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#So I'm hoping that reading the chapter gets the wheel turning on ideas for how I'm going to beef them up for my own redux
bonefall · 8 months
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Out of curiosity what do you think about the newest Thunder spoilers in relation to Curlfeather?
I support women's wrongs <3
Happy, actually! This is the first female warrior cats villain whose motivation was just power. The first. I would have been furious if this had ended with Curlfeather having no involvement in the scheme, actually, so she could just be a good perfect loving (dead) mom to Frostpaw.
And she had a limit. Her last action in life was saving Frostpaw. She wasn't willing to trip up her own child to save her own skin, in spite of how she'd been willing to involve her in her schemes. I really like the way the revelation is painful to Frostpaw, she begins to doubt if the love was ever genuine, and Riverstar assures her that love was there.
Even though she's damned. Love was there; but it wasn't enough.
I have a fondness for controversial parental figures like her. I enjoy narratives with themes of conflict about your parents-- when they hurt you, but you still have love for them. I hope this ties into the nugget they set up back in TBC about the possibility of redemption for DF cats in the future.
I'm overall feeling pretty negative about the Thunder spoiler thread, but I am actually very much looking forward to reading this one chapter.
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loving-barnes · 3 months
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LOGAN HOWLETT - NEED
A/N: CHAPTER TEN is here! I'm sorry it took me so long. I just had a lot on my plate. Enjoy!
Pairing: Logan Howlett x mutant female reader
Warning: I have decided to not give any warnings. Please remember this story is 18+.
Summary: Things move forward between Logan and Y/N.
Please, do not read if you are under 18. This story is suitable for mature audience. MINORS DNI!
Words: 4300+
Important note: Again, Logan is a tall MF, because they fucked up in the movies. Also, Hugh Jackman!Wolverine. This is set in AU.
A TOUCH OF HOPE MASTERLIST | Chapter Nine
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LOGAN HOWLETT - NEED
Jean stood next to a hospital bed, looking down at unconscious Y/N. She had a chart in her hands, checking the data she collected the past three days. Three days - that’s how long Y/N was out of the present. 
Logan didn’t want to leave her side once they removed the collar from his neck. The wounds immediately healed, and he became a new person. Jean managed to send Logan away. He insisted on staying by Y/N’s side until she’d open her eyes. Luckily, Jean persuaded him quickly. Even Storm wanted to remain by her side all the time. The friendship between her and Y/N blossomed fast. 
When Storm arrived with the rest of the team, she was horrified when she found Logan wounded and weak next to an unconscious body. There was a slight fear Logan wouldn’t be able to heal from the wounds. When Hank and Jean freed Logan from the collar, the healing happened quickly. No one would tell he was fighting for his life hours ago. 
Jean enjoyed the silence in the medical room. The only thing she heard was the beeping sound of a heart monitor. 
The door to the room opened. Charles wheeled in, followed by Hank, Logan and Storm. Before anyone could ask anything, Jean gave them an answer. “No change. She’s stable, well, but still out.” 
Charles was the first to approach the bed. His hands caressed Y/N’s exposed forearm, where he kept staring at the lightly radiating skin. It was fascinating. Charles didn’t have an exact answer for that. All they knew was that it had to do something with her mutation. 
“You said it happened before?” The question was for Logan. 
“Yes. It was the day we saved the boy and came back here. I noticed her eyes glowing.” 
Charles thought about it. “Mutations can evolve. It is one thing you get to master your powers and manipulate them. In some cases, more abilities can be developed. I think this could be the case. Y/N’s mutation is evolving. I believe ner powers will rise to the surface very soon.” 
“So, what? You will test her like a lab rat,” Logan scoffed, not fond of the idea. “Hadn’t she had enough of that?” 
“I’m not saying we will test on her. That will only happen if she’d want to,” Charles said. “We have to wait until she awakes. It can be minutes, hours, or even days. Her mind is locked. I can’t get inside, no matter how much I try.”
“You said she created a force field around the whole school,” Storm looked at Logan. “Her energy got drained to the last bit. No wonder she’s been out for three days now. She’s never done anything like that before. She could have died.” 
Jean approached the woman on the bed. She grabbed her hand, scanning the skin. “Why has this been happening for three days?” 
“I forgot to mention one thing,” Logan cleared his throat. He crossed his arms over his chest. It got everyone’s attention. “The leader of the Trask unit that came to school was Y/N’s mother.” 
“What?” they all said in unison. All eyes were on him.
Logan nodded. “After the accident with Y/N’s sister, her mother joined Trask Industries. She wanted revenge for her lost child. Turns out, she became a respected, high-ranked person there.” 
There was silence. The information about Y/N’s mother was shocking. “That is a plot twist,” Storm commented. 
“Y/N didn’t know about it, just to clarify,” Logan added strictly. 
“She had her eyes on me since I escaped the lab in Salem,” said Y/N’s voice from the bed. 
They all turned to the voice. Logan was the first by her side, staring at her face. Her eyes were open a crack. She was getting used to the light. Y/N blinked a few times before her eyes moved to look at Logan. He saw that her irises were glowing like the colours of the force field - silvery and blue. When she blinked again a few times, they turned back to normal. 
“JJ was a trap,” she continued. “It gave away my location.  Because of me, the children were in danger. Everything that happened was my fault.” 
“No,” Storm walked to her from the other side. She grabbed Y/N’s hand. “You couldn’t know that would happen. All you wanted was to save the boy. And you did it. How could you know it was a trap? Also, you protected the whole school. The building is standing still because of you.” 
A yawn escaped Y/N’s lips. “Is everyone okay?” 
“Yes,” Jean nodded. She had a gentle smile on her face. “They are all back in school. Colossus took them away just in time. The building is standing, and it is all thanks to you.” 
“Good,” Y/N closed her eyes. “I’m glad no one got hurt.” 
Charles opened his mouth, ready to ask a question. Quickly, he shut it, dismissing what he wanted to ask. “We’ll talk later. Rest,” he suggested. 
As they walked away, Y/N opened her eyes and found Logan staring at her. His face was filled with worry. She winked at him. It was a sign to stay. Everyone left while he remained by her bed. The door closed. They were officially alone. 
Slowly, she pushed her body up until she was sitting. She stretched her arms. Logan got closer to the bed. Her eyes traced over his body. She realised he wore a simple black T-shirt that perfectly showed his muscles. Her mouth opened, almost dropping down on her lap. Damn. There was an urge to touch his stomach, to feel the abs underneath her touch. She clenched the bedsheet tightly.
“How are you feeling?” Logan’s voice brought her back to reality. 
Y/N gulped. “Tired,” she replied. “It might be because I’ve been out for… how long?” 
“Three days.” 
“That long? Shit,” she shook her head in disbelief. Y/N moved her body. She sat at the edge of the bed, legs hanging in the air. “How are you? What did I miss?” 
“A stamp of approval from Scott,” Logan laughed when he said that. “And I’m fine.”
Y/N’s mouth dropped. “Wow, I was expecting everything but that. Wait ‘til he hears about my mother being a part of Trask Industries. He will hate my guts once again. If not more.” 
Logan’s eyes took in every detail of Y/N’s face. She had an amused smile on her face. Her eyes were shining with her natural colour. Her hair was all messy and tangled. And yet, she was the perfect thing he ever saw. Logan couldn’t believe he was able to kiss her that night. That dammed night when they were attacked. 
He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. Y/N noticed it. She took a deep breath, trying to prepare herself for what was about to come. She could feel it in the air. It got thicker and heavier with lust and something beautiful. She didn’t have the time to whisper his name. Logan’s lips found hers in a feverish kiss. One hand grabbed her by the neck to pull her body as close to his as possible. He had to lean down to reach for her lips. 
Y/N’s left hand was feeling the hard abs on his abdomen. The other hand pressed against his cheek. She could feel the beard scratching the skin of her palm. How come he was so hot with that mutton chops beard? He could pull it off.
Logan broke the kiss. He sighed, annoyed. Y/N raised a brow. It was a silent question. She wanted to know why he stopped. “You’ll have a visitor in a few seconds.” 
“Ah,” she chuckled. Y/N found it amusing. Logan was visibly unhappy someone had to interrupt them again. On the other hand, she admired his advanced hearing. No one needed to know something was happening between them. It was too soon to show. The first thing they needed to do was to talk about it and define what this thing was between them.
As he stepped back, the door opened. Kitty walked in with Jerome by her side. Y/N’s eyes lit up when she saw him. “Hi, JJ!” A smile spread across her face. 
“He wanted to see you,” Kitty said when they approached the bed. “He heard us when we talked in the hallway. I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course it is,” Y/N nodded quickly. Her eyes trailed to Logan. He had his arms crossed over his chest, glaring at the child. Y/N wanted to laugh at him. It was funny he was jealous of a kid. When JJ sat on the bed next to her, she patted his head.
“Are you feeling okay?” JJ asked her. “I’ve heard what happened. Everyone knows what happened. You saved the school!” 
Y/N blinked a few times. She didn’t know what to say to that. “Yeah, she did,” Logan stepped in. “She got to warn us before the attackers came.”
“That’s badass,” Jerome said excitedly. “How did you know about it? Do you have a new mutation? My friends asked about you,” he kept talking fast. “You are like a celebrity among the students. You are a hero,” he explained. 
“Oh,” Y/N was not pleased with that information. She didn’t want to be a hero. “There are better heroes out there. Look at Professor Xavier or Storm, Kitty… they are the real heroes here. I just did what was necessary.”
“I wish I could see it,” JJ sighed, upset that he wasn’t there. Colossus took him and the children to a safe place before the soldiers marched in. 
“I’m glad you managed to get to a safe place with Colossus,” Y/N dishevelled his hair. 
“How are you feeling, Y/N?” Kitty used the silence to ask her. 
“Tired,” she gave her the same answer as she had said to Logan. “Thanks for bringing JJ here. At least I know he’s well,” and she pressed a gentle kiss on top of the boy’s head. He slowly became the little brother she never had.
When Kitty took Jerome away, Logan was relieved to be alone with Y/N again. This time, he sat next to her on the bed. His hand found the back of her neck. He started to massage it. Y/N’s eyes closed. She almost purred. A moan escaped her mouth. Logan’s eyes widened at that sound, and he grinned. “That was a pretty sound. You should make more.” 
She glared at him. “Dirty mind.” 
When he stopped, he leaned closer. “Let me take you back to your room,” he whispered. He kept breathing in Y/N’s scent.
“Again, dirty mind,” she chuckled. 
Logan pressed a soft kiss on her forehead. “You are the one with a dirty mind. I didn’t mean it like that, princess.” 
Y/N watched as he got closer, wanting to kiss her again. She pressed an index finger to his lips, stopping him. “I need to do one more thing before we leave,” she said, staring into his eyes. She reached for one of his hands and brushed her fingers against his knuckles. “Scratch me with your claws.” 
Logan raised his brows, pushing away a little. “What?” 
“Please, do it,” she begged. “I need you to scratch me with them. You’ll see why.” 
“No,” he shook his head and pulled away from her. His eyes focused on the floor, frowning. “I’m not going to hurt you.” 
Y/N rolled her eyes. “You will not hurt me, I promise you. I need to see something. Either you will scratch me with a claw, or I will find a knife and do it myself.” 
He growled like a wolf. When Logan clenched a fist, one of the claws slowly came out under his skin. He then turned his body to her. Y/N prepared her forearm. Before he could change his mind, Logan cut into her skin, making her bleed. A second later, the wound lit up like the colours of her forcefield and started closing in front of their eyes. 
“Shit,” she mumbled. “I didn’t know I could do that. That’s new.” 
“Damn,” Logan sighed. “That explains why we didn’t find any bullet wounds on your body. There was blood but no gashes. You can heal.” 
“I can heal,” she nodded. Y/N buried her face into her hands, sighing loudly. “Holy shit, I can heal. That might explain why I could remain alive all these years in the labs. I know it happened when they attacked us. I remember being shot. I remember the pain. When I looked a few seconds later, the wound wasn’t there. I just needed to be sure that it wasn’t a hallucination.” 
Logan grabbed one of her hands and pressed a soft kiss on top of it. It was a sweet, loving gesture. “Come on, princess. I’ll take you to your room.” 
“Aw, such a gentleman,” she patted his beard-covered cheek playfully. “I should get wounded more. You’ll treat me like a princess every second of my life,” she teased. 
“Very funny.”
They left the lowest level underground. Logan kept her close to him but didn’t touch her. They kept some distance between them in case someone decided to appear out of nowhere. He kept an eye on her in case she would show any sign of weakness. 
The atmosphere changed when they arrived at the main level. The students were walking around the hallways, chatting. None of them were holding books. It meant only one thing - it was already afternoon. 
One by one, they turned their attention to Logan and Y/N. When they found their teachers walking down the hallway, they stopped talking. The attention was now on them. Fingers were being pointed at them, as well as whispers spreading around. 
“That’s her,” someone said. 
“She saved the school.” 
“They protected us.” 
“She teaches English.” 
“I want to be as cool as them.” 
“Miss Y/L/N can make forcefields.”
All Y/N could hear in her mind was freak, weirdo, murderer. You killed her! You killed my baby!
Y/N closed her eyes and stopped walking. The attention was unpleasant. Logan noticed her face. His hand found Y/N’s lower back. It was a gentle gesture. He pressed his fingers lightly against her. Logan kept watching her face. He could see how her breath quickened. “You okay?” he asked. 
Y/N gave him one gentle nod. When she opened her eyes, they started to travel around the place. They captured every single child that was staring at her. Their looks were different. The thoughts that were screaming inside her mind eased. They were barely whispers. Before, she’d feel like the biggest weirdo on the entire planet. Now, the feeling was different. She didn’t want to run away from it. Y/N was aware that she and Logan protected the whole school. 
Y/N continued to walk through the crowd of students. She headed to the stairs with Logan close behind. No one asked a thing. No one wanted to talk to her. Y/N appreciated it all. 
“The kids look up to ya,” Logan said when they climbed all the stairs to the third floor. They stopped in front of Y/N’s room. “They always do when someone becomes a hero,” he made a face. 
“I’m no hero,” she shrugged. It made her feel uncomfortable. “I only did what was necessary.” 
Logan sighed. “You sure you’ll be fine?” 
She leaned against the closed door and smiled. “Yes, I will. Thank you, my knight in shining armour. I shall give you flowers for your bravery,” she bowed to him a little, laughing. 
“Text me if you need me, and I’ll come to you, princess,” he winked at her.
Y/N walked into her room. She closed the door, sighing. Logan left without a kiss. Why was she so upset about it? Rolling her eyes, Y/N walked to the bathroom. She needed to shower the last three unconscious days and a fight where she came face to face with her mother.
. . .
It was ten in the evening. The whole school was silent. The students were in their rooms, already asleep. During school days, they all had to be in their dorms before nine. 
Y/N was inside her room the whole time. After a long hot shower, she changed into fresh clothes. She then fell asleep on her bed for a few hours. Her body was tired. It called for a nap. Now, she was sitting on the bed, finishing a French braid. Y/N could smell the coconut shampoo on her body. Her mind kept wandering to Logan, her mother and back. 
How is it that when something nice was happening, a shit from the past had to appear at the exact moment? Shaking her head, she tied the end of the braid with a rubber band. 
There was a knock on the door. Before Y/N could open her mouth, the door slowly opened. Logan walked in, frowning. When he noticed her sitting on the bed, his face softened.
“What’s with the face?” she asked, grinning. 
He closed the door behind him and approached the bed. “I was worried, okay?” 
Y/N kneeled on the bed, laughing. “Aw, that is so sweet. The big bad Wolverine was worried about me.” Her eyes watched as he took a seat next to her. “I’m sorry for giving you wrinkles. I fell asleep after the shower.” 
Logan huffed, nodding. And then, in a mere second, Logan grabbed her into his arms. One held her by the waist while the other was behind her neck. Their lips connected in a sloppy, passionate kiss. At this point, Y/N wasn’t even surprised by his sudden action. All she could do was think about him - his lips, his touch. Their tongues pressed together, mouths sliding hungrily. They got lost in their passion. 
“I was worried about you,” said Logan when their lips disconnected. “I was going crazy watching you unconscious on that damn bed,” he admitted. “I’d be really pissed if something happened to you.”
Her finger gently stroked the bridge of his nose. “When I saw you with that collar, powerless, I knew I had to do anything to protect you. You became a simple mortal human being. It wasn’t nice to see you all wounded and defeated. I was worried that…”
Logan’s brows raised. “What?” he asked softly. 
“We wouldn’t be able to start whatever it is between us,” she looked away. 
Logan sat on the bed and brought her onto his lap. His hands held her by the hips, gripping them tightly. Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her breasts to his chest. “Oh, princess,” he sighed, staring into her eyes. They travelled to her lips. “Good thing we survived. We can now continue where we left off.”
Y/N felt the thrill rushing through her body. However, her face heated up. Suddenly, she was shy. Logan saw it all. One of his hands rested on her cheeks. “Don’t go shy on me now, sweetheart,” he chuckled. 
Y/N playfully rolled her eyes. “Well, the last time I had something with a guy was over five years ago,” she made a face. 
“We don’t have to…”
“But I want to,” she stopped him by pressing a finger to his lips. “I want to, Logan. I-” Her eyes scanned his green ones. There was something on her lips she wanted to say. It was too soon to confess. Y/N knew what she felt for him, but she didn’t allow herself to say it out loud. After she swallowed the truthful words, she said, “I want you.” 
The air changed in the room. With a gentle touch, Logan traced the curves of her body, feeling the tremble of excitement beneath his fingertips. As their lips met in a tender kiss, they both felt the rush of passion surge through them, melting away any lingering doubts or inhibitions. 
The first pieces of clothing were gone in mere seconds. Logan took off Y/N’s T-shirt, showing her exposed chest to his eyes. He licked his lips as his eyes observed her beautiful breasts. When Y/N took off Logan’s white tank top, her nails lightly scratched his chest, enjoying the feeling of him under her fingertips. Slowly, they undressed each other, savouring the unveiling of skin, each moment building the intensity of their connection.
Y/N expected that, at some point, Logan would become rougher and impatient. She was surprised when he took his time and didn’t rush things. His touches were gentle and loving as if she were a fragile doll that would break under his touch. 
“You smell so good, princess,” he growled. His mouth wrapped around her hardened nipple and sucked on it. He was rewarded with a moan. He sucked on it, circled it with a tongue. When he let it with a pop, Logan looked at her, grinning. “Next time, I will fuck ya like the naughty girl I know you are.” 
“Logan,” she whispered his name. 
He continued to lavish attention on her breasts. His mouth moved from one nipple to the other, alternating between bites and licks that sent shivers down her spine. He loved how she responded to his attention – it only fueled his passion further. 
The moans kept escaping Y/N’s lips after every touch, every stroke and lick. The sound of her moans and gasps filled the air, making Logan’s dick throb painfully.
He grabbed her by the waist and laid her down on the bed. He positioned himself between her legs. “What a beautiful view,” he commented, eyeing her naked upper body. 
Her hands reached for the big belt he wore. Y/N unfastened it, unbuttoned the jeans and pulled down the zipper. She realised he wasn’t wearing any underwear. Y/N’s brows raised up, and she grinned at him. She was met with his semi-hard length begging to be taken out of the jeans.“You like going commando?” 
“I was in a hurry,” he said, grinning. 
Y/N took him out, stroking him slowly from tip to base. She felt him twitch under her touch. He had a nice dick - perfect length, veiny, and he trimmed his pubic hair around his penis and balls.  She heard him moan and curse under his nose. 
“Fuck, baby girl,” his eyes rolled into the back of his head when she squeezed him harder. He stopped her movements.  Logan took her hand off his throbbing member. He brought the hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “I want to be inside of you.” 
Logan took off his jeans while his eyes remained on Y/N’s movements. He followed her hands - how they reached for the hem of her shorts. She took off the fabric with panties, and she exposed her pussy for his eyes to see. “Fuck,” he growled. 
Once they were both naked, Logan positioned himself at the entrance of her wet pussy, looking down at her face with a mix of determination and desire burning in his eyes. He ran his thumb along her clit, making her squirm. 
One last kiss before he positioned himself at her entrance and slowly pushed in. He watched Y/N’s reaction carefully, seeing the way her face contorted into a mixture of pleasure and anticipation. “Shit,” he cursed. “So tight.” 
He started to move slowly, allowing their bodies to become one. Logan didn’t want to hurt her. His eyes were locked with hers with every move he made. He wanted to take his time, to savour every moment of being inside her, feeling her surround him completely.
“Fuck,” she gasped. “Faster, Logan. Please.” 
Hearing her pleas, Logan's feral instincts kicked in, and he responded by increasing the pace of his thrusts, driving into her tight pussy with forceful strokes. He watched her breasts bounce with every snap of his hips. “You are so fucking pretty like this,” he praised her. 
Another loud moan escaped Y/N’s lips. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she pressed him closer to her body, pressing her lips against his in a feverish kiss. It was sloppy and dirty, all tongue and teeth. One of his hands sneaked between their bodies. His thumb found her clit, and he started to toy with it. 
