#TAILGATE AND CYCLONUS MY BELOVEDS | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heavenpierceher · 1 year

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oh we submitting requests for ask memes now? ....tailpipe lmao

thank you for doing this so i did not have to send myself an ask as three psilocyns in a trenchcoat. original here

1. What is the character’s go-to drink order?

he orders a) whatever “special” there is, if there’s a drink of the day he gets that, b) “you pick”/“something you think i’d like” (annoying but endearing), or c) the cybertronian equivalent of whatever’s the sweetest and fruitiest. he never gets the same thing twice, except when he does multiple times in a row because sometimes the familiarity is comforting. swerve knows he’s feeling down when he gets the same few orders in a row from him

2. What is their grooming routine?

initially he pays a lot of attention to looking cool and important therefore buffing the ever loving shit out of his frame while strategically leaving alone cool looking scratches. post-RiL he doesn’t have much of a reason to do that anymore so he’s just Normal but he also likes, like. i think he’d enjoy braiding holoform whirl’s hair for her

3. What was their most expensive purchase/where does their disposable income go?

he LOOOOOVES trinkets. LOVES them. he gets a souvenir for every planet they stop on. doesn’t collect anything in particular, just has an eye for kitschy little desk toys and stuff to put on the walls

4. Do they have any scars or tattoos?

no engravings (he’s skittish) but he could probably be very easily talked into getting one. obviously physical scars aren’t much of an entity in canon since they can Just Go Get A New One but i do think he’s got some residual weakness in his legs from having them crushed+cybercrosis and prefers to use his alt mode to travel short distances

5. What was the last time they cried, and under what circumstances?

yesterday. he accidentally stepped on someone’s foot and got scared. poor guy

6. Are they an oldest, middle, youngest or only child?

again, not applicable, but i think he has, like, “second youngest of 6 kids” energy

7. Describe the shoes they’re wearing.

human au—cheap workboots, but he’d rather be wearing cool, fashionable chunky sneakers. maybe air maxes. he thinks the little window is cool

8. Describe the place where they sleep.

more closely resembles a nest. he’s fucking comfortmaxxing. sleepy and nappilled. genuinely a little difficult to see him under all the pillows

9. What is their favorite holiday?

all of them! he’ll take any excuse to celebrate something. he actually likes holidays he doesn’t celebrate but his friends do the most, and also holidays he can use to tell stories

10. What objects do they always carry around with them?

see, he’d like to be the friend who always has hand sanitizer and scissors, but he’s not quite that organized, so at any given time you’d get like… one of his trinkets, wrench given to him by someone and never used “in case he needs it”, snacks (he can always be counted on to have snacks at least), small weapon (mostly to aid in bragging), and a datapad with notes on literally everything, half diary and half encyclopedia. you are not allowed to read it but he’ll read parts of it to you if you want

#maccadam #tailgate mtmte #mtmte #tf #tg #op #ask #whitephobic-cyclonus #My Fucking Beloved.#My Little Booboo Bear.#THANK YOUUUU for indulging me

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i-starcreamed · 1 year

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Ok so it is implied in my mind that any human on the lost light would be zippin around on roller skates. And when on roller skates you can theoretically hold onto the back of a vehicle to ZOOM ( = skitching = skate + hitching.) So THE QUESTION IS silly little headcanons for a human reader skitching w Rodimus / Tailgate / Swerve my beloved / anyone w a vehicular alt mode? Idk I just thought that would be fun :3

new uh, format I think. hopefully, this works. anyways this was really fun and they're a little short bc I struggled writing something different for each one, but I'm very happy with it

[ human!reader

post includes: Rodimus, Tailgate, and Swerve]

MTMTE Rodimus

oh you're gonna have to hang on real tight

when you said zoom, that's exactly what this guy is gonna do

tries to get you to do tricks as you're skitching, did not go well the first time (he skid to a stop you crashed face-first into him)

after that he was a lot more careful and gave you a heads up

He still tries to get you to do tricks though, you both impress the rest of the crew quite often

It quickly became this favorite thing to do after the first time, constantly coming up to you and transforming with a "need a ride?" and happily agreeing when you're the one to ask him.

Probably gets a little jealous when you ask someone that isn't him

Expect a lot of close calls but he would never get you hurt on purpose, Ultra Magnus begs you to wear some kind of protective gear

MTMTE Tailgate

Originally hesitant when you asked him, are you sure you want to go with him? What if you get hurt, he'll never forgive himself??

