#The dude and I have been working on bags and we messed up putting in a needle on one of the sewing machines because I'm an idiot first lol
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Saturday Six (Stuff)
There's white bullshite (aka snow) falling, and we hates it.(¬д¬。)
My cat lady customer was very sweet, and paid full price for a mix up that happened years ago, but took her forever to get back to me about getting it done, so eff yeah! o((*^▽^*))o
Mr Boots kitty is having a hard time with the new pine pellet cat box, so we have to compromise and hide it in the old covered box, and see how that works. (^・ω・^ )
Idk if I'm happy or sad that I'm not going to be decorate for Xmas.（’-’*)
My Dude (@super-ultra-mega-kami-guru-blog) and I have concluded that we can be bumbling idiots. Lol... Like we're both smart, but damn are we forgetful and, just plain dumb sometimes. It's like we're related or something lol. ＼(^▽^＠)ノ
It's seasonal depression time, which means I'm back on watching comfort shows/movies, and barely any new stuff. But I have a ton on my list. Ugh.ヾ(*´ー`)ノ
#Saturday Six#December 2 2023#Personal#About me#Please do not rebloggle#Carey rambles about life and stuff and things and work#The dude and I have been working on bags and we messed up putting in a needle on one of the sewing machines because I'm an idiot first lol#And we forgot where we put the snow shovel - BTW it's at my parent's not in storage ugh#Mr Boots needs privacy to poop - as we all doo doo lol#So yeah he's been pottying out in the living room which makes me upset too#So we're gonna try this thing out#I need my buddy Mr Boots back and not mad with me for being mad with him lol#ok enough rambling#Thank you all for reading my nonsensical rambles whenever I post them#I appreciate y'all so much#Have a great day or night wherever you are#HUGSSS from mom or just a friend whatever you need right now - because I need them tooooo! ٩(๑•◡-๑)۶ⒽⓤⒼ❤#٩(๑•◡-๑)۶ⒽⓤⒼ❤#💜💙💚💛❤️💗💕💖#now back to your regularly scheduled programming
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Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt.4
[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3][Pt.5][Pt.6][Pt.7]
Danny was sitting in the back, his backpack obnoxiously taking up the seat next to him, when the door to the lecture hall creaked open near silently.
“What are you in here for?” Danny asked the guy who crept into class. He sympathetically took his backpack off the Seat of Shame and allowed the guy to sit down. Funnily enough, they had the same hair and eye color.
“Gen Ed. Undecided. You?” The guy grunted quietly back.
“Environmental studies. I’m Danny.”
“Tim.”
With the implicit understanding of two people in a required class they could not give less than two fucks about, Tim and Danny tuned back into the lecture. When the class was assigned group work, Danny looked over to see Tim softly snoring, head slammed down on the table.
“Tim. Wake up, dude.” Danny poked his shoulder.
“Huh? Class over?”
“Nah, we got group work. Discussion board.”
“Oh shit, thanks for waking me up. Wanna team up?”
Danny shrugged. “Sure. We should aim to post it in the middle so the professor doesn’t read our answers to the class.”
“Yeah, sounds like a good idea. Any idea what we’re talking about?”
“Kind of?”
“Good enough for me.”
——
Tim Drake kept seeing Danny Fenton around on campus.
“Danny! Dude, what are you doing?”
Danny turned, gloved hands full of crumpled trash. “Picking up after the student population, apparently.”
“Didn’t think environmental studies was that serious.”
“Global warming is very serious, you jerk,” Danny smirked at him, crossing the grass to put the trash into the trash can. “Reduce, reuse, oil shouldn’t be spilled in water and all that.”
“Basic stuff,” Tim grinned. Nice, he basically had a friend past Bernard now!
They were friends, right?
“And yet humanity fails to comprehend it. Incredible. Incredibly stupid that is.”
“They get it. Major corporations just don’t care.”
Danny sighed. “True that. You on your way to your next class?” He took off his biodegradable gloves off (nitrile and nylon, baby!) and chucked them into the trash.
“I’ve got free time, actually. Prof cancelled for his daughter’s surgery.”
“Oh, shit, that’s rough! You wanna go downtown and join the strike?”
“A strike? What for?” Even as he asked, Tim hiked his bag higher onto his shoulder, ready to go. They fell into step as the two left campus.
“Apparently, Quillan Pharma was doing some shady shit at their manufacturing plants. I think it’s like killing kids, and pouring toxins into the ground.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Yeah. Oh! Poison Ivy’s gonna be there!”
Tim blinked. He casted a sideways look at Danny. Sure he’s been here long enough to know… but it couldn’t hurt to check. “You know she’s an eco-terrorist, right?”
“Okay, but like… people suck sometimes. And all she’s asking for is like don’t kill the planet. And she doesn’t do that whole mind control thing too much anymore! The Sirens are so cool. Plus, one of my best friends at home might actually kill me if I don’t try to get her autograph. Poison Ivy is like, Sam’s personal hero.”
Tim snickered. “Yeah, okay. Mind if one of my friends join? His name’s Bernard.”
“The more the merrier,” Danny nodded. “Ooo! Hot chocolate. Want some?”
Danny bought three drinks as Tim trailed behind, texting Bernard.
“He said yes.”
“Cool! We should meet up somewhere before the drinks get cold.”
Well, Danny got the autograph. Tim got a new friend, and Bernard got a drink from his crush.
���—
“Oh, you’re the glowing dude that Batman always talks about!”
Danny blinked, eyes scanning the wing-like cape and the yellow emblem on the hero’s suit. Danny was indeed glowing, stars and nebulas freckling across neon green skin, and glowing hair the color of a white dwarf star, tinged with the blue from his ice core.
“I… have absolutely no idea who you are,” Danny lied, like a liar. He’s found a surprising niche of entertainment in messing with the local vigilantes and he’ll be damned if he missed this opportunity.
He heard a snicker from the comm lines as Red Robin visibly brushes it off.
“I’m Red Robin. Why are you picking up trash?”
“Picking up after you humans, apparently.”
The both of them blink, feeling a weird sense of déjà vu. A moment of awkward silence passed before they both shook it off.
“Are you here to help? No offense, but the track record for you people is terrible.” Danny strode over and grabbed a bag. He opened it, and shook it at Red Robin’s face. “See? Batarangs, these odd bird looking ones, the R’s. Seriously, pick up after yourselves!”
“Oh, woah, can we have these back?”
Danny yanked the bag back before Red Robin could get close. “Pay me. These were incredibly tedious to pick up. Especially the batarangs. I mean, I even found a whole bunch of old rusted ones in the middle of the bay. What did you do, dump an entire bag in there from the air?”
Red Robin sighed and took out a wad of cash, with tracking fluid all over it. Danny grimaced, smelling the odd scent on the money. “That’s not real cash. It smells off. Are you trying to give me counterfeits because you’re broke?”
Red Robin gaped, oddly offended. “No! They’re real!”
“Doesn’t smell like it. It’s stinkier than the trash. Go get the one with the money, the litterer. Tell him I’ll be back the next full moon. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” Danny grumbled, disappearing on the spot to watch Red Robin flounder with the stack of cash and the piles of dead bodies on the shore.
“What the fuck even is my life these days?” Red Robin wondered out loud, stuffing the cash back into his pocket. He looked over the plastic wrapped bodies and slumped, sighing.
Oddly enough, Danny felt a sense of sympathy. Well, he’s not getting paid for sympathy. He’s not getting paid at all tonight, actually. Danny flew off, plunging once more into the depths of the significantly cleaner waters, and used his ice to scoop out oil stains.
Danny glanced around and sighed. He had a lot of work to do.
——
“So you’re saying he’s like a werewolf mermaid fae child immortal god thing, right?”
Bruce grunted.
“B, what the hell are you smoking these days? You know drugs are bad, right? Do we need Superman to give you that PSA?” Jason snickered.
Tim, massaging his arms from having to haul an ungodly amount of dead bodies, grunted. He’s so similar to Bruce that it gave the people currently in the cave hives.
“He said full moon. I don’t think we can track him with regular stuff. The bugs kept shorting out.”
“Oh boy,” Dick sighed. “Don’t fall off the spiral cliff, Tim. You’ve got midterms to think about so no stalking the guy.”
“Yet,” Tim shot back, changing out of his suit.
Bruce grunted, setting aside a huge stack of cash.
#let Tim Drake go to college you cowards#he got his GED in this one boys#let Tim fucking age#danny phantom#batman#tim drake#dc x dp#dcxdp#dpxdc#danny the tired college student#bamf danny phantom#siren au???#sea cryptic Danny#bro I had war flashbacks to discussion board group work#terrible why do I do this to myself#the batarangs in the middle of the bay was from when Bruce tried to kill the joker and himself#Danny: people just can’t clean up after themselves these days#sea cryptic! danny au
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Park Cleanup Pet Peeves
I'll be starting my seasonal gig at Parks and Rec in a couple months and I've got a couple things I wanna say. I know that this will probably not reach the people who need to hear it, but if ONE LESS person leaves the parks a mess, I will be That Much Happier.
-You're not supposed to smoke, drink, or have sex in public parks but I know that people will anyway. But if you are going to do those things, please dispose of the evidence in the trash cans. A human has to pick these things up.
-Dog poop goes in a bag. Bag goes in the trash can.
-The little wax paper liners in the women's room? See you're supposed to put your pad/tampon in that wax paper bag, take the bag out of the bin, and then dispose of it in the actual trash can. Don't feel bad, no one told me either. Also no one told the dudes I work with. But this reduces direct exposure to bodily fluids, especially as the summer gets on and it gets hot in those bathrooms.
-On that subject! The little bins that they go in next to the toilet? Don't stick trash in there. Don't put diapers in there. Also don't put beer cans crushed in such a specific way that I slice my hand on them as I try to jimmy it out of there. Literally, that bin is too small for most things. They are meant specifically for those brown bags. Please for the love of god, throw things in the trash can.
-As for the urinals, please no solids. Most commonly gum and chewed tobacco, but you can use your imagination.
-If you're doing a photo shoot or an event with confetti, please use a paper confetti instead of a plastic one- its easier to get rid of.
-If you're doing a pizza party, we'd rather you stack the pizza boxes in a pile next to the trash can instead of trying to fit them in the trash. Because then we can just throw the trash bag over the top and tie it instead of trying to fish it out. This kind of goes for any big trash- if it won't fit in the trash can easily, don't try.
-Please don't call cops on people sleeping in the parks if they're not bothering anyone. Even if they've been sleeping there all day. Dude's just trying to chill.
-Destruction of the toilets will result in the indefinite locking of the restrooms. You ruined them and now everyone at the softball tournament can blame you for it.
-Parks people are not the police. We are maintenance workers who are not trained to handle most emergencies and the most we can do in any situation is report to the proper department. Please don't look to us for answers if someone is starting a fight.
-Also please don't spit on us for driving on the path. We're permitted to. Its essential for us to drive on the path to do our job.
-please don't abandon animals at the park. Rehome them properly. I spent a whole week trying to catch a rooster last summer.
-look, I get it- 'oh no, your pretty building has writing on it!' Grafitti is so edgy. We get it. But it means Jacob has to sand it off now so that the kids at the birthday party don't see a giant drawing of a weiner. Acts of rebellion that create more work for the working class are not revolutionary.
-please do not set fire to the Tiny Free Library. Why did you do that? That's mean.
-please do not feed bread to ducks and geese. Corn, birdseed, lettuce- those are better for them. If you want to reduce tge amount of goose poop in the parks, shop feeding them bread.
-also do not anger tge geese. They remember what its like to be dinosaurs.
I'll have more later, probably, once the season wears on.
