#almostalyssamarie

[almostalyssamarie]

Jily Challenge: January

JILY CHALLENGE

@almostalyssamarie v @meggie-jolly

hogwarts locations + the quidditch pitch

AN: It’s a bit long, and I wanted to get it posted so I didn’t do too much editing. enjoy!

If there were ever a place James Potter would consider himself to be at peace, it would be here. Alone at midnight, bathed in the light of a thankfully waning moon, laying in the carefully kept grass of Hogwarts Quidditch pitch. Sure, it was a bit cold with the Scottish wind whistling around him as he wasn’t exactly dressed in his warmest clothes. The scarlet button-up he wore was thin, even with his thick woolen vest pulled over it. In his haste to flee the castle, the only cloak he thought to grab was great for subtly, not warmth. Even so, here, at night, with no crowd in the stands, no broom in his hands he took solace in the fact he was no one to the abandoned arena. He was not Number 07 Potter, Quidditch Captain, nor James Potter, Gryffindor and Head Boy, nor Jamie Fleamont Potter, sole son of the renowned potioneer and his loving wife. With no one around and only his thoughts, he could step away from his responsibilities for a moment. After all, the towering hoops gave no thought towards the sneered Potter, blood traitor and enemies of Slytherins and Death Eaters alike. The firm ground didn’t protest to bearing the weight of the well-worn Mr. Potter, who at age 17 had already been called to fight in a war he was all too aware of. He was too hidden from the thick cover of the forest to be Prongs, marauder, brother, and protector of his own as they struggled with their fear, their anger, and in Remus’ case, their curse. Yes, James Potter was nearly at peace, left with only one identity, one that these days seemed impossible to shake. Even here, he could not cease to be James Potter, the boy madly in love with Lily Evans.

Even out in the cold, James couldn’t forget how everything had seemed to be afire. With every fireplace roaring, and nearly every student from fifth year above filling the transformed Great Hall, James could feel the stray beads of sweat gathering at the nape of his neck. He would have tugged at his collar then if it weren’t for Remus’ arm resting casually on his shoulders. The fact that his dark eyes were alight in a way that rarely happened so soon after a full moon filled James with a warmth he could not so easily disregard. Especially when the low peals of Peter’s laughter beside him were so delightfully distracting. He didn’t have to taste the drink Sirius had practically forced in his hand to know that it was spiked, but the burn of Firewhiskey balanced the holiday punch well. If the first drink had him sputtering, the genuine smile on his best friend’s handsome face had him taking a second. Absorbed in his own corner of the world, he was still all too aware of the flame flitting across the room, fanning a fire inside him he had long since hoped to extinguish.

Lily Evans was a vision in her carefully tailored emerald dress robes, a single silk strap cutting across alabaster skin, her fiery hair curled and pinned elegantly to the side. She wore the color combination better than any of the other festive students, than the giant Christmas trees standing proud, than the mistletoe James had helped hang himself. If his field of vision were to extend beyond Lily, he might have noticed he was not the only one having these thoughts, as several other sets of eyes followed the beloved head girl across the floor. Instead a well-placed punchline from Remus had Peter drawing James back into the fray. With a fleeting look towards Lily conversing with Marlene McKinnon, he turned back to the Marauders.

There they stood, shoulder to shoulder with near identical grins that, if James weren’t used to, would be mildly terrifying. James barely found it disconcerting.

“What? Is my shirt on backwards? Did Pads shave a design into the back of my hair again? Oh god- you didn’t lace my drink, did you? Liquor is one thing, but you know even I have standards!” His expression was one of mock horror, and he was personally patting himself on the back for a riveting performance when Sirius shook his head. Looking to Remus and Peter, who gave him an affirming nod, he stepped forward, putting his hand on James’ shoulder.

“Prongs, my guy… Just go ask her to dance.”

Despite the fact he had spent a good deal of time watching the aforementioned her throughout the night, it took James a second to realize what Sirius was suggesting he do. Rolling his eyes, he shrugged his friend’s hand off, hoping it came across as casually as he was aiming.

