#More like shitposter who took things way too far

[ask-caine]

ok ok what’s yours and moons love story. Beginning to end

OOC POST

It's a bit of a crazy story, actually!

We originally met online through TADC, when she messaged all the Caine accounts she could find for a shitpost "wedding" thing. We ended up hitting it off and talking about random things for a while. It started with my random fact about Kentucky marriage laws and how a couple used them to get married by cocaine bear (hence the below picture)

We ended up learning about a shared interest in plague doctors, as well as discussing several very random topics. Anyways, she invited all the Caines to a discord server, and I ended up being the only one who actually showed up. We would end up talking for hours upon hours day after day there. It was genuinely shocking how much we had in common.

At this point, I had been kinda been picking up on some of the flirtatious undertones behind some of the things she was saying, but I wasn't 100% sure about it yet and was still kinda testing the waters. I'd heard the term love at first sight, and looking back on it, that's pretty much what it felt like. I had been developing a crush on her up to this point, and I kept thinking about her as I was getting ready for bed. I had to keep stopping myself from falling head over heels, reminding myself we barely even knew each other and telling myself "no, she's just being nice. Don't be weird, there's nothing behind this, she's just being friendly."

...As it turned out, she wanted to be a little more than friends... Given my feelings up to this point, I was a little overwhelmed when she told me. I had to take a minute to collect my thoughts, to process everything (hence her jokes about me pulling a Caine and running away). But I liked her, too, and was willing to try a long-distance relationship. So, that's what we did.

It was only a few days after we first got together officially that I told her I loved her. It just felt right. Apparently I caught both of us off-guard with it, since she was sure that she'd be the one who would've said it first. ...We both dived in a little too headfirst from there. From my side of things, it was just so exciting and exhilerating to have this feeling I'd been searching for all my life, and I wanted more of it. We took a step back and both agreed to try and take things at a more reasonable pace from here on out.

We ended up learning a lot about each other. It was like we were the same person, split apart and put in two entirely different situations but turning out the same way anyway. ...This similarity became concerning when we realized we both had the same last name, as well as the fact that we both had Scottish ancestry. But, one family search check later, we confirmed that we are not, in fact, related. Just another insane coincidence that further proves that we were made for each other...

We shared a lot with each other. Our interests, hobbies, ideals, feelings on various topics. Our experiences throughout life, good and bad. The darkest parts of us. Every day, we grew closer. There was no denying that there was something special between us.

That isn't to say everything was perfect. We both still had a lot to learn about ourselves and about each other. There were ups and downs. Things were far from easy. There was a lot of avoidable pain both ways. As time went on, we started to become a little more distant...

Eventually, the stress of life and school and worries and everything going on got to be too much, and she called for us to take a break from the relationship. This hurt, of course... But, taking a break and being done are very different things. I was okay with taking a break, since we would still hang out and such sometimes, just not as romantically.

But, that still wasn't enough. Everything continued to be really stressful, and she felt like she wasn't a net positive in my life and was dragging me down (though the truth was exactly the opposite). So, she decided to fully end the relationship. Which... Really hurt me. Badly.

I kind of fell into a depressive state for a while. I had opened myself up like never before, let myself be more vulnerable than at any point in my life. I had finally found love, the one thing I'd truly wanted all my life, the only thing I've ever needed, and then it was just taken right away. The one thing I feared more than anything else in the world had come to pass.

We would still talk occasionally, but not like before. I already hurt so much, and just talking with her without being able to say the love I still felt was torture for me. So, I distanced myself a bit. I dealt with things on my own. I learned a lot about myself as I came to terms with how things had ended up.

Eventually, I started to feel a little more okay. I knew I could never stop loving her, so I decided to try and turn that love from romantic to platonic and still try to be a friend. Because while I may have lost her, she didn't want me out of her life completely. I could make do as just friends.

But, when I started to come back and we started to talk more again, she realized how much she had been missing me while we were apart. She figured out that some of the things she'd been feeling had been more than she'd realized. She learned that she actually was happier when we were together, and that she still really enjoyed being with me.

So, she began to give little hints again, like before. And, again, I picked up on them, but I didn't want to believe them 100% because of how much I'd been hurt last time. I told myself that she was just showing platonic love, the same way I was. Things would never be the same again. They couldn't be. If I was good for her before, she wouldn't have left...

It was actually Randy who got us actually talking again, first on our blogs, and then regarding what we were being sent. This eventually led to us talking just in general, about all sorts of things... Including what had happened between us. It was emotional, but we both came out of it feeling better about things.

That said, it took until this post before I realized she still loved me and that it was okay to love her back, the way I'd been holding in all this time. We had a heartfelt reunion, though we weren't officially dating again just yet. It still took me a while after that to fully accept everything and let down my guard again, after how much I was still hurting from last time...

But I didn't like the feeling of keeping her away. Of having a barrier between us. I desperately craved that deep, personal connection of love with her again. So, I opened my heart up again. And I'm so incredibly grateful that I did.

Soon after that point, Randy showed up and all those shenanigans ensued. But they only managed to get us talking more about things and uniting against it, which actually brought us even closer together. So, I guess if one good thing's come out of that dumpster fire of stress and stupidity, it's that.

Things have been absolutely wonderful since we got back together. We both learned a lot about ourselves in our time apart, and things have been much better between us. The rocky, uncertain road from before the break had smoothed over. And we fell so much deeper in love the second time.

Add in the stress of the past several weeks, with all the Tumblr drama with these blogs and the hiatus and everything (which I'm not getting into because you can see all that for yourself by looking through our blogs), and you're caught up to the present day. Life is still very stressful for us both, but a lot less so than when we first got together. We understand ourselves and each other so much better, which helps us make less mistakes and treat each other more tenderly and personally in the ways that we need most.

As for the future, immediately after finishing school, I plan to find work and save up to visit her in Canada sometime in the summer. After that is a little hazy at the moment, but we'll figure out our lives and put together a plan to find stable jobs and create a good life for ourselves up there.

And that's it, that's our story. From when we met all the way to the present day. You said beginning to end, but I'm afraid there is no end to our love. The story's still being written. Our lives are still being lived. I hope to be able to add to this years into the future, when we're living together and when we start our own family. But it might still take a while to reach that point.

#pdw x shy #ooc post #love story #lore dump #tadc ask blog #tadc bluetooth #bluetooth tadc #caine tadc #tadc caine #moon x caine #caine x moon #caine x the moon #the moon x caine #idk how to tag this #i hope this is good

[azzydoesstuff]

just had the most absolutely BONKERS dine mission in lethal company w/ my friend.

ok, so we're going normally about our day. dodged turrets and landmines, shot a nutcracker, said hi to an angry british bug, jumped over a glob of goop, got some loot, you know the deal.

so then we go in for one for round of collecting scrap at, like 2pm or 3pm i think, and the most absolutely insane thing happens:

first, a coil-head shows up. boohoo, looks like we gotta wrap it up (coil-heads suck). but then, a fucking jester shows up aswell, so fuck us i guess. gotta hurry now, cause we're a bit far from the fire exit we came in from. then, all hell breaks loose:

ANOTHER coil-head appears of course, then we're hearing a fucking thumper running around somewhere which is fucking great, THIRD coil-head shows up to the party, britbong bug and blob boy from earlier decide to get in our way, thumper's finally up in our faces, my friend fucking BLASTS the bitch-ass thumper to oblivion with double-barrel shotgun lead, possibly the bug too idk it was all going super mega fast, and as i scout the area for my friend (who is watching the coil-heads), i finally spot the fucking fire exit. we fucking BOOK IT for that thing, and we SOMEHOW fucking make it out alive. there might've been like a nutcracker or a snare flea or bracken or something aswell, it was all so much of a blur i can barely remember.

keep in mind, ALL of this shit happened in the span of like 20 seconds, we're fucking panicking and running all over the place having to dodge landmines and turrets everywhere tryna find the exit because if we don't, the jester will rip us up into little bits. everything was fucking chasing us.

free bird was playing in my head the entire time.

...but i'm not done yet!

we made it out at like 6pm. it took us a solid 3 hours to get the loot back to ship, despite the fact that we went in at the fire exit (which is super close on dine). we just had that much loot. (it was only worth like 600 credits in the end but whatever)

and guess what my stubborn, greedy ass decided to do after that complete mayhem of almost dying, at 9pm?

I GO BACK IN AGAIN, BITCH!

my friend stays in the ship as i book it to the main entrance in a last ditch effort to get just a little more loot (going back to the fire exit again is a death wish lmao). i hop in, weave around the nutcracker which happened to be RIGHT in front of me, dodge around a nearby turret, and run into one of the side rooms. the only thing i can grab is a painting, which i do, and i run back to the door to get the fuck out. i gotta dodge around this stupid turret, which for some reason won't stop shooting at me, at get out. 10:30pm. holy fucking shit. i have the pizza tower escape music mod on, so "the death i deservioli" starts playing. i'm just fucking SPRINTING back to the ship like crazy. i make it back at like 11:45pm. all for one stupid fucking painting worth like 70 credits.

to be honest, i just wish i recorded the fucking thing. it would've been prime shitpost material. i might record my sessions in the future just for these kinda moments lmao

#shitpost #shitposting #lethal company #lethal company shitpost #lethalposting #companyposting

[tinybubblesyay]

A story to be told 🎶

Arthur morgan x Papa Emeritus IV

Word count: 1,530

Summary: Terzo screwed up a summoning ritual, and decides to set Papa up on a date with the cowboy that was accidentally summoned.

Again, this was an assignment for English class that was originally 200-ish words. This is a shitpost taken too seriously. I might write h/cs for their relationship. Who knows. You asked for this.

Reblogs welcome and encouraged! I want as many people as possible to lay eyes on this.

~~~~~

Papa Emeritus III had the task of summoning a new ghoul. Him and his ghouls gathered around the altar, drawing sigils with salt and chanting infernal incantations. A fog drew into the room, a green haze quickly taking over. An incredibly loud crack! And a bright flash of light took over the atmosphere of the room.

The fog dissipated, and revealed a ghoul! No- a cowboy? Sitting on the slab, surrounded by unmasked demons. The man screams.

After introducing himself to the man, Arthur, Terzo introduces him to the ghouls and apologizes for the inconvenience. Arthur, not pleased with the situation, says a few choice words and demands he be sent back home.

Terzo and his ghouls give each other a look. Arthur sighs.

~~~~~

Since Arthur was going to be stuck for a while, Terzo decided it would be a great idea to set Copia up on a blind date with the outlaw. He knew Copia had a thing for tall southern men. Maybe they would get along, considering how helpful Arthur had been at the ministry so far. Helping Primo with the heavier work in his garden, assisting siblings in the library with books on higher shelves, and even helping Terzo with note taking, since Terzo had notoriously bad handwriting, it proves that Arthur is kind at heart!

Of course, Copia had heard rumors of a man who was somehow summoned instead of a ghoul and he asked Terzo to explain. He Chose to tell him that the outlaw 'mysteriously' showed up in the chapel during a ritual with the ghouls. It definitely wasn't a mistake, no! The 1800s cowboy was supposed to be there!

