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stormyoceans · 5 months

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monica im gonna need you to verbalise what the birthday scene did to you because i've been on the lookout for your reaction.. i know youre barely human rn so whenever you feel like it ofc 🥰

PETRI IT'S SO VERY SWEET OF YOU TO WANT TO KNOW MY REACTION TO THE MOST INSANE 20 MINUTES OF TELEVISION EVER PUT TO FILM BUT IM AFRAID I WON'T EVER BE MENTALLY FIT ENOUGH TO PUT INTO WORDS THE AMOUNT OF PAIN SUFFERING TORMENT AGONY ANGUISH SADNESS DESPAIR DEVASTATION DESPONDENCY HEARTBREAK AND DIVINE WRATH I WENT THROUGH WATCHING THAT ENTIRE SCENE LIKE I WAS GENUINELY WHITE KNUCKLING MY WAY THROUGH IT JUST GNAWING ON FURNITURE TO PREVENT MYSELF FROM GOING ON A KILLING SPREE AND PETROL BOMBING THE GMMTV HEADQUARTERS

i also feel like most people came out of the episode bawling their eyes out for mork and wanting to talk about him, and of course im no different, but at the same time im literally genuinely truly sincerely honest to god fr not kidding when i tell you i could spend the rest of my life talking about day and how good (and underrated) of a character he is. the frankly insane amount of thoughts and feelings i have about him basically overshadowed everything else EXCEPT FOR THE MURDEROUS RAGE I FELT TOWARDS AUGUST. and like.. the thing i appreciate the most about p’aof’s characters is that they’re all incredibly complex and nuanced, there are no heroes and no villains in his stories (despite what night says), so i do think that august cares about day and didn’t have any malicious intent, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions and august’s ones were wrapped up in so much ableism and selfishness since the very beginning, because he never really tried to understand day or think about what would actually make day happy, he just tried to lessen his own guilt for all the times he made day wait hours for him to show up, for all the matches he made them lose because his temper flared up, for all the forgotten birthdays, for not returning day’s feelings. i don’t want to hate august but the pity he feels for day and the guilt that stemmed from it ended up making day’s deepest fear come true and hurting him in ways august can’t even imagine AND IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY

mork’s anger was so relatable because mork, just like the audience, knows. he’s the only one who knows, not just about day’s heartbreak, but also about august’s words cutting much deeper than a simple rejection. this is exacly the reason day isolated himself and begged his mom not to tell anyone about him losing his sight, and the worst part is that august said all that to mork as if day wasn’t even there, as if he was invisible. honestly i could write a whole other post just about this scene and mork’s anger and the tear running down mork’s cheek not for himself but for day and day taking mork’s hand to stop him from hurting august and mork LETTING HIM and the hug but im sure other people already did better than i ever could and this is already getting way too long so let’s just say that the mental health crisis intervention team that’s always in the room with me when i watch this show had their hands full trying to sedate me (and to think that this was the better outcome too like.. imagine if mork hadn't come back. imagine if august had just walked away leaving day alone with no explanation whatsoever and no way of getting home by himself. KILLING AND MAIMING AND BITING AND TEARING AND RIPPING AND CLAWING AND STABBING AND PUNCHING AND KICKING AND MURDERING)

this mess with august is also making me both appreciate and hurt for day and gee’s friendship because she’s the only person from day’s past who isn’t treating him any differently and who is genuinely trying to understand him, and day TRUSTED her, when he needed someone and mork wasn’t there she is the one he called out for, which is HUGE, but he still isn’t ready to fully open up to her and you can tell this is hurting gee a little because she just wants to be there for him, especially after not being able to for an entire year. unlike everyone else, tho, she respects day’s boundaries and is gonna wait for him to come to her when he’s ready, so it pains me to think that what happened with august might push day towards isolation again (like i know mork isn’t gonna let that happen, but i think day is gonna have a hard time hanging out with other people again, at least for a while) WHICH IS WHY I NEED GEE TO DO WHAT DAY STOPPED MORK FROM DOING AND SLAP SOME SENSE INTO AUGUST

AND OKAY LIKE LET’S TALK ABOUT MORKDAY EVEN IF THINKING ABOUT THEM FOR TOO LONG MAKES ME WANT TO THROW MY WHOLE ASS SELF DOWN A WELL AND DROWN IN 5 CM OF WATER AND ALSO AS WE’VE ALREADY ESTABLISHED IM CLEARLY VERY BIASED TOWARDS DAY EVEN IF I DO TRY TO BE AS OBJECTIVE AS POSSIBLE BUT ALSO LISTEN. people out there blaming day for not falling at mork’s feet right away and hurting mork’s feelings by preferring august (which is not entirely true btw) can meet me in the pit and i don’t wanna get into this here since im just rambling and digressing from what you originally asked way too much, but the point is. people look at this as if emotions are completely clear cut and day can’t both have residual feelings for august and some blooming ones for mork that he isn’t fully aware of, and also everyone seems to forget that day can’t see and mork is his caretaker and he has no idea how much of mork being nice to him is mork actually liking him or mork just doing his job. all of this to say that MY BOY DAY WAS THRILLED AT THE IDEA OF SPENDING HIS BIRTHDAY WITH MORK OKAY??????? HE WAS HAPPY AND EXCITED AND GIFTED MORK HIS FAVORITE PERFUME AFTER SPRAYING IT ON HIM (i could act like a 12 years old and make a joke about day spraying himself on mork since the name of the perfume is ‘day time’ but i won’t because im better than that) [no im not] AND COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT EVER KNOWING SOMEONE NAMED AUGUST. so to hear mork say that he went there as a matchmaker probably was yet another thing that confused day so much about mork’s intentions (and it also had me on the floor recreating the collective wailing scene from midsommar but that’s a different matter)

and like don’t get me wrong, i have no doubts that letting day go with august was probably one of the hardest most painful things mork ever had to do and that the only reason he was actually able to go through with it is because he thought that august was where day’s happiness laid. it was also extremely painful to see mork alone in the background throughout the entire episode, unsure of where he stands in day’s life and feeling like he has no right to claim a place next to him, and day definitely had some part in making him feel like that but i also think that mork was so wrapped up in his own emotions (understandably so) that he didn’t really listen to all the times day was asking him to stay. "not a boss. let's just say im a friend", "why didn't you join us for dinner?", "so will you tell me now what you're going as if not my caretaker?". day may not be sure of his own feelings or how to define his relationship with mork, but he does know that mork belongs right next to him, and seeing day looking for mork and not finding him was just as painful as mork once again not being able to give the damn sunflower to day LIKE SERIOUSLY HOW MANY MORE SUNFLOWERS ARE WE GOING TO GO THROUGH BEFORE IT FINALLY GETS TO DAY STOP THIS MADNESS

AND DON’T EVEN LET ME GET STARTED ON THE SYMBOLISM OF IT ALL AND HOW - JUST LIKE AT THE BEGINNING THEY BOTH WERE THE UNHAPPY PRINCE AND THE UNTAMED FOX IN NEED OF A FRIEND WHO WOULD TAKE THE TIME AND EFFORT TO UNDERSTAND -THEY NOW BOTH ARE THE SUN AND THE SUNFLOWER CHASING THE LIGHT THAT MAKES IT VISIBLE BECAUSE THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN TRULY SEE EACH OTHER AND HOW ALL OF THIS TIES WITH THE KISS HAPPENING AS THE SUN RISES OR I WILL START MAKING RABIS-RIDDLED CREATURE NOISES

im very likely forgetting so many things i wanted to say and that are worth mentioning but this already enough of a mess and i’ve also reached that point of insanity where i need to go meditate in a sensory deprivation chamber to come down from the sheer manic energies that thinking about this show has me going on SO. let’s just leave it at that

IN CONCLUSION. RIP ME

#NOT A SINGLE COHERENT THOUGHT FOUND THIS IS BASICALLY JUST STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS AT ITS WORSE #AND THIS FRIENDS IS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER LET ME TALK ABOUT ANY JIMMYSEA/VICE VERSA/LAST TWILIGHT RELATED MATTER #CAN I APOLOGIZE FOR THIS UNSUBSTANTIAL MESS NOW #last twilight the series #petri 🩵#m: ask

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faerytreealtars · 1 year

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❀ Faerytree Altars ❀

Personal blog: @tinycandle

My YouTube - Check it out for pick-a-card readings, Nature appreciation, and Witchcraft

About Me (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ Hello! my name is Shanna and I am an intuitive tarot reader. I also practice witchcraft, as well as herbalism. I hope to offer some form of guidance, comfort and hope with the help of not only my beloved tarot cards but also all of the lovely spirits that exist around us. 🤍 𝔗𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔩𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔯𝔫𝔢𝔯 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔫𝔢𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔡 𝔞𝔰 𝔞 𝔰𝔞𝔠𝔯𝔢𝔡 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔰𝔭𝔞𝔠𝔢 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔰𝔢 𝔴𝔥𝔬 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔩𝔬𝔰𝔱, 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔲𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔬𝔡 & 𝔭𝔢𝔯𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔰 𝔞 𝔴𝔞𝔫𝔱 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔢. ☀️🦋 ℭ𝔲𝔯𝔦𝔬𝔲𝔰 𝔴𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔬𝔯𝔰 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔪𝔬𝔰𝔱 𝔴𝔢𝔩𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔢 𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔱𝔬, 𝔬𝔣 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔰𝔢! *ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝔍𝔬𝔦𝔫 𝔪𝔢 𝔬𝔫 𝔞 𝔧𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔢𝔶 𝔬𝔣 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔤, 𝔤𝔯𝔬𝔴𝔱𝔥 & 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔫𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫, 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔬𝔴 𝔞 𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔩𝔢 𝔟𝔦𝔱 𝔬𝔣 𝔴𝔥𝔦𝔪𝔰𝔶 𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔬 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔩𝔦𝔣𝔢 𝔞𝔤𝔞𝔦𝔫! 🌼🌈 ☘︎ ℑ 𝔪𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔩𝔶 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔨 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔄𝔫𝔠𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔯, ℭ𝔢𝔩𝔱𝔦𝔠, 𝔄𝔫𝔦𝔪𝔞𝔩, 𝔓𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔱 & 𝔉𝔞𝔢𝔯𝔶 𝔖𝔭𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔰. ℑ 𝔞𝔪 𝔞𝔩𝔰𝔬 𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔢𝔩 𝔡𝔢𝔢𝔭 𝔰𝔬𝔲𝔩 𝔪𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔞𝔤𝔢𝔰 𝔱𝔬 𝔥𝔢𝔩𝔭 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔤𝔯𝔬𝔴 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔣𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔫𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔣 ‧₊˚🌿✩ ₊˚⊹♡ ℑ 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔟𝔢 𝔞𝔡𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞 𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔩𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔠𝔥𝔠𝔯𝔞𝔣𝔱 𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 & 𝔥𝔬𝔭𝔢 𝔦𝔱 𝔟𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔰 𝔦𝔱 𝔡𝔬𝔢𝔰 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔪𝔢 ❀༄ 𝔗𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔨 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔟𝔢𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔧𝔬𝔦𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔪𝔢 𝔬𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔧𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔢𝔶 ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ 𝔅𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔢𝔡 𝔟𝔢! 🧿 ~★ 𝔇𝔦𝔰𝔠𝔩𝔞𝔦𝔪𝔢𝔯: 𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 ℑ 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔳𝔦𝔡𝔢 𝔲𝔭𝔬𝔫 𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔪𝔢𝔞𝔫𝔱 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔟𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔱, 𝔣𝔲𝔫 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔧𝔬𝔶, 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔶 𝔡𝔬 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔰𝔲𝔟𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔱𝔲𝔱𝔢 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔪𝔢𝔡𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔩 𝔞𝔡𝔳𝔦𝔠𝔢, 𝔟𝔢 𝔦𝔱 𝔭𝔥𝔶𝔰𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔩 𝔬𝔯 𝔪𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔞𝔩. 𝔓𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔢 𝔞𝔩𝔴𝔞𝔶𝔰 𝔰𝔢𝔢𝔨 𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔣𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔞𝔩 𝔥𝔢𝔩𝔭 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔱𝔥 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔠𝔢𝔯𝔫𝔰. ☆.𓋼𓍊 𓆏 𓍊𓋼𓍊.☆

More about me! 22 │A lover of Nature, Animals & Magic in all its forms Western Zodiac: Sun: Virgo│ Rising: Virgo │ Moon: Aries Celtic Zodiac: Tree: Vine │Ogham Name: Muin │Animal: Swan Life Path: 9 │ INFP/J

Birth-cards: The Hermit and The Moon

Favourite Cards: The Empress, Strength & the World

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Disclaimer - Must Read!