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Maybanks sister
Series masterlist , previous chapter
Taglist- @cassie0sstuff @rafesgiirl @fals3-g0d @tiaamberxx @callsignwidow
Part 2, Chapter 2- a not so fun sleepover
Summary: it is just your luck at this point. You and Kiara get caught by some weird people in the Barbados after finally getting off ‘poguelandia.’ You’re trapped with your psycho ex. Again. For a second time.
After what felt like a year, finally, someone had come to rescue you guys.
Now, you guys had been saved. You were thankful for whoever this dude was for picking you guys up, thankful to get off this damn island already.
“I got a little guide out in Saint Vincent. I was spotting fish.” He told you guys as you sat down in his plane.
“What were you spotting?” You asked the man, curious.
“You know, the usual. Wahoo.”
You quirked an eyebrow, JJ also seemed confused as he turned to you.
“Wahoo? In September?” You whispered to JJ. He had the same confused look.
“That doesn’t make sense.” He whispered back.
“I’d hang on to something. Gets a little spicy on takeoff.”
“Wahoo doesn’t run in September. Like ever.” You told them all quietly. “Kinda wish it did, cause then we’d have been eating it…” you trailed off. “It tastes so good.”
“Yeah. So whoever this dude is, he’s not a fisherman.” JJ spoke.
“Maybe the run just starts earlier out here.” Pope shrugged.
You tilted your head to the side. “In the carribean? Unlikely. They usually-“
“No, I know what this is. He’s working for my dad. And he’s probably been looking for us the entire time.” Sarah cut you off, everyone turning to her now.
“All right, we gotta find out.” JJ said. “Just gotta look for clues…”
You tapped on JJs shoulder, and pointed to a bag on the back of his seat.
“Hey, Jimmy.” John B spoke, distracting the man while JJ slowly reached for the bag, taking it and rummaging through everything. He opened a book and found a picture, a picture of the coastal venture.
He handed it to Sarah.
“So he was looking for us?” Cleo said.
“Exactly.”
“He’s working for my dad.”
“I say we all jump off.” You pointed down. The plane shook suddenly, you all grabbing on.
“Hey, yall better hold something we got some unexpected turbulence up here.”
“Guys, whatever it is, it’s happening fast. Look.”
Everyone looked out the window, seeing some land.
“That looks like Barbados. I’ve been there with Terrence.”
“Okay.. there’s 7 of us, one of him. You know my vote, we storm the cockpit.” Jj told everyone.
“Idiot. None of us know how to fly a damn plane.” You hit him in the arm.
“I’ve seen pope fly simulators.”
“Yeah, and I’ve flown the fucking Death Star on Lego Star Wars, doesn’t mean I can fly.” You shrugged.
“Well do you have an idea?” He turned to you.
“Something safe..?”
“Why don’t we just wait until the plane lands somewhere safe, and then we sneak out. And if someone comes to mess with us, we mad dog them.” Pope spoke.
“Yeah. I like that way better.” You nodded.
“I like the mad-dogging part.” Jj tilted his head.
“Just put that back. Put it back. Be cool.” Kiara told JJ, John B distracting him again so JJ could put the stuff back into the bag.
“I’ve been going since I was 18-“ he spoke, and heard a sudden noise. JJ had been caught.
“Hey man! What the hell are you doing?” He turned to JJ, slapping him away. “That’s mine! That’s my book, give it back!”
“Fly the plane! Please fly the plane. Please fly the plane.” Sarah said, the plane shaking. You were knocked straight into Cleo who helped you sit back up quickly.
The plane crashed into the water as he struggled to get it up. Everyone screaming as they fell into the back, you all piling on top of each other. The plane filled with water.
“Is everybody good?” You asked them, everyone coughing.
“Jj, wake up, man we gotta get out.” you helped him get up. John B shoved open the door, multiple people coming over.
“Oh no. They don’t look friendly.”
“No, they look very unfriendly!”
“We gotta go, come on.”
They all got out.
“Kie, go!” You told her.
“I’m coming. Go!”
“I’m not leaving until you do.”
“Guys, get out before it sinks!” JJ told you both. Kiara looked at you and back behind you, at the man sinking.
You groaned when she began to swim over, you following.
“Come on, you gotta hurry!”
They all shouted out you both. You helped Kiara get through the plane and unbuckled the man, helping her carry him through the window.
The others were all swimming now.
“Come on guys, hurry up! Hurry up!”
“We got you.” Kiara panted to him, the man unconscious as you both carried him to shore.
“Wait, where are they?” Jj asked, turning around.
“You guys, where the fuck are they?”
“They went the other way.”
You both brought him up to shore, Kiara coughing as you brought her close to you.
“Thank you.” The man told you both, awake now.
“You lied to us. Who are you?” Kiara asked, an Atv interrupting him.
“Oh God. You should get out of here.”
You stood up, helping Kiara up and both of you running away from the men.
“Oh my God. Oh my God.” JJ mumbled, watching.
You both looked around, a car pulling up. You both hid by a boat, before getting caught.
“They’re over here!”
You punched a man square in the face who tried to grab Kiara, sweeping his leg and making him fall before another caught your arm. And another grabbing Kiara as you thrashed and screamed.
“Get off!” You shouted, they both dragged you guys into their trucks as you struggled.
“What… what are we gonna do?” JJ asked, teary eyes. “We’re going after them, right?”
“What… what can we do?” John B spoke.
“Where are they talking them?”
“They’re all right there, they’re looking this way we gotta go.” Cleo said and began to swam. The other followed but Jj stayed behind for a moment.
“JJ come on. We can’t save them if we get caught.”
“We lost the others. We’ll keep searching.” You heard a voice over the man’s radio.
Kiara stayed in the bed of the truck, you looked around for a moment before jumping out and before you could even tell her to get out, you were being shouted at.
You ran away, as far as you could. But that wasn’t very far before they caught you again, one of them punching you and knocking you down, your cheek falling right back onto the sand.
“Jesus, dude! I’m gonna have a black fucking eye!” You shouted, groaning as they threw you back into the truck.
“Worth a shot, I guess.” You shrugged when Kiara looked at you in shock.
The pilot came up to the truck.
“We saved your life.” Kiara whispered to him.
“I know. I know. I’m sorry. I’m gonna try to help you, okay? I swear, I didn’t know it was gonna be like this. Look, if you don’t fight, if you just do what they say, these guys probably… they probably won’t hurt you.”
“Probably?” You recoiled, making a face at him.
“What did Ward promise you?” Kiara asked.
“Who? Hey, just take my advice, do what they say. Good luck.”
The man got back in the truck.
“All right, let’s go.”
- - - - ᨳ꒰ ୨୧ ꒱ഒ - - - -
“Jesus, this dude is loaded.” You whispered to yourself when the truck drove up to the house. Kiara and you looked at each other worriedly as you were being walked in.
The house was huge, full of antiques and relics.
“Take them upstairs. The Orinoco room.” One women said, and you both were grabbed by the arm and dragged upstairs.
You shoved the dudes arm off you when you entered the room.
“Inside.”
“Why are we here? Who are you working for?”
“Dinner at eight. I’d clean up.”
“Just tell us what they want!-“ Kiara shouted, but the man shut the door in her face and the door locked.
“Great. This is fun. A little sleepover.”
Kiara looked out the window, and you looked at the dresses hanging up.
“At least they’ve got taste…?” You mumbled, flicking through the dresses. Two red dresses for each size.
“Pick your size.” The note read. You shrugged to yourself, grabbing one.
“Least it gets me out of these clothes.”
Later, the both of you were escorted downstairs.
“You know, this dress looks actually pretty good on me. Think they’ll let me keep it?” You asked Kiara when you walked downstairs, looking at yourself in a mirror.
“Why out of everyone to be stuck with did it have to be you?” She murmured.
“I’m offended. I think it’s a lot better than being struck with JJ. I’m just trying to lighten the mood.”
As you walked down and were directed into a room.
“Uh, excuse me?” Kiara said to a man, with a shaved head.
The man turned around, his eyes meeting yours first, his face falling.
“No, I knew you and Ward were behind this shit.” Kiara spoke, your mouth agape as you stared at him as in shock.
“What are you talking about? You guys trying to weasel in on my deal? Is that what’s going on?” He walked towards Kiara.
“No fucking way!” You shouted, turning on your heels, holding your hands up and beginning to walk out before a guard manhandled you inside, throwing you onto the floor. “Goddamnit!” You huffed.
“Is there like any other room I can be in? Specifically without him?” You asked the guard, before he slammed the door in your face.
“Seriously?” Rafe started. “You’re so fucking imm-“
“Yes, seriously! Last time I saw you was months ago, and you held a gun to my head and a knife to my throat! How am I immature?” You pointed at him, standing up and getting closer to him, shouting in his face now.
“I wondered if your little reunion would cause sparks, you know.” A man said. All of you turning to him now. He chuckled and turned.
“Who are you?” Rafe asked the man.
“Me? My name is Carlos Singh. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Cameron. And Ms. Carrera and l/n, I do apologize for the rough tactics of bringing you here.”
He turned his gaze to you.
“And I heard you’re a fighter. And a runner. Roughed up a few of my guys.” He chuckled. “All is forgiven. Please, come.” He motioned to the other room.
Kiara looked back at you.
“Sit down.”
Rafe looked at Kiara and at you, you sneered at him and walked behind Kiara, your arms crossed as you sat down on a chair.
“Rough tactics. What about me?” Rafe asked the man.
“Yes, Mr. Cameron. False pretenses. But, the ends justify the means, I’m afraid. Sit. Please.”
Rafe sat on a chair next to you, while you scooted over as far as you possibly could. He exhaled as he looked at you and back at the man.
“We have a lot to talk about.”
“Yeah, fucking right we do.” You scoffed, leaning back in the chair.
- - - - ᨳ꒰ ୨୧ ꒱ഒ - - - -
“Hey. Hey!” He shouted, hanging on the closed door and messing with the doorknob.
“Oh my God, yeah I’m gonna lock myself in the bathroom, do not disturb me.” You murmured as the man shut the door, Kiara grabbing your wrist and stopping you.
“If I have to deal with him, so do you.”
You groaned. “It’s locked, you dumbass.” You told him when he tried to continue to get it open. Kiara and you walked towards the window, he followed.
“Get off me, man!” Portis shouted.
“Who the hell is that guy?” Rafe asked, watching the man be dragged.
“We know him. It’s Jimmy Portis. He was trying to help us.” Kiara whispered. Singh looked at the window, pulling out a gun.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Rafe spoke, the man dissapearing in the back. All you could hear was the gun firing.
Rafe swallowed, Kiara panted, your mouth hung open in shock.
“This diary. Hey, no bullshit.” He turned to you, “don’t bullshit me. Do you guys have it?”
“I don’t know anything about a damn diary!” You told him. “You sure you don’t?”
“I think I would know if I fucking-“ he started.
“Kie?” You turned to her, voice hopeful. She shook her head.
“No.”
“Well, it’s official. We’re all dying together.” You said with a groan, running a hand over your face.
“Nobodies dying.” Rafe said, glancing at you.
“Yeah? What’s your bright idea then, buzz?” You asked, your arms crossed.
Ouch, went straight for the haircut.
