#also found that the other albums were quite consistent except the car

[steinwayandhissons]

arctic monkeys and every time the word ‘love’ is mentioned

whatever people say I am that’s what I’m not

tonight there’ll be some love, tonight there’ll be a ruckus yeah regardless of what’s gone before

~ view from the afternoon

oh there ain’t no love, no montagues or capulets

~ i bet you look good on the dancefloor

all that’s left is the proof that love’s not only blind but deaf… yeah I’d love to tell you all my problem

~ fake tales of san francisco

she makes a subtle proposition, I’m sorry love I’ll have to turn you down

~ when the sun goes down

lady, where has your love gone, i was looking but can’t find it anywhere, they always offer when there’s loads of love around but when you’re short of some it’s nowhere to be found

~ no buses

well how can you wake up with someone you don’t love and not feel slightly phased by it

~ leave before the lights come on

favourite worst nightmare

it’s wrong wrong wrong but we’ll do it anyway cause we love a bit of trouble

~ balaclava

and those dreams weren’t as daft as they seem, aren’t as daft as they seem my love

~ fluorescent adolescent

there’s room for the trouble and there’s lovers to be had

~ this house is a circus

it’d be a big mistake for you to wait and let me waste your time, really love it’s fine, I said really love it’s fine

~ the bad thing

old yellow bricks, love’s a risk… houdini love you don’t know what you’re running away from

~ old yellow bricks

another roll around and another push and shove, further away from the idea of love

~ da frame 2r

the more you keep on looking the more it’s hard to take, love we’re in stalemate… you’re slacking love where have you been

~ the bakery

am I too quick to assume that the love is no longer in bloom

~ too much to ask

humbug

i had a hole in the pocket of my favourite coat and my love dropped into the lining

~ i haven’t got my strange

suck it and see

i wanna feel your love brick by brick

~ brick by brick

do you still feel love is a laserquest or do you take it all more seriously… when I’m not being honest I pretend that you were just some lover

~ love is a laserquest

your love is like a studded leather headlock

~ suck it and see

jealousy in technicolour, fear by name, love by numbers… crushing up a bundle of love

~ that’s where you’re wrong

before she showed you how to shake love’s steady hand

~ the blonde o sonic shimmer trap

your love’s not what I need, so don’t give it to me

~ evil twin

am

it’s not like I’m falling in love I just want you to do me no good… the look of love, the rush of blood

~ no.1 party anthem

love buckles under the strain of those wild nights

~ mad sounds

I heard that you fell in love, or near enough

~ snap out of it

love like locked horns, love like dominoes… love like thunder, love like falling snow

~ electricity

I know you’re nothing like mine cause she’s walking on sunshine and your love would tear us apart

~ you’re so dark

tranquility base hotel and casino

love came in a bottle with a twist off cap, let’s all have a swig and do a hot lap… but it’s alright, cause you love me

~ star treatment

when true love takes a grip it leaves you without a choice

~ golden trunks

pattern language in the mood for love

~ the world’s first ever monster truck front flip

I wanna stay with you my love, the way some science fiction does

~ science fiction

the dawn won’t stop weighing a tonne, I’ve done some things that I shouldn’t have done, but I haven’t stopped loving you once

~ the ultracheese

the car

lights out on the wonder park, your saw toothed lover boy was quick off the mark

~ jet skis on the moat

put your heavy metal to the test, there might be half a love song in it all for you

~ mr schwartz

#arctic monkeys #alex turner #listen this was purely out of curiosity #there are so many poetic and imaginative ways in which alex describes love #i just wanted a tangible record of every time he just straight up uses the word #i was surprised that humbug only had one mention and even that was a b side but when i was making this i realised that it was such a #lyrically dense and innovative album and descriptions of love were more elaborate and straightforward #*less straightforward #(might make a separate post about that) #also found that the other albums were quite consistent except the car #i found it interesting that most of the songs aren’t actually about the same kind of love like the earlier albums were #the earlier ones use love as a nickname and portray the physical embodiment of being in love #and even in tbhc it describes this feeling despite there being slightly fewer mentions #but the car seems more like a goodbye album… not even about breaking up… just goodbye which is very…. #there’s no room for love in amongst the melancholia and introspection #and makes me wonder about his relationship with love at the moment #it seems very disassociated and immaterial like he has no interest in spouting poetics about love like he did before #and i hope he can rebuild that relationship #i could probably say more but im not going to bc this is getting way too long #cheers if you actually read this whole fucking essay #i spent way too long on this if you cant tell

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2020

You know, when I finished my latest list and realised every decade had the same pattern and that we were slowly going towards a series of great years for pop, I didn’t realise how good that year would be.

What’s at the top? Am I boringly predictable because I already said I loved that song all the way back in January 2020? Let’s find out.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will probably be stuff in French somewhere on this post. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

So. Uh. How was your 2020?

Mine was actually surprisingly good, considering. I’m lucky enough to have a job that I can partially do from home, and I was extremely paranoid from the get-go and nobody got sick under this roof so far. Turns out I’m even better at my job from home and I got permission to work from home one day per week even after the health crisis is over! My first name was also finally officially approved and I can’t tell you how happy I feel about that. I almost feel bad to have had such a good year considering the circumstances. I feel like an asshole just because I’m happy, haha.

The only frustrating part was that I was supposed to see Hatari in concert in Paris in early April which, as you can guess, was cancelled. I’m not too mad about it though, since their tour was called “Europe will crumble” and the message saying the tour was cancelled started with “since Europe is actually crumbling due to Covid-19″ and that’s hysterical.

Good or interesting albums that came out in 2020 now, let’s see.

Nightwish released Human/Nature, which was a huge letdown compared to their previous album, but I will relisten to it at some point to make sure I wasn’t just in a bad mood that day.

The Birthday Massacre released Diamonds, which might be their weakest album since their debut, but contained some real gems (I listened to The Last Goodbye on a loop, it floored me. Flashback and Enter are also very good).

The 1975 released Notes On A Conditional Form, and let’s be real, it’s a f█cking mess. You could cut half the tracks and end up with an excellent album, but as it is it’s like, yes, a collection of notes ; however there’s some truely excellent shit on it (see unelligible songs).

Thanks to a friend on a discord server I was exposed to Dorian Electra’s music and I haven’t been quite the same ever since. I’m so happy to be alive to see other enbies making such great music with an insanely good aesthetic surrounding it and asking so many interesting questions about gender. Also the arc the ‘gentleman’ character goes through over the course of the entire tracklist of the 2020 My Agenda album is absolutely hilarious, don’t @ me.

I also discovered 100 Gecs this year. Why are most of you guys saying it’s unlistenable garbage. It’s just as abrasive and over the top as industrial music is, but with none of the edginess or drama. I love it. What the hell. But yeah Tree of Clues was released this year. Good.

Speaking of industrial, in March 2020 Nine Inch Nails were like “hey remember when we released Ghosts I-IV a decade ago entirely for free and how amazing that was? Well we’re all in lockdown and bored as hell so here’s Ghosts V-VI and it’s also free. Enjoy” and I f█cking died instantly. And it’s even better than I-IV. What the hell was that year

Jonsi released Shiver. It’s strange and highly experimental. I’m pretty sure it’s a good thing I was into hyperpop this year, otherwise going from his previous material straight to this album would have been brutal.

Yadda yadda yadda After Hours by the Weeknd good yadda yadda.

I’ve joked about that already but if you had told me in 2019 that 2020 would have fires, a pandemic, riots, monoliths appearing and disappearing, and also a super good Machine Gun Kelly album, guess which part I would have found the most ridiculous. But yeah uh. Tickets to my Downfall good

So uh this year I tried to listen to some hyperpop and liked it a lot, and I also dipped my toes timidly into screamo and listened to Svalbard, who released When I Die this year, and the entire album was a very beautiful, very intricately decorated punch to the face. It sounds like God Is An Astronaut except with a shit ton of yelling. I love it. Open Wound is my favorite track on it.

But no, despite all of this, my album of the year was from a band I had never even heard about before that year, called Spanish Love Songs. The album is titled Brave Faces Everyone and it’s line after line after line of extremely relatable generational angst but yelled with complete sincerity and it’s so propulsive and energetic you can’t help but feel both exhausted and ready to fight the entire universe. I don’t know how it works, but it’s incredible. The entire album is wonderfully brutal, so it’s kind of difficult to pick my favorite songs on it, but Beachfront Property and the title track stand out.

Unelligible songs, now, and there’s, uh, quite a few of them too so I’m also gonna use bullet points. Good lord this post is gonna be long.

First, let me say I have literally no idea why Midnight Sky by Miley Cyrus wasn’t a bigger hit. It’s not on the year-end US top 100 and it feels extremely wrong. Would have made it to #4 on this list otherwise.

I still entertain the vague hope that stuff from Machine Gun Kelly will chart higher in 2021 but I doubt it will happen so I might as well tackle it now and say that Bloody Valentine and especially Forget Me Too are both excellent and that it’s a shame radios aren’t playing them more often.

Heaven by the late Avicii featuring Coldplay should have charted in 2019 and still didn’t chart in 2020 and that’s a real shame.

If the world was a bit less unfair, Lovesick Girls by Blackpink would have been a hit rather than the awful Ice Cream.

One day I will stop complaining about my bafflement concerning the lack of mainstream pop charts success of The 1975. Today is not that day. I just love how they keep making songs about extremely awkward relationships full of weird details, and I haven’t grown tired of that yet. So yeah If You’re Too Shy is about a guy who’s crush is asking him to get naked on Skype in his hotel room and he’s, uh, not too sure about that idea.

And Me & You Together is about a guy who never finds the right moment to tell his best friend he’s in love with her, and he manages to do so at the end and it’s cute as hell. My fave part is “I'm sorry that I'm kinda queer / It's not as weird as it appears / It's 'cause my body doesn't stop me (Stop me) / Oh, it's okay, lots of people think I'm gay / But we're friends, so it's cool, why would it not be?”. Relatable as f█ck.

And now for an international hit that should have been bigger in the US and/or in my country but wasn’t: Head & Heart by Joel Corry and MNEK.

I’ve heard Nos Célébrations by Indochine extremely often on French radio for months now so I was very surprised to see that it didn’t crack the local year-end list. What happened.

I can finally hear the appeal of Bring Me The Horizon. It took me ages. And also Death Stranding. The song Ludens isn’t in the game per say, but it’s among the ones you can pick to broadcast briefly when people drive by your constructions, and long story short it's been living rent-free in my head for months now.

Phew.

It’s time for a round of Honorable Mentions for elligible songs, containing a couple of guilty pleasures, which is saying something considering the kind of shit I put on some of my previous lists.

Ne Reviens Pas (Gradur et Heuss l’Enfoiré) - Heuss is a French artist that kept baffling me while making my lists for the previous years, and I was like “??? ok, that’s it then, I guess I’m getting too old to get what teenagers find funny”. This one worked for me, though. And the music video doesn’t hurt. Really dumb and really fun.

Adore You (Harry Styles) - Perfectly good little pop song, very pleasant to listen to, never outstayed its welcome for me.

Mood (24kGoldn) - This doesn’t sound like a very good relationship, my dude, but that’s still a super pleasant song.

WAP (Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion) - This song is absolutely hilarious and I will hear no argument from any of you.

Control (Zoe Wees) - Was clearly a hit here. Should have been even bigger though. What a powerful but comfy voice. If I had better taste it would be on the list.

Hot Girl Bummer (Blackbear) - I. Uh. Listen. I keep saying I have bad taste and nobody believes me. Do you believe me now. But yeah. “F█ck you, and you, and you~, I hate your friends and they hate me too” is gonna pop in my head every single time someone is being a jerk anywhere near me now. It’s been happening all year already. Someone trashed my documents at work? Someone isn’t wearing a mask in public? That guy has filled his car with rolls of toilet paper? Brain goes “F█ck you, and you, and you~”. Every. Single. Time.

Come & Go (Juice WRLD & Marshmello ) - Damn, that’s a pretty good little song. I’ve seen plenty of people saying it’s ruined by the drop, but may I remind you I’m the person who loves Blue by Eiffel 65 with all my heart. If the song was ramping up consistently until the end instead of ending like that, it would have made the list, definitely.

And now, the actual list. This one actually feels pretty solid, I genuinely like everything on it, there’s no filler here for once.

10 - The Box (Roddy Rich)

US: #3 / FR: #23

Now this is a weird case, because for the longest time I couldn’t figure out why this song was so popular and I was completely neutral about it. Then, one morning in September, my mental jukebox (which always, always puts a song on a loop in my head when I wake up) decided to play it. And I was like oh wow?? I never noticed the atmosphere in that song before? It’s so great. And that hook too. Let’s listen to it.

So yeah, I don’t know what happened. It just clicked one day and everything fell into place, I guess.

9 - Alane (Wes & Robin Shulz)

US: Not on the list / FR: #93

Come on. You can’t do a remake of one of my previous #1 songs and let it chart in 2020. That’s cheating. Even with this subpar drop, I have to put it on the list, now.

I’ve already said my piece about the original, so I’m just going to send you back to my 1997 list.

8 - Kings and Queens (Ava Max)

US: Not on the list / FR: #76

[BBC documentary voice] After Lady Gaga decided to make piano balads and left her musical niche vacant, Ava Max quickly took her place as the top predator pop diva. Even after Lady Gaga was re-introduced to her natural habitat in 2020, she still hasn’t fully recovered in Europe, where Ava Max still reigns supreme on the charts -

(tldr I think it’s hilarious that this isn’t on the US Billboard while Lady Gaga isn’t on the French year-end top 100)

7 - Roses (Saint Jhn & Imanbek)

US: #19 / FR: #3

What an earworm. It doesn’t even bother trying to have an intro or an outro, so it loops almost perfectly. It’s like entering a party that started long before you arrived, and it will go on long after you leave it to go back home. Kind of hypnotic in a way.

