as a translation is interesting. The Young Master "since you showed up here, if you don't mind, you're our guest." Good gravy he is just so earnest! Awww he reminded the guy of his old friend. Lovely.

Oh! So Fan Boy knows the moves guy in blue was using and connected it to the Four Seasons Manor. Interesting. I love how sassy disciple is like "Why haven't I heard of it" and he isn't listening anymore.

The sets are lush. I like this. The bridge is overgrown in such a nice way.

Ok. I already love this old man. I hope he lives.

Fan Boy has his own boat huh? Still love this old guy. "What do you mean go with you! This is my customer I made a deal first!"

"I'll eventually welcome you." With the smirk seems like... does he LIKE this guy?

I am waiting for the big reveal, rips his face off, "Fools! I have been hot all along!" Fan Boy: "I knew it!"

Hahahahha! This poor old man shoulda been a little more patient! There is a boat in the orchard. How strange.

"Boomerang FAN!" lol Nothing like the homoerotic experience of staring into your opponent's eyes while in hand-to-hand combat. Waaaaaaait.... They got the same moves? Someone gonna have to go get that hat later. Fan boy is a flirt! What's his name is rolling his eyes so much. "I see you are also a man who likes wine. Come drink with me on my boat." seems slick. "You said see you again. Here I am to see you!" Smiles like he is being clever. Zhou Zishu: eeeeyyyyyeeeeroooooolllllllll. "He's so good at flattery." Is an amazing response to all that.

Putting the kids on lockdown is almost never the answer, sir. Loooool they are putting him up in the woodshed?

BELT SWORD! Okay, but that is cool. Aw man. I like how he flicked the paper attack sand dollars back at them. The old sword man is the boat guy he stiffed? Seems legit.

Fan Boy gets the best entrance, sitting in a window. He is such a weird guy. Those smirks.

The old man and Zhou Zishu arguing like a married couple.

oh no.. nononononononono Zhang Chengling! Don't die!

She got the drop on him 🤣

Where did the nuts come from? And why are there nuts?

He do be removing heads left and right.

Oh no... that was hot. Starts fainting, gets caught, attacks, sword hug.

I love how everyone is like "Mr. Sick Man, your martial arts are good."

Dang it! All the old guys I like die! This old man really brokering an apprenticeship as he dies. Good for him. 18 generations of his ancestors? Interesting!

So fan boy's name is Wen Kexing. and main boy is going by Zhou Xu.

So my prediction is Wen Kexing and Zhou "Xu" are gonna be murder dads to Zhang Chengling now. And WKX is THRILLED with this plan. WKX really be like.. "Let me provide for you, big strong man." He also shuts his disciple up by shoving food in her mouth. I want to be like "Sir, it isn't cute..." But it is.. a little.

This family is little and messed up, but it is good. Big sister is mean though.

WKX: I hate to be associated with heroes.

Chengling get yourself some medical assistance, please!

#the shenanijiang watches #word of honor #episode 2

[blueeandyellowmakesgreen]

hello . its 1:49 am, i cant fucking sleep and i wanna overshare. lets do this

so when i was 18 my ex girlfriend and i were both artists who had a fair presence in the fandom where we first met. she was heaps much better than i was, a couple of months younger, and she was beloved by all of our mutual friends mostly because of it, and i was so proud she was mine. it got to a point where i was kind of living in her shadow, but i did my best to try to support her and compliment her bc god she really was amazing anyway, despite my own seeping insecurities. i remember supporting her a lot whenever she posted art.

but when i showed her my art, she didnt really react much. the best she could give me was an ‘aww, cute!’, but it honestly felt patronizing. i thought it was just me being paranoid about the whole thing, until she started pointing out things that felt wrong in my art, like how one strand of the char was on the wrong side or how the char had an extra finger. it felt worse that she worded in a way like she would to a child.

it was humiliating. i knew she probably was trying to help, but coming from her, it just felt really embarrassing and made me feel smaller, considering her skill. and when i tried communicating to her about it, she then said ‘aw it just be like that :( youll get better’. i felt even worse, but i didnt want conflict so i just said nothing.

then when i posted a christmas themed art of our fave ship back then and posted it, she told me ‘your recent art was so good, it almost made me ask you to match icons with me. almost.’

its like she was saying that my art was almost good enough for her to be associated with it. its like she was expecting me to be at her level in art before we could really be.. equals in that. anyway i broke up with her. she didnt seem bothered by it, and seemed to move on pretty fast. i dont know where she is.

idk im just trying to find the root of my insecurities of perfectionism in my art. i used to not give a fuck about what i draw and just post for the hell of it because in the end i was passionate about it. but now it just seems like the opposite, and now i have this obligation to make everything i make good or im not good in general.

maybe i did feel jealous. maybe i envied her skill and the way people swarmed over her art than they did mine. its the fact she enabled my insecurities and instead of trying to reassure me in a respectful way, she basically confirmed my doubts that, yeah, my art fucking sucks. unfortunately, it was brutal enough for me to start making grounds to improve.

i knew my art wasnt that good back then and until now, i know for a fact i am still learning and leagues behind certain artists. but at least im in a place in my life where im improving and moving forward.

#maybe ill make this a series. like mysterious girl facts about jade series #yeah

[wantbytaemin]

Hi! Hope this doesn't take too much of your time! 😅

3, 5, 13, 18, 23, 29, 30.

oh don’t be silly you of all people would know how much i love to talk 🥰 however this IS proving to be a much larger scale endeavour than i expected bc i did get a lot (or way more than i expected!) which i love so much but i am kinda sleepy atp and so apologies if it’s not as wordy or eloquent as it may have been otherwise!

3: A song that reminds you of summertime

already said view by shinee and that’s definitely theeee summer song to me but let’s add i’m on fire by bruce springsteen and i honestly couldn’t tell you why bc it’s literally not even a summer song i just associate it with summer sooo much like you’re home alone after a bonfire and you can’t even fall asleep with how hot it is but you’re not sure if it’s from the summer heat or the intensity of your desire. SO summer to me ❤️‍🔥

5: A song that needs to be played LOUD

like it by shinee!!! my number one song on 2023 wrapped and one that i will play SO loud it busts my ear drums and love it each time. i need that instrumental and those gorgeous angelic adlibs IN my headdddd it’s SO fucking GOOOOOD

13: One of your favorite 80’s songs

i said raspberry beret in an earlier ask and i wanna add another song i coincidentally also listened to today - pour some sugar on me by def leppard ! so good btw when they say they can’t get enough they’re not lying

18:A song from the year that you were born

i actually had to look this one up and got so pleasantly surprised when i saw fantasy by mariah carey!! 🦋💓 one of my fav mariah songs heheee

23: A song that you think everybody should listen to

adding on to the already mentioned freedom by beyoncé and eat your young by hozier i actually don’t think everybody should listen bc it will for sure make me lose my mind and start crying if i’m not in the right headspace so tread carefully but i also think it’s such a beautiful piece of lgbt art - send my love to john by rina sawayama about her friend’s formerly unaccepting mother finally accepting her son being gay. ik there’s a happy ending to the story but it’s so bittersweet in how it shapes you and your relationship to those around you but let me not get too into it! an absolutely gorgeous moving listen imo.

