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#also Sakura my beloved

justhellacesome · 1 year

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Naruto Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Nara Shikamaru Characters: Haruno Sakura, Nara Shikamaru, Yamanaka Ino, Akimichi Chouji, Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, Hatake Kakashi, Sai (Naruto), Yamato | Tenzou Additional Tags: Temporary Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Death, War, Non-Linear Narrative, world building, Vore, Cannibalism, read notes about those tags, Magic, POV Multiple, Storytelling, Implied Sexual Content, Graphic Description of Corpses, Morally Ambiguous Character, BAMF Haruno Sakura, BAMF Nara Shikamaru, Sakura eats a god Series: Part 8 of so come meet me in the garden (where the angels sing) Summary:

Shikamaru dies, he does not stay dead. Oh no, he can't die, Deathless they call him because of his luck, because of his tenacity. But what they don't know, what no one knows— except those so close to his heart that they are a part of him and him a part of them— is that luck or strength has nothing to do with it. Death knows his name, knows his blood, knows his bones. She looks at him with such sadness he aches with it, dreams of it. Death's hands cradle his face as she sends him back to the world of the living in order to fulfill his fate and save the world.

Only, it isn't as simple as that. Nothing is. Nothing ever will be. The dead do not stay dead and the world has been taken by an unending war with enemies who rise again and again. Once upon a time ago, there was a boy, not any boy, a hero. But this is not the beginning, nor is it the end. He has fate carved into his skin and hope behind his eyes and he will endure these nightmares over and over and over.

(You see, there are things worse than never-dying foes. There are girls with bones forged of fury and blood made of rage who look at the world and decide to eat it.)

#this is lovely #shikasaku #naruto #naruto fanfiction #naruto oneshot #sakura haruno #shikamaru nara #beware of the tags #although its not heavily described in the story #but beware #I just love both of them #and their ship is also one of my favorites #though im biased enough #as a cat #multishipper #but here is beloved #snickiebear #ao3 naruto fanfictions #fanfic recommendation

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mushroomjar · 1 year

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Things I bought today (not pictured is two pink heart-shaped cookies I also bought that had a Kimetsu no Yaiba drawing on the packaging. I gave the drawing to my friend because I haven't watched that anime, I really only wanted the cookies)

[Image Description: The first image is a photo of my hand holding a pink can with a drawing of Sailor Moon from the Sailor Moon Crystal version on it. The second image is a photo of a tote bag with three panels of the Banana Fish manga on it, the first two panels focusing in on Ash Lynx's side profile, and the third one showing his back with many buildings on the horizon. End Image Description]

I also took photos with the coolest Denji cosplayer ever. He had the chainsaw head and arms, all of which he made himself, and HIS CHAINSAW ACTUALLY MOVED (the one on his head). Coolest thing ever

#if you're interested the ig of the cosplayer is fac.swordart #i also got extremely close to geese. i don't know why they were out of the water but they were and they were pestering people for food #oh also the usagi drink was grapefruit flavored. it was good but i should've cooled it before drinking it. i was just so excited to drink #it i opened it almost right away #i also almost bought but didn't:#a hatsune miku keychain. it had a pjsk drawing which made me not buy it #a hatsune miku poster. multiple actually #a cardcaptor sakura book keychain. i felt bad about buying it without having watched it and then later someone else bought it #i saw a lot of ccs and sailor moon stuff though. yet another sign i should watch them #sailor moon #pink my beloved💖#banana fish #cat rambles #my id

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silvercrane14 · 2 years

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Oh also to answer your question from before, my favorite is Zak(the emo). Also hiro<3

Lmg Hiro <333 my little cat boy <333

#he’s so beloved #also zakuro but Y’know #also my autocorrect tried to correct zakuro to sakura ironically #crane answers #jolteon ⚡️

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nemiisnemisis · 5 days

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falling back down the rabbit hole that is Yae Sakura again

my beloved

i wish for nothing but a happy ending for her for once. HYV why do u like making her suffer even in aus?

i still need to play pt 2 but i also cling onto pt 1 bc i played ggz before hi3-

still very upset they shut down the global server, i literally lost all the ppl I've played with for years :,)

also the boss themes were bangers even though i tended to get my ass kicked in higher difficulties

#oh ggz my beloved first hyv game I've ever played #URGEHRH WHYD U SHUT DOWN THE GLOBAL SERVER #YOU MADE KIAMEI BASICALLY CANON BUT I COULDNT ACCESS IT BC NO GLOBAL SERVER #raving ab ggz? yes.#but also mmm yae sakura #her story was so sad that i instantly clung to her #like youre stuck in a 500 yr loop of experiencing the worst day of your life #i think the lore was that she was forced to kill her sister as a sacrifice every time?#it's been a long time since ive played #but yea #basically that and then you find the love of your life(kallen) and shit happens and you get corrupted by the honkai #sigh....this is totally a sign for me to replay hi3 isnt it?#nemi rambles #its ggz/hi3 #it's been over 5 yrs. I'm still obsessed with those games

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happi-tree · 1 year

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18 for the ask thing!!

Hi, Nonnie! Hope you're doing well, lovebird 💗💗💗 Sorry this took me awhile to get to!

18. your boba/tea order?

Oh boy. So one (1) thing you should know about me is that I am a boba FIEND. I will go out for boba on every occasion I can and I get something different nearly every time! That said, I do have a few favorites for when I'm at a loss of what to order:

💜 lavender milk tea with boba (or blueberry bubbles)

🧡 thai milk tea with boba

💛 mango/papaya milk tea with boba (or passionfruit bubbles/jellies)

Also I tend to get these without ice because I don't like my milk tea getting super watery lmao

weirdly specific and unrelated asks to know someone well

#boba my absolute beloved. my little treat of choice <3 #also the bubble tea shop in my hometown had sakura flavor just for spring and it was so tasty #thanks for the ask lovebird!!!#ask game #nonnie #tea

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chubypotato · 1 month

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Someone hitting you in front of him.

Once again it is a request from our beloved @ijustloveshingekinokyojin

Including Umemiya, Sakura, Suo, Kiryu and nirei

Umemiya

You guys were just together looking for some item you've seen online and you really wanted them.

Seeing you so happy Umemiya heart couldn't help but to felt his heart melt.

Without you noticed Umemiya went into the store.

After a few second an unknown men went to meet you. Starting to talk to you.

Even though you told the guy to leave you alone he started to scream at you and even took your arm.

At the exact moment Umemiya cameback.

He didnt have the time to make a move that your fist meet this guy face.

When He tried to replicate you felt a hand on your waist and an important presence behind you.

That was of course your boyfriend. He's coming to help you.

"What do you think you're doing? "

Seeing the firing uniform the man left quickly.

When you asked Umemiya were he was he looked at you with adorable eyes showing you the product he bought that you guys came originally for.

Sakura

You guys were outside you went with Sakura and his friend on a patrol. You weren't used to go with him but you had nothing to do and you really wanted to spend time with him.

Sakura and you were behind everyone talking and stuff. You even manage to take his hand in yours. His face was slightly red but not that much noticeable.

When a men approached you and talking to you in an appropriate way. Telling you stuff you really didn't like and after all you are here to spend time with your boyfriend and to see how a Furin patrol is.

Sakura couldn't even say a thing before you jump on that guy to rip him apart. No thought needed just action. Your body moved before you could think.

The fight started and well obviously you won. Women supremacy. The men left running his tails between his leg. Not very brave for a men who went talk to you and even tried to flirt with you in front of the furin.

When you turn back everyone was looking at you. Such a pretty lady fighting like that. Quite impressive. The mouth were open not really know how to react or even what to say. But what did they expect you are Sakura 's girlfriend.

But honestly even him didn't know you could do that. The guy didn't even touch you once. You were so cool.

Sakura looked so proud like have you seen that? That's my girlfriend look.

"You can fight? Fight me. "

Bro now want to fight with and against you.

Suo

Walking hand in hand with your boyfriend he was listening to you while you were talking about your last interest of the moment.

It was such a cute moment everyone could tell you were loving bird.

That nice moment were cut off by a bunch of men who came by you

Without a thought suo put you behind him to protect his significant other.

Unfortunately the guys wouldn't let you off so a fight start.

Suo was doing as always amazing but he didn't see one of the guy approaching you.

It was only when you sent him fly to another guy suo was fighting that he turn around to see you angry.

Seriously it was a nice afternoon, the weather was nice but no people pissed you off.

You went by Suo to be behind him again. Sure you know how to fight but you don't want to.

After that you guys went by an item from your interest of the moment to cool you off.

Kiryu

Can we take a moment to appreciate how cute he looks on this image?

You guys were on a date in the arcade laughing and having fun playing.

It was such precious date to you since you could enjoy a passion in common but also cause let's not lie you beat every record on the arcade born.

After beating another record Kiryu told you he will comeback in a few and to just wait for him.

So here you are now trying to escape a boring conversation with a men who clearly want to take you home.

You wish your boyfriend would comeback soon but unfortunately it seems that he will take some time.

When you nicely said the men you didn't wish to speak to him and you already have someone he began to be more aggressive.