And yes, my mental jukebox was very fond of using it to wake me up this year, so this is another song that’s here almost solely because of that.

6 - Physical (Dua Lipa)

US: Not on the list / FR: #69 (hehehe)

“Hey I’m not that old” says the guy who’s definitely a sucker for this kind of retro throwback that was so popular this year. Oh well.

I don’t have anything interesting to say about this one, though. Apart from the fact that everyone seems to have a different fave song on that album. Guess that’s quality for you.

5 - Rain on Me (Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande)

US: #48 / FR: Not on the list

That is far from being Lady Gaga’s best song, but it was a joy to listen to everytime it was on the radio anyway. Also Ariana Grande has surprisingly good chemistry with Gaga! This year was full of strange duets mostly made for commercial reasons, and this one isn’t an exception, but unlike a lot of them, it really, really works.

4 - Dynamite (BTS)

US: #38 / FR: Not on the list

I’m still not 100% sold on k-pop even if a ton of it sounds super good, but come on. Even if some bits of this song (especially the beginning of the second chorus) sound a bit like they were made on autopilot, it still sounds just as happy and fun several months after I first heard it and I never got tired of it. That’s quality. You hear it and you can’t help but tap your feet and smile.

Actually, I’m sure there’s people somewhere that don’t smile when they hear this song. And they must be avoided at all costs.

3 - Godzilla (Eminem ft Juice WRLD)

US: #62 / FR: Not on the list

What are you doing so high on this list, old man. Why are you still here in the year 2020. I thought we left you in the previous decade. Who gave you the right.

I’m gonna tell you who did, and it’s actually Juice WRLD. Because that chorus is incredible, and like a lot of people I’m pissed off because the guy died super young and this shit shouldn’t happen to anybody. No, his early material wasn’t great, but I’m sorry I’m gonna say it again: have you heard this damn chorus? It’s suspenseful and dark, it’s got this lowkey menacing quality, it’s an earworm and a half, and it’s more convincing in like six lines than Eminem’s own flexing is in the entire song.

The beat is extremely good as well, and the flow, obviously, impressive. The weakest link is Eminem’s writing, which is as usual full of puns and weird wordplay, except here a lot of it isn’t great, and that last ultra fast part at the end is technically impressive but it also drives the song up a cliff and stops it dead in its tracks once it’s over. But frankly the lines fly by so fast it’s difficult to be too annoyed by them.

Can I sincerely put this extremely flawed song so high on my list? A better question would be “did I spend hours trying to learn how to sing this shit without choking on my own spit?”. The answer is yes. To both.

2 - Heartless (The Weeknd)

US: #28 / FR: Not on the list

I’ve said it on my 2015 and 2016 lists already, but just for the record I’ll say it again: it took me ages to like The Weeknd, mostly because I found most of his songs fairly boring, or disliked the lyrics, or both. Also I never really liked the general vibe of his “sexy” songs like The Hills, they felt dark but in an unpleasant creepy way. Felt like miserable hedonism, if that makes sense.

So, because I’m a person with extremely consistent and logical tastes, here’s the exact same shit he was making before, except that this time I absolutely adore it.

What is he doing differently that makes the whole After Hours album click for me whereas almost all of his previous material failed to do so? Is it the energy? Is it the reverb? Is it the fact that the narrator sounds properly unhinged and, frankly, scared to be spiralling out of control? Why are the colors so beautiful yet full of anxiety? Why is that bridge so fantastic? How can you make your voice look like a glowstick in the dark?

I give up. I have no clue. At least I’m done talking about-

Oh.

1 - Blinding Lights (The Weeknd)

US: #1 / FR: #1 (listen sometimes something’s just that good, ok)

Surprise. Or not.

Wow, look at that, Johannes has put this year’s number one pop song at number one on their personal playlist. The audacity. The edge. What a hot take.

I discovered that song when it first came out at the end of 2019 and I adored it instantly. And I was so scared it wouldn’t be a hit. Which means I’m a f█cking dumbass considering it ended up breaking all sorts of records in 2020. But what can I say, overplay can be a blessing when you love a song that much.

Like every single song I put at number one on one of my lists, I will draw this one at some point and you will understand how incredibly satisfying it is to listen to a song called Blinding Lights, talking about city lights looking blurry when you’re driving at night, while looking itself like a bunch of blurry city lights passing by super fast. Perfect in every way.

Also it sounds exactly like A-ha, and that never hurts.

See you next year! Pretty sure it will be even better music-wise.

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #eye contact tw

[mcrvellouslystcrk]

Recognition

Pairing: Paul McCartney x Reader

Words: 1732

Warning: Just some swear words 

Author’s Note: This was supposed to be pure fluffy fluff but it turned out somehow different. It’s still pretty fluffy oh well. Enjoy while I work on request!

It was very early in the morning and the sun was not quite up yet, but you were feeling great. Being the only girl in a guy music group could be tricky, especially considering the conservative aspect of the mid 60s society, but you managed to pull it off like the boss you were. About a week ago, the band had been invited to a television set to promote your new album, and you totally showed off your guitar skills in a delicate solo. Everyone seemed to be in awe, and the interviewer, as well as the rest of the sceptics, stopped wondering what you were doing in the Beatles.

 Anyway, you were feeling much less tense than the other days when you began driving to the studio that morning, Paul by your side. You were living close to his Cavendish Avenue house in St John’s Wood, and you were going to the studio together most of the times. You put your feet up next to the wheel and leaned on the passenger seat, observing the quiet neighbourhood slowly waking up.

 Paul sneaked a glance at you and caught your dreamy smile against the half opened window. It immediately soothed him, and he felt quite amazed at how much he could be affected by you. He never attempted a move, though, sensing you certainly just saw him as a very good friend, even some kind of brother, and nothing more. It hurt him, but it was way easier to control his feelings as you were not seeing anybody and generally did not talk about possible love interests.

 You turned to face him, eyes still sort of sleepy, and stretched a hand to shuffle his soft hair. He sent you an amused look and tried to tidy it up again, eyes on the road. That is what you loved the most about Paul; he accepted your little outburst of affection and other quirks without feeling the need to say something. You both could spend hours not talking, just enjoying each other’s company while strumming some tunes on your instruments or sipping tea in front of the television.

 You mirrored his expression and took a box of homemade cookies out of your tote bag. He tried to take one but you gently slapped his hand away.

 “They’re for George!”

 His pouty lips formed an offended ‘o’.

 “Firstly, that’s unfair, and second, why are you eating them?”

 “Because I made them! I’m entitled to. And I’m sorta hungry.”

 Paul sent you a pleading look, making you chuckle. Sighing, you put a cookie in his hand as you were arriving to the studio. You could not resist that boy anything.

 “Thanks, love.”

 Your heart fluttered at the nickname.

 “Yeah, whatever.”

 Getting out of the car, you pulled your guitar out of the backseat and moved towards the entrance of the studio before getting stopped by a young man in his twenties, closely followed by a pair of giggling teenage girls.

 “Hello,” he started with a hesitant smile.

 You upped an eyebrow. He was different from the other fans you had to face; he seemed ready to back off if he saw you were not in the mood. And he was also quite pretty for a man. A bit like Paul…man, I do have a type.

 “Hi. Can I do something for you?”

 “Yes, I’m awfully sorry for the inconvenience, but my sisters over there are too shy to ask for an autograph so here I am…”

 “Oh, sure, sure.”

 Placing the guitar case down for a moment, you took the pen he was handing you and signed the album covers next to your face. Paul had been following the exchange from behind the car, and decided to move around it to join you after seeing the smile you gave the man. The two girls murmured something in their brother’s ear, and he turned to Paul.

 “Excuse me, could you also sign?” he wondered with a smile.

 Paul took the albums coldly and started signing mechanically as the girls were watching him in awe. He sent them a wink but stayed focused on the small talk you were having with the guy.

 “So I caught you on that show the other day… You were exceptional.”

 “Really, you thought so?” you asked, picking up the guitar again, smiling consistently.

 “Yes! It was amazing.”

 “Yeah, well, she is, but now we’ve got to go, we have a lot of work today,” Paul intervened, catching your elbow.

 He nodded at the man and his sisters, starting pulling you away. You frowned but smiled at them once more and shook the man’s hand before entering the building.

 “Paul! What the hell?”

 He shrugged, eyes in front of him as you both made your way to the recording room.

 “He was flirting with you, and I’m pretty sure he couldn’t care less about your talent. He kept ogling your dress! Which is way too short for a work day, by the way!”

 You scoffed, rather hurt.

 “You didn’t seem to mind it during the drive,” you exclaimed, pissed off. “I saw you checking out my legs!”

 “Well, I’m just a friend, right? So it doesn’t matter. And I’m not trying to use you for sex or to get famous or anything, because I already am!”

 He stopped right before opening the door and you collided. Turning him around, you pointed an accusing finger at him as the other three appeared, drawn to the scene because of the all the screaming. Yes, there were mostly cosy silences or lively conversations between you and Paul, but there sometimes were screaming and disagreements as well.

 “Oi, what’s going on with you lovebirds?” John exclaimed.

 He had started calling you that after he had found you two passed out on one of the studio’s couches after a long, tiring day, your head on his shoulder and his arms around your waist. You both had woken up like a blushing mess and denied any feelings involved, but it didn’t fool John and the nickname stuck.

 “Shut up, Lennon. What did you just say?” You asked menacingly to Paul, eyes narrowed.

 He crossed his arms, rolling his eyes.

 “I’m just saying you should be careful, Y/N. People are not always kind for no reason.”

 “So, you believe people only see me as a piece of meat? I don’t think so, McCartney, because I am talented, very talented, and people are aware of it. And if they also like what they see on top of what they hear, then I don’t see how it is your business!”

 “Y/N, you’ve got to accept the possibility that they just want to use you!”

 You blinked several times.

 “Well, I can return the suggestion to you, considering all the brainless things that jump you wherever we go!”

 You pushed him out of your way and stepped in the recording you. Giving a small nod to Brian, George Martin and the technicians (who had probably heard everything), you sat on your chair and started tuning your guitar. A pair of feet appeared in front of you and you were about to tell them to fuck off when you realized it was George. Trying to calm yourself, you smiled at him. It wasn’t his fault your morning had turned out to be bad after all.

 “Geo, I made you those cookies you like, you know, with the dark chocolate bits. They’re in my bag.”

 His toothy grin made his cheekbones look sharper as he took a seat next to you.

 “Thanks, Y/N. I’ll get you those scones more often then.”

 “That’s my boy! You know I live for these kinds of exchanges.”

 “Naturally. So… What happened?”

 “Nothing, he was just being an arse. I don’t wanna talk about it.”

 “Y/N, Paul may be one of the persons who admire you the most. I know that because he always asks and listens to your advice on a song. He has learnt a lot from you just as you have from him, and he cherishes the fact that you are part of the band. I’m pretty sure he considers you as some kind of gem – which you are, to be honest – that could realise she’s far too better for us and leave.”

 “But it’s not some random fan who’s going to take me away, like…”

 “Yeah, well, that’s because he doesn’t only love you, like we all do. He’s in love with you.”

 “What?”

 John, Ringo and Paul turned their heads to you, hearing your shocked tone. You locked eyes with the latter. He still looked annoyed with you but there was something else there. Something more intense.

 “I’m only telling you because I know you’re in love with him too.”

 For once, you did not even bother to deny it; it was high time to act on your feelings. Tapping George’s shoulder as a thank you, you got up and practically ran to Paul.

 “What the fuck, McCartney!”

 He got up as well, confused and frustrated.

 “What? What do you want now?”

 “Why didn’t tell me it was just a jealousy crisis and attacked my music skills instead?”

 “Who said I was jealous? And why would I be? I – George, you’re going to pay for this – don’t-”

 You waved his babbles away and pulled him from his collar, your lips crashing against his. He stopped trying to justify himself and pulled you closer, his hands on the sides of your face. You heard John whistle in the background but you could not find the energy to flip him off with what Paul was doing to you. You also heard a snapshot, probably Ringo’s camera, but you did not mind.

 The kiss lasted until you both were out of breath. Breaking it off, you panted slightly, palms resting against his chest. The air between you was electrifying, and you looked up to plunge in his hazel doe eyes. He let his hands slide to your waist and held you in a soft but firm embrace. Nobody around you seemed to want to break the silence that had settled.

 You felt a gentle smile coming to your lips once again and he mirrored it. You both let go of each other at the same time, sharing a knowingly loving look before getting your instruments. The ambient sounds resumed as suddenly as they had stopped and you grabbed your guitar pick.

 “Well, shall we start?”

#paul mccartney #paul mccharmly #paul mccartney imagine #paul mccartney x reader #the beatles #the beatles x reader #the beatles imagine #beatles imagine #beatles #beatles x reader

[purplesurveys]

990

survey by starsareonly2nd

Have you ever been to Las Vegas? No. Doesn’t sound like my type of city. I wouldn’t mind visiting the rest of Nevada though.

What did you have for breakfast this morning? Just a cup of coffee; I skip breakfast except on Sundays, when we actually sit down at the dining table and eat as a family.

Do you have any loose change in your pocket? I don’t have any pockets right now but I do have very few coins in my wallet. I used to have plenty, but I’ve given most of them away because I usually give tips to the nice people who help me get out of parking spots.

Do you like Taylor Swift? I like some of her songs, especially the ones from 1989, but I have no idea why I just can’t get into her as a person.

What's your favorite Disney Channel movie? I haven’t tuned in to that channel for a very long time now, but the movies that I got the most excited about as a kid were Twitches, Wendy Wu, Camp Rock, The Cheetah Girls, and High School Musical 1 and 2.

