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roleplaycharacter1shots · 3 years

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more miraculous than magic

Warning(s): Mentions of miscarriage/pregnancy/birth/labor, language, +18 themes, not proofread

Word Count: 1533

Character(s): Raven Brown, Deckard Molton

Summary: What if… Raven did not lose her and Dec’s baby?

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Original Scene: There was blood seeping into her sheets as she woke with a start in the middle of the night. Her stomach was cramping harshly, and Raven immediately had a sinking feeling that she knew what was happening. Her brain immediately screamed to call Dec, both to provide his healer insight and to hug her while she wept over her loss. But instead, Raven did what she always did: handle it on her own. She stayed up all night, tears streaming down her cheeks as she sat in the dark with a towel around her waist and waited for the pain to end…

What if…: There was warm liquid suddenly seeping into her sheets as she woke with a start in the middle of the night. Her stomach was cramping harshly, and Raven immediately had a sinking feeling that she knew what was happening. Her brain immediately screamed to call Dec, both to provide his healer insight and to hug her. The pain was so sudden, catching her off-guard by how tightly nearly all the muscles of her body were able to contract. For a moment she could barely breathe, let alone speak.

Raven’s hand aimlessly moved around Dec’s side of the bed as she worked on sitting upright. “Dec,” she groaned at last, just as her fingers grabbed a fistful of his blonde locks. Her grip tightened as another contraction washed over her, undoubtedly arousing her boyfriend. “Dec.”

“Ow, ow!” Dec exclaimed, one hand reaching for the vice on his scalp while he moved to her side. “Ven, that hurts -”

“My whole body fucking hurts,” Raven snapped through gritted teeth in response. Dec’s mood shifted from irritated to concern in an instant as he gazed back at her. Once the pain began to ease back, she finally let go of his shoulder-length hair as her body relaxed. He straightened up, taking note of the beads of sweat on her brow and the damp mattress.

“Your water broke,” Dec said. His warm, wide hand went to rest upon Raven’s curved belly. She fought hard not to roll her eyes. She was doing her best to take deep breaths, in no mood to respond. Dec moved both his hands expertly across her stomach, observing how her womb was no longer spasming but very tense and hard. “How far apart are your contractions?”

“Bloody hell if I know,” Raven panted.

“Raven -”

“I don’t know,” she grumbled. “I was having small twinges all day, but that was the first big one -”

“Raven.” While his tone was scolding, Dec’s expression was one of exasperation. “Why didn’t you say anything?!”

“We crawled right into bed when you got home!” Raven answered, throwing up her hands. She suddenly grimaced as another ache began, starting in her back and moving down through her pelvis. “I’m sorry if I would rather sleep than deal with cramps.”

“You do realize,” Dec said. “That you are two days away from your expected due date?” He was trying to be serious, but he couldn’t help but give a small chuckle. “You should have said something.”

“Duly -” Raven grunted as the wave of pain finished washing over her. “Duly noted.”

“Come on.” Dec moved across the bed, pushing the comforter aside on his way. He then stood before his girlfriend, reaching out to take her hands after brushing his bangs out of his eyes. It took Raven a moment to get to her feet, but she was able to brace herself against Dec. Part of her was glad that their child’s birth was coming now, considering how she had been feeling so large and exhausted these last couple of weeks. But that didn’t mean that Raven was feeling entirely prepared for the agony she would be enduring for the rest of the night, if not longer.

“God, why the fuck did I let you do this to me?” Raven moaned into Dec’s bare chest. She pulled her hands away from his to drape them lazily over his shoulders as she leaned against him. Her nails dug into Dec’s skin as another contraction rippled through her. “Fuck - this hurts worse than a never-ending Stinging Hex.”

“You’re doing great, Ven,” Dec reassured her gently. He used one arm to support Raven while the other ran through her ruffled hair. “Are you sure you still don’t want to go to St. Mungo’s?”

“Yes,” she insisted, despite how she was slightly out of breath. “I’m only going there if… you think something’s wrong.”

Dec let out a small sigh, but he nodded. “All right.” He was, naturally, a little anxious about the whole thing. After all, Raven was placing her life and that of their child in his hands, regardless of how he hadn’t even started his healer training. During his internship, he had assisted one or two births, but that was hardly any experience. They were so young, Dec barely out of school; and yet here they were preparing for a baby. But, because of Raven’s assassination work, she had been adamant that they involve as few people as possible. The last thing she wanted to do was have it on record that she had a child, creating as little of a paper trail as she could. Raven had permitted Dec to have a midwife on speed-dial, but getting a trip to St. Mungo’s to be Plan C had taken quite a bit of convincing.

The next few hours included the waiting game aspect of the process. Raven was able to pace in the bedroom on her own, although Dec matched her steps beside her. Dec texted his midwife friend after three hours, asking if he should be getting his girlfriend into the tub now or later. Before he had even received an answer, Raven made the call for him.

“Dec,” she breathed and he was startled to see that her knees were shaking. “Dec, I think you should run the bath now.”

He was by her side in an instant. “What are you feeling?” he asked.

“These… contractions,” Raven gasped. “They’re… They feel different.”

“You starting to get the urge to push?” She nodded, closing her eyes briefly. Dec pressed a kiss to her damp forehead before stepping away into the bathroom. Thankfully, Raven’s apartment possessed a nice clawfoot tub that she would be able to rest in. His mouth was suddenly dry as he tapped the faucet with his wand to start the flow of warm water. Raven had been laboring for a bit, but somehow it was this action that made Dec realize how close he was to becoming a father.

When he returned to the bedroom, he found Raven sitting on the floor at the edge of the bed. Her arms were folded around her head as she rested on the mattress. Dec had never seen her so exhausted before. “Ven,” he whispered, feeling sorry to have to disturb her. “Come on, let’s get your clothes off. Then you can rest, I promise.”

Raven gave a small whine in her throat, but she did not resist as Dec eased her pajamas over her head. She was once again able to walk on her own to the bathroom, but this time needed to use him as support to crawl into the newly filled bath. The next sound she made was one of relief as she leaned back, letting the water swallow up her aching form.

“Bit better?” Dec asked as he crouched beside the tub, his arms resting on the edge.

“A bit,” she answered softly. It didn’t take long for Raven to feel another contraction. This time, she couldn’t help but let out a cry, arching her back. Dec took her hand, but the crushing force she placed upon his bones made him regret the move almost immediately. He was blown away by the sheer strength Raven possessed during labor, especially when her grip did not lessen much until the eighth hour had passed. A bit of sunshine peeked through the small bathroom window, illuminating her face, as it became midday around hour fifteen.

“I can’t,” Raven croaked out. She had been trying to push then, collapsing back against the wall of the tub. Tears were streaming down her face. “Deckard, I’m so tired. How much longer?”

“Um…” Dec wasn’t sure what to say. He was struggling to stay awake himself. His right hand was numb from her strong grasp. He blinked for a moment or two before something clicked in his brain. His free hand went down between her legs beneath the now cool water. To his surprise and awe, he suddenly felt a firm, round lump. Dec’s exhaustion disappeared in an instant. “You’re almost there, Ven. I… I can feel the head.”

For the first time since they had woken up, Raven smiled. “Really?” She moved her own hand down with Dec’s. “Oh, my -” A sob broke from her lips.

Dec kissed Raven’s temple before leaning his forehead against hers. “Not much longer now. You can do this, Ven.” She nodded, shifting more upright while gathering her remaining energy. Everything went by in a blur from that point on, even though it took another three hours. But then, there was a splash as Dec reached down to pull their little girl to the surface. Raven took her in her arms, hardly able to keep her relief and joy inside. Once the air struck the baby’s skin, her shrieks began.

Dec made quick work of getting towels and then making sure the pair of them were warm again. Raven couldn’t tear her eyes off her daughter, who had found comfort in listening to her mother’s heartbeat after a moment or two. “Eleanor,” Raven murmured. “My Eleanor Rose.” With those words, she silently vowed to protect her child at all costs, no matter what.

And suddenly, she felt complete.

#one shots #one shot #oneshot #birth #labor #pregnancy #galgadot #gal gadot #hp community #hp roleplay #chrishemsworth #chris hemsworth #my characters #character development #triggering themes #what if

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mickimacabre · 2 years

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People on my feed: OMG (name) is doing NFTs! BOYCOT! The same people: Arcane is so cool! What a great show! [plays 30 hours of LoL, buys a bunch of cosmetics]

In 2018, now-former employees Melanie McCracken and Jess Negrón filed a lawsuit against Riot Games over violations of the California Equal Pay Act. The lawsuit includes gender discrimination, sexual harassment, toxicity in the workplace, retaliation claims and unequal pay. The company was also criticized for their use of forced arbitration in response to these claims, only dropping the mandatory arbitration contract after employees threatened to walk out in April of 2019.

Later in 2019 (when Arcane was announced) they offered to settle with the 2,000 current and former employees involved in the suit for a measly $10m until it was blocked by the Department of Fair Employment & Housing, who said the plaintiffs could be entitled upwards of $400m. According to court documents published by the LA Times, the DFEH said that "no enforceable changes to employment policies, at a company alleged to be rife with sexism, are part of the settlement."

It's reported that both the WoT and Arcane series had a $10m budget per episode, not including marketing, bringing the show’s grand total costs to over $100,000,000 for just one season. The series was nominated for 9 Annie Awards, has a 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, within a week of its premiere it ranked first on the Netflix Top 10 Chart in 52 countries, and ranked second on the chart in the United States and has been dominating social media ever since. A second season was already announced for post-2022 release.

So let’s cover this timeline. 2018 the lawsuit was filed. 2019, their out-of-court settlement was blocked by lawmakers in CA and shortly after Riot announces Arcane’s production. Arcane then releases in Nov 2021 and the court orders them to pay $100m to the victims in Dec 2021.

It’s not even funny how many of you pick and choose what to be angry about. Y’all see a pretty art style and a Traumatized Twink and you go all in clown-mode and ignore the mile long list of Actual Problems that Actual People are currently living through as a direct result of this company and their workplace. NFTs tho.

I am low-key hoping that Riot Games starts to publish NFTs so you all wake up and stop supporting this trash company and this trash show that was specifically announced and released to distract you. And you all fell for it!