“Nah, I mean, she’s having fun, we’re having fun-“ Peter snorted, earning a scowl from James and an elbow from Remus. “Guys, we’ve had this discussion. I’m done making moves on Lil- Dammit, Sirius! Stop giving me that look.” Remus, trying to spare himself of the wrestling match sure to ensue, stepped forward then, throwing another elbow into Sirius’ stomach as he caught sight of his wiggling eyebrows.

“What Padfoot is trying to say, is that you can ask her to dance without making any moves. You’re Head Boy, she’s Head Girl… It’s probably some sort of unofficial tradition.” The pointed look Remus gave him was encouraging, a direct contradiction of the crude hand signals being thrown behind his back.

James considered it, deciding Remus was right. After punching Sirius in the arm and ducking away before he had time to return an attack, James refocused, taking no time at all to locate Lily… her head thrown back in laughter, cheeks flushed as she spun in the arms of some Ravenclaw James didn’t recognize. He could acknowledge it was a rash reaction. But it didn’t stop him from disappearing into the hall, pulling the invisibility cloak from his back pocket and sneaking away.

And now, the boy who loved was here, sprawling under the watch of a sky full of stars and four decorated towers, his chest aching with cold and something he refused to name. Eyes closed behind his glasses, James intertwined his fingers with the frostbitten grass, yearning to sink just a little bit further, until Lily Evans was but a seed planted in his mind.

“James?”

A quiet, but familiar voice stoked the fire within like a hot poker, and he opened his eyes. Standing above him, green silk peeking out from behind a winter cloak was the flower herself.

Neither of them said anything, yet the silence was not awkward. It was accompanied by the rustling of the Forbidden Forest and punctuated by the sound of the Giant Squid breaking the surface of the Black Lake. A moment, or perhaps a lifetime later, Lily shrugged, making up her mind on an argument only she seemed to be having. With all the grace she could muster on a grassy field in heels, she sank to her knees, comfortable only when she was laying besides James, close enough he could feel the heat radiating off her in waves. He did his best not to scoot closer, to tiptoe, not sprint across the hot coals, but he couldn’t resist turning his head to face her. He was only half surprised to find she was looking back, no real explanation on her face as to why she had left her date to find him here. James could only hold his tongue for so long before asking the question that was plaguing him the most.

“Aren’t you worried you’re going to ruin your dress?” He inquired, reaching over to gingerly brush his knuckles across a piece of the fabric closest to him, all too aware of how close he came to brushing her side. Lily shivered, and James told himself it was because of the wind.

Lily shook her head then, proving she also lacked concern over the state of her hair, which James could see was already falling out of its pins, loose tendrils curling around her neck. Again he fought the urge to twirl one around his finger, to feel her pulse beneath his fingertips.

“I’ve heard magical dry cleaning does wonders. Besides, it’s just a dress. The real question is, aren’t you afraid you’re going to ruin your circulation?” Lily motioned towards his half extended hand and the reddened fingers now nearly clenched into a fist.

She made a disapproving noise before reaching for it, slender fingers shooting electricity up James’ arm as she pried them out of the ball they were in. “If you keep them like that any longer they’re going to freeze like that. Then you’re going to snap them off trying open them. And even you can’t fly without fingers” The statement was ridiculous coming out of Lily’s mouth in such a matter of fact tone, and James couldn’t help the short “Ha!” that escaped, nor the wide smile that continued to nearly split his face when she laughed too.

“Well then maybe you should help warm them up, Evans”

It was meant to be a quip, a sassy piece of banter not unusual for their interactions. Instead, it came out quieter, almost soft, inflections in all the wrong places. Lily didn’t seem to notice. Instead, she looked thoughtful before wrapping both her hands around his, closing the few inches of distance left between them as she shifted.

There was another silence, during which James considered the pros and cons of interrupting, asking how she found him, why she decided to look. He didn’t get any further than opening his mouth before Lily turned her head towards him, her voice somehow but steady yet unsure.

“You know, you could have asked me. To dance, I mean… I was waiting. Marlene told me there was no way you wouldn’t be over. But then Marlene suggested David show me how to Waltz- I was bloody awful, by the way. By the time I looked back over, you were gone…” She let her voice trail, but he could hear the question behind it, could see the concern reflecting in her gold rimmed eyes.

