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do-you-know-this-queer-character · 4 days

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Updates, Apologies, and Moving Forward!

Hello everyone! I am not dead, and this blog is not dead. I know I've been gone for a very long time again, and I'm very sorry.

I had to say goodbye to my cat, my emotional support animal, my baby. I won't say too much here, but she was suffering, and unfortunately there was nothing that could be done. My mental health is fragile at the best of times, and while I am okay and safe, it has been a difficult few months for me. I am also a full-time college student with a job, so all of my free hours were spent in grief. It's taken me a while to feel alright enough to come back, but here I am. I'm still passionate about queer representation in media, and I want to continue to share queer characters with the tumblr community. Starting tomorrow, I will resume the 8 times a day posting schedule that I was starting to utilize before my disappearance, as queueing posts makes my life much easier. I'm sorry if I don't respond to notes or asks left during my break. It's a lot to sort through and I value community engagement on this blog more than anything but I am just one person and I can only do so much. Feel free to re-send asks! Going forward, I'll be making a few changes. I am working on a publicly available google sheet of all characters that have been posted on this blog with results that I will link in a visible place so that people wanting to submit a character can (hopefully) quickly search to make sure that character hasn't been posted yet. I also will eventually be looking for another mod, although that will not be until the summer and I will make more posts when the time comes. I will personally be awol for the last few weeks of may and the first few weeks of june due to a job opportunity out of the country, but I am intending to have queued posts continuing to upload at the regular schedule during that time. Unfortunately this means I won't be able to edit mistakes or answer questions, but hopefully any issues can be addressed when I return. Thank you all for your patience, I'm sorry that this radio silence has gone on for so long, but I've thought about this blog a lot during my absence and I'm certain that it's not a project I'm giving up on any time soon.

#update #not a poll

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jamiebluewind · 2 months

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Shubble and Wilbur situation

This is a post compiling links to all the information on the Shelby Grace aka Shubble (formerly lilshortysgs, she/they) and William Patrick Spencer Gold aka Wilbur Soot (formerly SootHouse Wilbur and current lead singer of Lovejoy, he/him) situation that I have found. I tried my best to keep my language neutral and put all the data in one easy to look through place so that everyone can see it and make their own decisions (I also attempted to reblog most of it myself so that the version linked is frozen to the one that existed when I read it). I've included a post with the public reactions of content creators, which - while decidedly not neutral - show the public reactions of a lot of people who knew one or both of them at the time.

That being said, I'm one person. I probably missed plenty of stuff and there is most likely new information that has came out since I posted this, but I tried my best with what I had while also sick with bronchitis. The post I personally made on the subject is linked at the very bottom (I wanted to be as transparent as possible).

Anyway, here is everything I've gathered.

(Also, for anyone who is still learning English, bias in this case means something that sways opinion one way or the other)

The re-upload of Shubble's video on YouTube (Post where video was taken from is at the bottom of this post due to containing the opinion of a tumblr user)

youtube

Post that describes Shubble's video in text form for anyone who can't watch the video

Note: Text concerning the video is fairly neutral and accurate (other than Wilbur's name being used which was not stated in the video and was revealed later), but the last paragraph at the bottom contains @mysticalblue09 's opinion as someone who does not personally know Shubble or Wilbur (as far as I am aware), so be mindful of that.

Link to Wilbur's appology on Twitter/X

https://x.com/WilburSoot/status/1762505851699380353?s=20https://x.com/WilburSoot/status/1762505851699380353?s=20

Post with image of Wilbur's appology and a compilation of reactions (bias warning). Original post by @raixkim with additions by @galaxyempire-lilith (both all verified by me) and myself (all images save a link to one reaction and embedded video of another)

Note: I went through various minecraft roleplay wikis and former and current members of Lovejoy and added as many screenshots as I was allowed to in my reply (image limit) on March 4th (then I got to sick to finish the post). This is only to show how people in their circle at the time and former and current Lovejoy members publicly reacted to the news and not to gossip or shame someone for what they did or did not say. (Also, I genuinely attempted to find public posts by someone who knew one or both of them that was supporting Wilbur or even not supporting Shubble to keep my addition neutral, but I found none on my own after going through multiple discords and over 70 Twitter/X profiles, so I had to eventually give up)

Shelby's full statement on Wilbur's apology (just images)

Direct link to it on Twitter/X

https://x.com/shelbygraces/status/1763623249416704219?s=20

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Below are links to a couple how tos, links to posts by tumblr users that contains personal bias, and my own post on the topic. These things are all by people not directly affiliated with the parties involved. While most of them are not actively combative, most show some level of bias towards Wilbur Soot/Gold. I put all of them at the bottom because I wanted readers to make up their own minds without being influenced by my opinions or the opinions of people not connected to Shubble or Wilbur. Hopefully by this point, you'll know if you want to read more or stop here.

My personal reaction

Ideas on what to do with merch from things you no longer like/want to support by @elfchaos

Bands similar to Lovejoy by @st4rryskiescO

Tip: You can block an artist on Spotify mobile (some sites say it doesn't work on desktop) by going to the artist profile, clicking the 3 dot menu, and selecting "Don't play this." As of this time, I could not find a similar feature on Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, or Pandora other than individually disliking songs.

