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daddyy333 · 1 year

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Worthy | Lo’ak x Metkayina Reader

if you’d like you can reblog my original work, but please don’t post it without credit. if you take inspiration from my ideas please tag me, I’d like to see how someone else would write it

word count: 5.6k

warnings: uhh reader and lo’ak are pretty sad without each other, reader says “wouldn’t be the worst thing” when lo’ak says the people believe she is dead, ?

anything in bold like this in the middle of a sentence means it’s either Na’vi or meant to be in Na’vi but I don’t trust the translation websites so I just use the few words I know and make do with it💀

summary: Lo’ak’s parents don’t approve of your relationship and it makes you question if you’re worthy of Lo’ak’s love

“Ma sempul…Ma sa’nok?” He asked as he came into the marui. By now, the Sully family had been a part of the Metkayina clan for a year and had become very well acquainted with many of the clan and were getting used to life as reef people.

“Yes, Lo’ak?” Neytiri said and looked up at him. He cleared his throat and said “oel ngati kameie” while gesturing to them. Neytiri and Jake smiled and responded the same.

“I have someone I’d like you to meet…You have been pressuring me since I completed iknimaya to choose a woman…and I have chosen” he said and their eyes widened. They did not want him to choose a Metkayina woman, the goal was to be able to go back to the Omaticaya one day.

“She is Metkayina?” Neytiri asked and Lo’ak nodded softly, pulling you into the marui. You waved softly and looked down, really nervous. Neytiri sighed and said “you cannot mate with a Metkayina woman. Is she even a good hunter? I’ve never even heard of her. Is she even worthy of your love? What is her name?”

“Y/n te Ayeykí Eyati’ite” he said proudly, holding your hand and caressing it softly. Tears quickly filled in your eyes, you tried to stop seeing him because you knew neither of your parents would ever allow you to be together but he just kept insisting, and you were head over heels for the forest boy.

“Does she know the first thing about healing? What if something were to happen, may the great mother never allow it, and you were the one to become the next Olo’eyktan? She would become Tsahìk, Lo’ak this is a major responsibility. You cannot just pick any girl. She is not worthy of being our Tsahìk” Jake said and Lo’ak scoffed.

He shook his head and said “you are being such hypocrites! Dad was just an avatar and you mated with him. And y/n is no ordinary girl. She’s the best hunter I’ve seen, and you don’t even know how many times she's been there to heal me when grandmother was not there? She is so kind, you don’t understand. You won’t even give her a chance? She takes care of me and loves me so much. She is a beautiful woman and a beautiful person, she’s the best woman for me”

“Lo’ak it’s fine…I-I’ll just go, okay? I won’t t-talk to your son anymore I’m s-sorry-” you said and tried to pull away but he stopped you. You let out a shaky breath, pleading with your eyes for him to let you go. He shook his head and said “I will mate with this woman, and she will be my wife and there is nothing you can do about it. I love her so much, and I know Eywa put her in my life for a reason. She will be your daughter in law and she will be my mate. I do not care what you think!”

“Lo’ak do not disobey your parents…maybe there is someone better for you. You deserve the best,” you said, pulling away from him. He tried to grab you again and you shook your head and said “ma Lo’ak…this was never going to work. I will miss you so much, but you are destined for great things. You are Toruk Makto’s son, it’s important you live up to that. I’ll…I’ll see you around”

You smiled a little and left, wiping your tears away. He scoffed and said “how could you do this?! Neteyam is very in love with Tsireya, we all see it and you don’t even care! Why is it that everything I do is wrong in your eyes?! The last thing I want is a life without her”

“Lo’ak, we will go back to the Omaticaya eventually and you will choose a woman then. Neteyam as well,” Neytiri said and he shook his head. He felt the tears fall down his face as he said “I know if Neteyam came to you and said he’d chosen Tsireya as his mate you would support him but you two just hate everything I do. I never do anything right, and every time I’m happy somehow it gets destroyed. I- I loved her! She saw me, and I saw her. We truly saw each other, I’ve never felt so connected to someone. Please, just let me have this one thing”

“Lo’ak, no one has ever mated outside their clan, we don't know what could happen. What will happen when she becomes pregnant? Think of how hard the child’s life would be with a Metkayina’s tail and Omaticaya arms? You think Ao’nung makes fun of you, he’ll make your child cry because of his different it looks” he said and Lo’ak wiped his tears.

Neytiri took a deep breath and said “my child…” “no…no, leave me alone,” Lo’ak said, backing up. He couldn’t imagine a life without you. He wasn’t living until he met you, just simply existing. You make life so much more worth living.

“I…I cannot believe you. She makes me so happy, far happier than I’ve ever been trying to be another Neteyam for you. All you see me as is a soldier, just some warrior to train. I still have wants and needs, and I need to be with her!” He said and Neytiri sighed softly. He shook his head and left, wiping his tears away harshly.

“Lo’ak!” Neytiri said and he yanked his arm from her grip. She looked down and took a deep breath. Jake sighed and said “he really wants to be with her…what’s the worst that could happen? So what if their children look different? Everyone thinks our children have “demon blood”. They’re unique, that’s all. Lo’ak’s children would also look a little different as well,”

“He needs to mate with an Omaticaya woman. There’s too much uncertainty if he mates with a Metkayina woman” she said and Jake shook his head.

Meanwhile, you had gone missing. No one in the clan knew where you were, a younger Metkayina saw you get on your ilu and leave without a word. Eyati, your mother, was terrified. Mawu, your father, wore a similar look as he held his mate, comforting her.

“Why would she just leave?!” Eyati cried, shaking her head. Mawu placed his hands on her growing stomach, trying to calm her down. He kissed her head and said “do not stress, Eyati. It is not good for the baby, and our daughter will be back, she wouldn’t just leave the clan like that without a word. She just needs time,”

“I am so sorr-” Lo’ak said and Be’yati, your older brother, scoffed. He pushed him and Lo’ak nearly fell, but he didn’t even care to defend himself. He didn’t care what happened to him, if he joined Eywa tomorrow then so be it. Without you, he didn’t care much for his life.

“Stop it! It is not his fault! She chose to run off. Everyone…keep an eye out and I want to know when she comes back as soon as one of you see’s her, you tell me. Even if you’re not sure. My daughter will come home, I’m sure of it” Mawu said and everyone nodded.

Lo’ak shook his head and went to a more secluded part of the island, a place you two used to go to a lot. It had so many pretty flowers, and there were a few trees and it was a little more grassy than sandy. It reminds him of the Omaticaya’s forest and hometree.

You told him how happy you were that he still felt like he had a little piece of his home with him. You caressed his hands as he told you stories of his childhood and what it was like in the forest. How beautiful it was there. How he wants to take you one day.

You and your ilu had gone to an island pretty far away, you discovered it when your parents first started letting you go on your own and have gone there many times since. You’ve even brought Lo’ak there, but only twice in the time they’d been there so he probably wouldn’t be able to find you.

You were missing for 5 days before you decided it was time to come back, you knew you were stressing your mother and didn’t want to harm her or your unborn sibling. But in those 5 days, Lo’ak was really starting to lose himself. He didn’t leave the marui unless absolutely necessary, and he was barely eating which concerned Neytiri and Jake and the kids, Kiri especially.

Tuk would try to play with him and he would just sit there, too overwhelmed with thoughts of you. Your eyes, the beautiful blue-green hue they had. Your smile, and your soft lips that kissed his temple when he was stressed or upset. Your hands, how skilled they were. How they would expertly make the perfect pastes or powders or drinks that healed him when he was injured or feeling ill. How they braided his hair to perfection when it was getting grown out. How they massaged his sore muscles after a long day of hunting for food or playing with the younger members of the clan, or swimming with Payakan.

You were so kind too, so generous. You almost always had a small child wanting to sit with you at dinner time, and whenever someone asked, no matter who, you’d give them some of your food. You helped the little ones learn to swim better, teach the hunters in training how to aim a little better. Any time someone even had the slightest scratch, you were quick to clean it and make something to heal it taster. You always helped when you could and where you could, he wondered if you even made time for yourself at all.

He missed you so much. He just wanted to see you again, hear your voice, feel your skin on his as he hugged you again. He could barely function a few days without you, what if you never came back?

Tsireya eventually visited him and nearly dragged him out of his marui. She brought him to play on the shore, just to hopefully lift his spirits a little. However, no one realized you were coming in on your ilu as you were pretty far away and most were on another part of the island preparing for dinner.

You saw her hugging him and them laughing together. You instantly stopped, watching for a few minutes. She splashed him with water and he tackled her softly, splashing her like crazy. It’s the first time he’d even smiled since you left, but you didn’t know that.

To you, it seemed like he had moved on. Maybe his parents just didn’t like you. Jake came over with a smile, trying to seperate the two and getting splashed a little. They splashed him back and he picked Lo’ak up and threw him over shoulder, grabbing Tsireya’s hand and bringing them to the rest of the clan so they could eat.

You blinked some tears away and turned around heading back to the island. 3 weeks of not having you in his life passed. Tonowari and a few others went out searching for you a few times but were unsuccessful. You mother and father were getting worried, and your father was especially worried this would complicate the birth of their newest child.

It finally clicked for Lo’ak, you had to be at that island. He immediately ran out of the marui, calling his ilu. Jake and Neytiri tried to stop him but he was already too far away. He’d never found it so fast, especially since he was still truly getting the hang of riding a marui but he was there in a matter of minutes.

He swam to the area you always did, climbing up using rocks that seemed almost perfectly placed for someone to climb up. It was a short climb, the island was a bit above water and before he knew it there you were.

You were sleeping at the moment, but there was a rock which looked to be a makeshift plate with fish on it, and noticed a little area with a now burnt out fire a few feet away, probably where you cooked your food. There was a small bag, probably your belongings you took with you. He noticed your ilu swimming around the neighboring islands that were also small and empty.

“Sweetheart?” He asked, carefully approaching you. He shook you slightly and you immediately jumped up, pushing him away as you took a defensive position, pulling your knife out and hissing at him. He put his hands up and said “woah, woah woah just me” He smiled, god that stupid smile.

You hated him. Well, you wanted to. And you did, barely, because he made you fall in love with him. With his stupid face and his stupid smile and his stupid person. You’d always love Lo’ak more than you could ever hate him.

“Even worse,” you said mostly sarcastically, sarcastic remarks being something you’d picked up from him in the first place. You put your knife away and sat back on the makeshift bed, not wanting to look at him.

“Go away, Lo’ak. You cannot be with me, I’m not going to go against your parents” you said and ran your fingers over the dirt and moss and rocks in front of you. He sighed and said “y/n, you need to come home. You’re stressing your mother, she needs to be calm especially because she is growing the little sister you want so bad,”

“We don’t know that” you mumbled and he continued. “Your father is struggling just as much. You need to come back home, and help everyone stop worrying so much” he said and you shook your head.

Tears filled your eyes as you said “I cannot go back home and have to see you every day, Lo’ak. It…it makes me so sad. And we cannot be together, even if we want to because your mother is right. I am not worthy of being a Tsahík. You need a girl who is…who is mighty. Who is strong, who is skilled and- and you- you deserve better than me, Lo’ak. Please, go away”

“It makes me sad as well, but you cannot stay here the rest of your life. And I don’t care what my mother says, you would be the best Tsahík the Na’vi has seen. Eywa made you special, y/n. You are meant to be a Tsahík. Screw what I think, everyone misses you, not just me, and all of the people are praying to Eywa constantly for your safe return. They are worried for your safety, many believe you are dead” he said and a new wave of tears hit you.

You sniffled and said “wouldn’t be the worst thing” He gasped slightly, shaking his head. He sat in front of you and said “no, no hey do not say that! Please, do not say that! Y/n, your life means so much to everyone in the clan, please do not say those things. If seeing me makes you feel uncomfortable then…then I will go, okay? Awa’atlu is your home, not mine”

“No, no one goes I- ugh, just go away” you said and stood up, remembering when you saw him with Tsireya. What you didn’t know, was that Kiri followed Lo’ak on her Ikran and now her, Neteyam, Jake, and Neytiri were hiding in some trees on their Ikran’s. They’d been listening the whole time.

He stood up, trying to say something else but just grunts and groans coming out. You scoffed and said “you’re like a baby. Making noises, don’t listen. Go back!” “Y/n-” he said and you shoved him. You wiped your tears and said “No! Go back. Go back to your family, go back to the people, go back to Tsireya! Go!”

“Tsireya?” He asked and you shook your head. You sighed as you said “I was going to come back some time ago. But…I saw you with Tsireya. You were playing in the water and…you seemed happy without me. So I left you be. You shouldn’t be falling in love with Metkayina women, but obviously if you’re so happy with her you don’t need me”

“No- n- Tsireya is just…she was just trying to cheer me up, I- I want you, y/n. You make me happy. You make life feel like it’s worth living. Not her. Please, please come home. You’ll never have to see my stupid face again,” he said and you groaned.

You pushed him away as he got too close as you said “you are stupid. Stay away from me and let me be!” “Y/n-” he said before you both stopped, Atokirina came over to you. A few of them landed on you, and then moved to Lo’ak and then they left.

You gasped, watching as they flew away. “Eywa…” you said softly and sighed. You called your Ilu, diving into the water and riding back home as fast as you could. Lo’ak sighed and took a deep breath, diving under and following you home.

You ran to your mother and father’s marui and knew that’s what Eywa was telling you, you found your father comforting your mother as she clung onto him, face scrunched up in pain. “Ma sa’nok!” You said, running over, cupping her cheek. Her eyes widened as she continued taking the deep breaths your father guided her to take, grabbing your arm.

“Y/n,” she sighed, smiling slightly. As soon as the pain passed, she hugged you and your father wrapped you in a bear hug. “I’m so sorry, Mother, I’m so sorry” you said and she shushed you, smoothing your frizzy, grown out braids back.

“You make it up to me by helping me through this. Hurts just as much as when I had you. My beautiful girl,” she said and kissed your cheek. You looked up at your dad and he said “come, my loves, we must tell the clan. Your mother would like everyone to pray for her and the baby”

You helped her out of the marui and everyone congratulated her on the nearing arrival of her second child, and playfully scolded you for leaving for so long. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Lo’ak watching you. The little kids were swarming you, all begging to be held and told about where you were.

You took a deep breath and he gave you a soft smile. You blinked a few times and bent down, hugging all the little ones and promising you’d never ever leave again. Eventually, you need to go back to the marui to help your mother but you promised you would spend as much time as you could with them when you were able to.

Your mother spent the entire night and most of the next day bearing the pain of childbirth, before your father delivered your baby sister as your mother screamed and squeezed your hand. You were so happy, hugging your mother tight as your father kissed her cheek, laying the whimpering baby on her chest.

She was a little small, but still perfect. She cooed and gurgled, looking up at you and your mother. Eyati connected her kuru to the baby’s and she instantly made a louder coo, reaching up for your mothers face. You smiled and said “she’s perfect, ma sa’nok”

“I’m so glad I have both my girls with me now…please don’t ever leave again, maite” she said and you smiled. You kissed her temple and said “I will not, ma sa’nok. I made a promise to Eywa, and asked her to please make sure I never even think of leaving you and my sweet little sister again”

She smiled and you both looked down at the new baby. You and your father took care of your mother and the new baby for a few hours before they decided on a name for her, Khädina. It was perfect for your precious baby sister.

You spent a few hours with her while your mother slept, and Lo’ak came to visit you. You looked up at him and rolled your eyes. “Go away. This is a happy time for me and my family and I do not want to see you right now” you said and he took a deep breath.

You caressed Khädina’s cheek and he said “I just wanted to say congratulations. I know you’ve always wanted a sibling, especially a sister. I- I brought something to eat. And some for your mother as well. Tell her I saw congratulations. She made two very beautiful girls, she deserves a lot more”

You smiled softly, thanking him. He said hello to the baby and left you alone, but you could stop thinking about him. You kissed Khädina’s head and said “what do you think, tsmuke? What should I do? I…as much as I wish I didn’t…I see him. I see all of him and I just…I am- I can’t stand to be away from him. As the humans say, I love him. He is…not perfect, at least in others eyes. But to me he’s amazing, and he’s special. He’s not like the other Na’vi. He’s adventurous and he likes to explore and do the things he wants even when it gets him in trouble. His father gets upset at him for that,”

You giggled, thinking about the memories of him being scolded by Jake. She cooed and you said “He…He chose me as his mate. But, he is Omaticaya and I, as well as you, are Metkayina and it’s not very common for different clans to mate. He is forest people, we are reef people. It could be hard for us to have children one day, it could be hard on those children. There’s no telling what they’ll be like, no one’s ever done this before. Even so, I still want to be with him. I believe Eywa was trying to warn me about your arrival yesterday, but I think she was also telling me something about me and Lo’ak. I’m not sure what yet, though. I think I must visit the Spirit tree and ask her what she was trying to tell me. Our great mother knows all, Khädina. She will guide me on the right path, she will show me what is best. I do…I hope that he is what’s best. I would really like to be with him. He’s very handsome don’t you think? And he’s so kind. I…I was very mean to him earlier. I was upset. But, he still comes to see you and be here for me, because he knows how happy I was about getting to meet you. He is nice that way. He sees all of the people the best he can, and he cares for them, even when it seems like he doesn’t, even when they hurt him. He cares for everyone. Even if he doesn’t know it. I just hope the great mother is able to tell me he is best for me”

Khädina yawned and you chuckled. You wiped away the few tears that slipped and said “I’m sorry, little one, have I made you tired? I’m sure all the work Ma sa’nok did to bring you into the world probably exhausted you too” Eyati chuckled at that and you looked over, smiling.

“Ma sa’nok. How are you?” You asked, tucking a braid behind her ear. She smiled and said “happy,” She sat up with a wince and reached for Khädina. You handed her to your mother and she smiled.

She moved her top and began to feed her, smiling as she cooed and squirmed happily. “I was awake the whole time. I heard everything you say about the forest boy. You want to be with him, it almost sounds like you need it. I understand, daughter. I’ve talked with your father while you were gone and he understands as well. If his parents approve, we will allow you to mate with that boy. Just…be sure. Okay?” She said and you smiled, more tears spilling down your face.

She wiped them away and you nodded, thanking her. Your father came back and held all 3 of his girls in his arms, feeding you two some food and admiring his new daughter.

A few days later, your mother was healed better and she was able to leave the marui, introducing everyone to the new baby. Once again, Lo’ak stood off to the side watching. You took a deep breath, smiling at him and gently taking Khädina from your mothers arms to show the little kids.

He couldn’t help but think about that being your child one day. Him standing behind you, holding you in his arms as you showed off the little baby you made together. He’d want them to look like you. So he could look at them and see the girl he loves most. Also, in case something happens to his ambitious and slightly impulsive girl and he no longer gets to wake up next to her every day. That way he’d have a little you to keep him from giving up.

He wanted to be with you so bad. He wanted to hug you and kiss you and make love to you as much as possible. He was so in love with you. He always told you Eywa had been creating you since the time of the first songs, making sure you were as perfect as possible, which you were.

Once you were able to have some time to yourself, you went to the spirit tree. You swam around for a bit, interacting with the animals. At the eclipse, you connected your kuru to the tree and closed your eyes. “Great mother, I need help. I…I feel very connected to Lo’ak, one of the forest people who came to Awa’atlu for safety. He…he actually makes me feel safe, and also very happy. But…he is Omaticaya. His parents do not want us to be together. I…I don’t know what I should do. Please, Eywa, I need your guidance” you told her, smiling at the thoughts of Lo’ak.

Atokirina came over to you, hovering right over your heart. You smiled and told Eywa of Khädina’s birth, even though you knew she already knew. “She’s beautiful, Eywa. I’m forever grateful for such a beautiful gift from the great mother” you told her, now wanting to hold her again.