A million thoughts flashed through James’ mind, a million questions, an itemized list of three years’ worth of moments he had long since stopped trying to overanalyze that suddenly seemed to have new meanings. But…

If there were ever a place James Potter would consider himself to be at peace, it would be here.  With Lily past midnight, bathed in the light of a thankfully waning moon, laying close enough he could hear every breath she took, her hand in his.

Talking could wait.

Turning his palm until it pressed against hers, James let out the breath he hadn’t meant to be holding when she curled her fingers around his. Her smile was nothing extraordinary, just a slight upward turn of her tinted lips, but it was enough. Pressed shoulder to shoulder in the carefully kept grass of Hogwarts Quidditch pitch, James Potter was content with being the boy in love with Lily Evans.

#jilychallenge #meggie-jolly #almostalyssamarie #jily #jily fanfiction #writing #my writing

[meggie-jolly]

Jily Challenge January - The Quidditch Pitch

@almostalyssamarie vs @meggie-jolly

My dabble for the January Hogwarts location Jily Challenge.  It’s my first jily fan fiction and I kept getting stuck and kind of rushed it in the end. I’m also tired and my spelling sucks even when I’m not, so I apologise in advance. 

Edit: Read a slightly updated version on AO3

It was a cold, windy and rather wet saturday in January and Marlene had dragged Lily out to the quidditch pitch for the game Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff. Much to Marlene’s surprise it hadn’t taken as much convincing as she had expected, but she had a certain suspicion why. And watching her best friend now only solidified her theory. „You’re staring, Lily.“ Marlene’s voice was bone dry but her eyes were sparkling with laughter.

Lily looked a little startled when she answered. „No I’m not, who would I be staring at? I’m just watching the game.“ She knew her voice was too fast and she also knew that she barely even liked Quidditch, so that wasn’t the best answer. But somehow she couldn’t stop her eyes from always going back to one player. No matter how often she tried to follow the game, the commentators announcements of goals kept surprising her. Unless of course Potter had made them. It was insane, she didn’t even like him, but something about the way his hair was now naturally in disarray, his glasses kind of crooked and his face full of concentration and joy made her unable to look away for too long. Yes, he was an arse most of the time and he had proofed that time and time again. Especially last year. But this year? She couldn’t explain it, but something was different. He looked at her different, or maybe she looked at him different. But their interactions seemed more real and more honest. She had to admit she kind of liked that. But she had always given him the cold shoulder, their relationship was build on that. As was her image, if she was completely honest. Their friends seemed to notice, as was obvious by Marlene’s slight chuckles she could hear beside her and choose to ignore. Remus was also catching on, or at least it seemed like it. He kept making these odd comments about liking someone you weren’t supposed to like and similar stuff. But he always shut up and seemed to disappear when anyone else joined their conversation. Sometimes he even blushed, which could mean that it was all about him and whoever he might fancy.

Remus was actually siting a few rows above them, but Lily was too distracted to see the clear indication of who he might fancy. Marlene wasn’t though, she amused herself by watching all the early spring feelings that apparently had invaded her friends. Lily was obviously hypnotised by James Potter, but she wasn’t the only one who couldn’t take her eyes of certain players. Remus, for example seemed rather interested in a certain beater that was just now high-fiveing James after hitting Rowle with a bludger. He was a lot less obvious then Lily though, but that wasn’t difficult right now. Even more obvious was Alice, who was obviously flirting thru smiles, winks and lip reading with her boyfriend and back-up keeper Frank Longbottom thru smiles, winks and lip reading. But they were Gryffindors dream couple, so they didn’t have any reason to hide their feelings. Adam, the commentator and a fellow Gryffindor sixth year, had noticed their flirting as well and was now publicly teasing them about it. „Oy, Longbottom, pay attention to the quaffle, not your Girlfriend. I know you’re only Bonnet’s back up, but you still have to protect the rings.“ Marlene laughed at the blushing couple, McGonnagal’s poorly concealed grin and Adam’s sung face. Adam was actually really funny and cool, but most people overlooked him because of the Marauders. Lately he had been more involved in their little group though. All of them had become closer. It wasn’t girls against boys, or James’ friends against Lily’s friends all the time anymore. She really enjoyed that, the hostility had gotten old and they didn’t even have two years left together in Hogwarts. It was time to grow up and prepare for the world outside of Hogwarts. A world that was more dangerous then ever. All of the could use as many friends and support as possible. After all, she knew her friends, they would probably all join the fight agains Voldemort one way or another.