The post I found the Shubble video embedded in with a list of what @proudfreakmetarusonniku felt they learned during the video

Post that contains the opinions of @mor-starz on Wilbur's influence going forward. Includes a link to a video that summarizes everything (video wasn't linked in the previous section because while it is the closest to neutral I found, there was still bias in the video and thumbnail)

A post with reactions of Wilbur's reddit community and some of his mods by @megastrangeskeleton

Since then, all twitch mods have been removed/unmodded by Wilbur as well as the bot that linked to charities. According to multiple former mods (including kalli which can be found on twitter/x), someone made a new account on May 1st that is a Simpson's reference (jebediahspringfield12345), followed Wilbur, and was modded by Wilbur within minutes of following, leading them to believe that Wilbur made an alt account (named after a show he's known to enjoy) and then made that account a mod to avoid getting banned for having an unmodded account.

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fiyasgideon · 11 months

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With @elhnrt (Lena) opening her Patreon I would like to inform those who might not have seen my original call-out post (which you can find here) of the current situation going on between her and me, so that they may be more informed of her professionalism before giving her their money.

I do recommend for those who haven't seen the original post to go read it now, but the short story version is that I paid Lena for a commission back on August 4th, 2022, and she has since cut all communication with me since trying to contact her about it on October 24th, 2022.

WARNING: Just like with the original post, this post wasn't made to have people harass her, (and I discourage anyone from doing so) but simply to inform those who plan on doing business with her of her unprofessional behavior.

Click "Keep Reading" to see what has happened since.

As of today, June 3rd of 2023, I still haven't heard from her, despite my many attempts to get a response. Since creating the original post linked above I have tried 3 more times to contact her through DMs or Tumblr asks before I ultimately decided to block her Tumblr and Twitter for my own mental health, leaving my discord open to her for communication should she finally decide to reach out to me.

And right up until just over week ago I had been doing pretty well with trying to forget about this whole thing and moving on. But then someone who was aware of the situation between Lena and I contacted me. They told me that Lena was opening her Patreon and asked if I had heard back from her about my commission, of which I had not.

With advice from some friends I decided to try to contact Lena once more, in a more public way. I unblocked her and left a comment on her post that announced her Patreon, asking her once more about the commission. It has been 9 days since then and I still have not heard from her, despite her heavy activity on Twitter and her Patreon since my posting of that comment.

But, since she has not been active yet on Tumblr I decided to try one more time to have her reply to me. This was an option I had not wanted to try previously due to how public this attempt was, but I did not want to leave any chances for people to claim that maybe she never saw my messages. So I went to her Twitter and unblocked her before tagging her in a tweet asking about the commission again, and just over 24 hours later, and despite her active on Twitter, she still hasn't responded to me.

With this I have now been left with no more options in which to try and get her to respond to me in any way. So I, once again, am making a post to inform others so that something like this doesn't happen to them, as she clearly doesn't care about those who try to support her.

#elhnrt #madatobi #fiyas speaks

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melodygatesauthor · 10 months

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Weekly Update - 07/09/2023

There's a LOT to cover this week but it's all REALLY important so please read <3 (below the cut) ~

Announcements

~ Cruise ~

I'm going on a cruise from 07/15/2023-07/23/2023! I really shouldn't have, but my family peer pressured me into it and now I can't get my money back if I back out so I'm going anyway lol.

I paid extra to have WiFi in my cabin, however I don't know how good it will be. I refuse to pay the ridiculous amount of money to use the data on my phone out there. That being said, my online time will be limited.

If for any reason I cannot access my internet or have issues getting on Tumblr @whatthefishh will give you all an update letting you know. (She hasn't confirmed this with me yet but I assume she will lol)

I'm going to be trying to get some works written ahead of time and scheduled to post while I'm away so it will be like I never left! (except I won't be able to respond much).

~ Masterlist ~

My masterlist is ALMOST complete. Once I'm done with it this time I will NOT be changing it again (unless my aesthetic changes but that will only be a cosmetic update). I'm happy with the way it's organized right now and I don't think it can get any better than it is personally lol. (I'm very proud of it please praise me)

~ FAQs ~

I'm working on an FAQs list to hopefully mitigate some of the repeat questions I get, or so I can just link them instead of having to respond to each individual question.

~ Thank You ~

The biggest thank you possible to those who sent in tips this week. I can't thank you enough. I added the tip thing without the expectation that people would actually use it so to have so many of you this week blew my mind. I love you, and I appreciate you more than you can know.

Disclaimer - I never know which way the winds of inspiration will blow. Timeframes aren't a promise/guarantee, they're a goal.

Fic Updates Legend:

Blue - should be posted this week

Pink - In progress actively (working on but will not be posted this week)

Red - Backburner Fic (will work on later. See WIP list for status)

Long/Chaptered Fics Updates

A Bit Dodgy - This fic is currently on hiatus. The plan is for it to return 07/31/2023. Things may change and if they do I'll let you all know! Thank you for bearing with me. More detailed explanation here.

