i get myself twisted in threads
Chapter 15: i tell you that i think i'm falling
Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 16
“Will is staying the night. Jonathan should also stay the night.” Hopper is going to kill him. He’s dead.
“You’re not dating Will, El.” Steve tries to explain. She just thinks that since she’s got someone staying over, he should also have someone staying over.
“El, I have work in the morning.” Jonathan saves him. “I’d have to get up, like, super early and go home and change, so it doesn’t make sense for me to stay the night. Besides, I’m sure you don’t want me interrupting your reading time.”
Steve’s not sure he wants reading time tonight, honestly. Nancy had read them a few chapters of her old copy of Anne of Green Gables—one time, when she’d been sick, Steve had come over and tried to read some of it to her. Since then, they’d taken turns with it, at least until they broke up.
That had been good, but their surprise—it wasn’t the cookies, which were good, and would have been just fine as his surprise.
No, what they gave him, sitting in the car right before they left the park to drop Nancy off for her church dinner, is something he never would have expected them to even know he liked.
Carol’s the only person who's ever known about this. It’s something they shared when before Tommy, and then after Tommy, usually when Tommy was being a dick.
He doesn’t even know how they got some of these. Steve doesn’t want to know how long it took them to collect them all, and then organize them like this for him.
They’d had to make this all by hand. For him, at such short notice.
Steve can’t even figure out how they made the cover so thick, it’s almost like a published cookbook.
Nancy and Jonathan alternated recipes, and there’s a Polaroid of the finished product—he’s pretty sure some of the dishes are Mrs. Henderson’s—in the corner of the final page of each one.
He doesn’t recognize the cursive on the front: Knead for Sweets.
It’s so cheesy, and it’s so nice and well-thought out. He wants to spend the next month going through each recipe, making them until he can get them perfect.
He wants to know how in the world Nancy and Jonathan knew that while he likes cooking just fine, he loves baking. He can’t bake right now—Hopper and El won’t let him, and he could work with the space limitations but he might run out of pots and pans.
He wants to spend the night flipping through the recipes, seeing how many they’d been able to collect.
He’s glad they waited until they got to the car to give it to him; as soon as he realized what they’d done, he’d almost started crying.
It’s just so much effort, and time, to get the whole thing together. To get people to agree to give up family recipes, and then to write them out all, and take pictures of each dish.
“Yes, but you can be part of the reading, too.” El says, staring Jonathan down. “And you can get up early. You can just share the bed with Steve, like Will is sharing mine.”
“El, what are Hopper’s rules about you and Mike?” Jonathan asks.
“We have to leave the door open three inches. He cannot stay the night in my room, even though Will can.”
“What do you think the rules are for me, Nancy, and Steve, since we’re dating?”
“You are older.”
“That doesn’t mean the rules don’t apply. It’s true that some rules don’t apply because we’re older, but those ones do. It’s okay, El, really.”
“Fine.” El glares at Jonathan the whole time he’s leaving, not even looking away like Will does when he kisses Steve goodbye.
“El, that wasn’t very nice.”
“Well, he should want to stay with you! He likes you and he should want to stay here, no matter what Hop says.”
“El, just because he left doesn’t mean he didn’t want to stay.” Will tells her. “Besides, wouldn’t the bed be crowded with four of us? We’ve still got to read our book.”
“It would, but that is okay. We will be fine.”
“Would Steve be fine? He’s still healing.”
“Oh.” El looks at him again. “I am sorry, Steve. But he made you happy today, and I wanted him to stay and make you happy again.”
She’s not wrong about that, but she’s also not supposed to know that.
“El, what did we say about watching me?”
“You did not make any rules for weekends.”
“We’ll do that tomorrow, then. It’s bedtime.”
“It’s like, nine!” Will’s face screws up in the same way Jonathan’s does when he’s protesting. “That’s too early, we’re not little kids!”
“You’re right. You’re babies.”
“Steve!”
But El’s already headed to her room to change, so Will won’t have any ground to stand on much longer.
“Go get ready for bed, kiddo.”
“I’m not a baby!”
“A tall toddler, then.”
“Steeeeve!” It’s a tone he’s much more used to hearing from Dustin, but god it is fun to mess with these kids a little. He can’t be the nice babysitter all the time, he has to keep them on their toes, or they’ll start to think they can boss him around and get whatever they want.
(They can, but he can’t let them know that. They have to figure it out for themselves.)
Steve puts Knead for Sweets away before the kids come in to read. He’s not hiding it, not really, he just wants to keep it nice.
And if he wants to keep the wonder of the whole thing to himself for a while, then that’s for him to know.
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Jonathan can’t pretend he hasn’t noticed that the kids have picked up on the way he, Nancy, and Steve have been acting around each other. Will and El are the only ones they’ve actually told, but there are going to be questions from the others soon enough.