He took your arm begining to drag you closer to him. You couldn't do much since he has your arm so you hit him with you head on the nose.

He startind to bleed when his lift his hand to slap you.

You raise you arm ready to block him. But before you could a hand stopped him.

Kiryu came back. Finally. You were clearly not a princess in danger but if you could avoid fighting even though you know how to its better.

Kiryu was clearly really pissed off by this men. His pressure on the guy hand was strong and he didn't want to let go. Who do this guy think to touch you?

The guy otherwise did not let go to. They started to fight before a manager came to the situation and make everyone leave.

Kiryu look at you before giving you a plush he won while he was not with you that's why he left. Finally you guys ended up at his house playing game with the plush between your arm.

Nirei

You guys were walking on the street heading to a meet up with the other.

It was a nice day you actually came cause the meeting was called kinda late and you really wanted to meet your boyfriend's friend.

So here you are walking listening to Nirei talking about how Sakura tried to again started a fight and how he tried to stopped it while Suo encouraged it by his sarcastic comment.

At some point a guy came by you stopping you on your walks.

Dude tried to poorly rizz you when Nirei told him you weren't interested and then HE was YOUR boyfriend.

But the guy didn't like that his fist up he tried to hit Nirei when you stopped him and hit his elbow with your knee. Bam you broke it.

The guy left crying how much it hurts. Nirei was so impressed by you he even asked you to teach him how to do that.

You looked at him laughing when you slowly realise his friend was behind him. With all the sound the fight did obviously furin came to see what happened. And they saw everything.

And that is how you met you boyfriend's friends.

#anime #headcannons #kiryu #nireii #suo #windbreaker #windbreaker satoru nii x reader #windbreaker satorunii #x reader #as your boyfriend #windbreaker x yn #windbreaker x reader #wind breaker x reader #windbreaker anime

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doumadono · 2 months

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CONGRATULATIONS !!! Could I please get a cup of vanilla ice cream with maple syrup, preferably for Neuvilette or Wrio or Itto? (I'll take whatever you're offering, your writing is flawless!)

A/N: thank you, dear Nonnie! You're so sweet! Since you didn't specify the plot, I decided to create a few short sweet scenes with the boys

5k FOLLOWERS EVENT MASTERLIST GENSHIN IMPACT MASTERLIST

Wriothesley

Wriothesley found himself at a loss for words one dreary afternoon as he sat in his study, surrounded by stacks of parchment and ink-stained quills. Lost in thought, he was startled by the soft sound of your footsteps approaching.

"Wrio, darling, are you alright?" you asked, your voice filled with concern as you gently placed a hand on his shoulder.

The man sighed, his gaze meeting yours with a hint of vulnerability. "I fear I won't finish signing all these documents today, my dear. Try as I might, I cannot seem to finish this task that our beloved Neuvilette bestowed upon me."

Your eyes softened with understanding as you took a seat on his comfortable lap, your presence a comforting balm to his troubled soul. "Perhaps you simply need a gentle nudge in the right direction," you suggested with a tender smile. "If I were in your shoes, I'd suggest beginning with the lengthiest documents you have to sift through."

And so, with your encouragement, Wriothesely found himself immersed in a flurry of his stint, his quill dancing across the parchment. As the signatures flowed effortlessly from his pen, Wriothesley realized that his greatest muse that always helped him stayed focused had been by his side all along. As you settled into the comfortable embrace of his lap, his spare hand tenderly tracing the curve of your waist, he found himself consumed by thoughts of his deep affection for you. It wasn't merely your physical beauty that captivated him, but also the profound wisdom that emanated from your mind, weaving an irresistible charm that bound him to you completely.

Itto

Arataki found himself in an unexpected predicament one sunny afternoon. Amidst the chaos of his usual training routine, he stumbled upon a delicate sakura tree in full bloom. Entranced by its beauty, he couldn't help but admire it, his rough hands reaching out to caress the soft petals.

"Hey, Itto! What are you doing over there?" you called out, a spirited warrior with a heart of gold.

Itto turned, a bashful grin spreading across his rugged features. "Ah, just admiring this sakura tree. Reminds me of you, y'know? Beautiful and strong."

Your eyes sparkled with amusement as you approached, wrapping your arms around his broad frame. "You big softie," you teased, planting a kiss on his cheek. "Come on, let's enjoy the blossoms together."

And so, amidst the fluttering petals and gentle breeze, Itto and you spent the afternoon basking in each other's company, your laughter echoing through the tranquil grove.

Neuvilette

The Iudex, the suave and sophisticated man, found himself in a rather peculiar situation one evening as he strolled through the lush gardens of his estate. As he rounded a corner, he nearly collided with you, his girlfriend, a radiant beauty with a mischievous twinkle in your eyes.

"Ah, there you are, my dear," Neuvilette said with a charming smile. "I've been looking for you."

You giggled, a playful glint in your gaze. "I was hoping to steal a moment alone with you, away from the prying eyes of society."

Neuvilette's heart skipped a beat as he took your delicate hand in his own. "My dear, you need only ask, and I would gladly whisk you away to the ends of the earth."

With a soft laugh, you leaned in close, your lips brushing against his ear. "Then how about we start with a romantic stroll under the moonlit sky?"

And so, hand in hand, Neuvilette and you wandered through the gardens, your laughter mingling with the gentle rustle of leaves as you savored the magic of the night.

#genshin impact x reader #neuvilette genshin #neuvillette #wriothesley #wriothesley x reader #arataki itto #itto x reader #neuvilette x you #neuvilette x reader #itto x you #itto x y/n #neuvilette x y/n #wriothesley x you #wriothesley fluff #neuvilette fluff #itto fluff #arataki itto fluff #genshin impact fluff #x reader fluff

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japanwords · 2 months

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桜梅桃李 (o-bai-to-ri) “never compare yourself to others”

This yo-ji-juku-go (Japanese 4-character idiom) is comprised of 4 beloved Japanese trees. They are:

桜 = cherry (sakura)

梅 = apricot (ume)

桃 = peach (momo)

李 = plum (sumomo)

Each of these iconic trees blossoms in its own time and in its own unique way.

桜 (sakura) are of course the cherry blossom trees famous for blooming spectacularly and incredibly briefly once a year, usually in April. Sakura trees in full bloom is an annual event, and people go to their local park to see them, take photos, and have picnics underneath them. It's such a big deal that it's reported on the weather forecast, with reporters commenting on how quickly the "sakura front" is moving northwards across the country.

梅 (ume) is the "ume" in umeshu! This is a sweet liqueur which is made from soaking ume in sake. It tastes amazing, and is one of the things I miss most about Japan. Japanese learners will no doubt recognise "ume" as usually being translated as "plum", however it is technically closer to the Western apricot.

桃 (momo) is one of the best-loved fruits in Japan. There is even a fairy story called "Momo-taro" about a little boy who comes from inside a peach. He grows up to be a great hero, of course, and saves everyone from a demon. "Momo" is also a fairly common girls' name.

李 (sumomo) are known as "Japanese plums" or "Asian plums". The trees are famous for their delicate white flowers. They usually bloom just before the sakura. Whilst not as famous or as showy as sakura, they are well-loved for their elegance, and for being a sign of spring.

This one-off calligraphy artwork is available on my Etsy shop here:

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goldennikko · 1 year

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BELOVED UNNIE — le sserafim

summary : you're a tough person who never showed any signs of weakness, but then you got sick and the group went live, so you had no choice but to join them. you didn't let anyone know, but one of the girls noticed and the fans watched as they doted on you.

pairing : le sserafim x 6th member!reader

tags : f!reader ; idol!au ; reader is '98 liner ; platonic!eunchae ; but the other girls adore you (romantically or platonically? who knows)

requested: ✘

word count : 4k

you had been feeling awful since the moment you woke up. you were burning up, but you also wanted to spend the entire day wrapped up in a burrito. unfortunately for you, the group had to go to the hybe building, and here you were in the freezing dance practice room, wrapped up in yunjin's jacket, which wasn't enough to keep the cold at bay.

"ah, unnie is here!" chaewon said, waving you over. she hadn't noticed you leave the room before and got worried when they started the live and you weren't there.

the other girls cheered, with yunjin being the loudest of all. you smiled, but the noise made the painful throbbing in your head worse.

when you were within reach, chaewon grabbed your wrist and pulled you to sit next to her. you tried not to wince at her strength; her grip wasn't tight, but the pull shook you enough to make you dizzy. you managed to sit next to her, waving and greeting the fans that were watching.

"hi, everyone~" your throat was scratchy, so your voice sounded a little different than usual, and sakura noticed it, leaning forward to look at you, but brushed it off when she saw you bouncing excitedly next to chaewon as the short-haired read the comment intended for you.

the girls gazed at you with adoration in their eyes as you answered the question. the fans pointed it out, causing eunchae to look at her unnies with a disgusted expression on her face.

you saw the maknae through the phone screen and burst out laughing. despite their confusion, the girls laughed along, founding you absolutely adorable.