Always Yours, Never Mine - Chapter 2 is coming right up! Just a couple scenes to add and it will be good to go. I'm thinking I'll be able to churn out one chapter a week but don't hold your breath please haha, things are getting really busy, but this fic is at the front of my mind right now for sure. - New chapter this week

The Fractured Moon - currently working on These Fractured Knights (TFM Bonus Chapters) ��😏 - Hoping to have the next chapter out this week. This has been moved to "longfics" since it will be at over 40k words upon completion. - New chapter this week

Mini-series Updates

Feeling You Can't Fight - New chapter coming out this week.

Not a Doctor - Part 2 coming soon - not for a while though.

Worth the Risk - taking a small step back from this for now. It’s not at the top of my inspiration list so I’m moving it down the line temporarily. - will work on a later date

The Good Doctors - idea by @burnincrown - Dr. Marc Spector - It's going to be a long time in the works, and it will probably replace TFM when that one is done. In development - Work on it a different week

Requests Updates

There are 4 ficlets left for my 1k follower celebration. Finally getting them done (I'm almost at 2k now lmao but won't be doing a celebration until a different milestone).

As a reminder, once these requests are finished, my requests will be closed for good. You can see the post explaining that here. Thank you again for the support and understanding!

Moon Boys X f!Reader by @simpforbritgents

Asking for something like Feeling Flustered where the moon boys are doing guided phone sex.

Marc Spector X f!Reader by @blueflowerhat

Marc shower sex based on AI prompt.

Nathan Bateman X f!Reader by @campingwiththecharmings

This is the prompt that hit me like a Nathan-shaped mac truck! -> “if you don’t like my teasing why are you moaning”

Nathan Bateman X f!Reader by Anon

Cam girl reader x Nathan - Nathan turns to a cam girl, he's been kinda stalking her. (Excited hehe)

That's all for now guys! I love you all and thank you so much for all the support you continue to give no matter what. You're amazing <3

#melody gates updates #moon knight #across the spiderverse #miguel o'hara #marc spector #jake lockley #steven grant #santiago garcia #triple frontier #ex machina #nathan bateman

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wishful-soda · 1 year

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Hi hello hi

Bit of an announcement/update/word vomit thing. Sorry it's so long.

First; I'd like to apologize for dropping off the face of the Earth. I've received lots of asks/messages checking in on me & I promise I didn't ignore anyone on purpose, I genuinely couldn't tell you the last time I opened tumblr.

Okay so; I know most of you are aware this hasn't been the greatest year for me mental health wise. It's been the hardest year for my depression in a loooong time & that was with just every day life being life.

Welp, the universe or God or the grand pubah or whoever decided that wasn't enough & really socked it to me....I'm not sure if I've mentioned it, but I work in the mortgage industry. A large portion of my pay is bonus pay per file (as usual in this industry) & then I have a smaller base hourly pay. As of August, the bottom completely dropped out of the market when interest rates sky rocketed. My bonuses shrank to almost none.

Being as I had just closed on my very own house that I worked very hard to finally be able to purchase in June, this was not great. Cut to November & it had only gotten worse. Nearly everyone I worked with has been laid off . & then the death blow, they cut my hours to part time.

So a mixture of more work with less support in less hours & trying to figure out how to pay my bills sent me spiraling like big time. I've been a really shitty wife, friend, employee, daughter, etc for the past two months. I haven't had it in me.

I haven't logged on because I've felt so guilty for the lack of updates to SotD that I've felt like I didn't want to be on here. I felt like I couldn't come back without an update or a date for when the next update would be.

That, & the fact that I've not had much free time at all, I've been doing every side hustle I can come up with & applying for second jobs.

I'm genuinely so sorry you guys. I feel like I've totally failed all of you & I hate it. I do plan on coming back to SotD, but I honestly cannot tell you when & for that I am also so so sorry. I am just trying to stay alive right now & it's a struggle every day.

I know no one asked for this much info about my life and it's quite possibly too much, but I felt like I owed y'all more than 'Idk when I'll update again'.

I appreciate all of your messages & want to thank you so much for your concern & care about me. I know I have not responded yet, but I promise I've read every single one of them this morning. It means more than I have the capacity to express right now. Thank you for loving my writing & being literally the best online community/family I could ever ask for.

I'm so genuinely sorry.

I hope you are all doing well & hope to be able to get back to hanging out here, I really miss it.

Love y'all 💖

xx Soda

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poisonappletales · 8 months

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Hello!!! I one of your favorite of this game and comic, but i still mind to ask please will you please update us for fans when you will resume to your comic work, I really miss the comic a lot 😫😭😭😭.

Hello, Anonymous!

I'm glad to hear you like my games and comics - I assume you're referring to Don't Take This Risk for both.

At the moment, I'm focused on finishing up Beauty and the War (X Playing Pieces), which is where you can also romance Unknown from Don't Take This Risk and find out his real name/background. However, finishing the webtoon is definitely on my to-do list. It'll just have to be after I finish Beauty and the War (X Playing Pieces). So just keep following this tumblr here to stay updated!