After plenty of reassurance though, he agreed and found it quite fun

Laughing and giggling as you two travel along the halls together, very cute 10/10

Cue Cyclonus watching you two with intrigue, zooming away with wide smiles on your faces, he too tries to hide a small smile at the scene

something tells me he drives in little circles to be silly

If you get hurt somehow he starts panicking and accidentally transforms back to pick you up and ask if you're okay. The only problem is that he forgets you were still attached and you go shooting up into the air

very normal and civilized skitching buddy but will zoom through the LL if you ask him to

MTMTE Swerve

He desperately wishes you could deliver drinks with him around his bar while skitching, how cool would it be if you two just drove around and handed bots their drinks one after the other?

So excited though, also has a lot of fun as you join him and cruise with him around the ship

He for sure convinces you to be silly around the ship, messing with Magnus or other bots and just as quickly leaving the room unnoticed

I think he also accidentally transforms while you're still holding onto him. You're like, screaming as you hold onto him for dear life and he keeps turning around in circles trying to find you (you swinging around and begging for him to stop moving)

Despite all the silly shenanigans, he still obviously goes out of his way to make sure you're safe and comfortable.

Probably tells you about the latest drama or stories as you're cruising around to keep you entertained, also because Swerve tells you everything

#mtmte rodimus #mtmte swerve #mtmte tailgate #mtmte #mtmte x reader #human reader #headcanons #transformers #lost light #lost light x reader #rodimus x reader #swerve x reader #tailgate x reader #maccadam #transformers x reader #macadam

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kuroyinu · 7 days

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Happy Pride to Cygate fans 🤍💙💜

Cyclonus: Tailgate, my beloved, my little one. I want to hold him and observe the stars together. And then embrace him and m-maybe, maybe even k-k-kiss?..

Tailgate: Mh-h I want to ********* with Cyclonus so much. He is so cute, I bet he will be even cuter when I play with his ***** and *****. And then he will **** me and then we will cuddle and kiss until recharge.

and without text

#cygate #cyclonus #tailgate #mtmte #transformers #maccadam #valveplug #suggestive

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mychlapci · 1 month

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cybertronian weight gain means everything to meeeeeeee

i want cybertronians to be malnourish before and during the war and then once it's all over they go back home and finally so many mecha are able to get enough fuel in them.

i love it when weight gain is a sign of health and taking care of one's self. it's literally one of my favourite tropes of all time. literally nothing sexier than a character learning to feed themselves properly and their bodies finally at a good weight where it shows

i think blurr and sunstreaker are the best candidates for this. speedsters were intentionally deprived of fuel before the war because it made them faster and so blurr gets ordered to refuel more because he's at a dangerously unhealthy weight for his frame class.

and sunstreaker always gave up his energon to help his brother out because he could handle not getting as much fuel and sideswipe came first of course! sunstreaker's armour having to be refitted by a medic and he has such shapely thighs and a nice ass and a little bit of pudge around his waistline and tummy.

hmmm swerve would a good cook i just know it. he makes so much food for his beloved racer and always makes sure that he's refuelled on time.

it also helps that rubbing his spike and valve across blurr's new tummy just feels so good.

hmm so many mechs have to get their armour refitted because all that extra energon goes right to the tits. ratchet having rodimus sucking on his boobs just because they don't fit behind his windshield anymore. drift just going around the lost light barechested because primus gave him tits he's gonna show em' off!

magnus and megatron's boobs are big and saggy but so so soft. i bet cyclonus has a nice rack and tailgate likes fondling his big wife's tits at all possible hours of the day and i'm sure cyclonus likes tailgate's little boobs as well.

-burnt ice anon

I firmly believe a lot of cybertronians gain a shit ton of weight after the war because now they're fueling properly and aren't under so much duress. A lot of the speedster frames that were already super underfueled before the war now drink as much energon as they actually should and there suddenly getting fatter...

I do think Blurr has some issues with losing his perfect figure, but he's honestly only become more attractive to everyone around him now that his thighs have some real shape to them and his tummy's hanging out a lil bit. Besides, Swerve worships him all the same <3 and Sunstreaker's absolutely gotta get fatter, and i think he'd quickly realize that having bigger legs and ass looks good on him...

It's a titty renaissance after the war... so many mecha are getting fat in the chest area, pouches growing nice and heavy as they're suddenly filtering out a lot more energon than before. I know Ratchet's were already big, barely suited for his windshield, but now he has to get them milked a few times a day... Cyclonus is so old he's not used to his tits filling out with energon. They get bigger and softer and Tailgate is obsessed with them.

i do think Megatron's tits grow so much because he's also never properly fueled before. He never knew they could get this big. He has a hard time keeping them under his chest plate...