This Blog and the readings I provide upon it do not substitute for medical advice, be it physical or mental. Please always seek out professional help for your health concerns

Please do not obsess over pick-a-card readings to the point of delusion or harm, etc. This is not healthy for you and Tarot is meant as merely a guide it is not a way to predict your future nor will it ever tell you all the answers for what the future holds as we will always hold free-will to change our fates.

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Send me an ask if you would like to initiate an exchange - This will occur in dms

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Masterlist ♧

Letters from your Guardian Angels

Messages from the place your soul calls home

How does your inner child view current you?

A message from the Fae Realm

Fast Facts about your future soulmate

Messages from a past you~

What are you currently attracting~

How best to be kind to oneself~

Wisdom from the sun ~ Collab!

Comforting Messages from departed pets

Less work, more play! - Ways to connect with your inner child.

What is your soul currently healing?

Wisdom from the elements - Earth

Wisdom from the elements - Water

Wisdom from the elements - Fire

Wisdom from the elements - Air

Your Love story

#fae speaks ♧#tarotblr #cartomancy #channeling #divination #tarot #About me #My links #rules and guidelines

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desiredcrescent · 3 months

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So ya like BG3 Characters?

I got encouragement from one (1) person and im ill with oc thoughts so here we go ✨ Maybe more characters to come but we're dealing bg3 here!

Always open to discuss characters with others, receive asks and the like! I just get very distracted so it might take me a few days to get to you 😅

have some memes before walls of text ✨

Farryn, Tiefling Wild Magic Sorcerer (25 years old)

If you think there's a favourite here on the blog ur right. this is my babyboy. He occupies my brain most of the time. First bg3 tav realness. (the art is by my lovely partner bwee)

- Romancing Astarion and Halsin

- Besties with Karlach

- Dancing around emotions with Wyll (The potential that larian purposefully stood in the way of actually makes me ill fr,,,, why did i not get the dance scene besties.... what did i do wrong...)

~~~

- Glass cannon who's willing to push himself to the limit (magical fatigue themes my beloved) to guarantee his survival. He IS reckless but he will make sure everyone gets out alive.

- He's a city boy stumbling around out here, Perishing at the rough and tumble camp life but he is also in awe of the natural world.

- He mostly acts with self preservation in mind, leading to him being largely non-combatitive whenever possible, or at worst making bold but necessary sacrifices for his and his companions' safety.

- Hates the idea of gods being these fonts of absolute rules and fate being prewritten. Hated everyone being on their god related bullshit.

- He will claim to be a hater!!! he is lying with his 20 CHA score!!! he is in fact a lover at his core. He has so much love for his companions and the world around him despite how it's treated him.

- he's kinda vain in that rich kid way, he has an appreciation for dance and fashion, definitely has standards when it comes to meals eaten too.

~~~

Farryn is the 3rd child to an influential Baldur's Gate family. He was raised in complete secrecy from the prying eyes of the Baldur's Gate elite due to him being born a tiefling. It'd simply ruin his family's image. His family were deeply devoted to the God of Fate, Savras, and in turn all were either skilled diviners, or various clerics in His service.

When he turned 11, he awoke to his magic in a display of chaos, and gifted the slight gift of being able to take control of the wheels of fate. His family then suddenly doted on him, believing him to be the potential chosen of Savras, and this being a blessing for new followers. Their dedication and warped ideas of Farryn lead them to trying to canonize him as some sort of figurehead on the day of his 14th Birthday. After the failure, they bide their time until Farryn's 21st, to try again. But this time he ran, and has been since trying to live in a world where he never truly existed.

~~~

Daeris Cylian, Half-Drow PalaBard, Oath of Vengeance/College of Swords (57~ Years old)

So he was conceptulised as: how fucked up would it be to play a dark urge paladin who fights so hard to keep his oath and yeah. answer is pretty fucked.

- Romancing: Undecided! the allure of Wyll romance is true,,,

- Besties with: Lae'zel, he likes her forwardness and devotion.

- He's not taken his bard levels yet but we're getting there guys. Fic incoming.

- Resisting the Urge (i might be splitting saves to have him break beneath the urge but shh not rn)

~~~

- Soft spoken and gentle mannered, until he's on the battlefield.

- Being a durge he's perhaps a bit too comfortable being covered in blood

- His two instincts being 'kill' and 'be killed for the cause' creates a guy fr.

- He'll never wield a shield, but he'll put himself on the front lines to take the hardest hits. He believes that if he gets hit, its one hit that hasn't landed on someone else.

- He tries to see the best in people, but the second they're responsible for another's suffering?? thin ice.

- Hot. He's hot.

- He plays the lute and violin but he doesn't know that. (calloused hands perhaps better suited to the delicate playing of an instrument, rather than the brutal grip of a heavy weapon)

- Martyr complex off the CHARTS. He will throw himself into every situation possible with little to no regard for his safety. He'll always take the opportunity to suffer in place of someone else.

- an "I'd die for you" kinda guy if that wasn't super clear.

~~~

Daeris awoke on the Nautiloid with the prayers of Ilmater rattling in his head before even his own name. He fought through the nautiloid, horrified at what was going on but unable to save anyone else or lessen the pains they were experiencing. As he awoke on the beach in the wreckage, he swore an oath of vengeance for those who perished on the nautiloid, to hunt down those responsible for... well everything.

Being quick to dedicate himself to Ilmater, he remembers pretty much the core beliefs, about shouldering the suffering of others and acting as selflessly as possible.

~~~

Cress, Tiefling Circle of Spores Druid/Gloomstalker Ranger (20 something, they never really kept track)

- Romancing: No one yet but they have eyes for Karlach

- Best friends with: Lae'zel and Wyll

- Not sure the split on Ranger/Druid levels just yet, I'm not a min-maxer with this stuff and its mostly based on vibes.

~~~

- Happy-go-lucky to a fault! They're so energetic and trusting but this comes with its issues.

- They're SUPER trusting of their 'guardian' and are grateful for some direction.

- Due to their mostly spore-based connections with the Myconids, Cress doesn't love talking. Their voice is often hoarse from disuse, and they definitely prefer any psychic or magical means of communication.

- They're in LOVE with the flora of the surface, they have no idea how to garden but they're so happy to learn.

- They're a psychical touch kinda person, purely because of the lack of it they had growing up.

- If we got one guy who hates gods (Farryn) and a guy who's whole thing is abt his relationship to a god (Daeris), Cress is the guy who simply is a bit clueless on the gods. They live under a rock in those terms. They've read books on some gods but that's probably as far as they've gotten.

- They literally want everyone to like them sooo much.

~~~

Cress is a tiefling who, after being abandoned by their parents at a young age, found themselves scared and alone in the Underdark.

They were just a child stumbling around, and happened upon the Myconid Colonies. Being a child who didn't particularly understand, they just saught shelter and community. And the Myconids offered them this, wearily at first, but as soon as it was clear this child wasn't really going to mean them harm, it was an easy enough transition. Being raised by Myconids was a strange one, perhaps distant in a way but Cress only yearned for acceptance, which they offered freely.

As they grew older, they conversed with outsiders and assisted adventurers and acted as the go to for vibe checking those who wished to temporarily stay in the Myconids' company. They also became an expert navigator for lost adventurers, only asking for seemingly meaningless trinkets from the surface. On one such trip up to the surface, they found themselves snatched up by a nautiloid, and the adventure begins from here.

~~~

Honourary mention to my bastard (affectionate) Serene- I'm just eepy otherwise I'd do a full breakdown.

He's a Knowledge domain cleric to Mystra because i want to menace Gale personally. He's in my co-op game with my lovely partner and between the two of us we've made our tavs the good ol Excited Labrador and Black Cat friendship. Serene is relatively fearless which doubles up as his greatest flaw. idiot for the sake of research and curiosity. the weird hateful yaoi they could have with gale is definitely compelling

~~~

#farryn (tav)#daeris (durge)#Cress (Tav)#Serene (Tav)#I've got a type of character i make and its largely lovers in any form #but yeah the deep lore for these guys continues to spiral #I'll have to remember to take screenshots more often especially with Daeris <3 #man on the verge #Also big up Neon's hair pack I'm using for Serene for this screenshot #hot <3

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slytherinshua · 8 months

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HAPPY 1K TO ZANNA Z TO A TO N & N TO THE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. You deserve it. I MEAN?????? YOU ALWAYS ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS!? YOUR FIC ARE AMAZING AND ANOTHER LEVEL (If you deny this.. I'll make you unloyal to gyehyeon 🥰) MY FAV IS LITERALLY THE ONE YOU WROTE FOR MY BIRTHDAY :((((( I LOVE IT, I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE EVERY FIC YOU WROTE. IT MUST BE TIRING FOR YOU TO CARRY THE WRITING COMMUNITY 🤞🏻

YOU'RE SO

Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it. bro’s beautiful, handsome, pretty, elegant, breathtaking, gorgeous, attractive, charming, heavenly, stunning, exquisite, cute, magnificent, divine, alluring, pleasing, lovely, delightful, appealing, engaging, winsome, ravishing, gorgeous, glamorous, irresistible, bewitching, beguiling, graceful, elegant, exquisite, aesthetic, magnificent, hot, sexy, foxy, tasty, divine, beddable, pulchritudinous, dazzling, fascinating, fine, good looking, graceful, grand, splendid, superb, wonderful, sublime, statuesque, ravishing, radiant, ideal, nice, excellent, enticing, classy, admirable, fancy, angelic, beauteous, luscious, fetching, adoring, adorable, scrunkly, embellishing, flawless, perfect, personable, desirable, seductive, snazzy, striking, showstopping, glossy, eye catching, fabulous, prime, top notch, sensational, premium, tempting, magnetic, captivating, prepossessing, bright, my light, curvaceous, dollish, tantalizing, enchanting, pleasant, flamboyant, glorious, spectacular, fantastic, dandy, hunky, jaw dropping, droolable, rapturous, blissful, sumptuous, luxurious, palatial, swanky, extravagant, extraordinary out of this world, well formed and refined.