Once you were down, you headed home and ran into Tsireya. “Hi…I- I heard Lo’ak talking to Kiri about some things. I just…I wanted to say that these last few weeks have just been friendship with Lo’ak. I actually…well I-I’ve been trying to help him look for you. And trying to boost his mood. He got really upset because he missed you. He sees you, y/n. More than anyone else. He sees you so clear he cannot handle it sometimes. Please…do not let me get in the way of your relationship. What you have…is special. And I…well I sort of…if I were to choose a brother it’d probably be Neteyam” she said, really shy as she spoke the last part.

You smiled and said “you are attracted to Neteyam, sister?” Her bioluminescent freckles glowed as she nodded, looking over at the brothers braiding little Tuk’s hair. You smiled and said “you should try. Ronal and Eyati are good friends, maybe she would allow it” “no, I can’t…I am going to be the next Tsahík. I should mate with a Metkayina man” she said and you rolled your eyes.

You hugged her and said “thank you, sister. Thank you,” She smiled and said “you’re welcome. Go be with your man now,” You giggled and walked over to him, he instantly looked up and was starstruck.

He had finally truly looked at you for the first time in weeks, god he almost forgot just how gorgeous you are. Your hips swayed beautifully, your bioluminescent freckles glowing beautifully, your outfit accentuating your body in ways that did things to Lo’ak.

“Lo’ak? Can we…talk?” You asked and Neteyam’s eyes widened. He chuckled and said “you upset your woman, Lo’ak? Better be careful, we all know she could kick your skxawng ass anytime” you laughed a little, a beautiful sound to him. Nearly as beautiful as his mothers song chord.

You smiled and tapped his shoulder as you walked by, signaling for him to follow you. You walked to a secluded part of the island, no maruis, no people. Just trees and rocks and the water. “Lo’ak?” You asked, he seemed a bit…uncomfortable.

“Yes?” He said, raising his eyebrows slightly. You noticed his tail moving quite erratically, he was nervous. “I…I have had some time to think. I asked Eywa for guidance, as well and…I think mating with you is something that is meant to happen. Our love for each other is something very special, Lo’ak. I don’t think Eywa put us in the other's life on accident” you said and he looked down.

You grabbed his hand and he said “you should be with a Metkayina man…the clan would be upset at you, and they’d turn their back on you like they did me. I’m not good for you, y/n. Neteyam is a better option. I’m…I’m alien, y/n. All they’ll see is demon blood”

Tears filled your eyes as you whimpered. “Lo’ak…oel ngati kameie” He looked up at you and a tear slipped down his cheek. He looked so hurt, so lost. You cupped his cheeks, trying to force him to look at you.

“oel ngati kameie” he whispered back softly, placing his hands on your waist. You gasped slightly, you didn’t expect him to give in so easily. You pressed your forehead to his and closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. “Please stay with me…we can- w-we can run away together and we’ll…we’ll make our own clan,” he said, obviously joking.

“We’ll…we’ll bring some others and then our kids can mate with some of them and we’ll make an entirely new clan” he said and you smiled. You caressed his cheek and said “and what would our clan be called?”

“Mmmm y/n” he said and you giggled. You sniffled and said “you can’t name our clan after me” “but you are so incredible, y/n. And mighty. Anyone who gets to say your name and see your beautiful face should consider themselves lucky” he said and your bioluminescent freckles lit up and you giggled again.

He pulled away and you looked up at him, biting your lip. You looked down at his lips and then back up at him, and he nodded. You leaned in and kissed him softly, his hands finding your hips he pulled you into him. You were practically flush against him as he dipped you back a little.

He moved his hands to your back, pulling you impossibly closer and causing you to moan a little into the kiss. You pulled away and he chased your lips a little, making you chuckle. He smiled and said “I love you, y/n. I cannot live without you, I mean it. It’s been so hard these last few weeks I don’t want to ever be away from you again”

“I love you too, Lo’ak. I’m so glad Eywa brought you here. You make me so happy, my love” you said, still caressing his cheek. He kissed you again and you smiled through it, jumping up and wrapping your legs around his hips after he tapped your thigh softly.

Neteyam, Kiri, Jake, Neytiri, and Tuk had all once again been spying and Neteyam started cheering him on. Kiri giggled and did the same, and then they all did. You gasped, hiding your face in his chest from embarrassment and he blushed. He loved when you did that.

“Yeaaa! My brother finally brainwashed a girl into being with him!” Neteyam said, placing his hands on shoulders and slapping them slightly. Neytiri raised an eyebrow and said “who taught you to kiss like that, boy?”

“Ma sa’nok…” he said, a little embarrassed. You giggled and looked up at him, kissing his warm cheek. He rubbed your back and said “just a natural I guess” specifically looking at Neteyam with a boyish grin on his face.

“Alright, you may have settled on a mate but don’t be having all kinds of babies yet. You're barely Na’vi adults, why don’t you act like teenagers for a few more years?” Jake said and you nodded. Lo’ak smiled and said “of course, dad. Cannot wait to father your children but I must show you how amazing you are first”

Neytiri placed her hands on your shoulders and said “welcome to the family, sweetheart,” and kissed your head. Neytiri sighed and said “be a gentleman and take care of her, Lo’ak. Or I’ll make sure she kicks your ass”

He rubbed your back, whispering a promise to never ever hurt you in your ear. “Come on, you gotta finish my hair,” Tuk whined, grabbing both her brother’s arms. You chuckled and let go of him, pushing him so he didn’t make the excuse of being with you to get out of braiding sweet little Tuk’s hair.

“I’ll never understand why you want him, but I’m glad you two are happy. I was sick of taking care of his mopey ass while you were gone” Kiri said and you laughed, watching your sweet soon to be mate make silly faces at his little sister as Neteyam continued braiding.

“He’s perfect to me…I cannot wait to spend the rest of our lives together” you said, biting your lip. Kiri rolled her eyes and Jake and Neytiri chuckled, shaking their heads. Lo’ak looked over at you and winked, making your bioluminescent freckles shine like stars of the night sky. You smiled and winked back.

God, you’d do anything for the rebellious forest boy.

As of now l'm writing for

Eddie Munson

Joseph Quinn

Jamie Bower

Steve Harrington

Robin Buckley

Eddissy

Maya Hawke

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

Lo’ak

Neteyam

So just comment the taglist you want to be added to and l'll add you :)

#avatar 2 #avatar #avatar the way of water #lo’ak x y/n #lo’ak imagine #lo’ak x reader #lo’ak fic #lo’ak x metkayina!reader #lo’ak x metkayina!y/n #Lo’ak te Suli Tseyeyk’itan

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safetycar-restart · 6 months

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Shels welcome back i’ve missed you so much! i’m so so excited and filled with ideas. i feel like we need to talk about little!Lando after his crash in Vegas? i feel like as soon as he was out of the hospital and back in the hotel he would just slip immediately and it’s so sad because his birthday was supposed to be fun but he got in a crash but you’re there to pick him up and cuddle him and tell him it’s gonna be okay? just a thought lol

🔙🦴anon

Aw yes we have to discuss this!! I know this GP was last week, but this idea should absolutely be discussed any way. I'm also really vibing with the little drivers lately, so this is great.

I actually think Lando would feel himself start to slip the moment he gets told he'll have to go to the hospital? He's fine until then, disappointed and sore of course, but he's fine. He hasn't seen you yet, having been taken straight to the medical centre.

And now they're telling him he has to go straight to the hospital? That is when he starts to feel fear creeping up, because that means it could be serious.

He has his trainer with him, but when he asks if you can come with him, they refuse? They say only a few team members can come and that they don't have time to find you.

That's when he starts to feel himself wanting to slip, because now he's scared and lonely and he just desperately wants to hold your hand and have you tell him it'll all be okay.

It's a nightmare after that because the hospital is so loud and so bright and people are saying such big words to him and he's so confused. Of course his trainer tries to help, but there's no one other than you that can offer him the comfort he needs.

You wait anxiously to hear any news, and thankfully they tell you quickly that all the checks were fine. You want to head to the hospital, of course, but realistically that would take hours with how much traffic there is, and you soon hear Lando is heading back to the circuit so you just wait for him.

Poor Lando just wants to cry on the way back to the track, curling up in a little ball in the ambulance and sniffling because he's just so sad and so uncomfortable. His whole body hurts, and to hear he went to the hospital for nothing? It's even sadder.

And it's his birthday!! Worst birthday ever.

You're waiting for him in his driver room when he gets back, and maybe he actually refuses your hug? He's seconds away from slipping and he knows if he hugs you, he won't be able to stop it. He has to stay big long enough to talk to his team and get back to the hotel, he can't afford to slip before then.

Luckily talking to his team is quick and soon he's on his way back to the hotel with you. You sit in the back of the car with him, holding this hand the whole way there.

And the moment he enters his hotel room, he slips into little space and slips bad. Almost instantly you've got a crying little on your hands.

He throws himself into your arms, clinging to you and crying so hard he can barely breath, in a full blown meltdown brought about by how sore and tired and sad he is. Unfortunately there's very little you can do about any of those things, so you just hold him tight and rub his back, letting him cry himself out.

Eventually he calms down enough for you to realise he's whispering something between tears, mumbling 'it's not fair' over and over again against your chest. Your heart just breaks for him because he's right, it isnt fair and there's nothing you can do about it.

You get him into the bath after his meltdown, washing him with his favourite soap (it's strawberry scented) and then getting him into his comfiest PJs. Maybe putting a diaper on as well? You arent sure how young he's regressed to and you don't want to take any risks.

He's so sad and quiet for the rest of the night, nothing like the happy outgoing little boy he usually is. Instead he clings to you as he sucks his pacifier.

You decide to give him some warm milk before bed, and it turns out to be right call because he relaxes in your arms so nicely, drinking his milk and then snuggling against you for a much needed rest.

You'll celebrate his birthday properly tomorrow.

#post race vibes #little!driver/rider #little!lando #ln #gn!reader #soft soft vibes #🔙🦴

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thannwriting · 2 months

Text

Yang sneaks up on Ruby (Lancaster)

Ruby peeked from behind the tree, watching Jaune chop the wood they were going to use for the campfire. Technically, she was supposed to be gathering berries right now, but she’d already done it.

Berries were nowhere as good as cookies, she harrumphed. And that was final.

No matter how much Ren tried to convince her and Nora otherwise, with his disgusting green smoothie shakes...

Uncle Qrow had made them do everything they needed to do to live out in the wilderness, which included foraging and hunting for food. Once the cookie snacks ran out, there were no more cookies...

Jaune stood tall, a heavy axe in his hand. Ruby watched as he brought it down, grunting, making a noticeable dent. He brought it back up for another round, and slammed it home on top of the wood, splitting it cleanly in two. Both pieces fell to the side, and he was already bending down to get another block to hew.

J-Jaune was shirtless!

Ruby unashamedly watched, as the tight muscles of his arms flexed and rippled with every grunt. With every forceful swing of the axe, muscles across his body rippled. Biceps, triceps, deltoids, pectorals.

In the morning sun, his sweat glistened on his skin. He set the head of the axe into the next chunk of wood, as he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, perspiration dripping onto the ground.

Since when was Jaune lean and beefy, and almost tan? Noodles weren’t supposed to be beefy, they were supposed to be limp and skinny! Beacon, and more specifically, Percy’s and her dad’s training routine, had done him nothing but favors.

“Hey Ruby.”

Ruby would have ‘eeped’ if not for the hand muffling her mouth. She kicked and struggled for a few moments, but eventually gave up. She couldn’t physically overpower Yang.

“So, whatcha looking at?” Yang whispered conspiratorially, “Ladykiller again?”

“What do you mean again?” Ruby whispered back furiously.

“Aww don’t play coy~” her elder sister grinned, “You’ve been watching him for the past thirty minutes haven’t you, you dirty little sister... Watching his muscles at work, dripping sweat~”

Ruby’s face and ears turned red at the image her dirty mind conjured up.

“Yang!” she launched herself at her sister, tackling her into the brush, further from Jaune. Still, it only widened Yang’s stupid grin. They grappled for a few short moments, before Yang came out on top, pinning Ruby beneath her.

“Alright, alright, I think it’s interrogation time,” Yang grinned.

Noooo-

“So, why do you like Jaune?”

“W-What do you mean?” Ruby played innocent.

Yang looked at her.

“Sis, you are the worst liar I’ve ever seen,” Yang rolled her eyes, “Come on now, out with it.”

“Okay, fine!” Ruby tried to throw her hands up in exasperation, but suddenly remembered that Yang had pinned them to her sides.

“I like him because he was there for me, okay? He was just like me. My first friend at Beacon.”

Ruby could still remember when she blew up dust and made a crater, and he was there for me, offering her his hand. It made her feel fuzzy and warm inside, thinking of him. Appearing to her like her knight in shining armor, unafraid and unrelenting.

“We were two awkward dorks that had each others’ backs. He’s nice, and honest, and dorky, but that’s what I like about him. He’s clueless, and dorky, and a klutz, but all the little things he does are what I like about him. He told me about his tr-”

Ruby cut herself off abruptly, internally panicking. She couldn’t betray Jaune’s trust like that! No way! Not after he confided in her!

“He told me about his troubles,” Ruby amended, mentally clapping herself on the back for the quick thinking, “He confided in me. He trusted me. He’s honest, and caring, and kind. That’s what I love about him.”

Ruby finished, looking up at Yang hopefully.

The blonde had a massive grin on her face.

“I think someone’s in love~”

Yang sobered up, “Okay, I approve. You like him for him. You can date him, but on one condition:”

Ruby didn’t like this.

“No fooling around in the dark you know? We’re all trying to sleep, so at least keep it quiet if you’re too pent up, you know~”

Ruby moaned in distress.

—From Chapter 33 of my PJO x RWBY fanfic, Never Change. Feel free to check the fanfic out!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14077305/1/Never-Change

Never Change - Chapter 1 - Wattpad

#lancaster #rwby #yang xiao long #ruby rose #fanfic #jaune arc #never change fanfic

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ravencoloredroses · 11 months

Text

All That Matters

Nyx x Reader (Eris’ daughter)

Summary: Nyx and Eris’ daughter have known each other their whole lives. With a new alliance forming between the Autumn Court and the Night Court, their hatred towards each other will be challenged as they are forced to grow closer.

Word Count: 6,445

Warning: Swearing

A/N: request by anonymous: “Nyx and Eris' daughter!!!! Idk why but the idea of it is just so exciting for me. Since there dads are friendly (kinda) high lords they've known and seen each other around alot but are enemies to lovers” I love these characters so much! I might make another story with them… something like romeo and juliet maybe??

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The last time my father wanted to see me in his office was when I was being sent away to boarding school. I’m not as naive as I was back then, but I know that whatever he has to tell me, I will have little to no say in. That's how it’s always been and always will be.

Being the only daughter to the High Lord of the Autumn Court, I’m widely considered a spoiled brat who gets everything she asks for, which isn’t necessarily false. But people don’t realize, or don’t even want to realize, that every decision is made for me. What I wear, what I eat, how I talk, how much I talk, what events I go to and who I’m allowed to be seen with.

My older brother is the heir, the golden child, he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants without anyone questioning anything. It pisses me off and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.

I take a few deep breaths to try and calm my nerves, emphasis on try, then push open the office door. My father has an unreadable expression on his face as he tells me to take a seat.

“Good morning sweetheart, how did you sleep?”

He’s stalling

“Good morning father, it was alright.”

I take note of his stiff posture, the stacks of documents on his desk and the mountain of crumpled pieces of paper in the garbage can. This can’t be good.

“As you know, it is my responsibility to ensure the safety of our people here in Autumn and sometimes that responsibility falls onto you. Alliances are an important part in ensuring our people are safe, especially in times of war.

“I’ve spoken with my advisers on this matter, but the final decision is mine to make and I’ve decided an alliance with the Night Court is in our best interest.”

I’m not quite sure what any of this has to do with me and my confusion must show on my face because my father elaborates.

“Rhysand, Feyre and I have come to an agreement that you will marry their son Nyx, before the week is out.”

“W-what? Father, you can’t be serious.” This has to be a joke, there is no way he’s actually suggesting I marry that Night Court piece of shit.

Nyx is slightly older than I am, meaning we’ve seen each other at almost every event for our entire lives. He’s never been nice to me, not once. Even when we were really little he was a bully, the type of kid to ‘fall’ off the swing set and then go crying to mommy blaming you for it.

As an adult he’s not any better, walking around like he’s better than everyone and has girls practically falling at his feet when he just looks at them. I don’t blame them though, when you look in his eyes it’s like you’re deep diving in the ocean and will never run out of air. I’ve never seen anything like it and if he ever looked at me the way he does some of them, I don’t even know what I would do.

But he only looks at me with eyes of disgust and hatred, which is fine by me, the feeling is mutual. He might be the most attractive male I’ve ever seen, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s one of the worst people I’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting. And now I’m marrying him.

“I know it’s out of the blue and a little rushed, but this has to be done, it’s already been decided.”

Right. It’s not like I’m gonna be spending the rest of my immortal life with him, so why does it matter what I think?

“Nyx is okay with this?” He shrugs his shoulders.

“You will be moving to the Night Court with him and when Rhysand and Feyre pass on, you will be expected to rule alongside Nyx and produce an heir.”

There’s nothing I can say or do that will make any of this better, so I just put my head down and shut up. I can, and will, cry my eyes out later.

“Yes, father.”

“Perfect. Now, go and enjoy your day, the weather looks lovely.”

This day is going to be anything but enjoyable. As I make my way back up to my room I pass a couple members of our staff, they must be able to tell that I wish to be left alone because they don’t even make eye contact with me. I’m appreciative of that, I don’t think I could handle sympathy looks right now.

Closing and locking my door behind me, I collapse on the ground and let my tears fall, holding my hand over my mouth to control the noise. I sit like this for hours, at least it feels like hours, and when my tears have finally dried up, I head over to my bathroom. I avoid looking at myself in the mirror, turn the faucet on and start to undress.

Normally, a bath with my favorite soaps will soothe me, but this time it does absolutely nothing. I wait for my fingertips to prune to get out of the tub, then change into my nightgown and head to bed; I just need this day to be over.

“You look lovely, dear.” My stylist asks me to twirl so they can view my whole look. I have to admit, I do look lovely, but none of that matters right now, today is the day where I lose whatever remains of my freedom.

“Can I have a minute with my sister?” My brother slips into the room and I give a small nod to my staff.

“Did you know?” I’ve been curious about this since my father told me, he always talks to my brother first.

“I did.” He looks down, ashamed. “Nyx is a good male, he won’t harm you.”

“You can’t possibly promise me that.” He closes the distance between us and grabs my hand.

“You are my favorite sister, if he even pulls a hair out from your head I will knock a few of his teeth out.”

I roll my eyes. “I’m your only sister and you won’t even be living with me anymore, how will you know if he harms me?”

He cracks a smile and releases my hands. “I have my ways dear sis, I have my ways. If you need to, look at me in the audience, I’ll be in the front row.” He winks and walks back out the door, which is soon opened again by a staff member.

“It’s time, my lady.”

I’m handed a bouquet and suddenly I’m walking towards the altar on a flowered path. I round the corner and I feel about 1,000 pairs of eyes on me so I look down and focus on not falling. I make the mistake of looking up and see Nyx standing there waiting for me. His eyes run over my body and I swear there was a smile on his face, but it’s quickly replaced with a blank stare when we make eye contact.

He extends a hand to help me up the small staircase while a member of my ‘bridal party’ takes my bouquet and fixes my dress. I’m mad at myself for the way my heart beats faster because I know it’s just an act for him to appear like a gentleman. I stare down at our joined hands and zone out for a while until I hear Nyx’s deep voice say “I do.” My eyes jump up to meet his and I realize everyone is waiting for me.

“I do.”

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Fuck. I forgot about this part. Nyx pulls me close and presses his lips to mine. I try not to think about how soft they are or how long this is lasting, but it’s pretty damn hard to do that as his hand moves to the back of my neck and presses me closer.