Copia of course told Terzo to take care of him, and send him home as soon as possible.

~~~~~

(Copia's pov)

Copia made sure his papal paint looked pristine, he wanted this date to go well! No matter if it was terzo who set it up. After the incident with the mysterious summoned man, Copia wasn't too keen on trusting Terzo, but the mystery of the blind date was enticing enough. "He's exactly your type!" Terzo had told him. "Tall, rugged exterior, southern accent!"

Copia made his way down from his apartment to the abbey gardens, fiddling with the collar of his shirt. Terzo said he would be in the gazebo on the west side of the church, surrounded by rose bushes and weeping willow trees. On one of the warmer evenings in February, it would be the perfect setting.

He wore his gold embroidered vest, without the matching jacket. He hopes his date won't mind him wearing part of his stage outfit. Copia felt his robes were a bit much for a blind meet.

~~~~~

When copia came upon the gazebo he saw terzo arguing with a man in a black cowboy hat. Presumably his date. Terzo immediately broke the conversation to acknowledge Copia, but Copia was focused on the man in the chair. Terzo was right. He is his type.

~~~~~

(Arthur's pov, moments before.)

Terzo sat Arthur down at the gazebo bench. The underside of the roof was lined with off white stringed lights. The table was set beautifully. Red rose petals strewn over the black tablecloth, a red pillar candle in the center, and two plates set either side of it.

"So what's this all about?" Asked arthur "rose petals, 'fancy garden settin', this seems like it's more than just meeting this 'papa' feller yer introducing me to."

Arthur didn't like this. Not one bit.

~~~~~

In the heat of their arguing, both men almost failed to notice Copia approaching.

"----Ah! Mi fratello! How are you? This is the man I wanted you to meet! Arthur…?"

"Arthur Morgan."

Arthur wasn't sure what to think about the other man in skull makeup.

"Copia? Are you alright?" Prompted Terzo.

As if he were coming out of a trance, "Ah! Yes I'm alright Terzo, thank you for setting this up!" Copia stuttered.

Copia sat down in front of his date. If his paints were any thinner Arthur would be able to see how red his face was.

"No need to thank me," Terzo smiled. "I'll leave you two be. I'll be back with this evening's dinner."

Arthur was left alone with Copia. He had several questions to ask, but Copia spoke first.

"So, erm… how are you?"

"Besides being a hundred and twen'y years from home? Peachy."

"That's a long way, may I ask where you are from?"

"America."

"Where specifically though? Texas?" Copia questioned further.

"Uhm no, somewhere up north I think." Arthur supplied. He wasn't sure of the modern equivalent to where he's from. The U.S. had changed since 1899.

"You… you don't know?"

"Am I supposed to?" A pause. Arthur broke eye contact. He started to roll a rose petal between his thumb and index finger. "I ain't too familiar with all the states."

Copia was confused. "Wait. How exactly did you arrive at the ministry?"

Arthur shuddered at the memory. "I was… summoned? Well, tha's what I've been told. Did Terzo not tell you anythin' about me?"

Copia was appalled. He was going to have Terzo's head by the end of the night. "No?! You're the summoned man? I thought Terzo would have sent you home by now!"

"Hah! Me too, but apparen'ly it's easier said than done." Arthur said, bitterly.

"Easier said?! Satanas! non posso mai fidarmi di quello stronzo per fare il suo lavoro- oh forgive me. As Papa I should have oversaw your 'de-summoning' or better yet, done it myself."

"How long does it take?"

"To set up? A day, two at most. But, it's best to do a ritual like this on a red moon, and the next one is in…" Copia paused to think. He sighs, "3 months."

Arthur was exasperated. "3 months?!"

"I have arrived with dinner! Are we doing well tonight?" Terzo spoke, cheerfully.

The light from fairy lights above them, and the twilight of the sunset only made the deadly glare on Copia and Arthur's faces look sharper. Terzo set the covered bowl on the table awkwardly, and quickly left.

Copia lifted the lid, revealing a steaming bowl of rigatoni.

"Oh! My favorite! Rigatoni!"

Arthur was unsure of the dish before him. It didn't look familiar at all. "What is this…?" He asked

"Pasta! Have you not had any before?" Copia questioned. He spooned some rigatoni onto his plate, silently wishing that Terzo had brought out the parmesan.

"No, I like to stick t'a what I know."

"Try it then!" Copia encouraged. "It's wonderful! I promise!"

Arthur spooned some pasta onto his plate. The aroma was good, full of tomato and spices. Arthur grabbed his fork, and took a bite.

Fucking delicious.

~~~~~

Nearing the end of dinner, the sound of music broke through the air. A symphonic rendition of 'Life Eternal' came from the ghouls that gathered out on the walkway around the gazebo. Copia looked at Arthur and smiled.

"Would you care for a dance?" He asked.

"I ain't much of a dancer, Copia" Arthur spoke lowly.

"I didn't ask if you could, I asked if you'd like to."

"... Alright."

Copia and Arthur stood from their chairs. Arthur took Copias right hand, and placed his hand on Copias waist. Copia set his free hand on Arthur's shoulder, and looked up at him, his grin becoming wider as they swayed.

Copia didn't realize how tall the cowboy was when he was sitting down. He towered over him at his full height. Copia could feel the rumble in his chest when he spoke.

"What is it they're playin'? It sounds pretty."

"An instrumental of a song of mine. It's a… love song of sorts." Copia felt the back of his neck itch.

"Oh." Arthur broke eye contact and looked over at the band. The two of them swayed in silence. At a crescendo, Arthur let go of Copia's waist and spun him. Copia chuckled.

They started to turn as they swayed, picking their feet up and moving with the beat. Copia began to hum along, and the ghouls continued to play beautifully. The violin in their small orchestra came from a preset on Cumulus' keytar.

Her violin solo floated over the two of them. Arthur became enchanted by the shorter man. He spun him again, and subsequently drew more giggles from him. Arthur smiled at Copia's reaction.

The two of them drew closer, the both of them enjoying each other's presence. Copia squeezed Arthur's hand, and Arthur squeezed back, looking Copia in the eyes. He dipped Copia once the song came to a close.

Copia sang the last line of the song with the violin. The gazebo lights reflected in his eyes like stars, Arthur noticed. Arthur helped Copia stand upright.

"Thank you for the dance caro mio." Copia beamed, still holding Arthur's hand.

"Ts'a, it's nothin'. I… enjoyed it. It was fun" Arthur scratched the back of his neck. He looked bashful. "Wouldn't mind an evening like this again." Copia lit up, excited at the prospect.

The ghouls quietly cheered to themselves. Sodo gave a thumbs up to Terzo, who was watching from afar behind a bush. He pumped his fist in excitement, victory!

~~~~~

#Arthur morgan x Papa Emeritus IV #Arthur morgan x copia #Arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #papa copia #Papa Emeritus IV #shitghosting #papa terzo #papa Emeritus III #nameless ghouls #ghost the band #strangers to lovers #sorta #poorly translated Italian (ghost) #yes i drew art for this #no i don't regret it #need to practice my digital art skilz

[foggy-the-cringe]

Okay question, I saw your reblogs on my shitposts from Age of Myth—

I’m an incredibly slow reader, but I don’t mind mild spoilers, and I’ve been wondering this for a while. Are Malcolm and Raith a canon couple? Because they planned to start a clan together but Raith has some sort of crush on Persephone. I was just wondering like if we have a BBC Merlin x Arthur situation going on (i.e. the only thing that could make them more gay is kissing) or if the author goes the full way?

(Sorry I don’t really know you) (I just don’t know anyone who reads this and I ship it so hard)

hi! sorry it took me ages to answer (lame pun intended). unfortunately I'd love to know this as well, only read first book so far. Malcolm and raith relationship been the highlight, oh if this IS merthur situation I'm not sure I'm ready lol

would love to hear from you again with any sort of commentary/info on the books or merthur stuff (because Idk anyone who knows these books even exist and maaaan that chemistry they got going on is too good)

thanks for reaching out, sorry to disappoint. hope you're doing well

#age of myth #merthur

[angelamontoo]

what hobbies do you think the various characters would have? personally i think joel would like embroidery

That's definitely a nice one for Joel, it gives me mental images of him unwinding in a big chair with one of those old timey embroidery tablet thingies after a long and frustrating day. Also forcing Wilmer to be his mannequin while he embroiders details onto clothes

As for my HCs for what he'd enjoy, I tend to run with Cairo having theatre tickets in the film and imagine he's a big fan of theatre and literature and reads and does creative writing a lot-probably has some drafts for plays he wrote at various levels of completion kicking around. I can't say if its true, but I think I heard somewhere that in the book cairos said to know a lot of languages and I like the idea of him having a passion and interest in language aswell. Also, ik how stupid this last one sounds, but I kind of like the idea of Cairo baking after I drew that "why do they call it oven" image. Ik it's a silly shitpost, but I really like the way he came out in the second drawing I added to that post

Herman naturally likes reading up on human anatomy and how the organs function(although his interest probably started to fade some after having to know how long you can keep a person alive with their liver on the outside of the body became part of the humdrum grind) aswell as working on new faces for jonathan. I think if he had the time he'd happily plan ahead weeks in advance about exactly how he was going to make his partners next face look, drawing up sketches of the imagined nose from different angles, comparing the design to chonnys previous faces etc. But ofc he doesn't usually have that much time. If Herman were to have a hobby that's far removed from his criminal shenanigans, I can see him doing something wholesome and quaint like scrapbooking or birdwatching. Maybe after meeting Elaine they took up something together like mini golf or tennis

Polo loves collecting nice things. Ofc he knows that when he steals something he should give it back(unless Andre says otherwise) but sometimes he can't find the original owner or doesn't remember who they are or it was just a really soft, pretty coloured powder puff that would be a perfect addition to his "soft things to pet when I'm stressed cause Andre's mad" box. Another, more healthy hobby of Polo's is training his pet mouse. I think Tanya would notice that Polo's kleptomania was more manageable when he was focused on his mouse and would encourage him to keep it up. Andre would notice too and feel the opposite way

Louie collects snails and leaves them in random places around Tony's yacht when he's having rich people parties

#the maltese falcon #joel cairo #wilmer cook #arsenic and old lace #herman einstein #jonathan brewster #elaine harper brewster #i was an adventuress #polo #tanya #andre #ill give a million #louie the dope #tony newlander #oh boy this was a long one lol

[deliciouspeachpirate]

I posted 1,194 times in 2022

12 posts created (1%)

1,182 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@carryingthebanner

@mysandwichranaway

@cold-butter-warm-toast

@hotcocoandmarshmallows

@shippingcannons

I tagged 554 of my posts in 2022

#newsies - 144 posts

#jack kelly - 52 posts

#newsies shitpost - 38 posts

#davey jacobs - 34 posts

#percy jackson - 26 posts

#lord of the rings - 22 posts

#important - 22 posts

#newsies fanart - 21 posts

#fansies - 21 posts

#tumblr culture - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i’m currently in a room with 11 other people who are presumably asleep and will be for another hour and a half so i can’t listen to it now

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

This is a tumblr hug, or a tumblr high five, or a tumblr sitting in the same room together, pass it on to your ten favorite followers or mutuals <3

AYYYYYY THANK YOU BESTIE! Right back at you! I saw your other ask too, you're so sweet <3

1 note - Posted August 10, 2022

#4

crash

2 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#3

Ok now I'm curious to see which newsie you associate ME with

Okay so I went to look through your blog and the very first thing I saw screaming lady and cat meme and so my brain instantly said Race but then then the very first couple posts were about how nice it is when someone's open about how much they care about you and giving someone the bigger or better part of something you're sharing because you love them and so I'm gonna say you're Jojo.