"what? what? why are you laughing?" sakura asked.

you pointed at eunchae and she made the same face when you asked her to, the girls joined in on your laughter. your leader, on the other hand, kept a wary eye on you as you hid your face in your elbow.

chaewon grabbed your thigh and squeezed it to get your attention while they were busy with eunchae. you looked at her, brows furrowed in silent question. you slightly backed away from her as she leaned in close, not wanting any of your members to be near you at the moment.

chaewon narrowed her eyes. that was strange. you liked affection and didn't mind when the girls clung to you, so seeing you flinch away from her when she hadn't even done anything was strange.

you smiled nervously. "everything okay?"

i should be the one asking you that, chaewon thought as she observed your rather pale face, but had to look away from you when sakura called for her.

you sighed, mentally thanking sakura for drawing chaewon's attention away from you. your leader was too observant, or perhaps she just enjoyed watching you so much that she noticed everything about you.

however, the way she held onto your thigh and the look she gave you before turning away told you the conversation wasn't over.

a dance battle was suddenly proposed. you had no idea who suggested it and you didn't really care who because you were too busy panicking when you saw yunjin approaching you.

the dance battle was apparently going to be by pair and yunjin had chosen you as hers. the american slid across the floor on her knees, grabbing your hands that were covered by her jacket sleeves, finding it cute because her jacket almost swallowed you whole.

despite the pounding in your head, you laughed at her antics, causing yunjin to smile widely. her heart skipped a beat as she moved her face closer to yours. unfortunately, you couldn't pull away this time because she was holding you in place.

"be my partner, unnie." yunjin dramatically said, causing the girls to squeal while everyone in the comment section was going crazy.

you giggled and leaned down to rest your forehead on her shoulders, trying to play it off. when in reality, you were wincing against the fabric of her shirt. too loud, you thought.

"yes, yes. i'll be your partner." you murmured.

yunjin, thinking you were shy, let go of your hands and wrapped her arms around your body. you recovered quickly and rubbed her back, albeit hesitantly, before giving your hand to yunjin, who gently helped you to your feet.

sakura and kazuha had teamed up, leaving chaewon and eunchae together. yunjin had her arm around your shoulders, keeping you close, while chaewon scoured the comment section for a song to dance to. it took her a bit long because the leader would cast an occasional glance your way, watching you close your eyes for a brief moment. yunjin was too busy teasing everyone else to notice your struggle.

chaewon opted to choose a song at random, which was run bts. when the song started, yunjin quickly pulled you to the center and your body automatically moved to the music. sakura and eunchae were cheering for you both, while kazuha stood there silently in awe, clapping her hands.

you nailed the dance as usual, but chaewon couldn't help but notice the stagger every now and then from your part.

the leader was convinced that something was wrong with you at this point. after you had finished dancing, yunjin wrapped her arms around your waist and lifted you off your feet. as she spun the two of you around, you squealed and clutched her shoulders for dear life, masking your wince with a smile that didn't reach your eyes.

"we'll go next!" sakura volunteered and kazuha tailed her.

sakura crossed her arms and raised her brows at yunjin as the duo stood in front of you. the american gently put you back to your feet and you staggered slightly due to the room spinning, causing both the american and the ballerina to reach out to steady you.

"i'm sorry!" yunjin laughed, apologetic eyes trained on you. you waved her away, assuring sakura, who was worried as well before they were back to their silly antics.

"we will defeat you." sakura playfully said and yunjin played along, staring her down. "bring it on, unnie."

kazuha had switched sides, clinging to the sleeve of your jacket, while you simply chuckled at the scene before you two. you turned to her and finally saw the innocent eyes she was giving you.

you recognized that look, the hug me please look.

normally, you would give her a big hug, but you only wrapped an arm around her waist and squeezed her before pulling away.

"hug please~" unsatisfied, the japanese pouted and whined, but you chuckled and patted her stomach.

"good luck, my zuha." you encouraged the ballerina.

that was enough for her, for now at least, and she beamed while thanking you. she was still going to get that hug later.

the japanese ballerina was too cute.

you walked away from the chaos, eunchae had joined them, and chaewon approached you with her arms wide open. you wanted to avoid her, but you were reminded of the live when sakura and eunchae briefly conversed with the fans, so you let chaewon hug you.

"shit. you're hot, unnie." she hissed quietly, one hand wrapping around your nape.

even if she didn't touch you, she could feel the heat you were emitting, but you were burning hot when her palm touched your skin. it's so hot that you could cook an egg on it. she narrowed her eyes at you, but worry was swimming in them.

you let out a sigh. there was no denying it any longer, but that didn't mean you couldn't dismiss her concern.

"i know, chaewon-ie. thank you." you joked and the shorter girl blushed heavily.

while that was correct, chaewon did not intend it that way. you chuckled, which caused the girl to glare up at you, and you raised your brows in amusement.

"you look like a chipmunk right now." you teased, ruffling her hair and walking past her.

chaewon was frustrated by your insufferable behavior at times. by that, she meant you always hiding it when you're not feeling well and acting casually about it even when confronted.

you sat on the floor and rested your head against the wall. the coolness of it reduced the intense pounding in your head. you melted against it. you noticed yunjin going to the phone to select a song for the japanese duo, but your attention was drawn to chaewon, who left the room after one last look at you.

you sighed. she was going to tell the manager for sure. you couldn't dwell on the thought for long, though, because you felt a weight on your lap. when you opened your eyes, you locked gazes with eunchae in the mirror.

"hi, unnie." the maknae grinned.

"hey, baby gorl~" you sang jokingly, making the young girl giggle uncontrollably, your fingers poking her sides. she wiggled as she tried to avoid you, but ended up melting against you.

whatever your circumstances were, you couldn't push everyone's favorite baby off you, so you let eunchae rest on you. you were relieved that you were fully clothed from head to toe to avoid any accidental direct skin contact.

you didn't want to worry her or anyone else in the group, so you didn't tell them. you were the oldest and they were all your responsibility, including chaewon, even though she was the leader.

yunjin had finally chosen a song, to which the japanese duo danced, with the three of you cheering them on. the american found herself standing next to both of your sitting forms, shouting encouraging words. eunchae was doing the same thing, though not as dramatically as yunjin, but more dramatically than you.

although you were in pain, sitting between your two loud members while sick was totally not ideal, you shouted along.

chaewon slipped inside quietly and your gaze was drawn down to the plastic bag she was carrying. yunjin and eunchae were too busy yelling to notice and the leader was concerned to see you now openly wincing behind eunchae, making sure to keep your face hidden from the camera.

too much. it was too much, you thought.

when sakura and kazuha finished dancing and everyone clapped, dramatic compliments were thrown everywhere, you broke eye contact with chaewon. you were just smiling and nodding as you rested your chin on eunchae's shoulder.

"cheer me on, unnie!" the maknae yelled, pointing at you as she stood up from your lap.

you grinned, putting your hands on top of where your heart should be. "i'm your biggest fan, baby gorl! hong eunchae! hong eunchae! hong eunchae!"

"why are you cheering them on, but not us?" kazuha chimed in, pouting at you.

kazuha was just joking, everyone knew that, but you freaked out. you flailed your arms in an attempt to deny it, but eunchae's laugh fueled the entire situation. yunjin was also not helping, the american was making fun of both of you.

"ooh, unnie~ even i will be jealous, too!" yunjin laughed at your pouting face before turning to the japanese ballerina, delivering a smack to her arm, causing kazuha to fly off to the side.

"no, no, no!"

meanwhile, sakura stood there, mindlessly swiping through the screen for a song to play. she had a small smile on her lips as you defend yourself against yunjin and kazuha, who had joined forces. by that point, eunchae was wailing on the floor. she only looked away when chaewon approached, tilting her head at the plastic bag she handed her.

"what's this?" sakura queried, but took it from the short-haired girl.

chaewon sighed, running a hand through her short hair in frustration. "y/n unnie is sick. she's burning hot right now."

sakura's eyes widened as she fixed her gaze on you. it made sense to her now why your voice sounded like that the whole time and why you appeared pale even from a distance.

the second eldest had also noticed your random staggerings earlier, but blamed it on the adrenaline coursing through your veins. even when you were sick, you seemed excited, but she would admit it was toned down a little.

sakura sighed. she placed far too much trust in you, but she should have known better. the japanese ushered chaewon to the center of the room, where everyone was still arguing.

"i'll handle this." sakura said and chaewon walked away, leaving the older girl to quickly select a song.

"stop, stop!" chaewon stressed out, dissolving the play fight between you.

you caught chaewon's eyes as you assisted eunchae from the floor. you gave her a subtle thumbs up and she curtly nodded before taking eunchae with her, the music finally playing in the background.

"wooh! go, baby gorl!" yunjin yelled while kazuha clapped excitedly from next to her, cheering along.

"chaewon-ah! you look so good!" you cheered teasingly and chaewon briefly glanced at you, scrunching her nose in disapproval, but you didn't miss the blush across her cheeks.

they began to dance and everyone erupted into cheers before you noticed sakura staring at you. she waved you over and you gave the leader and maknae one last cheer before approaching her. you were given a light pinch on the cheek once you arrived and you yelped in response to her affection slash brutal action and pouted at the japanese.