Is this all for show too?

When he finally pulls away and faces us towards the audience, my eyes search out my brother. He’s watching me with somewhat of a proud expression. I notice Nyx’s family -my new family- looking at us with watchful eyes, that’s not surprising based on the little knowledge I have of these people. I’m surprised Rhysand agreed to this if I’m being honest. The Autumn and Night Courts have never gotten along, but once my grandfather died of ‘natural causes’, Rhysand and my dad became friendly with each other.

Nyx walks me back down the aisle without dropping my hand and then we head off to my new home, the Night Court.

It takes longer than I thought it would to get there, but it might have just been because it was dead silent the whole time. I thought that we would be living in the same house as the rest of Nyx’s family, but apparently we have our own place. Maybe it will be better this way, maybe this will give Nyx and I time to get along.

On the outside it looks like just a small cottage nestled into the mountains, but the inside is incredibly spacious and already filled with everything we will need. Newly renovated kitchen and bathroom, a cozy living room, an office and a bedroom with a walk-in closet and an attached bathroom. A bedroom. Singular.

“I’ll sleep on the couch.” He announces while walking past me into the bathroom. Well, that settles that I guess. I change out of my uncomfortable dress and into a large sweater and leggings, then begin to unpack my things. When Nyx re-emerges from the bathroom he has changed as well, trading his tuxedo for a simple cotton t-shirt and sweatpants. I meet him in the hallway and start to ask about what’s next, but he doesn’t let me.

“I don’t care what you do, so long as it doesn’t involve me. I will be gone all day and only return for sleep to appease my parents. Do whatever you want.” He walks out the front door and flys away. Isn’t your wedding supposed to be the happiest day of your life?

I noticed multiple bookshelves when we first arrived, but I didn’t get the chance to see what books were on it. I find one that looks good and sit down on the couch to begin reading.

I didn’t notice the sky getting dark, but as I finish my book my stomach growls and I realize I haven’t eaten since this morning. I go into the kitchen and find a can of chicken noodle soup in one of the cupboards. I grab a pot and start to warm it up. Once it’s at a good temperature, I grab a bowl to pour it in and sit down at the table to eat.

Just as I get up to wash my bowl, Nyx marches through the door. He walks right past me into the bathroom without even a glance. When he comes back out, he plops down on the couch. I sigh and start to get ready for bed. Is this what the rest of my life is gonna be like?

Three days. The same routine for three more days. It’s been almost a full week since our wedding and he’s completely avoiding me.

It’s around dusk when a loud knock sounds at my front door. I mark my place in my book and open the door to find my brother standing there.

“Hey! What are you-“

“Where is he?” He pushes right past me into the house.

“Nyx? He’s. He’s um.”

“You don’t know, do you?” He spins around to face me and I shake my head in embarrassment. “How long has it been since you’ve seen him?”

“Three days.”

“That fucking asshole. Who does he think he is? The fucking king?” He starts to pace around the room and keeps spitting out insults about Nyx.

“Why are you here, brother?” I ask to stop him.

“I told you I’d be checking up on you, I’ve been seeing you doing the same thing everyday. That male has no right to keep you here locked up while he goes out doing mother knows what!”

He’s right. I know he’s right, but why do I feel this urge of protectiveness towards Nyx? He’s probably just busy, right? He’s the heir so he has a bunch of important things to be doing. But all day?

“Don’t worry, I’ll go find him and put an end to this.” He doesn’t give me a chance to reply before he’s storming out the door and slamming it behind him.

It’s not until I’m about to go to bed that I hear the front door open. I sit on the bed and listen for footsteps. They stop outside the bedroom door, I hear a sigh and then a light knock.

“Come in.” I call out, Nyx slowly pushes the door open and steps inside. He looks like he just got punched in the face. His left cheek is already starting to bruise and his eyes are red and puffy. Has he been crying?

“Nyx! What happened?” I go to get up but he puts his hand out signially me to stay sitting.

“I’ll be okay, but-“ He takes a deep breath. “We need to talk.” No good conversation ever starts with that phrase.

“Oh- okay. About what?”

“I want to apologize.” He says as he sits down on the bed next to me. I was not expecting that. “I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting. It’s not fair to you and it was wrong for me to treat you that way. I know you have no obligation to accept my apology, but I’d at least like to have the opportunity to start over. If that’s okay with you.” He takes a deep breath and looks up at me.

“Did I do something to make you hate me?”

“No!” He rakes his hand through his hair and sighs. “When we were kids, I was intimidated by you. You had everything I’ve ever wanted, independence, confidence and I hated you for that.” He looks up at me. “I treated you like shit to make myself feel better. It was dumb and I was an idiot and I’m so sorry. I know that this relationship was forced on both of us, but if you would allow me to, I’d like to actually give it a try. I’ve um- I’ve had feelings for you for a while, and for the longest time I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t true. But it is true and I feel like I ruined any chance that we had and I completely understand if you want nothing to do with me anymor-“

“Nyx.” I cut him off and slowly move my hands to grab his, giving him enough time to pull away if he wanted to. He doesn’t. “I accept your apology. I’m not going to lie, a lot of the things you did hurt me.” I take a deep breath. “But it’s nothing that we can’t work past and I feel like starting over is a great idea.”

I give his hand a slight squeeze and then let go. “Would you like me to grab the first aid kit?” His face has only gotten worse since he came in. He gives me a small nod, I go into the bathroom and come back to hand him the box.

“Thank you.” He whispers and I know he’s not just talking about the kit.

“You’re welcome.”

It’s around time for dinner when I finish putting all my stuff away. I haven’t seen Nyx since we've talked, but I think he’s in the office, so I gently knock on the door and wait for an answer. I hear soft footsteps approach and he slowly opens the door. “I was just wondering if you wanted to eat dinner… with me… soon?”

Nyx looks behind him at the clock on the wall and then steps out into the hallway with me. “Sure.”

I must have been staring at the kitchen for a while because Nyx moves into my vision.

“You’ve never cooked before, have you?”

I shake my head and look down at my hands. “No.” I only know how to heat things up. I’ve never cooked anything so I can already tell this is gonna be embarrassing.

“I can teach you. If you want.” I look up at him, shocked. “My mom, she taught me. It’s not as hard as it seems.” He walks over to one of the cabinets and pulls out a pot. “How do you feel about spaghetti?”

“I think that sounds great.” He gives me a small smile, places the pot on the stove and walks back over to me.

“Okay. Step one, you're going to have to pull your hair up.”I subconsciously reach back to touch my hair.

“Right. I- um. I don’t have a hair tie…” He gets up and walks into the bedroom, then comes back with a scrunchie in hand. I expect him to just hand it to me, but he twirls his finger asking me to turn around. His fingers graze the back of my neck as he picks up my hair and I hold in my shiver. He separates it into three sections and begins braiding. It doesn’t take long before he’s securing the end with the scrunchie and then steps back to view his work.

“T-Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He coughs then steps around me and heads to the stove.

“Step two, boil water.” He picks up the pot, goes to the sink and turns on the faucet. When it’s full he carefully carries it over to the stove and turns on the burner. We stare at it for a while in awkward silence until I hear bubbles popping, which I assume means it’s boiling.

“Step three, noodles.” I remember seeing the box of spaghetti in the pantry when we first arrived, so I go grab it and hand it over to him. He grabs a handful and drops them in the water. “Now we wait.” He says as he puts the box back and grabs a jar of sauce.

It was actually really interesting to see how the noodles slowly fall into the water as they soften up. “How do we know when they are done?”

He looks over at me with a smile on his face and grabs a wooden spoon. “Like this.” He picks up a noodle and throws it at the wall. It falls straight to the ground. “Ah. Needs a couple more minutes.”

“Um… What did you just do?”

“If it sticks, it’s done.”

“Oooooh.”

He laughs. “What did you think I was doing?”

“I honestly have no fucking clue.” Now we’re both laughing and it feels amazing. “Can I try the next one?”

He nods and hands me the spoon. “Go for it.”

I fish around for one in the pot, then fling it onto the wall. It sticks.

“It worked!” I place the spoon back on the counter and turn to face Nyx.

“You didn’t believe me?” He asks, jokingly and grabs a strainer from the drawer behind me. “Can you turn the burner off?” While I do, he dumps out the water leaving just the spaghetti in the strainer. “Okay. Step four, sauce.”

I try to be helpful and open the jar, but I guess I’m not strong enough so Nyx comes over to help me.

“Here, let me.” He opens it on the first try, then pours it over the noodles. “Now we eat.”

I grab two bowls from the cabinet as we head over to the table to eat.

“Thank you for teaching me. I’ve always wanted to learn how to cook.”

“You’re welcome. Spaghetti is pretty easy, next time we can try something a little more difficult if you’d like.” I smile as we continue to eat in comfortable silence. When we’ve finished Nyx offers to do the dishes while I clean up the table. After we’re done we get ready for bed and I come into the bedroom, finding Nyx staring at the bed.

“You don’t have to, anymore.” He looks at me confused. “Sleep on the couch, I mean. The bed is pretty big, so we can share it.” He gives me a small nod and heads into the bathroom.

I’ve already changed into my nightgown by the time he comes back. “Um, because of my wings I have to sleep on my stomach. I hope that’s alright.” I look over to find that he’s shirtless, just wearing loose sweatpants that are basically falling off. My eyes trail over his defined abs and the v-line that leads down to his-. My eyes jump back up and I see that he’s smirking at me. I turn my head away and clear my throat.

“Ye-Yeah that’s fine.” I never thought about how Illyrians sleep, but it makes sense that they can’t sleep on their backs. He pulls back the covers to get in and I follow shortly after.

His wings are tucked in and it looks super uncomfortable. “You can let your wings rest. I won’t mind.” He looks up at me surprised, I give him a small smile and a nod. I lay down on my back and he flares his wings out as we both drift off to sleep.

“Goodnight.”

I wake up to the light shining in through the window and a heavy weight on top of me. I slowly open my eyes to find a huge wing laying over my chest, then I notice that I’m pinned underneath the body that wing is attached to. We’re Cuddling. Even if I wanted to push Nyx off of me I couldn’t, but for some reason I don’t even bother to try. His face is nuzzled into my neck and he’s wrapped an arm around my waist. He smells so fucking good.

I lay there wide awake for who knows how long before he starts to stir. He wakes with a yawn and hugs me closer. He must realize what he’s doing because he quickly jumps up, scaring the shit out of me.

“Oh- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-“ His face is bright red.

“It’s okay. I didn’t mind.” He gives me a nod and heads into the bathroom. I get up to fix the covers on the bed while I wait for him to finish. He comes out with sopping wet hair and a towel thrown loosely around his hips. I hurry into the bathroom before I can do something I’ll absolutely regret later.

I splash cold water on my face about twelve times before I actually begin getting ready.

When I come back out, Nyx is sitting on the bed holding a note. “What’s that?”

“It’s from my mom, she wants us to join them for dinner tonight.” He looks up at me and hands over the letter.

My dearest Nyx and Y/N,

I hope this isn’t too late of notice, but we would really love to see you both at our family dinner tonight. The table isn’t complete without you.

~F.

I sit down and give him the letter back. “We don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I can come up with an excuse, it's no big deal.”

“We can go.”

“Something like we have obligations elsewher- wait what did you say?”

I turn my body slightly to face him and lightly chuckle. “I said, we can go. It will be nice to meet your family.” I think. Actually wait on second thought... No, it’s gonna have to happen eventually, might as well get it over with.

“Okay, yeah. We can go. Um, I just feel like I should warn you.” Uh-oh. “My family is different from most, it can be overwhelming. Everyone has very watchful eyes, they will be tracking your every move, especially my uncle Azriel. He has… history with your father and will probably not like you at first. The same thing goes for my aunt Mor, so please don’t be offended if they don’t open up to you right away, it’s nothing personal.”

Nothing personal. I’ve heard stories of the hatred between the Autumn and Night courts, but I normally just have to deal with rude stares or nasty side comments. I’ve never eaten dinner with people who hate me.

He grabs my hand and looks over at me. “If you ever want to leave, just tell me and we'll go. No questions asked.” I nod and slightly smile. I wasn’t nervous before, but now I’m second guessing saying yes. “I promise nothing bad will happen.”

You can’t possibly promise me that.

“I have nothing to wear.” I say standing up.

“That box is addressed to you, from my mom.” He points to a box sitting on the floor that I never noticed. I place it on the bed, undo the ribbon and open the lid. Inside is the most stunning dress I’ve ever seen. Dark, navy blue suede with ¾ length sleeves. Night Court colors. Beneath a layer of tissue paper are matching heels, that thankfully aren’t too high.

Nyx leans over on the bed to peer into the box. “Oh I have something that matches that perfectly!” He runs over to the closet and returns with a suit the exact same shade.

“It’s perfect.” I look up to find him already staring at me.

“Let’s get ready, shall we?”

I brush out my curls to loosen them up a bit and move over to look in the mirror. The dress fits me perfectly, it accentuates my curves but still looks elegant. Unfortunately, even looking as good as I do does absolutely nothing to help my nerves. My hands are slightly shaking and I doubt there is anything I can do to stop it.

“Is there anything I can help with?” Nyx softly knocks on the door, his way of letting me know that I’m taking too long. One glance at the clock behind me says he’s right, we have to leave soon.

I turn around and head towards the door, Nyx has already opened it and is staring at me with an expression I can’t quite determine.

“You- You look beautiful.” His eyes roam over my figure in a way that seems far too intimate, but I love it anyway.

“Thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself.” I feel my cheeks getting hot, but that’s the least of my worries at the moment. I reach out to take his hand, but hesitate when I see that mine are still shaking. “Are you ready?” I just need to get this over with.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” He extends his arm out for me to take and then winnows us off to his parents house.

“Remember, you want to leave and we leave. No questions asked.” Nyx assures me as we walk up the pathway. I give his arm a squeeze as my response because I’m saving all my energy for what’s to come.

He doesn’t knock on the door, just walks right in and the chatter that I heard from on the porch abruptly stops. Silence. Just the sound of my heels clicking on the tile.

Two dark figures round the corner, one shorter than the other but both exude power. I already know who they are before they come into the light.

“Mom, Dad, thank you for inviting us over.” Nyx lets go of my arm to give his parents a hug while I stand by myself awkwardly.

Rhysand breaks away first to greet me. “Y/N, welcome to our home. We’re so glad you could make it.” He gives my hand a slight shake and then escorts me towards what I presume to be the dining room. I’m greeted with seven unhappy faces, each one more angry than the first.

Four females, one who is doing her best to not meet my eyes, one who looks ready to chop my head off, one who looks like she has better places to be and the last one seems to be as terrified as I am. There are two winged males at the table as well, one with long hair who has a watchful gaze and the other who seems to be assessing all the ways he can kill me while these black things float around him. I already hate it here.

“Y/N, these are the members of our family. Mor, Nesta, Amren, Elain, Cassian and Azriel.” Feyre says behind me as I give a smile and take my seat between Nyx and Cassian with Azriel across from me.

“Alright. Now that we’re all here, let’s eat shall we?” Rhysand gives a small gesture towards the table and all the plates are filled with food. I don’t even bother to see what it is, I just need my hands to be doing something before I go crazy, so I begin to eat right away. Everyone else follows suit and it takes about 5 minutes before Feyre breaks the deafening silence. “Have you been enjoying the Night Court since your arrival?”

“I haven’t seen much of it, but what I have seen is beautiful.” I take a small sip of water.

“Oh that’s a pity! Nyx, why haven’t you taken Y/N out to see more?”

“We really haven’t had the time, Mom. We will soon though.” And the game of silence begins again. This time it’s broken by Nesta slamming down her silverware.

“So, Y/N. How is your father doing?”

“Nesta.” Rhysand warns.

“No, I want to know. Because he puts everyone through so much shit just so he can keep living the high life. So tell me, how is ‘Daddy Dearest’?”

I choke on my water slightly while I’m desperately trying to come up with an answer. “I’m not quite sure what you are referring to. My father is well respected in my Court.”

She scoffs. “He is, is he? You don’t even know what happened, do you? What he did to Mor?” Everyone is staring at me now and I have no idea how to respond. I’ve heard that my father and Mor were in a relationship when they were very young, but nothing more. I glance over at Nyx to try and catch his eye, but he’s looking down at his plate.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t been told much of my father’s past.”

I feel a brush of something swimming up my leg, my side, then wrapping around my throat and I suddenly can’t breathe. Azriel stares at me with so much hatred in his eyes, I’m surprised this didn’t happen sooner.

“All you Vanserra’s ever do is lie. You know exactly what your father did. Your father hurt Mor, left her for dead, you and your brother are the exact same as him, evil. Why did Nyx have a black eye the other day? Did you honestly think we wouldn’t find out?” Nesta stands up from her seat.

Tears are streaming down my cheeks as my hands grab at my throat, desperate for air. My vision starts to get blurry and then Azriel releases his shadows. I gasp for air and quickly stand up. “Can you excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom.” I run off crying.

Splashing cold water on my face does absolutely nothing for me. I slowly sink to the floor to sob and sob and sob. No one comes to check on me. No one believes me. Not even Nyx. Why hasn’t he said anything? Done anything? He knows that I wasn’t the one who hurt him, yet he stays silent.

Gods. I feel like the world's biggest idiot. I thought Nyx and I were getting along. He promised nothing bad would happen. I should have known better.

I notice a rather large window that I can easily fit through. So that’s exactly what I do, and then I’m running. I have no idea where I am, but I know where I need to go. Home.

I’m passing through some sort of market and nearly run into someone. I take a second to catch my breath. “Excuse me, sir. Could you please tell me how to get to the Autumn Court?”

The male points me in the direction I need and then I’m off again.

“Y/N!” I stop. I’ve been running through this forest alone for over 3 hours, who is calling out for me? “Y/N! It’s me!”

My brother. He runs right up to me and pulls me in for a hug. “What the fuck are you doing?!!” And that’s all it takes for me to break down again.

“I can’t do it anymore! I don’t care what alliance this marriage brings to father. I can’t be married to him, I just can't!”

“Shhhh. It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. Take a deep breath.” He rubs a comforting hand up my back. “I’ll take you back home, okay?” I feel a slight gust of wind and look up to see that I’m in the home I share with Nyx.

“No! Why did you bring me back here? I can’t stay here! I need to go home, back to Autumn!” I start to panic.

“You can’t go back to Autumn. Father will find out and everything will only get worse.” He lightly pushes me down so I sit on the couch and then brings me a glass of water. “I need you to stay here. I will be back to check on you, but you must stay here.”

“I will, thank you.” I’m too tired to argue. Now I’m alone, again. I know Nyx will come home eventually, but I can’t even think about that right now, I just need to go to sleep. I triple check that the doors are locked, then grab every knife from the kitchen and barricade myself in the bedroom.

I wake up to the sound of pounding on the bedroom door. “Y/N! Y/N I know that you’re in there. Please, just come out and talk to me.”

“Go away!” The banging stops and then he’s standing in front of me. “What the fuck? You can’t just winnow in here?” He kneels down on the floor as I sit up.

“Please. I just need to talk with you.”

“I don’t think we have anything to talk about. You left me there! You left me there while he was choking me! I trusted you! What happened to ‘we leave whenever I wanted’? What about your promise that nothing bad would happen? Was that a lie too?” I take a deep breath and continue.

“Was everything a lie? Everything you said? How you were sorry, that you wanted to start over and your feelings for me? Everything was a lie!”

“What? No! No, I didn't lie about any of that!”

“Then why didn’t you help me? You sat there and watched me get choked and then never bothered to check on me.”

“I wanted to! But they wouldn’t let me. The minute you left, uncle Az pinned me to the chair with his shadows. I couldn’t get to you.”

Is he lying to me right now? “From the second we walked into that house, you acted like I didn’t exist! Why?”

“Because I was scared.”

“Scared? What could you possibly be scared of?”

“I was scared that my family would find out.”