I've always seen him as a bit of a jokester and always trying to make people laugh, but he's also the sweetest guy ever and one of the first people to know if someone is having a bad day. Basically, I think you're really cool!

2 notes - Posted February 22, 2022

#2

for the newsies association, either kath or finch!

Ooooo interesting! I am very honored that I remind you of our queen, her majesty Katherine Pulitzer Plumber! And Finch is cool too, I never would have thought about that! We stan our bird man

2 notes - Posted February 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Sprace Royal Wedding AU (Let me know if anyone has an idea for a good title!)

@gendistic42 Here is your fic for @newsiesgiftexchange! I absolutely LOVED your prompt! This was my first time writing an au, so I hope you like it. It's also important to note that this fic isn't finished yet because it is going to become my first ever series! Updates will probably be sporadic, but shall be made with love so hopefully that counts lol I'm so glad I got to be a part of this! Without further ado, here is the first part of *Inset Title Here That I Will Come Up With Later!* I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Spot was pissed. He'd always known that one day he was going to have to marry someone who was chosen for him, someone that he wouldn't have much time to get to know, and given his track record, likely someone he wouldn't even like. All the same, to find out that Denton had chosen someone without even talking to him first made him angry.

Denton had been his father's advisor before he died. He'd practically raised Spot and while it was safe to say he was one of the only people Spot actually loved, they two didn't always get along very well. Denton wanted to make sure that Spot would be ready to rule when the time came. Seeing as how his father had died years ago, he would be crowned king as soon as he turned 18, leaving him with far less time to prepare than most had. Spot had watched Denton rule as the Lord Protector, learning all he could from him, until he effectively took over at 16. It was a hard life and while Spot often wished it had been passed to someone else, he wanted the best for his people and wasn't willing to risk turning over his kingdom to someone who didn't care about it as much as he did.

Spot's inevitable marriage was one of the most common debates between the him and Denton. It always started the same way. Denton would ask if Spot had thought any more about one suitor or another, Spot would get defensive over all the other things he had been working on lately till Denton pointed out that Spot was using that as an excuse to avoid thinking about it. Spot would get angry, Denton would yell back and they'd fight till Spot inevitably stormed from the room to lock himself away in his office for hours on end. They always made up quickly, they couldn't afford not to, and they both understood the other's position. The last argument had ended with Spot telling Denton to just find someone for him so that he didn't have to think about it anymore.

Sitting in his office, Spot now regretted telling Denton to decide without him. Spot realized that while he trusted Denton to try not to doom him to a miserable life, he had given up what little choice he'd had in finding someone to marry. Knowing Denton, it was likely someone serious, stoic, and far to boring for Spot's taste. Someone who could help him run his kingdom well, but probably not someone he would want to spend his life with.

Most of the reason why Spot loathed the idea of an arranged or political marriage, though he would never be caught dead admitting it, was that he wanted to have a chance to actually fall in love with someone. He wanted the chance to admire them from across the hall, for his friend's to tease him whenever his crush walked in the room. He wanted to ask them on a date and go to the movies or watch the stars together talking about everything and nothing. He wanted to hold their hand and watch their face light up when they talked about their passions. He wanted to make pancakes on a Sunday morning while his partner cooed over their kid in the living room. He wanted so many things that he'd never get the chance for.

Spot jumped as his phone vibrated next to him. Looking down he saw the name lighting up the screen. Of course Davey would be calling him. Spot had known Davey Jacobs for as long as he could remember. The Jacobs family had always been granted nobility back when Spot's grandmother had been queen for their ongoing efforts to align the monarchy with the needs and feelings of the people. Ever since the family had been both politicly active and well loved by most of the nation. Because of their close relations with the royal family, Davey, Sarah, and Spot had practically grown up with each other. Spot wasn't always sure if Les knew that he was technically his future king, but Spot didn't care for Les to ever see him as anything other than his older brother's stressed out friend.

He huffed and ran a hand down his face before declining the call and going back to the document he had been trying to distract himself with earlier. Not five seconds later his phone lit up again. Groaning he declined the call again, unlocking his phone and typing out a text before the young politician could call him another time. Just as he was about to send it, that damned picture of a smiling, gap toothed 8 year old Davey took over his screen again.

"Davey what the fuck do you want?"

"Wow, Denton said it was bad but I didn't expect that," Davey's languid and amused voice gave away that Spot's reaction was exactly what he had expected.

Spot gritted his teeth a took a deep breath before he responded.

"Jacobs, I swear, you'd better have something real important to say."

"Dude you just got engaged and you don't even know who it is. You literally told your dad to choose someone for you."

Only a handful of people knew that Spot would often refer to Denton as his dad. Given that his actually father had been the king and was now dead, it would have been considered disrespectful of him to refer to anyone else as his father, even though the former king had never had much of a hand in raising Spot in the first place.

"Yes, which is why you had better say something interesting in the next five seconds or I'm hanging up, I've got work I was doing before you called!"

"Uh huh, because you were definitely focused on that and not on your future husband," Spot could hear Davey rolling his eyes through the phone.

After a moment of silence, Davey huffed slightly before speaking again.

"Look Spot, how about I come over tonight. I don't want you stewing around your office and don't say you're working, we both know you aren't gonna get anything done like this. Let's just watch a movie, maybe sleep out on the balcony and talk. You need some time to process this."

Spot sighed before answering. "Ya know what Dave, you pick out the movie and I'll cover snacks."

"I'll be there in 20 minutes."

Spot laughed, "You'd better, Jacobs."

20 notes - Posted January 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #I love how I hardly posted anything at all whoops #Okay but I’ve been thinking about the sprace royal wedding au thing lately how are we feeling about that one boys? Should I revisit it? #Also the bestie being my top reblogged #Celeste my beloved

[readyandnot]

august update thoughts:

+ vampire vid (spoilers)

hello again mr redacted!

lots of plane and background noise lmao i love it

“return of characters” AYO???? (i think we all know who i am just excited lmao)

morgan, 19 months- worth it. can’t wait to see more of him and his listener :))

vega vega vega- he’s a cool villain indeed, i love where the story has gone between him and warden. while i am concerned of the warden and other characters lol, it’s a very interesting plot line in this universe and very unique. can’t wait to see more!

MILOOOOO- this is my fav sleep aid so far, it’s so effective and so good omfg. ever since his first vid he’s been rising to the top of my favs AND HE NEVER DISAPPOINTS. i love him <3

the compilation vids!!! took me two days to finish these, watched imperium then fl season two- then inversion and after shock. it was great rewatching them as heartbreaking as it was. seeing important moments between characters and subtle things (*clears throat* hux and dami) i love these vids, very great and very emotional storytelling!

aaron!!! while he isn’t at the top of my list, man he’s great. i love seeing him pop up and rise higher in my list. this audio is adorable. love seeing smartass being cute and aaron indulging them lol i love thinking about the day after smartass wakes up again haha!

blake. ugh WHY IS HE SUCH A GOOD ANTAGONIST. this story is great and one of my fav side plots in this universe. it started off so simple and then just became so intense. while people and he have said this audio didn’t move forward a lot i agree with the fact it was important. it makes sense too, brachium spent his powers so he needs to rest, blake is pretty spent and sunshine needs a break. it makes sense to not jump in again right away, i think that’s what the next audio will be for. while i love and want the best for sunshine and elliott, the angst is great and leaves more room for their relationship to grow and become stronger. it’s scary but exciting!

geordiiii- :(( this audio was one of the hardest ones for me. because like he said, as a listener i wouldn’t do what cutie did lol but that’s why we have oc’s like he mentioned. and while it is hard and heartbreaking, not every relationship is perfect and it ties into real life instead of everything being perfect. this story and relationship is a way to show that side of things, and it’s very interesting to listen to. i hope geordi and cutie can recover from this but it won’t be easy, we just gotta hope lol <3

DAVEY AND GREGORY. TWO ALPHAS IN A ROOM WOOHOO. i already said my thoughts but omg this was great. the introduction of gregory was simple but effective, and seriously important to the development of the quinn situation. i’m excited to see the story continue with darlin and sams audio coming up and also nervous but hey who isn’t lmao (also angel and davey shopping was adorable!!!)

VAMPIRE VID SPOILERS- wow, i love these types of vids lmao they’re such shitposts and i love it. i love imagining people like lovely adam sam and vincent having to watch these and cringing lmao

however the info was great to know and important! the additional info about shifters and empowered people was nice! the fact that redacted makes vids like these to help people out is great, and plus it’s hilarious to watch the editing haha!

WHOS NEXT- DARLIN AND SAM AHHHHHHH

IM EXCITED AND ANXIOUS

I KNOW ITS GONNA START OFF WITH THE DAVEY CALL I JUST KNOW IT

gonna be a little angsty but i love it, leaves more room for comfort from sam :))

i missed my southern vamp- love him dearly <33

#redacted asmr

[superpeanutgarden]

Christmas Emotions: Why I will never hang a shining star upon the highest bough

Content Warning: A massive rant about grief, plus personal trauma

I have a complicated relationship with the month of December. Not just in the traditional Living-in-the-northern-hemisphere-it's-dark-and-cold-and-I'm-depressed way.

You see, I experienced a traumatic separation from my adopted brother when I was thirteen. (I mean, my whole family did. it has left us all affected in different ways.) His birthday is in December.

We lost custody on Memorial Day weekend (a fact I did not remember until this year), but his birthday is halfway through December.

He turned 19 this year. (We lost custody 13 years ago.) The name we gave him (probably not his name anymore) was Jared. It sounds like a shitpost, but my sibling and I were robbed of- among other things- a whole year of "Jared, 19, never fucking learned how to read" jokes.

Grief is hard. It's messy and weird in ways you can never truly know or understand until you experience it. The longing of something that will never happen again, wishing that it was all a dream, hating how other people get to be happy and hating yourself for being bitter in the face of joy. The thing that annoys me the most is when people try to erase the ugly parts. (Not just of grief, but that's the focus of this blog post.) Specifically when people ignore how grief affects you for the rest of your life. It never stops, never fully goes away, never truly dulls. It only gets smaller, less frequent, more surprising.

December is a whole freaking month devoted to hope and community. The commodification of the sacred tradition of solidarity has sanitized the concepts to the point of being almost entirely repugnant. There were several years where I could not bear to listen to any christmas music written during the last 100 years because it was too happy and did not reflect the rage and emptiness I felt. Thankfully I am past that point, but it took a lot of reflection and intentional thinking to get here. We're talking three years minimum where all I wanted to listen to were hymns that focused on the fact that December is a month of darkness and cold, and how the concept of hope was once (and still might be) far away and hard to grasp.

