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aleksa-sims · 2 years

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RL Sims-Story (18+)

CW: addiction

A few days later I went with my sister and Sandra for the weekend at a lake. It was the last week of August, so time to say goodbye to summer & Ana. 😞 That’s why we made this short trip. Ana will go to university in 4 weeks. 😭 But at least I will see my sister on the weekends and when holidays are.

Ana wasn’t feeling well, she was rather quiet the whole time and mostly retired. I think she used these two days there, to finish with this terrible incident. 😔

Sandra wasn’t in a good mood either, but she & her baby were fine, that’s the main thing! Since I left home, I’ve met Sandra once or twice, to clear this thing up with her, why she told me off. My dad put S. under pressure! He said, if he finds out that Sandra lied to him, she can’t come to us anymore. Yeah, that’s why she told him, that I relapsed and that Daniel’s a drug addict too. As for Daniel, I felt a bit bad. This weekend was his birthday on August 22nd. But exactly on this day, I will be back home in time.

Ana: Come with me! I wanna show you something!

Sandra: Hey, wait for me! I can’t move that fast with my fat slug! Where are you dragging A. and me??

Ana: Into the abyss! 😉

Me: I’m sweating myself to death but as long as I don’t stink everything is fine! 😬 🤷‍♀️

Ana: At least you know, your deodorant works! Otherwise, I'd be dead by now.

Sandra: I wanna yell at the world. 😈

Me: Just do it, S.! No one hears us anyway.

Sandra: Ok, who wants first?

Ana: That’s totally ridiculous. This damn lake here is not the world!

Sandra: But it’s part of the world and...ugh, I just have to! 📢 Hey world! .........Fuck you! 😕

Me: 🙉.....Uhm, that’s it? 🤨

Sandra: No, there’s much more! But I wanted to keep it short and summarized, it just means, fuck you! 🤷‍♀️ And you?

Me: Idk what I have to say to the world? Except... I am tired and hope everything will be fine.

Sandra: Then say goodbye here & now to what makes you so tired.

Me: No! I’m going back, I’m thirsty.

Ana: I’ll stay here for a while! I think I need a bit longer to say goodbye to some things.

Sandra: Sure babe! But if you need us, we’re there!

Ana stayed at this place, while Sandra and I had a snack. Sandra was hungry all the time! She constantly ate something. Honestly, we spent all our money on food, but S. was pregnant and had certain cravings.

Later, Ana told me that she felt a bit sick. She suspected, it was of all the drugs she took over the summer.

Me: Please hold on! After a few days it’s over! It’s not so bad with you, you can do it. Or we could take you to a doctor and you’ll get medication, but we’ll stop it right away. Just like P. did.

Ana: No, I try without it! I don’t really have pain, but I feel so sad and everything seems so hopeless & gloomy to me.😞

Me: That’s not real! You’re developing a mental addiction! A Part of you is already addicted to this drug and of course it wants more! But you don’t have to go through this alone! Maybe we should really take you to a doc? 😟

Ana: I’m so sorry, A.! It’s all my fault! 😞 I brought Daniel into our lives and now you’re gone. And Mom, she’s been so weird since you left, she doesn’t talk and she cries all the time.

Me: NONE of this is your fault!! Even without Daniel...I would have called Sofia and done this shit with her or alone. And as for Mom, I’ll take care of that. She’s just very sad because grandpa died. 😔

Ana: No! It’s because of Daniel & you! And without me, you would never have met him. 🤦‍♀️

Me: It’s not your fault I like him so much.

Ana: You don’t just like him, you love him! 🤨

Me: Please don’t say that! I didn’t want this to happen! And you can’t help it because I’m so stupid. 🙈

Ana: You don’t have to be ashamed of your feelings. I get why you fell for him. He’s nice! Not like the others who weren’t nice to you, and I don’t mean Philip!!

Me: Yeah, but he’s not the way he was recently. I mean, he’s still nice to me and all this....but, idk if he loves me too.

Ana: He’s totally crazy over you! I was there often enough, I saw it!! And I can’t say anything bad about him except he’s on drugs. Talk to him! 🤷‍♀️ ......But, you think you can make it A.? 😢 I mean, you’re quitting drugs, even with him?

Me: If you make it, I’ll make it too! You have my word on that!! 🤗

Ana: Deal! 👍... I go back and lie down, I want to take a shower and rest, or should I wait for Sandra and you?

Me: You don’t have to wait.

At home my parents were with Ana in that addiction clinic because Ana wasn’t well. The doc said, Ana will feel very sick in the next 4-5 days, but he will prescribe her pills to alleviate her symptoms. But he won’t give her more pills. He didn’t want her to become a pill addict! It just wasn’t necessary!! After these 4 days, Ana still felt a bit ill but not as bad as before. Just the mental withdrawal unfortunately took a bit longer. She suffered from anxiety and had nightmares about that party drug, but she made it. I was so proud of Ana! 😭

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#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #my rl with my simself #simself #myrlgameplay #18+ content #cw addiction #cw drugs

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wh6res · 3 years

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WHEN YOU FIND OUT HE HAS AN ONLYFANS BC HE ACCIDENTALLY CASTED HIS LAPTOP SCREEN TO THE SMART TV

feat. the ‘00 line : tw suggestive

✰ — RENJUN is mortified. wtf his screen turned black right as he was cropping off his face from the video of himself masturbating in the car, where he does most of his onlyfans content bc duh he can’t do it in the apartment. you were always straight home after classes. a homebody. he cant just splay himself on the bed and moan and whine loudly to his heart’s content or else you’ll hear him and god no he’d rather die than you finding out he has an onlyfans. but just as he was furiously pressing the space button of his laptop to get it work somehow, your head pokes inside the door. “uhm, renjun i think you accidentally casted your screen on the tv” “ha ha what? no i did not” and right on cue, he hears the very distinct “ugh baby bet you want this cock in your mouth don’t you? i do too” coming from the living room and his cheeks were tinged red when he fell to his knees. “yn please let me explain!”

✰ — JENO is proud. you and him are quite close, he wouldn’t call it being bestfriends but still, he’s comfortable in your presence and so are you with him. its not that he’s keeping his onlyfans a secret, it’s just you never really asked anyway so he didn’t tell you anything. you and him were chilling in the living room like always. just you getting some readings done on the coffee table while he edits his pictures on the sofa. he had his earphones on and everything and was just doing quick last touchups for this latest nude pic he’s going to post tonight. just when his laptop screen turned black, the smart tv opened on its own, you and jeno’s eyes widened questioningly until there it was. his nude pic; standing before the gym’s locker room mirror, holding his hard dick on one hand, phone on the other, with his tongue teasingly peaking out. “okay but can i see the real thing right now?” jeno doesn’t let the shock paint his features. simply, he smirks.“fine but no drooling”

✰ — HAECHAN is shameless. he’d be kinda confused as to why his laptop’s screen suddenly turned black on him while he’s editing the audio for a new video he’ll be uploading in the weekend. he’d be plugging up his laptop charger bc he thought the device was drained, until he heard slick sounds and his moans coming from the living room. where you were. holy shit. when he bolts out his room, he finds you choking on your chips, sat upright on the couch as you can’t even take your eyes off the screen. he was going to apologize but when he saw the pink tinge on your cheeks and the way your legs clenched as you watched the video of him jerking himself off, he didn’t feel sorry. “are you that fascinated that you can’t take your eyes off my cock, baby? there’s more where that came from” and when you shyly waddled inside his room well... “hey wanna make a sex video with me? we can split the money”