#rafe cameron x you#obx rafe cameron#rafe cameron series#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x y/n#obx series#rafe obx#obx x reader#obx fanfiction#rafe fanfiction#rafe x you#rafe x reader
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Dealer! Ellie headcannon’s ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
dealer! ellie who’s your polar opposite. everyone was surprised when you two first came out. you’re sweet as honey and shy— outfits always a littlee skimpy. and ellie was… ellie. she loves it tho. loves having arm candy ♡
dealer! ellie who gets genuinely offended when you try to roll your own joints or even smoke without her. she’s such a baby about it. “what the fuck? where’d you get this shit from?” she picks up the tiny baggy with aggravation on her face. “well… you were busy els— and i’ve been stressed! y’cant be mad at me because you neglected me” you say with a small pout. “neglect—? ok ok. you’re not smoking this shit, man. how about this, i roll you a joint with my good shit and we can watch hello kitty island adventure—whatever the fuck and chill, kay?” safe to say ellie takes the ‘pretty girl’ discount seriously ♡
dealer! ellie who always rolls your joints in strawberry papers and bags your weed in cute baggies w hearts ♡
dealer! ellie who called you princess in a teasing way at first but it just…. stuck. ♡
dealer! ellie only lets you do her make up while she’s high as a kite. so now you’re here sitting on her lap putting mascara and eyeliner on her pretty red eyes. “els, stop moving. i’ll mess up” you stop and sit back to look at her while she smokes the last of her joint. “you’re lucky m’ letting you do this— how long does this take again? is this why you take so long to get ready?” you rolled your eyes as she rambled and she playfully pinches ur waist and smoothes her hand over. “done! “ you hand her a small mirror to look at your work. “cute. my lil’ picasso.” leaning in to give you a wet smooch that you dodge. “no kisses, you’ll ruin my work.” she huffs and sits up to effortlessly flip you over so she’s on top of you. you let out a girly squeal at the sudden change in position. “fuck that.” she says n’ then gives you wet, exaggerated kisses all over your pretty, giggly face ♡
dealer! ellie who does things because she knows it makes you nervous. she’ll take your cheeks in between her fingers and shotgun kiss you during the smoke sesh and chuckle at how you look at her w doe eyes:( or she’ll tease you in public— moving her hand a little too close to the warmth in between your thighs and pulling away when she hears your breath stutter. she can be so mean:( ♡
dealer! ellie who listens to 90s rap and r&b. also cannot fuck you without some r&b in the background. “sets the mood” she says. ♡
dealer! ellie who passes you the joint when fucking you:( “yea— yea. shit. you look so fucking good.” she pulls the joints from her mouth and blows the smoke away from your face. the way you cream around her strap makes her head fuzzier than weed could ever. “here— open up bun” she places the joint in between you lips and stares as you inhale— and eventually pull back to turn your head up to exhale. “mmh.” she gives a validating hum and smacks your ass— completely discarding the joint to kiss your red, pouty lips ♡
dealer! ellie who makes stupid jokes and conspiracies while high. “dude…. what do you think would happen if everyone farted at the exact same time. what if the world like— fuckin’— exploded or something.” “ellie.. what?” you cant contain your giggles at the auburn haired girls question. “what?? it’s a genuine question. what if all of our farts created a nuclear bomb. that’s kinda… scary. now i’m getting scared.” she said seriously— as if the made up situation could ever happen. “ellie.. that will never happen and i’m pretty sure your farts alone could create a nuclear bomb.” you joked back and giggled at her offended face. “okay…. you got me.” she’s so silly😭
dealer! ellie who only downloads social media so you can send her memes and things that remind you of her. her only instagram pics are scenery pics and pictures of you ♡
dealer! ellie who loves ass. that’s it. especially loves when you wear short skirts so when you bend down she can see your cute pink panties. sometimes she’ll pull your panties to the side and eat your pussy from the back till your knees are weak:( ♡
dealer! ellie who just loves her girl soo much!! you’ll often catch her staring at you and you get so shy— but all she’s thinking about is how lucky she is to have such a sweet girl like you belong to her and her only ♡
- ˚ʚ♡a ɞ˚
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Random Doctor Who hcs: Sleep (Doctor edition!)
Does 9 sleep? Like. Like does he actually sleep???
The answer is no.
“I don’t need to sleep I’m Time Lord.” he says with bags under his eyes.
Gets nightmares pretty often when he does sleep.
Will take short little nod offs in the console room.
Sleeps/relaxes in his leather jacket and jeans. Rose thinks this is so weird and gets on him for it all the time. She winds up buying him a soft jumper on some planet they stop at. He shows up in sweatpants and the jumper one day and rose and Jack just stare at him for a hot minute because he looks so wrong. “He looks so naked.” Nine gets so offended about it (they’re trying to say he looks fine but yeah they're laughing a bit). “You just look so…normal.” “Oi!” “No, no it’s not bad. S’ different.”
He actually learns how to relax a bit. He considers it a bit domestic, a lot domestic actually, and he looks so unintimidating in sweatpants but……maybe.
Ten. Oh Ten.
Dude got a pair of pajamas on his first day of being alive and has kept them ever since. They’re his favorite. He loves them so much that Rose has to take TenToo to go find a pair like them.
Stays up with Rose talking about the most random things. Rose listens as long as she is able before she falls asleep. Her favorite lullaby :)
Like 9, he’d rather be tinkering with the Tardis than sleeping so he mostly does that. But he has taken up reading. Twilight’s getting wild.
Has thought about asking to sleep with Rose. As in next to Rose. on the same bed. He immediately talked himself out of it.
Martha has to make him sleep. “You just got possessed by a sun go to bed!”
Generally sleeps less while Martha’s on board.
Gets bored and walks into Donna’s room to talk to her while Donna’s trying to go to bed. She indulges him sometimes but other times she just wants to go to bed.
Has fallen asleep during movie nights with Donna and has denied it.
Sleepovers with Donna.
Cuddles :)
Incredibly sleep deprived throughout the whole mess that is post-journey’s end. Like emotionally sleep deprived. Desperately in need of a nap.
11 HATES sleeping. Hates it. If he’s sleeping, he’s going to be still, and if he’s going to be still, he’ll start thinking and we can’t have that. So he just…doesn’t.
To keep himself occupied while traveling without Amy and Rory he tried going to sleep. It was a very bad, no good, horrible experience for him and he decided he just simply would never do that again. Hasn’t been in his room since.
Will nod off from time to time but will not go to bed. Rory gets a bit concerned but maybe this is normal for time lords. Who’s he to say?
Trying to put him to bed is like working with a fussy toddler. You will have to cajole and shove and push and bribe him and it will not work. Just give up.
Thinks pajamas look nice but has no need for them because he doesn’t sleep.
The experience with the Dream Lord was enough for him thanks.
12? Doesn’t sleep. Sleep is for the weak.
Absolutely falls asleep standing up.
Tries an energy drink once. Gets addicted. Is banned from energy drinks from now on.
He and Clara pull the worst all-nighters you’ve ever seen. Its fun for them.
Doesn’t own pajamas but he does own a really corny t-shirt Clara bought him that he would wear if he did sleep. But he doesn’t. So.
Fourteen NEEDS a nap. Desperately.
Is incredibly tired but has so much trouble going to sleep its unreal.
Will stay up stargazing or tinkering with things in the house that don’t need to be tinkered with. Takes apart every appliance in the house until Donna and Sylvia yell at him to stop.
Sleeps in an actual bed in an actual house because Donna made him. She was not about to have him sleep in the TARDIS.
Rose makes him a blanket fort in the living room.
She stuffs it full of stuffed animals and puts up fairy lights. “It’s bigger on the inside.”
It’s incredibly comfortable but unfortunately for every other member of the house it takes up a good chunk of space. (Rose and the Doctor do catch everyone getting a lot of use out of it though)
Lives in hand-me down pajamas until he can get his own but secretly loves the hand-me down pajamas
#i haven't met 13 yet#doctor who#doctor who headcanons#tenth doctor#ninth doctor#eleventh doctor#twelfth doctor#fourteenth doctor#timepetals#ninerose#tenrose
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Skz when you reveal to them that you used to be a stripper/pole dancer
Synopsis: Just some headcanons about boyfriend Skz. Reader is female
Warnings: Smut, fluff, suggestive. Seungmin's is comfort. Im sorry Changbin and Innie's are so short!
A/N: guys I'm telling you writing this was therapy. Im gonna try to do more headcanons because I like writing these a but more than I like writing actual fics! Anyway please enjoy this! And feel free to give feedback!
Bang Christopher Chan
He'd be ok with it. Like so chill. But I have a tingling that he'd remember it sometimes, and ask you about it, whenever he needs to release his frustration.
The front door slammed roughly against its edges, as your boyfriend Chan, walked in throwing his bag to the floor roughly. His gaze avoided yours, as he slumped down on your red couch and held his head in his hands, rubbing his temples slowly. It was definitely one of those days, when every melody in Chan's insomniac mind, seemed like boring mathematical figures instead of pretty flowing colours on a water filled palette. "Rough day baby?" You asked him, silently putting his dinner down on the table. He sighed quietly and started eating his dinner. Oh that's how he wanted to play is it? The silent treatment. Not wanting to unload his emotions on you because he felt guilty later on. You knew enough about this habit of his to know exactly what to do when exactly what to do. You smiled sweetly at him and disappeared into your shared bedroom.
Oh fuck did he mess up? Chan's thoughts were spinning through his head like an electron. Shit he should have talked to you. Chan got up and put his plate in the sink and grabbed two cupcakes from the fridge, which you both had made the day before (correction: felix made them you guys decorated them). "Babygirl? Where are you?" Chan got into the dark void which was your bedroom. Searching for the lights, Chan switched on the red party light you had in the bedroom. "Hey Channie." Chan's jaw dropped to the ground. There you were, wearing your old stripper uniform, Red devil horns and all, looking like the most expensive thing in the room. If Chan was an angel, he would definitely fall from heaven, just to be with your devilish form. "Baby, w-whats this?" Chan came forward as you grabbed his collar and shoved him into the bed. "Shh baby. Just enjoy it." You whispered in his ear, as you started your old dancing routine, while Chan watched on, silently asking the universe, why it hadn't shown you to him earlier.
Lee Minho
Dude. He'd be so fucking ecstatic that it's kinda scary. As a dancer himself, he would like the idea of having a partner who can dance as well as him (and maybe even better.) He would inculcate your steps in some of his dances and sometimes both of you would silently fuck in the studio.
"Jagiya I don't know what to add here." Minho was nudging your shoulder, while both of you stood in his personal dance room. The guys had left you all alone, since he had been stuck there since the morning, trying to figure out a choreo to the new slut anthem that 3Racha had made for DanceRacha (yes I am still not over taste). While Felix and Hyunjin had tried to help, they knew that the only person who could get Minho out of this dancer's block was you. You watched Minho's dance over and over again, trying to think of something good to add to it. "Min, how about you take a break baby? You're really tired and we all know your PaboRacha brain can't work on just water and orange juice. How about you eat some of the pudding I brought?" Minho looked at you with a pout, as you looked at him sternly. The pout wasn't going to work when you wanted your boyfriend to feel better and he didn't want to feel better. "Jagiya-" Minho began to whine as he wrapped his arms around your waist, trapping you in what was the best prison in the world. "How about we dance together for a bit hmm? Just a little duet?" "If I do this, will you eat and rest?" Minho was quick to nod his head, as you sighed and took off your jacket to reveal the lacy black bra you had on underneath. "I was going to surprise you with this when we get home. But since you wanted to dance, let's dance baby." Minho's entire world stopped. That was the bra he had gifted you, when you first told him you used to work in a gentlemen's club as a dancer. The slow, sensual music started as Minho slowly touched your waist and both of you moved your hips in syncronicity, the cotton of his shirt grinding against the lace of your bra. One step forward, then another to the side and then one lowering down to Minho's legs as he looked on, mesmerised. "God you're so fucking hot kitten. You never let any of them touch you at the club right?" You let out a hum in response to Minho's question as you noticed the bulge in his black trousers, which you began to unzip. "Good" he growled in your ear, as he nibbled it with his bunny teeth, "they shouldn't touch what's mine."
Seo Changbin
Oh my god, he would immediately question you about it so much. Like baby would be so curious about it. He'd buy you so much shit at Victoria's Secret or something, that you'd question why you ever told him about your old job.