29: A song that you remember from your childhood

i remember so very little from my childhood jdksjdk but one of the first songs i remember listening to on the tv and asking my dad to replay over & over again was buttons by pussycat dolls i mean go figure! i was already 10 years old at that point but the only things i remember from before that are like croatian kids songs shdkdjdk

30: A song that reminds you of yourself

after the beep by tanerélle.. SO me literally every word but i shan’t get into it. let me just say it’s especially the ‘i can’t wait around baby not me’ part .. ouh she gets it

#ty 🩵 #ask game

[iwasforceedagainstmywill]

I posted 1,457 times in 2022

That's 1,457 more posts than 2021!

38 posts created (3%)

1,419 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@zeegeetee

@fanchengsgf

@funnytwittertweets

@a-republican-mind

I tagged 1,199 of my posts in 2022

Only 18% of my posts had no tags

#someone's art - 106 posts

#memes - 96 posts

#naruto - 88 posts

#twitter - 73 posts

#for some reason - 69 posts

#rottmnt - 68 posts

#humor - 53 posts

#pokemon - 50 posts

#rise of the tmnt - 41 posts

#kakashi hatake - 37 posts

Longest Tag: 114 characters

#i̶ ̶m̶e̶a̶n̶ ̶h̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶a̶l̶s̶o̶ ̶b̶l̶i̶n̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶e̶y̶e̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶a̶n̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶a̶l̶e̶

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

How I finesse Naruto lore

I imagine it like: Sand = Defense (still good defense wise) Gold = Offense/Defense and Iron Sand = Offense

The Third Kazekage and Shinki both have Iron Sand and because Third's dead and Shinki's young both in and out universe nobody knows what Iron Sand is best with. I say offense because it counters(?) parallels Gaara who is known for his Ultimate Defense

Rasa (The Fourth Kazekage) seems to be specifically known for his Gold/Magnet Release and he stated he used to use it so Gaara/Shukaku couldn't use their sand because it was too heavy (which is kinda weird because Gaara apparently also has magnet release I'll get back to that later)

Okay so Rasa counters the Defense, that doesn't give me squarely offensive and in itself seems defensive, so half in half.

So you remember when Gaara's sand did this? Replicate his Mother.

I feel like this can be interpreted in multiple ways.

Kurura's love literally is so strong it can influence the sand to protect her son (rip to Temari and Kankuro I guess). So the sand in a way has a mind on it's own. (Canon, I think)

It's not Kurura at all, it's Gaara (subconsciously of course) he's always associated his Mother with protection even when it was Shukaku lying to him , he still called him "Mother". So basically the sand follows emotion.

(That's all I got)

Back tracking to Gaara's Magnet Release. It's described as Sparkling Metallic Sand I've always visualized it as silver but recently changed it to rose gold (because Rasa uses gold that's all) although realistically it's probably just sand colored. Anyway the Sand being rose gold explains why Gaara wouldn't be able to counter his Dad's gold dust by lifting it, if their Magnet Release is for different metals neither can truly get the upper hand.

Jumping back on subject.

Going with 2. Let's apply that (logic?) to all sand users specifically Shinki. The iron sand reacts to his emotions, it spikes when he's nervous or feels threatened, shifts a little or makes shapes when he's happy and Shields, Domes, Hands and Gaara when he's scared.

Yep that's what I said Gaara, just like Gaara with his sand mother Shinki can create Gaara out of his iron sand subconsciously simply because he equates Gaara with being protected.

After all He taught him how to use his sand, protected him even from little things (bugs, bad dreams the like ), raised him, and he is known for having the ultimate defense so his logic's pretty sound.

I feel think it would only present that way when Gaara isn't around meaning Gaara only knows about the shields and domes he taught him and the hands he makes sometimes.

(Random note Kankuro has seen it and he thinks it's adorable he's told nobody under the threat he'll no longer be the boy's favorite Uncle)

Unlike Sand Kurura, Iron Sand Gaara looks mildly annoyed depending on the situation as he's face changes ever so slightly i.e usually calm but irritated in high stress scenarios.

TLDR: I explain my personal thoughts on the Sand Kekkei Genkai of the Kazekages and Shinki to then elaborate that Shinki associates Gaara with defense and safety.

29 notes - Posted September 4, 2022

#4

Basic Megaman X fan with ZX: Oh no Zero doesn't remember X 😢

People of culture with ZX: Where is our boy, Axl? WHERE IS OUR SON?!

31 notes - Posted August 31, 2022

#3

So I looked up why "Your mother wears combat boots" was an insult...

Anyway 2012 Donatello called that Krang's Mom a prostitute

Specifically in a way it'd understand "The one who is called your mother wears the boots that are made for combat"

43 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

#2

Whether you look at them through a romantic or platonic lense Jessie and James from Team Rocket are PEAK relationship.

(They relationship is canonically of platonic)

That is all.

You know I'm right

96 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Dragon Speech

Dragons are much more affectionate in their language. When talking about the ones they love, dragons often add a chosen nickname to their name.

Note: These are (in universe) loose translations. And also how I'd write it.

Toothless has less a term and more so a tone as an he says Hiccup with a fond treble. He sometimes parrots back Hiccup's "Bud" with the same previously stated tone though it's more so translates to "Buddy"

Hookfang calls Snotlout something that either means "Fireball" or "Dud" depending on context.

Stormfly term for Astrid translates to "Astrid Dear" the term being at the end of Astrid's name.

Meatlug calls Fishlegs "Honey" similar to how an older woman may call someone such.

Barf and Belch have differing terms for Ruffnut and Tuffnut. Barf says "Ruff darling" and "Tuff dearest" and Belch calls them "Treasure Nut" for Ruffnut and "Cherish nut" for Tuffnut

"Soul Mate" is a term used by dragons to describe an exceptionally close Flock-mate. (I was going to say or mate but it seems dragon's don't commonly mate for life.