✰ — JAEMIN is clueless. so like jeno, jaem over here isn’t going crazy trying to keep his onlyfans a secret. he wanted to tell you initially about it but the topic was never breached in everyday conversation until eventually he forgot to tell you about it completely. he had been streaming live that night until his toe might’ve accidentally pressed the button that said screencast just as he was about to cum all over his hands. meanwhile you in the living room, raised an eyebrow when the movie cuts and you see him on screen, right when he says “i wish you were here with me. your pussy would feel amazing choking my cock” when his stream was over, he hears a knock on his bedroom door and he immediately put his pjs back on before opening it. “hey jaem thanks for free content, thats some good stuff you have there. maybe i can join in sometime, okay thats all i have to say! bye~” “uh wait hold tf up what do you mean”

✰ — YANGYANG is relieved. okay so yeah he’s keeping it a secret but only because from what he remembers, you were always more on the conservative side. bb is scared you might kick him out if you find out he’s a content creator at onlyfans. okay definitely, his secret keeping needs a little bit of work because he literally left the tab open, right on his profile. you and him were working on a project together and you had insisted he casts his laptop screen on the tv for the presentation file and boiiiii he accidentally casted the wrong tab omfg im dying. his fingers trembled trying to find the uncast button as the most recent video he posted autoplayed “hey babe, you back? daddy’s been waiting for such a long time i missed your sweet pussy” but he pauses when he hears you laughing. “omg yangyang! i cant believe you have a daddy kink wtf!” well at the end of the day, he’s just relieved he doesn’t have to hide it from you anymore and he can still live here.

✰ — SHOTARO is cheeky. okay if yalls think he’s going to be all innocent and embarrassed and soft uwu about the whole thing lmao hell no. i dont think he is. i bet he’s hiding all that sexayyy charisma under that cute face and it’s also probably why he’d have a hoard of people on his onlyfans. addicted to the contrast of that cute, soft voice of his going deep and domineering when the led lights in his room turn red. okay so you were running around the room almost late to your appointment when he “accidentally” hits screencast on his laptop. and suddenly the smart tv opened and he tried gulping down his laughter when you literally stopped in your tracks and watched the video of him unfold. “i bet baby’s laying down right now with her fingers shoved inside her cunny, getting off at the sight of my cock, hm slut?” your eyes widened like saucers and shit your pussy just clenched. “taro wtf is that-that you?” “i don’t know, why don’t you come here and find out, baby?”

headcanon reqs are open bitches !! had so much fun making this lmao idk alot abt onlyfans so im sorry if some of the details are wrong :'>

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xserpentlife · 4 years

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50 questions tag !

Tagged by no one but I saw @romanticgumchewer do it and thought it was cool so

1.) What color is your hairbrush?

so like i have bout 5 probably but now i only use one in the shower ad its this turqiouse bue color cause ya’ll if you got frizz or curls dont brush ya hair really at all just use ya fingers but also do it with conditioner and in the shower

2.) Name a food you never eat

freaking seafood eh blegh

3.) Are you usually too warm or too cold?

warm. all. the. time.

4.) What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

uhm swimming... no dinner and smelling disgusting seafood that made me wanna barf cause thsts whst my aunt/uncle and grandparents were making for dinner

5.) What’s your favorite candy bar?

oo idk uhm crunch noooo a flake bar they are from europe no like ireland i think so fucking good lemme tell you

6.) Have you ever been to a professional sports game?

yeah. Eagles, flyers, and phillies, and the reading phillies if you count them, oh and the 76ers and some college gsmes i think that is it

7.) What’s the last thing you said out loud?

nope i don’t want a smore

8.) What’s your favorite ice cream?

yall i got so many lemme get you on this shit. okay so ben and jerrys we talkin then its gottabe phish phood oj shit, but like all in al my fav is black raspberry tbh but also like i do keto so i do love me some coffee ice cream cause i can usually find that in “keto” ones. i like keto enlightened ice cream bars they are decent and low carb

9.) What was the last thing you had to drink?

crystal light or it may have been turkey hill diet green tea

10.) Do you like your wallet?

i mean yeah its a black michael kors it does it purpose lol, mostly i like it cause it has a lot of space for cards which like all my gift cards go there the only thing i don’t like is that the bitch gets hela heavy when coins get in it like jesus

11.) What’s the last thing you ate?

ham and cheese roll ups for diner cause they had fuckin seafood lol boutta be carots, but also wasn’t that hungry lol

12.) Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

nope!

13.) What’s the last sporting event you watched?

i believe that it was UFC

14.) What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

butter or white cheddar

15.) Who’s the last person you sent a text to?

my best friends so my friend from vegas and @wayward-river

16.) Ever go camping?

yep!

17.) Do you take vitamins?

i take a probiotic

18.) Do you go to church every Sunday?

nope

19.) Do you have a tan?

yupppp

20.) Do you prefer Chinese or pizza?

oooo uhm depends on what type of piza but ima say pizza... i have a cheese addiction

21.) Do you drink soda through a straw?

i don’t drink soda anymore

22.) What color socks do you usually wear?

vans socks in literally any color usually not black i try to get colored ones cause if i get the black i can never tell te old from the new unless they are like streched out or somethin

23.) Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

uhm yes lol. its my downfall but also like either go the speed limit or go 5 miles over do not go under becuase that is just not an option

24.) What terrifies you?

many things.

25.) Look to your left, what to you see?

flowers

26.) What chore do you hate the most?

vacuuming the sound drives me nuts. or no putting away laundry like hanging it up idk why i hate it but i do lik ill wash shit and fold it but actuly putting it way drives me nuts

27.) What do you think when you hear an Australian accent?

uhm hiiii but also adelaide idk why

28.) What’s your favorite soda?

dont drink it i drink ice drinks instead or the safeway brand sparkling water

29.) Do you go in fast food or in the drive through?

drive through

30.) What’s your favorite number?

31.) Who’s the last person you talked to?

in person? my little cousin

32.) Favorite cut of beef?

chicken just so many things can be done. chicken parm, grilled chicken, bbq chicken need i go on

33.) Last song you listened to?

welp i checked spotfy we were at the pool and it was me and my little cousin i was playing ehr playlist so it was did i mention from descendants hahah

34.) Last book you read?

oh god uhm i have no idea

35.) Can you say the alphabet backwards?

no unless i go throguh the whole thing letter...... by.... letter

36.) Favorite day of the week?

thursday

37.) How do you like your coffee?

Iced with heavy cream i prefer cold brew or espresso tho, but usually cold brew

38.) Favorite pair of shoes?

Vans

39.) Time you normally wake up?

10- 10:30 sometimes 9

40.) Sunrise or sunsets?

sunsets

41.) How many blankets on your bed?

usually just my comforter sometimes my comforter and one or two otehrs dring the winter cause i like to be cold and keep my window open i keep my bedroom door closed and the heat in my room off

42.) Describe your kitchen plates?

i live with my aprents im still in college but when im at school rndoms hit that is cheap

43.) Describe your kitchen at the moment?

tiny dorm kitchen or it will be first on campus apartment that looks like an insane asylum checkkkkkkk

44.) Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink?

i mean its not legal to sayyyyy

45.) Do you play cards?

yes omggggg my grandma s from the south i grew up on card games 500 rummy, oh hell too, i played poker with my grandpa to and 21

46.) What color is your car?

dark blue... kiki

47.) Can you change a tire?

yeppp!

48.) Your favorite state, province, country, etc.?

uhm idk i live in pennsylvania but I wouldn’t say i have a favorite state at least not yet

49.) Favorite job you’ve had?

I worked at this axe throwing place and honestly it was my favorite job i had. I was an axe master I basicaly taght people how to throw axes and like led mini games for hour long sessions it was hella fun, but my college scheldue and doctors appt got in the way so i got let go but it was fun while it lasted. or my own business i do photography on the side so that is also amazing and i absolutely love it and ned to do more of it.