"Baby baby that one!" Yet again, your boyfriend Changbin had rushed towards a shelf, while you stood in the huge (and expensive) Victoria's Secret store. Changbin had taken you here immediately after you told him you used to be a stripper and showed him your old costume. "Baby will this fit you?" He held up a lacy blue bodysuit, entwined with fake jewels. "Binnie, baby this is expensive." You looked at the price tag nervously. Changbin rolled his eyes and called the store worker. He handed her a card from his wallet, while saying "Whatever we buy goes on the black card." Rolling your eyes, you went over to the swimsuits, hoping to see something that you can surprise your boyfriend with.
Hwang Hyunjin
Two words. His muse.
"Jinnie how much longer?" You whined as you shifted a bit on the wooden stool, while Hyunjin sat in front of you, blue stained paintbrush in hand, star shaped eyes focused on the canvas in front of him. "Just a minute more, my muse. And could you move your hand to the left please?" He had been begging for you to let him paint you ever since he found your lingerie and you had to tell him about what you used to do before you became an architect. Of course you had said yes to him, after a week of begging and him trying to bribe you with food (spoiler alert: it worked). You donned your most favourite costume, a baby pink one, which was fluffy and had detachable angel wings. Perfect for Hyunjin. Perfect for the artist who used soft colours to paint those who he loved. "Hwang Hyunjin if you're not done in five minutes, the blood flow to my hand is going to stop and I'm going to die." Hyunjin looked at you, amusement all over his perfectly carved face. "Using the government name are we my muse? And I'm done already I was just looking at those nice little tits bouncing around in that costume." A smirk spread on his face, as you raised an eyebrow and carefully got down from the stool, walking towards his canvas. God he had painted you so pretty, with blues and pinks outlining your figure, a green cutting in for shade and flowers adorning your body. "You know my muse, I am an ambassador for Versace. I can't wait to get you the most prettiest scarves, which you can wear and fuck yourself. Maybe I can join you afterwards after I'm finished with my painting of this amazing fucking body." You smirked at him, taking the paintbrush away from his hand, slowly sliding into his lap and kissing him full on the mouth. Oh there was about be a lot more than just paint in that studio tonight.
Han Jisung
Congratulations you have officially broken him. I mean he will be really shocked In the beginning and basically be like Changbin, asking questions and all, but then later on both of you basically forget about it, until it comes to help in his studio.
Ten am. That was the time Chan had called you and told you about the current condition of your boyfriend Han Jisung, the condition being overworking again. This was the fifth time this month that Chan had to call you to take your boyfriend home from writing tens of thousands of beautiful lyrics on paper and experimenting with the sounds on Chan's laptop. Sighing to yourself, you got up grabbed your keys and helmet, and zoomed off to the JYP building on your Harley.
"Jisungie baby?" You called out his name, slowly entering the studio, to see a messy haired boy, dressed in a black hoodie, head in his hands, headphones lying abandoned at the side. He turned slowly in his chair to face you, and your heart dropped when you saw the dark circles under his eyes. "I can't do this anymore Y/N. I feel like all the lyrics make no sense and- and I feel so fucking stupid." Being quick to cup his face in your hands, you softly wiped away the solitary tear on his face. "Baby Hey look at me look at me now please." Round quokka eyes looked at you as you slowly unzipped your leather jacket. "How about I give you a bit of inspiration hm? Will you come home then?" Jisung's brain had stopped working. There you were, all dolled up in a green suit with the sluttiest bra in this world, all for him. Slowly snaking an arm around your waist, and leaving wet kisses around your exposed collarbone, Jisung took you to the recording area, ready to record your moans, just for some inspiration.
Lee Felix Yongbok
Oh my god he would be so FLUSTERED. Like he'd have to hide in the bathroom in order to hide his burning face.
"Lixie you good in there?" Your boyfriend Felix was currently hiding in the kitchen of your apartment. You had finally told him about your old job when you were playing truth or dare (although mostly it was truth or truth) and his reaction was....adorable. His entire face had turned red as he stuttered and quickly went out of the room to the kitchen where you knew he was stress baking or more like shock baking. "Yeah! Im totally fine!" Yep he was baking, face still red, apron worn upside down, and icing on his nose and talking with an unusually high pitch. You walked up to and wiped the icing off of his nose. "Baby I can clearly notice the bulge in your pants you know that right?" You asked him to which he responded with a low mumble if the word 'sorry'. "It's alright baby. By the way, what do you think I show you my old gear?" Never before had you seen your boyfriend have this much fear and excitement filling his eyes. "Really?" You nodded to his question as he got out a tray of brownies from the oven and put them on the table, covering them with a cloth. You reached out for one but he slapped your hand. "The brownies can wait sunshine." His voice was sultry and low again as he wrapped his arms around your neck. "I wanna see that nice costume of yours."
Kim Seungmin
Bruh he would be so chill. Like zero reaction. Literally.
"Pup I- I need to tell you something and I want your full attention." You had finally gathered the courage to tell your boyfriend Seungmin about your old job at the gentlemen's club when you were in college. He would eventually find the devil tails and high red heels which had the words 'for the eyes only' on them. Kim Seungmin was a Rubik's cube. You couldn't ever predict what he was going to do or what he was going to feel. So naturally your ass was a nervous Trainwreck when you decided to finally tell him. "What is it bub? Is it about the burnt toast I left on the terrace? Cause I told you the crows just like the toast extra crisp." Seungmin told you, putting down his book and adjusting his sage sweater, and allowing his arms to wrap around your body, which was currently draped in his hoodie. "No sweetie it's not that. It's something more serious and- and if you don't like what I'm about to say, it's ok if you break up with me." Seungmin frowned a bit and nudged his head in your neck, making you smile. "I- I used to be a stripper at the local gentlemen's club when I was eighteen to pay my bills. I don't do it anymore but I thought you should know since my old gear is still lying around somewhere in this mess of an apartment. And- and maybe if you found it one day, I thought maybe you- you'll leave me or- or You don't know what caused tears to come out of your eyes but they did and they weren't stopping. "Bubba shh. Hey look at me. Look at me it's alright." Seungmin shushed you as he put your head on his chest, stroking your hair as you calmed down, hearing his heartbeat. "Bub I really wouldn't care if you were a goddamn homeless person before. You're successful now aren't you? And all those things you did to reach here? Im proud of those bub. So please don't cry. It's breaking my heart." You sniffled a bit and looked up at your caramel haired boyfriend to give him a kiss, and wrap yourself more tightly in his arms, feeling safe and content. "So can I see that gear maybe?" "Kim Seungmin!"
Yang Jeongin
Dude I really don't know. This man would be a combination of all the members. You tell him about this and he'll go through every human emotion to ever exist.
"Innie? Innie." Jeongin just sat there frozen on the couch, not chewing the chips which were trapped in his mouth. "Oh my god Jeongin! Yah!" You snapped your fingers in front of him. "Wh-What yeah I'm here. Im Jeongin yes and you're y/n, my girlfriend whom I love, and also who I want to see in her costume right now." His confused face turned into a smirk, as he stopped with his rambling. "I'll show you soon baby. Do you wanna, uh, swallow the chips in your mouth now." You asked him as he quickly swallowed the chips and contorted his face into a pout. "I wanna see it now!" He whined. You sighed and got up to get, your boyfriend tailing you like a lost puppy. Yep. Definetly the maknae on top.
#skz#stray kids#bang chan#lee minho#lee know#seo Changbin#hwang hyunjin#han#han jisung#felix#lee yongbok#kim Seungmin#yang jeongin#skz headcanons#skz reactions#stray kids headcanons#stray kids reactions#i had fun writing this#its been in my wips for a lot of time#bye bye now#i hope you have a great day ahead
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Big Bro
Summary: Marco is a cocky jock used to coasting through life on his good looks. His stepbrother Jared has always been fat, and teasing him about it is Marco’s favourite pastime. But when Jared starts slimming down, Marco’s latest scheme (sabotaging Jared’s diet) comes back to bite him in a big way.
This story owes a huge debt to “Neighbors” by Anonymous. I couldn’t match that story’s rapid-fire pace, but I do think I did justice to the narrator’s snarky tone.
~
I’m one of those guys who can eat whatever he wants. It’s true—my whole life I’ve had this amazing metabolism. I ate like a pig all through high school, and I had the best body in that place. Probably because I played so many sports.
My stepbrother, Jared, wishes he could eat like me and look as good as I do. Dude is so lazy, and so damn fat. The only exercise he gets is lifting a fork and getting up for seconds. I don’t know where he gets it—my stepdad keeps in pretty good shape; he’s a pretty good looking dude, all around. My mom definitely could have done worse.
But Jared was always big, at least as long as I’ve known him. He used to get some shit for it in high school, but never when I was around. In a weird way, I felt kind of protective over him. We were 17 when our parents got married, and we didn’t have much in common—I mean, come on, look at us. But I still don’t like other people ragging on him for being such a fat fuck. It’s like, I can say that, but it feels different if it comes from a stranger. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain.
Do I tease Jared? Well, yeah, but he knows I’m just screwing around. When you hit 300, 350 pounds like he is, you probably get used to people messing with you. One time I slapped a “Wide Load” sticker on his back, and he walked around for like, an hour before he noticed. My mom was pissed; I definitely got in some shit for that one. And then there was the time I loosened all the screws in his gaming chair—I still remember the look on his face when he came crashing down like a ton of bricks. Hilarious.
Lately, though, I have a new way of messing with him. It’s so damn funny. He’s doing this diet thing, so I’ll pig out on all his favourite junk food, right in front of him. Put on a real show, too, sighing and moaning and licking the ice cream off the spoon like I’m in some kind of commercial. Or a porno. His face is priceless, with his eyes glazed-over and his hands rubbing that big fat gut of his. It must be torture for a guy like that, to see a guy who looks like me stuffing his face with all the food he knows he can’t have.
So I’m pretty sure he’s gonna snap soon, and fall off the wagon in a big way. He’s never exactly been the poster boy for restraint, loading up at every meal like it’s gonna be his last, then waddling—and I do mean waddling—off to play video games with his arms full of snacks. Plus, he’s in culinary school now. I mean, go figure, right? How’s a guy going to stick to his diet when he’s surrounded by food for a living?
That’s why I’m glad I don’t have to diet. I’m a server at this big family restaurant, so I’m pretty used to working around good food. I’ve been working there for about four years now, since I was 16, so the kitchen staff have gotten to know me pretty well. They’re never shy with the leftovers, and I’ll never say no to free grub. Especially not when it looks that good. I used to just have a quick bite on my break, to keep my energy up, but lately I’ve been bringing a big doggy bag home so I can pig out on ribs, mashed potatoes, burgers and fries in front of poor Jared.
I’m honestly impressed he’s stuck out on this diet thing for as long as he has. It’s been a couple of months now, and he’s still at it, picking away at celery sticks and Greek yoghurt and boring salads while I pile up plate after plate of whatever I want. Seems like he’s starting to get some results, too. He’s still a massive fatass, but his clothes are a little looser (or less hilariously tight), and his gut doesn’t hang out quite as far in front of him, either.
I’ve been trying to save up enough to move out for a while now, but I’m not exactly great with money. I like to have a good time, you know? My mom’s always on my case about how often I go clubbing with my friends, not to mention all the hot clothes I buy to show off my killer bod. That shit just looks good on me. If it shows off how pumped my arms and pecs look, of course I’m gonna buy it. But I’m starting to get serious about moving out—I’ve been taking on way more shifts at the restaurant. It does mean I’ve had to cut back on my trips to the gym a little bit, but that doesn’t matter. Like I said, my metabolism can do anything.