I normally visit the Discord at least once a month, typically on the last weekend. But as I mentioned in my last post, I'm recovering from a mild concussion. It is better now than before, but I'm still recommended to limit brain-intensive activities. I'm supposed to do that for a month at the minimum, and it hasn't been quite a month yet since I got it. My brain bandwidth doesn't have enough energy for a trip to the Discord today, so just to be safe, let's meet again next month instead!

I do appreciate everybody's support and patience so far, including what I received over email. I do plan to respond to them later on! They're all heartfelt messages I truly appreciate. Just give me some time to keep healing and I'll get back into the swing of things as soon as I can.

I hope you all have a great weekend!

#ask

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willenator · 6 months

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Tumblr Domains Challenges

I decided to move my domain name from Google Domains to Tumblr Domains. Google Domains sold off their business to SquareTrade, but they still manage it for the time being. Since Tumblr Domains is the same price as Google Domains, and I used Tumblr for my blog, I figured it would be a good fit for me. Transfer my domain and then have my blog and domain hosted by the same company. Seems pretty simple, right?

Unfortunately, that hasn't been the case for me. I know that Tumblr Domains is new, and I'm sure there are some bugs they need to work out. However, Tumblr is owned by Automattic, who also owns Wordpress, and Wordpress has been selling domains for years now. I figured they were using their experience from that, but maybe it is handled by a different team. Either way, it has been an interesting start.

The first challenge I had was actually triggering the start of the domain transfer. I had grabbed the auth code from Google Domains to approve the transfer, and I kept getting an error code when I would click submit on Tumblr's end. After trying for a couple of days, it finally worked. I had actually submitted a support ticket about it on day two, but on day three it worked.

Like most domain transfers, I figured it would take a few days for everything to move over. I was able to start configuring the basic settings the very next day which was nice. After four days, I noticed I could still not access my domain by typing it into my web browser, so I reached out to Tumblr support again. A few days later it started working just one hour before they reached out to me. I only know this because I had connected my domain to a third-party email provider and it couldn't verify because they couldn't see the domain. All of a sudden, I got an automated email saying it was now connected and then I got the email from Tumblr support that they weren't seeing any issues on their end. I actually chuckled at that. Either it was pretty impressive timing that they checked on it right after it worked itself out, or they did fix something first and then reached out to me.

Okay, so now I have my domain working, but in the most recent response from Tumblr support, they told me that I had yet to verify my contact information, and my domain would be suspended after 10 days of registering it. So, I checked my emails, and I never received an email stating anything about verifying. The Tumblr support help site even lists what the subject line would read, and I tried searching for that in my email. Nothing. So, I am now waiting for another couple of days until someone with Tumblr support responds to me about this.

I have one other issue to report to Tumblr support, but I'm holding off on that one until I know I can keep using my domain with my Tumblr blog. That additional issue is DNS records. I need to add a handful of of records to get my email working with Tumblr Domains. However, it only lets me add three records after the initial one, and won't let me add anymore, which doesn't let me add all the additional records I need to fully make my provider work with it.

While it is a little frustrating, I would really like to make this work, and I'm willing to keep giving it a try. We shall see how this goes. I'm curious if others have had similar issues trying to use Tumblr Domains so far. I'm rooting for Tumblr and Automattic, and I'm only sharing this in case someone else is struggling as well. I think sharing information like this might help someone else. I'll post some updates to my blog as things continue to be worked out.

#Tumblr #Domains

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dataanxiety · 2 years

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If you think the US doesn’t have a police brutality problem I want whatever fucking crack you’re smoking and I want as much of it as you can give me cause clearly it made you braindead enough to not see the shit going on around you

This is a very brave and original message from my inbox! It is only the fifth in over 12 years of tumblr tumblogging.

Where to begin?

"I want whatever fucking crack you're smoking"

Nice. Anon really should redirect that to the Hunter Biden tumblr, not mine. He is the expert, although his torrid torrent of images and videos, recorded by autobiographically-inclined Hunter himself, indicates a preference for methamphetamine rather than crack cocaine. It is difficult to spend any time online, or even watching television, without seeing evidence of such. Hunter Biden is nothing if not prolific.

"I want as much of it as you can give me cause clearly it made you braindead..."

Sorry not-sorry to disappoint, but I am not yet braindead enough to give you crack for free. Good luck with that. Hit up some of your like-minded friends and see how far you get.

Police brutality

I'm not sure when or in what context I said that the United States doesn't have a police brutality problem. I received this message via my Ask Me Anything thing sometime in the past month. My Ask Me Anything thing supports URLs though no HTML5 for style. I wish Anon had been more specific, nevertheless, I am glad to respond.

Given the crime statistics in major cities throughout the U.S., I would say that we have the very opposite of a police brutality problem now. I am not referring exclusively to the coastal liberal progressive enclaves of New York, Baltimore, Seattle, San Francisco, and Los Angeles, now notorious for their rampant lawlessness and criminal activity. Much of the Carolinas, Chicago, Atlanta, Minneapolis, St. Louis, and Albuquerque are no better. Hmm, those cities have been dominated by liberal progressive policymakers for decades too, so that isn't much of a distinction.