50.) How did you get your biggest scar?

oh god i don’t even know.. i have huge scards from my chronic skin condition so either that orrrr maybe the scar on my leg it is not that big though like size of a nickel where a kick stand went into my leg, a lot of my scars are smaller or like blend into my skin fairly ell cause of my other scars or honestly i forget about them cause. i hae so many so i realy am not sure.

i tag @wayward-river @the-gargoyle-queen @whenallsaidanddone @riverdalebingo @theangriestpea @southsidevixen-blog

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99soft · 6 years

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otp questions: MY answers for markren / 3 wc: ~ 2k

a/n: you might think i’m stupid for doing this but it helps me get back at writer’s block (revenge)! there are two more going to be posted and the last one is going to be terribly long. (so i guess this is sort of for me).

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other?

hands down mark spends a lot of his money on renjun. and it’s not like renjun asks for it because dude he’s got his own fucking money. mark just likes to spoil his bf - sometimes he’s just out and he sees something that he thinks renjun will like and get it. that’s just how he is, he’s whipped.

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap?

who do you think? mark sleeps in renjun’s lap !!! he’s a baby and renjun is his cuddly bear. which sounds really cheesy but renjun is really good at rubbing his back and such. he also likes the way renjun plays with his hair, it calms him.

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes?

renjun walks around half naked all the time. EVEN WHEN THERE ARE GUESTS AROUND !! it’s crazy, you would think it’s mark however he’s way too shy about that stuff. so usually it’s mark yelling at him because it drives him insane. (his skin is just so nice and mark doesn’t want to get worked up around guests...)

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?

mark likes to read things late at night and in the bed next to renjun. and renjun cannot sleep with the lights on or with mark’s phone brightness lighting up the whole room so usually he yells at him and mark will say “in a few minutes babe” but a few minutes turn into an hour.

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?

okay ya’ll know. it’s mark who burns all the food. after he tried to make breakfast in bed for renjun, he almost burned down the whole house. renjun eventually did come to the rescue and save them all from dying. he just rubbed mark’s back, gave him a peck on the cheek and made them a good batch of cookies.

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”?

renjun used to really be into …. some vampire show. either it was buffy the vampire slayer or true blood. either way it doesn’t matter so he loved to write fanfiction for them … and well otp prompts were always so nice to use.sometimes he still reads them and thinks about him and mark while reading them. so eventually renjun showed one to mark: “person A is addicted to peanut butter. unfortunately, when they start dating person B, they find out person B is allergic to peanuts.” and mark was so confused because neither of them are allergic to peanut butter… it happens a lot and mark just gets so frustrated.

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes?

renjun always wears mark’s clothing !!! he especially loves wearing his sweatshirts. no explaination he just loves mark and his nice clothing….

okay fine! yeah its cliche, they smell like him and renjun loves it.

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?”

mark is usually the one running the errands and renjun just texts him after he’s done, asking if he’s got what they needed. prompting mark to turn the car around to get that thing that they desperately need. it drives mark crazy because it almost happens every time YET he refuses to have a shopping list !! he’s a maniac.

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?

mark’s the driver. renjun is the organized one. he’s the one that likes sitting in the seat just chillin and playing music not having to worry about the road in front of him. one might say he’s a bit lazy.

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws?

mark poses for renjun ! sometimes naked sometimes not who knows ! mark thinks it’s quite embarrassing but renjun reassures him that if he doesn’t get this art grade because of him, he will no longer give mark any more kisses for a whole month !! so there is that.

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?

renjun is incredibly flexible and sometimes it freaks mark out. so i can totally see renjun doing all those cool flips and stuff because mark … mark’s just a klutz. plus mark does like chips so… it just works that way.

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking?

this is kind of hard because sometimes renjun likes to drink a lot. but, usually its mark who gets drunk. mark doesnt even over do it he literally will have like one glass of wine or something and lose his shit. renjun usually has to pry the drinks away from mark and lock them somewhere he will never find them. that’s how crazy mark is. (also renjun doesnt take him to any parties anymore)

13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?

i kind of said this in the beginning but mark likes to surprise renjun all the time. most of the time it’s stuffed animals so as you can imagine … renjun has a huge pile of stuffed animals. he loves them all and doesn’t have the heart to get rid of them.

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own?

… renjun… sometimes he’ll introduce himself to a friend of mark’s like “hey lee renjun”. and mark is like ???? and the other person is like ???? so everyone is confused until renjun’s ears get red and he corrects himself. sometimes it just ends up with mark and renjun making out in a nearby closet or restroom because mark can’t resist how renjun just accidentally uses his last name as his own like that.

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?

mark HATES spiders but somehow renjun screams through bringing it outside on their balcony. it’s a funny sight because they both are quite afraid of the little creatures. BUT WHO ISN’T?

16: Which one gives the other their jacket?

mark likes giving it to renjun and renjun likes receiving it. like i said before renjun likes wearing his clothing!!!

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?

renjun’s older sister always threatens mark, even when she’s over at their place pretending everything is fine - renjun will go to the bathroom, leaving them alone and she … is one terrifying person. mark is literally afraid of her so he’ll just nod along and do whatever she says.

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other?

it was mark. since they’ve known each other it wasn’t that hard for other people to see it coming. mark is head over heels for renjun and maybe renjun is a little oblivious - even when jaemin and jeno would tell him, he would be like “lol no but thanks”. so after a party at jeno and jaemin’s … mark has a little too much to drink and he sees renjun out on the balcony, staring at the city below. mark somehow makes his way to renjun. renjun is like “haha okay buddy, lets not be out here since you’re drunk and like it’s dangerous.” but mark stops him because the twinkling tealights that are surrounding them - they make renjun glow. he’s so pretty mark can’t resist. “i like you.” and you can figure it out from there. (nothing suggestive, it’s all fluff with these two).

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting?

it would be cliche to think of renjun as the motherly figure and mark as a grumpy old dad. but that’s not them at all. please they’re still young, parenting is the last thing on their minds (plus i cant think of them like this yet). they live in the moment, making out in random places and cuddling during scary movies. sometimes drinking on school nights but who knows, they probably will be good parents someday.

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?

what does numbers as letters mean !!!!? they both are equally capable of writing with perfect grammar. mark loves to write, dude was going to be an english major. renjun is just smart. idk

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them?

if anyone is going to be attacked by a “bully” its going to be mark just because that boy is embarrassing and a klutz, so sometimes he says the wrong things at the wrong time. which is okay because mark is completely innocent and he’s really sweet so he doesn’t know what’s going on. renjun is the one who puffs out his chest and usually scares away the bullies. he doesn’t fight anyone he just scares the LIVING SHIT OUT OF THEM.

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun?

mark has got to stop with the bad puns, renjun can’t keep fake smiling all the time. it’s exhausting.

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?

only with renjun’s consent because a puppy is a big responsibility !!! but yeah it’s mark who would. fucking sugar daddy esk pile of goofball.

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?

mark loves giving renjun piggyback rides. he’s small enough because mark doesn’t usually work out very often because work and college tires him out but he’s strong enough for renjun. and he usually picks him up when renjun comes home from a late shift and he just carries him to the bedroom to pepper him with kisses.

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?

mark plays … basketball and you bet renjun is the most supportive s.o. there. fucking yelling and cheering for his babe. mark gets a little embarrassed but when he sees renjun’s pretty face, he feels fueled enough to keep playing. uhm and he always wins…

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder?

renjun loves taking embarrassing pictures of mark because he thinks mark is quite ugly at times. (but his ugly boy, nobody can insult him except for him). so sometimes mark falls asleep on him and renjun can’t just pass up on this opportunity. there is a scrapbook going now with about a third full.