When I do finally move out, I’m gonna miss seeing Jared’s sad puppy dog eyes when he watches me scarfing down chips and swigging beer like it’s going out of style. “Unh, this is sooo good,” I’ll moan, clutching my stomach as I shovel another spoonful of rocky road into my mouth. “These brownies are incredible,” I’ll say, licking the chocolate off my fingers while Jared just stares on, nibbling carrot sticks like the world’s fattest rabbit. So funny.
I’ve been having some uniform problems lately. It’s the weirdest thing. I’ve been wearing size 32 jeans for years, but lately my pants have been kind of hard to button. Same thing with my shirts—I’ve only ever worn a medium, but lately they’re feeling a little snug, especially when I’m a little bloated after my second dessert. My buddies have been joking that I need to cool it with all the food I’m scarfing down, but they’re probably just jealous. They’re all a bunch of diet-obsessed muscle heads; those drama queens don’t understand how much a guy like me can put away without gaining weight.
Speaking of clothes that don’t fit, Jared looks like he’s swimming in his old t-shirts and cargo shorts. I’ve seen him shirtless, heading to and from the shower, and he’s definitely still a lardass, but I can’t deny that he’s lost at least a few pounds.
And speaking of a few pounds, I had the weirdest experience at the club the other night when I was out with a couple of the guys. Looking like I do, I always clean up there. Normally, guys throw themselves at me—I haven’t had to pay for a drink of my own in ages, considering how many I get for free. But that night, I got maybe one free drink from a guy who was about twice my age! I smiled at him, but I was surprised he thought he had a shot with me. And then, later, I was flirting with this pretty little twink at the bar. We’d hooked up once before, but that night he seemed totally over me. When I finally got him to look up from his phone, he put his hand on my side, and then pulled it away like I’d burned him. “You need to hit the gym, Marco,” he said.
And then he just walked away! I was so pissed, I walked right out of there. I stopped by a pizza place on the way home and picked up a few slices… I’ll admit it, I do eat my feelings, sometimes. But like I’ve been saying, it’s no problem when you’ve got a body like mine.
The owner of the restaurant called me into the office recently, and handed me a new uniform. I was sort of confused. Then he pointed at my stomach and said, “You need a size up, young man. That show you’re putting on is distracting.” Show? What show? At first I thought he meant the gun show, although my killer biceps have never been a problem before. Then I realized that my shirt was starting to slip up around my stomach and on the sides. I really must have overdone it on the pasta, to be that bloated.
Still, I do appreciate the new threads. Clearly they’re doing something with the sizing, because the 36s fit me a lot better than my old pair of 34s. To be honest, they still aren’t what I’d call loose, but I can at least get them on without it turning into a whole production. And it’s nice to wear a shirt that I can breathe in—and eat in.
On the subject of eating, I still haven’t managed to get Jared to crack yet. He’s dedicated, but I know I can break him. I think I’m getting close. The other night, I came home with a dozen frosted donuts, and I ate one after the other, moaning like a noisy bottom during a good fuck. I can tell he’s starting to crack, because he got this weird, distant look in his eyes, and he couldn’t stop staring at me. He looked seriously tempted when I dangled my tenth donut under his nose, but he just looked at me and said, “You have it, Marco.” Well, if you insist, bro! Ten was all I could manage, though, since my tank was seriously full by that point. The other two made for a good midnight snack, at least.
Teasing him isn’t as fun as it used to be. He’s dropped some serious weight by this point. He still has a big, soft gut and a fat ass, but he must have shifted about 80 pounds. Maybe more, honestly. And he’s getting to be in better shape—he has a real spring in his step, and his hips have slimmed down enough that he can walk without waddling. I even walked in on him doing bicep curls in his room the other day! I almost laughed out loud. “Gonna get into sumo, bro?” I asked him. He just smirked at me and kept going. Like I said, he’s getting harder to make fun of.
But tempting him has never been easier. He’s practically doing it for me at this point, bringing home all this food from his culinary classes. It’s something different every day: a huge porterhouse steak fried in garlic butter, thick slices of New York style cheesecake, Nashville fried chicken… Like, okay, bro, but it’s your funeral! If you wanna see me eat all the delicious food that you can’t have, I’ll eat it, but don’t blame me when your diet goes belly up. Besides being a regular glutton, he must be a glutton for punishment, since he just stares at me while I eat plate after plate. Damn can he cook, though.
My mom has been kind of on my case about me clearing out the fridge on a regular basis. I don’t know what her damage is; I mean, a guy’s gotta eat, right? But she and my stepdad have definitely been giving me a few looks when I load up my plate with seconds and thirds at dinner. “You must be hungry, big guy!” my stepdad said the other night. He even poked me in the stomach! I assume he was kidding around, but still, it kind of annoyed me. Like, nobody ever said shit about Jared when he would demolish a big bowl of pasta, but when Marco’s the one pigging out, suddenly it’s a criminal offence? Give me a break. And who the fuck is “big guy”? Like, maybe take a look at your own son, bud.
At least Jared’s been cool. He’s really not a bad guy. I guess there are no hard feelings about me messing with him, since he did me a real solid the other day. I was trying to get into a pair of pants before work, but they were giving me a really hard time. I was tugging and fighting, and starting to get a little out of breath from all the struggling—yeah, I know, probably time to hit the gym, but that was like an arm workout of its own! But those damn pants just wouldn’t budge. I’m telling you, 38 inches is not as big as it sounds. And then Jared walks by, notices me having the fight of my life with a pair of khakis, and comes back a minute later with a pair of his own.
I tried not to laugh in his face, since he was trying to do something nice. I mean, come on, dude, those are gonna be huge on me! Or so I thought. Like I said, all these clothing companies must be getting weird with the sizes since a 40-inch waist really wasn’t a bad fit. “Don’t sweat it, Marco,” he said. “Everyone puts on a little weight in their 20s.”
Yeah, you’d know, I wanted to say. Except, that wasn’t really true. He’s still fat, but not comically fat. He just looks like a big bear. But still, where does this guy get off? “A little weight”? A guy that size is in no position to talk.
But I figured that he might have a point. I mean, I definitely do look a little softer around the edges… my gut is getting kind of hard to ignore, and I’m getting a pretty big butt. Not that a big ass is a bad thing… I have to admit, I do kind of like having a nice, round bubble butt to grab onto.
A few days later, I decided to see how much I’d put on.
When I stepped on the scale, I did a double take. I know I might have packed on a few pounds, but I was thinking 10, 15 tops. But the damn thing must have been broken, since it said I weigh 247 pounds. I mean, 247? Are you kidding me? I was 171 when I graduated high school; there’s no way I’ve packed on 76 pounds. Not with my metabolism. Maybe 20, but close to 80? That thing had to be busted.
I decided to ask Jared about it. If the scale said I was closing in on 250, I don’t know what it would have said about him! So I asked him straight-up: “How much are you weighing these days? According to the scale upstairs?”
“245, last time I checked,” he said. “Although I usually use the scales at the gym.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. Okay, so they definitely were broken. No way I’m fatter than fatass Jared. Any scale that says I am must be seriously out of whack. I decided to celebrate with a couple of pieces of the apple pie he’d brought home the day before. I ate most of it last night, but there was still enough left for a half-decent snack. I made a big show of looking my stepdad in the eyes as I shovelled out a few scoops of ice cream to go with it, almost daring him to say something. He didn’t, though.
I have to admit, I’m a little bummed out now that Jared’s graduated from culinary school. I had gotten used to free food on a nightly basis, and there was something pretty satisfying about tempting him with his own cooking. Turns out, that’s the least of my worries: Jared got a job as a cook at my restaurant! Which means I’ll have to see him at work and around the house.
There is one upside, at least. Ever since Jared started, the kitchen has been very generous with the free food. I’m talking full steaks and ribs during my shift, with two or three sides: loaded baked potatoes, cheese fries, potato wedges… the good shit. Plus, doggy bags to bring home, complete with some of my favourite desserts. And I make sure Jared can see me eating all of it. It must be killing him, now that he can’t avoid it at home or work! I bet he’s gonna give up that diet thing any day now.
“Maybe you should go on a diet, yourself,” my pal Jordan said when we were out for drinks the other night. Well, the guys were getting drinks, I was getting drinks and a few appetizers; like I said, a guy’s gotta eat! I could see Jordan staring at my body, and he had the nerve to give my gut a slap! “You’re getting bigger than Jared, dude.”
“Fuck off,” I said, laughing. I grabbed a handful of potato skins. I was starting to regret bringing up my little pet project. “He’s a whale compared to me.” I gave my arms a flex for emphasis, and then took a swig of beer.
“I don’t know, man, that gut is getting out of control,” Aiden said, poking me in the stomach. I flushed; what was this, some kind of intervention? “When was the last time you hit the gym? I haven’t seen you around there in ages.”
“Nah, Aiden, he’s been working out,” Tony said. He cupped one of my pecs and gave it a jiggle, “His jaw muscles have never been stronger!” I tugged on the hem of my shirt, trying to remember when my pecs got so damn jiggly. I can’t even explain it, but there was something about my buddies manhandling me like that that got me kind of hot and bothered.
The guys all laughed. “That’s funny, ‘cause I can’t see ‘em!” Aiden chimed in. More laughter. I clenched my jaw; maybe my face is a little rounder, but I hide it well with some stubble. I thought I looked pretty hot.
“I was talking to Reed the other day,” Tony said. “You guys remember Reed, Marco’s old fuckbuddy? Works at Silk and Satin? Well, he said he barely recognized you when he saw you at the club a couple weeks back.”
I must have been bright scarlet by that point. “Reed’s a fucking liar,” I grumbled. “He was all over me that night.” The truth was, I couldn’t even flag that little dick down to order myself a drink, but I wasn’t about to admit that to the guys. Silk and Satin is overpriced and overrated, anyway. Just a meat market full of shallow gym bunnies.
“Yeah, there’s a lot to be all over!” Jordan said. He turned to me and put a hand on my arm. “Seriously, though, let us know if you want some help at the gym. You’re not a bad looking guy, Marco, it’d be a crime to throw those good looks away.”
I wanted to melt into my seat. “Yeah, thanks,” I said. I didn’t even know what they were talking about; how exactly was I throwing my looks away? I was just hungry.
The guys might have a point about me getting bigger than Jared, though. I was passing him in the hallway the other day, and I caught sight of our guts. Well, shit, I’m pretty sure mine stuck out farther than his! Had more jiggle to it, too…. That might explain why I’ve been borrowing his old clothes and he’s been borrowing mine. But I wrote the experience off; his metabolism sucks compared to mine, so it’s definitely temporary. Probably just a bloat. I just need to cool it with the junk food and hit the gym again. I promised Jordan I’d go with him, but I just haven’t found the right time, you feel?
And I also didn’t want to run into Jared. He’s in that place every damn day, running or lifting or doing whatever he’s been doing to shrink that fat ass of his down to a reasonable size. A very reasonable size, apparently, since that ass seemed to be getting plenty of attention in the locker room: a couple of my friends had started commenting on what a round, perky bubble butt he’s sporting. He’s a fatass! I wanted to say… I would have, too, if I wasn’t wearing his old size-46 jeans. And it was probably time to ask if he had any with a 48” waist, since those are getting pretty tight…
It seems like the whole damn world is going crazy. The other day at work, a couple of the waitresses were talking about Jared like he was the hottest guy around. I had to jump in and say something, I just couldn’t ignore it. It used to annoy me when people talked shit about him, but lately, that wasn’t even a problem—everyone seemed to be joining the Jared fan club. And no, I definitely wasn’t jealous, fuck you very much. Why would I be? “Don’t you think he’s kind of… fat?”
I’ll admit, maybe my timing wasn’t great. Earlier that shift, I was turning around in the stock room and I knocked a whole bunch of cleaning supplies off the shelf with my ass. It’s not my fault, okay? That room is cramped; they really need a supply closet that’s big enough for normal people. And I’ve got a lot of junk in the trunk! Since when did that become a bad thing?