Her walls clenched around his length. “Ah, fuck!” she gasped. “I’m so close.” 
“Good, baby girl,” he said hoarsely. “Don’t hold up and come for me, pretty girl.” 
He heard her cry out and felt her body tense as she approached climax. Logan increased the tempo of his movements even further, driving himself into her. He watched as Y/N reached her peak. Her eyes closed, walled gripped his cock tightly as waves of pleasure ran through her body. 
Logan’s release followed a few seconds later. At the last moment, he pulled out and spilt his seed over her lower belly, grunting. “Ah, fuck, fuck,” he cursed. 
Logan’s chest heaved with each laboured breath. The scent of sex and sweat filled the air around them as they lay there, spent and satisfied. Y/N turned her head to look at him. She watched as he breathed heavily. A smile appeared on her lips. 
“Damn,” she whispered. 
He turned his head, catching her eyes. Logan grinned at her. “That’s it?” he teased. 
“I am speechless. Isn’t that enough?” Y/N winked at him. She rolled to her side, snuggling her naked body to his. Her fingers absentmindedly started to stroke his chest, brushing through some of the hairs. 
Logan managed to capture her lips in a gentle kiss. “How are you feeling?” 
Her eyes locked with his. “Happy,” she replied simply. 
“How about one more round?” he suggested.
Y/N smacked his chest playfully. “Insatiable man.” 
He grabbed her hand and led it down his body to his hard length. Y/N wrapped her fingers around his cock. “What can I say. I can’t get enough of you.” 
She giggled. “Cheezy. Fine, one more round.” 
“This time, you will ride me, pretty girl.” 
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finnsbubblegum · 1 year
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I’m Sorry (Joel Miller X Reader)
Pairing: no-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader
Warnings: car accident, miscarriages (let me know if i missed any)
Summary (Series): reader as Joel’s neighbor. Joel’s wife left him so Joel asked his neighbor for help in babysitting Sarah. 
Words count: 1.7k
A/N: I’m trying to make this as a rom-com, hope you like my new series! This is part 15 of Where It All Starts. But it can also be read as a standalone. I'm so grateful for all of you! Thank you for your comments, reblogs, and likes ❤️ There are still more chapters for this series so stay tuned! Love you!
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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Epilogue
“Should we go to my parents house this weekend and tell them?” You were sitting on the exam bed while waiting for the doctor to print your sonogram picture.
“Yeah, that’s a great idea.” Joel nodded.
“Sorry it took so long. Here, I printed five for you. And don’t forget to get the vitamins at the pharmacy before you leave.” The doctor passed you the sonogram pictures and a prescription.
“Thank you, doc.” You and Joel thanked her.
“You’re welcome. I’ll see you on our next appointment.” She smiled.
“Do you want to wait here and sit while I get this?” Joel raised the prescription. 
“I’ll come with you.” You linked your arms to Joel’s.
“Hi, Joel.” A familiar woman and man stopped in front of the two of you.
Joel sighed. He didn’t expect to meet his ex-wife and her boyfriend again. At the obgyn in all of the places? 
“Hi.” You greeted them with a forced smile.
“Congratulations to both of you.” She pointed at the sonogram picture in Joel’s hand.
“Thank you.” You looked at her while you rubbed Joel’s arms.
“Congratulations to you too.” You pointed your eyes to her protruding belly.
Joel’s ex-wife was pregnant with her current boyfriend. She was bigger than you so it was obvious.
“I hope you’ll be a good mom this time.” Joel sarcastically said to his ex-wife. 
Even though it had been a few years, he was still hurt by her and he still hated her. He could never forgive her for what she had done. She failed her daughter but why did God give her a second chance to be a mother? He wondered. Life was not fair.
“It’s okay.” She grabbed her boyfriend's wrist as he stepped forward to Joel almost starting a fight.
“I will, Joel. I’m sorry. I hope to see Sarah sometime.” She brought up Sarah.
Joel groaned and rolled his eyes. You rubbed his arms with your thumb to calm him.
“Sure, we can set a time.” You smiled at her.
Joel turned his head to you and widened his eyes. He wanted to make his ex wife suffer by not allowing her to meet her daughter. 
“Thank you, (y/n). I hope you and your baby are healthy.” She put her hands on your upper arm.
“You too.” You smiled and parted ways.
In the car
“You okay, there?” You asked Joel as he was quiet since your meeting with his ex-wife.
He stayed quiet, not answering you.
“Joel, baby?” You called him.
He only hummed and looked straight while driving.
“I get it. You’re mad at me.” You nodded, holding the seatbelt on your chest.
“Yes, I’m mad at you. What the fuck was that?!” He raised his voice.
You trembled. Hands gripping your seatbelt tighter.
“You’ll let her see Sarah?!” He hit the steering wheel.
“I’m sorry. I just thought-I’m pregnant now and I know how a mother is connected to her baby. She grew Sarah inside her for 9 months, Joel.” You started sobbing.
“Don’t you dare cry now.” Joel growled.
“Joel, please. I’m sorry.” You cried.
“Fine, I’ll call her and tell her she can’t see Sarah anymore. If that’s what you want.” You took out your phone.
“Don’t.” Joel started driving faster.
“What do I do? What do you want me to do?” You sobbed.
Joel cleared his throat and didn’t answer you.
“Joel! Slow down! You’re gonna get us killed!” You screamed.
He kept on pressing the gas pedal and speeding up.
“Joel! Please! Stop the car! Stop it!” You cried as you screamed.
Joel hit the brake suddenly as he saw the red light. You panted as the car stopped so suddenly. Then the light turned green and Joel pressed on the gas pedal again.
"Baby, I'm sor-" Joel didn't finish his sentence. 
*car crash*
A speeding car suddenly crashed from the left side. Joel’s reflex tried his best to turn the car avoiding the crash but the car turned in circles. You screamed as the car turned. Your hand instinctively wrapped around your belly protecting your baby inside your belly. You hit your head as the car crashed. You and Joel blacked out for a moment. 
“Baby..” Joel opened his eyes and groaned at the pain. 
Joel turned his head to you but you were unconscious. He panicked and hurriedly took off his seatbelt. He was shaking.
“Baby, can you hear me?” His bloody hands cupped your cheeks.
“Baby, open your eyes. Open your eyes for me, baby, please.” Joel tapped your cheeks with his palms and sobbed.
Your ears were ringing and your vision was blurry. You blinked your eyes a few times as you heard his voice. All you could see was him, blood and pieces of glass everywhere.
“Where are you hurt?” Joel looked up and down to your body.
“J-joel..” You called his name.
“Baby, you hurt? Tell me.” He cupped your cheeks.
“Wait here. I’ll get you out.” Joel immediately got out of the car and ran to your side. 
He was in pain but he ignored it. Your safety was his priority. You were more important than him. 
“Come here, put your arms around me. I got you, baby. I got you.” Joel put his arms around you to help you out ignoring his pain.
“J-joel. I’m in pain.” You shakily put your hand on your abdomen and squeezed it.
“I know, I know. I need to get you out first. Come on.” Joel tried to lift you.
“Joel, the baby.. I can’t lose the baby.” You cried as you felt warm liquid flowing to your thigh.
“Shit.” Joel looked down to your skirt and saw blood.
“Joel..” You cried looking through his eyes.
“Eyes on me, baby. Eyes on me. Don’t look down.” He tried not to panic so you didn’t panic.
“Joel, everything hurts..” You cried on his shoulder as he dragged you out of the car. 
“Somebody call the ambulance!” Joel shouted.
“I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry.” Joel cradled your head as he laid you on the ground.
Thankfully, a stranger called an ambulance and they came right away. The paramedic laid you on the wheeled stretcher and Joel’s heart broke. He blamed himself. He didn’t know what he should do. He followed you inside the ambulance and held your hand throughout the way to the hospital. You squeezed his hand in pain and he brought your hand to his lips.
“Please help my wife. She’s pregnant.” Joel begged the nurse as she brought you inside.
“Sir, you need to get treated too.” The nurse invited him to the examination bed to get treated.
Joel’s head was bleeding. His bones probably dislocated or fractured but he didn’t care. His focus was only you. He felt extremely guilty and his chest hurt. 
“Sir, we’re sending your wife to the operating room. It’s best if you get treated while you wait.” The nurse repeated again.
“Save her, please.” Joel sobbed. 
“We’ll try our best.” The nurse smiled.
Then Joel followed the nurse and got treated. He called Tommy to watch Sarah for a while but he told him not to tell Sarah what happened. Then he waited for a few hours and shook his legs in anxiety. Joel stood up right away when you were brought out from the operating room.
“How is she?” Joel asked the doctor with his casted arm.
“Sir, I’m so sorry for your loss. We couldn’t save your baby. And your wife needs a lot of rest. We need you to stay strong for her.” The doctor felt bad for telling Joel such bad news.
Joel cried as he looked at your weak body laying on the hospital bed. The nurses pushed your bed to your room while Joel followed beside you. Joel stayed beside you all the time when you were still sleeping because of the drugs.  He slept resting his head on the bed beside you, holding your hand, never letting you go. In his mind, he kept thinking how he would tell you when you regain your consciousness.
“Joel?” You whispered as you opened your eyes a little.
Joel raised his head right away when he heard you call his name.
“Hey, I’m here, baby. I’m here.” Joel stroked your head.
“Where am I?” You tried to remember what happened and your head hurts.
“You’re in the hospital. We got into a car accident.” He explained the main points.
“My head hurts.” You put your hand on your head then your stomach.
“Joel- The baby. Please, tell me it’s okay.” You started panting as you panicked.
“Baby-I-” Joel couldn’t find his words.
“Joel-please-” You sobbed.
“I-I’m sorry.” He cried.
“Joel! No! Please!” You cried gripping his shirt.
“I’m sorry, baby. It was my fault. I’m sorry.” He cried and buried your head to his chest hugging you tight.
You cried so loud. Your tears wet his shirt. You didn’t expect this would happen. 
“Bring him back! Bring him back, please!” You screamed and tried to get out of the bed looking for the doctors.
You used him for your unborn child because you could feel it would be a boy. But now he’s gone. Your baby boy was gone. Your heart was shredded into pieces at the fact you couldn’t protect your baby.
“Baby, you need to lay down. You need rest.” Joel held you from standing up.
“Don’t touch me!” You threw his hand away from you.
“It’s all your fault! None of this would happen if you didn’t speed up!” You yelled at him. Tears falling down your cheeks.
“I hate you! I hate you! And I hate myself!” You took off the IV needle that was inserted on the back of your hand and stood up.
The nurses came inside as you tried to leave the room. They held you and put you back to your bed. Your heart rate was rising and they decided to give you sedatives to calm you down. Joel cried as he saw you like that. He was guilt-ridden and helpless. He never wanted to hurt you and now you hate him. 
To be continued…
A/N: I wasn’t planning about this but when I was writing for this chapter my hands kept typing it this way. I don’t know if you like it but I hope you like it!! ❤️
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551 notes · View notes
niki-phoria · 1 year
Note
hii! can I request a foreigner 8th member of enhypen studying Korean with niki except they just keep using it to flirt with each other and the other member who’s teaching them (heeseung/jungwon/jay whoever) is like damn I didn’t come here to third wheel and they get all flustered hihi
Rlly love your work! It’s so difficult to find gn reader fics so your blog is rlly one of my comfort safe spaces 💙
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pairing: niki x gn!reader (no pronouns used) genre: fluff word count: 613
includes: flirty niki, lowkey secret dating au, reader isn't korean but race/ethnicity aren't specified, this is short i'm sorry i had no ideas ://
a/n: thank you for requesting !! it means so much that this blog is a safe space <33 i hope you like it :))
requests open !! read my rules first
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niki leans his head against your shoulder as you pull out your textbooks. you flip through the pages until you find the chapter you had been working on. beside you, jay raises an eyebrow at the unusual affection from niki, though neither of you notice it. 
“we left on adjectives last time,” jay says. “why don’t we work on more vocabulary?” you glance at niki for confirmation before nodding at jay. “okay, there’s a list of different words, i think we should practice using them in sentences. you can make up whatever sentences you want, just focus on grammar structure and picking words from the list.”
your practice begins routinely - you and niki take turns practicing how to use more and more complex words to change the context every now and then. jay speaks up to correct you every now and then, offering feedback on your pronunciation or pointing out how small variances change the meaning completely.
it isn’t long until niki’s half of the conversation stalls as he stares into your eyes. you can feel yourself growing increasingly flustered under his watch. his lips quirk upwards as you nervously look away from him and back down to your notes. “your eyes are pretty.”
“yeah?” you turn to look back at him, cocking your head. 
“yeah,” niki nods. “you have pretty eyes and a pretty smile.” 
jay scoffing behind you makes you jump slightly. he raises an eyebrow at you, eyes moving from you to niki. “are you two flirting? in front of me?” his faux offense makes you laugh as you turn back to the notes in your textbook. 
“we’re not flirting!” 
niki’s poor defense falls of deaf ears as jay playfully continues teasing. “really? you’ve never told me that i have pretty eyes or a pretty smile.”
“maybe i just don’t think that you’re pretty.” 
you laugh as jay playfully gasps, putting a hand over his heart. “well, if you two are gonna sit here and flirt, then i’m gonna go.”
“we weren’t flirting!” you call after him. you can’t help the laugh that escapes you when the door closes behind jay. niki is quick to join in as you collapse onto your shared bed beside him in a fit of giggles. “we should keep studying,” you whisper. 
“we should,” niki replies. “but since when have we ever followed the rules?” 
his teasing makes you chuckle even more as he reaches up to wrap his arm around your waist, tugging you down to lay beside him. you let out a sigh as you relax beside him against the covers. you shift even closer to him so you’re resting your head against his chest as his grip around you tightens ever so slightly. 
you fall into a comfortable silence together. niki’s eyes slowly begin to flutter closed in the silence until you break it with a whisper. “do you think he knows?”
“hm?” 
“jay. do you think he knows about us?”
“maybe.” 
you shift to look up at him, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion. “maybe? you’re really not worried that he might know about us dating?”
“even if he does-”
“he probably does.”
“even though he does,” niki continues. “he’ll support us. all of the hyungs will. we both know that.” you sigh, laying back down against his chest. you let the steady rhythm of his heart beating calm your own anxieties as he rubs a gentle hand against your back. 
“hey,” niki whispers, tilting your head up to look at him. “i love you. regardless of what happens or who finds out, i’ll still love you.”
you smile, leaning up to pull him into a sweet kiss. “i love you too.”
422 notes · View notes
headfullofpresley · 8 months
Text
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 | 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐
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Pairing: Elvis Presley x reader
Word count: 7,1K
Series summary: Elvis has worked hard to become the successful adult movie director that he is today and all that hard work is paying off by how well the public reacts to his work and how much money is coming into his bank account, despite the fact that porn is still very much illegal. Working in the adult industry is not something you saw yourself doing despite coming from a place where it always has been out in the open, but you soon find yourself swept up and away by a certain American director and right into the heart of the porn industry. The only question that remains is... will you sink, or will you swim?
Chapter summary: Elvis shows you around on set and despite your doubts about the adult industry being the right place for you, you decide to be a big girl and take part in a scene. Things don't go too well all because of that pesky virginity of yours and the ever so charming director makes you an offer you can't (and won't) refuse.
Warnings: porn director!Elvis, AU, strong language, the porn industry, sexual innuendos and all that, reader is kind of eager to lose her V-card, smut; fingering, oral (f. receiving), vaginal penetration, unprotected sex.
A/N: hi hello! honestly, i'm not too proud of this chapter woooops and i just wanted to get the smut over and done with bc... i wanna get to the angst 👀- i have ideas for this series, y'all. it won't be a very long one the way i have it planned now but like i said before it'll have heavier themes in it and y'all already know i'm a sucker for angst. so i hope you guys will stick around until the end and i hope y'all still enjoy this chapter nonetheless! 💗
read chapter 1 here | want to be added to the taglist? just ask!
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You’d never been on a movie set a day in your life.
While most of the movies that were playing in theaters in your country were imported all the way from the States, the Netherlands had some passionated local directors and actors as well. You belonged to neither groups and therefor, you had never set foot on a movie set.
Let alone an adult movie set.
The set Elvis had rented out for some of the indoor scenes was located ten minutes out of the city center. You recognized the abandoned factory from the outside and the state of it made an eerie feeling crawl up your spine. Maybe you shouldn’t have come here in the first place. Maybe this had all been a mistake.
But before you could turn yourself and your bike around and leave this crazy, impulsive idea of yours behind, you heard a heavy door open and slam shut again, followed by a booming, amused sounding man.
The American.
“You’re not leavin’ so soon, are ya?”
You clenched your steerring wheel in your hands and looked up at the raven haired man, suddenly were very aware of that you didn’t really know him. You were growing more nervous, though were still trying not to show it, but it was like this man was a goddamn mind reader – at least, when it came to you.
He saw right through you.
A cigarette dangling on the corner of his lower lip, he stepped forward to you (you didn’t miss how he only had to take three steps, because he was perfectly tall) and put his hands on the steerring wheel of your bike. As you looked up into his eyes, he looked down straight into yours – the playful grin that was settled on his face, making his eyes gleam with a hint of mischief, made your heart do a sommersault in your chest.
He really was gorgeous, yet that still didn’t take the nerves that were swirling through the pit of your stomach away. If anything, it only made you more nervous.
“Who said anything about leaving? I just need to put my bike somewhere,” you quickly said, trying to sound as playful as you could and not like you were a scared little bird.
Which honestly, you weren’t. You wouldn’t think of yourself that way- virgin or not, you truly couldn’t turn back now. While you hadn’t set foot inside the building yet, and technically could still get the hell out of dodge, your brain was telling you you were already in too deep.
Elvis nodded as he took a drag from his cigarette, that grin that made his eyes twinkle still planted on his face, and he watched you put your bike against the wall near the door he just came out of. He didn’t comment on the fact that you didn’t lock it or whatsoever and you had just made up an excuse on the whim, you were trying to leave, but he was glad you decided not to. Flicking his cigarette away, he blew out some smoke from the corner of his mouth and nodded his head toward the door as he strided over to it, pushing it open for you to go inside first.
You did and immediately you wanted to turn back around.
The old factory was as old and torn down on the inside as it was on the outside. Now maybe if you were a veteran pornstar, this would’ve been fine- you would have been a professional and would know what to do. But you weren’t and you were beginning to doubt if you were made for this kind of life.
Was this even something you wanted?
“Don’t worry, Y/N,” The director next to you spoke up as he noticed the way you were looking around as if you had just arrived in hell itself. The way your name rolled off his tongue so casually yet comforting had goosebumps rising on the back of your neck. “I ain’t gonna let you do anythin’ you don’t want, ya hear? ‘M just gonna show you around a little,”
You looked at him and although he looked like the kind of man that could get anyone to do anything he wanted to with a snap of his fingers, the little smile he was now giving you seemed sincere. Perhaps you were reading this stranger all wrong, but you trusted him.
It wasn’t like you had much to lose.
He held out his hand for you and you breathed out a deep sigh, laughing a little at the whole situation as you took his hand. He squeezed it softly as he laced your fingers together and gently tugged you further along inside the building, following the hushed voices that echoed through the big, grim space.
 
Camera’s and light equipments were planted in one corner, all facing and following the male actor that had a female co-star pressed against the wall, her skirt pulled up to her waist as he was pulling out soft, erotic moans from her as he had three fingers shoved inside of her.
The sight made your heart skip a beat- you didn’t know whether it was in excitement, or because you were still so goddamn nervous.
“I thought you lost the actress?” you whispered to Elvis who was still standing next to you, looking up at him. You had no idea how the film industry worked- but was he lying to you already? Why did he even offer you the position if there was a perfectly fine girl over there getting fingered?
And why in the hell did you accept?
Elvis looked away from the scene and grinned, his arms folded loosely against his chest as his blue eyes bored into yours. His voice sounded even deeper as he whispered back to you.
“I did. She’s just a stand-in,” he said, pointing to one of the camera’s. “See that? She’s only getting filmed from the waist down. I’m hopin’ that you’ll be the one on that camera soon enough,”
You stopped your eyes from widening and looked back at him, muffling a soft chuckle in the palm of your hand before you ran it through your hair. You looked around the set once more- even though the girl was just a stand-in, she looked like she was genuinely enjoying herself. Everyone seemed professional and completely focused on doing a good job on what they came here to do. Perhaps it was your virgin mind that was a little flushed at the sight before you, but part of you wanted this despite the nerves and doubts that lingered in the back of your mind too.
You wanted out of the usual routine of normal and dull life in Amsterdam. You wanted more than waiting tables and getting smacked on the ass by men that could’ve been your father or even grandfather.
You wanted more out of life.
And you were always determined to get what you wanted. Virginity and inexperience be damned.
“Well, I asked you before,” you grinned at him, spilling the words before you’d swallow them. “When do I start?”