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?

renjun used to get it from his older sister all of the time and at some point he enjoyed it. so he begs mark if he can do it to him. sometimes he does his nails or plucks his eyebrows. his favorite part is the facemasks or … using the bath bombs together.

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?

renjun has a small dog at his parents’ house and mark is absolutely terrified of it because that thing can go from being cute to rabid and snarling in one second. for some reason it hates mark and mark hates being there. help him.

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?

mark just because he’s a tad bit taller and renjun doesn’t want to extend his arm for that giant. (mark isn’t really that tall… renjun is just bitter and lazy).

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures?

one of those disney places. they would be so cute there please, that’s where dreams come true and happiness never dies. i want them to make a little video together liKE A VLog oh my god, im crying inside. they would be so cute going on rides together. just imagine it. ~

#q&a;mlrj #my works #mlrj:writ

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the-cpu-system · 3 years

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2Doc

TW! ANIMAL ABUSE, ALCHOHOLISM, AND ABUSE IN GENERAL!

Nonbinary 2D❤

Also this is my first Gorillaz fanfic so pleasw just spare whatever this monstrosity will be.

This is very angsty and seems like anti-2Doc but trust me at the end it gets to the ship jhfhssj

Also sorry for any spelling errors!

||2D Snaps||

It was just a normal day, Noodle playing games on her DS in her room, 2D looking for literally anything in the fridge, Russel doing.. Russel things (idk I don't keep up with him I'm sorry), and Murdoc sitting at the table, beer bottle in hand, staring at 2D. " close the fuckin door ya good for nothin piece of!- " 2D turned around to be met with a glass bottle smashing inches from their face. They flinched just after that, pushing the fridge door close with their hip. " I- uhm- uh- I'm- I'm sorry I'm uh- I'm- " they apologized, Murdoc growling and leaning back. " get me another beer, you're the closest. " They seemed just absolutely confused but grabbed two beers from the fridge, giving one to Murdoc before going to walk away. " aye Stu, " they turned around to face the bassist, " come sit down next to me. " the singer slowly walked back over, just because they didn't want another bottle flung at them. They pulled out the chair, sitting down quietly. Their lanky arms were limp on the table, the sweating beer in hand. They didn't keep eye contact with him- well- they couldn't really keep eye contact at all but they just didn't look at him. They gulped down whatever fear they had. Besides, he shouldn't be scared of Murdoc. Bandmates shouldn't be scared of each other. They glanced up at Murdoc who, from above the table, was just drinking the alcoholic beverage quietly, ignoring 2D's existence. It was better than getting hit. Under the table though Murdoc's free hand found itself on 2D's thigh, hand dipping downwards to the in between area of Stuart's pants. The singer, actually being on time with this reaction, rather panickly scooted the chair away, standing up with the closed beer in hand. " I- uh- I gotta go to my room! " They left hurriedly, glancing back at Murdoc who's tongue rolled out of his mouth along with a growl.

The singer sat on their bed, headphones plugged into a damage phone that played Dirty Harry. It wasn't their most favorite, but they liked the song. Its one of the only ones that didn't remind them of Murdoc like Feel Good or Rhinestone Eyes did. They closed their eyelids, humming along to the song. With the volume all the way up they didn't notice the green figure that stood in the doorway, glaring with a glass bottle held in his clenched fist. For no other reason than because he can, he chucked a bottle at the singer for the second time today. They jumped up, eyes wide with fear. Their music had already stopped. They screamed in pain, the drunk not knowing why until they moved their hands. A giant glass chunk had landed in the void called their eye socket, and other pieces had cut into their face, blood seeping and spewing from the cuts. Disgusting sight. At least the both car crashes 2D was in to get their eyes gouged out werent bloody.. Or weren't as bloody, but that's just because Murdoc didn't really see Stuart's body. This time he did. Though through his drunken state he couldn't comprehend what the hell just happened, even after Noodle and Russel came rushing in and called an ambulance.

It was about a year after that incident. Murdoc had no recollection of it ever happening and 2D had gotten a therapy dog to cope. New year new me, I guess. 2D had to wear an eyepatch because it hadn't healed correctly, even after all that time for it to heal. Guess being pinned down on a couch and having beer poured into your eye socket does that. Murdoc had sworn off drinking, just to try and get clean and because of 2D's dog. Last thing Murdoc wanted was to hurt an animal. Of course Murdoc's new years resolution didnt last too long of course when another boring day rolled around another 5 bottles were inhaled like air.

A rule that was made was the dog (named Blue) wasn't allowed on the couch. Though, Blue liked to curl up on 2D's lap, or well, attempt to, Blue isnt really a lap dog. Blue is a husky. But 2D was watching a movie, the one they watch every single time they get the tv. Blue was on their lap, making sure they didn't freak out with Murdoc just in the other room mumbling about how he wanted to snap their neck. The bassist drunkenly stumbled into the living room after a good amount of time. 2D was now asleep, Blue doing the same on their lap. Blue's body hung over onto the couch cushions. This pissed Murdoc off. So without any thought he chucked the glass bottle at the dog. Blue yelled in pain, causing 2D to wake up. Murdoc realized what he did, eyes widening in horror. " Sh-Shit!- 'm sorry I didn't mean to!- " 2D was too worried for their dog to notice Murdoc apologize for once in his life. Murdoc never apologized for hitting Stuart, or for getting both their eyes gouged out, or for literally everything else. Though when the singer realized what Murdoc said they stopped, smiling softly at the fact that the bassist of the band did have a heart and morals just very.. Deep deep deep down in his green Satanist heart.

Noodle and Russel were in the room now, the drummer piecing everything together in his mind and yelled at Murdoc, deciding now wasn't the time for psyichal violence. Noodle still didn't notice what happened, she was just standing there awkwardly watching as Russel yelled at Murdoc (who just took the yelling, surprisingly) and 2D on the floor, arms wrapped around Blue, trembling with tears threatening to spill from their eyes. As she realize she made an " oOoh " and walked over to 2D, helping them to their room, along with the dog of course.

With the incident now a week behind 2D and Murdoc hasn't left their rooms. The singer wasn't in the right state, tried to restart his painkillers addiction a few days earlier, so the painkillers were hidden and now they just didn't have the strength to leave their room. The Satanist felt horrible. Guilty. Disgusted in himself. Picking up women, getting drunk, getting high, getting drunk AND high, abusing 2D, almost killing 2D a handful of times, dressing like a n@z¡ That one time, and everything else he's done were a-okay in his book but animal abuse. That drew the line. 2D probably hated him now. They should be hated him before but they never did. May out of fear. Everyone hated him, never really pretended not to. But Stuart. Stuart "2D" Pot never seemed to hate him. They also forgave him.

His head began to hurt bad, he needed some beer. No.. Something stronger. Whiskey? Vodka? Vodka. But that'd mean he'd have to go out of his room and potentially see 2D. Oh well. Alcohol over feelings any day.