I do believe that civilian law enforcement has been militarized to a disturbing extent. It hasn't seemed to help much. That's because the police have become increasingly isolated from the communities and the polity of the people they protect.

Class warfare not race warfare

In many urban areas, police and public school teachers and supermarket employees and other "essential workers" experience similar problems. They work with people who are very different than they are, be it ethnically or by income or both. As a result, they often live in very different and sometimes distant places from where they work. Diversity is NOT necessarily a strength.

Many police forces are racially diverse, with male and female officers. That doesn't seem to help either.

Many cities with the worst crime rates, including homicides, are governed by people who are uncomfortable with the expression, "The state has a monopoly on violence".

Interestingly enough, the city of Detroit seems to have a police force without any accusations of brutality. There isn't rampant crime either. I wonder why...

"see the shit going on around me"

You should see what is going on around people who work in retail or at Walgreen’s! The lawlessness and violence has become so extreme that yesterday, Starbucks announced its decision to permanently close 16 profitable stores in Portland, Seattle, Los Angeles, and Washington D.C. because employees say that neither they nor their customers are safe from crime.

I DO see police being told not to pursue people in the act of committing felonies. Police pursuit is not allowed by vehicle or on foot in Los Angeles, whose District Attorney’s election campaign was heavily funded by liberal progressive George Soros’s Open Society initiative. Gascon is embattled in a recall effort by many of those same people, now that they see the effects of his defund-the-police election rhetoric, which he put in place once in office.

A few hundred miles to the north, in San Francisco, The Weathermen's child, Chesa Boudin was recently recalled as District Attorney due to out of control crime. It was before but got much in response to Boudin’s casual attitude to criminal violence, and neutering of law enforcement. There is no police brutality in San Francisco, rest assured!

And have you forgotten so soon about that town in Texas, where the school children were massacred? The police did not one single thing to the shooter. They didn't do anything at all. No one was brutalized. That's the way you want it, I gather.

In case you missed it, "Hands up, don't shoot was a lie" and Jonathan Capehart with the Washington Post should know. Here's another link, from The Gay Advocate in case Bezos's blog at WaPo has the paywall up tight.

Tell me some more about how we don't need police please because they are so brutal. They don't seem to do much of anything anymore, because they are told not to. What are you complaining about?

#police brutality #abolish the police #defund the police

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gorgonmemes · 2 years

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...I usually never devote, I work on my own. You're making me wanna see if Medusa would work with me. It seems so healthy and good.

i really recommend it. reach out to her. she saved my life. she's so protective and patient and kind and nurturing, too, which might seem strange but it doesn't feel strange. she's almost maternal.

she takes care of her devotees. she takes care of every woman who asks for her help, and she reaches out herself to women who need her. she reached out to me like that when i was eighteen & had just been assaulted. she's been with me ever since, every step of the healing process.

she encourages me. she nurtures my anger. she doesn't let it consume me, though; i give my rage to her as an offering and she takes it, soothes it, simmers it down until i can manage it and breathe. she encourages me in my journey to unlearning femininity & passivity. she stands guard at my back when i'm alone. she never lets me be alone, especially in the vicinity of men, in public places; i feel her in my hands, in my jaw, up my spine, telling me that she's there. it makes me more confident. i don't fear being looked at anymore. i answer it with a glare that she taught me.

she helps with feelings of insecurity about my body. i've been trying to stop shaving for years now but every summer i crack and shave my legs because i still can't show it in public. not yet. she helps with it, and she doesn't get mad at me if i mess up and shave and have to begin the process all over again.

i used to be afraid of ghosts & demons; my grandmother's house is haunted and i've had some experiences in my own, too, but ever since medusa entered my life, i'm not afraid anymore. nothing is bigger and scarier than she is. i use a pendulum sometimes to talk to her - i ask her if she will protect me and she says YES so powerfully, i was so stunned the first time i tried that and she responded to me with such excitement and force.

she's also very curse-friendly. she's fiercely protective. if i have a good reason to curse someone, and i reach out to her, that's it. she's on them. there's a tumblr that was harassing me on a different blog, and i reached out to medusa, and that blog hasn't posted a single thing since. it's been weeks. i cursed my abusive ex and his dog died. i cursed the woman complicit in my sister's rape and her father died. she is extremely powerful and i never ever curse without good reason but when i do, she loves it. she will defend you until the end of time.

if you need any advice or resources for her, my DMs are open & i'd be more than happy to help you out. i love talking about her. she loves it when i share information and literature on how to work with her; all she really wants to do is support and protect women. if you think she's reaching out to you, she probably is.