 
Everyone Elvis worked with was very nice. They weren’t weird, oversexed maniacs like some people often made a crowd like this seem like. They were normal people that just happened to have a job that was slightly different from others to put bread on the table and get by.
They made you feel comfortable, as if you were among a big group of friends.
And before you knew it, you were put in a similar outfit the stand-in girl, which went by the name of Tiffany, was wearing before. The production was bigger than you expected because the make-up you had so carefully put on yourself this morning was wiped off and redone by a make-up lady who was taking advice from Elvis himself.
Apparently, he liked the lead actress to have a heavier, dark eye make-up look and when she was done and you saw yourself in the mirror, you almost didn’t recognize yourself.
You liked it.
Maybe this way, you could put your true self in the background and develop a new character in front of the camera. A character that was, according to Elvis, supposed to be innocent and naive and looking for the attention of the guy she was head over heels for, which would be Tommy, the lead actor, and would do anything to get it. You don’t even remember his character’s name, because everything was going so fast.
One minute you were standing around talking and getting familiar to Tommy, and the next you were in the same position you saw Tiffany in earlier on camera.
Back pressed against the wall, skirt up to your waist and Tommy’s hand slipping into your panties.
Now as he caressed his fingertips through your folds, you winced softly and Elvis immediately called to stop filming. Tommy took his head out of your neck and his hand out of your panties, keeping his voice low as if nobody else was allowed to hear this.
“You’re as dry as a cork,”
In any other situation, maybe you would’ve laughed at his comment, but right now you were mortified. You had touched yourself before, obviously, but you’d never experienced this before. When doing it yourself, you had no issues producing the much needed moisture. But it was as if your body was shutting down due to your nerves and when Elvis walked over to the two of you, you figured this would be the end of it.
He’d ‘fire’ you and you could go home and continue on with your boring ol’ life. And maybe that was for the best.
“What’s goin’ on, honey?” He asked as he placed a hand on the wall next to your head, Tommy standing on the other side of you. These two handsome men made you realize there would probably be plenty of girls, beginning actresses in the adult industry, that wanted to be in your spot. From what Tiffany told you as she helped you get into your little clothing that was needed for the scene, Tommy Sands was a big name in porn.
“Nothing! Nothing.. truly. I just need some time getting used to all the camera’s and stuff, I think,” you lied, flashing him the sweetest smile you could muster. You had no idea why you were trying so hard to make this work, or perhaps you did- not only were you stubborn by nature and always felt the need to prove yourself to mostly… yourself, you also knew you needed money.
You were without a job and you still had an apartment to pay rent for every month.
Elvis squinted his eyes a little at you, as if he could see right through you. If he did, he didn’t comment on it.
“Best thing to do is to just relax and pretend the camera’s ain’t here. It’s just you and Tommy,” he smiled at you and you looked at Tommy, who was wearing the same friendly smile as he nodded his head. Elvis continued when you looked back at him. “Think you can do that?”
You inhaled a sharp breath of air and nodded, not knowing if you actually could, but you had to try. Elvis grinned and very softly pinched your cheek. “Atta girl,” with that, he turned around and walked back to his spot next to the camera man.
Your heart was leaping pathetically in your chest and it wasn’t because Tommy Sands’ lips were back in your neck.
 
Brown eyes, sandy blonde hair, plumb pink lips and a perfectly gorgeous Colgate smile- Tommy Sands sure was a looker.
You figured if he wouldn’t be in porn, he could easily be the kind of idol nations worldwide swooned over. Yet, he wasn’t doing much for you.
The lube that was there to help you along with the scene only did the trick for a few minutes but every time Tommy’s long fingers were prodding at your entrance, you panicked and Elvis roared out a “cut!”. You were stressing yourself out, thinking that Elvis was annoyed at you for being what you figured was difficult, but he just assured you with that sweet smile and those twinkling blue eyes every time.
You wished he could take Tommy’s place.
Still, you didn’t give up and finally, with enough lube to last a lifetime, Tommy managed to slip one finger inside of you. You were supposed to moan for the camera as if you were thoroughly enjoying this, but truth was, it felt uncomfortable. And it was showing.
Elvis stopped filming once more and Tommy walked away to the side to bum a cigarette off of someone.
“I’m so sorry, Elvis. I didn’t know this would happen, but I’m sure if we try it again, I’ll be fine and-“
“Honey, did’ya ever do this before?”
“Having sex in front of a camera?”
“No, not that. Jus’ having sex.” With that infamous grin on his face, he looked down at you as if he caught you right in the middle of the act.
Which he had. You were busted, but you wouldn’t go down so easily.
You snorted as you folded your arms, letting out a soft playful scoff to add to your theatrics. “What? Ofcourse I have. I had sex plenty of times with plenty of people,”
Elvis knew that wasn’t true. He’d been in this industry long enough to know that you’d never been touched by a man in your entire life and while that wasn’t a problem for him, he knew losing your virginity on camera wasn’t an ideal situation. And despite the lead character’s innocent-like personality, he did not want this for you.
Leaning in a little closer to you, he looked into your eyes and trapped you against the wall as his hand once more came up to be placed against the concrete next to your head. “Y/N, listen to me,” he whispered lowly, the seriousness in his voice making your heart go wild against your ribcage. “Ain’t nothing wrong with being a virgin, I still want you as my lead actress, but I jus’ wish you would’ve told me. I told you when you got here that I don’t want you doin’ nothing you don’t want and I don’t believe you’d want to pop your cherry in a movie for the whole world to see. I don’t want that for you.”
You bit your tongue as you looked up at him, not even realizing you were holding your breath until it came out in a deep sigh and a breathless laugh. You felt a little foolish.
“You’re right, I should’ve told you,” you agreed, pulling your skirt down. “I guess that sums up my porn career,”
He laughed and shook his head a little, putting his knuckles on his hips as he was still hovering over you. “Didn’t ya hear what I jus’ said? I still want you in this movie. You ain’t goin’ anywhere,”
He didn’t know what it was about you, but he was intrigued and he found himself unable to let you walk out of here. You had been so sassy and confident when he first met you at the café but he knew that was only because you needed to survive in that God awful place. Something told him that deep down inside, there was a girl hidden that had so much to offer to the world and he had decided right then and there that it was his duty to help you.
He wanted to give you the world and he wanted to give the world you.
“I know a lot of people can fake an orgasm, but virginity is not something you can easily hide in a movie like this, Elvis,” you pointed out sarcastically, though he could see by the little grin on your face that the comment was still lighthearted.
“You got that right, honey, but it is something I can help you with,”
The words came out before he could stop himself. Elvis Presley never slept with an actress, no matter how many offers he had gotten. He was purely professional and it was also because he didn’t like the fact that he had seen them get fucked on camera and then had to do the fucking himself. But with you, he found himself thinking what it would be like to be in Tommy’s shoes.
How it would feel like to pop that little cherry of yours.
And you… well, you agreed.
To you, your virginity was only a nuisance. It was stopping you from making the money you needed and living the life you wanted to life. You wanted to get rid off this pesky little thing and if such a fine looking man like Director Presley was offering himself up for the job, you’d be a fool to turn him down.
So you didn’t.
“I guess if it has to happen, it’s now or never. Besides, you’re not such a bad candidate,”
Elvis laughed at your comment, rolling his eyes as he gently bumped your chin with his knuckles.
“You got that right, kid,”
 
He was a perfect gentleman though- you spend the rest of the afternoon talking on the balcony of his hotel room, enjoying some last rays of sun before the moon would take its place. Elvis told you about his life and you told him about yours. You trusted this silly American for whatever reason and it just felt right. You learned how passionate Elvis was about his work and that he wasn’t just in it to see people screw on camera- he was a storyteller and he assured you that the sex scenes in his movies weren’t just two people going at it like rabbits. There were emotions in there, there was a story to be told. This was one of the things that made him so big in the industry, because his movies didn’t only cater to men. It drew women in just as much; because it captured women in a light that told the public, “Look here, women like to have sex. They love to make love and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.”
Filming was cut short for the rest of the day, which the crew and cast were happy about as they all went back to their hotel to get ready and explore more of Amsterdam. You were being swooped away by Elvis to his hotel and although the topic of him taking your virginity wasn’t spoken about between the two of you anymore, you knew it was lingering on the horizon.
Sure, it got backlash from the male viewers sometimes too, as they’d complain scenes would be too “soft”, but Elvis didn’t give a damn.
He was happy with his work, and so were plenty of other people that praised him for it.
In return to Elvis’ honesty and pretty much life story, you told him yours which was far less interesting. You were alone in the big city because your parents passed when you were younger- you were raised by an aunt in a neighboring small town but as soon as you started working and saved up enough money, you went back to Amsterdam and started a life of your own. Or at least, you tried to. Jobs were hard to come by these days but you ‘lucked’ out and got hired at the café, which made just enough to afford rent. By no means were you living a luxury life or even a comfortable one at that because you were working until your feet were numb only to make ends meet. And then Elvis Presley wandered in, promising you the life of luxury you’d daydream about and offering you to let your pretty little feet rest.
Perhaps there was a reason you and him met, after all.
 
As the sun went down, Elvis ordered room service while you took a shower and washed off the make-up that you were still wearing from the shoot. Not bothered by your bare face, you walked back into the spacious bedroom after drying your hair and putting it up in a high ponytail, towel wrapped around your body.
Elvis looked up as he sat on the edge of the bed, raising an eyebrow as he took a deep, long drag from his cigarette. His oceanic eyes followed your every move as you walked closer to him, taking him by surprise when you slowly dropped the towel to a puddle by your feet- he did his damnest to hide that surprise though and a grin curled the corner of his mouth instead.
“You don’t wanna eat first?”
You shook your head as you took one more step forward, standing in between his slightly parted legs. Taking the cigarette out of his mouth, you took a drag from it and Elvis watched you for several seconds before his hands settled on your hips.
Above all, he was a man. And here you were, standing right in front of his nose butt naked. No way in hell he wasn’t going to respond.
No words had to be spoken as he ran his hands up your sides, making you giggle softly at the ticklish feeling. You quickly discarded the cigarette in the ash tray on the bedside table before you put your hands on his shoulders, while his hands were moving to gently cup your breasts. He looked up at you and as soon as you looked down at him and gave him a little smile, he took it as consent and suddenly wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you even closer as his mouth was latched onto your breasts right that second.
He kissed them gently but there was a certain kind of determination hidden in his actions and you felt it as he swirled his tongue around one of your nipples, teeth sinking into the sensitive bud very lightly. Your body reacted instantly and where you had lacked in arousal earlier today, you were sure that wouldn’t be an issue tonight.
Not with this man.
He groaned softly against your skin as he felt your nails running through his hair, caressing along his scalp, and just like yours, his body responded. Before you knew it, he had you on your back on the soft, luscious bed. Your heart was hammering in your chest as his marshmallow lips were kissing their way down your stomach and to your inner thighs, being everywhere except the spot you wanted them most.
The whole ordeal barely started and you didn’t have anything or anyone to compared it to, but you already felt like you were in Heaven.
The small gasp that came from you as he slipped his fingers through your folds caused Elvis to grin and he propped one elbow in the mattress as he was laying on his stomach, face hovering above your pussy, looking up at you. He held his fingertips up, spreading them to show you the string of slick that was connecting to the two digits.
“Maybe Tommy just wasn’t doin’ it for ya, huh?” He smirked and you bit your lip as you watched him pop his fingers into his mouth, sucking your wetness off of them. A whole new wave of arousal washed over you and Elvis could see it in your eyes. Even if you had a response ready for him, he didn’t give you time to give it because as soon as he leaned his head down and you felt his tongue lick through your folds, flicking against your clit, a moan that you didn’t know you were holding in filled the room.
Tommy Sands was the last damn person on your mind- the only one you could think about was the raven haired director with the gorgeous blue eyes that was currently giving you the heavenly experience of being eaten out.
And he was good at it- damn, was he good. He knew just the right thing to do. He definitely used those pillowy, soft lips to his advantage and it worked wonders on all of your senses that were on high alert.
His arms came around your thighs to hold them spread, his long lashes caressing his cheekbones as his eyes were closed while he was moaning lowly right into your folds, sending a vibrating tingle through your bones. You could barely keep still, arching your back and hiding your face as you put your arms over it. You didn’t know what you were hiding from, you didn’t know why you were trying to get away from him when the feeling got a little too intense sometimes, but the man in between your legs wasn’t having it.
He pulled you right back, closer to his face again, and put his arm across your lower abdomen to trap you against the bed. You could feel him smirking as he looked up at you while his tongue was slithering through your slick before it flicked against your clit at an ungodly speed. You propped your elbows into the bed and looked down at him, moaning and squealing as if you had lost all control of your own body. You found yourself simply unable to keep quiet and Elvis encouraged this by moving his hand that was on your thigh lower to prod a finger at your entrance.
He could feel you tense up immediately and he pulled his head back in his neck a little, licking his lips.
“Relax, honey,” he whispered with a deep, raspy voice, sweet smile planted on his face. “Ain’t nothin’ to it. Just gotta prepare you for somethin’ bigger,”
The thought of that something bigger was already making you want to jump out of your skin, in the best way possible.
You watched as Elvis planted a soft kiss on your inner thigh as his other hand came down across your lower abdomen to let his thumb rub your clit, very slowly and gently. He collected some of your slick on the middle finger of his other hand and looked up at you as he slowly pushes it inside of you. The feeling was foreign and strange, but it didn’t make you nor was it as uncomfortable as earlier today when Tommy tried it. You didn’t know whether that was because of Tommy himself, the camera’s, the fact that you had never experienced it before or all things at once, but right now you couldn’t get yourself to worry about it. Because Elvis had managed to easily snuck in a finger knuckle deep and when he pulled it back until the tip of his finger lingered inside of you before pushing it back in all the way, something of a gasp and moan combined tore through your throat. You willingly spread your legs further as he slowly fingered you, getting you ready for what was to come, and he grinned.
“That’s a good girl,” he praised as he shot you a wink, which made you grip onto the sheets as your elbows were still pressed into the mattress, keeping yourself up because you wouldn’t miss a sight like this for the world.
Elvis’ finger started to pick up pace after a little while and when he was distracting you by switching between sucking on your clit and rolling his tongue against it in waves, he added another finger. You threw your head back as you arched your back a little and squealed softly as your toes curled- it was like your walls molded perfectly around his digits the longer he kept them inside of you and you had grown used to the feeling of his fingers pleasuring the hell out of you.
When he fingered you at a steady but comfortable pace, his tongue still latched onto your clit, you knew your orgasm was nearing. The only person who ever made you cum was you but you quickly realized that when it was done by a man, a man who knew what he was doing, it felt so much more intense. And so, so much better.
“Elvis!” you squealed as you reached a hand out to tangle your fingers in his hair, your hips trying to move along to the rhythm of his fingers which turned out to be rather difficult because his large hand was placed on your lower abdomen to keep you down. “I’m g-gonna.. gonna.. c-cum- oh fuck!”
He grinned smugly right against your clit but his actions never faltered. He didn’t pull back from your clit until you moaned loudly and he felt your muscles clenching visciously around his fingers and your thighs tremble. He pushed his two fingers inside of you, keeping them there for a bit as he looked at your facial expressions- now that was a sight he didn’t want to miss. As your hand came out of his hair and down the side of his face, he kissed the palm of your hand and grinned, slowly pulling his fingers out of you before he once more licked them clean.
“Startin’ to think I gotta change the cast of the movie to jus’ you and me,” he joked as he licked his lips and crawled up to hover above you. The necklace he wore with a large silver cross attached to the chain dangled in your face and you let out a breathless laugh, looking up at him with stars in your eyes.
Although, they might as well be hearts.
“If you want to capture a true, authentic female orgasm on film, you might as well,” you mused, catching the cross between your thumb and index finger as it swung back and forth. You looked at the diamonds adorning the piece of jewelry and ran your thumb across it, looking back at him with a smile. Elvis grinned and leaned down, softly pressing his lips against yours.
As he slipped his tongue inside your mouth, you could taste yourself and it only made you want him more. Just as you let go off the cross pendant and moved your fingers to the buttons of his shirt, there was a loud knock on the door and a voice announcing room service had arrived. You told them in Dutch to leave it at the door and Elvis raised an eyebrow at you as he laughed when he heard the person on the other side of the door walking away.
The last thing on your mind was food and if you were feeling any kind of hunger, it was for the man above you.
And it seemed Elvis felt the exact same way.
 
Within the span of seconds, Elvis’ shirt was flung across the room by your doing and you had never seen a man pull down his slacks as fast as you saw the director doing it now. You realised he wasn’t wearing any underwear at all and the sight of his cock springing free in all its glory for you to admire caused a wildfire to spread throughout your chest. You’d never been this turned on in your life, but at the same time your nerves were slowly but surely crawling their way back into your veins. As Elvis situated himself in between your legs, letting the weight of his cock resr against your folds and placing his hands on either side of your head, he could see the realisation of the situation in your eyes.
“Sure ya wanna do this, honey?” He whispered as he pressed a kiss on the corner of your mouth, the feeling of your hands gripping onto his upper arms sending a shiver down his spine, as well as the feeling of both your intimate parts connecting this way. “I don’t want ya doing any-“
“I’m sure,” you interrupted him, your voice coming out breathless already. Just the feeling of him being this close to you was already making you nearly lose your mind. You realised that losing your virginity was not something you just did and although you wanted to get rid of it, you’d always imagined it to be with someone you were actually in a relationship with. Someone you actually knew inside and out, but then again, your life never went the way you planned it.
And as you saw Elvis smile down at you as he placed one of his hands on the side of your face, his thumb caressing your cheekbone, you figured this wasn’t such a bad deal. Perhaps it wasn’t the way you imagined it, but maybe it was going to turn out even better.
You weren’t in a relationship with him, but for some reason you felt there was some sort of emotional connection. Whether it was a platonic or love connection, you hadn’t figured that out yet, you wanted this with him. They say you'll never forget your first time and as you looked up into his eyes when he gently caressed the tip of his cock through your folds and over your clit, you doubted the possibility of forgetting Elvis Presley even existed.
“Jus’ hold onto me,” he whispered as you gasped when he circled the tip of his cock against your clit, your nails softly digging into his flesh as you were still holding onto his arms. “I’ll be real gentle,”
You nodded your head, looking up at him in awe and not bothered one second by his necklace that once more softly swung against your chin. Elvis moved his hand down to wrap it around his length, situating himself at your entrance- looking back up at you, he couldn’t stop the small grin from breaking through on his features. The fact that you were digging your nails in deeper didn’t bother him and he slowly pushed inside of you, taking all the time you needed for him to bottom out and when he finally did, that grin was wiped right off his face.
The way you were so incredibly tight around him had him curse under his breath and he placed his forearms next to your head, fingertips caressing through your hair as he put a little more weight on you. He looked down into your eyes as he gasped softly, gently pressing his forehead against yours as you squeezed your eyes shut. He could feel your walls fluttering around him repeatedly and your thighs trembling as you had them wrapped around his waist. He shushed you softly, trying to distract you from the sting by planting soft, open mouthed kisses all over your face.
“Relax, baby, relax,” he cooed. “Ain’t gonna feel good if you don’t.”
You opened your eyes to look at him again and when he noticed a stray tear roll down your cheek, he quickly wiped it away as he frowned in concern. Worry filled his chest.
“Shit- I didn’t mean to cry,” you quickly turned your head and wiped some more tears that you couldn’t hold back away. You felt like an absolute idiot- when you first met Elvis, you had seemed so confident and like you knew what you were doing, but here you were, crying about losing your virginity.
Compared to a man like him, you suddenly felt small.
Inexperienced.
Which was the truth, but still- you hated this feeling.
“Hey, hey,” he gently grabbed your chin with his thumb and index finger, turning your head back to look at him. He smiled down at you and pecked your lips. “'S okay to cry, Y/N. This ain’t nothin’, just… as long as you tell me if it hurts or if ya wanna stop, alright?”
You let out a little laugh as you wiped a last tear away and nodded, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He leaned down more and hid his face in your neck as his fingers were back in your hair to soothingly caress your scalp while whispering sweet nothings in your ear. As you gave him the green light to move, he pulled his face out of your neck as he pulled his hips back as well, slowly thrusting forward. You gasped as you held onto him for dear life, the sting was still very much there but the longer he was thrusting into you, the more the pain turned into pleasure.
Slowly but surely your body was starting to relax underneath him and he was pulling more and more moans out of you that didn’t sound so panicky anymore. You were starting to enjoy yourself and obviously, this didn’t go unnoticed by Elvis.
Raising himself a little by putting his flat hands next to your head on the pillow again, his thrusts gained pace as low grunts rolled off his tongue, a grin curling back on his face.
“Feel good now, baby?”
You bit your lip as you looked at him, your eyes a little more sultry this time as your ankles hooked together behind his back, nodding frantically. You were unable to keep yourself quiet just like you experienced when he was eating you out and you didn’t even care if the people in the neighboring rooms heard you.