He trudged out if his room, dressed in nothing but his underwear as he rummaged around in the fridge and cabinets for the vodka. Conveniently Blue had to go out, so 2D cane out of their room a few minutes after the green male, quickly letting the dog outside before turning around to retreat back to their room. Murdoc had noticed them and now the two were staring at eachother, being too nervous to say anything but too confident to just walk away. Eventually 2D spoke. It was quiet and raspy, as if they hadn't drank water in a while. " can I get a sip? " Murdoc nodded and handed it over to the bluenette, who chugged half the bottle in a matter of seconds. He didn't comment on it, just built up enough courage to apologize once more. " 'ey look 'm sorry bout your dog I didn't mean t- " " I don't forgive you. Stop apologizing. " " ... 'xcuse me? " this had never happened before. 2D had just.. Ran out of patience. Patience for Murdoc to get better. Yeah they loved the son if a bitch, but they couldn't take his shit anymore. " did you really think I'd forgive you after you threw a fuckin glass bottle at my dog that I got because of you? My therapy dog that I only got so I could cope with the fuckin trauma YOU gave me. Are you forgetting this?- " they flipped up their blue and black eyepatch to reveal the swollen and greenish-black eye socket. Murdoc cringed in disgust. They flipped the eyepatch back down, continuing to vent. " I sat- and still do sit- in my room, hoping, PRAYING to whatever exists that you'll change. That you'll realize how fucked up you are. That you'll love me instead of chuckin beer bottles at me. I know that apology that night was genuine. I thought for a second that you changed- but the few fuckin times we've seen each other since that are JUST like before- I CANT FUCKIN TAKE IT ANYMORE NICCALS- I- I FUCKIN QUIT. " Stuart didn't mean it. Of course they didn't. They loved Gorillaz, I mean there'd never be a singer more fit for the job than them. They were just too caught up in it. Blue knew that too. That's why the dog clawed at the door. " I- Stu- Stuart- you can't just- you can't just quit- " Murdoc attempted to move closer, though 2D staggered back and gripped the now empty vodka bottle, raising it up like they were gonna hit him. " D- DONT FUCKIN COME NEAR ME- " the bassist ignored this warning and came closer, being greeted with shattered glass and small droplets of vodka to the face. He fell on his ass, holding onto the now bloody side, rather ironically a piece had jabbed into his eye. Just like what happened with Stuart. Though Stuart just stared down, panting heavily, admiring what they had just done. This wasn't the 2D Murdoc knew. He had really corrupted them. The singer grinned, laughing as they threw the top part of the bottle down next to Murdoc for it to shatter. " 'ats karma. "

-6 years later-

Blue had sadly passed due to natural reasons, though 2D was able to overcome the death of their therapy dog and not resort to pills. Murdoc was doing better just now with one eye missing. The two had fixed their friendship, both went to rehab together. They had matching eye patches and were inseparable from each other. So there they were. At a live concert for the band. For the 6 years of healing their relationship they never went any further than just friendly things. Though the thigh grab Murdoc did 7 years ago still stuck in 2D's mind, the words 2D had said stuck in Murdoc's.

On stage the two stood close, sneaking lustful glances at eachother. Though as they sang all their old songs they kept getting closer, the crowd most definetly noticing. " JUST KISS ALREADY! " someone yelled, both of them laughing. So once Feel Good Inc. had ended 2D let the Mic stand swirl and almost fall, Murdoc catching on and handing his bass to Noodle. The two pulled each other close, lips connecting. Some of the crowd cheered, some booed. They could care less. The kiss got more heated, 2D bent down a bit, Murdoc grinding on them. Though the two realized it was time to stop and separated, a string of saliva following. They wiped their mouths and grabbed their instruments again, continuing the concert like nothing ever happened. Though everyone knew that the two were way more than just Bandmates now. They were lovers, fuck buddies, boyfriends, etc. And they sure as hell were gonna show it off to the world.

(Edit: why is this so long i )

#2doc #studoc #2dxmurdoc #stuartdoc

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violenceeisgolden · 7 years

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Tmi/tw/an update

Had such strong cravings for alcohol/such strong urges to say "fuck my health, I'm already fucked, lets fucking lose all this weight you gained in recovery, buy some adderall and vodka and allllll the opiates in the world and at least enjoy however many shitty yrs you have left" except like ???? Okay, so my private insta kept !! Getting !! Fucking deleted !! Idk why, like yeahh i bitch about my drug problems and my mental illness but i have never shared a triggering picture? Meanwhile all these accts with people fkn shooting up are still up? Huh what a concept So anyway, i was thinking of making a side blog. Or i could just vent on here i guess but posting on my side blogs sounds safer. Damn. Been out of the Tumblr world for a while now. Anyway, since it's quite clear that I don't care about a fkn thing anymore... lemme give you all a lil update on the joke that is my life. This one's gonna be EPIC. So. Uh. First things first... I made it five days without any form of any opiate in my system. I did not eat anything in those 5 days. (Wanna lose weight?! Just get addicted to painkillers and develop crohns, then quit your painkillers cold turkey!!! You'll drop 10 lbs in a week!) I did not keep many fluids down, aside from the days when i was in the hospital. I was shitting and puking blood by the fourth day, because my body had nothing left in it to get out. I still smell like the stench of withdrawal - aka, overpowering body odor, desperation, sadness, guilt... etc. On the fourth day, my "stool" was nothing but black and blood.. I knew my potassium was low, not including sodium, etc. Was starting to get chest pains. Blah blah blah. IST was acting up. Whatever. I knew I had no choice but to go to my shitty hometown clinic (and... yeah i hate NOTHING more than that fucking place). Luckily, I got this cool 1st shift dr who appreciated my extensive knowledge of my esophageal and colonic conditions. She also gave me morphine. But I mean, 4mg through an IV is like... nothing. But.. that fucking rush. Whenever I get IV narcotics in hospitals, it's a nice reminder for me to forever stay tf away from needles. Anywhoooo Moving along. So i got some fluids/potassium, two of my veins are dead now (not even bc of drug use, as i stated above.. legitimately because I've had one too many IVs placed or wtf ever) so they had to stick me a million and one times and i was like :))))) yeahhhh keep causing more pain guys because ya know. I can just fucking take it obviously!!! And then.. this bitch drops the bomb that i realllyyyyy have been hoping was NOT true for like... ya know... a fucking year... that... okay fuck it, you guys all know i am a shit person anyway, lets add onto it.. anyway yeah. I have herpes. And my HPV is progressing. Still dunno about those cancerous cells bc no one tells ME ANYTHING but she said i have a severe pelvic infection that is travelling towards my liver. So they're like "lets do a REALLY intense course of antibiotics" and im like ??? Fucking a man im getting mad just writing this all out. Anyway i was like uhm. How tf am i supposed to keep down antibiotics when i CAN'T EVEN KEEP DOWN WATER THAT IS WHY I'M FUCKING HERE JFCCCC. And they were like "yeah we're aware but you legit do not have a choice" bc yeah, don't want my liver to go downhill (I've been such a lil fuck to my drs lately.... could not care less tho bc they deserve my bluntness) so i called my new case worker (she is super chill, super gay, lets me swear and call my drs fuckers as much as i want, which is dope) and basically explained, she said she's gonna try and get me back on subs legally so i can at least nourish myself and keep my health up (ill still be in pain but I'm learning that id rather have my body not slowly dying and be in pain... what a cool sacrifice. I also was like... "Hey yeah no hospital is gonna admit me rn... and my health is worse now than it was in '14 when i weighed 60 lbs less so like... I'm going to use street subs. Or opiates in general. For a few days. So i can get my electrolytes back somehow... also did i mention i have herpes? *bawling ensues* anywhooo... Just thought I'd let you know." And she was like "Fair enough. You need to eat." And i was like okay cool tell my dr and his bitchy nurse that usually replies to my messages bc i do not need anymore fucking stigma rn .. okay? Tyvm" so that was.. that i guess. So yeah. I used. On day 5. And... i didn't even truly fucking want to. That's the worst fucking part of this whole fucked up bullshit... I WANT TO PROVE EVERYONE WRONG AND SHOW THEM THAT I CAN DO THIS. And i could have. If it wasn't for my poor health... i fucking could have. And I'm gonna tell that to my pdoc when I see him. But you know what? I fucking ate. I kept down a loooottttt of liquids. Opiate wds technically cannot kill you. And the thing is... I've been through the "near fatal" ones (booze and benzos)... but I always caught my alcohol dts super fast, got treated and then away i went. But no. Opiate withdrawals will not be dangerous~~~..... to a person who is in decent health. I say decent bc lbs if you're using them either legally or illegally, something is already prob wrong lol. I remember a story that my ex sponsor who is now a good but distant friend (who relapsed, and when she relapsed, we became close lol shes sober now tho dw) told me once about opiate dts... she said one of her friends was so dehydrated, malnourished, etc... that he almost did die. And it took him almost dying for anyone to take him seriously. And, as I was laying in that miserable hospital bed... I remembered that. Opiate wds cannot kill you, but you're gonna wanna a) kill yourself, because it's honestly fucking easier that way (or so your mind will tell you) and b) if you're in poor health... try and find a detox center/hospital that will take you. ASAP. On tuesday... fuck i lost my train of thought... (in other news, i now have a promethazine script and... boy oh boy lol probably the best non naroticc/not scjeduled drug I've ever gotten my grubby lil hands on)... yeah idk that's all I publicly got rn. If you actually read all this... 👀 @ you, Ashley, bc ik you're the only one who reads my shit on here anymore (love you for that, btw 💜)... but yeah if you read this all, you guys are the real MVPs... I'm gonna start using one of my private blogs on here. Mainly because..welll...its fucking private and also really enjoy the fact that i saved the URL "clonqz3pain" so... yeah that's all I got. Hope you all are doing better than me.