#I'm so sick and fucking tired of seeing Arcane #mine

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rapeculturerealities · 3 years

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In the Supreme Court’s first ruling on abortion since the arrival of Justice Amy Coney Barrett, the court on Tuesday reinstated a federal requirement that women seeking to end their pregnancies using medications pick up a pill in person from a hospital or medical office.

The court’s brief order was unsigned, and the three more liberal justices dissented. The only member of the majority to offer an explanation was Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr., who said the ruling was a limited one that deferred to the views of experts.

The question, he wrote, was not whether the requirement imposed “an undue burden on a woman’s right to an abortion as a general matter.” Instead, he wrote, it was whether a federal judge should have second-guessed the Food and Drug Administration’s determination “because of the court’s own evaluation of the impact of the Covid-19 pandemic.”

“Here as in related contexts concerning government responses to the pandemic,” the chief justice wrote, quoting an earlier opinion, “my view is that courts owe significant deference to the politically accountable entities with the ‘background, competence and expertise to assess public health.’”

In dissent, Justice Sonia Sotomayor, joined by Justice Elena Kagan, said the majority was grievously wrong.

“This country’s laws have long singled out abortions for more onerous treatment than other medical procedures that carry similar or greater risks,” Justice Sotomayor wrote. “Like many of those laws, maintaining the F.D.A.’s in-person requirements” for picking up the drug “during the pandemic not only treats abortion exceptionally, it imposes an unnecessary, irrational and unjustifiable undue burden on women seeking to exercise their right to choose.”

She suggested that the next administration should revisit the issue.

“One can only hope that the government will reconsider and exhibit greater care and empathy for women seeking some measure of control over their health and reproductive lives in these unsettling times,” Justice Sotomayor wrote.

Julia Kaye, a lawyer with the American Civil Liberties Union, said the Supreme Court had taken an extraordinary step.

“The court’s ruling rejects science, compassion and decades of legal precedent in service of the Trump administration’s anti-abortion agenda,” she said in a statement. “It is mind-boggling that the Trump administration’s top priority on its way out the door is to needlessly endanger even more people during this dark pandemic winter — and chilling that the Supreme Court allowed it.”

Judge Theodore D. Chuang, of the Federal District Court in Maryland, had blocked the requirement in light of the coronavirus pandemic, saying that a needless trip to a medical facility during a health crisis very likely imposed an undue burden on the constitutional right to abortion.

The case concerned a restriction on medication abortions, which are permitted in the first 10 weeks of pregnancy. About 60 percent of abortions performed in those weeks use two drugs rather than surgery.

The first drug, mifepristone, blocks the effects of progesterone, a hormone without which the lining of the uterus begins to break down. A second drug, misoprostol, taken 24 to 48 hours later, induces contractions of the uterus that expel its contents.

The contested measure requires women to appear in person to pick up the mifepristone and to sign a form, even when they had already consulted with their doctors remotely. The women can then take the drug when and where they choose. There is no requirement that women pick up misoprostol in person, and it is available at retail and mail-order pharmacies.

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and other groups, all represented by the A.C.L.U., sued to suspend the requirement that women make a trip to obtain the first drug in light of the pandemic. There was no good reason, the groups said, to require a visit when the drug could be delivered or mailed.

Judge Chuang blocked the measure in July, saying that requiring pregnant women, many of them poor, to travel to obtain the drug imposed needless risk and delay, particularly given that the pandemic had forced many clinics to reduce their hours.

He imposed a nationwide injunction, reasoning that the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has more than 60,000 members practicing in all 50 states and that its membership includes some 90 percent of the nation’s obstetricians and gynecologists.

A unanimous three-judge panel of the United States Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit, in Richmond, Va., refused to stay Judge Chuang’s injunction while an appeal moved forward. The Trump administration, which often seeks Supreme Court intervention on an emergency basis when it loses in the lower courts, asked the justices in August to stay the injunction.

In October, in its first encounter with the case, the Supreme Court issued an unusual order returning the case to Judge Chuang, saying that “a more comprehensive record would aid this court’s review” and instructing him to rule within 40 days. In the meantime, the disputed requirement remained suspended.

Judge Chuang issued a second opinion on Dec. 9, again blocking the requirement. The “health risk has only gotten worse,” he wrote.

The Trump administration returned to the Supreme Court. Its brief focused mainly on data from Indiana and Nebraska, where state laws continued to require women to pick up the pills in person.

In those states, the administration told the justices, the number of abortions had increased compared to the previous year. That showed, the administration’s brief said, that the requirement did not amount to an unconstitutional burden on the right to abortion.

That argument, lawyers for the medical group wrote in response, “defies rudimentary principles of statistical analysis.” Many factors could account for the rise in the number of abortions in the two states during the pandemic, they wrote, including disruptions in access to contraceptives, unemployment and other circumstances “that have made unwanted pregnancy more likely and parenting less tenable for some.”

Justice Sotomayor was also unimpressed by the argument. “Reading the government’s statistically insignificant, cherry-picked data,” she wrote, “is no more informative than reading tea leaves.”

#abortion #reproductive justice #reproductive rights #supreme court #coney barrett #aboriton pill #health care

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pink-flame · 3 years

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Not Working - For Lilly 💜

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILLY!

For @chickwiththepurpleguitar

So, this is set in the world of WFW about a year after Julie left but it's not canon (yes I have my own canon 😂) within the WFW universe. In the world of my actual fic Luke and Bobby are just chaotic best friends/brothers who show their platonic love through fighting constantly. However, Lilly wanted Bobby pining after Luke in this universe and I love her so I have created this un-official splinter universe for her hc to live in. It does incorporate some of my actual ideas for the end of Sunset Curve in that original timeline though, just minus the pining. 😂 I hope you like it, my friend! 🥰(Also, I only went 100 words over our agreed upon word limit. Aren't you proud???)

It wasn’t working.

That was Bobby’s main thought as they packed up all their gear at the end of one of the final shows of their first tour. It was at least 2am, possibly later and they were all dragging as they forced their bodies through the second nature routine of getting everything safely into Beatrice. They had been all up and down the West Coast for the past few months, playing to decent sized crowds and getting a good response. The problem was this tour was supposed to be the thing that pushed them to the next level of success and that...that clearly wasn’t working.

Radio stations were completely uninterested in booking them to promote their performances.

Multiple venues had pulled out of hosting them at the last minute despite tickets already being sold, leaving them scrambling to find alternatives or canceling stops outright.

Even the company that printed their cheap t-shirts had politely declined their request to re-up their order.

It was like Sunset Curve had gone from being a band on the verge to a band on the verge of being unable to book a gig. None of this was that surprising given the fact that they had gone against Dec from Red Rose Records, an executive famous for holding grudges and exerting every bit of his influence to make things difficult for his targets. Part of Bobby had wanted to believe that Queenie would be able to intervene on their behalf, that she would finally stand up to her dad and find a way to make things easier for all of them. Part of him had wanted to believe she still cared enough about him to try.

Maybe she had and maybe she hadn’t and at the end of the day he couldn’t blame her either way. It had been a terrible situation all around...Luke’s attitude and Queenie’s dad insisting on that unfair contract and Bobby himself being completely incapable of putting everything out in the open when he was so scared of losing either Queenie or Luke. And that was to say nothing of Julie...all the absolute insanity that had been going on with Julie even though none of them knew it. It was because of her that he knew things could have gone much worse, could have ended with his friends dead and him as a hollow rockstar who betrayed the people he loved the most.

So even though he had loved Queenie (was probably still in love with her) and things with the band were quickly going downhill, he couldn’t bring himself to be entirely as depressed about those facts as he would have expected. He had his friends, they had each other, and they still had music. That wasn’t something anyone could take from them. It wasn’t perfect but it was enough. For him it was enough.

But he was also a realist and the reality was that things with the band weren’t working.

By the time they made it back to the questionable motel where they were staying for the night they were all dragging even more. Alex and Reggie disappeared into one of the rooms right away, barely pausing to wave goodnight to Bobby and Luke before they were shutting the door in their faces and presumably collapsing directly into bed. At the start of the tour they had all four shared a room in an effort to make their almost nonexistent tour budget stretch a little further but Alex had promptly declared Luke’s talking (and sometimes singing) in his sleep to be a crime against humanity and that to avoid him ending up with a murder charge they were going to need seperate rooms. Reggie had immediately started listing off various games he and Bobby could play to decide who got stuck sharing with Luke but Bobby had shut them all up by volunteering. That had earned him an odd look from Alex but Luke had clapped him on the back and made a speech about how it was nice to have someone on his side and the warm feeling that bloomed in Bobby’s chest was enough to help him forget opening his mouth meant he wouldn’t be sleeping much for the rest of the tour.

If he was being honest though he hadn’t exactly slept well for the better part of 2 years now. Even before Julie had arrived and all the madness that followed, Bobby had spent most nights laying awake for hours unable to fully ignore the fact that Luke was out in Wonderland curled up uncomfortably on that damn couch he still hadn’t figured out folded out. Bobby had spent a lot of time thinking about that and why exactly he could neither bring himself to go out and unfold the dumb bed himself and make sure Luke was ok or just fall asleep and ignore his friend’s relative comfort. So instead he had drifted off most nights tossing and turning, worrying about the boy who was so close and yet a world away.

So it really wasn’t that big of an adjustment for Bobby to be lying awake in various seedy motel rooms, trying no to think about how thoroughly the sheets had been cleaned and listening for the even breaths that would indicate his friend was getting some rest. He was often awakened again before long when Luke started talking in his sleep, snippets of nonsense bleeding into half-finished song lyrics fading into Julie’s name.

Bobby pretended to be asleep. He pretended not to hear.

He was a coward in some ways, always had been.

He didn’t have Alex’s wise advice or Reggie’s unexpected insights or Luke’s inspiring speeches. He didn’t have Queenie’s blunt truth telling. He didn’t even have Julie’s ability to make everything better simply by making sure you knew she was with you.

He just had good intentions and a tendency to avoid his problems, a useless combination.

But even he couldn’t ignore the way on this particular night Luke’s breathing never did even out. Instead, after barely twenty minutes of both of them lying still in their uncomfortable beds, Bobby listened as Luke slipped out of bed, pulled on his sneakers and slipped outside. He instantly sat up in the darkness and debated his next move. The typical Bobby move would be to lay back down and pretend he hadn’t noticed. That’s probably what Luke expected him to do. It might have even been what he wanted Bobby to do.

