#aaron hotchner request | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

headkiss · 8 months

Note

I LOVE the idea of protective Hotch constantly having an eye out for younger bau!agent who’s literally sunshine personified and the complete opposite of him!! Do u think u could write something along the lines of that—maybe him protecting her from something or just their dynamic?

i also love protective hotch!!! tysm for the request i hope u like it baby :D | 1k of fluff, tw for a small burn!

You’d been surprised when you got a job at the BAU. You didn’t have that much faith in yourself at first. Not to say you don’t believe in your skills, but it’s a widely known part of the bureau. A lot of people wanted the job.

And then, there’s Agent Hotchner, unit chief and intimidating though you’re sure he doesn’t mean to be. You were insanely nervous at the beginning.

That was before you started, before the team welcomed you as the new media liaison after Agent Jareau became a profiler. You met Garcia and her collection of fun high heels, Reid and his never ending supply of facts, and you sort of fit right in.

Hotch became much less intimidating. A kind man who cares so deeply for his team that you couldn’t help but like him the way you do. Not to mention the dynamic that built between the two of you.

The small things he does for you that are impossible to ignore. A hand covering the edge of your desk to protect your head when you were searching underneath it for a dropped paper clip, the way he physically places himself between you and danger if he ever gets the chance.

He’s always there, protecting you in ways both big and little, and you enjoy it more than you should.

It’s even brighter on nights like tonight. Drinks and snacks at Penelope’s after a tough case. Nights when you get to call him Aaron instead of Hotch, when he smiles and laughs freely without restraint.

The beep of the oven cuts off yours and Garcia’s conversation, and when she shifts to take care of it, you stop her, “I got it! You’re already hosting, just relax a little.”

“Thank you,” she smiles, squeezing your arm as you walk by.

The smell of food in the oven hits your nose as you walk into the kitchen, humming along to whatever song spills through the speakers.

You pull the oven open, reaching in without thinking and touching the pan with your bare hand. You drop it quickly, metal clanking as it falls back onto the rack in the oven.

“Shit!” You say it loudly, and then, even louder, addressing the team in the next room, “I’m okay!”

They all laugh a little at your reassurance, and then, like they know he wouldn’t let anyone else check on you before him, pretty much every set of eyes in the room lands on Hotch.

He shakes his head and heads to the kitchen, because he would’ve gone either way.

“You okay?” He asks, finding you with an oven mitt on your non-burnt hand, reaching into the oven, and your burnt hand shaking by your side.

“Oh!” You set the pan of nachos on top of the stove and slip off the mitt, turning off the oven and looking at Hotch. “I forgot oven mitts were a thing for a second there. Burnt my hand, I think.”

He’s on you in a second, his hands gently grasping your injured arm, pushing back your sleeve and guiding you over to the sink. His hold is light, never bruising even though you know he has the strength to do so.

It’s the kiss of sunlight on skin.

Aaron turns on the sink, places his fingers under the water to make sure the temperature’s okay before guiding your hand under the stream.

“You still took out the nachos first?” He asks, even when he knows that’s what you’d do, because of course you’re worrying about everyone else before yourself.

“I didn’t want them to burn.”

You’re trying to be brave, though your hand hurts so much there are tears misting your eyes. You’re bouncing on your feet a little to try and deal with the pain.

“How bad does it hurt?” Hotch checks.

Aaron’s felt this sort of protectiveness over you ever since you started. A little younger than him, this ball of light that’s come bursting into his life. You’re always the positive one, even in the darkest situations and he can’t help but want to shield you to keep it that way.

There’s this thing in his chest that tugs and tugs when you’re around, that makes him stand next to you in any room, in front of you in darkness.

“It’s okay,” you say, though your voice cracks a little. “I’m sure you’ve seen much worse, Hotch.”

“Aaron,” he reminds you gently, “and you don’t have to pretend. It’s alright if it hurts, I just wanna help.”

The sink running mingles with the music coming from the next room, the background noise to your moment with him.

“You could bring the nachos out? I told Garcia I would, but we see how that turned out.”

“Okay, I'll bring them out.”

“Don’t forget oven mitts!”

He huffs with a smile, somehow always surprised with how easily you can turn something around. A smile on your face even with tears shining in your eyes and a hand that’s surely stinging.

Aaron carries the tray of nachos and drops them off, then turns to Penelope, “you have a first aid kit?”

“Oh my gosh! Yeah, bathroom cabinet, I can grab it.”

“It’s alright, Garcia. I’ll get it.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Don’t worry. Nothing major, I’m taking care of it.”

He grabs the first aid kit and heads back to the kitchen where you’re still holding your hand under the stream of water.

“Okay,” Aaron sets the kit down on the counter, opening it and then turning off the tap. “Let me see, honey.”

The word melts into you, sticky sweet, and you hold your hand towards him, palm up.

He starts by drying your hand with a piece of paper towel, pressing your skin lightly. His other hand is under yours, his palm against the back of your hand a painkiller in itself.

You hiss when he hits a sensitive spot, and he’s quick to apologize, his voice low and quiet. “Sorry. I’m sorry. Almost done.”

“It’s okay, Aaron. It's not your fault I thought I was heat-proof.”

“You’re cute.”

A smile spreads over your face, your head tilted down to stare and his hands around yours. You watch him spread some Polysporin over your burn, his fingertips featherlight over your skin, soft apologies leaving him every time you flinch a little.

By the time he’s done, the first aid kit shut on the counter, you’ve both forgotten about the rest of the team in the next room. Aaron’s happy to bask in your sunshine.

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chvoswxtch · 5 months

Note

A fic where reader likes Aaron but is like 20 years younger than him (I checked the math, even at the start of the show, he was 43 so that wouldn't have been weird. Unless u find that weird? Pretend i said 10 years if that weirds u out) and she thinks she doesn't have a chance with him and that he wouldn't even consider her. And so she just pines over him with the unrequited crush blues. Maybe hotch seems to "baby" her and be extra protective of her so she chalks it up to being the baby of the team. Meanwhile he does not view her as a baby. At all. And maybe he doesn't even realize he treats her any different. Angst welcome! Definitely romance

She/her pronouns for the fic if u want to do it please 🙏 and thank u 😁

– Zee

MY DARLING ZEE

I have been SO excited to post this one, so thank you for requesting it. as usual, I got carried away, but it's daddy hotch so I apologize for nothing

enjoy ;)

warnings: swearing, lots and lots of angst word count: 4.5k

baby.

Furious didn’t even begin to cover the way you felt currently. The entire cabin of the jet was thick with tension radiating from your barely concealed rage, and for a split second you felt guilty, because the team’s discomfort was more than palpable. But as your gaze wandered to the opposite end of the jet and you caught sight of the culprit of your vexation, brooding heavily in your direction, any sliver of remorse evaporated from your pores and your eyes instantly hardened in response.

Fucking Aaron Hotchner.

Hotch’s thick dark brows were pinched together, creating a crease of annoyance right between them, and his lips were pressed in a line that was harsher than usual, causing his frown lines to settle even deeper into the skin around his mouth. His deep umber eyes were void of any warmth, and there was no evidence of faint mirth creasing around them. Instead his lethal gaze was cold as steel, and as rigorous as stone.

You had seen a more intense version of that look several times before whenever he interviewed unsubs that made monsters look like fairytales, and normally it sent a chill down your spine. Not because you were scared of your boss; quite the opposite actually. Every time you watched him stare down the worst of humanity with an aura of disinterest and a hard glare that showed he was completely unimpressed, you found yourself more and more attracted to him. Especially on the rare occasions when he lost his temper and ended up slamming his hands on the table while yelling in their face. You found that incredibly hot.

From the day you met Hotch for your interview, you had found him attractive. Intimidating as hell, but attractive. The fact that he was your boss didn’t deter you from developing a little crush on him, or the fact that he was a widower with a six year old son. None of that stopped the butterflies that swarmed in your stomach every time he gave you a tiny bit of praise in the form of a “good job”, or a simple nod of approval. In fact, the more Hotch warmed up to you, the worse your little crush got.

You found yourself grinning whenever someone made him crack the tiniest of smiles, and nothing fueled your ego more than his quiet snort whenever you said something he seemed to find funny. Hotch surprisingly had a great sense of humor when the stress of being the unit chief of the B.A.U. wasn’t looming over his head. He could be stubborn and closed off sometimes, and he wasn’t always the best with words, but you could tell by his actions that he truly cared about his team. Unfortunately for you, his treatment revealed exactly how he saw you.

The baby of the team.

It was no secret that’s how the rest of the team saw you too. Derek had been teasingly, but affectionately, referring to you as “Baby Spice” since your first day because you were by far the youngest member of the team and beyond feisty. Spencer even joined in with the nicknames, jokingly calling you “kid” with a proud grin now that he was no longer the youngest, even though there was less than a five year gap between the two of you, which Rossi constantly reminded him of with a smack to the back of his head. At a certain point you realized that Rossi just enjoyed messing with Spencer, but you still grinned at him in appreciation every time he came to your defense.

Even though you were far from being a child, Hotch still treated you differently than the others, which did not go unnoticed by anyone. He was far more protective of you, not allowing you to go anywhere alone when the team was working a case, and he hardly ever wanted you in the interrogation room with unsubs. Only after Emily backed you up, insisting it was important to your training, did he finally allow you to interrogate. But it was under the strict condition that he was always the one in the room with you. He never allowed you to enter a crime scene or a suspected location of an unsub first, and the first time you got injured while on a case, resulting in the tiniest of a cut above your eyebrow, Hotch forced you to take a leave of absence for two weeks.

You made it three days before you burst into his office and demanded that he end your leave.

He didn’t.

Because of the way Hotch seemed to “baby” you, it resulted in the rest of the team doing it too. Emily and JJ weren’t as bad about it, but they definitely put themselves in front of you anytime a situation got dangerous. Derek and Hotch were by far the worst and the most obvious about being overprotective, but Spencer and Rossi weren’t far behind. The only one that ever treated you as an equal was Garcia, and that’s why she was your favorite.

And the only one you confided in about your little crush on your boss. Although, you were sure Emily and JJ had caught on by now. They always flashed you a teasing smirk and a little wink anytime they caught you silently pining.

But that was what seemed to solidify that you would never have a chance with Hotch. Not that he was your boss, or that he had traumatically lost his wife, or that he had a young son, or even the fact that he was a good twenty years older than you. It was that he seemed to view you more as a helpless child than a capable woman.

As soon as the jet landed, you were the first one off. You could hear Hotch’s shoes stomping along the floor of Headquarters right on your heels. While you stopped at your desk to drop off your go bag, fully prepared to get your shit and leave, his angry march continued up the stairs towards his office, but he never once took his irritated glare away from your figure.

“Y/L/N, my office. Now.”

Gritting your teeth hard, you turned your head to shoot daggers in his direction, but he had already disappeared into his office. Disregarding the sympathetic concern from your coworkers, you furiously made your way up the stairs and made a dramatic show of slamming the door to Hotch’s office forcefully behind yourself, which in turn made his eyes narrow into vehement slits as he looked at you. He straightened his back, squaring his shoulders while he stepped around his desk to stand a few feet away from you. He looked absolutely pissed, but you were too lost in your own rage to care.

“You were completely out of line-”

“Oh, bullshit! I was doing my job-”

“I gave you a direct order and you ignored it, putting yourself and the entire team at risk.”

Hotch’s voice rose in volume when you combated his critique, and even though you had spoken over him first, the fact that he was now doing it to you only fueled your anger further. You took a bold step forward and glared up at Hotch as you grit your rebuttal out through your teeth.

“I saved that kid’s life-”

“By being reckless! You could’ve gotten him killed. You could have gotten killed. Don’t you get that?”

“But I didn’t! No one got hurt, so what the fuck is the issue-”

“The issue is you.”

Hotch’s comment quickly halted the verbal punch you were about to throw, and as you glared up at him, you noticed that his nostrils were flaring with fury and that his darkened eyes were wild and blown open with pure unbridled rage. The sting of his words caused the wildfire flaring inside of you to shrink to the dull roar of a fireplace blaze. Crossing your arms over your chest in a sign of defiance, you lowered the volume of your voice and layered it with acidity.

“You’re a fucking hypocrite.”

Hotch narrowed his eyes, which seemed to be glowing with resentment, as he took another step towards you, faintly cocking his head to the side.

“Excuse me?”

He was giving you an opportunity to correct yourself. But one thing Hotch hadn’t seemed to learn about you was that you could be just as stubborn as he was, and once you reached a certain stage in your wrath, you didn’t back down. You went straight for the jugular.

“If it had been you, you wouldn’t have called it ‘reckless’. But because it’s me, you flip out and blow the whole fucking thing out of proportion because you treat me like I’m a goddamn child-”

“I wouldn’t treat you like a child if you didn’t fucking act like one.”

At this point, there was barely an inch of space between you and Hotch, and you had to tilt your head back slightly just to return his scowl. He might as well have thrown gasoline on the fire with that comment, and you were suddenly completely fed up with no one in this goddamn building viewing you as a grown fucking woman.

“If it had been Derek, or Emily, you wouldn’t be giving them shit like this. You would’ve given them a slap on the wrist, but still acknowledged that they got the job done. So why do I get treated differently-”

“Because you’re not as good as you think you are, and you’re certainly not as good as them.”