#me #tl;dr #tw drugs #tw numbers #opiate withdrawal

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gardenbiriety · 6 years

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eeeekkkk christmas is the worst for dysphoria honestly

uhm so sui tw and family shit and just generally bad thoughts ahead

yikes so i used to really like christmas but now its literally just??? how can i navigate my family without making my parents hate me and without wanting to kill myself more than usual and i forgto this part every year until we have to have dinner w ppl and i just? realise how? my family doesn’t give two shits abt me at all except for my brothers lmao like??? i’ve literally said calling me my deadname makes me feel like sshit and my ma wont fucking believe me until i fucking kill myself and even then? she would just say i was being selfish what a cunt honestly

like i acctually forget that im not ok and then i remeber when i said ‘since ur fmily i guess i can’t make u but i’d really fucking love it if u called me roman ‘ and my uuncle legit was like ‘well im still gonna call u deadname ‘ like thAnks dickhead if i didn’t love my lil counsin (and only one bc her younger brother is such a dick (he’s like 11 so i try not t hate him) but he’s really fucking violent to his sister and whenever he hurts her she just doesn’t say anything but she accidently (or on purpose,,, but thats rareer bc shes such a sweetie ok i love her) but she tripped him on one fo thsoe big jumping pillow things and i (an almost adult at the time, this was like 6months to a year ago) had to physically get inbetween them bc he was determined to hurt her and he gets away with all sorts of shitty and cruel behaviour and she doesn’t even get away with retaliating and i lvoe her so much and it makes me so mad? but anyway she’s the only person (and maybe my aunt but less) who i like from their sect of the family and we have to have dinner with them and im gonna screm bc every time i see him i remember that and honestly????? 0/10

but that doesn’t hurt as much as the facct that? my ma still doesn’t believe me? like i fucking started hurting myself when i was 12 but sure..... this is some sort of fucking phase and im just ‘wanting to be different too badly’ (fuck her honestly) im so???? i shouldn’t have to feel this shit and i probably wouldn’t if she just grew the fuck up and let me be???? like????? i dont give a fuck if u ‘always wanted a daughter’ ya didn’t fucking get one and ur gonna lose ur oldest kid if u keep this shit up like idk how long i can deal with her but i also ant leave and i dont know what to do and if i’m not working enough (to her satisfaction anyway) next year she’s actually going to have at me and i just????? i want to get out but there is nowhere to go because nowhere is safe im fucking???/ im stuck and i dont want to be here anymore

is it that hard to take me seriously???? once i fucking pulled a muscle in my neck at someone elses house and they rung my ma to ask if i could have panadol and i was crying over the phone and she still accused me of faking (recently she told me she thought i had gotten addicted to drugs when i was in america for like? twenty days? because i had fucking panadol and ibprofen in my bag bc i didn’t realise ibprofen was not panadol and didn’t do the same thing and i wasn’t just gonna? chuck it out???) honestly i’ve fucking had enough

AnD alSo she is always grumpy / easy to anger bc of work / her general suppression of emotions / ect and takes it out on us w/o consquence and i pointed it out and she legit just said ‘yeah but im an adult tho’ like???? honestly fuck u you dont get to do that iim so mad and im so sad and i fucking dont even know if theres any point? trying to maintain out relationship? like i love her but fuck she is not good for me at all and has, consistently, for years, managed to ruin almost all of my good days with a single word and i just fucking???? i’ve had enough and i cant be bothered anymore like all she does is set off bother my anxiety and dysphoria and screams at me until i get out of bed which makes it? even harder to get out next time??? she is still trying to manage my life and shit like??? fuck u??? if i need help ill ask otherwise leave me alone (ofc when i ask for help she’s fckign shiitty abt that too honestly ‘ask if u dont know’ ‘except if its ‘common sense’ or smth that i already know and u, also, somehow, telepathically do to’ like sometimes i jsut wanna ask for reassurance!!!! fuck u!!! jsut say yes / no and move the fuck on it’s not that hard u dont have to be a cunt

i’ve been on the verge of tears for two days but its g its chill im just gonna have to make sure my ds is charged before the crhistmas family dinner and pray nobody writes my fucking deadname on any gifts bc seeing it written honestly causes me physical pain and accepting it will also do that fuck me theres nothing i can do except send judgmental looks (but on the downlow bc i dont waanna be ‘disrepecctful’ and have them dramatically try and take the gift back even tho i dont rlly care abt whatever shit they got me my ma would kill me) im so tired i can’t wait until i dont have to speak to these people ever again

#they scream into the void #ew family shite #im nto the hugest christmas fan lmAo

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surveysbygracelynn · 7 years

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What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed?

I think a margarita at Jose Tejas... lol

Currently waiting on something/someone?

Yeah, I’m waiting for my boyfriend to finish school >:o

Last time you painted your nails?

Myself? Good question. I had hem painted a few weeks ago though.

What was the last thing you watched on television?

Uh... I watched shark tank but that was recorded. I think This is Us is the last thing I watched live.

Is your shirt yellow? Nope.

How old will you be in 12 months? 24.

What did you do last night? I watched Clueless and some episodes of fuller house, and then I actually expressed how i was feeling to people.

What woke you up this morning? I guess habit. It was 6:45, when my alarm usually goes off.

Do you sleep naked? No. I’m always cold so...

What should you be doing right now? I’m not sure if there’s anything I should be doing. I could be doing something though.

On a scale from one to ten, how happy are you? I’d say I’m at a 6. My needs are met and I shouldn’t have anything to complain about but I do have some qualms with life.

Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? I don’t think so, honestly. Long distance relationships weren’t a thing and I definitely didn’t dream of working where I work.

The last person you kissed name started with a J or R? His last name starts with R.

Are you taller than 5 foot 7 inches? Nope.

The person you have the most feelings for calls you right now, what do you do? answer and wonder why he’s calling.

Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? I last messaged him.

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? Yes.

Your last kiss meant nothing to you, right? I wouldn’t say nothing, but I actually can’t remember if we kissed that morning.

Next time you will get butterflies? probably whenever the new boss gets hired.

Where is your phone? charging.

Will you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes.

Are you any good with kids? I’m actually amazing with kids. I feel weird about yelling at them though.

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? My stepdad got it for me, so I’m not sure.

Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years time? I think it’s possible, honestly. But it kind of seems very far off with the way things are going right now.

Are you in love with someone right now? Yeah.