“Y-Yes! God, Elvis- it feels s-so good,” you groaned, your mind spinning with the sound of his skin connecting to yours as he thrusted into you, the melody of his deep moans and grunts being one that you wanted to play over and over again. He smirked and crashed his lips against yours, kissing you hungrily as one hand came down to grab onto your thigh. As he rolled you around and you were suddenly on top of him, you looked  down at him and admired the way his raven hair was messy and adorable, yet still so manly at the same time.
The cross pendant attached to the long necklace was resting on his chest which you found yourself obsessed with to run your hands up on, feeling his chest hair tickle under your fingertips. He grabbed onto your hips and slowly made you move onto him- all you knew to do was follow your instinct. He had no complaints as you kept your hands placed on his chest while thrusting yourself onto him, picking up the pace every few seconds. Elvis’ moans got a little louder and he moved his hands up, squeezing your breasts in his big hands.
“Fuckin’ hell,” he smirked as he sunk his teeth into his lower lip and moved his hands back to your hips to guide your moves again, licking his lips at the sight of your breasts bouncing along with your thrusts. He made you go even faster, knowing that you were feeling the same kind of pleasure as him because of the sound of your moans. “There’s a little fire cracker hidden inside ya, ain’t there?”
You laughed softly as you grabbed onto his forearms, throwing your head back as you moaned while concentrating on moving your hips which was a lot easier because he was helping you with it. Perhaps he was right and your wild side was awakened, but you figured that was exactly what was needed. For your future career, and all.
 
Your second orgasm was even more intense than the first one. Elvis had sat up and wrapped his arms around your waist, keeping you pressed tightly against his chest as you went through it- you nearly choked him out as your arms were wrapped around his neck, your fingers tangled firmly in his locks. He grunted in your neck as your thighs trembled and your muscles clenched around him so tight that it had him spilling over the edge as well. Before he did, he quickly lifted you off of him and playfully threw you on the bed which made you squeal softly, sitting on his knees as he quickly jerked himself off the rest of the way, spurts of warm seed landing on your lower abdomen. You were still moaning despite the fact that he wasn’t even inside of you anymore, riding high on the post orgasm bliss. Elvis groaned lowly as his hips stuttered forward in his fist a few times before he let himself fall down on the bed next to you, both of you easily and comfortably slipping in the afterglow portion of things as you looked up at the ceiling, catching your breath.
“God, I need a cigarette after that,” you breathed out, laughing as you pushed some loose strands of hair out of your face, your ponytail an absolute mess right now.
Elvis thought it looked adorable.
“You and me both, kid,” he chuckled, slowly sitting up and swiping his pack of cigarettes from the bedside table, putting two in his mouth at the same time. He lit them and handed one to you, which you gratefully took before you took a long drag from it. You exhaled the smoke up to the ceiling and then turned your head to look at him as he laid on his side next to you, leaning his head in the palm of his hand. “How was it?”
“It was… amazing,” you grinned at him, rolling onto your side as well to have a better look at him. You rolled the cigarette that was in between your fingers along the rim of the glass ash tray that he put in between you before taking another drag. “I guess losing my virginity to a porn director is one for the books,”
He laughed at the grin on your face and blew out some smoke, shaking his head a little at the way your playful nature was showing once again. He liked that about you.
“As long as you credit me for giving you your first and second orgasm in your little book, all’s fine with me,” he joked back as he shot you a wink and kissed your cheek before rolling onto his back and taking a long drag from his cigarette. You laughed and nodded- obviously it was all jokes. There wasn’t going to be any book, ever.
Your life simply wasn’t interesting enough for that. Neither did you figure it ever would be.
 
“How about that room service?” He asked as he killed his cigarette in the ash tray when he smoked most of it. Before he could get up, you stopped him and got up from the bed. Fishing his shirt from the floor, you put it on and grinned at him.
“I’ll get it,”
“Atta girl,” he smirked as he playfully smacked your butt before you walked over to the door.
The thought of stepping out of a world where your butt was smacked on the daily and stepping into another one where the same thing was happening made you giggle.
The universe surely bends you in funny ways, but you’d take that kind of attention from Elvis Presley over any other man any day.
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taglist: @notstefaniepresley @powerofelvis @breadsquash @generoustreemystic @ab4eva @marriedtopresley @steph-speaks @ellie-24 @dollksj @webbedwebs @re3kin @wivette @eliseinmemphis @18lkpeters @rosepresley @ccab @whatstruthgottodowithit @dkayfixates @lettersfromvenus @elvisalltheway101 @that-hotdog @robinismywife @jaqueline19997 @raginginkedslut @joshuntildawn13
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deathofacupid · 2 months
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game (headcanon) | clay jensen
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a/n: something. i had to post something. (i'm halfway through season three, any requests can only be made in the timeline of season one + two + three! please, no spoilers! (i'll cry.) i wanted to write something, literally anything, to get the creative wheels turning. this is kind of just a starting point for me. italics - clay; normal - ...anyone that isn't clay.
summary: how you and clay became you and clay.
warnings: mostly fluff, some depressive/suic!d@l thoughts (nature of clay), it's 13rw... let's face it, the show tackles some dark stuff.
pairing: fem!reader x clay jensen
word count: 0.79k+ words
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-after hannah, clay wasn't great at putting himself out there, especially when it came to girls.
-the biggest thing he'd be worried about was girls. once hannah passed, the main reason he was having trouble was because he was trying to find another hannah.
-clay couldn't help but compare everyone to her.
-it was funny though, because the second he saw you, it was like; who's hannah? the world of "before hannah" and "after hannah" was gone.
-in that moment, when you'd first locked eyes, anything revolving the mere thought of hannah disappeared. he didn't have to think about her, and as selfish as it feels to him, it was refreshing. relieving.
-and you know what? he loved that feeling. he loved the feeling of cloud nine.
-sure, plently of times he'd considered asked you out. and then the thought would hit him like a brick; he's never even said a word to you. how's he going to ask you anything at all, if he can't even utter yet a simple "hi" to you?
-trust me, he tries. clay tries a whole lot. but he'll be inches away, and freeze up.
-part of him is afraid to love again, because what if everything ends up like hannah? like one big repeat? he's not sure if he can live through that again. it was hard enough the first time around.
-eventually, he gives up, choosing to admire you from afar.
-it's luck for him, however, when you're the one to break the ice.
-he remembers it clearly, how you lean over during english lit.
-"clay? do you have any idea what we're doing. because... yeah, i wasn't listening." / "huh? what? oh, uh, yeah- yeah, it's chapters 12-15, questions 1-10."
-he's panicking. you're talking to him.
the second time, you're complaining about your math grade to a friend. he's not even thinking when he blurts out:
-"i can help you. like, tutor you or whatever. i'm pretty good at it." / "wait, really? like, for real?" / "sure."
-clay's non-chalant on the outside, not so much on the inside.
-you seem happy, and instantly, he is too.
-the first thing he does is head into his room, kicking justin out.
-"yeah, okay, well, the adoption papers strongly disagree." / "please? y/n's coming over! i need this to go well." / "y/n? no shit?" / "no shit."
-justin gives in, he's clay's number hypeman anyways. justin lingers in the main house, and then finally wanders to find jessica. that's not clay's concern right now, though.
-it's his room. or more specifically, his shared room. he's freaking out, he hasn't been this nervous since the trial, as he shoves all - i mean all - of justin's crap into the closet, then cleaning up his own.
-he hesisitates over his akr comics, before shoving them in a drawer.
-clay showers, it won't hurt, and spritzes on some of justin's more... masculine colongne.
-half an hour later, there's a knock at the door. he's giddy as he answers it, yet nervous as well.
-"nice house-shed." / "thanks."
-he hopes it a compliment. you're nodding in approval, taking in his room. (shared room.) the little trinkets and trophies.
-and the one akr comic he left out.
-"oh, you read these?" / "y-yeah. i mean, yes. i do. wait- do you?" / no, but my little brother does."
-it's incredible how the conversation flows so smoothly after that.
-after a while, you and him got close. suddenly, it wasn't just study/tutoring sessions, it was hangouts at your place and his.
-everyone thought the two of you were dating, starting with justin.
-he would just be talking to his brother, and it would slip in.
-"how's it going between you and y/n?" / "what's going?" / "dude, you still haven't said anything?" / "there's nothing to say."
-or between his parents:
-"clay, honey, how's your girlfriend? you should bring her over for dinner!" / "we aren't dating, mom." / "really?"
-and more frequently, at school. everyone just assumed you and him were together, and at some point, you stopped correcting them.
-"hey, man, your girlfriend left her jacket in class." / "i'll give it to her."
-somewhere along the line, the difference between dating and not-dating blurred, to the point where you weren't even sure what was going on.
-"hi, not-boyfriend." / "hey, not-girlfriend."
-^became a regular occurence.
-"should we just date? y-you know, because everyone thinks we are... so... it's like-" / "sure." / "okay. wait, really?" / "yeah, why not? i'm suprised it took you this long. i'm literally always flirting with you." / "oh."
-like i said, clay isn't always the best with girls. it doesn't matter though, because you have enough game for the both of them.
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here2bbtstrash · 1 year
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alright besties~*~ i feel i owe you an update so let's strap in, shall we?
TLDR: the final chapter of LDOMLT is not gonna be ready by 1/31. i don't know when it will be done, but i do know that i want to take my time with it and not force it. this means you're going to see me post other writing before i post chapter 11. if that makes you sad, i'm sorry (and also: me too lol). LDOMLT is not dead, it's not cancelled, it's not even on hiatus. i just can't say when the last chapter will be posted right now. once i feel like i can commit to a date, i will shout it from the damn rooftops lmao. but right now, i need to switch gears.
i hope you can understand or at the very least respect this choice, and please know that i love you all so so much. i just wanna give you the best ending possible, and as it turns out, that shit takes time!
longer version under the cut 💜
siiiiiiigh. i didn't want to have to make this post 😭 but y'all, i am really, really blocked. i kept telling myself that i would figure it out, magically get unblocked (it's happened before!) and be able to meet my 1/31 date (or if not 1/31, then at least 2/5...... hello grammys 👀). but right now neither date seems like a possibility, if i'm honest with myself. in part because i've got a whole stew of personal life shit going on as well! (some of it not so good, and some of it ..... very good lol 😏)
and the way i've been spinning my wheels over this is starting to feel unproductive and honestly, not great for my mental health (i **cried** last night because i was so frustrated that i couldn't make words happen. we'll blame that one on my period but 😩 omg! tears!!!)
so... what do i do? well, i actually feel like playing that ask game the other day made me realize: i need to write other things right now. amazing how the moment i put down this chapter 11 draft, ideas and words just flew out of my brain so easily!! and i have all these other wips i'm dying to get to, but i kept telling myself "not until we finish chapter 11", and i think that's gotten me into a bit of a mental bind 😞
so, as previously hinted at in past posts - i am gonna move forward with ~*~jihope month~*~ in february and allow myself to work on other things 💜 i'll make a separate announcement for that soon, but i'm very excited to dedicate a whole month to writing and reading about my two best boys 😩 and i'll be taking drabble requests too, which i think is gonna help me find my footing again creatively ✨
i know it might be disappointing to see me post writing that isn't LDOMLT chapter 11, so let me preemptively say: i get it 😞 and i'm sorry 😞 and i really really REALLY 👹 also wanted this chapter to be out before february. but the muse has other plans! and i just have to make peace with that even if i hate it lmao. i hope you all can understand where i'm coming from, and if you can't understand it, i hope you can at the very least respect it 💜
to be clear: i'm not gonna stop work on this chapter, but i'm also not gonna force it. if i manage to unblock and get it finished in february, i'll post it in february! (sorry to jimin and hobi lmao) but i don't want to try and hold myself to yet another date only to watch it zoom by with my chapter still unfinished, because that shit is depressing lmao. so right now, i cannot give you any kind of timeline on when ch11 will come. only that it will, and that i'm never ever gonna give up!! 💪
i also hope you can understand that i won't be answering asks about when chapter 11 is coming, and imma be swift with the block button if anyone tries to guilt me about this decision 💜 because i love y'all endlessly, but let us not forget that i do this shit for free, on top of a full-time job and the rest of my life (and now also on top of getting laid irl 🎉)
however, i have no doubt that 99.9% of y'all are going to be nothing but kind and supportive about this 🥺🥺🥺 i've already gotten so many lovely asks and comments and messages (not all of which i've replied to 💀) and i will never find the proper words to tell you how much i appreciate them. when you tell me to take my time and not stress, that you'll wait as long as it takes, that you want me to rest and take care of myself. it means so much and idk what i did to deserve such wonderful people and friends reading my work - all i can say is thank you thank you thank you 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️
so yeah 😩 not the announcement i wanted to make, but it's the one i have to make right now. writing is so hard sometimes 😭 but i am determined to give this series an ending that i'm proud of and satisfied with! it just needs a little more time to get there. 💜
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The Fate You Fight - Pt. 3
Wanda Maximoff x F!Reader
Word Count: 5.7k
[TFYF Masterlist]
Tags: soulmate AU, telephatic link soulmate, architect!reader, jewish!Wanda, post-MoM, hurt/comfort, no proofreading
Warnings: mention of abuse, description of violence, language, mention of attempted suicide
Summary: You never wanted anything to do with your soulmate, but when you find her in an advanced state of distress you had to help. After that, it becomes hard to let her go.
A/n: okay, now we've caught up with what ive written so far, and im replenished in serotonine (your comments give me so much of it you have no idea), so it should make it easier for me to finish writing this piece. Although stressing out because im getting my wisdom teeth removed soon so rip me. Anyway, love you guys, i hope you like this chapter! <3
Taglist: @red1culous @yenmaximoff (since you said you wanted more)
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A few more days went by, and Wanda assured you she was fine with you going back to the office most of the day. She seemed to really be doing better now that she had people who supported her, but she seemed bored. You quickly discovered that her life before all this rarely gave her time to find a hobby outside of watching old tv shows. When with the Avengers she spent most of her time training, and before that she was a lab rat, so that wasn't fertile soil to develop interests.
Still, she made an effort to find an occupation, she started reading, tried Anath's video games, even played around with some old art supplies you bought once upon a time and never truly picked up later on. But nothing seemed to really scratch the itch.
Then one day, as Anath was home - she had inherited a week of night shift - and watching the news, a report came about an ongoing battle in the center of Manhattan where the newest members of the Avengers were fighting some terrible danger and were in a really precarious position. Wanda looked at the report in horror, then outside the window from where she could see a column of smoke rising. Before she had even time to think about it, she went to the balcony and jumped into action.
Immediately your best friend called you to inform you of what just happened, and you had to excuse yourself as you went to the closest computer near you, pushing the hands of its user to take control.
"Hey! What's wrong with you Y/ln?"
"Shut up, Dave."
You pulled up a live news feed and looked as your soulmate just arrived on the fight scene just in time to save the new Black Widow and Hawkeye from being crushed by debris. She then flew to the danger and what looked like a very violent battle started while the news anchor commented on the witch's return.
You had a bad feeling about this.
At least the fight didn't last since Wanda took care of the threat in a few minutes, top, before taking off into the unknown. You bolted from the office, trying to get a hold of Wanda's phone, unsuccessfully.
Shit.
Was she going to be okay? She hadn't used her powers in a while, and after the Sokovia Accords she kept a low profile since she was a fugitive. Her appearing out of nowhere like that was bound to bring some unwanted attention.
That was bad.
Finally, she answered her phone.
"Wanda, where are you?"
"The outskirt of the city. I didn't want to go back to your place and risk bringing attention there." That was actually smart.
"Okay, ping me your location, I'm picking you up. In the meantime, stay hidden."
She did what you asked for, and after a while she was climbing in your car. Immediately she noticed how white your knuckles were on the wheel.
"Y/n…"
"Not now." Your voice was strained and dry, trying to hide any form of emotions.
Wanda recoiled in her seat while your eyes stayed glued on the road. The way home was quick but heavy with what you left unsaid, but what worried her even more was the lack of your voice in her head. Were you truly not thinking anything, or did you cut her off? She had no way to tell, so when you closed the door behind you she turned to face you, eyes already filling with tears. But before she could say anything, you crashed into her in a crushing hug.
"I was so scared, Wanda, so scared." You plunged your face in the crook of her neck, taking deep breaths. She smelled like sweat and smoke after her fight.
"I'm okay Y/n, I'm good," she reassured you as she finally laced her arms around you, rubbing your back in slow circles. "I don't even have a scratch, I swear."
You actually took the time to examine her, backing away, your eyes roaming her in search of any visible wound. You nodded. Good. That was good. Still, you brought her in your arms again. You wanted to feel her against you, solid, there. When you finally let your arms slide off of her she took your hands in hers, her fingers still black at the tip but slowly going back to normal with time, and squeezed them gently.
"You feeling better?" She asked and you nodded.
Everything was good. There was just a question burning on your tongue but you had no idea if you should ask it. It was none of your business, you thought. On the other hand…
"Are you going to get back into superheroing?" You asked in a worried whisper.
Her eyebrows furrowed at the question as if she didn't think about it. And she didn't. "I don't know," she answered in a confused tone, because she truly had no idea. "I… I acted on instinct. They were kids. I had to do something."
You thought about it, pinching your lips before you nodded. "Okay."
"You're not mad?" She tilted her head at that, some more confusion etched on her face.
"No, no, I'm not mad. I–" you stammered and looked up at the ceiling as you looked for your words. "I was worried, but also… you're a kickass hero, and I kind of told you to do good. And if for you it means going out there and fighting, so be it."
"O-okay, that's… I'm… I don't know yet if–" she breathed out shakily. "I don't know if I will do that too often."
"That's good, I mean, fine, you know. Do that as often as you want," you rambled a bit and she laughed, and you did too. "God, you were so cool out there!"
You laced your fingers with hers and leaned forward so your foreheads touched.
"It felt good to help again."
"Okay, how about celebratory take out? Chinese?"
She rolled her eyes and shook her head when another voice sounded from the living room.
"I'm open to chinese."
Anath smirked at you and you blushed. You had completely forgotten she was here, and apparently Wanda had too since she was getting almost as red as her hair.
Your best friend laughed, and you took your phone out to get the food.
*
"Sooo, Y/n," Anath started and you could see she wanted something.
You raised your eyebrows. "Yes, Anath?"
"Wanda hasn't been using the guest room for a while." Where the hell was she going with this? "And my dad is coming to town for a conference soon."
Ah, that's where she was going. "And you want him to stay here."
She nodded sheepishly.
"I'll talk to her about it." You didn't even know what you were supposed to talk about exactly. You narrowed your eyes at Anath. "When is he coming?"
"In two days."
You drank your coffee. You were not looking forward to having that conversation.
*
"Sooo, Wanda," you started in a very similar way as Anath did earlier. Wanda frowned and let you continue while she steered the food in the pot.
"Anath's dad will be in town, and she'd like him to stay here. And you know. You've been sleeping with me. I mean, in my room, I mean, you know." You were feeling so flustered, it was getting ridiculous. Lately you had found yourself more nervous than usual around Wanda, your heart beating in your chest stronger than ever.
"Are you asking me to move in your room?" She was now arching an eyebrow and you felt dumb with your sweaty palms.
"It's just temporary, then–"
"Okay." Your eyes widened. "I'll move to your room."
"Oh, good. Huh. Temporarily?"
"If you want it to be."
You looked to the side, a hand on the back of your neck. "Let's try it out before we make any big decision."
It doesn't have to mean anything, after all. You would be fine, right? You were not at all developing a giant crush on Wanda after all, mhm, nope, never.
*
Two days later, you had emptied a few of your drawers for Wanda to fully move in your room for the week to come. It felt oddly natural to have her take up more of your personal space, but it also left you feeling uneasy, trapped by an all knowing universe, and it bothered you deeply. But as usual, you repressed your emotions as deeply as possible so you wouldn't have to think about it. So when Anath's dad, Ephraim, finally arrived, everything was ready.
As usual you spent a good five minutes listening to them exchange in Hebrew from the kitchen, not understanding anything until a translation seemed to pop in your head in Wanda's voice. That made you frown pretty deeply and you glanced at her as she seemed to follow the conversation along as she snacked on cashews - yours, by the way, apparently now she was okay with just stealing your food. Finally the man came to say hello to the both of you and was pleasantly surprised to hear Wanda speak Hebrew to him.
Anath threw a questioning look your way and you just shrugged. You had no idea she spoke the language or if she had any religious affiliation to begin with.
The rest of the day flew by, and you actually learned that Wanda was jewish, which, good for her. You already knew a bit from Anath but never truly took the time to study the matter that much. She admitted she didn't practice anymore, but she still received an invitation to join Anath's family during important holidays - along with the one you received every time one of them came around. You had a feeling this time you might actually take it if Wanda's thoughts were anything to go by.
The next morning as you were taking breakfast with everyone, a golden magic portal opened in your living room and Wanda immediately jumped on her feet when Dr. Strange and Wong came through. This was bad, you could tell, so you stood up too.