“FIND OUT WHAT?!?” If he doesn’t get to the fucking point-

“THAT I LOVE YOU!”

“You- you what?”

“I love you. I have for a while, but I thought that you hated me. I figured the only way to be with you was to have an arrangement made, so I asked my dad to-“

He looks at me with wide eyes, he's said too much.

“You asked your dad to do what?” I ask slowly, scared for his answer. He takes in a deep sigh.

“I asked him to ask your dad about arranging a marriage between us. He’s the only one who knows, not even your father. I- I’m sorry. I should have told you.” I take a step back, this can’t be happening. “Y/N, please. Let me explain.”

“No.”

“Please. I understand that I-“

“Nyx. I don’t want you to explain. Just give me an answer to my question. Just one.”

“Anything, I’ll tell you anything.” He’s begging now.

“Do you love me?”

“W-what?”

“Do you love me? Truly love me?”

“Yes! Yes, I love you!” He stands up and faces me. I can’t explain it, but I believe him. Maybe all that running I just did is messing with my head. Him asking his father to arrange our marriage is fucked up and I hate him for it, but I love him too.

“Then kiss me.”

He hesitates for a second and then slowly moves closer to me, giving me enough time to change my mind. Then finally, he places a hand under my chin, closes the distance and he softly places his lips on mine.

His lips are so soft, so gentle, like he’s afraid I’m going to break. My hands find their way to his hair as the kiss deepens. I trail my tongue across his bottom lip causing him to moan and move his hands to my hips.

We break for air and just stare at each other. Our foreheads pressed together, breath mixing between us, eyes searching the others. “I love you, too.” I realize I never said it out loud and based on his reaction, he wasn’t expecting me to. “I don’t want to start over. I just want to keep moving forward.”

“That sounds perfect.” He caresses my cheek with his thumb and gives my forehead a kiss. “Would you like to go to bed?” I nod as my response and he lets me go to pull back the covers. I get in first while he gets undressed.

There is so much we still have to work out. So many difficult conversations we have to have. But as I lay here with my head on his chest listening to his steady heartbeat, I can’t help but smile. I’m looking forward to those conversations. Looking forward to finding out as much as I can about Nyx. Regardless of what his family thinks of me or what mine thinks of him. We’re going to be happy, and to me, that’s all that matters.

#a court of thorns and roses #acotar #azriel #cassian #feyre #mor #nesta #rhys #nyx #nyx x reader #high lord eris #eris vanserra #vanserra #Elain #night court #autumn court #sarah j maas

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dontbesoweirdkira · 2 months

Note

For a cunty request can I have a time traveler reader with any of mafia? Maybe Vico or Tommy?

A/N: oh this is going to be hilarious! Thank you for requesting…stay cunty😘✨ (hopefully I did your idea some justice. I didn’t entirely know what scenario you wanted so just some general thoughts)

Warnings: ⚠️a little bit of Joe Barbaro ⚠️

Masterlist

Requests: open 24/7

I’ve chosen Vito because have you ever seen those memes where it’s like, “a victorian child would probably have an aneurysm over this”, yeah…that would be Tommy if you appeared in his timeline

Like that man is stressed the hell out enough! Don’t go ruining his life further with your shenanigans.

Besides Vito would definitely take this far better than anyone else with the exception of the characters from mafia iii. My brother has been to prison, shipped out to war, and now suddenly in the mob…he’s definitely seen some unspeakable shit..

Every soldier has at least one paranormal experience…for him it just happened to be your dumb ass.

He’s not amused by you in the slightest at first..what the fuck is an iPhone and why are you dressed like an idiot? Are you high on something or just unwell?????

“Look Lady, I really don’t have time for this shit and I have places to be. If you need something there’s a Salvation Army right down the block..”

Of course you keep persisting that you’re perfectly fine and that you’re actually from the future. I can just imagine Vito speed walking away with an exasperated expression plastered across his face; you're just continuing to spew nonsense as you follow him.

“I-I don’t want to hear you talk about your fucking bullshit future! Please just go away.”

This man’s blood pressure is through the roof at this point. He’s even trying to physically shoo you away, if it wasn’t for his background he would’ve taken you to the police department.

“Okay do you want a dollar? Huh, will that make you finally stop yapping?? Actually, here take 20 and go away.”

Eventually he just gives up. You’re the most hard headed individual he’s ever encountered and he let’s you follow him. You’re obviously not giving this up.

Partly thinks this is some kind of prank Joe set up to get back at him.

So naturally his first instinct is go go find Joe because if he has to hear the crazy shit you’re spewing, so does he.

Worst. Mistake. Ever.

At first Joe is also trying to get you to leave his buddy alone. Even offering you money just like Vito did earlier but then a light bulb goes off!

Joe’s main mission in life is to piss off Vito and for him…golden opportunity right here for free.

“Sooo…Y/N was it? Tell me, if you are from the future, will Vito always be this fugly?”

“Oh shut the hell up for once would ya? This is a serious situation we have on our hands and you think this is the time to be making jokes??”

“Maybe not fugly but he will end up being a grumpy old man with no wife or kids.”

Joe absolutely loves you and you’re now besties

“Oohhhh no. You two will not be in cahoots!! Joe stop fucking around.”

Don’t worry, Vito eventually comes around to you. He kind of has to now that Joe is riding this thing so hard.

Neither one of them truly believes you though. At least not at first. It’s kind of difficult to prove until the event you’re warning them about actually comes to pass.

You are able to tell them extremely detailed facts and information about themselves and the mafia. You warn them about Henry and give tips about different tasks.

This made them suspicious of you and blew you off as some kind of narc for knowing so damn much. It wasn’t until things started becoming true, they came running right back to you.

They’re both feeling a mixture of excitement, concern and confusion.

Joe doesn’t understand that you only know main historical events and wants you to give him the winning numbers to the lottery.

Vito on the other hand thinks you’re some sort of crazy psychic or maybe one of them aliens from the film he had just seen.

Either way you’re definitely not from here.

Ultimately Vito doesn’t entirely know how to handle all of this. I don’t think anyone would ever be able to fully process this happening. After all you’ve predicted and protected him from, he just accepts that you’re who you say you are.

You’re not a threat to him and Joe seems to really enjoy having you around so I guess he doesn’t really mind you either. He lets you stay at his place too. It’s the least he could do after all your help and the shit he gave.

At least you’re not as bad as that kid, Marty.

#vito scaletta #joe barbaro #mafia headcanon #mafia ii #mafia 2 #headcanon #vito scaletta x reader #mafia trilogy #mafia definitive edition #mafia 3 #tommy angelo

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klausysworld · 1 year

Note

Hi! Could you do Klaus x reader based on song - "July" by Noah Cyrus? With happy/fluffy end after angst? Thx for your time, have a nice day/night! 🖤

July (Noah Cyrus)

~pt 2

I’ve been holding my breath

I’ve been counting to ten

Over something you said

You sat in your shared room tears streaming down your face, sobs shaking your body as you scrubbed at your face and washed the once perfectly done makeup down the sink

I’ve been holding back tears

While you’re throwing back beers

I’m alone in bed

Your body was curled into a ball as you attempted to stay silent while he stumbled into the room, the smell of alcohol drifted throughout the room as a silent tear slipped from past your eye

You know I, I’m afraid of change

Guess that’s why we stay the same

you woke the next day in klaus’s big arms, the scent of bourbon still lingered in the air but you simply turned in his hold and he held you tighter in his sleep, the cruel words he screamed at you just the night before were pushed to the back of your head as you focused on the warm feeling you felt in your heart when he would pull you to his chest.

So tell me to leave

I’ll pack my bags, get on the road

Find someone who loves you

Better than i do, darling, I know

the thought of Klaus, your lover, with that stupidly gorgeous blond hanging off his arm had you stood with your duffle bag of clothes in one hand and your phone in the other as you arranged to go to your cousins for a while

‘Cause you remind me every day

I’m not enough, but i still stay

on your way to say goodbye to the one who held your heart you head him speak

“it’s not my fault they aren’t enough for me anymore Rebekah, i simply want more out of this immortal life”

your heart shattered and although something inside you still screamed to stay you just couldn’t, not anymore

Feels like a lifetime

Just trying to get by while we're dying inside

I've done a lot of things wrong

Loving you being one

But I can't move on

staying in your families home felt empty, every little thing made you think of Klaus. The cold hollow feeling made your body ache but tears never made it past your glossy eyes while your heart screamed for the one you love

You know I, I'm afraid of change

Guess that's why we stay the same

A knock echoed through the house as you dragged yourself to answer the door and opened it to see the man himself. Klaus stood looking the worst you had ever seen him, you knew you looked awful as well as you both took it one another’s presence

So tell me to leave

I'll pack my bags, get on the road

Find someone that loves you

Better than I do, darling, I know

'Cause you remind me every day

I'm not enough, but I still stay

klaus let you see him openly cry as he hesitantly stepped forward and pulled you into his grasp and you let him.

“If you want me to leave

Then tell me to leave and baby I’ll go”

he whispered through his shaky breathing as he held you as tight as he could, head in your neck and a hand in your hair

“You remind me every day

I'm not enough, but I still stay”

he nodded his head and kissed the temple of your head

“not anymore, never again i promise, i swear on my life okay? please, just one more chance, please I’m gonna be so good to you, i’m going to do every little thing to prove to you that i love more than i have and will ever love anyone ever. i don’t want anyone else ever, please, i need you in my life”

“this can’t happen again Nik…”

“never. i love you so so much”

“i love you too”

he let out a sob and pressed his lips to yours, he tasted of coffee and a little like mint, no longer like scotch or bourbon. He smelled like the woods, a little like dark chocolate and soap, no longer like alcohol or cheap perfume.

everything was going to be fine. it was going to get better and you would be happy with the man, the hybrid that you love.

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thewritersaddictions · 8 months

Text

Requests: The Wanderers: Negan- Blend In

Pairing: Negan Smith x Shy!FemReader

Pov: Readers /Negans

Summary: When Negan saves the reader from a horrible fact he invites her to stay only to have his kingdom come crashing down around him.

Warnings: (Rape is elude to), Negan saving someone, Season 7-8 Negan, Season 7-8 spoliers of the walking dead, fluff, angst, non-con, walkers (Zombies) No Use of Y/n, farewell notes, prince charming vibes, knight charming armor vibes.

A/n- @ Firefly-graphics for dividers

WC- 1.7k

The Walking Dead Master List // Requests Master List // The Wanderers Master

I had been going just fine all by myself. Sure I had a mother and father at one point. At the start of this hell I had my mother, and father sadly I watched as they both were attacked and pinned down under the snarling weight of flesh hungry zombies. I ran, I ran so far and for so long that I don’t know how I made it. I just kept running, my breath burning my lungs as I desperately inhaled, and exhalled.

I guess I should worry about the few zombies currently pushing me into the corner of the wooden forest that surrounds us. I shouldn’t have left the little shelter I had made for myself, I shouldn’t have gone out when hte moon was high in the sky, and the night skys made the deep wooden forest darker then ever before. This is where nightmares and monsters hid and waited for their prey.

I had excepted the worst to have happened, I waited on batted breath for the gnawing feeling of the blunt teeth. Waiting for it to tear into my flesh.I think I was ready to die, I wasn’t okay with dying in the dark forest, becoming one of those things. I didn’t dare scream as the horde cornered me, but I did scream when that horde was slashed down. Blood and guts smearing trees, and bushes all around me. When I finally managed to catch not only my breath, but my heartbeat I was struck with a man standing in front of me.

A handsome tall, dark man. Wielding a barbed-wire baseball bat dripping with blood. A cocky grin upon his face that gave me an odd set of shivers down my spine. Dark hair that shimmered in the moons light, tingles of gray spreading through it. Ripped jeans that fit his legs a little too tight, and that black leather jacket. He was the upptimeny of bad boy, the ones your parents warn out about, the ones that parents of little girls tells them to ignore and stay away from. The only accents on his very black outfits was that red bandana around his neck. For a quick moment my mind conjured up what he must have been before the world fell into hell.

Maybe he was on a motorcycle, maybe he was apart of a gang. I sawllow at the thought, and then remember he just saved my fucking life, so maybe lets leave the opions and judgyness in the middle of the woods. “Well you were almost toasted doll.” His voice is thick, and rich like dark chocolate. He reached his leather gloved hand out for me to grab, I closed me gaping mouth and took his hand helping me up from the dirty, blood covered ground.

“What has you out in the middle of the woods?” The man asks me, I think that maybe I shouldn’t tell him about the little shelter, really it’s a cabin that I had taken for myself. But that one thought to pushed to the edge of my thoughts when I look up at him. He’s got such a authority in his face, and even in his voice it booms when he’s just talking. “I’ve got a cabin not to far from here, I just wanted to go searching for some stuff.” I answer him, he hums. “How about you show me this cabin of yours.” It’s not a question it’s a demand, and from what I’ve already seen I don’t want to end up at the end of that barbed-wire baseball bat.

He must see my eye flicker to his baseball bat. “Her names Lucille, she doesn’t bite. I nod, “It’s this way.” I say timdily. The bat swong over his large shoulder, and we walked in step with each other until the cabin was in view. “It’s just you?” He asks intriguend at something, that I’m not catching yet. “Yeah, well… Just been me for a while now.” My thoughts get distracted by images of my parents dead on the ground. I shake the thoughts away, and climb the stairs. “Home sweet home.” I hear the man say from behind me.

There’s nothing much here, it’s dark. Candles that are at the end of their lives. I can see the man behind me taking in the new area he stands in. “It’s homey.” The man says, I nod. The silence isn’t the difficult to deal with, rather it’s the way the man makes no effort to move around or look about the little cabin. It’s as if he’s thinking, mapping out his next move and it scares me just a little. The blood fromt he tip of the bat is dripping into a small puddle on the floor. “You should come back with me to my sanctuary.” He offers, yet again I sense that it’s not an offer, but a demand. “I should grab my stuff then.” That’s all I can say before venturing towards the back room to grab loose cloths, books, and anything else that I had been able to keep or find during my lonely time out here.

The walk is long, and it’s rather quiet, listening for the growls of walkers. He takes me in, I get a room all to myself. The sanctuary is filled with all types of people who all have jobs. The older man tells me later on that his name is Negan. He boasts out a smile when his name leaves my lips. He smiles, and it makes me weak to my knees.

In just the few weeks I have come to a great conclusion. One is that Negan is the most handsome man I’d ever met, and it’s not like I’ve never talked to men before, or had boyfriends in school. It’s just what I was afraid of, afraid of falling for someone I have no clue what they are. I had fallen for the beast of the man. His confidence stride, and his boastful, booming voice as it rang across the walls of the sanctuary.

The second thing I realized, with a sadden heart was that no man would want me. No man would want what he could get in the other much prettier women. The wives, Negan’s pretty, gorgeous wives. I stood up to them with no par. I was nothing in comparison to the beauties that were bestowed upon them. The heels that clicked, the long legs, and prefect bodies in every part of myself I knew that I was nothing like them. So I declared it. Negan would never take a seconds glance at me, because I wasn’t his type. I wasn’t anyone’s type. I was just me, and it wasn’t enough.

–

With Negan gone, the sanctuary is running into the ground. People aren’t keeping in line, and the ones who are keeping in lines are fucked by the others. Military punishment is dished out almost everyday. Collective punishment. Simons is running us into the ground, and our fight with Alexndria isn’t helping. I pray, I pray to gods that probably no longer exist to please just bring home Negan. Set the record straight and push us in a new clean direction. And everyday my prayers are ignored, Negan hasn’t come back and I highly doubt he ever will. I lean towards the idea that’s he been caught, captured and used rather then walking around in that leather jacket, and black boots as a walker. It’s a better image, it’s a truly better thought.

The man are hovering over me, Simon is hovering over me like I’m fresh meat on a table. Just prey for them to devour. Simon has the cockiest grin on his face, the tears the cling my warm cheeks. They had taken me, in the middle of my sleep dragged me away from my plush and warm bed, to Negan’s quarters. Raw, and dirty skin touching mine, makes my skin crawl. I try desperately to get out of my head, to drown out the noise of men talking over each other, try desperately to push myself so far and so deep into my head that I can nearly just forget that I am here.

That is ripped away from me, the ability to do so, is stripped down to the bare bones when the booms and crashing voice of Negan comes clambering through the halls. I wonder why I manage to be to the only one who can here it, why do all the nasty men above me just ignore it. I wonder for a brief moment if I’m leaving this horrid place ladning in a much better one. I heaven perhaps, but then realize that the voice that is booming is just right outside the door. I’ve never seen the rage displayed on Negans face as to when he opens the door. My clothes are ripped and torn to shreds on the ground leading up the side ofthe bed. Utter shame is what hits me whne our eyes locks and it’s all I feel as Negan drags Simon out of the room by the back of his neck.

–

My knuckles are blood, and brusied by the time Simon lays dead on the ground. It’s a huge warning upon everyone else. I want to scream and shot, but there’s nothing more important then her right. My heart hammers into my chest, and ears as I race through the corridors to get back to my room. The door is left wide open for all to see, but there’s something missing. She’s missing, Her clothes are still littering the floor with the aftermath of what had just taken place.

A letter, rushed and scrambled on a pre-used paper.

“Listen Negan, I know that you’re probably never going to read this. I just can’t imagine you dead for a second time. I should have never come here. I shoudn’t have gotten in the way of you and your wives. I’m sorry that I’ve made this huge mess. This is my farewell letter Negan, please don’t lose everything you have, just for me. Goodbye.”

My eyes burn with tears, and anger beginnings to boil at the pit of my stomach. With the last of my energy I grab a few of my things, stuff them deep into a black bag, and Lucille. I put someone without an ego in charge, and leave off for her.

Completed on: 09/27/23

Posted on: 09/28/23

The Wanderers:

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lumosinlove · 1 year

Text

Vaincre

cw: mentions of past abuse and injury

May Part One

Golden haze

“It’s fine, it’s just been acting up. A little. Just a little—not like—I can play. It’s just been hurting, just a little.”

Cole wished he could take back at least half of those words as Layla looked over her shoulder at him from the sink in the PT room. “Sorry, didn’t hear you, did you say just a little?” She smiled as she tore off a paper towel to dry her hands with. “Get that look off your face, I was kidding, C.”

Cole smiled, looked down at his knee. “Yeah.”

“Do you know how many of you come in here and say the same thing to me?”

Cole raised an eyebrow. “What do we say?”

“You tell me something’s wrong, first of all.” Cole watched her as she flicked some of her braids behind her shoulder, a few of the gold rings in them flashing in the harsh ceiling lights. “And then you tell me how little of a wrong it is.”

“Okay…”

“But then you tell me something’s wrong again. You know, in case I forgot.”

Cole smiled. “We’re that simple, huh?”

“Not at all.” She looked down at Cole’s knee, reaching out to hold around the cap of it gently. Cole noticed she’d removed her rings. “Because you know what my job is?”

“Helping us?”

“Nope.” She smiled. “Figuring out which part of the act you’re lying during. The hurt-hurt, or the just-a-little.”

“We sound difficult,” Cole said wryly.

“You are. You know who’s the worst?”

“Hm?”

“Remus.”

Cole laughed. “No. I don’t believe that.”

He winced a little at the movement of her fingers and she did it again before motioning him to bend it.

“Cross my heart,” she said.

“But he was—he was you. Shouldn’t he know better than to hide it?”

“Sometimes we become what we need. You know that expression?” When Cole shook her head she continued, reaching down to flex his ankle. “Planners need surprises, the care-takers need taking-care-of. Explainers need help.” She raised a shoulder. “PTs need to be told to rest when they’re hurt.”

“Loops isn’t hurt, is he?”

“Well, he’s got that shoulder of his.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen the scar.”

Layla nodded. “When it comes to putting metal in, or pins…Stuff like that never really goes away.”