But Bobby was so sick of turning away and pretending he didn’t see what was happening around him. Pretending he didn’t see the blow up between Queenie and Luke coming, pretending he didn’t see that Julie was hiding something, pretending the writing wasn’t on the wall when it came to the future of Sunset Curve. Pretending he didn’t see how Luke still missed Julie like a phantom limb, an empty space that nonetheless managed to be an aching wound. Pretending Queenie didn’t represent the same to him. Pretending that despite the fact that he had loved Queenie (probably still did) he also thought...maybe...the other ache he felt came from loving something else...someone else...so much closer yet just as out of reach.

That wasn’t something he could ever say out loud. It just wasn’t. He was a realist and the reality was that Luke had loved Julie, still did and always would in a way that Bobby couldn’t fully understand even though he had witnessed it up close. He was never going to be the brave one, the one who told the truth just for the sake of doing it, just for an impossible chance.

So he couldn’t say out loud his inconvenient truth that maybe he had fallen in love with his best friend, just a little bit. He couldn’t.

But he could force his sock clad feet down onto the disgusting motel carpet. He could put his shoes on and slip outside and make sure his best friend was ok.

He could do that.

So he did.

At first as he blinked into the semi-darkness of the parking lot, a few flickering bulbs the only available source of light, he didn’t spot Luke at all. He felt a brief sense of rising panic flicker through him until the sound of shifting metal had his eyes darting over to the spot where Beatrice was parked. He squinted and could just make out Luke’s silhouette, hauling himself up onto the roof of Bobby’s van.

Bobby’s concern quickly melted into annoyance as he stomped over, coming to a stop next to his van and hissing up at the boy on top.

“What the hell are you doing up there?” Bobby demanded. “You’re going to put so many dents in the roof!”

Luke just scoffed, leaning over to peer down at Bobby with an annoyingly not at all repentant smile.

“Come on, Bobby,” He fired back. “Beatrice is 90% dents at this point. It’s part of her charm.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong there.

“That doesn’t explain why you’re up there,” Bobby grumbled.

Some of the cockiness drained out of Luke’s voice when he spoke again.

“Couldn’t sleep. Sometimes...sometimes looking at the stars helps.”

Bobby didn’t have to ask what exactly looking at the stars helped. He knew. And it wasn’t falling asleep.

It was missing Julie.

So Bobby didn’t fire back any of the relevant and bitingly hilarious retorts on the tip of his tongue. He simply sighed deeply before gripping the hood and hauling himself up to join his friend. If Luke was surprised by his decision he didn’t say anything, only reached his hand down to help pull Bobby up the rest of the way until they were both settled on the roof. Luke laid back and rested one of his arms behind his head as a pillow and Bobby mirrored him on the other side, their shoulders just brushing.

He had to admit, the view of the sky was a lot better than it had any right to be given where they were. Apparently they were just far enough outside of the city that the stars had a chance against the glow of civilization. The tiny pinpricks of light stretched out as far as he could see, their patterns and forms probably lost on Luke but he doubted his friend had come up here for a lesson on constellations and myths so Bobby kept his mouth shut.

Or at least he did for about 30 seconds before he glanced over at Luke and immediately regretted that decision. It was too hard to ignore all of the things he had been working so hard lately to ignore when they were this close.

He cleared his throat and brought his focus back to the reason he had followed Luke out in the first place.

“Any better?” He asked simply, rolling his head back to its original position so he could stare at the much safer vision of the stars again.

Bobby felt Luke shrug, his shoulder jostling against Bobby’s briefly.

“A little,” He said, sucking in a deep breath and then releasing it. “I just figure these are probably the same stars Julie’s looking at, you know?”

“Except for the ones obscured by 25 years of additional light pollution,” Bobby agreed.

“Wow, thanks, buddy,” Luke said dejectedly.

Bobby sighed and tried again.

“You know none of the stars we’re seeing are actually as they appear now, right? They’re so far away that even though that light is traveling to us extremely quickly it can still take years to get here.”

“I didn’t come up here for Bobby’s science time,” Luke mumbled.

“I’m saying that looking at the stars is like looking into the past,” Bobby insisted. “Julie’s probably not only looking up at the same stars, some of the one’s she’s seeing are how they appeared right here, right now. Isn’t that kind of cool?”

There was a brief pause giving Bobby just enough time to wonder if he had blown it again before Luke answered.

“Yeah,” Luke grumbled begrudgingly. “That is cool.”

Bobby couldn’t help but smile in satisfaction at that. Science could be comforting at times even if literature was his first love. The point was it had worked and he and Luke were back on solid ground again, or at least back on the creaking and protesting roof of his poor van.

“Have you heard from Queenie?” Luke asked, startling Bobby from his thoughts.

Bobby stiffened and shook his head before realizing it was too dark for Luke to see that gesture.

“Nah,” He answered, keeping his voice forcibly casual.

“Sorry,” Luke said simply.

“I’m sorry it’s still so hard,” Bobby returned. “Without Julie.”

“It’s fine,” Luke replied quickly. “Well, not fine, it’s hard everyday. You know that, but...I’m ok. I really am. You don’t have to worry.”

“But I obviously do,” Bobby snapped before realizing his mistake. “I mean all of us do.”

If Luke noticed his slip he didn’t comment on it.

“I’m always going to miss her,” He said softly. “But I believe she’s happy with her family and I have you guys and music and I’m happy too. Mostly. Usually.”

Bobby tried and failed not to let that traitorous warmth grow in his chest again at the thought of being one of the things that made Luke happy.

It wasn’t working.

So he turned his attention to the other thing that wasn’t working, the other conversation they needed to have, in an effort to distract himself.

“The tour’s almost over,” He started carefully. “Time to make some decisions.”

Luke let out another one of those deep breaths, Bobby instinctively scooting just half an inch closer until he could reassure himself with the feeling of Luke’s next inhale.

“I know,” Luke acknowledged, his voice sounding tired but not pained.

“Dec’s never going to let this band make it big,” Bobby continued gently. “And we’re almost out of money. Again.”

“I know that too,” Luke said softly. “I just wanted to finish out the tour before I made myself accept it. Even with all the struggling it has been pretty rad, hasn’t it?”

Bobby thought back to the hours and hours of driving in a smelly van and the gross motels and the cancellations and the crappy pay and the absolutely crushing exhaustion. He also thought back to the time spent with his best friends, and the small crowds singing their words back to them, and their dream, or at least some small portion of it that they had scraped and bled to come true.

He thought of Luke’s elated grin when they were playing their first song every night.

“Yeah,” He agreed with a soft smile that he knew Luke wouldn’t be able to see. “It’s been pretty rad.”

“We could keep trying…” Luke offered half-heartedly. “If we keep pushing long enough maybe something in this industry will give.”

“Or we’ll end up washed up and hating each other,” Bobby countered.

“That’s another possibility,” Luke sighed yet again. “But this is all we’ve got, Bobby.”

“Reggie’s been applying to film schools,” Bobby said, cringing at the groaning metal noise that came with Luke’s surprised reaction as he rolled toward his friend.

“He has? Why didn’t he tell me?” Luke asked.

“Nobody wants to let you down,” Bobby explained gently, turning his head to meet Luke’s confused gaze. “We love music, we do. We wanted this, so badly, you know that. But...it’s not like it is for you. It’s not...everything.”

“He could have told me,” Luke grumbled. “I would have been happy for him. I am happy for him.”

“Hey, you can tell him that tomorrow,” Bobby reassured him. “I figure we’re due for one last band meeting.”

“This sucks,” Luke huffed out, turning his head back up to the stars. “Like I don’t have any regrets cause we gave it our best shot, and I want all of you to be happy even if that’s not in the band. But on top of...well, everything else...it still sucks.”

“Yeah,” Bobby agreed simply. “It really sucks.”

“What are you going to do?” Luke asked.

“I don’t know,” Bobby offered honestly. “Maybe go to college? Study literature or psychology.”

“Don’t tell me you’re going to be a shrink like your parents,” Luke teased.

“Hey, I think we’ve all proven that there are a lot of kids out there who could use someone to talk to about their messed up family dynamics,” Bobby said.

“Too bad they might get stuck talking to you,” Luke joked, bumping his shoulder with Bobby’s and sending an incredibly annoying shock of happiness through him.

“Shut up,” Bobby mumbled, not meaning it. Not at all.

There were a few seconds of silence before Luke spoke up again.

“I really am happy for all of you to do whatever you want,” He said firmly. “Seriously. But I can’t give up on music.”

“I know,” Bobby said softly. “It won’t be easy.”

“Hey,” Luke replied. “I figure impossible is relative in my life at this point.”

Bobby couldn’t resist a short bark of laughter at that.

“Yeah, that’s fair.”

They were silent again for a few long moments before Bobby found just enough courage to give voice to one last fear.

“Hey, Luke? We’re still going to be friends right?”

Luke’s answer came quickly.

“Of course, man. You’re my best friend. Band or no band.”

Bobby nodded, not caring this time that Luke couldn’t see him. When he answered he could hear the held back tears in his voice and he was pretty sure Luke could too.

“Band or no band.”

Luke reached out blindly and latched his hand around Bobby’s, just for a second, but the contact was enough to leave Bobby’s fingers tingling long after his friend had retracted his.

He tried to pretend that it was just the result of some kind of electric shock but…it wasn’t working.

Still.

He couldn’t bring himself to be sad about managing to fall in love with yet another person who couldn’t give him everything he wanted.

Julie had taught them a lot of things but one of the big ones was that something didn’t have to end the way you hoped it would for it to be beautiful, and meaningful and worth it. Love didn’t have to be forever or even returned in the same way to be beautiful, and meaningful and worth it.

Bobby had loved both Queenie and Luke (he probably still did) and he didn’t regret either.

Queenie would always be someone he wished the best for from afar and Luke?

Luke would always be his best friend.

Band or no band.

And that would keep working

He would make sure of it.

#my fics #we found wonderland vibes #lobby #lukebobby #not canon #but some delicious pining for my friend #because what is friendship if not creating ultra specific splinter universes to cater to each other's tastes #HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILLY

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darkgreiga · 3 years

Text

My Actual job Description

Well, I can say that my company’s probably on fire because my situation kinda ignited the conflict of interest between the two BoDs. Let’s just call the CEO as A and the right hand man as B when their names come up.