(Don't question this.🥰🥰)

Remember don't rush yourself yeah 👀👀👀 I'm very very very excited for your 1k event. The amount of ideas for this event 👀🤞🏻

I came to this app because of enhypen and I guess your hashtags never popped out in my feeds 😞 if it wasn't because of SO MUN 🥰🥰🥰 (Dw I'm back to my So Mun era, he's my one and only) glaresatjihoon&minhyun.

But 🤌🏻 I FEEL EXCITEMENT WHEN I SAW YOU WRITE FOR JO BYEONG GYU!$??"?$$??$?"??$ 🥰🤞🏻

You're slaying so hard (i could never 😞💔)

Everyone on this app should be reading your works cause WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING IF THEY DON'T READ YOUR FICS?! If haters ever appear here, damn they probably never been loved by their parents so they throw hates 🥰

CONGRATS ONCE AGAIN 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ YOU DESERVE A REWARD

MyPinterestaregonnabefullofjbagain 👹

KSJFHSKD I GUESS I CANT REFUTE YOU CAUSE UM IM ALWAYS LOYAL TO JO GYEHYEON BEFORE ANYONE ELSE FR 💪💪 TYSM MIZU IM LITERALLY SO 💔💔💔

so proud to be hot, sexy, foxy, tasty, divine, beddable and most of all hunky 👹😭

THANK U FOR THE JB'S >>>>> WE LOVE A BIEBER 👹

HEY UR BACK IN UR SO MUN ERA CONGRATULATIONS (i started watching sky castle and its currently just me being slightly confused at ppls names and giggling whenever byeonggyu is on screen)

OMG THE BIEBER FEVER AWARD 😭😭😭😭😭

#zanna answers the inbox!!#mizu ⌦ .｡.:*♡

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chemicalbrew · 11 months

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tagged

by @radellama (god, this took too long. and then my draft was eaten. so I'm writing this again. wahh)

1 - Are you named after anyone?

No! And thank fuck! My dad was going to name after his late grandma and I hate, loathe that name. It is really only meant for grandmas. Apparently it means 'divinely beautiful' or some shit, which is really ironic, because it sure doesn't sound beautiful lol

2 - When was the last time you cried?

Ten days ago or around that time, I really don't want to remember exactly, because it was awful (but you helped me through it, bro, god bless). The world bad!! Uni bad!!

3 - Do you have kids?

No, not even OCs. I mean, I have ideas for some and then I proceed to think about the blorbo of the season (in this case, any Zero of your choice... crode about them both fr 💮💿) instead.

4 - Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Yes, because if I don't joke around, I will die >:)

5 - What sports do you play/have played?

youtube

I like swimming though :)

6 - What's the first thing you notice about people?

The fact that they exist, lol. I space out a lot, especially the last couple years... I just don't want to look at the world around me properly sometimes, I'd rather daydream about blorbo, or plan my writing for RC, or think about how hard Katana ZERO hard mode is kicking my ass, etc

7 - Eye colour?

Brown and proud about it :) in the right lighting, they look almost black

8 - Scary movies or happy endings?

Just going to leave what Rads said here:

Both? Whatever feels most appropriate for the narrative. This doesn't really feel like an evenly balanced choice...

because this is so true. The best kind of stories have a bit of both, anyway...

9 - Any special talents?

Being bad at Katana ZERO and then getting better at Katana ZERO

The serious answer is that my talent is being bilingual and annoying about it. I love writing of almost all kinds, even if I have trouble committing to big stories, I just love words and language and I think it gives me power :)

I'm also learning gif editing at my own pace just for fun 👍 and I like how tech\internet literate I am

10 - Where were you born?

11 - What are your hobbies?

gaming (I mean, you know all about my niche ass :) )

more specifically, I love learning about stuff like emulation, homebrew\hacking, etc. it's FASCINATING

writing (specifically discord roleplay (RC ily 🖤) and short fanfic, but the general idea of writing too)

reading (very occasionally lol)

gif editing as said previously :)

also coding, I guess? good lird, i'm bad at handing code though.

12 - Do you have any pets?

used to :( I miss my cat, you guys...

13 - How tall are you?

~145cm I think. I'm tinie

14 - Favourite subject in school?

ENGLISH!!! DUH

15 - Dream job?

Translator, ideally game localizer </3 even more inspired to try and chase this goal through the few means available after witnessing the KZ localization crash and burn 👍

#zero.txt #if you see this consider yourself tagged i can't be assed remembering the @s of my mutuals rn

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riszellira · 8 months

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Reflection: Forgive—It Is Divine

Jesus’ Apostles and some women accompanied Him in His ministry. Among the women mentioned were Magdalene, from whom seven demons had come out, and two others named Joanna and Susanna. They took care of Jesus and the Apostles as they went about their mission. Magdalene was already considered a living dead before she met Jesus. A woman without a husband, and a prostitute at that, was condemned for good in a patriarchal society. But when she decided to follow Him, she was given a new lease of life—earthly and heavenly. Hers is a perfect testament to God’s mercy and compassion, and of man’s capacity to change through hope in Jesus.

Our present situation aches for this truth. It used to be unthinkable to know and see our people being killed extrajudicially. Our laws provide opportunities to render justice and rehabilitation. Both had been eliminated in summary executions. A dead person is already deprived of another chance. We should be alarmed not only of the wanton use of power but also the developing, if not already present, beastly attitudes of the perpetrators of these dastardly acts.

The Catholic faith is a faith of second chances. Our God is a God of forgiveness. Jesus preached repentance because God is merciful and compassionate. Christians are expected to do the same. That is why it is a surprise to know fellow Christians approving, praising, and even supporting the killing of people involved with illegal drugs and other crimes. We favor a war on illegal drugs but not the killings. Even if people are killed by drug addicts, we ought to resist dealing with them in the same way. Otherwise, we are no different from them who we hate in the first place. Our laws and even our faith allows justice. We should let our laws operate against the criminals. Unfortunately, our systems, enforcement, legal and penal, are tainted with corruption, discrimination, and patronage. Nevertheless, summary killings are illegal and immoral.

Let us try to see the face of God in each person, or at least regard them as we do ourselves. That way, we will be more patient, understanding, and forgiving. “Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.”

Fr. Benny Tuazon

How do you regard sinners in our society? Do you condemn them for good?

Help me, Lord, to always seek Your face in each person that I meet. Amen.

Prayer

… for a deep and profound respect for life especially for the unborn.

… for the strength and healing of the sick.

… for the healing and peace of all families.

Finally, we pray for one another, for those who have asked our prayers and for those who need our prayers the most.

God bless!

#reflection #prayer

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missmeinyourbones · 2 years

Note

megumi headcannons im begging you please im starving out here

showers once a day (atleast, sometimes more if he’s training or has a long day). i think he’s a little clean snob fr. has a decent shower routine too, like separate shampoos and conditioners, a nice body wash w exfoliating beads incorporated into it. i know this mf is SOFT and smells DIVINE

his anxiety manifests as order, structure. he needs to have a plan for everything. even something as simple as spending the day in the city, he has an itinerary for ur date. he struggles with being spontaneous so if something goes wrong and his plans get messed up, he's angry at himself??? baby it’s ok you cant control the weather

he journals <3333 he feels like he isn't great with his words, especially when he's put on the spot in the heat of the moment. so he started journaling just to get his thoughts out on paper, but it eventually turned into him practicing organizing his speech. he likes how he cant mumble or stutter on paper. he can erase a word if he doesn't like it and replace it with a new one. he thinks its a good way to perfect exactly what he wants his words to convey (especially if they are words to you)

he is a little nature boy!!! he really likes outdoorsy stuff--he LOVES flowers. he loves surprise you with a nice bouquet and picks out specific flowers based on what they represent like how baby’s breath represents everlasting love and how orchids represent gracefulness ;(((( he doesn’t tell you what they mean when he gives them to you, he likes to think of it as a silent and secret way for him to express his gratitude to you. MEGUMI MY #BELOVED

going off of that, he LOVES receiving flowers from you as well, especially if you pick up on the meaning behind them and start doing the same thing lol. the first time you get him a bouquet, i know his little cold ass heart gets them dehydrated and pressed. he puts them in a frame and keeps it in the bottom of his bedside drawer. its his favorite thing ever. one day he finally gets the courage to place it on top of his bedside drawer and he completely reboots when you ask if those are the flowers you gave him LMFAOOOOO

he really enjoys hozier’s music. i think he likes the overall vibe of his melodies and instrumentals, but he adores how his lyrics are like poetry (again, this goes back to me pushing the megumi thinks he’s bad with words agenda)

refuses to doggy-ear his books when reading them. in fact, he collects bookmarks for this specific reason. he has so many of them so when he reads multiple books at once, he can use a book mark and not fold the pages. HATES when a page has a permanent crease from where you tried to keep ur place :/

his favorite season is autumn. he likes how its a little chilly, but not freezing. he likes the colors of the trees when they change. likes to wear hoodies and sweaters

eats his foods in a specific order (??) like if he has multiple foods on his plate, he doesnt eat a bite of everything as he goes. he finishes a specific portion or side and then moves on to the next. he’s such a little freak

he is just a picky little emo boy :/ he pretends to be so aloof and cold and serious but he has such a sweet soul, he just needs a lil more confidence in his intentions and opinions. i love you, m. fushiguro

#jjk headcanons #megumi headcanons #megumi fushiguro #fushiguro megumi #megumi fushiguro headcanons #megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader

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kitcat-italica · 2 years

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Thinking abt the parallels with Jesus growing up in his adoptive father's workshop as an Artisan (and all the Design Major!Jesus HCs lol') and Judas coming from a family of Potters. I imagine Jesus' family being v. supportive and encouraging innovative design and talking with costumers abt what kind of product they'd want or need, but Judas' family as much more conservative abt it, with a traditionalist mindset, each piece of pottery the same old and. maybe Judas wasn't good with it at all ~ A

OOOH OK, BUCKLE UP BECAUSE I HAVE *THOUGHTS* :D

I fr have been having a brainstorm about Jesus's adoptive dad Joseph. (Toying with the idea of writing a fic about him...we'll see.) He's this regular craftsman, getting ready to marry this girl, when he finds out she's pregnant???? And then an angel is like "yo man it's cool, God chose her to carry His Son who will also be the Divine Savior Of The World, you can still marry her and raise this kid without any dishonor!" And he just...goes with it? And supports Mary? And raises this kid who isn't his? And teaches him how to make beautiful things as a carpenter?

I am having feelings about Joseph of Nazareth ok.