Meatlug says it the most with Fishlegs, Toothless uses it consistently for Hiccup, Barf and Belch use it for the twins often and Stormfly calls Astrid her soul mate as often as Barf and Belch do. Hookfang uses the term a little less.

Friendly reminder that Soul mate is NOT inherently romantic.

114 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[phantomfitzroy]

I got caught and tagged like a wild animal by @cromerholt AND @noellevanious :-) quastions time

Are you named after anyone? Technically yes. When I listened to TAZ:Graduation I was really caught on Fitzroy Maplecourt, Knight in Absentia to the realm of Goodcastle 's name for some reason. Don't get me wrong, Griffin made a very fun character but I really don't associate my attachment to the name to him at all. It was more like inspiration, you know? Also my middle name, Aleksandr, is from an old ass youtuber I used to watch religiously in high school. If you know you know. I still use it as a first name, though, Fitz and Aleks are both good names I will respond to. Fun fact, my best friend called me Aleks through our junior/high school before I knew I was trans. I guess it just stuck.

When was the last time you cried? Yesterday. I watched a vid of an older woman with Alzheimer's talking with her daughter. She repeatedly asked her daughter to stop calling her mom, which did get to me, but what got to me most was her gradually remembering her daughter as the video went on while she looked at old photos and trinkets from her past. It really got to me.

Do you have kids? Nope :-) I fluctuate between not wanting kids and maybe wanting kids. I'm sure I'll have a better idea when I'm older and actually can take care of myself first.

What sports do you play/have you played? I used to play basketball in junior high. Also if you count marching band? Our director had us doing laps around the football field before practice and shit.

Do you use sarcasm? A very hesitant yes. I hardly use it, the closest I could say I get to sarcasm most of the time is just telling silly lies to people, but there's never any ill will behind it ever. I just like seeing what I can get people to believe, but I always let people know I lied after.

What's the first thing you notice about someone? In a physical sense their smile. I'm drawn to people's mouths for some reason. But in a broader sense the first thing I notice is usually the way they interact with other people.

Eye color? Hazel. I've got this cool ring of orangeish gold around my pupils.

Scary movies or happy endings? Depends on the day. I usually like scary movies though. As long as the ending is satisfying, it doesn't have to be happy for me to have enjoyed the experience.

Any talents? I don't like talking myself up but I am pretty good at acting and singing. Admittedly, I think I'm a better singer now than before my voice dropped from HRT.

Where were you born? Midwest. Minnesota. You're not getting anything closer than that, I shant dox myself.

Hobbies? Art. I draw and have been trying to get back into painting. I also technically do theatre as a hobby currently, since I don't get paid for the performances I'm in. And viddy games :-)

Any pets? I do not legally have pets, at least not in my own home, but I consider my dad's dogs my dogs since I take care of them as much (if not more) than they do lmao. Also one of my mom's dogs is technically mine, since I did pay for him when we got him, but I haven't been able to have pets anywhere I've lived since I moved out so he stays with my momma.

Height? 5'4"... I thought I was 5'5" until I was 18 years old.

Favorite school subject? I liked most science classes in school. The graphic design class I took in high school was fuckin awesome. Currently, though, I'm trying to teach myself to code and I'm enjoying that immensely.

Dream job? Professional acting!! Ideally I'd do live theatre, musical or otherwise. But I think I'd also be happy doing film. I would also be very happy as a live theatre director, though I'd need more experience directing first. I would also love love love to be a part of a professional improv troupe. Because I'm a dweeb. And good at improv.

Now I get to tag people. @genderkiller @gravellymistaken @nilovalentine @thesexiestlobster if you guy wanna do this :-) also anyone else who wants to, this was fun smiles

[kaymd0313]

Chapter Seventeen: Dance and a Story

Warnings: Angst, Language, Smoking Weed, Some backstory of y/n, Mentions of death, Mentions of neglect, Drinking, Mentions of disease, Mentions of Cheating.

MINORS DNI

Authors Note: To date this is my 2nd longest chapter at a whopping 5k words. Chapter 18 is much longer, much much longer. So enjoy <3

It had been about two weeks since me and Eddie talked. Everything had been going really well. Even though we have both admitted our love for each other I don’t think we’re actually official. And to be honest it’s kind of tearing me apart. 

I walked down the hall towards my locker with Robin by my side.

“God this dance is going to be so lame!” she said.

“Huh?” I said as I opened my locker. A piece of paper fell out and I snatched it up and put it in my pocket as she kept rambling.

“It’s stupid honestly, like who wants to dance to music that a middle aged man deemed appropriate? They always have bad taste.”

“Hey,” I interjected, “My dad is middle aged and has great taste in music. Thank you very much!”

As I said that she walked across the hall to a poster that was for the dance. She looked at it for a second before ripping it down and crumpling it up.

“You know, maybe a certain someone would go with you.” I said as I pointed down the hall towards Vickie.

“Ugh c’mon y/n, I don’t even know if she’s like that.”

“Well, you’ll never know if you don’t ask.” I closed my locker and walked to class, leaving Robin to gawk at Vickie.

Once I got to class I took my usual spot by the window. I reached in my back pocket and grabbed the piece of paper that had basically been screaming at me to look at it. I opened up my trapper keeper and spread the note out cause I could tell it was crumpled up before it was somewhat folded neatly.

“Meet me at the picnic tables during lunch, please!”

Signed with an E and a little heart that honestly looked like, I don’t even know what.

So throughout Math I stared out the window wondering what he wanted. Also why must our form of communication be through notes? He obviously knows where my locker is, so why couldn’t he just wait there.

The next few classes went by so slow. Only of course cause I was waiting for lunch to come around. Watching the clock literally tick by. 

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

God Damn it!

I was sitting in English when the teacher caught my attention with one word, “Dracula”. So that’s when I started to pay attention. 

“For the next few weeks we will be reading this amazing work of art.” she exclaimed.

“It was written by Bram Stoker. It has 27 chapters, and by the end of the book you will be writing a 2 page essay on the book. I will clarify more on the essay the closer we get to the end of the book.”

To say the least I was intrigued. You would always hear stories about Dracula and his association with Halloween. Honestly anything strange and unusual always piqued my interest. I myself was strange and unusual apparently.

“This week, we’ll be reading up to chapter 5 and doing some discussing and maybe even some fun activities.”

This woman was way too excited about Dracula. Almost thought she was going to cream her pants there for a second. 