How old is the last person you kissed? 23.

Have you had sex today? No.

Do you own more than one bathing suit? Yes. .

Are you worried about anything right now? slightly worried about work...

How do you think tomorrow will be? It should be fine, but it will definitely make reality set in that things are going to change.

Favorite time of the year? Summer.

Have you seen the last person you kissed without a shirt on? Yes.

How often do you drink Monster? Not at all, coffee is my energy drink of choice.

What form of communication did you last use to talk to someone? Text.

When was the last time something bothered you? Idk. I guess this morning.

What year was the last car you rode in/drove? I think 2014.

Out of everyone you know, who has the best music taste? Idk. I think everyone should have their own music taste.

Do you like watching Jerry Springer? Not really.

When was the last time you went bowling? It’s honestly been awhile. I wanna say Disney was the last time, but I might have gone in between then and now.

Did you eat any type of fruit today? No.

Who was the last person you were under a blanket with? Brandon.

Has anybody ever told you that you have pretty eyes? Mhm.

Do you like to cuddle? Sometimes. I’m weird with affection.

Name something great that happened today? Everything worked out.

How many different people of the opposite sex have you really cried over? Idk. Probably about 5 or 6. maybe more. I’m super sensitive lol

Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor? No.

Do you like your life as of now? Honestly, no. But I kinda feel stuck.

How many months until your birthday? Four exactly. Wow. Lol I didn’t even realize.

How many letters are in your last name? Six.

What are you excited about? Having a week off in April.

Do you have any tattoos or piercings? no.

Do you curse a lot? honestly, no. it slips out from time to time though.

Do you still talk to the last person you kissed? Every day.

What’s a happy time you’ve had in the past week? Uh. Idk. I don’t wanna sound cynical - but I haven’t been overly happy this week. I guess yesterday, meeting up with an elementary school friend and not really having any bad feelings about it was really nice though.

How late did you stay up last night and why? uhm. I actually think I was up close to midnight, and cause I was talking about things.

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it? I believe Brandon does.

Does anyone like you? Brandon does.

Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend? No. Lol.

What’s the worst thing you’ve gone through in the past year? There’s a few toss ups there. Losing the job I was sure I had was the worst singlular thing but experiencing the woes of job searching and going through awful temporary jobs is the worst major thing.

Do you believe that there’s good in everybody? Deep down. It’s hard for me to express that for people I don’t like.

Does the last person you held hands with mean a lot to you?

Yes.

Do you remember who you had a crush on in eighth grade? I think it was only James, and then at the end Kevin? LOL

Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past three days? No.

Have you ever trusted someone too much? Yeah.

Do you find the opposite sex confusing? Not really.

Meet any new people this year? Yeah.

Describe how you feel right now in one word? Nervous, I guess.

Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? Yes.

Is tomorrow gonna be a good day? I wouldn’t say good.

Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? Sure.

What are you currently waiting for? Simply, for my friends to get here.

Would you say that you’re adventurous? In some respects.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months or more? Yes. I’m extremely loyal.

Do you like school? I did like school.

Have you ever unbuttoned your ex’s pants? No.

When did you meet the last male who texted you? At my best friend’s house. .

What do you currently hear? As usual, my mom’s tv show and a classic rock song.

Have you spoke to your ex today?

No.

How’s the relationship between you and your ex? Well, we finally got closure so that’s good. We don’t really talk anymore.

Does anyone hate you? probably.

What do you want? To have more moments where I don’t feel so alone.

Do you get high a lot? Nah.

Can you commit to one person? Yes.

Do you ever think about the past? All the time.

Do you have any bruises on you?

I don’t think so.

Do you regret any of your relationships? No.

Are you currently frustrated with a boy or girl? Not really.

Was there anyone who “made your day”? I mean, the kids were awesome. and it kind of made my day to hear my pastor call me a blessing.

Do you own leopard print pajamas? Nope.

Have you ever deleted your Facebook, then brought it back? No.

The last time you were in a car, where were you going? coming home from church or going to church.

Has anything interesting come for you in the mail lately, besides bills? I guess my tax exempt form from one of my jobs from last year, which I didn’t remember working as much as I did.

Are you counting down to anything? Not really, honestly.

What brand is your phone? Samsung.

What color are the chairs at your kitchen table? Brown.

How often do you wear lipstick? Not very often.

What year were you born? 1993. .

How many different colors are you wearing? Two. .

What foreign languages did your high school offer? Spanish, Italian and French. I think PSA might have had chinese our senior year.

Are you addicted to cigarettes?

Nope.

Have you ever kissed someone who smokes weed? No.

Can you honestly say that you’re happy? No.

Do you have feelings for anyone? Yes.

Are you nervous for anything? Very.

Have you ever run over an animal? Noooo.

Does the battery in your cellphone last long?

Not at all.

Have you ever found candy on the ground and eaten it?

EW NO.

Have you ever had a teacher hit on you? Not that I remember.

How often do you go shopping just for fun?

Lol never.

When did you start wearing makeup, if you even do?

I don’t really wear it often.

What shoes do you have on?

None, but I’m about to put on my boots.

What makeup?

Nothing.

What jewelry?

My fitbit charge2, if that even counts lol

Who are you chatting with?

Brandon, sort of and also sort of my friends who are going to pick me up lol

#survey

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aleksa-sims · 2 years

Photo

My RL gameplay (18+)

CW addiction, pain, shots/injections

I was with Philip at the doctor because of his terrible headache that drove him crazy in the last 3 weeks. As soon as we got there, we had to fill out a questionnaire first. You know, these typical questions & he had to answer some questions about his pain. How do they feel, when do they occur and so on.... Since Philip wasn’t really able to fill something out because he was so high from my pills, I did all this for him. Yeah, and when we were done, a MRI was done of his head, and he was taken blood, & some other things were examined.

All these tests now had to be evaluated by a neurologist and in the meantime Philip & I had to wait a bit. Luckily, I slowly became sober! At least one of us, should be able to have a normal conversation with the doctor. After a while, we were called into the neurologist’s office. This doctor was actually nice and he even listened to my headache history, because I had to tell him, that I gave Philip my pills. 🤦‍♀️

Doc: Ok...so you gave him your pills because his pain was so severe and unbearable. And you had exactly the same kind of pain two years ago? 🤔

Me: I know this sounds weird, but it was exactly the same! One-sided headache. The pain attack always came in relapses, mostly all 3-4 hours and one attack lasted for about 60 minutes. The pain started relatively strong, this usually lasted 10-15 minutes. But after 15 minutes, this pain increased again, so that it was no longer bearable and this phase lasted for 20-25 minutes, until it slowly stopped again and after exactly 1 hour, everything was over. As if nothing had happened.

Doc: During these 20 minutes of your peak pain, didn’t painkillers help you either?

Me: No painkillers helped! I took up to 8 pills a day just out of despair. I felt my heart pounding strangely because I couldn’t stand it anymore. I simply squeezed my head tightly with both hands and started counting to distract myself. It looked totally crazy. 🤪👈 And one day, I fainted. My parents drove me to a emergency room. But they couldn’t find anything. I then received infusions. A very strong pain relief. Something like.... codeine, but Idk what this drug is anymore?

Doc: Ok, thank you for telling me frankly what you went through, because I actually couldn’t find anything with your friend. From a neurological point of view, he’s healthy! In fact, he may be experiencing something similar to what you did back then. Do you have these pills that you gave him? I’d like to take a look at them.

Me: Uhm....yeah! But....ugh! 🤦‍♀️ I know this was wrong! I’m afraid he’ll get addicted, but he really couldn’t take it anymore and he won’t sleep! As soon as he does, this pain attack comes. That night, he almost collapsed from exhaustion. And nothing helped him except for those damn pills.