"you should've told us."

sakura handed you the water bottle and medicine, a disapproving look on her face. you sighed and avoided her gaze, not liking the disappointment in it before downing what you were given.

"i didn't want to worry you girls." you murmured.

sakura reached up to take your face in her hands, her frown deepening as she felt the intense heat on your face, and caressed your jaw with her thumbs.

"i know we're the oldest here. you're the oldest among us. but let us worry about you as well." sakura scolded lightly and you nodded, sighing in defeat.

you both joined the girls and distributed the extra water bottles brought by chaewon. yunjin, kazuha, and eunchae noticed your interaction with sakura and gave you two a puzzled look. you exchanged a look with your fellow '98 liner, who nodded, indicating she'd explain what was going on.

while you and chaewon were diverting the attention of the fans, sakura quietly gathered the girls behind you two.

"unnie is sick?!" yunjin whisper-yelled.

"yeah, she's hot." sakura mindlessly said, watching you carefully.

"she is." kazuha replied with a firm nod.

sakura shook her head frantically, she didn't mean to say you were hot like that. yunjin simply laughed in agreement with the ballerina. eunchae's jaw dropped to the floor before her expression turned into one of disgust and punched yunjin's arm, causing the american to laugh even harder.

their concerns returned when you turned around and left chaewon to cough into your elbow. yunjin was the first to approach you with her arms outstretched. you accepted her hug and watched as sakura dragged eunchae with her to the leader. you laughed at the maknae as she whined, wanting to console you.

while you relished yunjin's warmth, kazuha reached out to touch your forehead. the heat you were giving off caused the ballerina to scrunch her nose. yunjin rubbed her cheek against yours, her brows furrowed. you noticed their concern, so you smiled and patted yunjin's lower back while tapping kazuha's chin.

"i'm okay. it's just a fever." you whispered.

yunjin grimaced. "you're too hot, unnie."

"i know. thank you, babe." you grinned cheekily.

yunjin laughed at your confidence and backed away, allowing kazuha to take her place. as yunjin rubbed your back, the american watched you bury your face in kazuha's neck.

"don't blame me if you get sick afterwards." you mumbled.

kazuha swayed you gently. "you didn't give me a hug earlier." the ballerina pouted.

"okay, okay, my zuha. i'm giving you one now, aren't i?"

kazuha hummed happily in response.

yunjin smiled and leaned down to whisper in your ear, her lips brushing against your hot skin. "join us in a bit, unnie."

you gave her an almost unnoticeable nod because you were melting against kazuha, and yunjin kissed you on the head before joining the others.

kazuha's silence and warmth were soothing. the first part of the live was so chaotic that it was unbearable due to your headache, but you didn't want to worry the girls, so you stayed.

but now the ballerina was providing you with the soothing silence you craved.

kazuha didn't move and let you rest on her.

"come on, zuha, let's join them."

the ballerina was disappointed when you pulled away a moment later and dragged her back to the group, but she didn't say anything. eunchae quickly clung to your arm and sakura immediately asked you a question about something she had seen minutes before.

the girls fell silent as you explained your side of the debate, and yunjin listened intently while scanning the comments section, but then she noticed a comment.

i love how the girls go quiet when y/n is speaking <3

that reminds yunjin of the earlier chaos and she scolded herself internally for being too loud around you. eunchae was thinking the same thing because she had noticed yunjin freeze next to her and had read the comment as well.

the maknae pouted sadly, her grip tightening unconsciously around your arm, causing you to look down at the girl. you made a mental note to ask her later and opted to pat her on the head instead.

the girls continued to shower you with affection while being mindful of the volume of their voices around you. you had to end the live a few minutes later because your manager, whom chaewon had called earlier to take you all home, had knocked on the door.

you waved goodbye to the camera and soon found yourself in the back of the van with yunjin and eunchae, which you used as an opportunity to question the maknae about what had caused her behavior to change.

"eunchae?" the youngest hummed while the rest of the girls perked up at your voice. "everything okay?"

you didn't miss the way yunjin's and eunchae's shoulders tense up in response to your question. you ignored the other girls who turned around to listen and cast a brief glance at the american, but she avoided your gaze, so you focused on eunchae.

you tapped her chin to make her look at you as she had moved her gaze to her lap. "mind telling me?"

eunchae hesitated, but your soft gaze assured her that you weren't mad. you were tired, yes, but you were not mad.

"were we too loud?"

you blinked, perplexed by her question, and simply chuckled. you felt yunjin's gaze on you, so you briefly met her gaze before tapping eunchae's chin again to console her.

"yes, everyone was, but you didn't know i was sick. it's okay, princess."

"sorry." yunjin murmured.

you nudged the american, making her look at you. you raised your brows at her. "what did i just say, hm?"

yunjin pouted and buried her face in your hair while eunchae grumbled her argument. you only chuckled and comforted the girls in your arms. chaewon and sakura had taken out their phones to take photos, while kazuha looked like she wants to leave her seat and join you three.

but they were relieved to hear you say that, too.

"but please, unnie, tell us if you're not feeling well." chaewon joined in.

the spotlight was back on you in an instant.

you apologetically smiled and nodded. "sorry."

"that's why you stole my jacket." yunjin pointed out.

you grimaced at her sparkling eyes. "i prefer the term borrowed, jen, but yes."

yunjin shook her head. "stole, unnie. stole."

sakura chuckled at your banter. "hopefully, there won't be next time, but tell us. you hear me, l/n?" she scolded lightly.

"rely on us, too, unnie." kazuha mumbled, but you heard her.

apart from sakura, kazuha relied heavily on you for her korean because you can also speak japanese. you looked after her during her trainee days and continued to do so; you would even accompany her when she wanted to go exploring. the ballerina desired that you rely on her to repay the favor.

not only her, but the rest of the girls, too.

chaewon relied on you and sakura. as the leader, she felt a lot of pressure, so you were always there to give her comfort, assurances, and lots of hugs. when it became too much, you'd take charge. she'd find herself making her way to your room in the middle of the night to ask for it and you'd always give without complaint.

when the hate over her debuting again became unbearable, sakura turned to you. you always know when that happens and the japanese will cling to you while you reassure her. the first time it happened was when you came home late from an individual schedule and caught her in the living room. after that, you cooked her favorite japanese food despite the fact that all you wanted to do at the time was pass out on your bed.

kazuha was there, too, but she had no idea what was happening and just joined you because she caught the smell from her room.

when yunjin arrived in hybe, you were the first person she met. you were her first friend there, so she was more attached to you than to anyone else. you were always there to reassure her that she, too, deserved to make her debut, but perhaps the timing wasn't quite right. that's how you and the american met; she was crying about it in a practice room, and you took her out to dinner afterwards.

finally, eunchae, whom you had claimed as your daughter. everyone knew not to mess with eunchae because you'd always be there to back your daughter, no matter what. she'd cling to you whenever she missed her family and you'd give her the affection she craved.

and you, you were tough, and chaewon sometimes curses you for being tough. you were the oldest, so you always tried your hardest to keep your cool so you could be there for the other girls.

they hadn't seen you in a vulnerable state.

and now, you were sick; even if it was a minor thing, the girls would do their best to nurse you back to health.

you sighed, but a smile was on your face. "okay."

"good. you're sleeping with me, unnie." chaewon's sudden announcement caused a commotion inside the van.

"no way." the girls immediately said in unison and yunjin even added another comment to emphasize her disapproval. "what are you saying?"

chaewon crossed her arms. "i need to monitor her temperature."

sakura quickly shook her head. "i can do that, chaewon. leave it to me."

yunjin leaned forward and made a 'x' with her arms. "unnie is sleeping with me!"

"i want to take care of unnie, too!" kazuha raised her voice.

"me, too." eunchae almost flew out of her seat, eager to join the argument.

you sat there, your brow furrowed in amusement. you sat quietly listening as the girls argued about who you should sleep with tonight. the girls' antics were amusing, but your head was pounding again, and you could tell your manager was concerned by the way he looked at you, so you stepped in.

"quiet."

the girls quieted down at your commanding, albeit scratchy, voice, and you almost coughed because you had raised your voice so much that it irritated your throat. they looked at you, sheepish and apologetic, and you sighed.

"everyone will sleep in the living room. we'll make a pillow fort."

because their beloved unnie's words are their command, they exchanged a glance and nodded in agreement. you sighed and closed your eyes, yunjin resting her head on yours and eunchae leaning against your shoulders.

"no more hiding, okay?" sakura told you later on as you got out of the van.

"promise, kkura." you gave her a gentle smile and nod, squeezing her hand before dragging her into the dorm.

they may be annoyingly loud at times, but you love them for it.

but you do wish they'd tone it down for the time being before your head explodes.

nikko note: this is a bit too long, i hope that's okay? i'm so sorry. how was it? T^T anyway, hope you enjoyed it! thanks for reading!