To this day, there is a single song that sets me off every time I hear it. I call it "the cowards version of Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas". According to urban legend, the original lyrics were deemed 'too depressing' to be featured in the film "Meet Me in Saint Louis" by Judy Garland herself. I don't personally care why there are two versions around. One faces the reality that I have had to live with the past 13 years, that countless others face every year, and one erases it. It's not a big difference, there's only a single line that changed. "Until then we'll have to muddle through somehow" became "hang a shining star upon the highest bough." and that change infuriates me every time I experience it. Let me show you why

"Someday soon, we all will be together/ if the fates allow/ until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow/ and have yourself a merry little christmas now."

The song overall discusses how the singer is separated from their loved ones. Some, maybe even most, of the "faithful friends who are dear [...] gather near [...] once more", but there above quoted verse implies that there is someone still missing; perhaps more than one person. And yet, the singer urges the audience not to wait for those missing loved ones to return in order to find joy. Because sometimes it isn't that your sibling has moved out and your parents and little brother went up north to visit family and you have the house to yourself for Christmas Day. Sometimes the person you're missing is gone for years, sometimes they're never coming back. And what are you going to do about it? You can't just put your life on hold. TO quote another song entirely "the years start coming and they don't stop coming". Until they come back from vacation, or deployment, or self-inflicted isolation, or until you are all reunited in the afterlife, we all have to muddle through somehow. Can't go back, can't stand still, gotta move forward and find a way to have a merry little christmas with the people you still have.

Hope is beautiful, but it is also messy and those who need it most are often marred with blood and trench-dirt and rubble-dust and scorch-marks. (for God's sake, there's a fucking genocide going on in Palestine right now) Grief never goes away, but neither will I. My family will have to muddle through somehow for the rest of our lives, and by all the gods who care to listen, we will have ourselves a Merry Little Christmas right fucking Now, and we will honor the gaping hole in the fabric of our family but we will NOT allow it to rob us of more than it already has.

Anyway, Merry Christmas and Free Palestine

#you dont know me #but i know you #words words words #personal rant #sad thoughts #tw grief #grief journal #christmas

[ikilledamanforthisurl]

Minami x6 you are okay boss everyone needs to recharge sometimes……. Im actually extremely head empty today so apologies if this is like just Entirely Words V_V But real real…… I wish there was more general discussion of Majima's relationship with his family because iirc it wasn’t even something he asked for initially but he gets it Anyways and now he just has to deal with it. But not only that it soon becomes somehow The Biggest Family in the tojo which leads now to Majima basically being responsible for like so much of the clan to the point where he’s constantly getting threatened because there’s no one else TO threaten anymore the tojo is in such shambles…. and well how are you expecting him to act normally and kindly in this sort of situation. I wish the games took it more seriously because I feel like at least w what we see of Nishida Majima's casual violence and abuse is treated a bit too Jokingly but like I get why he’s Like That. World is a hell the cycles just keep continuing forever! Also nah you’re okay for tangents I also actually love Majima a lot I just feel myself break out into hives whenever I have to witness fandom Majima Family stuff where a lot of it treats it as though it’s just like funny cutesy hahas and not like an Organisation of extremely violent and fucked up people who realistically probably don’t know how to really interact with each other and the interesting ways this could be shown. Like i love shitposts top but come on gang. Png

Also I hope you don’t take this poorly but I have no idea who Aratani is <///3 I couldn’t find him on the wiki and Im not super far yet in the yakuza franchise so you’ll have to excuse me if your points In Regards to majima family members which one actually is taken seriously and which one is not Im just nodding along. But YES real I loooveeeeeee the whole minor theme of like reputation and stories in yakuza…. I think Kiryu is the most notable example of this with how much reverence people put on his name and how it affects like important characters (nishiki most obviously but also Ryuji and the whole debate of “There can only be one dragon” etc) but Majima would definitely also have stories about him that would spread far and wide and it doesn’t matter if they’re true or even real at all because it’s the Image that lingers and that would affect the people around him too most importantly to this discussion Minami. Wants to be somebody ism IS real and i am shaking it around by the neck

Minami might be a lil side character goofy guy but he is my friend and ill put the work into developing him if i must. RGG hire me for my spin off game where you are a employee at Majima construction and you do building minigames and get to hang out with and get to know better Nishida and Minami respectively amen. And i hope the playlist making of one day goes well <33

FEAR NOT! i have pickture of the sulking wretched fiend.....

I'm afraid i don't have a screenshot of him not going on about his whole deal but he's literally patriarch-gunner personified....... Aratani (and most other M.Family men that i'll ever mention for a while besides Minami and Nishida) is a Dead Souls exclusive! i am currently watching a playthru of DS because i've already exposed myself to spoilers a'plenty cause idrc + i think having the most atrocious watchorder of Yakuza is really really funny. We've gone from all of Y0 shown to me by an ex > a lil bit of Y1 > Dead Souls > and then imma do either Y7 or Y3. i enjoy making things harder for myself

also ive had the exact same wishful thinking to myself....... sidecharacter spinoff game...... where u just hang out with them or some shit whatever. most loserific iteration being a Minami focused one because Who Even Wants That but i'll own it idc i have ideas. i have plans. the haters (rggstudios legal team) will sabotage me etc etc. i'd like to think i could have an okay shot at balancing the At First I Lol'd with the But Then I Serioused in a way that's satisfying 'cause both are integral to these characters to me. just like, two more seconds of thinking implications of Anything through would do this series Wonders

but sidetracking cause you mentioned M.Construction and its got me Thinking Again cause like.... i like the idea of balancing Nishida + Minami as opposites in many ways who clash and struggle to fit in with the other. they're not perfect opposites by any means but they function pretty closely. i like stressed, decent Nishida representing the side of the family involved with M.Con while lenient punk twat Minami is firmly planted in the Yakuza side. if Junior Leader is at all involved with a training position then that kind of helps prop up this idea a little bit.... though, ofc, there would be plenty overlap, having so many men on payroll practically requires you to make jobs for them, so it's not like the Family is divided into these two sectors or anything.... lots of mixing of shifts goes down no doubt. whether there is a method to this assignment is another story entirely (probably depends on each person's strengths, abilities, whether they applied for sitework specifically, or as punishment/reward)

(shit i made up territory) Minami is probably assigned to M.Con worksites often.... probably as punishment 'cause you already know this man got the 80HDeez he can't sit still and not cause trouble for the life of him. it both keeps him in one place and occupied while still holding over his head that he Fucked Up, Dummy. oh great, now I gotta deal with Nishida's bullshit (petty squabbling ensues in the office that's my setup to get the two to interact on a regular basis anyways.... there's lots of fun to be had with these two, but so little actually bridges them together. they're SOOO WORSTIES but they work on the other ends of the Family. one's at Oyaji's beck-and-call and the other is kept as far away from Oyaji as possible the millisecond he annoys him a lil too much. one belongs in finance and requires anxiety drugs while the other can't dress himself and needs rehab. oh my god theyre so (crushes them in my hands like putty

#ikildaman shut the fuck up #laughing at being called boss also. me? boss? you have contracted yakuza goon syndrome #i cant even say i hate it its kindof slay.....(guy whose faves are all gang goons #in a strangely beautiful irony Minami probably Does get stories told about him.. #theyre just not told with the fearful reverence that Majimas are #Majima basically crawled out of hell kicking and screaming and shrieking and killing. Minami is just a weirdo #(said with love) #everything u say abt Majima nd his Family are so real and true btw you get me you Get It #I NEED A SPOTLIGHT ON THE FAMILY MEN.... I NEED IT NEEOWWW #something beyond using them as plot and joke props. please #i need just one family man to be a Person a little bit. pleeeeeeease #i think Kido is like this a little bit but im not sure. looking forward to meeting him #Rikiya too ohmy god how could i forget

[neonominous]

Polyamory Tales #2: In Which I Obtain a Cat

Continuing in the same vein as my last post about my shitpost of a life, I have returned to provide y'all with another Bullshit True Life Story about why I have my cat. It involves a failed rescue attempt, the American state of Kentucky, and intense, prolonged sleep deprivation.

So, I wanted to get my year-old orange kitty, Dream, from my best friend's place in Texas after having to fuck off under cover of darkness to Philadelphia the previous year to escape the clutches of my abusive mother. At that point, it was too hot in Texas to have him shipped to me on a plane, and there was no other way to come and collect him shy of driving there to pick him up, so I asked my friend here in Wisconsin if they'd be willing to drive me to go collect him. We'll call my friend Madison.

Now, Madison was known for going ALL OUT on road trips and so they asked me if there was anyone I wanted to see on the way down to Texas. I had a list of people I wanted to see and confirmed the details with those people as best as I knew how to. One of those people was my partner in Kentucky. We'll call him KFC.

We'd stopped in Cleveland, Ohio the night before to visit my adoptive mom, and we were starting to head south in the vague direction of the national park where Madison wanted to camp because KFC hadn't given me an address yet, just a town name. So I began poking him repeatedly for that address midway through Ohio. Here's the thing, though. When I'm not around people I am familiar with, I find it very, very difficult to sleep. So before we even embarked on the journey out of Cleveland, I was running on what was basically two days without sleep. By the time we crossed into Kentucky, I had at long last received an address from KFC AND was so tired that I was essentially tripping balls from sleep deprivation. I was on a complete and total other plane of existence, to the point where I should NOT have been trusted with any form of logistical anything.

When we were about three hours outside of the tiny town where KFC lived, it became very apparent to me that I was no longer in my element as a trans man. This wasn't just any ordinary place in rural America, this was Appalachia rural America. Anything could happen to us out there and in most cases, we'd be critically fucked. So when we got near the address KFC gave us and we couldn't find it, we began to worry that KFC had stood me up. I hatched a crackpot plan to call the girlfriend I live with - who we shall call Beany - and have her call KFC to let him know that we were there because we weren't getting any fucking cell service out there.

The plan worked, by some miracle, and KFC came screaming down the hill on a four wheeler like a hillbilly knight in shining armor. He took us up to the shed he used as a home office, and he met Madison, who by that point was very skeptical of this entire plan. Madison left us shortly afterwards to go exploring and ultimately make camp, leaving me to my own sleep deprived devices with KFC.

KFC and I got along like a house on fire, even better in person than we did virtually. We eventually wandered down the hill to the main house so that I could go meet KFC's mother.

It was apparent to my peabrain that KFC was absolutely both from and of Appalachia at this point. He is highly intelligent, but moves slowly in the way people from there do, which explains why he took his time getting back to both Beany and myself. KFC's mother was even more Appalachian than he was, and it really, really showed. This lady was about two thirds as tall as me, frail, missing half her teeth, and had an accent so rural it made MY accent sound Texan as a response. I had no idea how she was even alive at that point, and she was clearly not of this realm. I loved her immediately, even though I was also terrified of her.