They frowned at me. Jessica gave me a look like she’d just stepped in something. Which was pretty rich, given how she used to leer at me like her own personal Playgirl centerfold. “He just has a little dad bod,” she said. “And besides, you’re one to talk.”
I scowled back. “What, this?” I patted my stomach, realizing I’d slapped it hard enough to make it jiggle a little. I had to tug my shirt down where the motion forced it up. “This is nothing. It’s like, a delayed freshman 15.” I didn’t point out that it was more like 100, at this point. Okay, okay, maybe a little more. No more than 150, though. I swear.
Kristen snorted. “Pretty sure you have to be a freshman to pull that off,” she said. “You’re obviously just jealous.”
It was all I could do not to burst out laughing. Me, jealous of Jared? If anything, they’re jealous of me, bitter that they’ll never have a shot with me.
Still, after that I decided to cool it a little with the food. I’m a big guy with a big appetite, but getting those sorts of comments is way out of my comfort zone. They give me this feeling in my gut that I don’t even understand. It’s like… shit, people are starting to think of me as a fat guy. It’s weird. So I decided to help myself to all the food the kitchen threw my way that night, and cap off the night with a trip to McDonald’s for a few Big Mac meals. The diet would start tomorrow.
Except, it didn’t. I really planned on eating better, but it’s not as easy as I thought it would be. I’ve always liked to eat, and never had to count calories in my life. It’s not like I didn’t try—I had a bowl of granola for breakfast and everything. But I don’t know how people live on that rabbit food; I was starving again after an hour. So when Jared whipped up a big plate of waffles, I couldn’t resist. I had to dig in.
It sort of became a cycle. I’d promise myself I’d start eating better and working out again. I’d have something halfway-healthy for breakfast. But I was so miserable and hangry that I just couldn’t deal. So I’d end up at Five Guys, stuffing my face with fries and washing it down with a chocolate and peanut butter shake. By that point I’d be so full that even thinking about the gym was a chore, so I’d blow Jordan off and head home to take a nap, or maybe watch the game or play some video games with Jared. He’s actually kind of fun to hang out with, to be totally honest. Rinse and repeat, day after day. Meanwhile, Jared is there throwing his healthy diet in my face, munching on salmon filets and garden salads like he’s Jenny Craig’s bottom all of a sudden.
At least he doesn’t make a big deal out of how much I’m eating like our parents. He’s like, the least judgmental guy I know. I’ve been complaining to him about how annoying it is to still be living at home, how I need my independence. Take my mom, for example: she’s always pushing stupid healthy food on me. And I swear my stepdad is judging me for eating as much as I do. I don’t care what he thinks, though. It may be your house, Roger, but I’m a full-grown man, and I can eat whatever I want. So what if I want to eat a lot? That never seemed to be a problem when your own son was stuffing his face around the clock. Glass houses, right?
And then weeks would pass, and then months, and I couldn’t get my pants to button. Well, Jared’s pants. First 48 inches got tight around the waist, then my thighs busted the seams on his 50s, and before I knew it, I had to stop raiding Jared’s closet. I’d straight-up outgrown every damn thing in there. Let me just say, I’m not proud to be walking around the big-and-tall store trying to find something to disguise my gut.
And the guys in the kitchen at work are no help. Tempting me with food is like a game to them. Let’s see how much Marco can eat today, I imagined them saying, as they loaded up plate after plate with pasta, steaks, burgers, and fries. How much can we feed him this time? I swear, it’s like they’re messing up orders on purpose just to push the rejects in my direction.
No one tells you how hard it is to be a fat guy. When I hit 350 pounds, I realized that’s what I was—a fat guy. Getting hungry all the time is one thing, and getting out of breath hauling all my weight around could have been expected. But there are a million little things I never even imagined. Like showers. I used to hop in, lather up my abs and my ass, and hop out. Not anymore. Now, it’s like a goddamn Olympic event, squeezing into the shower, soaping up all those hard to reach places… downright exhausting. And sitting in booths? Not gonna happen. I’ve even started looking at certain chairs funny, wondering if they’re gonna splinter like kindling under all this extra weight. 360 pounds… 370 pounds… When I crossed 380, I decided to stop keeping track. What difference does it even make, anymore?
And the looks I get? I never imagined. It used to be that guys couldn’t get enough of me; I used to turn heads when I walked into a room. Then people just started ignoring me. Now, those jackasses are downright hostile. Their heads turn for other reasons. Like, okay, I’m a little on the big side, I’m not gonna fucking sit on you, or eat you. Some bratty little twink straight-up huffed and rolled his eyes when I sat next to him on the bus. Sure, I may have been taking up a pretty major slice of his seat, but it wasn’t like I was letting my love handles spill over onto him on purpose. You would have been all over me three years ago, I wanted to say. And that bus ride was its own ordeal—those doors are narrow! And I forgot how sweaty I get from just walking around, not to say jogging to catch the 34. I was pretty damn pleased when I got my car back from the shop.
My so-called “friends” are the worst of all. Turns out they’re all shallow gym rats. Aiden, who I grew up with, actually pretended not to know me when I bumped into him at Starbucks for my daily caramel frappuccino! Like knowing a guy my size would make him guilty by association.
They’re all too busy chasing after guys like Jared. Yeah, that’s right, fatass Jared has become a hot commodity among thirsty gay boys. Seeing him fill out my clothes with his muscular lats and round, firm glutes almost makes me want to cry. Those jeans were mine! That Marc Jacobs bomber jacket was mine! Those friends were mine!
I can’t even stay mad at him, though. He’s just too decent. If I even seem hungry, he’ll jump up and start chopping potatoes and frying bacon. I kind of wonder about the new him, though—is he happy? He definitely seems like it, when he’s slipping on some form-hugging muscle shirt to go clubbing, or crawling home with some stud under his arm. But when he sits down across from me at the table, watching me devour donut after donut, burger after burger, there’s always this look in his eyes… it’s not even like he’s hungry. He doesn’t want the food, he wants… something else. I wish he wasn’t so damn hard to read.
I was really starting to like the guy when he went and dropped a bomb on me. He was moving out. “I’m almost 22, Marco,” he said, when I tried to protest. “I can’t live with my dad forever.”
You know what? I almost got a little choked up. “I feel like I was just starting to get to know you,” I said.
He smiled at me. “I’ll still be around.”
But what about your food? I wanted to ask him. Sure, there’s the food he makes at work, and my full-blown fast food addiction, but none of it can match the stuff he makes me. As a former fat guy himself, he knows how to make food taste good. Really, really good. It isn’t just butter and sugar, either, it’s care. Watching him cook… the guy is an artist. I didn’t want to let that go. I didn’t want to let him go.
And when it rains, it pours. About a week after Jared moved out, the owner of the restaurant called me into his office. I sat down—on two chairs, just to be safe—and felt like I already knew where this was going.
“1,932 dollars, Marco,” he said.
I just looked at him. What the hell was he talking about?
“That’s how much free food you ate in the last month alone. If you sat down and ordered all of it off the menu, it would cost almost two thousand dollars.”
I didn’t know what to say. Sure, I liked steak, and pasta, and cheesecake. I liked a lot of food. But I’d never really thought about it like that before. The guys in the kitchen handed me food, and I ate it. That’s what I told him.
He sighed. He had this pinched look on his face. I guess he might have been handsome 20 or 30 years ago, but there was something mean in his features. “I’ve talked to the kitchen staff, and they tell me you’re constantly bothering them for food. I’ve never minded giving out a few meals here and there, but…. This has become an issue.”
I gulped. Maybe I asked for a few freebies here and there, but it’s not like I was some sort of addict. They were pushing it on me! If I asked for it, they made it.
My cheeks were red hot. What do you even say to that? “Okay,” is what I came up with.
“And it’s been affecting your work performance. Customers have complained. Tips are worse when you wait tables, which makes the other waitstaff unhappy. You take breaks constantly. I think maybe it’s time that you moved on.”
Moved on? This guy was firing me? I’d been working there for more than six years, since I was a kid. And now I was out on my ass, because I like to eat and customers don’t want a 400-pounder waiting at their tables? “Woah, I don’t think that’s fair, I—”
“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be, Marco. I like you. But you’re not the young man I hired.”
That pissed me off. So this guy wanted me to stay some pretty little piece of ass for the rest of my life? Like the Peter Pan of hot gay jocks? Sorry I’m not a hunky teenager anymore, I wanted to say. Sorry I got fat. That’s fucking life.
But I didn’t. I just stared at him.
“You can work the rest of the shifts on your schedule. But after that, I think it’s best if you find another job.”
Bye, bye moving out: after years of saving up, getting ready to move out on my own without roommates, I could kiss that plan goodbye. I didn’t know what to do with myself.
Food was my comfort and my vengeance. If the owner had a problem with me getting fat off free meals, well, he hadn’t seen anything yet. I had four shifts on my schedule, and Jared and the other cooks made absolutely sure that my gut was completely stuffed after every one of them. How many hundreds of dollars would that have cost me, dick?
“I don’t know what I’m gonna do next, Jared,” I said after my last shift. I was off the clock, but I stayed and watched him cleaning up around the kitchen, prepping for the next day. Damn, he’s really changed: big, brawny arms, prominent pecs, a chiselled jawline… the sort of guy I used to want… and used to be.
He looked up from the herbs he was chopping, staring at me as I picked at a heaping bowl of french fries. “You could move in with me,” he said.
I paused. It was something I wanted, but something I didn’t think I could have. I didn’t even think it was right to want it in the first place. He was such a good cook, and he was pretty much the last good friend I had left in the world. He was the only one who didn’t seem to care what I ate, or how fat I got. Maybe it was because he’d been there himself, or maybe it was because he liked me.
And to be honest, I kind of liked the new me, too. I liked eating. I loved it, actually. I used to challenge myself at the gym, but now, I could challenge myself at the kitchen table. Instead of pushing myself to do more reps, or bench more weight, gluttony was my new challenge. How many donuts can I eat today? Could I polish off a whole frozen cheesecake in one sitting? The answer was usually “yes”, and I’ll admit, there’s an undeniable pleasure in pushing your gut to new horizons. If blowing up like a balloon was a side-effect of that, it was a price I was willing to pay. Big guys had more presence, they took up more space. Was that such a bad thing to be? Was that wrong to want?
I looked at Jared. How many good meals had he made me? How many times had he gone to bat for me when my mom or his dad got on my case? Living with him, hanging out with him all the time, eating his amazing cooking whenever I want it… it all sounded like a dream come true.
“I don’t know, I don’t have a job, I don’t know how I’d pay rent,” I said. Admitting that felt kind of pathetic.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said. He smiled, but there was something in his eyes, something… dark? “Besides, you’re going to need someone to take care of you when you’re too fat to take care of yourself.”
I felt my throat get tight. He’s never said anything like that before. Jared’s always been this stable, comforting presence. I don’t even know where a comment like that came from.
But I nodded.
Because, deep down, I know he’s right.
And I know I’ll probably like it.