I'm picturing Joseph as this very gentle guy. Maybe Jesus as a young child would wake him up in the middle of the night, having the same recurring nightmare of how "they put holes in my hands and feet". (He still has a divine awareness of his fate from an early age, but he's still a human toddler with big emotions he can't yet regulate effectively.) And Joseph doesn't fully understand what it is Jesus is afraid of, but he soothes him that he's ok right now, and distracts him by carving different animal shapes in a piece of wood while he tells him stories about them :)

Meanwhile, Judas's dad is...not that. His philosophy is to keep your head down, do what's expected of you, and no one gets in trouble. But as Judas grows up, he sees that the world isn't fair. There's poor people starving, the Romans are oppressing them all, and why won't anyone try to fix this? He and his dad get into some heated arguments about this. Many a clay pot was smashed in the crossfire -_-

Then there's the coming out aspect of it. Joseph is like "that's great son, just be careful who finds out, not everyone is ok with that..." And Jesus just gives him that Look and is like "they will hate me for many things, but that isn't one of them" or some freaky prophecy shit like that (and Joseph is like O.o). Meanwhile Judas's dad is...less than thrilled about this. (And he wonders why Judas left town with the first guy passing through xD )

So yes. Joseph is a supportive stepdad! And I love him :D

And in light of these wildly different experiences growing up, maybe it killed any spark of interest in crafting/creative pursuits for Judas? Making things with his hands just gives him a headache, thinking about his dad and all the yelling. But when he sees Jesus happily making things, taking actual joy in the act of creation (and being oh so beautiful while he does it)...maybe it urges Judas to give it another try?

(Maybe Jesus teaches him how to carve something...guiding his hands with his own...being so patient...) (Judas has to scream into his pillow for an hour afterward, he's so in love it hurts)

#jcs 2012 #my fic

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officialleotolstoy · 3 years

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Oh Dolokhov Brainrot We’re Really In It Now, aka Dolokhov playlist annotations!

A note on the cover photo: I don’t really like this one but I got tired of looking at men on Pinterest so I gave up. The window symbolizes the rum window and the smoking symbolizes uhhhhh habitual bad life choices idk

Drinking game take a shot every time I say “it’s about the vibes”

Wrecking Ball - Mother Mother

“I break it just because I can”

This is THEE ‘I am going to cause problems on purpose’ song and that is like his entire narrative purpose!! Argue with me about this one I dare you

The Good, The Bad, and the Dirty - Panic! At The Disco

“If you wanna start a fight you better throw the first punch, make it a good one”

Partially its just vibes, I won’t lie. But also the consistent spoiling for a fight is very in character

Shoot to Thrill - AC/DC

“I’m like evil, I get under your skin”

It’s got I Am Morally Repulsive But Also I’ll Steal Your Girl energy which really hits all of Dolokhov’s character traits. And of course the added bonus of gun imagery.

Mr. Brightside - The Killers

“It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this”

I added it strictly for vibes, but then I realized the quoted lyric is very much him @ the Kuragins if you take the reading that he refuses to admit he actually like them but grows genuinely fond of them over time even though he initially got to know them with a lot of ulterior motives.

Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

“Mama, I just killed a man”

The amount of songs that are on these playlists just for what are essentially your mom jokes since Dolokhov loves his mom so much is a little pathetic. But I’m not wrong! I can’t really put it into words but something about this song has Dolokhov energy.

Feel It Still - Portugal the Man

“Give in to that easy living, goodbye to your hopes and dreams”

A good deal of what I find interesting about Dolokhov is the internal conflict he has of knowing he’s become rather wicked and problematic but also not really trying very hard to change and almost enjoying it so a lot of the songs on here are about that, including this one. The “I’m a rebel just for kicks now” also very much screams Causing Problems On Purpose.

The Bidding - Tally Hall

“I like to take advantage of the bourgeoisie”

His whole role in volume one and two is to take advantage of the bourgeoisie! This song also oozes confidence and a sense of superiority that comes from being better than the sellouts in high society, Dolokhov’s not like other girls uwu (he really is, but I don’t think he would admit that).

Say Amen (Saturday Night) - Panic! At The Disco

“I could be better but baby it’s Saturday night”

Embracing his own wickedness! The idea that he knows he could be better than he is but he doesn’t want to take that opportunity...yeah vibes

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) - Fall Out Boy

“I became such a strange shape from trying to fit in”

This is the epitome of the “woe is me I need to be purified” phase he goes through when he’s into Sonya. Also “I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color” reminds me of Comet Dolokhov’s stupid eyeliner <3

Some Nights - fun.

“So what is this? I sold my soul for this?”

There’s a long stretch of this playlist that just boils down to “Woe is me I need to be purified” crisis hours, because Dolokhov’s oscillation between embracing his own cruelty and trying to be a good person is super interesting to me. This song captures the idea that he’s still having fun and there’s some good there, but he’s also aware that he’s losing himself a bit

Roaring 20s - Panic! At The Disco

“I don’t even know me”

“Woe is me i need to be purified” crisis AGAIN. This song gets more to the annoyance with society as a whole and feeling kind of lost in it

Send Them Off! - Bastille

“Help me exorcise my mind”

“Please purify me 16 year old girl! I’m 27 this isnt creepy at all ahahahha”. I do despise Sonyakhov but this has the vibes of a man feeling his own evil and wanting a woman to fix it. Not a great look.

Easy Days (Demo) - Bastille

“I don’t wanna fall back again, back into the easy days”

Near the end of the “woe is me I need to be purified” phase when he’s kind of drifting back to his old ways and he’s like wait no- wait- and then he does anyway because he’s horrible. I also really like the acknowledgment that his horribleness is easy and pleasant for him, and he has to fight against that (and he loses that fight HDJAJJD).

Undisclosed Desires - Muse

“You trick your lovers that you’re wicked and divine”

This is a Dolokhov/Nikolai song I do not take constructive criticism. Undisclosed desires...not being straight...lots to think about! It feels almost like a corruption arc? Nikolai isn’t corrupted nor does their...fling (?) last very long but Nikolai is obviously enamored with Dolokhov despite him being The Worst so I think this fits. I don’t have enough songs for a Nikolai/Dolokhov playlist so I just add those songs to both of their individual playlists

Thnks fr th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy

“Thanks for the memories even though they weren’t so great”

Also mostly a Nikolai/Dolokhov song. This man has never ended a relationship on good terms, huh. Also. Sighs heavily. “He tastes like you only sweeter” never fails to make me laugh when I think about it in the context of Dolokhov post-duel being like oh?? You’re just a stupid WOMAN Hélène your brother and/or Nikolai is hotter than you :/ which is not exactly what I think happened but it makes me laugh to consider. Dolokhov ur bitterrrrr

Dangerous - Royal Deluxe

“I’ll be the last man standing here, I’m not going anywhere”

I feel like this has the vibes of his cruelty, especially in that bit after the Kuragins have died when he and Petya infiltrate the French army.

Another One Bites The Dust - Queen

“There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man”

He will hurt you and kill you so violently :) It’s about the vibes.

White Wedding Pt. 1 - Billy Idol

“It’s a nice day to start again”

In the exact inverse to his “woe is me I need to be purified” phase, he’s like ok yes i will pick up bad habits again and enjoy them because frick you! I read once that this song is about a relapse into drugs, but I’m making it analogous to his relapse into Terrible Person Behavior after Sonya’s rejection. Also the repetition of the phrase little sister does something for my brain idk, after we know he loves his mom and sister it just fits.

Highway to Hell - AC/DC

“I’m on the highway to hell and I’m goin down”

Like White Wedding, it screams acceptance of his problematicness. He knows he’s cruel and evil and he revels in it. This is the phase we see him in most I think.

Back in Black - AC/DC

“It’s been too long, I’m glad to be back”

I think this plays every time he gets reinstated to an army position he lost by being reckless earlier. Just kidding sort of but listen to this song and tell me it doesn’t have Dolokhov vibes. If you do, you’re wrong <3

Poet - Bastille

“I have written you down now, you will live forever”

This is just here cause he ghostwrote Anatole’s love letters and I think it’s funny. It’s MY playlist and I get to choose the barely relevant Bastille songs

St. Jude - Florence + The Machine

“Maybe I’ve always been more comfortable in chaos”

This one’s more scattered lyrics than an overall vibe. “Each side is a loser so who cares who fired the gun” has duel energy also.

Hey Look Ma, I Made It - Panic! At The Disco

Confession: I hate this song. However, it’s about the about the MOM R U PROUD OF ME vibes (she is. Should she be? Probably not).

Rich Kids - Bea Miller

“It’s never enough for the stuck up types”

The not coming from wealth and having to almost scam your way into being part of the aristocratic scene is very Dolokhov. Also in my mind the rich kid he’s roasting is specifically Nikolai.

Money, Money, Money - ABBA

“It’s a rich man’s world”

I’m not SAYING the wealthy man they talk about is Anatole but - [i am shot]. Scheming and clawing your way up to wealth is Dolokhovcore.

This Is Gospel - Panic! At The Disco

I literally have no justification for this other than that i think modern AU Dolokhov would vibe with it. Look at the amount of eyeliner he wears in Comet and tell me he didn’t have an emo band phase. You can’t.

Trouble’s Coming - Royal Blood

This is not about the words at all, it’s more about the vibes. It just sounds Dolokhovish to me, don’t ask me to explain.

Sleep Alone - Two Door Cinema Club

“They’re just ghosts and they can’t hurt him if he can’t see them”

This gives me post-Kuragins’ death vibes, and I can’t pin down exactly why? I think it’s the idea of being very alone and closed off.

Golden Days - Panic! At The Disco

I can’t put a specific lyric to it but it’s the vibes of looking back on your hedonistic youths with nostalgia and rose-colored glasses. Post-Kuragins’ death vibes again.

Go Get Your Gun - The Dear Hunter

“One foot in the grave, the other one’s kickin’ its way right down to hell”

All we see of him after the Kuragins’ death is just him being particularly cruel and reckless, almost careless. This feels like it encapsulates that energy.

The Fallen - Franz Ferdinand

“They say you’re a troubled boy just because you like to destroy”

I’m aware that a good portion of this song is about a Christ figure but I’m going to respectfully ask you to ignore that bit and just focus on all the Sketchy Things the guy does instead. Thank you. He does in fact like to destroy things! Señor Cause Problems On Purpose back at it again at krispy kreme, huh.

#war and peace #fedya dolokhov #my post #w&p playlists #i counted i said the word vibes 13 times #so sorry

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orthodoxydaily · 3 years

Text

Saints&Reading: Fri., Apr. 9, 2021

March 27/April 9

The Holy Martyre Matrona of Soluneia (4th c.)

