#OVER 10 TIMES in the last few days!

[jils-things]

by the lighthouse.

dividers

#alright i suppose i should tell what's up lately! im mostly posting this like a mini update or whatever haha #so - since i made that last post on my disappearance i worked endlessly to finish my animation project and thank goodness it's finally over #i had to take a break from trying to be social here and just stay in my own space and i did that by having a smaller side blog to ramble #the project was very... tiring - definitely took out so much energy from me post physically and mentally and i was just frustrated everyday #so i just took my time to be alone with a few close people and i like to think im okay now? #i like to think so - since i was able to deliver a few commission drafts today so i'm relieved that im back to my usual pace #I'll post a few of my doodles here i did during my project just to fill the void haha #i've acquired a minor familial from another video game and i care for him a lot :] idk ill bother to talk abt it here but yeah thats funnn #also indulging a lil bit of t.n.m.n content as of late also thanks to my friend who knows abt it hehe #soo yeah! I don't know if ill be active like the usual but know that i'm doing alright now! hope everyone's doing okay too xoxo #ill probably still stay in my smaller blog for a little longer but will occasionally pop in here! #sooo yaaa #~ art #♥️ memoryshipping #also yea i think no.rton only had like. 10 days worth of being the blog brand here until i switched back to the usual guy lmaooo sorry 😔

[hinaliix]

LIVIOOOOOO

#trigun #trigun maximum #trigun maximum spoilers #livio the double fang #trigun livio #razlo the trip of death #razlo the tri punisher of death #doodles #my art #livio is such a sweetheart omg he literally is the only thing keeping me going as I finished the end of maximum #I’m still in pain over volume 10… #but anyway! yeah I think he’s neat and I love him so much! #I haven’t had time to draw much over the last few days so this was a nice break #trigun men literally give me such gender envy like sir #mom said it’s my turn to have the gender #aaaaaa anyways I’m rambling again #STAN LIVIO OR ELSE #READ TRIGUN MAXIMUM COWARDS

[wholesomepostarchive]

the most wholesome thing is seeing that the wholesome post blog runner is probably one of the nicest people ever :3 i’m generally Terrified of sending asks especially to a blog that Does Things like this but seeing you talk in the tags instead of just reblogging and moving on makes you seem very friendly and approachable !!!! and i hope u know i appreciate that :] i hope you have a wonderful day and both sides of your pillow are always cool and that if you see a random cat on the sidewalk it won’t run away from U ♡

woah, META-WHOLESOME!! thank ya for the compliment, i try my best to carry out those kinds of traits i value!!!!! i’m SUPER super glad that ya did!!! THANK YOU THANK U!! always appreciating how much of an impact this lil blog has on top of appreciating u for sharing as much with me :-)

it’s always a TRIP getting to hear that something i do that i wasn’t even really mindfully doing makes all the difference?? i’m just really, REALLY grateful for all the different kinds of posts that get sent my way and seeing cool + uplifting + sentimental + OVERALL WHOLESOME posts that i express my thanks + ramble a bit in the tags haha !!

i ALSO hope you have as terrific of a day as you’re able to! and i hope you’ll enjoy seeing more posts pop up!

AND YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE but i got new pillow cases like a week ago THAT DO JUST THAT! AND THERE’S A NEW CAT ON THE STREET WHO HANGS OUT WITH ME SOMETIMES (i’ve been planning to see if he has a microchip, but i know for a fact that the neighbors who feed all the stray cats on our street already have a cage + are well-versed in TNR, so i’ve been thinking about asking them first because the thought that someone could be out there looking for their pal is enough for me to “do it scared”) !! SO THANK U NOT ONLY FOR THE SWEET SENTIMENTS BUT ALSO FOR THE UNEXPECTED HILARITY OVER THE FACT THAT THEY’VE COME TRUE???