“Hello, Jonathan.” He won’t lie and say it doesn’t make him jump. That’s been one of El’s favorite things lately. Mostly with him and Nancy.
Okay, it’s only with him and Nancy.
“What’s up, El?”
“When are you going to take Steve somewhere again?”
Well, they’re going to a drive-in movie tonight, because Jonathan knows that Steve is still anxious about being seen around town.
“Tonight, why?” She stares at him for a minute.
“If you make him sad again, you can’t take him places anymore.”
“Make him sad? What do you mean?” Steve hadn’t seemed sad at all after their first date; sure, he’d cried a little when they gave him the cookbook, but he’d said he was happy with it.
“He was upset, after you left.”
“El, what are you telling Jonathan?”
“He is not allowed to make you sad.” El doesn’t look at Steve. He’s walking a little more now, opting only to use his crutches on bad days.
“He didn’t make me sad, El. The recipe book he and Nancy made for me was a really nice and thoughtful thing to do, and it made me happy.”
“But then he left.”
“Yes, he did, but not because he wanted to leave. I was a little sad about that, maybe, but he can’t not go to work.”
“You don’t go to work.”
“I can barely walk, El, of course I don’t go to work.”
And Steve has never needed a job in the way Jonathan has, but that’s not something they need to explain to El right now.
“Where are you going?”
“El, no spying on us.” Steve says. “I know you like to check in, but not tonight, okay? Nancy, Jonathan, and I are trying to have some alone time.”
“Ew.” She crinkles up her nose. “Max says alone time is code for ‘things you don’t want kids to know about.’”
“Not always, but if it makes you stop checking in, then sure.” Steve finally gets over to Jonathan. “What time are we picking Nance up?”
“We’ve got about an hour.”
“So we could surprise her with slushies?”
“Yeah, if you want.”
“Nice.” Kissing Steve isn’t like kissing Nancy, not that he’d expected it to be, but it’s still good. Between the two of them, Jonathan thinks he can learn about the type of kisses that bring people to write so many poems about romantic love.
Still, it doesn’t mean he’s about to start writing poems or anything. He’ll stick with his camera and the darkroom.
He’s got some pictures to show Steve and Nancy today, too. He’d gotten these done as fast as he could, but it’d still taken longer than he would have liked. And he’s still got more to do.
It’s too bad that it’s going to be too dark for pictures at the drive-in. Otherwise, Jonathan could probably get a few good ones.
“Do you know if El has said anything to other kids?”
“About us dating? I don’t think so, but I haven’t asked. Pretty sure Mike would have already thrown a fit about it, he hated me for a while. Pretty sure it’s because he thought I was taking Nancy away from him. What was she saying to you, anyway?”
“I’m pretty sure she was trying to give me a shovel talk, actually.”
“She’s been like that lately.”
“Well, aren’t you and Hopper making plans to move you back to your house?”
“More like fighting over it. I don’t think Hopper wants me going back at all, especially not when I’m on crutches. I’d be fine now, honestly. I can get around well enough and I’ve handled crutches in my house before.”
“What, you don’t want to spend more time with El? What about your story time?”
“I’ll miss it, but I don’t want to keep taking up Hopper’s bed when I really don’t need it. He won’t let me sleep on the couch, though.”
“Mom wouldn’t mind if you spent the night at ours.” Jonathan offers. “And Will won’t tattle, either.”
“I know he won’t.” Steve puts his hand on his knee for a second. “I don’t know. I just… it feels unfair that I get to spend the night with you and Nance doesn’t, you know?”
“She’s not gonna mind, Steve. It’ll happen.” And it’s not like Nancy and Jonathan haven’t spent time alone together since they all started dating, though it’s much easier for them than it is for Jonathan and Steve. “We could ask if it would make you feel better.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Steve’s hand doesn’t move until they stop for slushies, but he doesn’t say anything else, and Jonathan’s left to wonder if maybe Steve’s been feeling left out, or jealous, and what he and Nancy can do to fix that.
“What type of slushie do you want?” He asks, instead of what he wants to say. Jonathan knows Nancy’s—cherry, which always tastes ridiculously sweet to him—and he hasn’t decided what he’s going to get himself yet.
(Blue raspberry. It’s always blue raspberry, even though he pretends he hates it in front of Will.)
“I’ll do cherry cola, I can come in with you, though. And Nance always gets cherry, which is just weird, like who gets just plain cherry? And you’ll probably get blue raspberry or something, which doesn’t even exist. It’s Will’s favorite, though.”
“How did you know that?”
“I take the kids to get slushies sometimes.”
“No, I know that, but how did you know I like blue raspberry?” Will’s old enough now that he’s in on the joke, so that could be it, but Jonathan doesn’t know why Will would be telling Steve about what types of slushies Jonathan likes.