If you met your favorite celebrity, would you be calm or star struck? I’d be starstruck in a calm way; like I’d most likely be too shocked to get more than a few words out. I’m sure I’d come off as shy or boring haha, which is why I’ve refused to meet or interact with my favorite celebrities even if I’ve already had the chance to.

Are there any lights on in the room you're in? I have a ceiling light and a desk lamp, but both are turned off. My only light source at the moment is my laptop screen.

What's your favorite subject in school? History.

What's your favorite holiday? My birthday, if that counts. Christmas can also be great but only for the food, the reunions with extended family, and the freedom to guiltlessly cut off contact with colleagues for a couple of weeks. All other aspects of it make me miserable though.

Do you ever have to do yard work? I’ve never had to do that before.

Is your school close to your house? I mean, it wasn’t a 10-minute walk away but it’s relatively close and driving to my university objectively doesn’t take too long unless there’s heavy traffic. If there’s absolutely no barriers I could get to school in 15-20 minutes, but this is really only just for weekends where I have to go to school for some reason. If there’s traffic (and there always is), I take anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half.

Speaking of school, how did you get there today? I haven’t been to my school since the first week of March, and I’ve already graduated since then.

Do you think Bad Romance is a catchy song, or an annoying one? I can honestly tell you that I have genuinely never gotten sick of that song. It’s a late 2000s classic, man. Of course it was too explicit for my 11 year old ears when it first came out, but I found it catchy nonetheless.

Do you use perfect grammar online? I always try to be correct, yes. When I use improper grammar it’s usually because I’m joking.

Are you currently using a laptop? Yup.

Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? I haven’t used iTunes in a while and Spotify, which I do use, doesn’t work that way.

Did/do you listen to Britney Spears songs? I’ve never skipped her singles whenever I caught them on the radio and I’ve always fairly enjoyed the music she puts out, but I normally don’t voluntarily listen to her i.e. look up her songs myself on Spotify.

Is it a windy day? It is now that it’s nighttime, but it was a little humid all day today.

In the past week, have you ridden in a taxi? No. I’m not actually sure if that’s even already allowed...the possibility of public transport is still pretty murky where I live.

What shorthand do you use the most? I have no idea what this means. I did try looking it up but I dunno if I’ve ever had to use shorthand at any point in my life.

Do you ever wish on stars at night? Every now and then, but it’s just the little kid in me.

What color are your eyes? Dark brown. I feel like I answer this at least once a week.

What album is the current song you're listening to off of? Not listening to music but the last song I heard is from an album called Petals For Armor.

What are you doing after you finish this? Try not to cry/break down. Find something to watch on YouTube. Maybe play with Cooper to destress and forget about my problems for a bit.

In your opinion, what song is the most overplayed right now? Other than songs I occasionally put on repeat, I have not heard any new music for a while now.

Are you in a band? Nope, never been.

How clean is your bedroom? We just tidied it up and rearranged a few things last month so I’d say it’s clean - at least tidier than it used to be. And I’m a little proud that despite how rough life has been, I’ve managed to keep it clean. It’s the little things.

Is there a pen within reaching distance of you? Yeah, there’s one on my desk and I can easily reach out and grab it.

Are you sitting at a desk? I’ve moved to my bed for now. My back does not appreciate sitting at a desk all day.

Does your favorite band have a male or female lead singer? Female.

Do you normally shut your bedroom door before you go to sleep? Yesssssssss. We have a light source by the stairs that extends to the hallway and reaches my room, so it gets super annoying if my door is even just slightly ajar because my eyes get distracted by the faint light. My door has to be completely shut for me to feel comfortable in the privacy of my room.

Have you seen the movie Moulin Rouge? I haven’t. I loooove Lady Marmalade, but I’m just not sure if the movie itself is my cup of tea.

Would you ever dye your hair a different color? I’d love to have the chance to do that, yeah.

Are there any framed pictures in the room you're in? There are a couple.

Have you ever been to a Broadway show? Nope.

Do you watch So You Think You Can Dance? I don’t think so but I do remember watching a few episodes of Dancing with the Stars because a wrestler that I liked was one of the contestants for one season. I’m just not sure of SYTYCD also featured wrestlers in their shows; if that has been the case in the past- and I’m just not sure because my memory is a little hazy - I would’ve given it a watch.

What's your favorite movie soundtrack? The Twilight Saga churned out some bomb ass soundtracks. Other than that, I also enjoyed Interstellar’s and Requiem for a Dream’s.

Do you prefer group or individual work? Depends on what kind of work needs to be done. If a task is graphic design or video editing-heavy, I would prefer to work with other people; but if it’s gonna be heavy on something that’s already my forte, I like to work by myself.

Do you have a key to anything besides your house? Just my car.

Are you wearing anything with stripes? Not at the moment.

What time did you go to sleep last night? 9:45 I think? A little later than 10? Somewhere along that range.

Did anyone tell you you were beautiful today? No.

What show did you last watch? Friends.

Do you think you'll do anymore surveys today? I doubt it. This one is already quite longer than the surveys I usually take.

What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Cookies and cream; and more recently, chocolate chip cookie dough.

When was the last time you stayed home from school sick? Sometime in February last year. I developed a fever the night before but wasn’t able to start feeling better by the next morning, so I had to skip the one class I had that day.

Could you ever complete a 500-piece puzzle? Yes. I’m actually planning to buy a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle; it’s one of the items I’ve put on my cart recently. Depressed Robyn is also spend-a-lot-of-money-on-artsy-craftsy-supplies-Robyn, so.

If you could run a red light and not get caught, would you? Hell no.

Do you like to listen to music as you do your homework? Not usually, but sometimes I’ll put on lo-fi since that’s the only kind of music I can listen to and still keep my focus.

Did you think Adam Lambert's AMA performance was really that controversial? I’ve never encountered it, but I doubt I’ll have a problem with it if I do get to watch the performance. I love Adam Lambert and I've never found myself shaking my head at whatever he’s doing.

Do any bands flat-out annoy you? They’re a boy band more than anything but The Vamps has consistently irritated me through the years.

Do you have a mirror in your bedroom? No. I used to, but I gave it to my sister.

Was today a birthday for any of your friends? I don’t think so. With all my social media being deactivated I never get notified about birthdays anymore, but I’m fairly sure none of my friends blow out their candles every October 22nd.

When was the last time you rode in a limo? I’ve never been in one.

Do you take naps daily? No. I can’t really do that anymore since I have an 8-hour shift on weekdays, lol.

Do you still make Christmas lists? No.

Do you watch the show Dexter? I tried getting into the show because it used to always be said in the same breath as Breaking Bad, but I never got invested. I heard later seasons sucked too, so that also turned me off from continuing to pursue the series.

What's the background on your phone? I have a motivational comic that says “You’re doing really well given the circumstances” as my lockscreen. Cooper smiling is my home screen.

When were/will you be a a sophomore in high school? That was six years ago.

Are you scared of any animals? Any flying insect or bug, and I find them scarier if they come with a loud buzz.

Have you ever been to any sort of convention? YouTube Fanfest, if that counts as one. I’m not really sure what counts as a convention haha, but that’s the closest thing I’ve got.

Which song did you last listen to on repeat? Why We Ever by Hayley Williams.

Where do you want to live when you grow up? I’ve stopped thinking about that for now. My focus has since shifted to asking myself if I’ll still even be alive in a few years...ugh, how far we’ve fallen.

Are you currently using a blanket? No. It’s not cold enough for a blanket yet, but maybe in a few hours.

Are there any songs that make you cry? A lot.

How many siblings do you have? Two.

What are you doing this weekend? I have no idea.

Do you prefer swimming at the beach or in a pool? BEEEEEEEEACH. Once I took my first dip in a beach, I never wanted to swim in a pool ever again.

When was the last time you had a haircut? March.

Which musical instrument do you think sounds the prettiest? Piano, saxophone, and violin. Can’t pick a favorite; I think they all sound beautiful.

Are you in band or chorus at your school? I was never in either.

Do you know what you want for Christmas? Yeah but they’re all intangible. I want to be happy, be at peace, normalcy, etc. I’ve stopped pining for presents, especially now that I can afford my own shit.

Do you watch fireworks on New Year's Eve? Always.

Is your birthday within the next three months? Nope. You’ll have to add three more months to that timeframe.

How long is the song you're listening to? No music.

Are you anticipating anything this week? I’m waiting for a couple of very specific emails to come in, and I hope they do before the week ends.

Is your mom or dad the older parent? My dad, but only by 8 months. They were born in the same year.

Have you taken the SATs yet? I never had to take them, but I heard they’re triiiiiiiicky.

Do you watch anything on E? We never had E! in our cable service but I like tuning into that channel whenever we stay at hotels because I get to watch KUWTK, hehe.

Are you going to get off the computer now that you've finished this? Most likely.

#survey #surveys

[kpoptimeout]

Top 20 Most Underrated K-Pop Songs of the Decade (2010-2019) PART 1

The 2010s has come and gone before we knew it.  

Continuing with the K-Pop Timeout Tradition (see 2018 Ver) of listing the Top 10 Most Underrated K-Pop Songs because all the other sites are just bothered with the Top 10 that pretty much everyone will have heard of/have fan wars over, below we have created a list of the Top 20 Most Underrated K-Pop Songs of the Decade because 10 spots is not enough to cover the amount of talent slept on.

For these reasons, we will list 10 of them here in PART 1 and an additional 10 in PART 2. This is in alphabetic order NOT in the order of awesomeness because all of them are awesome. Also, all MVs are linked in the song titles because Tumblr won’t let me share that many videos in one post.

100% “U Beauty” (2014)

TOP Media has really failed to make their groups successful since TEEN TOP (and have not really promoted TEEN TOP these days either) and 100% was the first group to fall victim to TOP Media’s poor promotions. Debuting in 2012, the group had so much potential and talent. Rockhyun is arguably one of the best K-Pop main vocals of his generation (which global superstar Rain concurs as a coach on KBS’ “The Unit”) but most K-Pop fans won’t even know.  Out of their repertoire, we found “U Beauty” to be worthy of being in the Top 20 most underrated tracks of the decade because of how catchy and wholesome the song is - boy groups often go for either a very cute or very powerful sound and this was a perfect balance of the two. The boys are able to show their cool and manly side through the powerful choreography and the soothing bridge while the rest of the song is cheerful and sweet. It blows our mind that these boys did not receive more attention in 2014 following such a great track. The boys are still an active boy band so go support their latest releases and check out this underrated gem called “U Beauty”!

A-JAX “INSANE” (2013)

A promising boy band which debuted during DSP Media’s more problematic years (essentially this whole decade until 2016/17), A-JAX never got the promotions they deserved. “INSANE” could have been the right direction for the group to pursue (except DSP gave them cute songs afterwards and later no songs at all). Perhaps because this song was slept on at the time of promotions (the album only sold around 2000 copies) that DSP did not try the sound again. However, it is powerful, slightly dark, yet poppy and fun with a good amount of EDM thrown in. We have had lots of quirky sounding girl groups like f(x), Orange Caramel, Red Velvet and Oh My Girl but not many quirky sounding boy bands since SHINee. “INSANE” was a unique song that could have paved the way for A-JAX to have gone down such a path. While the group has officially disbanded this year, “INSANE” is without a doubt one of the top underrated bops of the decade that you should check out!

B.A.P “WAKE ME UP” (2017)

B.A.P had a great start during their early days and were essentially EXO’s rivals in the 2012-13s and brought the powerful self-produced boy band sound before BTS’ debut. However, likely due to a combination of TS Entertainment being shit and them being shittier after the members sued them during 2014-15, B.A.P never reached the heights of their early 2010s popularity again after returning in 2016 and have officially disbanded in 2019. While B.A.P dropped many underrated bops in their final years, we found “WAKE ME UP” to be the one making our Top 20. Not only was this song wonderful to listen to with the haunting repeats of “WAKE ME UP” in the intro and chorus, but it also has a brilliant message as one of the first K-Pop MVs to clearly illustrate different types of mental illness. Especially since the lyrics also spoke to some of the members, especially leader Bang Yongguk’s own mental health struggles, it was frustrating seeing such a good and heartfelt song receive so little attention in South Korea. If you love meaningful K-Pop tracks, you would love “WAKE ME UP”!

C-Clown “Shaking Heart” (2013)

C-Clown was one of the many amazing new groups in 2012 and had a clear sound and direction of ballad-pop bops. “Shaking Heart” was the last song they made in that style before their company made them go for the more generic mainstream hip-hop heavy sound and it definitely one of the best songs of the decade that was heavily slept on. It showcased the vast talents of the group - Kangjun and Ray’s amazing vocal colour and range (and lowkey still most visually powerful vocal line from a small label), Rome and TK’s contrasting rap styles, Siwoo’s consistency and Maru’s potential in becoming a golden maknae. The group has unfortunately disbanded in 2015, only 3 years after their phenomenal start. While most of the members appear to be doing quite well, with Rome (now going by his birth name Christian Yu) having founded DPR and being a famous K-Pop MV director, Kangjun having a solid modelling career and Maru re-debuting as the main vocal for RnB trio TREI, the group itself could have done so much more if more people took notice of what a bop “Shaking Heart” is and gave them the opportunity to do more tracks of that style. Hence, if you enjoy boy band tracks that combine more ballad styles with pop, this is the song for you!

Dalmatian/DMTN “E.R.” (2012)

Dalmatian, later styled DMTN, was famous K-Pop producer MC Mong’s boy band that was gaining positive attention until member Daniel’s marijuana scandal. Member Simon often still does impromptu fan meets when he travels for work (he is now a coach and producer for idol groups in Japan) but the group has been inactive following 2013. While DMTN may now be a group of the past, their music was without a doubt amazing, with “E.R.” being a perfect example of the epitome early 2010s K-Pop sound (those who heard the DMTN “E.R”/B2ST “Fiction” mashup back then knows what’s up). The song had an emotional chorus filled with amazing ad-libs and beautiful piano instrumentals, a subtle yet sexy choreography and dramatic MV. If you love the early 2010s K-Pop sound, you would love this underrated bop!