#valveplug #boobdayforever #lactation #weight gain kink #texty

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transingthoseformers · 10 months

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Decepticon Reality Television AU Roddy and Galvatron:

GALVATRON: Come out and face me my Prime!

OPTIMUS: I do not know you but I will meet–

GALVATRON: I SAID MY PRIME NOT A WASHED UP OLD MAN! RODIMUS PRIME REMOVE THIS DECREPIT JUNK FROM THE BATTLEFIELD! DO YIU AUTOBOTS HAVE NO MANNERS? RESPECT A NEMESIS CLAIM!

RODIMUS: I'M BUSY GALVATRON! FAMILY REUNION! STOP PICKING ON GRANPA! WE HAVE PROTOFORMS PRESENT!

GALVATRON: MY BELOATHED NEMESIS! I WILL DEPART FOR NOW AS THERE IS NO HONOR FOGHTING CHILDREN ONCW YOU HAVE FINISHED WE MUST MEET TO TRY OUR METTLE!

RODIMUS: FINE! BUT MAKE SURE YOU FIX YOU LEFT ARM IT'S STILL CATCHING!

GALVATRON: MY ARM IS FINE!

RODIMUS: *gasp* AND YOU WOULD DISRESPECT ME BY NOT OFFERING YOUR FINEST FORK TO BATTLE! CYCLONUS TOLS ME YOU REFUSED TO SEE A MEDIC! LET KNOCK OUT FIX YOU OR I AM SENDING MAGNUS AND WON'T FIGHT!

GALVATRON: FINE! UNLIKE AUTOBOTS I HAVE MANNERS AND WE'LL MEET YOU AT MY PEAK! FAREWELL NEMESIS!

RODIMUS: BYE GALVATRON! TELL CYCLONUS THAT TAILGATE SAID HI!

GALVATRON: I SHALL LET MY BELOVED TRINE MEMBER KNOW! SCOURGE ALSO WISHES TO KNOW IF SWOOP WOULD STILL BE INTERESTED IN FLYING!

RODIMUS: I'LL ASK! TEXT HIM LATER.

RODIMUS: *turns back* Sorry about that. Galvatron's just like that. You get used to it. It's cool.

Holy fuck that's hilarious and adorable, they hate-care about each other

Kinda

#maccadam #transformers #Decepticon Reality Television au #rodimus prime #cyclonus #Galvatron #scourge #swoop #tailgate #tfe optimus prime #transformers earthspark #oh how the DRT fandom will go NUTSSSSS over this newest development

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cosmic-orange-milkshake · 4 months

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twitter dump 2, electric boogaloo

Transformers OC inspired by pea car! (oh pea car my beloved <3)

Tailgate and Cyclonus show up for fnaf night at Swerve's!

Lost Light liaison receives a christmas present? from Whirl!?

Merry christmas from AstroBlaze! (on behalf of the Liberty crew not because they got too shitfaced at the chirstmas party no not at all)

Really good lineart(+colouring) that I got excited over (it was for a birthday gift for a friend ^^)

Fan art for an old flash animation series i used to be obsessed with! (does anyone else remember bfdi? I miss the days when I used to come home from school and run straight to the 'puter to see if the next episode came out.)

#transformers #transfomers oc #transformers art #bfdi #bfdi fanart #clownsona #orange's-art

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roman0writes · 1 year

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𝓗𝓸𝔀 𝓣𝓸 𝓜𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓣𝓸 𝓐 𝓣𝓮𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓱𝓮𝔁𝓲𝓪𝓷

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇ:

Summary: Cyclonus is afraid to show Tailgate his interfacing array. As a tetrahexian, it can be… a lot to take. On the other hand, Tailgate is more than eager to see what sets a tetrahexian valve apart from their cybertronian counterparts.

Content Warning: Brief arguement, mentions of getting body augmentations, valveplug, sticky sexual interfacing, spark merging, unusual genitalia (Cyclonus has pussy teeth), mentions of Rewind/Chromedome

Pairing: Cygate, Tailgate/Cyclonus

AO3 link

A/N: A very special thank you to user AO3 slinkykinkajou for writing the fic that inspired this. Their ending notes to Neon Blue & Violet have been bouncing around in my brain like the DVD logo for basically a month. I said I would write something myself and I did. So here it is.

I posted the idea in a discord and apperantly tenderly making love to someone with pussy teeth is nightmare fuel. XD

This piece is not safe for work and is literally PWP. If you’re a minor please do not interact with this post in anyway, shape or form.