"Do you often have wizards coming through portals here nowadays?" Ephraim asked in a whisper towards his daughter and child-in-law.
"It's honestly starting to feel like a Tuesday," Jamie answered, Anath simply tilting her head, unable to deny it.
"Strange, what are you doing here?" A very nervous Wanda challenged, hands at the ready to use her magic.
"I could ask you the same question, Wanda. More so I should ask you the same question. I thought you died at the top of Wundagore," Strange answered, while Wong behind him was also assuming a fighting stance, just in case.
"I think I want that weird man to answer first," Anath piped up, drawing attention to her.
"I'm sorry, who, who are you?" He asked, looking at her.
"Dr. Anath Weiss. This is my apartment."
"Mine too," you added, while Jamie mumbled it and raised their hand to say they were an inhabitant too. Strange looked at the older man in the room.
"I'm just visiting, don't mind me."
He actually had a better look at him. "Are you Dr. Ephraim Weiss? You're the current director at UC San Diego Health, aren't you?"
"Oh, Dr. Stephen Strange! You used to be a prick."
This made Jamie spit out food everywhere on the table. Wong behind him seemed conflicted. He wanted to say something, but seemed to agree to a certain degree.
"Well, I'm not here to be disrespected, so, Wanda. Come with me."
You could hear a lithanie of 'no's coming from her mind and her eyes started to turn red. That was your cue to step in, so you did, taking a step to move in front of Wanda, between her and Strange.
"I'm sorry buddy, but she's not going anywhere."
He rolled his eyes, this was getting old. "And who are you?"
"Y/n Y/ln. I'm her soulmate."
He blinked at that, looking between the both of you. "But I thought–" he started, confusion all over his features, but it was quite clear what he thought for Wanda.
"You thought it was Vision."
Wait, what? Vision as in… The Vision? Hiding what you felt right now was hard, but you managed well enough since the wizards didn't seem to notice. Wanda shook her head.
"It was complicated," she said, and boy, it sounded like that. Maybe it was time to ask her some questions.
"Alright, so I take it you won't…" Strange had a look towards you, then your friends. "How about we talk about all this at Kamar-Taj?" He opened a new portal to the temple.
Wanda came closer to you and you extended your hand behind you to grab hers.
"I just want to talk," Strange assured her, "and why don't you bring Y/n with you? As a sign of good faith."
You gave Wanda an interrogating look, and after a few seconds of impossible to grab thoughts, she finally nodded. "We'll come." 
He stepped aside to allow you passage and you walked in the portal with Wanda. Wong came next, and then Strange. The three left in the kitchen looked at the golden ring which disappeared.
"Your place is very lively," Ephraim commented.
Anath drank her coffee, not answering to that. She liked it like that.
As you entered Kamar-Taj, you looked around at everything. There must have been a tornado going through recently with all the damages you could see around here.
"Where are we?" You reached to Wanda in your thoughts - it was the first time you were trying something like that - and she quickly answered, giving you the rundown on Kamar-Taj. Then she added the smallest details at the end.
"All the destruction is my fault."
That was a frown worthy moment, and you felt like you really needed a catch up. When you glanced at Wanda, she was looking down in shame, a slight tremble on her lips. You squeezed her hand reasuringly while you were led to a room. There you side down across Strange and Wong.
"So, let's start with the beginning. What happened after Wundagore."
No playing around with Strange. Wanda decided to simply comply and answer so it would be over faster.
"I survived, I wandered around and arrived in New York. I don't really remember how."
"Alright, then what?"
"I just…" she looked away. "I stayed around. I didn't know what to do. I really thought Wundagore would kill me."
"We thought so too."
Listening to that was painful, but that last part made you tic. "Wait a second," you intervened. "What's Wundagore?"
"It's the place of origin of an ancient powerful book of magic, one that corrupt people and that Wanda had in her possession until recently," Wong answered before Strange would keep him from doing so.
"Is that why…" you wiggled your fingers under the very annoyed look of Strange that you interrupted his interrogation.
"Can we keep going?"
"No, we can't." You snapped at him, your voice starting to fill with anger.
"What?"
You leaned forward and even if you had no power, no magic, no training to look even remotely menacing, the man still felt threatened somehow.
"You knew what she was attempting to do, destroy an ancient site of corrupting magic," a look at Wong and he nodded to confirm it, "and that she would supposedly die from it, which was clearly her goal from what I'm hearing, and you let her do it? Suicide by heroism? What the fuck is wrong with you?!"
Your voice went up and up with anger as you talked and everyone in the room looked at you like two new heads grew on you.
"Well, there was the whole Westview incident, and she just had killed a few people. And then tried to kill a kid," Strange explained, not liking the tone you were employing with him. "And the Darkhold is not really something you come back from."
"You kind of did," Wong pointed out.
"Yes, because it got destroyed."
You looked at the two men in front of you. "Weren't you supposed to be friend at some point? Or at least on the same team with the whole Avengers thing?"
"We weren't exactly– Yes, we collaborated."
"And you didn't stop five seconds to– to just–"
"We tried to give her an out. She was never coerced into attacking that kid, or into attacking here."
"You just fucking said that the magic book corrupted her! That the only reason you're okay is because she destroyed it! You got fucking lucky, because she managed to break the hold! AFTER IT CORRUPTED HER!" You stood up at that, already halfway there since you kept straightening from anger at each of your words. You couldn't take anymore. Wanda looked at your extended hand. "We're leaving. Do your magic thing so we can go home."
The blackened fingers found yours and pulled the witch up. Strange tried to keep you from going by standing in your face. At this point all you could hear was your blood pumping in your temples and before you knew it you punched him.
"Fuck!" That hurted more than you thought it would. Wong decided it was time to take the wheel and opened a portal for you.
"We will visit you again once you've calmed down," he still let you know and you sent him a deatly glare. "Not as enemies."
Once you went through the portal it closed behind you and the others - who were finishing breakfast - looked at you. Wanda bolted for the freezer and took out a pack of peas.
"Shit, what happened," Anath asked looking at you. It was the first time she saw you so mad.
"She punched Strange," Wanda answered and came back to you - you had collapsed on the couch - to press the peas to your hand through a hand towel.
"Good," Ephraim said under the disapproving glance of his daughter who was getting up and approaching you to examine your hand. "What? It's true."
"What did he do?" Your best friend asked, and you glanced at Wanda. She looked scared that you were going to say anything.
"He was just being a dick," you dismissed and as usual, Anath respected your boundaries, Wanda able to breath again.
She looked at your hand that was already bruising. "The last time you picked a fight was warranted, so I won't say anything. Plus your hand is fine, so, no worries. Just keep icing it for now."
You nodded and your friend assembled her side of the family to go out while Wanda stayed next to you, worry in her eyes. Gears seemed to turn in her mind about what just happened, so you were hardly surprised when she finally talked about the whole ordeal that happened.
"You know, they're right. I was beyond redemption at the time…" she looked at her own hands.
"Come on Wands, that's ridiculous. Look how far you've come."
"I tried to kill a teenager, Y/n." Her eyes full of tears found yours. "I wanted to steal her powers for selfish reasons, and for that I killed countless people. And the worse is that I didn't care."
"That wasn't you, that was the– the Darkhold." That was the name of the thing, you thought.
"No. It's not just that… I–" she blinked a few tears away, looking up at the other end of the room. It was time for you to know everything.
*
It took so long for her to tell you everything, from Vision's death to Westview and finally to the dreamwalking and Wundagore. You listened, never saying anything. There was nothing for you to tell anyway, it wasn't your story. From time to time you would give her a squeeze of the hand to help her continue, until finally she reached the final chord. It was all a lot to digest. By the end of it your legs were crossed on the couch and the peas were on the coffee table.
You needed some time to think but you could feel Wanda's expectant gaze shifting continuously between you and her hands, so you still wanted to say something.
"I can't find it in me to blame you, Wanda," you finally said. You refused to absolve her, but you couldn't condemn her either.
"You should. I told you I was a monster."
"You're not. You're only human." That seemed to get her attention for good, her eyes hungry for more explanations. "If I, if anyone, really, had your powers? And if I were in your situation? I'm not sure I would… I'm certain I wouldn't have done better. From Westview to Wundagore."
The red rim of her eyes shined with tears that should have already dried after she told you her story. "I'm destined to destroy the world, Y/n."
"Screw destiny!"
Your sudden fire made her jump. In all this story she gave you, you finally realized how much destiny, fate, whatever you wanted to call it, counted on you never being there for Wanda. Because of course someone who was left alone would want to destroy the world, would want for all of it to end even if it meant taking everyone else with them. And that gave you a real choice, and her too. You would fight so she could have it.
"I mean, fuck, you can't condemn someone because you think that one day they might do a bad thing. No, you help them, until they get better, and until you know they're not a risk anymore. You don't let them try and commit suicide." Your voice became weak under the heavy weight of your words. "People should have helped you."
"I didn't want their help."
"They should have still tried." I should have tried, you thought bitterly. But it was too late to change that now. "I want to try." That was the best you could offer, because you truly believed Wanda was good, that what happened was a fluke. And you also believed she had to make amends, do better.
"I'm not worth it."
Gently, you took both of her hands between yours. "I choose to believe you are."
She looked at your linked hands, and at the way your eyes were burning with so much hope and trust. Trust in her despite everything she did and everything she could still do. It was something she missed, that feeling that someone had her back no matter what. It was something you chose for yourself too. You chose to be there for her, and that alone made it all so much easier.
"How will I ever be able to thank you for everything?"
A warm smile spreaded on your face, a love - not romantic, not yet - evident in your eyes.
"Get better."
*
And she did. A few weeks went by, during which she came into contact with various people - the most notable being Clint Barton since he knew better than anyone else in the old team how she felt after everything she did, and she started seeing a therapist - one from Kamar-Taj who renounced her old life but agreed to use her knowledge for this very specific case. It helped ease Strange and Wong too, and even if they kept checking on Wanda, it was more in the spirit of making sure she was okay than real surveillance.
Jamie made good on his idea and every week they would select a special dish to cook for Wanda - sometimes with her too. She went ahead and helped the new Avengers from time to time when Clint was busy with his family, and you had the occasion to meet a few of them when they needed patching up and Anath was home. Your place was quickly becoming a secondary med bay for them, and you had to remind them that it was still your place of living, so from time to time they would bring food and drinks and impose a game night.
The friendship between you and Wanda grew, and so did your crush, but you were still hesitant to act on it despite your best friend's sporadic remarks that she clearly liked you too.
"It's not the problem, An'," you told her one day. "It's that I'm not sure if she's ready for a relationship. Hell! I'm not sure if I'm ready."
"Sounds to me like you're just avoiding your feelings."
"Which kind of proves my point, doesn't it? If I were ready for a relationship, I wouldn't feel the need to avoid my feelings." Anath sent you a weary look.
"Why are you like this?"
"Years of unresolved trauma," you answered as you picked up a bag of potatoes to throw in your shopping cart. "And I just… I don't want to rush. Plus it's not because we're soulmates that we have to be together that way."
"But you want to."
You did. Sometimes it would keep you up at night, and you'd have to stay in the living room until she fell asleep so that you wouldn't keep her awake by admiring her - yes, it happened often enough that it became a problem.
"That's irrelevant. She had a husband and kids that she lost inside a month of time. I can't just spring my feelings on her like that."
Anath sighed and gave up. She knew that even if you were now more open to the soulmate subject, your situation was still hard to deal with. If anything were to ever happen, it probably would come in time. You were certainly in no hurry.
*
"So, anything new with Y/n? Maybe a date or two?" Clint asked while he was checking the breakfast aisle with Wanda. She acted like she didn't hear the question, but the blush on her face showed otherwise. Sometimes even just thinking about you would elicit very strong reactions from - and within - her. "Come on kid, it's obvious."
"Well. No, nothing happened. We're just friends." A very sad truth if there ever was one. You had a few 'moments' where there had been a spark, where eyes fleetingly found the other's lips, but neither of you ever acted on it. It was always a bit awkward after with the tension in the air, but it was all but forgotten the next morning when you would wake up in each other's arms. Which might also be something you needed to discuss, because for all accounts and purposes, you were a couple in a lot of aspects of your life. "I don't think she wants more."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because if she did, she had plenty of occasions to show me. Or tell me." She picked up a box of cereals - Kate's favourites - and put it in her cart.
"Have you thought that maybe she's trying to give you space and time?" Clint pointed out in all his wisdom.
"What if I don't want space and time?" She walked over to the next aisle. "What if I want more?"
"Well, then you'll have to tell her." He put some boxed mac&cheese in the cart for Yelena - Jamie hated it. "I know she can literally read your mind, but maybe she has a reason not to act on it."
"What would that be?"
So many answers came to Clint's mind, but he decided to keep most of them for himself and instead impart some wisdom. "What you want is not always what you need, and maybe she thinks that even if you both want each other, you both need to take some time before you rush into anything."
Wanda considered his words. He was probably right, you had always been very attuned to what she needed. She actually talked about it with Therese - her therapist - and pointed out pretty much the same thing as Clint did. You both had heavy trauma, and rushing might cause more damages than anything else. It could cause one of you to panic, or trigger unexpected trauma.
"I don't like it, but I see your point," she said in a careful tone. Clint smiled at her proudly - he could see how far she'd come, all her progress, even if she still had a long way to go.
"I'm glad you do." He looked over her shoulder at something on the other side of the store. "Now I suggest we go, I think Yelena just broke something."
Wanda turned around only to see the assassin and Kate trying to hide their latest catastrophe.
*
Days went by, then weeks and months, and the more time went by, the harder it was to resist your feelings and the way Wanda would look at you, full of hope. It was one you gave her, that now had grown to be her own. It wasn't just hope to be with you, to find a shoulder to cry on so she would feel better, it was all she aspired to do in the future, with or without you by her side. And it was beautiful, but you still wondered if you could do it.
"Wanda!" You heard someone call as you were walking with her towards the portal Wong made - you had taken a habit to take tea with him while Wanda had her therapy session after you helped with Kamar-Taj rebuilding. You turned around to see a young woman with a jean jacket. Wanda recoiled against you, a panic you hadn't seen in her eyes in a while taking over her.
She's right here, everyone trusts you, Wanda, it would be so easy to just take it. Take it. Take it.
The life she dreamed of with her boys had lost some of its appeal to her - maybe because of how heavily she associated it with Vision -, but from time to time, she still heard that voice inside of her, still saw their faces, and heard their voices calling for her. But she kept fighting it, saw it for what it was now, grief appropriated by an evil she was still fighting. Nowadays, her fingers barely showed any signs of the corruption she went through, but she still felt its effects in those moments.
The young woman - America, you guessed - stopped in front of you both, so you took Wanda's hand in order to reassure her.
"I'm joining the Avengers!" She exclaimed excitedly.
"Are they running out of recruits? Between you and Kamala, you're gonna bring the age demographic through the ground," you commented. You loved Kamala, but she was way too young to fight crime. And from what you saw, America was too.
"Well, I'm not joining-joining, but I'll be helping during minor crisis! And if I'm supervised by a senior Avenger, sooooo…" her eyes fell on Wanda once again. "What do you say? Want to team up?"
"I– I'll have to think about it," she answered, her voice wavering.
"Sure! Oh and don't worry about the whole trying to kill me for my powers thing. I talked with Strange and Wong, and they say you're cool now! And I trust them, so, I trust you too!"
That made you wince, and a quick look at Wanda told you all you needed to know without even hearing her thoughts.
"Anyway, gotta bolt, see you soon!"
And with that she left as fast as she came. Wanda and you finally went through the portal and soon enough you were home alone. You turned to look at her, make sure she was okay, but as you did, you could see that she was anything but. Slowly you guided her to the couch and sat her down, doing the same with one leg under you so you could face her.
"Wands…?"
"I– I can't, Y/n," she murmured when she finally dared to glance at you.
"That's okay, you don't have to accept."
"I don't even understand– why would she ask me? I tried to kill her."
You thought about it. "Maybe she feels like your set of powers make you the best candidate," you shrugged. That was the only explanation you could conjure up. If Strange were here, maybe he would suggest that it had to do with the both of you reminding her of her mothers. "I don't think it really matters why, just that she asked and whether or not you feel up to it."
"Do you think I should do it?" She asked you. She would do it on occasion, ask your opinion on matters she had a hard time resolving. She liked that your perspective was usually more global than her, as you would look at the problem from a more distant eye.
You blew up your cheek before you let out a deep sigh. "I mean… you're an exceptional witch, and maybe spending time with the girl might actually help you heal from what happened with her."
Wanda clearly still felt guilty about it, as she should, but if America was ready to forgive her and even work with her, then maybe it was a good occasion to show that she truly changed.
She followed your train of thoughts and nodded. "That's a good point…"
"But you still need time to think about it." That made sense, it's not like it was a small decision to take. She nodded in answer.
"When she approached us, I… there was this voice in me–" she started, and you knew what she was talking about. She had revealed to you at some point how sometimes she would feel tempted, how she wanted to use her powers to make the universe bend to her will, and how hard it was to do so. The first time she told you, she cried so much about it. To her it was proof she was a bad person, but to you it just showed how much of a fighter she was.
"That voice isn't you, you know it," you said as you wrapped yourself around her and she sank into you.
She never answered your statement, but she didn't need to. You could hear her loud and clear, fighting her doubts with your words.
"Why don't we watch something so you can clear your mind a bit, and we can talk about it again tomorrow morning?" You offered.
She nodded and you took a better position on the couch, allowing her to lean against your front, and you put on her favourite show.
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ravs6709 · 10 months
Text
These Feelings Inside (How Deep Do They Go)
Chapter 10- Look At Me
Previous. Next. Masterlist.
Or read on ao3 here!
Word count: 3.0k words
Finally back with another chapter!!! A bit longer, so enjoy!
warnings: panicking (panic attack kinda but not quite), swearing
•~•~•~•~•~•
"Sophie, can we talk for a bit?" Edaline asked.
Grady was standing beside her, so she figured it was important. Keefe and Fitz seemed to have the shop under control.
"What's up?" she asked.
Edaline and Grady shared a look. "Not here. In our room."
Well, that was a little weird. It wasn't that often that she went in their room, she liked giving them privacy and they were rarely in their room in the first place.
Sophie walked with them there. It was a light, airy room, decorated a little bit but what always grabbed Sophie's attention were the picture frames. The ones of Jolie, especially, as pictures of Jolie weren't found anywhere else around the house.
"We need to talk about Keefe," Grady said.
Sophie turned to him. "What? Is something wrong?"
Grady just looked at her, Edaline too, though her gaze was more sympathetic.
"Sophie, we're happy to have Keefe here and all, and we've refrained from asking too many questions, but don't you think things are a little strange?" Edaline asked.
"No government ID, they haven't been able to even give me a last name, and they're just relying on your name for income. You know they can't rely on you for everything, right?" Grady continued.
...I think I rely on them more than they do me.
"Are you kicking them out?" Sophie blurted out, feeling dread build up.
"No," Edaline said, while Grady said "Not yet."
"Seriously, kiddo," Grady said, "it couldn't have been that long since you've known them, otherwise you would've told us about your 'online friend'. The lack of last name, that's what gets me. How could you know that they're what they say they are?"
"I know their situation, I've seen it," Sophie murmured.
"You've also seemed more stressed since their arrival," Edaline added.
Sophie felt bad, because she was right, but somehow, the more time that passed, the less she felt like blaming Keefe, even though it was very much their fault.
"We're worried for you, and the toll everything will have on your heart. You've been looking more blue lately."
Sophie blinked, getting the basic idea, but she was so confused at the weird way they were going about saying it. "I'll be fine," she said.
She truly hoped that the more she said it, the more she'd grow to believe it.
"We're still housing them," Grady said, "and even if we did kick them out, we wouldn't leave them with nothing. But you come first, remember that."
Sophie nodded.
~•~•~•~•~•
"So... you want to go on a date?" Fitz asked. "Later today?"
"Sure," she agreed. A date with Fitz! She wanted to do a little dance, even though it'd been a few days since she officially became Fitz Vacker's girlfriend.
"We could go watch a movie."
"But if Foster leaves, what am I supposed to do?" Keefe said, appearing out of nowhere.
Fitz rolled her eyes. "Sophie's not your mom."
They grinned. "I know. I'm older."
"That's not what I meant. But how old are you?"
"That's a secret!"
Sophie held back a sigh of relief. Though, she did wonder how old they really were. She remembered how they said it'd been at least a year since they were turned into a siren. They looked to be around her age, maybe slightly older.
"Fitz and I want some alone time, no third wheeling," Sophie told them, because she really wouldn't put it past them to spy on her date. Sure, there were going to be moments where she'd be tempted to kiss Fitz, but she knew not to risk anything.
"Me? Third wheel? I would never."
They continued working their shift and after that they got ready for their date. She took out a cute top Biana bought for her but she said she'd never wear. A date with Fitz! She felt like the same giddy highschooler that she'd been back when she first fell for him. When he came back to pick her up, she linked elbows with him and they drove to the movie theatre.