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Could you imagine the hero discourse in the prime defenders universe. There’s some Reddit post that’s like
r/askreddit
what was a negative interaction you had with a hero in your life
I’m curious because I see so many people talking like they’re purely good and I personally have seen them do pretty mean stuff
“when I was in the 6th grade silhouette was a TA on a school trip with my class and i told him that I needed the bathroom and he just told me to piss my pants and then ignored me and then when we actually got to the museum he just ditched us and left ms Gilbert to try and handle the entire class alone so I think that says a lot about what kind of person he really is”
“Tide once completely flooded my car that was parked on a bridge while fighting a villain and it had pictures of my grandma who died in a box on my passenger seat and they were ruined and I’m kinda still not over that”
“Pretender once walked straight into me and then just shoved me away and started shouting about how I should have moved if I was real”
“Well since the whole deal where random heroes have been going crazy I think you’re going to get a lot of bad experiences”
“Atlas killed my brother when he snapped that one time”
“This kid hero DC and his group got me fired from work because they literally stood in the middle of the road to harass some villain in a car instead of letting the cops deal with it. I was an hour late because they had to get someone to tow the car and it was totalled when they put it down because one of his friends had this freaky third demon arm thing that crushed it”
“Oh god yeah that kid. Watched him and his buddies dump some dude’s body in a lake. Then when my neighbour tried to stop them they made a call and then did something to him that messed him up for days. He doesn’t even remember it happening shits scary bro”
“Oh damn you live in rockfall too? Those kids are fucking menaces. The purple hair elf kid once just started stealing shit from the store I work at. Like he tried to put a bucket on my head and then in clear view crouched and started taking shit off the shelves and putting it in his bag. Security had to stop him and then he got picked up by Tide later.”
“Dodgeboy called me and my girlfriend a slur once :( I know he was super old but that’s still messed up”
“Saw a red haired hero kid punch out a wall of the dodge boy memorial library once when I was walking home from my night shift. As I was walking away I saw him and his friends harassing some kid with their powers and it kind of pissed me off with heroes in general. Like this is how the next generation of our protectors are being raised? God.”
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Doting wife reader and her wedding dress? What happened with that?
Dick say on the tufted ottoman in the closet, his legs dangling off the side and watched you look through clothes, rejecting dresses that just weren't the right vibe.
It was easier when you didn't have as many options and didn't have the ability to just buy new clothes whenever.
"What's in that one?" Dick asked, pointing to a garment bag you'd skimmed over a half dozen times.
"The wedding dress I didn't wear," you sigh. That was honestly the only regret you had about eloping. It was a beautiful dress. And you could almost feel like you were pretty in it.
"Why don't you wear that one?" he asked, scrunching up his face when the face mask you'd put on him started to itch a little.
"You don't wear white to other people's wedding's, Dickie," you tell him. "Money or no it's trashy."
"But-"
"You don't upstage the bride, dude. It's not nice."
Dick frowned, thinking, "How come you didn't wear it?" he asked.
You shrug, "Because we got a few weeks into planning and realized dealing with my parents was going to be a nightmare."
"Yeah," he said sagely. "I could see that. But you coulda wore it-"
"It ws being altered still... So I just wore a dress I already had." You smile a little. It was romantic, even if it wasn't quite what you planned. Bruce had quite literally stolen you away in the middle of the night, taking you by the hand and leading you through the dark house to a waiting car. No one knew what was happening. No one knew to look. And you'd felt... free.
"Are you ever gonna wear it?" he asked. He'd peeked in the bag once. There's been lace and beads. And that was all he saw. Now he wanted to know what it looked like. He liked your clothes. Lots of colors when you weren't working.
"Maybe someday," you tell him. "Or I could donate to one of those Cinderlla's closet things-"
"Did B ever see it?"
"No one did," you tell him. "I wound up going to pick it by myself." You shug and pull a midnight blue dress out. Bruce liked that one. And he liked the jewelry that went with it... He should anyway. He pressured you into buying it on a trip to Italy. And then designed the jewelry. His favorite thing to do seemed to be spending appalling amounts of money so you could play dress up.
"That's a good one," Dick said approvingly.
"C'mon dude. Let's go get this goop washed off so you can go to bed," you tell him, hanging the dress up to be steamed and holding out a hand for Dick.
"It's itchy," he complained.
"Beauty is pain, Dickie bird," you snort. "You wanted me to put it on you-"
"I didn't know it was gonna itch."
"Just be thankful you don't have to mess with shapewear and heels," you tease.
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JAYJAY I HAVE THIS CUTE IDEA THAT YOU MIGHT LIKE
OKAY OKAY….imagine going on a road trip with enha! I THINK IT WOULD BE SO CUTE ESPECIALLY WITH JAKE AND NIKI AAAAHAHEHHDJDDJJ HEHEHEHHEEHHHEHEHEH👹👹👹
Enhypen Headcanons- Road-trip!
HELLLO MY DEAR IT HAS BEEN A CRAZY COUPLE OF DAYS BUT I AM ON IN RN!!!! IM GONNA DO THESE AS LIKE HEADCANONS <3 edit- IM SO sorry this took awhile. i had a ton of birthday stuff and then my friends stayed like the entire weekend. I LITERALLY FINISHED THIS WHILE THEYRE SLEEPING EVEN THO WE HAVE CHURCH TOMORROW ITS LIKE 2:30 AM!
MASTERLIST
JUNGWON-
Jay def put him in charge of music mainly because Riki kept playing something INSANE LIKE ASMR ON THE AUX. Jungwon probably plays really nice classical music that makes everyone fall asleep but then will randomly play screamo too so he scares everyone. He lets everyone choose a song though!
DEF ASKS TO GO PEE EVERY 20 MILES
HE SITS RIGHT BEHIND JAY!
His song choice is No More Dream by bts
HEESEUNG-
I think be brings up like "lets play ispy!!!" then looked at like Jay like "i spy a grumpy pants!" Just to mess with him while he's driving. Other than that he is the snack keeper. He is in the passengers seat and the snacks are by his feet so no one hogs snacks. One time though Heeseung wanted to mess with Jake by playing tug of war with the bag of chips and you can imagine how that ended.
Heeseung's song choice is You got a friend in me by Randy Newman
JAY-
HE IS DRIVING. He gives driving vibes yaknow?? He is def a safe driver too, like he isn't driving like a maniac. He always has his blinker on too early and he is driving the speed limit. Can you imagine Jay backing up the car.... ANYWAYS-
He has def turned the music off to focus when the car gets tense too
Jay's song choice is Mr. Brightside by the Killers or he will just turn on like the oldies radio.
JAKE-
He is somewhere in the middle of the van, I also think he gets carsick so bad. Whenever Riki wants him to look at something on his phone if its longer than a quick glance Jake NEEDS to look out the window, otherwise those chips he ate off the floor bc of Heeseung are coming up to land on the floor again. Other than that he loves to sing a long to songs <3
He would probably play the anything off the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack!
SUNGHOON-
HE HAS THE COOLER W THE DRINKS ALL THE WAY IN THE BACK! They have tea, soda, water, everything. He wanted the seat all the way in the back for this reason. And because Sunoo is just on his phone the entire time.
Sunghoon has def accidentally smacked Jake in the head with those sodas that are encased in glass. BY ACCIDENT.
He also eats the ice from the cooler....
Sunghoon would play like old songs from I-Land and then be like "remember when so and so did this??" Just to add drama in the car.
SUNOO-
On his phone the entire time!!! Next to Sunghoon in the back. He has his headphones in and he is playing a game. Sunoo is very quiet and just does his own thing! Only looks up when he gets a tincy motion sick or when he sleeps <3
He brought his own snacks. SUNOO DOESNT TRUST ANYONE NOT TO EAT THE FOOD W HIS NAME ON IT.
"Riki just pick my song for me I am not listening."
NI-KI-
"Dude if you throw up, puke on Jungwon..."
VOMIT INSTIGATOR
He also ended up right in the middle of the car which is really dumb because of how tall he is. mf is literally blocking the rear-view mirror.
Riki also purposely will take longer to use the bathroom because before he left he sprayed a TON of axe in the car just to mess w people more. He likes when the windows are rolled down so it works out for him.
He probably plays the MOST insane shit ever, like cbat or like REALLY old meme songs JUST to get on everyones nerves. LIKE THE RAINING TACOS SONG
"Um I get two songs... Sunoo gave me his choice <3"
THIS WHOLE CAR IS JUST A MESS!
#enhypen imagines#enha imagines#jungwon#yang jungwon#yang jungwon imagines#lee heeseung#heeseung#lee heeseung imagines#jay park#enha park jongseung#jay park imagines#jake sim#jake sim imagines#sim jaeyun#park sunghoon#sunghoon#sunghoon imagines#kim sunoo#sunoo imagines#nishimura riki#nishimura riki imagines#kpop#kpop imagines#enhypen#enhypen sunoo#enhypen jake#enhypen scenarios
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We got no Silla bits today but the ep was still amazing.
It's made clear this dude is the dad. Ugh. Clearly, the sin YH has committed in the past life, as far as he's concerned, is making his perfect weapon disobey. Whoever else goes by the end, this man should be on the list. I hope Do Ha (or Ri Ta) killed him damn painfully back in Silla.
In other news, the most understanding lady ever goes to:
It's pretty telling that it opens with Do Ha's nightmare that he's dropping YH off a tall place but ends with Min Oh being the one who does so as DH desperately rushes to save her and not just because if she dies at someone else's hands his curse stays.
I mean, he has confronted that:
The clock is ticking - as far as he knows, it's not he doesn't kill her and she lives a long life and he stays cursed. It's she will die in days anyway, but if he kills her, at least his curse is broken and presumably she gets to live a normal long life next time around too. But even with all of that, it's clear he's been trying to put it off, with the excuse to himself that he wants to know her reasons in the past, but he's running out of time and delusion. This is going to be epic because she, of course, still does not know that he plans to kill her.
But the thing is, he's falling for her all over again (or maybe the feelings that were dormant are just waking up) and what a glorious tragic mess!
But it's so hard for him not to go for her...
The man is a goner.
I mean the relationship in a nutshell:
Five minutes after his snide comments, he's carrying all her bags.
He is helpless in front of her care but having confronted that he can't delay any longer, he doesn't even know what to do but lash out. He could have killed her so many times - I mean in the car, alone! But still he doesn't. I think ultimately he never will be able to.
Like!!!
She has been the sole normalcy in his millennium and a half existence. But the thing is, it's not really just him who developed (remembered) feelings - she is too. Look at this!
If it wasn't for the curse and the terminal illness and all the other obstacles, I really believe they somehow could make it work despite all the insanity, and it is a lovely what-if (with hopefully a lot of therapy.) But alas...
In other news, the brother is on my NO GO list. Any time you are murdering an innocent quasi-stranger with the justification "that's karma from past life," you should go to a prison mental hospital and stay there forever. Preview shows him finding out Daddy lied. Nawwwww!!! No way!!! It's believable he's desperate enough to do things he's doing, but it's despicable as well, and he has no excuse of being a 1500 year old ghost either.
I do love that, once again, it will be the man who is supposed to kill her, who saves her.
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dialogue for steddie being in a secret relationship with dustin's sister?
omg yes 😂
Warning: kinda mentions of sex and smoking 😂 also gifs aren't mine
Disclaimer: I don’t own Stranger Things 😊 gifs aren’t mine 😁
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Caught
"Holy shit" you said, trying to recover yourself with the biggest smile on your face. "That was-"
"Fucking amazing" Eddie finished for you, kissing your bare shoulder. "You alive there, big boy?"
"Yeah" Steve chuckled with his eyes closed as you rested your head on his chest and he kissed your forehead. "Fuck, I love you two so much" he said with a smile mimicking yours and Eddie's.
"Me too" Eddie said, kissing Steve's cheek.
"Me three" you said, not wanting to move as Eddie sat up and light up a cigarette.
"Eddie!" Steve complained.
"What?" he said, letting out the smoke.
"What did we say about smoking?" Steve rolled his eyes.
"That you have to share" you said, placing out your hand so he would give you the cigarette.
"Sweetheart! We're trying to get him to quit" Steve reminded you as you sat up, covering yourself with the blanket and grabbing the cigarette from Eddie.
"It looks like instead I have corrupted our princess, Harrington" Eddie smirked, kissing the side of your head as you took a drag.
"Don't act so innocent, Steve, I remember you trying to impress Nancy by smoking when you were going out" you chuckled before handing the cigarette back to Eddie.