KFC was not out to his mother, nor did he tell her I am transgender, as far as I was aware. So when I met her, I took one glance at the shotguns on the wall and the little woman with very keen eyes sitting before me smoking like a chimney, and prayed to whatever forgotten gods ran this place that I could somehow sweet talk this obvious elder goddess into not destroying me that night.

And my charisma bid succeeded. I charmed her, and I charmed her so thoroughly that had I been given more time there, she may have disowned KFC and adopted me in his stead, in much the same way Darius III's mother disowned Darius and adopted Alexander the Great following Darius' defeat at the Battle of Gaugamela. I did all of this while having barely slept for three days.

Madison was less enthused. Far less enthused, in fact.

Their camping trip went awry. They barely slept at all, there was an incident with a bear, and when I finally discovered that they had come to collect me the following day, they'd been waiting for thirty minutes before I came outside.

When no one else we'd planned to see had their shit together, we decided to head back to Wisconsin that day rather than pressing onward to Texas.

When I got back to where I lived, Beany and I quickly determined that there was no way Dream would be able to get here, and my best friend ultimately had to surrender him to an animal shelter. So Beany and I put our heads together and she told me we could get a new cat for my birthday, which was coming up in about two weeks. I joined a cat rehoming group and began to wait to see if any promising cats arrived. A few days before my birthday, I set eyes upon the cat who would eventually become MY cat. She was a small tuxedo cat, about seven months old, and I knew immediately that she was an absolutely perfect tiny terror of a thing.

Beany gave me the all clear and I picked her up the day before my birthday and named her Artemisia. She is chaos. Complete and utter fucking chaos, perfectly befitting her batshit insane origin story.

#polyamory #polyam #cat #my familiar #true stories #storytelling #appalachia #kentucky

[fleetingfigures]

Superhero/villain :3

(This is mostly a spin off of a near future Yakuza AU I was imagining with a few friends, and as such I’ll use the picrew I used for that for this as well!)

“PENTAKILL!” 

“Ace!”

The incessant sound of a mechanical keyboard fills the small studio apartment, as the flashing displays from a multi-monitor setup illuminate a singular hunched figure in front of it all. A Miqo’te, no older than his mid twenties sits, or rather perches upon an elaborate office chair, typing away at inhuman speeds as his eyes dart to and fro, focused on the game at hand. He reaches over, grabbing hold of a now room temperature crêpe and takes furtive bite out of it, his eyes still glued on the monitors before him. And this is how most nights proceeded for this Miqo’te -  wherein he sits for hours, stuffing his face with all manner of snacks, plays a few games, then heads to bed. Though, tonight is not his usual night as, before the match he’s in can reach its natural end, his whole desk vibrates as his phone lights up. The man is tempted to just shut off the phone, and go back to his game, but, seeing the caller ID, he supposes he has to pick up. Typing a “brb” in chat, the Miqo’te grabs the phone, and flips it around in his hand before pressing the accept call button. 

“Yello?” The Miqo’te answers lazily, going to wedge the phone between his shoulder and ear to free up his hands. 

Loud breathing is the only thing that greets his question, accompanied soon after by the keen sound of gunshots and the dull thud of distant, yet hurried footsteps. Things seem to die down for just a bit as a gruff voice breaks the silence. “Sae. You have some Fucking explaining to do. You told me no one was going to be at the Garlean Warehouse by Pier 5, and yet what do I found except an armed squadron of their best guards!”

The Keeper rolls his eyes, moving the phone away from his mouth as he abandons his game mid-match. After closing its tab, he pulls up a non-descript program, displaying its two main windows upon the monitors before him. There he can see the man on call with him currently, a Midlander who, besides the wild mop of hair upon his head, which is probably due to the mad sprint he had to perform to not get shot, seems rather pedestrian. On the other window, he can spy the Garlean guards he had mentioned, armed to the teeth in their finest magitek assault rifles as they fanned out to scan the area. He takes another bite of his crêpe before he finally addresses his caller. “Well, seems someone didn’t ask for enough details.”

“Gods… Is now really the time to reprimand me on such a thing, Sae?!”

“Well, yes, considering we’re only bound by the cash you paid me, and the limited info I gave you was well worth the pitiful sum you provided.”

“Just, ok look… I’ll double your payment, alright? Just divert their attention somehow, you’re the fanciful hacker here.”

“Finneeeee, just give me a minute, alright? I’ve gotta get around a few of their security systems, kay?” 

“Make it quick.”

Sae begins to type quickly again, as he pulls up a third tab, and types into the minimalist chat box that greets him. 

Sae: “> Hey, saw a strange thing on watch. Seems someone’s lurking around your warehouse. Told ya that hiring a squad tonight was gonna be a good idea.”

Soon after hitting send, the Miqo’te gets a response back.

R.V.H “> Seems you aren’t insane after all, Sae. I assume the squad is handling the intruder as we speak, yes?”

Sae: “> Not quite. Seems the dude’s pretty good at evading them, and he’s got your canister in his hands. I could try my hand at stopping him directly, but that’d require me to gain full access into your systems, and maybe a little extra cash too.”

R.V.H “> Damnit. Are you sure they can’t restrain him without your aid?”

Sae: “> Yup. Pretty certain. The dude’s holed up in a room and is gonna slink away into the night if I don’t lock that grate above his head.”

R.V.H: “Fine. I’ll send the system’s master code, as well as an extra sum of cash.”

Sae: “> Thnx. And how much is that extra sum?”

R.V.H “500k gil, in addition to the 2 mil I’ve already given to you.”

Saerno begins to type even faster as he brings the phone back to his ear. 

“Hey bud, still there? You didn’t get shot yet, right? I’ve just gotten through the secruity’s, well, security. Seems you’re at a dead end, but that grate right above you might prove useful.”

The Hyur on the other end breathes a sigh of relief. “Oh thank fuck. Seems you’re not as useless as I thought you were, Sae.”

“Hey, I’m the reason why you even knew about this whole place anyways. No need to be so aggro, jeez…”

The Keeper reclines back in his chair, placing his phone down upon his desk as he finishes the last of his crêpe. Of course tonight of all night’s he had to deal with the stuff he’s been preparing for weeks. Couldn’t they have at least waited till after his match was done? God... He’s gonna have to grind again to get back into his ranked promos. But, he supposes, in some way, that this is a tad better than that cesspool of a ‘fun time’. It’s always so fun setting up two sides and letting things pan out from there; that is, of course, with a little of his tinkering sprinkled here and there. It’s one of the last things that brings him true enjoyment in this shitshow of a world anyways. With everything so orderly under the thumb of Garlean reign, and the Resistance trying to swoop in like knights in shining armor, it’s as if Saerno’s living in one of those stupid fantasy novels he used to like as a kid. It’s all so trite, so predictable, and he’s not going to let the world continue to lose what little flavor it has left. However, Saerno is soon broken out of his reverie as two notifications ping to life upon his phone, both banners indicating payments he’s just received. Smiling to himself, he stretches, and reaches for his phone once again and begins to lazily imitate static noises. 

“Hey -kshh- I think I’m -stssss- Breaking up on you.”

“W-wait what?! What do you mean, Augh goddamnit, it must be th-”

“Call Ended.”

With that, Sae tosses his phone on his bed, and leans forward to inspect his screens once again. Inputting the master code he had just received, the Keeper begins to toy with whatever catches his fancy at the moment. 

“Hmmm, Water boiler? Why not? Gas pipes? Let’s loosen em’ up just a tad, and- Oh! There it is, the canister’s main control panel. How about we just disable all safety protocols and…”

Saerno stands up for a brief moment, wheeling his chair over to the large window of his apartment and sits squarely on it. Reaching downwards, he grabs a bag of chips, honey barbecue of course, and begins to slightly part the curtains. Just then, a brilliant cerulean flame erupts on the horizon, as the shockwave produced by it shakes the very foundation of Saerno’s building. In the darkness of his abode, Saerno claps silently to himself, stopping to much on a few chips every once in awhile.

In this world, there’ll be heroes in capes, and villains in suits, but none of that really strikes too well, you feel? No matter what side they’re on, the life these super-whatevers lead is oh so boring and drab. And that’s why I’m here, to spread a little chaos, and to remind everyone that life isn’t like a picture book, or some trashy romance novel. This life we lead is called reality because it can never be predicted, never be truly under control. Though, I guess you could say that these words I’m spouting are absolute horseshit and I just want to see the world bounce between extremes for my own sick pleasure which, well, isn’t wrong, but can’t a guy enjoy some of the finer things in life? After all, sitting here and eating these chips would be way less interesting if there wasn’t a fireworks display going on in the background.

#Supervillain Sae? #More like shitposter who took things way too far #This is so OOC for him even in the other AU I mentioned #but hey #I love giving characters questionable morals and motivations #Reading over this #I basically just made Sae into a less insane version of Junko Enoshima #Just shoot me now #entry-1258

[kaidenya]

Getting Caught ✧ MHA

Description: Headcanons for getting caught in a intimate moment with Hitoshi Shinso, Tenya Iida, Mirio Togata, & Tomura Shigaraki

WARNING: NSFW, suggestive content NOTE: This is a repost of an old SHITPOST headcanon I had on my previous account so if this looks familiar I hope you enjoy it the second time around!

“Nobody will know...”

Shinso

Shinso would go to his grave claiming that you were to blame for this situation

But in all honesty, he had been allowing things to build for far too long

You two weren’t necessarily a secret, but most people just assumed you were bEsT fRiEnDs 🥴

It was an honest misunderstanding

You had decided to keep physical contact to a minimum after an unfortunate attempt at holding his hand left you believing he didn’t enjoy any forms of PDA.

Shinso had just assumed the same about you.

However, as the two of you grew more serious, you found it more difficult to keep your hands to yourself

It just so happened your boyfriend had been working extremely hard in the hero course and it s h o w e d

You had found yourself admiring his changing physique and in turn, found you weren’t the only one admiring your boyfriend.

You weren’t necessarily jealous— you trusted him more than anything, but he tended to be socially constipated

And nobody seemed to know about you. Thus giving the other interested parties an unintentional greenlight to flirt with him. And there was one girl that had stood out among the sea of suitors.

Each time you saw the second-year girl perch next to Shinso it made your skin crawl, but no lines had been crossed.

Until they were.

Your knuckles were gripping the strap of your bag so tightly it ached when you made your way to where your boyfriend was perched outside

The second-year didn’t even acknowledge you as she continued her flirtatious ways and you don’t resist the urge to roll your eyes as you settle into the place next to him.

He had flashes you a lazy smile before focusing back on his phone screen.

Then her hand landed on his upper thigh

Let me tell you: sleepy boy was shocked when she touched him, but he was EVEN MORE SHOCKED when you took her by the wrist and tossed her hand to the side

You waste no time threading your fingers with his, rising to your feet and all but hauling him from his seat

His amusement only grew as he realized just how jealous you had gotten, a smirk forming over his lips as he set to teasing you

‘What’s the matter, kitty? You don’t like anyone touching daddy?’