Doc: But these pills are drug substitutes.🤨... What you two did, is pill/drug abuse and very dangerous. I understand his condition scared you, but you should have taken him to a doctor first! And I’m not gonna give him those drugs!

Me: And what should we do when his pain comes back? I just can’t anymore and he anyway! 😩 We are already totally at the end!!

Doc ( to P.): I’ve been watching you for quite a while! 🤔 You’re always touching your neck. Do you have any pain in your neck?

Philip: Yeah. But.... not really! 😕 🤷‍♂️

Doc: In the questionnaire you filled out, that you do sports 2-3 times a week, right? What exactly and for how long?

Philip: Um...well. I played soccer for 13 years and after that, I continued but no more daily as in the past. And I go to the gym. 🤷‍♂️

Doc: Hm... I noticed that your neck is very tense but lack of exercise doesn’t seem to be the problem here. Have you been under a lot of stress lately?

Philip: Yeah, a lot of stress! But also in university something happened which kept me very busy.

Me: He hasn’t been feeling well in the last few months! He blamed himself for something and felt responsible for it. 😔

Doc: I think you’re suffering from tension-head pain. Your lack of sleep and the stress you had, all this led to a tense neck. The pain from your neck radiates up to your head. ...Blood is pumped into our brains, as you know. But when everything is tense up here and the nerve strands are also affected, a hellish pain occurs. Unfortunately, painkillers alone are not sufficient! I’m going to numb your pain right where you feel it most, not with a pill, but with injections. This will not help overnight either. 😕 We will have to see each other daily in the next few days and I will also prescribe you a medication that relaxes muscles & nerves. This will make you totally tired!! So, you get a targeted pain treatment with the shots from me, and in the evening take this muscle & nerve relaxant. This is a very strong drug!... And now, I’m going to give you about five to six shots. I’m going to start at the top of your head and work my way down to your neck. Unfortunately this is going to be a bit painful, but I am very careful. If you need a break, just let me know, but you’ll see, this is quick.

Me: Injections? In his head? 😱 🤢... Is there no other way? 😧 😟

Doc: Don’t worry! And believe me, it’s not as bad as his headache attacks!

Philip: Nothing’s worse than that fucking headache! So yes pls, inject my brain with this drug!

Me: Can I stay with him? 😟

Doc: If you promise me that you will not interrupt me, then yes! But as I said, if he needs a break, he should just say it.

I will get exactly the same treatment 2 years later, because my headache came back after my son was born. Under the cut, Philip & I discuss what we’re going to do now? 'Cause my mom’s waiting for us. 😬 😔

Philip: If this pain doesn’t stop soon, I’m really going crazy. We only got 3 pills over and no prescription. I will try to endure this pain without the pills, but honestly, I don’t believe in it. 🤦‍♂️🙁

Me: But you got these injections now. I hope this helps! 😟

Philip: You heard what he said! It’ll take a while to get better, so the 3 pills will have to be enough until I’m painless. I could cut it in half, so I’d have six more days.

Me: He also said if you don’t stop taking my pills, you’re gonna get addicted.😨

Philip: I don’t get addicted that fast! I just don’t want any more pain! I have to leave in 5 weeks A.! How am I supposed to do this alone when I’m so sick. And you? You have to stop! Not me! How are you going to do this without me? 🤷‍♂️

Me: Stop worrying about me! You’re sick! And if you’re not feeling better, I’ll go with you abroad until you’re well.

Philip: Is that why you started taking drugs again? Because I told you, that I had to leave? Like Nico?..... But I’m not leaving you for ever! 🙁

Me: I just wanted our last days together to be...nice! Without fear and pain or .....just all this shit that happened. I kind of gave up?😢 But I’ve seen what this shit is doing to us. To YOU!!! And that’s why I’m gonna stop! To save you!!

Philip: But this wasn’t your fault! I wanted your pills!!! Otherwise I would be in a loony bin! Maybe I should stay with you? I mean, I can continue my semester here at home.🤔

Me: Never! You certainly won’t miss this chance because of me! I just want you to be happy and get what you deserve! But, we’ll talk later. ...What do we do now? Do we go back to my place?

Philip: Your mom is waiting! But first we’ll go to my place so I can change and then I’ll stay at your place with you. I’m sure she won’t let us go alone in my apartment. 🤨

Me: I don’t care! We explain everything to her and she has to accept it.🤷‍♀️ I don’t want to spend our last few days locked up at home!! 😠

Philip: This will cause trouble! 😬 Especially if she constantly compares me to Nico! 🤨 But I won’t leave you alone!

Yes, P. told me two weeks ago, that he also has to go abroad. And that thing with my pills and Philip’s headache, it’s not over yet. 😢 Even with my mom it will be very stressful. My dad is still not back home. He won’t be home until tomorrow.

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#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #my rl with my simself #simself #myrlgameplay #18+ content #cw addiction #cw pills #cw pain #cw injections #cw shots

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aleksa-sims · 3 years

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My RL gameplay

!CW! drugs, addiction

Nico came back after about an hour. Where was he again? He NEVER gives me an answer. Ana is trying to reconcile us. And she wants to find out if he really doesn’t care about me anymore, because he ignores me and doesn’t talk to me.

Nico: Hey Ana! You’re still here.

Ana: Hi, N.!..My sister told me everything, and I get, you’re mad at her. Just how many times I’ve been mad at her about this. It’s not easy, N.! Not just for us, because she hurts us with it. It’s hard for her too! She doesn’t do it on purpose!

Nico: She lied to me, she could have been honest. I asked her several times! 😒

Ana: You’re right! But you should ask yourself why she lied to you. Sure, you’re supposed to watch her, but you’re overdoing it! I was there that night. She was really just smoking some weed. She was worried about me because I was alone with these three guys. But these are my friends, and A. didn’t know that.

Nico: What kind of guys?🤨

Ana: Well, the one from my school! 🤷‍♀️ And one of them started arguing with A. about YOU! You threatened these guys from A.’s class! That was the trigger for this mass brawl, at her graduation party! 😠

Nico: Those fucking private students! I was beaten by them! And you two smoke weed with them?🤨

Ana: Not with the guys from A.’s class! They were MY friends! And after a while ,we went back home. Ask Philip what time it was, when he picked up A., it wasn’t even 11:00 PM! She really didn’t do anything N.! You know me! Do you think I’d let my sister take pills or other drugs? If she had, I would have called my Dad right away! But she didn’t relapse!

Nico: Yeah, it’s good! But she lied to me! Even when you two were visiting your cousin.

Ana: NICO! 😠 You can’t lock up my sister! She didn’t do or take anything! My Mom was there too! What do you think?

Nico: I can and I will if I have to lock her up!

Ana: But you don’t have to! She ist OK, man!

Nico: I have to leave next week! How can I trust her now? A few days ago she asked me about her damn pills. 😠

Ana: Ugh, she was sick! And YOU screwed up! That’s why you have to go to the Army! And that’s why you’re pissed!

Nico: No, actually not! I’m even glad to have a break from soccer. And I can come home every day ,if I want to.

Ana: Then why are you panicking about A.? It’s okay N.! She is ok! And now stop being so mean to her.

Nico: None of your business, Ana.

Ana: Ok, if you don’t care about my sister and you don’t want to forgive her, then....I can take her with me tonight.

Nico: Where? 🤨

Ana: We’re going out....A.? Are you ready?

Nico: Hm! 🤨

Me: Uhm...no? And Idk, If I should go with you Ana? And I have to change first.🙄

Ana: Ok, then go change, I’ll wait here! With Nico!🤨

Nico: 😒 😒

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#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #my rl with my simself #simself #myrlgameplay #18+ content #tw addiction #tw drugs

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