My job title: senior programmer (when referred to clients) and manager of IT division (internally and functionally) Started working: officially January 2020, started with a three-month probation Promotion: December 2020 (premature promotion, initially I was offered with another three-month probation starting from January 2021) Initial tasks by contract: 3D animation rigging and scripting

Actual job list under the cut, because it’s gonna be long.

My actual job list:

3D animation rigging (Jan 20 - March 20)

Python scripting to speed up humanoid rigging (Jan 20 - March 20, done voluntarily outside the contract)

3D modeling (Jan 20, outside contract and not by my own free will because I don’t want to model)

Add student names to certificate templates (February 20, outside contract and not by my own free will)

Mobile app developer using React Native (March 20 - May 20, outside initial contract but still fits my educational background, but had to handle 3 apps at once in a team of just me and a senior)

Make Python scripting tutorials (May 20 - June 20, outside ‘new’ contract, but paid by content instead of working hours and I don’t know the first thing about making tutorials)

Develop a simulation game that’s based on CodeIgniter (June 20 - November 20, 2 months deadline delay because the client kept asking for more features outside project contract and I had to work overtime to completely change the layout of the whole game in two days)

Build a donation website using Wordpress and Woocommerce (November 20 - Jan 21, overseas client and the one who appreciates me the most out of all clients and even compared to the 2 BoDs)

Update the office website’s domain and hosting (Dec 20 - Jan 21, not my area of expertise and I hadn’t a single clue about what to update and what to take out from the annual payment)

Provide the job description for a new employee under my wing and train that said employee (Dec 20)

Continue the development for the project #7 in this list (Dec 20 - March 21, my client often contacted me for work matters outside work hours and B, as the one I was responsible to, told me that it was normal because of my position as a manager)

Build various trial projects as attempts to snatch another client (March 21 - June 21, the areas were far from my own expertise, ranging from VR, AR, Codeigniter, React Native, FTP setup)

Suddenly got called to meet for a blockchain game project (June 21, the project was approved despite the company’s lack of experience in game development)

Another sudden call for another short notice project for both mobile app and website (June 21, project was approved despite the then potential blockchain game project)

Blockchain game project API (June 21 - sometime in 2023, while helping the game team to troubleshoot issues with Unity)

Android app (June 21 - December 21, initially ended in Aug but to have the contract extended until December, very demanding despite the 7-8 hours daily in contract)

Provide job description for hiring more developers in backend and game section and interview potential new recruits (Sept 21)

Check work contracts for potential new recruits (Sept 21)

Setup time for me to explain to both A and B about why projects #15 and #16 cannot run in parallel without issues (Sept 21, not yet done but I don’t even have to do this if they are smarter)

Supervise and take notes of a freelance employee’s working hours (Sept 21)

Handle technical stuff like hosting management, fixing printers, and checking office Wifi

Always on standby to be called outside of working hours and must be available to work immediately when needed

If you’re wondering why I complain when I’m supposed to be handsomely rewarded for all the overtime and out-of-contract jobs, well, because I don’t get rewarded outside my salary.

They never paid my overtime because I was mostly working from home at that time, they gave me odd jobs because ‘I was the only one who could do it’ when they could at least spend a few minutes to learn, and they have never given me or my team a bonus after finishing a project. The only ‘bonus’ would only be a praise and only a praise, because a pay rise is merely an empty promise.

I can freely use the office computer for my work, but everyone else is also free to tell me that they have urgent work to do and that they needed to use the computer. And yes, my work is halted without the computer and B has every right to complain if I don’t get my work done and they refused to buy another computer because of ‘the lack of funds’.

Both A and B are basically at war with each other because of the projects #15 and #16 and I regret that I work from home so that I couldn’t see the raging war.

Lastly, I can’t disclose the actual number of my salary, but I can at least compare it to my current living condition: 10 months worth of my salary goes to paying my annual rent. I have 2 months plus 1 month bonus and it’s barely enough for my own daily needs, let alone for me and my mom.

#random post #shitpost #venting #work issues #office war #actual job description #what contract?#what is a project bonus

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tswiftdaily · 5 years

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In the 2010s, she went from country superstar to pop titan and broke records with chart-topping albums and blockbuster tours. Now Swift is using her industry clout to fight for artists’ rights and foster the musical community she wished she had coming up.

One evening in late-October, before she performed at a benefit concert at the Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles, Taylor Swift’s dressing room became -- as it often does -- an impromptu summit of music’s biggest names. Swift was there to take part in the American Cancer Society’s annual We Can Survive concert alongside Billie Eilish, Lizzo, Camila Cabello and others, and a few of the artists on the lineup came by to visit.

Eilish, along with her mother and her brother/collaborator, Finneas O’Connell, popped in to say hello -- the first time she and Swift had met. Later, Swift joined the exclusive club of people who have seen Marshmello without his signature helmet when the EDM star and his manager stopped by.

“Two dudes walked in -- I didn’t know which one was him,” recalls Swift a few weeks later, sitting on a lounge chair in the backyard of a private Beverly Hills residence following a photo shoot. Her momentary confusion turned into a pang of envy. “It’s really smart! Because he’s got a life, and he can get a house that doesn’t have to have a paparazzi-proof entrance.” She stops to adjust her gray sweatshirt dress and lets out a clipped laugh.

Swift, who will celebrate her 30th birthday on Dec. 13, has been impossibly famous for nearly half of her lifetime. She was 16 when she released her self-titled debut album in 2006, and 20 when her second album, Fearless, won the Grammy Award for album of the year in 2010, making her the youngest artist to ever receive the honor. As the decade comes to a close, Swift is one of the most accomplished musical acts of all time: 37.3 million albums sold, according to Nielsen Music; 95 entries on the Billboard Hot 100 (including five No. 1s); 23 Billboard Music Awards; 12 Country Music Association Awards; 10 Grammys; and five world tours.

She also finishes the decade in a totally different realm of the music world from where she started. Swift’s crossover from country to pop -- hinted at on 2012’s Red and fully embraced on 2014’s 1989 -- reflected a mainstream era in which genres were blended with little abandon, where artists with roots in country, folk and trap music could join forces without anyone raising eyebrows. (See: Swift’s top 20 hit “End Game,” from 2017’s reputation, which featured Ed Sheeran and Future.)

Swift’s new album, Lover, released in August, is both a warm break from the darkness of reputation -- which was created during a wave of negative press generated by Swift’s public clash with Kanye West and Kim Kardashian-West -- as well as an amalgam of all her stylistic explorations through the years, from dreamy synth-pop to hushed country. “The skies were opening up in my life,” says Swift of the album, which garnered three Grammy nominations, including song of the year for the title track.

She recorded Lover after the Reputation Stadium Tour broke the record for the highest-grossing U.S. tour late last year. In 2020, Swift will embark on Lover Fest, a run of stadium dates that will feature a hand-picked lineup of artists (as yet unannounced) and allow Swift more time off from the road. “This is a year where I have to be there for my family -- there’s a lot of question marks throughout the next year, so I wanted to make sure that I could go home,” says Swift, likely referencing her mother’s cancer diagnosis, which inspired the Lover heart-wrencher “Soon You’ll Get Better.”

Now, however, Swift finds herself in a different highly publicized dispute. This time it’s with Scott Borchetta, the head of her former label, Big Machine Records, and Scooter Braun, the manager-mogul whose Ithaca Holdings acquired Big Machine Label Group and its master recordings, which include Swift’s six pre-Lover albums, in June. Upon news of the sale, Swift wrote in a Tumblr post that it was her “worst case scenario,” accusing Braun of “bullying” her throughout her career due to his connections with West. She maintains today that she was never given the opportunity to buy her masters outright. (On Tumblr, she wrote that she was offered the chance to “earn” back the masters to one of her albums for each new album she turned in if she re-signed with Big Machine; Borchetta disputed this characterization, saying she had the opportunity to acquire her masters in exchange for re-signing with the label for a “length of time” -- 10 more years, according to screenshots of legal documents posted on the Big Machine website.)

Swift has said that she intends to rerecord her first six albums next year -- starting next November, when she says she’s contractually able to -- in order to regain control of her recordings. But the back-and-forth appears to be nowhere near over: Last month, Swift alleged that Borchetta and Braun were blocking her from performing her past hits at the American Music Awards or using them in an upcoming Netflix documentary -- claims Big Machine characterized as “false information” in a response that did not get into specifics. (Swift ultimately performed the medley she had planned.) In the weeks following this interview, Braun said he was open to “all possibilities” in finding a “resolution,” and Billboard sources say that includes negotiating a sale. Swift remains interested in buying her masters, though the price could be a sticking point, given her rerecording plans, the control she has over the licensing of her music for film and TV, and the market growth since Braun’s acquisition.

However it plays out, the battle over her masters is the latest in a series of moves that has turned Swift into something of an advocate for artists’ rights -- and made her a cause that everyone from Halsey to Elizabeth Warren has rallied behind. From 2014 to 2017, Swift withheld her catalog from Spotify to protest the streaming company’s compensation rates, saying in a 2014 interview, “There should be an inherent value placed on art. I didn’t see that happening, perception-wise, when I put my music on Spotify.” In 2015, ahead of the launch of Apple Music, Swift wrote an open letter criticizing Apple for its plan to not pay royalties during the three-month free trial it was set to offer listeners; the company announced a new policy within 24 hours. Most recently, when she signed a new global deal with Universal Music Group in 2018, Swift (who is now on Republic Records) said one of the conditions of her contract was that UMG share proceeds from any sale of its Spotify equity with its roster of artists -- and make them nonrecoupable against those artists’ earnings.

During a wide-ranging conversation, Billboard’s Woman of the Decade expresses hope that she can help make the lives of creators a little easier in the years to come -- and a belief that her behind-the-scenes strides will be as integral to her legacy as her biggest singles. “New artists and producers and writers need work, and they need to be likable and get booked in sessions, and they can’t make noise -- but if I can, then I’m going to,” promises Swift. This is where being impossibly famous can be a very good thing. “I know that it seems like I’m very loud about this,” she says, “but it’s because someone has to be.”

While watching some of your performances this year -- like Saturday Night Live and NPR’s Tiny Desk Concert -- I was struck by how focused you seemed, like there were no distractions getting in the way of what you were trying to say.