NO, YOU DO NOT

You have no idea how you ended up on your knees in a supply closet??

Shinso is feeling very sure of himself above you, using the hand that was gripping the back of your neck as leverage to hold you down on his length

k i n g of dirty talk 🤭

Absolutely cannot help himself when it comes to telling you how pretty you look choking on his cock

Honestly doesn’t last long, but what do you expect? Seeing your jealous and possessive response to the girl he had given little to no acknowledgment had lit a fire in his chest

He was desperate to get his hands on you, to remind you that he was just as much yours as you were his.

And when he does— oh MAN he makes you forget all about the second-year girl

He has one of your legs draped over his shoulder as he goes down on you, licking and sucking at you in a way that had you trembling

You accidentally knock over a pile of brooms and mops, neither of you paying them any mind as your head lulled in bliss

If only you had remembered to flick the lock on the door…

Kirishima really thought someone was banging on the door for help. It wouldn’t have been manly— or heroic not to make sure someone wasn’t in trouble

Besides, why else would someone be making so much noise in a supply closet if they weren’t stuck??

So when the door swung open and he locked eyes with you, still panting and moaning as an all too familiar head of purple hair buried further into your heat—

He let out the loudest shout he could muster. Apologies poured from his mouth as he fumbled to shut the door

However, your boyfriend made no move to let you go. Instead, he hummed against your skin, only leaning back to nip at your inner thigh before speaking in a heavy voice

‘Better make this fast, kitty.’

Iida

So you’ve tried to keep your relationship on the down-low bc Iida doesn’t want anyone to think he’s distracted

We all know he just doesn’t wanna be called out for his obvious favoritism

Before you got together you were constantly pushing him, breaking minuscule rules in favor of gaining his attention. Nothing too immoral, but enough to get under his skin.

Like slipping into class just seconds after the bell had rung, nearly avoiding Aizawa’s attention, but never making it past Iida.

Or when a class had gotten a bit too stressful, the room filling with hot air as tensions rose and you had to pop open a few buttons of your uniform top

Then there was your favorite offense; desk sitting. If there was one sure way to get a reaction from your stickler of a boyfriend it was to place yourself on top of a desk.

Which is what you found yourself doing at the end of an unfavorable week. The two of you hadn’t gotten a moment together outside of your studies and you were growing needy.

So with a few moments of free time before class began, you decided to chat with Tsu and Uraraka, settling atop the desk between them when you had grown tired of standing

The desk belonging to none other than Tenya

Your ankles were crossed as you leaned forward to speak with Tsuyu and he was beyond s h o o k

Immediate hand chopping.

He’s towering over you, ranting about how your behavior was improper while keeping his hands clenched in an attempt to keep from running his fingertips along your thighs.

When was the last time you were this close to him? It had to have been longer than he realized for him to have such a strong reaction— are you biting your lip??

Any response between you died off as Aizawa addressed the class and you were sent back to your seat, leaving Iida far more frazzled than you realized

The moment class ends he has you tucked under an empty stairwell to continue his lecture

Only he doesn’t get very far

Tenya Iida has an authority kink. I take no criticism.

When you look up at him from under your lashes, muttering the words ‘yes sir’ as he chastised you, his resolve was shattered

Has you pressed against the wall immediately, fisting your blazer as he dips to press his forehead to yours

‘Why must you push me?’

Doesn’t even let you answer before his mouth is covering yours, hips arching to grind his obvious arousal against you

Knowing he had been just as affected by your as you had him was enough to spur a moan past your lips and he takes the chance to slide his tongue into your mouth

Although he was MORTIFIED at the impropriety of it all, he couldn’t resist the sweet noises you made as he expertly worked against you

His hand eventually slides between you, pushing past the waistband of your bottoms and grinding his palm against you teasingly

‘Now, who do you belong to, darling?’

You you youyouyou—

Your hand was rubbing along Iida’s hard cock, his length straining against his pants to the point you’re almost worried they’ll rip

Somehow the two of you had been so lost in one another that you hadn’t heard the door open at the top of the stairwell

Denki and Mineta honestly weren’t creeping this time— they just wanted a snack from the vending machine adjacent to you!

Got a whole ass meal instead 👁👄👁

A moan tore from your throat, quickly being smothered by Tenya’s parted lips as you came on his fingers

You had barely made out the echoing sound of objects clattering to the ground through the ringing in your ears

But your boyfriend had heard

His lips separated from you in an instant, shocked gaze shifting into something closer to anger as he recognized your classmates

Denki began stammering out an apology, looking close to short-circuiting as his attention flickered between you

Mineta had let his gaze linger on you for too long. His eyes taking in the way your exposed chest— Tenya must have pulled the buttons loose

You cringe away from his gaze, post-orgasm haze™ spurring you to tuck yourself closer to Tenya to avoid their stares rather than snap at them

It was your obvious discomfort that had kicked Iida into gear, twisting to thread your button your blouse together before rounding on the others

If embarrassment wasn’t enough, the thought of them having seen you in such a vulnerable position had him seething as he began his lecture

Attempts hand chopping them into submission, but they kept disregarding his words in favor of catching another glimpse of you in a fucked out state

All fondness for his classmates had vanished as he stepped into their line of sight, shielding you from their gazes. His eyes almost daring them to continue

Whatever words lingering on their tongues died off, heads bowing in shame as they agreed to keep the entire situation to themselves

After all, the potential wrath of Tenya Iida was not something to be taken lightly.

Mirio

Mirio’s love language is touch, without a doubt, so it’s honestly surprising when he’s NOT trying to get handsy with you

He’s always defended his obvious displays of affection by claiming he had so little free time— he’d be a fool to waste the opportunity to touch you!

Mirio jumped at the opportunity to feel you against him. Whether it was a heavy kiss to your lips after walking you to class, a hand slipping under your shirt to caress your back, or his fingers trailing teasingly along your thigh.

However, as much as he was attentive, he was also forgetful.

It was because of that forgetfulness that you found yourself alone in your dorm. Countless boxes of takeout were lined up on your desk and a pre-planned movie was ready to play on your small tv.

After a few hours and countless delivered messages, you succumbed to disappointment.

The following day Mirio can’t seem to figure out why you’re avoiding him, but he refuses to give up without a fight.

Definitely thinks it’s a game of some sort and takes it upon himself to break your silent streak

It wasn’t easy being upset with Mirio. He had an uncanny ability to brighten any room he stepped into and being irrevocably in love with him only strengthened his effect

He’s always hard for you and loves letting you know just how you affect him— so why not place a hand on your hand, pressing firmly against your back when he slips past?

You always look so stunning— why not feed you compliments at every given moment?

How could he not look at you with the most iNTENSE GAZE undressing you with his eyes in front of everyone?

It’s when he realizes that you aren’t reacting to his teasing and flirtatious behaviorist that he caves.

He finds you between classes, stirring you away from the crowd, despite your wordless protests. It isn’t until you’re tucked away in an abandoned hall that he finally asks what was wrong

You had fully intended on dragging it out, allowing anger to push you on. But he spoke to you in the softest voice, looked at you with eyes filled with so much devotion that it was nearly overwhelming

He is shocked when you shove him away— were you tearing up??

Actually gets super defensive because he doesn’t realize HES the one that made you upset

Once you finally cave and remind him about the date he had missed it hits him like a freight train.

The two of you so rarely got time together and he had stood you up.

‘I’m so sorry, baby. I’ve been so busy lately— I didn’t realize I was neglecting you.’

Does not waste time making it up to you. He cups your face in his hands as he starts placing soft kisses on your face, cooing softly as tears roll down your cheeks

Did somebody say praise kink?

How can you stay mad at him when he’s telling you how sorry he is and that he loves you and you’re the only one his dick will get hard for??

It isn’t long before he’s pinned you between him and the wall, hitching your legs around his waist while coaxing you into a heavy kiss

His hips flex to grind against you, his hot length slotting between your thighs as he digs his fingertips into the curve of your ass

Mirio does not care that somebody could see— his quirk leaves him naked all the time and he’s shameless 🥵

But again he’s so forgetful—

And he was meant to go straight to class 1A to talk with them alongside the other members of The Big Three

So when he didn’t show up Aizawa had sent Tamaki and Midoriya in search of their future number one hero

How were you supposed to know they would turn the corner just as you arched from the wall?

Mirio had no idea anyone was there as he used the hand that was wrapped around your throat as leverage to grind you over the edge—

bOY were you embarrassed when you heard the two boys audibly g a s p

Midoriya’s embarrassment nearly gave Tamaki a run for his money. You were quick to turn away, immediately hiding your face in his chest as he greeted the duo in an overly cheerful voice

Absolutely teases the three of you over the incident FOREVER!!

Shigaraki

Shigaraki was obsessed with you.

There was no way around how infatuated he had become and it only seemed to grow alongside your relationship

He was touch starved. The moment you began giving him physical affection and attention it was game over

He had no shame, especially when it came to his desire for you, which is how you often found yourself perched on his lap no matter the company.

That being said, the leader of the League of Villains became intolerable when the two of you were separated for long.

And a recent spiral of events has prevented you from returning to the hideout, thus leaving the others to deal with him

You weren’t expected to return until the following week. Aside from texting Shigaraki endlessly (didn’t he have anything better to do?) and assuring Twice and Toga that you’d be returning as soon as possible, you hadn’t had much contact with the League

Shigaraki was wound up tight, lashing out at the others far more than usual. That was how he ended up sitting at the bar, Father concealing his annoyance as Kurogiri took over the meeting.

And suddenly you were walking in, muttering a quick apology before taking the only available seat beside Toga

Shigaraki could not keep his eyes off of you, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by the others. It was the most present he had been since you left.

Of course, that meant Dabi has also noticed and never missing an opportunity to mess with their ruthless leader he shifted closer from his place behind you, muttering small talk into your ear

There is no doubt in my mind that Shigaraki was staring at you both like 😠 behind Father

Luckily the meeting had been wrapping up upon your arrival and the group was dismissed, many leaving to handle their own business.

However, the moment you had leaped to your feet Tomura had vanished from the room

With a sigh you moved over to the bar, sliding into the seat that had once been occupied by your man and Kurogiri placed a drink before you

By the time you had downed the last bit the bar had gotten eerily quiet, though when you shifted to speak to the Misty Man he was already looking over your shoulder. With a single nod, he had left the room.

The moment he was gone leather artist gloves shoved under your top, your heart racing at the all too familiar feeling as a palm settled between your shoulders

‘I’ve missed you, pet.’

There was a harsh tone to his voice, but it was contradicted by the trail of open-mouthed kisses he pressed along your neck and shoulder

Your entire body arched against him, head craning back to catch a glimpse of him, smiling widely as you met his gaze and returned the sentiment

A scoff slid past his lips, though you could see the amusement dancing in his gaze as his hand reached around to wrap around your throat

Despite the gloves, he kept a pinky in the air

His mouth covers yours in a sloppy kiss as his hips jolt sharply against you, knocking you against the countertop

Absolutely cannot control himself as he ruts against you, wasting little to no time in pushing your bottoms down past your thighs

Heat pooled in your stomach as his free hand reached between you to pull himself from his jeans

His dick slid between your thighs, a throaty whine sliding past your lips and despite the slick from your arousal the thick head stretched you perfectly

You had been completely lost in him, moaning and whining freely as he continued to rut against you.