GLAM “I Like That” (2013)

Many new K-Pop fans either don’t know them or only know them as the reason Big Hit Entertainment has not been recruiting female trainees for many years now (because one member went off to blackmail world star Lee Byunghun - you can learn all about the drama here). However, GLAM was actually an extremely promising girl group and the first idol group fully produced by Bang PD under Big Hit. Like their now world-famous brother group BTS, GLAM was a group with great vocals and rap, with no problem going hard in choreography and making woke statements (their debut song includes lyrics about being down to kiss boys or girls). “I Like That” was a perfect example of their style and abilities. While the song was just a remake of 1990s K-Pop track "Why Do You" by Chuli and Miae, it was done so well it was essentially GLAM’s own song. It is fun, it is catchy and just a strong and confident girl group bop that existed early in the decade when most girl groups besides 2NE1 and 4Minute did not go hard but cute or sexy. If you love powerful girl group tracks, you would love “I Like That”!

HISTORY “DREAMER” (2013)

The first boy band ever debuting under LOEN Entertainment (now Kakao M), the 5-member group of all visuals had many amazing tracks usually in the vein of dark and sexy concepts. The members were also active in song production and choreography and honestly had everything one could ask for to create a successful group. However, South Korea and overseas K-Pop fans both did not seem to have noticed the existence of such a talented and consistently awesome group and they disbanded in 2017. “DREAMER”, their debut track, is arguably one of the best songs of the decade because of the stage musical style of the song - the piano instrumentals in the verses and the marching band inclusion in the buildup to the chorus, with the crazy smooth footwork and wonderful harmonisation of the boys. There is no other K-Pop boy group song like this. If you are a fan of musicals, this is the song for you!

Ladies’ Code “Galaxy” (2016)

Ladies’ Code had a strong debut, being one of the top rookies in 2013 along with current superstars BTS. While their developing career took a huge blow after the car accident which claimed the lives of two members, EunB and Rise, the remaining girls Ashley, Sojung and Zuny powered on to continue creating amazing music. It is painful to see how their excellence is still ignored by the K-Pop fan base at large. Even Billboard listed “Galaxy” as the #19 best K-Pop track of the decade and very deservingly so. “Galaxy” was their first return as a 3-piece and see the girls take a darker and more mature sound following their earlier fun and quirky retro bops. This transition was done well, as more retro sound choices like jazz instrumentals and 80s chime synths were still used in this comeback as a bridge between the sounds of the two Ladies’ Code eras. The song also complements main vocal Sojung’s exceptionally raspy and low voice very well. These girls are still active and deserve so much more. If you enjoy the darker experimental tracks of f(x), Red Velvet and LOONA, “Galaxy” would be your jam! 

MYNAME “Baby I’m Sorry” (2013)

Debuting in 2011 under legendary Korean RnB duo Fly to the Sky’s Hwanhee’s label, MYNAME was the boy band you knew could sing. And damn they could sing so well. Even the rappers of MYNAME sing typical K-Pop lead vocal quality. For this reason, it made a lot of sense for MYNAME to go for a more ballad-pop sound and flourish in such a musical environment. While they did produce a lot of great songs of that sound, the lack of attention from the Korean public pushed them to go for a more generic hip-hop based boy band sound in 2015. “Baby I’m Sorry” was an example of the greatness of their earlier sound which was just brilliant Korean action drama OST material. The MV was also one of the rare story MVs that make it seem like you are watching a movie (plus the boys acted well). While MYNAME is still active, they now pretty much exclusively promote in Japan, where they are actually appreciated and chart high. In Korea, the members gave their last shot as being idols in KBS’ poorly received survival program “The Unit” and now just act sometimes or model. If you love dramatic ballad-based boy band tracks, you should check out MYNAME’s “Baby I’m Sorry”!

Nine Muses “Wild” (2013)

Once known as the real generals of the Korean military due to their huge fan base among conscripted soldiers, Nine Muses was THE sexy girl group of the decade who somehow always existed between real fame and nugudom during their active years from 2010-2019. Like they have dedicated fans but they never win music show #1s. And the song that should have really put them on the map for all Koreans and K-Pop fans is their 2013 comeback “Wild”. This was just pop perfection - it is catchy, showcases each of the 9 members’ unique vocal colours and performance style, and had some of the sharpest and most in-sync girl group choreography execution of all time. It was also one in a long line of Nine Muse songs that sound like high fashion runaway music and arguably one of the peaks due to the specific line-up of members at the time. Check out “Wild”, if you would like to listen to one of the best K-Pop girl group tracks of the decade!

The other 10 Top 20 Underrated K-Pop Tracks of the Decade are listed in PART 2.

#kpop #k-pop #kpop underrated #k-pop underrated #kpop 2010s #k-pop 2010s #kpop 2019 #k-pop 2019 #100% #a-jax #b.a.p #c-clown #dalmatian #glam #history #ladies' code #myname #nine muses #100% u beauty #a-jax insane #b.a.p wake me up #c-clown shaking heart #dalmatian e.r. #glam i like that #history dreamer #ladies' code galaxy #myname baby i'm sorry #nine muses wild

[smolbeandrabbles]

Lover - Martin x Reader (Untogether)

Read as part of Like You Say You Do / Get Even if you like 💕

Gif Credit: @benmendo

Author’s Note: How and Why he is the easiest Mendo for me to write I’m not sure... But I gotta say, it does mean I can write when inspiration hits in a day... Which is good news for Martin.  AND the Martin Squad...! @stcphstrange @beany-ben @mfolcore @alotofrandomfangirling @shantellorraine Disclaimer: The usual / I own nothing but the writing and the reader character Premise: On the final (hometown) gig of the tour, Martin has a surprise for you... Words: 2558 Warnings: N/A

_________  And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years? This is our place, we make the call And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all

Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand? With every guitar string scar on my hand I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue All's well that ends well to end up with you Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover

---

You’d been with Martin for a little while now, and things had gone from good to better. He had never been kidding about your notebook full of poems (or as he consistently called them, lyrics); and before you knew it the band (who, you would like to add also wrote their own stuff) had at least one album, a multitude of music gone digital and a hit in the radio. And there was nothing like that feeling of you both screaming the first time you’d heard it come on in the car. They were also successful, not little clubs to big time stadium successful, but enough to know what it was like to your outside more than just the States. (Though you felt Martin’s heritage helped with that part of the tour).

You and Andrea stayed best friends, and before you knew it - despite your original protests - double dates between her and Nick and you and Martin became nearly a weekly thing; and not always on purpose.  In fact, the four of you had also been on holiday together and you couldn’t count the number of times you’d seen them both at concerts. Tara however... didn’t remain a real friend for much longer than a few months. You still saw her around, and she certainly wasn’t your biggest fan - but you supposed being courteous with each other was a lot better than the cat fight you’d had when she turned up on Martin’s doorstep one day. You’d tried to be reasonable about it, but she wasn’t having it - Martin had to prize you both apart and that didn’t end well for him either. Two hours later he came back, having dropped her at home, and his face had said don’t ask, and you weren’t sure you wanted to. Since then you’d pretty much kept out of each other’s way. And that was sensible.

 Tonight was the hometown last gig of the tour, and afterwards Martin wanted to take a break, paint a little bit (because he knew how much you still loved to watch him do that in tight white T-shirts) and get his life in order. Not that it wasn’t in order - but you’d bought a house together and hadn’t done a lot with it yet, except paint it; obviously. And there was nothing like painting together; especially as there was now always coffee and donuts involved. Traditions were important things to keep! The show was sold out, and not on-the-day sold out either but months in advance sold out, that made you so happy. You liked to keep track of things like that - you loved yelling; “There’s another one sold out!!” At him from scrolling around on your laptop and how he’d run in; “You’re kidding?!” You weren’t always able to go with them, only when work allowed - so thus far you’d seen him a few times. You had a good supposed network and were fine without him there but, you always loved having him home again. So, you hadn’t seen him in a few weeks either. Luckily you had a couple of days before the show so do nothing much more than lay around the house and make out...

Andrea and Nick would be there, of course. And a bunch of your other friends, because they wanted to be there for the welcome home gig. Also Martin pretty much told everyone he would buy the bar afterwards, so many people didn’t need that much persuasion to buy a ticket! (Not that you would hope they would need much persuasion anyway - you’d kick ‘em otherwise) What did surprise you was that your parents and other family members were going to be there. You remember scoffing when they told you that; Why, it’s not even your type of music! You do know it’s not a sit down venue?! Well, we want to support him... also what do you mean not our type of music?!

 So here you were, night of, backstage with about 3 minutes before he went on. And he wouldn’t. Stop. Kissing. You. “You’re gonna be late on!” You giggled, as he set his guitar up in between kisses; “Never late, it’s my gig!” “Well then it’s your fault if they chuck you off stage or cut the power at curfew!” “They’d never...” he pushed his forehead to yours; “Okay fine... One more, for good luck...” You raised an eyebrow; “I thought wishing you good luck was bad luck? I thought it was break a leg?” “Please dear God, no!” He laughed “Good luck is fine...” “What do you need good luck for anyway-!? It’s not luck if it’s talent...” He gave a gentle shrug “Oh, you never know what you’ll need luck for do ya...” “Okay...” you wound your arms around his neck, making this kiss last “Good Luck!”

As you expected he was incredible. He hit all those notes fearlessly; and the band were also on top form. They were riding the high of the home gig, the last gig of the tour - the energy of the crowd... their little steady wave of success. And you couldn’t be prouder that he was giving it his all here. They didn’t wind down because these were the last few minutes they’d spend on stage, they wound up. And you knew that setlist by heart; even the songs that he interwove and changed depending on where they were and what was getting the most airplay. So you knew when there weren’t so many songs left. And that was sad, you didn’t want them to pack up yet, to stop, you wanted them to play all night long.

 But with one song left Martin’s energy seemed to completely change. He didn’t talk often between songs; liking to let the music do his talking for him. But every so often he would. But the last song was high energy, the perfect finisher. Or it was supposed to be. Instead Martin took a deep breath and stepped up to the Mic. “Now usually, there’s a song we would play here, which would make sense as the final song on a set list... right? But... tonight I... wanted to do a little something different. But, I also didn’t really want to do it alone... Because I wrote her a song.... so... I figured if I was gonna play it for ya, it would only be right if she was on stage too, yeah?” It wasn’t that you weren’t listening, just when you suddenly froze at the realisation he was talking about you, he’s written a song for you. But even then it still wasn’t completely registering with you what he’d said, until he called your name. “So hopefully with a little encouragement we can get Ms.Y/N out here, what do you say?” There was a cheer from the crowd that made you instantly embarrassed, and for some reason you felt like you still weren’t hearing this correctly - “C’mon, Y/N… don’t go all shy on me now…!” Martin’s laugh edged nervous, and one of his road crew nudged you in the back. Lucky for that too – as it snapped you back into reality. You took a deep breath, and walked out onto the stage.

The spotlight meant you couldn’t really see the sea of people here to watch him. But Martin was clear as day, and just as beautiful. “Ah! Here she is; may I introduce those of you that don’t know her, to my gorgeous Y/N…” You wanted to push him and tell him to stop, but this was neither the time nor place… And with him looking at you like this in front of his own fans, you couldn’t help your grin. Probably like an idiot, and in front of people I know… Dammit Martin! “So as I was saying… I wrote her a song… And I’d quite like to sing it for her…And maybe end this show a little more low key… Is that alright?” Another jubilant cheer from the crowd made him grin; but still he was fixing you with that look; and you couldn’t figure out what it was… “Aha… Earlier I asked her to kiss me for good luck.” You nearly rolled your eyes; Oh, now he was going to start telling embarrassing anecdotes about you too… “And she said ‘You don’t need it’ which… might be true…” He was still staring at you with immeasurable adoration; “…But for this I feel like I might…”

He stepped away from the mic for a moment, cleared his throat and swallowed hard – and you thought the band might begin to play the notes, to accompany his melody. But no, instead you were met with almost dead silence, because instead of stepping back to the mic Martin stepped forward; and then down onto one knee. WAIT-! There was a mix of emotion from the crowd; somewhere between a scream of delight but also dead silence at respect for the moment, and to hear what he had to say (or you could hear what he had to say). You gathered your hands to your mouth; they all KNEW! Your family and friends they must all KNOW! That’s how come they were all here-! MARTIN!!!

“So, maybe I thought I was never going to be the marrying type…” He pulled a little navy-blue box out of his pocket; “…And maybe sometimes things just happen to let you know, even though you might commit to spend your life with one person… There might be more to it than that. I know that it took me a while to realise that that person was you, but I also knew I’d finally found her in you… Y/N… And maybe it took me a while to realise that I wanted to marry you, but you’re also the only person I’ve ever wanted to get down on one knee for. And I know I don’t plan much, but I did plan this…” He opened the box delicately; the dainty silver piece inset with amethyst was beyond-words beautiful. And you held back your tears, even though you knew they were happy ones. Hell, Martin could have proposed with a piece of plastic and you’d have said yes. “So, in front of my band and a bunch of our friends… I’m asking for your hand in marriage… And you can have my heart and soul…” He gave a tiny shrug with a smile; “Heck, I think you already do… So, I know you’re going to take good care of ‘em…” Martin took another breath; “Y/N… Will you marry me?” Not that you would have declined; but how you were supposed to do that in front of all these people anyway was a mystery to you. You also decided that vocalising it might be better, in the circumstances, than just nodding “Yes!” “Yes?” “YES!” The crowd erupted in happy raptures; led by his band, as Martin stood and pulled you to him to kiss you, winding his arms around you you could feel the nervous, now triumphant, energy that flowed through him. “Good thing you wished me luck…” “…Oh yeah, that’s the only reason I said yes…” He couldn’t help but laugh as he let you go and took your hand in his – you watched, still smiling and a little lost for words, as he slipped the ring onto your finger. “Guess now is as good a time as any to tell you I love you?” You shook your head; “I know, why do you think I said yes?”