By the end of the class I had already gotten to chapter 3 whilst the class was slowly reading all together. I don’t like reading slowly. I think that the teacher thought we were all too dumb to understand the complexity of the literature, but this was AP English. I think we get it.

As soon as the bell rang I grabbed Dracula and walked out of the room. All the little kids were running towards the lunch room. Shit, honestly I forgot, with how worked up that lady was getting.

I jogged to my locker, put my things away, grabbed my lunch and headed out the back doors towards the picnic tables. 

As I got to the tree line I looked in my lunch bag and grabbed out the orange I packed this morning. I started peeling it as I was walking. Letting the peels hit the ground. As I reached the table I saw one singular balloon with a paper attached to it and a rock on top to weigh it down.

Now I’ll admit, this seems creepy as hell. I popped an orange slice into my mouth and slowly made my way up to the table. On the envelope was my name written in very pretty cursive. I looked around, because this made me feel super uneasy. It was way too pretty to be Eddie's handwriting. 

“Eddie, if you’re out here, come here. This is creepy!” I yelled.

Nothing.

Eddie’s POV

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why won’t she just grab it? Why is it creepy? 

I’m not coming out, I want to see her reaction. I don’t really do stuff like this. I asked Chrissy to write the note for me so it would look better than my chicken scratch handwriting.

I saw her walk up to the note again and turn and walk away. She didn’t take it with her. She just left it there. God damn it. I try to do something cute and nice and she thinks it’s too “Creepy”. 

Fuck. I went up to the note and grabbed the balloon and the note and started walking back towards the school. 

Once I got up to the school I went into the lunchroom so I could give her the note. I really didn’t want to do this in front of everyone. I wanted her to open it then I would come out and give her a hug and kiss and the other gifts I had in my bag.

I scanned her usual tables that she sat at and I didn’t see her. So I walked up to the Hellfire table and looked at the guys. I told them what I was going to be doing during lunch so they looked surprised when I walked up.

“Did she reject you?” Gareth asked.

“Not necessarily, she didn’t even pick up the note.” I looked around and still couldn’t find her. “Have you guys seen her, like has she come in here?”

“Well, we weren’t really looking for her so….” Jeff said with a shrug of his shoulders.

I continued to look around when all of a sudden I saw Robin walk in.

“I might be back.” I said as I walked away from the guys and approached her.

“Hey Robin, uh, do you know where y/n is?”

She looked a little apprehensive to tell me.

“I think she went home, she seemed a little on edge. She wouldn't really tell me much.” she said as she walked to her table.

I looked out the windows towards the parking lot and decided to go look for her car.

I went to her usual spot and didn’t see her car. So I scanned the parking lot just in case she happened to park somewhere else.

Nothing.

So I pulled my keys out of my pocket, balloon and note in hand and got in my van and made my way to her house.

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N POV

I’m not sure why that random balloon made me so fucking paranoid. I walked up the steps and walked in my room and sat down at my vanity. I looked at myself in the mirror and rubbed my face to try and shake the feeling away.

I took my jewelry off and decided to take a shower. So I grabbed some clothes and walked into my bathroom and started the shower.

When I started washing my hair I heard a door close. My dad must be home early. He’s probably going to be annoyed that I left school early, so I already started to figure out what lie I was gonna tell him. I couldn’t just tell him that I got creeped out by a balloon and came home.

I got out of the shower and got dressed and walked out into my room.

I was frozen in place.

 The balloon was there right above my bed with the note right below it sitting in the middle of the mattress. 

“What the actual fuck!” I yelled.

I ran to my door and ran down the stairs to my dad’s room to see if he was there. I opened the door and nobody was there.

“Y/n you okay?”

I whipped my head around and saw Eddie standing there.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“You didn’t open my letter,” he said.

“Jesus Christ Eddie! You put that up there in my room? Wait, how did you get in here? Were you there in the woods? If so, why didn’t you come out when I asked for you?”

He walked up to me and put his hands on my shoulders.

“Love you need to breathe, you’re freaking out on me here.”

“No shit I’m freaking out Eddie! You left that damn balloon in the woods, and when I get out of the shower it’s just floating above my bed. You mean to tell me you wouldn’t freak out?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to creep you out.” he said as he lowered his hands to his side. “I was just trying to do something cute for you.”

“Eddie….”

“Look, come upstairs, and I’ll explain. Please?”

He looked so disappointed. I didn’t know that he was trying to do something. He should’ve come out when I called him in the woods. Then we wouldn’t be in this situation. 

We walked up the stairs and into my room. I looked at the balloon and he grabbed it. He reached down for the note and handed it to me.

“Open it.”

“Eddie, this isn’t your handwriting.”

“I know, I got Chrissy to write it for me the other day. So it would be pretty and so you could read it.” He said with a light chuckle.

“Do you understand why I found this creepy? A single balloon, handwriting I didn’t recognize, nobody coming out when I called? It freaked me out.”

“I guess I get it. But I didn’t mean for it to be like that. Just open the letter. Please.”

I grabbed the note from his hand and proceeded to open it. I pulled the paper out glanced over it then glanced up at Eddie.

“Read it. Out loud.”

“The last few months have been a little hectic, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. And I know that I’ve been a huge jerk for most of the time we’ve known each other.”

 I looked at him, “Bit of an understatement.” I said with a smart look and a smile.

“I don’t do all this sappy stuff much or really conform to society’s festivities, but I’m graduating and I can’t not do this when I know I have someone I can do it with.”

“It then says to turn around and look for you, I’m assuming this was supposed to happen in the woods so I’ll play along.”

I turned away from Eddie and then turned back to face him.

“Y/n would you please do me the extreme honor of going to the Winter Formal with me?” he said.

“Hmmm, well, let’s see, you’ve creeped me out today, which is not going well in your favor.” I started to walk around the room. I quickly spun on my heel and faced him.

“And also, I don’t really do dances Eddie. I don’t think I even own a dress that's good for a dance. I know I could buy one but they’re very uncomfortable.” I put my finger on my chin and started tapping my chin.

“Very hard for me to decide, but this is your last year, and apparently the only dance you would have ever attended. Hmmm, such a hard choice.”

I turned around by this point and started to look out the window. I all of a sudden felt arms wrap around my waist.

“So….what’s your answer, since you’ve fully pondered the situation.”

I pulled away and turned around. “Hmmm, I would love to see you in a suit. So….I guess so.”

He grabbed me by the waist and lifted me up and spun me around. He put me down and grabbed my face.