Her rather dark thoughts got interrupted by Adams voice, which informed them that the seekers seemed to have spotted the snitch and the most exiting part of the game (in her eyes at least) was starting.

Lily was still thinking about her friends and their relationships while watching James when Marlene, as well as most people around her jumped up cheering, because apparently Gryffindor had won. Quickly she followed their example, blushing furiously because she had been distracted enough to miss the excitement of Sanders catching the snitch for Gryffindor.

Lily caught James’ eye when she was leaving the quidditch pitch with Marlene. „Uhm, I think I want to walk around for a little. The common room will be so crowded and loud.“ She quickly excused herself from a smirking Marlene. „Allright, I’ll see you later.“ Marlene continued into the direction of the castle, catching up to Adam while Lily followed James to the quidditch field.

He grinned at her when he saw her come around the stands. „I thought I had seen you look at me during the game.“ He teased her and she couldn't help blushing. „I was watching you play. Isn’t that the point of all of us freezing on those bloody uncomfortable stands?“ She shot back, but with less venom n her voice then she usually used in her comebacks to him. He smiled at her. „Well yes, but watching the game and watching me are two different things.“ Lily rollet her eyes. „Oh shut it Potter.“ Her voice was surprisingly soft and somehow they had gotten closer. „You watch me in the library. So I get to watch you in the air.“ Now it was James’ turn to blush. „Okay, you got me there. So what if you don’t only watch me in the air, but join me?“ He pointed at his broom that was leaning agains the wall of the building with the changing rooms. Lily looked surprised, she wasn’t much of a flier. Of corse she had learnt it like all the other students and she wasn't afraid of it, but it was a method of transportation to her, not a sport or a recreational activity. But she nodded anyways and climbed onto James’ broom behind him.

The night was clear and cold, with lots of stars and the castle looked even more magical from above with all the lit windows. Her arms where wrapped around James’ back and she couldn’t stop smiling. „This is amazing James, thank you.“ He turned his head back to her and just smiled at her. And in that moment she decided that she wouldn’t say no, should he ever ask her out again. She might even ask him out, if he didn’t.

When they headed back to the castle about half an hour later, their hands found each other. Both of them blushed a little and smiled, but neither pulled their hand away until the reached the fat lady. The rest of the evening and the next day they spent with their friends. It had snowed during the night and the grounds transformed into a snowball war zone. Laughing they fell back into the snow, not knowing what the future held. Not knowing that not on of their friends would survive the next 25 years. Not knowing that they were the lost generation of the wizarding world.

#ilychallenge #almostalyssamarie #the quidditch pitch #jily #fanfiction #Maurauders Era #my writing #drabble

[i-write-shakespeare-not-disney]

@almostalyssamarie replied to your post: Guys help meeeee

It’s when he says “I’m the damn fool that shot him!” Grammatically, it should be “I’m the damn fool who shot him,” because Burr is a person, not a thing. Hope that helps :)

GOD BLESS YOU MY FRIEND I CAN FINALLY FUCKING SLEEP TONGIHT OH MY FUCKING GODS

#almostalyssamarie

[wearingaberetinparis]

I Miss The Way You Make Me Feel

First day of March and I finally have time to post my fic for @jilychallenge! I was sent the following prompt: "post-apocalyptic au where its just the two of them and a bunch of zombies running rampant". Quite a challenge as I’ve never written anything like it before, but hey... I hope this is okay. It is a bit of a loose interpretation of the prompt, though, and it’s definitely not the best thing I’ve ever written... Hello to my partner in this, @almostalyssamarie!

She really wished she had been trained better for this. She should have been. She had been eleven when it had all changed. When the world had ended. Quite literally, in her opinion. Now she raced through the tunnels leading to the Shrieking Shack. She could hear the gut-wrenching screams follow her at a short distance and her heart raced, beating in her throat as her mind spun. She reached the trapdoor leading to the decrepit mansion and banged against it with her shoulder. “Padfoot,” she yelled, “Moony, Wormtail!” And then: “Prongs!” She rammed her shoulder against the trapdoor again, letting out a moan in pain. She held her shoulder, rubbing it slightly as she turned her head.