He loved tailgate, he truly did, and he truly wished he could show him every way he loved him. He wants to tenderly kiss up and down the silvery blue metal of his body, and ride his spike until blunt gray digits, glittering with his lubricant, leave dents in his pelvic plating from the force of his overloads.

But that’s not an option right now. Luckily, Cyclonus is a patient mech, who enjoys the journey more than the destination. So really, who is he to complain about the slow pace he’s taking with his beloved. If anything, Tailgate is the one being impatient about this, about their interfacing life.

Tailgate is impatient. He’ll admit it. But shouldn’t he be impatient about this. Not when Cyclonus reaches deep inside him, his valve, his spark, and wraps around him, his spike, his servos, like a boa constrictor waiting for the perfect time to squeeze just right, and take everything.

“I want to touch your valve,” he says as firmly as he can. He’s trying to be assertive. He’s working on asking for help, or things he wants. And well, he really wants this. More than anything, really. His servo itches to stroke lilac folds and his mouth salivates at the thought of wrapping his lips around that glowing yellow exterior node.

“I don’t think you’re quite ready for that,” Cyclonus responds. He denies them what they both want, knowing that they need to wait longer. That tailgate loves him, but that interfacing with someone like him can be terrifying. He just needs to wait one more month, to get the mods to remove the teeth around his labia and around the calipers inside him.

“But I was ready for you to turn me into an overstimulated mess 5 decacycles ago?” tailgate snaps back. And then his hands cover his mouth immediately. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to snap!”

Cyclonus sighs and gestures him to come closer. “ ‘Tis fine, come here.”

“It’s not fine! I shouldn’t talk to you like that! Ever!”

Tailgate finds himself helplessly pulled into Cyclonus’s lap, and his neck being nuzzled into by his conjuring. “I understand you’re frustrated, however it’s not you, the issue has never been you.”

“Babe…”

“Please do not call me those infernal Earth pet names.”

Tailgate chuckles and Cyclonus’s engine rumbles into his back. It’s nice, it’s peaceful, at least until Cyclonus speaks again. “You have to understand the issue is that my anatomy is dangerous, especially for a bot such as yourself.”

“Cyclonus, Ratchet showed me the diagrams of Tetrahexian interfacing parts when i went in to get tested for virus’s and get a cap put on my gestational chamber,” Tailgate responds, “I know what I’m going to see when your panels slide back.”

Cyclonus freezes. One of the few things he was afraid of was the eventuality that tailgate would see the barbed spike, which frankly intimidating for even other Tetrahexians, and see the sharp denta peaking between the folds of his valve and decided that Cyclonus wasn’t worth it anymore. That he was just as bad as everyone thought he was. But here he was, panel closed, and tailgate telling him that he knew, and the possibly, he didn’t care. “And you don’t mind?”

“If I minded I wouldn’t have been begging for the last few cycles for you to pull the panel back so I can like your pretty valve,” tailgate responds. He feels Cyclonus’s vents hitch and then blast hot air onto him. It’s soothing and arousing in the sense as it foreshadows what is to come.

Tailgate takes the silence as a queue to continue talking, hating to leave this moment quiet, when there’s a chance that Cyclonus is stewing in hurt and fear he is too prideful to show, a vulnerability he can’t show because he has to be strong for his conjux.

“In fact, the idea is really hot,” he finally settles on, “the idea that you could hurt me, but won’t, because you love me.” Tailgate takes a deep breath. “Oh slag. I want to touch your valve so badly. I don’t want to pressure you but-“

He’s interrupted by the sound of Cyclonus’s valve panel transformer in away and he scrambles out of his lap to take a closer look at his lover’s array. Tailgate is on his knees, in between Cyclonus’s legs, and his vents hitch at the glow behind his brilliant blue visor. It bathes his inner thighs in aqua light, and his yellow node pulses sunlight against the servo the Tailgate brings to it.

His fingers spread the lips of Cyclonus’s valve and show the rippling calipers inside. Sharp denta around the entrance almost completely retracted from arousal. He traces his finger around the edges of them and Cyclonus’s legs twitch and he brings a fist to his mouth to try and hide the noise that leaves his intake.

With one last look up, to confirm that Cyclonus truly wanted this, Tailgate transforms his battle mask away and lets him watch as his glossa traces his derma before he dives in.

He tries so hard to remember what feels good for him, what makes him wail and cry while Cyclonus is in between his legs, but he’s just so consumed in the smell and taste that he almost forgets he’s supposed to pleasing his partner.

His lips wrap around Cyclonus’s node and he doesn’t hear the keen because quivering purple thighs trap his helm exactly where he is, a clawed servo on the back pushing him deeper into the valve he’s currently devouring. He feels like he’s tasting sunlight, the way his tongue tingles with electricity and warmth.