“Guys like to trade stories,” Cole said, and gestured to his own cheek, where he had a nasty scar from a puck just on the underside his chin. He’d been young (younger, Thomas would have said. You’re still young, Twenty.) and stupid and hadn’t let it heal well. “You know, about scars and stuff. But not Loops. I asked once.”

“Well…it’s not just a scar, I guess.” Layla said. “I mean, it was career ending. For a long time. It’s probably painful to talk about.”

“It happened in college, right, I know,” Cole said, and then, after a moment, “you ever notice how much he hates Grayback?”

Layla looked over at him. “Easy guy to hate.”

“Yeah, but, I was just thinking about it because we’re up against them in the first round. And one time we were all at lunch—beginning of the season—I mean not all of us, some of us. Anyway, sorry. Anyway, and I said this thing about how good Grayback was and everyone, like, froze up. I remember because I felt so awkward after. And then when we matched up with Vegas this season, there was all this…I don’t know, they all hate him. Like Cap, Thomas, Tremzy, all they wanted to do was fight him and Loops kept telling them not to.”

“Well…Okay?” Layla said. “And?”

Cole scooted forward on the examination table. “I’ve watched the clips, though.”

Layla unlaced his shoe, sliding it off easily before straightening his leg and flexing his foot. “God, you really are a tape-junkie, huh. How’s that feel?”

Cole shrugged, as if it were a given. “Hurts a little. Not gonna lie. But—anyway, Loops was incredible, even in his last game, and then he gets hit—by Grayback.”

“Grayback? I thought they were teammates.”

“They were,” Cole said. “Grayback hit his own guy. And it’s not a clean hit, it takes Remus a long time to get up, Grayback tries to play it off like an accident but then Remus doesn’t come back—at all. And that’s that.”

Layla frowned. “A hit?”

“Yeah,” Cole said.

“Remus’ injury isn’t…” Layla stood up, words trailing into a thoughtful expression.

“Isn’t what?”

Layla was quiet for a long moment, then waved a hand at Cole. “Take out your phone. Show me the clip.”

“It isn’t what, Layla?”

“I’m not talking about his injury with you, just show me the clip.”

Cole frowned but pulled out his phone. He tried to keep his breathing normal as Layla came to lean against the table next to him, their faces close.

He didn’t know what she was looking for, but Layla watched intensely, lined eyes narrowed at the screen. The video played it four times, and Cole winced at the third, and looked away for the last time, which was in slow motion. He didn’t like to watch the way a much younger Remus’ head snapped back when his own teammate, his teammate hit him a hard and high, mid-ice. It was unimaginable.

“What do they call it?” Layla asked, looking up from the screen. “Like actually, what do they call it when they say later why he hadn’t returned.”

“Upper body. They say it happened when Grayback hit him. Grayback even talks about it in a post-game interview, about how guilty he feels.”

“And Remus?” Layla asked. “What does he say after?”

“He didn’t,” Cole said. “He doesn’t say anything. They say he’s in the hospital recovering. And then he just…doesn’t recover.”

“He was going to go number one,” Layla said. “They didn’t follow up with him? How?”

“He was going to go number one,” Cole said. “And then he didn’t. People tend to move onto the next ‘great one’ around here. I know we’re all sitting next to Sirius Black and it seems like we couldn’t forget him, but if this had happened to Sirius…we would have.” Cole offered a one sided, sad smile. “It’s why this is so scary.”

“Hm.”

“What are you thinking?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on, Layla. It’s me.”

It’s me. What the hell had he meant by that? He didn’t have any reason to say that to her. They’d shared moments, of course, and they hung out with the Dumais kids, but they were rarely alone. They weren’t best friends or anything. They weren’t close in the way that he was becoming with his new teammates. Thomas, Olli, Jackson and, well, he had been getting a little close with Logan. He’d walked into the locker room the first day after his trade and was surprised to see how much he noticed he wasn’t there. Missed him, even.

But Layla was still someone he felt comfortable with. And that was pretty rare for Cole.

“I’m not telling you nothing because I don’t think I can trust you, I just don’t think we should speculate. That’s all.” Layla sighed. “Obviously, yes, something did happen. But it’s painful, and sounds complicated, and…” She gestured between the two of them. “Us? We’re the rookies. We haven’t been here.”

Cole paused. “Yeah. Sorry, yeah. I know. I don’t know why I’m…I think he only really talks to Thomas about it. I mean, Cap, of course, but Thomas, too.”

Layla shrugged. “Thomas is easy to talk to.”

“I shouldn’t have brought it up,” Cole said. “Um. Yeah. Thomas is, yeah.”

“Like…about how I’m your girl?” Layla asked, smile forming on her face.

Cole would have been happy to swallow his own tongue—even if he could tell she was also trying to change the subject on him. He had a vivid, horrible flash of shushing Thomas at the airport. “You…you heard that?”

“I don’t think Thomas Walker knows how to speak quietly.”

Cole sat up, not caring even a little about his knee now. “Oh my God. Layla—no, I never said that to anyone—”

But she just laughed. “Cole, I’m joking. Relax, you’re gonna pull a muscle or something. Lay down.”

Cole felt a little dizzy as he lay back and stared up at the white ceiling. He could feel AC coming in from the vent, lukewarm and needless.

“Why not?” Layla asked after a moment of prodding at his leg.

“What?” He didn’t dare look down at her. Was he sweating now? God, he was. Not that it would bother her but—but this wasn’t—this was different. This felt different.

“Why don’t you say I’m your girl?”

Cole let out a slow breath. “Layla…”

“I’m just messing,” Layla said. “Sort of.”

Cole did look at her this time. “Oh, so does it hurt-hurt or not-hurt?”

That made her laugh, really laugh, palms pressed to his thigh, and all Cole wanted was to do that again. To make her laugh like that again. Instead, he took a breath and tried for some honesty—even if it could hurt-hurt. He sat up again, letting her hands slide away from his leg as he faced her, still siting on the examination table. Layla was tall to begin with, and like this they were eye to eye.

“I thought you just saw me as…you know. The rookie. I know I’m not—like, outgoing.” His eyes darted away, then back, then away again. “Or—like so many of these guys can just hold the fucking room, you know? I know I’m quiet. And you’re not, you can talk to anyone you want, anywhere.”

Layla just looked at him for a long moment, long enough that he cleared his throat and laughed awkwardly, feeling his face get hot. When she reached out a traced a finger over the line he had shaved in his eyebrow, his heart all but stopped.

“Why don’t you come over tonight for dinner after the game. My apartment. You can even help me study if you want to.”

“You’re not at Dumo’s tonight?” he managed to say. Cole, secretly, loved when Layla was at the Dumais house with him. They never did anything—God forbid he ever be caught a situation like that by Pascal fucking Dumais—but they played with the kids, and ate dinner, and sat next to each other while the kids kicked up a fuss over what movie to watch. Held hands under the blanket sometimes, which was nice, but also sent half of Cole’s brain into a spiral of is my palm sweaty? Did I put deodorant on after practice? Did I Am I Did I Could I Should I—

“Nope.” Layla leaned a little closer. It put her right between his thighs.

Cole’s eyes dropped to her lips, then back to her eyes.They hadn’t kissed. It was game-day, her brown eyes were lined in black and gold, gorgeous against her dark brown skin. They hadn’t kissed. Yet?

“So, you have a big test tomorrow?”

Layla smiled. “Nope.”

“Are you just trying to torture me?”

“Yes.”

“Will we…study?”

“We’re going to cook dinner, Reyes.”

“Oh.” Cole smiled. “Yeah.”

“Yeah? Sound okay?” Her eyes dropped to his mouth, just for a moment.

Cole vaguely wondering if he was about to get that kiss. “Layla.”

“Reyes.”

“What do you need?”

Layla smiled at having her words given back to her, but gave a slight shake of her head. “I don’t know yet. Patience, I guess.”

Cole nodded. “Yeah.” He could be that. “Okay. Dinner, then.”

“How does the knee feel now? Think you can play Vegas?”

“I can play.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure. No hurt-hurt, just wanted some—uh, maintenance.”

Layla smiled. “Round one. This is my first ever NHL playoffs, you know.”

“Better make it a good one then. Just for you, of course.”

Layla laughed. “Yeah. Just for me.”

“Round one, baby!” Thomas’ voice echoed through the locker room but Remus barely heard it. He’d seen the Golden Knights arrive on twitter, and was pleased to find that he didn’t have that same rattled feeling that he had grown used to settling in his chest at the very sight of Grayback. It wasn’t a triumph exactly. He still never looked directly at his scar in a mirror. When he woke up on especially cold days to it aching and stiff, the frustration burned up in him just as strongly as before. But the sight of Grayback’s face didn’t turn his stomach anymore.

“Home ice advantage,” Sirius said as he and Thomas high-fived, and Remus looked up at them. He watched the way Sirius smiled and laughed easily at something Thomas had said. He wouldn’t have done that last year. Sirius would have been zeroed in so hard it hurt.

“Do you notice,” Sirius said to Remus across the empty stalls between them. “That I am not asking if you’re okay every two seconds?”

Remus laughed. “Yes. I noticed. But in case you were wondering…I am. Really.”

Sirius smiled, pressed a kiss to his fingers and then reached it out towards Remus, only for it to be intercepted by Thomas, sitting down in his stall. He grabbed Sirius’ hand and pressed it against his own chest.

“Wow, thank you, Cap, I needed that.”

Sirius just rolled his eyes.

“Hey, that was for me,” Remus said.

“Intercepted.”

They both looked up when the locker room door open, only for Finn to come in, followed by a camera and holding a microphone.

“Merde, not one of these.” Sirius sank back into his stall. “Isn’t the Showtime thing enough?”

Remus laughed. “I think the Showtime documentary is going to be a little bit higher in quality. This looks like it’s just to torture you a little bit extra.”

“Hello and welcome to the room where it happens,” Finn said to the camera brightly. “This is an episode of In The Lion Den, and it’s me, hi, Finn O’Hara. We’re gonna ask the boys some playoff related questions and…” Finn smiled as he looked around behind the camera. “They’re all hiding from me now because I said that. Hey, Knuter-butter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, here I come, baby.” He did a mock little jog towards Leo.

“No,” Leo said, and Remus laughed as Finn sat down in his own stall beside Leo’s anyway, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“Hello, lover.” Finn grinned, and Remus had the briefest flash of alarm before he remembered. He caught Sirius’ eye, who smiled.

“Look at me,” Finn was saying, giving Leo a jostle. “Bothering a goalie before a game.”

“Kasey’s in,” Leo said pointedly.

“So, what you’re saying is I’m allowed to bother you.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Great. So, Leonardonius. Tell us…” Finn looked down at the card in his hand. “Tell us your favorite pre-game meal.” Finn sent a smile to the camera. “I know this one.”

“Say it at the same time,” Leo said.

Finn laughed. “Okay, yeah. Okay, three, two, one, pasta with chicken and peppers—yes.”

“Yes, you know me so well,” Leo said, then mockingly rolled his eyes at the camera.

“Oh, but I do.” Finn ruffled Leo’s hair—and friendship still lingered in the gesture. Remus remembered breaking that habit, especially in public. It was hard. It was working against forced instinct. Finn seemed to remember at the last moment, and let his hand cup the back of Leo’s neck briefly as he looked back down at his cards. “Okay, next question—especially interesting one for a goalie. If you could score a goal with any one of your teammates—I assume that means playing on the same line, then?—Who would you choose?”

Leo saw the opportunity and took it. He looked up, as if thinking hard. “Hmm…”

Finn bonked the microphone on his own forehead as he seemed to force himself to be quiet for as long as he could. Finally, he broke with a huff. “Really? Really? I am sitting right here.”

“I can see that, I’m just thinking.” Leo’s smile was playing around his mouth, his fingers messing with Logan’s necklace around his neck. “Hmm, let’s see…how about…”

Finn leaned forward, as if trying to block Leo’s view of the rest of the room.

“Let’s go with…” Leo said, looking at Finn now and grinning, their noses close together. “Bliz.”

Finn scoffed, pressed his palm over Leo’s face and pushed it gently away, making Leo laugh. “Bye, Knut. Captain!”

“Non,” Sirius said, and was out of his stall before Remus could blink.

“Oh, come on, Black!” Finn called after him. “No fun!” He sighed and looked at the camera. “Sorry, guys. But I guess we all know his superstitions, right?” Finn pointed at Remus. “Right, Lupin?”

“Mhm,” Remus hummed noncommittally, bending down to tape his sock.

“All right, Loops,” Finn said. He slid into the empty stall to Remus’ right. Remus sighed but smiled, crossing his arms.

“Yes?”

“What, you don’t want to talk to me?” Thomas asked, pressing an offended hand to his chest.

“You’re next, T, you’re next.” Finn cleared his throat. “Okay, Loops. Let’s see…” He scanned his cards. “Do you have a prediction for how many games this series against Vegas is going to go?”

“God no,” Remus said. “Why would I ever say something like that out loud?”

“T?” Finn held the microphone out to Thomas—much too close to his mouth.

“Can you back that thing up?” Thomas said. “Yes, thank you.” He looked right at the camera. “Hello. What is it thou beith my question?”

“Same question.”

“I’m not answering that in a thousandth of years. Next.”

“Fine. What’s the most important thing you do before a game?”

“Call my girlfriend.” He winked at the camera. “What’s up, Christmas?”

“Daww,” Finn laughed. “Very cute. Logan Tremblay’s sister, for those who don’t know.”

Thomas held out a fist. “Gotta love those Tremblay’s, eh?”

“Tell me about it,” Finn said, and bumped his own fist to Thomas’.

Remus laughed loudly, drawing the camera onto himself, only for it to follow his gaze to where Sirius was peaking his head back around the corner. “Is it safe?”

“Cap, come here.” Finn slapped his own thigh. “Come here, sit on my knee and let me tell ya a story.”

“Non.” Sirius did walk back into the room, though. He wasn’t dressed yet, still in only his leggings and shorts. Remus took a moment to admire the way the 12 pendant glinted against the strong muscles of his chest.

Finn held up a finger. “One question! One.”

Sirius sighed but let Finn jog up to him. He plucked the question card out of Finn’s hand and scanned them quickly before pointing. “Only that one.”

Finn snorted, sent the camera a look. “Fine. Oh, come on, really? Okay, fine. All right, Captain, let’s see, which question shall I choose…ah. This question looks good. What is your preferred pre-game song choice?”

Sirius smiled right into the camera when he said, “I don’t listen to music before a game.”

Finn rolled his eyes, nearly tilting back his entire head. “How interesting. Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome,” Sirius said. He patted Finn on the back before going to take his place in his stall again.

The camera went around to a few of the other guys. Remus liked the little segments, it was funny to watch the guys having fun—Evgeni putting a sweaty towel over Finn’s head, Finn going back to ask Leo another question four times—but he was glad for the pressure to be relieved when the cameras turned off. The Showtime crew had been in and out for the last couple days, pulling them aside for interviews with a bright ring light and a guy sitting in a chair asking them questions. Cliff, his name was, or something like Cliff. It was tiring, though, choosing your words carefully. Sirius came back looking drained each time. Remus had stumbled on something-like-Cliff and his crew watching a playback of one of Sirius’ interviews. He hadn’t caught much, he hadn’t wanted them to notice him listening, but he’d heard enough to understand Sirius’ quiet, locked-up posture. How do you think your parents feel about having a two-time Cup champion in the family? That’s more than your father.

Remus could have killed them. Didn’t they fucking know better?

But, even still. When he’d asked Sirius about it, all he had said was, “It went fine.” Remus was still trying to figure out if this was a moment to push, or to let Sirius come to him.

He was glad, at least, that they were starting the playoffs on home ground. It was their people out there, a sea of red who held grudges just as fiercely as their Captain did. Not to mention, if there was one team that Gryffindor held a rivalry with that was equal to the one with the Snakes, it was Vegas.

He went through his routine. He found himself missing Logan while he was warming up on the bikes, wishing for his calm presence beside him. He missed the way Logan would check quietly that he was okay, meeting his eyes in the mirror. He stretched out on the mats with Thomas, and went into the equipment room to sharpen his skates one last time. He rubbed his thumb along the sharp, even blade after, and he did feel calmer. Ready.

Coach’s talk was brief—they were all playing well. Remus had a steady point streak that had ended last game, but he wasn’t worried about rekindling it. Finn had shaken off the stupor that Logan’s absence had tripped him into. Sirius was murderous around the net, Evgeni drew penalties almost every time they needed them. Thomas pinched in and cut off good plays—he’d do the same to Vegas. And Kasey. Kasey was fighting through his pain in a way that Remus, had he not known about it, wouldn’t have been able to see. It was the very thing they had agreed on hating most about hockey, but it was necessary. At least for now. Kasey was doing so well, though, and Remus couldn’t help but be thrilled about it, even if it did keep Leo on the bench more games than not. There was always a chance, and a rather high one, too, that Leo would, like last year, suddenly find himself in the starting slot.

Remus looked over at Kasey now, strapping on his pads, white and maroon, hair kept out of his face by a ball cap. He wanted these last games, Remus knew, no matter how many there were. It could be four. Could be seven. Or they could take this thing all the way to the end. Back to back Cups.

Sirius was in his usual place by the door soon enough, the cameras honed into every bit of encouragement he gave, every smile or head tap he delivered. He looked good and ready, helmet shading his eyes a bit, even with the extra lights the Showtime crew had brought. Sirius changed shapes, just a little, for each player he greeted. He didn’t become different exactly, but he was quieter with James—who was loud—and gave specific encouragement to Cole—who ate it up and would no doubt do his best to carry Sirius’ words through at some point during the game. Remus waited his turn behind Thomas, who jumped up to bump chests with Evgeni before tapping helmets with Sirius.

Remus felt it when the cameras went to his face. He didn’t like it, but he liked that they couldn’t control what he and Sirius gave them. It wasn’t the same as a press conference, where they had no control over some lame rookie-reporter asking whether or not they brought the game home, or brought home life into the game.

Remus held out his fist as usual, and watched Sirius shift into what he considered his Sirius. Smile lines and shoulders not as tall and broad, but curving down into Remus, chin ducking down, too, as if to put them into their own little bubble of space. People were always hoping for some sign of a divide between them, some slip up in their professional lives that they could somehow blame on their personal ones. But instead, they got this. Sirius Black, on a characteristically long hot streak right now, smiling gently down at Remus and bumping his hand over Remus’ heart.

“Okay,” Sirius said simply. Maybe they couldn’t help their smiles, but their words would stay their own. Remus knew what he really wanted to say, and he brought their visors together in a gentle knock.

“Let’s take this one.”

And just like that they passed each other, Sirius with a glove briefly on Remus’ back. Remus heard some cameras flash as Sirius followed him—man, did they love that shot of their numbers and names across their shoulders, one after another. How many times could someone take the same picture?

Remus could hear the opening video booming through the walls. A compilation of that season’s best scores. Black steals it right from between—Potter digging deep out in the high ice—Oh, what a pass from Tremblay to O’Hara—Kasey Winter, the Great Blizzard! Can’t drive through him, no sir! It gave him a jolt when he heard his own name. Lupin! It’s a power play goal!

He realized that his heart was pounding, and as they came out of the tunnel to spill onto the ice, the crowd went wild. The fact that this was real clicked into place all over again. He’d been realizing and re-realizing ever since he’d signed his NHL contract (with a pen that he kept in his bedside drawer and looked at sometimes.) He was a top six starter for a play-off team in the National Hockey League.

This was real, despite the face and number looming at him in gray and gold from across the ice. He no longer felt like he was skating out on the ice to play against Fenrir Grayback. He felt like he was going out, with his team, to play the Vegas Golden Knights.

Back here again, Lee! Good Lord, was the stadium this loud when you were a Lion?

Ha! Gryffindor fans have always been passionate. But all that goes to say, I’m no Sirius Black. There’s the Captain now, at the end of the line, as usual, behind Lupin. Falling into stride with his long-time line mate, James Potter.

Oh, I met his son, Harry, earlier. Adorable.