A low growling sounded and she could see a flash of eyes. She slammed her fist against the trapdoor, desperation starting to eat at her. “James, damn it!”

The trapdoor opened with a shriek and she was lifted of the ground. A loud, ear-pitching scream followed her as she scrambled away from the opening of the trapdoor. It was slammed shut with a loud bang and the bolt - that should technically protect them from any attacks - was slid into place. “What were you screaming for?” asked Sirius Black, a grin on his face and she lets out a disbelieving snort. “Funny, Black,” she said, her hands moving to untie the holster wrapped around her hips.

“Got into a bit of trouble, did you?” he asked, reaching for the holster and flinging it on a pile in the corner of the room. She stood up, deciding to ignore him and pulled her hair free from its ponytail. She frowned at the knotted hair falling down her shoulders. “Are the others upstairs?” “Moony is,” Sirius said. “Pete and James are out.” She looked up at him, startled. “Out?” she asked. “What are they out for?”

“Supplies,” Sirius said with a shrug, leaving the room. She followed him, concern eating away at her. “What kind of supplies? I thought we were good.” “Can I point out,” said Sirius, sounding bored, “that you were the one who went out on her own this morning?” She pursed her lips. She had known this would come, of course, but she would rather not have Sirius Black - rulebreaker extraordinary - lecture her. “I had some business to take care of.” “Business,” scoffed Sirius as he ascended the stairs. She glowered at his back. “Did James put you up to this?”

He laughed. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” “In fact,” she began, failing to keep her temper in check, “I would like to know. I’m getting really tired of his sexist commands.”

“No offense, Evans,” said Black, his voice going flat, “but I think you know very well that this doesn’t have a shit to do with you being a girl.” She didn’t say anything when they reached the top of the stairs and entered the bedroom. Remus was fast asleep on the bed in the middle of the room and a fire roared in the fireplace. She moved to sit in front of it, warming her hands and ignored Sirius’ glares as best as she could.

It was dark when she woke up, feeling a thumb brush against her cheek. She opened her eyes and blinked a few times before she could make out his frame. He was hunched beside her, his eyes studying her carefully as he eyed her with a serious expression on his face. She stared back at him until she couldn’t take it anymore. “What?” she whispered. “Come to bed,” he whispered back, tugging at a stray strand of her hair gently as he sent her a sweet smile.

“I was sleeping,” she answered him, turning herself away from him, but he wouldn’t let her. He stopped her with his hand and when her eyes met his again, he let out a sigh. “Not in our bed,” he said, his voice deepening slightly. “Come on, Lil...”

“I’m fine here,” she said, her eyes not leaving his. His jaw tightened slightly, but then confusion seemed to take over. “What did I do?” he asked. He sounded small. For a moment she considered telling him. It was just a fraction of a second before she gained her sense again. She couldn’t. “I just want to sleep, okay?” she replied. His eyes searched hers one final time before he visibly gave up. His thumb swept over her cheek a final time before he stood up and walked away from her. She felt tears sting in the corners of her eyes before she gently placed a hand on her stomach, her fingers gently caressing it.

She was never supposed to have met him. If the world hadn’t changed as drastically and dramatically in the months leading up to her eleventh birthday, she never would have. This was something she reminded herself of often. Her parents had jumped at the opportunity of safeguarding one of their children. She had been one of the selected few, one of “The Chosen Ones” as they would later be known as. A group of people - supposedly - randomnly selected to continue the existence of the human race on earth.

Her sister hated her for it. Had never forgiven her, even though - in all fairness - Lily had been unable to do anything about it. Her parents had received a letter from the ministry, signed by Professor Albus Dumbledore himself. She was to receive an injection that would protect her from the deadly virus threatening to break out any moment. Problem was that only 150 of these cures could have been made.

The injection had been painful, she remembered feeling terrible for days. Her parents had thought that she would die, that they had made the wrong decision and sold their daughter to make their dreams come true through her survival. But she had recovered and she had been taken away from them. She had never seen them again.