His two servo trace the edges of his labia, the first ring of calipers with teeth, gently coxing them to retract before he pushes his two servos inside his valve, tips caressing the next line of calipers and denta.

Cyclonus has completely thrown his body back and is shaking, overwhelmed by the pleasure and love going through his system. He doesn’t know when his spark chamber opened up, he doesn’t know when his fisted servo left his mouth and began playing with the physical light pouring from him. He doesn’t know when it started spinning so quickly, flashing the room in bright blue light in flashes so brightly and quickly, that the echo of everything never left in the dark.

“I’m close!” He calls out to his lover. Was it in warning or was it a plead to continue? He doesn’t have time to figure it out before Tailgates servos push past the second and third calipers of his valve and the spasm around them in his overload.

Tailgate sucks his node and thrusts his servos through it, carrying him through easily the most intense overload of his life. Cyclonus has rip Tailgate’s head from between his thighs when the overstimulation gets too much.

His faceplates are burning blue, spark chamber open bathing tailgate in blue light, and he sees Tailgate open his as he crawls back up, faceplate-to-faceplate with his lover. Their chasises’ press together and he feels the flood of love, trust, and joy, carry and float him down from the high of his overload.

Cyclonus offlines his optics for a moment, he swears it’s just a moment, but when he comes back online his valve is closed and cleaned, his spark chamber closed covered by Tailgate resting on top him.

“You okay?” Tailgate asks.

Cyclonus grumbles at him lowly, but holds him closer to his chassis, to his spark.

“Okay less talking, more napping, got it.” He chuckles before nuzzling into Cyclonus’s kibble.

Silence passes over the two for a few kilks.

“How long until we have that double date with chromedome and rewind?” Cyclonus eventually asks.

“It started like… a human hour ago… I think.” Tailgate says. “We missed it.”

“Slag.”

#valveplug #cyclonus #tailgate #cygate #cyclonus x tailgate #idw transformers #Roman after dark

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zephyrrhiesfyrian · 1 year

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I finally decided to move the tiny faces to their own folder so I don't have to scroll through the entire archive of like 700 images every time I want to find the newest ones.

As always, we must perform the ancient rite to give thanks to @tiny-tf-faces for introducing us to tiny faces.

Rodimus has seen something indescribable.

Hound!

HIGHBROW MY BELOVED

Bluestreak!

About 70% of Rodimus's face.

Tarn's tiny faces always end up so scrunkly.

Part of Inferno. Poor baby's been cut in half.

This is Hound I swear.

Crosscut!

A smol Swerve.

Nickel yelling at her stupid sons.

Skids! (and part of either Nightbeat's or Nautica's speech bubble)

Helex looking very sad.

Rodimus managing expectations :D

I think this is Siren?

LEOZACK!!!

A miniscule Tailgate.

Cyclonus observing.

Ratchet in the jury at Brainstorm's trial.

Rewind is so small.

Perceptor!

Nightbeat, ready to investigate something.

Riptide! :D

Careful, Nautica's armed.

Rung is here, of course, as he is always watching. o-o

Xaaron! This might be the first tiny face of him I've posted.

Magnus, presiding over Brainstorm's trial.

This image has done Rodimus so dirty. smh

Chromedome!

Brainstorm, defending himself in court.

And that's all we have room for in this post! :D

#transformers #transformers idw #transformers mtmte #zefposting #shitpost #comic captures #silly tiny faces #as you can probably tell most of these are from brainstorm's trial #i also have a lot of the djd looking dumb while on des's warworld so stay tuned for that #my favorite tiny faces are when they're just their helms with no actual facial features #b l a n k

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ao3feed-skystar · 9 months

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wrapped up in (my devotion to) you

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/QhG8poN by thevosboss (nebulousdream) Lord Megatron of the Kingdom of Tarn is hereby cordially invited to a banquet celebrating the esteemed marriage of Starscream, Winglord of Vos, to his Skyfire of Altihex. A plus one is required, and it must be the invitee's betrothed. Megatron is convinced this is a plot to make a fool of him for being unwed himself, so he hatches a plan—he'll bring along Soundwave, his most loyal retainer, to act as his beloved for the banquet. Now Soundwave faces a dilemma: he must hide his true feelings by pretending they're false, and he's not sure how long he can blur the lines. Words: 2339, Chapters: 1/6, Language: English Fandoms: Transformers - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Megatron (Transformers), Soundwave (Transformers), Starscream (Transformers), Jetfire | Skyfire (Transformers), Cyclonus (Transformers), Tailgate (Transformers), Drift | Deadlock, Skywarp (Transformers), Thundercracker (Transformers), Ratchet (Transformers), Background & Cameo Characters Relationships: Megatron/Soundwave (Transformers), Jetfire | Skyfire/Starscream (Transformers) Additional Tags: Minor Cyclonus/Tailgate (Transformers), Minor Drift/Ratchet (Transformers), Minor Skywarp/Thundercracker, Background Relationships, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fake Marriage, Conjunx Endurae (Transformers), Pining, Eventual Smut, Alcohol, Valve Fingering (Transformers), Tribadism, Frottage, Button Play, Sticky Sexual Interfacing (Transformers), Weddings, Alternate Universe - Fantasy read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/QhG8poN