Did you? That kids gonna be trouble when he’s older if he’s anything like his old man.

That’s for sure. Welcome in to Game Night in Gryffindor everyone, as we begin game one of the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs. The Lions take on Mark Stone and his Vegas Golden Knights tonight. These two teams have a lot of history, don’t they, Lee?

Oh, you can say that again. The highlight on your screen right now is just one of the nasty fights that have broken out between these two teams.

I wouldn’t so much call it a fight as Fenrir Grayback getting what’s coming to him. No doubt Lion fans still have some words for him tonight, leftover from last season.

Ha! Would you now?

The kid’s got a temper on him that’s for sure.

Can’t say you’re wrong about that. Should make for an interesting series. The Knights have been a sorry victim to injury this season. Grayback was out for almost a month with an upper body, a few other guys with lingering issues. We’ll see how they hold up against the Lions tonight, eh?

We will. The Lions have remained fairly healthy for the most part. We’ll see.

“Think he’ll try and say hello again?” Thomas asked as he and Remus dropped out of the skate around. Remus could feel a welcomed burn of warmth in his muscles.

It was a long road ahead, but Remus was familiar with those.

“Not if I can help it,” Remus said, sliding up to the boards for some water. He wanted the National Anthem to be done with already. He wanted the puck to drop. But he took his time looking over at the other side. His heart startled a little when he noticed one player, hovering near the center ice line. Grayback, he thought instantly, tensing up.

But no. It wasn’t Grayback. Grayback was by the goal, not even looking at Remus’ side of the ice.

Théo Angevine, number 8, was standing there, passing a puck to himself lightly between one side of his stick to the other. He glanced over at them once. Twice. Towards Sirius. When he noticed Remus’ gaze with his calm brown eyes, he turned away.

Sirius had never so much as mentioned Théo’s name before that story about his pre-game tradition. Remus’ heart tugged at the image of a small Sirius, gray eyes going wide at an act so simple as someone offering him half of a sandwich. Even more simple—that sandwich tasting sweet. So desperate for a bit of softness in his life that he would settle for just a taste of it. He never mentioned anything, really, that came before the Lions. His family. The most Remus had ever gotten about it was a sense of how horrible it had been, but that was mostly what he picked up from body language. He knew there had been physical abuse. He knew that he had been driven harder than a work horse. He knew Sirius’ darkest moment had been needing to leave Regulus behind.

It occurred to Remus that maybe it wasn’t only that Sirius didn’t mention it. Maybe Remus himself was too careful about not asking.

Sirius was a very carefully aligned person. The superstitions were only the tip of the iceberg.

“Jeez,” Thomas said, coming to stand beside Remus. “What are you thinking about with a face like that?”

Remus looked at him. He shouldn’t be thinking about this now. This was maybe one of the most important games in his career. And Sirius seemed okay. Joking around the locker room. He hated the Showtime interviews, that was all. He didn’t like cameras in the locker room, Remus could see that much. He’d kicked them out a few times already, claiming a player’s only meeting, only to sit back down in his stall and go about business as usual, only with his shoulders considerably more relaxed.

“Nothin’,” Remus said, then nudged Thomas. “The goal we’re gonna score tonight.”

“Excuse me, that would be goals, plural.”

Remus smiled. “That a promise?”

“Sure is.”

Remus just laughed, but he let his eyes wander back over to the Golden Knights. To Théo. He was skating mostly by himself, handling a puck deftly with his head down.

Sirius skated to a hard stop in front of him and reached up a glove to gently turn Remus’ face towards his own. Remus couldn’t help but smile. Sirius thought he was looking for Grayback.

“Eyes on me, mon loup,” Sirius said.

Remus tapped a glove to Sirius’ chest. “Always.”

“You know what I want to do?” Sirius said as he squirted some water into his mouth.

“Hm,” Remus said, eyes flicking momentarily back to the gray and gold jersey.

“I want to get a tattoo,” Sirius said.

Remus’ head wasn’t the only one that snapped towards him. Cole looked up, James and Thomas, too.

Thomas laughed. “All right, Cap.” He nudged Cole. “Me and twenty know a great place.”

“Tattoo…” James said from Remus’ other side, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully. “Should I also get a tattoo?”

“What?” Remus shook his head, caught off guard. “You want what? Of—of what?”

“Of my wedding ring,” Sirius said. He tapped his ring finger through his thick glove. “Can’t wear it while I play.”

Sirius said no more, just patted Remus’ helmet then skated away to trace the Gryffindor logo.

Finn leaned over from a few slots down the bench and whistled to get Remus’ attention before sending him a grin and a wink. “That’s what we boys like to call distraction.”

Remus stared at him for a moment, then laughed, looking back out onto the ice. Sirius was still looking at him, mouthguard hanging out between his teeth as he smiled.

“Yeah,” Remus said. “Right…”

Logan pressed his knee out in front of him in a stretch, forearms down on the matt and head bowed. His headphones were loud in his ears, cranking the playlist that he shared with Finn and Leo. They’d been finding things that helped close the distance, and Logan hadn’t thought Leo’s idea to share music would help much, but that was before his heart gave an excited kick each time a notification popped up that a new song had been added.

There was a scuff on his head, knocking his hat askew and getting his attention. Logan looked up to see Luke sitting down on the mat beside him. He pushed his headphones around his neck.

“Sup,” Luke said.

Logan shrugged. “Fucking Bruins.”

“Amen.” Luke got down into the same stretch. He had a blue sweatshirt on, and a backwards cap. His short brown hair stuck out over the adjustable bar. “The fuck is this? Pigeon pose, or something like that?”

Logan snorted and pushed up onto his palms, feeling the stretch on his core. “Ouais? Don’t know why though.”

Luke gave him a rare smile and tucked the ties of his sweatshirt away so they didn’t get beneath his arms. “So. We’re on the same line.”

“We were good in practice.”

They had been great in practice. It was the closest thing Logan could think of to playing with Finn. Not even playing with Sirius had felt that good. They were too similar, both too hungry for the puck. Luke was different. As soon as he had the puck, he didn’t try for movement like Sirius did. He was incredible at keep-away, though, and that bought him all the time in the world to asses which lanes were open, to see all of his options. Logan, like with Finn, was good at being just where Luke needed him to be. Plus, they were friends now. Logan hadn’t been sure in the beginning, but the second Logan had poked fun at him—just a little, testing the waters with a jab at the way he skated—Luke and given him a hard shove and went after him about his height. And that had been that.

“Yeah,” Luke said. “We were good.”

He sounded hesitant, though, which sent an entire new avalanche of worried, insecure thoughts through Logan’s head. The kind that came with new friends. Each step could feel like the wrong one—especially when you wanted that other person to like you. Logan had had those his entire life. It could be terribly difficult to remember to just be himself and not only try to please the other person. He’d learned a lot from Finn and Leo in that regard.

“Is that…okay?” Logan asked hesitantly. He almost hadn’t. He wasn’t sure he could handle it if the answer was no, at least not tonight.

“Yeah, of course,” Luke said. “I was just thinking…we could be playing your boys in the second round. If we win out against Boston.”

Logan arched a brow. “The Lions aren’t my boys anymore.”

“I know,” Luke said. “I meant your boys.”

“Oh.” Logan couldn’t help but smile. Your. “Right. Ouais, we could.”

“We’ll be playing for the Cup. Trying to knock them out.”

“I know,” Logan said.

“I just…I want to make sure…”

Logan turned to look at him. He paused the music that was still coming through softly from his headphones. “Are you asking me if I can play against them?”

“No. God, Jesus, no.” Luke shook his head. The wedge of green in his brown eyes looked especially bright tonight. “I’m just saying—I know it’s hard for you. I’ll like—I’ll be on the ice. I know we practiced it where you’re the one who takes shit to goal, but…I can get up the ice instead. If you ever need me to.”

Logan froze, then realized his leg was beginning to ache in this position and pushed himself up. Luke followed, brown eyes…amused, maybe.

“Oh. Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.”

“Sorry,” Logan said. “Sorry I said…I didn’t mean that you’d think I can’t…”

“It’s okay. I understand. The media goes after you enough for that storyline, you don’t need it from me. Normally it’s just guys switching teams. You’re just dumb enough to have fallen in fucking love with yours.”

Logan couldn’t help the laugh that startled out of him. It was still such a surprise, and so nice, to hear things like that in normal conversation. Percy leaning over the back of the bus seat and ask him which of his lover boys he was texting, and if it was Finn to type something strange and nonsensical like yellow hi!! Morgan asking what Logan was up to this summer, and if he wanted to bring Finn and Leo around to his place in Miami some time.

Logan had never had the chance to use the term we like this before. We’ll be in France for July, but what about August? We’re talking about training in New Orleans for a week or two. Or, when Zibanejad asked after his favorite restaurant in Gryffindor, we love this place called Sid’s, we’ll take you out some time.

We we we we we.

He was sure Finn and Leo were feeling the same, but the we that Luke was talking about was entirely different. There was the bigger we, the hockey we. The team.

We could be playing against Logan, had no doubt crossed Finn and Leo’s mind. We might have to take a Cup chance from Logan.

“Thanks,” Logan said. “Really. Merci, that means a lot.”

Luke just shrugged in his typical way that Logan was coming to interpret as meaning the same thing as a big smile from Leo, or a little shake of the shoulders from Finn.

“I just know it’d be hard,” Luke said.

Logan nodded. He was tempted to ask him about Saint, but he didn’t. He tried to picture someone, a new person especially, asking him about Finn or Leo before they had come out, and flinched. He wouldn’t ask. Luke would have to come to him.

“What?” Luke said, and Logan realized he had been staring at him.

Logan gave an imitation of Luke’s shrug and pulled Luke’s hat down over his eyes.

“You have resting bitch face,” Logan said.

Luke punched him in the shoulder.

Remus lowered himself into the metal tub beside Thomas’, filled to the brim with ice, and let out a shaky breath.

“One down,” Thomas said, flicking through his phone as the ice clinked softly around his body.

“How the fuck do you like these?” Remus could already feel his teeth chattering.

“It’s so relaxing, man,” Thomas said. “Gets the blood flowing, slows my heart, and I wake up good as new in the morning. Fucking love it.”

“My balls feel like they’re going to freeze off.”

Thomas tisked his tongue. “Accept the cold, Lupin. C’mon, you’re a child of real winters! Embrace it.”

Remus tried to relax his neck, to slow his breathing. “I want to embrace a warm towel.”

“Warm towel or warm Sirius?”

“Hm, both.”

Thomas just laughed and then turned his phone to show Remus a video of two puppies.

His body did manage to get more accustomed to it, after another few minutes. He felt his muscles release a little bit, or maybe he was just going pleasantly numb. He opened his eyes when Thomas sighed happily and put his phone down.

“How’s Noelle?”

Thomas grinned and reached up to pass some of the icy water of his head and face, the droplets dewing up like crystals in the tight black curls of his hair. It was the longest Remus had ever seen it, with shaved smooth edges by his temples but longer at the crown. “What gave me away?”

“The heart eyes,” Remus laughed.

“Her season’s over, she’s gonna come stay with me for the playoffs.”

“You guys thinking about moving in together?”

Thomas gave a wavering sort of nod. “Well, as much as we actually can. We lived together last summer but, you know. Different cities and all that.”

“Yeah,” Remus said.

“Wish I’d gotten you one tonight,” Thomas said. “Against Fuckrir Grumpback.”

Remus laughed. “Ah, right that’s his name. I’d forgotten. We have three more games to score.”

“Oh, three is it? Cocky.”

Maybe it made Remus sound a bit more sure than he actually felt, but he was okay with that. “Honestly, I didn’t even think about him that much tonight.”

“Yeah?” Thomas smiled. “That’s good, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Remus looked out over the rest of the recovery room. Kasey with some ice around his thigh, Layla talking softly to him. Finn and Evgeni walking in to tape up some jammed fingers. “Felt funny, though. Like I was forgetting something.”

“Pretty sure that’s something you’re allowed to forget, man.”

“Fuckrir Grumpback?” Remus snorted. “Yeah, I think I can forget him, too.”

Thomas threw his head back and laughed, settling back into the water.

Remus had closed his eyes, trying to breathe through the cold, which had surged back up into his senses again, when Thomas spoke in a low voice.

“Think Kase is gonna make it through?”

Remus had to fight down the urge to open his eyes too quickly. When he did, Thomas was looking at him. He seemed to be actually asking the question, not only posing it to see what Remus might say. His brown eyes turned sad.

“You know something,” Thomas said softly. “Don’t you.”

Remus didn’t say anything, and Thomas sighed but nodded. He looked over at Kasey, who was laughing at something Layla was saying to him.

“I feel like its changing,” Thomas said.

“What?”

“The locker room. You know? You can feel it happening sometimes. Especially after a Cup, that’s what guys say. First Logan. Kasey. God, probably Dumo soon.”

“That’s what happens,” Remus said.

“I know,” Thomas nodded. “God, I know, but I miss it. I miss, like, this time one year ago. I mean, other than you being on the team, of course.”

“You’re sweet,” Remus said wryly.

“But it was all—it was all beginning, it was all happening for the first time.”

“Why is that better?” Remus asked.

“What?” Thomas asked.

“Why is the first time better?”

Thomas smiled. “Are we going philosophical?”

Remus laughed. “Sort of. I mean, some first times are the sloppiest. You don’t know what the fuck you’re doing.”

“Are you talking about sex?”

That made Remus laugh louder, and he splashed some water at Thomas. “I mean anything. You don’t know what you’re doing, you’re not good at whatever you’re trying to do, you’re scared…So, why’s it always feel so…”

“Shiny,” Thomas said.

Remus nodded. “Shiny. Why is it better?”

Thomas thought for a moment. “Not better, then. But there’s something different.”

“I guess I can agree to that,” Remus said, then looked up with a smile when Sirius walked through the door. “Oh, hi there, Mr. Top Shelf.”

Sirius laughed and crouched down beside Remus’ tub, dipping his fingers into the icy water. “Mr. Top Shelf?”

“Uh, yeah,” Thomas said. “Since when do you shoot high? Since tonight.”

“Since their goalie can’t get his hands up,” Sirius said, then leaned into kiss Remus softly. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Remus pressed a cold hand against his warm neck. “This sucks.”

“You’re getting out soon, embrace it!” Thomas said.

Sirius didn’t even jerk away from the touch. “Well, I’m sweating, an ice bath sounds pretty good to me right about now.”

Remus smiled. “Oh yeah? You getting in?”

“Not a chance—non, hey.”

Remus laughed and splashed him again, ice clattering onto the floor.

“Keep it in the tub!” Layla called from where she was guiding Kasey through some stretches.

“Sorry,” Sirius called back, before turning his attention back on Remus, tucking his fingers into his damp hair and pressing a kiss to his temple. “Gonna shower and get changed. Home in twenty?”

Remus nodded. He spent the moment that Sirius smiled back at him searching his face for any of the uneasiness that had been there at the beginning of the game, but it seemed to have dissipated with the win.

“Okay,” Sirius said, and Remus watched him walk away, fist bumping Cole on his way out.

“This is you,” Thomas said, and then slumped into his bath some more, gazing up at an imaginary Sirius, batting his eyes.

“Fuck off,” Remus laughed, and groaned as he pushed himself out of the tub.

The house felt quiet and warm, but it had the unsteadiness that came with the knowledge of an early flight the next morning. Remus watched Sirius dump a can of tomato sauce into a pan to heat up while the pasta boiled. Their bags were ready by the door—Remus’ doing. Really, they should have all been flying out tonight, but Remus was glad to be able to sleep at least a few hours in his own bed. He would have to let the adrenaline wear off first. He could see the very same coils of energy in the set of Sirius’ shoulders. It wasn’t unease, exactly. It was just the game.

Remus fiddled with the salt and pepper bowls they kept on the table. They had little spoons in them, as if made for fairy. He scooped the white grains up before letting them spill back down, over and over.

“I saw Théo,” he said, finally.

Sirius was quiet for a moment. He put a dish in the sink. “Ouais. Me too.” He glanced over his shoulder when Remus didn’t reply right away. “We’ve seen him before.”

“I know, but I didn’t—you know.” Remus scooped up the salt again. “I didn’t know before. And…I think maybe he looked at you a few times.”

Sirius’ release of breath was short. Maybe a little impatient—or he was just tired. “They all look at me.”

It was true enough, but it was still strange to hear Sirius say it. Even if his fame was blunt and obvious, Sirius rarely acknowledged it outright.

“You don’t want to talk to him?” Remus asked.

“Not—not now.” Sirius didn’t look at him, still had his back turned as he carefully spooned out a single noodle to test for doneness. “Not with Grayback on his team. Not with the playoffs.”

“Not with Grayback? What’s that mean?”

“It means…you know what it means.”

Remus switched to the pepper. Black and gray and red, more finely ground. The sound these grains made again each other was softer.

“I’m not worried about Grayback,” Remus said. “I told you that. I’m talking about Théo, and that story just sounded like it meant a lot to you—”

“Re, I’m over it. I don’t really think about it. I just told you that story, that’s it.”

Remus hesitated. The tension was back in Sirius’ shoulders now, and Remus was sorry to have put it there, but it was moments like these that Remus finally felt like he was getting a handle on. Moments where Sirius tensed up, but let something slip.

“You’re over what?” Remus asked.

Sirius let out a little laugh, tired and frail. “Re…”

“No, really, baby, over what?” Remus stood from the table, walking forward to the island to lean his elbows on it.

Sirius didn’t turn away from the stove. “You’re talking about Théo, fine, but you’re really trying to get me to talk about my parents. I know.”

Remus pressed his lips together. So, he was going to have to push, then.

“You don’t talk about them.”

Sirius made a dismissive gesture with his hand that was entirely something picked up from Pascal. “I’m over it.”

“Not thinking about it doesn’t mean you’re over it. And you—you don’t have to be over it, you just have to…like, you know…process it.”

“Process what?” Sirius turned around. His grey eyes were hard, the dish towel in his hands twisted tight. “That some kid was nice to me when we were little? I’m not that pathetic.”

“I never said that,” Remus said softly. “I just said you can talk to me about it.”

“I don’t like talking about it. I talk to Heather. I go to therapy. I’m better than I was.”

“I don’t really love talking about Grayback, either. I still told you. And I felt ten thousand times better tonight. Because you were there for me tonight. And you could only do that because you knew exactly what I was going through.”

“Re,” Sirius sighed. “Come on. Not tonight, okay? I don’t understand why you’re bringing this up.”

“Because of the Showtime thing,” Remus said. He walked around the kitchen island, pressing gently into Sirius’ space. Sirius let him, which was a good sign. “I know you don’t like the cameras in the locker room. And I know…I overheard them watching your interview. I know their questions got a little touchy the other day.”

Sirius shook his head and turned back around. He reached for the plate he’d already cleaned and ran it under the tap. “It’s fine.”

Remus reached out and turned the tap off. He took the plate out of Sirius’ hands and set it down.

Sirius sighed. They let the quiet of the kitchen settle around them again, with just the faint bubbling of the pasta and warmth of the steam interrupting them.

“I…I am much better with it,” Sirius said. “I am.”

“You are,” Remus nodded. “I know.”

“But…Ouais.” Sirius gave a little eye roll, as if he was annoyed with himself. “They stirred a few things up, I guess. That’s all.”

Remus pushed his hands into Sirius’ hair, carding his fingers through it the way he knew Sirius liked. Sure enough, Sirius let his eyes slip closed.

“It’s nice when it starts getting longer like this.”

Sirius’ smile looked young with his eyes closed like that. It looked like the first time Remus actually saw him smile, a real smile, all those years ago. “Oh yeah?”

“So I can do this.” Remus tightened his grip a little and angled Sirius’ head down to kiss him. Sirius made a soft sound into it, his hands smoothing over Remus’ shoulders.

“Don’t shut yourself in on me, baby,” Remus whispered into it, then kissed him harder.