“You have made me the happiest man in the world.”

He then leaned in to kiss me, and I swear the world stopped. 

He pulled away with my face still in his hands.

“I have some things for you, I’ll be right back.”

He gave me a peck on the lips and ran out of the room.

I walked over to my bed and grabbed the balloon and sat on the edge of the bed looking at it.

I’ve never been to a dance before, not a father or daughter dance, no formal, no prom, nothing.

I was already stressing about this, holy fuck. What color dress would I wear? What would I do with my hair? What shoes would I wear? How would my makeup look?

I never really had to worry about these types of girly things before. But this boy has got me in a fucking frenzy.

I heard the front door close and some footsteps coming up the stairs.

He came back in the room with his shit eating grin and a backpack that looked stuffed to the brim.

“Now what do you have in there?”

“Gifts galore sweetheart!”

He unzipped the bag and pulled out something wrapped in newspaper.

“Here you go doll, first gift.”

I grabbed it out of his hands and sat it in my lap and started to unwrap it. It looked like a shirt so I lifted it up and looked at it.

“A plain white shirt with black sleeves….interesting.”

“Turn it around.” He said with a light laugh.

I turned it around and on the front was the Hellfire logo.

“A Hellfire shirt.” I said as I looked at him with a confused look.

“It’s the one I wore last year, and this year so far. I thought you….might want it….the guys think I should wear a new one. If you don’t want it, that’s fine.” he said as he looked down at his lap with his hands in his lap.

“I love it. I wear it to sleep.”

I slid off the bed to meet him on the floor. I grabbed his face to make him look at me.

“Really, Eddie, I love it.”

“Really? You sure?”

“Yes Eddie.” I paused, “What else you got in there for me?”

He looked in his bag and moved some things around. 

“Alright, gonna start off a bit simple.”

He grabbed a small Folgers can and handed it to me.

“Coffee?.....Thanks, I guess.”

“Nuh-Uh, open it.”

I pulled it closer to me and took off the lid.

“Holy shit….Eddie, I can’t take this. This is way too much.” I said as I put the lid back on and started to hand it back.

“No, no, no. It’s fine.” he said as he pushed it back.

I looked at it and opened the lid. I couldn’t believe how much fucking weed was in there.

“Eddie, at least let me pay for it. I don’t want to take this much without paying you.”

“Don’t worry doll you can pay me back later.” he said with a wink and a smile.

I smiled and sat the can by my side. He reached in his bag again and pulled out a plastic bag filled to the brim.

“Here ya go.” he said as he started to rummage in his bag again.

“Jesus Christ Eddie, are you trying to make me fat, or a sugar coma, or diabetes, or my first cavity? I've gone 19 years without a cavity, I’m not starting now!”

“You haven’t had a cavity? I’ve had 11.” He said with a huge grin on his face, showing off his teeth.

I laughed and looked down at my hands.

“Something wrong sweetheart?”

“It’s just, I never, really had anyone give me gifts, that wasn’t my family at least. I really appreciate this Eddie. I really do.”

“Well sweetheart, there's more to come, also, I bought two of each, so half of that is mine.”

The bag seemed mainly empty by now. The bag of candy took up the most space.

He handed me a small velvet bag. It looked like one of the ones that held his dice for DnD.

“It’s not much but, I thought you would like it.” he said under his breath.

I grabbed it out of his hands and held it for a second. I felt the velvet between my fingers and felt something small inside. I undid the drawstring and pulled it open. I tilted it upside down and a chain fell out. I picked it up and looked at it, it was a silver, small chain. It was so small and beautiful. I pulled it up and looked at it.

“Oh Eddie, it’s beautiful.”

I held the chain with one hand and used my other to reach for the charm. I put it in my palm and let the chain fall.

I looked up at Eddie. He had pulled his hair in front of his face. I could tell that he was nervous.

I looked down to my hand and grabbed the uppercase E and held it out to him.

“Will you put it on me?”

He let go of his hair and grabbed the necklace.

“Turn around love.”

“Yes Sir.” I said with a smile, then turned away from him.

I saw the chain come into view then watched it slowly lower to my neck. Once it was clasped I heard Eddie whisper, “Gotcha.”

I reached down and touched the E resting on my collar bone. I immediately turned back to Eddie and grabbed his face.

“I love you Edward Munson.” I said as I leaned in to kiss him.

I pulled away and his eyes were still closed. I let out a light giggle and tapped him. He opened his eyes and smiled at me.

“So, I’m guessing that since you wanted it on, that means you’re mine.” he said as he started to pull his hair in front of his mouth.

“Eddie, I’ve been yours for a long time. We just haven’t made it official. And I guess this makes it official.” I said with a light smile to him.

“So that means, I can….you know….like show you off and stuff?”

I grabbed his hand so he would let go of his hair.

“Yes Eddie, you can show me off. And stuff.” I said with a light chuckle.

Me and Eddie spent the rest of the night talking to each other about the dance. We decided to smoke some of the weed he gave me. 

We ended up laying on my bed eating candy and holding each other. About 30 minutes after we finished smoking my dad came home. He came up the stairs and knocked on my door.

“Y/n, you there?”

“Yea dad.”

“Can I come in, I need to talk to you.”

I let out a long sigh. “Yea sure dad.”

I sat up and Eddie continued to lay there. He was already drifting in and out of sleep with a Milky Way in his hand.

My dad walked in and noticed Eddie.

“Oh, I didn’t know you had a guest.”

Eddie turned his head and looked at my dad and waved, then laid his head back on the pillow.

“Hey kid,” he said with a slight wave. “Can you come out here so I can talk to you in private?”

“Dad, whatever it is, just talk to me in here.”

He mouthed to me, “It’s about your mom.”

I practically jumped off the bed and led him out the room.

We walked down to the end of the hall.

“I know the anniversary of her death is coming up, and I just wanted to see how you’re holding up.”

I was silent, I didn’t even realize how soon that was. I usually handled it well, maybe a couple cries here and there, but it was my dad I had to worry about. He would always binge drink. Last year it got so bad that I had to take him to the hospital because he was throwing up blood.

“I think I’ll be fine, I’m more worried about you. Are you going to be okay? ….That’s what I’m worried about.”

He lowered his head and brought his hands up to his face.

“Dad, I want to help you.” I said as I reached out to him.

He grabbed me and pulled me in for a hug and started sobbing.

My mom was the love of this man's life. When she died, it was the worst thing that ever happened to him, and this man has been through some shit.