There was a click throughout the room, similar to the door handle being twisted and your attention was adverted to the source

However, Shigaraki was faster.

He grabbed the back of your head and using his hold as leverage to press your face flat against the bar-top while his other hand worked against your sensitive center. A loud moan that was undoubtedly his name tumbled past your lips

‘There’s my little slut— louder, make sure they know who makes you feel this good.’

Unbeknownst to you, the person he wanted to be sure knew you were his had entered the room, Tomura meeting his gaze with a smirk as you began chanting his name like a prayer

A harsh thrust of his hips sent you over the edge as you came on his cock, filthy praises slipping past his lips as his hot release rolled down your thighs

He placed another sloppy kiss on the back of your neck before parting from you.

The moment you lift your head and begin adjusting yourself you lock eyes with Dabi

Embarrassed didn’t even begin to explain how you felt as Tomura let out a loud laugh, reaching down to pull your bottoms up after he had tucked himself away

‘Go wait on my bed while I speak with Dabi and I may let you come on my tongue.’

You wasted no time hurrying away from the two, heart pounding from both excitement and humiliation as you rushed to do as you were told

#iida x reader #mirio x reader #shigaraki x reader #shinso x reader #tenya x reader #mirio headcanons #iida headcanons #shinso headcanons #shigaraki headcanons #my hero academia #my heado academia headcanons

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Alright, so here goes, the jesus stabbing story. It's a ride, so don't say I didn't warn you.

So, what you may not know from my just going based off my shitpost edits and the fact that I may not have brought it up before, but I have many siblings. I'm actually the second of eight. And most of my siblings are pretty tame, if annoying.

Most of them.

The one that's buckwild is my eldest sibling, my older brother. He is principally two things. The first is that he is dangerous and malicious. To give you an idea of what I mean, he once locked my in a dryer for half an hour and wouldn't let me out, busted my tooth in a pillow fight gone very wrong, and is so far going 3-for-3 on sending me to the hospital for stitches.

His other predominant trait is that he is incredibly stupid. He once sprayed a hose on the VCR to "clean it up", hid a huge box of chocolate bars behind some drywall thinking he would be able to retrieve it later (he didn't), and thought he could drive a car to McD's at the age of twelve, only to crash into the neighbor's yard.

Putting these things together, it makes it a little less mysterious as to how he managed to get himself a five-year ban from the state of Florida, home of Florida Man.

So, bearing this in mind, I have no response other than I want whatever my parents were smoking at about seventeen/eighteen years ago when they made the decision to entrust him with setting up some christmas decorations.

And these weren't any old cheapy cheap shit you get at the bargain bin at wally world christmas decorations.

No, these were handcrafted crystaline figurines to a nativity scene that were gifted to my parents by whomstever. They were the closest thing my family had to a crown jewel in the christmas department

So you can already see that this is gonna end well

And it almost did actually, he set it up with almost no problems.

Almost.

You see, the thing about crystalline figurines is that they're not exactly easy to see, ergo they're also easy to miss and overlook, so nobody noticed anything was initially amiss when one figurine was missing.

We did notice it eventually, but by that time we were too late to do anything about it when we were looking everywhere for it. But like I said, it is very difficult to find something literally made crystal clear, even more so when it had been shattered.

So we do what any sensible american family does in the face of hardship; we shrugged our shoulders and gave up, and that would be the last we would have seen of that particular figurine.

Unless....

....had it not been an ensuing fight a few days later between me and the moron who shattered it and told nobody

I don't really remember what started it, but it must have made me really pissed, because I remember chasing him around the house with a huge stick.

And I'm not talking about running in circles in a living room, no.

I'm talking chasing my brother with a huge stuck to smack him with through the living room out the door into the snow though the window back into the house over the couch up the stairs dodging by making a heelturn though his bedroom back down the stairs into the kitchen rounding the corner past the table on slick linoleum flooring with wet shoes when BAM!

It finally happened, the long awaited moment. I did it. I did what every catholic parent wanted for their children aside from having forty-seven kids and perpetuating the heteronormative cult mentality.

I had found jesus

Unfortunately for me, I found him in the form of a shard of glass embedded an inch into my leg

Like I said, I think all catholic parents want their kids to find jesus but I have a slight suspicion that this wasn't what they had in mind

But I took it as a sign

When the figurehead of a church goes out of their way to stab you, I think it's safe to assume you've been smited and that they don't want you hanging around

So yeah, that's how I was stabbed by jesus and I am now transgender

-Mod Terezi

#not a quote #mod terezi #yeah family gatherings are fun #i was gonna try to do this as an incorrect quote but there's just one crucial problem #all of the HS kids are only children #that's a little weird right? #like yeah i guess they're siblings but for all intents and purposes they were raised as only children

[industriallyinsecure]

Since this is a shitpost hell I hope you hear me out. What do you think would happen if la squadra's darling, wanting a pet but not getting one (or being allergic to them), started treating them like a pet occasionally? Not in a weird fetish way but rather giving head pats, offering them to rest on their lap while they read, watch something or nap or feeding them a snack when they seem to be doing good. Like a silent companion type of affection?

*Zaps them all with a catboy laser* problem solved

With Sorbet and Gelato you're most likely to be treated like a pet, so you’d probably pick up on their love language too. Gelato loves physical affection while Sorbet is happy with quietly sitting next to you while the TV is on. There’s lots of love to go around, and plenty of loving head pats and back scratches for the three of you. Please give them both the same amount of attention, though. You’ll be accused of favoritism, and Gelato has a rather nasty jealous streak. Sorbet is far more understanding and doesn’t complain when you give Gelato more domestic sweetness than him. Gelato is needy, but he’s more than happy to let his tesorino take his share of your affection.

Risotto isn’t a cuddler. Even though he was deprived of it as a child, he still didn’t force you to touch him or force you to let him hold you. It was already like living with a cat in a sense. He tended to watch from afar, eyes fixed on your every move. It’s when you called him over to rest in your lap that his opinion changed. You took his hat and put it on, tracing his buzzed undercut and playing with his messy mop of snowy hair. It would’ve been more therapeutic if he hadn’t locked up and stiffened when you did it. Gradually, he came around to having a little bit of loving attention, but always shied away when he had enough. In an odd way, it was cute. A big giant killer who had kidnapped you was shy about being loved on. On days where he was particularly stressed or didn’t want to be touched because he was still on high alert, you’d attempt to stand on a surface to make yourself taller and gently pat his head.

Ghiaccio is already pretty much like a cat. He’s temperamental, only lets you touch him on his terms, and is very aloof. There’s a high chance he already rests his head in your lap after a long day, but you gently combing through his curls was new, and surprisingly not unwelcome. He did get a little pissy when you started to gently rub his ears when he ranted though. He looked it up the day before and found it was a way to soothe anxiety and promptly started denying that he was anxious in any way and didn’t need your comfort. It was...tense, to say the least, when he put his head in your lap the next time. Of course, growing used to your gentle petting, he was miffed when you didn’t give him the attention that he wanted. He starts to headbutt and place your hand on his head. Absolutely do NOT feed him anything! Even as a joke! He might bite you.

Melone loves it!! He’s a very big believer in physical affection and will melt in your arms if you stroke his back while he works. And he’ll be over the moon if you play with his hair! His favorite is if you two are wrapped up in warm blankets with a rom-com or comedy movie on so he can snuggle close and be loved on. One of his favorite cheesy couple things to do is to feed each other little bites of things. If he can get away with it, he’ll rest his head in your palm and just smile at you. Likely to return your mannerisms and love all over you if you let him. But if you don’t, he’ll whine about you not being fair and being a tease. You’ve made your bed, so now you have to lie in it, next to a very cuddly Melone. Make remarks about him being like a cat at your own risk.

Prosciutto is also very catlike. He won’t let you touch his head, he doesn’t like to curl up with you (even in private), and hates being “infantilized” as he calls it. Poor man is so touch starved that his definition of infantilize is doing normal lovey dovey couple stuff like feeding each other small bites of food and such. Yet he still loves the attention, even if he’s being prissy about it. He likes to let you indulge in your little petting for a while before abruptly stopping you with his hand when he’s had enough. Not that he’ll ever admit, but he likes it when you gently undo his hair. He enjoys being pampered, but only when he wants the pampering, which isn’t very often. Once in a while he’ll let you snuggle up to him and stroke and pet his chest, back, etc.. Eventually you do get to feed him some charcuterie (not prosciutto though because that’s cannibalism). All in all he’s very good about letting you know when he wants attention and when he wants to admire you from the balcony while he lights up another cigarette.

Pesci is used to being manhandled by Prosciutto, so your gentle touches startled him at first. He loves it when you pat his head and poke his cheeks. Snuggle with him, please. Little spoon or big spoon, he doesn’t care. And please, please, please, pat his head!! He likes to have his hair gently ruffled and his cheeks squished. Any sort of positive attention he will appreciate and love. It only fuels his passion and convinces him that taking you was the right decision. He’s your sweet little fish, no matter what happens.

Illuso only allows you to play with his hair if he’s fresh out of the shower or if he’s feeling generous that day. For lack of better words, Illuso is an attention whore but is also very specific about the attention he gets. He likes to be verbally praised and only lets you touch him if he wants to be touched. That being said, there’s a reason the center of his jacket is cut out. He likes to have you stroke and caress his chest and tell him he’s handsome. Secretly, he wants you to fight back and insist on pampering him because he’s just that type of person. If you give in to his secret desire, prepare to have it thrown back in your face when you(inevitably) fight him.

Formaggio is the type to already put his head in your lap and beg for love. He and Melone are the biggest lovers and givers of affection, except Formaggio actively seeks out anything he can get. Putting his head in your lap, snuggling close in bed, pressing up against you from behind; there’s not much he won’t do for just the slightest touch. He melts in your arms if you gently scratch his head or pet him. His pet names for you will always outweight your pet-treatment of him, though. Such names include: hunny bunny, snuggle bug, sugar pie. All in all, it’s pretty wholesome if you look over the fact that he’s forced you into a relationship.

#la squadra di esecuzione #yandere sorlato #yandere risotto nero #yandere ghiaccio #yandere melone #yandere prosciutto #yandere pesci #yandere illuso #yandere formaggio #yandere jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo’s bizzare adventure x reader #la squadra x reader #prosciutto x reader #melone x reader #ghiaccio x reader #pesci x reader #illuso x reader #sorlato x reader #formaggio x reader #risotto nero #ghiaccio #melone #prosciutto #pesci #illuso #formaggio

[chipper-asks]

Any tips on how to grow your own blog by chance?

Aah man I've written a response to this kind of question many times but I always delete it because I'm afraid of coming off as self centered or arrogant, but I definitely have some tips on what works and doesn't work (on tumblr.)