The virus spread quickly after that. Millions of people died within a matter of months, but she hadn’t known about it. She had been sheltered, the truth kept from her, because she had been chosen. Chosen to survive.

Hogwarts had been her home for all of seven  years and that is where she met him. He had been awkward, tiny and ridiculous when she had first seen him. Sev had hated him at first sight and she had chosen her best friend’s side.

But he had never hated her. He would send her one of his goofy grins, ask her to sit with him and his friends, he would follow her around and he would go out of his way to talk to her. She had thought he was the bane of her existence, that he had been chosen to survive solely to torment her.

That had, of course, been far from true. The sixty children chosen to survive had been selected carefully. They were the future of the human race. They were the ones that were trained to withstand the harsh conditions of the world outside of Hogwarts.

She had been chosen, because she had an aptitude for chemistry and medicine. She was trained - together with Severus and a handful others - to become the doctors in The New World. Potter, on the other hand, was chosen, because it was believed that he could be a good leader. He studied Politics, History and Social Sciences.

Severus hated it. “He struts around like he’s the king of the universe,” he would often say, a frown on his face. As time went on, however, Lily discovered that it became increasingly difficult for her to agree with her best friend and trusted ally. Yes, Potter did strut a little, but it wasn’t because he was arrogant. He was confident, happy to take the lead. It was his second nature and somewhere around her 16th birthday, she came to realise that perhaps she was attracted to that just a tiny bit.

It had all been fine for the first few years, but in the spring before her final year at Hogwarts, the outside world had invaded the perfect colony it had been. Voldemort and his army of Death Eaters had created Inferi or the Living Dead. Unhappy with the system that Professor Dumbledore and the Wise Five were creating, Voldemort rebelled and their once so perfect world crumbled.

Of course, it had all been an illusion. Hogwarts had been an ideal society, a utopia, whereas the rest of the world had been dying. The Chosen Ones grew divided. There was a lot of anger and grief that tore The New World apart.

She had been confused, angry and unbelievably sad too, but she had nowhere to go and she knew that she owed her parents her life. They had given up everything for her to have one and she could not throw that gift away. She was a healer, not a fighter.

She had lost Sev. He had joined the Death Eaters and tried to persuade her to do the same thing, but she couldn’t. She wouldn’t.

She had been all alone and there he had been, waiting for her with his arms wide open. He had saved her, rescued her by giving her a chance to survive the world outside of Hogwarts. He had adopted her into his group of friends, trusted all of them with their lives and somewhere along the way - she honestly could not recall how it had happened - she had ended up sharing a bed with him, loving him, wanting to be with him forever.

This hadn’t changed. But she had just never expected a baby. And she knew - with every fibre of her being - that she did not want to bring a child into this cursed world.

“What do you think you’re doing?” demanded Sirius as he slammed the door to the bathroom closed behind him. He towered over her and she glared at him, shoving him lightly with one hand, while the other held up a ratty towel to not reveal herself any more to him.

“Shove off, Black,” she hissed.

Sirius bared his teeth angrily, nearly growling as he spoke: “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she replied stubbornly, avoiding his eyes. “If you would be so kind to leave the bathroom, so I can get dressed...?”

“Do you enjoy toying with his emotions?” he asked furiously. “Is this some stupid thing women do? Do you want him to prove his love for you?”

She let out a disbelieving laugh. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Then explain it to me,” he said, stepping closer to him. “Or, better yet, explain it to him, because he sure as hell doesn’t understand either.”

She pressed her lips together in a thin line. What could she say? What should she say?  Sirius narrowed his eyes at her and took one step towards her, their noses nearly touched. “Figure it out, yeah?” he said. “Don’t take it out on him.”

He left the room then and she let out a shaky breath.

She hoisted her backpack on her shoulder and reached for her shoes. Quietly, she left the room, walking on the tips of her toes. She could detect Peter’s snores, Sirius’ heavy breathing and Remus was hidden under his blankets. She stopped, her hand on the door, and turned her head slightly to watch James. 

He preferred sleeping on his stomach. She would complain about it, telling him that she could hardly use his shoulder blades as a pillow, but he would just snort, grin that crooked grin of his and throw her his pillow. “Use that one.”