The movie was fine, although a cliche romance story. She honestly paid more attention to staring at Fitz, holding his hand and feeding him popcorn more than anything else.
This was what she'd wanted so badly. His eyes on her, smiling his charming smile at her. For him to feed her popcorn too, to hold her face in his hand, his eyes flitting down to her lips and—
Sophie kissed his cheek before she could be too tempted and do anything more.
"I don't want to rush you," he whispered, but she could see disappointment flash in his eyes, "do you know how long until you can..?"
"I don't know. I want to, I really do, but I can't." She kissed his other cheek, and this time, his expression softened. "Not yet. But I will, one day."
He took her hand in his, bringing it to his lips. "As I said, I'll wait for you."
He turned back to watch the movie, and she turned away too. I'm sorry, she wanted to say. I must be disappointing you so much, aren't I? You waited all these years for me, and...
She didn't even notice when the movie had finished, or when Fitz had walked her back to the car, only when Fitz was calling out her name and she absently picked up a bottle of water in her hand did she realize that the world had muted. She weakly opened the cap, downing half the bottle, noticing how hot she felt. It was the withdrawal again, but she had taken a bath not that long ago...
"Sophie," Fitz whispered, "are you okay?"
She nodded. "Sorry."
God, she couldn't even go through the whole date without making things go wrong. Though she felt a little better, Fitz still insisted on helping her inside.
"So, you two, how was the date?" Keefe asked from the dining room table. "Oh, Foster doesn't look well."
"Nothing that a little rest and hydration won't fix," she replied.
Keefe looked at her, then shrugged. She figured they got the message.
"We could have our next date next week?" Fitz asked. "On my birthday?"
Sophie grinned. "You'll spend practically your whole day with me. Movie midnight, sleepover, work, date and party."
"I'll enjoy every minute of it."
"Ugh, gross," Keefe gagged, and both of them turned to glare at them. "You two are insufferable."
"Not as insufferable as you are," Sophie said, rolling her eyes.
~•~•~•~•~•
Over the next week, she noticed that the withdrawals started to come more frequently, but it wasn't like she could just spend all day in a bathtub. So instead, she bought herself a giant shiny cup to drink water out of. It honestly worked better than she thought it would, and she wondered why she never tried doing this in the past, considering she was usually dehydrated.
"That's strange," Biana remarked, upon seeing Sophie refill the cup after having already drunk the entire cup once.
"I'm in my hydration arc," she told them.
"That's a first," Biana said.
Sophie snorted. "I know, right?"
After her shifts, she usually went out with Keefe to the water for a proper rehydration, plus it allowed for them to do so too. While her afternoon outings with Keefe were already a constant, they began to become something more daily. Going to the water allowed them both to get their water intake plus it allowed for some privacy to talk about any siren stuff.
She knew it meant spending less time with Fitz and Biana, and she wasn't completely oblivious to Fitz's questioning stares, but what could she do?
~•~•~•~•~•
"I'm getting good vibes today," Keefe declared. "Let's go, I'm feeling that Marella and Linh might be back."
"Oh?" Sophie replied, "good vibes, huh?"
She wasn't the biggest fan of leaving things up to fate or luck, but when nothing new could be learned, or no actions could be taken, luck was really all she had. If Marella and Linh were back, then maybe they'd have figured out an answer and all this siren stuff could be over.
She could go back to her normal life. Keep Keefe in it too, even have Marella and Linh hang around. She wondered if maybe other sirens could use this knowledge too. Wouldn't that be nice? They wouldn't have to be alone anymore.
The two of them headed out, though Marella and Linh weren't there.
Keefe sighed. "Damn it, I was really hoping."
"It's fine," she said on autopilot. "Maybe tomorrow."
"Maybe," they shrugged.
They went on to that little piece of land and laid there on the sand. Sophie turned to look at them, poking their cheek.
"Foster, what are you doing?"
"I'm bored," she said, poking them again.
They poked her back. She poked them again. They kept poking each other, and Sophie laughed, feeling relieved to be able to act so immature, even if for a little bit.
"Keefe?" she whispered, her hand drifting in their hair, ruffling it a little. "'m glad you're here."
Their eyes widened, and they turned to face up. "I thought I was insufferable. Don't worry though, I know. I'd be glad to have me here too. Can't resist the Keefester."
She punched their shoulder. "Oh, shut up."
"Oh, no no no, I will not. You care about me, Foster. Don't lie to me, I can see your heart." She honestly expected them to poke her heart, but instead, they stood up. "Getting late. I think it's past midnight."
"Oh shit?" Honestly, she was disappointed. She got up too, and they swam back to the mainland.
She picked up her phone and started absently going through her notifications, only to see a few missed calls from both Biana and Fitz. There were a few texts from each of them too.
Biana: Sophie? Are you running late?
Sophie?
Sophie where tf are you?
Keefe's unreachable too. Are you with them right? Seriously???
Sophie, did you really forget?
It's past midnight, what the hell. You actually just ditched us?
And then just one from Fitz.
Fitz <3: Where are you?
...and then her phone died. Damn this cold weather.
"Foster? Something wrong?"
"I think I was supposed to be with Fitz and Biana. But I have no idea what it is."
"Huh? Was there something you were supposed to do with them now? Let's just walk to their place, maybe you'll figure it out."
As they walked, Sophie tried to wrack her head for anything. She didn't recall making any plans. She thought of the date: October 27th. It didn't sound significant... what on earth was it that had both Biana and Fitz calling for her so urgently?
When she opened the door, it was to Biana's disappointed stare.
"Did something happen?" Sophie asked. "It's late."
Biana raised an eyebrow. "You mean you haven't figured it out?"
"I'm not a mind reader, Bi," she said, walking in. She looked around for Fitz, but he didn't seem to be around.
"He's upstairs, changing."
"Sorry," Sophie said.
Biana shrugged with one shoulder. "I'm not the one that needs it."
"Sophie? You're here?" Fitz asked from the stairs. "Hey, can we talk?"
Sophie went to climb the stairs.
"Alright, I'm coming with."
"Alone," Fitz continued, glaring at Keefe.
Sophie climbed up as Fitz led her to his room. When they entered it, Fitz locked the door.
"I'm being an awful girlfriend, aren't I?" Sophie asked, unable to look up at him.
A few seconds of silence. "Honestly, yeah. I want you to be honest with me Sophie, do you have a thing for Keefe?"
Her gaze wrenched upwards, looking up at him in shock. "What? No, I don't, why would you—"
"I don't get it. It took you a while for you to be comfortable with Biana and I, but with Keefe, it's effortless. They're touchy with you, just like that. I have been trying so hard to ignore it, because I have no right to control who you're with. But seriously? You ignored pre-established plans, plans for my birthday, when we never skipped our midnight movie, all for someone you've barely known. I'm your boyfriend, no—I'm one of your best friends and it hurts."
"I forgot," she mumbled.
His birthday. How on earth did she forget that? While she was prone to forgetting most dates, birthdays had always been a thing her brain instinctively kept track of. She'd been excited about it, the gift she bought for him was...
...what was it again? Her head felt heavy as she tried to recall, but it was like the memory didn't exist.
Memory, Sophie thought. A siren, their memories would—
No.
"Forgot," Fitz murmured, "Sophie, are you okay? Ever since Keefe came here, you've been more stressed, you've fainted once and nearly did again all within this month. You've been on multiple of your 'stress walks' and you've been drinking more water. You've been hiding something from me, haven't you?"
"No, I—"
"I won't judge. Even if you accidentally had a thing with Keefe and the reason why they're here is because you're pregnant and—"
"What?"
Fitz stopped talking. Sophie stared at him. "You think I—wait wait wait—"
She nearly burst into laughter, but only stopped herself at the serious expression on his face.
"I've been trying to think of any logical explanation. For your symptoms, for Keefe's presence, because we both—not even us, Biana and even your parents—know that the story you gave us sounds like bullshit. But I accepted it, thinking you'd tell me the truth eventually. I don't get it then, what's going on? And you also said I shouldn't blame Keefe for you being unwilling to kiss me, but isn't that the truth?
"You're hiding something from me," Fitz said taking her hands in his. He held them close to his chest. "I'm hurt that you don't think you can trust me, when we've known each other for so long."
And then, for a brief moment, a blue light drew her attention. Emitting from his chest where his heart was, was a series of blue swirls shaped like a heart. It looked exactly like Keefe's drawing of her.
Heartbreak.
She blinked, and then it was gone, but the pained expression on his face still remained.
"Do you want to know the truth?" she asked.
"Yes! I want you to be honest with me!"
She took a deep breath. She had to tell him, to alleviate that heartbreak. She never wanted to see his heart turn blue like that again.
"You remember what sirens are, right?"
"Mythological creatures that sing and seduce sailors to their death," he said slowly. "What does this have to do with anything?"
"They're real. And I'm—I'm one of them. Part, technically, I'm a half siren—"
"What the fuck are you talking about? Explain. Slowly. Please."
She took another breath. "Sirens, they're former humans who were cursed to lose all their memories and forced to stay in solitude underwater. They have a song that they sing to lure heartbroken humans so that they could pass the curse on to that human, all so that they can become a human once more.
"Keefe was a siren, and they tried to pass the curse down to me—it's not their fault though because sirens live in solitude and they just want to actually live again, but the transferring process went all weird so both of us just ended up as half sirens, though I'm slowly becoming a siren and Keefe human I guess and it means that—"
Fitz put his hand over her mouth, the other moving to wipe her face. Oh, she was crying.
"A siren," Fitz said blankly. "A siren? And you were... cursed? By Keefe?"
He took hand off her mouth. She looked down, afraid to see his reaction.
"Why didn't you tell me?" She looked back up at him, and his eyes were glimmering with tears. "You're going to become a siren? Is that... is that what I heard? Why didn't you tell me?"
His heart shone blue again.
"You believe me?"
"It's ridiculous. It sounds like bullshit," he sighed, running a hand through his hair, "but I'm choosing to believe you anyway. You should've told me earlier. Didn't we once promise each other to not keep secrets?"
("I'm scared, sometimes," Fitz once said, "I think I lucked out, getting to meet you. That we got to be friends. I get worried I'll lose you. Can you... can you promise me that we'll always be together? That we won't push each other apart, that we won't keep any secrets?"
Sophie looked at him, and all she thought was the biggest secret that she could never tell him. That she was in love with him. But that secret... that one would stay hidden, and she would never let it drive them apart.
And then she said... what did she say next again..?)
"I didn't want to burden you," Sophie said. "And you can't solve this problem."
"Burden me? Did you think helping you was a burden? That listening to your problems was a burden? Even if it is, it's a burden I'm willing to carry!" he grasped her hands again, brushing a thumb over the back of her hand. "I'm hurt that you thought I wouldn't always, always choose you!"
His heart shone even brighter. He was so close to her... she cupped his face in her hands, and brought herself closer, close enough to kiss—
Fitz shoved her away. She reeled back and stared at his heart, as it dimmed slightly.
"No. Not like this," he said, "I'm not letting our first kiss happen just because you want to appease me."
First kiss... she... she tried to kiss him, and his heart was clearly so broken—
She staggered towards the door, clumsily opening it.
"Sophie?"
She needed—she needed to leave, she couldn't control herself and she nearly transferred the curse to Fitz—she couldn't stay.
She flung the back door open wide, ignoring the feel of concrete against her bare feet as she ran. Away, she had to stay away, or else she'd ruin things.
•~•~•~•~•~•
TFI Taglist: @keefeinnit, @my-swan-song, @impostertamsong, @subrosasteath, @solreefs
Want to be added/removed to the TFI taglist? Just let me know!
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lunapwrites · 11 months
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I've gotten into the habit of doing my "next month at a glance" readings on the last day of the month. Kind of as a closing ritual of sorts. Cleaning house, preparing for the new, etc. I feel like this approach is nesting together rather nicely with my attitude towards... well, everything right now. Planning, reorganization, going into the day with my eyes wide open. I hate surprises.
So, my readings for the month of August came out with a theme...
Runes:
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Gebo - a gift. Ehwaz - travel, or transformation. Kenaz, reversed - an ending, creative fires blocked. (Rude, tbh, I have a fest piece I'm trying to finish by the end of this month lol. But valid.)
Oracle deck:
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Another two-card draw. Again, change and discovery.
Finally, the tarot reading:
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I'm still having a bit of trouble understanding how the major arcana slots into the elemental dignities, and there doesn't seem to be any kind of clear consensus on this so I'm just kinda going by vibes rn.
The way that this spread is currently set up reminds me a lot of the little elemental models in my chemistry class in college, with the suit cards forming the molecules and the major arcana cards forming the bonds - in this particular case, the term that jumps to mind is a covalent bond. They feel very strongly connected in all directions.
Eight of Wands is kicking the door down and demanding action. Wheel of Fortune supports this idea: this chapter is done, and I need to turn to the next.
Four of Pentacles is a little warning that I need to get rid of things - literally, things. The trash cans and donation bins are about to be my best friends. The time to do this is now, not later. But there's also an element of security here, too. I'm in a good spot, I don't need all that other crap.
Strength is reminding me to keep a firm grasp of my emotional responses to things - which are many, and varied, and intense. Channel them appropriately. I've been doing really well with this I think, so... more of that. And then there's the Page of Cups, which speaks to a lot of creative potential brewing for this month. I've got a few things I'm trying to get completed and posted this month, so... Hopefully I manage that.
The fact that there's this much pointing towards creation tells me one of two things: either the creative block indicated by kenaz is more of a speed bump than a true block, or I'm not going to wind up working on what I want, and will instead end up creating something else entirely. Only time will tell.
...All I know at this point is that if I don't get chapter 19 of LTL out by this month I'm literally going to scream. XD (I'm supposed to be going on vacation next month but it's with my partner's entire family and will likely be less relaxing than I'd hope.)
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sosoane1 · 2 years
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I posted 5,334 times in 2022
That's 813 more posts than 2021!
115 posts created (2%)
5,219 posts reblogged (98%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@captainjimothycarter
@crazyplantkatie
@kitsune-35
@falcon-chill
@wedonttradelives
I tagged 2,714 of my posts in 2022
Only 49% of my posts had no tags
#xfiles - 446 posts
#steggy - 89 posts
#doctor who - 80 posts
#mcr - 62 posts
#my chemical romance - 60 posts
#critical role - 52 posts
#wheel of time - 41 posts
#ncis - 36 posts
#moon's midnight post - 35 posts
#peggy carter - 34 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#like thats why i got into xfiles(my current obsession) why im watching buffy why i watched doctor who sherlock missmaisle owl house and more
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Ao3 is down so i cant read my morning fic like I'm a man in the 50's drinking coffee and reading the newspaper:(
9 notes - Posted June 6, 2022
#4
Chapters: 1/3 Fandom: The X-Files Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully, Dana Scully/Melissa Scully Characters: Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, Melissa Scully Additional Tags: High School, Teen Crush, Scully's favourit study spot just so happens to be where she can stare at mulder, Highschool AU, alternative universe Summary:
It's senior year for Fox Mulder and there are two new students at his school. Melissa and Dana Scully. Will their paths cross? How awkward is it when your newly assigned partner is your high school crush?
Tagging @today-in-fic
9 notes - Posted August 3, 2022
#3
River x Doctor "Can we keep it? Please?" 🥺🦖🦄🦇
Thanks for the Prompt! I had a great time making this! hope you like it.
Jim The Fish | 11 x River | 633w | AO3
The doctor had planned a beautiful date that had yet to turn into a dangerous situation, surprisingly since any time the doctor planned a date, he wouldn’t actually take into account the historical events of said date. A date in 15th century London was an excellent idea just not on the second of September 1666, let’s just say his plans went up into flames.
This time it was on Icoupra, a planet known for its amazing water features, oceans, seas, lake, and ponds. They had set up next to the Colothune pond.
River was wild but she did love those quiets moment when she could just exist with her husband. She longed for a normal life and this was the closest she would ever get. She had started to make an effort to remember the exact look in his eyes when he looked at her.
Those beautiful eyes, so full of love for her. The Doctor was playing on some stones that formed a line across the pond. He looked like a child playing in the water feature. He was being intentionally silly, just to make her smile. And it worked. God she loved him, as infuriation as being in a relationship with an ageless god could be, she loved him with every fiber of her being.
She was lost in her thoughts when she heard a loud ‘splash!’ The doctor was nowhere to be seen. She got up from her resting place and looked into the water as he emerged. 
‘Riv! Look!’ He shouted, drenched, and not minding the peace of algae on his head. He was holding up something that resembled a fish. He quickly approached her, doing his best not to drop the creature.
‘Can we keep it? Please.’ He said making his best puppy dog eyes at her.
‘Sweety, you can’t just take a fish out of a pond and keep it.’ She looked at the poor creature who was clearly struggling. She gently took it from his hands and released it back into the water. The fish gladly swam away, but then returned holding his head out of the water.
‘Thank you, lovely lady. You are much nicer than this vile man.’ Both The Doctor’s and River’s eyes grew wide as the creature spoke. ‘My name is Jim and that was my home that you decided to so carelessly walk on.’ The fish, or Jim, talked with a condescending attitude looking directly at The Doctor. If a fish could look angry, this fish was fuming.
‘Oh, I’m… I’m so sorry.’ The Doctor had seen many strange things, and surprisingly a talking fish was not one of them, or at least not a talking fish that looked like a fish. He looked to River for help with what to do in this situation but she had a great big smile on her face. She was glad that it was someone else who was scolding him for once.
‘He will help you rebuild.’ She offered.
‘That is a kind offer my lady, but I would prefer him anywhere that isn’t remotely close to my pond. You are welcome any time though.’ River was confused, was the fish flirting with her? How was it that a fish was better at flirting than her husband?
She leaned closer to The Doctor and whispered ‘I think we should head back, I’m sure we can find something else to do to occupy ourselves.’ Taking the peace of algea that was still on his head and flicked it away. The Doctor shivered at her words.
They promised Jim that they would pay for the damages and promptly packed up and headed back to the TARDIS. 
Once inside, they both bursted out laughing at the absurdity of the event. A talking fish! Who would have thought!
10 notes - Posted July 13, 2022
#2
I want Fox to be my dad
@100wednesday | TXF | Emily Sim | 100 Words | AO3
‘‘Mom? Do I have a dad?’’
‘‘No darling.’’
‘‘But I want Fox to be my dad. Can he be my dad?’’
Scully smiled at the question, she wanted nothing more than for her two favourite people to share this bond.
‘‘I think you should ask him that darling.’’
Emily turned on her seat at the kitchen table to face Mulder.
‘‘Can you be my dad?’’
He looked at Scully waiting for her approval. When she nodded he could have sworn his heart grew.
It would be the greatest honour Pumpkin.’
And that night, they were now finally a real family.
11 notes - Posted September 22, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
I enjoy making music quiz. Would anyone do a galavant music quiz if i made one or i shouldn't bother?
50 notes - Posted January 12, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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ryuzakemo128 · 2 years
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High Enough
A/N: Sequel to Angel Of The Mornin. I hope you like it as much as I did writing this.
Modern AU / Prequel / Chapter Two
Pairing- Thomas Shelby x Morgan Solace
Chapter One
Today, I'm going on date with an incredibly good-looking man that stopped and made the time to talk to me. I started freaking on the inside, then procedurally on the outside as well.
"What if he turns around and says he hates me?", I started pacing around the house, "What if I sound boring, like incredibly boring to the point of no return kind of boring?"
"I'm sure you'll be fine," She said to me as she continued to bug my cat, "Besides, you're like basically an artist and doctor combo. What's not to love about you?"
"A lot of things, my accent right down to my red hair and my extensive library that's currently under renovation," I huffed, my hands shaking and my insides twisting into a knot.
"He had to postpone it like several times remember? What if found out that I didn't tell him like hey I made all those artworks at that auction,"
"Now you just sound rather paranoid, I doubt he thought about of that at all and has his own personal reasons for taking several rainchecks,"
"Or he's actually married with four kids and just decided to get cold feet,"
"Weirdly specific, but reiterate you have nothing to worry about and I know for a fact. We've been friends for years and I'm thankful for that. but for fucks sake, stop pacing around like a hamster in a wheel."
"You have more dating experience than I have, you'd be-"
"Stop. Stop right there, you asked him out, I didn't and I know for a fact that you never dated someone because you told me while you were drunk once."
I started fidgeting as my friend helped me do my hair in a bun leaving the fringe out to fidget with. I didn't know what was too much or too little, as I only ever dated one guy back in high school and that didn't end as pleasantly as I would have wanted it to.
"He'll love you as much as I think he does, if not more so than that. So do us both a favour and relax, take a deep breath. You'll be fine, it's a date, not a job interview, dumbass."
"I hope you picked the right type of vibe when it comes to outfits Linda, I don't want to come off as bold as you do. I don't have the personality to match it," I yelled out while laughing nervously.
After getting dressed into the outfit my cousin Linda picked out. I hoped it was enough for something like the first date. Still did nothing for the nerves that are currently screaming and crying right now. But it certainly helped.