He motioned to his crew to bring you a stool to sit on; but Martin being Martin wouldn’t let you just sit on it, oh no… He had to pick you up whilst kissing you and put you on it himself. You covered your face with your hands; yes – that what perfect cause to be embarrassed thank you very much!!! You had to live this down to your family now. And Andrea. Who was probably filming the whole thing. He shouldered his acoustic guitar and turned back to you; “So… Y/N… This song is for you…” The band let him start alone – and suddenly you were transported to your living room, where he would cuddle up with you and test out your poems, or his lyrics with tunes in his head and see what stuck, and what sometimes didn’t. But even if you were aware you were in a room full of people – for that first verse there was just the two of you. And you realised something. You realised exactly what he was doing – and what this song was – and how no one in this room would ever know the significance. “Martin…” You knew you’d murmured it, that he knew you’d said his name and you got it by the way he smiled; he’d entwined lines from your poems about him in with his own lyrics about you… Lyrics you couldn’t even believe he remembered from the first time he’d read your notebook and asked if they were about him and you’d denied it… He was perfectly mixing them here… He wasn’t just singing lyrics to a song he’d written. Martin was singing your history. This song wasn’t for you. This song was yours.

***

Andrea was, unsurprisingly, the first one to greet you – almost screaming – as you appeared from back stage “OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!” “How long have YOU known!? C’mon, he invited all of you because you knew – don’t deny it! I’m gonna KILL HIM!” “Okay, before you go killin’ your fiancé, we were always gonna come, I’ll have you know! I dunno, I think he finally up and told us about a month ago. I’ve literally been biting my tongue about it, though.” You stared at her for a second, and had barely listened to anything beyond her seventh word, before your face lit up; “Holy sh*t! Martin is my fiancé!” “…Yes, no more boyfriend girlfriend stuff its- YOU!” she yelled again, and another cheer went up from both your friends and family as he appeared looking nothing more than euphoric. Andrea let you go and ran to him; and almost tackled him to the ground; “YOU! YOU ASSHOLE!!! DO NOT TELL ME THAT SPEECH WAS ON THE FLY! YOU SAID EVERYTHING I WROTE DOWN!!! YOU SON OF A-!” “Woah, okay, okay, I took some inspiration…” She smacked his arm; “You didn’t even act like you were interested or listening! I could kill you as much as I could kiss you! But I won’t because I don’t want to make your new fiancée jealous.” You folded your arms with a laugh; “Oh, did Andrea write it?!” “No! No!” He pointed to her “Be fair; I told you what I wanted to say…” “Okay…” she huffed “I put his speech a little more eloquently… Or you would have been up there listening to him ramble for 30 minutes, and then he’d get knee cramp…” Martin scoffed at that idea, walking across the floor to you, taking you back in his arms; “Whatever…” She called after him; “C’mon – short and sexy!” “…Old and sexy!” You looked around him with a grin to your best friend. Martin sighed in mock annoyance. “Geez… I have this for the rest of my life…!” “How lucky are you!?”

💍

---

AHHHH!!! I FINALLY WROTE IT! 🎉🎉🎉🎉

@dennismitchell @krnncsbtch @happyskywhale #MendoTagSquad.

#SO yeaaaaah Taylor Swift's new album #Writing inspo it certainly is #I've had this scenario for a while but the bridge to THIS song #OH wow perfect #Martin #Martin x Reader #Untogether #Ben Mendelsohn #64 #/Hums Beatles Song/

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Twelve

Part Eleven

Pairing: Douglas Booth!Nikki Sixx x OC

Words: 3k

Warnings: Mentions of drug use, implied sexual situations, language

Tag List: @vamprlestat @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @fandomshit6000 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @kingbouji3 @evrsncnewyork @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @swoopygorl @justjodeye @liith-ium @caos18blog @ytwahsog @shamlessobsessions @scarecrowmax @toadspleen @random-internet-user-4471

**Let me know if you want to be tagged**

———————————————————————

She was out of her ever-loving mind.

I watch from the corner of the loud penthouse suite as Tansy dances provocatively on the bar of the kitchen island with Sparkie, a sea of bodies surrounding them and having their own raunch fest as loud pop music blares out over the stereo system.

Every girl here is a model of some sort, everything from Vogue to the cheap porn magazines you get at a check out line of a grocery store, and I'm pretty sure every guy here is a drug dealer judging by the excessive amount of narcotics laying around, and I've witnessed Tansy doing every single one after another.

Worry builds a home in my gut, my eyes watching as the bleach blonde escapes to her own world and zones out, keeping her eyes closed as she clings to Sparkie to keep from losing her balance.

Tansy never touched drugs when we were in high school and she didn't drink that much, yet here she is, acting as if she could be the long lost member of Nikki and Tommy's Terror Twin duo.

I take a swig of my water, watching Tansy start pulling at her tight, Sky blue dress. Knowing better than to try to stop her, I'm left watching her strip down to absolutely nothing. I learned quickly that she's mean when enough drugs get in to her system, trying to stab me with her keys when I tried to get her to keep her clothes on. She knows how she acts when she's messed up, and she's not ashamed of it in the least, so I let her do as she pleases.

I do, however, avert my gaze as Sparkie starts trying to get his pants down to screw her.

Inevitably this will turn in to a huge orgy like every other night we've partied. Plenty of parties in L.A. get this nasty, but Nikki usually keeps stray hands from groping at me. I'm defenseless here, so I know to slip to the balcony out by the master bedroom.

I kick my heels off as I step through Tansy's room, sliding the glass door open at the balcony and step on to the cement, looking over at the shining city.

I look up, unable to see a single star in the sky due to the brightness of the neon lights.

"Well, that's stupid." I mumble, rolling my eyes, looking down at the city over the side of the railing.

"Don't jump," A woman's voice says and I snap around, seeing someone I recognize immediately, not only from Tansy's modeling circle, but from Vanity 6.

"I'm not, I just needed some air." I explain to her, looking back to the city. She stumbles to me slightly, gripping at my shoulder with a shaking hand as she stands next to me before holding on to the metal bar in front of us for support.

Denise Matthews a.k.a...

"Vanity," she introduces herself, extending her hand with the energy of an excited puppy.

Judging by her fidgeting and slight jitteriness, it's drug induced.

"I know." I say back, glancing at her. "I'm Vivian."

"Tansalyn's told me about you." She states with a nod. I frown at her using Tansy's government name, not able to recall the last time I actually called her that. "Why aren't you inside having fun?" She blatantly asks me and I smirk.

"Has she not mentioned I don't do sex parties?" I ask innocently, waiting for her answer.

"Ha!" She laughs humorously, her eyes squeezing closed as if I just said the funniest joke she's ever heard.

"What?" I furrow my brows and she calms down with a hum, her dark red nails pressing to her lips.

"It's pretty impossible to be in this industry and not have a thing, is all." She shrugs and I look at her, confused.

"A thing?"

"A thing to distract you. Like relationships or drugs or alcohol or money...or all of it, if you're like Tansalyn." She suggests, still chuckling. "A thing to help kinda numb you from everything once they strip away every ounce of innocence you have left and turn you in to their pretty little dolly and have you dancing up on their strings." Her dark words are said with a light as air touch to them and I slightly shake my head.

"Oh, I—I'm not in the industry at all. Tansy and some friends back home are my only connections to the entertainment world." I tell her gently.

"You're pretty. They'll snatch you up in the blink of an eye and get something outta you, too, before you can stop any of them, I promise." She tells me, relentless in her attempt to warn me, still speaking as if what she's saying isn't a big deal. She even giggles a little and waves her hand a couple times, dismissively.

"What's your thing?" I ask.

Her candidness fades quickly and she's putting her mask back on, smoothing down her dark hair and licking her glossy lips.

"I don't need one. I just really like what I do." It's bullshit coming from her lips as she gives me the same fake smile she probably gives everyone else to try to help her deny the fact that she’s trapped.

I thought she was a lunatic when I met her. I thought she was a lunatic when I found out she taught Nikki how to freebase cocaine. And I thought she was a lunatic when she and Nikki started hanging out when I wasn't home. Of course all of that happened years after I met her, but had I known I was having a conversation with the one woman who would go on to make my marriage even more of a living hell, I would've thrown her off the balcony.

However, I always felt sorry for her because she reminded me so much of Tansy. And Tansy was in a similar situation as Denise, except Tansy was way too prideful to even hint that anything was wrong. She didn't want to burden any of us with her struggles. I suspected something was off when she informed me of her heroin usage, but she denied it had anything to do with her modeling, so she continued to be used and abused but didn’t reach out for help until she and Sparkie broke up in ‘87.

The next few nights consist of the same type of parties, just at different locations. It isn’t until I sit one of them out and stay at the apartment by myself that I’m actually able to have time for phone calls.

“Viv?" Nikki's voice sounds through the other line once I answer.

"Hey!" I pipe out enthusiastically, glancing at the clock to see it's 2:00am here, which means it's 11:00pm in L.A. "I figured you'd be out with the guys by now." I add.

"Uh, yeah, me and Tommy are about to head out, I was just calling to check up on you." He explains, a quiet moment settling between us before he clears his throat. "You know, I tried calling last night and the night before and you never answered."

I squeeze my eyes shut and rub my forehead with my free hand, breathing out.

"Yeah, we haven't been here very much, actually." I say to him truthfully. "Tansy's a hell of a lot more busy than I think any of us thought she was. She has to wake up at eight o'clock in the morning and she works all day and parties all night. We only come back to her apartment to make a quick clothing change, and then again when we get back in the middle of the night to go to bed."

"Tansy parties all night?" He asks me skeptically and I scoff.

"So badly that the Terror Twins might have to turn in to the Terror Triplets." I state.

"Oh, damn." He chuckles and I rub my lips together.

"Also," I start nervously. "Tansy's asked me to stay an extra week."

The other line is silent, and I begin to think I lost his call or something, but I hear his heavy breath sigh out.

"I know I've already been here for over a week and I said I'd only be gone for two weeks but I never get to see her, Nikki." I point out.

"Well, we don't necessarily see each other as much as we use to either, Viv, even when you're here." He argues.

"And neither of us can really help that. Unless you want to quit music and work a nine to five while I go back to school."

"I just thought the point of you quitting school was to avoid leaving us but none of us have gotten to see you much any this past month." He argues.

"Because you're working on an album and I have my own things I want to do, like visit my friend when she needs me to." I try to keep from getting too defensive. "If you can't go three weeks without seeing me then how are we gonna raise a baby with you traveling everywhere because I'm not taking a baby all over the world, Nikki."

"That's not even anything to be worried about. We'll cross that bridge when we get there a very, very, very long time from now." He's matter of fact and I roll my jaw, about to throw a wrench in to his plans.

"Well, then God has a sense of humor because I'm pregnant, Nikki. And I would like to cross that bridge before I'm in labor with my husband in a completely different country."

I can't stop myself from blurting it out, and the line's an ear shattering silence for God knows how long before he suddenly hangs up the phone.

I didn't blame him for lack of communication after that. I had basically told him, over the phone, he couldn't afford to be a Rockstar the way he dreamt of for years. It was the one time I had told him I was pregnant, out of seven pregnancies, and it wasn't in the way I had wanted to tell him, and that was my fault. I couldn't blame him for it.

I got through half of the next week, which was the third week I had been in New York with Tansy before the unattempted phone calls from Nikki and blatant ignoring of my calls to Nikki, got the best of me.

I head to the doors of the airport, my bags in hand as I step outside and see Vince's car, with him leaned against it with crossed arms. I let out a relieved breath that he didn't forget about me.

He gives me a closed mouth grin as I approach him with a similar expression. I'm not sure if Nikki's told him or not, but he doesn't seem to make a big deal about it if he does know.

I set my bags down as he takes a step closer to me and hugs me.

I'm used to Vince's playful little passes, like randomly holding my hand for a few seconds, putting his arm around me, biting me, trying to lick me, and hugging me with the same energy of a horny Chihuahua humping a pillow. But this is a genuine hug without teasing intentions, which is something I don't recall ever getting from him.

He smells like tanning oil and light liquor, his exposed arms, chest and abdomen from his opened white button down shirt, are extremely warm and he has the tiniest hint of a sunburn on his nose.

"You left the beach for me." I state, pulling away to look at his freshly sun-kissed skin.

"I was your only hope being that the other guys are in the studio." He explains with a shrug, grabbing my bags and putting them in to the trunk of his car.

"Oh, I bet Nikki loves the fact his singer isn't putting forth any effort." I add and he rolls his eyes behind his brown tinted aviator sunglasses as the two of us get in to this car.

"Once Nikki stops bitching and actually writes me some fuckin' music to sing, I'll get in the studio." He says and I buckle my seatbelt and hold back a laugh. "So, what're the wedding plans, now?" He asks me casually after a moment of driving.

"If we even get married. Nikki might just run for the hills and pretend he doesn't know I exist while chasing his dreams." I comment, rubbing my eye and Vince takes in a sharp breath. "Probably end up getting married this month like he wanted to do originally. I don't want to be fat at my wedding."

"There's always Vegas." Vince suggests, trying to lighten the mood. "Holy shit your mom's gonna stroke out, Viv." He laughs at the realization and I eventually join him, the two of us sadistically finding humor in my mother's disapproval.

"...Is he mad at me?" I ask after we calm down and he shakes his head.