Tonight he slept on his back. As though he was expecting her to leave, ready to jump out any moment. He only had to wake up and open his eyes to stop her.  There was a part of her that really wanted him to stop her. She wanted to throw her backpack on the floor, lie down next to him and burrow her face in his neck. She wanted to wake him up, so he would see her there, waiting for him to wake up and stop her from leaving.  She really, really wished she was brave enough to stay.  She closed her eyes and then turned her head, pushing open the door quietly to leave her heart behind.

Minerva McGonagall had been the safe option. The only option she had.  “Biscuit?” the woman asked, holding out a tin with something that looked like shortbread.  “No, thank you,” she said quietly.  She thought that McGonagall eyed her suspiciously for a second, but then the woman put the lid on the tin and placed it on the table. “All right,” the woman began. “What can I help you with?”

Her eyes widened. “I don’t -” McGonagall only raised an eyebrow and she let out a nervous laugh. “I mean... I -” she swallowed, “I don’t know where to begin.” “I find that it’s always good to just begin,” the woman told her. She nodded and then looked at her hands, taking a deep breath before she dared say the words out loud. “I’m pregnant.” 

McGonagall didn’t say anything for a while, but then said: “I see.”

“I don’t want it,” she whispered. “I can’t want it. It would be selfish.”

“What did Potter say?”

Lily didn’t say anything.

“He doesn’t know?”

She nodded. 

“Lily...” 

“He’d be so scared. Conflicted,” she began, still not looking at her former teacher. “You know what he’s like.”

“You’re worried he’d want to keep it.” “I’m worried about what world this baby will grow up in,” she said, standing up and pacing the room. “Voldemort won’t give up, his Inferi are everywhere... how am I going to keep this baby safe?”

“It’s not impossible.”

“But would it be fair?” She let out a shaky laugh. “Can you imagine a child growing up in the Shrieking Shack?”

It was quiet for quite some time and then Lily sat down on the worn couch again. She felt very tired all of a sudden.

“Sleep, Lily,” McGonagall then said. “Get some sleep and we’ll discuss it in the morning.” 

Lily nodded. Her mind swam as she reached for the blanket McGonagall had placed on the end of the couch. Her eyes closed and all she could see was him.

Days passed. McGonagall would go out to meet with Dumbledore, gun tied to her upper leg, every morning and she would not return until late in the afternoon. Lily would sit there, safe and secure, knowing that no Inferi or other intruder could get in that easily.

It was the fifth day around noon when she suddenly heard a noise just outside the door of McGonagall’s safe house. She jumped off of the couch, grabbed a knife from the kitchen table and went into the hallway. For a second she didn’t hear anything and she thought she had imagined it all. But then a knock sounded.

“Lily, open up.” Her heart stilled. “I know you’re in there.”

Her hand trembled as she slowly unlocked the door and opened it to reveal James Potter. He looked worse for wear; unshaven and pale. 

“What are you doing here?”

He grimaced. “I could ask you the same thing.”

She didn’t reply to that, but did step aside, so he could come in. As soon as he entered she closed the door, sliding the locks in place. “No one followed?”

“I’m not an idiot.”

“James...”

He sighed. “Nothing except for anguished cries in the distance.”

She nodded and then wrapped her arms around her middle. “Cup of tea?”

His eyes followed her every move and his hand reached for her. “Lil...”

“Just a dash of milk, right?” she asked as she quickly moved past him, knowing the answer already. Her hands shook as she grabbed a porcelain cup from the cupboard.  

“Why’d you leave?” he asked then. She had expected this question, but it still destroyed her. “What did I do?” 

She didn’t know what to say and she slowly put the cup down. 

He let out a frustrated sigh and she could just picture him there, his hand raking through his hair. “Is it over? Is that it?”

She laughed humourlessly then, turning around. “Of course not.”

He seemed broken as he looked at her. “Then what is it?”

She thought about what she could say. She had pictured this very moment over and over again in the last few days, but she did not feel prepared at all. Still, she sighed and forced herself to look him in the eye. “I’m pregnant.”

“What?” he took a few steps in her direction. “I’m sorry, I -”

“Baby,” she said quickly, looking down at her feet. “I’m having a baby.”Then, after a short pause. “We are.”