That simple statement hurt worse than if Hotch had physically struck you across the face with the back of his hand. All the fury within you suddenly fizzled out, and you stood there dumbstruck while Hotch let out an exasperated exhale through his nose and turned away from you to walk around the corner of his desk and plop down angrily in his chair. He opened the file currently sitting in front of him and directed his irritated attention solely to the pages, reaching for a pen from the holder to his right to wrap his fingers around. He didn’t even look up as he barked out his next order.

“You’re suspended for three weeks. When you return, we’ll discuss your behavior and your future here at the B.A.U.”

Everything felt like it had suddenly come crashing down around you, and you found yourself wondering if it was all worth it. The stress of the job, the never ending hours, the horrors you saw day in and day out, but especially the treatment you received from Hotch and the others. You started to wonder if you had tricked yourself into believing it wasn’t harmful and had all come from a good place, but now you weren’t so sure anymore. For the first time since joining the B.A.U., you found yourself wanting out.

Swallowing the pieces of the lump that threatened to form in your throat, you lifted your chin slightly and spoke in a quiet but firm voice.

“No.”

Hotch quickly lifted his gaze to glower up at you, the thickness of his brows making him appear angrier from where you stood above him. However the second he caught the look on your face, his eyes softened considerably and he sat up straight, the semi permanent frown on his lips vanishing into a subtle line. His eyes followed the movement of your hand while you pulled the gun from the holster at your hip and sat it down in front of him on the desk, along with your badge. There was a brief flash of panic in Hotch’s eyes when he looked at you again, and his lips parted slightly, but you didn’t give him a chance to speak.

“I quit.”

Turning around to solemnly leave his office, you ignored the gentle pleas of your name leaving his lips. As you descended the stairs, the team’s heads perked up in curiosity, their gazes darting between your melancholic movements while you gathered your things, and the sight of a frantic Hotch rushing down the stairs like a man on a mission.

“Agent Y/L/N, do not walk away from me when I’m talking to you.”

Realizing that he was getting nowhere by being authoritative, Hotch let out an exasperated deep exhale through his nose and lowered the volume of his voice, speaking in a far gentler tone.

“Y/N we have to talk about this, you can’t just leave.”

You didn’t bother looking at any of them as you began your walk towards the elevators. You could still hear Hotch following closely behind you, and all of a sudden Derek’s large figure appeared in front of you. He dipped his head slightly to capture your eyes, the confusion on his features melting into pure concern as he glanced over your shoulder at Hotch before looking back at you. He held his right hand out towards you as if he were extending an olive branch and tilted his head to the side slightly.

“Whoa, what’s goin’ on Baby Spice? C’mon, talk to me.”

Derek was speaking to you in that gentle manner that he used when he wanted to show a victim that he wasn’t a threat. There was no doubt he could see the sadness and defeat glistening in your eyes, but you didn’t have the energy to rip open the wound any further.

“I’m going home. Please move.”

That was all you could manage to weakly get out as you attempted to step around him. But Derek, being Derek, wasn’t having it. He reached out to gently place his hand on your shoulder.

“I’ll drive you.”

“I can drive myself.”

“Baby-”

“I’m not a child, Derek. I don’t need your help, can you back off?”

Derek’s warm gaze widened considerably, and his neat onyx brows rose up his forehead in complete shock. You had never exploded on him like that, or any of the others for that matter. But right now all you wanted to do was get the hell out of there.

“Let her go.”

Derek glanced over your shoulder to look at JJ in pure confusion, but she gave a slight shake of her head while holding his gaze with a firm look in her ocean blue eyes, giving him a nonverbal cue to sit this one out. After a moment of hesitation, Derek removed his hand from your shoulder and took a step to the left to unblock your path.

The entire team was silent while watching you disappear behind the elevator doors.

»»———　　———««

A subtle but firm series of knocks at your door roused you from your sleep. Squinting at the clock on your bedside table, the lime green numbers read ten twenty-three pm. You hadn’t even remembered falling asleep. As soon as you had walked through the door of your apartment hours ago, you kicked off your shoes and crawled in bed, your mind spiraling about what you had just done and what it meant for the future.

When the knocks grew more impatient, you threw your comforter off with an irritated huff and got out of bed, exiting your bedroom to make your way to the living room to figure out who the hell was knocking on your door this late. However when you swung the front door open, your unexpected visitor was the last person you expected it to be.

Aaron Hotchner.

The darkness under his eyes was more prominent than usual, and his neatly cropped hair looked messy, as if he had been stressfully running his fingers through it. The permanent scowl he normally wore was missing from his lips, and there was a faint flicker of concern highlighted in his eyes. The first two buttons of his white dress shirt were undone, and his merlot colored tie hung loosely around his neck.

He looked exhausted.

Instead of speaking, you arched one of your dark brows, silently asking for the reason for his impromptu visit. As he shifted awkwardly to his other foot and cleared his throat, you realized you had never seen him look so unsure of himself.

“May I come in?”

Part of you wanted to slam the door in his face, but a bigger part of you was curious to know why your former boss had shown up at your door unannounced at ten thirty at night. Letting out a deep exhale through your nose, you stepped aside to allow Hotch to pass by you. The second the door shut with a soft click and you turned around to face him, there was already a blanket of irritation tugging his features down. He didn’t even give you a chance to question his presence before speaking.

“You’re a pain in my ass.”

A dry laugh instantly escaped your lips, and a soft furrow settled between your brows while you crossed your arms over your chest.

“Wow, you’re really good at this whole apology thing, huh?”

“I’m not here to apologize. I’m here to be honest with you, and the honest truth is you’re a huge pain in my ass. You’re stubborn, emotionally reactive, not to mention combative-”

“Then why the hell did you hire me-”

“I’m not finished.”

Hotch was speaking in that firm authoritative voice he used whenever he wanted to make it crystal clear he wasn’t in the mood for bullshit or push back. Despite your burning desire to lash out again, you bit your tongue and settled for glaring at him instead.

“You are constantly acting like you have something to prove-”

“Because you make me feel like I have to, Aaron. You, and the rest of the team, make me feel like I have to prove my worth every fucking day. Do you have any idea how exhausting that is? Or how much that makes me doubt myself?”

“Do you ever stop talking long enough to listen to someone else speak?”

Tension hung in the small space of your living room like a heavy and dense fog. Hotch observed you silently for a moment as your frustrations lingered in the air while you refused to meet his eyes. There was an unreadable expression on his face, and he seemed to wait until he could tell your emotions had leveled out slightly before speaking again.

“I admired your compassion.”

Perplexity twisted up your features as you stared across your living room at Hotch.

“What?”

“You asked why I hired you. That’s why.”

He made it sound like it was the most simple statement in the world, but it only added another layer to the cryptic labyrinth you were trying to navigate.

“I don’t understand-”

“When I reviewed your case work with you in your interview, I was impressed by your attention to detail. But I was even more impressed that when I asked you questions about the victims you had worked with, you gave me personal details about them, not just black and white facts that were in their file. You remembered things about them. You humanized them instead of speaking about them like a statistic.”

All you could do was blink at him in surprise. That was the last thing you expected to come out of his mouth. Sensing that a calmness had settled over you, Hotch took a cautious step forward and continued.

“You know just as much about the victims of notorious serial killers as you do about the serial killers themselves. Every solution you have to a problem is led with people in mind, trying to minimize casualties. You speak about victims like people, not numbers or objects. You put everyone’s feelings, and safety, before your own, and that is both the best thing about you and the worst.”

The sincerity in Hotch’s voice caught you off guard, and for a moment you weren’t sure what to say. He spoke to you in the soft voice you had once overheard him speaking to Jack in on the phone, and that caused a fluttering feeling inside your stomach. But it also added to your confusion. If he thought so highly of you, then why did he treat you the way he did?

“Why are you so different with me?”

Hotch let out a deep exhale through his nose, dragging his palm down his face slowly before loosely gesturing to you with his hand.

“Because it’s my job to protect you.”

“No it isn’t.”

It was Hotch’s turn to stare at you in puzzlement, his thick brows knit together in the center of his forehead. Running a hand through your hair in slight irritation, you shook your head slowly.

“I knew exactly what I was signing up for when I applied for this job. I knew it was dangerous-”

“My job as the unit chief is to keep my team safe-”

“No, Aaron. It’s to lead us. We all knew the risks when we joined. There is only so much you can control, you of all people should know that. I know you try to look out for us, but you don’t treat the rest of the team like you treat me. And I get it, okay? I am the youngest on the team, but I’m not a child-”

“I don’t think you’re a child.”

Hotch looked even more perplexed by your words, his head tilted to the side slightly while looking over at you.

“Y/N, your age has nothing to do with the way I treat you-”

“Then what is it?”

That uncertainty was once again shining in his eyes. It looked like Hotch was struggling internally with which version of his truth he wanted to give you. The revelation about your age not being a factor in his treatment filled you with a sense of relief, but also left you with more questions than answers. After what felt like an eternity of silence, Hotch’s face softened considerably as he took a few steps closer towards you.

“I…I care about all of you, and I don’t want to see anything happen to any of you.”

The intensity of his eye contact caused a slight shiver to nip at your spine, and it seemed like there was a hidden meaning to his sentence; something deeper.

“You…care about me?”

The tiniest of smirks tugged at the edge of Hotch’s lips, and his eyes had lightened in color with pure amusement.

“You know, for one of my most brilliant profilers, you’re pretty bad at this. Should I be concerned?”

Warmth bloomed in your cheeks hearing the faint tease lingering at the edge of his question. Hotch had never been this laid back and playful with you before. It almost sounded like he was…flirting?

Your eyes widened slightly while staring up at him, an overly dramatic gasp leaving your lips.

“Was that…a joke? Did you just make a joke? Are you feeling alright? Should I call a doctor?”

Deciding to test the waters, you brought your hand up to place the back of it against his forehead before moving it downwards to place against his cheek, as if you were checking his temperature. All of a sudden, a huge tooth bearing grin stretched across his lips, and your breath caught in your throat.

He was smiling.

Aaron Hotchner was smiling.

He gently grasped your wrist in his large hand, his grin fading to a miniscule smirk while his gaze became a little more intense.

“Actually, smartass, I’m having a bit of a rough night. One of my best profilers quit on me earlier. Although in her defense, I was kind of being a dick.”

“Kind of?”

“Don’t push it. I’m already doing something I normally don’t.”

“Which is?”

“Begging for forgiveness.”

Hotch hadn’t let go of your wrist, and either your mind was playing tricks on you, or he had somehow gotten closer. There was barely a centimeter separating your chests. Him telling you not to push it only made you want to do it that much more, and since you had already technically quit, you decided to throw caution to the wind.

“I don’t hear any begging.”

The mirth in Hotch’s eyes darkened into something you hadn’t seen before, and for a moment you were nervous that you had crossed a line. It felt like he was staring directly into your soul, searching for some answer that would determine his next move.

“You are by far the most frustrating woman I have ever met.”

Woman.

Hotch thought of you as a woman, and that caused a bright grin to stretch across your lips.

“Well, you’re no ray of sunshine either, but I still like you.”

Hotch’s grasp on your wrist tightened slightly at the end of your sentence, and a look of surprise flashed across his face before his eyes returned to that darkened look you couldn’t decipher.

“Is that so?”

His voice was low, but firm, and the sultriness of it nestled comfortably between your inner thighs. All you could do was subtly nod while staring up at him, watching as he leaned in meticulously and painfully slow.

“If I’m reading this wrong-”

“If you’re reading this wrong, you’re a terrible profiler.”

You weren’t one to wait for action, so before he could respond, you reached up to grab onto the back of Hotch’s neck and pulled him down to press your lips against his in a tentative kiss. At first he tensed up, but then you felt his body physically relax, and a soft hum sounded in your throat when he snaked his arm around your waist. Reluctantly pulling away, he gently brushed his nose against yours and whispered.

“So, I’ll see you in the office Monday?”

“Mm, no.”

Hotch pulled back so he could stare down at you in pure perplexity, and you grinned at his facial expression.

“No?”

“I’m suspended, remember? Three weeks, I think it was?”

Hotch’s lips formed into a thin line as he stared down at you, the amusement previously lingering in his eyes completely gone. You couldn’t help but laugh, lightly shoving him away from you with your palms against his chest.

“Hey, you decided my sentence.”

“You were being a brat-”

“And now this brat has a three week vacation. I’ve been meaning to take a trip anyway-”

“Actually, I haven’t filed any paperwork, so you’re not officially suspended, and you’re still a current employee. I’ll see you on Monday, Agent Y/L/N.”

The demanding tone of his voice made you bite down on your bottom lip, and you leaned back against your kitchen island while arching one of your brows in challenge and crossing your arms across your chest with a playful smirk on your lips.

“You don’t wanna see me before that, sir?”

The way you used his title clearly had an affect on him, and you suddenly realized that the emotion eclipsing his eyes was pure lust. He slowly reached his hand up to tug at the loose knot on his tie until it came undone around his neck completely, and he slowly approached you with a wolfish grin.

“Why do you think I’m here?”

tags: @mars-rants-a-lot @ninejlovebot @oscarisaacsleftknee

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x f!reader #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner request #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds request

3K notes · View notes

14buddy22 · 8 months

Note

hiii can you do hotch with a “you came, you called” situation maybe not like a couple tho. maybe exes or mutual pining that they don’t realize <3

Decided to make them exes in this one... Don't hate me... BTW, I'm sorry this took so long. Thanks for requesting anon ! ily

Your phone ringing in the middle of the night was not something you or your husband expected.

"Y/n, your phone."

You picked it up, answering with a groggy, "Hello."

You were half asleep, not even seeing who was calling you. You're sure it was important though, your closest friends and family knew that you loved your sleep and only called in the middle of the night if it was an emergency or something important.