That’s a really wonderful way of looking at this phase of my life and my music. I’ve spent a lot of time recalibrating my life to make it feel manageable. Because there were some years there where I felt like I didn’t quite know what exactly to give people and what to hold back, what to share and what to protect. I think a lot of people go through that, especially in the last decade. I broke through pre-social media, and then there was this phase where social media felt fun and casual and quirky and safe. And then it got to the point where everyone has to evaluate their relationship with social media. So I decided that the best thing I have to offer people is my music. I’m not really here to influence their fashion or their social lives. That has bled through into the live part of what I do.

Meanwhile, you’ve found a way to interact with your fans in this very pure way -- on your Tumblr page.

Tumblr is the last place on the internet where I feel like I can still make a joke because it feels small, like a neighborhood rather than an entire continent. We can kid around -- they literally drag me. It’s fun. That’s a real comfort zone for me. And just like anything else, I need breaks from it sometimes. But when I do participate in that space, it’s always in a very inside-joke, friend vibe. Sometimes, when I open Twitter, I get so overwhelmed that I just immediately close it. I haven’t had Twitter on my phone in a while because I don’t like to have too much news. Like, I follow politics, and that’s it. But I don’t like to follow who has broken up with who, or who wore an interesting pair of shoes. There’s only so much bandwidth my brain can really have.

It’s sort of an amalgamation of all of it. People who aren’t active fans of your music, who like one song but love to hear who has been canceled on Twitter. I’ve had several upheavals of somehow not being what I should be. And this happens to women in music way more than men. That’s why I get so many phone calls from new artists out of the blue -- like, “Hey, I’m getting my first wave of bad press, I’m freaking out, can I talk to you?” And the answer is always yes! I’m talking about more than 20 people who have randomly reached out to me. I take it as a compliment because it means that they see what has happened over the course of my career, over and over again.

Did you have someone like that to reach out to?

Not really, because my career has existed in lots of different neighborhoods of music. I had so many mentors in country music. Faith Hill was wonderful. She would reach out to me and invite me over and take me on tour, and I knew that I could talk to her. Crossing over to pop is a completely different world. Country music is a real community, and in pop I didn’t see that community as much. Now there is a bit of one between the girls in pop -- we all have each other’s numbers and text each other -- but when I first started out in pop it was very much you versus you versus you. We didn’t have a network, which is weird because we can help each other through these moments when you just feel completely isolated.

Do you feel like those barriers are actively being broken down now?

God, I hope so. I also hope people can call it out, [like] if you see a Grammy prediction article, and it’s just two women’s faces next to each other and feels a bit gratuitous. No one’s going to start out being perfectly educated on the intricacies of gender politics. The key is that people are trying to learn, and that’s great. No one’s going to get it perfect, but, God, please try.

At this point, who is your sounding board, creatively and professionally?

From a creative standpoint, I’ve been writing alone a lot more. I’m good with being alone, with thinking alone. When I come up with a marketing idea for the Lover tour, the album launch, the merch, I’ll go right to my management company that I’ve put together. I think a team is the best way to be managed. Just from my experience, I don’t think that this overarching, one-person-handles-my-career thing was ever going to work for me. Because that person ends up kind of being me who comes up with most of the ideas, and then I have an amazing team that facilitates those ideas.

The behind-the-scenes work is different for every phase of my career that I’m in. Putting together the festival shows that we’re doing for Lover is completely different than putting together the Reputation Stadium Tour. Putting together the reputation launch was so different than putting together the 1989 launch. So we really do attack things case by case, where the creative first informs everything else.

You’ve spoken before about how meaningful the reputation tour’s success was. What did it represent?

That tour was something that I wanted to immortalize in the Netflix special that we did because the album was a story, but it almost was like a story that wasn’t fully realized until you saw it live. It was so cool to hear people leaving the show being like, “I understand it now. I fully get it now.” There are a lot of red herrings and bait-and-switches in the choices that I’ll make with albums, because I want people to go and explore the body of work. You can never express how you feel over the course of an album in a single, so why try?

That seems especially true of your last three albums or so.

“Shake It Off” is nothing like the rest of 1989. It’s almost like I feel so much pressure with a first single that I don’t want the first single to be something that makes you feel like you’ve figured out what I’ve made on the rest of the project. I still truly believe in albums, whatever form you consume them in -- if you want to stream them or buy them or listen to them on vinyl. And I don’t think that makes me a staunch purist. I think that that is a strong feeling throughout the music industry. We’re running really fast toward a singles industry, but you got to believe in something. I still believe that albums are important.

The music industry has become increasingly global during the past decade. Is reaching new markets something you think about?

Yeah, and I’m always trying to learn. I’m learning from everyone. I’m learning when I go see Bruce Springsteen or Madonna do a theater show. And I’m learning from new artists who are coming out right now, just seeing what they’re doing and thinking, “That’s really cool.” You need to keep your influences broad and wide-ranging, and my favorite people who make music have always done that. I got to work with Andrew Lloyd Webber on the Cats movie, and Andrew will walk through the door and be like, “I’ve just seen this amazing thing on TikTok!” And I’m like, “You are it! You are it!” Because you cannot look at what quote-unquote “the kids are doing” and roll your eyes. You have to learn.

Have you explored TikTok at all?

I only see them when they’re posted to Tumblr, but I love them! I think that they’re hilarious and amazing. Andrew says that they’ve made musicals cool again, because there’s a huge musical facet to TikTok. [He’s] like, “Any way we can do that is good.”

How do you see your involvement in the business side of your career progressing in the next decade? You seem like someone who could eventually start a label or be more hands-on with signing artists.

I do think about it every once in a while, but if I was going to do it, I would need to do it with all of my energy. I know how important that is, when you’ve got someone else’s career in your hands, and I know how it feels when someone isn’t generous.

You’ve served as an ambassador of sorts for artists, especially recently -- staring down streaming services over payouts, increasing public awareness about the terms of record deals.

We have a long way to go. I think that we’re working off of an antiquated contractual system. We’re galloping toward a new industry but not thinking about recalibrating financial structures and compensation rates, taking care of producers and writers.

We need to think about how we handle master recordings, because this isn’t it. When I stood up and talked about this, I saw a lot of fans saying, “Wait, the creators of this work do not own their work, ever?” I spent 10 years of my life trying rigorously to purchase my masters outright and was then denied that opportunity, and I just don’t want that to happen to another artist if I can help it. I want to at least raise my hand and say, “This is something that an artist should be able to earn back over the course of their deal -- not as a renegotiation ploy -- and something that artists should maybe have the first right of refusal to buy.” God, I would have paid so much for them! Anything to own my work that was an actual sale option, but it wasn’t given to me.

Thankfully, there’s power in writing your music. Every week, we get a dozen synch requests to use “Shake It Off” in some advertisement or “Blank Space” in some movie trailer, and we say no to every single one of them. And the reason I’m rerecording my music next year is because I do want my music to live on. I do want it to be in movies, I do want it to be in commercials. But I only want that if I own it.

Do you know how long that rerecording process will take?

I don’t know! But it’s going to be fun, because it’ll feel like regaining a freedom and taking back what’s mine. When I created [these songs], I didn’t know what they would grow up to be. Going back in and knowing that it meant something to people is actually a really beautiful way to celebrate what the fans have done for my music.

Ten years ago, on the brink of the 2010s, you were about to turn 20. What advice would you give yourself if you could go back in time?

Oh, God -- I wouldn’t give myself any advice. I would have done everything exactly the same way. Because even the really tough things I’ve gone through taught me things that I never would have learned any other way. I really appreciate my experience, the ups and downs. And maybe that seems ridiculously Zen, but … I’ve got my friends, who like me for the right reasons. I’ve got my family. I’ve got my boyfriend. I’ve got my fans. I’ve got my cats.

#taylor swift #interview #billboard #women in music #woman of the decade

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path-of-my-childhood · 5 years

Text

Billboard Woman of the Decade Taylor Swift: 'I Do Want My Music to Live On'

By: Jason Lipshutz for Billboard Magazine Date: December 14th issue

One evening in late October, before she performed at a benefit concert at the Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles, Taylor Swift’s dressing room became - as it often does - an impromptu summit of music’s biggest names. Swift was there to take part in the American Cancer Society’s annual We Can Survive concert alongside Billie Eilish, Lizzo, Camila Cabello and others, and a few of the artists on the lineup came by to visit.

Eilish, along with her mother and her brother/collaborator, Finneas O’Connell, popped in to say hello - the first time she and Swift had met. Later, Swift joined the exclusive club of people who have seen Marshmello without his signature helmet when the EDM star and his manager stopped by.

“Two dudes walked in - I didn’t know which one was him,” recalls Swift a few weeks later, sitting on a lounge chair in the backyard of a private Beverly Hills residence following a photo shoot. Her momentary confusion turned into a pang of envy. “It’s really smart! Because he’s got a life, and he can get a house that doesn’t have to have a paparazzi-proof entrance.” She stops to adjust her gray sweatshirt dress and lets out a clipped laugh.

She also finishes the decade in a totally different realm of the music world from where she started. Swift’s crossover from country to pop - hinted at on 2012’s Red and fully embraced on 2014’s 1989 - reflected a mainstream era in which genres were blended with little abandon, where artists with roots in country, folk and trap music could join forces without anyone raising eyebrows. (See: Swift’s top 20 hit “End Game,” from 2017’s reputation, which featured Ed Sheeran and Future.)

Swift’s new album, Lover, released in August, is both a warm break from the darkness of reputation - which was created during a wave of negative press generated by Swift’s public clash with Kanye West and Kim Kardashian-West - as well as an amalgam of all her stylistic explorations through the years, from dreamy synth-pop to hushed country. “The skies were opening up in my life,” says Swift of the album, which garnered three Grammy nominations, including song of the year for the title track.

She recorded Lover after the Reputation Stadium Tour broke the record for the highest-grossing U.S. tour late last year. In 2020, Swift will embark on Lover Fest, a run of stadium dates that will feature a hand-picked lineup of artists (as yet unannounced) and allow Swift more time off from the road. “This is a year where I have to be there for my family - there’s a lot of question marks throughout the next year, so I wanted to make sure that I could go home,” says Swift, likely referencing her mother’s cancer diagnosis, which inspired the Lover heart-wrencher “Soon You’ll Get Better.”