The Holy Martyress Matrona of Soluneia (Thessalonika) suffered in the III or IV Century. She was a slave of the Jewish Pautila, wife of one of the military-commanders of Soluneia. Pautila forced her slave into apostasy and conversion to Judaism, but Saint Matrona, having her faith in Christ since her youthful years, still firmly believed in Christ and went to church secretly unbeknownst to her vengeful mistress. One time Pautila, having learned that Blessed Matrona had been in church, asked: "Why hast thou not come to our synagogue, but instead did walk to the Christian church?" Saint Matrona boldly answered: "Because in the Christian church God is present, but He is gone away from the Jewish synagogue". Pautila went into a rage and mercilessly beat Saint Matrona, and having tied her shut her into a dark closet. In the morning Pautila discovered, that Saint Matrona had been freed of her bonds by an unknown Power. In a rage Pautila beat the martyress almost to death, then tied her again even more tightly and locked her in the closet, having sealed the door, so that no one might offer help to the sufferer. The holy martyre was there over the course of four days without food or water, and when Pautila opened the door, she again beheld Saint Matrona out of her bonds standing at prayer. In a fierce rage Pautila began to beat the holy martyress with a stout cane and, when the saint was barely breathing, the fierce woman locked her in the room, wherein also the Martyre Matrona gave up her spirit to God. The body of the holy martyress was thrown from the city wall, by order of Pautila. Christians took up the much-suffered body of the holy martyre and reverently gave it over to burial. And later on, the bishop of Soluneia, Alexander, built a church in the name of the holy martyre, in which they put her holy relics, glorified by miracles. The judgement of God soon overtook the tormentor Pautila at that very place, where the body of Saint Matrona had been throw from the high wall, – she herself stumbled, fell off it and was smashed, having received her just reward.

The Monk John the Perspicacious of Egypt (394)

The Monk John the Perspicacious of Egypt was born at the beginning of the IV Century. He lived in the city of Likopolis (Middle Egypt) and was a carpenter. At the age of twenty-five he went off to a monastery, where he accepted monastic tonsure. Over the course of twenty-five years the Monk John asceticised at various monasteries, and then wanting complete solitude, he withdrew into the Thebaid onto Mount Bolcha. Saint John then spent twenty-five years in solitude, never leaving the spot. He conversed with people coming to him through a small aperture, through which he also accepted frugal amounts of food brought him. The Monk John already after thirty years in seclusion was granted by God the graced gift of perspicacious foresight. Thus, he predicted to the emperor Theodosius the Great (379-395) the victory over his adversaries Maximus and Eugenius, and a military victory over the Gauls. For many visiting him he foretold events in their lives and gave them guidance. The holy ascetic distributed blessed oil to the sick visiting him, and anointing with it he healed them from various illness. The Monk John predicted to the monk Palladios, who wrote down his life, that he would become a bishop. The prediction of the seer was fulfilled, and Palladios was made bishop of Bithynia (Asia Minor). The Monk John in his directives commanded first of all to have humility: "Imitate in the measure of your strength the virtuous life of the holy fathers and, if ye fulfill everything, then hope not upon yourself nor praise yourself. For there are many such people, which, having reached perfection in virtue and becoming puffed up with pride, plunge from the heights into the abyss. Observe carefully: is your prayer fervent? your purity of heart not transgressed? your mind undisturbed by extraneous thoughts during time of prayer? observe, do you reject the world with all your soul? or go about to spy out the virtues of others, in vain then with your own particular virtues? Are ye concerned to put forth your good example before other people? Take heed, art ye become conceited in your own righteousness, puffed up with pride somehow by your good deed? Take heed, that during time of prayer thoughts about worldly things do not enter your head, since there is nothing more silly, than to converse with the lips to God, while in thought to be far off from Him. This often happens with those, which not so much renounce the world, as rather that they are concerned to comply with the world. A man, thinking about many things, is given over to cares about things worldly and perishable, but being subjected to concern about things worldly, a man cannot yet with his spiritual eyes behold God. For a man, meditating always about God, extraneous thoughts ought to be all in vain. For this man, who has attained to a certain knowledge of God (full knowledge of God no one can attain to), the mysteries of God are revealed to him, and he sees the future as the present, and like a saint he works miracles and receives through his prayer everything that he beseeches of God... Love silence, child, dwelling always in Divine-meditation and praying God always, that He grant you a pure mind, free from sinful thoughts. Worthy of praise certainly is that ascetic who, living in the world, practises the virtues, rendering kindliness to strangers or distributing alms, or aiding in the work of others, or dwelling constantly without anger. Such a man is praiseworthy, since he dwelleth in virtue, fulfilling the commands of God, while yet not leaving off from earthly affairs. But better than this and more worthy of praise would be that one who, dwelling constantly in Divine-meditation, would ascend from the corporeal to the incorporeal, letting go of the care and concern of others, himself striving towards the Heavenly, constantly standing before God, having relinquished everything worldly and being not still attached to the world by earthly cares. Such a man is in proximity to God, Whom he doth glorify in prayers and psalmody". With these and similar salvific instructions, and with directive discourse and example of like-angelic life, the monk brought much spiritual benefit to people. The Monk John of Egypt survived into old age and expired to the Lord in the year 395, at the age of ninety.

Isaiah 29:13-23

13 Therefore the Lord said: “Inasmuch as these people draw near with their mouths And honor Me with their lips, But have removed their hearts far from Me, And their fear toward Me is taught by the commandment of men,

14 Therefore, behold, I will again do a marvelous work Among this people, A marvelous work and a wonder; For the wisdom of their wise men shall perish, And the understanding of their prudent men shall be hidden.”

15 Woe to those who seek deep to hide their counsel far from the Lord, And their works are in the dark; They say, “Who sees us?” and, “Who knows us?”

16 Surely you have things turned around! Shall the potter be esteemed as the clay; For shall the thing made say of him who made it, “He did not make me”? Or shall the thing formed say of him who formed it, “He has no understanding”?

17 Is it not yet a very little while Till Lebanon shall be turned into a fruitful field, And the fruitful field be esteemed as a forest?

18 In that day the deaf shall hear the words of the book, And the eyes of the blind shall see out of obscurity and out of darkness.

19 The humble also shall increase their joy in the Lord, And the poor among men shall rejoice In the Holy One of Israel.

20 For the terrible one is brought to nothing, The scornful one is consumed, And all who watch for iniquity are cut off—

21 Who make a man an offender by a word, And lay a snare for him who reproves in the gate, And turn aside the just by empty words.

22 Therefore thus says the Lord, who redeemed Abraham, concerning the house of Jacob: “Jacob shall not now be ashamed, Nor shall his face now grow pale;

23 But when he sees his children, The work of My hands, in his midst, They will hallow My name, And hallow the Holy One of Jacob, And fear the God of Israel.

Proverbs 14:15-26

15The simple believes every word, But the prudent considers well his steps.

16 A wise man fears and departs from evil, But a fool rages and is self-confident.

17 A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, And a man of wicked intentions is hated.

18 The simple inherit folly, But the prudent are crowned with knowledge.

19 The evil will bow before the good, And the wicked at the gates of the righteous.

20 The poor man is hated even by his own neighbor, But the rich has many friends.

21 He who despises his neighbor sins;

22 Do they not go astray who devise evil? But mercy and truth belong to those who devise good.

23 In all labor there is profit, But idle chatter leads only to poverty.

24 The crown of the wise is their riches, But the foolishness of fools is folly.

25 A true witness delivers souls, But a deceitful witness speaks lies.

26 In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, And His children will have a place of refuge.

#orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #ancientchristianity #originofchristianity #spirituality #sacredtexts #oldtestament #wisdom

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whitherliliesbloom · 4 years

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yet with each descent do we rise again

[ ffxivwrite2020 ] ★ [ masterlist ] ★ [ prompt #26 - when pigs fly ]

[ alphinaud/wol ] ★ [ 2,548 words ] ★ [ fairy au ]

illya skawi & alphinaud leveilleur. in an au where il mheg is home to a nation of fae folk, all of whom are ruled by titania illya. mentions @ancientechos‘ laurelis, @firstblesssed‘s elletha and @windupnamazu‘s lunya. contains the origins / lore of porxies in this au. i also reveal illya’s fae name for the first time in this fic but who really cares-

if porxies were the manifestation of the impossible being made possible, why did the sight of them bring titania so much grief?

He’s seen no skies clearer than one that hung over Il Mheg, a testament to the majesty that was the fae folk and their magics, no doubt. Despite being told again and again by no few fairies and pixies alike that their kingdom was not how it used to be - her luster tarnished by the leeches that were the mortal race and the marks they’d left upon the land’s beauty - he, in all his ignorant mortal bliss, still believed the kingdom of rainbows to easily be the most beautiful place he’s had the fortune to set foot upon.

And as he greets the stunning soft gradients of blues and cotton candy white that was the sunny morning sky, looking up and being momentarily blinded by the scorching, yet welcoming sun above, he hears a flutter and a twinkle behind him, the back of his neck tickled by a light gust that urges him to spin around as quickly as his artificial rhotano blue wings would allow him.

“'Q-Quel amrun, Alphinaud!” A voice of exceeding melody, one that rose in the air and echoed in his ears like the gentle rustle of leaves upon the wind greeted him in a language he had not yet mastered, and he finds color rising up his cheeks as he takes far too many seconds to find the words to respond.

“A-and good morning to you, your majesty.”

Evidently pleased at his understanding her verbal fae tongue, the queen smiles wider than he’s accustomed to, and the radiance she exudes as if she were a beam of pure, unfiltered light almost sends him reeling.

“’Tis good to see fae blood still courses through your veins.”

Alphinaud bites back a chuckle, and he resists the urge to speak as he bows, watching beneath a curtain of thin lashes as the queen turns her head to breath in the scent of morning dew before directing her tender gaze towards the young man.

His gift - and by extension his duty was still something of an awkward point of conversation between him and the ruler of Il Mheg, despite knowing full well that this arrangement, as gloomy as it made him to remember, was only temporary. Once he finds the cure and the source of the curse, and fulfills his responsibilities as far as it pleased Titania, he will surely be made to leave. Il Mheg was no place for mortals, not after what they’ve done to the fae.

And he was still very much mortal, despite the ring of silver and golden flower embellishments he wore upon his finger, and the gossamer wings that sprouted from his back.

“What’s on your schedule today? Helping Beq Thon with those awful weeds again?” The queen asks, swinging her dainty little legs as she hovered just several feet above marble. Her crystalline wings flutter gently with uncanny grace like petals, and from their tips fell sparkling dusts like thistledown that swirled and were carried away with the chilly lake breeze. The flap of his wings by comparison were harsh and clumsy, and he’d very understandably been called a disgrace to all fairies by all who saw his poor attempts at flying as they do.

Thankfully not, he almost answers, but his conscious is immediately assaulted by a pang of guilt as he remembers the grace in which Illya had granted him stay within her kingdom, and the boundless amounts of kindness that not only she, but the other residents of the fae nation has shown him thus far. Instead he manages something of a forced smile before shaking his head. “I came to see if you needed any sort of assistance, your majesty.”

“Me?” The young fae widens her eyes, hand rising up to rest upon her chest. The limpid silken scarf that hung from her hands ripple upon the wind with her movements. “Oh.. No, no.. There’s nothing I need help with.”

“Is that so? Have you some sort of business outside the castle, then? If you do then, surely, there’s some way I can help you.”