You heard Aaron's voice with a, "you were in a deep sleep. I'm sorry. I'll let you get back to sleep."

"Aaron, where are you? Are you okay?"

As you sat up, you turned on your lamp on your side of the bed. You felt your husband's grip on you tighten, not wanting you to get up.

"I just, I kinda needed to hear your voice. I'm sorry. Tell Kevin I'm sorry for waking him up."

"Aar."

As he hung up, you weren't sure what was going on. But he called. No questions asked, you need to go over there and check in on him. You knew the anniversary of Haley's death was coming up next week. You knew it was a tough week for him and Jack, so you always tried to be there when you could.

You put on a pair of running shorts and decided to keep your husband's t-shirt on. Your husband sat up, following you into the bathroom as you brushed your teeth.

"Do you want to go with, Kev?"

"I have to be up in a couple hours to get ready for a meeting at work so I'm going to head back to bed. I know it's a tough week for Aaron and Jack. Let's have dinner with them this week? Jack loves his Uncle Kev."

"He sure does, just like I love him."

You kissed your husband and he said, "Tell Aaron I said hi, give Jack a big hug for me in the morning."

"I will. I love you. Thank you for letting me be a good friend."

"It's one of the reasons why I love you."

"I promise I'll make it up to you. Maybe stop by the office, you can have dessert before lunch?"

"I'd really like that."

Your husband winked and then kissed you again. As you made your way out of the house and into your car, you drove to Aaron's, making a pit stop at the gas station to pick up a tub of his favorite ice cream.

When you got to his apartment, you pulled out the spare key he gave you, but decided to knock instead. You didn't want to be shot by an FBI agent in the middle of the night.

You heard rustling on the other side and you said, "Put the gun away, Aaron. It's just me."

When he unlocked the door, he stood there, dumbfounded.

"You came."

"You called, Aar."

You hugged him and then moved to lock the door behind you. You handed him ice cream and you said, "For the sake of old times?"

Aaron stood there, amazed how you, the one he let get away, would still drop over and come over when he needed someone.

As he turned on a movie, you grabbed two spoons from the drawer and made your way to sit on the couch.

"So, will you tell me why you called?"

"I just, I feel like shit. It's going to be 10 years since Haley passed. She should be here."

You knew his insecurities with Haley. You knew how he wanted a second chance at love with her. You knew that he blamed himself for her death even though it wasn't his fault. There was a point last year where Jack had snapped at Aaron over something and blamed him for Haley being dead.

That wasn't good for both of the Hotchner boys. That took a lot of talking with Kevin and Jack as much as it did with you and Aaron.

Where did you fit into their lives? How was your husband so relaxed with you going over to another man's apartment in the middle of the night just by one phone call?

Well, you and Aaron go way back. You were friends with Penelope. Penelope introduced you to Aaron and you both hit it off. You two decided that you were just better as friends, and he became your best friend. He learned all there was. You were there when Jack was born, you were Jack's godmother, you were there for Aaron when he was getting divorced, you were there when Jack and Haley went into protective custody.

You only dated for a few months, which isn't long, but it felt like you had dated him a life time. You had the platonic relationship, although he was romantic.

Aaron introduced you to Kevin. They worked at the same law firm as interns. Aaron felt dumb knowing that he was the one who introduced you to who is your now husband, but he just wanted you to be happy. He wanted you in his life and you were, so he was happy too.

"Aar, when I called after my break-up with Kevin, you came. No questions asked."

"Yeah, but maybe I shouldn't have, I was the reason you two got back together, and I lost my chance with you again."

"You had your chance with me. Remember, we decided we were going to be best friends instead, and we are. It works, don't you agree?"

"It does. I just was a fool. I just wanted you to be happy. You were so heart broken when I came over that I was saying anything for you to be happy, but you're my best friend, still in my life. I love you."

"I love you, too, Aaron. You know that I'll always come when you call. Just how I always know that when I call, you'll always come."

"I will until the day I die, Y/n/n, I promise."

As you both fell asleep on the couch, both of you independently thinking about how different life would have been had you married Aaron. You'd be a step mom to Jack, have a few Hotchner babies running around instead. You were very happy with your husband, Kevin. He loved you and you loved him just as much, if not more, but deep down, in a different universe, you think it was supposed to be you and Aaron.

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner request #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotchner fluff

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cavillsbitch · 1 year

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May I please request Hotch x Fem!Reader where the reader has low self-esteem and self-worth, hiding herself away from society and thinking she is unworthy of sex or love?

Worth It

You watched Aaron in the mirror as he set two different ties against his suit to see which he would rather wear, asking you again what you thought.

“You always look good, Aaron, but I think the red.”

He nodded, setting the other tie down and getting to work with the fabric around his neck. He was getting ready for a fancy work function, a gala or dinner of come kind. You didn’t remember exactly what, you just remember the horrifying feeling your chest became overwhelmed with when he asked if you’d go with him.

You felt guilty for declining his offer, thinking about it too much, wondering if he would prefer having a more secure partner to do all of these things with. The thought of buying (or god forbid, Aaron buying you) a fancy dress that you would only wear this one time, knowing you would feel completely ridiculous, feeling everyone’s eyes on you as you sauntered in on Aaron’s arm, sticking out like a sore and sad thumb was an absolutely nightmare. You knew you’d be following him around like a lost puppy, or sitting alone as he mingled with his very important colleagues. You were so proud of him and still so awestruck that a man like him wanted to be with you, but you felt completely undeserving of being seen with him at such an event.

He turned around to you as he finished tying his tie, gesturing to you to adjust it if needed. You smiled at him, god he was so handsome. You shook away the thought of his eye wandering to the other beautiful women he would see tonight, wishing that he had someone beautiful to bring. You stood and softly flattened out his lapels and collar, straightening his tie.

“Sometimes I feel like you leave it crooked so I can fix it,” you say, smoothing the shoulders of his jacket, trying to avoid looking him in the eye, “I’m sorry you’ll be going alone tonight.”

He stopped you for a moment, grabbing your hand at his shoulder and giving it a light squeeze as he brought it to his chest. “Of course I wish you were coming with me, but I’m not upset with you, you know that, right?”

You tried to make your nod convincing, but most of your gestures like this were hopeless in the eye of your experienced profiler boyfriend. He spoke up again, “Honey, I mean it.”

You sighed, looking down at your socked feet and his very expensive dress shoes, “I know, Aaron. I just… I know you deserve to have someone to go with.”

Aaron stopped for a second, thinking about your choice of words. He is well aware of your past few relationships being on the toxic side, and he was aware that your insecurities ran deep. He felt sadness every time you denied him spending money on you or taking you out for dinner because it was unnecessary because he knew you didn’t feel that you deserved it.

The two of you haven’t been together long, only just over three months, and The L Word hadn’t been exchanged yet. You actually hadn’t even slept together yet, which was something Aaron was willing to wait for until you were ready. You felt guilty, knowing he was stressed from work and that he deserved someone who could ease that stress for him in the bedroom, he deserved to have someone to come home to who could love him the way he deserved. There were a lot of things that you wanted for Aaron that you didn’t think you could fulfill due to your insecurities. You tried, most of the time, to look past it and to put on a brave face but it didn’t always work.

He took your other hand in his, “I wanted to go with you, not just anyone. I want my friends and colleagues to see me happy with the woman I… the woman I love.”

This made you look at him with wide eyes, “What?”

He smiled, “I’m sorry, I know that was a less than romantic way of saying it, but I couldn’t help it. I love you, and I want you to know. I need you to know.”

Your eyes welled up with tears, feeling a mix of happiness and guilt. Of course you loved Aaron, he was so easy to fall for, but you would never dare admit that to him before he did to you. You felt guilty because you didn’t feel that you deserved the place in his life where he now put you. You weren’t saying anything, too many thoughts bouncing back and forth in your head, so he spoke again, “Honey, why are you crying?” His thumbs came up to gently wipe the tears coming down your face.

You sighed, shaking your head, “I don’t know. I love you too, Aaron, I really do. It’s impossible not to, it’s just… it’s hard for me. I don’t feel like I deserve those words from you.”

Aaron brought his hands gently to the sides of your head, tilting it up to meet your eyes with his. The look on his face was so genuine it made your chest tingle, “Y/N, you deserve every word. You are one of the most beautiful and supportive women I have ever met. You welcomed my son into your life, you stick around despite my insane work schedule, you are funny and so smart. You are worthy of love, and worthy of my love. I will spend every day proving that to you.”

The tears continued, and you felt yourself wanting to believe him. Before you could respond, he kissed you. This kiss was different, it was firm and passionate. You couldn’t help but melt into him as his arms came around your waist. Your hands caressed the sides of his neck as you kissed him back. For a moment, Aaron pulled away to speak in a hushed tone, “Let me show you how much I love you.”

You shook your head, “You have to go. That can wait for later or another time, it’s okay.”

You felt his hands wander lightly under the hem of your shirt. He tilted his head down to kiss your neck right beneath your ear before talking lowly “I can be late.”

“Aaron…” You were nervous about your first time with Aaron, worried that you were going to disappoint him. You also trusted him, and loved him, and knew that if you felt nervous that he would be there to guide you through it. You took a deep breath, “…I don’t know if I’m ready.”

Your eyes were closed, not able to look him in the eye as his forehead rested against yours. He rubbed a hand up and down your side, “If that’s the case, Y/N, then we don’t have to. I just need you to understand how much love you deserve, even if you don’t believe me.”

You opened your eyes, and met his. He was so ready to give himself to you fully, and you were standing in his way, literally. Another deep breath and a collection of your thoughts was what you needed, plus, he spoke again.

“You have no idea how badly I want to make you feel good, how good I can make you feel…”

For some reason, this made your skin hot and your breath hitch. Men you’d dated before hadn’t been like Aaron. You’d slept with other men before, men who’d wanted to use you to get off, men who didn’t care about your pleasure, forcing you to believe you didn’t deserve it. However, you couldn’t help but be so painfully attracted to him. You fantasized about your own boyfriend more than you dared to admit, and this was the moment for you to take what you wanted if you ever had it.

“I… I want you, Aaron, I do… I’m just n-nervous.”

Aaron shook his head and kissed your forehead, “You have nothing to be nervous about. If you want to stop, just tell me and I will stop,” he kissed you, lifting your shirt over your head and kissing you again. As he was shrugging off his suit jacket, you broke the kiss.

“What about your thing? You’re going to be so late…” You could barely make the end of the sentence as his hands trailed up your bare back to unhook your bra, which he did very adeptly.

“You’re worth it.”

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #criminal minds #hotch #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #criminal minds fanfic #request #aaron hotchner request

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yourmomxx · 6 months

Note

i wanted to request something sweet with my man aaron hotchner. like r and him work at the bau but their relationship is a secret until r kiss him on accident because shes excited about something!!! i hope this make sense idk!

thanks bestie have a great week!

i’m loving me some babygirl aaron hotchner honestly, i hope you like how this turned out!!

The office lights were blinding.

Like clinically cold balls of headlights that were penetrating through your skull, buzzing at an abnormally high frequence consistently.

You groaned inwardly and pressed the balls of your hands deep into your eyesockets, anything to just make that stupid headache go away so you could continue filing your reports that laid unedited on your desk.

You tapped the head of your pen vigorously against the desk top to jog a flow of words for you to write down.

With your hand supporting your head, you didn't notice a figure approaching you out of the corner of your eye.

"Hey." The tone of Aaron Hotchner's voice was soft and warm, but you still couldn't help but jump at the unexpected presence so near next to you.

You sighed when you noticed it was him, and leaned your head on your hand again. "Hey."

Aaron threw a look on you, then your files, and then your hunched figure again.

His gaze softened.

"Why don't you go home?" He suggested. You opened your mouth to openly protest, but Aaron cut you off before you even started talking.

"You need the rest," He made it clear to you, "and I'm sure Jack would love if you read him a story before bedtime."

You threw him a look. "You can't just lure me home using your son. That's not fair game."

The corners of Aaron's mouth twitched and he tilted his head.

You sighed. "Even if I wanted to go home," You said, "This paperwork won't finish itself."

Aaron moved closer to you and threw a glance over your shoulder, one hand supporting his weight on your desk as he leaned over your body.

"Let me do it," He offered.

You turned to look at him. "I can't ask that of you."

Aaron straightened up. "You're not asking, I'm offering."

Carefully, he pulled your pen out of your hand and put it back into its designated holder with multiple other ones that probably weren't even functioning anymore.

"Now," He drew out slowly, while his fingers were circling under the collar of your jacket hung over your chair, and he held it out to you, "Go home."

You threw him a doubting look. Aaron raised an eyebrow.

"I can make this an order if I want to."

You raised your hands, defeated.

"Alright, alright."

Slowly, you rolled your chair back and stood up, and accepted happily when Aaron helped you slip into the warm jacket. His hands kept steadying you at your shoulders. You closed your eyes and let your muscles relax against him for the blink of a second.

"Thank you," You muttered to him.

Aaron nodded. "Of course."

Your bag was already packed, it was a plus, as you lifted it off the floor.

"Maybe you can read Jack the book you brought him the last time," Aaron suggested. "He hasn't put it down since I showed him."

At his words, your face cracked into a huge, beaming smile.

"He actually liked it?" You hushed. Aaron nodded, smiling.

"That was my favorite book as a child, I'm so glad!"

You strode forward and pulled him closer to you in a short, but emotion-pouring kiss.