Now, however, Swift finds herself in a different highly publicized dispute. This time it’s with Scott Borchetta, the head of her former label, Big Machine Records, and Scooter Braun, the manager-mogul whose Ithaca Holdings acquired Big Machine Label Group and its master recordings, which include Swift’s six pre-Lover albums, in June. Upon news of the sale, Swift wrote in a Tumblr post that it was her “worst case scenario,” accusing Braun of “bullying” her throughout her career due to his connections with West. She maintains today that she was never given the opportunity to buy her masters outright. (On Tumblr, she wrote that she was offered the chance to “earn” back the masters to one of her albums for each new album she turned in if she re-signed with Big Machine; Borchetta disputed this characterization, saying she had the opportunity to acquire her masters in exchange for re-signing with the label for a “length of time” - 10 more years, according to screenshots of legal documents posted on the Big Machine website.)

Swift has said that she intends to rerecord her first six albums next year, starting next November, when she says she’s contractually able to - in order to regain control of her recordings. But the back-and-forth appears to be nowhere near over: Last month, Swift alleged that Borchetta and Braun were blocking her from performing her past hits at the American Music Awards or using them in an upcoming Netflix documentary - claims Big Machine characterized as “false information” in a response that did not get into specifics. (Swift ultimately performed the medley she had planned.) In the weeks following this interview, Braun said he was open to “all possibilities” in finding a “resolution,” and Billboard sources say that includes negotiating a sale. Swift remains interested in buying her masters, though the price could be a sticking point, given her rerecording plans, the control she has over the licensing of her music for film and TV, and the market growth since Braun’s acquisition.

However it plays out, the battle over her masters is the latest in a series of moves that has turned Swift into something of an advocate for artists’ rights, and made her a cause that everyone from Halsey to Elizabeth Warren has rallied behind. From 2014 to 2017, Swift withheld her catalog from Spotify to protest the streaming company’s compensation rates, saying in a 2014 interview, “There should be an inherent value placed on art. I didn’t see that happening, perception-wise, when I put my music on Spotify.” In 2015, ahead of the launch of Apple Music, Swift wrote an open letter criticizing Apple for its plan to not pay royalties during the three-month free trial it was set to offer listeners; the company announced a new policy within 24 hours. Most recently, when she signed a new global deal with Universal Music Group in 2018, Swift (who is now on Republic Records) said one of the conditions of her contract was that UMG share proceeds from any sale of its Spotify equity with its roster of artists - and make them non-recoupable against those artists’ earnings.

During a wide-ranging conversation, Billboard’s Woman of the Decade expresses hope that she can help make the lives of creators a little easier in the years to come - and a belief that her behind-the-scenes strides will be as integral to her legacy as her biggest singles. “New artists and producers and writers need work, and they need to be likable and get booked in sessions, and they can’t make noise - but if I can, then I’m going to,” promises Swift. This is where being impossibly famous can be a very good thing. “I know that it seems like I’m very loud about this,” she says, “but it’s because someone has to be.”

While watching some of your performances this year - like SNL and NPR’s Tiny Desk Concert - I was struck by how focused you seemed, like there were no distractions getting in the way of what you were trying to say. That’s a really wonderful way of looking at this phase of my life and my music. I’ve spent a lot of time re-calibrating my life to make it feel manageable. Because there were some years there where I felt like I didn’t quite know what exactly to give people and what to hold back, what to share and what to protect. I think a lot of people go through that, especially in the last decade. I broke through pre-social media, and then there was this phase where social media felt fun and casual and quirky and safe. And then it got to the point where everyone has to evaluate their relationship with social media. So I decided that the best thing I have to offer people is my music. I’m not really here to influence their fashion or their social lives. That has bled through into the live part of what I do.

Meanwhile, you’ve found a way to interact with your fans in this very pure way - on your Tumblr page. Tumblr is the last place on the internet where I feel like I can still make a joke because it feels small, like a neighborhood rather than an entire continent. We can kid around - they literally drag me. It’s fun. That’s a real comfort zone for me. And just like anything else, I need breaks from it sometimes. But when I do participate in that space, it’s always in a very inside-joke, friend vibe. Sometimes, when I open Twitter, I get so overwhelmed that I just immediately close it. I haven’t had Twitter on my phone in a while because I don’t like to have too much news. Like, I follow politics, and that’s it. But I don’t like to follow who has broken up with who, or who wore an interesting pair of shoes. There’s only so much bandwidth my brain can really have.

You’ve spoken in recent interviews about the general expectations you’ve faced, using phrases like “They’ve wanted to see this” and “They hated me for this.” Who is “they”? Is it social media or disparaging think pieces or... It’s sort of an amalgamation of all of it. People who aren’t active fans of your music, who like one song but love to hear who has been canceled on Twitter. I’ve had several upheavals of somehow not being what I should be. And this happens to women in music way more than men. That’s why I get so many phone calls from new artists out of the blue - like, “Hey, I’m getting my first wave of bad press, I’m freaking out, can I talk to you?” And the answer is always yes! I’m talking about more than 20 people who have randomly reached out to me. I take it as a compliment because it means that they see what has happened over the course of my career, over and over again.

Did you have someone like that to reach out to? Not really, because my career has existed in lots of different neighborhoods of music. I had so many mentors in country music. Faith Hill was wonderful. She would reach out to me and invite me over and take me on tour, and I knew that I could talk to her. Crossing over to pop is a completely different world. Country music is a real community, and in pop I didn’t see that community as much. Now there is a bit of one between the girls in pop - we all have each other’s numbers and text each other - but when I first started out in pop it was very much you versus you versus you. We didn’t have a network, which is weird because we can help each other through these moments when you just feel completely isolated.

Do you feel like those barriers are actively being broken down now? God, I hope so. I also hope people can call it out, [like] if you see a Grammy prediction article, and it’s just two women’s faces next to each other and feels a bit gratuitous. No one’s going to start out being perfectly educated on the intricacies of gender politics. The key is that people are trying to learn, and that’s great. No one’s going to get it perfect, but, God, please try.

At this point, who is your sounding board, creatively and professionally From a creative standpoint, I’ve been writing alone a lot more. I’m good with being alone, with thinking alone. When I come up with a marketing idea for the Lover tour, the album launch, the merch, I’ll go right to my management company that I’ve put together. I think a team is the best way to be managed. Just from my experience, I don’t think that this overarching, one-person-handles-my-career thing was ever going to work for me. Because that person ends up kind of being me who comes up with most of the ideas, and then I have an amazing team that facilitates those ideas. The behind-the-scenes work is different for every phase of my career that I’m in. Putting together the festival shows that we’re doing for Lover is completely different than putting together the Reputation Stadium Tour. Putting together the reputation launch was so different than putting together the 1989 launch. So we really do attack things case by case, where the creative first informs everything else.

You’ve spoken before about how meaningful the reputation tour’s success was. What did it represent? That tour was something that I wanted to immortalize in the Netflix special that we did because the album was a story, but it almost was like a story that wasn’t fully realized until you saw it live. It was so cool to hear people leaving the show being like, “I understand it now. I fully get it now.” There are a lot of red herrings and bait-and-switches in the choices that I’ll make with albums, because I want people to go and explore the body of work. You can never express how you feel over the course of an album in a single, so why try?

That seems especially true of your last three albums or so. “Shake It Off” is nothing like the rest of 1989. It’s almost like I feel so much pressure with a first single that I don’t want the first single to be something that makes you feel like you’ve figured out what I’ve made on the rest of the project. I still truly believe in albums, whatever form you consume them in - if you want to stream them or buy them or listen to them on vinyl. And I don’t think that makes me a staunch purist. I think that that is a strong feeling throughout the music industry. We’re running really fast toward a singles industry, but you got to believe in something. I still believe that albums are important.

The music industry has become increasingly global during the past decade. Is reaching new markets something you think about? Yeah, and I’m always trying to learn. I’m learning from everyone. I’m learning when I go see Bruce Springsteen or Madonna do a theater show. And I’m learning from new artists who are coming out right now, just seeing what they’re doing and thinking, “That’s really cool.” You need to keep your influences broad and wide-ranging, and my favorite people who make music have always done that. I got to work with Andrew Lloyd Webber on the Cats movie, and Andrew will walk through the door and be like, “I’ve just seen this amazing thing on TikTok!” And I’m like, “You are it! You are it!” Because you cannot look at what quote-unquote “the kids are doing” and roll your eyes. You have to learn.

Have you explored TikTok at all? I only see them when they’re posted to Tumblr, but I love them! I think that they’re hilarious and amazing. Andrew says that they’ve made musicals cool again, because there’s a huge musical facet to TikTok. [He’s] like, “Any way we can do that is good.”

How do you see your involvement in the business side of your career progressing in the next decade? You seem like someone who could eventually start a label or be more hands-on with signing artists. I do think about it every once in a while, but if I was going to do it, I would need to do it with all of my energy. I know how important that is, when you’ve got someone else’s career in your hands, and I know how it feels when someone isn’t generous.

You’ve served as an ambassador of sorts for artists, especially recently - staring down streaming services over payouts, increasing public awareness about the terms of record deals. We have a long way to go. I think that we’re working off of an antiquated contractual system. We’re galloping toward a new industry but not thinking about re-calibrating financial structures and compensation rates, taking care of producers and writers. We need to think about how we handle master recordings, because this isn’t it. When I stood up and talked about this, I saw a lot of fans saying, “Wait, the creators of this work do not own their work, ever?” I spent 10 years of my life trying rigorously to purchase my masters outright and was then denied that opportunity, and I just don’t want that to happen to another artist if I can help it. I want to at least raise my hand and say, “This is something that an artist should be able to earn back over the course of their deal - not as a renegotiation ploy - and something that artists should maybe have the first right of refusal to buy.” God, I would have paid so much for them! Anything to own my work that was an actual sale option, but it wasn’t given to me. Thankfully, there’s power in writing your music. Every week, we get a dozen synch requests to use “Shake It Off” in some advertisement or “Blank Space” in some movie trailer, and we say no to every single one of them. And the reason I’m rerecording my music next year is because I do want my music to live on. I do want it to be in movies, I do want it to be in commercials. But I only want that if I own it.

Do you know how long that rerecording process will take? I don’t know! But it’s going to be fun, because it’ll feel like regaining a freedom and taking back what’s mine. When I created [these songs], I didn’t know what they would grow up to be. Going back in and knowing that it meant something to people is actually a really beautiful way to celebrate what the fans have done for my music.