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meimi-haneoka · 1 month

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Clear Card Trivia 3 ~ Sakura's journey of growth and self-understanding throughout Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card

Hello and welcome back to my "Clear Card Trivia" series, a collection of informative posts where I delve into certain aspects of the story of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card! ✨

The topic I will talk about today has been on my "to-do list" for long time. It's something I felt the need to talk about, and I won't hide the reason why: the desire to fully eviscerate this topic grew particularly after reading around certain criticism of Clear Card Arc. But also after listening to CLAMP's Twitter Spaces, particularly the ones towards the end of the story.

It's something that, setting aside my obvious love for the new characters, will always make me think that Clear Card Arc has been a very welcome addition to the series.

This post will delve into Sakura's growth throughout Clear Card Arc.

Sakura grew up considerably during the story, and had a character development that sadly not many people truly realized.

I'm not talking about an evolution of the character design which, despite changing and evolving throughout the story (as it's expected for a long-running serialization), kept depicting Sakura consistently with quite young looks...no, I'm talking about her mental growth, in relation to her self-knowledge and her relationship with her magic powers.

A journey that might almost feel "frustrating", because it is full of "up and downs", and Sakura sometimes seems to be taking one step forward and two back. Aside from the obvious practical reasons (the plot had to develop several other storylines simultaneously), it very much reflects the realistic growth of a pre-teen, which is never a straight line but is made of improvements and relapses.

Along the journey, I couldn't really avoid mentioning some bits of the development of Sakura's relationship with Syaoran, which will get its own deep and detailed post another day.

There's also an extra about the significance of the Clear Cards in the story, at the end.

I have to be honest, the post is very long, but I tried to insert visual elements to make it easier on the eye. If you're curious to know how the hell I found so much to talk about for this specific topic, follow me under the cut and dive into Sakura's journey throughout Clear Card (it's also a good way to review the story)! ✨

A Disconnected Beginning

Clear Card Arc starts in a very "festive" and happy way: everything is peaceful, a new exciting chapter of Sakura's educational life is starting with the beginning of middle school, Syaoran is back to Tomoeda, this time to stay forever with his beloved girl...everything seems so perfect. And precisely in chapter 1, before everything takes an unexpected turn, we have this scene here, which I consider the "true" beginning of everything:

Sakura says "I haven't been using this lately...well, that's for the better".

At the beginning of Clear Card Arc, Sakura seems to be feeling disconnected from her natural gift.

Despite she had to go on a quest to collect all the Clow Cards, which later she gave a new life to by changing them into Sakura Cards, we have to remember that Sakura was born with magic powers. They weren't bestowed on her by Kero-chan, nor by the contract with the Clow Book: she always had magic in her blood, and it apparently "woke up" on that fateful day she found the Clow Book in the library of her father.

At the beginning of this arc, Sakura seems to think that the purpose, the meaning of this natural gift which is literally part of herself, has been fulfilled by transforming all the Cards, and splitting Eriol's power as he had requested. Her words here seem to be suggesting a general idea of "if I have to use this key (therefore, my magic powers), it means something troublesome is happening, so it's better if I'm not using it because it means everything is okay".

And although we can't really deny that what happened afterwards is far from being able to be considered "peaceful", this scene here always left a bad taste in my mouth because there's almost a negative vibe attached to the idea of her magic, transpiring from Sakura's words. It's almost as if she's politely rejecting it.

Precisely after she places her Star Key in her jewelry box, probably hoping to never have to use it again, she has her first premonitory dream of the events that will shake her life afterwards. Almost as if her powers were trying to tell her "no my dear, this is you and you'd better come to terms with it as soon as possible".

Then, as we all know, the Cards turn blank. Sakura produces a new key while having another dream and a quest to fight and "secure" some strange phenomena happening around her begins, leaving her in a state of increasing confusion.

This is the beginning of the part of the story that I quite literally call "Sakura loses sight of herself".

At this very early stage of the story, she still doesn't know that she started losing control over her increasing magical power, and it is definitely not a coincidence that all of this began when she thought of shutting her main magic tool away in a box, hoping to ignore it forever. For plot reasons, this also happens simultaneously to Syaoran taking the spirits of the Sakura Cards away from her (because in the beginning, you had to be tricked into thinking he was up to something shady and was the real mastermind behind all the incidents).

Syaoran expected for Sakura to lose control over her powers, as his mother predicted a general period of trouble for her that could lead her to unhappiness, albeit without any clear indication of what could happen: Syaoran came to Japan knowing something was bound to happen to his girl and her powers, and that something was going to lead her to grief, but he had no idea about all the rest. So his uncertain and reckless approach, which ended up in some cases worsening the situation, is also somewhat understandable. He was acting like a worried, overprotective boyfriend at his wit's end.

The strange events, which Sakura materializes into a new set of Cards, surely leave her distraught and confused, not to mention the situation with the Sakura Cards and Eriol's missing replies, but I feel that what really destabilizes her core are the constant dreams she gets, sometimes even in the middle of her waking hours, making her faint on the spot wherever she is.

Premonitory dreams are a part of her natural gift that she began to express ever since the OG manga, but she never seemed to really understand them or take them seriously.

This time around, she keeps seeing this cloaked figure and this terrifying dragon, no one speaks a word despite her relentless questions and the cloaked figure seems to be wanting to take her newly made key away (Lilie!!! what were you trying to do!! *facepalm* she probably tried to pull her closer so she could talk to her), so it's just normal that all of that leaves her increasingly stressed and anxious, even though initially you never see her openly and verbally stating that, due to her overall positive nature ("I'll manage it, somehow" is part of her "everything will be alright" invincible spell, and this is indeed what she keeps telling herself in the beginning of the arc, even though in some occasions it turned out to be a double-edged sword, as sometimes it looked more like sweeping her fears under the carpet, to me).

"Something Is Not Right"

Dream after dream, Card after Card, Sakura begins to have these general feelings of discomfort and of "something is not right, here", as she openly states to Syaoran in this scene of volume 4, chapter 14. There's something about this situation that is pricking her sixth sense, and makes her uneasy, but she can't quite put her finger on it yet. All she can do is to keep "fighting" these phenomena happening around her, hoping to find out more along the way. She reiterates the same feeling of uneasiness at the end of chapter 15, after what I consider one of the most concerning side-effects of her poor control over her powers: Sakura seems almost "in trance" while she leads her guardians to the exit of the maze, and acts in a very uncharacteristic, cold way by shoving her bag in front of Yue to make him hold it for her. It's almost as if her magical sixth sense worked too strongly and warped her personality in that moment: an effect that has been mentioned several times in relation to powerful magicians like Clow, Eriol and later Kaito too, so it's not farfetched at all to attribute this one-off occurrence to her loss of control over her strong powers, which ended up affecting her personality too. Luckily, it didn't happen again in the rest of the story and the capture of this Card was completely changed in the anime (a wise decision imho, since the JP fandom is particularly fussy about the integrity of Sakura's character, and she needed to stay "Sakura" in order to do what she did at the end).

At the culmination of a "mini arc" (the visit to great-grandpa Masaki) characterized by uncontrolled visions of Nadeshiko, another frightening dream (one that ended up dragging even Akiho in, due to the synchronization) and Sakura for the first time ever confronting Syaoran about the things he's been hiding from her, we reach the following scene of volume 5, chapter 23.

"I Wish I Had A Mirror"

I always considered this scene extremely important, because for the first time Sakura spells out clearly the inner turmoil that's been gnawing at her soul ever since this ordeal with the new Cards started.

"The truth is...I'm the worst at understanding myself. And that is probably causing lots of concern to everyone." "I wish I had a mirror. A mirror that could reflect the real me. Then, I would probably understand how to not make everyone worry"

Here, Sakura clearly spells out the frustration of knowing, feeling in her bones that there's something wrong with her, something that she's not understanding about herself, and that something is causing problems, but most importantly, is causing her loved ones to worry about her. Let's not forget that not only Syaoran, but also Yukito, Touya, Fujitaka, Tomoyo, Eriol & his family have all been watching her situation in apprehension, each of them making decisions and moving discretely in a direction they felt was right (and admittedly, not all instances were so).

Sakura can somehow feel all of that, she can feel that it's related to something she still hasn't realized about herself. This tends to be forgotten because it happens in a relatively early part of the plot, but notice how this is the same problem Kaito suffers from. A quite stunted ability to understand oneself. Sakura and Kaito definitely have lots in common, when it comes to this specific part of themselves. Keep this in mind, because it'll be relevant later.

And then, the situation worsens.

Sakura's dreams start to terrify her, because they begin to show Syaoran's face under the cloak of the mysterious figure who's scaring her in her dreams. An apparent truth she cannot accept, she won't accept, even though she's still unsure about what exactly these dreams she's having are. Despite her boyfriend has been acting shady for long time, she decides to trust him and wait for him to talk to her about all the stuff he's holding inside, instead of putting him through the wringer. This also means, though, that Sakura will keep all her fears to herself, eventually bottling up.

Furthermore, Kaito starts to rewind time to fix a situation without a way out (in chapter 28, Akiho was on the verge of going berserk completely and unleash the artifact), creating an additional sense of confusion when Sakura can feel that her finger is numb due to strain, but she can't understand why (she had fought Kaito's time magic unconsciously). Whenever Kaito will rewind time, even later on, Sakura's magical sixth sense will try to wake her consciousness up more and more, giving her these vibes of "deja vu" or making her act in an apparently inexplicable way.