When you leaned away, Aaron smiled.

"Get home safe," He said. "Text me."

You dug out your headphones out of your bag and smiled at him.

"Always."

Then, not without throwing your lover a last kiss in your steps, you made your way out of the glass gates and left the building.

Only when the closed elevator doors put you out of his line of sight, Aaron allowed himself to finally pull out your chair and sit down.

He cracked open one of the brown files and started writing.

Only a few tables away, Emily Prentiss, David Rossi, Derek Morgan and Spencer Reid were frozen in the same position they had been in just one minute ago.

Emily opened her mouth, closed it, and opened it again.

Derek turned to Rossi. "Should we-?"

"No." The elder Agent cut him off.

Emily gestured wildly with her hands. "But they just-"

"I know, but - let's just not."

Spencer tilted his head.

Emily gave in.

They all just watched as their Unit Chief sat on your desk and filled out files that weren't his, as if it was the most normal thing on earth.

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x plus size reader #requested #answered #criminal minds x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x bau!reader #aaron hotchner x profiler!reader #aaron hotchner x y/n #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x you #aaron hotchner fluff

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klovesyall · 1 month

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Oh my. My brain is full of ideas, but I can't write.

Spencer, but it's his first time showering with his gf? Either she casually invites him to join her, or maybe she's also a member of the BAU and was injured and needs some assistance?

AN: oh absolutely hun. I wasn’t sure if you wanted nsfw or fluff so I went with fluff for a safe option. Also I’m so sorry if this lowkey sucks. This is definitely my first rodeo with writing and I know it’s not perfect but I hope you kinda like it?

OK MORE RECENT AN: im sooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry this took so long. I don’t even have an excuse. And I’m so sorry because this is ASS. But I feel bad not giving you anything so here you go

Warnings: Fluff, swearing? , talk of nakedness and stuff idk

————————————————————

Spencer had been extra protective of you ever since you got hurt. He didn’t want you to lift a single finger, even though you were perfectly capable. He made you food , carried your bags, hell- he even offered to carry you if your crutches got too annoying. All of this to say , he was willing to do anything to make you comfortable.

“Spence, I’m gonna take a shower.” You say with your back turned as you grab some pajamas out of the dresser drawer.

“What?” His voice was filled with concern, as it often was. When you turned around toward him he had the same amount of concern written on his face

“I have to shower Spencer, my hair is so dirty it looks wet.” You haven’t washed your hair in a few days, relying on dry shampoo and braided hair to get you by.

Spencer was thinking for a moment , you could tell by the way his brow furrowed slightly. He finally answers “Let me help you.”

You were slightly taken aback by his response. Spencer wasn’t usually confident enough to initiate or out right suggest anything intimate. And taking a shower together was definitely intimate. Not to say you were opposed to the idea though

“Are You Sure Spence? You do know I shower naked right?” Your tone was some what joking but also kind of not. Regardless you hear the little chuckle you love so much

“Yes I know. I dont want you to fall and get hurt any more than you already are. If you don’t want me to thats fine I just-“

You cut him off

“That would be really helpful, thank you.”

You see Spencer’s worry ease from his face and it’s replaced with a little curve of his lip

You give him a little smile before returning to grabbing your pajamas and walking to the bathroom. Spencer graciously follows you inside, locking the door behind him. When you turn to the counter , Spencer is quick to slip past you, turning on the shower for you.

“Do you take your showers warm or hot.” Spencer asks as if it’s so incredibly normal

“Uh hot I guess? It’s ok I can-“

He stops you when you begin to walk over

“Let me Take Care of you. Please.”

You sigh “you know I can do it myself.”

Spencer takes a step toward you, placing his hands on either side of your shoulders

“I know, but I don’t want to risk anything. You do so much for me and you deserve to be helped as well, especially when your injured. So please let me do this for you.” His voice is soft but you can tell how strongly he feels about this

“Ok, I’ll let you handle it.” I say

He smiles “can I take your clothes off?”

I Nod “You don’t have to ask.” You said that a lot, and it didn’t matter how many times you did. Spencer always asked

He grabbed the bottom of your shirt and you raised your arms. He pulls the shirt off your body and folds it before placing it on the counter. He does the same with your pants. Your standing only in your underwear now

“Do you want me to do the rest?” You ask

He shakes his head “turn around for me.”

You turn so your back is facing him and he unclasps your bra, sliding it down your arms until it hits the floor. He hooks a finger under your underwear on either side of you, pulling them down and helping you step out of them. He smiles when he meets your eyes again

“See something you like pretty boy?” You raise an eye brow in a teasing manner.

“Always.” He replies before walking you over to the shower. Holding his hand, you slowly take a step inside until your under the water. Once inside , Spencer takes a step back and sheds his clothes as well before joining you in the shower.

Spencer had ensured that you had a shower bench installed into the bathroom you shared when you moved in together. He said it was for safety reasons but, you still wondered if it might be for other things.

“Sit.” Spencer says, leading you to the bench.

When you sit down he detaches the shower head and wets your hair. When it’s what he considers wet enough, he lathers shampoo into his hands and begins to massage it into your scalp.

This man has very capable hands, many uses. And washing your hair just got added to the list of them. You close your eyes from a moment letting out a contended sigh

“Feel good sweetheart?” Spencer asks gently

“Mhm, definitely.” You reply, barely opening your eyes.

Spencer rinses out the shampoo and conditions your hair. He helps you wash off and when you finally stand , you wrap your arms around his neck. His hands lace around your waist

“Thank you Spencer, you’re an angel.” You say pressing little kisses to his jaw. You can see the blush creeping on Spencer’s face.

“You’re welcome, I’m always happy to help you.” He says peering down at you.

The two of you exit the shower. Wrapping towels around your selves and getting dressed- well Spencer refuses to let you dress your self so he helps you. He even blow drys your hair for you because he knows you don’t like going to bed with it wet.

————————————————————

You lay in bed on your side facing him as he looks back at you. You reach out and brush a strand of his hair out of his eyes.

“You should stay home tomorrow.” Spencer says breaking the silence.

“Absolutely not. I’m perfectly capable of going into work. Plus Hotch would have my head if I didn’t go.” You say and Spencer sighs

“I don’t like the idea of you out on the field” he says once again with concern

“You’ll be with me. I’ll be fine.”

He sits up “I don’t want you to be fine I want you to be healthy.”

You sit up and scoot close to him “Spencer I’m going to work. If it makes you feel better I’ll stay back with Penelope and help her.”

Spencer relaxes a little “yea. Ok that makes me feel better. But don’t go doing anything stupid. That means no trying to entertain Penelope with” Spencer throws up air quotes “crutch tricks”

You groan and lay back down “whatever you say.”

You can hear Spencer’s little laugh as he turns off the lamp.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #criminal minds #aaron hotchner #x reader #fluff #i can’t write #idk how to tag this #foryou #dr spencer reid #writing prompt #request #white guys

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katebeckets · 3 months

Text

gif request meme

@unorthodox-oblivion asked any fandom + most heartbreaking scene ⤷ Criminal Minds 5x09, "100"

#tw flashing gif #tw blood #gif request meme #criminal minds #cmedit #criminalmindsedit #aaron hotchner #jack hotchner #haley hotchner #george foyet #crimescenesource #smallscreensource #filmtvcentral #userspencereid #userairi #tuserleah #anyway i'm fine lol #also there are a ton of heartbreaking scenes in cm but i went with this one

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hotchfiles · 3 months

Note

instead of hotch being protective what about bau!girly standing her ground when a reporter flirts with her man

you knew better than to be jealous. aaron was more than loyal to you, more than faithful, to betray, to cheat, those were not things even in his vocabulary, definitely not in his moral code. but the thing is, you weren't jealous, you were baffled, to say the least. just before the press conference the woman you had your eyes fiercely glued on right now saw aaron gripping on your waist and placing a kiss on your forehead as you wished him good luck. she knew.

she knew very well she wasn't flirting with a single man, and she proved it every time she touched his arm after the cameras shut off, her eyes betraying her as she looked at you for few seconds at a time.

aaron had already told her he was busy and needed to leave, but she was insisting on keeping the one sided conversation going, taking advantage of his politeness and the fact he couldn't be rude to news reporters, he couldn't misrepresent the fbi.

luckily. or unluckily for him, he decided to date someone not as preoccupied with the bureau's image, so after the second time he tried to leave and the reporter held him by the wrist, you stepped in, gently taking her hand from him.

"for a news reporter you're really slow on catching on, huh?" your voice and the smile you gave her sickly sweet, aaron giving you his best i'm still your boss do not do this look, even if he knew you well enough to see it was a lost cause.

"excuse me!?" her eyes finally gave attention to anyone else rather than hotchner, giving you her best offended expression. it was pitiful, to try and conceal her true intentions from an experienced profiler, really.

"sweetie, this man is not interested in you. and we have a job to do here, so get off of him, will ya? jesus." you shook your head at her, not giving her time to try anything else, pulling aaron with you by the end of the sleeve of his blazer.

in other occasions he might have apologized for your behavior, but he was indeed bothered and he wanted to leave just as much as you wanted to take him out of there. it was nice to be the protected one at times. and it was cute to see you jealous.

"what about the whole too mature to be jealous talk we had months ago?" he teases you, hugging you sideways.

"hotchner, don't try me, i could've arrested her, i was completely sane and controlled." you glanced up to him, met with his very known smile, lips lightly turned as he shook his head at you.

"arrested her in what grounds!?"

"trespassing federal property! i'm a federal agent and she was touching my property!" you're obviously making fun of the situation now, but your face looks dead serious and you're using your most threatening voice tone.

"terrible, awful, jealous thing you." aaron laughs and you mock his list of adjectives directed at you, he opens the door of the suv so you can get on the passenger seat, and he puts the seat belt on you, kissing you tenderly right after. "i love you."

"love you too."

#today you walk free from your crimes bc this was the PERFECT request jo #aaron x reader #aaron x you #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds x reader

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ssaaaronmontgomery · 10 months

Note

Pregnant BAU Reader goes into labor and panics about the child not having a father, but then realises Hotch is right there with them making it feel OK.

Basically reader realising their boss will be the closest thing their kid has to a dad and how lucky the kid is to have that. Can be platonic or romantic 🥰 💝

Always There

Warnings: Pregnancy, fluff, nervous reader, Hotch being a sweetheart 🥹🫶, if I missed any please let me know!

Word count: 1k

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x pregnant!bau!reader

A/n: Yes yes 🥹🥹. I love this so much and I loved writing it!! I hope it is to your satisfaction and that you enjoy it<3. This was not proofread so I apologise if there are any mistakes!

Forever tags: @greg-montgomery @boredelle @hotchsdoormat @ssahotchnerr @criminalskies @beardedhotchh @hotchnerbau @mrs-ssa-hotch @ssamorganhotchner

Going into labour three weeks before your due date wasn't really part of the plan and you'd been so busy with work that you hadn't really considered the possibility. Though Hotch had apparently taken this into consideration because a number of weeks ago he'd assigned you to desk work only. You hadn't even been able to travel with the team.

Going into labour was already scary enough on its own. But what made it worse was that your baby's father was not in the picture whatsoever and not having someone you know and feel safe with during this experience scared you even more. It terrified you if you were being completely honest with yourself.

You're sitting at your desk when everything starts and you don't know what to do. Well, you know what to do but in the moment everything flies out of your head and now you're starting to go into panic mode. You hadn't even realised JJ and Spencer saw what was happening or when JJ appeared at your side as Reid went to get Hotch.

Then you hear Aaron saying your name as you hold your hand on your stomach. Looking up at him from your seated position he's looking at you with concern. "Y/n? Hey we've gotta get you to the hospital, okay?" His hand is on your shoulder.

"Hotch, I'm scared. I- I can't do this by myself. I always thought I could, but I can't-"

"Y/n, you're not alone, okay? I'll be there if you'd like that. The team is here for you too." He gives your shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

Of course he would be there.

He was always there. He always helped you. Especially when you announced your pregnancy. He helped you set up your nursery. Putting the crib together. Painting the walls. Putting the new furniture in the room. He helped put your hospital bag together. He was always there for you whenever you were feeling scared or anxious about anything but especially the pregnancy. He was just there. So you shouldn't be surprised that he wants to be there for you through this part of it too.

He's already been such a father figure to your child and they haven't even been born yet.

There's always been some sort of romantic aura surrounding your relationship with him but nothing had ever happened. You were pretty sure it was because Aaron didn't want to overstep, but you weren't really sure. Whatever was there, you both knew it. You just never had a conversation about it. Although now isn't really the time to have that talk.

"I'd like that. Please." You have a pleading look in your eyes Aaron gives you a small smile. He tries to hug you as best as he can considering the obstacle your bump has created.

Before you know it you're being rushed to the hospital.

A number of hours go by and in true Aaron fashion, he was with you for it all. He did his best to keep you calm and comfortable given the situation. Honestly, anything he did helped you quite a bit. You know if he hadn't been there you'd have been a wreck but having Aaron with you through it was the best thing you could have asked for and you don't know what you would have done if he wasn't there.

You were holding your baby in your arms for the first time now and it was bringing you so much joy. It felt somewhat surreal. But it was incredible.

Looking up with a grin on your face you're met with the same expression on Aaron's face as he looks at you with your little love.

"May I?" Aaron asks as he holds his arms out. He wants to hold the baby. You knew he did just from the look on his face. You smile even brighter and nod as you both carefully maneuver the tiny human into his huge arms. He's immediately grinning impossibly bigger. He looks just as happy now as he does when he has Jack in his arms.