Sirius smiled at that, pressed their foreheads together. “The hotel in Vegas has a pool.”

Remus laughed, surprised. “Okay?”

“Just came to me, I don’t know why.” Sirius cradled Remus closer, hands low on his back. “I…I don’t talk about it because I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to know what to say. Not with me.”

Sirius nodded slowly, then sighed and kissed Remus again. “Can I not know while we eat? I’m starving.”

Remus laughed. “Yeah. Go sit, I’ll finish it up.”

Leo stared down at his phone. He was half listening to what Finn was saying to him and Logan, who was on FaceTime with the iPad propped up against the pillows. Finn was walking around the bedroom, haphazardly packing. The sky was barely pink outside. Leo would usually have been anxiously helping him, and reprimanding him for not doing it sooner, but there was this. His phone.

“Alex is showing me this place,” Logan was saying, and then a name that Leo didn’t quite catch.

“Aw, no. I wanted to take you guys there.” Finn sighed and tossed a t-shirt in the direction of his bag and let out a big yawn. “Tell him thanks for nothing.”

Leo was still staring at his phone. At the text that had come in an hour earlier. He hadn’t opened it. The blue dot of unread still signaled beside the message preview.

Hey just got my first call up! Made me think of you. Hope…

“—right, Le?”

Leo looked up. Finn was looking at him and Logan was doing something off-screen—making breakfast by the sound of it. He was shirtless and looked soft and familiar in his in kitchen lights. Leo ached for him. He clicked off his phone and set it face-down on the bed by his own bag. “Sorry, what?”

“We’re not saying the Rangers should win anything,” Finn said. “But we’re not rooting for the Bruins, either.”

“Oh. Right, no, definitely not.”

Leo knelt on the bed before letting himself flop onto his stomach in front of the iPad, chin in his hands. The noise made Logan look up at the screen, and Leo got a perfect view of watching him smile. “You look handsome like that.”

“Without a shirt?” Logan laughed. “Yes, you have told me this.”

“No. Cooking.”

Finn laughed from behind him. “Pretty sure he’s buttering toast, baby.”

“I like it when he uses his hands.”

Finn tossed another shirt in. “Ooh, can’t argue with that.”

Logan smiled at Leo again, and made a grabbing hand at his screen. “Makes me want to smush your cheeks when you sit like that.”

“What are you actually making?” Leo asked.

Logan held up a piece of toast and laughed. “Toast.”

Leo smiled. “Do I still make it better?”

“Leo, you make everything better.” Logan glanced up at him again, through his eyelashes. His accent was thick with sleep. “There’s never any chance of that changing.”

“Good,” Leo said, then turned his head int he direction of Finn. “Hey, Fish, when’s our flight?”

“Do not passive-aggressively ask me when our flight is,” Finn said, and gave Leo a little smack on the thigh. “I’m disorganized but you love me anyway.”

“I do love you anyway,” Leo said, and turned to Logan. “You however keep distracting him and I refuse to miss this plane to kick Vegas’ ass again.”

“Ouais, you do that. We’ll try to beat the Bruins this time.”

Leo nodded, trying not to think too hard about what that would mean. If the Lions won this round, and the Rangers won theirs…

“All right, have a good game,” Finn flopped on his stomach beside Leo and leaned in close to the phone with an exaggerated kissing noise. “Love you, baby. Wish you were on our plane.”

“Ouais,” Logan said, mouth full of toast. Logan leaned down on his elbows, and Leo took the silver fleur-de-lis pendant in his fingers, as if he could touch Logan instead. “Fly safely.”

“You, too,” Leo said. “Text you when we land.”

Finn groaned after they ended the call and rolled into Leo until he was on his back, looking up at him. Leo pressed a quick kiss to his lips, then laughed when Finn pressed a palm to each of his cheeks and squeezed.

“Wanna watch more of that show on the plane?” Leo asked around his palms.

“Yeah, definitely,” Finn said, and closed his eyes as he let his hands drop. “Tired just thinking about going through an airport right now.”

“Yeah,” Leo said vaguely. He studied Finn’s face, stroking his red hair back from his forehead. He thought of his phone. The text didn’t mean anything. He should probably just ignore it, or delete it, but he couldn’t help the part of him that felt like that was admitting defeat.

“That’s nice,” Finn mumbled, eyes still closed and pressing up against Leo’s palm.

“You look so much younger when it’s pushed back,” Leo said.

“Are you telling me I look old?”

Leo laughed. “No, I’m just saying.” He pressed a kiss to Finn’s forehead. “C’mon. Gotta zip that suitcase of yours.”

He let himself get a little lost in the familiar chaos that was getting Finn out of the house on time. The running back and forth, nervous energy of him. It made Leo smile to think of himself waiting by the door while Finn and Logan walked back and forth remembering things that Leo had asked them if they had packed ten times. Charger? Toothbrush? Finn walked back and forth more slowly this time, though, as if he needed to feed off of Logan’s energy.

“Set?” Finn asked when they were locking up the apartment. He was turned down the hallway and held out his hand behind him, in the perfect position for Leo to take.

Text be damned, Leo thought, as he laced their fingers together. Thank God Jack Archer had been what he was in high school, thank God he had done what he’d done. And anyway. It was a long time ago now. Leo should forget about it. But things that hurt were stubborn that way.

“Loops!”

Remus passed blindly in the direction of Thomas’ voice. It felt like flying to be able to think like that, to be able to find someone with such ease. He shouldered back against Stone as he turned to see Thomas catch his pass on his stick. It pinged hard off of the crossbar and deflected into the net. The whistle blew.

“Fuck,” Remus breathed, and pushed his helmet back, taking his mouth guard out while they reset. The Vegas crowd was singing some song that Remus had heard so many times he’d forgotten the name. He glanced up at the clock. Five minutes left in the game and they’d been trying to break the tie of 3-3 since the first period.

“They’re singing again,” Thomas asked as they made their way towards the bench to swap out with Pascal’s line. “Why are they always fucking singing?”

“Look who they’re rooting for,” Remus said, and gave Finn a tap as they swapped out. “They’ve got nothing better to do.”

“Good shift,” Layla asked as they settled onto the bench.

“Thanks,” Remus said. “iPad?”

She passed it to him, and Remus nodded his thanks quickly before turning back to look again. Layla had a funny expression on her face. Watchful almost.

“All right?” Remus asked.

She blinked, and then smiled. “Yeah, you?”

Remus nodded, trying to shake the feeling that she had realized what her face had shown. He was flooded with adrenaline right now. It could be nothing. He looked down at the iPad. “Just want to pull this thing off in regulation.”

“Ouais,” Sirius said from the other side of Thomas and Olli. “We’re—allez, switch—I want to sit next to him—ouais, merci.”

Thomas snorted, but allowed Sirius to scoot past him to settle beside Remus. If Remus didn’t think the cameras were on them, he would have gave in and smiled in the dopey way he wanted to. I want to sit next to him.

“We’re playing mostly in our zone, we don’t want a momentum shift,” Sirius said. He leaned in to watch the shift with Remus as the puck slapped the boards somewhere beside them. In a lower voice, he said, “You know what it does to me when you no-look pass.”

“Why do you think I do it?” Remus clicked off the iPad and sent him a grin—maybe not the dopey love-struck one he had felt a moment ago, but one sharpened by the way Sirius’ voice sounded when he whispered to him on the bench like that.

Sirius’s smile was a little dopey, a little love-struck, and Remus stared at it for a moment before letting his own melt into that, too. He felt that he should probably have stopped feeling like he shouldn’t show these things by now, but it was still a pleasant surprise when he remembered that he could.

Black and Lupin…strategizing on the bench. Big smiles. Expecting to get out of this tie do you think, Dean?

I’d think so. This is a confident team, Lee. Stanley Cup champions. I’d say they badly want a second look.

Pascal came close twice in the time it took for the clock to tick down to three minutes. Kasey made three saves, one of them that made Remus hold his breath with the way he had to stretch down into the splits, glove hand arching over to snatch the puck out of the air.

Finn put his body in front of two pucks and took one hard in the ankle. He sat on the bench, head down and covered by his arms next to Leo, and let the ache wear off.

“Game update, Layla?” Leo called when Finn got back out there again, Remus taking his seat.

“Bruins are down 2 to the Rags,” Layla said.

Leo just nodded serenely. “All righty.”

“Keeping track of Logan?” Remus asked, wiping his visor clear of sweat and ice.

“A little.” Leo glanced at him, blue eyes bright in the shadow of his cap. “I get really nervous sometimes that he’s hurt and I don’t know about it.”

“Aw, Peanut,” Thomas said, leaning over from beside Remus.

“I know there’s nothing I could do either way, like even if he was here.” Leo offered them a smile. “But I don’t know. I get nervous.”

“Second line!” Coach’s voice boomed.

Remus stood to swapped out with Sirius’ line.

The ice calmed it all. Thoughts of Kasey, Sirius, Logan. Grayback who had skated out, too. He stayed in Remus’ peripheral vision, but not like a looming shark. Like all the others. Just another part of the game. And if Remus’ shoulders were burning that was because he was skating hard. It was because Thomas was right where he needed him to be, and so was Evgeni. Remus called for the puck, and felt it in his chest when Evgeni nailed Grayback in a mid-ice hit before he could get to Remus. The crowd booed. Remus just carried on up the ice, head low. He was fast. He’d been told that his entire career, and the clock might be quick, too, but he wanted to try and beat it.

“Loops!” Thomas’ voice came.

Remus was tempted to try the same thing. No-look. Keep his eyes on the defensemen in front of him. But he saw Ullmark reposition, subtly, ready for the pass. He put on the breaks hard, threw the defensemen off of him, and flicked the puck up.

The goal horn blared.

“Fuck,” Remus breathed, then laughed, and then he put his arms up just in time for Thomas to happily slam into him against the boards.

“Two-nothing,” Logan said, voice coming through the iPad speakers. “Impressive.”

“You guys will pull through, too,” Finn said, then grinned at Leo. “And Le’s getting the start for game four. I’m calling it now.”

They were laying in bed, Logan on the iPad between them, Leo and Finn’s feet tangled. Leo felt like his eyes should be half-closed, but instead he was wide awake. He and Finn had watched the highlights of the Rangers’ game, but those wouldn’t have showed any bad hits. Twitter wasn’t saying anything either, but Leo wanted to be sure.

“You’re okay, right?” he asked.

“Me?” Logan said, head popping out again through the neck of his hoodie. “Ouais, of course. Why?”

“Nothin’,” Leo said.

Finn smiled. “He’s just checking. Classic goalie, doesn’t like any of his players out of his sight.”

“It’s true,” Leo confessed.

“I’m okay, Soleil.” Logan fell back into his pillows, too, with a groan. “But these pillows are too hard and I wish you were hear to change the lightbulbs.”

“Me too,” Leo laughed.

Logan smiled, then looked up. “Hold on, my tea is here.”

They listened to Logan answer the door, voice changing the way he did when he talked to strangers. A little nervous, accent going heavier. Ah—yes, okay, thank you. Yeah, good night.

“You okay?” Finn asked while they waited.

“Me?” Leo looked over at him, his red hair sticking up against the pillow.

“You were quiet on the plane home.”

“What’s happening?” Logan asked, settling back on the bed with a steaming mug this time.

“Le was just quiet on the plane,” Finn said.

“I’m…” Leo hesitated. Hey just got my first call up. Made me think of you. “I’m fine.”

“Okay…” Finn said, but Leo could see the look he exchanged with Logan, even through a screen.

“No, no, I’m good,” Leo said but he picked up his phone from where it lay on the sheets beside him. “I just…Well, the other day I got…”

He felt Finn tense beside him, even sitting up a bit.

“Leo,” Logan said, voice tight and almost a little harsh. Leo looked up at him, surprised to find his green eyes wide, afraid. Finn was staring at him the same way.

“What?” Leo began, but then he realized. He’d trailed off, holding his phone, and it sounded like—

“Oh, God, no, I didn’t get a phone call. No, nothing like that.”

Finn let out a breath and slumped back down again, head dropping back against the pillows, eyes closed. “Jesus Christ.”

Leo reached out to rub a hand over his chest. “Sorry, sweetheart, sorry. No, I just got a text.”

Finn opened his eyes, blinking. “It’s okay, I just need to restart my heart. One sec.”

Logan laughed a little, but his eyes were still on Leo. “Text from who?”

Leo hesitated, then sighed. He knew what would happen next, but he wasn’t about to hide it from them. He didn’t want to. They knew all about Leo’s high school relationship—all of its lows. He wanted advice and, if he was being perfectly honest, he liked how protective they got. “From Jack.”

Their reaction was identical. Logan rolled his eyes, Finn made a bleh sound and lifted his head up. Leo couldn’t help but laugh.

“High-school Jack?” Finn made sure. “Your gross, idiot—”

“Stupide,” Logan muttered, blowing on his mug.

“Selfish,” Finn raised his eyes to the ceiling as if more adjectives were up there. “Insensitive, book hating—”

“Your butterscotch cookie hating,” Logan added pointedly.

“Meanie, butt-head, protein shake addict, triple shot latte monstrosity,” Finn was still going and Leo laughed harder, the bed shaking a little beneath them.

“Fuck-head,” Logan said.

“Asshole of a high school boyfriend texted you?”

Leo passed Finn the phone with the still unread message. “Yep.”

Finn sent him a questioning look, and when Leo nodded, he clicked on it. “Hey just got my first call up,” Finn read out. “Made me think of you. Hope you’re good.”

Logan scoffed. “Hope you’re good?” He raised his voice, chin tilted up like he could shout right through the camera. “Ouais, he’s good. He’s got a Cup and two boyfriends.”

“He’s good,” Finn said to the phone. “Leave.”

“Who even has him?” Logan asked, shaking his head like he was about to scold Jack from afar. It was a gesture that was very much like his mother.

Leo bit his lip. “He got called up from Hartford.” His eyes went to Logan, who all but choked on his drink.

“Non,” Logan said. “Non, non, non.”

“Nom, nom, nom,” Finn said, but he looked just as horrified. “I thought he was playing in the AHL for—for Tampa!”

“I did too, but no, he’s going to New York.” Leo said. “I kind of stopped keeping track though.” He reached out and brushed a hand through Finn’s hair. “Why waste any more of my energy you know?”

“Jack’s in New York now?” Finn asked. “Shit. Lo…”

“He’s going to be in my locker room,” Logan said, and then the camera went dark, like he had knocked his phone in the bed sheets and quilt. All they heard was a muffled groan of, “Non.”

“I looked it up,” Leo said. “He’ll be in your practice tomorrow morning and then, well, obviously for the next Bruins game.”

“I hope he fucks up and gets sent down,” Finn said.

Leo laughed. “No, come on.”

“He deserves it.”

“We were in high school,” Leo said, but he didn’t even sound convincing to himself.

Logan appeared again, looking rumbled like he had set his tea down to face-plant into the too-hard pillows. His green eyes were set, but not in the glare Leo had expected. It was almost earnest. Determined.

“I’m going to keep track of how many times I get to tell him I’m Leo’s boyfriend.”

“Aw, sweetheart,” Leo said, heart pulling. “You’re gonna make me cry.”

“Non, non,” Logan said, smiling.

Finn pressed a kiss to Leo’s cheek and kept his lips there when he said, “Nom, nom.”

Leo laughed and turned his head for a real kiss. Behind his closed eyes, he saw the flash of Logan taking a screenshot.

“You must have six hundred of those by now,” Finn said.

“Yes, and I love them,” Logan said simply.

“You should look through them all whenever Jack’s around,” Finn said.

“That might be kind of weird of him,” Leo said.

Finn scoffed and got an arm around Leo’s shoulder to pull him in against his chest. “It was weird of him to break my baby’s heart.”

Leo just rested his temple against Finn’s shoulder and smiled at Logan. “It wasn’t heartbreak exactly. It was…it was just hard.”

“Sounds like heartbreak to me,” Finn said.

Logan shifted on his end of the call. “I don’t like talking about your hearts breaking.”

Finn pressed a kiss to his fingers and pressed it to the screen. “All healed up, baby.”

Leo paused for a moment although, beneath his cheek and hand, he didn’t feel Finn do the same. No tense up. Leo tried to look up at Finn’s face without moving too much, and it was calm. Logan’s too.

Leo knew how much pain they had put each other through. Somehow, the word heartbreak still startled him, even if the two of them said it like it was a fact.

“Don’t worry about Jack, Le,” Finn said, and Leo blinked, realizing they were both looking at him. “You don’t have to reply. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“I know.” Leo pulled the iPad closer. “Hey, if we close our round earlier than you guys, maybe we’ll have enough days off that we can come see you. We’ll be coming to New York anyway because the Rangers are looking great.”

Logan smiled. “Merde. Don’t even bring it up yet.”

“Yeah,” Finn rubbed his eyes. “I can’t imagine one of us, like, knocking out the other—”

“Lo’s right.” Leo patted Finn’s cheek. “Yeah, not yet.”

“We should get some sleep,” Logan said. “Even though I love talking to you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Finn said. “We always start out saying we just want to say goodnight and then talk for four hours.”

Leo laughed. “We should expect this by now.”

“Ouais,” Logan said, and Leo watched his eyes look between them. “I miss you.”

“Miss you, too,” Leo said. “But soon, yeah?” But a little curl of dread pushed up through him at the thought of facing the Rangers in the Conference Semi-Finals. He’d honestly rather play the Snakes, who seemed to be pulling through the first round as easily as the Lions.

“Soon,” Logan said, and Leo swore he saw the same thoughts flicker through his face, too.

“Jack doesn’t know what’s coming for him!” Logan called at the last moment, and flashed them a big grin before ending the call right as Leo laughed.

Remus should have been expecting it.

The Knights were losing the series two-nothing, and also losing this game 4-1. Remus was caught up in the sheer, impossible delight of it all. The entire league was watching with awed, slightly confused expressions. Twitter was all question marks and amazement because the Lions were good, but they weren’t that good. The beginning of their season had been shit. The Knights had had injuries but they weren’t bad. This streak felt unbalanced and odd.

And the Knights weren’t happy to be losing like this. Who would be?

So Remus really, really should have seen it coming. The desperation, and the dirt.

Sirius got the first of it. A high, fast hit on the blue line from Carrier. Sirius, usually so aware, had been looking from the pass from James. Remus watched it in slow motion, and yet somehow didn’t even have time to shout.

The crowd cheered with the hit, but the entire Lions bench stood up.

Oh, wow, what a hit by Will Carrier on the Lions Captain.

Little high, if I do say so myself. I’d say that’s a penalty for sure, Lee.

We were talking earlier, weren’t we, Lee, about how we were surprised Vegas wasn’t being very aggressive. What do we say now, eh?

Its frustration, I’m sure. It can’t feel good to be losing this totally. Whether its injury issues or puck luck or simply Gryffindor’s domination, it can’t feel good at all.

Remus held his breath, watched Sirius on his knees checking his mouth for blood. James was on Carrier, giving him a shove and gesturing to the ref. The ref nodded, looking like he was telling James to calm down, and blew his whistle, pointing a scowling Carrier to the penalty box.

Sirius went up to a knee, and Remus watched him take a breath. Fix his helmet. Check his mouth again, but his glove came away clean. He worked his jaw a little, rolled one of his shoulders. He looked like he was about to rise fully, when a gray and gold uniform skated right in front of him and offered him a gloved hand.

It was Théo Angevine.

“Huh,” Jackson said from beside him. “They know each other?”

Remus watched as Sirius took the hand and rose. He wasn’t much taller than Théo, and the two of them looked at each other for a moment. Remus didn’t think he saw either of them say anything, though, and after a second, Théo skated towards his own bench.

“Re?” Jackson asked.

“Uh, I don’t know,” Remus said vaguely.

Huh. Some nice sportsmanship there, Dean. Wouldn’t have seen that coming.