“Dad, let me help. I’ll get rid of all the booze and liquor. Just let me help prevent what happened last year. I can’t do that again.” The tears had started to well up in my eyes. I wanted to be strong from him, but I kept getting flashbacks of last year. Him throwing things, things that my mother treasured. Screaming at me because I looked too much like her. It broke my heart. Him yelling her name in his sleep. I just couldn’t and wouldn’t do it again.

I pulled away from him and took his face in my hands, “Dad….please.”

He started nodding and pulled me back in for the tightest hug I’ve gotten since she died.

I pulled away from him and looked at him, “One last drink? I’ll make it for you.”

He nodded as I took his hand and led him down the stairs.

We got to the kitchen and he sat down at the table as I made him his favorite drink, Whiskey on the rocks. When I was done I handed it to him and sat with him. He completely downed it. I grabbed the glass and put it in the sink.

 I went to the garage and grabbed a random crate that we had and came back inside. There was already a line of bottles on the counter.

“These were the ones that were hidden.” he said with an ashamed look on his face.

“I’m proud of you dad, I really am. I hope you know that.”

He nodded. I started to put them in the crate and then went to the cabinet and got the rest.

“I’m going to put these up in my room, and throw them away tomorrow. So, don’t go looking for them.”

He started to walk to his room as I walked up the stairs. I walked into my room with the crate and I saw Eddie sitting up in my bed.

“Everything okay doll?”

“Uh….yea I guess.”

I sat the crate down and grabbed a candy bar out of the bag. I walked over to my bed and sat next to him.

“You know you can talk to me right?”

I looked at the candy bar in my hands and didn’t say anything. I was in a weird state of mind right now. I was high, which was supposed to make me feel great, but I was also stressed and sad because of what just happened. I haven’t really talked to anyone outside of my family about my mom, or my dads problems.

I looked up at Eddie and saw in his eyes that he wanted me to tell him, but I don’t know if I was ready. I know I should probably tell him, so he would understand if I shut him out when that day comes. Yet, it’s just so hard to tell someone those things.

“I’d rather talk about it when I have a clear mind, if that makes sense.”

He nodded. He grabbed me in his arms and pulled me over to lay with him.

Eddie’s POV

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I looked at her laying in front of me and saw nothing.

No emotion

No thoughts

Nothing

It hurt to see her like that. I grabbed the candy bar that she was definitely melting by now and put it on her nightstand closest to me.

I turned back over and grabbed her face and kissed her forehead, then her eyes, her cheeks, then her lips. She didn’t kiss me back. She just laid there numb. Completely shut off from the world. She was definitely in her head. What she was doing there, I have no idea.

I pulled her closer to me, and I’m glad she didn’t pull away.

“Go to sleep, love.” I told her.

She nuzzled her face into my neck and passed out within five minutes.

After about an hour, I couldn’t fall asleep. So I slowly got up trying not to wake her up. Once I got up, I went to the bathroom and then headed downstairs. Munchies were kicking in and I wasn’t going to eat another candy bar.

When I got to the kitchen, I saw her dad sitting at the table. His head was down and a glass of water in front of him.

I walked up to the fridge and opened it.

I heard him make a noise so I turned to him.

“Damn boy, you scared me there.”

“Sorry sir.”

“How is she?”

“She’s sleeping. Has been for about an hour.”

He let out a sigh.

“It’s always been hard for her.”

“She….um, hasn’t told me what it’s about. Just so you know.”

“Oh….I thought she would. I do have a question for you though, if you don’t mind son.”

I nodded.

“Are you two, like a thing?”

“As of today, yes, yes we are.” I said with a smile as I continued to look in the fridge.

He cleared his throat, “Well, if you hurt her….”

I popped up, “No! I would never, could never.”

“I said the same thing about her mom….”

“If I may,” I said as I sat down at the table, “I love your daughter, have since I laid eyes on her. If I ever did anything to hurt her….I couldn’t live with myself.”

“Son, I’m barely living with myself. A whole year after it happened I couldn’t look at y/n. That was the dumbest thing I could ever do. She completely shut me off. I hurt her, just like I did last year.” he looked down at his hands. “I won’t get into detail cause you deserve to hear it from her, but, I haven’t been the best father, and I want to change that.”

I looked down at my lap and then back up at him.

“I asked her to the dance, and she said yes. So I’ll be taking her to the formal next month. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Next month, that’ll be great. It’ll keep her mind occupied.”

All of a sudden we heard footsteps so we both whipped our heads to the stairs. She turned the corner and there she was. Her hair was all a mess and she still looked numb.

“What’s going on?” she let out in a sleepy tone.

“Just talking about the dance Ed asked you to.”

“Oh….yea.” she said as she walked up to the fridge.

“If you guys are hungry I can order some food.”

I turned to y/n where she was still looking in the fridge.

“Hun, you hear me?”

“Uh, yea dad I hear ya. Just thirsty right now.”

She grabbed a coke and turned to us as she opened it.

“You hungry Eds?” she asked as she took a sip.

I nodded. I hate that she looked so lost, it was slowly breaking me.

“I could go for chinese or pizza, whichever, you can pick.”

“Chinese is fine.” I said as I turned to her dad.

“On it. What would you like, son?”

“Lo mein.”

“Usual for you sweetheart?”

She nodded her head. Her dad was off to the living room where the phone was.

“Come here love.” I said as I held out my arm for her.

She walked over and sat in my lap.

“Doll?”

She let out a light hum.

“I want you to talk to me. I feel like I’ve lost you here. I just got you, and now….I see nothing.”

She dropped her head on my shoulder.

“After we eat please? I can’t right now. I’m too tired.”

“That’s okay love.” I said as I rubbed her back and just let her sit there.

After a while the food arrived and we all ate together at the table. It felt really nice, her dad was trying to start conversations, but she would just hum or nod with answers.

As I ate I watched her mindlessly eat her food. Her dad got done eating before we did. He got up, threw his things away and gave her a kiss on the head and went to bed. I finished next and threw my things away. When I got back to the table she was pushing around her food.

“Do you want the rest of this?” she asked me.

“No, I’m good hun.”

She gave a quick smile, then got up to throw her food away. She came back to the table and sat across from me. She put her hands on the table then laid her head down on top of them.

I scooted closer to her and put my hand on her lower back and started rubbing my hand in small circles. 

“Can we go lay down?” she asked me.

“Of course.”

We got up and went up to her room. She laid down first and then I laid down next to her. I pulled her closer to me so I could look at her better.

She had her head in my chest but I needed to look at her. I lifted her face to look at me.