Ten years ago, on the brink of the 2010s, you were about to turn 20. What advice would you give yourself if you could go back in time? Oh, God - I wouldn’t give myself any advice. I would have done everything exactly the same way. Because even the really tough things I’ve gone through taught me things that I never would have learned any other way. I really appreciate my experience, the ups and downs. And maybe that seems ridiculously Zen, but... I’ve got my friends, who like me for the right reasons. I’ve got my family. I’ve got my boyfriend. I’ve got my fans. I’ve got my cats.

Taylor Swift Discusses 'The Man' & 'It's Nice To Have a Friend' In Cover Story Outtakes

Billboard // by Jason Lipshutz // December 12th 2019

During her cover story interview for Billboard’s Women In Music issue, Taylor Swift discussed several aspects of her mega-selling seventh studio album Lover, including its creation after a personal “recalibrating” period, her stripped-down performances of its songs and her plans to showcase the full-length live with her Lover Fest shows next year. In two moments from the extended conversation that did not make the print story, Billboard’s Woman of the Decade also touched upon two of the album’s highlights, which double as a pair of the more interesting songs in her discography: “The Man” and “It’s Nice To Have A Friend.”

“The Man” imagines how Swift’s experience as a person, artist and figure within the music industry would have been different had she been a man, highlighting how much harder women have to work in order to succeed (“I’m so sick of running as fast as I can / Wondering if I’d get there quicker if I was a man,” she sings in the chorus). The song has become a fan favorite since the release of Lover, and Swift recently opened a career-spanning medley with the song at the 2019 American Music Awards.

When asked about “The Man,” Swift pointed out specific double standards that exist in everyday life and explained why she wanted to turn that frustration into a pop single. Read Swift’s full thoughts on “The Man” below:

“It was a song that I wrote from my personal experience, but also from a general experience that I’ve heard from women in all parts of our industry. And I think that, the more we can talk about it in a song like that, the better off we’ll be in a place to call it out when it’s happening. So many of these things are ingrained in even women, these perceptions, and it’s really about re-training your own brain to be less critical of women when we are not criticizing men for the same things. So many things that men do, you know, can be phoned-in that cannot be phoned-in for us. We have to really — God, we have to curate and cater everything, but we have to make it look like an accident. Because if we make a mistake, that’s our fault, but if we strategize so that we won’t make a mistake, we’re calculating.

“There is a bit of a damned-if-we-do, damned-if-we-don’t thing happening in music, and that’s why when I can, like, sit and talk and be like ‘Yeah, this sucks for me too,’ that feels good. When I go online and hear the stories of my fans talking about their experience in the working world, or even at school — the more we talk about it, the better off we’ll be. And I wanted to make it catchy for a reason — so that it would get stuck in people’s heads, [so] they would end up with a song about gender inequality stuck in their heads. And for me, that’s a good day.”

Meanwhile, the penultimate song on Lover, “It’s Nice To Have A Friend,” sounds unlike anything in Swift’s catalog thanks to its elliptical structure, lullaby-like tone and incorporation of steel drums and brass. When asked about the song, Swift talked about experimenting with her songwriting, as well as capturing a different angle of the emotional themes at the heart of Lover. Read Swift’s full thoughts on “It’s Nice To Have A Friend” below:

“It was fun to write a song that was just verses, because my whole body and soul wants to make a chorus — every time I sit down to write a song, I’m like, ‘Okay, chorus time, let’s get the chorus done.’ But with that song, it was more of like a poem, and a story and a vibe and a feeling of... I love metaphors that kind of have more than one meaning, and I think I loved the idea that, on an album called Lover, we all want love, we all want to find somebody to see our sights with and hear things with and experience things with.

“But at the end of the day we’ve been searching for that since we were kids! When you had a friend when you were nine years old, and that friend was all you talked about, and you wanted to have sleepovers and you wanted to walk down the street together and sit there drawing pictures together or be silent together, or be talking all night. We’re just looking for that, but endless sparks, as adults.”

Read the full Taylor Swift cover story here, and click here for more info on Billboard’s 2019 Women In Music event, during which Swift will be presented with the first-ever Woman of the Decade award.

[link to this tweet]

Was there ever a part of you that was like, “Oh shit, I like this darker vibe, let’s go even further down that path?” I really Loved Reputation because it felt like a rock opera, or a musical, doing it live. Doing that stadium show was so fun because it was so theatrical and so exciting to perform that, because it’s really cathartic! But I have to follow whatever direction my life is going in emotionally... The skies were opening up in my life. That’s what happened. But in a way that felt like a pink sky, a pink and purple sky, after a storm, and now it looks even more beautiful because it looked so stormy before. And that’s just like, I couldn't stop writing. I’ve never had an album with 18 songs on it before, and a lot of what I do is based on intuition. So, you know, I try not to overthink it. Who knows, there may be another dark album. I plan on doing lots of experimentation over the course of my career. Who knows? But it was a blast, I really loved it.

I mean, look, a Taylor Swift screamo album? I’ll be first in line. I’m so happy to hear that, because I think you might be the only one. Ha! I have a terrible scream. It’s obnoxious.

Why Taylor Swift's Lover Fest Will Be Her Next Big Step

Billboard // by Jason Lipshutz // December 11th 2019 - [Excerpt]

On why she chose to put together Lover fest: “I haven’t really done festivals in years - not since I was a teenager. That’s something that [the fans] don’t expect from me, so that’s why I wanted to do it. I want to challenge myself with new things and at the same time keep giving my fans something to connect to.”

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soysaucevictim · 3 years

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Week 4. Finished the challenge and faced Christmas with the family (did as best I could manage to deal with that, though)...

Dec. 19

I woke up after 1PM, today.

After a bit of the usual, I did today’s exercise.

First, today’s DD. 1′ raised leg elbow plank with EC (30″/30″). Just about manageable. Probably not the best idea not properly re-hydrating myself this morning beforehand.

Second, Day 19 of the ‘20ACC. 3x19 jumping jacks, done in one super-set. Very breezy work. (For the most part, given poor food/drink choices earlier.)

Last, Day 19 of the FhP. Level 3, 1′ rest. Yeah, was regretting just drinking coffee for fluids during this. But I got through it. I do like all the kicks, though.

I spent some time updating some logs again, doing some dishes, breaking down some boxes... and then had to clean up a flooded kitchen sink cabinet because didn’t realize just HOW MUCH had been pooling underneath, since I last checked. That was fucking fun.

(The Uncle was responsible for breaking the sink in the first place - shut down the idea of having him fix that so fucking fast with Dad.)

To chill out, I spent rest of night on the usual stuff.

I went to bed obscenely late again, somewhat later than yesterday.

Dec. 20

I woke up after 2PM.

After some browsing, I did today’s exercises.

First, today’s DD. 1′ plank punches with EC. I counted 54 reps. Got a tiny bit sloppy due to shirt/sleeves slipping as I went, very distracting. Would’ve been more fun, otherwise. :P

Second, Day 20 of the ‘20ACC. 3x20 butt kicks, done in one super-set. This was fairly breezy to knock out.

Last, Day 20 of the FhP. Level 3, 1′ rest. It was pretty manageable - not super consistent with my push-up form. Was a bit miffed about the phone ringing mid-set once. Hope that wasn’t important. =_=

Spent some time on the usual before our double feature movie night. We watched The Nightmare Before Christmas and Die Hard. Festive and amusing to think of iZ!AU stuff in process.

Got to bed earlier than yesterday, still in the red.

Dec. 21

I woke up a bit before noon.

After tumblr/etc., I did today’s exercises. (Also dad called for a plumber today to fix the damn sink that the uncle broke, finally.)

First, today’s DD. 1′ bicep flex hold with EC. I thought this was a tiny bit easy to hold it... but then I felt the ache/strain after releasing. Not too intensely, but noticeable. Still a fun one and it’s nice for me to notice my biceps at this point. (Though at distance, isn’t as noticeable.)

Second, Day 21 of the ‘20ACC. 3x21 bridges, done in one super-set. That got pretty intense in the last third or so. Glutes certainly felt that one.

Last, Day 21 of the FhP. Level 3, 1′ rest. I’m pretty happy that I can manage that load still. Also liked not dealing with neck strain at all today.

I spent rest of night on the usual noise - including researching a medical issue that I think is relevant to iZ!AU... but probably won’t actually get worked into it. (It was about something called TTTS, and it’s a pregnancy complication.) :,D

Got to bed earlier than yesterday, still in the red.

Dec. 22

I woke up after noon and one of the first things I did was today’s exercise.

First, today’s DD. 2′ one arm plank with EC (1′/1′.) This took some digging in and i really felt my abs. But I’m happy I could manage it.

Second, Day 22 of the ‘20ACC. 3x22 flutter kicks, done in one super-set. Manageable to get that many down in one go. Partly because flutter kicks are one of those faster exercises.

Last, Day 22 of the FhP. Level 3, 1′ rest. Thought about shortening rests a bit more, but decided against it. Fun sequence, though! Turning kicks require being attentive of the knees but arguably on of the more fun ones to pull off. Just something satisfying about the arcing motion (similar feelings to throwing hooks.)

I then made today’s Hello Fresh Dinner. Plant-based protein rigatoni alla rossa. I personally liked this one reasonably well. Got a meh from everyone else. Probably won’t be for awhile before we do this one again.

I spent a few hours after that playing Cards Against Humanity with some folks. Had a lot of fun. A lot of laughing to the point of tears.

I got to bed later than yesterday.

Dec. 23

I got up after noon.

After I spent time on twitter and doing some music binging (getting overstimulated and hungry) - got to my exercise stuff again.

First, today’s DD. 15 jump squats with EC. Manageable, hope I minded the knees well enough.

Second, Day 23 of the ‘20ACC. 3x23 arm circles, done in one super-set. I did 1 extra so I could have an even number to split for both directions of rotating. Breezy work.

(Did some more music binging/tinkering stuff, mostly playing with Boil The Frog.)

Last, Day 23 of the FhP. Level 3, 1′ rest. The first set was an uncoordinated hot mess and had to keep checking the sheet. But got into a rhythm after that without needing to think too much.

Spent rest of night on the usual. I just was so tired.

I just barely got to bed around the red-yellow threshold (a few minutes after 2AM) - definitely indication of just how much of a low-energy day today was. I was just absolutely exhausted.

Dec. 24

I woke up a bit after noon today.

One of the first things I got squared away was exercise.