Steve was about to reply, when you heard the front door closing.
"I'm back!" you heard Dustin's voice entering your home.
"Shit!" you muttered when you heard him walk closer to your room and opened the door without even knocking.
"Hey, why is Eddie's van out- WHAT THE FUCK!" Dustin yelled covering his eyes and walking back out and slamming the door. You quickly covered yourself further up, feeling your cheeks burning as both Steve and Eddie burst out laughing. "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?"
"I guess the cat's out of the bag" Steve laughed as you climbed off the bed to get dressed.
"Shut up! This isn't funny!" you complained, putting on Steve's sweater and grabbing some sweatpants. "I think we just scarred my little brother for life!"
"Oh, come on, princess, it is a bit funny" Eddie laughed too.
"Get.Dressed." you told them both, throwing some clothes at them, before you ran out of your room. "Dusty-"
"What the fuck?!" he snapped from the living room, looking at you. "You're fucking my two best friends!"
"Okay, first of all, language" you glared at him. "You do not talk to me that way!"
"Sorry" he muttered but still glaring at you.
"And second of all, we're not fucking" you told him. "We're in a relationship!"
"What? What are you talking about?" he asked confused. "I don't even know how that works!"
"Well, the three of us-"
"I'm not asking!" he snapped as Steve came out of your room wearing your robe and Eddie came out wearing another robe.
"Seriously?" you glared at them, knowing they did that to mess with Dustin.
"Dude, what the fuck! That's my robe!" Dustin snapped at Eddie.
"Oh, I'm sorry man, do you want it back?" Eddie asked, casually.
"Are you referring to the robe or my innocence? Because both are as good as gone!" Dustin complained.
"Dusty, stop being so dramatic" you rolled your eyes.
"No! I warned you, both of you, to stay away from my sister and then you do this?"
"Henderson, calm down, okay? First of all, is not like you saw anything, and secondly, is not like we were going to listen to you" Steve laughed.
"Seriously?" Dustin glared at all three of you. "These two?" he turned to look at you. "You could have been with anybody you wanted and you choose these two?"
"Dustin!"
"Hey!"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that I don't want to know that my friends are fucking my sister!"
"DUSTIN! STOP SAYING IT LIKE THAT!"
"Hey, dude, cool it okay" Steve said, getting a little upset and stepping in front of you. "Don't talk about your sister like that" he glared at Dustin.
"Yeah, man, we get it if this is uncomfortable for you, but we love your sister, okay?" Eddie told him, walking over with Steve.
"Look, Dusty, I'm really sorry you found out this way. I was actually planning on telling you tonight, I swear. But... I love them both too" you said, walking closer to Dustin and grabbing his hand. "I have never been happier and it would mean a lot to me if you could be happy for us as well" you said, pleading with your eyes as he glared at Steve and Eddie behind you and then back to you. "Please, Dusty?"
"Fine!" he sighed dramatically. "But I have one condition!"
"What?" you asked.
"No touching, or kissing, or giving each other those looks when I'm present" he said, pointing at Eddie and Steve who were staring at each other with a look you knew too well.
"Oh, come on, Henderson" Steve said, walking over to you and wrapping his arm around your waist. "You know we can't do that" he said, kissing your cheek as you chuckled.
"Yeah, I mean, there is absolutely no way that we can resist" Eddie said, doing the same thing and they started kissing your neck.
"EW! NO! What the fuck!" Dustin said, covering his eyes and running to his room, slamming the door shut.
"Well, that could have gone better" you said, turning to look at Steve and Eddie.
"Could have gone worse" Eddie suggested.
"I hate you" you smirked at your boyfriends, giving them each a peck on the lips.
"Thought you loved us, sunshine" Steve laughed.
"Of course, I do, you idiots" you smiled.
"So, next round?" Eddie asked, pulling you closer.
"I think we've traumatized Dustin enough for today" you laughed.
"So... pizza and movies?" Steve asked.
"Yes! Pizza and movies!" you all heard Dustin yell from his room.
The End
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A/N: hope you liked it :D
#stranger things#stranger things dialogues#stranger things imagine#eddie munson#steve harrington#steddie#eddie munson dialogue#steve harrington dialogue#steddie dialogue#eddie munson imagine#steve harrington imagine#steddie imagine#eddie munson x reader#steve harrington x reader#steddie x reader#eddie munson x steve harrington
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art dump timeee
lots of pokemon stuff i hope you like it :)
this is a looooooooooong post
Originally these were just design mashups, at least, that was the plan for my "redesigns"... but it really made me realize how little they change Red throughout the generations. hence why he looks VERY similar to his canon design, i just added some things i guess.
for Blue i could go absolutely ham with things i wanted in his design since there's so much to choose from. the fang idea comes from my friend.
also, these are pretty much used for an AU based off of the RG project romhack by @shima-draws (i hope tagging is okay aaa) bc i played it with my friend and we really liked it and it converted him into a pokemon fan and namelessshipper :)
In the end we made our own AU based off of it because other characters got thrown into it. we're continuing the timeline in soul silver :p
Here's a design for Leaf, she's Red's sister in my headcanon, i again went for the design mashup thing so that's why she looks like a mashup of Green and Leaf. i don't have much to say here....
Then there's some designs i can't show but it's for the reason that they are just human + trainer versions of sonic exes (not joking, i wish i was. my friend dragged them into our mini-roleplays, only two and they were Red's traveling companions and later Kris's too.)
Then here's a redesign inspired by other Daisy designs. dunno why but i just wanted her to be pink....
Eepy...
even more eepies....
then i made some silly redesigns/design mashups for Ash and Gary
And drew Red and Blue in alola. married dudes -w-
Just in general my headcanon is that Red collects keychains, he probably has boxes worth of keychains and puts different ones on his bag every day, he even did this as a child he just didn't stop even into adulthood. Still a kid at heart with his silly keychains
more headcanon rambles: Blue hates the cold but loves the warmth and Red loves the cold and hates the warmth. please put him into a freezer he can't handle the heat of alola-
also yeah i know i messed up the number on Red's shirt, i learned how to draw 96 after this, i promise
And now we get to Pokemon Soul Crystal,,, which is just pokemon soul silver but with a patch that makes Lyra into Kris lol
Here she is!! i tried incorporating some bits from Lyra and her comfy outfit is based off of Gold
i swear i love Kris's design in canon, the hair is a lil funky tho so i made the pigtails a bit shorter and poofier
then we got Silver here... again not much change, i love his design, i just wanted to add some moon details bc why not
I'll batch these together! here's some redesigns for the OG trio for Soul Crystal
Blue is supposed to look like he's been crying (sorry Blue :C)
Red just makes me think of pokepastas im sorry, once he gets off mt. silver he'll get a haircut.
Leaf is just. i dunno, i don't really know how to characterize her... she cares a lot about people but she's kinda bitchy about it. tough love i guess.. I think after soul crystal is over i'll get working on an continuation of that that isn't tied to a game where she gets more of an important role so i can work on her character.
Blue is wearing lots of reds/warmer tones cause why not and Red is supposed to wear lots of blues/colder tones to give a little bit of a connection i guess.
Now, here's the final drawing before i show shitpost stuff, this was drawn with a drawing tablet rather than a mouse like usual
lines are a little funky but i like how this looks, i just need a bit more practice, i'm rusty on drawing with a pen
and now, shitpost:
i love Cinder the Typhlosion,,,, he's so cute
i know this is at the top of the post but i wanna put this here again and credit the idea for this: here.
that's all, goob bye i'll go back into hibernation
#pokemon#blue oak#leaf pokemon#red pokemon#redesigns#namelessshipping#daisy oak#ash ketchum#gary oak#silver pokemon#kris pokemon#trace pokemon
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Shoutout to this absolutely braindead interaction I had at work last night 🤪
I go on break and during that time coworker gets an order for a pizza, but customer refused to take a pager and apparently just said 'ill be back in a bit'
I finish break, see pizza which has been sitting for at least 30 mins at this point, enquire and get told above story. Okay cool beans, guess they can just get cold takeaway or something?? Idfk
Customer never ends up coming back. I keep food in fridge up until close, then chuck it assuming they forgot. Keep receipt for manager incase they need to do a refund tomorrow bc thoughtful employee
2 hours later at 3am 30 minutes after close, I hear a knock on order window and go check
Me: Hi sorry we're closed
Cus: I ordered food, the pizza
Me: I'm sorry... The pizza from... 2 hours ago?
Cus: ye, I told the other guy I'd be back
Me: so... did you give him an exact time?
Cus: No. Just when I was finished.
Me: Okay well I threw it out, because, you know, you ordered it 2 hours ago and never came back.
Cus: So you can just remake it?
Me: no, we're closed. My equipment is off and pulled apart. It'd take at least another 30 mins just to put together and heat up again, ergo I can't remake it. I can give you a refund?
Cus: But I paid for the pizza
Me: Yeah I know. If you had've let my coworker know I could've made it before close for now, but I can't do much beside give you a refund now.
Cus: I'm hungry tho
Me: Well I mean the only thing I have on hand is sandwich bread rn sooo
Cus: Okay, toasted?
Me: No. Again, my equipment is off and pulled apart/soaking
Cus: Well this is inconvenient. What's the point in working in customer service if you're not going to serve the customer?
My dude, my guy, my brother in Christ. You order a pizza 2 hours beforehand. Don't specify when you'll be back, then show up half an hour after close and want me to mess the place up again cause wittle baby is hungwy? 🙂
We ended up in a stalemate with me refusing to inconvenience myself cause customer was a jackass until they finally just opted for a refund. But maybe next time just don't be a total d-bag and if you want something made for 2 hours from that time maybe, idk, FUCKING ASK FOR IT TO BE MADE IN 2 HOURS TIME
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“Do you have an actual death wish? Like, literally? Are you trying to get yourself killed?” Eddie huffed, throwing his hands up into the air. “Oh my god. Does your family not own a single fucking ice pack?!”
Richie snorted, wincing a little as his black eye squinted a bit at the motion. “Chill out, dude. I think we have a bag of peas behind the waffles, if you’d spend two seconds actually fucking looking.”
Eddie opened up the freezer again and paused. “Oh,” he mumbled, grabbing the peas and marching back over to Richie. “Put this on your eye.”
“And here I thought you were going to make me a nice split pea soup with—Ow! Fuck, dude!”
Eddie smirked, his hand smushing the peas into Richie’s face. “Keep that on there. It’ll reduce the swelling.”
“I know how ice works, dipshit,” he grumbled, but did as he was told.
Eddie plopped down into the seat across from him at the table, frowning, and after a moment, rummaged through his fanny pack, looking ashamed. “Your glasses got pretty messed up when he punched you,” he sighed, placing the heaping pile of plastic and glass on the table. “Sorry. I know how your parents get about that.”
Richie grabbed them and shrugged, tossing them aside. “They’ll get over it.”
The silence weighed heavily over them for another long moment before Eddie finally cracked. “What happened before I got there, Rich? Why were you mouthing off to Henry like that?”
But Richie couldn’t answer that honestly, could he? He couldn’t admit that this was all because of the shit Henry had been saying about his friends: Bill’s brother, and Stan’s religion, and calling Eddie a little f—
Nope. No way. What Eddie didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.
“I was just being an ass,” he said instead. “You know how I get.”
Eddie snorted. “Yeah, your big fucking mouth.”
“All the better to please your mother with, Eds.”
“Ugh, gross! Beep beep, you creep!”
Richie grinned, laughing as Eddie tried to smash the peas even harder into his eyeball.
Nope, he decided. Eddie didn’t need to know a thing.
#reddie#car’s fanfiction#eddie kaspbrak#richie tozier#heey! car is feeling good enough to write! yay!
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