“Please talk to me.”

 She looked to the side and sighed. She sat up fully and I sat up with her.

She faced forward and didn’t look at me.

“When I was 10 my dad had to go on a business trip for a few months….across the country. My mom got lonely. So she went out and fucked any man that would deem her beautiful. When my dad finally came back….she started to get sick. Really frail and just not good. My dad was worried it was cancer or something. My mom hated doctors so she passed it off as her being sick and that my dad should just give her a few weeks to feel better.” she paused and let out a slight chuckle. She then took a deep breath then let the air out quickly with a loud sigh.

“Weeks turned into months, which then ended up being a year. My dad was fed up and finally convinced her to go to the doctor. They ran a few tests and when the results came back the doctor told her she had AIDS. Both my mom and dad were very confused. They put her on this medication called Zidovudine or AZT. That’s what they called it at least. When they got home they had all these pamphlets about reasons why she could get it and ways to help with the symptoms. When my dad read all the reasons, he was sure she was doing drugs. He never would’ve thought she would cheat on him.” 

She stopped to finally look at me.

“But she did.”

I looked down at her lap and she was picking at her nails, so I grabbed her hands and held them in mine. When I did this she turned her body towards me.

“So a few years went by, and the medicine was helping with not letting the AIDS spread or get worse. But she was still frail and sick. She was constantly in and out of the hospital with pneumonia. Towards the end of November in ‘79 she was put in the hospital again, and that was the last time she ever went to the hospital. She was there for about two weeks. My dad and I were home when we got the call that she wasn’t in the best condition and she didn’t have much time. We rushed to the hospital and we didn’t leave her side. She felt that she needed to come clean. So she told my dad about her cheating.”

She whipped her head up at me and I could see the tears in her eyes.

“She didn’t have the nerve to tell him until she was on her deathbed.”

She looked back down and started messing with my rings.

“She was a great mom, and I understand that people get lonely, but she should’ve just told my dad as soon as she found out. She was a coward for not telling him. This man gave her everything she could ever want. A nice house, money to spend….and me.” she said with a weak smile.

I didn’t know how to process all of this. This girl that seemed so fun and bubbly had her world completely crumble at 13 years old. She was so optimistic and full of life, I don’t see how she had such a positive outlook. At least until today. Now I see nothing. I don’t see that girl. I see a broken lost little girl. That little girl that lost her mom so many years ago.

“I….I don’t know what to say.” I mumbled.

“You don’t have to say anything.” she said as she was messing with my rings.

I looked down and watched her. She was mainly messing with my hog ring. I held her hand and slid the ring onto her hand. She let out a slight chuckle.

“It doesn’t fit. You have massive hands….you know that right?”

She looked up at me and smiled. She had that gleam in her eye, that one from that amazing night we had, but I couldn’t. She started rubbing my hands and then up to my arms.

“Sweetheart, I can’t. Not now.” I said as I grabbed her hands and put them back in my lap.

She sighed, “That’s fine.”

I could tell she was disappointed, but I could also tell that she understood why.

I lifted her hands up and kissed each of them.

“I love you, you know that right? I don’t want you to hesitate to talk to me, I don’t want to be shut out. I….understand the thing about your mom. I mean….my mom is gone too, so I understand how it gets. I don’t want to lose you to your own thoughts.”

I was looking down at her hands while I said that. I didn’t realize she was staring at me.

“Eddie….I….I didn’t know that….your mom.”

“I never told you, I don’t expect you to know.” I said with a chuckle.

“If you ever want to talk, I’m here for you too Eddie. Seriously.”

She smiled at me then dropped her head back down.

“Eddie, I can’t promise that I won’t shut you out. It just tends to happen. Sometimes I like my thoughts. They’re never bad. Mainly just memories of her. Good ones that I like to relish in. So I’ll be fine…. I'll try not to shut you out…. but I can’t make promises that I might break.

“I understand….just….try not to. That’s all I ask.”

“I’ll try. For you I’ll try.”

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

#eddie munson #eddie x reader #eddie x y/n

[johnrawdoggett]

Part one (of three).

I was nine years old the first time it happened.

...

"I called you here today because Mrs. Bell has expressed concern regarding your daughter's attitude progression" Sister Anne nearly whispered to my mother. Up until this incident, I had always been a quiet and obedient student. I still was. What happened in the art room that day wasn't my fault. It just... happened.

"I don't even know how she managed to completely shatter 16 plastic bottles full of paint, but she did. And now the art room is completely inhabitable until we can have professional cleaners remove the stains."

"Sister Anne, I am so sorry. This isn't like her. Adeliah has never been in trouble before. I assure you, she will be reprimanded." my mother replied.

"And YOU. You're grounded. From everything. Get your backpack and let's go. Now." I knew that look. I was in deep shit. I grabbed my bag and walked to the car with my head down. How did this happen? I didn't break the paint bottles. At least, I didn't mean to.

...

"Have a seat, Mrs. Beck."

Brian always wore a shit eating grin. But not today. Today was different. His smile seem forced, backed by a dense staleness in the air.

"I'm just going to get right to it," he said as he ran his hands over his face. "We lost the contract with Glitnzer Associates. Your project has ceased as of this afternoon. I'm sorry, Del. I have to let you go."

I started in the mailroom at L&D when I was 18. I had worked my way into a sales position within 5 years and eventually landed a position in management. My role was exclusive to Glitzner, our biggest partner. Until today.

"You'll receive a severance package and I'll be glad to write you a letter of recommendation for your future prospects. Anything you need, Del. You were one of our best assets". Surely if that were true, they would have done more to keep me.

"Thank you." I replied, fighting the waterfall trying to escape my eyes.

The walk from his office to mine felt like a marathon that I didn't train for. I was met with a large, brown, shipping box when I arrived. I shut the door and scrambled to gather all of my belongings.

The ride home was nearly silent. No music, windows up - just the hiss of cars passing me on the interstate. I got all the way to the traffic light two blocks from my apartment on autopilot. I don't know when the light turned green or how long I sat there before a symphony of car horns directed toward me started. Suddenly, my silent ride was anything but.

Car horns, muffled rap music, birds chirping, ambulance sirens - I could even hear the wind blow. And then my phone rang. My body was tense, heart racing.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened my eyes, I saw the carnage behind me through the rearview mirror. The air was full of black smoke. Flames peaking through every few seconds. What have I done?

#short story #fiction

[ellanessa]

I posted 78 times in 2022

That's 78 more posts than 2021!