First, today’s DD. 2′ tree pose with EC (1′/1′). For first side foot slipped down at some point, so I had to adjust and tuck it back in place. I was still keeping my balance during that so I’ll count it. I do still enjoy how meditative this exercise is.

Second, Day 24 of the ‘20 Advent Calendar Challenge. 3x24 high knees, done in one super-set. Fairly breezy to manage that way, too. Another challenge in the bag.

Last, Day 24 of the FhP. Level 3, 1′ rest. Manageable - I think the side bridges were the more intensive part of the sequence. Again, glad I could keep my head down too.

Spent some time updating some logs after that.

I then made today’s Hello Fresh meal. Country beef & mushroom pot pie. Mostly everyone liked this well enough. [Re-]Learned that cobblers can also be savory from thinking this recipe looked more like stew and dumplings.

Then did some dishes, hit the showers, and cleaned my room. Did some to the usual stuff too.

I was so tired I managed to get to bed in the yellow zone.

Dec. 25

I woke up after 11AM.

We opened all our Christmas gifts in the morning. I got a really nice set of headphones (comfortable fit & sans mic; my older set was on the way out & was probably a decade old at this point), a comfy/loose sweater, and Pokemon Omega Ruby.

I spent some time before heading out to the grandparents’ place playing Pokemon. Played it some more while there, while waiting on Grandma to finish cooking the dinner. Partly to keep up some walls with the grandpa.

Dinner/dessert was tasty but a bit tense for a couple conversational topics that I had felt wrong/uncomfortable. But I just held my tongue. Too tired to engage those threads.

Played a couple games of contract rummy with dad and Grandma. Grandma won both games. We then made our way home - it was pelting rain by the time we got there.

Spent rest of night mostly chatting a bit and playing more Pokemon.

Still tired, I went to bed in the yellow zone again. A bit earlier than yesterday, even.

Summary of Experience:

I completed the ‘20 Advent Calendar Challenge on December 24. I did all but one day in one super-set (it was the upward/downward dogs day, Day 11 kicked my ass). It was pretty fun to try to challenge myself with this one - since there were a few days I was tempted to break up but didn’t.

#adventures with fitness #adventures with hello fresh #family shit/#christmas/#(this wk kinda killed me in terms of my energy lvls)

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pickledchickenetti · 4 years

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Without a Crystal Ball’s alleged Derick Dillard interview

I don’t know how trustworthy I consider this woman given her claims of interviews often seem to back out of appearing on camera at the last minute, but here’s a recap of what she claims she’s been told by Derick. Sorry for the length and the change of tense midway through. This video is mind-numbing.

She claims she wanted to be able to do this with Derick speaking himself but instead she’s going to summarize their conversations via email and Twitter DMs. She reached out to Derick in response to comments he made in Dec/Jan about Counting On and JB/the Duggars. She plugs her earlier video talking about his tweets, then summarizes the events since Joshgate 1.0.

Her summary of Joshgate 1.0 honestly made me pretty uncomfortable. She tiptoes around the subject of what happened, and almost seems like she things the Duggars were victimized by In Touch getting them cancelled. She uses this to pivot to Jill being a victim (of In Touch, she says she was a “target” of Josh), and talks about the Megyn Kelly interview, calling it “awkward”. According to “Derick”, while 19 Kids and Counting ceased, the contract with Jim Bob did not stop or change. Then she explains what Counting On is, and repeats Derick’s claim from twitter that they were never paid. She makes it sound like their wedding and Israel’s birth were part of the show in which “their names were part of the title”, even though in reality those events were both part of 19KAC. She repeats his twitter claims that JB was the only one getting paid and told them they had donated their time to part of the “mission work” of the family.

She talks about Israel’s birth and repeats Derick’s since-deleted tweets about TLC refusing to pay any of the hospital costs. She continues to muddy the timeline, making it sound like Israel’s birth special was a part of Jill & Jessa: Counting On. Then she reiterates how Derick’s story has never changed over the years, which is blatantly false considering how many times he has contradicted himself in the same month even.

Then she moves on to comments Derick has made on instagram (so far I haven’t heard this woman say anything that we haven’t already seen on social media or reasonably extrapolated). She says that “Derick” said that “Jill had not wanted to film Counting On after the release of the information that had identified her as one of her brother’s victims. He said that she was forced to film by the threat or under the guise of legal action, that she was required by a contract to film.” Finally, as he said on twitter, they decided that filming was too hard on them and they decided not to continue.

Now she appears to actually be pulling up the “messages” from Derick, so I guess all of that was acting like she was saying something new when she wasn’t. I don’t like this woman’s video style at all.

She asked Derick what are some of the misconceptions “that the family, or the public, I’d say the public has about him”. “He got really candid here. He said when it comes to modesty, which is a big part of the Duggars’ show about how women wear skirts, they have long hair, and making sure that they dress without showing a lot of skin... He wrote, ‘I don’t think it’s wrong for girls to wear pants, get piercings, or have short hair. I will encourage my kids, girls or boys, to identify their passions and pursue them even if that requires higher education.’

He said one of the most prevailing misconceptions about him is that he does not like individuals that are in the LGBTQ+. He said ‘Regarding those misconceptions I love all people, including LGBTQ+. My little brother, our fraternity, in our fraternity in college, he is gay. And I still continue to keep up with him, and he is my friend. He’s also publicly noted on twitter, at the same time, that he does like all people, and he does not discriminate. Although he has made tweets in the past about Jazz that has prompted so much of that response by the public.

Then one of the other misconceptions is that Derick and Jill are against drinking because Jim and Michelle do not drink. He said, on alcohol, he said, ‘I don’t think it’s a sin to drink alcohol, but it’s still illegal under the age of 21, so I will always encourage my kids not to break the law, and they will have to decide where they stand on it after that. However I don’t believe it’s appropriate to drink to drunkenness. The Bible is pretty clear about that.’ But when I asked him, does that mean you have consumed alcohol, he said, ‘I have.’ He didn’t say whether or not Jill has, and I would say, based on the fact that he did not answer, I’m guessing Jill might have not...”

Then she shifted to briefly explaining IBLP, which has “questionable teachings” and a homeschool curriculum. She says that Bill Gothard “is not a God, but he claims to be one on TV.” (Can anyone else fact check this? I’ve never even seen him on TV yet alone claiming he’s a god.) She talks about his lawsuit for “a variety of inappropriate conduct” and how that resulted in him being forced out of IBLP. She asked Derick about IBLP and he said he didn’t know much about them but that they teach extra-biblical precepts as truth and he considers that harmful. His example of them being wrong was modesty. Allegedly “Derick” said, “Some stuff with the ILBP [sic] is definitely harmful, but we don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater. The Bible is our ultimate authority. God’s word has been around infinitely longer than Bill Gothard and God isn’t worried about needing defense. What people need to realize is that times change but God doesn’t.” He says it’s okay to “be relevant” in somethings while maintaining your faith. He allegedly says that IBLP has too many rules and too many rules are unhealthy. She then literally says that “now we know” that Derick and his family aren’t following IBLP and “there’s some tea”, as if anyone assumed that Jill Dillard with her shorts and nose ring was still a member of IBLP.

Onto public school and Israel’s enrollment. “Derick” claims they considered both public and homeschooling and there was no specific reason they picked public school, just what felt right.

Next, courting, where she says Derick continued with the party line that they chose not to hold hands, hug, etc. on their own, not because of Duggar rules. She acknowledges the possibility that Jill didn’t decide those things, they were just “indoctrinated into her”, but she didn’t get into that with Derick.

“Now to the juicy stuff that all of you guys are here for.” I literally can’t stand this woman and for whatever reason her saying that just pissed me off more.

She didn’t discuss any of the Jazz stuff with him, but she let him know that “someone” made her video with Amy come down. (Not sure how these things are supposed to be related?) She asked if this was something Derick had experienced, with threats of being sued. She says that Derick said he wished Amy could speak to what she wants to, but “Amy is controlled by other people, and we weren’t even allowed to be the first to announce our own life events. Our marriage, expecting our baby, our genders of our children, our births, not by our own choice.” Apparently that gives this woman “a lot of insight”, but I’m not really sure what she thinks it gave her insight on. Obviously all of these people are under contracts and have no control. She says that “Derick” said if he had to do it all over again he’d have made his own announcements even if he’d have gotten in trouble. She says that Derick that plugged his blog and said that more info will come out over time as he “feels more comfortable”, but that they’re still recovering over the last few years and that Jill is still in the middle of a lawsuit over releasing info to InTouch.

“Now to get to the estrangement,” she asked him what made him finally speak out about it. She says the Duggars are following her channel but when SHE mentioned that they weren’t interacting much with the Dillards they “suddenly” wished Derick a happy birthday. (Literally everyone was commenting on that and you can’t “suddenly” wish someone a happy birthday.) She thinks her video made them invite Jinger to that Panera and Target day the day before because she said something about it and also Homeland Security is investigating Josh. (Also Derick announced that they weren’t allowed at the house.) “Derick” says it’s not true that they don’t want to be around Jill’s family at all but there are some people they don’t get along with or feel comfortable around. Supposedly he commented because he didn’t want rumors to be taken as truth.

Now she’s circling back to Jill being “forced” to film. “Derick” says they’ve been seeing a licensed counselor and it helps. The book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and their counseling have both really helped. Then she repeats a bunch of her earlier opinions. She says that she things Joshgate 1.0 was the fault of JB and Michelle, not the police, and that a lot of people have let Jill down.

Apparently she and Derick then touched on his “advocacy for children” but he’d go more into that later. She mentions he’s in law school but that he wouldn’t say why. She thinks it’s in it to protect others.

“Finally” she asked “Derick” how they plan to raise their children differently. “Derick” said, “Neither of us are bitter about how we were raised.” Now she’s recapping much of what she already said once again. She says that “Derick has been pretty vocal that they do use birth control,” which he really has not at all been. He’s made like maybe two vague comments possibly suggesting that? More recapping of what she already said, with a bit more of her opinions of what she thinks they want even though supposedly Derick answered her questions. She (or “Derick”, she’s starting to blur lines here) says it’s important not trust social media as the only thing you know about someone as it isn’t always 100% accurate.

Now she’s plugging their blog and social media. She’s thanking Derick for his candor and trust and she looks forward to hearing from him again in the future.

Good God this woman is annoying. That was hard to get through.

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