In the first part of Clear Card, Sakura sometimes literally looks like a soul wandering about in confusion, dragged by the events.

I wish to point out that this is not a flaw in the characterization, it is a precise design by CLAMP. Sakura IS, in this part of the story, confused and lost, overwhelmed by the events. She has no idea how to approach this matter other than "treating the symptoms" as they come. This happens because she's still, surprisingly, quite reluctant to embrace a fundamental part of herself: her innate magic power, which expresses itself mainly through her intuition. But we'll gradually get there.

Around chapter 30, before the big realization, Sakura's situation reached a point where:

- her Sakura Cards unexpectedly became blank; - almost everyday (sometimes multiple times a day) there's a new incident that she secures into new transparent Cards; - she constantly sees ominous dreams (in scattered order) with a cloaked figure acting in a questionable way and a scary dragon, and at some point she starts seeing her boyfriend under that cloak; - her boyfriend acts shady, Eriol doesn't reply to her messages; - there's a general feeling of "something is not right" with her magic and some stuff starts to not make sense to her (because Kaito rewinds time)

It is at this point that Sakura finally moves one (giant) step forward and connects all the "puzzle pieces" she collected (particularly, how much more "obvious" the creation of a Card became) and understands that she's been the one causing subconsciously each and every single incident that lead to the creation of a new transparent Card.

"I'm Angry At Myself"

And with Syaoran finally coming clean with her (because at that point he had no reason to keep things hidden anymore, as the thing he was trying to delay ultimately happened - and believe me, I'm sure he partly felt relieved to not need to lie anymore, as that took quite a toll on him too), Sakura can at last give an explanation to at least a part of the things that are happening. And she finally realizes that the doubt that was tormenting her was true: she DID, in fact, not understand something very important about herself, she didn't realize that it was her own power going out of control and that all the incidents that happened bore "her magic signature", so to speak. She failed to "tune in" with her magic.

For the first time ever, Sakura expresses anger at herself.

She will direct that anger (to a lesser extent) to Syaoran too, but I'll tackle that in a separate post.

This is a moment of deep reflection and regrets for Sakura: the poor understanding of herself, the poor "communication" between her heart and her magic powers brought to a situation where her most beloved person was putting himself in danger in order to protect her, while trying to not make things escalate. This is a very sensitive, beautiful and important moment, steeped in conflicting and complex feelings (and remember, Sakura is just a pre-teen. It is normal for a pre-teen like her to not understand herself, but there's just one tiny detail: she's not a common pre-teen, due to her natural gift, and she needs to take that into account). Eventually Sakura calms down, and after creating Rewind, her resolute face while hugging tightly Syaoran suggests that from now on she'll face this matter from another, more courageous and determined perspective.

Or at least, these were her good intentions. Because unfortunately, insecurities are hard to eradicate and in the central part of the story it's shocking to realize how far longer Sakura will insist in shutting away her emotions and refusing to listen to her heart (and intuition) fully.

"It's Just My Imagination"

Part of Sakura's anxiety might have been sedated with the revelation that the Clear Cards are produced by the girl herself, but unfortunately the true core of her problems was not solved at all and will only surface more clearly in the next 20 chapters.

Sakura actively starts having "premonitory bad feelings" when she sees Akiho in volume 7 chapter 34, a bad feeling that she does check with Syaoran, but quickly dismisses as "well, it's just my imagination". This will basically be one of the major problems preventing her from reaching the complete control of her magic. Sakura, knowing her magic potential, should've given way more credit to her sixth sense, but her anxiety, her insecurity and her crippled connection to her innate gift still pushes her to dismiss these "signs" as nothing really important or true. Timely as hell, a few hours later something bad will indeed happen to Akiho, where she completely loses consciousness for the first time and the clan/Association actively starts to absorb Sakura's power through the artifact implanted in Akiho. All of this was caused by the high concentration of magic that "triggered" Akiho's artifact (and here I have to sarcastically "applaud" Kaito, just like Syaoran he's another one who does stuff before thinking through, ultimately worsening the problem).

Once trapped in Akiho's artifact, thanks to her power Sakura can see the most horrifying glimpse of Akiho's past, when she was turned into a magic artifact, by living it on her own skin. And even though Kaito is forced to rewind time once again to save the situation, erasing these memories from Sakura's head, her heart (which is tightly connected to her magical sixth sense - I'd daresay her heart is straight up the source of her magic) DOES REMEMBER, pushing Sakura to act in an apparently irrational way, crying and hugging Akiho tight in empathy. Sakura is particularly shaken by this feeling, still in pain even hours later, but once again she doesn't understand where it comes from. However, she does express with Syaoran an intention to talk to him about it once she's able to put it into words, and in the meantime do her best with all the rest. At least, there's an intention to understand better this part of herself, but it's still soon to see actual results.

Aaand CLAMP really seem to be wanting to test Sakura in this arc, because at this point of the plot, they add the electrocution spell. 😅 No one seems to understand who caused it (it's not Sakura, nor Kaito, but now we know it was none other than Yelan!!) and Sakura's anxiety increases once again. The fact only Syaoran gets affected by it inevitably reignites the doubts in her mind, unwittingly reminded of that terrifying dream of Cloaked Syaoran she keeps seeing...but she stubbornly keeps telling herself "no, it's not like that, it's just a dream". It's undeniable that this situation where she cannot understand her foretelling dreams yet, and the way they show her scattered hints because her power is out of control, has surely contributed to Sakura's insecurity when it comes to trust her own intuition.

Her power is so out of control at this point, that even when Kaito shrinks her and throws her in a hole carved into a tree (landing in a "world" created with magic where he hopes she'll create the right Card) her dreams take over again (it's apparent by the "shaaan" sound and how everything turns suddenly pitch black, a common background of her dreams), showing her Akiho in the dress she was wearing when she was turned into an artifact and, inevitably, Sakura's biggest fear, "Cloaked Syaoran". Pay attention because these visions she's getting here thanks to her power match what will happen later on: what the talking flowers tell her here will turn out to be the beginning of the lyrics of the main theme of the "Alice in Clockland" play. This vision of Cloaked Syaoran seemingly "about to do something" to Akiho horrifies Sakura to the point of screaming in terror and creating one of the most unsettling Cards, "Break". It is after this very scary moment that Sakura starts to wonder very specifically for what purpose she is creating all these Cards. The purpose is actually more than one, but she definitely posed herself THE RIGHT question, as this brings her one step closer to the core of the problem and eventually embracing her own magic abilities.

Then, between chapters 43 and 45 we finally start to see some changes in Sakura: surprisingly, she begins to listen more to her sixth sense, first catching Yukito red-handed while activating a newly acquired magic, and then wondering about a strange painful feeling in her chest when her father tells her that lately she and Akiho became even more similar. We were all lead to believe that this was the foreshadowing of Akiho taking her place (cause everything in the plot at this point deceivingly hints at Kaito wanting to switch them), but she actually was getting foreshadowings of the "rewritten world", where Sakura would genuinely feel wrecked to know that someone important to Akiho was missing, precisely when Akiho would've become part of her family as her twin. In fact, in chapter 45, before falling completely asleep, she hears again the ominous "you won't be able to come back" (the Association's threat to Kaito), wondering WHO wouldn't be able to come back - somehow, Sakura knows that it's not directed at her.

"Just Tell me Honestly How You Feel"

And then, we reach another moment that I consider pivotal for Sakura's growth during this Clear Card Arc. The moment when she's on the verge of breaking down and finally lets all her feelings out.

Her anxiety over the dream with the Cloaked Figure reached the highest peak, so much that she finally manifests a Card, Mirage, that challenges her precisely with that appearance. While Sakura battles that Card (which at the moment she still believes it's an actual person), she seems resoluted to get to the bottom of this story, and to pull down that hood to know the truth. You can really feel that she's so done with all this psychological torture. The fact the real Syaoran appears right at that moment and she finds out the person she saw was just a Card is partly a relief for her, but also throws Sakura again in despair because who the hell is that person in the dream, then??

Syaoran, as the good and attentive boyfriend he is, can just feel that Sakura is stressing over something, so he brings her to his home to help her calming down. And to her umpteenth attempt at sweeping her negative emotions under the carpet, beating around the bush commenting over the tea with a fake smile, he cuts immediately her bullshit and just tells her : "You don't need to force yourself. Just tell me how you feel right now". When she hears that she's allowed to speak out her emotions with honesty, Sakura wears on her face one of the most heartbreaking expressions of the entire manga. She's literally about to break down in tears of exhaustion, as you can see it above. ☝️ Listening to her, gradually, Syaoran encourages Sakura to get out all that's been torturing her lately, particularly about the dream with the Cloaked Figure. It is a very difficult moment for her, because she has to relive the dream, and expose in front of him all the fears and doubts that were trying to tamper with her trust in him. Courageously, she goes through with it, even though her denial ("it's just a dream!") is so strong that she ends up creating another Card: "Dreaming". Sakura at first seems relieved to see the Card, in the hope that everything she saw was indeed a mere messed up dream and nothing else (see? she's again self-sabotaging her relationship with her magic) but Syaoran with his frankness is quick to bring her feet on the ground: the kanji on the Card show "yumemi", and the word can also indicate a "foretelling dream".