40 posts created (51%)

38 posts reblogged (49%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ellanessa

@becherdireinen

@funnytwittertweets

@munsonquinns

@eddiethefreakkmunson

I tagged 44 of my posts in 2022

Only 44% of my posts had no tags

#spotify - 6 posts

#lyrics - 5 posts

#writing - 5 posts

#shortstory - 5 posts

#ao3 - 3 posts

#draco x reader - 3 posts

#draco malfoy - 3 posts

#eddie munson - 3 posts

#skyrim - 2 posts

#draco x you - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 44 characters

#friday night and i’m acting like an old lady

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

does anyone know the average level you defeat alduin? cuz i defeated him at 43 but i cant tell if that is early or late

4 notes - Posted October 29, 2022

#4

i am running on 3 1/2 hours of sleep and tayor swift's new album try me bitch

7 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

#3

I am constantly torn between wanting Eddie for myself and wanting Eddie for Steve

9 notes - Posted November 18, 2022

#2

do you know how happy my little queer autistic self would be if they

brought goddamn eddie munson back to life

made him being autistic canon

and made him canonically gay

13 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Draco x reader fanfic

Draco x reader, friends to lovers, 9+ chapters, not complete (but updated regularly)

Potion Partners - Detailed by AddictedToEnemiesToLovers on ao3 and the same name by ella_rose_lee on Wattpad

“I wonder why Dumbledore won’t let Snape become the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor,” Ron asked as the trio and you made your way towards the Great Hall. 

“It’s obvious, isn’t it? He doesn’t trust him.” Hermione answered, opening the large wooden doors to let us through. “Everyone knows Snape is associated with Voldemort.”

“Speaking of Snape…” Harry comments, studying you. “How is Potions class going with Mr. Better Than Everyone Else?” 

“Oh shush. Don’t call him that.” You tell him, giving him a glare as the four of you sit down to eat. “And it’s going fine. He’s a good partner and does his share of the work.”

It had been four days since you and Draco Malfoy had been assigned as year-long Potions partners. When you answered Harry, you weren’t lying. Sometimes he talked to you, but only when he needed to. You thought he was warming up to you though, he had talked to you more yesterday. You were about to tell the trio just that until you heard the telltale screeching signaling mail time. You start to fill your plate with food, not worrying about paying attention since you never get mail. You were about to take a bite of the best-mashed potatoes you had ever had when a letter was dropped right in front of you, almost knocking over your pumpkin juice. 

“You got a letter?!” Harry exclaimed, overly excited.

“No need to rub it in, Harry.” You tell him, giving him a dirty look. You examine the envelope, finding nothing but a stamp holding it shut. “It doesn’t say who sent it.”

“Maybe it says inside, open it up.” Hermione remarks. 

You follow her instructions, tearing it open. You pull out the letter inside, recognizing the all-too-familiar handwriting. You should recognize it, after all, you see the writing next to you every day in Potions class. 

 “What does it say, Y/N?”

I put the ring on a chain for you. Your fingers are too small for it without. Keep it. It looks better on you anyway. 

-D

You read it aloud to them as you place the chain around your neck. 

“Someone must fancy you, Y/N!” Hermione excitedly says. “Who do you think it is?”

“I don’t know.” You lie as you glance up from the letter, towards the Slytherin table. Staring back at you is the blond-haired boy from Potions class.

27 notes - Posted November 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[someone-who-has-changed]

I guess being in the hospital has some benefits.

Maybe it’ll be good for me to be here. I can have time to read and draw, and process emotions that are pretty difficult to think through. I’ve been appreciating writing on this ‘blog,’ it’s helpful to work through thoughts and is quite frankly significantly easier than actual journaling. I’ve got to get over my stupid stigma with the internet and embrace this platform. I know nobody reads these, and I generally feel safe posting here. Ultimately, the only harm it can do is embarrassment. I think.

Jonathan texted me yesterday for the first time in the past year and a half. It was a message that was long and hard to read. It’s sort of unbelievable, the audacity he has to reach out after all this time and claim to still care. “I came across some of your artwork while scrolling through Instagram a few months ago and I know some of your pieces stem from our relationship, or at least how you must have felt.’ At least how I must have felt. Avoiding blame yet again; it’s not about how bad our relationship was, it was how I felt. He went on to apologize about how he treated me, and how he feels bad about how much he hurt me. The artworks he saw apparently caused him so much painful emotion that he had to “take some time off of work to process how you’ve felt and how you viewed me.” Awww, poor little baby. My artwork expressing how shitty you treated me hurt your feelings??? I am SoOo so sorry. I’m just the worst, aren’t I?

Take your fucking pity party somewhere else - I don’t have the time or space to care about anything you have to say. I really just can’t imagine what you’re  going through :’’’’( your life must be so hard. It’s just absolutely absurd. He went on to ask me if I could meet up with him to chat: “I would really enjoy hearing about how things have been going for you and just get to know who you’ve become over these past few years,” in other words, ‘I would love to sit and try to explain away all of my wrong-doing, tell you about how good a man I am now, prove to you I deserve you - that you and I belong together. I would love to sit and manipulate you into taking me back and leaving everything behind to run away with me to a space where I can slowly trick you into an abusive relationship again without you evening noticing. I would love to have sex with you, to feel comfort in your body that I took as mine, your innocence that I could once again have (because there’s no way you’ve had sex again after me, right?). 

“I hope your day is going well and that you have a great holiday season.”

At first I didn’t even recognize the number; I thought it might be Hunter or even Russell. Russell was honestly my assumption at first when I started reading - I knew I recognized the 1101 and associated it with ‘ex.’ It just wasn’t associated ‘Jonathan’ anymore. My brain literally did not register. It wasn’t until I read ‘opens any old wounds’ that I knew it wasn’t Russell, it wasn’t Hunter or some old friend - it was shit-for-brains that still can’t fucking let go. 3 years this February, not to count the pieces of our relationship that were dying prior to that. This was high school. I was 15, 16, 17, then 18 - all those years I will never get back. The eating disorder and Covid taking up the only two semesters that you weren’t in my life. I didn’t get to go to the football games, friends sports events, even my own art clubs without you watching, or quite simply not letting me. I missed out on so much of high school not by my choice, but by your taking.]

There was a piece of me that had always wished you would one day see my work, see the pain in the pieces I showed for everyone to see. ‘NOT YOUR PROPERTY, ‘a tribute to taking back what’s mine,’ bleeding March,’ ‘was,’ new people,’ and many MANY more; all of them in copin g and processing