"I've been needing an excuse to kick his fucking ass and him being pissed at you is a good one."

"The hell happened between you two?" I ask him and he scoffs.

"He's just being an asshole."

There's a pause that passes between us and I think of one thing that's against Vince if he and Nikki are to ever get in to a physical altercation.

"He's a little taller than you, Vince." I remind him.

"Which means I swing low, Viv." He assures me and I raise my brows.

Once we get to the parking lot of the studio, he pulls a flash from his glove box and takes a few sips, offering it to me.

I raise a brow and look at him, then at the flask, and back to him.

"Oh," He closes it. "I forgot you don't drink."

I want to say, "I'm also pregnant" but decide against it, letting him have his moment.

We get out of the car and head inside, seeing Doc and

one of the sound engineers heading back inside the studio.

Doc stops when we get to the door, holding it open for Vince and greeting him.

"Vivian," He says to me next as I'm about to walk in to the room. "Congratulations."

I don't say anything in return, only giving him a small smile as I prepare to face Nikki.

My eyes catch on him before he even notices I'm here and I watch with cut eyes as he and Tommy cut up a couple of lines together and take turns snorting it, being adored and doted on by two incredibly scantily clad women hanging off each of them.

A part of me wants to knock Nikki and the brunette in the back of the head, but another part of me doesn't feel like she's worth the wasted breath it would require to tell her to screw off, if Nikki clearly won't reinforce it. And the fact that he won't pisses me off.

"Down, kitty." Vince mumbles teasingly as he pats my shoulder before brushing past me to get to the sound booth and Doc glances at me, noticing my discomfort.

He deliberately hits the intercom before clearing his throat, catching Tommy's, Mick's and Nikki's attention just as Vince walks in.

Like a toddler, Tommy's squealing when he sees me, discarding the blonde woman next to him as he trips over the back of the couch, trying to jump over it in order to get in here to me.

He's snatching the door open in a heartbeat and attacking me, nearly taking me to the ground with his weight as he clings to me as if for dear life.

I close my eyes after a second of him squeezing me to him and telling me how much he's missed me, trying to fill me in on what all's happened here while I've been away.

My calmness is short lived as I open my eyes and see that Nikki hasn't even given me a second glance, continuing to strum at his bass as he shows something about it to Mick.

"You excited or what, Viv?" Tommy nudges me with his elbow, showing me a wide smile. Of course Tommy's stoked. I didn't expect any less from him.

"Very." I tell Tommy. It's a partial lie, but I can't bring myself to ruin his positivity.

When Nikki and Mick finish up, Mick's kicking at his leg, causing Nikki to finally look at me.

He brushes it off and goes back to work, shaking his head a little.

Everyone seems to be oblivious about what's going on, aside from Mick, who just gives me a glance and says something to himself, picking at his guitar and scribbling another note down.

I just want to go home.

I step to the door of the sound booth and swing it open, causing Vince, Mick and the two girls to look at me as I step towards Nikki, holding my hand out to him.

"Keys." I say blankly, raising a brow as he stops playing.

He finally acknowledges me, looking up at me blankly as I start tapping my foot on the floor, knowing it'll piss him off if I do it enough. Ignoring me, he turns back to strum on his bass and ask Mick's opinion about a lyric.

"May I have the car keys, please, Nikki." I ask him venomously, knowing he's ignoring me to be spiteful about my attitude.

"You're not driving my Porsche." He states and I cross my arms.

"You mean the Porsche I begged you not to buy?" I ask.

"I mean the Porsche I've worked my ass off for." He snaps around to face me.

"Well, I want to go home." I argue.

"You can always walk." The brunette, that was practically dry humping Nikki earlier, speaks up from the couch she's seated on.

"You can always suck my clit." I shoot back and she rolls her jaw.

"Better yet, go back to New York." She's borderline raising her voice at me.

"Better yet, go back to the street corner you were scraped off of."

"Cunt." She states.

"Hey! Shut your goddamn mouth!” He yells at the girl, pointing his finger at her.

She closes her mouth, glaring at me, and I wait for Nikki to give me the car keys so I can leave.

He looks at me, letting out a frustrated breath before handing me the keys to his Porsche.

“Just go.” He says as waves me off, irritated.

“I'll see you when you get home, then." I tell him, giving the strange girl one last cut of my eyes before storming out and slamming the door.

#nikki sixx #tommy lee #vince neil #mötley crüe #douglas booth #colson baker #daniel webber #the dirt #the dirt movie #douglas booth!nikki sixx

[chicksung]

Red and White Roses- PJM Hanahaki Disease AU Chapter 3

 Genre: Hanahaki AU, a little bit of fluff and quite a bit of angst

Pairing: Hanahaki! Park Jimin x Hanahaki! Reader ft. Min Yoongi

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, depictions of blood and gore, throwing up flowers, panic attacks

Word Count: 2k+

Post Date: 23/02/19

Summary: Everything is spiraling out of control, your parents are getting divorced, 2 of your younger siblings are moving in with your father, you have to find an apartment and continue your English major and panic attacks are becoming a frequent thing. But what’s the cherry on top of your anxiety built cake? The name engraved on your right hand and the flowers growing in your stomach

A/N: Hello there, I am completely shook. I did not expect to get more than one note, but on the last chapter, I get a surprise. My notifications weren’t working and didn’t see that people (who weren’t robots) followed me and liked it. Thank you so much, I love you all so much <3\

Chapter One II Chapter Two II Chapter Three II Chapter Four

Previously, in Red and White Roses:

“Yoongi, what do we -I- do?” You whimpered, your hair hanging in front of your face like a curtain. “There are only two options really, wait for Jimin to fall in love with you or if it becomes too much, we surgically remove it. The second one’s not as simple as it sounds, it also removes your feelings for that person and maybe your ability to ever love again.” You took a deep, shaky breath, brushing your hair behind your ear. “What happens if neither of those happen?” You asked, anxiety washing over your body like a rough sea on a stormy night. “Your lungs fill with petals and flowers, stems, or in your case thorns, grow around your heart, weakening you by the day until one day, you die.”

XXX

That day was the first of many days that you threw white rose petals, the only difference is that everyday, the amount of petals you coughed up would double until by this time, you were practically throwing up an entire garden. Only Yoongi knew of your sickness, only he knew why you always left to the break room to ‘grab a glass of water’ when Jimin entered the store, when you were really throwing up a depressingly beautiful display into the toilet bowl. He always dealt with Jimin, giving him a quick chat, his album or whatever he came there for, watching him leave before dashing to the break room, getting a large glass of water and comforted you from the side of the toilet bowl. Your deepest wish was for this to stop, the flowers that were once your favorite to stop growing in your lungs and stomach. You spent everyday like this, but at home was even worse than at work. You had no way to escape Jimin there, you were trapped, enclosed by a strong cage made of thorns and white roses, with Jimin as your oblivious captor. You often went to bed as early as you could, usually having a shower as soon as Jimin got home, throwing up the flowers before actually taking the shower, brushing your teeth and trying your hardest to fall asleep. You often woke up in the middle of the night, the flowers in your throat slowly rising to the back of your throat again, but every time you woke, you took a look at Jimin, making the feeling even worse. Most nights, you threw up on the floor, but with only petals coming up, it wasn’t hard to discard the evidence of your sickness. Even if you didn’t manage to sweep away all the evidence, you slept with the window open to let the early spring breeze blow throw the dorm room, and with the flowers on the trees already blooming, it was easy to blame the trees.

XXX

It was the end of Winter Break and the first day of the semester, the halls becoming packed with somewhat familiar faces, an almost foreign smell of spring air wafting through campus. You had woken up before Jimin, his sleeping body making your chest feel tight, but you swallowed the petals in your throat and began to change. You picked out a comfortable outfit, ripped grey jeans, a baggy white shirt and a lilac purple hoodie, complete with a black beanie. You packed your satchel with your work books, your notes from last semester, your phone, your wallet, a few notebooks and a few pens. You dashed out the door (not before double checking you had your key card) and towards the Literature building, towards the back of campus. You knew there was no need to run, but you didn’t care at this point, you had felt the familiar feeling of petals in your throat since you woke up this morning. You knew it would be better to throw up the soft petals sooner rather than later, due to the fact that you tended to throw up double the amount of petals than you normally would. You couldn’t bring yourself to eat breakfast this morning, only grabbing a protein bar from a vending machine close to the library. You finally stopped to catch your breath once you reached the Literature building, your breath catching every petal at the back of your throat. You knew you wouldn’t make it through class before you threw up in front of everyone (which only really consisted of five to thirteen students but you knew gossip spread like wildfire in a place like college) and would be brought to the hospital. You quickly ducked into the bathroom, a few other girls inside, checking their makeup, their hair, their outfit, the usual things girls checked in the mirror. You tried your very hardest to not make any noise, which you somehow managed to do fairly well, not missing a single thing that Yoongi did, except for the fact that you had left your water bottle on your desk in your hurry this morning. You leave the bathroom, only two people left in the bathroom, but didn’t seem to notice you enter or leave. You headed into the lecture hall, picking a seat towards the back, yet not at the very back. You sat down, grabbing one of your notebooks, a pen and turned to the front of the room, where you caught a friend of yours walking inside. Kim Namjoon, a fellow English major and real sweetheart. He spotted you almost as quickly as you did, despite you trying to avoid his gaze. He climbed up the several steps up to where you sat before practically crash landing into the chair next to you.

“Penny for your thoughts.” H e said calmly, breaking your train of thought, while also slightly startling you. You clutched your heart in a way of showing him he scared you and he smiled, the cute indents on his cheeks appearing.

“Sorry, you kinda scared me. I’ve just been thinking about our upcoming assignment. I just don’t know if I’ll be able to pull something good off. I’ve been kinda stressed lately, several things happened over break.” You sighed out an explanation, leaning back in your seat. He listened closely, taking in every word you say. 

“Well, one way I de-stress is I read a book or look at a photo that reminds me of happy times.” You smiled weakly at the latter, knowing that no picture you own will make you feel better. Every photo you owned had some sad memory tied to it, the one of you and your German Shepard, Daisy, was taken days before she was hit by a car, the one of all your siblings, was three weeks before your older brother was found dead on the bathroom floor and when your parents and siblings were all still together. The ones of your friends were all before they moved on in their lives, finding better people than you, and even the ones here held some sort of unhappy memory. 

“I’ll try that next time.” 

XXX 

 A few weeks had gone by and things weren’t getting any better, but today was the worst you had ever felt. You had been trying to keep your head down all day, your thoughts becoming blurred together, you felt dizzy, you felt sore and tired, both physically and emotionally. You had somehow managed to get yourself to Yoongi’s music store, open the door, stumble into the store and walk in a somewhat straight line towards Yoongi behind the counter before throwing up roses onto the counter. Yoongi watched in something that could only be described as horror and awe from the amount of petals that escaped your small mouth. Once you had let out your fountain of white, Yoongi went up to the door, flipping the sign on the glass door from ‘We are Open’ to ‘We are Closed’, turning on his heel towards to you and guided you to the break room. He laid you down on the couch, propping your head up with some cushions from an armchair in the corner. 

“Y/N, you’re getting worse and worse everyday, how long do you want this to continue. Maybe just, go to the hospital, you’re already growing weak.” Yoongi lectured, handing you a glass of water. You shook your head, one of the very few things you could do.

“I can’t, Yoongi-ah, I don’t want to give up just ye-” Your voice was cut off by more roses erupting from your throat and into your water. This normally wouldn’t be too bad except for the fact that the water was turning a crimson red and there was blood running down your chin. Yoongi’s eyes widened with horror, the flash of concern washed over them. Your consciousness was slowly starting to slip, the lights in the room starting to flicker, your eyelids feeling heavy. Yoongi rushed to your side from his original position in the corner, gripping your upper arms to keep you stable.

“Hey Y/N, don’t pass out on me now, stay with me please.” Yoongi called out to you in your hazy mind, his voice spiked with worry. You didn’t ask for this, you didn’t want to face the same fate as your older brother, hold out for too long before your life caved in on itself like a rock hitting a window. You had fallen too deeply in love with Jimin that you no longer believed that he could ever possibly return your feelings, he was almost perfect...no he was perfect, he was too far out of your league. The more you thought about how Jimin was so much better than yourself, the more Jimin’s name engraved on your right hand stung to the point where it felt like it was burning. The feeling of your consciousness slipping had disappeared and was replaced with hot salty tears. You leaned forward and cried into Yoongi’s shoulder, leaving a damp patch on his grey T-shirt. 

“He’ll never fall in love with me.” You barely whispered, however loud enough for Yoongi to hear and he immediately knew who he was.

“How do you know?” Yoongi questioned with a quiet and comforting tone in his voice, pulling away from his shoulder and giving you soft eyes that would normally make you smile wholeheartedly but instead what he got was a sad, empty smile. You felt another sudden wave of familiar nausea and you jumped up from the couch and ran towards the bathroom, Yoongi hot on your heels. You didn’t care to close the door and fell to your knees on the hard tiled floor, a sting of pain mixing with the nausea. You closed your eyes and threw up onto the blue and white tiles, not wanting to see the red splattered roses that haunted your body and life like a poltergeist. You felt the blood and flower petals explode from your throat like a volcano, making your throat feel like it was on fire. You felt the end of the wave escape your lips, the soothing circles on your back from Yoongi were the comfort in your mental and internal hell. You didn’t bother opening your eyes, only to be greeted with the same petals you faced every single day. Usually by this time, Yoongi would whisper comforting nothings into the thick and tense silence but no word escaped his lips, just his heavy breathing. 

“Y/N, open your eyes.” He said, shock and awe lacing his voice. You mentally rolled your eyes and thought about how big of an asshole he was being right now.

“Why would I want to do that?” You retorted, your voice scratchy from throwing up.