A dust of pink spreads across her pallid cheeks and up to the tips of her pointed ears, but she is quick to hide her blush beneath the light shadows of her pure white bangs

“I-I was... just here to feed the porxies.”

“Porxies?”

As if summoned by the call of their name, a passel of squeaky porxies burst through the bushes, their sizeable ears flapping as they gathered around the queen and oinked in delight. Alphinaud is taken aback for but a moment, mouth agape as he watches Titania toss her pearlescent cane into the air. It sparkles for a moment before it morphs into a hefty palm-sized satchel that lands safely in the queen’s palms.

“Here you go. There’s enough for everyone, so don’t be greedy!”

Illya beckons to the porxies with a wave as she opens the sack, and the pungent smell of grime, rotten fruits and crushed flower paste sends him gasping and grimacing, to which the queen could only flash an apologetic wry smile for.

“Ah.. I’m sorry for the smell.. Their diet is rather um.. peculiar. ”

“N..No! Pray.. forgive me my response.. I was just.... surprised..” Alphinaud pauses, watching as the porxies feasted happily upon their breakfast completely unaware of the stench. “I never would have thought their appetite would be whetted by such... waste.”

With large chomps and nibbles, the porxies begin to disperse in number as they eat their fill from the queen’s gentle palms, the grime of their feed leaving a dirty black stain upon her otherwise supple, clean hands.

“They say one man’s waste is another’s treasure...” Illya murmurs as the second to last porxie in line flutters away, leaving the last of the pack to eat off the scraps of the scraps slowly, but gratefully. “W-well.. porxies, in this case.. But they help with cleaning up the trash by eating them.”

Despite the familiar euphony of her words, and the kindly gaze she held towards the lone porxie, he sensed a touch of melancholy, of a sadness that he knew she would hate for him to notice. It certainly must not have been the queen’s intentions - he knew it wouldn’t have been given her tendency for hiding any emotions that she deemed to be unqueenly of her. And if the accounts of her friends and advisor were to be trusted, it’s that Titania of all people bottled up a mountains worth of burden and sorrow inside herself - one she refused to show to anyone.

Alphinaud is silent as he watches her, glowing and mesmerizing in her beauty as she gently strokes the top of the porxies head as it squeals gleefully at her. He can swear the sun’s rays grow twice more incandescent as they shone through her shimmering, glassy wings in pink and purple hues like stained glass, only second to the warm, glittering hues of her eyes that reminded him of a field of lavender and violets.

She was ever like a beacon of effervescent light - not just to him, but to Il Mheg and her people. And yet she would not allow herself even the luxury of grieving, of showing her sadness to the world for fear of going against her duties. The divine royal sparkles that shone in her eyes were now clouded by the rain, of the hidden words she’s stopped herself from saying for who knows how long now.

And it pained him, enough to drive him to insolence, and he wouldn’t bemoan her if she thought to have him banished on the spot for it.

“What has you feeling so downcast, your majesty?”

His question sends panic rippling down her spine, and for a moment the queen gasps as she turns her head up to stare wide eyed at him. She thinks to shake her head furiously before flying away.. but caught in the headlights of his concerned, and frustratingly sincere gaze she gulps, and finally allows herself to frown.

It takes a lengthy silence, one accompanied by chirping and the distant chatters of the pixies, to be true.. but his attention is focused squarely on the lady, who places her palms on either sides of the porxies cheeks and narrows her eyes with a heart wrenching, upsetting look of defeat. And when she finally speaks, her voice no longer held the tone of a celebratory songbird, but like little windchimes, barely louder than a whisper as it rang amidst the drizzle.

“Do you happen to know where porxies came from, Alphinaud?”

The question causes his head to tilt curiously, and he answers with an honest ignorance.

“Are they.. not simply another type of fae?”

“Well... yes and no. They’re um... like you.” Illya strokes the porxies skin lovingly, as if in apology for speaking of it. But its beady eyes remain bright and naive as it looks up at its queen as if she meant the entire world to it. “They’re not fae born.. They were made into fae by a Titania.”

The queen closes her eyes, heaving a sigh through barely parted rosy lips.

“There was once a saying.. A figure of speech that I believe is of mortal origin.. but it was spoken by fae folk once too. ‘Iire beag roi’.. Referring to the concept of impossibilities.” Slowly Titania leans her head forward to nudge the porxies snout with her forehead, a sorrowful sign of affection before it sounds out a snort of delight and flutters away.

“Titania had a son - Ose Iala was his birth name.. But he always preferred the names of mortals far more than one of his fae. And he kept that fascination of mortals and the outside world even as he grew older, old enough to voice out his disdain for our rules against executing mortals who stepped inside Il Mheg soil.

‘The day mortals and fae will ever coexist is the day pigs will fly’, Titania did say with a mocking glare towards Ose Iala.. and the prince, in his fury towards his father’s stubborn intolerance, casted a spell upon a herd of pigs that wandered into Il Mheg from a farm in Lakeland.”

Alphinaud’s heart sinks into his stomach as he listens, expression awash with pity as he looks upon Titania tilting her head up to the sky, galaxy worn eyes tired and wary. And though he needn’t hear the rest of her words to know what.. or who exactly she was referring to, he allows her to pour what little bits of her caged heart she had the courage to share.

“My father.. He made the impossible possible, preached that there was no such thing as impossibilities to his people and told me the same when I was but a sprout who barely just learned to fly. And he made the impossibility of fae folk existing with mortals a beautiful, wonderful reality.”

Il Mheg has changed more within the past 3 generations than it did with the countless millenniums before then, for better or for worse.. The name of the Titania who brought about this tide of change was scorned by most of the fae kingdom and forgotten by the mortals who had seen Il Mheg as nothing but pools of gil and resources they could steal from.

But that was a cruelty and a despair that has wrongfully be thrust upon the Titania of the present - of the one who bears the heaviest burden of them all. For beneath the opulence of her glamorous, glittering dresses and the pristine gemstones upon her flowery tiara, she was but a young girl - a fae equivalent to a mortal of teenage age, who has lost family and freedom both. And above all else, the lonely little fairy was now shackled with duty, of her obligations to undo the mistakes Ose Iala had done to blemish their kingdom.

“And yet... despite the miracle I’ve been granted, I’m worthless as queen. I cannot save my people.” Her hands clench into fists, and blood drains from her knuckles and threatens to pour out of the cuts her nails leave as imprints upon her palms. “Forget Feo Sul, I...I’m not worthy of bearing the mortal name Illya either.”

Alphinaud mutters her name beneath his breath, and the sweetness that is left on the tip of his tongue as he does causes his heart to skip a beat. Feo Sul. The flower of treasures. Despite what Titania might say, the young scholar knows better than any other that her name fits perfectly better than any other fae or mortal he might ever meet.

“But you have saved your people. The fae are able to find hope to renew Il Mheg because of you.” With a furrowed brow, Alphinaud hovers forward, daring himself to lift his hand and rest over clenched fists.

“Elletha tells me of how much you work to keep the infirmary running, casting your magics so hard that the palms of your hands would start burning and she’d have to stop you. I’ve heard from so many pixies that the fairy that appears at night, Lunya... she was once a mortal that you saved from death despite her being a plunderer.” His words at once cause her eyes to water, but also soothes the tension in her hands, and she finds her fingers relaxing against his reassuring grasp.

“And Laurelis.. Whenever I speak to her, she wouldn’t stop talking about you! About how you sacrificed some of your own royal blood to feed the soil of Timh Gyeus on the first day after your coronation so that flowers would bloom again.. Or how you dove head first into the longmirror lake to rid the waters of the litter and oil.”

“A-Alphinaud.. P-please-”

“Or how you caught frost on your wings as you dug through the snowy mountains for a week looking for tsasan setgel.. Or the way you ripped the cursed thorns the Fuath had grown around the pillars of Lyhe Ghiah as a prank with your own bare hands because you could not bear the thought of having anyone else do so! ”

His hand tightens its hold, fingers laced and intertwined with the gaps of her own as he moves closer and raises his voice. So that she will hear him, so that she will listen, and face the reality of her own kind deeds even if she’d refused to thus far.

“You’re the miracle Il Mheg needed. The fact that you yet stand, strong and tall as you are despite everything you’ve been through, that is a miracle above all others.”

The tears that trickle down her cheeks and falls off her chin glisten as little gems, reflecting off the rays of the morning sun with a rainbow hue that he feels tempted to catch with his fingers, were they not occupied with holding hers. And the tiny panic he feels in his beating heart dissipates as when she sniffs, and forces a glowing smile upon her face.

“ Iire beag roi.. How silly a notion, I’m nothing of the sort.”

And Alphinaud smiles back, eyes narrowing as he feels her fingers wrap around his in return.

“ gu dearbh. Pigs already fly, remember?”

#ffxiv #ffxivwrite2020 #ffxivwrite #alphinaud leveilleur #illya skawi #alphinaud #we've come so far #fanfic #mine #fairy au #fairy queen au #kiwisffxivwrite2020 #wow who still remembers this au #of course! nobody!

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frmartinshomiliesandreflections · 3 years

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21st March >> Fr. Martin’s Gospel Reflections / Homilies on John 12:20-33 for The Fifth Sunday of Lent, Cycle B: ‘We would like to see Jesus’.

Fifth Sunday of Lent, Cycle B

Gospel (Except USA)

John 12:20-33

If a grain of wheat falls on the ground and dies, it yields a rich harvest

Among those who went up to worship at the festival were some Greeks. These approached Philip, who came from Bethsaida in Galilee, and put this request to him, ‘Sir, we should like to see Jesus.’ Philip went to tell Andrew, and Andrew and Philip together went to tell Jesus. Jesus replied to them:

‘Now the hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you, most solemnly, unless a wheat grain falls on the ground and dies, it remains only a single grain; but if it dies, it yields a rich harvest. Anyone who loves his life loses it; anyone who hates his life in this world will keep it for the eternal life. If a man serves me, he must follow me, wherever I am, my servant will be there too. If anyone serves me, my Father will honour him. Now my soul is troubled. What shall I say: Father, save me from this hour? But it was for this very reason that I have come to this hour. Father, glorify your name!’

A voice came from heaven, ‘I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.’ People standing by, who heard this, said it was a clap of thunder; others said, ‘It was an angel speaking to him.’ Jesus answered, ‘It was not for my sake that this voice came, but for yours.

‘Now sentence is being passed on this world; now the prince of this world is to be overthrown. And when I am lifted up from the earth, I shall draw all men to myself.’

By these words he indicated the kind of death he would die.

Gospel (USA)

John 12:20–33

If a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it produces much fruit.

Some Greeks who had come to worship at the Passover Feast came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and asked him, “Sir, we would like to see Jesus.” Philip went and told Andrew; then Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus. Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Amen, amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there also will my servant be. The Father will honor whoever serves me.

“I am troubled now. Yet what should I say, ‘Father, save me from this hour’? But it was for this purpose that I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name.” Then a voice came from heaven, “I have glorified it and will glorify it again.” The crowd there heard it and said it was thunder; but others said, “An angel has spoken to him.” Jesus answered and said, “This voice did not come for my sake but for yours. Now is the time of judgment on this world; now the ruler of this world will be driven out. And when I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw everyone to myself.” He said this indicating the kind of death he would die.