"Hi little one. You're adorable, you know that? You have so many people here to meet you. They're all excited to welcome you to the BAU family. And your momma, she's wonderful. She loves you so much. She loves you and I know she'll give you everything she's got. And I'll always be here for you too if you're okay with that." Aaron looks like he's got love just pouring out of him as he says all of this to your baby and when he does, you know he means it. You know he already loves this child like his own. He's been there for many of those things. Even going to some of the doctor's appointments with you and holding your hand during them. He kept snacks for you in a specific drawer in his desk just for you.

Everything feels so overwhelming for you, not in a bad way but in the best way. It brings tears of joy to your eyes and Hotch notices immediately, of course he's concerned.

"Are you okay? Can I get you something? Do you want to hold-"

You cut off his questions by shaking your head "No. No, I'm fine. I'm just happy. Hold the baby as long as you want. But I will want my child back before you leave." He chuckles a little and looks back down at the small life in his arms and looks back up at you.

"Why would I leave? I would like to stay, but only if that's okay with you. I want to be here." His voice is soft and genuine. It only makes those tears spill over and stream down your cheeks. All you can manage is a nod as you wipe your tears away.

"What about Jack?"

"He's having a sleepover at Jessica's. And I'm sure he'd like to meet this one." He looks back down at the sleeping baby and you notice that his smile hasn't left once.

You don't know it yet but when he had said he wants to stay he doesn't just mean he wants to stay at the hospital with you. He means he wants to stay with you and your little one indefinitely. But that's something you find out later.

#anon🩶#aaron hotchner #hotch #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #criminal minds #hotchner #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x pregnant!reader #aaron hotchner fluff #cw pregnancy #hotch🌜#anon request #mon answers 🩷#mon posts 🩷

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headkiss · 1 year

Text

steady hand

pairing: aaron hotchner x bau!reader

summary: hotch catches you at the worst times, but you’re not mad about it. or: 4 times you need hotch’s help +1 time he needs yours.

word count: 6.1k

warnings: probably very inaccurate descriptions of r’s job (it’s for the plot, okay??), shy!reader, a very small injury description, yearning (?), first kiss, fluff !!!

a/n: hiiiii this is my very first hotch fic (gasp) so i hope i did okay!!! i’m excited to be writing for him and i have enjoyed it so far and i hope you will too!!! please please let me know what you think and if you’d want to see more of him from me <33

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People are usually impressed when you tell them you work at the BAU.

Which, you won’t lie, is something to be proud of, but their first thought is always that you’re doing something big and solving cases. They ask you if you were there when this case was solved or when that killer was caught.

Then there’s the nodding and dissipation of their excitement when you explain that you work a desk job there. Organize files, write reports, that sort of thing. That is a lot less impressive to most.

You’re no Agent Morgan, or Dr. Reid. Certainly no Agent Hotchner or Prentiss. Instead of being on the field, you spend your time fighting with a printer.

Getting the papers you needed should have been simple, a quick in and out that would have you back hiding behind your desk in minutes. Of course, the universe or something must be against you, because instead, you’ve spent at least twenty minutes trying to figure out what’s wrong.

It isn’t jammed (you’ve checked about five times to be sure) and you’re not educated in printers enough to know how to fix whatever’s going on. You’re just lucky nobody else has needed it yet.

“Come on,” you mutter, trying to pull it away from the wall to get a better look.

You’re sure there’s stress sweat building on your forehead. The last thing you want to do is ask someone for help, to make yourself too visible in this place full of important, intimidating people. You’d rather struggle on your own for now.

You make sure that the thing is plugged in (it is) and then check if it’s jammed. Again.

“Piece of shit,” you’re mumbling at the thing, leaning over it looking for anything out of place.

That’s when you hear someone clear their throat behind you. The sound has you jumping, your knuckles smacking against the wall where your hand had been wedged between it and the printer. You turn around to find Agent Hotchner.

He’d been walking by the printer room when he heard the grumbled curse words. Peeking inside, he’d been pleasantly surprised to find you fussing over the printer. He bit back a chuckle before making his presence known.

You tug your skirt down where it’d ridden up, fiddling with the hem as you try to push down your embarrassment. Of course he’d be the one to see you, in his crisp suit and all. He’s leaning a shoulder against the doorframe, his arms crossed loosely. You swallow and try not to look at his biceps.

“Sorry, sir. The printer doesn’t seem to be, um, printing.”

“I’m assuming that’s why you were fighting with it.”

You fight a wince, “you heard that?”

“Heard what?” He asks, though by the twitch of his lips, you know that he’s well aware of what you’re talking about. He then gestures at the cause of your issues behind you, “it’s not jammed, is it?”

“I don’t think so. It wasn’t when I checked, at least.”

You’re trying not to act as nervous as you are. You don’t think you’ve ever really spoken to Agent Hotchner, save for small ‘hello’s and that one time you apologized for bumping into him. He’s handsome—you’ve always thought so—and, more importantly, he’s basically your boss.

“Let me take a look,” he says, walking over. You step aside, staying out of the way.

“It’s alright,” you start as he looks over it, “I’m sure you have much more important things to do than fix a printer, sir.”

Hotch’s eyes flick over to where you stand, a hand still fiddling with the hem of your skirt, your hair a little messy, your eyes a little wide and worried. You look pretty, he thinks. And sure, he does have things he should be doing instead of trying to fix this printer, but he doesn’t really care.

“Don’t worry about that,” he tells you.

He looks back to the printer, and he seems pretty convinced about trying to help, so you drop it.

While he’s distracted, you take the opportunity to look at his profile. The slope of his nose, the cut of his jaw, the way his brows are pinched a little in focus. It’s unfair, you think, for him to be smart and brave, and be so good-looking on top of it all.

Like he’d heard your thoughts, felt your gaze, he looks over at you again. You turn your eyes toward the floor quickly.

It’s a couple of minutes before anyone speaks. You, staring at the carpet until your vision goes a little fuzzy. Hotch, pushing buttons and flicking switches trying to figure out whatever was going on with the damn printer.

Then, the sound of the ink swiping over the pages, the papers spitting from the printer. You look over at it, mouth slightly parted. What can’t he do?

The sound of your name has your eyes snapping up to his. It’s yet another surprise, him knowing your name. You’re not that important, in the grand scheme of things at the BAU, in the world, really. Someone meant to stay hidden in the background. And still, he knows your name.

“It should be fine now,” he says, grabbing your papers from the cartridge and handing them to you as he stands up straight. “Let me know if it gives you trouble again.”

You grab the pages from him slowly, still shocked at the whole exchange. Your fingers brush against his as you do. “I- Thank you, sir.”

He nods, moving towards the hall. He pauses in the doorway, turning back towards you. “Hotch is fine.”

“Sorry?”

“You keep calling me ‘sir.’ You don’t have to. Just Hotch is fine.”

“Right. Sorry, sir- I mean, Hotch,” you test it out. “Thank you again.”

Yes, Hotch thinks, he likes you saying his name a whole lot more. He sends you a kind smile, “no problem.”

Hotch walks away, probably towards his office where he has very important things to do. Stuff that was surely delayed because he paused to help you. You stare at the doorway for a minute, until you give yourself a papercut and look down at it.

Aaron Hotchner knows who you are.

You’re two shitty coffees deep so far, your report open on your desk, the typing bar blinking on the screen of your computer.

There’s pages to go, though you’re not sure how many. You’ve been doing the sort of mindless, robot typing you do when you’re tired. When you’re preoccupied with trying not to glance in the direction of Hotch’s office.

The team got back sometime last night, long after you’d already gone home. From somewhere in Indiana, you think. You’re not sure how they do it, flying about and still coming into the office. You’re tired and you can’t even remember the last time you’ve been on a plane. Add the crime fighting and you’d be a goner.

Blinking yourself from your thoughts, you look back at the blank pages spread out in front of you. It’s not unusual for you to be missing pieces that you need to complete things, it’s just inconvenient. You always end up having to ask someone for the files you need, and then you feel like a burden.

It’s stupid, but in a place full of important people, it’s easy to feel like you’re just in the way.

Anyway, it’s your job, so you push away from your desk and stand, tugging the sleeves of your sweater over your hands.

Your first thought is to go to Reid. As far as friendship goes, you’d consider yourself closest to that definition with him. He’s also the least intimidating of the bunch, probably because you see the most of yourself in him.

You find him in the kitchen with Agent Jareau, both holding their own mugs, probably filled with the same coffee as the one that sits on your desk. You knock gently on the door even though it’s open.

“Hi, sorry to bother you. I was just wondering if either of you have the files from that case you worked a couple weeks back. The one in Ohio,” you shuffle on your feet under their gaze. “I need them for this report.”

“Hey,” Reid speaks first, smiling kindly, “I don’t remember keeping them, but I can double check in my desk if you would like.”

“Oh, that’s okay. You don’t have to do that, I’m sure I’ll find them somewhere.”

You’re about to head out the door when Agent Jareau stops you, “wait, I’m pretty sure Hotch has them. I can go ask him for you.”

It’s silly to feel nervous talking to them, especially when nobody’s ever been anything but nice to you. A little bit of the twist in your gut comes undone.

“No, no. I’ll go ask him if he isn’t busy, thank you though.”

“You should be fine, the door’s open,” she tells you.

You nod, sending the both of them a smile you hope doesn’t look awkward. “Thanks again.”

Their voices picking up their conversation follow you out the door. You cross the space, saying small ‘hello’s to Agent Morgan and Agent Prentiss when they greet you. You try to ignore the prickle of eyes on you as you climb the steps and head to Hotch’s office.

His jacket is draped across the back of his chair, his sleeves rolled up on his forearms. It’s probably the most disheveled you’ve ever seen him, and he’s only missing a single layer. You look away from his arms when he says your name.

Hotch had his head bent, looking over a case when he’d heard footsteps, and he’d been glad to find you standing in his doorway. You work in the same place, yet he barely sees you. That’s probably why something lightens in his chest every time he does. The rarity, that’s all.

“Is this a bad time?” You ask.

“Not at all,” he leans back in his chair, “what can I do for you?”

“I’m really sorry to bother you, sir-”

“Hotch,” he reminds gently. His voice is easy, a hum that you think would sound good no matter what he was saying.

“Right, sorry. Hotch. I was just looking for some files that I need from a case you guys had for this report.”

“You’re gonna have to be more specific than that.”

Then, he smiles in that way that Aaron Hotchner so often does. A small twitch of his lips, a lift in the corners. One that you probably wouldn’t have caught if you weren’t paying so much attention. One that feels sort of like a gift.

You shake your head at yourself and elaborate, “the Ohio case. Three weeks ago, I think. I asked Agent Jareau, but she said you had them, so…”

Hotch wants to reassure you, but he’s not sure how to do it without standing up and letting himself grab your hand and squeeze it the way he’d like. And he can’t do that, not when you’re already nervous. Not when he’s not sure he could hold back after one touch.

“It’s no problem,” he opens one of his drawers, flips through folders until he finds what you’re looking for.

He stands up and walks around his desk until he’s in front of you, and he lets his gaze flick over your face while he has the chance. Your eyes find his easily, and you hope he can’t hear the catch in your breath.

Aaron isn’t usually so quiet with his affections, but that’s because he’s never found himself feeling this way at work. He wishes your desk was on his way to his office, just so he’d have an excuse to stop and talk to you. He makes sure never to use your favorite mug from the cupboard, just so you’ll be more likely to have it.

Hotch clears his throat, “here they are.”

He holds up the folder between you, his hand holding it loosely, the other hanging by his side. His fingers twitch.

You’re embarrassingly distracted by his exposed forearms, eyes trailing from his hand to the skin of his arm, to the way his shirt is tight where the sleeves are rolled. Then, it’s the color of his tie today, the bob of his Adam’s apple when he swallows.

His hand reaching for yours is enough to erase everything else. He lifts it and places the folder in your hold for you. Your skin burns even when he pulls away.

“You alright?” He asks. Probably because you’d been staring at him like a weirdo.

Get it together.

“Yeah. Yes, sorry. Just sort of spacey today, I guess.”

When you look back to his face, there’s nothing but a sort of softness in his eyes you can’t identify. He smiles at you, and for the second time, you feel like you’ve won something.

“Is that what you needed?” He asks.

You open the folder and peek inside. You find exactly what you’d been looking for, not that you’re surprised. Hotch knew what you’d meant and you didn’t doubt that.

“It is. Thank you, Hotch,” you grin lightly when you get that part right. “I’ll get out of your way.”

“You’re not in my way.”

Hotch says the words like he’d known you needed to hear them, like he’d known what runs through your mind so often, like he can read you. He probably can, you think. He is a profiler after all.

Still, the words make your heart do a stupid little jump.

“I’ll bring them back when I’m done,” you say.

“No rush. They’ll just be going back in the drawer anyway.”

“Well, thank you again.”

“It’s no problem, really.”

Hotch watches you walk back to your desk with your head down. Looking at the folder in your hand, he thinks, at least it’s an excuse for you to come see him again.

Hotch isn’t in his office when you return the files.

Since you can’t thank him in person—assuming he’s off with the team somewhere saving lives—you leave a sticky note on top of the folder. You drop it on his desk and leave before you second-guess yourself and rip the note off.

You can’t help but think that the office feels sort of empty without the team there. Without Hotch there. It’s how it is most days, so you’re not sure why the absence feels so present now. You shake it off.