“Just trust me.”

You sighed in defeat, opening your eyes and expecting to be faced with a big red puddle with pure white petals soaking up the liquid. However, you now see why Yoongi had been silent. There was a red puddle indeed but instead of the white petals soaking up the blood, the petals were a vivid orange and a completely different shape then the petals you were used to throwing up.

“Y-Yoongi? What does this mean? I-I don’t u-understand.” You hiccuped, the same hot salty tears stinging your eyes.

“This means two things, Y/N. The first thing is that he has the same disease as you.” He started, his eyes fixated on the puddle on the floor.

“What the second thing, Yoongs?” You interjected, eyes filled with a million questions.

“He has returned you feelings...”

Chapter 3 end

Author’s End Note: Hey my beauties, I’m sorry this took so long to write!!!! The thing was I had this little internet thing in my laptop that hooked me up to the internet and it was really old and it just kinda stopped working one day so it took my mother a week to get me a new one, so I hope you enjoy this chapter and as always, I love you guys

Good Day/Night to all of you Taecups and SugaKookies

~Kookie’s Cup of Tae 

#Hanahaki disease #hanahaki disease au #park jimin #bts #bts au #bts fanfic #bangtan book club #lil mochi #bts fan fiction #fan fiction #bts writers net

[ificouldhelpyouforget]

NOEASY TRACKLIST: MY FAVORITES (IN ORDER FROM MOST TO LEAST)

When the NOEASY album came out last month, I posted my initial list of favorites and said that is was subject to change. Well, it's changed pretty drastically, so here I am again to update that list based on how often I actually listen to it, whether or not I skip it or manage to listen to it when doing a task, how often each song gets stuck in my head, and how much I love my bias' part in the song. I know, a totally legit rating system.

1. SSICK: Initially, I had this at the bottom of my list. It didn't catch my attention nearly as well as most of the other songs. I felt it was a little boring until I started to hear it more often. This is the song that some part of it is stuck in my head for days. I'm not talking just a few hours. It could be "me so sick (sick, sick)" or "me so sick and legendary" or the outro, but some part of that song is constantly in my head. And let me tell you, the moment I found out that Felix freaking sings not in his lower register, ya girl put this song at the top. I'm obsessed. His voice sounds so full and round and just so good. I've been dying for more mid-register Felix and he delivered!

2. DOMINO: Surprise, surprise, a song with an incredible part of just Felix singing in his deep voice is at the top. I think this only moved down a rank from the last list I made. The song itself is a bop. I also jam to it hard and act goofy. It gets me hyped and I love that in music. I also just love saying "aye, domino," and letting Jisung go do his thing. It always makes me laugh. I often just get the repeated "domino, domino" part stuck in my head. Sometimes Felix's bit at the end hangs around, but it's my alarm sound (great way to wake up btw) and doesn't get stuck as often. The dance break before it is honestly my favorite part though. Especially now that we have the performances where Hyunjin leads the charge. Ah! It's so great! Oh, and Hyunjin's line where his voice starts high and stair steps down to his normal rap voice is another favorite part.

3. Thunderous: I really thought I was going to get sick of this one with how many performances they did and how it showed up everywhere (and got stuck in my head constantly), but I still love it. It always gets me moving even though I don't know any of the choreo except the ptui part. And the "I'm not sorry I'm dirty" parts from both Felix and Chan are just 💜. I seriously can't get over it.

4. CHEESE: "HA! CHEESE!" is already getting me and then "why'd you say it like that?"... the video at the part is just... my mind blanks. The fact the song is a freaking diss track is the greatest because I've been frustrated as a fan by the craziness and hate sent their way, but they straight up said, "you can't get to us," and I love that. Hate on them or their music, but they are still vibing. It's embarrassing how often I get I.N's 1, 2, 3 stuck in my head AND Felix naming cheeses. Like, someone says "cheese" and I immediately start singing some part in the song.

5. Sorry, I Love You: I can hardly sing a single word in this song not knowing any Korean, but it's so catchy. I try to sing what I hear, but I'm always listening in my car (for now as my ears are still healing from piercings and I don't use earbuds), so I get words wrong often. It's such a beautiful song and all of their voices sound so good. This doesn't get stuck in my head nearly as often as some of the songs ranked lower, but I can't get over this song. I don't even skip it when I'm not in the mood for slower songs and that says a lot.

6. Star Lost: This might have been higher or in the same place (these next few are pretty interchangeable), but it's gotten a lot of love from me. I like the sound, the upbeat feeling to it, and my goodness the cute thing Felix does with his voice at the end of his part (kinda toward the beginning of the song), I can't ignore how much I like this song. It's so adorable. Haha. This gets me driving a little too fast when I'm going places though because it's just another hype song for me. Feels kinda like spring for me. Not quite summer, but definitely a windows down warm day kind of vibe.

7. The View: This shouldn't be this low because I adore this song and I'm constantly singing it, but there are so many others I like a little bit more, so that's why it's here. I also feel like since I don't actually like the view of where I live, it's harder for me to really vibe with it. The music video is so cute, too. I've actually been obsessed with the neon sign that says "dreams come true to those who truly want them" or whatever it is because I think it's a great cover photo for social media, but no one screenshot the scene of just the sign (my internet sucks too much for it to be clear for me). Then Felix posted a photo of it on its own, so we're all good. By the way, did I mention Felix is my bias? 😂

8. Surfin': I rarely get this song stuck in my head only because the only part I ever really sing is, well, Felix's part in the chorus. The other parts I can pick out and sing don't stick in my head as well. I'm not a summer girl, but the vibe of this song is so cute along with the music video. The little lizard on Felix's outfit, the soft moment of Minho singing in front of that sunset sheet, Changbin being cute af... it's a great video (and song).

9. Mixtape: OH: This also should be higher because I love it so much, but alas, here it sits. I do consistently listen to it when I comes on. It's technically my first song with OT8. I wasn't a fan (didn't know of SKZ) when they released their other songs before this one. I mean, I was there for the stuff on Kingdom, but that wasn't OT8. And then this came out and I was so happy they were a complete group again. The story of this song hits so hard for (although different than what they were probably intending) and I totally cried watching it (it definitely wasn't a Felix moment that made me cry). I loved it so much that I bought the song as soon as it came out and did nail art to celebrate.

10. Red Lights: Okay, so this gets stuck in my head just as much as some of the songs at the top of this list BUT I'm so sick of the constant sexualizing of it that it's all the way down here. I get it, that was the vibe Chan and Hyunjin were going for and I respect that, but the way Stays are drooling and acting like, well, horn dogs is turning me off of the song. They did amazing with the lyrics and putting it to the track and the music video is visually striking, albeit more horror-esque to me than sexy. I don't skip it often if at all because the beat is catchy. But as soon as I remember how inappropriate some fans are being about it, I just can't listen. Mind you, we all think that way sometimes (I am no different when Felix does certain things or wears certain things or when another member does something that completely throws me off), but it's a bit much.

11. Silent Cry: I hate to say it because I do enjoy this song, but it's a bit forgettable for me. I skip it a lot because I have 10 other songs I'd rather listen to than this one. It's not at all a bad song and the lyrics are so sad. It just doesn't hit the same as other songs on the album. I honestly can't recall a single part in this song because the other songs are overpowering it. I do think it resonates with a ton of fans and it's much higher on their list, which is awesome, it just isn't the song for me.

12. Secret, Secret: This is another one, as beautiful as it is, that doesn't stick out to me. I'm also not in a slow song mood, so I skip almost every time it comes on. I can remember the intro the song though unlike "Silent Cry" where I can't think of any part of it. Maybe it should go higher because of that... It's just not the mood I'm looking for right now. But again, gorgeous song. I think more people should listen to it than "Red Lights" to be honest.

13. WOLFGANG: Ugh, I didn't want to put this down so low because I've been in love with it since Kingdom and even more so with OT8, but I think I got tired of it too fast because I listened to it so often and played the performance video a ton. It's fun to listen to and I don't skip it as often as the slower songs, but I have skipped it too much to put it much higher on this list. Sorry, y'all. I enjoy it, but I overplayed it. It's on me.

14. Gone Away: I hate that this song is so low because Jisung, Seungmin, and I.N's voices are amazing together in this. They wrote beautiful lyrics and the emotion in the music video is so heartbreaking to see... I just am not into slow songs right now. My friend would definitely disagree with me though. She loves it. Not a single song on this album is bad and it being the last on my list doesn't say that I think it's bad in any sense of the word, it just doesn't hit my vibe right now. But gosh is it beautiful.

#stray kids #skz #noeasy #stray kids noeasy #skz noeasy #noeasy tracklist #noeasy rankings #my rankings #this will most likely change again #my ranking never last long tbh

[maeleeme]

HER

Chapter 02: Beginning

A/N: Story also crossposted in AO3 & AFF.

| Inner thoughts in Italics |

Staring at the screen, Namjoon languidly nodded in agreement. Standing at approximately 5’6” was a petite woman with a sun kissed face with soft rounded cheeks and a cute button nose. Her wide-set eyes were like pools of dark chocolate, framed by neatly plucked eyebrows shaped into a perfect arch.  Her lips plump, an attractive rose budded colour which were currently smiling at the camera displaying a set of perfect teeth. She was beautiful… just wasn’t his type.

He glanced at the two members and noticed Jimin so concentrated on the woman. That’s a first… Slowly, a cheshire smile appeared on Namjoon’s face.

“I think our Jiminnie has a crush!” he called out teasingly.

Jimin awkwardly coughed and looked away from the television screen, suddenly caught off guard.

“Just saying she was pretty. That’s all hyung…” he said nonchalantly, shrugging his defined shoulders before picking up the remote and moving the channel into the music chart show he originally was meant to watch before he got distracted.

“It’s not like I’ll ever meet her…” he whispered, not realising Namjoon had heard the whole thing.

Namjoon guffawed, not believing what he had just heard. “What was that Jiminnie?!”

“Ah—ah.. nothing hyung! Just saying how I can’t wait when we starting promoting again soon.” Jimin pointedly indicated towards the screen. Now that wasn’t a lie. BTS were hoping to release an album soon which was to become a part of their chronology.

“Ne.. ne—” Namjoon teased — “You nearly sounded like our international ARMY fans when they compare the limited interaction they get in comparison to our Korean ARMY fans.”

Jimin was about to retort back when Jin-hyung called from the kitchen.

“Dinner’s ready guys! Wash up and come to the table while its still hot!”

“Finally!!” Jungkook yelled out eagerly before rushing towards the kitchen.

To avoid further grilling, Jimin immediately followed the maknae to the kitchen where the rest of the members resided, hoping Namjoon-hyung doesn't bring up the subject again.

Minutes before…

Showtime, Mia thought as the car slowly came to a halt in front of the theatre where the premier was being held, neatly stopping in front of the half a mile red carpet specially set out for this special occasion. Outside, the environment was charged with excitement with one side of the venue consisting with crowds of enthusiastic people lining against the barrier while the other side consisted of press junkets all awaiting behind the winding stanchion with their camera; all set up to interview her and her colleagues. Movie posters were scattered throughout the site and plastered against the railing with the sole purpose to promote the film. A long backdrop could also be seen at the end of the carpet where some of her fellow colleagues were already posing in front of forever hungry paparazzi's.

“Mia…” a voice called out, halting Mia’s admiration of the venue before glancing at Haeun-unnie who was sitting right beside her. Having been in the film industry for only four years, it never failed to astound and surprise Mia of how far she had come and the support she has received and continues to receive from her fans. She was truly honoured and blessed.

“You know me... I don’t mean to pry but what’s happened the past couple of months and what’s happened between you and Rob—“

“Unnie! It’s fine... I’m fine.” Mia insisted. “I just don’t want to waste any more minute mulling over that jerk” — she exasperated  — “I’m just glad I found him out before it got any deeper… does that make sense?” Mia asked glancing at her unnie, her eyes also insisting Haeun to not discuss the subject any further. She was in a good place in her life now.

Slowly nodding her head, “As your manager… but firstly your caring unnie—“ Haeun slowly teased — “I want to make sure you're in a right frame of mind. Specially with all of this going on.” she said seriously while nudging her head towards the chaotic site outside.

Mia gently smiled, “I am unnie… I wouldn’t lie to you now.” she said before cutely sticking her tongue out towards her to break the somber vibe. “I know how you love to report everything to Eomeoni in regards to everything about me. I just wished you wouldn’t go into too much detail… I’m 22 for pit sake! Not an irresponsible teen wilding out painting the whole town red!”

Haeun laughed along with Mia. She preferred this Mia. A carefree Mia. As her first cousin, it hurt her when Mia went through such difficult situations. As a close family member, Haeun knew Mia inside out; before the film offers, the fame, before the million dollar contracts. Heck! she had gotten quite acquainted with Mia when she went through her teen angst years. So when Mia was hurt, Haeun was also hurting. She was like the dongsaeng she never had and likewise, Haeun truly wanted only the best thing for her. 
 Besides Mark who was Mia's younger brother, men has traipsed through her life and caused more hurt than necessary. Sadly started by her own father.

“What’s with the long face unnie? We have no time for your melodramatics tonight!” Mia said teasingly. “My crowd awaits for me!” she shouted dramatically before fluttering her eyelashes and framing her petite face with both hands.

“Araso.. araso. Let’s go hotshot!”

"Just saying!”