Although Sakura seems disheartened at first, her next dream with the Cloaked Figure is much more relaxed, so much that even the dragon doesn't particularly scare her anymore: our girl's intuition makes her correctly feel a sense of loneliness in this dream, which she attributes to the hooded figure, not realizing that it was more likely coming from the dragon itself (aka, Kaito). After all, in chapter 72, Lilie will confirm that her presence ended up distracting her from the one "character" she should've paid all of her attention to. Her intuition, despite being misattributed, ended up having a positive effect through the synchronization with Akiho: the girl will wake up with the same feeling of discomfort of her friend, and as if guided by hitsuzen, she will head to the garden where she'll find a sickly Kaito staring at the moon - most likely feeling the loneliness Sakura perceived in her dream. I like to think that in this scene of chapter 48, Sakura subconsciously helped Akiho comforting Kaito, by waking her up with the unresting feeling, precisely when Kaito needed it the most. Still not completely embraced her magical sixth sense yet, but a significant improvement.

The road between chapter 48 and chapter 52 is paved with lots of struggles, as the Mirror Sakura Card gets stolen by Kaito, Sakura runs the risk of being absorbed into Akiho's artifact again, she meets Momo for the first time and she's even given a hint about Kaito's plan (or what Momo thought was his plan, as he had benignly lied to her about that), but almost all of that gets rewound and erased when Kaito intervenes. Moreover, despite not remembering anything consciously, Sakura is left with a sense of unhappiness when she looks at her home, a remnant of her brief journey in the world of Momo's book which straight up threw her into despair, showing her what her life would be if everyone forgot about her. She also finds once again a Card produced out of nowhere, "Time": I'm convinced she produced this Card because her conscience was awake while Momo and Kaito talked in stopped time, and their conversation triggered her sixth sense to produce Time as a result. Needless to say, all of this worsens her state of mind once again, which leads to the other pivotal, and finally resolutive, scene of chapter 52.

Never Avert Your Eyes From Your Heart

We finally get to what I consider THE scene, the one that will definitively shake Sakura from her deadlock, from the anxiety that stunted her connection with her innate gift and her deepest emotions. And the one who helps her overcoming all her fears is, of course, the love of her life - with a honorable mention for none other than his mother Yelan!!

Chapter 52 got a very, very special place in my heart, because it's basically one giant parallel between SyaoSaku and YunaAki. The two pairings experience similar situations, but the response from one side of each pairing is quite different. Let's remind you for a moment of the part earlier in this post when I told you that Kaito and Sakura, for most of Clear Card, surprisingly have one thing in common: they don't seem to understand themselves well enough, and both have a tendency to look away from feelings that cause unrest to their hearts - anxiety for Sakura, love for Kaito.

Syaoran, always attentive and observant towards his girlfriend, notices immediately that Sakura is suffering, as soon as he sees her at school. Despite being unable to touch her to comfort her, he offers all of himself to support and listen to her concerns. Sakura is visibly and pleasantly surprised of how the boy could read behind her mask, that usual contrived smile with which she tries to dissimulate her emotions and not make him worry. A bad habit she's consolidated lately, but that Syaoran is gently determined to dismantle. After opening up with him (and this is where Sakura differs from Kaito - by having an established relationship made of love and trust with Syaoran, Sakura lowers her walls with him), she falls once again into the usual trap of "but maybe it's just my imagination" and I love to see how Syaoran is her anchor to the ground, making her see the concreteness of this situation: he straight up tells her "you produced a Card out of it, it cannot be 'just your imagination'. " And then, like a precious family gift, he passes on to her the priceless words of wisdom of his mother Yelan, an advice that not only Sakura, but also the other "lost soul" of the other paralleling pairing should listen to:

"People with magical power should never ignore the turmoil and stirring in their hearts, the so-called 'intuition'. And it’s not limited to people with magical powers. People should never avert their eyes from the changes in their heart."

This is a turning point for Sakura. These words seem to positively "break" something inside of her, showing her the correct path to follow. CLAMP beautifully portray this process of "embracing and assimilating" the words she's just heard, by making her place her hand over her heart. I love when they do that (they used the same visual when Akiho heard Kaito's true name, and 'wrote it' on the most important page of the book of her life). Sakura is truly grateful for the words Syaoran relayed to her, precisely what she needed to get out of her impasse with her feelings and magic. She knows she can always count on the support of her soulmate even in the darkest moments, and she's thankful for having him in her life.

From this moment onwards, Sakura will experience several instances where her magical premonitory senses give her signals through the "stirring" of her heart. Contrarily to before, she starts to actively take them seriously, listening, without dismissing them as the delirium of an anxious little girl. This allows her to activate the Siege Card in the fraction of a second, successfully shielding herself from Kaito's time magic, making her the first person ever who achieved that. This also leads her to effectively remember that she saw Kaito using magic, even when time was rewound by him, and contact immediately Syaoran to talk about it, planning how to move from that moment onwards. A little relapse on her bad habit is immediately dispelled by Syaoran, and our girl even goes as far as saying "there's something inside Akiho", even though she's not sure exactly why she's feeling that way. But it's an intuition she's having and she decides to not dismiss it anymore, with everyone trusting and supporting her in that direction. By listening more and better to what her heart tells her, Sakura also decides to not confront Akiho about Kaito and his magic, because she's well aware of the feelings Akiho got for Kaito and she doesn't want to potentially disrupt their relationship. So, she decides to wait for her friend to talk about it first.

Thanks to this better understanding of her own intuition, she also says in chapter 57 that she wants to meet the guardian of the book "Alice in Clockland" once more, despite not remembering if and when she's met her before. This also ultimately leads her to accept the role of Alice in the upcoming play scripted by her friend Naoko, because her sixth sense tells her that it's inevitable for her to do so. It's important to emphasize how the other characters support and encourage her to listen to her innate gift, at this point, without trampling over her self-determination like they did before.

It is a moment of big growth and character development for everyone.

The Ultimate Growth: Finding a Meaning and a Purpose

What happens afterwards is history: the fateful "Alice in Clockland" play unfolds, and Kaito completes his plan to push Sakura to create the Card he needs, exchanging his magic artifact (the watch) with Akiho's one (the book), in addition to activating the forbidden magic to rewrite the memories of everyone, to fit Akiho as part of Sakura's family.

Sakura's intuition will be crucial to wake her true self up while in Clockland, succeeding in beating Kaito's magic multiple times, till Syaoran comes in and gives the "final blow", cutting off the spell definitively.

And even when everything seems lost because Kaito successfully activated the fobidden magic, changing their memories and erasing himself from their existence, Sakura's magic and sixth sense keep making her say things she either already said or heard before in the "unrewritten world". Not only that, but even after meeting Lilie in a dream and forgetting her face (due to the strong influence of the forbidden spell), bit and pieces of that conversation keep coming back to her, and she listens dutifully to every single one of these "feelings". Kaito might have overridden part of their memories (only the ones concerning him, Akiho and the events connected to the creation of the Cards), but the experience, feelings and personal growth of each character were left untouched, that's why the chemistry between Sakura and Syaoran is the same as before the play started, but also Sakura's personal relationship with her magic is far better than before (an information that might have seemed random and unimportant is that now Sakura summons Mirror even just to chat, an indication of her completely changed perspective on her magic).

Now that Sakura finally embraced her magical power, all that's left for her is to find a true purpose for it.

A question echoes in my mind, "What am I creating these Cards for?". Sakura poses herself this question halfway through the story, and she finds the answer to it precisely at the end of the journey.

Her powerful magic intuition, combined with her immense empathy, leads her to realize that somebody is missing from their reality, and that person is the one Akiho loves. At this point Sakura is unstoppable: she wants to listen to the voice in her heart that's screaming "Go and help them!! Give the true happiness back to Akiho!", and everyone can only follow her lead as she assertively puts into practice what her heart is telling her to do.

Sakura in this final part of the story shines brighter than ever. She's more assertive and self-confident than ever. All of this is because there's something she strongly wants to do with her innate gift, as Eriol unequivocally says in chapter 75: her power grows exponentially again, but this time it's not out of her control - it is Sakura herself who's voluntarily boosting it, thanks to her strong wish. And that allows her to control it and use it exactly as she wants.

In chapter 79 her growth reaches the highest peak, by handling the resolution of Akiho and Kaito's personal problems in an admirable way (she steps aside for a moment to give Akiho all the agency she needed), but also finding herself in front of an uncomfortable dilemma, which leads her to an unavoidable reality: Sakura quickly understands that she cannot be on everyone's side and there are lines to be drawn at some point. She can't be a pure and oblivious girl forever. She needs to grow up. There are choices to be made, especially when dealing with real evil people.

And Sakura choses to go on with the people she loves, even if that means she has to "stain" her "moral record" a little bit.