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #Skyfire #Starscream #SkyStar #Jetfire

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signanothername · 11 months

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Do you have a favorite Transformer? And another random favorite? Uh no particular reason I'm asking-

Hcchchvhvh ok that’s so damn hard cause they’re all so damn cool

But imma try to list the ones that have a special place in my heart (warning: they’re so many chchhc)

These are in no particular order, just dumbing my blorbos, imma divide them by iteration (tho there could be the same character from different shows/comics)

But before that imma save you the trouble and shorten the big list to these characters:

Knockout, Breakdown, Soundwave, Starscream, Megatron, Ratchet, Rung, Thrash, Misfire

Now if you want me to choose one and only one character? I would say

✨Ratchet my beloved✨

Anyway, if u wanna read the longer more specific list it’s under read more :D

-TFP

Knockout and Breakdown, Starscream, Soundwave, Megatron, Arcee, wheeljack, Dreadwing, Predaking, Optimus, Shockwave, Bumblebee

———

-Earthspark

The T twins (Thrash and Twitch), Megatron, Nightshade, Tarantulas, Bumblebee, Soundwave

———

-IDW

Starscream, Prowl

———

- IDW MTMTE/ LL

Rung, Megatron, Brainstorm, Cyclonus and Tailgate, Whirl, Ultra Magnus (Minimus Ambus), Rodimus, Skids, First Aid, Fortress Maximus, Pharma, literally all the Scavengers, Sunder, Overlord

———

-Animated

Prowl, Bulkhead, Blurr, Blitzwing, Jazz

———

And last but not least, Ratchet (literally every Ratchet in any iteration ever he always manages to steal my heart)

#why are u asking tho- /lhj #I’m so sorry but it’s so hard to love only one or two #so many characters are amazing like actually love them #but yeah Ratchet takes the number one spot I think #followed immediately by Rung #idk but something about Ratchet’s character is so tragically beautiful to me #imma ramble but that would be off topic hcchchhchc #anothers ask

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thanksjro · 2 years

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More Than Meets the Eye #43 — Swerve’s Terminal Case of Sad Bitch Disease

Y’all ever think about how IDW Publishing has a DeviantArt? Because I think about that sometimes.

Anyway, I know you’re are only here for Wife Mode Cyclonus, so let’s just get on with it.

You fucking horny bastards.

So weirdly enough, this comic about giant space robots doesn’t start with giant space robots. Or in space. Instead, we find ourselves on the set of the apartment from beloved mid-90s/early 2000s sitcom Friends. It’s a pretty faithfully detailed background, too. No wonder Milne needed help with inks on this issue.

On the couch is a toddler wearing some safety goggles, while a woman in Victorian dress stares out the window. The toddler complains about how she’s got nothing to do, save for reading More Than Meets The Eye, though even that she finds confusing.

Imagine needing to check the wiki for your Transformers lore. Couldn’t be me.

(It could be, and is very frequently.)

The Victorian woman comments that the comic didn’t capture her likeness very well, but the toddler disagrees. The Victorian woman then gripes about Rung, Skids, and Bluestreak having been MIA for the last six hours. Yes, this lady in fancy dress is actually Cyclonus, and the toddler is Tailgate; we’re having a holomatter adventure, and everyone’s gotten hot new looks, because Guido Guidi isn’t on this issue! Instead, we have our standard artist, Alex “Same Face Syndrome” Milne.

Toddlergate gets a message from Rodimus, who texts like my mom, asking what the hell is going on down there. In New York City. Because they’re in the Friends apartment. Also, apparently he has a Swerve emoji in his phone. Does he have emojis of all his crew, or is Swerve special? Many questions that will never be addressed again will arise in this issue.

There’s a knock at the door, and Serving Cuntclonus lets in the rest of the search team.