Security moved towards Mia’s side of the car before prying the door open. Taking a slow deep breath in advance to calm her racing heart, Mia then gracefully got out of the car and smiled towards the excited audience. 
 Wanting to keep it simple, Mia wore a slim fitting nude dress, held by two thin spaghetti straps upfront before crisscrossing behind her nude back while her jet black hair was expertly tousled up with soft curled ringlets framing her face. For jewellery, she kept it minimal with a pair of diamond earrings and a white gold thin bracelet encasing her left wrist; both of which were gifts from her Eomma and dongsaeng. A little piece of them that she could bring along to this type of events; her own good luck charms. 
To the people around her, she simply looked stunning and elegant.  Screams increased in volume at her entrance and she could just about pick up her name being called out by the swarm of people. She glided towards the carpet before stopping midway between the press and the crowd. As per protocol, she faced the blinding cameras first to pose for the paparazzi to promote the film and when it was finally acceptable to move on, Mia turned and greeted the crowd.

“Hey guys! Thanks for coming along and I hope you guys haven’t been waiting for too long…”

“I will wait till the end of time for you!!!” one man shouted enthusiastically, one hand animatedly waving a magazine with her recent photoshoot cover on; with a marker pen in the other.

Grabbing the pen and the magazine altogether, Mia quickly signed her autograph before returning them back to their rightful owner. “Thank you but you’re too kind.” With one last smile she moved down the red carpet greeting her fans and repeating this same process for the next couple of minutes before Haeun-unnie gently touched her forearm and leaned towards her to whisper in her ear.

“You’ve got a quick interview with Tara from Movie Screen Junk.” Haeun said before nodding her head towards one side of the barricade. Nodding her head to show she was aware of the situation, Mia thanked the current person she was speaking to before moving towards the section where the interviews were specifically being held.

“Good to see you again Tara!”

“And you Mia! I also think that congratulations are in order! Looking at this rowdy crowd and according to reviews from the previews, it looks like you have another award winning film bagged.”

“Thank you but I can’t take all the credit! I’ll have to say that our lovely director John Thompson did such an amazing job showcasing the story. All I did was read the script and hope I did a good enough job portraying the character.” Mia jibed jokingly. “But on a serious note, everyone worked extremely hard in order to feature the story and do it justice. Sometimes it can be difficult to transition a books plot line into film and I think John did an exceptional job. It specially helped that we had the author come along to set and worked along with the actors during the filming process. It specially helped me get into the nitty gritty of my character.”

“I think you did more than read the script…”

The interview went on for a couple of minutes before Mia thanked Tara and was directed by the staff to enter the theatre hall in preparation to preview the film. After two hours of watching herself on screen, Mia decided that she wasn’t prepared for the after party and decided to head straight back to her hotel room alongside Haeun who was extremely happy with the films outcome but more than ready to relax. Both knew that they had busy schedules to fulfil for the next couple of months to promote the film so anytime free was golden in their eyes.

Settling herself comfortably in the car for the drive back to the hotel room, she excitedly shouted at Andrew; her driver for the night to play her ‘jams’. Closing her eyes, she contentedly listened.

Soft piano keys started to play in the background before a soothing hum could be heard then a deep voice started to slowly rap. Yes BTS. Hold me tight! Mia smiled dreamily.

#bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bangtan fanfic #BTS jimin #park jimin #jimin x oc #jiminxoc #noona

[kubo-is-a-goddess]

CASTLE ON THE HILL

In case you don't know, my name is Sophie. Instead of shit posting and reposting stuff, I'm gonna post some of my actual stuff on here. Lately I've been writing a four part songfic short in wattpad. And I AN idea came up that maybe I should post the first part here? I'm so bad at notes so I'll just cut it short. This isn't fully edited yet and they're all pretty confusing. Just ignore the imperfections that are on here and read the story. I just wanna know how this story will impact readers. If people like it, then I'll continue. But if they don,t then I'll stop. Anyway here it is for reals now. CASTLE ON THE HILL "Are you sure you're going to be alright here by yourself?" I asked my girlfriend as I held her shoulder from behind her as she was sitting on the couch by herself. Oddly she was tense. "Uh huh." She nodded as she kissed my cheek then rubbed the lipstick off from it. "I will. Sheesh. You'll be late!" "Right right!" I say laughing, but she didn't return it. I frown and head towards that door. "Bye love." "You too!" She replied back and that made me smile. Today was a special day since I was going back home to attend a reunion back in Wales. It's been so long since I've last been in Wales. I moved to Paris to study law and I haven't been able to go back due to my busy schedules. When I got a job here I became busier and had no time at all. I felt really bad for my girlfriend, Manoi, too since I barely had time with her. I get to have breaks from time to time, but it was for short periods of time. And now my boss actually let me have a day off for three days which was a perfect time mum and dad to hold a family reunion. I was out in the street and I hailed a cab, and I was on my way to the airport. "Where to?" The cab driver said in French. "The airport please." I replied back. Then I checked my pocket for my phone and it wasn't there. "Oh hold on! I forgot my phone." "Sure thing." The cab driver said in a slight irritated tone. I stepped out of the cab and hurried my way back to the apartment. I basically ran my way up there and when I got there I opened the door. "Hey Manoi have you see—" I cut myself off when I saw her half naked on the couch, except another man was on top of her. "ASA!"  She exclaimed, not doing a thing and the man (also half naked) just looked at me. I was frozen in shock and unable to compensate the horrid scene in front of me. My legs were stuck it's place and my eyes could barely dart away. "I thought you were at the airport!?" She said in a shocked and irritated tone. *Oh wow. Weren't you supposed to say 'I can explain!' Or something?' Unfortunately I couldn't get any words out of my mouth. I finally had control over my body and looked at the table that was beside the door and there I saw my phone. "Goodbye Manoi." I forced myself before slamming the door shut. I looked down, tears forcing it's way out. I clenched my fist out of anger until I couldn't take it and eventually just punched the door, leaving a whole. When I pulled out my hand, I saw Manoi's shocked and angered expression. I paled and then just stormed off. I made my way back to the street and I was so glad that the cab was still there. I half expected Manoi to go after to me. But when she didn't, I realized how much she didn,t really care for me. "Drive." I said in a stern voice and he did. I bet he saw my teary eyes face and just didn't talk. A few hours later due to goddamn traffic, I made it to the airport. I took my luggage from the trunk and hurried my way to the boarding area. *shit!* I almost missed my flight! A few minutes of checking and I finally boarded the plane. There I found my seat and took lots of deep breaths. *I haven't listened to music since forever.* I pulled out my phone and opened my Spotify. I remembered I had a premium because I gifted Manoi a premium for her birthday. She said she wanted to be able to listen to music while she worked in the office. She wanted to play a playlist she made just for the two us. I made my own Spotify account and she used mine too, but since she played music often, I gave her way and didn't listen to that much music. I saw the playlist named "OURS ❤️️❤️️." I went to the main settings in the website and logged out my Spotify and then changed my password so that she won't be able to log in. I went back to the app eventually and deleted the stupid playlist she made for us. I went through my old playlist that I listened to when I was still in law school. It consisted mostly of Nirvana. I played it and what came up was "All Apologies" by Nirvana in their "In Utero" album. Then I went to my photo's and deleted thousands of my pictures that consisted of us together. Tears where streaming down face and I wiped away furiously. I did that for a good amount of time until my eyes hurt and I fell asleep. *** "Monsieur" A muffled voice went through my ears. "Monsieur!" Then suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder startling me. I looked around and then I saw a flight attendant who wore an impatient and worried face. "It's time to get off the plane now, Monsieur." She said in a heavily accented voice. "Bien sûr..." I said shifting on my seat. "Merci." "Pas de quoi." The Attendant smiled and walked off. I looked back to see if she looked annoyed or anything, but she just went on and woke up all the other passenger who fell asleep during the landing. I stood up and got my luggage south of the carrier and went on. *** I took a cab to my house which was near the castle on the hill. As I watched the rolling fields, I see how much everything changed yet they stayed in the same place. *I wonder if it's the same with my family.* I got a call from my mom and instantly I answered it. "Hello." I say as welcoming possible. "Asa, deary!" Mum rambled. "I would've called while you were readying or boarding, but the signal is really bad here! How are you, darling? Did you land safe?" "Yes mum I did." I laughed. Her voice deafening. "In fact I'm on cab going there to the house now." "Oh that's great dear!" She practically shouted. "Your brother's and relatives are excited to see you!" "Mum, don't shout at the phone, I can hear you perfectly." I laughed again. Well I couldn't get mad at her I just got here. "Oh! I'm sorry dear, I couldn't get my way around this telephone thing." She said her voice lower this time. "Was I shouting again?" "No mum, you're good." "Oh that's splendid!" And she started shouting again. I decided to just suck it up. "By the way! The phone I'm using right now is the phone you bought me actually." "Really, mum? Well... do you like it?" I asked as I shifted in my seat, then suddenly the car jumped making me hit my head on the front seat. This means we're near. "Sorry, chap." The driver said and I just smiled painfully while rubbing my head. "It's wonderful darling! Although there are some problems that I can't get my way through." She kept on rambling. "Dear... maybe I'll show it to you when you arrive." "Actually, mum, I'm almost there, just a couple more blocks." I smiled, even those she can't see. "Really? I'm so excited! I can't wait to see my Asa boy at my door!" I could sense the smile in her voice. "Oh dear... I should probably hang up then since I want to talk to you in person!" "Alright, mum." I laughed. "I love you dear!" "Love you too, mum." Then I hung up. The car started to slow down and pull up right at our house. Our house was quite simple and yet quiet old as well. It had a second floor and at least eight windows; it was made with old cement and stone and the roof was an orangey-red clay tile roof, the house used to be pristine in condition, but the sides seem to have grown some ivy growing on the wall. It wasn't much of a problem since it won't go through the walls, although it looks nice, I should probably help mum and dad trim them down. The car started to slow down and pull up right at our house. Our house was quite simple and yet quiet old as well. It had a second floor and at least eight windows; it was made with old cement and stone and the roof was an orangey-red clay tile roof, the house used to be pristine in condition, but the sides seem to have grown some ivy growing on the wall. It wasn't much of a problem since it won't go through the walls, although it looks nice, I should probably help mum and dad trim them down. I made it to the door but before I could even knock, the door flew open and mum greeted me with a big proud sigh and a big hug. "Asa, dear!" She beamed while she squeezed me then let go to have a look. "My goodness! Look how handsome you became!" "And look how beautiful my mother stayed." I complimented and she raised her eyebrow. "Of course!" She joked and made a model pose. "I've worked all these years so that I'm kept on shape you know!" Then she let out her famous cackling laugh while slight slapping my arm. "63 years old and I'm still young!" She saw my bags and let out a deep smiling sigh. "Do you need help with those dear?" "No, thank you, mum. I've got it." I said with a smile. "Right! You're a man now, you have muscle." Then she let out another cackling laugh and went inside. "Alright Asa, meet everyone." I followed suit and in a blink of an eye, I was swarmed with a sea of relatives and cousins and friends I haven't seen in years. Everyone greeted me accordingly and some seemed forced and not caring but some who really knew me and watched me grow up were excited and were surprised by how much I've grown. It was nice to have this much warmth around me when I saw my girlfriend about to have sex with someone else on my couch yesterday. Mostly the cousins greeted me first then came my brothers. The eldest, Jerry, came up and noggied me down. "Looks like you're not a shorty anymore Asa!" He laughed as I struggled from his grip. "Great to see—" I wiggled away from his grasped and fixed my jacket. "—you too, Jerry." Then the second eldest, William, who also came a long way, greeted me in a orderly manner. "Nice to see you again, Ace." He said as she shook my hand and pulled me into a quick hug. "Nice to see you too, Will." I greeted. "How is it in Russia, by the way?" "Really cold and not enough sun." He laughed, I laughed too. "It's great to be home. The weather is much worse there than here. I like the suit by the way." I looked down at myself and I didn't realize that I was wearing my work clothes. "Oh, yeah, um..." "Did you come from the court or something?" He asked jokingly and lightly punched my arm. "Kidding. It's great you're here." "Alright, William, it's my turn!" I recognized that pushy voice from anywhere. "Would you mind waiting till we end our conversation?" William complained looking back at our one and only sister. "Well, I say your conversation has ended." Sophie had said to William and he rolled his eyes in return. Sophie stuck her tongue out then turn to me with wide arms. "Asa!" "Is that my big sister?" I said also with open arms. "Of course it is!" She shouted jokingly. "Oh! And look!" She showed off her hand right on her ring finger was a gleaming ring with a diamond on it. "I'M GETTING MARRIED!" "Sophia! I'm so happy for you!" I exclaimed and brought her into a big hug. "How long have you been engaged?" "About three months already." She smiled a wide and toothy smile. Her eyes seemed to sparkle and she glowed. *At least she's happy.* "Who's the lucky guy?" I asked some more, then a guy with dirty blonde hair and brown eyes; he had a prominent jawline and was as tall as I am. He stood beside Sophie and then put an arm around her. "That..." He looked at my sister with a proud and very in love smile. Sophie returned the look and seemed like she was eager to kiss him on the cheek. "...Would be me. I'm Thomas, it's great to finally meet you." He looked back at me and extended an arm. I took it gladly. "Asa." I said plainly, presenting a warm smile. "Of course, Sophie here kept talking about you since she heard news about you staying for three days." Upon him saying that, my eyebrows were raised as I was curious to how much information she had shared to her fiancé. Sophie and laughed. "Don't worry, Ace! I didn't tell him about the time you got stuck on the toilet when you were seven." Then she gave an evil smile. "Sophie!" I exclaimed in embarrassment. So that was all my siblings, I, landing in the category as the youngest amongst all. Our conversation went on, but in the end I stood silent because of me constantly zoning out. It was hard to feel completely happy and active when a picture of your ex cheating on you stuck to your head. I remember the first time Manoi met my parents. I invited mum and dad to Paris and we had dinner together in our apartment. My parents stayed in Paris for three days as well. I was supposed to bring them sight seeing, but I had to go to court that time so I asked Manoi to bring them sight seeing. After that I didn't even get to say goodbye or bring them back to the airport. I would like to know what happened...