#and i get it!! running a gimmick blog (as i’ve heard it be described) is v v different from the other blogs i’ve got going!! #ik i’ve said it in the past but i genuinely think what makes for the lack of ambiance is the fact that i didn’t really? start this blog out #as a gimmick blog in mind?? it was kind of just for me to ‘archive’ Solidly Wholesome posts in one place #by the dates i saw/read through them + let them flow over me. because there’s already a timestamp ya know? #but the Vision was that i’d go through this blog + see that a year ago on a particular day was Important #which is still something i do when i have the the time BUT now i ALSO get sent wholesome posts!!! which WOAH #became a collective effort whether you’ve mentioned me in one post or climbing up to the triple digits now haha!!! i appreciate them all #TRULY :-) #and i’ll also admit that i don’t really remember if i kept the ask + submission channels open because i thought ‘hey maybe i’ll get one #or two someday from someone?’ or if i kinda forgot to close ‘em because i think i only block Anonymous automatically for all the blogs #i’ve got?? THAT will probs be a mystery for a long time to come if not forever BUT am glad it’s all worked out in ways i never saw coming!! #also APOLOGIES FOR NOT ONLY RAMBLING IN THE TAGS BUT THE ASK!! #Apple Pie is defs a priority for me rn and i’ve done some research + talked to my neighbors about TNR being the best bet in our area #last we spoke anyhow which was some time ago #also my parents apparently got into taking stray cats to a TNR program a few cities over so i’ll ask ‘em too probably??? #BUT FIRST THING’S FIRST: checking for a microchip #10/13/2023 #asks #wholesomepostarchive

[castielafflicted]

distinct possibility that things are going to start to get very bad for me in a few days because of medication reasons </3

#zeph posting #my birth control refill got denied bc i hadnt had an appointment in too long but i had no idea about that ahead of time #and i just took my last dose #i scheduled an appointment and the guy says they probably will do another refill since its a few weeks out #but! its not a sure thing #and i wont know until at the latest thursday #and so ! #this is the thing that keeps my mental health stable even moreso than the mood stabalizer #and also makes sure my physical health doesnt get horrifically worse for like 10 days a month #over 10 bc i have to recover too #so ill either be fine! or have to wait until like january 15th before i feel okay again #this is very bad to happen at christmas bc i have to be around people and do things #so i just. god if they dont give me a refill #if u see me say im posting from the ER after christmas its bc i dont have them and got suicidal </3

[thethingything]

I used the prescription toothpaste and managed to not end up dry heaving for several minutes while brushing my teeth. within about 5 minutes of finishing brushing I start to feel like I'm gonna throw up regardless. I feel shaky and nauseous and I've also almost thrown up so many times while brushing my teeth lately that the act of brushing them now seems to activate our fight or flight respose and I feel like I'm about to start crying. awesome /s.

I really don't know what to do about any of this because I can mention it to our dentist on Thursday but I don't think there are any alternatives that won't just do the same thing

#thoughts #personal #🍬 post #vent post #emetophobia tw #I feel like I've talked about the toothpaste a lot but unfortunately this is a big deal because of how fucked our teeth are #but I genuinely don't think I can handle using this on a regular basis #I feel so unbelievably sick and if we use it every day we start feeling sick all the time and that also makes it hard to eat #which is really triggering now after that 10 months of being ill where our appetite was fucked and we struggled to eat anything #my stomach actually kind of hurts a little bit on top of me feeling really sick #like the food poisoning kind of sensation we had yesterday so I think that was from the toothpaste after all #we try very hard not to swallow any but like it's in your mouth so you can't exactly avoid that fully #my throat feels irritated and weird too actually and I've just realised this might be why we've had a sore throat over the last few days

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

morning me lives with the sins of night me's choices (sleeby)

#the cryptid speaks #the fic's for brink of consciousness: dorian gray syndrome #yknow a 10+ year old hidden object game . super popular super engaging sorta thing right #well apparently to me it is #do i wish i had slept over writing the Entire fic in one go Yes #but yknow what i cant remember the last time i just Wrote like that so ig it gets a half pass #and tbf to me i Have been writing for fic series - ive been working on both lj and bf over the past few days #but not with nearly the same fervor as last night me had for the boc:dgs fic