It was eerily quiet. No sound could be heard for at least two minutes and then James cursed loudly. “Shit!” Then, when she looked up at him, she found him staring at her stomach. “You sure?” She had to resist the urge to either kick him or roll her eyes. “Pretty sure, yes.”

He nodded then. “Okay,” he said, starting to pace, “okay, we can do this. We can work this out.”

“Can we?” she asked. 

He stopped pacing then and looked up at her. “Of course we can,” he simply said, “I love you.”

And she trusted him. He was her light. Her hope. Her love. And she was having a baby. His baby. Their baby. 

“Okay,” she said softly. 

Yet, despite her faith in him, despite her love for him, chills unpleasantly ran up and down her spine. 

They named him Harry. He was a beautiful baby boy. His hair was as dark as his father’s, his eyes as green as his mother’s. He was their hope, their joy, their light in times of need and they loved him. More than they had ever thought possible. 

They named him Harry and pledged that they would keep him safe.

It was a cold, October night. Harry was toothing and had just woken up after being put to rest two hours prior. The only one who could ever soothe him was James. Harry looked up to him. 

Lily watched on with a smile as her two boys played on the rug in front of the fireplace. Sirius, Remus and Peter were out on a mission for Dumbledore and they were together. Just the three of them. An ordinary family.

James blew a raspberry on Harry’s stomach and their son laughed, showing off his one front teeth that would soon be joined by another. She wanted to laugh too, her giggles had nearly escaped her mouth when a loud bang interrupted the family gathering. 

Lily saw James’ shoulders stiffen and her heart stilled. James looked at Lily, his face not betraying any emotion as he sat up. 

“I’ll go check,” he said, his voice deep as he reached for the gun he had placed on the couch. “You stay with Harry.” 

He stood and walked off. She reached for his arm. “James...”

He smiled at her, his thumb brushing her cheek. “It’s probably nothing.”

She watched him leave the room and then lifted her son up off the floor, holding him against her chest. She didn’t even notice her son reach for a strand of her auburn hair nor did she notice that he put said strand of hair in his mouth. 

She could hear nothing for a while and then she heard a gun shot and frantic yelling as well as gut-wrenching screeching. 

“Lily, it’s them!” James yelled. “Lily, go! I’ll hold them of...”

For a second she was rooted to the floor, but then she sprinted to the back room, her feet carrying her as quick as she could manage with her son in her arms. Harry started wailing and she tried to shush him, rushing down the hidden stairs that lead to the basement. 

She thought she could feel the moment that he died. She knew he had when the screeching seemed to get closer and did not die down - as she had hoped, wished, prayed. 

She looked around her, hoping to find a place for her to keep Harry safe and found a way. She put Harry down, opened the air vent and then laid her wailing son there.  “Shh, Harry,” she said, “shh, be safe, be strong!”

Harry stopped crying for a second, his green, watery eyes focused on hers. She nearly couldn’t take her eyes off of him. She nearly didn’t save him in time, but she heard the Inferi fling themselves down the stairs and she hid her son from sight, not thinking about it twice. 

She turned around, braced herself and saw four Inferi. She didn’t want to scream, she didn’t want to panic, she didn’t want to show fear, but she was not sure if she succeeded. 

She did know - before all thoughts had left her - that they had kept their word. Their son was safe. 

#jilychallenge #jily au #jily fic #i wrote this

[almostalyssarambling-blog]

almostalyssamarie

I fought with my best friend last night before bed, and now my entire day has this dark shadow cast over it because we haven’t made up. I can acknowledge part of my issue is that I just hate having people mad at me, but I also am afraid that this particular argument is going to make them distance themselves and that would hurt more than I want to admit. So even if they come home from work today and everything is fine, there are going to be a few things that have to happen before I actually feel like that’s the case.

Update: they haven’t texted all day, and they’ve come home and absolutely refused to talk to me. I asked how their day was and am giving them space now but I hate how awful I feel. I know that i upset them and I so I’m trying not to be overbearing or make this about me or do anything that makes them feel bad or whatever. I don’t want them to feel bad about feeling bad. But I absolutely hate this, and to an extent I feel like it’s incredibly unfair.

I honestly think that the worst part is that I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it, which is why I’m anonymously posting about it here. I just feel awful and anxious and I want it to stop.