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oatmilkovich · 2 years

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today's thoughts in wilhelm anon world: do you think wille really believed the queen and thought denying it was him was right? he said to simon it was the only option. or was it just the only option because he didn't see any other way out of it? or he was given no other option and he didn't know what else to do than what was expected of him as the crown prince? when he goes to see simon he doesn't seem confident at all, quite the opposite. his posture is unsure and he's fidgeting. yet he says it was the only option and that it doesn't have to affect their relationship. it's simon who's sure of what he wants (and good for him even though the situation was fucked up). at this point wille didn't even know it was august who betrayed him and that his mother betrayed him too by protecting august (the cruelty!!!). it kills me to think how he maybe believed it was the only way out and that simon might agree to being together in secret. or does he even believe his feelings matter and that he has the right to be happy 😭 the queen sure hasn't said anything to make it seem like wille himself matters. i hope the lyrics foreshadow s2 and wille believes he deserves more and simon deserves more. i don't think i can deal with how long it is until we get s2 and then gray made me cry with her cg ending post and i don't want to say goodbye to them 🥛🍊 either 😔

thank you for reading my ramblings and taking the time to respond, you're a treasure ♥️

wilhelm anon 🥰❤️

i have tried to answer this like 5 times at this point and my app keeps crashing (why does tumblr not want me to talk about wille 💔)

i think at that the moment of making the statement, everything is piling up for wille. his mother basically says that he is doomed for life if he chooses to be with simon publicly — holding the media attention they’ve had over the last few days over his head because she knows its a card she can play. i don’t think he’s surprised by her reaction to him asking why he can’t just be in a relationship with simon, i think he always knew it was the inevitable answer — anything else was a pipe dream, no matter how much he wanted to believe he could get his mother on his side. he has to accept it.

it’s really sad but i think he knew he’d be fighting a losing battle. his body language when he meets simon isn’t confident at all — it’s defeated. you can feel his desperation in the way edvin delivers the lines — begging him to understand. which simon does — simon understands the situation, but he sticks to his grounds and doesn’t cave to accept something that genuinely would make him miserable. especially after being left behind to deal with wille denying it was him in the video.

i think he realises that his feelings and what he wants will always come second to what works for the crown — this is only further solidified for him by the knowledge that the queen chose to protect their reputation and august than support him. i definitely think we’ll see wille dealing with that in season 2 — i hope he stands up for himself, he deserves to stand up for himself. his feelings matter, his love for simon matters and that will never matter to his mother or the royal family. the fire inside him is lit, it’s going to be a revolution.

sorry for taking a day to answer this! i’ve been a little busy. also i hope this makes sense, i’m running on a couple hours of sleep so i don’t know if it’s just a rambling mess. i’m also incredibly sad about cg ending 💔💔 it’s been such a solid joy of comfort for the last year, i can’t believe it’s finally going to be over.

i hope you have a lovely day anon. i’m always, always here for any discussions you want to have! i love them. you’re the best! ❤️❤️

#asks #wilhelm anon #look you have your own tag #young royals

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somerandomdudelmao · 1 year

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at this point i can type in your @ in less than a second, just thought i'd let you know because wow

That's... actually so sweet °^°

#Tumblr tech support hasn't responded to me about the shadow ban yet #so I'm practically a ghost and it's pretty lonely:(#But some of you anons keep finding my blog #and sending me asks and comments #It's nice to know I'm remembered I guess haha

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justtogetthrough · 2 years

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I truly don't get people who go quiet when they're in a depression episode or whatever. Like, if someone asks me how I'm doing or what I did today I'd be like oh my god, social connection, a chance to get this all out of my head and feel a modicum of love in return, let me tell you aaaaalll about it bc I don't wanna dump it on ppl when I think I need to but if you're asking it's obv a good time for it so yes I will tell you what's on my heart and mind. Thank you so much for offering me this chance to be open about my suffering.

But

Other people just... open my messages with those checking-in questions and then leave them on read and I'm sad bc I do truly wanna know and I'm sad bc I don't know how to help other than show interest and offer oortunity to talk if they want to.

For me, being chronically lonely and forced into silence when all I long for is to get support from people, I cannot comprehend having the chance to receive that support and not taking it. Choosing to not answer and let the text convo move on in an hour when I find something new to bring up that isn't about their personal experience and brings us back to a neutral or superficial topic to at least elicit responses from them, receive that engagement.

How are they not bursting, waiting, for the chance to share what's wrong and receive love and support in return?

Am I weird for how desperately intensely I long for those things due to chronic childhood neglect and repeated abandonment from people and institutions who were supposed to help me? I want someone to care about how I'm doing so bad I always answer ppl's how are you questions. Appropriate to the time and place of course, and level of relationship. But I have close friends who don't feel compelled to be heard and understood at any possible chance it appears. What has their life been like that leads them to not answer. Is it lack of trust? Am I bad at providing what they need? Idk man. It means everything to me when friends are there for me and they ask and I respond and when I love these friends as much as I do, i want to offer that back to them. I don't understand why they don't want that when from my point of view it is the most life affirming interaction someone could do. I don't know what I'm supposed to do instead to cheer someone up or help them feel loved or supported or even at minimum brighten their day. This unknowing social schemas for stuff like this, not understanding social things, or situations that don't play out as I plan internal, these are significant reasons why I think I could be on the spectrum bc I really struggle with not understanding what people do or don't want from me. I know what I would want for them, but there's this break down of theory of mind I guess and I just... social norms don't make sense to me and don't come naturally but I try my best and I follow scripts bc in reality I have no idea what I should be doing. All I want is for my friends to feel loved and supported. Idk where exactly the disconnect happens and it drives me nuts. I wish I understood social interactions and relationships more bc sometimes I just really wanna be that person who can make others feel better.