The day passes by, then your drive home, and the rest of your night, too. Through it all, you can’t stop wondering what Hotch is doing, wherever he is. Hoping he’s safe.

You’re certainly not expecting to see him the next day, back so soon, but you can’t say you’re upset about it. It’s a brief glance, him walking into his office, the rest of the team and their chatter following, but it’s enough to make your work seem less tiring for some reason.

It was a quick case, and Aaron was glad to at least get a couple of hours of sleep in before coming into the office. When he sits at his desk, the first thing he notices is the folder you’ve left there. The small note in your handwriting.

‘Thank you :)’

He peels the note away and folds it up. Without thinking, it ends up tucked into the inside pocket of his jacket. It’s a simple piece of paper, but it’s heavy where it sits. He rubs a hand over the pocket where the note is and gets to work.

It’s not until a couple of hours later that Hotch ends up leaving his office. Conveniently, in the direction of your desk.

You’ve been burying yourself in your work, your leg bouncing nonstop, your nose inches away from the pages on your desk, your chair pushed in as close as it’ll go. You have to, because if you take a break, if you look away, your eyes will search for Hotch, and you don’t really want to think about what that means right now.

About the ache in your chest when he’s gone, the urge to go ask him a stupid question just to talk to him. It’s awful.

The pen you’re using suddenly runs out of ink, and it makes you pause long enough to feel a cramp in your hand. You sit up and huff, pulling your drawer open and digging around for another pen. Your name in Hotch’s voice has you shutting the drawer and spinning quickly.

It’s just your luck that your shirt gets caught, that the sound of the rip is too loud to play off or ignore.

“Oh gosh,” you whisper, looking down at the damage.

It’s a cheap shirt, you shouldn’t be surprised, but it’s worse than you’d expected. This is what you get for sitting so damn close. The side seam is split, and if you move too much, your bra would probably be visible.

“This is so embarrassing,” you say, holding the rip shut with one hand and holding the other on your forehead. Of course this would happen to you in front of him.

Aaron’s eyes hover where your skin had been exposed, even now that you hold your shirt shut, wondering if it’d feel as soft as it looks. He can’t even remember what he came over to do or say.

He swallows and looks at your face, “do you have another?”

You shake your head, still hiding behind your hand, “no. I really, really wish I did, though.”

“I have an extra one in my go bag. If you’d like?” He hears himself say the words, and he doesn’t regret them, necessarily, but it’s clear to him that you mess with his brain. He doesn’t think straight where you’re involved.

You peek up at him, dropping your hand to your side. “Are you sure? I could probably just use some paper clips, or something.”

“Nonsense. I’ll go get it, okay? I’ll bring it to the bathroom so you can change.”

“You don’t have to-”

Your name leaves his mouth again, gentle but firm. “I’ll grab it.”

“Okay.”

You speed-walk over to the washroom and walk in, closing the door only to block out the rest of the office, who surely noticed what just happened. You’re probably never gonna live this down.

Your overthinking doesn’t get very far, because after only a minute, Hotch is knocking on the door.

“It’s just me,” he says. ‘Just,’ like that word could ever be used to describe him. “You can just open the door a crack and I’ll pass the shirt through.”

You do as he says, tugging the door open until you can see a white dress shirt (of course) in his hand. You reach out and he hands it to you easily.

“Thank you, Hotch. I’ll wash it and give it back, I promise. Sorry for this.”

“Don’t worry about it.” You can’t see his face, but you can hear the sincerity in his voice. “I mean it.”

“Thanks,” you say quietly, closing the door.

His shirt is wrinkled from being packed in his bag, and the sleeves are long when you put it on, but it smells like him and isn’t ripped so you really can’t complain. You roll the sleeves and tuck the bottom into your pants, looking in the mirror to make sure you look at least a little bit put together.

Holy shit, you think. I’m wearing Aaron Hotchner’s shirt. What world have you been living in recently? To be interacting with him more often, to be feeling this sick skip in your heartbeat whenever you do.

You toss your ripped shirt in the garbage, look up, and huff out a breath before leaving the bathroom. You’re surprised to see Hotch still standing there.

“Oh,” you nearly bump into his chest when you walk out the door, but the warmth of his hand on your shoulder steadies you. “I didn’t know you were still there, sorry.”

“You don’t need to say sorry so much, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart. You’re dreaming, surely. You pinch yourself on the inside of your arm, just in case. You don’t wake up.

“I- um,” you’re fumbling for words because he’s standing there, looking at you softly, calling you ‘sweetheart’ in that voice of his.

Aaron doesn’t know where that came from, but he’s said it and it’s happened. With the way he thinks about you, how often he does, he can’t really be surprised. Besides, seeing you get flustered because of him is absolutely worth it.

“I wanted to thank you for getting those files back to me so quickly.”

Your eyes flick over to his arm, and it’s then he realizes that his hand is still on your shoulder. He pulls it away and stuffs it in his pocket. He’s probably imagining it, but he swears his palm is tingling.

You wipe your hands over your thighs, “right. It was no problem, really. I was mostly done with my report, so… Thanks for giving them to me.”

“I’m glad to be able to help,” he says. Then he walks back to his office.

You’re standing in front of the bathroom for what’s surely an odd amount of time. Even back at your desk, you can’t shake the haze you feel, a pink tint to your vision, a flutter in your gut.

You spend the rest of your day with your nose buried in the collar of Hotch’s shirt, avoiding the gazes of your coworkers around you.

Aaron spends the rest of the day thinking about how you looked in his shirt. About how you’d look in it and nothing else. He drags a hand over his face when that pops into his head.

“You good, boss?” Morgan asks from the doorway.

“I’m fine.” He doesn’t miss the knowing smirk on Morgan’s face.

It’s very rare that Aaron leaves work at a reasonable time. So rare that he can’t remember the last time he wasn’t the last person there.

He’s used to the late nights, the empty spaces, deserted desks. Even so, it’s nice to finish up earlier than he’d expected. He looks forward to the extra sleep he’ll get, the longer time frame to decompress.

Leaving work early already felt like a small victory for the day, and he feels like he’s won something bigger when he sees you in your car, still in the parking lot.

You’d left maybe twenty minutes before Hotch, though you’d assumed he’d be leaving hours after you like he usually does. Everything was fine, normal as you bid your goodbyes to your desk neighbors, as you rode the elevator down.

The sun has started setting, and the air gets cooler as it sinks. You fish your car keys from your bag and unlock it, getting in quickly and tossing your bag onto the passenger seat.

You like your job, sometimes you love it, even, but you look forward to going home either way. You think about the warm shower you’ll take, the shitty dinner you’ll end up eating. Your lonely plans are ruined as you twist your car key in the ignition, it sputters and doesn’t start.

“No, no. Come on,” your head falls back, you huff and take the key out.

You try again, and still, no luck. And again, and once more until you’re fed up with it and drop the keys in your lap. Your head is dropped against the steering wheel, allowing yourself a moment of dramatics from your defeat.

A knock on your window startles you upright. Your heart races for reasons other than fear when you look at who it is.

Hotch stands outside, leaning towards your window with a scrunch in his brows. When he catches your eye, he steps back from your door and gives you room to open it and step out.

You shut your car door behind you and lean your back against it, “hi.”

“Hi. Sorry to scare you, but I wanted to check that you were alright?”

“It’s okay,” your arms are folded behind your back, your hands twisting. “Um, it’s nothing, just some car troubles.”

“That doesn’t sound like nothing.”

“I guess not. It won’t start for some reason. I don’t know.” If he wasn’t standing right there, you’d probably smack yourself for how unsure you sound. “You keep catching me at the worst times, Hotch.”

He disagrees. Aaron can’t think of a time where seeing you could ever be a bad thing.

“You’re fine,” he says, his voice suddenly softer, “trust me.”

Despite the bite of the wind outside, the way he speaks warms you. He’s so honest in the way he speaks, in the sense that he sounds sure, even if it isn’t necessarily vulnerable. You don’t know how he does it.

A small smile spreads on your face before you can stop it, “okay, good. And thank you for checking on me. I’ll just call a cab and figure this out tomorrow.”

There’s no way he can let you take a cab. It’s obvious that with what he does, the things he sees, he’d rather know for sure you’d be safe getting home. But then, there’s the sort of floating feeling he has when he’s around you, one he’d like to feel for a little longer if he could.

“Let me drive you.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that, really. I’ll be fine.”

He ducks his head a little, catches your eye and holds you with that soft gaze of his. “Please, it’s not a problem. For my peace of mind.”

It doesn’t take much convincing, really. You’d much rather sit in a car that probably smells like him than in the back of a cab that smells like sweat.

“For your peace of mind, then. That’d be great.”

You grab your bag from your car before following Aaron to his, where he opens the passenger door for you and makes sure your legs are tucked inside before shutting it. He jogs around the front of his car and gets in.

“Where am I taking you?” He asks, starting his car. The radio hums softly through the speakers, and Hotch reaches over to turn on the heating when he catches you shivering a little.

You tell him your address, “you don’t have to drive me if it’s out of your way, Hotch. I mean it.”

“It isn’t out of my way,” he assures you, and he could easily be lying, but you accept it anyway.

It’s quiet for a little bit, besides the odd question from Aaron for which way to turn. You take the chance to look at him as he drives, his hands on the wheel, the street lights hitting his face. Your head lulls against the seat.

“You’re finished earlier than usual today,” you say. “Not that I know your schedule, or anything, I just-”

“Sweetheart,” he stops you, a smile spreading. It’s wider than what you’ve seen at work, unguarded enough to show his teeth. It’s really pretty. “It’s alright. It’s work I can be doing at home.”

“That’s good. A change of scenery, at least.”

“Exactly.”

You’re not sure what it is that feels different now, in the car. Maybe it’s because it’s only you and him, no prying eyes in the office, no concerns about what this is, what’s allowed. It might only be you, that feels this sort of spark with him, fizzing i’m the air between you. Either way, you’ll soak it up for the duration of the ride to yours.

Maybe that’s why you’re saying, “you know, I always thought you didn’t even know who I was. Until the printer thing.”

Aaron peeks over at you, leaned in his passenger seat. You look like you belong there, like there’s always been a spot for you in his life. Even when you’d started at the BAU, when he first saw you, he felt like it was right that you were there.

Hell, he’d asked Garcia who you were and has had your name in the back of his head since.

“I’ve always liked you,” he admits. He doesn’t say he’s always known you. Liked.

“Really?” You can’t help but ask. Someone like him even noticing you seemed unfathomable. But liking you? He’s gotta be lying.

“Really. Even when you were bumping into me.”

“You remember that?”

“Yeah, I do. You were looking down at the ground, walking like you were being timed. And you had on this light pink sweater.”

Your eyes go wide, focused on his face. You had been wearing a light pink sweater that day. And he remembers all of that? You think, if you looked at yourself in the mirror right now, your eyes would be in the shape of hearts, pulsing in your pupils.

“I can’t believe you noticed all of that.”

“I notice a lot of things,” he says.

Aaron has always had his guard up around new people, has always made himself more serious at work than anywhere else. Then you came along and he had to fight to keep things that way. It makes sense that the minute he sees you outside of work his walls would crumble to dust.

It was inevitable, really.

“I’ve always liked you, too.” Then, before he can say anything, you point at your building, “it’s this one here.”

The car rolls to a stop slowly, his turn signal flashing as he pulls over by the entrance of your apartment building. He puts the car in park and turns to you fully.

“Thank you for driving me.”

“No problem, sweetheart.”

His hand reaches out before he can really think about it, fingertips featherlight over your cheekbone, sliding over to tuck your hair behind your ear. Then, like it was never there, he pulls back. There’s a glow in his fingers where they’d brushed your skin, golden.

It matches the one you feel on your cheek, sparkling.

“Get in safe, okay?”

“It’s a few feet from here to the front door, Hotch. I’ll be alright.”

He huffs softly, twin smiles on your faces. Lovesick and shy, nervous and pink-hazed all at once.

“For my peace of mind,” he says.

“Fine, then. Your peace of mind,” you reach for the door handle, tugging it and pushing the door open. You look at Hotch again, like you can’t get yourself to stop. “Thanks again.”

“See you, sweetheart.”

“Bye.”

You step out and head to your door, turning around before walking inside to give him a wave. Aaron grins and waves back, watching you walk inside.

He stays parked by the curb until he sees a light flick on a couple of floors up.

There’s a reason that Hotch is Unit Chief. He thinks quickly, keeps his head straight even with what he deals with every day. There’s also a reason his leadership has been questioned before, but never revoked.

He can be reckless, throwing himself into situations when he knows he probably should’ve waited for backup. This time, it only got him a split eyebrow and a few stitches. It’s been worse; this is nothing.

It is, however, proving to be an inconvenience. He’d gotten stitched up in the ER of whatever hospital was closest to where the team had caught their unsub. It had to be quick, from the hospital straight to the jet.

They’d told him to clean it up again and put a new bandage on it when he got back, which is what he’s trying to do now, in his office, with his laptop’s grainy camera as a mirror. He has the supplies the hospital gave him on his desk, but he can’t really see what he’s doing, and the task is taking much longer than he’d like.

His hands are a little shaky from the adrenaline of his day, and every time his arm comes up to reach his stitches, it blocks his view.

Then, he sees you walking up to his office.

Usually, you’d already be home by now, but you’d been yourself and messed up some of your paperwork, so you had to stay late to re-do it. When you catch sight of Hotch in his office, you’re not so annoyed with yourself.

You notice the things on his desk, the blood on the front of his shirt. Your feet carry you to his doorway easily. Last time you’d really spoken to him was that night in his car, and ever since, there’s been something boiling, a noticeable shift.