Skids what the FUCK is your face doing

Cuntclonus yells at the three for having gotten caught up in the neighbors’ antics, because they’ve got a search and rescue mission on their hands. Everyone agrees to having no more distractions, and then Sir Rungington VII’s paint gun goes off, hitting Cuntclonus in the face. The story’s cold open ends, I’m assuming so Cuntclonus can tear Sir Rungington VII limb from limb, and we get our opening credits.

That’s right— opening credits.

We get two whole pages devoted to a sitcom-style opener, introducing the cast we’ve seen so far, alongside some fun panels from previous issues, assumedly set to some upbeat, non-offensive music, then we jump back in time to Megatron calling for Swerve to come to the bridge of the Lost Light. Rodimus enters, asking what’s going on, and Megatron informs him that the ship is being chased by a planet. Rodimus takes a moment to process this info, then notices that the planet chasing them is, in fact, Earth! Weird, since they’re nowhere near there. Blaster plays the only clue to what the hell is going on for his captains, and we get an idea of why Swerve needs to get his little ass to the bridge.

Believe it or not, Earth’s chasing the ship Never thought it had flight capability Flying through space, it’s a vacuum, no air Who could it be? Believe it or not it’s just Swerve

But how did Swerve do this? And why? Somebody go find the bastard so we can get some answers!

Thank you, Skids.

Before Skids interrupted just there, First Aid was having a moment with Tailgate, only slightly marred by Tailgate’s refusal to stop straddling his hoverboard. It turns out First Aid’s about to leave the Lost Light, on orders from Optimus Prime to fuck off into another comic run. I’m sure First Aid will be completely unchanged by the experience, certainly not joining any weird magic polycules, but it sucks for Velocity, who is now the only practicing medical doctor on the whole ship. Girl failed her exams nine times, hope she’s up to the challenge of handling the health and bodily integrity of a ship the size of friggin’ Manhattan.

But anyway, something’s wrong with Swerve. He’s in rough shape physically, though his brain activity is going absolutely bonkers. First Aid predicts that the guy’s got a couple days at most before he dies, and he’s got no idea why, since there’s no sign of injury that he can find. Rodimus (who showed up to be told the bad news) thinks this is strange, because this is the same day as the dance party, and we all saw that Swerve was there and feeling well enough to host, right up until he phased out of reality. Nightbeat cuts in here (he’s also in the medibay, for the purpose of being nosy) to say that the Swerve at the dance party was actually a holomatter avatar, which is why he phased out in the first place; it coincided with Swerve's current state hitting critical mass.

Swerve is also projecting the Earth that’s following the Lost Light, and the friggin’ thing is partially populated with human avatars. No wonder his brain is cooking inside his head; I can barely keep track of myself, let alone the entire populace of NYC.

After taking a moment to reconsider the direction his life has taken, Rodimus calls for volunteers to fill out the search team, who we’ve already seen. Though dubious about this whole situation, they agree to go down and see how hostile Swearth is. Brainstorm (who is also here, because the holomatter program is his baby, and it’s not like the guy on house arrest is gonna tell his captain no) warns the gang that projecting the 400 mile distance to Swearth might hurt, and also maybe kill them.

The team pops on their avatars, Bluestreak reminds us that he went to Earth during the eruption of modern internet culture, no one knows what a 101 class is, and Rodimus again reconsiders the direction his life has taken.

We cut back to the scene in the Friends apartment, where Skidstopher Eccleston has taken to drinking, and Toddlergate appears to have a sippy cup that looks an awful lot like Cyclonus. And not a Getaway-shaped thing in sight. I think we know who end game is going to be.

Obviously, Huffer/Xaaron.

Anyway, Toddlergate is telling the gang about the comic she’s still reading. She’s is currently on #21, when Swerve opened the time case. If you don’t remember him doing this on-panel, it’s because Swore Swan Sweets Swe Sweye is from Swerve’s perspective, as opposed to being omnipresent.

This is the point where Bluestreak 2005 comes in, the troublesome neighbors in tow.

I’m sure these three men named after sitcom characters and encompassing different aspects of Swerve aren’t plot-important at all!

They immediately start tearing into each other, Sheldon and Ted berating Jerry over sabotaging their work for the LOLs. Jerry in turn implies that Ted lacks the faith needed to actually go make an impact in the world, and that Sheldon isn’t doing nearly enough with what is supposed to be his life’s purpose. Skidstopher Eccleston tells them all to shut the fuck up, then has Bluestreak 2005 take a call from Rodimus. But not just any Rodimus. This is 80s Mullet, 4-Shirts At Once Rodimus.