“Wait, did you ask Will? Steve, have you been asking Will what my favorite things are?” Jonathan thinks back to all the times when seemingly random candy bars would show up in his locker or bag, and how Nancy always said it wasn’t her, but it was always on shitty days, so he figured she’d just been hiding it.
“...Maybe.” Steve’s got his good leg pulled up to his face. “I didn’t know how else to talk to you, sometimes. Most of the time, I didn’t have to ask, he’d just say something about it while we were getting other stuff.”
“But you didn’t have to remember it, Steve. You definitely didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to, though.”
“We’re telling Nancy about this.”
“No! No, don’t, she’ll never let me live it down.” Steve’s redder than Jonathan’s ever seen him—he was kind of starting to think that the guy just didn’t blush.
“No, I’m telling her. And I think it’s…” Cute? Sweet? What word should he use here? “Nice, that you remembered all that after Will mentioned it.”
“Can we just go get the slushies now?”
“Yeah.” Somehow, it’s not busy—even on cold days, there’s usually high schoolers here getting slushies as an excuse to meet up with their friends.
When Jonathan sees Hagan in the corner, though, it makes more sense.
“Do I have to talk to him?” Steve’s using his crutches while they’re in the store; it’s not icy on the sidewalks right now, but it’s still wet, so it’s a risk they’re not taking.
“No, I can scare him off.”
“You couldn’t scare off a cat, Byers.” Steve snorts. “But you’ll have your hands full, I can’t really help with the slushies.”
“Just ignore him?”
“I can try, if he even comes over.”
Jonathan doesn’t know what Hagan’s deal is these days—he’s come over a few times, to ask what’s up with Steve, but it’s not like he’s been checking every week, or even every month. From what his mom says, Carol has asked her about Steve every time she comes in, which is a lot more than Hagan has done.
“I’ll take one of those.” Hagan doesn’t just grab it off of the counter, or out of Jonathan’s hand, which is really for the best. “Since Steve can’t, and all.” Steve had moved over to the counter to pay, and probably had gotten them candy, too, since Jonathan was filling the slushies and couldn’t protest.
“Thanks.” Jonathan just hopes that he doesn’t ask Steve anything. Steve knows the basics of what they’ve told everyone, but they haven’t had time (or wanted to, really) to go over everything they’ve said.
“He’s doing better, then? Since he’s out with you?”
“I mean, yeah.”
“I don’t know if he’d want to talk to me.”
Then why did you come over? Jonathan wants to snap, but he doesn’t want to get into a fight with Tommy Hagan today. He doesn’t want to get into any fights today.
“Is he… is he okay, at least? Is he doing okay?”
“Yeah, he has been.” He’d be shocked if Steve wasn’t having nightmares, but it’s not something he’s brought up with Jonathan or Nancy.
“Jon, you ready?” Steve glances their way, not bothering to look at Hagan.
Jonathan gets a little rush of vindication from that. The guy who has been Steve’s best friend for years, and Steve’s looking at Jonathan instead.
“Yeah.”
“Steve—” Hagan starts. “Can we talk?”
“About what?”
“You went missing again, that’s kind of a big deal.”
“So, you want the gossip. No, then.”
“No, Steve! Are you okay? Have you seen anyone? Do you need somewhere to stay? My mom still adores you, you know.” Hagan only gets quieter with each sentence, matching Steve’s pace as he leads them to the car.
“I’m good, Tommy.” Steve pauses to open the door and stash his crutches, sitting down before he speaks again. “Tell your mom I say hi.”
“That’s it?” Hagan hands over the slushie he’s holding; it’s Nancy’s, not that he needs to know that. “That’s all you have to say to me?”
“What else do you want, dude? You were pretty clear that we weren’t friends anymore. Made it real easy for Hargrove to come after me, from what I remember.”
“I shouldn’t have told him that shit, man, come on—”
“No. You shouldn’t have. And as much as I’m sure you regret it now, you haven’t even tried to apologize for that. If you want a lesson on apologizing, go talk to Carol. I’m sure she’ll help you.” Steve shuts the door in Hagan’s face, and Jonathan kind of wants to cheer.
That’s the Steve he remembers from before the Upside Down, the guy who could tear a person apart with his words. He hadn’t done it often, but damn, is it hot to watch when it’s not being used against him.
Even this much, much milder version of it. The one time Jonathan had seen him do it to someone else, he’d torn into the guy’s insecurities like it was nothing in the middle of the hallway.
He’d been a transfer student from the next town over, and he’d had rumors already. He’d gotten caught once trapping freshmen in the bathroom with him, and Steve had apparently decided that was enough.
Jonathan doesn’t know what happened to him after that.
“Was that too much?” Steve asks, as they leave. “Like, he’s still watching us as we leave.”
“Steve, I don’t know what he told Hargrove, but I’m betting what you said wasn’t enough.”