But I just don't get how, I don't think I was born a fully formed human being so I didn't come stocked with that skill and I've yet to find a manual. So.

Instead I get extremely high on zopiclone mixed with other sedatives and write about it on tumblr dot com in case writing and thought organizing reveals any new insight.

So far it hasn't.

I feel like even my thoughts are slurring right now.

I just want to love people in a way that feels warm and safe and comfy for them and I'm afraid I don't know how to love people in those ways and I'm afraid I am missing key knowledge normal people have that makes this more successful for them idk

It's really hard for me consistently and I'm just

Tired

Frustrated

Defeated

I want to love you. I don't know how to do it properly or in the way that you want.

#personal #actuallyborderline #neurodivergent af #id reread tis but the sedatives are hitting fast

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shadesofdeviant · 3 years

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Flufftober 2021 || Masterlist

Quick Links:

1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14 || 15 || 16 || 17 || 18 || 19 || 20 || 21 || 22 || 23 || 24 || 25 || 26 || 27 || 28 || 29 || 30 || 31

Fandom(s): 9-1-1 && 9-1-1: Lone Star Ship(s): Buddie, Russley, Tarlos && Platonic/Familial ships

Prompt List & Fills:

Day 1: Winning A Teddy For The Other

Title: Rainbow Coloured Monstrosity Fandom: 9-1-1: Lone Star Pairing: Tarlos Chapters/Length: 1/1 || 3126 Words Rating: Gen Warnings: None Link To Fic: AO3 || Tumblr Summary: He's always dreamt of bringing a boyfriend to the carnival. Showing off on the shooting gallery and winning a prize for the love of his life much like his father had, so eager to see the enamoured flush spreading across their cheeks as he hands them the gift he's put so much effort into winning.

Day 2: Sneaking Out Together

Title: Chocolate Malts, Chicken Bites & French Fries Fandom: 9-1-1/9-1-1: Lone Star Pairing: Eddie Diaz & Carlos Reyes (Familial) Chapters/Length: 1/1 || 2903 Words Rating: Gen Warnings: Angst, References to Religious based homophobia, Slight internalized homophobia Link To Fic: AO3 || Tumblr Summary: "E-Eddie…I-I…" Carlos tries to start; before his throat tightens suddenly as he's hit with the realisation of just how much support he's at risk of losing if Eddie doesn't accept him. It hadn't even crossed his mind until that moment that Eddie might not approve, yet somehow, the simple act of buying him food and milkshakes to cheer him up really hits home just how much he could lose.

Day 3: Lazy Sundays

Title: Breakfast Quesadillas Fandom: 9-1-1 Pairing: Buddie Chapters/Length: 1/1 || 1288 Words Rating: Gen Warnings: None Link To Fic: AO3 || Tumblr Summary: "You made me breakfast in bed?" Buck echoes in disbelief. Ignoring the food tray in his lap, Buck reaches over to press a large palm against the side of Eddie's neck, twisting and leaning in as best he can to press a kiss to the brunet's temple.

Day 4: Sparklers & Fireworks

Title: A More Impartial Judge Fandom: 9-1-1 Pairing: Eddie & Josh (Background Russley) Chapters/Length: 1/1 || 2409 Words Rating: Gen Warnings: References to canon trauma, Eddie has PTSD Link To Fic: AO3 || Tumblr Summary: Just as he's about to open the door, Eddie realises that he doesn't want him to go. Whilst he had originally snuck away, not wanting to face the embarrassment of panicking in front of a garden full of first responders; the idea of being alone once more suddenly feels like a knife to the stomach."Wait," he calls out softly, watching as Josh instantly stops and turns back round to face him. "I-I'd appreciate the company honestly. If you're not expected back?"

Day 5: Watching The Sunrise

Title: Keep Their Memories Alive Fandom: 9-1-1 Pairing: Bobby & Buck Chapters/Length: 1/1 || 2416 Words Rating: Gen Warnings: References to canonical child death, Implied child neglect following 4x05 Buck Begins Link To Fic: AO3 || Tumblr Summary: Remembering something he keeps hidden in his wallet and hasn't shown to anyone but Athena, May and Harry, Bobby shifts slightly, being careful not to accidentally knock either himself or Buck off the rooftop as he retrieves his wallet from his back pocket with his free hand. He works it open, before carefully extracting the creased photograph tucked in there, and holds it out for Buck to see. "Is that…?" Buck gasps as he blinks down at the photograph.

Day 6: Fireman's Carry

Title: I'll Carry You Fandom: 9-1-1: Lone Star Pairing: Tarlos Chapters/Length: 1/1 || 2000 Words Rating: Gen Warnings: Mild references to injury & broken bones Link To Fic: AO3 || Tumblr Summary: "What?! I'm not letting you sleep on the sofa with a fractured ankle!"

"And just how are you going to get me up the stairs?" Carlos asks, eyebrow lifting softly.