"I think it'll be cooler if you took the bike this time," Linda suggested, "I'll keep an eye on Mr Midnight." She added as I left to on a date with Thomas Shelby. I put on my helmet and grabbed the spare one.
"I certainly hope you don't find this god awful or weird. I hope you don't even think about this part afterwards." I thought to myself on the way to get pick him up for the date.
"Hey, I'm outside and whenever you're ready let me know," I sent to him as I parked the motorcycle somewhere.
"I'll be a little late, sorry, will be there as soon as possible" I read the text, thinking "This is actually happening, holy lord and the four horsemen of hell, it's actually happening."
After a few moments later, moments being possibly five to ten minutes later and he walked out, "Hi, How are you this mornin?" I asked,
"I'm alright, are you doin alright though? You look nervous,"
"Honestly? Not really, no. Pretty nervous actually, still nervous too," I started fidgeting, "I had a weird idea that I'd pick you up with this lovely thing here and go to a lovely coffee shop that I think you'd like,"
"Sounds like you've planned it out," He replied sighing a little, "I'm sorry we didn't do this sooner, a lot of stuff-"
"came up, I understand. It's fine, don't worry about it," I understood why, but it didn't stop me from worrying about the fact that I thought he hated me.
"Thanks for understanding,"
"You're welcome,"
We headed off to the coffee shop on my bike, it certainly made this better than I thought it would be and my nerves slowly melted away. Things didn't seem so scary, this date didn't go as awfully bad as I worried it would be. I showed him several pictures of my cat as the date started.
"I got him last year, I think. When I did get him, the previous owner said a lot of the people living near him tried to hurt the cat because they immediately go "Black cat, kill it,"
"What's his name?"
"Mr Midnight, he only answers to that and ignores you if you try getting his attention any other way."
I heard him laugh at that, I smirked a little saying "I know I should have said this a while ago. I made those artworks at the auction, which I also organised mostly and as much as I wanted to tell you at the time, I didn't think you'd want to hear it,"
I felt relieved, "That's what got you nervous a little while ago?"
"Yeah, mostly that and among other things. But yeah mostly just that,"
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iviarellereads · 4 months
Text
The Eye of the World, Chapter 29 - Eyes Without Pity
(THIS PROJECT IS SPOILER FREE! No spoilers past the chapter you click on. Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For the link index and a primer on The Wheel of Time, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)
(Wolf icon) In which we get another dash of Arthuriana.
Elyas starts taking a "leave no trace" philosophy to their travel, even digging a plug out of the ground to build their fire in, then putting the plug of dirt back down to hide the coals when they leave. He's also leading them in a winding path around the hills instead of over them, and snapping at them as if it's their idea in the first place.(1)
Eventually, Elyas starts climbing ridges to scout ahead. Perrin asks to go with him on one of these, and as he's about to stand, some ravens ahead of them burst from the trees, a whole flock. They're not what Elyas was looking for, he didn't know what to look for, but they're enough to worry about now. He knows a place they can find safety, if they get there before dark, but they'll have to rush. On the way, they scout again, and see the ravens peck a fox to death. They find more dead animals as they make their way. All the Dark One's creatures revel in death, for it's His power.
The wolves catch up to them, killing and scaring off some ravens behind them. He looks at Elyas, who waits patiently for Perrin to admit that he felt the wolves, shared in their sensations of killing the ravens. Perrin does so, and Egwene stares at him, frightened.(2) But there's no time for coming to terms with it, they press on.
Just as Perrin's about to give up hope, he notices there are no more ravens ahead of them, and then he passes through some invisible boundary that makes him feel cold. Egwene comments on it, too, and Elyas cackles. They've made it to safety! No Trolloc will cross the line without a Myrddraal forcing it to, and even they'd need a mighty force pushing them in. Aes Sedai don't like this place either, it cuts them off from the Source, makes them uncomfortable not to be able to feel it. Perrin feels a tickle at a memory of a legend.
“What is it?” Egwene asked. “I feel. . . . What is this place? I don’t think I like it.”(3) “A stedding,” Elyas roared. “You never listen to stories? Of course, there hasn’t been an Ogier here in three thousand odd years, not since the Breaking of the World, but it’s the stedding makes the Ogier, not the Ogier make the stedding.”(4) “Just a legend,” Perrin stammered. In the stories, the stedding were always havens, places to hide, whether it was from Aes Sedai or from creatures of the Father of Lies.
The ravens can't follow, but they'll still see them if they stay too close to the border of the stedding. They go another mile into it, and find a pool of clear water. They cheerfully prepare their bread and cheese, they never had a chance to hunt today, but the mood turns somber as it gets dark. Perrin thinks about how, at one point, he was ready to kill Egwene rather than let the ravens torture her to death.(5)
Egwene notices that a nearby rock looks like a carved eye, and Elyas tells them this was a statue of Artur Hawkwing.
“Artur Paendrag Tanreall, Artur Hawkwing, the High King, united all the lands from the Great Blight to the Sea of Storms, from the Aryth Ocean to the Aiel Waste, and even some beyond the Waste. He even sent armies the other side of the Aryth Ocean. The stories say he ruled the whole world, but what he really did rule was enough for any man outside of a story. And he brought peace and justice to the land […] but he did it with fire and sword."
Artur Hawkwing laid siege to Tar Valon, and offered a bounty price of a thousand gold crowns for any Aes Sedai head. But he was a fool. When he fell ill, or was poisoned, any one of the living Aes Sedai could have saved him, but he was stubborn in his siege until the end of his life.
Egwene asks what this has to do with the statue, and Elyas says this is where Hawkwing wanted to build his capital city, not connected with any existing city or country, and in a stedding, where Aes Sedai wouldn't dare tread without good reason. The common people, who loved him, raised a monument to him, a statue a hundred times his size.
The city would have been built around it, if the very day it was raised, Hawkwing hadn't died, and his children fought for who would sit on his throne. Some of his kin fled across the Aryth Ocean, it's said, but that just left a power vacuum. It caused a hundred-year war, really 123 years, and at some point therein the statue got pulled down.
Knowing all that, Perrin wishes they were sleeping anywhere else.
=====
(1) "How dare you be such good sweet youths and make me feel protective of you? How dare the world have kind people and be such a scary place to them when I'm such a grump?" (2) My little lady, you've been traveling with these two and the wolf pack for a week or more. Why are you still scared? (3) Of course she wouldn't like it. She's so new to channeling, but she knows enough to feel the loss of it like any Aes Sedai. (4) What do you think a stedding is, to cut off the One Power like that? What exactly is an Ogier? Why are they related? (5) I hope nobody was under the impression that these were like, light and cheerful books. There's joy, but RJ was a Vietnam veteran, and didn't shy away from dark thoughts and topics.
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minimoefoe · 4 months
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thoughts while/after reading a court of mist and fury for the first time
split into four sections - things I noted down before I started reading, thoughts I wrote down in the midst of reading, thoughts from after i'd finished read and then thoughts after watching a recap vid
before reading
was on tiktok and a pic came up on my fyp of some girl looking all faerie-like and the text said something like 'we want complex characters' 'you can't even handle her' and I was like whatever but then as I was scrolling away I saw the name nesta in the caption so now I'm like oh this coupled with another thing I saw makes me think her and elain are defo gonna become faeries at some point
while reading
I initially did this by chapter but I couldn't be bothered to keep pausing to write stuff so I split it into parts instead. maybe for the next book I should also write the page I'm on when I'm thinking something so it's easier to look back at idk
italics is stuff I've added after finishing the book
part one
so has she not heard from rhysand bc he's been captured or something
tamlin not acknowledging when feyre is up being sick is kinda nasty like bro she died for you, you could at least hold her hair back fuckin hell (the fact that rhys ends up holding her hair back.. dhmu)
feyre doesn't seem happy at all 😭😭
I actually love that feyre is fucked up by everything that happened I feel like sometimes characters just breeze through things and move on but she is just all round having an awful time
no high ladies? okay sexism
lucien's a what? am I supposed to know bc I literally don't 😭 (I still have no idea so.. idk)
rhysand appearing bc feyre is stressed as hell and doesn't wanna get married I'm crying, he obvs did that on purpose to save her
oh I already know the chapters where feyre is with rhysand are gonna be my faves over the stuff back with tamlin and co (the way it ended being basically the whole book omg I won so hard)
feyre is so real getting pissed off with the payment stuff like just reading that shit wound me up. giving away ur jewellery was maybe not a good idea tho idk. best to really have it out with tamlin later and try to fix it idrk (nvm, doing that saved her ass so)
love how often lucien is just third wheeling and makes 'here we go' type comments when mild drama starts happening he's so funny
the 'this how it's done' argument is dumb as fuck don't piss me off tamlin
locking feyre up oh tamlin you smell so bad I kinda hate you
tamlin actually is doing my nut in like you're 400 years old grow up and have a conversation. having feyre hidden away and never telling her anything is an insane way to try and go about things I hope she leaves ur ass. I get that he’s struggling as well but fuckin hell how embarrassing
part two
rhysand soooo cares for feyre like being worried about not feeling anything through the connection, waiting there while she sleeps, desperate for her to banter with him. he's so interesting I love him. leave tamlin for rhys feyre I know you want to
feyre literally being like yeah I wanna stay with you fuck the spring court is craazy like I'm winning so hard
aw sad back stories
odds on nesta and cassian dating
so like.. feyre is fr done with tamlin huh like for a while I was thinking maybe they'd reuinute at some point or she would spend some time being like idk what to do but nah she's done. love that
the flirting with rhys is getting so much more direct like okayyy
azriel ur vibes intrigue me, I am growing very fond of you
amren kinda freaks me out. I like her but also I'm worried she will turn evil or something
cassien is giving emmett cullen but more serious I can't explain it
the only thing I miss about the spring court is lucien
I like the summer high lord
when are they gonna kiss this is KILLING ME
the fact feyre is thinking about painting again oh she's getting better fr
I take back my worries about amren, l love her vibes
we love a feminist king (I think I was talking about him wanting the girls to be able to train lmao)
we've gone so long without seeing or hearing from tamlin/the spring court that I'm like okay surely they need to see each other again and give us some drama, feyre just being able to leave and that's that feels too simple. tho I guess they got the letter and were like okay not much that can be done?? I was kiinda wondering if they wouldn't believe it was from her bc I wasn't sure if they knew she could write but maybe I'm being dumb (no tamlin is the dumb one, not that I was right but like..)
lucien appearing literally at the end of next chapter lmao I willed it into happening
I was so disappointed when they had to share a room earlier in the book and rhys made a bed appear so they didnt have to share.. they made up for it fr
why didn't feyre feel the mating bond or whatever? bc she isn't familiar with it? bc she's been distracted?
can't decide if she's being too pissed about him not telling her idk like tbh I get why he didn't tell her and for a while it defo wasn't the time. but also I get that being lied to and shut out was a problem she had at the spring court so that kinda thing pisses her off
okay nvm she moved on quick and understood him a bit, I'm glad
I actually hadn't even thought about rhysand and feyre being mates or having mates liike the only time I really thought about mates was the fact tamlin and feyre weren't mates but they were gonna get married so I was like huh what does that mean. but this makes a lot of sense. kinda obsessed
interesting that rhys had vibes she was his mate when she human. is that normal? did he only get those hints bc it was like, fated that she would become a faerie, like have faeries and humans ever been mates????
part three
tamlin you sad evil embarrassing little man !!!!!!
knew her sisters would become faeries
elain being lucien's mate wait that's kinda cute omg they so fit together. I wonder if nesta is cassian's
also like, if elain had never become a faerie would lucien have never found his mate? would he have mated with someone else? would he have still been elain's even tho she was human? can you have more than one mate in your lifetime? I need answers
need lucien to see sense and turn on tamlin idk he seems to know this is insane. liike book 3 give me more lucien I'm BEGGING this is how I win omg
after reading
literally loved it so much
it's kinda wild how I thought the spring court seemed like such a nice place in the first book but now that we've seen all these other places with rhys I'm like omfg how BORING is the spring court fuck that, I'd wanna get out of there too
I love literally everyone that we're supposed to love. feyre, rhys and his whole gang. they're all so interesting
I was missing lucien a little bit and he's the main reason I'm cool with us being back at the spring court
I'm hoping lucien is gonna confront feyre fairly early in book three and she's gonna convince him to stop doing as tamlin says and see sense for like, the greater good but also I'm sure elain being his mate will sway him too
I kiiiinda would love if tamlin lost his mind and went full villain. not that he hasn't lost his mind already but yknow. rn he just feels kinda pathetic and stupid, I want evil vibes idk
I looooooved feyre and rhys' relationship and I loved all the revelations about the bond and stuff. I was simultaneously dying for them to finally get together but also was so obsessed with their vibe and the build to it that I almost didn't want them to finally be together. it was all so good tho like UGH I love them. I think knowing some of that stuff is gonna make book one even more interesting on a reread as well
I'm kinda glad they're apart again ngl bc we all know ships gets boring once they get together and the build up is the best bit so some time apart and a lot of drama will be fun I think
need cassian and nesta to get together. need azriel and mor to get together
there's no gay ppl in these books and I'm wondering how the mating bond situation would work with gay ppl. don’t tell me gay faeries don’t exist omg or what if gay faeries never have mates 😭
I feel like there's no way everyone is gonna survive whatever happens in the next book and like honestly as long as its not feyre rhys or lucien, I'll be sad but it'll be fine. if I had to bet on a death I’d probably say azriel, cassian or mor
azriel > cassian > amren > mor. maybe? idk I love them all
after watching cari can read’s catch up video
I’ve been watching a vid after each book literally bc I wanna sure I had the plot at least mostly understood and also bc I’m very limited to what I can search up to do with these books atm since I don’t wanna spoiled so recap vids are a nice little treat lmao. they do sometimes hint at spoilers tho (like the vid of the first book where she said she couldn’t find fanart of the sisters that wasn’t spoilers so i was like oh they’re probs gonna become faeries) but it’s a risk I’m willing to take
there was a lot of moments where feyre had to say to rhys like hey stop keeping things from me, I didn’t realise it happened so much. and part of me is like hm is that a bit strange like surely after the spring court, him constantly doing that would really get to her but as far as I can remember she gets over it all idfk
the music thing in the first book was so strange to me I was like omg feyre has lost it, so it being explained in this book was cool. I feel like you can tell these books were actually planned out before being published
I’m still not 100% clear on the jurian, miryam etc story like I kinda get it but there’s a lot of names idfk. hopefully I get it enough to understand the next book, or it’s explained recapped in the next book
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orangeboulevard · 5 months
Text
In the process of writing a Winx AU/rewrite where Bloom is actually a guy because why not? Anywhoo, feel free to leave some ideas or critiques in the comments! I'm always open to feedback.
Title: 𝘼𝙡𝙞𝙨 𝙑𝙤𝙡𝙖𝙩 𝙋𝙧𝙤𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙞𝙨 (Winx Genderbend AU)
Blurb: "There are no male fairies. Magical scholars state it so. Magical scholars also state that all descendants of the monarchy of Domino have been eradicated. The scholars are wrong on both measures."
(potential) Pairings: Bloom/Stella, Bloom/Sky
Current Chapters: 7/?
Here's the link to my AO3 and below is chapter one, I hope you enjoy reading!
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Chapter One: A Strange Summer Afternoon
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
"Benjamin Darren Peters, you are late for school!" The shrill exclamation of his mother reverberated throughout his room. 
The teenager darted up from his bed, became tangled in his sheets and fell to the ground with a thump- a myriad of expletives left his mouth. He hastily performed his morning routine, his fiery red hair was dripping wet as he scrambled out of the bathroom. His eyes swept over a bundle of clothes on his floor- he pulled on the cleanest-smelling t-shirt and his baggy jeans.
He fastened his studded belt as he hurried past his mother in the hallway, "Mom, my alarm didn't go off! I swear I wasn't trying- wait..." 
When allowing himself to think, Ben recalled that school was officially out for the summer. "Mom!" he groaned, running a hand through his messy hair, "that's not funny." 
"Benjamin, it's two in the afternoon, you needed to get up," his mother tutted, her lips then forming a cheeky smile, "and it was funny." 
"You're a bully." 
"And you're a scruff," She straightened his shirt and fixed his hair, she looked behind him, "And clean your room, it's like a crime scene." 
"Yeah, yeah..." Ben sighed and followed his mother downstairs into the kitchen, where his father was sitting. 
"Oh, sleeping beauty is up," his father laughed over his newspaper.
"Ha ha, very funny," the teenager sarcastically replied as he sat down.
"Oh, and Benjamin, I want you to help your mother in the shop starting next week since you're doing nothing." 
Ben withheld a groan and simply nodded, he looked sadly into his bowl of cereal.
"Don't pout, love," his mother stroked his cheek, "You should take Kiko for a walk, that rabbit is getting increasingly agitated at being couped up all day." 
Ben turned his head to see the little bunny glaring ferociously at him, "Jesus- okay, yeah. Testy little rodent." 
Kiko launched himself at him.
"OW!" 
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
His father and mother followed him outside the small house, informing him that they'd gotten him a gift. Ben grinned and excitedly hustled outside, though his excitement fizzled out upon seeing the simple bicycle.
"So, what do you think?" his father asked with a bright grin.
Ben didn't have the heart to shatter his old man's happy mood, instead, the boy smiled and hugged his parents, "It's great, thank you." 
"See, Vanessa! He's fine." 
"Only because he doesn't want to upset you, go on, love, we'll see you later."
Ben seated Kiko inside the attached compartment and rode away, evading traffic and pedestrians. Stopping at a junction, he idly gazed at the surroundings- unfortunately, he made eye contact with Martin. 
"Hey, Benny! Nice wheels," the dark-haired boy remarked snidely, "Could you be any more of a loser?" 
"Maybe, if I drew inspiration from you," he whispered.
"What was that?" 
"Just how kind you are, you truly are a gift to society," Ben stated with absolutely no sincerity, he dodged the can that was hurled at him, waved goodbye and crossed the intersection. 
In a short time, Ben reached the local park. He propped his bike against a tree and snacked on an apple as Kiko played in the surrounding grass and flowers. Not even two minutes later, the bunny came running back, screaming. 
"What the- Kiko, are you hurt?" Ben scooped him up and held the shaking animal to his chest.
Deciding against his better judgment, Ben curiously wandered forward: looking for the cause of Kiko's distress. What he did not expect to find was a winged woman swinging a staff at... What even were those? Ben couldn't restrain the gasp that left him. The strange bug-like amalgamations were attacking the woman. 
Had he stumbled upon a recording for a TV show or film? He couldn't see any filming equipment or teams. 
"Solar Wind!" the woman -he could now tell was about his age- shrieked and slammed her staff onto the ground. A sizeable bright force knocked the creatures away.
... Was he high? He had to be because there was no logical explanation for what he was witnessing. 
A darker figure emerged from the shadows, it towered over the (wizard? Witch? Unicorn?) girl. Ben knew it couldn't be human. It was wrong, its skin, its features, its build; everything about it sent alarm bells ringing in Ben's mind.
It roared and backhanded the girl, she crashed into the ground with a pained yelp. 
Ben placed Kiko down.
"Ghoulies, hold her!" Surprisingly, the beast spoke English.  
The (mechanical?) critters restrained the girl. Before the beast could grab her discarded staff, however, a heavy branch was broken over it's head.
It turned around to see Ben, who held the other end of the branch.
"Hi." 
It growled. Ben took several steps back, tripped over his jeans and fell. It ran forward with impressive speed. Ben could hear his rapid heartbeat in his ears. He lifted his hand, attempting pitifully to stop what was about to come. 
A surge escaped from his hand. The beast collapsed backwards, and wailed, clutching a burn mark. Some of the critters had scuttled forward, crawling up his body and clawing at him. 
With a terrified exclamation from Ben, they disintegrated.
"Wow! Powerful!" a cheery voice commented, Ben looked up to see the girl beaming down at him. He squinted, he was sure that she was actually glowing. 
She readied her staff upon the remaining monsters; evaporating a few of the critters and further injuring the beast. One of the weird bugs bit at Ben's leg, he tried to shake it off and eventually it ran- not without tearing his favourite jeans.
"We'll meet again, blondie." 
With a flash, the monsters were gone.
"Thank the Gods, they're gone at last," the girl sighed, she tried to walk over to Ben but, midstep, she seemed to be overtaken by exhaustion. Ben caught her and gently placed the blonde girl on the ground. Her wings had disappeared, a crown formed upon her head and her (admittedly stunning) outfit had transformed into a longer formal robe.
"Uh... Hello? Hey, you okay?" Ben glanced at Kiko, who was sitting anxiously at the girl's side, "What should I do? I can't take her to a hospital if she is... Whatever she is. They would most likely send her to a psychiatric ward." 
Kiko just stared at him. 
"Mom and Dad will know what to do."
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babymetaldoll · 3 years
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"The Sean Hotchner effect" (Spencer Reid / Reader)
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My gif 😉
Requested: Yes
Summary: Spencer is jealous 'cos reader (and the rest of the female team) thinks Hotchner's younger brother is hot.