Oh Milne what the fuck is thissssssss

Not that this isn’t in-character for Rodimus “Surfs on Meteors for Funsies” of Nyon, it’s just… I feel like there was a cleaner way to get this visual information across. Maybe didn’t need ALL the shirts. At least Trenchcoat Nightbeat looks cool. And his skin is colored like an actual human being, and isn’t literally the same color as asphalt like we got in All Hail Megatron. Thanks, Lafuente!

Swearth isn’t a one-to-one facsimile of Earth, as it’s revealed there’s an omnipotent laugh track that goes off anytime someone says something that could be seen as an attempt at a joke. Bluestreak 2005 goes on to explain more of the sitcom weirdness soaked into the foundation of Swearth, probably deeply regretting having galactic wi-fi set up for the ship at this point. Mullet Rodimus points out that their non-Swearth-related life is also pretty weird, then hangs up to go help an old man cross the street.

Mullet Rodimus makes a weird little dig at PeePaw Megatron’s cane, then they decide to hit the bars, to see if Swerve is hiding out in his chosen career path.

Back over at the Friends apartment, Bluestreak 2005 is getting the neighbors’ locked door situation fixed, while Skidstopher Eccleston has a moment of crisis with Sir Rungington VII, because he never went to Swerve’s room in all the years he’s known him. He only ever saw Swerve at the bar, or during ship-wide adventure nonsense, never sought him out just for the hell of it. Maybe if he had, Swerve’s months of hiding in his room rotting away wouldn’t have become the now-critical nightmare that it is.

Toddlergate pops in to say that the comic book finally got to issue #43, and man is the Story So Far a doozy!

Brainstorm is gonna fucking strangle him.

So, Swerve is using MTMTE to communicate his situation, as best he understands it, to those who might come looking for him. Awesome! But we still have to find the guy.

Lol, just kidding, he was literally across the hall this entire time.

Milne that’s not hOW FUCKING GLASSES WORK YOU GOON

Over at the bar, Peepaw Megatron laments his faded youth, while Overalls Nautica explores her death wish, by way of trying to tickle the bastard who killed everyone in NYC. Peepaw Megatron has a moment of reflection on the nature of humanity, after getting a cut on his hand, but nobody gives a shit about whether he’s cool with humans or not, so Rodimus cuts in to let everyone know that Swerve is not cooperating with the Not Letting Swerve Die mission.

Back in the Friends apartment, Crisis on Infinite Swerves admits that he doesn’t know what’s wrong with him physically that could be causing him to fucking die. Sir Rungington VII gets lost in the psychoanalyzing sauce, but Skidstopher Eccleston gives not a fuck about that. He only cares about Swerve’s impending death! He grabs Crisis on Infinite Swerves by the face like he’s gonna kiss him, and tells him to stop burying the pain so they can help.

Toddlergate butts in, stating that Swerve is stuck doing Rungian re-experience therapy, a thing that was mentioned way back in issue #13 as being a thing Swerve did when life got stressful. The cocktail of being sad over his demotion from main cast, angry about Megatron boarding the ship, and exposure to several Brainstorm inventions made it so that his self soothing manifested outwards into the real world, after months of isolating himself from his peers. Why Sir Rungington VII, who was also there for that conversation, didn’t consider this possibility, is unclear, but it’s probably because he’s bad at his job.

This is where Cuntclonus cuts in, telling Crisis on Infinite Swerves that despite his many faults, people still care about him, the entire Lost Light crew having projected to Swearth as part of this search mission.

Now knowing that he hasn’t faded away from everyone’s minds, Swerve can finally acknowledge the pain, and Crisis on Infinite Swerves’s shoulder begins to bleed in the shape of an Autobot insignia. Hooray, we found the issue! Drinks all around!

Later, we see First Aid on the shuttle to “Combiner Wars”, on the phone with Velocity discussing the aftermath of Swearth. Velocity had cut into into Swerve’s shoulder, revealing a rust infection that had gone untreated for years. As they talk, First Aid looks through the tablet Tailgate gave him as a goodbye present. There’s a picture of him with Ratchet, Ambulon, and a smiley-face drone, and then a picture of Ironfist and Swerve that sets off his “I need to be weird about people’s badges to impress Springer and his giant boobs” senses.

Before he can fly out of the reception zone, First Aid tells Velocity to cut Swerve’s shoulder open again. The one where the infection was. The one he patched up after running into the DJD. The one where he used to have an Autobot badge. The one where he got shot by Agent 113, with a bullet containing vital information.

I mean, yeah, no shit. She hasn’t sewn him back up yet!

#transformers #MTMTE #issue 43 #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post #comic script writing

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