Reflections (6)

(i) Fifth Sunday of Lent

I came across a story in a book that caught my attention. A distinguished citizen came to a Zen Master, seeking the meaning of life. The visitor began to tell the Zen Master all about his ideas, his achievements, his interests. As he continued his hymn of praise to himself, the Zen Master graciously placed a beautiful cup in front of his guest and began filling it with tea. Even after the cup was filled, he continued to pour tea into it. The distinguished visitor quickly moved away from the overflowing cup, saying to the Zen Master, ‘The cup is overflowing! No more will go in!’ The Zen Master replied, ‘Like this cup, you are overflowing with your own opinions and achievements. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?’

The wisdom expressed in that story finds expression in our gospel reading today in a different form. Jesus proclaims the paradoxical wisdom of self-emptying in order to become full, of dying so that we may be raised to new life, ‘Unless a grain falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single grain; but if it dies it yields a rich harvest… Anyone who loves his life loses it; anyone who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life’. The language of hating our life in this world jars with us. Yet, it is a way of speaking for emphasis and is not to be taken literally. Elsewhere Jesus calls on us to love our neighbour as we love ourselves. There is a healthy, wholesome, love of self which is the foundation for the love of God and love of others. Jesus is warning against an excessive love of self, the kind of over-valuing of our achievements, our gifts and abilities, which stunts our growth as human beings made in God’s image and likeness.

When a grain of wheat is dropped into the earth, the seed shrinks, ‘empties’ itself and dies. Yet, in the warmth and moisture of the earth new life breaks out of the husk and yields a rich harvest. The grain of wheat is an image of Jesus. Saint Paul says of Jesus that he ‘emptied himself, taking the form of a servant’. He emptied himself in loving service of God and of humanity. He continued down this path of self-emptying love of others, even when it became clear that it would cost him his life. As Paul says, ‘he emptied himself… becoming obedient unto death, even death on a cross’. In today’s gospel reading, Jesus is aware that the hour is at hand when, like the grain of wheat, he will be buried in the heart of the earth. He stands to lose everything. It is clear from the gospel reading that the prospect of such loss troubles him deeply. He is tempted to pray, ‘Father, save me from this hour!’ Yet, he comes through this struggle and remains faithful to his love-inspired mission, like the good shepherd who loves his flock so deeply that he is prepared to lay down his life for them. His ultimate self-emptying on the cross yields a rich harvest. It reveals the depth of his love for us all and the extent of God the Father’s love for the world. In the light of the resurrection, the cross is seen to be an explosion of divine love, which is why Jesus can say in the gospel reading, ‘When I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all people to myself’. As Jesus hung from the cross, Pilate declared him a king in mockery, ‘Jesus of Nazareth, king of the Jews’. Yet, this mocking title proclaimed a great truth. Jesus was a king, but his kingdom was not based on force of arms but on the drawing power of love. Jesus lifted up on the cross, lifted up in glory, continues to draw people to himself. In drawing us to himself, he draws us into a sharing in his own risen life. His dying was life-giving, not only for himself, but for all who turn to him in faith.

If the grain of wheat which falls to the ground and dies and in dying yields a rich harvest is an image of Jesus, it is also an image of his followers. ‘If anyone serves me, they must follow me’. Following the Lord will always involve an element of self-emptying, of dying to ourselves out of love for others. The image of the wheat grain invites us to ask, ‘What within me needs to die so that I may live more fully with the life of the Lord, so that I may love more fully with his love?’ For us as followers of the risen Lord, the moment of death is the final self-emptying that yields a rich harvest. It is the ultimate letting go that opens us up to a wonderful encounter with the Lord of love who finally and fully draws us to himself. As we journey towards that final moment of letting go, the Lord calls us daily to empty ourselves in love for others, to die to our self-centeredness in the service of the Lord and his people. As we respond to that call of the Lord, we will begin to experience something of that fullness of life which awaits us beyond death.

And/Or

(ii) Fifth Sunday of Lent

Martin Luther King once wrote about a time when he knelt down in prayer at the kitchen table in his home in Alabama. A hail of stones had just come through the window because of his advocacy of civil rights for black people. His wife and children were in danger. He had already become a highly qualified academic by then, and a promising career lay ahead. In prayer he found himself asking, ‘Do I really need this additional worry and danger?’ It was in that prayerful moment that he decided to put the will of God and the welfare of others before his own security and that of his family. He chose to let go of an easier path in order to serve God by working on behalf of those who were most oppressed. In a sense, he chose to die so that others might have life. His life is a striking example of the image that Jesus uses in the gospel reading, the grain of wheat that falls into the ground and dies, and in dying yields a rich harvest.

Jesus himself was the supreme expression of that image. He is the grain of wheat that falls to the ground and dies, and in dying yields a rich harvest. He refers to that harvest towards the end of today’s gospel reading: ‘When I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all people to myself’. God worked powerfully through the life of Jesus, and God worked even more powerfully through the death of Jesus. Jesus’ death reveals the power of God’s love in an even fuller way than his life did, and this love, revealed in the death of Jesus, drew people to God, and continues to do so. Many people over the centuries, looking upon the crucifix, have experienced God’s love for them, and have found themselves drawn to God in some way, because of the crucifix. In choosing to accept the loss of so much that was dear to him, in particular, his vibrant life, Jesus drew people to himself and, thereby, to a sharing in God’s life. That moment in his life when Jesus chose such a significant loss out of love for us all is well expressed in this morning’s gospel reading, ‘What shall I say? Save me from this hour. No, it was for this very reason I have come to this hour’.

In these spring days we may find ourselves sowing some seeds in the garden. The seed that dies in order to yield a new form of life is as familiar to us today as it was in the days of Jesus. The seed has to shed its husk so that the potential for new life it carries within itself can be realized. The loss of the husk is a necessary loss if the seed is to realize its destiny. This phenomenon of nature can speak to our own experience as much as it did to the experience of Jesus. Jesus recognized that the loss of his life was a necessary loss if he was to remain faithful to his mission, and, thereby, realize his destiny. Each of us in different ways can be called upon to choose some significant loss if we are to remain true to our deepest and best self, true to what God is asking of us. We can find ourselves at a crossroads, as Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane, as Martin Luther King did in the kitchen of his home. At such crossroads we can either choose some loss for the sake of a greater good, or hold on to some reality that is good in itself but that prevents us from taking the path that God is asking us to take, that others need us to take. There are many such crossroads on the journey of life. Whenever we choose some loss for ourselves so that others might live, we are following in the way of the Lord, and a harvest will come from it.

Then there are other losses in life that we do not choose, but that are forced upon us. These are losses we have no choice but to accept. Jesus’ disciples had no choice but to accept the loss of Jesus on Good Friday; their loss flowed from the choice Jesus made. We often have to accept the loss of people we love and care about because of the choices they make. Parents may not wish to see a son or daughter go abroad to live and work, but they accept that as a necessary loss, because they respect the choice made by the one they love. Many of the necessary losses we have to accept in life arise from the choices others make. In accepting those losses, in letting go of those we love, we often find them again in a fuller and richer way, as Jesus’ disciples received him again in a richer way through his resurrection from the dead and the sending of the Spirit.

There are other, more demanding, losses we do not choose but have no choice but to accept. The loss we experience because of the death of a loved one comes to mind. The acceptance of such a loss only comes with great struggle. Then, for each of us, there is the final and unavoidable struggle to let go of our own earthly lives, with all the loss that is entailed in that. As we face all these inevitable losses that are an integral part of life, we are strengthened by the words of Jesus in today’s gospel reading, ‘When I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all people to myself’. We trust and we believe that, at the end of the day, after we have struggled with all our losses, the Lord will draw us to himself, and, when that happens, we will lack nothing.

And/Or

(iii) Fifth Sunday of Lent

We can ourselves faced with the prospect of doing something which we know is worth doing but which we also know is going to make demands on us. Faced with that kind of a situation we can experience something of a struggle within us. In our heart of hearts we want to do this worthwhile task and, yet, at another level we do not want to do it. Invariably, if we overcome our resistance and follow through on our good intention, we will feel afterwards that we did the right thing. It is probably true to say that we experience that kind of a struggle several times a week. As well as those daily struggles that are part of life, we may find ourselves engaged in a more fundamental struggle, where the future direction of our lives is at stake. I am thinking of those moments in our lives when we have a really important decision to make, and how we make it has enormous consequences for ourselves and for others. The right decision can often be the more difficult one, and the struggle in making it can be great indeed.

In today’s gospel reading we find Jesus in just such a significant moment of decision. The hour when he has to leave this world is drawing near. The journey from this world to the Father will be painful and traumatic. As he faces into this hour, he asks aloud the question, ‘What shall I say?’ There are two possible answers to that question. He could ask the Father to preserve him from the hour and all that it entails, ‘Father, save me from this hour’. Alternatively, he could ask the Father to be present to him as he heads into his hour. This in fact is the prayer he makes at this crucial moment in his life, ‘Father, glorify your name’. Rather than the focus of his prayer being on himself, ‘save me’, the focus of his prayer is on God, ‘glorify your name’. Rather than putting what he wants at the centre of his prayer, he puts what God wants to the fore. With the prayer, ‘Father, glorify your name’, Jesus commits himself anew to doing the work that the Father has given him, with all its consequences.

That question of Jesus, ‘What shall I say?’ or some version of it can be a question that we find ourselves asking too. ‘What shall I do? What path will I take?’ Jesus took the path that God wanted him to take That path involved a dying but it was a path that was ultimately life-giving, not only for himself but for all humanity. In our own lives, taking the path that God would want us to take will often involve some kind of dying for us, such as dying to our own comfort and convenience, letting go of the plans that we have for ourselves. This can take very ordinary forms. We get a phone call from someone who needs to talk to us, just as we are about to sit down and watch our favourite television programme. Someone asks us to visit them, and the only opportunity we have for doing that is Saturday afternoon when we would normally take it easy. A call for help goes out in regard to some issue and we know that we have the time and the ability to respond, but we also know that if we do so it will make demands on us. The strong temptation is to pray, ‘Father, save me from this hour’, to try and preserve ourselves, to protect ourselves. Yet, today’s gospel makes a strong declaration that if we invest energy in trying to preserve ourselves, we will loose ourselves. ‘Anyone who loves his life looses it’. If, on the contrary, we give ourselves away, we will find life. It is the grain of wheat that falls to the earth and dies that bears much fruit.

We are only a week away from Holy Week. During Holy Week we remember Jesus’ readiness to fall to the ground and die for our sakes. As we contemplate his dying for us, we may find ourselves drawn to him. Jesus says in today’s gospel reading, ‘when I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all people to myself’. It is in allowing ourselves to be drawn to him that we will find the strength to take the path that he took, the path of self-giving that leads to fullness of life. It is only our union with Christ which will empower us to take this path. Every day we invite the Lord to draw us to himself, so that we too can become the grain that falls to the ground and dies, and in dying bears much fruit.