Warnings: Cursing
Category: Fluff
Word count: 4,5K
A/N: I can' believe I actually wrote a fic! I've been so busy taking care of my grandparents I've just been updating DIWK, 'cos those chapters were long written and edited. Hope you all enjoy this little story, I'll bring you a more next week, hopefully! send you all my love!! be safe babes!
Masterlist
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Working at the BAU, the team was used to seeing the worst of human behavior. Murder scenes, abuse, psychopath, you name it.
That's why seeing the apparition that walked into the bullpen that morning was such a big shock for us, the team's females.
- "What are you doing out of your bunker?"- Elle asked Penelope, who was standing next to my desk. I whipped my head, surprised to see Garcia there, out of the blue, not even looking at us. Instead, her eyes were fixated on someone who wasn't Derek.
- "I was on my way to file the things that I... file?"- Garcia made a pause as Elle and I slowly turned and looked at the guy our tech analyst couldn't stop staring at.
He was gorgeous. Tall, blonde, perfect smile. The kind of guy that could definitely get every girl's attention. We didn't get many of those at the BAU that often, except, of course, for Dr. Spencer Reid. My best friend was hands down the hottest agent in the whole FBI, and I enjoyed having him near. But this guy was completely different.
- "Who is that?"- Elle asked and stood by our side.
- "The Future Mr. Garcia,"- Penelope whispered as the tall young man walked over us and cut us one flirtatious smile. I couldn't help it and returned the smile.
- "Hi"- I smiled and waved- "How can I help you?"
- "Hey. I'm..."
- "Sean!"- Derek Worst time ever Morgan ruined the whole moment as he walked over and took that hot guy away from us. Now at least we knew his name was Sean.
- "You must be looking for your brother."- Morgan said and tapped on his back.
- "Yeah."
- "Right this way"- and that's how that apparition was gone from our lives and directed straight to... Aaron Hotchner's office?
- "Brother as in?"- Elle asked and turned to us, confused- "That's Hotch's brother?!"
- "Maybe Hotch is adopted,"- Garcia whispered, not taking her eyes from Sean until he disappeared behind the door.
- "I feel scammed. We didn't get the hot brother"- I sighed and shook my head- "Well, I might have never solved a case with that smile around the bullpen"- Elle and Penelope giggled, but someone coughed behind my back, and immediately, I knew who he was.
- "Who are you guys talking about?"
Spence Walter Reid was standing right behind my back, and the look in his eyes wasn't as sweet and friendly as I was already used to. He was upset. I just didn't know why.
- "No one"- I lied and looked away.
- "Who were you all staring at?"- Reid asked. I quickly returned to my desk (right in front of his), grabbed a few files, and pretended to be working.
- "Aaron's brother"- Elle explained- "Apparently, we got the wrong Hotchner."
- "Sean?"- Spencer frowned and looked at us- "He just got into Georgetown law school. Maybe he came to pick up his brother to celebrate."
- "Who is gonna celebrate?"- JJ walked over, holding a bunch of folders, and looked at us.
- "Hotch and my future husband"- Garcia sighed and kept looking over at Aaron's door.
- "Sean, Hotch's brother is here, and believe me, he looks nothing like his brother."
Elle smiled and moved a chair across from her desk to make sure she had the best seat in the room to see Sean when he walked out. I shook my head as Elle winked at me.
- "Stop pretending you didn't see him, (Y/N). You were the one who talked to him."
I swear, I could feel Spencer's eyes on me, burning my skin. I slowly turned around and looked at him with a small, innocent smile. But all I got in return was a stern look.
- "I just... wanted to... help him"- I tried to excuse myself, but Elle laughed, and Garcia followed.
- "Sure, babe. He looked like he was hopelessly lost in the BAU. He needed your help to find his brother."- I don't know why Elle was acting like that, but she made sure Spencer would be even more upset than he already was.
- "Stop it! I just asked if he needed any help."
- "Oh! and you would have given him a hand with anything he needed, wouldn't you?"- Elle chuckled and winked again.
- "Oh sweet Jesus, I would. All he has to do is ask, and he..."- Penelope got carried away in second, and she only paused her words when Hotch's door slammed open, and we all looked at Sean storming out of the office.
- "That's Hotch's brother?"- JJ asked, surprised. Elle nodded and literally bit her lips as she stared at him, walking over. Penelope barely even blinked, and I made my best not to make eye contact with him. Instead, I looked at Reid. And he locked eyes in mine, but again, his look was cold.
- "I don't see it"- JJ stared at Sean as he clearly argued with Hotch. I stayed still, sitting behind my desk, looking at the files.
- "You know what?! Don't profile me, Aaron!"- Sean yelled, and I could only imagine Penelope's crush growing bigger with each word that came from his mouth.
- "Now I see it!"- JJ followed Sean with her eyes as he rushed out of the BAU.
- "I hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you walk away."- Penelope whispered, and we all giggled.
- "Do you think Hotch is hiding that ass?"- Elle asked, and I couldn't hold the laughter.
- "I didn't want to think of that!"
- "Oh please!! (Y/N) stop being such a goodie-goodie!!"- Elle smacked my arm and shook her head- "You stared at his ass. Deal with it. You are single! You don't have to pretend you don't see a hot guy when you see one."
- "I saw him. He was cute. I'm just... not... that... affected...."
- "You don't have to pretend,"- Spencer said suddenly and raised an eyebrow- "Your body language indicates that you are nervous. You are blinking rapidly, our pupils are dilated, and you've been bouncing your knees since you sat down. Obviously, Hotch's brother affected you."
I opened my mouth to answer, but Hotch himself interrupted us and announced we had a case. Spencer just kept his eyes on mine for a few more seconds before walking away quickly to the conference room.
- "Looks like pretty boy is jealous,"- Elle teased and stood up too- "I don't know why if he ain't your boyfriend."
- "I know he ain't my boyfriend, and I'm sure he is not jealous. You are all just acting like school girls around a hot guy."- I tried to argue as I stood up and followed them to the conference room.
- "Oh honey, when you see a guy like that, you just can't help it."- Garcia smiled and sighed- "He was the sugar that got me going for the rest of the day."
- "It's only nine am."- JJ added, and Garcia just sighed.
- "That's how good it was."
The case was in Terra Mesa, New Mexico. A clearly angry Hotch announced wheels up in thirty, and we all headed back to our desk to gather our things.
- "Hey, I brought you back your copy of The Illustrated Man"- I walked to Spencer and handed him over his book- "Maybe after the case, we can get a coffee and talk about it."
- "Maybe not"- he grabbed it from my hands and put it on his satchel.
- "Why not?"
- "I don't feel like it."- Spencer avoided looking at me. He just closed his bag and walked away from me.
- "Hey! What did I do?"- I asked him and followed him, but he didn't even look at me.
- "Spencer, I'm talking to you!"
- "And as you can notice, I don't wanna talk to you."
His answer stopped me in my tracks and left me speechless. Spencer got into the elevator and pushed the button to close the door as fast as possible.
He had never acted like that with me. He had never talked to me like that. Shit! He had never been an asshole with me before. I had seen Reid being a jerk with people when he is mad, but he had never been like that with me. And all that just 'cos me, and the girls were a little unprofessional?
Apparently, Spencer was furious with me because during the whole investigation, he kept avoiding me. Of course, it didn't help that Hotch paired me with Reid and Morgan to talk to a young girl who had been abducted from the crime scene.
- "So, pretty girl, I saw you yesterday. Your eyes were shining when you talked to Sean"- Morgan started teasing me the second we got into the SUV.
- "I don't know what you are talking about."- I whispered and looked outside.
- "Oh please, you, Garcia, JJ, even Elle, the four girls were drooling over Hotchner's younger brother."
- "That's not true"- I denied right away- "We were all surprised. I had no idea Hotch had a brother."
And Spencer just snorted at my words.
- "What?"- I turned around and looked at him. He was sitting at the back seat, alone, arms crossed on his chest, avoiding eye contact.
- "Maybe you should stop talking about Hotch's hot brother and focus on the case."- his voice was cold and distant. I tried to read him, but all I could see was anger.
- "Ok, kid."- Morgan chuckled and shook his head - "No need to get all defensive."
- "I'm not defensive. I'm just saying we have to solve a case. People are dead, and you are still rambling about how hot Hotchner's brother is. We are not a fucking gossip show. Enough with it already."
I widened my eyes as I stared at him, bitter and angry. Not really a good combo. Spencer is one passive-aggressive asshole when he is mad, and you don't want to deal with him under those circumstances. Believe me.
But Derek just laughed and continued driving. He winked at me and pretended Spencer hadn't said anything hurtful or even evil. But, to be honest, Morgan looked composed and even amused. In fact, I'm pretty sure he was actually enjoying that awkward ride.
I wish I could tell you that was all Spencer did that day, but no. He actually exceeded himself in the art of being an asshole.
- "We are looking for a cult leader."- Reid started giving the profile to the police department- "Typically men between the age of 25 and 35"- he made a pause and looked at me.
- "What?"- I whispered, thinking maybe he wanted me to continue talking.
- "Nothing. I thought you were going to start giggling or sighing."- Elle and Morgan looked surprised as Gideon frowned, not getting Reid's comment.
- "Over a sociopath underachiever with an extremely abusive childhood?"- I asked him, as I continued describing the profile- "Why would I?"
- "I don't know."- he shrugged and continued walking around the office -"I thought after yesterday, it was going to be your usual behavior around men that age."
- "Reid"- Hotch's voice was cold and severe. Spencer looked at him and turned around to find an empty seat. Aaron continued giving the profile, and I turned to my best friend, enraged. I wasn't going to tolerate that passive-aggressive attitude.
- "Fuck you."- I mouthed and stared straight into his eyes.
Avoiding and ignoring Reid was a challenging task to achieve. Hotch was nice and wise enough to keep us apart for the rest of the day, but that didn't stop him from staring. And his eyes burned my skin each time we were together in the same room.
I made my best effort and avoided looking at him the whole time. But I felt him staring. And though I was honestly mad at him now, a part of me just wondered what on earth was he so upset about?
I found out the whole truth later that night, back at the hotel. I was already in bed, trying to forget about the case, 'cos it had already been solved, and we were supposed to go back home early the following day.
I was alone, 'cos my roommate Elle was in the hotel bar with JJ and Morgan. I didn't feel like going. I just wanted my pajamas and do nothing.
Fine, that's not what I wanted to do. I wanted to be with Reid, talking about The Illustrated man, or any other book, drinking coffee, making jokes, laughing.
But he was mad at me, and now I was mad at him too, which meant things weren't going to be smooth between us in a long while. We had only fought once before until that day. It happened when we first became friends, and we argued over some random Star Wars fact. He didn't admit he was wrong, and when I showed him I was right, he got all defensive and refused to talk to me for a whole week.
Of course, this time, it was going to be a hundred times worse.
I debated whether I should or shouldn't call Reid and yell at him when I heard someone knocking on my door. Of course, I thought it was Elle, so I dragged my weary body from the bed, arguing I had explicitly told her she had to bring her key when she left the room.
But no. It wasn't Elle. In the hall, looking like shit, I found Doctor Spencer Walter Reid.
It wasn't a good sign the way my heart skipped a beat the second I saw him. It didn't get any better when the two of us just stared at each other in silence for a moment, and I felt my whole body tremble only by his presence. I couldn't control it even if I wanted to. I loved him, and it was getting too hard to hide.
- "What are you doing here?"- I made sure my voice was as upset as possible and even made an extra effort to furrow my brows as I stared into his eyes. His look had softened, and you could tell he was nervous. He scratched his hair and fixed his nerdy glasses before speaking.
- "I needed... I wanted... I want to talk to you."- Spencer finally said and sighed, looking at me.
- "Why would I want to talk to you after you humiliated me in front of the whole police department?"
I spat each word and tried to slam the door on his face, but he stopped me before succeeding.
- "Wait, please, (Y/N)"- he pushed the door open and followed me inside the room.
- "Get out, Reid!"- I argued immediately, but he didn't listen. He actually closed the door behind his back and stood behind me. I refused to look at him, 'cos I knew what would happen if I did: I would forgive him too quickly.
- "(Y/N), I'm so sorry. I know I was an asshole. I didn't mean it. I was completely out of place."
Spencer literally vomited his speech in less than three seconds and stayed wordless and silent afterward. I crossed my arms on my chest and stayed still. I really didn't want to talk to him.
- "I'm sorry"- his voice was now a tiny whisper that somehow got inside my heart, melting the fortress I kept building against him.
- "Why did you do it?"- I asked the most straightforward question, but he didn't answer. Spencer stayed quiet for at least two minutes. So I turned around and faced him. His eyes were red, and he was fighting the tears back.
- "Why did you humiliate me, Spencer?"
- "I didn't mean to."
- "So? I don't care what you meant. You did it anyway. You fucking humiliated me in front of the team and in front of the whole police office, and why? 'Cos you were mad at me for being unprofessional? Excuse me, but I think what you did lacked more professionalism than anything I had ever done."
I knew it was a mistake. I knew I didn't have to look at Spencer while I spoke. But I couldn't stop myself. I didn't want to cry either, but I was already too upset and way too tired, so the tears started falling down my cheeks. And his followed quickly.
- "I'm so sorry,"- he repeated and bit his lips, staring at me.
- "Why did you do it, Spencer?"- I asked him again, 'cos I still didn't know why he had hurt me so deeply.
- "I was wrong..."
- "Why did you do it?"
I asked for the third time, and my eyes got lost in his. Spencer was holding his breath and debating himself. I could almost hear his thoughts, 'cos it was clear he was overthinking everything going on inside his head.
But he didn't say anything. Spencer just wiped off a few tears that rolled down his cheeks and shook his head. The silence in the room was overwhelming, and all I managed to do was to sigh, disappointed and broken-hearted, and walk to the door and open it. I only wanted him to leave, but he didn't even move. He just looked at me, clenching his jaw, fighting the tears back.
- "I did it because I am in love with you."
Spencer whispered in the most anticlimactic way possible. I frowned, confused, as he didn't even move. I stared at his gestures, his face blood-red in a weird mix of embarrassment and anger.
- "I love you so much it's driving me insane, (Y/N). I've been trying to tell you how I feel for weeks, but I just..."- he ran his hands through his hair, openly frustrated with his own way to deal with the situation, as I just stayed still, trying to understand what was going on.
- "I know it was stupid, and I wish I could do it differently, but I didn't know what to do. But then I saw you looking at Sean, and I knew you would never look at me the same way, 'cos I know I'm not..."
There was no bigger force in the universe than the one that moved my body unconsciously against Spencer. I grabbed his face with both hands and planted a kiss on his lips to shut him up. I didn't even think about what I was doing. I just did it 'cos I didn't want to listen to his rambling anymore. For once, probably for the very first time ever since we met, I wanted to shut Spencer Reid up. And the best way I could do that was kissing him until my lips felt numb.
I didn't even let him hesitate. He jumped as soon as I touched him, but he didn't reject me at all. Instead, he wide opened his eyes and stared at me as I winked at him, deepening the kiss.
Spencer's hands slowly found their way to my waist and held me closer to him. His lips were soft and warm, moving carefully along with mine, and as he relaxed into the kiss, the better it got.
I had wasted so much time (mostly at work, bored, avoiding paperwork) fantasizing about kissing Spencer. How his lips would feel and taste. If he would make any noise, if he'd be rough or soft... and now there I was, getting all the answers I ever needed.
My heartbeat faster when I opened my eyes and saw him, deep concentrated into the endless kiss. My hands played with his hair, and I felt him hum, pleased with my movements. I couldn't help myself and smiled, not stopping the kiss.
- "What?"- Spencer asked, but his lips didn't move from mine. Neither of us wanted to stop.
- "Nothing,"- I whispered and shook my head softly- "I just like kissing you."
- "I like kissing you too,"- he answered and moved his hands from my waist to my cheeks and held my face. His hands were so big I could feel him covering most of my cheek. He made me feel secure, safe. Loved. All that only from cupping my face.
- "I love you."- Spencer whispered and opened his eyes. I looked at him and sighed, trying to keep myself together, when all I really wanted was to yell and jump and act like a teenager in love.
- "Me too."
That was all I managed to answer, though I knew he deserved better. He deserved to know how much I loved him, how crazy I was over everything he did. Everything he was. But I couldn't tell him that, not at that minute at least. That night I couldn't really speak much because all I wanted to do was to kiss him. I wanted to kiss Spencer Reid until my lips burned.
But he didn't let me fulfill my dream. As soon as he heard me, he stopped the kiss and stayed very, very still.
- "What happened?"- I panicked, I don't know why- "Did I overstep..."
- "You love me?"- he interrupted me, and his eyes filled with tears. Happy tears. His smile was soft and warm as he stared at me, waiting for an answer.
- "I do,"- I murmured and blushed. Was it too late to blush? Maybe, but I couldn't help it. Not when he was looking at me like that. Like I was the most beautiful woman on earth. No. Like I was the only woman on earth for him.
- "I'm so sorry..."
But I really didn't want to listen to his apology. I had already forgiven him. All I wanted was to kiss him again. And again.
I crushed my lips against his, and this time, I felt him smiling into the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he locked his around my waist. We were so close I could feel the warmth of his body as he relaxed a little more, and his fingers started caressing the small on my back.
- "Come here."
I took a few steps back, and he followed, keeping as close to me as possible. Finally, I dragged him to my bed, and he laid by my side. Our legs were intertwined as we melted on that mattress, just kissing.
I honestly never imagined I would kiss Spencer. Maybe that's why I enjoyed it and tasted him (and the moment) in slow motion. He sighed and smiled as his lips and tongue played with mine. One of his hands held my waist as the other played with my hair.
It was heaven. I didn't imagine anything better than being on that bed kissing Spencer Reid. He whispered he loved me again, and I sighed. For a second, it felt I was in a dream.
- "Ok, mama, get out of that.... WHOO!"- Derek, JJ, and Elle stormed into the door and caught Spencer and I kissing on the bed. I felt like a teenager all over again.
- "What the..."- Elle asked was holding the key in her hands, eyes wide opened, in shock.
- "My man!"- Morgan was about to start clapping when JJ grabbed him and Elle's arm.
- "The guys need some privacy. Come on, let's go. You can sleep in my room, Elle"- JJ smiled and closed the door behind her back, but less than a second later, Derek walked in again.
- "Smile to Garcia!"- Derek waved, holding his phone. Spencer closed his eyes and covered his face, embarrassed as I grabbed a pillow and threw it over him.
- "Get the fuck out of my room!"- I shouted, and JJ had to pull Morgan's sleeve to get him out of there. Once the door was closed (again), we waited a few seconds in case Derek tried to interrupt us one more time. But he didn't. Spencer's cheeks were burning red, and he looked so embarrassed it was too sweet. So I leaned over him and kissed the tip of his nose.
- "Hi,"- I whispered and smiled. Reid chuckled and moved closer to me, reaching my lips.
- "Hi."- I sighed, strangely relieved to feel his lips on mine again. I was like my body had already gotten used to kissing him and wanted to do nothing else from that moment on.
- "Hi,"- I repeated and smiled.
- "Hi,"- Reid said again and wrapped his arms around me, moving me until I was sitting on his lap. Life was perfect.
- "I'm so glad Hotch's brother came to visit. He should come more often,"- I murmured and giggled. Spencer frowned and shook his head.
- "I think we are good."- he answered and narrowed his eyes.
- "If he hadn't come, you wouldn't have gotten so jealous, and we wouldn't be kissing right now."- I added, and rubbed his lips with mines, just to make a point. Spencer smiled and fully kissed me.
- "I will send him a muffin basket to George town, then."
- "That's very thoughtful. I love that about you."
- "I love everything about you,"- Spencer whispered and sighed, staring into my eyes.
- "Does this mean we are dating?"- I had to ask. Spencer wide opened his eyes and didn't move for a few seconds -"I'm just asking 'cos you said you loved m and I love you, and if you love and I love you, I'm pretty sure dating would the logical thing to do. But if you don't want to, I would totally understand. I mean, maybe I am assuming..."- Spencer's lips against mine ended with my senseless rambling, and he chuckled into the kiss.
- "What?"- I asked him but didn't move my lips from his. Already that might have become my favorite way to talk to him.
- "You are adorable when you ramble."
- "Shut up"- and Spencer smiled
- "Would you be my girlfriend?"- he simply asked and rested his forehead against mine as he stared at me. I smiled and sighed, pretending to be considering my options. I didn't have any. I wanted to be his.
- "Yes,"- I whispered and kissed him one more time- "I would love to, just promise me you will never be a passive-aggressive jerk with me."
- "Never"- Spencer kissed me, and his hands held me tighter- "I'm so sorry."
- "Just kiss me a few more times so I can properly forgive you"- Reid smiled and crushed his lips against mines.
- "Anything for you."
**
Spencer taglist
@calm-and-doctor
General Taglist
@spenxerslut @ash19871962 @all-tings-diego
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