[eggmeralda]

okay but I am genuinely so unwell about numbers and dates and ages and time and years etc. so I'm blaming all my bad luck on the number 23

#got so paranoid about it that i didn't talk to anyone for the last few weeks and i haven't applied for a job and i'm honestly not doing #anything until i'm safely 24 #idk what 24's gonna be like but it's got a 4 in it so that's a good sign #but then again 14 had a 4 in it and that was a terrible age #but tbf it was a 4 + a 10 which is like. my fav number and my least fav number. so the year just malfunctioned #first 6 months good second 6 months bad #so 24 can fit two 10s but they're not as obvious. but it's a multiple of 4 so i trust it a bit more #4 x 6. idk my feelings on 6 but it's never really done anything too bad to me so yeah. 24 is the safe zone #i blame everything on the number 23 and also my friend's awful ex girlfriend #OKAY SO LIKE i was reading coronation street youtube comments the other day #and people were talking about how characters like terry duckworth and mike baldwin were kind of prats before but then they #had some significantly bad experience and after that they became Absolute prats #like basically what caused their villain origin stories #and i was like oh my god am i gonna turn out like them?? is my friend's ex girlfriend responsible for my villain arc?? #and i have felt myself becoming more negative and unhappy and cynical and bitter over the past few months #and i was like fuckkkkkk no i can't enter my mike baldwin terry duckworth era #bc before whenever a remotely bad thing happened i would just disappear and go back to telling myself there is nothing good with the world #so like for every job i never got and for every time i put something in the group chat and no one replied and every time i made something #and no one cared about it i would just sink deeper into some hole of hatred at the world #i mean. the rsd. like I'd still react to stuff in that way when i was younger and happier but at least back then I'd also #wave at cool clouds and smile at people in public and be like ''fuck i woke up too early and now i Have to take a photo of the sunrise'' #but now i don't do any of that I'm just some bitter cynical bitch who hates everything #so yeah. my 2024 resolution was to reclaim the whimsy i lost at the end of 2022. and so far it's not really going well but at least I'm not #23 anymore #ramble

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#guess who fucking fried 3 very fucking expensive machines today. me. i did #bc a fucking cabled decided to burn out and there was only one little symptom so i switched out the sensor head and inadvertently fried #another instrument. then when i was wait. hang on wtf happened here? and i was trouble shooting. i fried another one. so im down to one #machine. fucking holy christ. one mother fucking cable. a problem i cant fucking control and then i just fucking spred the problem #god dammit. which means i either have to do 20 additional days or we cut the number of reps to 7 or 8 #and because of this. ive Disrupted the plans of 4 different labs bc it takes at least 3 months for them to do calibration #ugh. i was so angry. whatever. its fine. these things happen in labs and u kinda just have to deal with it. i dont really feel bad on a #personal level bc ive been working with these things for like 4 years and if i mishandled the problem something was pretty fucked up #bc ive fixed a lot of fucking problems on those machines. bleh. and as im like simmering with rage my family is texting eachother like #yayyy vacation soon ☺️ #ugh. its just so frustrating bc i onlu had like 7 days left and i could have got thru all 10 reps. its gonna b maddening on one machine #ans ill have to do more when i fucking get back from vacation when i want it fucking done now but whatever ive bought #my fucking plane tickets and i leave in less than 2 weeks. plus ill get to spend at least one day at home #god im gonna be such a fucking bummer tho. im gonna get of the plane and my fam will b like how r u? and im gonna b like not fucking great #i am barely a functional person and im sure ill b so stressed abt thr fact i have to come back here that ill b on edge the whole time bc #thsts what happened over winter break. whatever. next weekend ill b fucking outta here for like 11 days #and just a few more months until i can leave for good. never walk into thst fucking building again. not that i have anything ready for thst #move. bc again. im barely a functional person #god. now i have to fucking ask for thr stupid bottom of the chamber for this last machine. i swear to christ if i have to fucking drive #down to [redacted] i fucking dont even kno #unrelated