You tap your knuckles on his open door twice, “you okay?”

He gives up on dealing with his cut and looks at you instead, the slightly rumpled state of your clothes from a long day, the smile you wear that doesn’t exactly hide the concern in your eyes, the light from the hallway a halo around you. You’re the prettiest thing he’s ever seen.

“I’m alright. Just can't seem to do this right,” he says, gesturing to his eyebrow.

“Do you need help?”

Aaron has never been one to accept help easily, always one to do things on his own. But, when you’re offering so sweetly, when your help means your hands on his skin, how could he ever say no?

“That would be great.”

He pushes his chair back to give you room to stand in front of him. Your legs between his, leaning against the edge of his desk. His knees bump into the sides of your legs, little bursts of the kind of warmth sunlight emits on skin.

You reach for the wipes first, holding them in one hand and reaching up to his eyebrow, the other grasping his chin gently to keep his head steady.

His hand reaches up to hold your elbow. It could so easily be innocent, be almost nothing, but it feels like more. His thumb running back and forth, your face close enough to his to have your breaths mingling. It really feels like more.

“You’re here late,” he says, low and quiet.

“Spilled coffee all over my work. Had to start over. Can you believe it?” You speak just as quietly, eyes flicking from his cut down to his, just for a second.

“I can, actually. You’re sort of clumsy.”

“Hey!” He’s right, of course, but the warm chuckle he lets out is worth your dramatic gasp.

“It’s not a bad thing,” he assures you, squeezing your elbow. “I think it’s cute.”

“Well, thank you, then.”

You set the wipe aside and reach for the bandage next, placing it over his eyebrow and smoothing down the edges with a light touch. When you’re done, you pull back but don’t go far. Your hands fall from his face to grasp the edge of his desk instead.

“All done,” you say.

Aaron’s hands have shifted to your waist. His touch is so delicate, but you’d never ignore it. It might as well be bruising, the way his hands affect you.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Hotch.”

Now would be the time to walk out the door, to say ‘goodnight’ and head home, but you’re in no hurry. Not when his eyes are shining in the dimmed light of his office, soft and practically melting.

They seem to beckon you closer, and though you don’t have a reason this time, your face ends up near his, noses almost touching. It’s as far as you go, afraid you’re misreading things, afraid you’ll be wrong about this.

Hotch closes the space for you.

His chin tilts up, his mouth catching yours softly at first. His hands tighten on your waist, his lips slightly chapped and completely perfect against yours.

You think your knees might buckle, so you put your hands on his shoulders, thumbs digging into his skin, like you’re trying to make sure he’s real. You’re not sure how you manage to kiss him back but you do, and you hear the sharp intake of breath he takes when you push back.

The kiss doesn’t deepen, but it doesn’t have to. You can feel plenty in it already.

It’s not long before Hotch pulls away, leaning back in his chair and tilting his head to look up at you. He removes one of your hands from his shoulder and holds it in his.

“We shouldn’t do this here,” he says, his thumb running over your knuckles.

You look down at your feet, at his legs next to yours. The hand still on his shoulder falls to your side, suddenly feeling nervous.

“You’re right, I’m so-”

“But,” he stops your apology before you can say it. As if you’d ever need to apologize for kissing him. “I’d like to take you to dinner sometime. If you’d want that.”

You look back at his face, eyes searching. He smiles so softly at you, it’s the kind of smile you could only ever give someone you like in this way. Someone you like enough to kiss.

“I’d really like that, Hotch.”

“Good,” he stands, but his hands don’t leave you. “And sweetheart?”

“Hm?”

“Call me Aaron.”

When you test it out, he’s sure of it; his name on your lips is his absolute favorite sound.

༄

thank you so much for reading!!! please please consider reblogging if you enjoyed, it helps a whole bunch more than you’d think and would mean a lot!! <3

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chvoswxtch · 5 months

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aaron hotchner masterlist

»— anything marked with an astrik contains explicit content. minors dni.

»— all work is my own. please do not repost anywhere else without my consent.

☾ requests

→ baby.

☾ series/multiparts

→ slumber party.* / let's play.* (aaron hotchner & derek morgan & spencer reid)

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14buddy22 · 9 months

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Lanterns

WC: 5.4K // Masterlist

A/N: This was a request, but I’m choosing to leave them anonymous. Fight me.

Warnings: Haley’s death, Shooting, Death, Minor Character Death!, Pregnancy, INFANT LOSS, funerals, tiny casket, this is sad, with a twist of fluff. Chinese Lanterns, major mourning and grief.

Being at the BAU came with a lot of good things, just as it came with it’s fair share of bad. But, in your life right now, you were living on a trail of good things. You met Aaron Hotchner at the BAU. He was your unit chief, however over time, you slowly became his best friend, his girlfriend, his fiance, and now you were his wife of a year.

Being with Aaron meant a lot. It meant you weren’t always his partner in the field, he was very over protective of you. He made sure you always ate food during a case, just as he would let you cuddle into him in the hotel room at night so you’d get the best sleep.

It also meant that you were his outlet just as he was yours. If he was getting overwhelmed, he’d ask to talk to you in his office and he would be on the verge of tears by how stressed out he was, and you were there to just calm him down and hold him if he did ended up crying.

You had a built in best friend at work when you got married. It was amazing. How many people could say that the person they work with is the love of their life. Not to mention that you also got a bonus son out of it. Jack was amazing.

You knew Jack since the day he was born. You had been working with the BAU for a year before he was born. You helped plan out Haley’s babyshower. It’s funny how things would work out almost 10 years later. When Aaron and Haley got divorced, you let Aaron come stay in your apartment as you had extra space that you weren’t using. You didn’t think anything would ever happen, that’s why when you offered for him to move in with you, he agreed to it, knowing that you had a boyfriend, and that eventually both of you would hae to sell the place and move on with your lives.

Except, what happened over time is that the longer you and Aaron became roommates, the more and more chances you had to fall in love with him, and for him to fall in love with you. As you had multiple conversations on what your relationship with entail, he was finally ready to go public.

Jack was very good with you. You were his favorite BAU auntie. You and him had always been close, and you think that’s because you were Aaron’s best friend. When Aaron had a budget meeting and he was with Jack, you watched him. If Haley brought Jack into the BAU, she always stopped at your desk, asking you to watch him so she could talk to Aaron.

However, just when you were about to go public with your relationship, Foyet happened. You watched how it tore Aaron apart. He was way more stressed out, as he should have been. Just then, when you thought you’d be in the safe space of your apartment, Foyet got to Aaron. You were going to go home with him, but you promised a girls night with Penelope, Emily, and JJ, thus you all decided to stay in the confines of Penelope’s apartment.

When you saw the puddle of blood in your apartment, your heart immediately dropped into your stomach. You saw the bullet in the wall, you knew that it was Aaron’s height. You were scared, not knowing where he was, if he was alive.

After finding him in the hospital, you watched the worst thing happen to him. He had to watch his son and his ex-wife go into protective custody. He wasn’t going to be in touch with his son for God knows how long. The weeks that came after were terrible, he didn’t want to do anything. Well, he did, but he knew he couldn’t give up. He wanted his son back in his life, unharmed, he wanted the same for his ex-wife. She didn’t deserve this, neither did his son.

You spent a lot of nights crying with Aaron. He didn’t show emotion with the team around, but for you, the flood gates broke lose. He could be vulnerable in front of you. You were glad you were in his life. You were glad he had someone. You wanted Jack back safe and sound. You wanted Haley back safe and sound.

So when the heinous day came around, it happened when you were in the car with Aaron and pulled up to his house. It was a race against time. You heard the gunshots. You didn’t know it then but that feeling means you just knew. You heard him say goodbye to his wife, now he was just praying that his son was still alive.

That day would forever be engrained into yours and Aaron’s minds. You hated that Haley lost her life that day, but she saved Jack’s life, there’s no doubt about it. Shortly after Haley’s death, some good things happened in Aaron’s life.

He had you. He realized that you were the one for him, so when he decided to propose one night, he knew that if you were to say yes, he’d never let you go, that he’d protect you of every evil thing in the world. Jack was so thrilled that you were going to marry his dad. Aaron knew that having you around had been a lot easier when they lost Haley. Jack had a “mother-figure” in his life, and it was someone he already knew was going to love him like his mom did.

And it was true, you loved him so much. He was your step son. He would come to you with questions, if he was scared, for extra cuddles. Jack was amazing. He was a great bonus son that you were so happy was in your life.

It wasn’t long after you and Aaron tied the knot that you and him started talking about having a baby. His biggest fear was that you and him would bring a child into the world, but that child not growing up with both parents, that child losing his mother or father due to the nature of their job.

It was a conversation you and Aaron had had multiple times. You knew that if you and Aaron kept talking about it, you would never be able to have kids. His doubts were always the topic of having conversations, you understood all the doubts he had, but if the baby you and Aaron brought into the world had two loving parents and Jack as a big brother, that baby would be very happy. You knew you just had to get Aaron out of his head, to show him that he was already an amazing father to Jack.

It wasn’t long after that conversation when there was a case the BAU had that involved a family. The family you ended up saving had a baby about a month old, a 4 year old, and a 7 year old. Very similar to the family you were going to have with Aaron. When Aaron saw you being so gentle with the baby and the two older kids, he knew right then and there he wanted you to be a mother to more of his children.

He saw the way you cradled the baby’s head and protected the baby from the mess that was being cleaned up of the unsub. He watched as you sat with the older kids and played a game with them while feeding the baby, waiting for the parents to come get them. He was head over heels in love with you, and seeing you with kids got him going. He wanted to give you a baby, if he was the parent that were to go first, he knew that Jack and any other children you may have would be in good hands.

A few weeks later, you found yourself going to the doctor with Aaron and finding out you were pregnant. It wasn’t a surprise, nearly a shock that Aaron could knock you up on the first try. You were in awe at the way he was already so in love with the little blob of what would be your baby with Aaron.

You began crying at the sight of Aaron and the fact that this was your life. Your best friend who became your husband who was now going to be the father to your child. You couldn’t wait to start telling your BAU family. You couldn’t wait to tell Jack. He’s been asking for a baby brother or sister ever since he got into elementary school. A lot of his friends have siblings who are younger than Jack’s age and so you know Jack would be ecstatic to hear that his Dad and Mom were going to be having a baby.

The preganncy was special. It was your first pregnancy, so you didn’t know what to expect. You had many friends who had been pregnant, but you were always prepared for the auntie role, not the mom role.

You decided to give Jack an ultrasound photo because he had a little nightstand that he had decorated with photos of Haley, you, Aaron, and his BAU family. You remember saying, “Hey Jack, daddy and I got you a new photo to add to your night stand! Do you want to see?”

You felt Aaron’s hand tighten on your stomach, as you reached down to give Aaron the gift. He opened it up and saw the picture of the ultrasound. He looked at you and Aaron with a puzzled look and said, “What’s this mom and dad?”

“Well, we wanted you to have a piece of your newest sibling on the table. What do you think?”

You immediately saw Jack begin to process the words that Aaron just spoke and his eyes immediately light up, asking the question of “this is my sibling?”

You were so happy that Jack was happy. You watched him race to his nightstand and place the picture next to you, Aaron, and Jack. Aaron kissed your cheek and whispered in your ear, “Told ya he’d be happy.”

Slowly as your pregnancy went on, Jack was fantastic. He was always giving you extra cuddles when Aaron wasn’t around. That’s when you found yourself around 22 weeks pregnant. Aaron basically told you that you were on desk duty, not letting you go into the field.

You got to spend more and more time with Jack, which was great. He was a mini-version of Aaron. He always followed you around the house, he never let you lift anything and if you needed something, he wouldn’t let you get up from the couch. He would always do it. It truly was learned behavior from Aaron. Aaron was the same exact way with you.

Jack was at school, you were at home, deciding to take the day off from the BAU. You found yourself more exhausted so you told Aaron you were taking the day off, try to get some house work done. By housework, you mean by just catching up on some of your favorite TV shows.

You had been feeling off since the morning, but you didn’t know what was going on. It wasn’t until you felt a gush of water come from your legs, your water had just broke. You were only 22 weeks, too soon to bring a baby into the world.

You got in the car, making your way to the hospital. You called Aaron, you didn’t want to freak him out, but you were scared. You don’t remember any of your friends going into labor this early. You were scared, you had every right to be.

“Honey, what/s going on?”

“So, um, my water just broke, I’m at the hospital. Can you, can you please come here.”

“Of course. I’m. I’m on my way, is our baby okay?”

“I don’t-I don’t know Aaron, but I’m scared, I’m getting ready to walk in. Please hurry.”

Everything felt like it was in slow-mo. You got into a hospital room, the doctor’s quickly hooking you up to a monitor and figuring out if your son or daughter would be okay. Nobody would tell you what would happen.

You just know that a frantic Aaron had burst into your room, quickly finding you and running to your side. He hadn’t felt so nervous or sick to his stomach since the day Haley died. He didn’t want the same outcome today.

“Any updates?”

“They’re just monitoring me. I’m scared, Aaron. It’s too early. Everyone knows that.”

“Let’s just take a deep breath. I’m here. We’ll get through this.”

After a few hours later, your contractions weren’t getting any better. It was making you nervous. Your nervousness never subsided, especially when the doctor came in with the NICU team, saying that your baby boy or girl was going to be born today.

After less than an hour of pushing, you finally heard the cries of your baby. Cries meant your son or daughter was alive. It would be the most joyous sound you heard that day.