“I used to be a lot meaner, with a lot less guilt about it.”
“Well, you did grow up with Hagan. And I don’t think you were ever that mean, actually.”
“Jonathan, I smashed your camera. I let Tommy and Carol say and do shit they shouldn’t have gotten away with. Even if I wasn’t doing it myself, I should have stopped them.”
“And you apologized for that, or tried to, like immediately. And you were trying to protect Nancy, it’s not like you broke it because I was taking pictures of trees. That’d be different.” Does Steve still feel bad about that? Jonathan figured they’d been done with that a long time ago. “And come on, Hagan turned on you enough that he was telling Hargrove your secrets, what would have happened if you had stopped them?”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to think about him anymore, though. If I do, it’ll just ruin the whole night.”
“Then we won’t. We can tease Nancy about her terrible choice in slushie flavors, and I can tell her all about how you memorized my favorite candies already.”
“No! You said you wouldn’t!”
“I never said that, you assumed I agreed.” Jonathan winks at him as he pulls into Nancy’s driveway. He doesn’t get a chance to even open his door before Nancy’s halfway to the car.
“Let’s go before my mom decides to chase me. She’s not very happy about the cookies last weekend.”
“Just the cookies, huh?”
“Don’t you start, Steve.” She relaxes a little once she’s in the car, though. “I get the backseat all to myself?”
“Yeah, it’s cause I didn’t want to be near your disgusting all-cherry slushie.” Steve tells her.
“And you got trail mix cause you just love raisins, right?” Jonathan can tell from her tone that Nancy thinks she’s won. She’s probably right, because he’s about to give her a lot more ammo.
“What else is in that bag, Nance?”
“Oh, you let Jonathan pick out his favorites, too!”
“No, Steve got all the snacks while I was filling the slushies. And I’ve never told him any of my favorites.”
“Steve! How long have you been paying that much attention to Jonathan, hmm?” Nancy leans forward between their seats.
Jonathan doesn’t poke fun at them at the same rate they do each other, or even him, but he has to admit that the car ride is a lot more fun this way.
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Get to Know Me and My Obsession with KISS 🎸
1. Who is your favorite member?
Eric Singer
2. Who is your least favorite member?
Vinnie Vincent
3. Best album?
Destroyer
4. Worst album?
Animalize
5. Favorite song?
There are too many good ones
6. Say one nice thing about each member.
Gene- Super charming
Paul- Super charming
Peter- Super Sweet
Ace- Super Sweet
Eric C- Super funny
Eric S- Super nice
Bruce- Super funny
Tommy- Hot
Mark St. John- Super nice
Vinnie- Super nice
7. What do you dislike about each member?
Gene- Egotistical
Paul- Egotistical
Peter- Hateful
Ace- Spiteful
Eric C- Negative
Eric S- Negative
Bruce- Truthful
Tommy- Awkward
Mark St. John- Dumb
Vinnie- Idiot
8. How did you get into KISS?
Scooby-Doo And Kiss: Rock and Roll Mystery
9. Have you been to a concert?
I have been to nine. Fort Wayne on August 12, 2016, London on July 11, 2019, Tampa on October 9, 2021, KISS Kruise IX & X Sail Away, the indoor concerts, Indiana on November 25, 2023, and the KISS 2020 Goodbye show.
10. Do you have any merch?
Not nearly enough
11. Unique thing you have related to KISS?
I have a really long tongue like Gene Simmons. I was onstage with him in Anderson Indiana, but Gene kicked me off the stage for upstaging him
12. Who is/are your favorite lineup(s)?
Gene, Paul, Eric C, & Bruce
Gene, Paul, Eric, & Bruce
Gene, Paul, Eric, & Tommy
13. What's your favorite era?
Revenge Era
14. What are your opinions on Tommy and Eric?
Love them. They are a lot better than Peter and Ace (in my opinion)
15. A question you would ask the band if you could?
What was the idea behind the song “Take It Off”
16. What other bands/artists are you into?
Alice Cooper, Ghost, The Beatles, Elvis, Black n Blue, Union, ESP, Mötley Crüe, Liliac,
17. Do you have a KISSona?
The Catman
18. Who are some of your favorite blogs?
@2000-man1, @comets-nix, @tanookikiss, @sluttery-withoutshame, @catmansdrumsticks, @daddycatcriss, @eric-carr-the-fox, @ericsinger
19. If you could spend a day with one member who would it be?
Eric Singer
20. How would you explain the band to someone who isn't familiar with KISS?
KISS is an iconic rock band known for their elaborate stage makeup, flashy costumes, and energetic performances. Formed in the 1970s, they're recognized for hits like "Rock and Roll All Nite." Their unique personas, like Gene Simmons' Demon and Paul Stanley's Starchild, contribute to their larger-than-life image, making them a significant influence on the glam metal genre.
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