[orcelito]

Water Posting

#speculation nation #scenery #nature #there r more pics than just this but i took a Lot. this is a focus on the water. #the last 2 is where it got real deep and i was at knee height in water #i went right up to that waterfall and stuck my head under. 10/10 would recommend. #that section in the 2nd to bottom row is where i crouched down to just let it wash over my arms #i am flexible and i Did use it to just stick my arms and legs in the water while still crouching #4th pic was a water rapids kinda thing. along the path leading to the deeper water it's Just Water #and theres the section there where it's a surprisingly deep stream. u could go around or kinda waddle over it #OR u could be like me and just walk right in. i did that twice. loved it both times. #a few times throughout the day i slipped a bit but i never actually fell. i got that Good Balance. #god i love this state park so much. one of my favorite things about living around here. #🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 i love Hikinggg

[nomaishuttle]

IM A LITTLE WORRIED THO BC LIKE. I DONT HAVE A LOT TO TALK ABT AT ALL..

#i havent rly Done anything whatsoever. im literally the unemployed friend #HOPEFULLY NOT FOR LONG. KNOCK KNOCK (sound of me knocking on wood) #but im worried theyll be like Soooo hows washington ^-^ and ill just be like umm. well. there is a window in my room. Whichh is pretty cool #<- joke i have like. been outside of the house a couple times... #very few actually. but its okay #going to see family will FIX ME. and when i come back ill HOPEFULLY (knock knock) have a job. whichll be great #and then ill be so busy and making money that i wont even have time to be depressed anymore #bc its FULLTIME !!! #8 hour shift 5 days a week 😏 soo yeah. my bones r gonna be sore 😏😏😏 #but ill get over it and cope eventually. AND ill get to be somewhere other than The house 💀 #i do like our house but i think im being driven insane just being here all the time. sometimes i sit on the porch #and like once every couple of weeks i go out for whatever reason. if i didnt SLEEP IN so much maybe id be able t run errands with hal more #butterlass. no i do rly need t fix it #im hoping going back t ky for a bit will kickstart it bc likee. when i first got here i was actually sleeping like..perfect schedule mode #id go to bed around 10-12 and wake up around 7-9. which is ideal.. #BUT #Even if that doesnt. the job (knock knock) will force me t keep schedule #which is great. my last job aaaabsolutely forced me t keep schedule and it was rly rly nice.. #no matter how late i stayed up i ALWAYS woke up on time. which is good. and i nevee rly had 2 nap after #im so excited for my workday schedule to come back bc i miss the routine of it #even tho the routine was rly just In the morning and the rest was a free for all.. #ill also. this time around. make sure t include my morning meds and brushing my TEEF... bc i need t grt better abt that #im also gonna try n shower more often.. ive been managing abt every 3 days which im rly rly proud of bc its rly hard 4 me #but hopefullyy. with my schedule 😏😏 i could do daily showers... #prolly after work showers even. bc that sounds so nice #its judt hard bc Also after work the last thinng i want 2 do is be standing. bc i get so achy.. esp after an 8 hour shift #hopefully this job will be noce though. IF I GET IT. KNOCK KNOCK #i need t not like. place all my eggs in this basket bc if i dont get it im gonna be fucking crushed #but im rly rly rly hopeful. like reaaaally hopeful... #teehee :]] basically yayyy

[lauradonnelly]

tas my beloved are you okay 🥺💕

my sweet fyscka 🥺

#in all seriousness tho #it has Been A Day #i think today is the most i’ve cried since the finale aired 10 years ago??? #such an emotional day for me #for all of us really #i went through the over 100 pages i have in my ‘the end’ tag and relived so many emotions 😭 #and i’ve admittedly felt a little disconnected from merlin over the last few months #and i’m not sure why #but today reminded me of how important that show will always be to me #and now it’s irreparably damaged my psyche (lol) #but anyway!! #i am doing…ok #not great #like i’m so exhausted from all the tears and my eyes are so dry #and im #emotionally wiped out #but honestly i am just so proud of the fandom for persevering after a freaking decade of no new content #and as emotionally taxing as today was #it was the first time in a long time where my dash and the tags were flooded with endless merlin #and that made me really happy #just to know that our little fandom is still hanging in there #waiting for arthur to rise again 🥺 #i love you fyscka thank you for checking on me 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛 #feuxx #tas replies to things #lovely people

[carryonmylovelies]

omg hey hotties 😭😭 im back !