"I'll carry you."

Day 7: Meddling Friends

Title: Welcome To Chez Diaz Fandom: 9-1-1 Pairing: Russley, Eddie & Christopher Chapters/Length: 1/1 || 3431 Words Rating: Gen Warnings: None Link To Fic: AO3 || Tumblr Summary: "Did we forget about a plan superman?" Buck questions gently as Christopher steps back and lets the pair of them in, Buck crouching down to lightly fix Christopher's moustache as it peels off with the shifting of his philtrum.

"It's a date!" Christopher exclaims before seemingly remembering the role he's supposed to play and straightens up and steps back. "Welcome to Chez Diaz! Let me show you to your seats!"

Buck and Josh are still reeling from Christopher's declaration and spare each other a quick glance before they follow after the smartly dressed boy.

When they arrive at the dining area, Christopher pauses and lifts his hands to clap them quickly, clearly summoning someone, and Buck and Josh stare as Eddie comes through from the kitchen in his own suit, one eyebrow-raising as if daring them to say anything about his own cartoonish moustache.

Day 8: Cooking Lessons

Title: Chocolate Orange Babka Fandom: 9-1-1: Lone Star Pairing: Tarlos Chapters/Length: 1/1 || 3031 Words Rating: Gen Warnings: None Link To Fic: AO3 || Tumblr Summary: "Well, either way, stop it now so we can enjoy this wonderful creation of TK's." she smiles, gesturing for the paramedic to step forward so he can place the plate on the table. "What did you say it was called again mijo?"

"It's a chocolate orange babka," TK replies proudly as he takes the knife Andrea hands him and carefully slices into it.

Day 9: Text Messages

Title: Stand By, This Is Getting Weird Fandom: 9-1-1 Pairing: Pre/Endgame-Buddie Chapters/Length: 1/1 || 1687 Words Rating: Gen Warnings: None Link To Fic: AO3 || Tumblr Summary: So, it was safe to say that Buck has been all but conditioned to expect text messages from family to equate bad times.

This is why when his phone suddenly chimes with a text from Eddie, Buck's mind spirals out of control before he even opens it.

I need you to invent an emergency fast. This date is making me miss Afghanistan.

Day 10: Pillow Fight

Title: The Fight Is On! Fandom: 9-1-1: Lone Star Pairing: Tarlos Chapters/Length: 1/1 || 1548 Words Rating: Gen Warnings: None Link To Fic: AO3 || Tumblr Summary: What he originally assumed was a note letting Carlos know that TK had left last minute to go rush off somewhere like his dad's or Judd's to help with a crisis–TK refused to text whenever he knew Carlos would be driving home, just on the off chance that the officer would get distracted and end up in an accident–was, in fact, something much more exciting.

Hey babe,

I heard from Mitchell and your dad that you've had the day from hell. So I thought you could do with a bit of cheering up.

You are hereby challenged to a pillow fight!

Day 11: Love Notes

Title: Neon Squares Fandom: 9-1-1 Pairing: Russley Chapters/Length: 1/1 || 1726 Words Rating: Gen Warnings: None Link To Fic: AO3 || Tumblr Summary: The first time it happens, it comes at the cost of Buck's phone.

The device is the unfortunate casualty of a half-asleep hit and run, the firefighter kicking it down the stairs as he shuffles all but blind towards the bathroom, having not realised it had fallen to the floor during the night. And he can do little more than stare as it falls victim to the brutality of concrete and steel as it tumbles, before finally shattering into pieces as it hits the lower ground of his loft.

Day 12: Sleepy Kiss

Title: Familiar Affection Fandom: 9-1-1 Pairing: Pre-Buddie, Eddie & FireFam Chapters/Length: 1/1 || 2362 Words Rating: Gen Warnings: None Link To Fic: AO3 || Tumblr Summary: Eddie turns as he reaches Buck's side and rests back against the counter, a sleepy smile curving the side of his lips as Buck turns to mirror him and hands over the cup of freshly made coffee.

"Thanks, Buck," Eddie mumbles, hugging the mug to his chest as he tilts and lets his head drop against the blond's shoulder and just leaves it there.

Day 13: Pillow Talk

Title: What You Reading? Fandom: 9-1-1 Pairing: Buddie Chapters/Length: 1/1 || 2159 Words Rating: Teen Warnings: Mild Innuendos, References to Canon Buckley/Diaz parenting issues Link To Fic: AO3 || Tumblr Summary: "Go on then, regale me with some obscure facts about love."

Buck hums and lightly scritches his fingers against Eddie's scalp before scrolling back up to the top of the list.

"Okay, did you know…that throughout history, human sweat was one of the main ingredients in perfumes and love potions?"

Eddie's face scrunches in disgust against Buck's chest, so much so that the blond can feel it as it bunches and shifts against his skin, even if he can't see it.

"Really? of all the things to start with you chose that one?"

Day 14: Slow Dancing

Title: Fandom: 9-1-1 Pairing: Russley Chapters/Length: Rating: Warnings: Link To Fic: AO3 || Tumblr Summary:

Day 15: Silly Traditions