Empowered by this strong wish to fix the situation, she literally gives life to a miracle, protecting her dear friend and her beloved from the grasp of their abusers, simultanously giving everyone their true memories back. The effort exerts her greatly, but what she achieved is by far the most important thing she's ever done with her magic power till now: she helped two dear people lost in a life-and-death situation. Her magical growth went along with her personal, mental one.

This is also the reason why the accusations of "the other magicians should've trained her" end up being in vain: Sakura's problem with her powers was mainly on a personal level, not on a technical one. This was a journey she had to mainly walk by herself, finding the right balance and confidence in her abilities, deep down in her heart.

No one could've done that for her.

Merely training the practical aspect of it would've just worsened the situation, because Sakura wouldn't have been truly "in it" with her heart and mind. She needed to go through this process of growth, before reaching this stage of self-awareness in relation to her magic powers. I truly feel this is the reason why CLAMP made certain choices inside this story. Again, as I always say, a good part of Cardcaptor Sakura does revolve around magic, but the main focus and linchpin of this story is and always will be the main character's heart, her growth and the interpersonal relationships with her loved ones.

This makes Clear Card Arc, in my opinion, a worthy sequel and a full-fledged part of the Cardcaptor Sakura series. I think those who decide to skip it or read it with a superficial approach miss a journey of tremendous growth for our beloved protagonist.

So much for those who kept saying "This is not Sakura's story".

How can all that ☝️ NOT be Sakura's story?

I'll let you judge. 😊

Extra: The Significance of the Clear Cards

I want to digress for a moment about a thorny topic: the significance of the Clear Cards in this story.

Sakura isn't always completely passive towards the events happening around her, but wonders several times during the story why all those Cards are manifesting like that. While the first and easiest answer is of course "because her powers are going out of control" (and this is something Momo herself questions Sakura about in chapter 50), it becomes apparent at some point that the more the story goes on, the more the Cards that are created by her are particularly relevant and connected to the events that will happen in the final part of the story.

I know this is a sore spot for many who complain about not understanding the purpose of the Clear cards. It's because people tend to compare this set of Cards with the ones Sakura captured previously. That's not the right way to look at them, because their origin and purpose are different and change throughout the story. Forget about the Sakura Cards, even though so many of these "Clear Cards" (which are never called so, not even once, in the story itself, but just "new cards" or "transparent cards") might look so similar in purpose to the previous ones.

First of all, the Clear Cards are an outlet for Sakura to vent in a healthy way her power in excess. Power that if kept inside, untapped and confined in her body, might have unpredictable harmful effects on her (<- probably the grief Yelan foresaw). God bless the Clear Cards for existing and allowing Sakura to vent out these bouts of uncontrolled power in a relatively safe way.

The Cards that Sakura produces in the beginning are sometimes reminiscing of the Sakura Cards, because her power manifests itself basing on Sakura's experiences, feelings, thoughts and wishes. The Sakura Cards are an important part of her life (before Syaoran took them, she literally acted like their "mom", keeping them alive with her power) so it's only normal that the first base for some of these new Cards would be a magic tool that she already knows. In this sense, it becomes easier to understand why many of the "captures" seem so easy, way too easy compared to what a reader would expect from a sequel: the goal of the capture here isn't to make her power and experience in capturing cards grow. She already had 2 arcs to do all of that. The capture of the Cards in this third arc becomes something new and unexpected: a "damage control" of a regrettable situation with Sakura's powers, while she learns to dominate them and enter into harmony with her supernatural abilities. The growth Sakura needs here is mainly a mental one. Performing her magical power aimlessly without having a true connection with it and a true understanding will only exacerbate the problem. This is the reason why, despite having a "capture" element, Clear Card derails from the previous arcs in the purpose of the capture. It's a pity that an element that should've brought freshness to the plot was in many cases received as an actual flaw.

In the beginning, as Sakura's power is completely out of her control, some Cards might look completely random too - they don't look based on Cards, thoughts or wishes (like Appear, Reflect, Action, etc.). But pay attention, because the more the story goes on, the more the Cards begin to become particularly specific to something that shook Sakura's heart in that moment, or referencing events/feelings that will become pivotal to the events Sakura will experience later. Especially regarding Kaito's plan. Many of the later Cards Sakura produces are a direct reflection of the feelings and wishes that Kaito infused in the activation of the forbidden magic, with the creation of "the story for Akiho", the one he wanted to absolutely have a happy ending for. Cards like Repair, Promise, Choice, Kindness, True and False, Synchronization, Rewind....many of them didn't even get to express their magical abilities in a "conventional way" (everyone expected to see Sakura literally activating them like she does with all the others), but it's just because at that point the Cards Sakura is producing are born following her premonitory intuition: thanks to the hints/speeches that those Cards give her in Clockland, Sakura little by little regains consciousness of her true self (it's a pity that many English readers will never realize all the times Sakura was about to "wake up" in Clockland, because the translation didn't respect the change in fonts of the JP text). Sakura wasn't supposed to "use" them in a conventional way (how do you "use" Kindness? You force people to be "kind"? 🤨 and what about Choice??), she was supposed to listen to them and let them guide her towards the truth. This is also the reason why all of these Cards bear the face of her loved ones. Think of them as tarots. Which is, incidentally, another use of the original Clow/Sakura Cards. I am basically sure of this interpretation because the kanji of some of those Cards I mentioned above are brought up during the climax: particularly when Akiho talks to Kaito in chapter 78, she uses two specific verbs, referring to Kindness (慈愛 - a kind of gentle and tender love) when she describes the love and support her family gives her in this rewritten world, and to Choice (選択) when she questions Kaito about his choice to disappear completely from her life. So to summarize, the last Cards Sakura produced "accidentally" weren't accidental at all, but were actually specifically produced by her power in reference to Kaito's plan, to help her finding the way out to a dire situation. This represents a very important indicator in the plot: at that stage of the story, Sakura started to listen more and more to her intuition and her sixth sense, finally quitting her bad habit of downplaying it ("maybe it's just me") but actually giving it credit and taking it seriously, trusting her instinct to lead her in the right direction. And this was, of course, all thanks to the speech Syaoran gave her back in chapter 52. It is also the case of the Rewind Card, which Sakura will ultimately understand the purpose of on her own, at the very end of the series. That's the moment where everything will become clear and make sense to her: "This Card, too...I created it precisely for this moment". The Clear Cards ultimately became the embodiment of her foretelling powers. Which then led to the birth of the first two consciously created Cards, Blank & Remind, which will become so important in the climax.

If we ever get a new arc in the next years, we'll certainly deal with a more mature Sakura, who's more in sync with her magical powers 🩷.

#card captor sakura #cardcaptor sakura #clear card arc #ccsakura #sakura card captor #clamp #sakura kinomoto #syaosaku #clear card trivia #I hope this post will make you look at Clear Card from another perspective #I'm sorry for the length but I really wanted to make a deep dive

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thelunarfairy · 8 months

Text

Predictions of the tragedy

Aidairo left this information in the air ~

Can't understand? let me help you

"Hey do you know if hanako kun seal come off, the entire world will fall in disrray..... * that was close-!!* *heart thumping*

This reminds me of this

and this

Hanako's seal + threat of Hanako being very dangerous and difficult to control + future of the school is being destroyed + Sakura wants everything to be destroyed and uses Hanako and Yashiro to do so + Hanako is sometimes represented as a "dinosaur" or a giant monster + Hanako's own repulsion towards himself + Hanako is seen with this dark shadow on his chest that sometimes spreads across his body = Will everything be destroyed by Hanako?

I add even more The fear that Hanako seems to feel for himself if he loses the seal. He's the first one I've seen that likes being sealed, for some reason.

The ghost boy can transform into a highly destructive and out of control monster that can destroy everything in sight unless someone restrains him.

So let's think a little, what if Tsukasa is removing all the Yorishiros so that the passages between the supernatural and the world of the living are freer, and this gives strength to this "God", the more seals removed, the stronger he becomes.

What if he is doing this to release the creature living in Hanako, so that he becomes stronger and can fulfill his wish, but this could lead to a problematic future.

Yashiro has a kind of purifying power, but we saw what happened when she did that to Tsukasa.

What if Yashiro is the one who has to stop Hanako? Considering that she will only die if she takes out all the yorishiros then…

If that God grants a wish to whoever takes out all the yorishiros, which are seals, it means that this is very related to him and his power, the seals can keep that "God" contained. Knowing that the creature lives inside Tsukasa, and that it probably also lives inside Hanako, would make him stronger and he would take control again.

If all the seals are removed, including Hanako's, does the creature take control and Yashiro dies from trying to contain and save Hanako in the process?

So he would kill the girl he loves, the same way he killed his beloved brother?

It's a little crazy, but it's still a possibility.

He tries to save the girl he loves but in the end it's his fault for her death? (my heart hurts just thinking about it ;~;)

But what does Sakura have to do with it? Could she be a Kannagi who wants revenge? Why does she want both supernaturals and humans to disappear from existence? And why would Tsukasa agree to this? Many questions…

It was a random thought I had when I saw the image of Hanako worrying about his seal. It could all be nonsense in my head. Maybe someday I'll organize these theories better

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