Yeah. Théo Angevine, with a helping hand up for the Captain. Théo’s scored two of the Knights’ goals in this series. I guess we’ll see now if a hit like that does anything for Vegas’ momentum.

It didn’t.

The locker room was breathless and happy. 5-2.

“Let’s pull this off in four, boys,” Coach said, standing in front of them. He folded his glasses away and stuck them into his shirt pocket. “Cap, keep that pressure on. Harzy, good job with that pass in the second, Kuns, drawing the penalties. Keep it up.”

There was a chorus of thumps delivered to stalls and shouts, and Remus just smiled as he bent to tug at his skate laces.

“Remus?”

He looked up. “Oh, hey, Layla.”

Layla smiled. “Congrats. Uh—Could I see you for a second?” She pointed behind her, towards the visitor’s PT room.

“Uh, sure.” Remus thought about taking his skates off, but stood instead. “I’ll follow you.”

“You all right?” Remus asked as he closed the door to the office. “I only mean—I mean, I’m fine, didn’t get one of those hits, so…”

“Did you expect to?” Layla asked. She had her back to him briefly as she set her bench bag down, but when she turned to him, her brown eyes held that same look he had seen before. Watchful.

Remus blinked. “What?”

“Did you expect to be a target tonight?” Layla asked. “From…From Grayback?”

Remus just stared at her. He felt the back of his neck heating up and suddenly wished they weren’t in a small office.

Layla took a breath, moving her braids to the back of her neck. “Would you mind if I ask you something, and…and when I do, you can feel free to tell me to mind my own business? I’m just…I’m worried. And no one deserves to be alone in anything.”

“Um.” Remus glanced back at the door. “Okay…”

She nodded towards Remus’ shoulder. “How did you hurt your shoulder?”

Remus didn’t move. “I didn’t.”

He wasn’t even sure why he said that, only that the deflection had risen up in him instantly and of its own will.

“I don’t mean tonight.”

Remus wasn’t proud of it, exactly, but he was glad he hadn’t taken off his skates. It was good, just then, to feel taller than he really was.

“I mean your last game,” Layla said. “I mean your scar.”

Remus was shaking his head before he even meant to. “Layla. I’m okay. I know what you’re thinking—”

She took a step forward. “It isn’t an impact injury.”

For some reason, what he thought of right then was the Showtime film crew. It’s ridiculous name. The Road to The Stanley Cup.

So, Remus, excited to play against your old college buddy?

Remus sighed and sat down in one of the chairs. The added height from his skates made him feel more curled up like this, caved in on himself.

“No,” Remus said softly. “It isn’t.”

He heard Layla’s short intake of breath. She had her arms crossed over her chest. Her eyes were gentle and worried.

Remus drew in a breath. It stirred it all up. The questions. Even the ice.

“I could have tried harder, that’s true,” Remus said, and then realized she hadn’t asked anything.

“What do you mean?”

He let out a humorless laugh. To talk about it when it first happened. He could have told his own mother at least, when he had woken up in the hospital. He’d thought about it a thousand times since then. It’s not the hit, he cornered me and—and—

Instead, it had taken him months, and a hundred nights of sobs muffled by his pillow. When he had finally whispered it to his mom, in the complete dark, tucked into her side in his bed like he was Julian’s age rather than his own, he had felt so good. But not quite good enough.

“The road to the Stanley Cup,” Remus sighed. He was suddenly bone tired. “Some are rougher than others.”

“So, it was him. Cole was telling the truth.”

Remus snapped his head. “What?”

“Grayback.”

“What the hell does Cole know?”

Layla cursed, rubbing at one of her eyes. “A lunch? God, Remus I promise we weren’t—he just said—he asked me, because some of the guys…well, they do protect you.”

Remus had a flash of that summer, discussing predictions, sitting at a sunny table eating.

“Remus,” Layla sat beside him. “I promise, I would never discuss—”

Remus just shook his head. “I know.” He sighed, rubbing a hand through his sweaty hair. “Yeah, there was a moment this summer. I know. Smart kid.”

Remus didn’t know why, but he smiled.

Layla frowned at him. “Remus…”

“I’m sorry,” Remus said, then laughed a little, emotion lodged in his throat. It felt like too much. “I don’t know why I’m laughing. Oh my God, sorry, it’s not funny.” He rubbed at his eyes. “Jesus, it’s not funny.”

“What happened?” Layla asked softly.

“Layla,” Remus said weakly. “It was a long time ago.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Layla said. “It was something off ice. Am I right?"

Remus sighed. Are you excited to play with your old college buddy?

“I was going number one,” Remus said. “And he wanted that instead.”

Layla’s eyes went sad. Horrified. “So he…”

“I could have tried harder to stand up to him,” Remus said. “That’s what I meant.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I…” Remus laughed again. “Sorry, I really don’t know why I’m laughing. I suppose it’s just…frustrating. He told me he knew about me.” When Layla’s eyes widened he put a hand on her knee. “He didn’t know anything. He couldn’t have, but…I was scared, I wanted to succeed. What I realize now is that I didn’t have a secret.”

“That’s…” She looked horrified as they went to where she had seen his scar before. “Disgusting. He needs to answer for what he did.”

“No. No, Layla. He doesn’t.”

“But what he did—”

“Did what? He hurt me, yes, but what else? No, I’m not belittling what happened to me, but did he ruin my life? No. I chose another path, a path that I loved. That you love. Because of it I found the man that I love. The man I’m going to marry.”

“But…but you deserve…”

Remus just smiled. “In any other universe, Sirius and I probably would have been rivals. Or if not rivals, just not have known each other. I have what I deserve. He has nothing but a bad reputation. That’s how I’m trying to learn how to think about it.”

Remus was pleased to find that, as he said the words, he found them to be true. Something eased, just a little more, inside. He would always have to live with the nagging feeling that he hadn’t thought it through. It had never occurred to him that one day he’d be ready to tell his truth. That regret was easier to breathe through than it had once been. Peace was slow in the making.

Layla straightened, watching him carefully. “Are you angry I asked?”

Remus shrugged. “Not…exactly. I have been trying to shut the door on this thing for a while, but…” He thought of Sirius. “Maybe that’s not the kind of thing you do to your past.”

Layla smiled. “Maybe not. Thank you for telling me anyway. I just…I only asked because I worried you were just…sitting with it. But the boys know?”

“Most of them,” Remus said. “And if it makes you feel better, I like that you know, too.”

“Your doctors didn’t? How could they not?”

Remus shrugged. “They had a patient they needed to stitch back together. I’m sure they weren’t thinking about the politics of it.” Remus rolled his eyes. “Politics. You know what I mean.”

“I do.” Layla sighed, but nodded. “All right. Okay. You know you best. Isn’t that the PT rule?”

“Most of the time.” Remus smiled. “But you still gotta be able to know when they’re lying and it’s hurting. Am I lying?”

Layla smiled back and shook her head. “Maybe you were at one point. But, no, not right now.”

“He helped me up.”

With the bathroom door open in their hotel room, Remus could see Sirius laying on the bed in the mirror.

Remus folded the wet washcloth and turned off the tap, then the bathroom light. “Théo?”

“Hm,” Sirius nodded. He opened his arm when Remus kneeled on the bed and Remus tucked himself against his side.

Sirius kept his gray eyes on the ceiling. Searching. Thinking. “It surprised me.”

“I saw,” Remus said. “Everyone saw. Did he say anything?”

Sirius shook his head. “Non. Just…looked at me for a second.”

“Maybe that means you don’t have to be strangers after all,” Remus said, softening it with a kiss to his jaw.

“Maybe,” Sirius said softly. “I’m not sure. We’ll see.”

“We will,” Remus said. He propped himself up on an elbow. “But I don’t think that last game is something to be worrying about and thinking over. You were outstanding.”

Sirius smiled. “I’ll never get tired of seeing you on the ice.” He leaned up towards Remus, pushing gently until Remus was on his back. “Switching places with you over the boards.”

“I love it, too,” Remus said, settling his hands on Sirius’ hips. “Showtime get you after the game?”

“Ouais.” Sirius sighed. “Asked me if I thought we could take it in four.”

Remus snorted. “I feel like I should be happy they’re here, like it’s a privilege, but I just don’t.”

“Yeah, I’m sure they just love asking you about your old college buddy.” Sirius wrinkled his nose. “I know they don’t know what they’re saying, but it makes me want to throw their cameras.”

Remus smiled, but it felt tighter. “Hit one of them with their microphones.”

Sirius laughed, messing with one of the ties on Remus’ sweatshirt. “Ouais.”

Remus took a breath. “Layla figured it out.”

Sirius’ eyes didn’t move from the ties. He pulled at the neck of his sweatshirt a little and bent down to kiss the dip between Remus’ collarbones, then over his adam’s apple. “Hm?”

“Cole, too. About Grayback.”

Sirius pulled back quickly at that, looking down at Remus with alarm. “What?”

“It’s okay,” Remus said quickly. “Cole knew because of the way you guys act about him, and Layla noticed that my scar wasn’t what I said it was.”

Sirius took a moment with that, eyes going somewhere over Remus’ head, searching, before he nodded.

“Why did she ask you about it?” he finally asked.

“She thought I was just sitting on it,” Remus said. “And I guess I am, kind of, but she thought I was doing it alone.”

“You’re not alone,” Sirius said, a fierceness creeping in.

Remus smiled, reaching up to curl a strand of Sirius’ hair around his finger. “Could say the same thing to you.”

Sirius rolled his eyes, then grumbled when Remus flicked his temple for it.

“This hotel has a pool,” Sirius said pointedly.

Remus paused, then laughed hard. “Is that your out for these kinds of conversations?”

Sirius just grinned and leaned down. “That’s my in.” He pressed a quick kiss to Remus’ lips before pushing himself up. “Come on, allez.”

The pool was dim, with soft, warm lights along the edges of the room and below the water, making the blue tiles shimmer. They were alone as they dropped their towels on two of the lounge chairs.

“Coach would kill us if he knew we weren’t sleeping right now,” Remus said, dipping a foot in. “Oh, it’s warm.”

“Beats an ice bath?” Sirius asked.

Remus sat down on the edge before lowering himself in. “Oh God, it’s heaven.” He dunked his head under and let himself luxuriate in the world going silent for a moment. He pushed his hands upwards gently to keep himself down and let the water ease some of the soreness from his muscles before coming up to float on his back. “Get in here,” he said in Sirius’ direction, before he felt two hands on his hips and opened his eyes to see Sirius wet up to the chest and right in front of him. “Oh. Hi.”

Sirius just pulled him in until Remus’ legs were around his waist, lighter in the water. “Hi.”

Remus pushed his wet hands through Sirius’ hair. “You have to dunk.”

Sirius wrinkled his nose. “Then I’ll sleep with it wet. I already took a sho—”

But Remus used his position to push down on Sirius’ shoulders and bring them under together, laughing, maybe getting some bubbles up his nose, but it was worth it for the wet puppy look of Sirius, his dark hair plastered against his forehead and in his eyes.

“Thank you for that,” Sirius coughed a little.

“You wanted to come to the pool,” Remus said, tightening his legs around Sirius’ waist. He pushed Sirius’ hair out of his eyes so he wouldn’t let go of Remus’ waist, and watched as the gray of his irises took on the blue-yellow of the water and lights. “Now the pool has come to you.”

“Ouais, it has.” Sirius smiled, real and easy.

Remus just smiled and let the water settle itself around them. Sirius had one hand supporting him, the other beginning to trace up and down Remus’ spine. He walked them a little deeper in, until they were up to their shoulders. When Sirius leaned in to press a kiss to Remus’ scar, just above the waterline, Remus sent him a soft, half smile and kissed one of the scars on his cheeks that, to be honest, Remus wasn’t sure had come from hockey at all. When he pulled back again, Sirius had a complicated expression on his face.

“What?” Remus asked softly, arms draped loosely around Sirius’ neck. “What’s that look for, tell me.”

Sirius swallowed, his eyes darting over Remus’ face. Remus watched drops of water trail over his skin and cling to his eyelashes. He waited until Sirius’ eyes found his again.

“I want to take your name,” Sirius said.

The only sound for a long moment was the water lapping at the sides of the pool. A phone ringing far off. There was a drop of water trailing down Sirius’ cheek, and for a moment Remus thought it was a tear. He caught it with his thumb anyway.

“What?” he whispered, biting his lip against a smile. “You do?”

Sirius nodded. His hands had stilled against Remus’ back, only holding him now. He looked nervous, lips pressed together and biting at the inside of his cheek. God, Remus hardly knew what to say.

“Gonna cause a lot of people to have to buy new sweaters,” was the first thing that came to mind.

It had the intended effect. Sirius smiled, gave a half-hearted shrug, but he still looked like there was something else, something more, that was tugging at him.

“Baby,” Remus said gently. “If this is about—what I said the other day. And your family…you own your name, Sirius. You do.”

Sirius looked away, around at the dim blue glow. “It’s not—well, it is. But it’s not. It’s just—I want to be in your family. I love them, I love your mom and dad, I love Jules so much. I want to be in a good family. I don’t want anything to do with mine. Merde, not Reg, I don’t mean Reg, just…them.”

Them. His parents.

Remus frowned. He touched Sirius’ cheek, brought their eyes back together. “The family you have around you has had nothing to do with names for a long time now. Nothing to do with blood.”

“I know,” Sirius said. “I know, but…” They were far away from anything, floating quietly, in the middle of the pool. Remus knew Sirius’ feet were touching the ground but it felt like neither of them had to. “I still want it.”

Remus brought his hands to Sirius’ neck, steadying them in the blue. Sirius leaned forward briefly and pressed a gentle kiss to Remus’ mouth.

“You want my name?” Remus whispered. The words were pinging around his mind. Sirius Lupin. It kind of made Remus want to cry. They hadn’t talked about this yet. Not really. Remus Black had crossed his mind, but it felt like something he would have scribbled in a school notebook. This all felt so much realer than names, the ties so much deeper. But if it felt real to Sirius, then…

“Yeah,” Sirius said firmly. “I do.” Then, he smiled, secret, just between them. “Mon vœu.”

Remus bit his lip, unable to help the slightly giddy laugh that escaped him. He brushed a thumb over Sirius’ bottom lip. “Well. Okay, then.”

Sirius smiled. “Merci.”

“But, really, in all truth, a lot of people are gonna have to buy new jerseys.”

Sirius tilted his head back, laughing. “Too bad.”

Remus drank in his smile. Mon vœu. “S. Lupin doesn’t exactly have the same punch.”

“That sounds like someone else’s problem,” Sirius said.

Remus laughed. “Fine, fine. God, I love you, you know that?”

“I think I might,” Sirius said.

He was leaning in for a kiss when a voice echoed over the pool.

“Oh, come on.”

They jolted, looking up to see Finn and Leo standing there holding towels and wearing swim suits.

“This room’s taken, boys,” Remus called back, tightening his arms around Sirius’ neck.

“Oh, no, no, no,” Finn tossed his towel onto a chair, waving a finger. “Nope.” Leo made a startled sound when Finn promptly picked him up around the waist, half over his shoulder, before running and jumping into the pool. The splash sent the water in a wave up to their necks. Remus could feel Sirius laughing against him when Finn and Leo both came up spluttering. Finn flicked his soaked hair out of his eyes. “I just claimed it.” He sent a splash in their direction.

“Wow,” Leo said, blinking chlorine out of his eyes. “So you can throw me over your shoulder. Okay.”

“How long you been here for?” Finn said. “Times up! Give me and my lover boy the pool.”

“Non, you can have that side over there,” Sirius said, and then the door opened again.

“Oh, hey, big party!” Evgeni’s voice boomed, and he, Jackson, and Kasey appeared in the doorway. “Not text? Mean.”

“Fuck,” Finn moaned, and Leo just laughed.

“Sorry, baby,” Leo said. “Looks like we’re gonna have to make new plans. But hey,” Leo nodded to Sirius and Remus and then wrapped his long legs around Finn’s waist from behind. “They seem to have some good ideas.”

The door opened again, and James’ face lit up when he saw them.

“Team swim! Yes!” James chanted, fists raised in the air. Pascal, rubbing his eyes, followed him in, then followed by Kota, then Olli, then Cole, then what looked like most of the entire team.

“I am too old for this,” Pascal sighed.

“Nah,” Kasey said, and gave Pascal a firm tap on the butt. “Get in that water, old man.”

“Wow,” Remus said. “At least we got a head start.”

Sirius just laughed as the team’s voices echoed warmly all around them.

“Hey, Le, you know the song Nightswimming?”

“Twenty bucks, Nado, bigger splash than you!”

“Do you think they would room service in here? Fucking starving, man…”

Sirius and Remus watched the pool fill up around them, water choppy with laughter and movement.

“See?” Remus whispered. “Family.”

Sirius blinked fast a few times, and Remus was more sure this time that it wasn’t just pool water clinging to his lashes. “Ouais. I see.”

Logan was exhausted, frustrated, but at least Luke had ordered burgers and fries and Percy was making them double over with laughter. They were all at Luke’s apartment trying to wind down enough to not be painfully aware that they had a lose-all game tomorrow. The Bruins were one game away from knocking them out. They couldn’t lose.

They had a video game paused on the TV, and ginger beers all around—they were too tired for anything more. Logan didn’t want any extra haziness. They could have been watching the Gryffindor-Vegas game, but Logan figured the others knew him well enough by now to know that it’d just be stressful for him. He appreciated that no one had suggested it.

Percy and Will were arguing over some play from two games ago, but smiling while they did it. Logan didn’t think he’d ever seen those two fight. Luke and Saint were listening, Saint occasionally throwing in a few words with the purpose of stoking one side of the fire, or the other. His feet were in Luke’s lap, and when Luke squeezed his ankle with a teasing look of warning, trying to get him to stop keeping Will and Percy going, Saint just reached up with a toe and poked him in the chin. It drew one of Luke’s realer smiles out, and when he caught Logan watching, the smile stayed in place.

A few months ago, Logan never would have been able to dream of this level of happiness. He missed his boys. God, he missed them. It was a bruise that pricked and darkened every time he thought about it. But it was only a bruise. Not a break. It might not fade, but it wouldn’t leave a scar on him, either.

Logan just smiled, giving Percy a scuff on the back of his head on the way to the kitchen. He liked Luke’s apartment. It was simple, pretty sparse but still homey. In the bathroom, there had been two toothbrushes. Logan wondered if one of them was Saint’s, and if it was there for the occasional night, or for the regular ones. He reached into the fridge and grabbed another ginger beer. He was contemplating one of the fruit popsicles Luke had said were up for grabs in the freezer when Luke called out to him from the living room.

“Hey, Tremz!”

“Ouais?” Logan called back. He pushed the wooden stick of a strawberry one through the rapper and pulled it out. It was sweet and tangy, better than the spicy ginger beer.

“Check your phone! Your boys just took Vegas out of the playoffs in four.”

Remus had dreamed of this so many times. The Cup, yes. The history making, yes.

But more than that: the celebratory ice pile.

Sirius had him crushed against his chest, and everyone was jumping around him so that he had to jump, too. Someone was shouting right in his ear, but he didn’t care. He threw his head back and shouted right along. The Vegas crowd was dejected around them, but enough Gryffindor fans had made the trip to be jumping and victorious right there with them.

It might’ve be only the first round, but this was farther than Remus had thought he would ever skate.

“Re,” Sirius shouted, and then pulled him into a jostling, sloppy kiss. Remus didn’t care if any cameras were there. He wanted to be able to watch the way Sirius smiled into it when he got home.

The next moment, he was being pulled away, into another set of arms.

“Hey, hey!” Thomas was grinning hard. He pressed a kiss to Remus’ cheek before looking him in the eye and pounding a palm against his chest. “Here’s to second times, Lupin.”

Remus grinned and pulled Thomas down for a tight hug. “Second times. Second chances.”

#vaincre lumosinlove #wolfstar #coops #o'knutzy #cw: mention of abuse #cw: mention of injury

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