#sooooooooooooo anyways not me dropping off the face of the earth for like the entire summer vwkqmqjdhsowjwjwjenkwhwk #just had to die for a little bit u know....disappear into the abyss and all that #pls look away from all the shit im abt to throw into these tags 😁 unless u want 2 read my cringe oversharing essay for the day 👍 #my summer was so silly 😍 ummmmm lets see i lost my fulltime job at the daycare bc the owner very rightfully decided to retire and close #so i was unemployed for the whole summer except for my occasional side jobs and also had to move bc of family shit #so im living w my grandma for the time being and its utterly amazing tbh my grandma and i have a really strong bond and relationship #and i really love getting to come home and see her every day. i decorated her house for halloween a week ago 🎃🎃🎃 #and she couldnt stop talking abt how nice everything looked and how glad she was to have me there and i just abt broke down 😭😭😭 #i did a complete fucking 180 jobwise im actually training to be a certified fire alarm inspector now LMFAO #i really really like it so far and have like a million stories already abt all the shit ive done/seen so far #im the only girl looking son of a bitch thats working and training in the field out of my entire region of the company so 🤪 #literally shoved my dykey nb ass in there and now im fucking it up with the boys heyoooooo #ummm me and one of my best friends started dating bc of a miscommunication (BC OFC WE DID I KNOW I KNOW ITS SO MF GAY) #and our 4 mo anniversary will be on halloween which i think is the swaggiest fag shit in the whole WORLLLDDDDDDDD 😫🎃🖤🧡 #my very beloved pet rabbit of over 8 years died quite unexpectedly in august and i was. doing pretty bad for awhile which sucked so so hard #he had multiple health issues and was over 10 yrs old so its hard to say what exactly happened. my gf and gma both pulled me thru that shit #and my besties gave me so much support and love idek what i would have done w/o them. i miss my baby so bad. #ive also had some health issues which sucks absolute BALLS #and recently figured out that the migraine/anti depressant meds ive been on for the last THREE MF YEARS have been fucking up my body lmao #but on the flipside going back 2 the positives i got to have some really incredible experiences/interactions in the past few months #and those were really huge in helping me get my shit together again #i got to take my girlboygirlfriend on little daytrips throughout the summer. i got a second tat🕷🕸❣️ (which my gf designed 😫) #i met girl queen pussy slay miss felicia day AND met the sexiest creature alive harvey guillen and he told me he liked my hair #which im still super duper normal over i can assure u 😁👍 definitely didnt alter my brain chemistry or anything #i saw gods greatest and most valuable gift to this planet on monday (mcr concert) #and had my entire mind body heart and soul so thouroughly fucked up that im still peeing my goddamn pants over it #and of course now its october :) my rotting flesh and sickened brain knows peace once more #bouta go eat up some drawtober posts right the fuck now so prepare yourselves 👁👁 also gonna be making a post on the coc blog soon as well #its already that time of year again mwhahahahahahahahahaha #so yeah 😋 my summer was goofy and silly as hell. i hope u all have been doing okay and im so happy 2 be back pls hmu if u wanna chat !!!

[ruairy]

.