And/Or

(iv) Fifth Sunday of Lent

The lead singer of a legendary pop group from the 60’s died a few years ago. The name of the group was the Monkies and they were big in the United States. Those of a certain age might remember them. They were probably as big in the US as the Beatles were in England. Both of those groups had and still have a huge following; at their peak they drew very large numbers of young people to themselves. There have been many other singing groups since then who drew large crowds of people whenever they performed. It is not only singing groups who draw crowds. Football teams draw huge crowds to their matches. Indeed many Irish people get on a plane early on Saturday morning to fly over to Liverpool, Manchester, Newcastle, London, or wherever to watch their favourite team. Huge crowds will be drawn to Croke Park in the coming months up to September to watch the championship matches in football and hurling. There have always been individuals and groups of people who have had the ability to draw large crowds.

At the very end of this morning’s gospel reading Jesus says of himself, ‘when I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all people to myself’. It is one of the sayings of Jesus in the gospels that has always struck me. Jesus speaks there of the drawing power he will have when he is lifted up from the earth. In John’s gospel, from which our gospel reading is taken, when Jesus speaks of himself as one who will be lifted up from the earth, he is referring to both his death and his resurrection and ascension. He will be lifted up on the cross and he will be lifted up in glory. In John’s gospel there is a sense in which both of those moments of lifting up are one moment. When Jesus is lifted up on the cross, he is at the same time being lifted up in glory, because on the cross Jesus reveals God’s glory, the glorious presence of God who is love. Jesus declares in our gospel reading that when he is lifted up from the earth, he will draw all people to himself. The drawing power of Jesus on the cross is the drawing power of a divine love. Authentic love always draws us; it attracts. There is no more authentic love than God’s love revealed in Jesus when he is lifted up on the cross and in glory. That is why the crucified and risen Jesus has been drawing people to himself for over two thousand years and will continue to do so for the next two thousand years. We are drawn to Jesus lifted up from the earth because we experience there a love which is stronger than sin and death, a love which assures us of our worth, and holds out to us an eternal destiny beyond death. If we allow that love to enter within us we will be inspired and empowered to love as we have been loved. Jesus lifted up from the earth, Jesus on the cross, has always drawn people of faith. The liturgies of Good Friday are always very well attended. It is not that as Christians we are in love with suffering. It is just that we sense that the lifting up of Jesus has in some profound sense lifted us all up.

In this morning’s gospel reading Jesus speaks of his forthcoming death using a very different set of words to the language of being lifted up. He speaks of the grain of wheat which falls into the earth and dies and in dying yields a rich harvest. He himself was the grain of wheat which fell into the earth and died and his death yielded a rich harvest for all of us. We are all part of the harvest of his death. His death was life-giving for himself and for us all. That is why we find ourselves looking upon Jesus lifted up from the earth, on the cross and in glory. Later on in John’s gospel Jesus says of himself, ‘no one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends’. In being lifted up from the earth, Jesus was laying down his life for all of us, for each one of us; he was drawing us into his friendship. We look upon the cross because we sense that no one has ever befriended us or could ever befriend us in such a complete way. This is the harvest which has come from the grain of wheat falling to the ground and dying.

This being lifted up from the earth, this falling to the ground and dying, did not come easy to Jesus. We can sense that from this morning’s gospel reading. ‘Now my soul is troubled’, he says, and he is tempted to pray, ‘Father, save me from this hour’. His love for us was a costly love. All authentic human love is costly. In giving ourselves away to another in love we leave ourselves vulnerable to suffering and brokenness. Yet, this is the path Jesus took; it is the path we are all called to take as his followers. In the words of the gospel reading, ‘if anyone serves me, he must follow me’. The path of self-emptying love is ultimately the path that leads to life, a full life here and now and eternal life beyond death.

And/Or

(v) Fifth Sunday of Lent

We probably all have a wish list of things we would like to do before we die, or, perhaps people we would like to meet. If we were given a blank sheet of paper with the words ‘I wish...’ at the top and asked to fill it in, we would likely all come up with a different list, although there might be some elements in common. What we would have in common would probably be the more important, deeper, realities of life, such as health, peace of mind, loving relationships, happiness for oneself and one’s loved ones. As people of faith we might include on our blank page some expression of our religious longings. We might wish for a deeper experience of the Lord’s love and forgiveness in our lives or for greater clarity as to what the Lord is asking of us or desires for us.

At the beginning of this morning’s gospel reading we are introduced to two people who approach one of the disciples of Jesus and express their wish in a very simple way, ‘We should like to see Jesus’. They are described as ‘Greeks’. In saying to Philip ‘We want to see Jesus’, they are giving expression to their deeper religious longings. No matter where we are on our own faith journey, there is a sense in which we can always say, ‘we want to see Jesus’. Those two Greeks were at the very beginning of their faith journey as followers of Jesus. Yet, their wish is appropriate for every stage of the journey. When it comes to the Lord, there is always more to be seen. When it comes to our relationship with the Lord, there is always room for growth. Saint Paul was one of the few people in the New Testament who had seen the risen Lord. Writing to the church in Corinth, he says, ‘Have I not seen Jesus our Lord?’ Yet in that same letter, he acknowledges, ‘now, we see as in a mirror dimly; but then we will see face to face’. In that eternal moment beyond this earthly life we will see the Lord clearly, face to face. Now, we see dimly, and so we can always say, ‘I want to see Jesus’, ‘I want to see him more clearly’. In his letter to the Philippians, Paul gives expression to this wish, this longing to see the Lord more clearly, when he says, ‘I want to know Christ’. We might be tempted to say to him, ‘Surely, you already know Christ’. He would reply to us, quoting again his letter to the Corinthians, ‘Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known’. It is only ‘then’ beyond this earthly life that we will know the Lord fully, will see him clearly. Until then, we are among the Greeks in today’s gospel reading who say, ‘We want to see Jesus’.

It is striking that the two Greeks did not approach Jesus directly. They approached one of Jesus’ disciples, Philip, who in turn went to Andrew and then, together, they went to Jesus with the request of the Greeks. The two disciples, Philip and Andrew, served as mediators between the Greeks and Jesus. These two disciples made it possible for the two Greeks to see Jesus. This is as true today as it was in the time of Jesus. We come to the Lord through each other. We are called to bring each other to the Lord, to help one another to see Jesus. In our faith life, in our search for Jesus, we are intimately bound up with one another. Parents help their children to see Jesus by teaching them to pray, bringing them to the church, reading passages from the gospels to them. Children, in turn, can bring their parents, and all of us, to see Jesus. Their unselfconscious desire to know the Lord, their openness to prayer and the world of the spirit, can touch us deeply, and even awaken some faith in us that has been dormant for some time. When it comes to our faith, we are all struggling to see; we are all a little blind and we need others to show us and to guide us.

If at the beginning of today’s gospel reading we have two Greeks wanting to see Jesus, at the end of that reading we have those wonderful words of Jesus, ‘When I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all people to myself’. Jesus declares there that when he is lifted up on the cross and lifted up in glory, he will be revealing his love for us and that love will draw us to himself. The one whom we wish to see is not playing hide and seek with us. Rather, he is constantly drawing us to himself in love. He is the grain of wheat that falls into the earth and dies and in dying bears much fruit. His dying is an explosion of love that envelopes us and brings to pass our wish to see him more clearly.

And/Or

(vi) Fifth Sunday of Lent

Martin Luther King once wrote about a time when he knelt down in prayer at the kitchen table in his home in Alabama. A hail of stones had just come through the window because of his advocacy of civil rights for all. His wife and children were in danger. He had already become a highly qualified academic by then, and a promising career lay ahead. In prayer he found himself asking, ‘Do I really need this additional worry and danger?’ It was in that prayerful moment that he decided to put what he believed to be the will of God, which was the welfare of the most vulnerable, before his own security and that of his family. He would suffer a great loss for the sake of others. In a sense, he chose to risk death so that others might have a more humane life. His life is a striking example of the image that Jesus uses in the gospel reading, the grain of wheat that falls into the ground and dies, and in dying yields a rich harvest.

Jesus himself was the supreme expression of that image. He, more than anyone, is the grain of wheat that falls to the ground and dies, and in dying yields a rich harvest. He refers to that harvest which springs from his dying towards the end of today’s gospel reading: ‘When I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all people to myself’. Jesus is declaring that God who worked powerfully through his life, would work even more powerfully through his death. His death would reveal the power of God’s love for us in an even fuller way than his life had done. God’s love, revealed in Jesus’ death, would draw people to Jesus. Many people over the centuries, looking upon the crucifix, have experienced the strength of God’s love for them, and have found themselves drawn to Jesus, and through him, to God. Roman crucifixion was a degrading form of execution. Yet, the first believers, in the light of the resurrection, came to recognize Christ crucified as the fullest human expression of God’s love for humanity. In the words of Paul’s letter to the Romans, ‘God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners, Christ died for us’. This explosion of God’s love on Calvary was the rich harvest that came from the death of Jesus.

Yet, the gospels suggest that becoming the grain of wheat that dies so that others might be touched by God’s life-giving love did not come easy to Jesus. It was a struggle to accept the loss of so much that was dear to him, in particular, his vibrant life, just as it was a struggle for Martin Luther King. Something of Jesus’ struggle comes through in today’s gospel reading. He is tempted to pray to God, ‘What shall I say? Save me from this hour’. In the other gospels, Jesus prays in the Garden of Gethsemane, ‘Take this cup from me’. Yet, he went on to choose this great loss out of love for all of us. In the words of Jesus’ prayer in today’s gospel reading, ‘It was for this very reason that I have come to this hour’.

In these spring days we may find ourselves sowing some seeds in the garden. The seed that dies in order to yield a new form of life is as familiar to us today as it was in the time of Jesus. The seed has to shed its husk so that the potential for new life it carries within itself can be realized. The loss of the husk is a necessary loss if the seed is to realize its potential. This phenomenon of nature can speak to our own experience as much as it did to the experience of Jesus. Jesus recognized that the loss of his life was a necessary loss if he was to remain faithful to his mission of revealing God’s love to a broken world. Each of us can be called upon to choose some significant loss so as to remain true to what God is asking of us. We can find ourselves at a crossroads, as Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane, as Martin Luther King did in the kitchen of his home. These are times when we sense a calling to risk some significant loss out of love for others, so that others, especially the most vulnerable, may have a fuller life. When we sense such a calling, we can be tempted, as Jesus was, to pray, ‘Save me from this hour’. However, whenever we choose some loss for ourselves out of love for others, we are sowing the seeds of a rich harvest. In the words of the gospel reading, we will be serving the Lord, sharing in his loving and life-giving mission. The Lord does not ask us to take this more difficult path, relying only on our own resources. We need to allow the Lord to keep drawing us to himself, so that we can draw strength from him. It is the strength we get from the Lord that allows us to keep taking the path of self-emptying love. Again, in the words of Saint Paul, ‘I can do all things through him who gives me strength’.

Fr. Martin Hogan.

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