I will say that I never believed I would get to the "Big Fandom Artist" stage. I've seen people drop my name in conversations or descriptions and just assume other people know who I am and that's still incredibly wild to me. I never really pushed to get a big blog it really just happened.

But! I do have rules and personal guidelines that might help if you are thinking of actively building your blog!

1: Keep personal information and vent posts to a minimum

It should go without saying that its not a good thing for your personal information to be on the internet. Once its out there its near impossible to erase. This is for your own safety.

Vent posts give out more information than you might think, but also some people who are following you may be going through difficult times themselves. I go on the internet to get away from my stressors and problems and i've specifically catered my dashboard to reflect my desires. I have no doubt others are the same.

I've unfollowed mutuals because they vented too frequently. I enjoyed what they made! But it stressed me out to read their vent posts because I couldn't help. I realized it was taking a toll on my mental health and I made the tough decision to unfollow.

It is very tempting to vagueblog because its nice getting out all the angry feelings, but a blog with thousands of people following it is not the place to do it.

2: Shitpost vs Quality Foley

I could go into a massive essay on this alone (ive even written out an outline already) but i'll keep it as brief as I can.

Throughout my time on Tumblr I’ve seen a number of posts of artists complaining about the lack of notes on their serious work compared to the abundance of notes on their shitposts.

This is because Tumblr IS a place of shitposts. It's like squeezing a clown nose and expecting it not to honk.

However! It's more complicated than that and i've broken it up into four parts organized by importance.

A. Relevance/Meta: Is it something that people are already familiar with? Is it something that's currently going on?

People want to enjoy things they're already familiar with. For example, people getting into Hollow Knight are more likely to follow a blog that posts HK content regularly over a HK blog that posted a picture of Grimm once and then is full of original content. It's not that people don't like your original stuff, its just not what they're looking for.

If you like striking while the iron is hot, meta jokes are the way to go. Making references to games like Among Us during the height of its popularity for example would get you lots of notes.

B. Hilarity

Is it funny? Does it subvert expectations?

Shitposts will always be more popular than a well drawn post. People like to laugh and share things that laugh. A cool, well drawn post is more often than not met with a "hm, cool. scrolls down."

This is a polished comic I made 10 months ago. I'm very proud of it and i'm pleased with the amount of attention it got. It took me 2 days to finish.

This is a shitpost I made 3 years ago that I still haven't been able to top. It took me 30 minutes to make.

That's not to say a well drawn post can get popular! It's just that people enjoy a good laugh over something shiny. This is a factor of knowing your audience. Some things land better than others and you'll be better off if you just roll with what you get.

I will say tho I appreciate the people who reblog my oc posts 200x more than people who reblog my shitposts and fanart. Those are quality followers and you must cherish them.

C. Appeal

Is it cute? Is it fluffy? Is the design easy to understand? Does it make people emotional? Is it angsty? Is it relatable?

People like cute shit. People like things that make them hurt (albeit not too much). People like things that they can see themselves in.

D. Skill

There is some merit in being good at what you do. People do like funny things more than shiny things, but shiny things are cool too.

If you post things that are funny? You're normal horoscopes.

If you post things that are well drawn? (its really telling that I can't think of someone right off the top of my head)

If you post things that are funny AND well drawn? Well then you're iguanamouth

3: Know your boundaries.

There's a difference between being understanding/tagging things correctly and catering to people who want you to be someone else.

I know that many people get upset with others who gender the vessels in Hollow Knight. While it doesn't bother me, I can recognize the misgendering of vessels as a source of dysphoria and I tag accordingly.

If someone comes into my inbox and tells me to stop drawing a character because they're "problematic," I'm just going to block them and go about my day.

4: This is your blog, its your rules.

I'm apologetically myself on my blog. I post what I want and what inspires me. The reason why I have so many AUs is because its my blog and I like AUs. If a large portion of the fandom doesn't like my AUs, its their loss, I make great AUs.

In fact, its just a good mindset in general to have. If some people don't like what you make, its not your problem. It makes you happy and it makes hundreds of others happy then continue to do what you do. It's impossible to have a large following and not have someone who dislikes you purely out of spite.

Make stuff for yourself, not because you want numbers.

5: Don't feed the trolls.

If someone sends you hate, take a picture of it, share it with your friends, laugh, block the person, delete message, move on with your life.

It's really fun to feed the trolls, but feeding trolls attracts more trolls and soon its not fun anymore. Just laugh when you get your first anon hate, maybe frame it in your room, and don't even acknowledge them with a "fuck you."

6: Recognize your position.

This is more advice for when you do get a big blog. You get to a point when you realize you have a portion of your audience who value much more than a regular human being and are willing to take up arms for you.

Do. Not. Weaponize. Your audience.

It's incredibly shitty and can ruin peoples lives.

7: Post Frequency/Schedule

Now this is one I can't do. It's normal for me to become incredibly active for 2 weeks and then end up posting nothing for a month. I don't have the patience to build up a queue of new things.

However! If you have more discipline than me, posting daily or twice a week builds up anticipation for your next post. You're dependable and people have the chance to look forward to seeing something from you on their dash on Friday.

Thats all I can think of so far.

There's no TL;DR you'll miss my important advice within these tips.

#nofandom #long post

[lutiaskokopelli]

I’m pretty sure at least 90% of my followers have at least heard of the Feral/ShitLord AU so far, but just in case some of you haven’t, it’s an AU made by @chipper-smol and it’s everything a Hollow Knight AU should ever dream to be. Stupid and simple in concept, leaves enough room for a humongous amount of random shenanigans and heartfelt moments between characters who are all awesome in their own ways and try their best... All in all, everything that I love about a story. The perfect mix betwen Hilarity & Reality ensue.

If y’all like my comic series but somehow don’t know their AU yet? Go check them out! It’s even better, and without the random parodic 4th-wall-breaking OC thrown in!

(By the way I’m really sorry for all the rambling and shitpost that follows, I’ll put the rest below the cut x’D I just can’t help it, when I get on a theory rampage then nothing can stop me lmao. Headcanons and conspiracies below! Also some more shitpost and hand-drawn memes while I’m at it)

So. *cracks fingers* Now that the introductions are out of the way... It’s time to crack open this AU’s core problem. This is a “[REDACTED] goes back in time somehow and uses this opportunity to change fate around them earlier on” AU, the keyword here being “somehow.” So far, I still have no idea whether this “somehow” means that Chipper-smol doesn’t know yet what the means is, or if they have their own idea but never revealed it yet for personal/plot reasons.

(Btw just to be clear, the first option is totally valid, I absolutely dig that this is an AU made for fun! And hey, even if I’m a conspiracy theorist when it comes to making fictional plots, I too have had to make a point with TFS of NOT going further down into answering plot questions than necessary. Otherwise I’d lose my sanity like I did with my dozens of previous stories lmao. It’s my personal guilty pleasure to add lore into every single thing despite how much time and energy it sometimes takes out of me, but the downside to that is that, yeah, once you go down the rabbit hole but forget the ladder, you’re gonna have a hard time climbing back up. I’m doing this whole post here for fun, but I hope it won’t pressure anyone into thinking “this is how the AU should go” or anything. This post has just some random tween rambling here, nothing else to see here haha)

Anyway, back to the point. For now, there is no canonical answer as to how Feral/Ghost were able to go back in time.

Time to answer it >:)

Soooooo for the longest time, until I took more time today to think it over, my first idea was rather close to what I already am using for TFS -- as in, since it’s canonically established that there’s a huge amount of Dream/Nightmare realm-related areas with many purposes, one of which being the Shrine of Believers which technically breaks the fourth wall and everything... I guess, canonically, pretty much everything related to Dreams may or may not be Applied Phlebotinum. So, why the heck not, dream shenanigans could or couldn’t have sent Ghost back in time. Maybe. I guess that’s about as likely as a flying talking transdimensional mushroom referencing previous or possibly future games Team Cherry has made.

But now... I think I found a better idea. Kinda?

Let’s go back on how things went -- or at least, what I’ve gathered of it so far. Feral/Ghost got to see Godhome and became the Shade Lord at a certain point, defeating Radiance in the process. Then, they somehow went back in time and ended up all the way down in the Abyss, climbing back up at the same time as the Hollow Knight does. They both get taken in by the Pale King, and that’s when Feral/Ghost realizes that they are, in fact, in the past.

Now... There’s one thing I remember being said about the void. It “could deny Time.” Sure, it’s said by the Pale King under the probable context that it’s meant to help Hallownest remain eternal through putting the Infection under a stasis, not that Void actually has time-related powers. But... It’d be fun to at least consider taking that sentence literally, I guess.

And now, the third theory. One that I came to like the most, not gonna lie.

What if... It was all because of a single, little, flower. Just picture the cutscene: the Lord of Shade appears, obliterates the Radiance, then takes a hold of the Godseeker in an attempt to reach reality -- and then poof. Nothing. Nothing except for that tiny pale flower, decaying as it seems to have used the last of its life force.

The Delicate Flower sure is a strange and mysterious artifact. It comes from a land beyond Hallownest, it is sometimes described as “Pale” as well (I think? Don’t @ me for it), and most of all, the White Lady alludes to its “rare power” to the extent that she adds, “To hold it so close, one must surely be unaware of its nature...”

So yeah. For all we know, “sending the Void back in time” hasn’t yet been ruled out of the list of things that the Delicate Flower could have done to make Godseeker and the Shade Lord disappear completely. Right? :p

Now the question that goes with that though is, if we go down that rabbit hole all the way through... Did Godseeker go back in time too???

Now I can only picture what a thrown-back-in-time Godseeker could possibly do. Probably leave the junkpit at least, which would explain why it’d take so long before Feral/Ghost finds her. Possibly preach the Shade Lord’s almighty power to whoever wants to listen to her, too. Who knows. 

This last paragraph has absolutely nothing to do with all the above, but I have one last question, just because. It is at the very least Extremely Likely in this AU that Feral/Ghost isn’t hollow at all, so I kinda wonder if the Radiance ever tried to visit their dreams (as well as Hollow’s while we’re at it) long before Hollow is ready to be sealed. I mean, either Radiance is too scared of visiting their dreams because even if they aren’t hollow they are still partially made of void; or, she realizes they aren’t hollow and that she can thus maybe try to infect them too. Just throwing random ideas here. Although I’d rather go with the first option for Void-vs-Radiance reasons, one cannot deny that it’d be hilarious to at least imagine what an early encounter between Radiance and Feral could be. Feral has been labelled as such by the Pale King’s Court. The people Feral wants to protect. Now, just what amount of f*ckery could Feral even reach with someone they actually want to destroy? (unless, of course, they take the Radiance 100% seriously and don’t want to do anything to her until they get access once more to their Shade Lord powers. That’d be a wise and tactical option. It’s just a shame that Feral hasn’t really been proven to have both of those skills so far in the AU lmao)

Extra: After seeing Ghost get a teen form in the Feral AU I could no longer resist. I had to draw Player getting one too, even if that’s never gonna happen.

anyway here it is i’m done lmao. whoever managed to read this far gets a free virtual cookie

#hollow knight comic #hollow knight shitpost #shitpost #shitlordau #the5thsave