#did a grocery order and it arrived just now #the guy delivering it didn't believe it was my order and asked me if my parents were home and i said oh its my order im an adult lol #he said he needed id......for groceries......had to call my dad over to verify im in fact not 10 years old #just a day in my life #getting id for groceries is a first for me #i didn't even biy anuthing that would require id #the last few times i did an order the delivery person didn't care lmao 😭

[deus-ex-mona]

and you think it has stopped when the drums and cymbals quieten down, then the beat comes back with a v e n g e a n c e —

#aaaaaaaaa why are they having a performance in a residential area anywayyyyyyyyy #it’s been going on for 10 mins and hm. has it stopped? i hope so #but aaaaaaaaaa i can’t even see them from my window and yet my ears are ringing #oddly specific cny rants pt 1 ig #freakin’ throwback to my schooling days when we’d get hired lion dance performers for our cny celebrations #there was one year when the dancers shook that lion head thing at my classmate to give him a scare lmaoo #dude was teased about being afraid of the lion for a few days after that… #though i wonder if they’ll do dragon dances next year for the year of the dragon… hmmmm… only one way to find out ig~~~~~ #inedible blubbering #anyways… cny horror story sharing time g o!!!!! #i have that time i ruined a reunion dinner (and allegedly the entire family as a result) over cola as a kindergartener #and that year my grandpa went into cardiac arrest and we had to cancel our vacation to see him bc ‘this may be his last cny!!!’… #…only for said grandpa to live to see another 5-6 cnys #and there was also that year there was a huge family fight at an uncle’s house over said grandpa and his nursing hole life or something #and ofc there was that year i got a cheap cheongsam at the store and it fell apart while i was wearing it over the course of the day #and that’s not even counting the very awkward house visiting moments when i’d just hide in a corner to avoid everyone else… #man. cny isn’t really that poggers when it comes down to it… hmmmmmmmmm

[kajiimotojiiro]

Ugh

#im going to ramble in these tags for a bit so that the potentially triggering tags #are located way way way down and no one will look at them i just #so uh yeah hows the weather anyone else having insane sinus drainage #i actually had a patient call me today worried because her nose was running and her head hurt and im like #well if it isnt getting worse and its only been a few days and you have no other symptoms you probs have sinus issues like everyone else #in this state but if youre super worried and antihistamines dont help please contact your doctor i appreciate your faith in a pharmacist #being able to diagnose over the phone but i actually legally cannot do that #are these tags long enough yet #possibly but who knows anyway if youre here uhhh tw animal death ahead #im a petsitter and have been for like. 10 years now and i share sits with my mom sometimes bc i work full time and cant always get there #anyway at one of our shared sits today she went in and one of the little cats was just #suddenly dead. like she wasnt that old and yet she was just. stiff and gone and we're both just so fucked up over it #like i wish there had been some sign and we could have saved her even though it was likely an unfixable heart defect #and her people apparently had taken her to the vet LAST WEEK and didnt bother to tell us that she seemed to be feeling poorly last week #and theyre just like oh we'll get a new cat when we come back #meanwhile my ocd has been going insane since then bc i have really bad intrusive thoughts centering on keeping my cats alive #like half of my rituals are specifically for my cats #and i just keep think about poor sammie dying alone and scared bc we werent there with her and her people had been gone since friday #and it just makes me so fucking sad my heart is breaking but i cant stop thinking about it and no distractions are working #rip sammie you were such a sweet little cat and im so sorry you had to go alone and scared

[forest-from-the-trees]

grief fucking sucks man

#everything about it is just awful #like the way it presents for me is in waves i guess #especially when its for people i had a really complicated relationship with #ive had three grandparents die this year #all in the last five months #and two of those i hadnt seen since i was about 10 or 11 because they were from my dads side and i dont have contact with him anymore #and so the first time i saw one of them was when she was on her literal deathbed dazed and confused barely able to speak #dying of cancer #she just laid there and held my hand and whispered to herself about how pretty i was and kept pointing to a picture #on the wall next to her of me and my siblings from around the time we last saw her as little kids #i cried the whole time #she died about three days later #her mom (my great grandma) died two weeks later #that was five months ago #i thought i got all my processing out that very last time i visited her #but evidently not cause i was just scrolling through tiktok (of all things) and saw this video of this girl #talking briefly about her mom dying and really breaking down over it #and i guess that got to me #my other great grandma died a few days ago so the wound was just reopened or something i dont know #i dont feel well