“Congrats mom and dad, it’s a boy.”

You looked at Aaron and he kissed your forehead.

“We had a boy. We have another son. We did it.”

As your baby was getting cleaned up, the NICU team took him, while your OB/GYN was taking care of you. You knew your son wasn’t out of the clear yet, he was born at 22 weeks. That’s a lot earlier than most babies. His lungs were barely developed. It scared you.

Within the next couple hours, you met your son. He was beautiful. He was tiny, but beautiful. You and Aaron hadn’t thought much about names, but you two had some in mind. You thought a lot about what you wanted and took some name suggestions from Aaron.

“Jordan Hotchner. What do you think, Aar?”

“I love it. Jack’s going to love it too.”

When your baby was rolled into your room, the nurse explained skin to skin contact would be best for him. Aaron quickly shedded his dress shirt and picked up Jordan, sitting carefully on the bed with him next to you. As you two held your son, you were just missing Jack, who would be excited to meet his baby brother after school.

And you were right, when Jessica brough Jack in to meet his baby brother he was so excited. You couldn’t believe the sight that was happening in front of you. Jack had run to Aaron and immediately began crying at how excited he was that his little brother was here.

It brought a tear to your eye to see how complete your oldest son be so excited to meet the newest addition to the family. When Aaron let go of Jack, he carefully sat on the bed next to you and Aaron explained to him that Jordan was very tiny so Jack needed to be super, super careful with him. You watched as your three boys were on the couch, Jack being so gentle with Jordan. Aaron watching as the two boys he loved more than anything in the world be so gentle and loving with each other.

That night, as all four of you slept in the hospital, eveyrthing was just right. You had your sons and your husband by yourside. Everything was great. Life was good. You were thanking your lucky stars that your little boy was okay.

Until that lucky star crashed. You woke up early morning to the sound of the nurses rushing in, saying that they noticed something off on the baby monitor and were coming to check him out. You were scared. Not really knowing what was happening. When you reached over for Aaron, he just held you. He was scared too, but he knew he had to be there for you. If he was scared, he knew you weren’t any better.

It was only a little later, after Jack left for school with Jessica that the doctor came in. You couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. You didn’t want to believe it. This had to be the biggest punch in the stomach known to mankind. You and Aaron wanted a to have another baby, and now that Jordan was here, you wouldn’t be able to raise him into a sweet young man that you envisioned for him.

The “I’m sorry, there’s nothing more we can do except monitor and keep him comfortable” is one of the worst things you could ever here, and you never want to hear it again. You wouldn’t wish it on your worst enemy.

How were you going to survive this? What were you going to do? This had to be your fault. You couldn’t create a home in your body and your son couldn’t survive the outside world just yet. It had to be your fault, right?

As you sat with Aaron in the nicu, just watching your son, he held you in his arms as you began to cry for what seemed like the 100th time that day.

“I’m a terrible mother, Aaron. I-I couldn’t even keep him safe, couldn’t keep him healthy. Our son is going to die because of me.”

“Hey, hey. No. No. It’s not your fault, you can’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault, honey. Listen, let’s just make what time he has left some of the best moments we’ll remember with him. Getting to hold him for the first time, hearing him cry. Watching Jack interact with Jordan for the first time. Jordan knows how loved he is. We still have him here, maybe there’s a miracle somewhere. The world owes us something good, don’t you think? We’ve been through enough trauma. Maybe Jordan’s going to be okay.”

You didn’t have the strength to argue with him. You didn’t have the strength or the heart to tell him he’s wrong and that Jordan wouldn’t be okay. Even if he were to survive the next two weeks, it would still be a long way until he’s out of the clear to go home. You couldn’t fathom a life without Jordan now that you had a small glimpse of it with him in your family. You couldn’t begin to even THINK what you were going to tell Jack. Jack was 7 years old and has already experienced more loss in life than anyone 3 times his age.

You didn’t know what to think. Jordan was still alive in your life. You couldn’t start prepping for a life without him just yet, you haven’t had any time to experience much life with him. You didn’t think there was any way to imagine a life without your child. You didn’t want to lose him. Not yet. You wanted more time.

The next few days were awful. You were discharged from the hospital but you weren’’t going home with your baby. As Aaron helped you into the apartment, you couldn’t help but breakdown crying.

Your son was still alive, but you were crying as if he was gone already. You never imagined that you’d have to come home someday without your baby. That instead of planning a little get together with your family and friends to meet the baby, you and Aaron would have to plan a funeral. You couldn’t begin to imagine the size of the casket he’d be in.

Over the next week or so, you and Aaron spent every minute you could at the hospital. Aaron decided that it was best if he tried to explain to Jack what was going on, so while you stayed at the hospital with Jordan, JJ came and relieved Aaron while he took Jack home to explain what was happening.

You and Aaron talked about it, and you just weren’t ready to have that conversation with Jack. Aaron knew what headspace you were in and knew it wouldn’t be good for you either, especially when Jack would have questions. You weren’t able to answer his questions and Aaron understood.

After that, the BAU constantly came and checked in, one of them always staying with Jack when needed. Will had been bringing Henry over more and more for Jack in hopes that it’d keep Jack’s mind off things.

You were glad you had a loving family. You were happy the BAU brought you something good of the additional family members and their endless amount of love and support. As you and Aaron stayed in the hospital the next couple days, you soaked up as much time you could with Jordan.

Only a few hours later, the doctor had come in to tell you that Jordan’s lungs were getting weaker and that he didn’t have much longer.

You and Aaron sat on the hospital bed, holding Jordan in your arms, as close as you could to the both of you.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t give you a longer life, Jordan. Just know you’re one of the best things to happen to me, your daddy, and your big brother Jack. We love you so much.”

The tears wouldn’t stop flowing from your eyes. You felt Aaron take a deep, shaky breath and kissed your cheek. He pulled your body closer to him and you passed Jordan to Aaron. You know that if Aaron never got to hold him in his arms again, it would ruin him.

Aaron held Jordan against his chest and it amazed you how his hand was the same size as Jordan. Your baby boy was tiny, he wouldn’t grow any more than he was born. It hurt your heart. You hated seeing Aaron upset, you hated knowing that your baby boy was in the final hours of his very short life. You hated that you couldn’t do anything about it.

What kind of sick world was this?

As you and Aaron both held your little boy in your arms, you watched him take his last breath. Sobs overtaking both of your bodies as your little boy, os full of life, was now just a lifeless body.

You didn’t want to let go of him. You held him and when the nurses came to take him, you tried to tell them just one more minute. You weren’t ready to let him go. If you let him go, it became real.

When the nurse was finally able to take your son, you couldn’t help but grab onto Aaron even tighter. How were you now going to go home and tell Jack that his little brother wasn’t here anymore? How were you going to survive this?

“What do you want to do? We can go home, we can pick up food, we can go to your parents’ house, we can go anywhere but here.”

“I want to go see Jack. He-He needs to know, Aaron. I just want to hold our one little boy that we still have.”

“Okay. Let’s go. Let’s go.”

Spending the rest of the night with Jack, just being vulnerable and open with him and Aaron was a part of the healing process you didn’t know you needed. You didn’t need an explanation when you burst into random tears. Aaron didn’t need an explanation when he just wanted to hug you and never let you go. The team didn’t need an explanation when Aaron texted Rossi the devastating news and that you guys needed time off and time alone, not up for visitors just yet.

The next few days went by in a blur. You had to go to the funeral home with Aaron, pick out a casket for your little boy. That’s something you never wanted to experience. You know, with your line of work, other families had to experience it, you just never thought your family would be one to experience such a small casket.

The funeral went by in a blur. You just remember crying more than anything. You had your parents hold you when Aaron couldn’t. Aaron spent a majority of the time talking to everyone who had shown up. You just weren’t ready for a conversation yet. It also made you think that people thought you were a horrible mother. Deep down you knew you weren’t, you knew you would blame yourself, but you couldn’t help it.

After the funeral, you, Jack, Aaron, and the BAU family decided that they needed to get you all out of the house and decided to treat you to dinner. Aaron’s hand never left your body the entire night. He always had his hand on you, whether it was in your hand, on your leg, your back, over your shoulder, he was always touching you, trying to comfort you, trying to ground you to reality.

You and Aaron took a month of leave from the BAU. You knew they were down two agents, he’d have a lot of work to come back too but you two needed to be with each other, needed a break from the world and just be with each other.

During your time, you slowly were getting better. Of course you would never forget Jordan and the pain of losing him will never be easy, but when you thought about him, you would smile, knowing you gave him the best life you could for the time he was on Earth with you, Aaron, and Jack.

What you didn’t expect on your time off from the BAU was your BAU family stopping over all at once, bringing over lanterns. Reid has his fact explanation about Chinese lanterns being lit and you tuned him out, just soaking in the time with your extended family. You wanted to do this. Everyone was coming together for Jordan.

As you all gathered outside to light the lanterns, you and Aaron lit one together with Jack and you all carefully let it go into the sky. Part of you felt a weight lifted off your shoulders, knowing that doing this would give you a happy memory of your son.

You just hoped that you were making your son happy, for the amount of time he kenw you, he hopes he knows how much love you gave him, how you would have give him anything he needed if that meant you had to go first, how he knows he was loved so much by you, Aaron, and Jack, and of course his BAU aunties and uncles.

As you leaned back into Aaron, he kissed your cheek and wrapped his arms around you. There was hope that things would get better as you watched the lanterns be delivered to your baby boy. You knew you and Aaron would be okay. You knew Jack would be okay. Uou knew someday when you thought ofJordan, you wouldn’t cry, you would smile and be proud of your son, and how hard he fought to live on this world for two weeks.

**Five Years Later**

Sitting around the table with Jack, your twin sons, Jason, Jasper, and your newest addition, Josie, you couldn’t help but think about Jordan and how he would’ve been 5 years old today. You miss him everyday. He’s always a part of your life. The best picture that Jack has on his nightstand and you have framed in yours and Aaron’s bedroom is a pic that Penelope took. The night the BAU came over to light the lanterns. Penelope snagged the picture of you, Jack, and Aaron sending them up to the sky.

Jordan was always with you. Jack may have not gotten a lot of time with Jordan, but he was a great big brother to Jason, Jasper, and Josie.

“So, what are we doing today, mom? Dad?”

You looked over at Aaron as he was rocking her to sleep. Aaron smiled and began talking.

“Well, your aunts and uncles are going to come over to hangout with us and spend some time with Josie, and then tonight, we’re going to say hello to Jordan. We’ll get Josie in on our tradition.”

“I think that sounds great, Dad. Can I tell you guys something?”

You looked at Jack, eagerly nodding so he could tell you whatever is needed. You watched as Aaron shifted in the chair a bit, letting Jack know he had his full attention.

“I think Jordan is with us all the time. I know I was young but it feels like yesterday I got to hold him for the first time. I absolutely loved being his big brother, even if it was only for two weeks. But, I think he sent Jason, Jasper, and Josie to us. He’s with us when we light the lanterns every year for his birthday. He would be so proud of us. I just know he’s looking down on us right now and seeing how happy we are with our family and how much we miss him.”

You didn’t miss the way Aaron had moved to stand and make his way over to Jack. Aaron was proud of his son. That was his first born. His little boy that he had with Haley. You stood up, too. This was the little boy you held in the hospital for the first time after Aaron and Haley held him.

You took Josie from Aaron’s arms and watched as Aaron wrapped his arms around Jack. Jack reached out his other hand and you amde your way with some of your favorite boys. The twins got off their seats and came to hug you all as well.

“I love you, Jack. Jordan is so lucky to have you as his big brother. Just as the three kids are so lucky to have you as their big brother now. You’re the best big brother in the world. You’re a better big brother than I ever was to uncle Sean. I’m so proud of you.”

You wiped the tears that had begun to fall from your eyes at the sentimental moment that was happening in your kitchen.

Later that evening, as you all were standing outside, you grabbed the lanterns and knelt down next to the twins, letting them “help” you hold the lantern. You told them to wave Hi to Jordan and tell them they loved him.

As your family stood there, watching the lanterns fly into the sky, thinking of how Jordan should have been 5 today, it made you realize how lucky you were that even after the loss of Jordan, you were still able to have three more kids who were living their best life.

As you kissed Aaron, he wiped a tear from your cheek. You and him had been through a lot, the loss of a child takes a toll on a family. But, through communication, counselors, you both got through it. You certainly knew you couldn’t replace Jordan with more kids, that’s why when you found yourself pregnant 8 months later, you were shocked to say the least. To find out it was twins was an even bigger shock. You two weren’t trying and twins didn’t run in the family. When Josie came around, you were trying to get a little girl from Aaron and you think somehow Jordan knew that his dad needed a little girl.

Life has been rough, but if it weren’t for Aaron, your kids, and the BAU family, you never would be able to make it through. They give you strength for getting up everyday and every morning when you wake up, you always think to yourself “how am I going to make Jordan proud and be the mom he should have had.”

Getting the kids in bed that night, you kissed them all and then made your way with Aaron onto the couch. As he held onto you, he hugged you and said, “I know Jordan wasn’t in our lives for long physically, but he’s with us everyday. He’s lucky to have us as our parents. I know losing him was hard and we have to go the rest of our lives without him, but for the short time he was physically here, we gave him every ounce of love that we could give him, and I just know that’s what he remembers about us.”

“I’m so lucky to have you in my life, Aaron Hotchner. I wouldn’t want to go through this life with anyone else. Thank you. I love you.”

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